Usually, when there's a shitstorm on the internet, I tend to hit ignore to be completely honest.  I don't want to weigh in.  I don't want to have a conversation.  I don't want to get involved.  It's only when my Muse nags me half to death to say something that I finally do, fully knowing it's going to force me into pointless conversations that just irritate everyone.  It's why I'd rather talk about pop culture.  No one is going to get too involved or too annoyed but it's generally amusing and interesting.

Last modified on Thursday, 06 September 2018 Frenemies with the Universe

Posted by Deborah Castellano on Tuesday, 04 September 2018 in Culture Blogs Last modified on Tuesday, 04 September 2018 Last modified on Wednesday, 18 July 2018 Posted by Deborah Castellano on Thursday, 28 June 2018 in Culture Blogs Hands down, grief is generally my least favorite emotion.  It’s so big and inescapable and words never express it correctly.  What I didn’t know prior to two weeks ago is that it also protects you.  It’s an anesthetic veil wrapped around your eyes  (and your mouth and ears too for good measure) that prevents you from being bothered by anything that is anything less than urgent matters.  Your grief, your pain is so overwhelming that you are required to be cared for by others because you cannot care for yourself.  You need to be fed, you need to be focused, you need to be loved, you need to be hugged–

You need to be treated like an actual human being.

Last modified on Thursday, 28 June 2018 You Can’t Break Up if It’s Already Over

Posted by Deborah Castellano on Thursday, 07 June 2018 in Culture Blogs So, in Sicily, my brain was completely clogged with salami, seafood, veal, cheese, pasta, blood orange mimosas, arancini, cannoli and wine.  We were surrounded by the gorgeous sea and because there's a volcano there that still erupts periodically, the whole island is positively fecund with wild olive trees, wild pomegranate trees, poppies, wild oleander, jasmine, almond trees, chamomile, orange trees, lemons.  Like, by the side of the highways, randomly growing in archeology sites.  Palermo is like an explosion of Etsy fever dreams - herb gardens and succulents on every balcony and coverable piece of sidewalk.

So you can imagine that despite the fact that I am absolutely shamefully horrible with any language that's not English, I desperately wanted to stay.  I mean, 65% of women in SIcily are unemployed, but dude that is right on track to have the life that Ali Wong always dreams about, that I want too! ("I DON'T WANT TO LEAN IN!  I WANT TO LIE DOWN!)  But blahblahblah you have a husband or something and a "career" and a stupid business and another book to write and the crushing oppression of your life back in Gilead/America to deal with.  Because yes, in SIcily you can get a literal bunch of asparagus or a beautifully laminated Saint prayer card from a vending machine for a Euro, but the fact remains that they would be having none of my proud freak shenanigans there which would eventually get old.  Eventually.

Last modified on Thursday, 07 June 2018 [Rules of Exile] Rule No. 9: You Get What You Get and You Don't Get Upset

Posted by Deborah Castellano on Saturday, 12 May 2018 in Culture Blogs I'm leaving for Sicily on Friday.  I'm grateful to go back to the Motherland I have never known, my exile so deep I only know her face from a glimpse in a movie.  It's vague in my head, it's vague in my mother's head too.  We imagine sketched outlines of churches, food that will be sort of familiar, a volcano .  . . .somewhere.  My sister remembers bright glimpses from her time as a flight attendant but nothing overly substantial.  A wine she had liked when she still drank, a particularly pretty town.  The details have lost their sharpness over time and have been replaced with a whirlwind of elementary school activities for her son.

It's the first time we will travel, the three of us together in well over a decade without any husbands, children or our uncle.  I am nervous about everything - the fact that I only know one phrase that I doubt will endear me to my estranged homeland, the amount of travel required to get there and get around there, being trapped on someone else's schedule for we will be on a little old lady tour, something I swore I would never do.  It felt very far away for me, it still feels very far away despite being six days away.  I'm not packed, Amazon boxes full of travel pillows, brita water bottles, homeopathic jet lag pills, pashminas, walking sandals that I'm trying to break in, space bags are strewn around my living room.  It has not yet been a month since tax season ended, I'm still desperately running, trying to check off a never ending list of things that had been put off but now must be put on, I'm trying to keep up with going to the gym and meal prepping.  I'm trying to read, I'm trying to write.

