(ROOT (S (NP (NP (PRP$ My) (NN father)) (CC and) (NP (PRP I))) (VP (VBP have) (VP (VBN been) (VP (VBN separated) (PP (IN for) (NP (QP (RB over) (CD two)) (NNS years)))))) (. .)))
My father and I have been separated for over two years.
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
My
PRON
PRP$
nsubj:pass
Number=Sing
father
father
NOUN
NN
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
have
have
AUX
VBP
aux:pass
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
be
been
AUX
VBN
root
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part|Voice=Pass
separate
separated
VERB
VBN
case
for
for
ADP
IN
advmod
over
over
ADV
RB
nummod
NumForm=Word|NumType=Card
two
two
NUM
CD
obl
Number=Plur
year
years
NOUN
NNS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (NP (PRP He)) (VP (VBD was) (ADJP (ADJP (RB physically) (JJ violent)) (CC and) (ADJP (RB emotionally) (JJ abusive) (PP (IN to) (NP (PRP me))))) (PP (IN throughout) (NP (PRP$ my) (NN childhood))))) (, ,) (CC and) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD felt) (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD could) (RB n't) (VP (VB forgive) (NP (PRP him)))))))) (. .)))
He was physically violent and emotionally abusive to me throughout my childhood, and I felt that I couldn't forgive him.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
He
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
advmod
physically
physically
ADV
RB
root
Degree=Pos
violent
violent
ADJ
JJ
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
advmod
emotionally
emotionally
ADV
RB
conj
Degree=Pos
abusive
abusive
ADJ
JJ
case
to
to
ADP
IN
obl
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
case
throughout
throughout
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
obl
Number=Sing
childhood
childhood
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
feel
felt
VERB
VBD
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
could
could
AUX
MD
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
ccomp
VerbForm=Inf
forgive
forgive
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (CC And) (ADVP (RB yet)) (, ,) (ADVP (RB now)) (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VBZ is) (VP (VBG dying) (, ,) (ADJP (JJ unconscious)) (CC and) (VP (VBG struggling) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB breathe) (PP (IN through) (NP (DT an) (NN oxygen) (NN tube))) (PP (IN after) (NP (DT a) (JJ major) (NN stroke))))))))) (, ,) (S (NP (NP (DT all)) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD can) (VP (VB think) (PP (IN of))))))) (VP (VBZ is) (SBAR (WHNP (WRB how) (JJ much)) (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VBD loved) (NP (PRP me))))))) (. .)))
And yet, now he is dying, unconscious and struggling to breathe through an oxygen tube after a major stroke, all I can think of is how much he loved me.
cc
and
And
CCONJ
CC
advmod
yet
yet
ADV
RB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
now
now
ADV
RB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
is
AUX
VBZ
root
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
die
dying
VERB
VBG
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
conj
Degree=Pos
unconscious
unconscious
ADJ
JJ
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
VerbForm=Ger
struggle
struggling
VERB
VBG
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
breathe
breathe
VERB
VB
case
through
through
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
an
DET
DT
compound
Number=Sing
oxygen
oxygen
NOUN
NN
obl
Number=Sing
tube
tube
NOUN
NN
case
after
after
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
major
major
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Sing
stroke
stroke
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj:outer
all
all
DET
DT
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
can
can
AUX
MD
acl:relcl
VerbForm=Inf
think
think
VERB
VB
obl
of
of
ADP
IN
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
is
AUX
VBZ
advmod
PronType=Int
how
how
ADV
WRB
advmod
Degree=Pos
much
much
ADJ
JJ
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
love
loved
VERB
VBD
obj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (NFP  ))
root
PUNCT
NFP
(ROOT (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB How)) (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (MD would) (VP (VP (VB hold) (NP (PRP$ my) (NN fringe)) (ADVP (RB back))) (CC and) (VP (VB kiss) (NP (PRP me)) (PP (IN on) (NP (DT the) (NN forehead))) (PP (IN before) (NP (NN school))))))) (. .)))
How he would hold my fringe back and kiss me on the forehead before school.
advmod
PronType=Int
how
How
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
would
would
AUX
MD
root
VerbForm=Inf
hold
hold
VERB
VB
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
obj
Number=Sing
fringe
fringe
NOUN
NN
advmod
back
back
ADV
RB
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
VerbForm=Inf
kiss
kiss
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
case
on
on
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
forehead
forehead
NOUN
NN
case
before
before
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
school
school
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB How)) (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VP (VBD bought) (NP (PRP me)) (NP (DT a) (NML (NML (NN pottery) (NN set)) (CC and) (NML (NN roller) (NNS skates)))) (, ,) (SBAR (IN although) (S (NP (PRP we)) (VP (VBD were) (VP (VBG struggling) (PP (IN by)) (PP (IN on) (NP (RB just) (PRP$ his) (NN salary))))))) (, ,)) (CC and) (VP (VBD allowed) (S (NP (PRP me)) (VP (TO to) (VP (VB skate) (PP (IN to) (NP (NN school))))))))) (. .)))
