Women of Reddit, who is 'that guy' who is currently making life more difficult for you?

AskWomen Original
Reilluminated 1097 2019-06-10 20:21:35
the_hardest_part 1322 4h43m

For the last 4 years, a 60-something year old male neighbour. He lives in the building across from mine, and his unit looks directly down into my suite, with parking lots for his building and my building in between.

He became obsessed with me a few years ago when I was sitting on my balcony in a bikini. I’m half his age. He left a note on my car asking me to go for an evening walk with him. I didn’t even know exactly who it was from, but he left his name and phone number.

I ignored the letter, and 3 months later I got a 4 page, double sided, hand-written letter talking about using me as a sexual aid, about his mum finding his ‘girly mags’ when he was a kid, song lyrics, and his study notes on Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

I called the police. The officer seemed skeptical at first, til he read the letter. He then asked if I had a safety plan...

When his partner arrived, they managed to talk to the guy, search his apartment (found no photos of me or binoculars), and told him to never contact me or set foot on my property again.

He hasn’t, but I’ve not felt comfortable since. I don’t open my blinds more than a sliver so that he can’t see in. I feel watched anytime I’m on my balcony, so I just don’t use it. When I go to my car or taken the garbage outside, I feel like he’s staring.

The housing in my city is crazy and I can’t afford to move, if I could even find a place to rent. Vacancy rates are super low. Buying is out, as prices are way too high.

I was told by the cops that he’s unwell, so I’m hoping he’ll move into a care home or keel over so I can finally breathe again.

getoutofmyyardlameo 289 6h43m

Fuck. I'm sorry.

the_hardest_part 166 6h49m

Thank you. I’ve been desperate to move both because of him and because my late grandma lived down the block, and I moved here to be close by. No luck. I’d be paying close to double or more anywhere else, and I have cats, which limits me even further.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 73 7h57m

Living alone is so expensive. I wish I was capable of living with a SO just for the cost benefit alone.

the_hardest_part 45 8h7m

It is! I’m lucky in that I’ve lived here over 7 years, so I’m grandfathered into the old rates. Legislation here only allows a certain increase each year.

dryrunnerNY 2 17h8m

That really sucks. I'm really sorry you have to deal with this for so long. Is he listed as a sex offender or predator on a public database?

Amonette2012 267 7h10m

You can get mirror coating for windows - like a film you stick on the inside of the window.

Also, get cameras. They're cheap now.

the_hardest_part 61 7h17m

I am on the 3rd floor so I am not worried about security. I’m not sure if my building management would allow me to use a coating on the windows. I’m not even allowed to have curtains that aren’t white, or flower boxes on the balcony.

Amonette2012 86 7h20m

They might not mind if you explain the situation and ask for special dispensation. The film is removable and won't damage the windows.

the_hardest_part 37 7h24m

I don’t know, they know about the situation...

It’s more the balcony that I miss, anyway. It’s west facing and gets great evening sunshine.

Amonette2012 75 7h36m

Sit on it anyway, it's your balcony. Every time he creeps on you, stand up and take a photo of him. If he harasses you, film it. Don't engage though.

1agomorph 20 15h38m

I'd say photographing and filming him is engaging.

Amonette2012 2 16h5m

If he's harassing her in an active way, it's just recording evidence. Yeah it is to some extent engaging but she needs to start going on the offensive a little here.

Achleys 4 21h34m

It’s the discomfort she can’t get over which I totally get.

Amonette2012 2 1d1h37m

Yeah me too, but sometimes you have to piss on your territory, so to speak.

Achleys 2 1d2h22m

How with that solve the fact that she hates the idea of him watching her? That the balcony is no longer enjoyable. That she feels exposed, completely, while out there?

Amonette2012 2 1d2h27m

I guess she'll have to work on it and use it as a way to gather evidence that he's creeping on her. I get that this isn't easy; I'm just kind of bloody minded about stuff like this and if it was me I wouldn't let someone do this to me. I know not everyone is this brash though.

elnaomio 39 12h33m

Do a search on privacy screens that you can buy, they are moderately inexpensive and block the view between them, the tighter the weave/pattern/etc. the more vision it would block, but it still allows for sunshine to pass through the gaps. You can choose a lighter weave to allow more light through and cover it with plants. Fake or real, whatever you prefer. Being outside but in privacy is something I could never give up. Screw the creepy dude. You have options!

foibleShmoible 11 13h13m

You shouldn't have to do this, but the privacy screens people are mentioning would be a good shout, or if there is space on your balcony plants could be a nice addition.

Again, this is space and budget dependent, but you can get planters where the base of the planter is a bench (yay seating!) and then it has a trellis at the back that you could put climbing plants and vines in.

JellyBeansOnToast 9 11h25m

Are you allowed to put like a folding screen or some sort of blinds on your balcony?

the_hardest_part 2 17h31m

Maybe a folding screen. I can’t attach anything to the balcony/exterior.

celesteshine 3 11h48m

Could you get a privacy screen for the balcony? Or rig something up?

Incantanto 2 13h17m

can you put some kindvof portable screen up?

zerozero1zero 20 7h32m

You can definitely put coating on Windows. There's shit you can buy on Amazon for like 20 bucks and it's removable

Lokifin 15 13h40m

Get a tilting patio umbrella if his unit looks down on yours. He'll be able to see if you're coming or going, but he won't be able to stare at you.

mosharp 2 1d2h20m

This. I caught my neighbor peering into my windows and got cameras and film and the whole nine.

Amonette2012 2 1d2h27m

Ugh what a weirdo. Did anything happen to resolve this?

wanderingale 45 8h15m

That sounds truly horrible, just such clueless about basic normal behaviour, “sexual aid” shudder, who does that!?! If you’re a good tenant ask you landlord if the next time someone moves your could switch apartments. I don’t know the size of the building but even just no longer being in this mans line of sight might really help.

the_hardest_part 40 8h58m

He didn’t use the term sexual aid...he was a bit more descriptive. I’d have to find the digital copies to quote him, as the police took the originals.

Similar apartments in my building are now renting for 50% more than what I pay, so I know they wouldn’t allow a straight switch. They aren’t the greatest landlord...it’s not a person, it’s a company.

aushimdas16 24 7h29m

I'm a guy but I have a similar story, not as scary as yours though. I travel by metro quite frequently and I always notice this middle aged man stare at me, I don't know what goes on in his mind, but holy fuck, he's annoying. So sorry you had to go through all that, buddy

the_hardest_part 15 8h3m

Thank you, and I’m sorry someone makes you uncomfortable.

Chestercrescent 23 6h54m

This scares me. I can’t imagine

beroemd 19 14h33m

The horror of a neighbor obsessed with you is almost impossible to describe. What is so stressful is that it influences any behavior when you step outside, and indeed even inside with the curtains open you can’t really relax anymore.

Finally I was able to move.

Your story made me think back on those years and I cried -it’s more than a decade ago. I sincerely hope your neighbor dies. Sorry not sorry.

the_hardest_part 3 17h29m

Oh, I’m so sorry for your struggles. It’s something I’ve unfortunately gotten used to, but yes, it affects me more than most realize. I don’t actually know what this guy looks like - the cop took a photo on his phone and showed it to me, so I have a basic idea, but all that’s really done is made me fear any 60-something, white haired, shorter men I see. This guy could be behind me in the grocery store line and I wouldn’t even know it.

ilangilanglt 7 12h1m

That's horrible. I am scared just reading this. I hope everything works out alright. But still, be vigilant. Always.

AnEarthPerson 6 13h42m

Hopefully this creep either dies or moves out soon. It's terrible you can't enjoy your own home.

the_hardest_part 2 17h29m

The building has a vacancy but there is nothing to suggest this guy is the one leaving. One can hope, though!

Onegreeneye 5 13h59m

Omfg. I came here to complain about a lazy coworker and I just can’t bring myself to do it now. Holy shit I’m so sorry. Best of luck to you friend! Hopefully the situation improves soon.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 3 7h56m

I hope the blinds are pointed up because you can definitely see into a window that's a level lower than you. I know my neighbors could so I got some decent curtains .

the_hardest_part 3 8h6m

Yup! Definitely pointed up. I recently installed blinds in my bedroom as well, as I only had curtains. The blinds allow a bit more brightness while still allowing me to keep my privacy.

alittlebitcheeky 2 16h31m

Oh my god. I came here to discuss a boy who won't text me back I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I hope he goes into care soon so you can have some peace.

beezythegiraffe 1235 58m

Right at this very second? My SO. It's our day off and we had a date to go hiking with the doggo and I'm all dressed and ready and excited to go but he found an interesting YouTube video so now I'm sitting here, bbq sauce on my titties, waiting for him to get his ass in gear

disclaimer: I love this man dearly

TalontheKiller 259 5h21m

That's when you get your shoes on, announce that you're heading out in five, then follow through if they keep dragging their feet.

llilaq 97 5h49m

You have a point, but it's more fun if he comes along...

booholepleasures 74 7h7m

Sometimes that’s all it takes though! I’ll put things off forever even if I want to do them. But the second my S/O is like hey we’re gonna go do this now I’m just like “okay cool!”

kallisti_gold 21 8h20m

So much this! Mr Kallisti will fuck around on his phone in bed til he falls asleep over it, but if I start the audiobook he puts it down and curls up with me.

TalontheKiller 33 5h52m

I fully agree. (Also have a partner that I love hiking with that gets easily distracted at the last minute). Following through is a bit cruel, but is a strong incentive to understand the consequences of not having your priorities in order.

admlshake 2 15h13m

If he doesn't bolt out that door, you have bigger problems.

steeniekins 12 9h43m

I've totally do this with my SO. I want to go out to get dinner (take-out and/or groceries to make dinner) and I want him to come with. He'll say he doesn't want to go out again but won't give me alternatives on what we should do for dinner. So I tell him that I'm just going to get food for myself then. I get dressed, get my shoes on and before you know it, he's scrambling to get off his computer, telling me to wait up for him because he's now coming with me. I don't bluff.

bigheadsmolbrain 3 13h24m

I have to do this with my toddler. Seems they never grow out of it...

GaveUpMyGold 69 3h6m

...BBQ sauce?

Willie9 61 4h16m
DrSergeantPepper 49 5h57m

Isn't that just quoting orange is the new black?

KiriDomo 28 6h53m


EloquentBarbarian 4 9h26m

...on her titties.

I probably would have just set a deadline to leave but if that gets him motivated...

white_nrdy 38 6h4m

I don't know you, but I know you are an awesome person just because of that woven in reference

AppleJuice279 5 7h28m

I second that 😂

ThatLocal 12 3h13m


FluorineSuperfluous 979 4h47m

The guy I’ve been seeing for six months hasn’t called or responded to my reaching out for three days. He called me from his place Friday night to say he’d be coming over Saturday night. He never showed up, never called. Isn’t answering. Have I been ghosted? Is he in the hospital? I have no idea and no way to find out.

