100% FAIL SAFE!Failure: Assuredly Impossible! (Lost Stability Automatically - First Energising!) Charles H. Montgomery, Jr. Inciders obtaned this Ofishyule Seekret Docyoumeant of the SIRC (Sertintlee Infinnitlee Relieabell Corporation) "From page 123 of the SIRC (Proprietary Info): 'This widely advertised, THINGAMAJIG has specifications (inside parentheses are actual performance): Failure: Assuredly Impossible! (Loses Stability Automatically - First Energising). ONLY USE IN NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MORTAL COMBAT ."Furthermore, because of our marketers' keen insight, we sold hundreds where the soldiers used THINGAMAJIGs only as specified. AS WAR GROWS SO SIRC'S CAPITAL GROWS"
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