This term was coined by psychologist Robert Firestone to describe a phenomenon that happens all too often in new relationships: Because of defensive behaviors established due to past hurts, the individuals within a couple abandon their individual identities and interests to merge into a single unit, in the hopes that it will completely fulfill and protect them.  This causes issues because it doesn’t allow either partner to live as a unique individual within a healthy couple relationship. It fosters dependency, possessiveness, and putting the other person into a set “role” rather than accepting the challenges that come with real adult relationships.  Signs of a “fantasy bond”-based relationship include:  Difficulty in expressing interests or ideas other than those you share with your partner Relying on everyday routines for intimacy rather than emotional closeness Overusing “we” statements, speaking for the other person Defining yourself as a “role” (wife, mother, breadwinner, father) rather than developing personal goals and interests Discomfort in pursuing any activities or interests on your own, without your partner (or discomfort if your partner does these things) Particularly if you’ve been hurt in love before, it may be hard for you to feel comfortable opening up about your real interests and feelings. However, if you want to develop a healthy, happy romantic relationship, meaningful communication is essential.  Talk about your ideas, goals, and interests. The ability to share what’s most important to you with another person is one of the highlights of romantic relationships. Avoid mind-reading. Especially if you feel like you know someone well, it can be tempting to “read between the lines” when they say something, particularly if that something has upset you. For example, if your significant other forgot an important date for you, a mind-reading response would be: “You forgot this because you don’t really care what’s important to me.” If you find yourself or your significant other saying things like...

TL;DR in Indonesian:
Hindari "ikatan fantasi" saat memulai hubungan asmara. Jalinlah komunikasi yang bermakna dengan kekasih. Mintalah ia bercerita tentang diri sendiri. Jangan mengidolakan kekasih. Jadilah diri sendiri