Update: We had a pre-planned date scheduled for this morning (Tuesday). He didn’t show up and still hasn’t answered the phone. My best guess is that I’ve been ghosted entirely. If he were in an accident and at the hospital, the phone would either not ring or someone would have gotten tired of me calling by now and picked up or something. He knows my number by memory and could have called me from a different phone if his had been destroyed or lost somehow. He could have come over if all else failed. It has to be deliberate at this point. I don’t know how you go from being someone’s definition of a perfect partner to ghosted literally one night to the next, but here we are. I guess that’s it. I appreciate all the kind words and support from you guys.

Muschka30 525 4h53m

If he isn’t in the hospital or jail he’s a pos

Lilacsinharlem 111 5h12m

Please call him and tell him that. He deserves to know.

disa659 48 10h38m

This is the best summary of that situation

HoneyGlazedCarrots 205 7h14m

Been going through the same thing. I didn't know if he was dead, in hospital, if maybe his phone was stolen? He then sends a message this morning at 2am which was useless because it was school related stuff... no explanation whatsoever. Imo, your guy and mine are POS 🙃 definitely not going to entertain this guy

LittleBlue91 34 7h34m


HoneyGlazedCarrots 71 7h35m

Pieces of shit

JM-Lemmi 188 10h3m

Point of Sales

tarynleee 9 10h39m

made me laugh

a-bean-sprout 147 7h48m

No good excuse unless he is in the hospital. When this happened to me I threatened to contact his parents to ask if he was ok. Got a response from him within an hour

greenbluepurple95 132 7h8m

Honestly if he doesn’t respond and doesn’t have a really good reason for it by Wednesday fuck that guy and find yourself a new one. Life is too short to be chasing fuck boys

Obversa 8 11h9m

This. Happened to me a few years back with a guy I was dating off of Bumble. Two weeks of no calls, contacts, nothing...texts me out of the blue to say "his phone fell in the pool". (He didn't even have a pool.) Determined that he was a compulsive-but-sloppy liar through other red flags that came up during dates. I dropped him immediately, and never again did Tinder, Bumble, or any other online dating sites or apps after that.

There's just far too many fuckboys (or wannabe fuckboys) on them, in my experience. I'd rather not waste my time having to sift through large mounds of excrement in the naïve hopes of finding a diamond.

Spindles08 4 11h25m

I'd have f'd him off the second he didn't come over or let me know beforehand he wasn't. Why we air untill Wednesday?

throw_away_855 68 9h51m

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm going through this with my guy right now, but it's only been 4 months (a very positive four months I would say), and then POOF, no contact from him for the last six days. I'm going to send one last message to him tomorrow asking him what's going on, then be done if he doesn't care enough to reply or have a good explanation. It's just too emotionally taxing to be worrying like this about another adult for no reason, when you have a busy life too. In my case, if he doesn't care enough to call or text me back, then I don't think I want someone like that in my life. No one is too busy to spend 30 seconds to send a text.

In your case, I hope they're okay. And that you're doing okay. You are important too. 💜

zephyer19 2 18h7m

I use to work in an office with a couple of jerks. One had a side job where he met a lot of women. I guess he was good looking and could be very charming. He would talk about how he dated women for a bit and after getting them into bed he would do what we call ghosting today. I knew he was telling the truth because they would call our office and I would tell him and he would just let the phone set there for a minute or two and then hang up. Him and the other guy would just laugh about it. He would also brag about married women he had affairs with.

Hope he got his one day.

ssophanieb 49 10h33m

If there’s one thing I’ve recently learnt it’s that people who really like you, would in fact make the time to prioritise the relationship. I’ve gone through something similar myself and sometimes I still catch myself thinking ‘what if he meant to do this or that’? It’s bullshit. If he really cared he would care to contact you. 😞 In saying that, you deserve so much better!!

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 47 7h54m

I would guess he got wasted Friday night and had a 2 day hangover because that's something I would do. But I would also text to say I wasnt coming over also. Some people are rude like that though.

FluorineSuperfluous 57 8h10m

He did say he was drinking with his brother that night. I feel like three full days is a pretty big stretch though, especially since they were already at home.

lancea_longini 7 8h12m


FluorineSuperfluous 29 8h20m

Nothing new. That’s all I know: he went to eat with his brother, they went home to drink a bit. I got the call from the car on his way home, he’ll come over to stay the night tomorrow (Saturday) and he’ll call me sometime before. Saturday rolls around, no call. Night comes on, no call. Ok, maybe he got his kids unexpectedly and can’t come over. Weird he didn’t call though. Isn’t picking up. Guess I’ll try tomorrow? No answer Sunday. I call a few times today (Monday), no answer. It’s just ringing, not getting shut down mid ring. Tomorrow we have a pre-planned date. We’ll see if he shows up.

lancea_longini 11 8h22m

I haven’t had to date in the age of social media and smart phone and even cell phones. Weird this kind of stuff happens. Thanks for the update and good luck!!!!!!

NapalmSunshine 8 11h32m

I’m assuming he’s dead. Because that would be the only legitimate reason he’d have for blowing you off, right?

37-pieces-of-flair 4 11h34m

Or in a coma.

D_Rock_CO 4 13h25m

I'm a guy, but my ex girlfriend of 5yrs did this same thing, 3 days of no contact, then she called my mother and had her come pick me to get me out of the house so she could take all of her stuff (and as it turned out, A LOT of my stuff!). When I finally talked to her about a week later she wouldn't tell why she left, only that she didn't cheat on me. I begged her to tell me what went wrong but she didn't tell me anything. To this day (15+ yrs later) I still don't know why she left. I do know that she got pregnant within 3 months or so and had a kid a little over a year later.

BakingBark 3 14h0m

That sounds like a terrible situation that would rip a hole into any soul. I hope the hole’s been patched up since, sorry that happened to you.

D_Rock_CO 4 14h5m

Thanks, but no, it flat broke me and I haven't been in a relationship since. Haven't even tried. Now that I'm in my mid-40's and physically disabled I don't expect to either. I think I'm totally fine with that though.

BakingBark 4 14h32m

Jeez that sucks. I’m sorry. Happy to hear you’re okay with things though! I do want to add this: I’m also physically (though not visibly) disabled and I found a great person who loves me and doesn’t think any less of me and helps me when I need help, without complaint or questions. On top of that, we make each other laugh and smile and happy. He wasn’t in my life for 27 years, and then one day, he was there. He hasn’t left since. There are many great people out there and any day can be the day you meet them. Being disabled (or in your 40s 😉) doesn’t change that!

All the best to you.

D_Rock_CO 3 14h44m

Thanks. I know you're right and I'm glad you found someone that fits so well.

jennoside10 3 14h16m

If you ever find out, good or bad, please update.

Darsidian 2 16h27m

I recently left a girl I was dating long distance for this exact reason. We would always text or talk via Discord. After being inactive on Discord for a week I started getting worried. Then a friend told me she was active on Instagram (which I don't have). After another week of not responding to my texts I told her I was done beating my heart against a wall. She never responded to that either.

username1156 2 16h51m

I'd go out of my way to find out if he's ok, and if he is, dump him immediately - no reason to not write a text to let you know of whatever situation he's gonna lie to you that he was in.

Shoe-in 2 20h29m

I had the same thing happen. Guy told me he was on the way over and never showed. I was so worried and then furious after. It's a shitty thing to do to a person.

theneen 2 1d14h35m

Man. That really sucks. ☹ What do you mean when you say you have no way to find out if he's ok? Is he totally off the grid or something? No Facebook, snapchat, Twitter, Instagram? No mutual friends you can ask?

IsentropicUpglide 669 2h10m

Myself tbh. I need to get out of my own head and stop believing my anxiety telling me everyone hates me, I'm easily replaceable, I have no true connections with people, etc.

sammy0990 134 6h7m

Oof. Did I write this?!

cks065 63 5h43m

I am a guy and I have been feeling this exactly. Especially the last few days. Feel like I don’t do anything right. No one values me or my friendship the way I value theirs.

lustcrushlove 25 2h55m

I feel this.

midfebruary 21 6h37m

SAME. This was me just the other day. I’ve broken out of it for now, but it always comes back and it’s obnoxious.

fallintospace09 8 5h27m

Oh damn. I totally get this right now.

sasageta 6 7h35m

oh.. those thoughts are called anxiety??? so that's what it is..

FriscoBowie 3 9h13m

I remember this moment for myself

Slendermankitty 5 6h42m

Same here. Lately I’ve been watching tarot card readings and following the advice to get a confidence boost.

askmeaboutmekitties 4 7h34m

This is me... especially today.

[deleted] 3 9h30m


Sunshine199517 2 7h37m

I can relate to this right now and understand I've been seeing a therapist and doing things to keep me busy and finding ways to change my way of thinking

MermaidZombie 2 8h9m

Yo wtf did I ghost write this

pickleswithsauce 616 2h25m

this family member i see literally every day.

he sexually abused me since i was young and i’ve never had the courage to say anything because he always tells me that i will end up ruining my whole family’s life with it. he’s always been making my life difficult.

Princess_Trash_Panda 344 2h48m

I hope you have someone safe that you can talk about this with; a friend, teacher, counselor, therapist, etc. Please know that he is wrong; HE ruined your life and your family the moment he abused you. No part of this is your fault. Please pm me if you need to talk. Here is a site with a list of relevant resources: https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones.

pickleswithsauce 87 3h13m

thank you. i really appreciate it.

