
[BOR]
0: Safe
1: NO POLITICS
2: Be civil.
3: No bots, spam or self-promotion.
4: Shitposts and memes are allowed but...
5: No trolling.

[EOR]
[BOC]
>So, honest question. How do we explain it to you, so we don’t offend you, but you actually hear us?

"Not all men" is not a joke. It should not be mocked. It is a very serious and extremely important TRUE statement that needs to be acknowledged. I've never sexually assaulted a woman. The vast majority of men have not. So, with all due respect, *fuck* you for lumping me in with those bastards. That is a line called sexism which you may not pass.

If you're speaking to a room of 100 men, and you say "hey assaulting women is bad and it makes our lives worse", and 98 men are nodding and agreeing, and 2 men start shouting and calling you a *removed*...don't say "men" don't hear you.

I'm not saying we *understand*, mind you. That takes a lot of work, experience, empathy and just plain old knowledge. But we *hear* you and we *agree*. We're on your fucking side. We're trying to make things better. We're putting in the work.

But like...seriously. You think we don't know? You think we're not aware? You think we've just ignored everything women have been telling us for at least 70 years? *You don't have to tell us, we already know.* Yes, some men refuse to listen when women tell them what it's like. Guess what, they also refuse to listen when men tell them what it's like. And we don't associate with them. Men are not a monolith.

The experience of being a man in feminist circles is one of constantly having women scream at you to stop raping women, and you're like "but I've never even *thought* about raping" and they just scream louder "STOP RAPING WOMEN". It's exhausting.

I'm starting to ramble, so here's a concise answer to your question:

1) recognize that almost anyone who would listen to you at all most likely already agrees with you. 

2) discuss solutions. Men like solutions more than commiserating.

3) treat it as an "us vs them" problem, not a "me vs you" problem.

4) remember that men have feelings, and in many ways we're much more thin skinned than women. And that's not bad, just different. Please be considerate. 
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