Combating Ego Missteps with the Power of EQ By Jen Shirkani

Applying the 3 Rs

Here’s a snapshot of how the three R’s can be used to combat the ego trap of not letting go of control.

Jane Doe department head is told by the HR director that a number of employee complaints have been received about Jane’s unwillingness to delegate tasks. In hearing this, Jane may initially disagree with the feedback, but by partnering with an internal coach who explains this is something that can be fairly easily fixed, Jane agrees to make an honest effort to change. But how? With the three R’s, she can be better prepared to avoid this ego trap the next time it appears.

First, Jane learns to recognize the triggers that cause her to micromanage things. With some mindful attention, she starts to tune into her strong desire to ensure that every detail turns out right in every situation and is able to better determine when to jump in and when not to act on that urge (self-awareness).

Next, she turns an eye outward and tries to read how her team members might be feeling in a given situation (empathy). She thinks about the work they have been hired to do, realizes that no one likes working for a micro-manager, and better tunes into the help they do and don’t need from her in order to contribute to the team.

Lastly, Jane responds in a way that acknowledges her own impulses to get involved while also respecting her team members’ need for autonomy (self-control). She authorizes them to do the work they were hired to do while she stays informed without staying involved.

Score one for Jane, her coach, and EQ. Jane’s use of the three R’s has stopped her ego from undermining her ability to delegate and instead helped her build credibility and trust with her team. Regardless of the ego trap, the three R’s are a handy way to ensure that EQ, not ego, reigns supreme.

Related Tags: Jen Shirkani

Jen Shirkani is founder and CEO of the Penumbra Group, a talent management consulting practice. She is the author of EGO VS. EQ (bibliomotion books+media, October 2013).
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