feat_summary_path: finished_summaries/shmoop/Twelfth Night, or What You Will/section_4_part_0.txt
feat_book_id: Twelfth Night, or What You Will.act 1.scene 5
feat_summary_id: act 1, scene 5
feat_summary: {"name": "Act 1, Scene 5", "url": "https://web.archive.org/web/20210415161814/https://www.shmoop.com/study-guides/literature/twelfth-night/summary/act-1-scene-5", "summary": "Over at Olivia's place, Maria and Feste the Clown goof around, talking trash. Feste makes a dirty joke about how \"well hung\" he is when Maria tells him that Olivia will literally hang him because he hasn't shown up to work in such a long time. Olivia enters and orders her servants to \"Take the fool away.\" Feste responds by saying something like, \"Hey--didn't you hear Olivia say take the fool away? Take her away already.\" Olivia is totally amused, but pretends she's not, so Feste will have to convince her that he should be allowed to stay and make her laugh. Then Feste makes a crack about why Olivia really is a fool--she's wasting her time mourning for a dead brother who's in a better place , while she mopes around in her crazy, all black get-up. Malvolio asks Olivia why she lets Feste hang around. Malvolio claims that Feste isn't really that funny and, besides, he saw some other comedian totally clown him the other day. Olivia tells Malvolio to beat it--he's a bitter jerk if he doesn't see how great Feste is. Maria enters then with news that there's some dumb kid at the gate who wants to talk to Olivia. He's not taking \"no\" for an answer and Maria doesn't know what to do. Olivia tells Malvolio to go to the gate and say she's sick or busy or whatever. The kid should hit the road ASAP because she's not in the mood to talk. Feste makes a random joke about how brainless Sir Toby Belch is, just as Olivia's uncle enters the room. Olivia then takes Toby to task for being a drunk and spending all his time partying. She also asks him about who's at the gate. Toby gives her a drunken answer that basically amounts to, \"Don't know, don't care,\" and staggers out. Olivia sends Feste to look after him. Malvolio reenters the room and confirms that, yep, there's an annoying kid at the gate who says he's not going anywhere until he sees Olivia. Olivia asks what the messenger is like and Malvolio says that he doesn't seem old enough to be a man or young enough to be a boy. The kid also speaks like a \"shrew.\" Intrigued, Olivia lets the kid inside, but not before she covers her face with her black veil. \"Cesario\" enters the room and asks which one of the lovely ladies is Olivia--\"he's\" got to deliver a message from the Duke. Olivia's not interested in the Duke, but the kid is intriguing so she chats him up. \"Cesario\" says \"he's\" got this whole message memorized, so Olivia should just please pipe down and let \"him\" deliver it. Olivia's not interested in Duke Orsino's cliche attempts to sweet talk her, so she toys with \"Cesario\" for a while and asks why he was so lippy when he was out at the gate. \"Cesario\" insists that \"he\" needs to speak to Olivia alone so he can deliver his private message. \"Cesario\" tries to deliver the memorized speech again, but Olivia cuts \"him\" off and mocks the Duke's little love letter. \"Cesario\" asks to see Olivia's face and Olivia removes her veil. \"Cesario\" says that Olivia is gorgeous--she should get married and have some good looking kids with Orsino. Exasperated, Olivia says that the Duke already knows she's not into him. He's nice and all, and rich, and handsome, but he needs to learn to take \"no\" for an answer. \"Cesario\" says that doesn't make any sense. Then Olivia asks \"Cesario\" what he would do if he loved her and \"Cesario\" says \"he\" would stand at Olivia's gate and sing love poetry until Olivia took pity on \"him.\" Olivia is totally smitten when she hears this and she asks \"Cesario\" about his parentage, to which \"Cesario\" replies that \"he\" is well-born. Olivia tells \"Cesario\" to go back to Orsino and tell him to quit bothering her. Then Cesario should come back and tell Olivia what the Duke has to say about that. Olivia tries to give \"Cesario\" a few coins for his trouble, but \"Cesario\" tells her to keep her money. When \"Cesario\" leaves, Olivia says \"Cesario\" is a total dream-boat. Malvolio enters the room and Olivia lies and says that \"Cesario\" gave her a ring from the Duke. She says she doesn't want it so Malvolio should run after \"Cesario\" and return the trinket, ASAP. Olivia has apparently forgotten about her quest to mourn for her dead brother. She tells us that \"fate\" has brought \"Cesario\" to her, so she'll let whatever happens happen.", "analysis": ""}
text: SCENE V.
  
