Thursday, January 3, 2008

What we have here is a failure to communicate, really

So, I'm on the phone this morning with a woman from tech support and she's reading me a pass phrase as follows (not the actual password, but you get the idea here):

"Ok, sir, the password is: Arr as in Robert, Tee as in Todd, four, Eee as in Elbow..." and she goes on until she's completed the 8-digit password. Then she asked me to repeat it back.

So I repeated the password as, "Arr as in Romeo, Tee as in Tango..."

At which point she interrupted me, "No sir, that's incorrect. It's Arr as in Robert, Tee as in Todd..." and she proceeded through the whole thing again.

Me: "Uh, sorry I was in the Navy, I tend to use military phonetics."

Tech Support: "Yeah, sorry I didn't realize that. Please repeat the password again."

Me: "Arr as in Romeo..."

Tech Support: "No, sir, no. I don't know where you're getting this 'romeo' from, it's Arr as in Robert."

Me "OK, isn't the Arr in Romeo the same as the Arr in Robert?"

Tech Support: "No sir, Romeo and Robert are different."

Me "Right. Thanks I got it. Bye."


  1. What we really have is a retard employed by your tech support.

    Or maybe I'm being overly critical, and the "R" in "Robert" really is different from the "R" in "Romeo."

    Nah, she's a retard.

  2. I think the computer actually displayed the sentence she was supposed to say - it sounded as if she was reading it.

    I, briefly, thought about explaining the concept of phonetic spelling, but I had the info I needed and figured it was NOT my job to educate the idiots.

  3. Robert, with it's Germanic roots tends to be a smoother arr, whereas Romeo is much more international. It could be a rolling arr, or even dropped altogether. Using the arr in Romeo might well have meant a null character.

    Sheesh, you people are so dense.


  4. I usually have pretty good luck using the military phonetic alphabet... though that would be the first time I'd heard of something like that being scripted and read verbatim.

  5. David, yeah, I usually have no problem with military phonetics either. But I apparently got the Queen of the Dipshits this morning.

    It's OK though, these people are our competition in the job market, so you know, it's all to the good.

  6. Ess as in Shithead
    See as in crapface
    Ayth as in helpless
    Em as in moron
    Yuu as in Unbelievable.
    See as in cretin
    Kay as in Kangaroo

    spells Schmuck!

    **I got nothing for K**

  7. K is for Kanlabos (with a K).

    Sorry, I love The Rundown. Couldn't help it.

  8. I got your reference before you mentioned the movie title!

    I love that movie too...

  9. Sadly, my education doesn't include The Rundown.

    Please illuminate the kanlabos.

  10. So was this an out sourced dipshit or just your average American mutton headed dolt. I love the doofusses who just keep repeating the same sentence over and over again. That would be about the time that I normally just buy a new widget from a different company.

  11. Actually, I think it's "Konlabos," my Portuguese is a little rusty

    As to reference it's from movie The Rundown. Starring Dawayne Johnson (AKA "The Rock"), Sean Scott Williams, and Rosario Dawson. It's hysterical, an absolute blast. Hell of an action flick with some great one liners - just as you'd expect from Da Rock, and about the only thing I like Williams in.

  12. Beastly, naw, it was a home grown Alaskan dipshit. I needed the password for a local utility account. Becky set up an online bill paying thing, but the company put the password in wrong - used a zero instead of an "O".

    She contacted them from work, but they would only give the password out over the phone of record, so she had them call me.

  13. Oops, that should have been "Sean Williams Scott" and "about the only thing I like Scott in." I don't care enough about him to get his name right.

  14. OH! Duh, I should mention that The Rundown also stars the Man himself - Christopher Walken.

    Christ, sorry Chris. Hope he doesn't kill me.

  15. Just give him more cowbell, and I think he'll forgive you.

    Interestingly enough, it appears all the original cowbell skits have been removed from youtube...

  16. Well, yeah - everything is better with more cowbell, that just goes without saying.

  17. Christ, sorry Chris. Hope he doesn't kill me.

    Hee! Christopher Walken, the only guy we know so far who makes Jim nervous.

  18. None of that explanation is cluing me into WTF Kanlobos or Konlobos is. With wolves????

  19. Hallucinogenic fruit that causes temporary paralysis. Quite tasty though, apparently.

  20. Christopher Walken, the only guy we know so far who makes Jim nervous.

    Well, Anne, Chris Walken makes everybody nervous. Just saying.

    See, Nathan, the idea was that you'd go rent the fucking movie. I figured, hey Nathan's in the movie business. Hell, he probably knows The Rock - in fact, Nathan might be the guy that gave ole' Dwayne his nickname (could've happened) and taught the big guy how to make kreplach soup - when they were kids, on the block or in the hood or whatever. I figured Nathan would just call up The Rock, and have he bring a copy of the DVD over, along with some Konlabos (with a K) and they'd, you know, watch the damn thing. Jeez.

  21. ...and with that, I'm now watching The Rundown. The Scottish guy is great.

  22. OK, I'll put it in the queue for feakin' Netflix Freakin' uninformative bastards.

  23. Uninformative?!?! I friggen told you man!

    But yeah, rent it, you won't be sorry.

  24. The Scottish guy is great.

    You talking about Ewen Bremner (Declan)? Yeah, he's hysterical. Love that line, "Hey! Don't include me, I gotta dodgy knee here!"

  25. Netflix? Oh yeah, that cool movie rental thing that they have in the United States - everywhere except Alaska the 49th State. Assholes.

  26. Ohhhhh! the fruit thing. I thought you'd just, ya'know, lost your mind for am minute there.

    And Jim, this may come in handy next time you get a helpful idiot.


  27. Nathan, usually by the 2nd box in that comic I've already resorted to violence, by the third box I'm usually opening the gun safe. There is no forth box ;]

    But frankly, this morning I was so amused by the tech support woman's utter lack of comprehension and inability to deviate from the script that all I could do was laugh - and, you know, make her stupidity public on teh interweebs.

  28. No Netflix in Alaska?

    Well hell, guess I'm not moving to Alaska then.

  29. And now folks, witness comment number 30, in which Jim and Nathan discover a disagreement over "Basic Instructions". Gloves thrown to the ice and major slams into the boards ensue. Sticks are thrown. The bench clears.

    When all is done, everyone's ok but the Refs.

    Glad we got that out of our systems. Wanna beer?

  30. Oh crap, sorry dude - I already got a beer. uh, you want one? It's Killians.

  31. Well, actually Michele they may have Netflix up here now, I don't actually know. They didn't used to, but I haven't checked in a year or so. But I tell people that so they won't move up here - it's too crowed already. Hell, we're almost up to a quarter million residents...

  32. Beastly said American mutton headed dolt. Hee!

  33. Yeah, Beastly has been known to turn a phrase upon occasion.

    Nathan, your beer is here on the counter, getting warm.

  34. I didn't think things ever got warm in Alaska... ;)

  35. Well, the dog is licking the bottle and her tongue is warm...

  36. Jim, that sounds like something my glorious and esteemed employer's customer service department would do. They're special. Although - they don't have scripting to that level that I'm aware of.

    I swear, the only job qualifications are minimum typing skills and a pulse. Typing is optional. But really - how many useful people do you know who grow up and say, "I want to be a call center rep, and sit in a 3' x 3' cubicle and answer phone calls from cranky people all day!"

    And Rundown rocks. The Rock can eat crackers in my bed anytime. :D

  37. Jeri, close - but actually it was one of your competitors.

