Defensiveness not only leads to out of control emotions, it also makes people see you as too emotional. You may feel defensive if you feel stressed, frustrated, or personally attacked. However, it's important to listen to the opinions of others, especially if they're given constructively, without taking them personally. You can cope with defensiveness by reducing the threat in the situation and remaining curious about the thoughts of others. Here are signs of defensiveness:  Refusing to listen to negative feedback Making excuses for failures Passing blame Crossing your arms to shut people out Smiling and nodding to get the person to stop talking Listing reasons why you're right without talking to others Ignoring feedback from others Using sarcasm or criticism of others to deflect from criticism about yourself Your triggers are the activities, people, places, things, or events that consistently bring out particular emotions in you. Once you know your triggers, you can plan for them and mentally prepare yourself. For instance, let's say your sister makes you angry every time you see her. Before the next family gathering, you might engage in relaxing self care before you go, then plan how you will take breaks from your sister throughout the day. You might make plans with another relative to go do something, or you might plan to leave and pick up a dish. Limit how much time you spend with her, and plan a way to leave early, if necessary. If you can tell that someone is bothering you just to egg you on, take a deep breath and stay calm. Speak calmly and refuse to let them get to you. When you maintain your cool, the person egging you on will become frustrated and eventually stop.  When you feel ready to address them, first calmly tell them what you’re feeling. Say something like, “I get frustrated when I feel like you’re just trying to get a rise out of me.” Then, address the issue at hand and ask them for their thoughts on it, then listen and respond to what they’re saying. For example, you could say, “Let’s...

TL;DR in Vietnamese:
Học cách nhận diện sự phòng vệ của bạn và người khác. Chuẩn bị tinh thần để đối phó với những tác nhân kích động cảm xúc. Không làm gì cả khi ai đó cố tình khiến bạn bực dọc. Thư giãn khi bạn giận dữ hoặc buồn phiền. Thử làm ngược với những gì bạn thường làm. Rời khỏi tình huống khiến bạn có cảm xúc tiêu cực.