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 If David Hasselhoff had any hope that he could put that infamous down-on-the-floor drunk, cheeseburger-chewing video behind him, he can forget about it. 
 
 The former Baywatch star was roasted by Comedy Central last night, and no surprise, his battle with the booze was one of the main punching bags, as were his acting and singing skills. 
 
 Just how cruel hilarious did things get? Read on to find out… 
 
 It was only about a minute into the show, when Roast Master, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, brought up the vid. "He's multi-lingual," MacFarlane said. "He can speak English, Spanish, German and...whatever the f--k that language was in the cheeseburger video." 
 
 Talking about Knight Rider, comedian and former Dancing With the Stars contestant Jeffrey Ross said, "What a lucky break—an alcoholic that gets cast in a show about a car that drives itself!" 
 
 Ross continued, "I heard the Hoff once got so drunk he f--ked K.I.T.T. in the gashole." 
 
 In honor of his popularity in Germany, Hasselhoff entered the roast surrounded by dancing German beer girls while performing "Hooked On a Feeling." 
 
 "Marlee Matlin called," McFarlane cracked, "and said, 'Please, David, no more singing." 
 
 Even Baywatch alum Pamela Anderson got in on the jabbing. "I remember how nervous I was on my first day of Baywatch because I can't swim," she said. "But David was so sweet. He pulled me aside and said, 'Don't worry, I can't act.'" 
 
 Anderson still has warm feelings for her former boss, telling him "I really want to work with you again someday, but you know, there is just no role for somebody like me in gay porn." 
 
 And who would have ever thought that Hasselhoff would have something in common with Leonardo DiCaprio's hit movie, Inception. 
 
 "David, your acting is like Inception," McFarlane said. "There's no sense of reality. It's impossible to follow what's happening and midway through we realize you were unconscious the entire time." 
 
 The night's roasters also included Hulk Hogan, George Hamilton, Jerry Springer and hilariously foulmouthed comedians Lisa Lampanelli, Gilbert Gottfried, Greg Giraldo and Chelsea Lately regular, Whitney Cummings. 
 
 We have to say that Cummings killed it. She brought raunch and personal insults to a whole new level. It'll be interesting to see how Comedy Central handles all the night's dirty cuss-filled zingers when the roast airs on August 15. 
 
 Check out the creepy pic from last night's David Hasselhoff roast over at Marc's Twitter. 
 
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 See what else the stars have been up to in the Big Picture photo gallery. ||||| Infamous Cheeseburger Video the Main Meal in David Hasselhoff Comedy Roast 
 
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 Major media fallout followed, and the video became something of a cultural phenomenon, attracting more than a billion views on the Internet. 
 
 
 
 Three year's later, the Hoff's greatest viral embarrassment, as well as his longtime struggle with alcohol, provides the fuel for the 'Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff.' 
 
 
 
 Scheduled to air on August 15, the roast was filmed Sunday night and is shockingly the first time Hasselhoff has ever addressed the infamous video or his reported alcohol relapses. When David Hasselhoff 's now infamous cheeseburger video hit the Internet in 2007, the shocking image of the shirtless, slurring 'Baywatch' star on the floor struggling to eat fast food was no laughing matter.Major media fallout followed, and the video became something of a cultural phenomenon, attracting more than a billion views on the Internet.Three year's later, the Hoff's greatest viral embarrassment, as well as his longtime struggle with alcohol, provides the fuel for the 'Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff.'Scheduled to air on August 15, the roast was filmed Sunday night and is shockingly the first time Hasselhoff has ever addressed the infamous video or his reported alcohol relapses. 
 
