
[BOR]
0: Safe
1: Please only post links to actual news sources, no tabloid sites, etc
2: No NSFW content
3: No hate speech, bigotry, propaganda, etc

[EOR]
[BOC]
First off, you need to contact a lawyer about your exposure here. Your very angry text could be  covered under menacing or blackmail depending on your state laws, and what the actual text said. You quoted your apology but not your initial threatening text. So I have no way of knowing if this is much ado about nothing or not.

&gt;she was saying that she was going to show the texts to my management team at my summer job (and i'm going to assume that she'll conveniently not show them the text apologizing or asking to remain friends).

The damage has been done with the angry text and you cannot un-ring that bell by just claiming it was uncharacteristic of you and that you've sent an apology text when you calmed down. For all they know, you've put up the pictures on a website that they just don't know about yet. Your summer job, the one you worked with the ex, is most likely not going to have you back due to these messages between employees, they have an actual liability issue with creating a hostile work environment so you're gonna wanna think about lining something else up for the summer, especially if it is seasonal employment, they don't even have to come up with an excuse. If they hire you back, great, but rest assured the mother has been in contact with them already. If the summer job is drilling for oil in Alaska or something specialized, you might have a decent chance but not if its a summer camp or something like that.

Having said all of that, the mother has no ground to stand on with your current job. The only thing she can hope to accomplish to to muddy the water for you there. You need to collect the statements from coworkers ASAP and determine what was said actually by the mother. There is nothing that I know of (I could be wrong) precluding her from talking to everyone you know and showing off print outs of your threatening text message if you actually sent it. Now, if she said anything to your coworkers that was not true or an opinion, then you would have a slander case. I would not recommend you to try to do anything with HR aside from inform them of the very basics: The woman was the mother of an ex and it was a bad break. 

Since you do not have the text messages to back up your claim of an immediate apology, have no real way to prove that you've permanently deleted the photos and live in an at will state, you need to be as proactive as possible. I would go so far as to seek out an intermediary who can go between you and the ex's mother. Assurances need to be made because if you loose this job, or move on by your own accord, the mother seems like the type to show up there as well.

&gt;I'm not out to start a war, but I feel that she is and I need to be ready.

I understand how you feel, really I do, I've said things in anger too but you need to understand from the ex and her mother's perspective, you started this "war" the second you went after anything of a sexual nature. The internet is forever and a threat like that hangs over the head of anyone male or female. They think about it when applying for jobs or when thinking about running for a political office or even if they make it into the local paper. **You** were the aggressor here, the mother is just responding in kind. Would you do any less for your own sister or mother if they had been on the receiving end of your text?
[EOC]