  A Room in OLIVIA'S House.
  
  [Enter MARIA and CLOWN.]
  
  MARIA.
  Nay; either tell me where thou hast been, or I will not open
  my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse: my
  lady will hang thee for thy absence.
  
  CLOWN.
  Let her hang me: he that is well hanged in this world needs
  to fear no colours.
  
  MARIA.
  Make that good.
  
  CLOWN.
  He shall see none to fear.
  
  MARIA.
  A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where that saying was
  born, of, I fear no colours.
  
  CLOWN.
  Where, good Mistress Mary?
  
  MARIA.
  In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.
  
  CLOWN.
  Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those that are
  fools, let them use their talents.
  
  MARIA.
  Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent: or to be
  turned away; is not that as good as a hanging to you?
  
  CLOWN.
  Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage; and for turning
  away, let summer bear it out.
  
  MARIA.
  You are resolute, then?
  
  CLOWN.
  Not so, neither: but I am resolved on two points.
  
  MARIA.
  That if one break, the other will hold; or if both break,
  your gaskins fall.
  
  CLOWN.
  Apt, in good faith, very apt! Well, go thy way; if Sir Toby
  would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eve's flesh
  as any in Illyria.
  
  MARIA.
  Peace, you rogue; no more o' that; here comes my lady: make
  your excuse wisely; you were best.
  
  [Exit.]
  
  [Enter OLIVIA and MALVOLIO.]
  
  CLOWN.
  Wit, and't be thy will, put me into good fooling! Those wits
  that think they have thee do very oft prove fools; and I, that am
  sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man. For what says
  Quinapalus? Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.--God bless
  thee, lady!
  
  OLIVIA.
  Take the fool away.
  
  CLOWN.
  Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Go to, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you: besides, you
  grow dishonest.
  
  CLOWN.
  Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel will amend:
  for give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry; bid the
  dishonest man mend himself: if he mend, he is no longer
  dishonest; if he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Anything
  that's mended is but patched; virtue that transgresses is but
  patched with sin, and sin that amends is but patched with virtue.
  If that this simple syllogism will serve, so; if it will not,
  what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but calamity, so
  beauty's a flower:--the lady bade take away the fool; therefore,
  I say again, take her away.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Sir, I bade them take away you.
  
  CLOWN.
  Misprision in the highest degree!--Lady, Cucullus non facit
  monachum; that's as much to say, I wear not motley in my
  brain. Good madonna, give me leave to prove you a fool.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Can you do it?
  
  CLOWN.
  Dexteriously, good madonna.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Make your proof.
  
  CLOWN.
  I must catechize you for it, madonna.
  Good my mouse of virtue, answer me.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Well, sir, for want of other idleness, I'll 'bide your proof.
  
  CLOWN.
  Good madonna, why mourn'st thou?
  
  OLIVIA.
  Good fool, for my brother's death.
  
  CLOWN.
  I think his soul is in hell, madonna.
  
  OLIVIA.
  I know his soul is in heaven, fool.
  
  CLOWN.
  The more fool you, madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul
  being in heaven.--Take away the fool, gentlemen.
  
  OLIVIA.
  What think you of this fool, Malvolio? doth he not mend?
  
  MALVOLIO.
  Yes; and shall do, till the pangs of death shake him.
  Infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the better fool.
  
  CLOWN.
  God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better
  increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn that I am no fox;
  but he will not pass his word for twopence that you are no fool.
  
  OLIVIA.
  How say you to that, Malvolio?
  
  MALVOLIO.
  I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a barren
  rascal; I saw him put down the other day with an ordinary fool
  that has no more brain than a stone. Look you now, he's out of
  his guard already; unless you laugh and minister occasion to him,
  
  he is gagged. I protest I take these wise men that crow so at
  these set kind of fools, no better than the fools' zanies.
  
  OLIVIA.
  O, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste with a
  distempered appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free
  disposition, is to take those things for bird-bolts that you deem
  cannon bullets. There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he
  do nothing but rail; nor no railing in known discreet man, though
  he do nothing but reprove.
  
  CLOWN.
  Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou speakest well of
  fools!
  
  [Re-enter MARIA.]
  
  MARIA.
  Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much desires
  to speak with you.
  
  OLIVIA.
  From the Count Orsino, is it?
  
  MARIA.
  I know not, madam; 'tis a fair young man, and well attended.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Who of my people hold him in delay?
  
  MARIA.
  Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Fetch him off, I pray you; he speaks nothing but madman.
  Fie on him!
  