 "I've been waiting for a forum to talk about where I'm at," Hasselhoff said backstage at the event. "I didn't do it in the beginning because I was in a very personal matter and it involved the custody of my children."Hasselhoff has always maintained that the burger video was illegally released and has never spoken about it publicly -- despite offers from major magazines and Larry King."I wanted to address [it] the way I wanted to address it," he added. "And tonight was the way I wanted to address it."More than address it, Hasselhoff was tormented about it repeatedly during the two-hour roast by some of the sharpest tongues in the business.Those who felt the comics would keep the gloves on for the roast were immediately proven wrong during Hasselhoff's introduction, where, sprinkled among the clips from his 'Baywatch' and 'Knight Rider' days, moments from the horrifying burger video kept popping up. Taboo no more.Seth MacFarlane, the roast master for the event, launched right in and zeroed in on the video."How do you make jokes about a joke? How do you embarrass a man who so thoroughly embarrasses himself?" he asked as the crowd roared with laughter. "How do you put someone down when they are already lying shirtless on the floor?"And that was only the beginning. While fellow roasters like Hulk Hogan, Jerry Springer and Pamela Anderson looked on, Hasselhoff sat in the middle on a red, oversized lifeguard's chair. His arms were folded in front of him for much of the night, but he gamely laughed at most of the jokes that were hurled at him.It might have been his greatest acting role ever. Though during the first commercial break, he showed a little chink in the armor. "It's going to be a long night," he said in the direction of his two daughters, who were in the audience.Insult specialist and former 'Dancing with the Stars' contestant Jeffrey Ross inquired what drink Hasselhoff had in a dark red glass on his lifeguard's chair. When the Hoff insisted it was water, Ross expressed disbelief and then continued his attack."I must admit, I did love you in that cheeseburger commercial you once made," Ross mocked, insisting the motto from the burger chain must have been "Have it Floor Way!""I'm so relieved you're wearing a shirt tonight because it will be so much easier than picking the vomit out of your chest hair later," Ross continued.Even animal rights activist and 'Baywatch' co-star Pamela Anderson piled on."David, I have to say, when I saw the video of you lying on the floor -- drunk, broken down, cheeseburger meat falling from your mouth -- I felt so sad," said Anderson. "For that cow."Hasselhoff exited the show triumphantly -- we don't want to spoil the ending, but it's awesome. And he even gamely met the press backstage."Yeah, it goes too far," Hasselhoff said when asked about some of the barbs. "That's what they want to do. They want to get to everybody."He kept a fixed smile on his face throughout and insisted the event was "therapeutic." Hasselhoff had, in his mind, dealt with the video issue once and for all -- and he was still standing."No one got me," said the Hoff. "I'm still laughing. My face hurts. I'm sorry it's over."Greatest. Actor. Ever. ||||| Tonight Comedy Central airs the Roast of Justin Bieber , and we're just going to say it: this is the worst television decision since The Swan got greenlit. Look, we get why Comedy Central did it. Bieber's a big star in "key demo" metrics like Twitter followers, Lamborghinis, and having absolutely zero ability to cope with having fame or money. Getting him to agree to be roasted is a huge coup for the network—or would be, if that's what actually happened. Instead, Bieber's management realized that being rightfully despised for one's actions isn't the best PR strategy, and trotted him out on a bullshit goodwill tour to make him seem like a human being. 
 
 So don't watch this travesty. Don't give CC the ratings. Don't talk about it online while it's airing. Do watch the videos after the fact, though, because it's a stellar lineup of comics—especially Hannibal Buress, who cemented his status as Realest Motherfucker Alive when he incinerated Bieber thusly: 
 
 "They say that you roast the ones you love, but I don't like you at all, man. I'm just here because it's a real good opportunity for me. Actually, you should thank me for participating in this extremely transparent attempt to be more likable in the public eye. And I hope it doesn't work." 
 
 Boom. Roasted. 
 
 Don't worry, though. Just because you're boycotting this abomination of a comedy special doesn't mean you can't enjoy the many high points of the modern roast era (which began in 1998, when Comedy Central began airing Friars Club roasts—later moving into producing its own affairs). To that end, we thought we'd pull together the best of the best. And if you need something to watch tonight, may we suggest Man of La Mancha on TCM. 
 
 Sarah Silverman Roasts Pamela Anderson (2005) 
 
 Remember those bygone days when Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel were dating? Take a time machine back to those salad (tossing) days with this Silverman roast of Pam Anderson, who really is only the butt of about one-third of Silverman's jokes. The rest are about Kimmel's balls and Courtney Love, who was in attendance and desperately trying to steal the show at every turn. (Side note: We love Love as Elle Dallas on Empire , but some days we still long for Love as "wrecking-est train" on literally anything. Talk about the bygone days.) 
 
