Discussion
disruptive behaviors
In this study, we interviewed 13 female SOs sharing a child with a male co-parent with UAU after they had participated in a web-based self-delivered support program called SPARE.We found that the main reasons for seeking support were connected to the SOs’ own emotional needs deriving from co-parent alcohol consumption and trying to understand or cope with consequences of the co-parent’s drinking. These findings are in line with the widely used Stress–Strain-Coping-Support (SSCS) model [The results are also consistent with those of a qualitative study in Australia analyzing themes for help-seeking in online counselling transcripts of partners contacting a national web-based service for substance and alcohol use [The gender asymmetry in our sample reflected the RCT, where 96% of the participants were female, a proportion similar to those in all previous CRAFT trials, with women constituting 72–100% of the participants [Regarding perceived effects of the SPARE program, most SOs described feeling calmer and relieved, had started to put their own needs first, and adapted less to the co-parent. This is in line with the results of a study by Hellum et al. [Although almost none of the SOs mentioned looking specifically for parenting strategies when searching for support, almost everyone described how one of the main appreciated effects of SPARE was related to an increased focus on their children. After setting aside 15 min daily for dedicated parent–child time, the SOs described fewer conflicts with the children, having more fun together, and talking more openly to each other. We argue that a new insight from this study is how the 15-min strategy can be applied in a situation where the main problem is not children with disruptive behaviors or a malfunctioning parent–child relationship, but where one parent’s shortcomings (in this case UAU) lead to neglect and other forms of negative consequences for the children. Dedicated parent–child time seemed to help the SOs shift focus away from arguments with the co-parent, towards the children. The positive effects on the relationship with the children were clearly described in several interviews. The protective factor of a good relationship with one parent when the other parent has substance use problems is well-established [Although most SOs described feeling concern about how the children might be affected, the consequences of the co-parent’s consumption were not perceived as severe enough to cause the children serious harm. This result can be compared to a previous Swedish qualitative study [Lastly, several SOs mentioned that they felt personalized feedback was missing. This desire for feedback is understandable, but must be related to the potential gains of offering a program that is available at all times and does not require staffing, which for some SOs can be enough—at least as an important first step.