Barriers to connection: obstacles as springboards
shyness, anger, immigration-related stressors, anxiety, playing/silliness, depression
Multiple barriers to connection emerged initially as obstacles to reaching emotional connection. From low to high frequency, these included: social barriers (3 instances), lack of time at home (4), shyness (5), understanding the intervention (10), playing/silliness (17), and child opposition to maternal closeness (40). Though labeled “barriers,” we used them as tools for initiating calming sessions.An example of a social barrier is a social network ignoring a health struggle. D explained: “In our churches, we don’t talk about depression because we don’t have a psychologist” [Observation 10]. This “cultural” barrier is more psychobiological (depression acting on the mother) and socioeconomic (inability to pay for treatment). D’s depression had resolved prior to enrollment in MCEP.D’s socioeconomic risk factors remained. A Central American immigrant working as a housekeeper, she reported a total household income slightly above the federal poverty level. Limited income and variable work schedules, especially combined with immigration-related stressors, made it difficult for such mothers to set aside consistent time to connect with their child. These factors are associated with maternal depression and anxiety [Barriers can be used as entry points into the calming cycle. For example, E* shared that her upbringing discouraged the expression of strong feelings of anger or upset. Through MCEP, she saw the value of expression and began expressing herself to her child. When, for example, E cited lack of time at home as a barrier, it was part of a statement about the benefit of group time: “I’m really enjoying the time here…I’m busy, I have a lot to do. I have two more children at home…” [Observation 3].Nurture specialists use calming session obstacles as avenues for engagement. When a mother reported shyness as a barrier in her relationship with her child, a nurture specialist encouraged this mother to “talk about how hard it is for her to be with other people, and how shy she [child] gets” [Observation 1]. In later sessions, this shyness became the focus of emotional expression. At the end of the intervention, the mother reflected primarily on the child’s increased sociability. When addressed directly by the mother–child pair, barriers serve as launchpads into a calming cycle.The idea of a “barrier” as a path to emotional connection is clear in moments of “opposition.” Since opposition to the calming position or to emotional expression often characterizes the first phase of the calming cycle, it is not surprising that opposition is the most observed barrier to connection. A child may whine “let’s go, let’s go” [S Observation 9]; cry [K Observation 6]; or lean away [N* Observation 3]. The synergy of the calming position and emotional expression converts opposition from a connection barrier into the first phase of the calming cycle. It makes sense, then, that “opposition” was most visible in dyads’ first sessions, when they were learning how to enter calming cycles (Fig. 