 Bea Arthur Roasts Pamela Anderson (2005) 
 
 This one you just kind of have to watch. It's Bea Arthur reading from Pamela Anderson's book. It's basically like your grandmother narrating Fifty Shades of Grey , but less traumatic. 
 
 George Takei Roasts William Shatner (2006) 
 
 There's never really been any love lost between Bill Shatner and George Takei, so when good ol' Sulu ends his monologue here with a "fuck you and the horse you rode in on" to his Captain Kirk it doesn't really feel like a roast. It just feels like, well, the truth maybe? Shatner, to his credit, just takes it all. But then again, he also just looks so genuinely befuddled by the whole thing you half expect him to ask how they got "fuck" into a Priceline commercial scriptBeyond roasting his old Star Trek non-crony, Takei also gets in some great zingers, and considering how often roasts slide by on gay jokes, it's nice to see a few of them delivered by an actual living, breathing homosexual. 
 
 Greg Girardo Roasts Flavor Flav (2007) 
 
 The late Girardo never won any points for his sensitivity, but he was in rare form on this particular night. After four minutes of taking out Katt Williams ("You're like Afro Sheen—some white people have heard of you, but no one knows know what you do. What a teeny little pimp!"), Ice-T ("You're so old, on your first album the N-word was 'Negro'"), and everyone else on the stage, he turned to poor Flav. What followed was the best round of the dozens a white dude has ever pulled off: "I've never roasted an oily cadaver before. You're like a skeleton wrapped in electrical tape. You look like Idi Amin after a three-year crack binge on the sun." We're still recovering from it. 
 
 Norm MacDonald Roasts Bob Saget (2008) 
 
 If you love Norm (hell, even if you hate him, though if that's the case you shouldn't be reading about comedy) you know that he's a master of the deadpan troll. On this night, that meant six minutes of reading groaners that his father had written. Seriously. It's anti-comedy at its finest. Bravo, Norm. Bravo. 
 
 Amy Schumer Roasts Charlie Sheen (2011) 
 
 This is classic Schumer: Acting nice and then hitting with a joke so virulent you immediately feel bad for laughing at it. Like many of these segments, the best jokes aren't really directed at the roastee, so Charlie Sheen actually gets off pretty easy (don't even say it…). Mike Tyson, however, gets the one line that to this day most people still can't believe Schumer said with him in the room: "Hey Mike, here's something you'll never hear: Great tattoo! You have a slutty lower back tattoo on your face. Men don't know whether to be scared of it, or finish on it." 
 
 Andy Samberg Roasts...No One (2013) 
 
 In the world of improv and sketch comics, true meanness is in short supply, and Samberg played up the divide by going full reverse roast. No need to explain any more, just enjoy the display.
– Warning: The promos for Comedy Central’s roast of David Hasselhoff might just be enough to make you like the troubled actor again. The Baywatch star and German music phenom was roasted Sunday night by Comedy Central regulars like Gilbert Gottfried, as well as newcomers like Jerry Springer and Hulk Hogan. A few zingers courtesy of E!: Seth MacFarlane: “He's multi-lingual. He can speak English, Spanish, German, and...whatever the fuck that language was in the cheeseburger video.” Jeffrey Ross: “What a lucky break—an alcoholic that gets cast in a show about a car that drives itself!” Seth MacFarlane: “Marlee Matlin called and said, 'Please, David, no more singing.’” Pamela Anderson: “I remember how nervous I was on my first day of Baywatch because I can't swim. But David was so sweet. He pulled me aside and said, 'Don't worry, I can't act.'” Pamela Anderson: “I really want to work with you again someday, but you know, there is just no role for somebody like me in gay porn." The roast airs August 15—and it marks the first time Hasselhoff has addressed his infamous "cheeseburger video." To watch that classic, and see what the Hoff had to say about it, click here.