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“Test Subject #523, you have completed your paperwork and signed your consent forms. Your application has been fully processed and approved. You are now free to enter the laboratory proper, and choose from our wide array of experiments in need of eager volunteers. Have you already made a decision, or would you like to consult our catalogue? If you are unsure, we can always assign you to an experiment at random. What would like to do today?”

“I want to do *science*!”