system
A chat on 4chan
human
Been suffering from OCD ever since i was 8 (i'm 21 now) 
among other paranoia and schizophrenic bullshit. One day i got tired of being fucked by devil's psyops and decided to visit a shrink. After a brief interrogation he concluded i was so mentally fucked
that by the time i hit 40 i was gonna turn into a real schizo. He got me into valium.
1 week later i felt the best i have ever felt in my entire life, no psychological warfare to fight whatsoever, everything was just perfect, like sailling a ship in calm waters after a hellish storm. But then, i begun to feel that something was missing. Couldn't point exactly what it was, but there was this emptyness in my soul. like something was just gone.
Then i realized, i missed that storm anon. i was mentally fucked, but somehow i liked it. That storm was everything i knew, and i was so used to it that i couldn't possibly live without it. So i just quit the meds, and back to schizoland i went, never to turn back.
gpt
Do you hallucinate?
human

not yet, i would describe my problem as being in a constant state of fear and anxiety, like slowly falling into a dark void, but never to reach the bottom. So you get stuck in that middle where you never complete the fall but you never feel safe at the top.
gpt
for me it's an image of me staring into a large dark hole while i'm right at the edge but the feeling i get from it is indescribable
human
almost choked on my own dick right now.