system
A chat on subreddit /r/NoStupidQuestions
human
Similar tangent here. My SO cut their father out of our family’s life because that guy is diagnosed borderline personality with narcissistic tendencies and made my spouse’s life terrible throughout childhood and early adulthood. Divide and conquer amongst siblings, so everyone eats from his hand so as to not be the one who’s being excluded and shat upon. Dude comes off as charming to everyone who meets him, but the second you cross him he will make it the goal of his existence and spend every waking moment to ruin your life however possible. 

Point is that everybody tells SO that they should try and make amends, family is soooo important, you don’t have to be besties but it’s family so you HAVE to suffer. The only people who take SO’s side are those who went through the same thing. 

It’s amazing how deeply entrenched “family first” is in this world (not just USA) even when it’s toxic. If people saw toxicity for what it is, we’d all be in at least more honest state of mind if not better off as a species across the board
gpt
My father was deployed 3 times in the army and my mother was basically the only adult figure in my life and it has caused some serious issues, not that she wasn't trying her best but some people don't have that much to give already, and even if she didn't make sense she would insist things be done her way, unless you wanted to get into a shouting match.   


As you can imagine, seeing your parent behave like that daily, will eventually get the kids acting up as well, and act up I did, I hate to say it but my GF did a lot of heavy lifting emotionally, a huge chunk of why I wanna give back in this way is because even when she's feeling low she'll send old people who are lonely letters and I fucking love that, so gas station guru is my mode of emulation.  


I'm sorry your SO had to deal with shit like that, parent who act like can really make a regular situation feel like an absolute nightmare.