  [Exit MARIA]
  
  Go you, Malvolio: if it be a suit from the count, I am sick, or
  not at home; what you will to dismiss it.
  
  [Exit MALVOLIO.]
  
  Now you see, sir, how your fooling grows old, and people dislike
  it.
  
  CLOWN.
  Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if thy eldest son should
  be a fool: whose skull Jove cram with brains, for here he comes--
  one of thy kin, has a most weak pia mater.
  
  [Enter SIR TOBY BELCH.]
  
  OLIVIA.
  By mine honour, half drunk!--What is he at the gate, cousin?
  
  SIR TOBY.
  A gentleman.
  
  OLIVIA.
  A gentleman? What gentleman?
  
  SIR TOBY.
  'Tis a gentleman here.--A plague o' these pickle-herrings!--How
  now, sot?
  
  CLOWN.
  Good Sir Toby,--
  
  OLIVIA.
  Cousin, cousin, how have you come so early by this lethargy?
  
  SIR TOBY.
  Lechery! I defy lechery. There's one at the gate.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Ay, marry; what is he?
  
  SIR TOBY.
  Let him be the devil an he will, I care not: give me
  faith, say I. Well, it's all one.
  
  [Exit.]
  
  OLIVIA.
  What's a drunken man like, fool?
  
  CLOWN.
  Like a drowned man, a fool, and a madman: one draught above
  heat makes him a fool; the second mads him; and a third drowns
  him.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Go thou and seek the coroner, and let him sit o' my coz;
  for he's in the third degree of drink; he's drowned: go, look
  after him.
  
  CLOWN.
  He is but mad yet, madonna; and the fool shall look to the
  madman.
  
  [Exit CLOWN.]
  
  [Re-enter MALVOLIO.]
  
  MALVOLIO.
  Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak with you. I
  told him you were sick; he takes on him to understand so much,
   and therefore comes to speak with you; I told him you were
  asleep; he seems to have a foreknowledge of that too, and
  therefore comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him,
  lady? he's fortified against any denial.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Tell him, he shall not speak with me.
  
  MALVOLIO.
  Has been told so; and he says he'll stand at your door
  like a sheriff's post, and be the supporter of a bench, but he'll
  speak with you.
  
  OLIVIA.
  What kind of man is he?
  
  MALVOLIO.
  Why, of mankind.
  
  OLIVIA.
  What manner of man?
  
  MALVOLIO.
  Of very ill manner; he'll speak with you, will you or no.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Of what personage and years is he?
  
  MALVOLIO.
  Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for a boy;
  as a squash is before 'tis a peascod, or a codling, when 'tis
  almost an apple: 'tis with him e'en standing water, between boy
  and man. He is very well-favoured, and he speaks very shrewishly;
  one would think his mother's milk were scarce out of him.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Let him approach. Call in my gentlewoman.
  
  MALVOLIO.
  Gentlewoman, my lady calls.
  
  [Exit.]
  
  [Re-enter MARIA.]
  
  OLIVIA.
  Give me my veil; come, throw it o'er my face;
  We'll once more hear Orsino's embassy.
  
  [Enter VIOLA.]
  
  VIOLA.
  The honourable lady of the house, which is she?
  
  OLIVIA.
  Speak to me; I shall answer for her. Your will?
  
  VIOLA.
  Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable beauty,--I pray you,
  tell me if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her: I
  would be loath to cast away my speech; for, besides that it is
  excellently well penned, I have taken great pains to con it. Good
  beauties, let me sustain no scorn; I am very comptible, even to
  the least sinister usage.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Whence came you, sir?
  
  VIOLA.
  I can say little more than I have studied, and that
  question's out of my part. Good gentle one, give me modest
  assurance, if you be the lady of the house, that I may proceed in
  my speech.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Are you a comedian?
  
  VIOLA.
  No, my profound heart: and yet, by the very fangs of malice
  I swear, I am not that I play. Are you the lady of the house?
  
  OLIVIA.
  If I do not usurp myself, I am.
  
  VIOLA.
  Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp yourself; for
  what is yours to bestow is not yours to reserve. But this is from
  my commission: I will on with my speech in your praise, and then
  show you the heart of my message.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Come to what is important in't: I forgive you the praise.
  
  VIOLA.
  Alas, I took great pains to study it, and 'tis poetical.
  
  OLIVIA.
  It is the more like to be feigned; I pray you keep it in. I
  heard you were saucy at my gates; and allowed your approach,
  rather to wonder at you than to hear you. If you be not mad, be
  gone; if you have reason, be brief: 'tis not that time of moon
  with me to make one in so skipping a dialogue.
  
