article: As the bright, smiling face of morning TV in the Noughties Fern Britton shocked fans when she admitted to struggling with crippling depression. The mother-of-four had her first experience of depression as a child and has suffered attacks throughout her adult life. Things were so difficult at one point that she planned to crash her car into a brick wall. And in an interview with The Telegraph on Saturday the 57-year-old revealed how close she came to suicide one day after her divorce from first husband Clive Jones. Scroll down for video . Presenter Fern Britton, who suffers from depression, has revealed how close she came to suicide following her divorce from first husband Clive Jones . The presenter and author, who has been married to her second husband TV chef Phil Vickery, 53, for fifteen years, claims she knew the marriage was never right, but remembers the time after the divorce being particularly bleak. Fern, who had three children with  Clive, twins Harry and Jack, 21, and Grace, 18, and has another daughter, Winifred, 13, with Phil, said: 'I remember very clearly, when they were all little and sitting around the table, all shiny-faced and having their supper, and I'd think: "Right, you've got everything you want. Lovely! Now I'm just going to pop upstairs and kill myself." ' Meeting Phil whilst working on Ready, Steady, Cook was something of a salvation for the blonde, who finally came off anti-depressants last year but admits she is fully expecting to go back on them when she has another episode. Fern and husband Phil Vickery will celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary next month . The couple met on the TV food show Ready, Steady, Cook . At least now she has learned to recognise the signs, telling Good Housekeeping this month: 'I haven’t had an episode for a long time. I’m cross that it’s been there and that it lurks around, but I’ve started to understand it more. I reached a stage where I knew when it was coming, hurtling towards me, and I thought, don’t run away, just stand there, brace yourself, and let it happen. Because I knew it would pass. People who are going through their first or second episode don’t trust that it will pass – but it really will.' Today, as she promotes her sixth novel 'A Good Catch' Fern is happy, positive and looking forward to a bright - and Botox-free - future. Phil, 53, and Fern, 57, have four children between them . The author has declared that she has no interest in cosmetic surgery, deciding instead to grow older gracefully . She has declared that she has no interest in cosmetic surgery, deciding instead to grow older gracefully, telling Bryony Gordon: 'I know I'm never going to look the way I did when I was 25, but I know I could look very odd. So this is what 57 is, and this is what 57 looks like. 'I'm going to stop looking back and only look forward. I've got. what, 25 years left? I'm going to enjoy them. I'm going to cycle until I am 70. I'm not going to get Botox or have things done. I'm going to show my children that this is what humans do: we get older.' The keen cyclist, who starts a three-week cycle from John O'Groats to Land's End to raise money for Genesis Research Trust next week, insists that being fit is more important to her than looking younger, saying: 'My bosoms are dropping? Blah, that's life! I am vain about being as fit as I can be – not about my wrinkles. I’ve had that conversation with myself about, should I do Botox, should I do this, should I do that – and I’ve talked myself out of it. I’d prefer to be the woman I should be. I’m 57, and I look like a 57 year-old, and I’m happy.'
highlights: The TV star has suffered with episodes of depression since childhood .
  Contemplated suicide following divorce from first husband .
  Celebrating 15th wedding anniversary with husband Phil Vickery in May .
  Has just penned a sixth novel, A Good Catch .
  Says she has talked herself out of Botox, is happy to look like a 57-yr-old .
  For confidential support call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255) in the UK, or call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90, visit a local Samaritans branch, or click here .
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