I was brought up in the British, stiff upper lip style.
I
was
brought
up
in
the
British
,
stiff
upper
lip
style
.
Strong feelings aren't something you display in public.
Strong
feelings
are
n't
something
you
display
in
public
.
So, you can imagine that I was unprepared for the outpouring of public grief at a Chinese funeral.
So
,
you
can
imagine
that
I
was
unprepared
for
the
outpouring
of
public
grief
at
a
Chinese
funeral
.
My editorial team leader died recently after a short illness.
My
editorial
team
leader
died
recently
after
a
short
illness
.
He was 31.
He
was
31
.
The news was so unexpected that it left us all shocked and upset.
The
news
was
so
unexpected
that
it
left
us
all
shocked
and
upset
.
A female colleague burst into tears and cried piteously at her desk.
A
female
colleague
burst
into
tears
and
cried
piteously
at
her
desk
.
Somehow we got through the day's work.
Somehow
we
got
through
the
day
's
work
.
The next day was the funeral.
The
next
day
was
the
funeral
.
Our big boss stepped forward to deliver a eulogy and was soon in tears.
Our
big
boss
stepped
forward
to
deliver
a
eulogy
and
was
soon
in
tears
.
She carried on, in Chinese of course, but at the end said in English: "There will be no more deadlines for you in heaven."
She
carried
on
,
in
Chinese
of
course
,
but
at
the
end
said
in
English
:
``
There
will
be
no
more
deadlines
for
you
in
heaven
.
''
Next came a long-term colleague who also dissolved in tears but carried on with her speech despite being almost overcome by emotion.
Next
came
a
long-term
colleague
who
also
dissolved
in
tears
but
carried
on
with
her
speech
despite
being
almost
overcome
by
emotion
.
Then a close friend of the dead man paid tribute, weeping openly as he spoke.
Then
a
close
friend
of
the
dead
man
paid
tribute
,
weeping
openly
as
he
spoke
.
Sorrow is spreading.
Sorrow
is
spreading
.
Me and women were now sobbing uncontrollably.
Me
and
women
were
now
sobbing
uncontrollably
.
Finally, the man's mother, supported between two women, addressed her son in his coffin.
Finally
,
the
man
's
mother
,
supported
between
two
women
,
addressed
her
son
in
his
coffin
.
At one point, the mother almost collapsed and had to be held up.
At
one
point
,
the
mother
almost
collapsed
and
had
to
be
held
up
.
We were invited to step forward to each lay a white rose on the casket.
We
were
invited
to
step
forward
to
each
lay
a
white
rose
on
the
casket
.
Our dead colleague looked as if he was taking a nap.
Our
dead
colleague
looked
as
if
he
was
taking
a
nap
.
At the end of the service I walked away from the funeral parlor stunned at the outpouring of emotion.
At
the
end
of
the
service
I
walked
away
from
the
funeral
parlor
stunned
at
the
outpouring
of
emotion
.
In the UK, families grieve privately and then try to hold it together and not break down at a funeral.
In
the
UK
,
families
grieve
privately
and
then
try
to
hold
it
together
and
not
break
down
at
a
funeral
.
Here in China it would seem that grieving is a public affair.
Here
in
China
it
would
seem
that
grieving
is
a
public
affair
.
It strikes me that it is more cathartic to cry your eyes out than try to keep it bottled up for fear of embarrassment, which is what many of us do in the West.
It
strikes
me
that
it
is
more
cathartic
to
cry
your
eyes
out
than
try
to
keep
it
bottled
up
for
fear
of
embarrassment
,
which
is
what
many
of
us
do
in
the
West
.
Afterwards, a Chinese colleague told me that the lamenting at the funeral had been restrained by Chinese standards.
Afterwards
,
a
Chinese
colleague
told
me
that
the
lamenting
at
the
funeral
had
been
restrained
by
Chinese
standards
.
In some rural areas, she said, people used to be paid to mourn noisily.
