NEWS ALERT: IT’S OFFICIAL!! The Weather Finally Snaps, Guns Down 35 (Killing 21) in Local Shopping Centre, After Being Called ‘Shit’ One Too Many Times

In today’s news, local natural phenomenon The Weather, 4.5 billion, has wandered into a local shopping centre with an AK-47 and mowed down 35 men, women and children in cold blood.

It is believed that the motive for the seemingly unprovoked attack is that The Weather had enough of people calling it ‘shit’, ‘Shitty’ ‘Crap’, ‘Fucking shit’ and a series of other insulting admonitions, levelled at it across the world, every day, even when it tries its best to be okay.

After being arrested, The Weather attempted to justify its actions:

Upon hearing the news, billions of people all around the world, commented on The Weather’s actions, saying:

‘That’s just typical. Typical of the weather to be so fucking shitty.’

This is the second piece of news that has happened in the last 21 months. The other was this:

NEWS ALERT: IT’S OFFICIAL!! – Peace confirmed in Middle East after Pope Francis ‘calls’ for it. Moments later, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Sunnis, Shiites across region living in perfect harmony, singing, dancing, marrying each other.