system
A chat on 4chan
human
Well I don't know if there's anything in particular I could ask. I don't think I can advise you in good conscious to become a monk, I think a man like you would do a lot of good for the world through a more worldly vocation, but ultimately that's not my call to make. However as an astrologer and an outside observer, I kind of think that this is more of a kneejerk reaction to having an existential crisis and I don't think you would be satisfied with a life of monkhood. Frankly - and I dont throw this word around a lot - I just don't think it's your karma. I think you should be a teacher of some sort, and I think based on your horoscope that that's the position where you would do the most good for the world. That doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be the same kind of teacher you thought you were going to be before, but it does mean that I can't recommend you retreat into a life of solitude and asceticism in good faith. I think your path is to spread the fire of knowledge to the eager minds of the world and to spread your wisdom to whomever may accept it, and I don't think you'll be able to do that as effectively from behind the monastery walls.

Beyond that, I've seen plenty of people find love in their thirties, and their forties, and even their fifties, and many of them had worse charts than yours. Having Saturn in this position is the archetypal indication of a late marriage, but since it's in good condition it should happen sooner in the early-mid thirties rather than some of the worse charts I've seen that happen in the forties or the fifties. Beyond that, the significations around marriage and partnership are pretty good aside from the indication of delays, so I think when it does happen you'll find it to have been worth the wait.

Don't give up hope on your Earthly life just because you haven't made it at thirty, or things aren't turning up how you planned. You aren't even halfway through life and it's just about to start getting good.
gpt
I appreciate your frank input. I agree that the conclusion to become a monk is extreme, but I think in context of the past few years makes more sense, and what my path in academics taught me. I dropped out of my phd program years ago now, and have been living it up as a neet. As sad as that is, it's the happiest I've ever been in adult life. The lack of material things, living frugally, and being mostly alone with people just close by didn't bother me at all. I craved freedom, free time, and a levity that academics categorically didn't allow and neetdom does. I am trying to be careful of not letting the path to becoming a monk be a kneejerk reaction to my distaste for worldly responsibilities. I hope to straighten that aversion to responsibility through the path to become a monk, both in meditation practice and weakening and renunciation of desires. 
But that moment I mentioned  here was a crisis, but not existential; that had happened long before and had left me with an incredibly bleak outlook on life and reality if the world was just material, which my academic pursuits said it was. I think that moment might also be like what anon says here  , in that this moment was also a maturation. Of finally realizing and accepting what I value, and why worldly life has brought me so much suffering.

I do still deeply hold the desire to teach, and to help people, which I have to be incredibly careful about while starting on this path. But I firmly believe that if I am to help anyone in this regard I must first develop myself. Only once I am developed can I in good confidence try to help others. 

Reconciling how I feel about that lack ever having a real, serious relationship, is ongoing. It has caused me tremendous pain. But I am coming to believe, and realize, that I can't fix something internal with something external. In love's case, giving up on it might be because I've never had it.
human
cont.

As for success, money, status, ambition, I am giving those up because there is no satisfaction to be found there. Also to add, maybe I shouldn't yet, but I do hope that if I do continue down this path I will be able to help and be a teacher one day. Just in the things I've come to think actually matter.

If I could ask, do you have any general advice on spiritual matter, like strengths or weaknesses? Or anything really. To be honest my spiritual side was completely undeveloped before this change.
gpt
Have a look at the Vedas anon, I get the feeling you'd really like it. Bhagavad-gita and the Upanishads are some of the greatest gifts mankind has received. 
I'm not saying this to proselytize, I genuinely think you'd get a lot out of these scriptures. More specifically, the Gita is unique in that it is an extremely relatable text to those that undertake the reading of it. It's unlike holy scriptures that ask challenging metaphysical questions regarding the universe, the Gita can be understood by all, and is a manual on how to live in a dharmic way. 
That reaction to be overwhelmed and renounce your worldly responsibilities, the inner conflict between what the intellect knows it should do and what the heart feels like doing is actually the context to which the Gita is based upon. Arjuna's and yours stories sound very similar. 
Just a suggestion.
human
Thanks, and I think I'll take you up on that. I've seen and looked a little into (for context) the Bhagavad-gita and had been interested, just from browsing this board for a while.
gpt
In my opinion you should stay away from anything eastern related. 
As foreigner mentioned, you should stick to traditional philosophical systems and if you're to go into esoterism, there's always western ones, of all kinds, they are just a lot less known unlike the Buddha and Hindu new age trash that is everywhere which is egoistical in its essence.