When all trees have been cut down, when all animals have been hunted, when all waters are polluted, when all air is unsafe to breathe, only then will you discover you cannot eat money. - Cree Prophecy

No time, eh??

I saw a bit of some program, in TV, by cine actors for AIDS awareness..In that Kamal and Jayaram came in and freaked out for a few minutes. Kamal with a Gatam and Jayaram with a mridangam (typical carnatic accompaniments-percussions)..they both freaked out esp with some high pitched fast paced loud “theem tharikida, nam tharikida” vocal tongue twisters..(a small kid joined them later on the drums and freaked out too)..so whats new, we all knew both these are mavericks and talented..yeah..I knew too but my point is where the heck this kamal fella get time to acquire so many tricks and we lesser mortals sit back and crib perennially that we never have time..even for posting comments in such interesting blogs that is;-)

posted by Ananthoo @ 9:58 AM   9 comments play straight mate..

Hey! what an issue this greg chappels finger show has become..
asusual another nonissue being made up soooo big by the JL media..

but i wish this chap gregie comes up, stands straight and says "hey..u cheer me I show my hand or wave my hand and u mess with or jeer me, I show u a finger..preferaby middle..be ready to take as u give"
simple, eh??
but why hide behind wounded finger, straightening etc..he..hee..
play straight if u dare..or keep that finger somewhere well hidden..even if it means in uncomfy anatomies..

posted by Ananthoo @ 9:27 AM   5 comments picks from the blogosphere...

makes some interesting reading..go ahead..

for those of u who always thought adding one "u" like in lunch-u was telugu, here is a ratification!

One more Dubey, one more IIMite murdered but only no noise this time..it just has become too ordinary for our MSM to even cover this as news!!
(Both the above pointers from the inimitable Amit's India uncut.)

Then there are the blog etiquettes to be followed as specified by Thennavan here

finally one of my fav blogs..

posted by Ananthoo @ 8:25 AM   4 comments Thursday, November 24, 2005

Driving in India...

A hilarious one on driving in India passed to me by harpreet..India traffic is like sehwag, a chaos that somehow works..
This hilarious article was written by an Expert from Europe who spent two years in India.

Driving in India For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in Indiaexcept Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied.

In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed.

Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts),or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare.

After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

LeaningTowerof Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker" two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental makeup of Ghenghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a
truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.

Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads.

During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except that the drivers will never show any Signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals; they are the greater threat). Only, you will often observe that the cleaner who sits next to the driver, will project his hand and wave hysterically. This is definitely not to be construed as a signal for a left turn. The waving is just a statement of physical relief on a hot day. If, after all this, you still want to drive in India, have your lessons between 8 pm and 11 am-when the police have gone home and - The citizen is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' enshrined in the constitution. Having said all this, isn't it true that the accident rate and related deaths are less in India compared to US or other countries!!??

posted by Ananthoo @ 12:38 AM   5 comments JL ponderings...

All u sound sleepers out there – there is an implant to stop snoring it seems!!http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/22/health/22snor.html

A rally conducted in Bangladesh against the unruly ruling party- the pick was -the protest organizers put the turnout at 1 million but the police put the figure at 100000!! 1:10 eh??

Victims in POK got to see TV and are leaping for joy..geesh..when will they ever change??

Left and lalu blame paswan for splitting the MY votes..hmm..will these creatures never evolve??

Dandavate – it seems, when he was informed of being appointed as a minister in Morarji’s cabinet, was washing his clothes in his bathroom, just then enquiring if surf should be put in hot or cold water! Such fictious characters used to live and get elected too..hmm..

