If I were writing a history of my family, some of the darkest moments recorded would be those surrounding Christmas trees.
If
I
were
writing
a
history
of
my
family
,
some
of
the
darkest
moments
recorded
would
be
those
surrounding
Christmas
trees
.
One would certainly think otherwise; selecting and putting up our trees have always been filled with risk.
One
would
certainly
think
otherwise
;
selecting
and
putting
up
our
trees
have
always
been
filled
with
risk
.
For example, one afternoon dangerously close to Christmas Eve my mother bought what she thought to be a bargain, a glorious tree that was so full and tall that we could hardly get it into the house.
For
example
,
one
afternoon
dangerously
close
to
Christmas
Eve
my
mother
bought
what
she
thought
to
be
a
bargain
,
a
glorious
tree
that
was
so
full
and
tall
that
we
could
hardly
get
it
into
the
house
.
Once we did, my father immediately realized that we would have to hire a carpenter to build a stand for it.
Once
we
did
,
my
father
immediately
realized
that
we
would
have
to
hire
a
carpenter
to
build
a
stand
for
it
.
Another December, perhaps the very next one, we bought a tree earlier than we ever had before.
Another
December
,
perhaps
the
very
next
one
,
we
bought
a
tree
earlier
than
we
ever
had
before
.
We were happy with its shape and delighted that its size was manageable.
We
were
happy
with
its
shape
and
delighted
that
its
size
was
manageable
.
We easily placed it in a stand, decorated it from top to bottom, and then self-satisfiedly sat back by the fire in its soft light.
We
easily
placed
it
in
a
stand
,
decorated
it
from
top
to
bottom
,
and
then
self-satisfiedly
sat
back
by
the
fire
in
its
soft
light
.
Two or three days passed and the truth could not be hidden; we had bought a tree cut so long ago that its needles were coming off.
Two
or
three
days
passed
and
the
truth
could
not
be
hidden
;
we
had
bought
a
tree
cut
so
long
ago
that
its
needles
were
coming
off
.
There was nothing to do but undecorated it, take it down, and begin tree shopping again.
There
was
nothing
to
do
but
undecorated
it
,
take
it
down
,
and
begin
tree
shopping
again
.
Our most recent Christmas tree offered still another difficult task.
Our
most
recent
Christmas
tree
offered
still
another
difficult
task
.
When we brought it home, once again it seemed larger than it was in the great outdoors.
When
we
brought
it
home
,
once
again
it
seemed
larger
than
it
was
in
the
great
outdoors
.
To complicate matters, we had bought a new stand, one whose nuts and bolts worked more mysteriously than those of our old stands.
To
complicate
matters
,
we
had
bought
a
new
stand
,
one
whose
nuts
and
bolts
worked
more
mysteriously
than
those
of
our
old
stands
.
I persuaded two young neighbors to stop playing basketball and to help us get the tree into the house and set it correctly in the stand.
I
persuaded
two
young
neighbors
to
stop
playing
basketball
and
to
help
us
get
the
tree
into
the
house
and
set
it
correctly
in
the
stand
.
Unfortunately, no one noticed the mud on our helpers' shoes, so only after removing several reddish brown sports from the carpet were we able to discuss the question of where the lights and ornaments were stored.
Unfortunately
,
no
one
noticed
the
mud
on
our
helpers
'
shoes
,
so
only
after
removing
several
reddish
brown
sports
from
the
carpet
were
we
able
to
discuss
the
question
of
where
the
lights
and
ornaments
were
stored
.
Perhaps those who cut their own trees have tales more painful than these.
Perhaps
those
who
cut
their
own
trees
have
tales
more
painful
than
these
.
I don't care to hear them, as my family's experiences are enough to cause me to make the following suggestion: "Let's forget the tree next Christmas.
I
do
n't
care
to
hear
them
,
as
my
family
's
experiences
are
enough
to
cause
me
to
make
the
following
suggestion
:
``
Let
's
forget
the
tree
next
Christmas
.
Let's simply hang some flowers on the front door and over the mirror in the hall."
Let
's
simply
hang
some
flowers
on
the
front
door
and
over
the
mirror
in
the
hall
.
''
If I were writing a history of my family, some of the darkest moments recorded would be those surrounding Christmas trees. One would certainly think otherwise; selecting and putting up our trees have always been filled with risk.  For example, one afternoon dangerously close to Christmas Eve my mother bought what she thought to be a bargain, a glorious tree that was so full and tall that we could hardly get it into the house. Once we did, my father immediately realized that we would have to hire a carpenter to build a stand for it.  Another December, perhaps the very next one, we bought a tree earlier than we ever had before. We were happy with its shape and delighted that its size was manageable. We easily placed it in a stand, decorated it from top to bottom, and then self-satisfiedly sat back by the fire in its soft light.  Two or three days passed and the truth could not be hidden; we had bought a tree cut so long ago that its needles were coming off. There was nothing to do but undecorated it, take it down, and begin tree shopping again.  Our most recent Christmas tree offered still another difficult task. When we brought it home, once again it seemed larger than it was in the great outdoors. To complicate matters, we had bought a new stand, one whose nuts and bolts worked more mysteriously than those of our old stands. I persuaded two young neighbors to stop playing basketball and to help us get the tree into the house and set it correctly in the stand. Unfortunately, no one noticed the mud on our helpers' shoes, so only after removing several reddish brown sports from the carpet were we able to discuss the question of where the lights and ornaments were stored. Perhaps those who cut their own trees have tales more painful than these. I don't care to hear them, as my family's experiences are enough to cause me to make the following suggestion: "Let's forget the tree next Christmas. Let's simply hang some flowers on the front door and over the mirror in the hall."