Unless your spouse is a danger to the children, don't ask your adult kids to show their loyalty to you by keeping him or her away from the grandchildren.
Omunhu ngeenge nee ou shi kutya ouna ounona voye, mbela omolwashike iho ka tala ko ounona voye kovakulunhu voye ove uka kale navo oko uli, ove to kala nee to kwata oimaliwa yoye memanguluko?