Below are some warning signs that may let you know that you are in an abusive relationship. If there is a person who is isolating you, controlling you, or showing signs of extreme jealousy, you should seek help.  If the person refuses to let you go out places because he is worried that you will meet someone else. If the person puts down your friends or family often because he wants your full devotion. If the person checks in with you often to monitor what you are doing. If the person often questions you about your activities. If the person is checking your cell phone, web history, email exchanges etc.. If you are unsure whether you or someone you know is a victim of abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. This hotline is free and confidential and can help you determine whether you are suffering from abuse. Ask your partner when and where would be a good time to have a conversation. If you can, try to suggest a calm, quiet place where you can talk freely without distractions. Sit somewhere comfortable where you can face each other. Make sure that distractions such as the television, cell phones, laptops, tablets, etc. are all on silent and put away. Again, talk about your feelings using “I statements.” Communicate the behavior that is bothering you, and how you feel. While you should use I statements to discuss specific instances of jealousy, you also may want to talk about when you remember noticing these patterns and what you think those patterns mean for your relationship. For example, you can say “Because I had a boyfriend who was jealous before, I felt stressed and alarmed when I read your text asking who I was with.” When you are describing why you feel a certain way, talk about why you are feeling a certain way in terms of your memories, expectations, understandings, hopes, and interpretations of the situation. Use sentence stems like “I imagined...” “I understand that...” or “I wanted to...” to help you communicate clearly to your partner what is going on with you. For...

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