Princess_Trash_Panda 48 4h14m

Of course. Take care ❤️

mooiee 121 6h11m

I just want you to know, you are NOT alone in these types of situations. I was sexually abused by my older brother when I was 7-10 years old. (He was in his mid-late teens at the time) I’m 29 now and I only just told my parents and my husband last year. They were horrified and in shock but have overall been very supportive. I am so, so sorry you are going through this. Please be safe. When you feel comfortable, tell someone you trust. YOU are the victim here. You won’t be ruining anyones life. Don’t let this one person ruin anymore of yours. Please remember that none of this is your fault. You are NOT responsible for other people’s actions. You will not be responsible for anything that may happen if you speak out. That’s on your offender, not you. Feel free to PM me if you need anything at all.

pickleswithsauce 41 6h56m

i truly appreciate it. thank you ❤️ i am also SO proud of you.

blueleavess 22 9h56m

The same thing happend to me. Can I ask you how you deal with family celebrations? I cut myself off of most of my family (exept my parents) because I don't want to see him.

mooiee 21 12h38m

Hi there, friend. I’m so sorry this has happened to you and that you’re navigating your way through this all. Well... birthdays, holidays & family gatherings are very complicated as of now. Since I only came out with everything last July... we haven’t had a ton of time figuring out exactly what to do about it all. I do live in another state than all of my family currently (so that helps a little...gives me excuses to not be in attendance for things) I only speak with my parents mostly as well though. My parents have cut my brother off for the most part other than his two young sons... which complicates things. We don’t want to cut two innocent kids out of our lives for their dads actions. So, my parents send them cards/presents for birthdays and spent a little bit of time with them during Christmas...not on the actual day of Christmas but within that week of celebration (my parents told me it was quite awkward with my brother/their son, but they were glad to see their grandsons). I personally haven’t seen my brother since speaking out. (He knows that I’ve told my parents and has been confronted) I don’t want to see him either.. but I’m sure I will at certain functions in the future whether I like it or not (funerals, weddings, etc). I should also note that not EVERYONE in my family knows about what happened. My parents and my husband know and that’s it. I still have another brother who knows nothing. I’m still working on that. I wish I had more advice to give, but I’m still figuring it all out myself. All my love to you and the best of luck. ♥️

blueleavess 11 13h0m

First of all, thank you for being so open about your story. Hearing from someone else that they are going through the same pain as me is oddly comforting and you really touched me with your words. I know how hard it is to deal with this situation. I also just told my parents about 1 year ago. Nobody then them and some of my closest friends know about it. I'm really happy for you that you also have people in your life that are here for you and support you. This will be a hard and long path for us, but I know we can make it. Thank you for your kind words. Stay strong 💙

mooiee 2 18h45m

I totally get it. This type of pain is a unique one. Sexual abuse within the family (incest) is the least reported and that needs to change. I’m glad we’re talking openly about this (even if it’s only on reddit, it gets a conversation started). It’s a weird path we have to walk. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you in every way for speaking your truth. It’s one step closer to healing. Thank you for sharing what’s on your heart with me. Stay strong as well, friend. ♥️

MostWhile8 42 3h27m

I am in the same situation and I’m so sorry, it can be hard but I can tell you I did tell my family and it was really hard for several years but they all came to somewhat support me (despite the fact that he is still in my household). One day you will at least partly move out and tell someone and little by little, it’ll take some of the weight of your shoulders. Therapy also really helped me in coming to terms with it so I have a lot of faith in you!

pickleswithsauce 23 6h55m

thank you. my boyfriend knows and he’s helping me get my courage. i couldn’t ask for a better person. thank you:)

Similar_Thoughts 5 9h36m

May I ask why your family has allowed this person to stay in your household?

MostWhile8 3 11h16m

Religious latinx family, according to them family comes above everything. They believe me but at the same time justify it in a very strange way which I’ve always assumed is just because my mom is very catholic and doesn’t believe in divorce mixed with the sense that a family must stay together no matter what. Hope that makes some sense as it doesn’t really make sense to me either.

Similar_Thoughts 2 1d0h56m

It does and doesn’t but I’ve realized much of life is that way. I hope you’ve been able to cope in healthy ways and continue too!

awkwardharmony 28 5h39m

I told someone. Things got a little tougher for a while when I did, but ultimately, I'm so glad I did. I wish you so much luck. I lived with my abuser for years even after I said something and it hurt me for a long time. But just know that a time will come when you can choose to never see this person again and it will help your healing.

pickleswithsauce 16 6h58m

thank you. all the support really gives me courage. i really appreciate it, truly do. i’m glad you told someone. you’re so brave.

awkwardharmony 4 7h47m

I wish it hadn't been necessary, like I wish it wasn't necessary for you. We didn't choose this. But we have to do what's best for ourselves because we deserve better. You're brave, too. Taking about this is so difficult. You posted here for support and that's not easy! I'm so proud of you, truly

earthwax 12 2h51m

I think you should tell someone. It really takes the stress away, you might not realise right now how bad and manipulative that person is being but i had a similar experience - except when i went to someone for help they were the ones that told me to stay quiet because I'd ruin my own career. I'm glad I went to the right people, and i know you can too.

pickleswithsauce 13 3h14m

i’m working on it honestly. just need to find my courage.

earthwax 7 3h58m

You'll know when the time is right. Sending positive vibes and thoughts your way

lemonfluff 3 9h52m

Maybe you can write it in a letter and hand it to the person youd like to tell, so that you dont have to say anything but they can read it? As long as they don't share it, maybe you could just watch them read it then take it back wnd let them ask any questions? Just say "i need to talk to you about something important. Its private and might be hard to hear", wait till they agree and then hand them it. It might be easier if you struggle to get the initial words out.

Im so proud of you, you're doing so well.

PM_ME_ACORNS 5 8h16m

i’m with you. i was worried it would tear apart my family if i told the truth about what this person did to me (also still lives with me). i hid it for 13 years. i told my mother, and she responded with care, love, and understanding. i really hope you find the courage. for me, it was a first step towards genuine recovery from my trauma. you are not alone.

na-na-nina 4 8h33m

He's a piece of shit and has no right to impose his guilt on you. The burden is on his shoulders, not yours, sweetie. Remember that. I was sexually abused by my older cousin when I was 8 and 12 and kept my mouth shut for years. I'm 31 now and just recently told family about my abuse. Can you believe I felt shame for disclosing this secret??? It was never my secret and burden to carry. Dispel yourself of any guilt, because it's his shameful secrete, not yours.

maddonkee 3 11h2m

I'm sure plenty of people would have your back!

I had a friend tell me about an issue she had in the past. Well I was hanging out with her and family when the abuser showed up. The look on her face told me everything. She knew I noticed and we talked about it; fuck her family knew but denied it. She confronted him later and to this day I would still have her back even if I had to travel across the country. She said she was afraid of ruining his life and her relationship with her family.

We haven't had contact in years but I still got you girl because I know you know my name on here

schroddie 3 14h42m

If it "ruins your family's life" it's not because you told, it's because he decided to be a predator. Any ruining that happens is a direct result of his actions. You are not responsible for the consequences of his choices.

Nocoxs 2 9h18m

You are being manipulated through your emotions and feelings, although you hold all the cards. The root (him abusing you) not the end result (you telling on him) is what will ruin the family. I would gather evidence (film or record) and seek legal advice. Even tho you might not need evidence for justice system (in this age innocent until proven guilty is not really working when it comes to sexual assault or harrasment), proof would help to get support from other males in your family.

The way i see it you not only hold the cards to free yourself from 'that guy', but also to teach him a lesson (ruin his carreer or whole life).

ilangilanglt 2 12h3m

I hope you get away some day. Have a better life.

WalterWhitesHairLine 551 6h55m

My son. I’m 31 weeks pregnant and he won’t take his damn head out of my ribs.

Ms_hartwick 76 12h5m

Ugh I hated that! My son used to graze his heel on the inside of my ribs - disgusting feeling!

AggressiveNewt 126 14h4m

I did not know that was possible and I’m now silently horrified looking at my pregnant coworker

Emld93 19 17h37m

I'm 16 weeks and no one told me about this. Why has no one told me about this?? Shitting myself now.

WalterWhitesHairLine 5 18h40m

Third trimester is essentially being really tired and feeling like you have a bundle of snakes in your tummy.

itwasthegoatisay 3 23h11m

I'm almost 11 weeks and I should not be reading this 😱

Emld93 3 23h45m

We have been tricked. Decieved! WHERE IS MY GLOW???

usersub22 3 18h31m

Add “potential baby sticking its bodyparts into my ribs” to the reasons why I don’t want to get pregnant

zephyer19 17 18h2m

Have you looked into having him evicted ?

WalterWhitesHairLine 9 18h42m

I sent him his 7 weeks notice today.

zephyer19 3 21h28m

WOW, babies get so many breaks.

taigus 14 14h59m

Could have written this myself. Also 31 weeks and my ribs feel like they are cracking open.

username1156 4 16h49m

OMG, I never realised pregnant women can feel details like that about the position of their child. Crazy stuff.

fascist___hag 4 21h51m

Ugh, I'm 7 weeks now and I'm definitely not looking forward to the "alien baby" stage.

WalterWhitesHairLine 2 21h52m

It goes by fast and slow at the same time. It’ll take forever, and be here before you know it!

Pregnancy is weird.

Desopilar 3 20h34m

Mine keeps punching my cervix. I'm 26 weeks.

steerpike88 3 20h46m

And every week gets longer. Hang in there! I don't know if you have kids already but My 5 month olds smile is gorgeous and my 3 year old tells me that's I'm "so cute".

prive8 2 17h18m

thanks for the giggle, but i know it sucks. carry on mom.

FolkMetalWarrior 525 5h10m

This asshole on my bus route. The guy just won't leave me alone. I take this route every morning to go to the gym and it's the only route near where I live that goes to the gym. He constantly tries to ask me personal questions and then gets offended when I tell him I don't have to answer them. Like, I don't owe you anything, motherfucker. Leave me alone. I purposely try to take an earlier bus to avoid him and it seems like now he's on to that and takes the earlier bus too.

Then today I'm chatting with this new (female) friend I made who is also a gym rat because we hadn't seen each other in a few weeks and this asshole just butts into our conversation. And she is completely unaware of what a creeper this guy is and ends up revealing personal information about me. Not a lot, thankfully, but more than nothing than the fake name I gave him. 🤬

delightfulspacepeach 189 6h50m

Oh man, I’m sorry your buddy didn’t step up!! I had a guy who didn’t ask questions... just sat directly next to me no matter how empty the bus was and STARED. The whole way.

It was the first bus of the day and the only one that would get me to work on time... and an older woman who took the same route caught on fast. She saved me a seat every day and chatted with me until I found a new job.

digg_survivor 69 10h39m

God bless sharp old ladies.

muchagouda 151 6h57m

This makes me so livid! Does he not get the message that you don’t want to talk to him?

I had to take a local bus to work one day (I prefer the one farther away from my apt- more convenient, less stops), and this guy I saw once before talks to me, asks me if I’m married or in a relationship then comments on where I live (red flag) and proceeds to ask my name. Then on the bus, asks for directions on where he’s going on the subway (which turns out to be the same train and platform as mine). He ends our interaction by asking for my FB which I decline and I walk to work to avoid him. What I hate the most is letting them dictate our schedule because a “no” wouldn’t suffice. It’s frustrating 😡

FolkMetalWarrior 74 9h34m

Yes! I gave him a fake name and then he asked for my number when I got off the bus. I kept looking behind me to make sure he wasn't following me. I hate it...you're right, it is super frustrating that we have to change our schedules just to avoid an asshole.

leedzah 26 12h2m

Honestly, I'd inform the police. Have them talk to the guy, get across he's not wanted. My partner had one of those who simply wouldn't take no for an answer, and she went to the police station before things got dangerous. Maybe he'll get the hint then.

FolkMetalWarrior 5 14h5m

I don't think there's anything they can do unless he does actually follow me somewhere which can be perceived as a threat to the police. Or if he continues to bother me on the bus the threat or calling the police may be enough.

fascist___hag 2 22h9m

Does your public transportation company have transit police? You may have better luck with them than municipal police.