No refund to cricket fans in chennai! The audacious organizers have clarified that it has been printed in the tickets that there shall be no refund..how much salt they have to rub in people’s wound before the people start boycotting the games..its always the same story – no facilities, no toilets, no drinking water and now no refunds..will we learn??

posted by Ananthoo @ 10:34 PM   4 comments Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Hey! Bihar wins!!

so atlast Bihar does one good thing..it throws lalu and who ever becomes CM i no care buddy..atleast they have decided to throw away the worst ever polytrixian manufactured by India (ok..ok..may be VP gives a tuff fight)..This gives hope eh..if Bihar could do it most other states shud follow..else the devegowdas and likes wud manifest their thought that "do good, u get no votes;do nothing and u get votes"..so a hope for all other states too..
am sure it shud be for the better of Bihar for the simple reason it could not have been any worse as it is now!
Three cheers to the Biharis..

posted by Ananthoo @ 7:48 PM   5 comments Chennai - chances remote..

looks like chances are remote of a match in madras 2moro..it has been raining almost the whole day..
like venkat said once famously "if the sunshines the whole night there are chances of play 2moro"
but since its a day nit, people are still hoping..
I wud say its almost ruled out..

Btw that lands me in to another doubt - what is that a Warne or Mark Waugh tell one about the weather than a local from the venue?? and why those 1000s of $:-)

posted by Ananthoo @ 7:54 AM   19 comments Sunday, November 20, 2005

travel, trains and titbits...

Oops..one week since I blogged..
so I said u, didn’t I?? That am busy now after retirement;-)
Went to salem and Blore in the meantime and so not many interesting stuff..so some titbits below..

SR,travel and surprises..
(For the uninitiated - SR is Southern Railways.)
I got in to Cheran to go up to Salem and found the train surprisingly neat enof and as always the 2nd class compartment filled with diff characters – interesting, probing, intruding, snobish and all..but its always fun traveling in train with so many unsolicited views and updates..I for once was very keen for all updates (politrix and otherwise)..
BTW the surprise no:1 was the TT who came in to check the tickets! He threw a big smile and a loud “Good morning everybody” and was very nice and helpful to one and all..hey will u not pinch yourself to see where u are?? I did..and by then an old man from the next seat said – “very nice eh? We need more of such people…”
Cleanliness, hygiene are still an issue..chps..chpss..more on that later..

Central – updates
Madras central is a totally diff place now..for the better I mean..the most striking is the new food complex that’s in the central premises itself..u have Saravana Bhavan, Adyar Ananda Bhavan et al in there..who ever thought of that idea and implemented..let his family and heirs be blessed with saravanas sambhar all thru their life..(superscript matter here is the price saravanas charges.. but..)
Any way for those who miss it, don’t worry..esp in trains like cheran, brindavan, intercity from CBE to Blore etc the rly vendors keep coming..like Australian batsmen till the last, they keep coming on u..even if u don’t buy, the way they sell is a treat to watch!

Crazy eh???
I was listening to some songs on my MP3 (ya..strutting arnd in SR)..Raaga.com used to be my fav to listen to songs when I was there..and now as I was listening to the songs, I cud remember where all they used to barge in and say “you are listening to Raaga” in between the song..It seems to work..thats etched in to my memory that I knew exactly where they wud say “u r listening…”in Raaga..crazy, eh??

Am happy I need to type less here..only one word is enof infact – DISAPPOINTING
Thanks to all those who comment in this blog and to the 1000s (hmm..hmmm) of people who send pers mail appreciating (hmm..hmmm) and admonishing..its a pleasure to be in touch with friends..but this new mode thrills me still ..I do reply across to the comments there itself..(shall do so until I feel a better way comes up)

posted by Ananthoo @ 9:38 AM   6 comments Sunday, November 13, 2005

weekend nuggets

For those of you who keep asking me How do I timepass??
If u ask me what do u do on a satday evening? The answer is: sit on the roof top at Ranjith with ur old friends (yeah pun intended) with cold barley extracts and green salads (after a couple of rounds this green stuff strangely turns to deep fried stuff, still..who cares.com), discuss the country, world, polytrix, people and all that – like in the chai shop sittings of “those days”..

