
Good question.  I don't have a nice concise answer, though.  What about the
child whose parents are crushed emotionally because he/she starts a carerr
doing something they greatly dislike.  It is the same kind of harm, and
is probably "caused" by the same thing:  The desire of the child to be 
true to his or her self.

What is more important, being true to yourself or burying that truth within
you in order to maintain peace in the family?

hard question, no good answer.