It is not normal to be afraid of your partner or his temper. If you are just beginning a relationship and you are afraid of your partner, you should take immediate steps to get out. The longer an abusive relationship goes on, the worse the abuse gets. The victim, despite the escalating abuse, usually finds it more difficult to leave. Do you feel guilty a lot of the time? Do you feel as though you are somehow failing your new partner, or you’re not good enough? Sometimes guilt is completely self-created, but abusers are great about manipulating their victims into feeling guilty. This is one of the tools that abusers use to keep victims in a relationship.  If your guilt is coming completely from within, you may want to seek therapy to address the underlying cause of the guilt. If you are being manipulated or talked into feeling guilty, your partner may be subtly controlling your thoughts and actions. Some victims of abuse will feel that they have to ask permission of their partner before they do anything. If you find yourself only doing what your partner wants to do or asking him if it’s okay for you to go do something, you may be turning into a victim. Note that asking for permission to do something is different from communicating about how you spend your time.  You can communicate and agree on what to do without losing control of your own actions. It can be easy to get swept up into a new relationship, but if you feel that you are losing touch with who you were before your relationship started, take a step back. You should be able to incorporate a new relationship into your life without losing touch with your friends and letting go of the things you enjoyed doing before you met your new partner.

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