Monday, March 28, 2011

He Was Hurt?

Just letting you know I was in the ER today. I toar up my hand pretty bad in an exercise today but I am fine. I am soar but fine. Dont worry I will talk to you in the morning. I love you very much.

That was the message waiting for me on my Facebook page from Tom.

First of all, I find it amusing that he spells exercise right but not ‘tore’ or ‘sore.’ I love him and he’s intelligent it’s just, his spelling is....

....horrible. So it’s no wonder that Tommy is struggling with spelling. I checked over a paper he wrote and he spelled ‘enough’ as ‘enuf.’ And he got your and you're mixed up and I swear to you now, he won't be an adult who doesn't know the difference.

Honestly, the spelling wasn’t the first thing I noticed. I saw the word ‘ER’ and immediately pictured Tom with his face blown off and a knife coming out of his head—then I realized I was picturing an episode of Grey’s Anatomy and needed to chill.

Still. Why would he leave me a vague message like that? Why not send me a message explaining exactly what happened? Why leave me to panic? He knows I panic. He knows I picture the worst. He knows I have an OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION.

What if he did lose a body part?

What if his dog (he’s a K9 Handler) bit off his hand?

How did he tear up his hand to begin with?


He’s lucky he doesn’t have a telephone in Korea. Otherwise I’d have called him up and demanded to know more information.

As it was, I had to wait hours until he came on Skype.

Was his hand half off?

So. Okay. He was doing an exercise. And somehow he tore up his hand. But how? He said he was fine, so that was good. Only..what if he said that so I wouldn’t panic? Maybe he’s missing an arm and didn’t want to alarm me by going, “Hi. I’ve lost an arm, but I’m okay.”

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Tom came online. I immediately called him over Skype and the second the camera clicked on I went, “I’d love you even if you only had one hand! Or no hands!”

I expected Tom to be moved and to stare back at me with only one arm intact. But no. He still had two. And he was looking at me as though I had a thong on my head.

“Amber, I didn’t lose a hand,” he began slowly as though speaking to a mental patient. Or Gary Busey.

“But your Facebook message—”

“Was just informing you that I tore up my hand. Not that I LOST it.” He lifted up both hands and they were both wrapped in a green bandage.

“Oh, my poor gimp!” I exclaimed.

“Gimp? Amber, it’s no big deal. We were in the middle of an exercise, my hand got caught on my gun, then my dog dragged me a little bit and—”

“You were DRAGGED?”

“I’m okay,” Tom insisted. “Just sore.”

“You could have explained all of that in a longer message,” I fumed. “How would you like it if I just left you a message saying, ‘I’m in the ER. Love you!’ That would be annoying, right?”

“I’d assume you were in there because you burned something in the kitchen,” Tom replied in a snarky tone.

Hmph. I shouldn’t have worried so much about him. He didn’t even CARE that I was in the ER..only I really WASN’T in the ER but still.

“I’m glad you still have both of your hands,” I said. “But I’d love you even if—”

Tom rolled his eyes. “My face blew off. Yes. I know. You’ve told me.”

“Well, it’s true. Just as I’m sure you’d love me if my face blew off.”

Tom made a face. “Why would your face blow off?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. A cooking accident? A monkey pulled it off? Only in that case, it wouldn’t be blown off, it would be pulled off, which ew, now I’m feeling sick.”

“Okay, look, we’ll just both agree that we’ll love each other if we have no face. Now can we stop talking about this?” Tom begged.


Isn’t it great though? Tom and I will love one another even without a face.

It’s sort of romantic.

In a creepy sort of way.


  1. I would totally react like that and think the worst had happened too!

  2. Glad he wasn't hurt worse! Men are SO vague about stuff like that and we need all of the details!!

  3. Poor Tom...glad he still has hands...and a face! :)

  4. Wait!

    He told you he tore up his HAND.

    But BOTH hands were bandaged! So he still didn't do very good with the communication thingy.


  5. Awww - it's like if Stephen King wrote a romance novel.

    My mom can't spell at all - she says that's why God invented Spell Check.

  6. i have to say i'm touched. but what if you needed a mastectomy? trap him into THAT!

  7. Romantic and creepy. And Tyler would leave me a message like that too. SO irritating.

  8. Too funny! My imagination would have been working overtime, too, and my husband (who is spelling challenged as well) would totally not get why. Men.

  9. I love the conversations that you have with Tom- they are hilarious and remind me of conversations I have with my husband! Glad he is okay!

  10. Funny how he knows you could end up in the ER from a cooking accident. So glad he's ok and will love you without a face even!

    I'd have panicked and imagined the worst too!

  11. Good lord. Even withOUT your crazy imagination he should have been SPECIFIC. You'd think our husbands would learn by now, you know?

    Glad he's not handless. Or faceless.

  12. The you're and your confusion drives me nuts too and while I've always been a good speller, sometimes I'll check back over something I've written and see that I've done something stupid like use here for hear or vice versa when I very much know the difference. WTH?

    Glad Tom didn't lose a hand!