How he bought me a pottery set and roller skates, although we were struggling by on just his salary, and allowed me to skate to school.
advmod
PronType=Int
how
How
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
buy
bought
VERB
VBD
iobj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
compound
Number=Sing
pottery
pottery
NOUN
NN
obj
Number=Sing
set
set
NOUN
NN
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
compound
Number=Sing
roller
roller
NOUN
NN
conj
Number=Plur
skate
skates
NOUN
NNS
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
mark
although
although
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Plur|Person=1|PronType=Prs
we
we
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
were
AUX
VBD
advcl
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
struggle
struggling
VERB
VBG
case
by
by
ADP
IN
case
on
on
ADP
IN
advmod
just
just
ADV
RB
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
obl
Number=Sing
salary
salary
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
allow
allowed
VERB
VBD
iobj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
skate
skate
VERB
VB
case
to
to
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
school
school
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB How)) (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (MD would) (VP (VP (VB play) (NP (NN chess) (CC and) (NN tennis)) (PP (IN with) (NP (PRP me)))) (, ,) (CC and) (VP (VB take) (NP (PRP me)) (PP (IN to) (NP (JJ endless) (NML (NN chess) (CC and) (NN tennis)) (NNS tournaments)))))))) (, ,) (SBAR (ADVP (RB even)) (IN though) (S (NP (PRP I)) (ADVP (RB never)) (VP (VBD won) (NP (NN anything))))) (. .)))
How he would play chess and tennis with me, and take me to endless chess and tennis tournaments, even though I never won anything.
advmod
PronType=Int
how
How
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
would
would
AUX
MD
root
VerbForm=Inf
play
play
VERB
VB
obj
Number=Sing
chess
chess
NOUN
NN
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
Number=Sing
tennis
tennis
NOUN
NN
case
with
with
ADP
IN
obl
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
VerbForm=Inf
take
take
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
case
to
to
ADP
IN
amod
Degree=Pos
endless
endless
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Sing
chess
chess
NOUN
NN
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
compound
Number=Sing
tennis
tennis
NOUN
NN
conj
Number=Plur
tournament
tournaments
NOUN
NNS
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
even
even
ADV
RB
mark
though
though
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
advmod
never
never
ADV
RB
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
win
won
VERB
VBD
obj
Number=Sing|PronType=Ind
anything
anything
PRON
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB How)) (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (MD would) (VP (VP (VB read) (NP (DT the) (NNP Guardian)) (NP (DT every) (NN day))) (CC and) (VP (VB fill) (PP (IN in) (NP (DT the) (JJ quick) (NN crossword)))) (, ,) (CC but) (VP (VB leave) (NP (DT a) (JJ few) (NNS clues))) (CC and) (VP (VB praise) (NP (PRP me)) (SBAR (IN if) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD solved) (NP (PRP them))))))))) (. .)))
How he would read the Guardian every day and fill in the quick crossword, but leave a few clues and praise me if I solved them.
advmod
PronType=Int
how
How
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
would
would
AUX
MD
root
VerbForm=Inf
read
read
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
Guardian
Guardian
PROPN
NNP
det
every
every
DET
DT
obl:tmod
Number=Sing
day
day
NOUN
NN
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
VerbForm=Inf
fill
fill
VERB
VB
compound:prt
in
in
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
quick
quick
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Sing
crossword
crossword
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
but
but
CCONJ
CC
conj
VerbForm=Inf
leave
leave
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
few
few
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Plur
clue
clues
NOUN
NNS
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
VerbForm=Inf
praise
praise
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
mark
if
if
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
solve
solved
VERB
VBD
obj
Case=Acc|Number=Plur|Person=3|PronType=Prs
they
them
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (NP (PRP He)) (VP (VBD kept) (NP (NP (DT every) (CD one)) (PP (IN of) (NP (PRP$ my) (NNP Guardian) (NNS columns)))))) (, ,) (CC and) (S (NP (NP (DT every) (NN article)) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP I)) (ADVP (RB ever)) (VP (VBD had) (VP (VBN published)))))) (, ,) (PP (ADVP (RB even)) (IN during) (NP (PRP$ our) (JJ many) (JJ estranged) (NNS periods)))) (. .)))
He kept every one of my Guardian columns, and every article I ever had published, even during our many estranged periods.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
He
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
keep
kept
VERB
VBD
det
every
every
DET
DT
obj
NumForm=Word|NumType=Card
one
one
NUM
CD
case
of
of
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
compound
Number=Sing
Guardian
Guardian
PROPN
NNP
nmod
Number=Plur
column
columns
NOUN
NNS
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
det
every
every
DET
DT
conj
Number=Sing
article
article
NOUN
NN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
advmod
ever
ever
ADV
RB
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
have
had
AUX
VBD
acl:relcl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
publish
published
VERB
VBN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
even
even
ADV
RB
case
during
during
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Plur|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
our
our
PRON
PRP$
amod
Degree=Pos
many
many
ADJ
JJ
amod
Degree=Pos
estranged
estranged
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Plur
period
periods
NOUN
NNS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP He)) (VP (VBD gave) (NP (PRP me)) (NP (NP (DT a) (NN lot)) (PP (IN of) (NP (PRP$ his) (NNS savings)))) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB buy) (NP (DT a) (NN flat))))) (SBAR (IN after) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD became) (NP (DT a) (JJ single) (NN mum)))))) (. .)))
He gave me a lot of his savings to buy a flat after I became a single mum.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
He
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
give
gave
VERB
VBD
iobj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
lot
lot
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
nmod
Number=Plur
savings
savings
NOUN
NNS
mark
to
to
PART
TO
advcl
VerbForm=Inf
buy
buy
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
flat
flat
NOUN
NN
mark
after
after
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
become
became
VERB
VBD
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
single
single
ADJ
JJ
xcomp
Number=Sing
mum
mum
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (CC And) (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VBD set) (NP (NP (PRP$ my) (NN date)) (PP (IN of) (NP (NN birth)))) (PP (IN as) (NP (NP (DT the) (NN pass) (NN code)) (PP (IN on) (NP (PRP$ his) (NN phone)))))) (. .)))
