"The really big concern over the last decade," according to Dr. David Whitehead, "is the relative loss of opportunities for children to engage in child-led play."
``
The
really
big
concern
over
the
last
decade
,
''
according
to
Dr.
David
Whitehead
,
``
is
the
relative
loss
of
opportunities
for
children
to
engage
in
child-led
play
.
''
That's true.
That
's
true
.
One of the exhausting aspects of modern parenting is that everything, even doing nothing, has to be purposeful.
One
of
the
exhausting
aspects
of
modern
parenting
is
that
everything
,
even
doing
nothing
,
has
to
be
purposeful
.
Now that "parenting" has become a verb--a state of doing, rather than simply being--it can fed unnatural to leave your children to their own devices.
Now
that
``
parenting
''
has
become
a
verb
--
a
state
of
doing
,
rather
than
simply
being
--
it
can
fed
unnatural
to
leave
your
children
to
their
own
devices
.
Yet it creates spaces in which good things can happen.
Yet
it
creates
spaces
in
which
good
things
can
happen
.
The psychology lecturer is responding to a survey showing that 80 percent of parents of small children feel under pressure to fill their days with "structured" activities.
The
psychology
lecturer
is
responding
to
a
survey
showing
that
80
percent
of
parents
of
small
children
feel
under
pressure
to
fill
their
days
with
``
structured
''
activities
.
This, says Dr. Whitehead, is a mistake.
This
,
says
Dr.
Whitehead
,
is
a
mistake
.
Leaving your children to play on their own or with their peers enables them to develop "self-regulation abilities", which in turn leads to better academic achievement.
Leaving
your
children
to
play
on
their
own
or
with
their
peers
enables
them
to
develop
``
self-regulation
abilities
''
,
which
in
turn
leads
to
better
academic
achievement
.
One afternoon last autumn, sitting on a bench doing no parenting at all, I suddenly felt I was getting the hang of it.
One
afternoon
last
autumn
,
sitting
on
a
bench
doing
no
parenting
at
all
,
I
suddenly
felt
I
was
getting
the
hang
of
it
.
That afternoon, my sister and I took our children to the park.
That
afternoon
,
my
sister
and
I
took
our
children
to
the
park
.
We had lots to talk about, so we sat down on a bench and drove the children away.
We
had
lots
to
talk
about
,
so
we
sat
down
on
a
bench
and
drove
the
children
away
.
After briefly complaining, the cousins wandered off and started jumping into puddles.
After
briefly
complaining
,
the
cousins
wandered
off
and
started
jumping
into
puddles
.
They jumped and jumped, and then one of them kicked some muddy water at the others.
They
jumped
and
jumped
,
and
then
one
of
them
kicked
some
muddy
water
at
the
others
.
My sister and I, deep in conversation, didn't notice this.
My
sister
and
I
,
deep
in
conversation
,
did
n't
notice
this
.
So my nephew became more adventurous.
So
my
nephew
became
more
adventurous
.
He scooped up a handful of mud and threw it on my son's head.
He
scooped
up
a
handful
of
mud
and
threw
it
on
my
son
's
head
.
My son caught his breath happily, wiped the mud out of his eyes, and threw one back.
My
son
caught
his
breath
happily
,
wiped
the
mud
out
of
his
eyes
,
and
threw
one
back
.
My nephew, who has a talent for naming things, puffed out his tiny chest and roared: "Let's play Muddikins!"
My
nephew
,
who
has
a
talent
for
naming
things
,
puffed
out
his
tiny
chest
and
roared
:
``
Let
's
play
Muddikins
!
''
The rules of Muddikins are simple.
The
rules
of
Muddikins
are
simple
.
You run around throwing mud at each other until everyone is so thickly coated that you can no longer be sure which child is whose.
You
run
around
throwing
mud
at
each
other
until
everyone
is
so
thickly
coated
that
you
can
no
longer
be
sure
which
child
is
whose
.
Nothing is learnt from it; nobody is improved.
Nothing
is
learnt
from
it
;
nobody
is
improved
.
It is pure fun, of the sort that can only happen when parents drop the reins.
It
is
pure
fun
,
of
the
sort
that
can
only
happen
when
parents
drop
the
reins
.
They did it.
They
did
it
.
"Whoa, that's so cool," said one.
``
Whoa
,
that
's
so
cool
,
''
said
one
.
"I wish my mum was like you."
``
I
wish
my
mum
was
like
you
.
''
"The really big concern over the last decade," according to Dr. David Whitehead, "is the relative loss of opportunities for children to engage in child-led play." That's true. One of the exhausting aspects of modern parenting is that everything, even doing nothing, has to be purposeful. Now that "parenting" has become a verb--a state of doing, rather than simply being--it can fed unnatural to leave your children to their own devices. Yet it creates spaces in which good things can happen. The psychology lecturer is responding to a survey showing that 80 percent of parents of small children feel under pressure to fill their days with "structured" activities. This, says Dr. Whitehead, is a mistake. Leaving your children to play on their own or with their peers enables them to develop "self-regulation abilities", which in turn leads to better academic achievement.  One afternoon last autumn, sitting on a bench doing no parenting at all, I suddenly felt I was getting the hang of it.  That afternoon, my sister and I took our children to the park. We had lots to talk about, so we sat down on a bench and drove the children away. After briefly complaining, the cousins wandered off and started jumping into puddles.  They jumped and jumped, and then one of them kicked some muddy water at the others. My sister and I, deep in conversation, didn't notice this. So my nephew became more adventurous. He scooped up a handful of mud and threw it on my son's head. My son caught his breath happily, wiped the mud out of his eyes, and threw one back. My nephew, who has a talent for naming things, puffed out his tiny chest and roared: "Let's play Muddikins!"  The rules of Muddikins are simple. You run around throwing mud at each other until everyone is so thickly coated that you can no longer be sure which child is whose. Nothing is learnt from it; nobody is improved. It is pure fun, of the sort that can only happen when parents drop the reins. They did it. "Whoa, that's so cool," said one. "I wish my mum was like you."