One of the best ways to calm down if you’re already feeling stressed is to stop interacting with the stressor, if possible. Sometimes, even taking a few seconds before you head back into the situation can be enough to help you cool down.  Try counting to ten, or taking 3-5 deep breaths before you reply in a heated conversation or situation. Take a break. For example, if an argument with your spouse is getting heated, stop and excuse yourself for a moment by saying something like, “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now. I need to take a 15-minute break before we continue discussing this.” Go to a different place, focus on breathing deeply, and recite a calming mantra, such as “I can handle this calmly. I can do this.” When we’re stressed, sometimes our bodies interpret the stress as an attack and kick us into “fight or flight mode.” This stimulates the release of hormones like adrenaline, which constrict your blood vessels, make your breathing rapid and shallow, and boost your heart rate. Over time, this panic response can become a habit for your brain in what’s known as “automatic reactivity.”  Slowing down and focusing on the individual physical responses you’re experiencing can help you learn to identify what it feels like when you’re stressed to the max. Studies also show that this conscious process of noticing what’s going on in your body can help retrain your brain’s automatic habits.  Notice each thing that is going on in your body but try to avoid judging it. For example, if you’re worried about doing well on a final exam that’s in just a few minutes, you might notice to yourself, “My face feels hot and flushed. My heart is beating very fast. My palms feel sweaty. I feel nauseated.” Try to keep your noticing these things as neutral as possible. When your body enters “fight or flight mode,” your sympathetic nervous system can seriously mess with your breathing. You may find it difficult to breathe when you’re stressed, but it’s important to focus on taking some long, even breaths. This will restore...

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