Ok to Chennai updates:
I did not spot clogged up water in most places I went around..but heard in places like Haddows Rd or in some specific subways water did clog up to 3 feet but was pumped out by the officials every other hour..so it was like “now u see it, now u don’t”!!
Yeah yeah..places like velachery where essentially lakes or tanks were converted to real estates are the real estates under water..whose greed was it is a highly emotional and philosophical question to discuss here..and places like Avadi, ambattur where rain water harvesting was not practiced are under water..Yes! As I mentioned sometime back, this RWH has resulted in rain water really going down with out great efforts by corporation/municipality and also resulted in a good increase of the water table!
and I shud tell u this cheap stuff:- In some places like V’kkam the opposition guys felt so irked that the water was not clogging and causing inconvenience to people, cut of some tanks and “created” water pools..disgusting ain’t??talk of people, sense,polytrix..chi..

The parks at many places are looking neat..and BTW u cant do a "mannar & co" stuff for long at many of these parks and people are not allowed beyond 10PM in evenings..hmm..

Now I plan to go to Blore in the next couple of days..and may be will have a good picture of a city going down the drains..
BTW Blore’s loss is becoming chennai’s gain in recent times and that too silently, I hear..more on that as I see/hear…

Talking of cricket matches – man it was sweet, nice and great and a bunch of other adjectives..but was not a treat to watch! Yeah it became boringly one sided and this rout is just too good to believe..one good thing is we shall have a reality check soon.. SA are already here..By all prob I shud be watching the Blore game from the stands..

finally a short update on Cargo fiasco– situation is bad..But am confident I shall not spare them..will get the compensation..but when is a ?

posted by Ananthoo @ 10:08 PM   7 comments Cargo, AAI and me.. really short for time..
parents not doing well..so busy attending to them plus this cargo screw up..
my story in short..
The AAI (Airport Authority of India) who receives all cargo from any carrier keeps the items in their custody till the recipient clears the customs and collects them. They charge all the customers heavily (handling charges – what a misnomer) and inspite of that they have no closed facility to store..and the babu attitude of WTF..as a result the boxes were all drenched and then they throw them on trolleys to move up and down..and u receive the 28 packets as 100+ and all dripping..and no one to receive a complaint or address your grievance.

So here I am in receipt of my items in pieces (most of it wet and to-be-useless)..Now I shall not leave them..Will take it up..ask for compensation from the carrier who should fight it out with AAI or his pop or who ever..

1/ never send cargo to madras in those 10 days that it rains in a year!
2/ Insist ur cargo agent to wrap up all ur items in plastic sheets.(many of them in madras had that! once bitten,eh?)
3/ learn in advance about insurance in case AAI screws up etc
4/ Have the numbers of your carrier handy - of all the people this one wud be a private party, so chances are atleast they will pick your call. If that too is AI or some excreta, God save u dear..
5/ Finally please carry a good camera. though u cannot photograph inside the premises take some as soon as u are near their gate.(sigh..i had only my mobile and so not good quality pics of the pathetic sight. sample above!)

posted by Ananthoo @ 10:06 PM   10 comments porters and bollywood...

So u laughed when ever u saw a bollywood hero lift (with so much emotions and dramatic strain) some heavy stuff on his back and make way for a living first and become a rich man soon..
so u cleverly commented " so he cooly lifts some big packs and becomes rich is it?"
ha.haa..@ u my dear reader...to load my piddly boxes to a small van (3 guys in 5 mins) each took a 100 each and to unload at my place another 100 each..
so who had the last laugh??

BTW- a big time goof up by the cargo guys..(hey then what? our babus and professional service is it?) what with unexpected rains in madras??
Iam after these AHs for their goof up..so more on cargo release stories 2moro..
(NO!!I shall not spare them..I have time buddy..shall take the airlines, AAI, et al one by one)

posted by Ananthoo @ 11:34 PM   4 comments Next halt customs...