And he set my date of birth as the pass code on his phone.
cc
and
And
CCONJ
CC
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
set
set
VERB
VBD
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
obj
Number=Sing
date
date
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Sing
birth
birth
NOUN
NN
case
as
as
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
compound
Number=Sing
pass
pass
NOUN
NN
obl
Number=Sing
code
code
NOUN
NN
case
on
on
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
nmod
Number=Sing
phone
phone
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (NFP  ))
root
PUNCT
NFP
(ROOT (S (ADVP (CC Yet)) (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP 'm) (ADJP (JJ ashamed) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB say) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD blamed) (NP (PRP him)) (, ,) (ADVP (RB often)) (, ,) (PP (IN for) (NP (NP (NN everything)) (: :) (NP (NP (PRP$ my) (NN anorexia)) (, ,) (NP (PRP$ my) (NN cutting)) (, ,) (NP (PRP$ my) (NN anxiety)) (, ,) (NP (PRP$ my) (NN depression))))))))))))) (, ...) (. .)))
Yet I'm ashamed to say I blamed him, often, for everything: my anorexia, my cutting, my anxiety, my depression....
cc
yet
Yet
CCONJ
CC
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
'm
AUX
VBP
root
Degree=Pos
ashamed
ashamed
ADJ
JJ
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
say
say
VERB
VB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
ccomp
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
blame
blamed
VERB
VBD
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
often
often
ADV
RB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
case
for
for
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing|PronType=Tot
everything
everything
PRON
NN
punct
:
:
PUNCT
:
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
appos
Number=Sing
anorexia
anorexia
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
list
Number=Sing
cutting
cutting
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
appos
Number=Sing
anxiety
anxiety
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
appos
Number=Sing
depression
depression
NOUN
NN
punct
...
...
PUNCT
,
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (NP (PRP He)) (VP (VBD was) (ADVP (RB there)) (PP (IN during) (NP (DT the) (JJ tough) (NNS times))))) (, ,) (CC yet) (S (NP (NP (DT all)) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD could) (VP (VB think)))))) (VP (VBD was) (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (DT the) (JJ tough) (NNS times)) (VP (VBD happened) (PP (IN because) (IN of) (NP (PRP him))) (, ,) (S (VP (VBG forgetting) (SBAR (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (NP (DT the) (NNS causes)) (PP (IN of) (NP (NNS events)))) (VP (VBP are) (ADJP (JJ complex))))) (, ,) (CC and) (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (NP (NN plenty)) (PP (IN of) (NP (NP (NNS people)) (SBAR (WHNP (WP who)) (S (VP (VBD had) (NP (JJ happy) (NNS childhoods)))))))) (VP (VB have) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB deal) (PP (IN with) (NP (NP (JJ mental) (NN illness)) (CC and) (NP (JJ domestic) (NN violence)))) (ADVP (RB too)))))))))))))))) (. .)))
He was there during the tough times, yet all I could think was that the tough times happened because of him, forgetting that the causes of events are complex, and that plenty of people who had happy childhoods have to deal with mental illness and domestic violence too.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
He
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
root
PronType=Dem
there
there
ADV
RB
case
during
during
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
tough
tough
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Plur
time
times
NOUN
NNS
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
yet
yet
CCONJ
CC
nsubj:outer
all
all
DET
DT
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
could
could
AUX
MD
acl:relcl
VerbForm=Inf
think
think
VERB
VB
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
tough
tough
ADJ
JJ
nsubj
Number=Plur
time
times
NOUN
NNS
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
happen
happened
VERB
VBD
case
because
because
ADP
IN
fixed
of
of
ADP
IN
obl
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advcl
VerbForm=Ger
forget
forgetting
VERB
VBG
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
nsubj
Number=Plur
cause
causes
NOUN
NNS
case
of
of
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Plur
event
events
NOUN
NNS
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
are
AUX
VBP
ccomp
Degree=Pos
complex
complex
ADJ
JJ
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Number=Sing
plenty
plenty
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Plur
person
people
NOUN
NNS
nsubj
PronType=Rel
who
who
PRON
WP
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
have
had
VERB
VBD
amod
Degree=Pos
happy
happy
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Plur
childhood
childhoods
NOUN
NNS
conj
VerbForm=Inf
have
have
VERB
VB
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
deal
deal
VERB
VB
case
with
with
ADP
IN
amod
Degree=Pos
mental
mental
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Sing
illness
illness
NOUN
NN
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
amod
Degree=Pos
domestic
domestic
ADJ
JJ
conj
Number=Sing
violence
violence
NOUN
NN
advmod
too
too
ADV
RB
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (NFP  ))
root
PUNCT
NFP
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP I)) (ADVP (RB even)) (VP (VBD stopped) (NP (PRP him)) (PP (IN from) (S (VP (VBG seeing) (NP (NP (PRP$ my) (NN daughter)) (, ,) (RB then) (NP (CD three)) (, ,) (NP (NP (DT the) (NN thing)) (SBAR (WHNP (WDT that)) (S (VP (VBD brought) (NP (PRP him)) (NP (JJS most) (NN happiness)))))))))) (, ,) (SBAR (SBAR (IN because) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD was) (ADJP (JJ scared) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (MD would) (VP (VB hurt) (NP (PRP her)))))))))) (, ,) (CC and) (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (PRP$ her) (NN life)) (VP (MD would) (VP (VB be) (PP (IN like) (NP (PRP mine))))))))) (. .)))
