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[EOR]
[BOC]
It doesn't surprise me that what you described isn't working.  Narrowing choices via email is a huge mess and nobody wants to be the first one to comment.  The only people who would comment immediately are those that cannot make the event for sure, and having those as the leadoff replies understandably leads everyone else to be less excited.

You need to narrow down the choices to 1-2 on your own, reach out 1-2 of the least flaky/most enthusiastic of your friends beforehand to make sure they're on board and THEN send out the email you described.  Don't phrase it as "what shall we do?" but instead "Hey ____, ____, and I are planning _____ at ____ time.  What do you guys think/Who's in?"
[EOC]