  MARIA.
  Will you hoist sail, sir? here lies your way.
  
  VIOLA.
  No, good swabber; I am to hull here a little longer.--
  Some mollification for your giant, sweet lady.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Tell me your mind.
  
  VIOLA.
  I am a messenger.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Sure, you have some hideous matter to deliver, when the
  courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your office.
  
  VIOLA.
  It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture of war, no
  taxation of homage; I hold the olive in my hand: my words are as
  full of peace as matter.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Yet you began rudely. What are you? what would you?
  
  VIOLA.
  The rudeness that hath appeared in me have I learned from my
  entertainment. What I am and what I would are as secret as
  maidenhead: to your ears, divinity; to any other's, profanation.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Give us the place alone: we will hear this divinity.
  
  [Exit MARIA.]
  
  Now, sir, what is your text?
  
  VIOLA.
  Most sweet lady,--
  
  OLIVIA.
  A comfortable doctrine, and much may be said of it.
  Where lies your text?
  
  VIOLA.
  In Orsino's bosom.
  
  OLIVIA.
  In his bosom? In what chapter of his bosom?
  
  VIOLA.
  To answer by the method, in the first of his heart.
  
  OLIVIA.
  O, I have read it; it is heresy. Have you no more to say?
  
  VIOLA.
  Good madam, let me see your face.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Have you any commission from your lord to negotiate with my
  face? you are now out of your text: but we will draw the curtain
  and show you the picture. Look you, sir, such a one I was this
  present. Is't not well done?
  
  [Unveiling.]
  
  VIOLA.
  Excellently done, if God did all.
  
  OLIVIA.
  'Tis in grain, sir; 'twill endure wind and weather.
  
  VIOLA.
  'Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white
  Nature's own sweet and cunning hand laid on:
  Lady, you are the cruel'st she alive,
  If you will lead these graces to the grave,
  And leave the world no copy.
  
  OLIVIA.
  O, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted; I will give out
  divers schedules of my beauty. It shall be inventoried; and every
  particle and utensil labelled to my will: as, item, two lips
  indifferent red; item, two grey eyes with lids to them; item, one
  neck, one chin, and so forth. Were you sent hither to praise me?
  
  VIOLA.
  I see you what you are: you are too proud;
  But, if you were the devil, you are fair.
  My lord and master loves you. O, such love
  Could be but recompens'd though you were crown'd
  The nonpareil of beauty!
  
  OLIVIA.
  How does he love me?
  
  VIOLA.
  With adorations, fertile tears,
  With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Your lord does know my mind; I cannot love him:
  Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble,
  Of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth;
  In voices well divulged, free, learn'd, and valiant,
  And, in dimension and the shape of nature,
  A gracious person: but yet I cannot love him;
  He might have took his answer long ago.
  
  VIOLA.
  If I did love you in my master's flame,
  With such a suffering, such a deadly life,
  In your denial I would find no sense,
  I would not understand it.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Why, what would you?
  
  VIOLA.
  Make me a willow cabin at your gate,
  And call upon my soul within the house;
  Write loyal cantons of contemned love,
  And sing them loud, even in the dead of night;
  Holla your name to the reverberate hills,
  And make the babbling gossip of the air
  Cry out Olivia! O, you should not rest
  Between the elements of air and earth,
  But you should pity me.
  
  OLIVIA.
  You might do much. What is your parentage?
  
  VIOLA.
  Above my fortunes, yet my state is well: I am a gentleman.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Get you to your lord;
  I cannot love him: let him send no more;
  Unless, perchance, you come to me again,
  To tell me how he takes it. Fare you well:
  I thank you for your pains: spend this for me.
  
  VIOLA.
  I am no fee'd post, lady; keep your purse;
  My master, not myself, lacks recompense.
  Love make his heart of flint that you shall love;
  And let your fervour, like my master's, be
  Placed in contempt! Farewell, fair cruelty.
  
  [Exit.]
  
  OLIVIA.
  What is your parentage?
  'Above my fortunes, yet my state is well:
  I am a gentleman.'--I'll be sworn thou art;
  Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions, and spirit,
  Do give thee five-fold blazon. Not too fast:--soft, soft!
  Unless the master were the man.--How now?
  Even so quickly may one catch the plague?
  Methinks I feel this youth's perfections
  With an invisible and subtle stealth
  To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be.--
  What, ho, Malvolio!--
  
  [Re-enter MALVOLIO.]
  
  MALVOLIO.
  Here, madam, at your service.
  
