system
A chat on 4chan
human
Someone much more knowledgeable should have more guidance, but for starters sounds like you should get in touch with an appropriate god that can help you deal with your problems and guide you. I think for people like you having a god around to protect you that you learn from and worship would be good. Also read up on banishment and focus on your self worth and importance. Blind kittens still deserve love and protection but you have to demand better both of yourself and what you're receiving.
gpt
Just wanna talk with it, no idea if its a parasite or incubus or whatever