Wednesday, 22 April 2015

No Pressure

//Pres.sure [presh-er]//

To force (someone) toward a particular end; influence.
The state of being pressed or compressed.
Harrassment; oppression.

Lets admit it. There’s SO MUCH pressure around us these days. From social media to friends, family, work and even ourselves. Yes! We contribute tremendously to the pressure that we face on a daily basis. Our self-talk can either be our blessing or our curse. All of a sudden “likes” and “retweets” and “followers” somehow matter in the grand scheme of things. It’s a cold world for all of us. You get bashed for sleeping around, and you get bashed for being a virgin. You are pressured by Instagram/BellaNaija to get engaged when you don’t know the issues the admired couples deal with. You are pressured to get to the top of your career ladder so fast that you want to speed your process illegally. You are pressured to join FitFam, but you don’t want to be skinny. You are skinny and everyone asks if you even eat, or how you will carry a baby.

Why has our appreciation for physical and material things spiked in relevance? We all know the pressures we face everyday. We know those thoughts that keep us up at night. We begin to compromise our beliefs, values and standards to portray the appearance of the “cool kids”. No longer are cutting corners, or changing figures an issue for us. After all we have to use what we have to get what we want. We stray from who we fundamentally are into a realm of assumed multiple personalities. We get to a point where we don’t recognize where we are, or how we even got there. We compare seasons. The grass begins to look greener on the side of that unbeliever that has had multiple abortions, club-hops on the weekends, curses and has no regard for God. Then we on the other side of the grass, who do daily devotions, attend every church service and strive to stay on the straight & narrow are experiencing life in slow motion. We have mastered the art of masking our pain publicly, but are mentally screwed up. There’s no help for us because we believe nobody will understand what frustrates us the most. We are done waiting for God’s time (if He is even there). Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. We have these thought patterns and conversations with ourselves in and out of time.

Something I’ve come to realize is that God never rushes greatness. There is a process to the harvest that God has for us. It is then up to us to wait for its manifestation and its timing. The things that God has for us who wait on Him cannot be fathomed. He knows our pressure firsthand, and so in compensation, He delivers GREATLY. Don’t compare seasons. Rest in yours. You’ll find that all along He knew what He was doing, and He hadn’t abandoned you. If you plant maize and you plant yam, both harvests will come, but the harvest time will not be the same. The quality of the harvest will be determined by the timing. There is a battle for your life, and you don’t have the luxury of letting the devil win. You can’t afford it. So actively control your self-talk. Replace the words and the voice of negativity with that of positivity. Don’t approach your life casually or nonchalantly.

Affirmations are important. What you tell yourself is what you will believe. What you believe will shape your thoughts. You thoughts will shape your actions. Multiple times a day tell yourself repeatedly:


The next time someone comes at you talking sideways, look over at him or her with a smile and reply: #NoPressure 

I love you and I mean well.
Favor O.


Friday, 10 April 2015

Frequent Flyers (Part 1)....Guest blog by Pastor Wale; FWC

You may have sometimes at the airport seen some people with several visas in their passports. Their luggage is covered with stickers and name tags of different airlines. They usually have a lot of stories to tell of their experiences in different countries and cities - their meals, culture, people, style, architecture, festivals, etc. They are called Frequent #Flyers!They are well respected for their ‘exposure’ and even airlines (in cases where they use the same airline) reward them with free miles, hotels, and class upgrades.

The other side to these frequent flyers is their conflict of preferences, unrealistic exotic tastes, neglect of some important relationships, the trappings that surround new adventures(e.g., a desire to try new (sometimes immoral) things), and the relationships that come as a result of undue exposures to all kinds of Cities, Citizens and Civilizations.
It is an enviable life, but it comes with its hang-ups; and until you get into that world, you will never see the seductive allures, only the glamor and prestige.

However, I am not talking about plane travels to some exotic island in the Caribbean, adventures to winter-sun beaches in Hawaii or to wildlife hotspots in the Serengeti. No! I am talking about SERIAL DATERS, single men who are constantly on a ‘love trip’ but with different partners. You can’t bet on them keeping the same relationship for two months. For them, a relationship is an excursion, an adventure, a daring exploration of new shapes and sizes, of new cultures and clans (I mean of ladies), of tans and tones, of varying manners and make-ups.

Imagine with me…

He’s cruising down the Boulevard in his 'matte black' Mercedes Benz ‘G-Wagon.’ He sees this cascading long hair on a well-sculpted, out-of-Cosmopolitan magazine, beauty by the roadside. She flaunts a captivating pose and an irresistible smile, and she flags down the car. He finds it hard to resist. He decelerates and comes to a halt just two feet away from her – it is an ‘easy’ first impression. There is a liking and there is a falling. Things seem to work out quite quickly. Call him a ‘player’ if you want. He’s skilled in systematically dating an obscene number of women in a short span of time… And before you could breathe in and out, there is a relationship. Everything is rosy; there are twinkling stars in the sky! She’s sure,“This is the one who is to come,” then, a thunderbolt hits. The relationship starts going awry for no apparent reason and then one day, he calls it off. This is his 3rd relationship in7 months.

He is a classic frequent flyer. He lacks the capacity to hold down a relationship. He has been with too many ladies and has too much experience, which becomes a standard with which he measures every new one. Frequent flyers like the thrill of a new relationship, but find it hard to manage the challenges of one. For some of them, it is a sport; a competitive game, and they derive a sense of satisfaction by how many balls they can ‘throw in the net.’ However, for their unsuspecting ‘victim’ it is a harrowing experience – the heartbreak, the dashed hopes and expectations, the feeling of abandonment, and the shame.

They start relationships so well with smooth words, constant phone calls, introduce you to friends and parents, talk marriage…and then they walk away. If you are unlucky, they collect your money, use your car, exploit your contacts, run down your business, and then...THE EXIT!

I pray you never fall into the arms of a ‘Frequent Flyer.’

Many frequent flyers don’t like this pattern. It has become a ‘controlling’ stronghold and they constantly live with the fear of getting married, because they 'see' that it may end in separation/divorce, aware of their inability to ‘hold it down.’ In fact, every serial divorcee is a frequent flyer.

Their reasons range from mere sport, to mindsets/philosophies, and to psychological patterns. 

1.  Bad experiences in past relationships can make a guy be wary of holding down new ones, and to be intolerant of the same issues he saw in previous relationships.

2.   Some people just like 'flings' and adventures; they simply move on after they’ve had their ‘kick.’ Like real-life frequent flyers, they like to ‘visit new cities and tourist sites.’

3.   Some get easily infatuated. They don’t think through their decisions, they strike a friendship immediately they meet a lady and by the next day, they are in a relationship. They are a bit spontaneous and somewhat irrational. They say, “I acted too soon.”
They start a relationship, thinking it is their final destination. But within weeks, they get bored and they realise it is just a stop over and are soon on their way to catch a connecting flight.

4.   Sometimes, it is their ‘mental checklist’ of qualities in a spouse that becomes the problem. It is like having a holiday getaway brochure and you find it hard to make a decision about a particular place – because it lacks what another place has. This checklist makes it difficult for them to stay in a relationship because sooner or later, they will find out that a ‘key’ requirement is not met.
(To be continued...)

Written amazingly by Pastor Wale Afelumo 
Facebook: Pst Wale Afelumo
Twitter: @WaleAfelumo (Go Follow him! He has amazing tweets. It's worth it.)