  13. my husband is an awful speller too. You should see my shopping list, so awful.

    Glad your husband is OK

  14. I am glad he is okay, but I would have freaked the freak out after getting a note that that (once I completed an appropriate spell check of course).

  15. Men are so vague! I'm glad Tom was okay and your imagination was wrong.
    My husband did that once over a car wreck (being vague). I was not amused when I got there and his truck was upside down in a ditch with the windows busted out and the cab crunched up.

  16. Glad he is ok. Yes that message would be annoying.

  17. Well, if you had no faces then you wouldn't be able to see the fact he blew off his hands. See how nice that worked out?? LOL

    Now seriously, I'm glad he's OK. I can't imaging having to wait for him to Skype to find out. Hugs.

  18. Ok, first I had to laugh, not because of your husband's hand (and I am really sorry he was injured!) but the way you had y our conversation! That would totally be me and my husband, I mean exactly down to the "yes I know you'd love me if I blew my face off because you have told me" lol that is SO us! When my husband was in Iraq it had been over a week and not a peep from him (he normally tried to call once a week if possible, this was in early 2003 and there wasnt' good communication and NO internet) well late one afternoon this really weird number came up on my phone and my husband says, I am ok but I am in the hospital - WHAT? Did you get hit with an IED? What is wrong? Uh he had kidney stones - what? really? but he sounded so drugged up and out of it - he was in a tent hospital in the middle of the Iraqi desert in the middle of war. I was freaking out. So as I read your post I can totally sympathize and I would have reacted the SAME exact way! Oh and my man and my son can't spell either. lol

  19. I'm glad that Tom's okay and I totally understand where you are coming from. My husband says everyone is "fine" regardless. No details, nothing. As far as the spelling goes? I'm with you. When my husband and I first started dating, I got an email that called me sweat muffins. I still get emails saying he's going to launch for a while and will be back later. Its a good thing I know what he's trying to say :)

  20. I'm glad to hear Tom's hands are both intact and doing well. I think it's romantic that you'd love each other without faces too - haha. Hopefully he leaves more detailed FB messages next time.

  21. It is. But if nothing else, it's most definitely a testament to the strength of your marriage.

    But still...shame on Tom.

  22. I'm glad he wasn't hurt, but I, too, would have panicked!

  23. Love his message quick and to the point! Just the facts...I'm glad he is okay!

  24. I love that you guys have talked about your faces being blown off! You two are so romantic ;).

  25. LOL! I'm in the ER, Love ya! Hehe! Funny post. I'm glad Tom is okay!

  26. Yikes! Scary stuff. Glad it really was no big deal. And so sweet that you'll love each other without faces!

  27. i would be super peeved if my husband left a vaugue ER message. men!

  28. Awee, he just didnt want to worry you but ending up doing so anyway by LTI. I hate the opposite. Like when someone gets a paper cut and acts like they lost a pint of blood.


  30. Argh! I would be panicked too if I got a message like that. Sounded pretty nasty anyway. And yes, it is romantic in a creepy way that you will still love each other with no faces... ?!?!

  31. OMG, sometimes a fervid imagination is not so good, you know.

  32. I giggle when I read whisperingwriter on the bottom of your posts. When I picture you skyping with Tom, you are never whispering.

    I am glad you both have a face still, it makes kissing easier.

  33. Poor guy! And you made it sound scary when you said his hand got stuck on his gun. Did he shoot his hand??


  35. Hmmm, I wonder if the Man and I should develop a no face clause. we've already agreed that we are allowed to break up if either one of us becomes really fat. Shallow? Yes we are. ;)

  36. So first I just wanna say glad Tom is ok.... because now you can kill him. My mind would totally have gone to where your's went too.

    I have to say that I love the banter between the two of you, you are freakin hilarious!

  37. I would have been freaking out too!
    I absolutely love that you called him a gimp!

  38. MEN! Their spelling and their communication methods suck wind!

    Glad to hear that he still has both his hands.

  39. Faceless amputees in love...sounds like a good Disney Movie ;)

  40. Lol, it is romantic... and yep, a little bit creepy, but that's okay! I am glad to hear he is alright!

  41. Ha!

    Glad he's okay - you know, guns and dogs and toar up hands and all.

    But just like a guy to leave a "don't freak out but I'm not telling you all the details so I know you're gonna freak out anyway" message like that, no?

  42. what is it with men?? don't they know we need DETAILS!!?? but creepily romantic that you both love your faceless spouses :)

  43. OMG.....I would've freaked too!
    Glad to hear he's Okay!

    You two are true romantics....faces blown off! hehehe

  44. I seriously LOVE your blog! I will be back for more when I am not so tired and needing to go to bed. You are so entertaining. LOVE IT!!!

    I rofl at this!

  45. Just like a man not to give enough detail in a message!

  46. Glad he is okay!

    (And I totally can't spell either - but I do know the difference between your and you're.)

  47. My Hubby tells our kids that one of the main reasons he married me is that I can spell. Isn't THAT romantic? So glad your sweet Hubby is okay!


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