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Are there any spells or rituals or mantras that can debrainworm a traumatized lapsed Muslim?

I'm a Muslim MTF Well, technically more like a lapsed Muslim, I haven't done a full salah since last January, and.... well desu I have a lot of sentimental attachment to Islam, like I love the lore and the culture and the general vibe that it has, but, I'm tired of the brainworms that come with Abrahamic religion. 'Is this Shirk? Will God forgive me for this, am I going to be in Hell for eternity or just a really long time', etc. etc. :|

I stopped doing salah because I have executive dysfunction and I can't handle the regimentation of time that daily salah requires. Also, I'm terrified of the consequences of not doing salah. I'm making God angrier every day and I literally can't stop doing it. So, to cope, I lean in hard on some demonic shit. I start doing psychedelics and summoning demons and hanging out with Pagan trans girls and having sexy shenanigans with them that like, gives me new sexual traumas even as it makes me remember old ones and now I'm miserable again and I'm terrified Allah won't even take me back. The angels cry. I feel like my relationship with God has become codependent and unhealthy.

So... How do I debrainworm myself at this point? Do I take the dharmhapill and try to dissolve my ego? wow sorry that was a ramble

pic sort of related
gpt
hahahah I fucking cant... this has to be a larp