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How to Charm a Girl Sep 20, 2013

Being charming is as much about knowing your audience as it is about having confidence in yourself. Every girl has her own personality and preferences which you will have to learn and adapt to if you want her to find you charming. Here you’ll find some tips on getting to know her a little better while being as charming as possible.

Show You're Interested and Interesting

The first priority needs to be some sort of connection between the two of you. You may see a girl, think she is cute and imagine the story of “what if” in your mind, but unless you actually go over and start something with her it is all just in your imagination. Try finding something that you have in common to talk about, if you’re both meeting in person you’ll be at the same location which may give you a way to open up the conversation and try to find other ways to connect.

Once the conversation is underway try to find something she is interested in and get her talking about it. Make sure you add to the conversation by interjecting at peak moments, “Wow, that must be one amazing monkey!” and asking questions. It is ok to talk about yourself and your own interests as well, just be sure you don’t drone on and that she seems interested in continuing to listen to you. That's a good sign.

Body language and Keeping Her Gaze

Once the conversation is underway, be sure to use the right body language. You want to appear open and confident but not rigid. Being easy with a smile and having good posture while still being relaxed and hold her gaze without starting directly at her the entire time. When you do smile make sure it is from genuine feelings, a forced smile for the sake of politeness is not a smile that is going to charm anybody.

As the conversation progresses you can change your distance from her and get closer. This will also open you up to be able to be able to touch her if the time is right. A hand on the shoulder if she relates something funny or adjusting a stray hair that has come loose are examples of charming ways to add touch to the meeting. Always be aware of how she responds after being touched. Don’t lunge at her and be aware of whether or not she initially pulls away when you reach for her and observe her body language after, if she closes off and crosses her arms then take things more slowly and rebuild the connection. An intense gaze can help you out, just learn to recognize when it gets weird. A quick glance to her mouth can break the intensity.

Accelerate Things

Speak, act and treat a girl in the way you’d like to have her think about you. If you are talking to a co-worker or classmate you can either treat them professionally and courteously, in which case you will cement your roles together and not be a charmer, or you can act as if you are already close friends, who flirt and joke a little and have a connection. Don’t do too much too quickly or do something inappropriate before you know her and can anticipate what she likes and does not like. Try to take quick little tests of her to learn her personal limits before committing to larger acts. If she doesn’t respond well to a slightly off color comment about an issue then she probably won’t be up for hearing your joke about it.

Compliments and Improving your Own Image

Complimenting a girl correctly can work wonders for your charm factor or it can make you come off as creepy and a bit odd. Make sure you are being genuine and also that you aren’t overdoing it. A compliment that you’ve remembered, like the way she asked a question during a meeting or lecture, or how you saw something about her earlier can show that you are interested in her and that can certainly be a plus. Of course compliments made in the moment are also great. If her hair looks great today or her outfit is working let her know, but be simple but creative with your words. “Jen, you’re just a vision today, your hair looks great” Is charming (tip: Use her name when you can)  while, “WOW! Your hair looks so awesome I love it” comes off as a bit over the top and loses some of the charm. Creativity when giving a compliment is your friend. Hearing the same words from multiple people begins to blend into the background, but hearing a creative compliment will really stand out and be noticed.

On the other hand, make sure you are able to take a compliment well. If you’ve been as charming as you think you have been she may be complimenting you back as well. Make sure you are gracious and accept her positive words with confidence. A real charmer must have a sense of being great and while being humble to a certain extent is a good thing be sure to balance it out with confidence and the knowledge that you are deserving of accolades.

Where are your Manners?

If you’re being rude you aren’t being charming. Wit, humour and good manners go hand in hand with being charming. Use the proper language for the situation and avoid being overly crude. The media portrayal of the handsome, debonair charmer has been ingrained into most of our modern society and if you can tap into that just a little bit it will help you out.

Avoid gossip and speaking badly about other people. If you talk badly to her about someone else, what is she going to imagine that you say behind her back? Instead, be an attentive listener, pick up on what she is saying and respond. If she has bad things to say about others don’t just hop on the wagon trashing them as well but try to empathize and come across as understanding her situation while staying removed from it. Avoid trying to give advice especially if she talks about personal problems, just listen and be understanding. This can be an opening to lay on some charm as well, if you let her know that you’d like to take her away from her problems in a sweet way. Get out there and charm her like a prince

Take Aways

Show an interest in what she has to say, be interesting in return but put the focus on her

Be Confident and show it. Confident body language including good eye contact and standing up straight go a long way.

Act for the job you want. Step up your game and if you like her act like you are closer and you will become closer, this opens the door for her to feel closer to you and opens up your options for laying on the charm.

Be polite, just not too polite. Show good manners and treat yourself and her with respect and class but keep a bit of an edge as well, don't just be a yes man.

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