system
A chat on subreddit /r/wallstreetbets
human
My $30k yolo didn't pan out.   
 Now I have to do all the work remodelling my house myself instead of paying poorfucks to do it.   
 Turns out physical labor is good for fatfucks and I'm down 40 lb.   
 The lord works in mysterious ways, like hanging drywall with screws and stepping on nails.

gpt
The market gods just added 10 years to your life expectancy, but you'll have to work till you're 70. Perfectly balanced