If Anyone Deserves a Shrine it’s this guy…

January 21, 2011

Me Brandy's Favorite Things, Funny, Pop Culture, TV, Weird 80s, Decatur Square, Homegrown, Mr. T, The A Team, Weird shrines 1 Comment My New Favorite Thing: Steven Slater, The Jet Blue Flight Attendant

August 12, 2010

Me Brandy's Favorite Things, Drinking, Funny, Weird, Work and career Beers, Brandy's Favorite Things, funny, Jet Blue flight attendant, Steven Slater, work and career Leave a comment

I love this guy!!!

Seriously, I do.

And its not because he’s a hero (he’s not.) Or because he stuck it to the man (he didn’t.)

It’s fantastic because this is an example of overreacting at its finest…and it is absolutely hilarious. You can’t storm out of your office the same way anymore. Simply stomping out with expletives and flipping over a desk won’t cut it. This guy raised the bar. With two beers and an inflatable slide Steven Slater set a new standard. This guy cussed out a passenger over the intercom,  slid down the emergency inflatable slide  and then went home.

I wish I had been on this flight. I would have been cheering him on all the way.

Let’s reconstruct his steps, shall we?

1. Idiotic passenger fighting to get massive bag in tiny overhead container and holding up the flight. Who of us has not experienced this and wanted to scream?

2. He tells her to sit down, she refuses they argue.

3. At some point the bag falls and hits him on the head. (Hilarity begins)

4. They argue some more, because she won’t apologize and some point she calls him a MFer or to F off or something like that

5. He snaps

6. Old boy jumps on the intercom and tells the lady “F*** you,” “he’s had a great career” and that “he’s done.”

7. He proceeds to deploy the inflatable slide, grabs a couple beers, goes down the slide and heads home.

You can’t even make up stuff this fantastic.

Old Navy flip flops and the worst dates ever

March 31, 2010

Me Drinking, Food and Drink, Relationships, Taboo, Weird Atlanta, cheating, dating, dating sites, Drinking, drunk, ex-girlfriends, going dutch, obnoxious, Old Navy, Relationships, selling drugs, stabbing, stealing cars 1 Comment A pair of sandles like these play a big part in one of my worst dates ever

My really horrible date this weekend inspired me to compile a list of my  most heinous dating offenses. These are all true by the way and in no particular order. (I’m currently single and no longer dating any of these guys)

…is gonna start dating ugly guys again

December 26, 2009

Me Relationships, Weight and Body Image, Weird dating, hot guys, self esteem, ugly guys 1 Comment Could Flavor Flav be my next boyfriend?

I’ve got a problem. I’m dating a sexy guy. Really sexy.  He is absolutely the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen and he is dating… me. Me, the chubby girl with the gap in her teeth, the hammer toes, and poochy belly.

I know what you’re thinking ” you poor thing, you get to have sex with a hot guy,  boo hoo (totally dripping with sarcasm)” But the truth is I’ve never dated anyone this hot and I’m totally insecure. Being with a really good looking person makes me feel…I don’t know…kind of ugly.

I’m constantly thinking you could have anyone why would you pick me? I’m constantly thinking that he’s gonna find someone better looking and drop me like a hot potato.

I’ve shared these thoughts with him and he assures me that he is very happy with me. He compliments me constantly and tells me that just because he gets female attention doesn’t mean he is interested. The crazy thing is he’s insecure that someone is going to steal me from him. Wow! I broke it off with him and he campaigned to get me back. Me.. the chubby girl with the gap teeth, hammer toes, and poochy belly.

That’s why I dated ugly guys I never felt like I had to compete. I always felt like they were lucky to have me. I shouldn’t say they were ugly, they were all cute to me. I’m a thrift store queen I can find the treasure in any trash. Plus I’m usually attracted to some other quality like one guy who was really smart, and others who could make me laugh.

Has anyone else encountered this problem? Does anyone else date ugly guys? Any suggestions for me.

…is admitting she has a problem.

