3.2.2. Establishing Intimate Relationships
depression, ’ depression, depressed
SAID
In general, the presence of parental depression did not seem to have a negative impact on the quality of the parent/child bond. The majority of emerging adults felt they still had a close relationship with the depressed parent and often felt closer to the depressed rather than non-depressed parent. In only about one-third of the participants was any evidence found for a young person actively distancing themselves from the parental home. In terms of the impact of living in a family with depression on relationships, the young adult respondents most commonly reported that having a parent with depression made them more empathic (9). Another ten participants cited a negative impact, including that the embarrassment of having a depressed parent set them apart from their peers (3). Twelve of forty respondents felt it did not have an impact. Specifically considering peer relationships, fifteen young adults felt that growing up in a family with depression had been positive for peer relationships, most commonly resulting in greater compassion. Twelve felt the impact had been negative. Twelve of forty-two felt it had no impact, and the remainder of the responses did not fit a single category. In terms of the negative impacts, respondents reported they did not socialize as much because of their parents’ depression or worried that they might have exhibited the poor social skills of their parents. A recurring theme throughout the young adult interviews was the importance of siblings in coping with parental depression. Siblings spoke of the comfort of having someone else in the same situation. One young adult said that he had not even been able to confide his feelings to his closest friends, but he could talk to his siblings. In contrast to the benefits of siblings in coping, older siblings frequently found themselves in a parental role, filling in the gaps that disabled parents were unable to provide. The role of older siblings in providing guidance and fostering understanding of the parent’s depression was particularly apparent. 