When Kotler traveled from their home in Israel to the US to visit his ailing father, his wife refused to join him. While Kotler was in the US his father died, and Kotler succeeded him as rosh yeshiva of Beth Medrash Govoha. Hinda Kotler refused to join her husband in Lakewood or accept a  (Jewish divorce document) without a rabbinical court in Israel hearing the case; she refused to submit to an American rabbinical court.
Kotler's journey and subsequent appointment as rosh yeshiva are intertwined with his wife's refusal to join him in the US, her resistance to American rabbinical courts, and her insistence on a legal process within Israel.