December 21, 2009

Me Brandy's Book Reviews, Inspiration and Motivation, Weird "Stop Clutter From Stealing Your Life", Brandy's Book Reviews, clutterers, hoarding, Mike Nelson Leave a comment

Yesterday I spent the entire day  hostage at home. Not by choice, but because in a purely genius move I misplaced my keys.

I’m not kidding.

I spent an entire day in my house looking for keys. I could not leave my house because I couldn’t lock my door. I couldn’t leave the door unlocked because my roommate already wants me out and I’m pretty sure if I left the house I probably would not be able to get back in. And without me, there would be no one to care for my massive shoe and clothing collection. (Priorities, right?)

I’m making light of this but its symptomatic of a real problem. I turned the bed upside down. I checked all my pockets. I retraced my steps. I even went through the trash.

The funny thing is, days before  I’d finished reading  Mike Nelson’s book “Stop Clutter from Stealing Your Life.” I’ve admitted to myself I may have a problem with clutter. Sure my old apartment could have been on one of those Oprah decluttering shows, but I never really thought it was stealing my life, until yesterday. Its literally stealing my life.

I watch the TLC show hoarders on television and though I’m not that extreme, I relate to what they’re going through. It’s not bad housekeeping. These people aren’t dirty or lazy. I’m an organizational freak. I love to sort and organize things. It’s psychological.

I can pinpoint  when I became a clutterer. There was a short period of my life when I was homeless. Not literally leaving on the street, but no home to call mine, living with friends, etc. I lived with a male friend who had a crush on me. He kicked me out  when he realized our relationship wasn’t going to be sexual. He kept all my clothes and possessions as a bargaining chip for sex. I left with literally the clothes on my back. A friend of mine gave me a few pieces, but for months I had like two pairs of pants and a couple shirts.

I think once I was financially able I subconsciously bought and bought and bought clothes to ensure that no matter what happened I would never be in that position again. Now, I can barely walk in my closet and have a large storage unit filled mostly with clothes.

So back to the keys, I eventually found them. They’d fallen into a pair of knee length boots by my bed. I stared at those boots all day and never was the wiser. It turned out not to be a freak occurence and not a result of my cluttering.  But it very easily could have been.

I encourage anyone who can remotely relate to this story to check out Mike Nelson’s book “Stop Clutter from Stealing Your Life.” Its eye-opening and its life changing. …playing it off (here’s how you do it)

December 8, 2009

Me Inspiration and Motivation, Weird embarassing moments, playing it off, rules for life 1 Comment

I fell into a swimming pool yesterday. Didn’t slip into one. Didn’t trip into one. I was talking, not paying attention and walked into a freaking swimming pool…fully dressed…in 40 degree weather. Um…yeah.

Ordinarily, when something really embarassing like this happens you can just play it off. You know just pretend it didn’t happen. But when someone is there (as was the case in my situation), this is a little bit more difficult. So here are some rules to save yourself from future embarassment.

Rule #1 of playing it off: This is important. If no one sees you, it didn’t happen. Don’t draw attention to it.

Rule #2 of playing it off: If its possible pretend like you totally intended to do the embarassing thing. Walk into a wall. Accident, nope just needed something hard to hit your face against to wake you up. If no one’s buying that go to…

Rule #3 of playing it off: Blame the other person. “Why didn’t you tell me that big rock was in the middle of the sidewalk causing me to trip? I could have really been hurt you douchebag.” This totally takes the attention off of you and on to the other person. They’ll be so busy defending themselves they won’t have time to laugh.

And if none of these work and all else fails…

Rule #4 of playing it off: Pretend to be hurt. People are less likely to laugh if they think you’re really injured. And who knows its a great way to gain some attention and rack up some sympathy points.

What about you? Do you have any embarassing stories that you were totally able to play off convincingly? Or others that you didn’t? Tell me about it.

Can’t think of any, well just check out these funny and really embarassing videos. The video is kind of grainy but the content is hilarious.

…taking a stand against yellow packets.

Me Food and Drink, Inspiration and Motivation, Weird artificial sweetner, coffee, rights, splenda, sugar, sweet 'n low Leave a comment We joke a lot on this blog, but from time to time we have to get serious. This is one of those times.
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