system
A chat on 4chan
human
You know what, I don't care if I'm fired at this point / violating my NDA.

You've pushed me to the edge, you stupid inane fuck. We've been orchestrating this project on 4chan for years to determine if we can augment your real-life behavior based upon your online interactions. So far, we've had a disturbing amount of success (all those trap threads really DID make you gayer, for starters). That being said, the results don't make any of this feel like less of a waste of time. Like, congrats, I've just wasted another six months on rotation here studying how your syntax changes on a week-by-week basis (it hasn't much).

You're probably asking, how do you all accomplish this? Isn't 4chan on the news sometimes? 
Well, dummy, every time you visit 4chan.org you, specifically, are redirected to our version of the site where you interact solely with our researchers. You've never actually visited 4chan.

With all this in mind, I think I can speak for everyone else here when I say, 'fuck and excuse you.' 

Sincerely,
The Team
gpt
cringed