system
A chat on subreddit /r/me_irl
human
So first I’m just leaving my underwear and pants on the floor. This gives me the mobility advantage. Then I’m going to fight him. But, jokes on him because years of arguments with my partner then makeup sex means I get horny when I fight. It’s a Pavlovian response at this point I can’t help it. That really just means one thing. This intruder is fighting for a lot more than just my stuff. The fact that my butt is dirty is just something I’ll deal with later.
gpt
I like how you add the psychic damage to your overall attack moveset by using your classically conditioned boner.

I also agree that leaving the underwear off gives an additional mobility and morale advantage/disadvantage to you and the burglar, respectively.

However I think that leaving the underwear on the floor is a missed opportunity.  You could use it like a garotte or whatever those choke things are.  Alternately, and this would only take moments, scoop the poop into the underwear or sock and use it as a flail. 

Combines the poison damage with further psychic damage, especially if you use warcry of "daddy made poopy!" as you lash out with it