text:  Had I as I hoped to do when in New York taken back a partner of my joys and sorrows some gentle creature who would have cheered my solitude and sympathized with all my feelings I should have experienced far less repugnance or difficulty in returning to my home in the wilderness; but as it was I felt oppressed by a sense of loneliness that seemed to paralyse my energies and that certainly rendered me any thing but fit society for the lively talkative party of which I now found myself a member