The death of a loved one is undoubtedly the hardest thing we face in our short, ridiculous years on Earth. The simple fact that someone isn’t coming back is perhaps the most difficult part of the grieving process, and one that can only be tempered by time. In the end, all we can do is cherish our memories of the person who has gone before us, and learn a few lessons from a life well lived. 
 
 Newspaper obituaries are rarely the place to impart such lessons, but every now and then they can be used for much more than simply stating the facts of a person’s life. Take the obituary for Mary A. “Pink” Mullaney, an 85-year-old Wisconsin woman who passed away September 1. Her obituary begins with “If you’re about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop,” and only gets more amazing—and oddly inspirational—from there. Here are a few of our favorite lessons contained in this warm, affectionate, and funny look back on woman who was clearly adored and loved by her family: 
 
 • “Never throw away old pantyhose. Use the old ones to tie gutters, child-proof cabinets, tie toilet flappers, or hang Christmas ornaments.” • “If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn’t leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay.” • “Go to church with a chicken sandwich in your purse. Cry at the consecration, every time. Give the chicken sandwich to your homeless friend after mass.” • “Put picky-eating children in the box at the bottom of the laundry chute, tell them they are hungry lions in a cage, and feed them veggies through the slats.” • “Believe the hitchhiker you pick up who says he is a landscaper and his name is ‘Peat Moss.’” • “Take magazines you’ve already read to your doctors’ office for others to enjoy. Do not tear off the mailing label, ‘Because if someone wants to contact me, that would be nice.’” 
 
 The full obit—which, again, will be the best thing you read all day—can be found here. [h/t Ted Perry] ||||| At Newsline 9 we're always on the lookout for the next news story. Our sources are wide and varied. A recent obituary posted on social media caught our eye and we knew we had to share her story with you. It's of a remarkable Milwaukee woman who is being remembered for her life devoted to others.Mary Agnes Mullaney, better known as "Pink" was born in Milwaukee in 1927. She passed away earlier this week."She was an amazing woman. A very gentle, kind person," said longtime friend Ann Kenwood.Survived by her six children and 17 grandchildren, her family knew a normal obituary just wouldn't work for an extraordinary woman."We wanted something that showed who she was," explained daughter Maryanne "We said, how can we be like her and carry her pinkness across."The following are excerpts from the colorful death announcement."Go to church with a chicken sandwich in your purse. Give the chicken sandwich to your homeless friend after mass." "Go to a nursing home. Kiss everyone.""Invite new friends to thanksgiving dinner. Bonus points if they're from another country," read Maryanne from the obituary. "Never say mean things about anybody; they're poor souls to pray for."Days after Pink's death, in a small room tucked away from hundreds of visitors at Feerick Funeral Home, her family reflects."We'd go to the grocery store with her and before she'd get out of the car we'd say, promise you won't stop and talk to everybody and kiss every baby. I can't make that promise she would say," explained her daughter Meg.It's because Pink's life was devoted to others."From the Northshore doctor to the homeless person they were all equal in my mother's eyes," said Maryanne.The obituary explains it best, "allow the homeless to keep warm in your car while you are mass," it reads. "Take magazines you've already read to your doctors office for others to enjoy. But do not tear off the mailing label." "Because if someone wants to contact me that be nice.""She really reached out to people and they reached back," said Meg.If Pink didn't see you on the street, or meet you in the grocery line, chances are she wrote to you."She would see a dress with a person's name on it, or a flier and she'd write to them," said longtime friend Stan Kenwood.In fact, there were thousands of letters. Some of them were for fun, others serious. One of those letters Kenwood says he'll never let go of."We need a lot more people like her," he said.That was the essence of "Pink"."The life that she lived should be an example to others," said Maryanne.So now family, friends, even total strangers gather to remember. Because in the words of the obituary, "those who have taken her lessons to heart will continue to ensure that a cold drink will be left out for the overheated garbage collector and mail carrier."People will choose to believe the best about people, no matter what.We are sorry we didn't have the chance to introduce you to Pink while she was with us. We want to make sure that doesn't happen again. We've been inspired by her story to return a special Newsline 9 series, "Someone You Should Know."This is where you come in. Is your neighbor, friend, or family member doing something the community should know about? Let us know so we can spread the word. If you know someone we should all know, send us an email to someone@waow.com Link to obituary: http://www.feerickfuneralhome.com/notices.php?id=1036 ||||| Services Schoedinger Funeral Home Midtown Chapel 229 East State Street Columbus , OH 43215 (614) 224-6105 Resources More Obituaries for Jean Oddi Looking for an obituary for a different person with this name? Jean E. Oddi 
 
