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[EOR]
[BOC]
The grammar really puts me off. I want to read it differently, *much more eloquently*, than it's actually written.

"Now Listen. ..." would probably read better as "Now listen: ..."  
"Music" seems like it should have italics for emphasis, or be following a long dash.  
"The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony." should probably be "The writing sings; It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony." Writing doesn't always need all this grammatical flair, but it seems appropriate and very lacking in this particular example.  
The last sentence is just a run on sentence.
[EOC]
