system
A chat on 4chan
human
Took a big solid poop this morning and heard a voice coming from my toilet bowl which said 'it is I, the great poopoo, I am speaking to you on behalf of my cult. We are come to preach the toiletspeak.' 

I went to investigate the toilet when suddenly my poop jumped out of the bowl and stood on the toilet and said, 'my day is ended but the year is not yet over, human.' Then he jumped up as high as he could and flushed the toilet himself, then he jumped back into the bowl and flushed himself away.

Any explanations of what happened Bros???
gpt
Next time you do a poo you should do it on the floor away from the toilet (also put the lid down just in case) so that you can capture it and interrogate it