text:  On the other hand supposing that I possessed the faculties for political life was I possessed of the temper the endurance of toil the measureless patience the inexhaustible equanimity which every night of my public existence would henceforth demand? Why was this heart-wearying struggle to be preferred to the simple and straightforward pursuit of an honourable profession in which the only weight was the carrying of my sword and the only secret of distinction possessing an untarnished name? But I soon made up my mind