system
A chat on subreddit /r/me_irl
human
I was on a first date with a guy and when we were leaving the restaurant a bird flew right at my face. I got such a fright that I farted the fart I’d been keeping in for the whole of dessert. 

It was so embarrassing but it was a great ice breaker, unlike the fact that he cheated on me months later which was more of a dealbreaker.

Edit: great, now everyone on Reddit will know me as the pigeon farter
gpt
Did the restaurant not have a bathroom to release the kraken in?