I even stopped him from seeing my daughter, then three, the thing that brought him most happiness, because I was scared he would hurt her, and that her life would be like mine.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
advmod
even
even
ADV
RB
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
stop
stopped
VERB
VBD
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
mark
from
from
SCONJ
IN
advcl
VerbForm=Ger
see
seeing
VERB
VBG
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
obj
Number=Sing
daughter
daughter
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
PronType=Dem
then
then
ADV
RB
appos
NumForm=Word|NumType=Card
three
three
NUM
CD
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
appos
Number=Sing
thing
thing
NOUN
NN
nsubj
PronType=Rel
that
that
PRON
WDT
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
bring
brought
VERB
VBD
iobj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
amod
Degree=Sup
most
most
ADJ
JJS
obj
Number=Sing
happiness
happiness
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
mark
because
because
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
advcl
Degree=Pos
scared
scared
ADJ
JJ
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
would
would
AUX
MD
ccomp
VerbForm=Inf
hurt
hurt
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Fem|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
her
her
PRON
PRP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Fem|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
her
her
PRON
PRP$
nsubj
Number=Sing
life
life
NOUN
NN
aux
VerbForm=Fin
would
would
AUX
MD
cop
VerbForm=Inf
be
be
AUX
VB
case
like
like
ADP
IN
conj
Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
mine
mine
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (DT That) (NN decision)) (VP (MD would) (VP (VB mean) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP he)) (ADVP (RB never)) (VP (VBD spoke) (PP (IN to) (NP (PRP me))) (ADVP (RB again))))))) (. .)))
That decision would mean he never spoke to me again.
det
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
that
That
DET
DT
nsubj
Number=Sing
decision
decision
NOUN
NN
aux
VerbForm=Fin
would
would
AUX
MD
root
VerbForm=Inf
mean
mean
VERB
VB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
advmod
never
never
ADV
RB
ccomp
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
speak
spoke
VERB
VBD
case
to
to
ADP
IN
obl
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
advmod
again
again
ADV
RB
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (NFP  ))
root
PUNCT
NFP
(ROOT (S (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB When)) (S (NP (PRP we)) (VP (VBD spent) (NP (NN time)) (ADVP (RB together)) (PP (IN in) (NP (JJ previous) (NNS years)))))) (, ,) (NP (PRP$ my) (NN father)) (VP (VBD hugged) (NP (PRP me)) (NP (NP (DT a) (NN lot)) (ADVP (RB yet))) (ADVP (RB never)) (VP (VBD talked) (ADVP (RB much)))) (. .)))
When we spent time together in previous years, my father hugged me a lot yet never talked much.
advmod
PronType=Int
when
When
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Plur|Person=1|PronType=Prs
we
we
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
spend
spent
VERB
VBD
obj
Number=Sing
time
time
NOUN
NN
advmod
together
together
ADV
RB
case
in
in
ADP
IN
amod
Degree=Pos
previous
previous
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Plur
year
years
NOUN
NNS
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
nsubj
Number=Sing
father
father
NOUN
NN
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
hug
hugged
VERB
VBD
obj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obl:npmod
Number=Sing
lot
lot
NOUN
NN
advmod
yet
yet
ADV
RB
advmod
never
never
ADV
RB
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
talk
talked
VERB
VBD
advmod
much
much
ADV
RB
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (VP (VBN Born) (PP (IN in) (NP (JJ 1930s) (NNP America))) (PP (IN during) (NP (DT the) (NNP Depression))))) (, ,) (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VBD was) (NP (NP (NP (DT a) (NN man)) (PP (IN of) (NP (JJ few) (NNS words)))) (, ,) (NP (NP (DT a) (JJ silent) (NN romantic)) (SBAR (WHNP (WP who)) (S (VP (VBD signed) (NP (PRP$ his) (JJ empty) (NP (NNP Valentine) (POS 's)) (NNS cards)) (PP (IN to) (NP (PRP$ my) (NN mother))) (PP (IN with) (NP (RB only) (PRP$ his) (JJ first) (NN initial))))))))) (. .)))
Born in 1930s America during the Depression, he was a man of few words, a silent romantic who signed his empty Valentine's cards to my mother with only his first initial.
acl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
bear
Born
VERB
VBN
case
in
in
ADP
IN
amod
Degree=Pos
1930s
1930s
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Sing
America
America
PROPN
NNP
case
during
during
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
Depression
Depression
PROPN
NNP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
root
Number=Sing
man
man
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
amod
Degree=Pos
few
few
ADJ
JJ
nmod
Number=Plur
word
words
NOUN
NNS
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
silent
silent
ADJ
JJ
appos
Number=Sing
romantic
romantic
NOUN
NN
nsubj
PronType=Rel
who
who
PRON
WP
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
sign
signed
VERB
VBD
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
amod
Degree=Pos
empty
empty
ADJ
JJ
nmod:poss
Number=Sing
Valentine
Valentine
PROPN
NNP
case
's
's
PART
POS
obj
Number=Plur
card
cards
NOUN
NNS
case
to
to
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
obl
Number=Sing
mother
mother
NOUN
NN
case
with
with
ADP
IN
advmod
only
only
ADV
RB
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
amod
Degree=Pos|NumType=Ord
first
first
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Sing
initial
initial
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP know) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VBD thought) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD talked) (ADVP (RB too) (RB much)))))))))) (, ;) (S (ADVP (RB ironically)) (, ,) (NP (PRP I)) (ADVP (RB never)) (VP (VBD told) (NP (PRP him)) (SBAR (WHNP (WP what)) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD needed) (S (VP (TO to)))))))) (. .)))