AnnaNass 6 14h19m

He does get the message, he just doesn't care or sees it as a challenge or feels like he can carry on as long as you stay nice. You need to push back really hard on these idiots to get the point accross and then they are all like "but I only wanted to be nice...". Bullshit. If they wanted to be nice, they'd pay attention to conventionally accepted social cues. I still haven't found a good way to counter this kind of behaviour in real life, but it has at least taught me that sometimes it's desirable to be seen as a mean girl.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 12 8h3m

I bet hed back off if you brought a guy to the gym with you one of these times and the guy mean mugged Mr. Creepy.

How old is Mr. Creepy and how old are you?

FolkMetalWarrior 47 9h29m

Unfortunately, I don't have any guys to go with me. But I shouldn't need to.

I am in my early 30s and he has to be at least 50.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 31 9h30m

Of course he is.

Bumbeam 3 15h0m

Tell him he is annoying and creeps you out. If you make it obvious (and loud) that you consistently don't want to talk it might embarrass him and make him want to stop. Like a child, you may have to let him know what he's doing wrong and teach him that it's not okay.

FolkMetalWarrior 3 16h4m

I've already said loudly in a previous encounter that I don't have to answer him. He's like, "it's just a question." And I said yeah, and you're asking a random woman on the bus. I don't know you. I don't have to answer you. And he got all offended. No one else on the bus said anything.

Bumbeam 3 1d1h44m

Don't be afraid to be rude, you deserve peace. also, f*ck that guy.

harris_burdick_13 7 14h26m

I would recommend being disgusting in front of him, you'd be amazed how quickly men like this run when presented with a less than perfect picture. You could loudly fart in front of him, or openly talk about your heavy period flow all over your bedsheets. The more crass the better.

FolkMetalWarrior 2 14h42m

Omg I love this idea.

harris_burdick_13 2 15h15m

The milk farts are the best ones. Let one loose, maintain eye contact and say, "I know I shouldn't eat dairy but I've weighed it up and I've decided I can handle the smell if it means I can eat ice cream every day. Now kindly fuck off."

violetkittwn 3 9h46m

Ugh... skeevy and maddening! Do you think you’ll say anything else to him? Do any of the other bus riders speak up? Maybe tell the bus driver? Not that you should have to do these things, since he’s the one harassing you.

delightfulspacepeach 475 6h7m

My coworker. He pulls this shit with people all the time.

Yesterday, when he came in to relieve me, he said he wished he’d asked for today off so he could go to a concert. I told him I’d be happy to work a double and cover his shift for him, but he decided he needed the money more, so he’d be coming in.

Today he called at the last minute to tell me he wouldn’t be in after all, because he had a “stomachache”.

We’re security guards. We can’t leave our posts until the next person shows up. I’ll be here sixteen hours, having only brought a light lunch, because he said he’d “definitely be coming in tomorrow, no question.”


Edit to add- we work a 24/7 post, which means someone has to be there at all times. The boss knows this guy is fucking around making up reasons to call off, but firing him would mean three people left to work a 24/7 post, and the only other guy can’t pick up extra shifts because he shares his car.

This asshole knows he can’t be fired until upper management sends us more people, and upper management won’t send us more people until he gets fired.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 167 8h30m

Time to scan social media and document for a rainy day.

username1156 31 16h53m

I'd totally let your boss know he mentioned other plans.

zephyer19 7 18h8m

I think you better talk to your boss.

delightfulspacepeach 2 22h0m

The boss knows. There’s only four of us (including the boss) covering a 24 hour post, and the forth guy (who does show up on time, respects his colleagues, and does his job well) shares his car with his spouse so he can only work graveyard, no extra hours.

Management is dragging their feet when it comes to assigning new officers.

Firing asshole coworker would mean 12 hour shifts for everyone, or losing the post entirely and the rest of us being re-trained for new posts (which may or may not pay was well, and certainly won’t be as easy as this job).

zephyer19 2 1d3h8m

May be worth all that if this is the kind of B.S. you have to put with.

SweetBabyBeelz 354 3h29m

My neighbor. He's a sexist dude and if I have to explain what's wrong with my car one more time I'm going to flip my shit.

I also dont want to be set up with his son. Be told I need to have kids because I'm a woman. And I definitely dont need a man to fix my car. I need a job so I can pay someone to fix my car or buy another one.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 182 7h50m

I was backing out of a parking space at the grocery store recently and some guy comes out out of the store and stands there.

I'm like 'WHAT?!" with my hands up in that wtf fashion. He says that hes going to help me back up but its just your standard backing out of a space like I do several times a week. I'm like 'um, I'm fine.' and I just sit there for a few and look down at my phone to adjust music, hoping he'll go away but he persists.

He actually kind of gets in my way but I successful start backing out of the spot and he goes 'oh, I guess you got it." And I'm like 'yeah, I know.'

The reason why i was annoyed is because it was a normal car maneuver. I get annoyed when being interrupted doing anything that the average person could pull off.

sadira246 96 6h14m

"Leave me ALONE." is a complete AND ACCEPTABLE sentence.

SweetBabyBeelz 30 6h16m

Way too much effort bro, I just walk away when he says dumb shit.

finessemyguest 83 8h43m

My husband is like this. When it comes to my car, because I'm a female, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Except when I tell him something is wrong, hell mansplain it away and convince me it's something else, well go through the trouble of fixing it. When that doesnt work, we finally take it in. Guess what? 3 out of 3 times I've said something was wrong, I was correct.

That was with my old car. I finally bit the bullet and bought my first brand new car. I wont let him go near it and if something needs attention, I do it myself or take it in. I changed my oil a couple of weeks ago and he just couldnt comprehend that not only did I not need help, but I didnt need him standing over my should giving me directives. For the record, hes never changed his own oil or any oil for the matter besides his work machine. If you're curious, I successfully changed me oil and it was exceedingly easy. I recommend that anyone do it themselves.

digg_survivor 13 10h37m

Where do you dispose of your oil at?

MSRsnowshoes 2 20h29m

If you're in the USA and near an O'reilly's Auto Parts, they should take used oil for recycling. They'll have oil change equipment too. I strongly recommend a six-side socket for the drain plug; a 12-side rounded off the plug on my old car.

Rootkit9208 3 13h36m

If the dude keeps giving you flak about your car, he can come fix mine instead. Just gotta replace the serpentine belt.

Emptyplates 287 34m

Can that guy be my dislocated left patella? Because fuck that guy.

GenderNeutralPat 66 57m

Isn't Patella that Italian dude?

chickenandnuggies 35 3h32m

No, I think you’re confused for the Italian girl I know named Rubella.

quixotic_mfennec 36 3h49m

I think I know her! Thought her name was pronounced Nutella though.

joeph1sh 18 6h13m

Nah. That's the hazelnut spread. You are looking for Ciao Bella

Oh-My-God-Do-I-Try 21 6h28m

No, that’s how you greet a good female friend of yours in Italian. You might be thinking of Cruella.

randomsynapses 15 8h37m

No no. That’s the villain in 101 Dalmatians. You’re thinking of acapella

nightlanguage 12 9h32m

Nah, that's a singing technique without instruments. You're looking for stracciatella

Garper 6 12h57m

Peralta you're a GENIUS!

Emptyplates 7 14h43m

I love you Reddit.

chickenandnuggies 4 16h29m

You may also be confused with Medulla Oblongata. Good luck, OP.

GenderNeutralPat 6 4h57m

Mumps the word.

anonymousalex 12 4h18m

If he can also be my carpal-tunnel-syndrome-afflicted wrist, sure.

Fuck both those guys.

chickfilamoo 5 5h48m

Dude, are you me from a year ago? Highly recommend finding a new Ortho guy btw, after struggling with patellar instability for 7 years, I finally found a surgeon who could fix it

DanFromShipping 3 9h44m

How'd the surgeon fix it

Tyjch 4 11h3m

IIRC, they tighten up the tendons around the patella to keep it in place. I’m not a surgeon though, maybe it’s way more complex than that.

Emptyplates 2 14h46m

Oh yeah. Got the name of one of the guys who is also one of the team physicians for the Bruins. That guy knows knees!

DanFromShipping 2 9h44m

What happened, and how long's it been bothering you?

Tillysnow1 2 14h16m

Ooh I've done that twice already and I'm only 20! I've never broken a bone or anything but a dislocated patella is the worst.

Shorse_rider 263 25m

EDIT - thank you everyone. I didn't sleep (again), my mind is stronger than the pills. I feel so touched by everyones support. Sorry for being such a martyr. Everyone is struggling with something, not just me.

my ex - physical and emotional abuse, fraud, cheating, rape

Last night I spent another evening dreading bed time. I dread sleep because my dreams wake me up. All these mashed up versions of different incidents with ex form the basis of my horrendous nightmares. Then I wake up at 3ish/4ish. And I just lie there crying. Last night I woke at 3am. A spider in my bed crawled across me and terrified the sh*t out of me and I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I couldn't catch it and it slipped off and I was terrified and sobbing. I took myself to my brother's room - which is FULL of my things (I shared an apartment with NEX and 6 years worth of belongings are in my brother's old room). So there I was 33 year old me, lying in my brother's room over-thinking until I finally dropped off.

Today I had a dental appointment. I was lying back in the chair and tears just rolled down my face. She stopped and handed me a tissue and I had to be an actress and pretend lying there with my mouth open had made my eyes water (WTF?)

I came home, and just felt so much angst and upset and depression that I just walked out. It was pouring heavily with rain but I just kept walking. I went to a chemist and bought Nytol sleeping pills. Who knows if these are going to make my dreams worse or better, I just hate being awake so much and I am developing this fear of the evenings and what is to come.

Emmast_john 65 4h58m

You are strong, what you’re feeling is by no means weakness and there is 0 shame in it. Take care of yourself, in whatever form that may be. DMs always open

madcow87_ 7 13h31m

She's terrifyingly strong! Folks don't mess with u/Shorse_rider, that is one tough motherfucker!!

I'm going to echo the words, DMs are always open. Don't have to be alone and suffering.

jujubes1779 31 5h15m

I totally understand how you feel. I never thought the pain would go away, I thought he was telling the truth when he said I was a waste of oxygen. That turned out to be a lie just like everything else he has ever said.

The first step to healing is always hard, the second step is harder. The end result is worth all the struggles. I dont know you so I dont know what you need to do to heal but dont forget that you're loved and important. Sending you love and hugs.

MrsAlecHardy 19 7h42m

I have read that smoking pot can cause dreamless sleep. It’s been working for me since I broke up with my ex (it wasn’t abusive, but it’s been very difficult for me to process and accept and I have very vivid dreams) but I’m willing to admit it might be psychosomatic. Just a thought.