In
some
rural
areas
,
she
said
,
people
used
to
be
paid
to
mourn
noisily
.
This struck me like something out of novel by Charles Dickens.
This
struck
me
like
something
out
of
novel
by
Charles
Dickens
.
But we have all seen on TV scenes of grief-stricken people in Gaza and the West Bank, in Afghanistan, Iraq and the relatives of victims of terrorist bombings around the world.
But
we
have
all
seen
on
TV
scenes
of
grief-stricken
people
in
Gaza
and
the
West
Bank
,
in
Afghanistan
,
Iraq
and
the
relatives
of
victims
of
terrorist
bombings
around
the
world
.
Chinese grief is no different.
Chinese
grief
is
no
different
.
I realized that it's the reserved British way of mourning that is out of step with the rest of the world.
I
realized
that
it
's
the
reserved
British
way
of
mourning
that
is
out
of
step
with
the
rest
of
the
world
.
It was our newspaper's production day.
It
was
our
newspaper
's
production
day
.
We were bussed back to the office to resume work.
We
were
bussed
back
to
the
office
to
resume
work
.
No more deadlines for our former colleague, but we had to pull together to put the newspaper to print.
No
more
deadlines
for
our
former
colleague
,
but
we
had
to
pull
together
to
put
the
newspaper
to
print
.
The boss invited the team to go out for dinner after work.
The
boss
invited
the
team
to
go
out
for
dinner
after
work
.
We relaxed, smiled, joked.
We
relaxed
,
smiled
,
joked
.
There was no mention of the funeral or our poor colleague.
There
was
no
mention
of
the
funeral
or
our
poor
colleague
.
Enough sorrow had been shed already.
Enough
sorrow
had
been
shed
already
.
We needed a break.
We
needed
a
break
.
I was brought up in the British, stiff upper lip style. Strong feelings aren't something you display in public. So, you can imagine that I was unprepared for the outpouring of public grief at a Chinese funeral.  My editorial team leader died recently after a short illness. He was 31. The news was so unexpected that it left us all shocked and upset. A female colleague burst into tears and cried piteously at her desk. Somehow we got through the day's work. The next day was the funeral.  Our big boss stepped forward to deliver a eulogy and was soon in tears. She carried on, in Chinese of course, but at the end said in English: "There will be no more deadlines for you in heaven." Next came a long-term colleague who also dissolved in tears but carried on with her speech despite being almost overcome by emotion. Then a close friend of the dead man paid tribute, weeping openly as he spoke. Sorrow is spreading. Me and women were now sobbing uncontrollably. Finally, the man's mother, supported between two women, addressed her son in his coffin. At one point, the mother almost collapsed and had to be held up. We were invited to step forward to each lay a white rose on the casket. Our dead colleague looked as if he was taking a nap. At the end of the service I walked away from the funeral parlor stunned at the outpouring of emotion.  In the UK, families grieve privately and then try to hold it together and not break down at a funeral. Here in China it would seem that grieving is a public affair. It strikes me that it is more cathartic to cry your eyes out than try to keep it bottled up for fear of embarrassment, which is what many of us do in the West.  Afterwards, a Chinese colleague told me that the lamenting at the funeral had been restrained by Chinese standards. In some rural areas, she said, people used to be paid to mourn noisily. This struck me like something out of novel by Charles Dickens. But we have all seen on TV scenes of grief-stricken people in Gaza and the West Bank, in Afghanistan, Iraq and the relatives of victims of terrorist bombings around the world. Chinese grief is no different. I realized that it's the reserved British way of mourning that is out of step with the rest of the world.  It was our newspaper's production day. We were bussed back to the office to resume work. No more deadlines for our former colleague, but we had to pull together to put the newspaper to print. The boss invited the team to go out for dinner after work. We relaxed, smiled, joked. There was no mention of the funeral or our poor colleague. Enough sorrow had been shed already. We needed a break.