Many people are mean to others in order to feel better about themselves.  However, this approach may not really be effective, especially if you want to be nicer to others.  You might lash out at someone, feel better in the moment, but then feel bad about yourself later for lashing out.  Other reasons that you are being mean may include:   You cannot handle your own negative emotions, so you lash out at others. Your ego feels threatened, so you are mean as a form of defense. You envy someone else’s life or accomplishments, so you want to hurt them.  You are projecting your own negative feelings about yourself on someone else. You are trying to make yourself feel unique and distinct from other people by distinguishing differences between you in a mean way. It can be difficult to determine what is a thought and what is a feeling.  In fact, the two interrelate: your thoughts affect your feelings.  Your feelings, in turn, affect your actions.  Thus, if you want to change your actions (or words), you can start by first changing your thoughts.  For example, if you think, “This guy is an idiot!” you may feel frustrated talking to him, and that will come across in your words and actions.  If, however, you think, “This person needs to learn more about the topic,” you might be more inclined to teach him, and your increased patience will come through your words. Remember that even when you feel that you cannot control your thoughts or feelings, you can always choose how to act.  Each time you speak or act, you are making a choice about what words and actions you use. If you are speaking to someone and feel as though you are about to be mean to them, give yourself time to think before you respond.  You’re more likely to give the person a productive response (and less likely to be mean) if you allow yourself to use reason first.  If you are feeling particularly angry, resentful, hurt, or sad, you may want to wait to talk to others.  These emotions can stand in the way of positive communication and cause you to lash out at...

===
Write a summary of the previous text in Chinese:
思考自己刻薄待人的原因。 清楚自己的想法、感受和行为是相互关联的。 在说话前多控制下情绪。 记录“友善待人”日记帐。 培养幽默感。 晚上休息好。 在潜在压力巨大的事件或交谈发生前，先进行冥想。