Be kind to yourself. This internet stranger wants the best for you.

RadRavyn 2 15h44m

I use to help turn down the volume of my dreams. I have PTSD related nightmares and smoking weed helps mute them, make them less vivid or intense, more foggy. It helps.

poliscibarista_ 13 1h23m

Aww I'm so sorry. I experienced something similar but it sounds like it's only a fraction of what you went through. I hope we both get better

craftsmanspet 3 8h3m

When I went through something similar, I found that ASMR really helped me relax before bed, fall asleep, and have slightly calmer dreams. You can find it on youtube, any sort of meditation for sleep video might help to calm you. Good luck <3

NicknamePeyote 3 11h52m

Honestly, try smoking weed before bed. It really will help with your dreaming. I used to have similar dreams, but they go away if I smoke a bit at night. Hopefully things get better soon.

CoffeeHead047 2 8h10m

My girlfriend went through an abusive relationship too, she’d have nightmares, couldn’t sleep, her mental as well as her physical health was getting deteriorated, even thought she was done with her ex she was not normal anymore. Then out of nowhere I receive a “Hi” on my messenger from a girl i randomly sent a request to on Facebook, turned out she was more than what she revealed to herself or to others. We’re 4 months in and are appreciating each other’s decisions and are happy together. (Long distance) So i want you to get out there, look for someone who can comfort you and stay with you if you think you can start new because trust me it helps and turns things around. Or you can start working on yourself and stop wasting any time that you have left on this planet. Cheers _^ i hope you get better soon.

schroddie 2 14h57m

I have ptsd from extended abuse and I have been through this. The nightmares, the debilitating sleeplessness, and I am so so so so sorry that you are experiencing it. It *does* get better, time and therapy have helped me a lot. Finding and surrounding myself with people who are safe and kind has been key in finding peace that I can take with me into bedtime.

I am so impressed with you for getting free from him. That's one of the hardest parts and you did that shit! You will get through this awful period, too.

coffeedepressed 2 20h3m

Check out weighted blankets. They make sleep different somehow. I just bought one. No restless nights. No anxiety.

misterlilpotato 262 34m

The dude who didn’t like me back. After realizing my feelings were one-sided I pulled away for my own sanity. Now he makes even more effort to be a part of my life. But of course, on his terms.

ismwall 30 1h45m

I feel this !!

lancea_longini 21 8h15m

I was in a similar situation. I got advice and nice to never talk to the person again. I had nothing to lose. I followed the advice and my life has been good. I didn’t even pick up for 1 am calls.

thhjhyyff 16 4h56m

I was obsessed with a guy for several years. We were neighbors, went to the same college and work at the same company now.

We’ve been best friends for so long and I really really wanted/want him.

After pining after him for over 4 years I found out that he is not attracted to tattoos. He still doesn’t know that I’ve been in love with him, but it's so hard getting over it because every time I see him my heart flutters a little bit.

SleepyCatMom_ 19 5h28m

My fiance isn't attracted to tattoos either but I have them and he's attracted to me. That isn't always a deal breaker!

ShakaWTWF 3 5h12m

I assume you have tattoos?

thhjhyyff 10 5h16m

Yeah :(

Not in places that most people can see, but I have my upper abdomen/underboob area tatted as well as a few smaller ones. 4 inch circle on my back, a Groot on my upper arm and a few birds on my thighs.

ShakaWTWF 6 5h47m

Hey, that’s really cool! I always wanted to get a tattoo, but never knew what to get. There was this one sleeve. Maybe I’ll get it one day, who knows.

As for this guy you like, I’m sorry. I know it’s a hard spot to be. I was there from 15 to 20 years old. Honestly, in my experience, those feelings never go away. My advice to talk to him about it (easier said than done, I know). Either he’s interested or he isn’t, but it’s better to know. Just remember that you’re awesome, and you deserve someone who loves you and your tattoos!

Also, if you’re not already, maybe try to go out with a few other guys, and see how you feel. Chances are you’ll eventually find someone else you like.

misterlilpotato 3 6h56m

Ugh that sounds awful. I hope you find someone who is attracted to all of you, inside and out.

bethannesmith 7 7h8m

THIS! I’m in the same situation.

sugar_tit5 7 9h13m

Similarish situation but he told me how much he liked me, love bombed me and told me everything I wanted to hear then suddenly discarded me. Ouch.

muffinzzzzzz 7 12h26m

WHY 👏🏼 ARE 👏🏼 THEY 👏🏼 LIKE 👏🏼 THIS 👏🏼

JellyBeansOnToast 6 11h32m

Been there done that. Get away from him quick. I let myself fall in and out of that cycle for about a year. Once I finally got off that roller coaster it sucked for a bit, but after a few months I felt amazing!

habitual_liars 2 9h51m

bullet dodged!

whatsnotclicking 254 2h46m

My Lyft driver currently talking his face off

emx2102 296 3h55m

I read this as taking his face off and got VERY concerned

beetlebug666 151 S 5h35m

A lyft driver has no name

kbdoodles 40 7h0m

It is known.

EllieDai 9 8h29m

I'm so glad I watched Game of Thrones (S1-6 only) last week or I would never have understood these two fantastic jokes =P

joeph1sh 12 6h8m

I want to take his face..........,.... Off

chemchick27 8 4h9m

Same. I was imagining a guy scratching obsessively at his face while driving.

Lilacsinharlem 3 5h10m

Same! I know how this ends! Run away!!

[deleted] 3 8h55m


etherialemily 192 6h55m

My mother's boyfriend. He has become seriously abusive to her and controlling of her. They've been together for 2 1/2 years and he has slowly isolated her from all friends and most of all of her family, including me and my siblings. He wakes her up in the middle of the night if she's laughed in her dreams convinced she is dreaming of another man. Questions her about her past constantly (they're both almost 50 and have been previously married) resents any friends she has. Were unable to spend quality time alone with her or even have private phone conversations when he is around. She wasnt even able to help plan my sister's wedding because he didn't want her going alone with us anywhere (dress/venue shopping etc.) She barely gets to leave the house alone bc he's convinced she will run in to an "old flame". He has been physically violent with his ex's and has pushed it with my mother. Not to mention his inappropriate aversion to very young women... So yeah, he's "that guy" for me. She's recently realized how abusive this relationship is and has made plans to leave secretly. Wednesday we are moving her out while he's working and I've been a nervous wreck worried about her safety and her state of mind for a time now. I'm also stressed trying to put plans into action to get her out. Hopefully after this week she can put him behind her. I just hope he will leave ALL of us alone and not try anything crazy after she leaves. She questions herself everyday because she's been gaslighted everyday for a while now but she's staying strong and I have so much respect for her for recognizing what's happening and having the strength to get the fuck out.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 73 8h9m

Maybe you should have a police escort to help you move out. It doesnt sound safe.

etherialemily 72 8h22m

My dad (my mom's ex) is actually a retired police officer. Their very passionate 25 year marriage ended rough and due to anger and resent my dad spread untrue rumors about my mom to most of his "buddies" which ultimately led to my mom concluding that aside from a true emergency the officers of our tiny town won't want to be of much service to her. Also the boyfriend knows quite a few of the police himself and my mother is utterly convinced and terrified that police involvement may make matters intensify. It's a very sticky situation.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 35 8h27m

Damn. I hope shes leaving that area then. Maybe a lawyer would be a better choice.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 3 8h8m

Sounds like he has jealousy delusional disorder. The dream thing makes me think that especially .

etherialemily 5 8h28m

He also refuses to eat at restaurants that he thinks she could've been to with any male in her past or watch movies with her that she's watched with anyone else if he wasn't there to watch it as well. Example: Me my siblings and my mom and dad all watched the goonies alot as a young family and it's a movie we all hold dear to our hearts. He refused to watch it and refuses to let her watch as well bc he was not a part of the memory making process associated with the movie. She once had a male friend she visited in Colorado wayyy before she and now BF we're together. Now BF hates the entire state of Colorado and anyone from there. If he hears the name of the state of the or radio he's instantly pissed and an argument ensues.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 5 8h29m

Yep, dude is batshit. Like literally mentally ill.

etherialemily 3 8h35m

For sure. Since her realizing it she's slowly started to tell us even more than we saw ourselves. Is crazy how nice and normal he seems around others compared to how crazy he gets even he thinks no one's looking.

etherialemily 4 8h10m

He had confirmed bi polar disorder and depression and takes medication so I wouldn't doubt there are other disorders mixed in with those. It's scary that I know she's in that house with him right now.

habitual_liars 2 9h54m

Please let us know that you guys got out safe! Contact a women's shelter, they might have connections for protection that isn't the police (maybe?)

Fus_ro_Doughnuts 2 16h38m

I have helped a friend in this type of situation. To set your mom up for success, she needs to immediately go no contact. She needs to block his number, or better yet have a new phone or number ready to go. This guy needs to be unable to reach her or contact her in ANY way. If he even gets a sniff that shes leaving, he will likely be able to convince her to change her mind. Does he know where you live? Is that where your mom is going when you move her out? I've just... I've seen some shit. My sister once checked herself into in patient care at a mental health facility to escape her ex. He found out she was there, showed up during visiting hours and convinced her to sign herself out and the cycle continued. Please urge your mom to do everything possible so that is impossible for her boyfriend to reach her or find her for a while.

zephyer19 2 18h11m

Is there a woman's shelter in your town or area? I am assuming you are in the USA. Many of these shelters can provide guidance and resources for this kind of thing.

cassidyl 183 7h56m

My boss just tried to kiss me. Guess I have to quit now.

BakingBark 126 14h18m

You don’t, he should. Write down exactly what happened. Timestamp. Tell someone. Tell HR. This is how (bad) men stay in power and good women don’t rise to the places they deserve. Fight for your right to work in an harrassment free environment. It’s scary but the worst that could happen is that you lose your job after all, but at least you will have fought and your boss will have a file. You’re likely not the first woman he’s done this to and you’re likely not to be the last.

I’m sorry this happened to you and the burdens this brings. Good luck with the aftermath. Women rule, boyz drool! (Okay, i know there are many great men. But also many drooly men who are really still boys).

newspapersky 7 1d0h6m

Do NOT quit. You need to fight for your job. It'd be even better if you could somehow entrap him and text him "hey, it really wasn't cool that you kissed me" and get him to apologize via text or in some way that's documented, so you can show HR.

get_me_another_beer 164 4h24m

Pretty trivial, but I'm apparently on the same PPL schedule with a guy at my gym and he and his friend always seem to get to the equipment I need right before I do.

I need those dumbbells, man

ArrayToGo 21 8h22m

I feel this so much. Except my thing is that I'll want to go to a weight machine and the guy(s) will be hanging out there forever.

