Tag Archives: Grandma

If I Ruled the World

Unless you’ve had your head buried in the sand over the last week or so you will have heard that today is voting day for the US Presidential elections and the estimated £1.4bn, two-year election campaigns will come to and end. With all the world’s problems imagine what £1.4bn could have paid for!


(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Anyway I got to thinking about what my policies would be on the off-chance I decided to give up the stay at home mum gig and have a crack at running for office. Never mind that I’m not American, I don’t know an awful lot about politics and I have so much baggage that no media rep would touch me. But hey we can pretend right? What follows is my take on what needs fixing.

1. I will make sure that all public transport is accessible for parents with strollers and when I say accessible I don’t mean a teeny little spot where you can haul out your sleeping child then try to collapse your stroller with one hand while holding a grumpy, wailing child and shopping in the other. It’s madness and makes for very stroppy parents. Take note Virgin, Arriva, Stagecoach etc

2. Old people will be taken care of properly. Okay so not every person over the age of 65 is a sweet old granddad who buys his grandchildren Wether’s Originals or takes them fishing. Some old women are like Grandma in George’s Marvellous Medicine (my fave book ever) and can be pretty scary. But they’ve been through a lot, and even after surviving god knows how many wars and rationing and the 70’s sometimes the hardest thing to deal with is loneliness. I will implement a comprehensive care system that makes sure older folk allowed to keep their dignity despite needing care in their later years.

3. Shoes will be tax-free. That’s a bit daft I know but we all need shoes, have you seen the state of the pavements out there? We can maybe do without toothpaste or something (?) but not shoes, no.

4. Back to semi-serious stuff. Jeremy Kyle will be taken off our screens and he will be the CEO of a network of national finishing school’s/college’s that teaches the youngsters of today how to behave. For instance; if you are offered a job that you are fit and trained to do you will do it. You will then be paid for your work. If you don’t do it there are no benefits for you. Work = money. No work = no money. Obviously I will work on the economy to make sure there are jobs.

5. Cigarettes are going to be completely banned. We’re constantly reminded of how family, friends and people we know in the community are battling cancer. It’s all around us without having to go looking for it. Get some gum or some patches or a white stick and stub nicotine out. There is no excuse.

Now that concludes my pearls of wisdom (didn’t take much huh?) and I found it stressful just writing five points.  We’ve all got opinions on how the country is going to pot but at the end of the day I wouldn’t want to be in charge. If I ruled the world I’d rule that someone else should take over immediately.


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