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Revenge of the Millennials
Aaron Clarey

Perhaps it was Starbucks, or perhaps some obscure Minneapolis coffee store in the 90's, but I'm pretty sure the first instance of a company using politics as advertising was a coffee store.  I didn't understand it at first as I thought it was common sense you didn't introduce politics or religion into business was bad for business.

Why alienate 1/2 of your potential customer base with politics?

Why alienate 4/5ths of your potential customer base with religion?

Not only was it bad business talking about politics or religion when you're trying to sell somebody something, but it's also rude to sermonize or lecture your clients about anything.  Serve them their cup of joe, do it for a fair price, do it with a smile, and leave them the fuck alone about politics, religion or anything else personal in their lives.  

But now corporations sermonizing the rest of the world about leftist politics has gone viral.  And it behooves the question why.  Why would corporations take such a risk?  Why would corporations be so foolish?  And you can call me an ole fuddy duddy, by why are corporations so arrogant and rude?  How dare you assholes lecture me about anything outside the purchase of your product or service, you smug, cocky, arrogant assholes?

At first I speculated it was because republicans and conservatives are not only pussies, but lazy.  Republicans will never boycott their precious Starbucks.  Conservatives will never give up their precious Apple products.  They can't wait to mortgage their house so their precious children can attend worthless liberal arts colleges to brainwash their own children to hate them.  It's almost as if Republicans hate themselves so much they can't wait to prostrate themselves in front of corporations that arguably hate them more.

But this is only part, if any of the explanation.  There's no advantage to "punish" or "mock" non-leftists from a marketing sense.  So why risk bringing politics into it at all?  There had to be a reason, an upshot, a positive side to choosing socialist/leftist politics, alas there was something more afoot.  Something compelling corporations to take (what would seem a foolish) action and bring politics into their advertising.

And there was.

The Millennials.

A Valueless (Though Highly Profitable) Generation

Millennials are the largest generation alive today.  They are also in that "sweet spot" of being young enough to still be "hippish," BUT also old enough to make money to spend (well...ok, let's be honest, BORROW money to spend).  They are  the largest consumer group in the US and the western world both by numbers and dollar volume amount.  They should be the most targeted group of consumers by corporations around the world, and they are.  But for all their youth, numbers, and purchasing power, they have one tragic and horrific flaw.

They have no value.

The Millennials by all accounts are a failed generation.  A failed crop.  The butt-end of a joke in American history.  They're so bad, it's now tiring and old hat to make fun of them.  Like the boomers, it's almost perfectly legal to discriminate against them.  And now that most of them are out of college and into the real world, most of the non-Millennials don't even bother making fun of them because life is kicking the ever-living shit out of them.  About the only true thing that is annoying about them is their constantly whining for a bail out of money they fully intended to steal from other people in the form of student loans, but this aside and bar a Super Bowl-51-Tom-Brady-esque comeback, they will die a generation, arguably more pathetic than the Baby Boomers.

They are truly valueless.


In every way, shape, and fashion, the Millennials have no value, core, soul, or purpose.  The generation truly offers nothing of value to society or history. 

How Do You Sell to Nobody's?

This presents a problem to corporations.  How do you sell to the largest consumer group that has no values?  How do you sell to a generation that has no definition?  On what grounds do you promote and propagate your wares to a generation who's only defining characteristics are living at home, demanding bailouts, worthless college degrees, tattoos, and soy?  And the answer is very clear.


In every generation before the millennials, it was pretty clear what grounds marketers and corporations would advertise their products based on.  Strength, excellence, beauty, achievement, wealth, successful, fashion, and ease.  Your product would make you more beautiful.  More sexy.  More intelligent.  More manly/feminine.  The products would IMPROVE you as a person (or at least sell you on those grounds).  But the millennials have no traditional core values that used to drive humanity.  They do not care about excellence, they care about acceptance.  They do not care about beauty or physique, they care about fat acceptance.  They do not champion toil and overcoming hardship, but hand-me-outs and BGI.  And they do not value beauty.  They merely value the lowest common denominator.  And the reason they value the lowest common denominator is because the only value they've ever been given has been leftist politics.  Politics of envy. Politics of laziness.  Politics of parasitism.  Politics of sloth.

