article: A writer and victim of date rape has revealed why she is pushing for 'yes means yes' sex contracts to become mandatory on college campuses across the country. New Yorker Amanda Chatel explained in her essay for Your Tango that adoption of the 'yes means yes' law, which defines consent as 'affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity' from each partner, is just one step in combating society's prevalent rape culture. 'As a victim of date rape, when it comes to consent I strongly feel there is no grey area,' she wrote. 'Unfortunately, at the time, I was too young and naive to realize that because I never actually said, “No,” I was a willing participant.' Inciting change: New Yorker Amanda Chatel explained in an essay that she is a victim of rape who is advocating for 'yes means yes' laws to be passed in states across the country . The 'yes means yes' law, which was first passed in California in 2014, is a spin on the old sexual assault mantra 'no means no'. The legislation declares that all colleges and universities taking financial aid funding from California must adhere to the standard for consent outlined by the law, which reiterates that a lack of resistance or objection does not imply consent - a concept that Amanda struggled with years following her sexual assault. Amanda explained for a long time she blamed herself because he 'came on strong' and she was a 'bit inebriated' 'But now, several years later, I know, more than ever, that my consent was not given, and it was rape. End of story,' she wrote. Amanda even noted that she was unable to attach the word 'rape' to what had happened to her and instead referred the assault as 'sex I didn’t want'. At the time, she said that like many women, she didn't even consider going to the police after she was raped, a mistake that she noted she will 'never make again'. According to statistics, an estimated one out of five women will be sexually assaulted during their college careers. No shame: The New Yorker wrote that she blamed herself for years after her sexual assault because never actually said 'No', even though she wasn't a willing participant . 'It’s both disheartening and disgusting that we even need a law that stipulates that a woman must be able to give consent or else it’s rape,' Amanda said of today's rape culture. In Connecticut, state officials are now considering the adoption of a similar 'yes means yes' bill. And while Amanda said the law is 'great in theory', she explained that 'we need to change the way people think of rape' before the law will prove to be effective. 'I believe more than anything is that we need to teach boys and men NOT to rape,' she said. 'We need to make them see that women and girls are not their personal playthings, that we were not put on this earth for their pleasure, and if we drink too much at a party, that we sure as hell aren't "asking for it",' she added. And at least two California lawmakers agree with her. Last month, Senate President Kevin de Leon and Assemblywoman Hannah-Beth Jackson announced that they were introducing legislation that would call for school districts with mandatory health education requirements for graduation to include sexual violence prevention as a mandatory part of the curriculum, including instruction on the recently approved 'yes means yes' law. 'If we want to prevent sexual assault, it’s important that we start early,' Ms Jackson explained in March. She continued: 'This bill will ensure that discussions about healthy relationships and consent are taking place in high school, with young women and young men, so we can help establish boundaries of acceptable behavior.'
highlights: Amanda Chatel explained that nationwide adoption of the  law is just one step in battling society's prevalent rape culture .
  The 'yes means yes' law  defines consent as 'affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity' from each partner .
  It was passed in California last year, and state officials in Connecticut are now considering the adoption of a similar 'yes means yes' bill .
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