  OLIVIA.
  Run after that same peevish messenger,
  The county's man: he left this ring behind him,
  Would I or not; tell him I'll none of it.
  Desire him not to flatter with his lord,
  Nor hold him up with hopes; I am not for him:
  If that the youth will come this way to-morrow,
  I'll give him reasons for't. Hie thee, Malvolio.
  
  MALVOLIO.
  Madam, I will.
  
  [Exit.]
  
  OLIVIA.
  I do I know not what: and fear to find
  Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind.
  Fate, show thy force. Ourselves we do not owe:
  What is decreed must be; and be this so!
  
  [Exit.]
  
  
  
  
  
feat_summary_name: Act 1, Scene 5
target: Over at Olivia's place, Maria and Feste the Clown goof around, talking trash. Feste makes a dirty joke about how "well hung" he is when Maria tells him that Olivia will literally hang him because he hasn't shown up to work in such a long time. Olivia enters and orders her servants to "Take the fool away." Feste responds by saying something like, "Hey--didn't you hear Olivia say take the fool away? Take her away already." Olivia is totally amused, but pretends she's not, so Feste will have to convince her that he should be allowed to stay and make her laugh. Then Feste makes a crack about why Olivia really is a fool--she's wasting her time mourning for a dead brother who's in a better place , while she mopes around in her crazy, all black get-up. Malvolio asks Olivia why she lets Feste hang around. Malvolio claims that Feste isn't really that funny and, besides, he saw some other comedian totally clown him the other day. Olivia tells Malvolio to beat it--he's a bitter jerk if he doesn't see how great Feste is. Maria enters then with news that there's some dumb kid at the gate who wants to talk to Olivia. He's not taking "no" for an answer and Maria doesn't know what to do. Olivia tells Malvolio to go to the gate and say she's sick or busy or whatever. The kid should hit the road ASAP because she's not in the mood to talk. Feste makes a random joke about how brainless Sir Toby Belch is, just as Olivia's uncle enters the room. Olivia then takes Toby to task for being a drunk and spending all his time partying. She also asks him about who's at the gate. Toby gives her a drunken answer that basically amounts to, "Don't know, don't care," and staggers out. Olivia sends Feste to look after him. Malvolio reenters the room and confirms that, yep, there's an annoying kid at the gate who says he's not going anywhere until he sees Olivia. Olivia asks what the messenger is like and Malvolio says that he doesn't seem old enough to be a man or young enough to be a boy. The kid also speaks like a "shrew." Intrigued, Olivia lets the kid inside, but not before she covers her face with her black veil. "Cesario" enters the room and asks which one of the lovely ladies is Olivia--"he's" got to deliver a message from the Duke. Olivia's not interested in the Duke, but the kid is intriguing so she chats him up. "Cesario" says "he's" got this whole message memorized, so Olivia should just please pipe down and let "him" deliver it. Olivia's not interested in Duke Orsino's cliche attempts to sweet talk her, so she toys with "Cesario" for a while and asks why he was so lippy when he was out at the gate. "Cesario" insists that "he" needs to speak to Olivia alone so he can deliver his private message. "Cesario" tries to deliver the memorized speech again, but Olivia cuts "him" off and mocks the Duke's little love letter. "Cesario" asks to see Olivia's face and Olivia removes her veil. "Cesario" says that Olivia is gorgeous--she should get married and have some good looking kids with Orsino. Exasperated, Olivia says that the Duke already knows she's not into him. He's nice and all, and rich, and handsome, but he needs to learn to take "no" for an answer. "Cesario" says that doesn't make any sense. Then Olivia asks "Cesario" what he would do if he loved her and "Cesario" says "he" would stand at Olivia's gate and sing love poetry until Olivia took pity on "him." Olivia is totally smitten when she hears this and she asks "Cesario" about his parentage, to which "Cesario" replies that "he" is well-born. Olivia tells "Cesario" to go back to Orsino and tell him to quit bothering her. Then Cesario should come back and tell Olivia what the Duke has to say about that. Olivia tries to give "Cesario" a few coins for his trouble, but "Cesario" tells her to keep her money. When "Cesario" leaves, Olivia says "Cesario" is a total dream-boat. Malvolio enters the room and Olivia lies and says that "Cesario" gave her a ring from the Duke. She says she doesn't want it so Malvolio should run after "Cesario" and return the trinket, ASAP. Olivia has apparently forgotten about her quest to mourn for her dead brother. She tells us that "fate" has brought "Cesario" to her, so she'll let whatever happens happen.