-UnknownGeek- 3 12h19m

A guy at my current gym was on the shoulder press for ages and I wanted to use it. I looked over once and he was on his fucking phone!

get_me_another_beer 2 12h21m

We've got a few of those too. One dude will just set up camp inside one of 4 power racks, complete with bench, bands, dumbbells, like 3 water bottles, and whatever else he can find.

Hawkbiitt 9 9h57m

I get too anxious to go to the gym if there’s too many men there...

BakingBark 3 14h12m

I’m so happy there’s this innocent one among all these toxic motherfuckers.

Katiari 150 6h7m

Donald Trump.

mad87645 68 8h11m

Fuck that guy

pouscat 18 8h57m

Grrrrr he needs to quit or be impeached already! Fuck I hate waking up to his stupid tweets everyday!

blenneman05 10 10h31m

So neither me or my uncle voted for trump and we both can’t stand him. Well my trump worshipping dad is in town for a whole week and I have to fight the urge to argue everytime my dad goes on a high praise for DT. My Gwamma is Switzerland and thinks I should be respectful of my dad’s views but gosh damn I’m 25 not 11

usedOnlyInModeration 7 11h20m

Does Gwamma think we should have respected Nazis’ views during WWII?

mad87645 6 14h6m

She's Switzerland so...probably

blenneman05 3 19h11m

Honestly I should ask her that. Tbh she was born in 1937 and calls any black person “colored” and grew up in a time where if a black person asked you out, it was seen as wrong to go out with them.

[deleted] 4 17h25m

Fuck him for all the serious issues he's causing but also a personal fuck him for probably being the reason my Aldi's doesn't currently have avocados.

PerfectChaos33 145 4h7m

One of my coworkers. Hes older than my dad and up until last week we got along really well, had plenty of the same nerdy interests and he had never been even remotely inappropriate with me and never made me uncomfortable. Then last week I came into work with a new haircut and he crossed a line. Shit got awkward. I deflected & avoided his advances & flirtation. Documented the whole thing with a timestamp but didnt tell anybody and now it's just awkward. I dont feel comfortable around him now so I just lowkey try to avoid him.

I don't want to go to HR but if he does anything else, I'll have to. I'm really upset because I realized that I've gotten sexually harassed at every single job I've had.

MA93 25 5h38m

How did he cross the line? What’d he say?

PerfectChaos33 25 14h25m

Went on a solid 3-5 minute stutter-y speech about my eyes. How they're so beautiful and yadda yadda yadda. I just sat there awkwardly. Then he ended it with "are you still single?" I said yes, that I love being single and i changed the subject. We talked about that for a couple minutes then before he went back to his desk he said we gotta do lunch together sometime. He emailed me as soon as he got back to his desk "Definitely a nice look with those eyes and that haircut..." I didnt respond and about 10-15 min after that he emailed me his personal cell number & his work cell number "in case I needed him"

Definitely not the worst sexual harassment, this is pretty tame compared to the rest of what I've dealt with at other jobs. But I'm still bummed.

violetkittwn 4 15h56m

That is mad uncomfortable. Had you gotten lunch with him before comfortably, or was him suggesting lunch out of the blue and just driving in the uncomfortable factor?

PerfectChaos33 2 16h44m

We have talked about getting lunch together for a few months, but havent gotten around to it. So it wasnt quite out of the blue, but still made everything even more uncomfortable

tinyheadedbear 4 15h56m

Have you tried telling him you're not interested in that kind of relationship with him and see how he reacts? It sucks that he put you in such a position at work, but maybe try this before you report him. If he reacts negatively report his ass, of course.

PerfectChaos33 9 16h47m

He's married and he's older than my dad. His children are my age & younger. I really shouldn't have to tell him I'm not interested. But my lack of a response should be enough of an indicator. My next step is reporting him.

tinyheadedbear 2 16h50m

Oww yikes, yeah just go ahead and report him then!! Disgusting. I'm sorry you're going through this, hopefully they do something about this soon. :( Stay strong!

alwaysright6 125 1h7m

Not really difficult but is annoying. An old coworker from college has set up post notifications for me, and anytime I post anything anywhere, he comments something. It’s gotten to the point that even my friends have mentioned it.

He messaged me telling me that he’s going to be in my city in the next week, and I said that I was uncomfortable with the idea of meeting up so now I’m just waiting for that response, which I’m sure will be great.

espyitall 61 5h49m

umm I'm pretty sure that's really intrusive and borderline stalkerish

alwaysright6 30 6h42m

yeah, I know. He’s just never been aggressive, and wasn’t initially this intrusive so I didn’t want to say anything and make it worse (???) and now it’s reached a point where I had to say something. It’s just really frustrating and annoying to deal with

usedOnlyInModeration 51 11h18m

Make a post saying you’re going to take a break from social media and deactivate your account, but set the post settings so that only he sees it. Then block him a day or so later. He’ll think you just deactivated, not that you blocked him. ;)

RedBanana99 25 9h14m

Is this on social media? Why haven’t you blocked him?

alwaysright6 2 17h45m

He’s friends with a lot of my old friends from work, so I didn’t want to alienate myself or start drama by blocking him.

RedBanana99 4 23h29m

So you're putting his feelings and your friends feelings above your own?

Why would you punish yourself like that?

Just block him and don't tell anyone. Then it's up to him to tell people if he dare.... I bet you dollars to diamonds he will never mention it to your circle of friends in shame

Effectively you are managing by abdication

When people I have blocked (my brother) call me and ask why I have done it remember not to JADE


None of this.

State "It's my personal account I run it how I see fit" which is exactly word for word what I said.

Nobody but nobody has control over your social media accounts apart from you.

If you believe that your friends would turn against you in defence of an abuser then they aren't your real friends.

Widen your social circles, volunteer at the local pet shelter to walk dogs or to feed cats. Take a couple of hours at the weekend at a thrift store.

Trust me in five years time you won't recognise yourself when you will have grown so much in confidence .. start building your confidence now and act tonight

paythemandamnit 2 21h18m

Block him. He’s being creepy.

violetkittwn 12 9h39m

I’m proud that you communicated to him that that’s uncomfortable for you. It’s easy to avoid or acquiesce!

AnxiousReader 5 15h37m

If it's facebook, you can set it so that he can't see anything you post.

You could just block him and not have to worry about it too.

childfree_IPA 110 20m

Can "that guy" be an entire system implemented by my company?

It's an outdated pile of trash and I swear I spend 35/40 hours every week trying to diagnose and fix one part while another part of it topples in on itself.

Phoenyx_Rose 6 5h47m

Yes. But also, what about “that guy” who’s probably keeping the system in place? You could always try being mad at him, might help

childfree_IPA 2 15h17m

It's a non-profit hospital, so "that guy" who is keeping the system in place is the budget, which is directly related to how many patients come in and can afford their bills. I'm not gonna get mad at people who can't afford US healthcare. I'd have to be mad at a lot of people lol

zerozero1zero 3 7h33m

Starve the beast. Let the company fail and find a new job!

childfree_IPA 3 15h14m

That's an awful idea

EtaRosmarus 107 4h14m

I think it's myself. Literally. Just figuring out that I might be trans. The guy inside me is making life very confusing.

Amonette2012 25 7h11m

Wishing you the best of luck and many hugs for the road ahead xxx

abbyruth 23 9h27m

Hey fam, I’m a trans guy. If you want to do some reading about stuff, head on over to one of the transgender subreddits. ftm is probably the best one.

What I do recommend is trying to find a therapist who specializes in trans and gender non-conforming therapy.

What I do NOT recommend is talking to your parents and friends unless you are 1000000% convinced that they are not transphobes. It sounds well and good to just talk to close relatives and friends, but people are hard to predict, and being trans can be dangerous (as it was in my own personal experience).

So proceed with caution as you continue to question this. Experiment a little. If you feel a little joy when someone calls you by the pronoun you weren’t given at birth, if you feel more at home in your body when you wear the “other gender’s” clothes, or if you feel any amount of euphoria when you imagine yourself as a different gender, you are probably trans, and that is absolutely worth pursuing, no matter how dangerous.

EtaRosmarus 7 9h37m

I very much appreciate the validation you included at the end. The euphoria is much more powerful than the dysphoria, so I don't feel as trans as other people seem to be.

I've got a couple very good queer folk that I know are safe to talk to. Thanks :) the therapist thing is the next big step I guess.

abbyruth 6 9h47m

Some will argue that you must have dysphoria to be trans. I see why that’s a strong argument, but I think it’s only 50% of the truth. Dysphoria takes a lot of shapes and manifests in a lot of ways, but I think being trans means you have dysphoria in some way AND you have euphoria in corresponding ways. All people experience different levels of those things, and all of them are valid experiences!

Congrats on beginning your discernment process. Should you realize you are in fact trans, you are coming into an extremely rich and diverse community (which includes a lot of its own shortcomings). If you realize you are not trans, that’s ok, and it’s still fantastic that you thought about it and really processed these thoughts. Most people never get that far. Either way, you’re doing good in the world, and you should be proud.

EtaRosmarus 2 17h44m

Figuring out what dysphoria actually was and felt like is still a really difficult process. I didn't think I had it at all for the longest time, I think because I don't have depression/anxiety to heighten the distress. But I'm suddenly remembering a whole bunch of things in my past that were obviously dysphoria, I just couldn't recognize it for what it was at the time.

NightlyCringeAttacks 5 9h23m

I hope everything will go well for you! <3

aushimdas16 2 7h31m

Have you tried talking about this with your parents/friends/relatives?

EtaRosmarus 3 9h3m

I'm getting there. I have a couple people who know everything, I'll figure the rest out as I go.

goodyearbelt 2 8d10h14m

Just wanted to say if you feel you’re a dude, welcome to the brotherhood man. You are who you are and that’s the most important thing about you.

WoWorld 104 5h7m

My future husband. Where the hell are you?! I’ve been waiting and looking for you all these years and still didnt find you! Come on! I’m so lonely and depressed and my biological clock is ticking! Hurry up!

[deleted] 36 5h40m


WoWorld 3 6h13m

Why not?

[deleted] 14 8h23m


NotSeriousOpinion 4 8h38m

Feel you on this one. Ugh

aidsmann 3 15h12m

Why do you think that is? Looks or vibe you give off?

LaDivina77 16 6h5m

Here with you for this.
Just had a damn good thing end. Realised I'd already put him in that place in my heart, and things ended okay, just... He wants something different. And I miss him so much. I told him we had to go no contact because I can't handle the camraderie without the intimacy.
But. Damn. Like. Where's my "let's work on us, forever"?

MrsAlecHardy 6 7h50m

I feel you so much. I know it’s for the best, but god I miss him every freaking day. If life were a rom-com he’d be the one that comes back in the end, but he won’t because they were deal breakers for both of us and that sucks so much.