I know he thought I talked too much; ironically, I never told him what I needed to.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
know
know
VERB
VBP
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
ccomp
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
think
thought
VERB
VBD
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
ccomp
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
talk
talked
VERB
VBD
advmod
too
too
ADV
RB
advmod
much
much
ADV
RB
punct
;
;
PUNCT
,
advmod
ironically
ironically
ADV
RB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
advmod
never
never
ADV
RB
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
tell
told
VERB
VBD
iobj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
obj
PronType=Rel
what
what
PRON
WP
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
ccomp
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
need
needed
VERB
VBD
xcomp
to
to
PART
TO
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (S (VP (VBG Knowing) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VBD was) (ADJP (JJ old))))))) (, ,) (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD tried) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB get) (ADVP (RB back) (PP (IN in) (NP (NN touch)))) (NP (JJ several) (NNS times)) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB make) (NP (NNS things)) (ADJP (RB right)))))))))) (, ,) (CC but) (S (NP (PRP$ my) (NN mother)) (VP (VBD said) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VBD did) (RB n't) (VP (VB want) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB hear) (PP (IN from) (NP (PRP me)))))))))))) (. .)))
Knowing he was old, I tried to get back in touch several times to make things right, but my mother said he didn't want to hear from me.
advcl
VerbForm=Ger
know
Knowing
VERB
VBG
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
ccomp
Degree=Pos
old
old
ADJ
JJ
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
try
tried
VERB
VBD
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
get
get
VERB
VB
advmod
back
back
ADV
RB
case
in
in
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
touch
touch
NOUN
NN
amod
Degree=Pos
several
several
ADJ
JJ
obl:tmod
Number=Plur
time
times
NOUN
NNS
mark
to
to
PART
TO
advcl
VerbForm=Inf
make
make
VERB
VB
obj
Number=Plur
thing
things
NOUN
NNS
xcomp
right
right
ADV
RB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
but
but
CCONJ
CC
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
nsubj
Number=Sing
mother
mother
NOUN
NN
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
say
said
VERB
VBD
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
do
did
AUX
VBD
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
ccomp
VerbForm=Inf
want
want
VERB
VB
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
hear
hear
VERB
VB
case
from
from
ADP
IN
obl
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP understand) (NP (DT that))) (. .)))
I understand that.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
understand
understand
VERB
VBP
obj
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
that
that
PRON
DT
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (SBARQ (WHADVP (WRB Why)) (SQ (MD would) (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VB want) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB hear) (PP (IN from) (NP (NP (NP (DT the) (NN daughter)) (SBAR (WHNP (WP who)) (S (VP (VBD was) (ADVP (RB never)) (ADJP (JJ able) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB forgive) (NP (PRP him)) (PP (IN for) (NP (PRP$ his) (NNS mistakes))))))))))) (: ;) (SBAR (WHNP (WP who)) (S (VP (VBD brought) (NP (PRP them)) (PRT (RP up)) (NP (NN time)) (PP (IN after) (NP (NN time))) (, ,) (S (ADJP (JJ unable) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB accept) (NP (PRP$ his) (NNS apologies))))))))))))))))) (. ?)))
Why would he want to hear from the daughter who was never able to forgive him for his mistakes; who brought them up time after time, unable to accept his apologies?
advmod
PronType=Int
why
Why
ADV
WRB
aux
VerbForm=Fin
would
would
AUX
MD
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
root
VerbForm=Inf
want
want
VERB
VB
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
hear
hear
VERB
VB
case
from
from
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
daughter
daughter
NOUN
NN
nsubj
PronType=Rel
who
who
PRON
WP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
advmod
never
never
ADV
RB
acl:relcl
Degree=Pos
able
able
ADJ
JJ
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
forgive
forgive
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
case
for
for
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
obl
Number=Plur
mistake
mistakes
NOUN
NNS
punct
;
;
PUNCT
:
nsubj
PronType=Rel
who
who
PRON
WP
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
bring
brought
VERB
VBD
obj
Case=Acc|Number=Plur|Person=3|PronType=Prs
they
them
PRON
PRP
compound:prt
up
up
ADP
RP
obl:tmod
Number=Sing
time
time
NOUN
NN
case
after
after
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Sing
time
time
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
parataxis
Degree=Pos
unable
unable
ADJ
JJ
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
accept
accept
VERB
VB
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
obj
Number=Plur
apology
apologies
NOUN
NNS
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (SBARQ (WHNP (WP Who)) (SQ (VP (VBD prevented) (NP (PRP him)) (PP (IN from) (S (VP (VBG seeing) (NP (PRP$ his) (NN granddaughter))))))) (. ?)))
Who prevented him from seeing his granddaughter?
nsubj
PronType=Int
who
Who
PRON
WP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
prevent
prevented
VERB
VBD
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
mark
from
from
SCONJ
IN
advcl
VerbForm=Ger
see
seeing
VERB
VBG
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
obj
Number=Sing
granddaughter
granddaughter
NOUN
NN
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (SBAR (WHNP (WP Who)) (S (VP (VBD scolded) (NP (PRP him)) (PP (IN for) (NP (PRP$ his) (NNS faults)))))) (, ,) (CC yet) (ADVP (RB never)) (VP (VBD acknowledged) (NP (PRP$ his) (JJ numerous) (NNS kindnesses))) (. ?)))
