Premier League Bingo: How many points can you win from this weekend's fixtures?

Jose Mourinho
Jose Mourinho and Antonio Conte go head-to-head at Old Trafford

Leicester City vs Stoke City (Saturday, 12.30pm)

5 points: Riyad Mahrez scores his first Leicester goal since his self-imposed exile as the hosts run out 3-1 winners against a tepid Stoke. 

15 points: A collective malaise continues to engulf England's World Cup goalkeeping candidates, as Jack Butland lets one slip under his body. 

25 points: Saido Berahino sleeps in a goal net rather than a duvet on Friday night in an attempt to re-acquaint himself with the onion bag. 

Bournemouth vs Newcastle (Saturday 3pm)

5 points: Newcastle crash back down to earth after their victory over Man Utd, slumping to a 2-1 defeat in the Matt Ritchie derby. 

15 points: Jermain Defoe scores his ninth career goal against Newcastle from the penalty spot. 

25 points: Mike Ashley tries to book another table at a north London Indian restaurant in the hope that someone, anyone, will take the club off his hands.

Brighton vs Swansea (Saturday, 3pm)

5 points: Two resurgent teams share the spoils on the south coast in a 1-1 draw that does neither many favours.

15 points: Swansea centre-back Alfie Mawson is this week's recipient of the 'get him on the plane' treatment. 

25 points: Mike Dean and Carlos Carvalhal wrestle for the limelight at the Amex Stadium, and there is only going to be one winner in that contest.  

Carlos Carvalhal has charmed the Premier League Credit: Reuters

Burnley vs Southampton (Saturday, 3pm)

5 points: Sam Vokes scores a late equaliser against the club he supported as a boy. 

15 points: Wesley Hoedt continues to stray from the sublime to the ridiculous in a performance that leaves us none the wiser about his quality. 

25 points: Burnley fail to win another Premier League game, yet stay in seventh where they shall remain for eternity.

Liverpool vs West Ham (Saturday, 3pm)

5 points: Jurgen Klopp's side have this match won by half-time as West Ham are drawn closer to the relegation zone. 

15 points: Loris Karius keeps another clean sheet as he continues his one man to crusade to prove Gary Neville wrong. 

25 points: David Sullivan vows to continue West Ham's hi-tech scouting revolution by acquiring some VHS tapes of the opposition before matches. 

West Brom vs Huddersfield (Saturday, 3pm)

5 points: Salomon Rondon's late header earns Alan Pardew and West Brom a crucial three points. 

15 points: Jonny Evans is given back the captain's armband, which he will with pride until his summer transfer to a top half team. 

25 points: Pardew imposes a Saturday night curfew so strict that the players are home in time for Casualty. 

Watford vs Everton (Saturday, 5.30pm)

5 points: After heavy losses at Wembley and the Emirates, Everton once again fall foul of the curse of the north circular by losing at Watford.

15 points: Richarlison bags his first league goal since November 19th. 

25 points: After saying he returned to Everton for 'the pressure', Wayne Rooney's season now consists of 10 virtually meaningless league games. 

Crystal Palace vs Tottenham Hotspur (Sunday, 12 noon)

5 points: It takes until the last 20 minutes to break Palace's stubborn resistance but Spurs do enough to secure a 2-1 win that takes them within a point of Man Utd. 

15 points: Palace are christened 'the Wilfried Zaha team' as they continue to struggle without their talismanic winger. 

25 points: The home sponsors name Tottenham right-back Serge Aurier as Palace's man of the match. 

Manchester United vs Chelsea (Sunday, 2.05pm)

5 points: Another big match involving United results in an underwhelming 90 minutes of turgid fare and a 1-1 draw at Old Trafford. 

15 points: Jose Mourinho and Antonio Conte almost come to blows in the technical area in scenes we very much want to see yet are told by our television overlords that we do not. 

25 points: Paul Pogba does a Nasser Hussain and points to the back of his shirt in a pointed message to Graeme Souness in the studio.