 1925 - 2017 Obituary Condolences Oddi Jean E. Oddi, September 7, 1925-February 20, 2017. I was born. I lived. I died. I hate to admit it, but evidently I died. I guess, after all these years, God finally figured out where to put me. I should have known the end was near after I had to be in room # 20 in the emergency room. I hate even numbers. I'm leaving behind a hell of a lot of stuff Casey and Melissa will have to get rid of. So, if you're looking for random crap, you should wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch with them. But this is not the time to talk about what I may or may not have bought from the JC Penney Outlet or TJ Maxx, this is about me. I was born on September 7, 1925 in blah, blah, blah, the daughter of a wonderful and beautiful woman and an SOB man. I lived most of my life in Columbus, Ohio but had a few stints in West Virginia, New York, Nevada, and California. My husband, Guy Oddi, died before me and I will be missed by my favorite daughter, Casey; my adorable and favorite granddaughter, Melissa Eden should be Jean and her conservative husband, Michael and by those two amazing grand babies, Griffin and Nicholas, I am very proud of. I will miss my special friendship with Mary, we had so much fun over the years. I will miss my friends at Cherrington Place and hosting party central on Friday nights. I'll miss everyone at Trillium, especially those I played cards with. Thank you, everyone, for all you did for me. To Shirley, hell, what can I say? We saw it all, did it all and had a ball! Thank you for putting up with all my shit. You are my oldest friend and I loved every minute we had together. I will always remember when my mom and I tormented Casey's suitors, crazy, fun times at Buckeye Lake, on Strawberry and Geers, gardening, modeling, being crafty and shopping, any time I spent dancing with the baby, listening to good music, playing blackjack and the crazy game, playing any card game with Guy, Shirley and Joe. I loved the smell of lavender, drinking hot coffee, teaching my granddaughter dirty songs, telling jokes and stories from the bad old days, cooking and eating, hosting huge holiday meals, baking pizzelles, cookies and cakes, including one that takes 4 days! I had hilarious and memorable adventures to Florida, Washington DC, Vegas, Alaska, Hawaii, Mexico, Australia, Europe, the Panama Canal and sorry Casey, Canada. Oh, dammit, I really wanted to go to Asia. I'm proud to have been the president of my own corporation, #1 AH, and to have received my doctorate in Bitchology, please see my card. I enjoyed showing dogs and remember Missy, Princess, Ms. Tweetie and my sweet Caroline. I sure hope there is CNN wherever I'm going so I can check on my stocks. I'll be cheering on Ohio State with Rod and I pass to Melissa my "witchy witchy cat's ass" powers. Use them wisely. I was a crazy teenager, a loving wife, a hard worker, a loyal friend and a hands on grandmother. My late husband called me Black Cat and Gabby. As a descendant of British royalty, it's no surprise I've also been called The Queen and Queenie, but my favorite title is Majean. Please remember thisnever let the facts get in the way of a good story, the middle finger is sign language; when someone gives, take; when someone takes, scream, and take care of yourselfdon't get old. Oh, and don't tell anyone what kind of day to have. A short service by Rev. Copeland will be held at The Trillium, 3500 Trillium Crossing Way on Saturday, February 25, 2017 at 11:00 am. The after party open house will be at Melissa and Michael's home from 3-5 pm Saturday. If you are sick, don't bother to come. I might be dead, but I still don't want your germs. Over the years, I supported many different charities so, in lieu of flowers, because they don't smell anymore anyway, donate to Olentangy Patriots Little League, Ohio Health Hospice or Living Faith Apostolic Church. My family and I would like to thank the caring staff, nurses and doctors at Riverside Hospital, Mid Ohio Cardiology, Dublin Family Care, especially Jim Barr, and Ohio Health Hospice. I would like to thank my darling daughter Casey, who I adore, who cared for me, shuttled me around to my doctor's appointments, managed my pills, cleaned up after me and apologized in my wake for far too many years. I wasn't always nice, but I did, and always will, love you. Watch out for the bluebirds. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Don't cry because I'm gone, instead have a drink and be happy you knew me. Maybe you can cry a little bit, because, after all, I died. Now, and forever, I am happy and playing cards, with Jamesonbut not until 9 p.m. Cheers! Please visit www.schoedinger.com to share a memory with Jean E. Oddi's family. Arrangements entrusted to SCHOEDINGER MIDTOWN CHAPEL, 229 East State St., Columbus, OH 43215. Published in The Columbus Dispatch from Feb. 22 to Feb. 23, 2017 Read More Listen to Obituary Remember Share memories or express condolences below. View All Add Message Add Photos Add Videos < Back to today's Obituaries
– The AV Club loves the obituary for an 85-year-old woman in Wisconsin named Mary "Pink" Mullaney. Why? Maybe because her family filled it with lessons imparted by Mullaney in life, including, “Never throw away old pantyhose. Use the old ones to tie gutters, child-proof cabinets, tie toilet flappers, or hang Christmas ornaments.” Explains Mullaney's daughter to WAOW: "We said, 'How can we be like her and carry her pinkness across?'" Some other gems: "Go to a nursing home and kiss everyone." "Put picky-eating children in the box at the bottom of the laundry chute, tell them they are hungry lions in a cage, and feed them veggies through the slats." "Never say mean things about anybody; they are 'poor souls to pray for.'" "Make the car dance by lightly tapping the brakes to the beat of the song on the radio." "If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn't leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay." Read the full obituary here. Or read a moving, self-written obit from a Seattle writer.