Sometimes we may blame others instead of looking at how we contribute to our self-destructive behaviors. It can be difficult dealing with underlying pain due to  a difficult childhood or a difficult marriage where abuse patterns are prevalent, but we can take control of our own lives by addressing our emotional difficulties, helping ourselves, and overcoming our addictions. Our thoughts tend to be linked to our feelings and behaviors. In order words, our perceptions of ourselves and the world dictate how we feel and act.  These ideas are central to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a type of treatment that is commonly used to treat self-destructive behaviors.  Write down the thoughts that you associate with each of your self-destructive behaviors. Ask yourself, “What do I think right before I do this? What thoughts influence and maintain this behavior?” For example, if alcohol use is the problem, one might think, “I'll just have one drink. I really need this drink. I deserve to drink. Nothing bad will happen.” These are the thoughts that encourage a person to consume alcohol. Acknowledge your negative thinking habits. Some of these might include: catastrophizing (thinking the worst will happen), over-generalizing (also known as black and white thinking, where one tends to think something is either all good or all bad), mind-reading (thinking you know what others are thinking), and predicting the future (thinking you know what will happen). For instance, if you believe that another person is thinking something bad about you, this could result in you feeling depressed or angry, which could trigger self-destructive behaviors. If you modify this thinking you can prevent the negative emotion and behavior. If we change our thoughts, our feelings and behaviors will follow. Once you have a complete list of the thoughts, you can begin to challenge these thoughts when they come up. Keep a thought diary.  Identify the situation, feeling, and thought. Then identify ideas that support the thought, and ideas that do not...

TL;DR in Vietnamese:
Chịu trách nhiệm. Xác định khuôn khổ tư duy vô ích. Thay đổi suy nghĩ gây hại cho chính mình. Không ngừng luyện tập.