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I am a giver myself , genetically predisposed , and I've often found myself wearied by the desire to heal , to reach out , to be there for others . the iterzip that I've often used as an example ) . I've often talked about the National Guard troops in airports right after the terrorist attacks , and the fact that they had no bullets in their guns . I've had a few performances in my career where I've been favored but where I've maybe underperformed , but I think when I was at the top of the class coming against the bigger challenge , the better I was really and that 's what I want now . I've again learned , the hard way , not to jump in with what I see as a path for making it through the maze . But I've often said that director independence is more a state of mind than a legal status . Hey Nikki and Allison , I think that I've once said this on one of these topics before , but have n't been on here in at least a month . I've gradually learned that , in order to improve , I need to inch my mileage up and , sometimes , slow my pace down . After all , I've often said that I consider Office , and especially its interface , to be a bigger success for Microsoft than Windows .