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Friday, April 13, 2018

From Pink House Defenders to the Antis (as in the plural of anti-womyn's-rights) Women

I spend most of the day today, before my reading this evening, at the only clinic in the entire fuckin state of Missifuckinssippi that provides the option of abortion services to womyn.

I join a couple of other kickass defenders, all white, and a Black male security guard who has surprised me with his staunch support and total comprehension of womyn's rights.

The antis are there as well. One particularly obnoxious mean white woman with white hair bright as pristine paper, thrusts a flyer out to the mostly young womyn approaching the clinic as she authoritatively declares she has info they (she disparagingly spits out nodding towards the clinic door) won't give her inside. When the womyn ignore or refuse as they continue to walk briskly behind the tall wire fence that separates them from the anti, she starts yelling "You're murdering your baby! That's your baby you're killing". When that doesn't deter the womon, she then starts screaming in a baby voice "Maaaaameeee, I love you! Maaaaameeee! Don't Kill me. Please Mama Please" until the womon disappears behind closed doors.

This is Melody. The clinic defenders here know all of the antis' (is that the plural of one anti?) names. I find out she is an evangelic (of course) christian married to the minister, who by the way, sat down out of the way after I challenged his christianity when he called me the b word.The b word, out of a white christian minister's grubby mouth when he overheard me breaking down the racism and hypocrisy of the origins of his expressed "ma'am"; and when he then switched to 'lady', he overheard me breaking down the sexism and classism inherent in 'lady' so he decided the only other thing he could call womyn/me is a b.... REALLY? Fucker.

I attempt to engage her in dialogue, mostly to distract her from ranting at womyn seeking health care, but also to find out who would be this cruel as to attempt to manipulate womyn with shame and guilt, and to their very faces.

Come to find out, this Melody had an abortion. The first thing she tells me is that her child would have been 44 years old this year. I can do the math and out loud I state, the disbelief overcoming my attempt at neutrality, "you had an illegal abortion". First she says "Well, no, not really" but I interrupt her and say, "Oh yes, you're white and wealthy, you had a nice, clean abortion in your doctor's office - no backyard, back alley, back street for you, eh?"

I ask her if her abortion was made into a public affair. She quizzically glances my way and I clarify: "Did you have to run through a gauntlet of old adults pointing the finger, screaming at you, shaming you?"

"No" she admits with a sly smile. "I wake up every day regretting my abortion" she attempts indignation with her mournful utter, eyes full of disdain. I can't help the snort of disbelief that gushes out of my mouth. I tell her "you would regret even more bringing an unwanted child into the world, a child obviously no one wanted to support, and that you were incapable of taking care of IF you wanted to attain the life you planned and dreamed of for yourself."
She shakes her head vigorously in denial, attempting to keep up her bereaved visage as she reiterates her deep sadness at this loss. I nod in an attempt at empathy but visions of coat hangers and blood limit and redirect my compassion.

I say to her "Is that the only thing in your life you've done that you regret? I'm sure there are many decisions you've made over your 60 plus years of life that you feel sad about or regret. In fact I bet you regret marrying your husband, if it's that man over there that can only call womyn "ma'am" or "lady" or "b..."

I see her glance towards her husband but before she can figure out how to frame her denial I say "So you had the right and the means to have an abortion but you want to take that right away from other womyn, because you (I might have added a 'fuckin' here) 'regret' your decision? You think that's right? You think you're so special and privileged you get to limit other womyn's choices, choices you were free to make?"

I say to her nodding, as she agrees "Okay, so you believe abortion is wrong; I believe womyn have the right to choose for themselves, like you had that right."

She is now nodding eagerly, her eyes glaring with hatred, silently saying "I'm right and you're wrong."

I ask her "How many of those bad decisions you've made over the years have you tried to turn into laws? How come you believe you can impose your beliefs on others?"

I know my obvious incredulity - or something - is giving her pause. I shake my head muttering "Okay so what if I attempt to make a law saying ALL womyn HAVE to have an abortion - except those I deem 'worthy'?"

She stares blankly at me as if she either cannot wrap her mind around how she could put an end to that many abortions or maybe she is just finished talking to me. I do find out it's the latter as she refuses to talk with me for the rest of the day...

Still I tell her "I can't believe you would attempt to deny others a right you had."

The I tell her unequivocally: "If your ugly, mean people are successful in outlawing legal abortion, you will be responsible for the deaths of womyn seeking illegal abortions."

But this hatred of womyn has never been about the rights of womyn: but the continued oppression of womyn.

These antis have gone so far as to open a fake 'abortion' clinic cattycorner from the real health care clinic: the fake clinic employing no doctors but these cruel anits who hand out false and misinformation; the real clinic employing doctors who have to fly in from parts unknown but far away from Mississippi to provide services.