Who scolded him for his faults, yet never acknowledged his numerous kindnesses?
nsubj
PronType=Int
who
Who
PRON
WP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
scold
scolded
VERB
VBD
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
case
for
for
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
obl
Number=Plur
fault
faults
NOUN
NNS
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
yet
yet
CCONJ
CC
advmod
never
never
ADV
RB
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
acknowledge
acknowledged
VERB
VBD
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
amod
Degree=Pos
numerous
numerous
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Plur
kindness
kindnesses
NOUN
NNS
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (NFP  ))
root
PUNCT
NFP
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP It)) (VP (VBZ 's) (ADJP (RB much) (RB too) (JJ late)) (ADVP (RB now))) (. .)))
It's much too late now.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
It
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
AUX
VBZ
advmod
much
much
ADV
RB
advmod
too
too
ADV
RB
root
Degree=Pos
late
late
ADJ
JJ
advmod
now
now
ADV
RB
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB When)) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VP (VBP sit) (PP (IN by) (NP (PRP$ his) (NN hospital) (NN bed)))) (CC and) (VP (VBP hold) (NP (PRP$ his) (JJ large) (JJ wrinkled) (NN hand))) (, ,) (ADJP (RB far) (RB too) (JJ warm)) (, ,) (CC and) (VP (VBP ask) (NP (PRP him)) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB squeeze) (NP (PRP it)) (SBAR (IN if) (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (MD can) (VP (VB hear) (NP (PRP me))))))))))))) (, ,) (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VBZ does) (RB n't)) (. .)))
When I sit by his hospital bed and hold his large wrinkled hand, far too warm, and ask him to squeeze it if he can hear me, he doesn't.
advmod
PronType=Int
when
When
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
sit
sit
VERB
VBP
case
by
by
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
compound
Number=Sing
hospital
hospital
NOUN
NN
obl
Number=Sing
bed
bed
NOUN
NN
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
hold
hold
VERB
VBP
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
amod
Degree=Pos
large
large
ADJ
JJ
amod
Degree=Pos
wrinkled
wrinkled
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Sing
hand
hand
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
Degree=Pos
far
far
ADV
RB
advmod
too
too
ADV
RB
xcomp
Degree=Pos
warm
warm
ADJ
JJ
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
ask
ask
VERB
VBP
iobj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
squeeze
squeeze
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
mark
if
if
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
can
can
AUX
MD
advcl
VerbForm=Inf
hear
hear
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
do
does
AUX
VBZ
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (RB So) (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP tell) (NP (PRP him)) (NP (NP (DT a) (JJ few)) (PP (IN of) (NP (NP (DT the) (NNS things)) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD should) (VP (VB have) (VP (VBN told) (NP (PRP him)) (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB when)) (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VBD was) (ADJP (JJ conscious))))))))))))))) (, ,) (SBAR (RB though) (S (NP (NP (PRP it))) (VP (VBZ 's) (ADJP (JJ hard)) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB say) (NP (NP (DT the) (NNS words)) (: :) (SBAR (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP love) (NP (PRP him)) (ADVP (RB very) (RB much))))) (, ,) (CC and) (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP 'm) (ADJP (JJ sorry) (PP (IN about) (NP (DT the) (NN estrangement))))))))))))))) (. .)))
So I tell him a few of the things I should have told him when he was conscious, though it's hard to say the words: that I love him very much, and that I'm sorry about the estrangement.
advmod
so
So
ADV
RB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
tell
tell
VERB
VBP
iobj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obj
Degree=Pos
few
few
ADJ
JJ
case
of
of
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
nmod
Number=Plur
thing
things
NOUN
NNS
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
should
should
AUX
MD
aux
VerbForm=Inf
have
have
AUX
VB
acl:relcl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
tell
told
VERB
VBN
iobj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
advmod
PronType=Int
when
when
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
advcl
Degree=Pos
conscious
conscious
ADJ
JJ
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
though
though
ADV
RB
expl
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
AUX
VBZ
parataxis
Degree=Pos
hard
hard
ADJ
JJ
mark
to
to
PART
TO
csubj
VerbForm=Inf
say
say
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obj
Number=Plur
word
words
NOUN
NNS
punct
:
:
PUNCT
:
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
appos
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
love
love
VERB
VBP
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
advmod
very
very
ADV
RB
advmod
Degree=Pos
much
much
ADV
RB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
'm
AUX
VBP
conj
Degree=Pos
sorry
sorry
ADJ
JJ
case
about
about
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
estrangement
estrangement
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (CC And) (NP (PRP it)) (VP (VBZ reminds) (NP (PRP me)) (PP (IN of) (NP (SBAR (WHNP (WP what)) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP 've) (VP (VBN known) (PP (IN for) (NP (DT a) (JJ long) (NN time))))))) (: :) (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (PRP$ my) (NN dad)) (VP (VBD did) (RB n't) (VP (VB know) (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB how)) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB be) (NP (NP (DT a) (NN father)) (PP (IN to) (NP (PRP me)))) (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB when)) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD was) (ADJP (JJ young))))))))) (, ,) (SBAR (IN because) (S (NP (PRP$ his) (NN father)) (VP (VBD was) (ADJP (JJ abusive) (PP (IN to) (NP (PRP him))) (PP (IN as) (NP (DT a) (NN child)))))))))))))) (. .)))