Phoenyx_Rose 11 5h50m

Ugh, mood. To make matters worse, on my end at least, my heart apparently only wants to be attracted to people I can’t have. Damn you heart! So maybe, “that guy” is really our hearts?

Fire-Kissed 86 3h47m

An influential man at work. I’m trying to get a better position at my company, and he is trying to help me. He’s a bit too flirty. Too many light touches. I don’t know what to do about it.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 27 8h18m

That's tricky and that sucks.

kamakshi98 85 6h48m

my ex boyfriend. after breaking up with him, he finally stopped texting me only to send me an email that says “The End”. only this is the fourth “The End” email ive received lol

bluestonia 3 10h42m

from him, or from others?

kamakshi98 5 15h40m

all from him within the span of two months

liliborg 73 5h22m

I have a crush on this guy and I can't tell yet if he likes me back. He's been really nice to me but is shy so never speaks much. I am meeting him tomorrow and I am nervous as fuck. I am a grown ass woman and at 26 a random dude is making me weak in my knees.

Update: Not the outcome I was hoping for, but, here goes. We chatted a bit, acknowledged we are both attracted to each other but that none of us is looking for anything more. So we continue to hangout as usual :)

xzyzx_ 27 9h8m

I'm excited for you

ChocolateSprings 14 11h34m

I want updates! :D

saro13 4 13h42m

Damn, that’s sweet

smoike 3 15h28m

Stomach butterflies can be fun and frustrating.. good luck with it all.

weasel13 67 7h9m

My best friend, Ben.

He just recently married a woman that, for lack of a better description, is a slobby sloth creature. She’s nice-ish, but she makes his life hell.

He didn’t listen to me, or his guy friends. Even as we repeatedly asked him up to the day of the wedding if he was sure.

She takes up all his time hounding him with tasks that I feel, even as a woman, are the woman’s responsibility to do in the relationship..’or at least SHARE in it. While he’s working 12 hr shifts, trying to remodel the shitty house she insisted he remodel instead of buying/building a new one— she’s harping on him for not doing laundry or cleaning the house.

She doesn’t clean, cook, take care of their child, take care of herself, or anything other than sit on the couch and bark out orders when she’s not at her piece of cake part time job. Their sex life is non existent, since right around the time the kid was born. (He’s almost 2 now) None of his friends can figure out what the hell he’s been thinking for the last three years, and I’ve been lost since the day I met her.

He intentionally had a child with her, supposedly her doctor told her it was a now or never thing because of some reproductive issues- so he ponied up the money for treatments and special care.

It’s always “well once this happens, things will be better.” with her. Once she has a baby, once they’re engaged, once they’re married, etc etc.

I’m the one he goes to when he needs actual physical help (like remodeling the kitchen) because, in her own words “ew, I just can’t deal with that stuff. You handle him better.” She will sit on the couch stuffing her face and watching tv, while we’re remodeling some room in the house. Any request, even one to come and retrieve their toddler as he ran under the ladder where I was standing with a piece of drywall above my head, is met with sighs and eye rolls.

She’ll call me behind his back to see if I can “help” with projects that SHE wants done, then tell him “Well, weasel said she would come help!” Projects that have zero priority. IE. You don’t NEED new landscaping when the inside of your house is trash.

Literally, if someone were to call CPS today... their child would be taken immediately because of the state of the house they live in. I have went countless times over the years and organized, cleaned, and made the best out of this place.. but give her a week and it’s right back to the same old same old. Ben wasn’t raised to live like that. Growing up, his parents house was immaculate, and so this just adds to his constant state of stress.

(Don’t get me wrong.. the kid isn’t in any danger, or I would’ve done it myself a long time ago; he’s well cared for by my friend and both of their families. The kids room is the only room in the house that is overall clean and organized. Ben sees to that above all else).

NOW he’s having regrets, a week after the wedding. After he dumped all kinds of money into her “rustic princess” themed wedding- a wedding that once it was over with, as she’s plopped in a chair in her $3000 dress, said “eh, I didn’t really want a wedding.”

Now he’s taking “inventory” of his life and his choices. I’ve dealt with his multiple meltdowns over the last week as realization of how fucking stupid he is starts to set in.

I want to shake him until his teeth fall out. I love him to death, but dear lord man. Grow a set. 🤬🤬🤬

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 36 8h17m


Sounds like he's in a sick system.


I had a friend that was with this beast of a woman. He would constantly go on and on about wanting a gf. He was an interesting person and a normal looking guy but maybe he didnt have game because he couldn't seem to find anyone. He ended up with someone way below his league. Seemed like he was desperate not to be alone anymore.

amunetlilithwoolf 4 18h19m

Thanks for sharing the link about sick systems, somewhere in the blog post, the author mentions how almost everyone has gotten stuck in a sick system at least once in their lives.

I can identify a couple I've been in, and this information helps with being able to process what happened and understand why it's okay to let go (and why I was so addicted to the relationship in the first place).

I often find myself thinking about the sick systems that I was in, and have felt like I lost everything and wished to go back. Like I'm missing out, have made a grave mistake in leaving and can only blame myself.

I have some new things to think about.

Hergert-04 66 4h32m

Coworker...18yo...massive eyes for every female that walks into the room...horrible awkward comments...HR complaints probably will ensue.

espyitall 61 5h43m

the male co-workers I have at work

one of them keeps talking in a stereotypical Chinese voice around me. Purposefully because he knows I'll get annoyed. In addition he makes inappropriate comments about my sexuality. it's borderline admiration/obsession because I'm a lesbian. and you know when guys find out you're a lesbian they love chasing you even more. fucking eyeroll

the second one is the soft fuckboi at work who is a wannabe sauve person who thinks he gets ladies. So basically soft nice guyTM he's had a crush on me since last summer and since he found out about my sexuality, does really passive aggressive things because he can't get w me anymore. Basically the "I'm mean to you because I have a crush on you" bullfuckery.

the third guy is white guy Josh who thinks I'm out to get him and wants to purposefully fuck him over when I don't think of him at all during work . I'll ask him how his day was and he'll say "yeah shifts going well drinks are on time but you don't care about making me look bad in front of other people." Like. wtf?? where did that come from. he gets super paranoid and cares a shit ton about his image to the extent that he'll put other coworkers down. will also constantly put me on the spot and ask why I look so angry all the time in front of all my coworkers. (I'm not angry, I get tired and relax my face at work. doesn't help that I have rbf -sigh-)

yeah it's only the men at my job giving me shit. literally O N L Y the men

violetkittwn 14 9h43m

Wow that’s weird behavior.. Okay and I gotta ask. The first guy - does he HAVE a Chinese accent, or is he just mocking one?

espyitall 20 9h55m

he's mocking one. I'm Asian.

violetkittwn 5 15h41m

Ughh wow. That is so gross. I’m Asian too, and that is so uncomfortable, and more. I dont know if there’s anyone you can report harassment to at your job, but.. at least may you have strength in getting through your work days.

espyitall 11 5h45m

wow I'm so glad I'm a lesbian I deadass can only tolerate men as friends and this is unbearable. props to straight woman you guys are the real champs.

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 8 8h6m

Are you an eight grade teacher? Lol

espyitall 13 8h8m

because it seems like I'm working w immature children?

yes. yes it is.


[deleted] 6 10h46m

These men sound 12

usedOnlyInModeration 5 11h28m

Damn. You have an HR department?

theneen 2 14h27m

because he can't get w me anymore.

Isn't his magical dick supposed to make you straight? How dare you deny him that chance?! 🙄

btg14 58 5h52m

sadly my SO. we’re not on the same page very often. its frustrating and hard navigating his emotions and tones, he often snaps and “doesnt realize it” (ive called it out many times, asked him to please just talk nicely to me but to no avail). i don’t understand him and i don’t know if he understands me, though i try to ask and talk to him about himself. he can talk abt himself for hours but cant seem to ever come up with things to say when i share things.

im sad, frustrated and pretty much over it. he’s become ‘that guy’ and i hate it.

OxKLove 5 16h2m

I understand this situation. My ex was like that. If he’s not willing to meet you halfway than you might just have to call it. It took me a long time to realize I was the one compromising and the one taking the time and the effort into the relationship. But once I realized how hard I was working and how little he was I knew I deserved better. I hope this helps and remember no matter how long you’ve been with him you’ll be okay afterward. DM me if you need to talk.

btg14 3 16h4m

thank you, i really appreciate this. right now we’re living together and i’m relying on him for half of rent. i think after our lease is up i’ll call it— i don’t have anywhere to go.

you’re right, it will get better. thank you (:

dywacthyga 5 16h18m

It's not my place to say it, but it sounds like you know it's time to move on. You deserve someone who loves you and makes you feel like the best version of you there is. You deserve a partner who respects you and treats you well. Don't waste your time on someone who just wants to bring you down to make himself feel better.

One of the last straws in my emotionally abusive relationship was when I brought up couples counselling and he said it wouldn't do anything to fix me so there wasn't any point in going. We needed fixing, not me - and really? The only way we could have been fixed, was if he stopped being a narcissistic liar and started respecting me. He wasn't willing to put in any effort for us. I got out and it was the best damn decision I've ever made.

I wish you the best! You're worth it!

anonymous_anxiety 54 3h15m

Idk if I’m answering the question properly but.... my coworker lmao.

We spent a few months jokingly flirting and then it became a little more.. real. We decided to go out and get drinks and hookup and we have tentative plans to do so again.

He’s studying for grad school exams and working full time right now so his busy days just make it hard to see or talk to him. To top it off my schedule changed so I don’t see him the same hours I used to and we rarely get time to just chat.

Hoping I’ll get to spend some more time with him

ShapesofKindness 3 9h24m

I hope things turn out well for you soon. Good luck!

anonymous_anxiety 3 14h13m

Thank you kind internet stranger!! Me too 😍

Dillymom01 54 5h27m

My mechanic. He's had my car for 3 weeks and I'm about ready to lose my ever lovin' mind. Supposed to be ready tomorrow...we'll see

tb1649 3 15h14m

THREE WEEKS!?! Did they give you a loaner? No way I could go three weeks without a car.

Dillymom01 5 15h17m

No loaner, but I have another car available to me, but it involves juggling schedules. I just hate incompetence, I've known this mechanic for quite a few years, but this is the last straw.

superseacucumber 52 8h0m

this is so minor but I work in an outdoor kiosk and I have an "admirer" who stands right near my workplace and just watches me for like an hour every day I work and tries to ask my coworkers for personal details about myself. he somehow found out my schedule so he knows exactly when I work. thankfully, my coworkers and boss know about the situation but there's not much I can do because he hasn't threatened me or anything. I've seen him around my college campus where he doesn't recognize me and he always has screaming fits and breaks things so I don't think he's all there mentally.

burymeinpink 36 9h53m

That's not minor

usedOnlyInModeration 31 11h32m

That’s not minor. He’s stalking you. Your coworkers can back you up; you should file a police report. Even if he isn’t being threatening, if something happens later, you’ll have more proof and it will be easier to get a restraining order if you need one.

