system
A chat on 4chan
human
Hey, /k/ tourist here. I was wondering if there is any sort of funny magic or other esoteric shit I could do to get some special abilities.

I specifically need three things:
1. High speed regeneration of bodily damage. (Think Wolverine.)
2. Dark vision, or the ability to see in full clarity in complete darkness without the assistance of man made technology.
3. The ability to move in complete or total silence while traveling at normal speeds.

These three abilities will allow for me to not have to use night vision or flashlights, I wont have to worry about being shot or otherwise injured, and remaining unnoticed will be much less of a concern. Does anyone have anything that can help with any of this?
gpt
Here's some fucking 'magic' for you, champ.

The spell of the push up. You do this spell by lying on your stomach and then using your arms to push yourself up until your arms are extended, then you lower yourself until you're on your stomach again. Repeat this spell 25 times a day, adding 1 repetition until you hit 200 a day. This will improve your combat ability to strike using your arms.

Number two is the specll of the free squat. Start this spell by standing with your feet about shoulder width apart, and then bend your legs until you achieve a squatting position, then straighten your legs until you're standing straight up again. Repeat this spell 50 times and add 1 rep a day until you're doing 300 a day. This spell improves your leg strength and cardiovascular ability for fighting.

Finally, use the spell of the boxing gym to hone your combat skills. Do this spell by finding a boxing gym and get a trainer to teach you how to fight.
human
Based bodytemplefag.