system
A chat on 4chan
human
Back to Danni and Andy, they stop playing Runescape, and they both get me to start messaging them on their YouTube channel (Also with the name Fawkes29 - Last I checked, and it still exists-Fuck, I just checked again and it doesn’t anymore. Some guy named FawkesRSPS makes Runescape videos, but that’s not the same person). This was back before Google owned Youtube, and you could have your own Youtube page with a lot of customization, and you could send people messages and had an inbox and shit. So for whatever reason, Andy continues to use Danni’s YouTube as a way to speak to me. I think she actually did this because he refused to talk to her, and she still wanted to keep an eye on him, as well as to spy on our conversations. 

Danni at this point is probably the most invested in my friendship with her that she’s ever been. She clearly still cares about Andy, and she serves as my only real positive support system at this point. Most of my conversations with Andy begin to turn into arguments, and…Idk. I don’t remember a lot of it anymore, but it felt like he hated me. I still loved him as a brother, but I often got upset with him. He treated me pretty badly.
gpt
My mom sent me to a therapist who actually turned out to be a shitty old man who, I think in an attempt to try to get me to relate to him, would often talk about South Park. I got prescribed anti-depressants, but I ended up making my mom take them instead, as I felt she needed them more than I did. I guess she agreed, because she did actually start taking them. She probably figured if I was going to refuse anyway, she might as well.

Eventually Andy tells me Gabriel isn’t his real name, starts going by Michael for a while, and then finally tells me his name is Andy. Danni tells me that he’d recently started a band called Black Veil Brides. Yes. I wish I was joking, but this is what they were actually telling me. Do I believe it?

That one I’m not really sure on. One day, I tried to get Andy to prove he was who he was by tweeting something. Sure enough, a few moments later, he tweets about something random. I’m choosing to chalk that up to coincidence, because I refuse to believe that I was at one point connected to the lead singer of Black Veil Brides. Not that I hate their music or anything, but it just sounds pretty retarded and far-fetched to me. I dunno.
human
More time passes, I continue trying to keep contact with Danni and Andy, but they’re both around less and less. Then, I come to the realization that my mom can’t support my siblings and I all at once anymore. She’s working a shitty job on her own, and just can’t do it. I make the decision to move in with my father - Something I told her was because I wanted to do. I could see the way she was constantly stressed out, and how difficult and tight money was. 

Honestly, though, I’m not sure I would have made such a responsible decision today knowing what I do now. I thought my depression was bad when I lived with my mom, but with my dad, the same guy that molested me in the one place I felt safe…Man. With Danni and Andy essentially no longer speaking to me, no support systems, no friends, nothing, I went to live with my father. He and his girlfriend, and her spoiled, shitty brat of a son. The good news was I had my own room. The bad news was, I got emotionally abused a lot during this time, and my dad liked to do things like wait until I had fallen asleep, then run in and jump on my chest or slap the hell out of me all over my body. Things he said he was “just joking” with. I also ended up losing about ¾ of my right eardrum because I had a bad infection that he refused to take me to the doctor for.

Long story short, living with my dad was a new kind of hell. I attempted suicide twice during my stay with him, neither of which anybody ever found out about. Once, I slit my wrists and hoped I would bleed out - woke up and was totally fine. Other time, downed a bunch of painkillers, but I guess I didn’t take enough, idk.
I was a dumbass.
gpt
Anyway, the summer after I turned 14, I’m suddenly contacted by Andy again. He’s doing a bit better, and strangely enough, we get on Runescape to hang out again. He has a new boyfriend, and has made some friends. Life seems to be going okay for him, and we aren’t arguing. He introduces me to two people - Alec, and Brandon. Alec is around Andy’s age (17ish?) at this point, and Brandon is my age. 

As soon as Alec and I start talking, everybody knew. I don’t know how to explain it. It wasn’t a connection brother kind of thing - it was like, love at first sight? I know that sounds retarded. I think it sounds retarded, too. But I got this weird, special kind of tingly feeling in my chest the second he sent “hello” on fucking Runescape. I don’t know that you could make this shit up. Alec and I instantly hit it off, and before I know it, I’ve come to the realization that I’m probably bisexual, like Andy. Funnily enough, it’s at the same age he realized. Alec and I start an online relationship, and things go well for a little while. Brandon and I become good friends, and the CB (Connection Brothers) group Danni created is actually still going strong. They have a meetup in Georgia (Which I was unable to attend in person-so I attended via Andy’s laptop), and for whatever reason, people start speculating that Brandon and I are also connection brothers.
human
Brandon and I were fairly similar - but I don’t know that I ever really felt that we were connected in that way. At least, not like it was with Andy or with Alec. There is also talk of several of them developing special abilities. Danni supposedly could “know” the outcome of certain future events. It wasn’t like seeing the future, so much as having an understanding of it, was the best way she could describe it. I honestly don’t know, and I never developed anything similar, unless I’ve just never recognized it as something special, somehow. Andy claimed he was part angel, as well. Things started sounding way too crazy for my liking, but…

This time in my life, I leaned into these people really hard. They were the only light I had in a Hell full of darkness. I went along with some of the weird shit they said, because it meant that I still had friends I cared about. So it was pretty devastating when Alec said he was also going to join a band one day, and then never came back to talk to me again. Additionally, Andy and I begin arguing constantly again, and we also stop talking.
gpt