And it reminds me of what I've known for a long time: that my dad didn't know how to be a father to me when I was young, because his father was abusive to him as a child.
cc
and
And
CCONJ
CC
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
remind
reminds
VERB
VBZ
iobj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
case
of
of
ADP
IN
obl
PronType=Rel
what
what
PRON
WP
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
have
've
AUX
VBP
acl:relcl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
know
known
VERB
VBN
case
for
for
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
long
long
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Sing
time
time
NOUN
NN
punct
:
:
PUNCT
:
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
nsubj
Number=Sing
dad
dad
NOUN
NN
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
do
did
AUX
VBD
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
parataxis
VerbForm=Inf
know
know
VERB
VB
obj
PronType=Int
how
how
ADV
WRB
mark
to
to
PART
TO
cop
VerbForm=Inf
be
be
AUX
VB
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
acl
Number=Sing
father
father
NOUN
NN
case
to
to
ADP
IN
nmod
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
advmod
PronType=Int
when
when
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
advcl
Degree=Pos
young
young
ADJ
JJ
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
mark
because
because
SCONJ
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
nsubj
Number=Sing
father
father
NOUN
NN
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
advcl
Degree=Pos
abusive
abusive
ADJ
JJ
case
to
to
ADP
IN
obl
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
case
as
as
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
child
child
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (NP (PRP$ His) (NN father)) (VP (VBD died) (S (VP (VBN estranged) (PP (IN from) (NP (PRP$ his) (NN son))))))) (: ;) (S (NP (PRP$ my) (NN father)) (VP (VBZ is) (VP (VBG dying) (S (ADJP (JJ estranged) (PP (IN from) (NP (PRP$ his) (NN daughter)))))))) (. .)))
His father died estranged from his son; my father is dying estranged from his daughter.
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
His
PRON
PRP$
nsubj
Number=Sing
father
father
NOUN
NN
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
die
died
VERB
VBD
advcl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
estranged
estranged
VERB
VBN
case
from
from
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
obl
Number=Sing
son
son
NOUN
NN
punct
;
;
PUNCT
:
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
nsubj
Number=Sing
father
father
NOUN
NN
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
is
AUX
VBZ
parataxis
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
die
dying
VERB
VBG
xcomp
Degree=Pos
estranged
estranged
ADJ
JJ
case
from
from
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
obl
Number=Sing
daughter
daughter
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (NFP  ))
root
PUNCT
NFP
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP I)) (ADVP (RB never)) (VP (VBD thought) (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD 'd) (VP (VB feel) (NP (DT this) (VBN broken)) (PP (IN at) (S (VP (VBG losing) (NP (PRP him)))))))))) (. .)))
I never thought that I'd feel this broken at losing him.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
advmod
never
never
ADV
RB
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
think
thought
VERB
VBD
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
would
'd
AUX
MD
ccomp
VerbForm=Inf
feel
feel
VERB
VB
obj
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
this
this
PRON
DT
xcomp
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
break
broken
VERB
VBN
mark
at
at
SCONJ
IN
advcl
VerbForm=Ger
lose
losing
VERB
VBG
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP fantasise) (SBAR (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (PRP$ his) (NNS eyes)) (VP (MD will) (VP (VB open))))) (, ,) (CC and) (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (MD will) (VP (VB be) (ADJP (JJ conscious)) (ADVP (RB again)) (PP (IN for) (NP (RB just) (DT a) (JJ few) (NNS days))))))))) (. .)))
I fantasise that his eyes will open, and that he will be conscious again for just a few days.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
fantasise
fantasise
VERB
VBP
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
nsubj
Number=Plur
eye
eyes
NOUN
NNS
aux
VerbForm=Fin
will
will
AUX
MD
ccomp
VerbForm=Inf
open
open
VERB
VB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
will
will
AUX
MD
cop
VerbForm=Inf
be
be
AUX
VB
conj
Degree=Pos
conscious
conscious
ADJ
JJ
advmod
again
again
ADV
RB
case
for
for
ADP
IN
advmod
just
just
ADV
RB
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
few
few
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Plur
day
days
NOUN
NNS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD will) (VP (VB give) (NP (PRP him)) (NP (NP (DT a) (NN letter)) (VP (VBG thanking) (NP (PRP him)) (PP (IN for) (NP (NP (PDT all) (DT the) (NNS things)) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP have) (VP (VBN remembered) (SBAR (IN while) (S (VP (VP (VBG writing) (NP (DT this) (NN piece))) (, ,) (CC and) (VP (VBG apologizing) (PP (IN for) (NP (NP (PDT all) (DT the) (NNS ways)) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP have) (VP (VBN wronged) (NP (PRP him)))))))))))))))))))))) (. .)))
