I know that I can still celebrate her legacy and her life, even though she is in Glory-but it’s not the same, you know? I want to get her a gift. I want to write her a card. I want her arms to wrap around me in a tight embrace that is better than any other hug I’ve known.

I know and believe truth. I know and believe she is in a better place, that God has purpose for all the pain, that he took her at the perfect time-though I don’t understand why. I know how fortunate I am to have had her in my life for 28 years and how grateful I am for all God did in and through her.

But it still sucks.

It hurts.

It’s sad.

I don’t like it.

So this motherless, Mother’s Day, I am going to feel the incredible weight of that sadness, with the soothing peace of that truth. I am probably going to cry, and that is sooooooo okay.

But, because of my faith in Jesus, I am not going to stop there. I want to be what he would want me to be. I want to have his heart. So I am going to pray to be used on Mother’s Day. I am going to pray that God puts on my heart and mind, other people who need encouragement or love that day. Mothers with children who are not emotionally healthy enough appreciate them the way they deserve to be appreciated. Mothers with children who are not older enough to understand the constant sacrifices they are making. And mothers who are mothers and grandmothers themselves, who, though months or years have passed, will still be feeling the still of missing their own moms.

Join me in aiming to love these women well, and let me know if you have any thoughts on Motherless Mother’s Day ❤

With Tears of Heartache & Gratitude for the Gospel,

People have favorite questions.

When you’re a high school/college senior it’s: “So, what’s your plan after your graduate?”

When you’re expecting, it’s: “Girl or boy?”

And when you’re engaged, it’s: “So how are wedding plans going?” For me, wedding planning hasn’t been TOO stressful (there have been 2 moments that I dreaded it, but other than that-it’s been chill!) and I try and keep the mindset of– “I get to throw a giant party with the friends and family who love Nathaniel and I the most to celebrate God’s goodness and eat really good food.” And that doesn’t sound so stressful to me at all!

Details aren’t my jam-so I’ll be figuring out everyone’s table setting here in the next few weeks, but I do have all the invitations stuffed and sealed and probably going to the right address, so that’s exciting!

But as I prepare to mail them out, I can’t help but think of the dozens and dozens of people who won’t be receiving an invitation. People that I love and laugh with. People that I’ve been shaped by, and have had the privilege of helping to shape. Our venue is lovely, but small compared to the number of people I have felt connected to or loved by in my 28 years on this earth.

So to you-the college suite-mates that grew with me, the church families that took me in, the church friends that saw me through ugly seasons and loved me anyways, the coffee date buds who steadfastly care, and the amazing old and new co-workers who make work a wonderful place to be- i love you. I love you and please don’t interpret my inability to invite you as a mark of your value to me, or your impact in my life. Don’t think you’re lack of an invitation means anything except we have a small budget and a big family. If you feel some sort of way about not getting an invite, PLEASE message me and talk with me. I’m happy to affirm our relationship and schedule a time for us to get together soon. xoxo

Much love and gratitude,

Also…kind of regretting that we didn’t do this…
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