Last modified on Saturday, 12 May 2018 [The Rules of Exile] Rule No. 7 Trust Your Process

Posted by Deborah Castellano on Sunday, 04 March 2018 in Culture Blogs Oh my sisters.  What a week this has been.  The stories kept coming and coming and coming and everything just got grosser and sicker until none of us knew what to do anymore, really.  None of us knew the whole story, whether we were welcomed back to court from former exile or kept to the countryside, far away from scandal to make new lives for ourselves.  The local empire was burning and none of us could look away, even as more and more of us left court to keep ourselves safe, to stand together.  All any of us have been able to do is to stare into this horrible dumpster fire.

I've been asked to tell my story over and over again.  I've held space for my (gender neutral) sisters who have reached out to me privately to tell their stories.
[null, {"document_url": "http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-culture-blogs/practical-magic.html", "unformatted_src": "/templates/beez_20wp1/images/system/arrow.png", "src": "https://witchesandpagans.com/templates/beez_20wp1/images/system/arrow.png", "formatted_filename": "arrow"}, null, {"document_url": "http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-culture-blogs/practical-magic.html", "unformatted_src": "/templates/beez_20wp1/images/system/arrow.png", "src": "https://witchesandpagans.com/templates/beez_20wp1/images/system/arrow.png", "formatted_filename": "arrow"}, null, null, null, {"document_url": "http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-culture-blogs/practical-magic.html", "unformatted_src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/images/easyblog_images/7997/2e1ax_beez_20wp1_frontpage_sephora.png", "src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/images/easyblog_images/7997/2e1ax_beez_20wp1_frontpage_sephora.png", "formatted_filename": "e ax beez wp frontpage sephora", "alt_text": "Sephora, Authenticity and Accessibility"}, null, null, null, null, {"document_url": "http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-culture-blogs/practical-magic.html", "unformatted_src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/images/easyblog_images/7997/2e1ax_beez_20wp1_frontpage_crown.jpg", "src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/images/easyblog_images/7997/2e1ax_beez_20wp1_frontpage_crown.jpg", "formatted_filename": "e ax beez wp frontpage crown", "alt_text": "[The Rules of Exile] Rule No. 10 You Don\u2019t Get to Be My Last Great Whatever (Includes Spellwork)"}, null, null, {"document_url": "http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-culture-blogs/practical-magic.html", "unformatted_src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/images/easyblog_images/7997/2e1ax_beez_20wp1_frontpage_dove.jpg", "src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/images/easyblog_images/7997/2e1ax_beez_20wp1_frontpage_dove.jpg", "formatted_filename": "e ax beez wp frontpage dove", "alt_text": "Unveiled."}, null, null, {"document_url": "http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-culture-blogs/practical-magic.html", "unformatted_src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/images/easyblog_images/7997/2e1ax_beez_20wp1_frontpage_Altar.JPG", "src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/images/easyblog_images/7997/2e1ax_beez_20wp1_frontpage_Altar.JPG", "formatted_filename": "e ax beez wp frontpage Altar", "alt_text": "You Can\u2019t Break Up if It\u2019s Already Over"}, null, null, null, null, {"document_url": "http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-culture-blogs/practical-magic.html", "unformatted_src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/images/easyblog_images/7997/2e1ax_beez_20wp1_frontpage_Crown-001.jpg", "src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/images/easyblog_images/7997/2e1ax_beez_20wp1_frontpage_Crown-001.jpg", "formatted_filename": "e ax beez wp frontpage Crown", "alt_text": "[The Rules of Exile] Rule No. 7 Trust Your Process"}, null, null, {"document_url": "http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-culture-blogs/practical-magic.html", "unformatted_src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/components/com_easyblog/assets/images/default_blogger.png", "src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/components/com_easyblog/assets/images/default_blogger.png", "formatted_filename": "default blogger", "rendered_width": 25, "rendered_height": 25}, null, {"document_url": "http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-culture-blogs/practical-magic.html", "unformatted_src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/components/com_easyblog/assets/images/default_blogger.png", "src": "http://witchesandpagans.com/components/com_easyblog/assets/images/default_blogger.png", "formatted_filename": "default blogger", "rendered_width": 25, "rendered_height": 25}, null, null, null, null, null, null, null]