I will give him a letter thanking him for all the things I have remembered while writing this piece, and apologizing for all the ways I have wronged him.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
will
will
AUX
MD
root
VerbForm=Inf
give
give
VERB
VB
iobj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
letter
letter
NOUN
NN
acl
VerbForm=Ger
thank
thanking
VERB
VBG
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
case
for
for
ADP
IN
det:predet
all
all
DET
PDT
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Plur
thing
things
NOUN
NNS
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
have
have
AUX
VBP
acl:relcl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
remember
remembered
VERB
VBN
mark
while
while
SCONJ
IN
advcl
VerbForm=Ger
write
writing
VERB
VBG
det
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
this
this
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
piece
piece
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
VerbForm=Ger
apologize
apologizing
VERB
VBG
case
for
for
ADP
IN
det:predet
all
all
DET
PDT
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Plur
way
ways
NOUN
NNS
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
have
have
AUX
VBP
acl:relcl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
wronge
wronged
VERB
VBN
iobj
Case=Acc|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
him
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (CC And) (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB when)) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP deliver) (NP (DT the) (NN letter))))) (, ,) (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD will) (VP (VB bring) (NP (PRP$ my) (JJ five-year-old) (NN daughter)) (PP (IN with) (NP (PRP me)))))) (, ,) (RB so) (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (MD can) (VP (VP (VB see) (NP (PRP$ her) (NN happiness) (CC and) (NN sweetness))) (, ,) (CC and) (VP (VB learn) (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (NP (NP (DT the) (NN chain)) (PP (IN of) (NP (NN hurt)))) (SBAR (WHNP (WDT that)) (S (VP (VBZ has) (VP (VBN been) (VP (VBN passed) (PRT (RP down)) (PP (IN from) (NP (NN generation))) (PP (IN to) (NP (NN generation))))))))) (VP (VBZ has) (ADVP (RB finally)) (VP (VBN been) (VP (VBN broken)))))))))) (. .)))
And when I deliver the letter, I will bring my five-year-old daughter with me, so he can see her happiness and sweetness, and learn that the chain of hurt that has been passed down from generation to generation has finally been broken.
cc
and
And
CCONJ
CC
advmod
PronType=Int
when
when
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
deliver
deliver
VERB
VBP
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
letter
letter
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
will
will
AUX
MD
root
VerbForm=Inf
bring
bring
VERB
VB
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
amod
Degree=Pos
five-year-old
five-year-old
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Sing
daughter
daughter
NOUN
NN
case
with
with
ADP
IN
obl
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
mark
so
so
ADV
RB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
can
can
AUX
MD
parataxis
VerbForm=Inf
see
see
VERB
VB
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Fem|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
her
her
PRON
PRP$
obj
Number=Sing
happiness
happiness
NOUN
NN
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
Number=Sing
sweetness
sweetness
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
VerbForm=Inf
learn
learn
VERB
VB
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
nsubj:pass
Number=Sing
chain
chain
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Sing
hurt
hurt
NOUN
NN
nsubj:pass
PronType=Rel
that
that
PRON
WDT
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
have
has
AUX
VBZ
aux:pass
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
be
been
AUX
VBN
acl:relcl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part|Voice=Pass
pass
passed
VERB
VBN
compound:prt
down
down
ADP
RP
case
from
from
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
generation
generation
NOUN
NN
case
to
to
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
generation
generation
NOUN
NN
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
have
has
AUX
VBZ
advmod
finally
finally
ADV
RB
aux:pass
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
be
been
AUX
VBN
ccomp
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part|Voice=Pass
break
broken
VERB
VBN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
My father and I have been separated for over two years. He was physically violent and emotionally abusive to me throughout my childhood, and I felt that I couldn't forgive him. And yet, now he is dying, unconscious and struggling to breathe through an oxygen tube after a major stroke, all I can think of is how much he loved me.  How he would hold my fringe back and kiss me on the forehead before school. How he bought me a pottery set and roller skates, although we were struggling by on just his salary, and allowed me to skate to school. How he would play chess and tennis with me, and take me to endless chess and tennis tournaments, even though I never won anything. How he would read the Guardian every day and fill in the quick crossword, but leave a few clues and praise me if I solved them. He kept every one of my Guardian columns, and every article I ever had published, even during our many estranged periods. He gave me a lot of his savings to buy a flat after I became a single mum. And he set my date of birth as the pass code on his phone.  Yet I'm ashamed to say I blamed him, often, for everything: my anorexia, my cutting, my anxiety, my depression.... He was there during the tough times, yet all I could think was that the tough times happened because of him, forgetting that the causes of events are complex, and that plenty of people who had happy childhoods have to deal with mental illness and domestic violence too.  I even stopped him from seeing my daughter, then three, the thing that brought him most happiness, because I was scared he would hurt her, and that her life would be like mine. That decision would mean he never spoke to me again.  When we spent time together in previous years, my father hugged me a lot yet never talked much. Born in 1930s America during the Depression, he was a man of few words, a silent romantic who signed his empty Valentine's cards to my mother with only his first initial. I know he thought I talked too much; ironically, I never told him what I needed to. Knowing he was old, I tried to get back in touch several times to make things right, but my mother said he didn't want to hear from me. I understand that. Why would he want to hear from the daughter who was never able to forgive him for his mistakes; who brought them up time after time, unable to accept his apologies? Who prevented him from seeing his granddaughter? Who scolded him for his faults, yet never acknowledged his numerous kindnesses?  It's much too late now. When I sit by his hospital bed and hold his large wrinkled hand, far too warm, and ask him to squeeze it if he can hear me, he doesn't. So I tell him a few of the things I should have told him when he was conscious, though it's hard to say the words: that I love him very much, and that I'm sorry about the estrangement. And it reminds me of what I've known for a long time: that my dad didn't know how to be a father to me when I was young, because his father was abusive to him as a child. His father died estranged from his son; my father is dying estranged from his daughter.  I never thought that I'd feel this broken at losing him. I fantasise that his eyes will open, and that he will be conscious again for just a few days. I will give him a letter thanking him for all the things I have remembered while writing this piece, and apologizing for all the ways I have wronged him. And when I deliver the letter, I will bring my five-year-old daughter with me, so he can see her happiness and sweetness, and learn that the chain of hurt that has been passed down from generation to generation has finally been broken.