All I wanna do is have some fun, but I can't because the to do list is a mile long.

If you've been following this blog-o-rama, you might sense some themes to which I keep circling back. They include, but are not limited to:

  • Domestic life mixed with a musician's life is tricky, but whatever
  • Songs, songs, songs I love songs and writing songs.
  • Clinical depression in five paragraphs with some gospel sunshine in the last sentence

Those are my go-tos. Sometimes I have an amazing adventure that breaks things up a bit or I go to a music thingy and recap how great it was and how much I love music. Today I'm going to touch upon all four main themes. Here we go.

1. Just recently I got messages from two different people telling me they were inspired by my work and it motivated them to continue in their own artistic pursuits. Wow just wow. Do I want people to reach for the moon? Heck yes!!! Are people doing it because they see me sloppily trying to do my thing? I guess so! This calls for many exclamation marks, you guys, but I'm not going to do it. But in my heart, know that I'm using a ridiculous amount of exclamation marks to signify how wonderful it feels to know I can help others feel validated in their own creative lives. Do it. Dream big. I will too.

2. Choir, Lincoln choir, boy scouts, cub scouts, Sunday school, Christmas program, Chime choir, youth group, chores, auto maintenance, holiday plans, Tae Kwon Do, band, video club, waitressing. All of it plus trying to stay on top of music business stuff is getting me down, man. I'm reading this book that claims we keep ourselves from achieving our goals through "noble distractions." Noble distractions are those things that we say we need to do so we selflessly  sacrifice our true goals. I relate very much to this idea. And life is hard.

3. Songs. I've got 12 songs to write and no time to write them. Again, if I forsook everything else I could just clear off my schedule to do what I really love to do. So why am I not doing it? I'm friggin' terrified, you guys. Help. Any ideas on how not to be afraid? I think I know the answer is to pick up the guitar and start writing. Nothing would be better, but the lack of open time spaces is serving as an excuse. Not cool, life. Not cool.

4. Finally. Dude. Straight talk. I'm drowning. If I were a completely different human with a completely different set of skills I would be better suited for this world. I just posted a review of my record on facebook where the best line is "This one's mellower than I like and "The Shooter" and "Revolver" are upsetting, but acoustic music fans may enjoy it." That's nice and honest.  I'm dropping all the balls, but I'm trying. I am not doing nothing. Just close to nothing. And the ray of sunshine is that I'm gonna left right left myself into a better state of mind until the day when I'm doing it better than I am now. Left right left until then. Some days that's what winning looks like. Peace.