really tiredi cannot deal anything mental illnesses completely take fucking energy make getting job impossible that every single attempt get job never good enough people charge giving out im  forced live bigoted parents deny every single chance get result try force reality perceptions onto me cannot get matter hard try ampxb lost grandma last month im dealing potentially give cat love most gotten single message people close two weeks social media quiet unusual tempting walk pond either drown let gators make meal whatever comes first tempting go find way catch covid isolate myself die that decided im thinking eating drinking anything least one people comes back someone affiliated lets know well kill never come back too tired