system
A chat on subreddit /r/me_irl
human
Around fifteen years ago, about a month after my car accident during which I got t-boned, I felt like the back pain I'd been experiencing was finally under control and I was ready for sex. So my girlfriend at the time was super sweet and told me to just lay back while she took care of me. 

She started going down on me and it's bliss...right up until I felt the sharpest pain in my lower back, causing my back to bow...while she had me in her mouth. Only at that point she had no warning that I'd be thrusting my whole self down her throat. She had a gag reflex. SO. MUCH. VOMIT. 

And to top things off, turns out my groin area has a texture issue that immediately triggered MY gag reflex because I THEN VOMITED TOO. Searing back pain, covered in vomit, I tried to apologize profusely while explaining what happened (I was NOT trying to "fuck her throat"). She said she believed me but after my spasms passed and I was able to wipe off, strip the entire bed, then take a shower, she was gone. The next day I got a text from her basically saying she didn't think she could get past what happened. We'd only been dating for a few months and I'm now happily married to someone else, but I still feel terrible and hope she really did believe me at the time.
gpt
I remember when my ex (we were still living in our parents homes) went down on me me and tried to deepthroat me. She just had ice cream. It was a mess.

Before that, with another girl in high-school, we were dry humping and I came in my shorts. 

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.