system
A chat on /r/wallstreetbets
human
That already happens if you turn on auto recognize workout feature. It will record it as a WALK because your heartrate is elevated.   
    
 This is all assuming you fucking chromosome collectors can last longer than 5 or 6 minutes of course.

gpt
Your heart rate increases enough to register as a workout from rubbing one out? How bad is your heart health that prolonged moderate activity increases your heart rate into a target exercise range?