We lie. It was pop at its most over-the-top and whether you love her or loathe her, Katy Perry brought her A-game.
The 15-minute slot is one of the biggest TV events of the year.
She's had pretty good reviews so far after powering through some of her biggest songs.
Never one to make a low-key entrance, Katy Perry opened the show riding a giant gold lion. Or a tiger. Some kind of big cat anyway.
She began the huge pop juggernaut of Roar.
Wearing a flame dress, she performed on the back of the cat, at one point leaning so far back we worried, a little.
The stage became a giant chessboard for song number two, Dark Horse.
Chess moves have never been so glam, with break dancing, somersaulting rooks, knights and bishops.
We presume Katy was the Queen.
Song three. Time to bring on guest number one - Lenny Kravitz.
For those who don't know much about him, he played Cinna, Katniss Everdeen's costume designer in the Hunger Games.
He's also an awesome guitarist and joined Katy for a rock version of her debut single I Kissed A Girl, complete with onstage pyrotechnics.
Anyone with an allergy to bright colours and giant mascots was in trouble at this point.
The colour was cranked up to blinding levels for Teenage Dream as Katy was joined by giant dancing palm trees, beach balls and surfboards.
The highlight? Two dancing sharks who were having ALL THE FUN.
She then brought some polka-dotted dancers on for California Gurls.
Guest number two was legendary rapper Missy Elliott.
The pair dueted on Get Ur Freak On and Work It before Katy dashed off to let Missy do Lose Control solo.
There was one final costume change for the half-time climax.
Enter Katy strapped to a giant star, sailing above the crowd for Firework.
Unsurprisingly, the song was accompanied by a giant firework display.
Katy Perry's Super Bowl halftime show: DONE.
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This year's Super Bowl half-time show was a muted affair... solemn, understated and restrained.