Hey wait for a very interesting side of the beuracracy here..I am going to clear my cargo 2moro..I remember Naipaul dedicating the prolog and 1st chapter in his first book of the “famous trilogy on India” with his interaction with our babus to clear his whisky..some 40 pages for that ordeal and equal number of days that he spent on his lickaar bottles..hmm..whats in store(y) for me??

posted by Ananthoo @ 8:10 PM   5 comments Sunday, November 06, 2005

Madras- more updates and..

So..addl updates on madras..a few of u had expressed ur surprise and joy..hey..its not that Chennai is dripping honey n milk all over and has become a heaven (a la Neyveli) in no time..nein..never..its just that it beat my low expectations I had of chennai and its inimitable politicos..but.. but some things like water conservation have really improved..just goes to say if only the politicos can lay their mind on somethings and that too this dicta’rial jj can get done
(m)any thing(s)…hmm..
After that another lash of heavy rains- nonstop for 2 days now..so need to look at roads 2moro..shall do so and report later..

Talking of seeing matches..oh ya..its on DD..so take or give 2 balls..I mean per over..er..I mean it is either 2 or 4 balls that u get to see per over..but one noticeable thing is lots of advertisements have been very catchy..conveying so many things in such short times and with that punch of humor..Ads have evolved beyond imagination in India..really gr8

posted by Ananthoo @ 11:50 PM   8 comments About Movies and mani..

just happened to see some old ones on TV..hmm..nice time pass eh?

Money Ratnam (oh! Yeah..he was always considered to be so shrewd on money, mani became money long since)really had a zing in him..saw a couple of his old movies..i was never a big fan of his movies though I liked his style of movie making..the way he played up the youth factor and the realistic portrayal of his characters and the best of all picturisation of his songs..
Man..my admiration for this man multiplied after I came to know he has never traveled outside India for his movies/ songs..and just think of a few of his best songs and you would feel why did so many bollywood guys had to go to swiss,newzee et al!!
If only I had known that earlier during the ICC trophy in England, I wud have asked him about this..yeah..he is a big fan of cricket and was following the ICC matches in England in person setting aside useful works, like yours truly;-)

posted by Ananthoo @ 9:47 AM   5 comments am back..first impressions..

So am back..and thought let me record things as I see, feel and face..
as expected a big queue in the immigration and as luck wud have it, I was the last person in the longest queue. needless to state here that, that queue moed the slowest;-)

once i was out (ok..ok..to collect the baggae was an ordeal, but is boring to elaborate here)

I expected heavy water clogs and ruins as roads..but no where did i see water..even in the duraisamy subway (where urine passed by 2nd show goers too clogs up to half the bridge) no water..
most roads were near perfect..traffic was smooth too (esp afer hearig so much from so many B'lroeans)

too many parks..more greenery..
topically, from what I heard: no plastic bags allowed in to marina beach..(yes controlled even in such open places)..so forget in places like zoo etc..there are special people at entrances who will off load all that one is carrying in plastic covers to paper bags etc and send u in!
water harvesting has benefitted the city so well even in such a short period!!

so sort of sure she cannot win the next elections..u cant do good and get elected here man!!!

otherwise..life asusual..watching the cricket matches in full..eating n meeting everyone..its Diwali here man..sooooo many things to eat..wanted to pick up some things from krishna sweeets (no sweets in stocks..u can buy the sweet checks ad encash sweets in the following months!!) and in grand sweets had to wait an hour to go near, order and wait to pick up..heavy shoutings on mike - pacchai token 614 come and collect ur order..no yellow tokens that side saaar!!!

finally- its yet to sink in that iam in a diff place..life asusual..so no emotions..no missings ..yet..
and heavy progs in TV..esp a 4 hour relay of Ilayarajas great concert that he conducted recently in nehru stadium..ha..haa....
really too busy for a retired man..got to cut down my busy schedule..
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