system
A chat on subreddit /r/NoStupidQuestions
human
I have busted my ass in my career sometimes working 80 hour weeks for the ability to allow my wife to stay home and not have to work so we can always be home for our kids and not send them to daycare. Yes it’s a privilege and a luxury to do so but it was important to her so I’ve done everything in my power to make that happen.  So while my wife had the share of parenting because I worked often, what are alternatives? When I would get home from work I’d help clean up wherever needed doing, bathe my kids, and get them greet for bed so my wife could take a break. If she wants to go out with friends or do something alone I’ll move heaven and earth to ensure she gets to do it because I see/talk to adults on a regular basis for work 

I now work from home and share more duties. When my son was little I was never home because I had to work so much and suffered serious depression and honestly I wish I didn’t have to. I feel like I missed so much of his life and we have a relatively awkward relationship because of it. My daughter on the other hand, I’ve been a remote worker since she was born so I’m always around and our relationship is completely different.

My point to this is, there’s many more than you think that share the burden equally but our society and cost of living doesn’t allow it to be easy
gpt
You sound like my coworker. Great dad, great husband, just all around good dude. His kids are actually awesome but I dont envy him. He works himself to the bone so the kids have everything they need and so his wife was able to stay home with them when they were younger. 

I do not envy him. I know he really enjoys having kids, but I dont wanna have to work like that or have my husband do so (he's a teacher so not even an option).