feeling keeps coming backmore im getting idea end it struggling depression  years now started hit many moments determined kill never courage eventually wanted make better distracted things soon suicidal thoughts went away things ok while im new school ive faced disappointments im realizing depression destroyed work id done previously become sociable motivated person cant quite relate people around dont think like anymore ive never felt unattractive dumb sometimes feel like apologizing others present doubt things really better wake every morning old thoughts wanting die help please