You can't even say it's politics as much as it is really just a rationalization to excuse not having to work for a living. And since they've been given nothing else in life. all they celebrate is their politics.  It is the only thing of "value" they have.  It is their only religion.

And corporations know this.

A Very Special Hell

The problem is corporations don't care about this hypocrisy or laziness or utter worthlessness of politics as a "core value" to a generation or society.  Worse, these marketers know that the largest consumer group today is a generation of people who only have politics as their sole value in life.  SO while to old fuddy duddies like us who want products advertised to us on their merits and how they will improve our lives, corporations do not care since we are no longer the largest consumer market.  They will be rude, they will be insulting, and they are going to force feed politics into every ad, every job posting, every commercial, and every advertisement you see.  While the rest of us have jobs, careers, families, love, physique, excellence, or achievements in life, we are currently doomed to be assaulted with advertisements for

"going green"
"orgainics/gluten free/non GMO"
"fair/free trade"
"open borders/Anti-Americanism"
"anti-male/pro-feminist movements"

because that is all the millennials have in life.  Their worthless religion of politics

Sadly, it's not going to be relegated to commercials or super bowl ads.  Because nearly every major institution and industry in the US also wants a piece of that millennial borrow-and-spend money.

The Democrat party
They psychology profession 

They all want the millennials to part with their money.  And the only way they can achieve that is by playing to the only thing MIllennials have in life - socialist politics.

This means for the rest of us adults, we are going to be forced to tolerate, endure, suffer, and listen to a cacophonous and complete echo chamber of childish, parasitic socialist politics in nearly every aspect of life.  The media, our movies, our TV shows, our education system, our government, and yes, every your groceries or morning cup of joe.  It is guaranteed that instead of respecting us as adult consumers, they are going to force feed leftist politics into every facet of our lives because that is the only way they can get millennials to part with their money.

I personally avoid most of this by being am minimalist.  I do not shop at Target.  I do not attend sports games.  I go to an increasingly rare movie.  I do not watch TV or news.  And I will never attend a sexual harassment training seminar. I simply refuse to accept or tolerate a company or any other institution lecturing me about politics in a thinly veiled marketing attempt to dupe dopey millennials out of their money.  But even then, it is so thorough and complete (because the brainwashing of the millennials in K-college education was also so thorough and complete) it is pretty much unavoidable.  You, me, and every other non-millennial American are doomed to be pelted and berated with condescending leftist politics for the rest of our days because millennials need said politics to have any point or purpose in life.

Well Played Millennials

It is here I must tip my hat to the millennials.  Because as much as I hate their parasitic asses (and they are parasitic because socialists always are), they never stood a chance given the horrific, if not outright absent parenting their baby boomer and Gen X parents failed to give them.  The millennials did not grow up in a vacuum.  They were molded and formed by they-yet-as-of-then shittiest generations America had ever generated.  Parents simply refused to parent.  Parents simply refused to tell them hard truths.  Parents didn't want to spank or punish or put in the hard work that was required to be "bad cop."  And parents did absolutely NOTHING in terms of preparing millennials for financial and personal fiscal management.  In short, the parents of millennials simply wanted to fuck, breed, and then leave their kids to the government or the schools to be raised (because remember, education and careers are more important than your children).  And the results can hardly be shocking.  Surprise, surprise, when you don't have stable nuclear families, and outsource your kids to the public schools, all that generation will know is government care, not parental care.  It's no shock socialism is all they have.

But the rest of us will pay the price for failing to bring up the millennials properly.  We will pay more in taxes (whether we bail them out of student loans or they die with a balance).  We will pay the price in terms of socialism as they follow the thorough indoctrination and programming they were brainwashed to have.  They will continue to value politics over human interaction, experience, and love.  And yes, until most of us die, you can expect Nike to use Colin Kapernick to hate on America, Target to continue their hatred of white straight males, colleges and universities to be money scamming operations of Marxism, James Bond to become a black female, and Starbucks to insist we have a conversation about race.  Every facet and corner of your life will be infected and infiltrated with leftist politics because that's all the largest American generation has.  And I'd like to say you didn't bring it upon yourselves, but you did.

Enjoy the decline.

Hello, I’m Aaron Clarey and I’m an asshole.

Let me be short and succinct.


The only thing is…I’m an asshole.




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