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I did n't care over-weeningly for it for personal gratification ; and in my philosophy I completed the circle , finding myself as equable with the lack of a ten-cent piece as I was with the squandering of scores of dollars in calling all men and hangers-on up to the bar to drink with me . Howbeit I hardened my heart to endure , and muffling my head I lay still in the ship . I say the words and in my head I think that 's a really long time , but I do n't think I 'm really grasping what an incredibly LONG time that is . " I scarcely knew what I said , and in my excitement I flung away from him , while he gazed at me in silent astonishment . Is there really a benefit to clogging everyone else 's senses with your useless diatribe of how you just stepped on a sidewalk crack with your new boots that your boyfriend thinks makes you look soooo good in , that he wiped your chin last week , and oh my god I think he likes me ..... In ordinary life I work for a large janitorial company and in my head I could imagine the scorn and contempt with which the Orono janitors would be thinking about the poets and scholars they were cleaning up after . The acquisition was very rewarding for me personally because I 'm a keen pianist and in my excitement I bought a modern edition to play in preparation for the fundraising work !