Musnad Ahmad 285
It was narrated that Abul-`Ajfa` as-Sulami said:
I heard ‘Umar say: Do not make women`s dowries expensive, do not make women`s dowries expensive, for had this been a sign of honour in this world or piety before Allah, the first one of you to do it would have been the Prophet (ﷺ). The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, any more than twelve Oasiyyahs [as a dowry. And a man will go to great trouble in order to offer a high dowry to his wife.
On one occasion he said: A man would pay his wife a high dowry until he feels resentment towards her and says: You cost me everything I own, even the string to tie a waterskin and hang it up. He [the narrator] said: I was a young Arab boy with a non-Arab mother, and I did not know what a `string` was. `Umar said: And another thing you say of one who is killed in your campaigns and dies that so and so was killed as a martyr, and o and so died as a martyr. But perhaps he loaded the back of his mount with gold and silver for the purpose of trading. So do not say that, rather say what the Prophet (ﷺ) (or what Muhammad) (ﷺ) said: “Whoever is killed or dies for the sake of Allah will be in Paradise.`
حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ، حَدَّثَنَا سَلَمَةُ بْنُ عَلْقَمَةَ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سِيرِينَ، قَالَ نُبِّئْتُ عَنْ أَبِي الْعَجْفَاءِ السُّلَمِيِّ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ عُمَرَ، يَقُولُ أَلَا لَا تُغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ أَلَا لَا تُغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللَّهِ كَانَ أَوْلَاكُمْ بِهَا النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مَا أَصْدَقَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلَا أُصْدِقَتْ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثِنْتَيْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُبْتَلَى بِصَدُقَةِ امْرَأَتِهِ وَقَالَ مَرَّةً وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُغْلِي بِصَدُقَةِ امْرَأَتِهِ حَتَّى تَكُونَ لَهَا عَدَاوَةٌ فِي نَفْسِهِ وَحَتَّى يَقُولَ كَلِفْتُ إِلَيْكِ عَلَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ قَالَ وَكُنْتُ غُلَامًا عَرَبِيًّا مُوَلَّدًا لَمْ أَدْرِ مَا عَلَقُ الْقِرْبَةِ قَالَ وَأُخْرَى تَقُولُونَهَا لِمَنْ قُتِلَ فِي مَغَازِيكُمْ وَمَاتَ قُتِلَ فُلَانٌ شَهِيدًا وَمَاتَ فُلَانٌ شَهِيدًا وَلَعَلَّهُ أَنْ يَكُونَ قَدْ أَوْقَرَ عَجُزَ دَابَّتِهِ أَوْ دَفَّ رَاحِلَتِهِ ذَهَبًا أَوْ وَرِقًا يَلْتَمِسُ التِّجَارَةَ لَا تَقُولُوا ذَاكُمْ وَلَكِنْ قُولُوا كَمَا قَالَ النَّبِيُّ أَوْ كَمَا قَالَ مُحَمَّدٌ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مَنْ قُتِلَ أَوْ مَاتَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ فَهُوَ فِي الْجَنَّةِ‏.‏