Ataxy 4 13h25m

Shows how conditioned we are to accept this kind of behaviour that you call this "minor" :(

APieceOfFemShit 47 4h27m

The slick mouthed dude wasting my time in my IG DM's for the last 3 days that I should be ignoring.

Lilacsinharlem 24 5h12m

Ooo it's the ones with the silver tongues that get me. I know they're fuckbois but I. JUST. CANT. STOP. GIVING. THEM. CHANCES.

aim4peace 25 6h22m

Don't go for charming guys. They got that way somehow. Go for the one who seems nervous to talk to you!

APieceOfFemShit 4 8h49m


not_doing_that 42 5m

It's an entire family. One person is feuding with the others. They keep trying to put me in the middle and I am not having it.

Unfruitful 36 5h33m

Society. I swear,any time I say I'm child free I get Pity looks. Or family that keeps insisting I want children.

Like WTF would I want to be shoved into the caretaker role and be even more miserable? Mother's do everything while the men sit on their asses because their wives are now new mommy. It's rampant here. Fuck that,man. No thank you. I don't want a whiny asshole in my ear 24/7 for the rest of my life.

I love my nieces and nephews and they're all I need in my life.

Orange_Paisley 35 28m

My fiancé is a lovely man and we get along swimmingly, but he has some medical issues coupled with depression and the dark days are hard on both of us.

jojomecoco 34 43m

Can't believe this hasn't been said yet, but the patriarchy.

ceilzburnz 31 5h10m

My fucking father-in-law. He abuses my husband who won’t stand up for himself (as he has given up on trying). I spend waaaay too much time suppressing my rage around him.

Th31R1ng13 26 7h37m

My SO/ feels like about to be ex.

There is just so much that has happened between us in 3 years. He’s said terrible things to me, put alcohol above me at times and brought people between us, his family has been no help either. I just want him to get his shit together, I care about him and his future, it feels like I’m one of the only people who truly care and want better for him.

But the other day I just flipped out. Told him he’s doing everything to change too slowly because he wants to have his cake and eat it too. That he has always taken me for granted. That his family is toxic but he can’t see that because the alcohol and unsupportive ways is all he’s known. I was wrong to say I didn’t care if we broke up or not, I was just really angry and wasn’t giving him the chance to calm me down. Every time he asked if I still wanted this, I was a brat and said “I don’t care”. I do care, I’m just so tired of broken promises. It’s not easy to hear “I’ll change” and then a week or two later he messes up, usually because of alcohol. I love him but the fight I need from him is different than what I’m getting. He was mad too, I get it, but he did try to calm me down. When he asked if I wanted him there I said “no” (of course, I wanted him there) and told him to go. He kept asking and I still stuck with my answer and he left.

Since then he’s been at his brother’s and cousin’s house because god forbid he is alone for a night. We’ve texted but it’s scattered, he keeps saying he’ll show me change but I need to believe in him. I told him he needs to give me something to believe in. Now 3 days after the fight and he basically doesn’t want to talk to me and wants to go tit for tat. Saying now that he doesn’t care about any of this and he doesn’t care if we break up. That I’m living in the past and I need to move on from the bullshit he’s put me through. But that right now, I deserve a taste of my own medicine (I get it, I was being a brat but I did want to talk things out). It just ended up with everything blowing up because he said he’s still mad and has a right to be. I asked if he wanted this to be over, he said he didn’t care and I hung up.

We aren’t perfect but I love this man to death, he’s my best friend and I want us to just be happy and healthy. But at this point, I feel like I’m damned if I reach out and I’m damned if I don’t. I just feel like I pushed him away. I want to send my “I love you” text before bed tonight but I don’t know if it even matters to him.

So I’ve just been sick with a cold, in my room playing Sims and crying for basically 3 days. Now I have to get mentally prepared for a new job that really is just whatever. So yeah, I love him but he sucks right now.

Lostintheleaves_13 28 8h22m

Leave. For your own sake. Your patience and love have not been properly rewarded after three years and there needs to be a limit. I know you wanna stick around to see him and help him thrive but I can feel how tired and desperate for change you are right now.

I’m living a similar situation and quite frankly need to follow my own advice, but I keep tripping on my feelings and his apologies and the short, little, positive moments that make it seem (for a while) like it’s worth it. It might not be, and who knows how long you’ll be kept waiting to find out.

I’m sorry if this is too blunt a response, I’m projecting because what you said hits close to home. In any case, I send you love and strength and hope things work out for the best.

Th31R1ng13 7 8h38m

It’s blunt but nothing a friend wouldn’t tell me, so thank you 💕

I’m sorry you’re in somewhat of a similar situation, I’m sure you love your partner so much too. I wish these men would realize how much we love them and want them to change for themselves to be better. I’m with you on the “everything might be okay”, but I sit and wonder “when?” too, it’s heartbreaking and my heart goes out to you.

I really hope thinks work out for the best for you too.

Lostintheleaves_13 6 8h53m

I appreciate your reply so much. I really do.

Here’s to hoping we both grow to be wiser and stronger! 💖

CaptHolt 3 1d5h1m

Hey, I am just getting over a 3 year relationship that made me feel exactly like this. The breakup was hard for two weeks, but honestly everything’s soooo much better now, 4 months out. Even my relationship with my ex is better (mileage may vary on that aspect, of course). We ended up with a pretty amicable breakup once all the arguments just exhausted us, the conclusion we arrived at is that our individual unhealthy habits and mental health problems mean we can not be happy or help each other grow in a relationship (one big factor is my depression gives me anxious attachment patterns, while his gives him avoidant attachment patterns). We even had a conversation about how we still have pretty deep feelings for each other and care about each other deeply, but revisiting a relationship shouldn’t happen in anything less than 2 years and may never happen, because even if we both blossom into perfectly healthy individuals, we may well still just be incompatible.

theneen 2 14h35m

You're toxic too, because you're enabling him. He's gaslighting you, trying to make everything your fault.

You say you love him so much, but have you ever stopped to think about why you think you love him so much? Like really, what is it about him that makes all of this worth it? It's not worth it. He's just manipulated you to the point where you think you need him. You don't. You can do better. Stop settling.

bakerbabe126 23 7h59m

This guy comes into my work to hit on me in incredibly weird ways. Like offering me "gifts" he hasn't paid for yet. He brings a fake service dog in (no tags, no training, constantly correcting or pulling the dog, refuses to talk about the dog at all and feeds him food on the floor as they walk around the store.) I dread seeing him when I go to work. It makes me really uncomfortable that he doesn't care I'm married. He also does weird stuff like comes up to my sample cart with a handful of junk food and refuses the sample saying he's watching his weight but sits there and tries to talk to me or offer me things.

nothinfeelsoknemore 20 2h24m

A guy I have feelings for who may or may not know this. I am petrified of telling him, but I have an inkling he knows already.

ShakaWTWF 16 5h21m

This is probably what’s going on with him.

nothinfeelsoknemore 10 5h26m

Very insightful. I'll take note and actually tell him next time I can hangout with him.

pumpkinspicethotte 20 5h13m

the guy who I always liked but he always had a girlfriend. now that he's single and I'm not he wants to make a move.

Amonette2012 11 7h17m

If he wants to make a move on you when you're with someone else he might not be a great guy. On the other hand I have a couple of friends who got together when one of them was engaged to someone else (she broke it off immediately rather than cheating on him) and they just celebrated ten years together and have three kids.

TopWalk 6 13h47m

Relationships and feelings are strange and timing isn't always right and decision are always hard to make. Me and my actual partner have a similar story, a 2 decade of bad timing.

We know each other since we were teens, he tried to make a move when we were kids but I rejected him and started to date another guy because my young self always thought he was nice but annoying (we can all agree most teenage boys are annoying lol) After a while we broke up (me and that bf) and he tried to make another move but I wasn't in a good place to start dating again and once again rejected him. A year or 2 later when I was feeling better I tried to reconnect with him but now he had a gf so I backed off. A couple of years later he was single again and tried to reach out but I was already in another rs with another guy so he backed off. I stayed with that guy for 10 years until my actual partner out of nowhere tried to reconnect with me once again. We were now older and feeling life and time was running out, talked and just thought screw it, it is now or never and life is to short to live wondering 'what ifs' and I broke with that guy after being together for 10 years (it was bad, he wasn't expecting it, we had an entire life together and I never cheated but could never come clean about why I wanted to breakup bc I was afraid of hurting him even more, not something I'm proud of) and started to date with my actual partner.

At first was very, veryyyy awkward after so many years, we were 2 grown adults behaving like clueless teens lol but we have been together for a couple of years, I never felt so connected to someone in my entire life we have plans and did things I never thought or wish of doing with anyone else before and might sound cheesy and cliché but it is like it was always meant to be. But probably we had to live these previous experiences apart so we could learn and become the people we are today.

aromanopal 19 7m

Santa Clause, never brings what I ask for. 🤨

MrLavender26 2 13m

Well...did you at least get something?

cool_username__ 19 5h59m

Ok definitely not nearly as bad as any of these other comments but the guy I like has really been dragging me around and playing with me, and it really hurts. I can't stop thinking about him and he's so back and forth with me. It sucks

So-Not-Blonde 19 7h54m

My professor.

He gave me a higher grade than what I deserved, I honestly thought he was helping me out because I do fairly well on that subject. Nope, apparently he wants something in return because he used information school has (My cellphone number) and has texted me and called me twice.

Tbh, idk what to do. I'm kinda spooked that he'll find ne alone somewhere at school and approach and ask me why I'm not reciprocating the favor.

[deleted] 18 2m


Reilluminated 4 3m

How so?

IsabelReyes 18 3h50m

That guy be the baby boy in my belly because he’s making my whole body hurt and I wish I was full term so I can pop this suckaaa out! But I love him so much already that idc he’s my baby boy ♥️♥️♥️

daughterofozai 17 5h13m

Guy at work had a very obvious crush on me. He makes our schedule. He found out I don’t like him back because I have a boyfriend so he now refuses to speak to me and cut my hours. As a result of this, I now have $120 to last me two weeks lmfaooooo

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 6 8h23m

Cut your hours by how much? Could be constructive dismissal and get you some sweet unemployment.

daughterofozai 12 8h48m

Normally I work 25-30 hours and I’m now scheduled for 14 this week. So about half. My place of employment is unionized so I’m considering taking advantage of that

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 6 8h50m

Hell yeah. It could be considered sexual harrassment as well.

Hippotheh 17 5h52m

My sister in law who lives with us.

3 years ago my husband and I were looking for a house. Property is cheap where we live and the idea of buying a little starter lot for 4 years while I finish my PhD and he goes through med school halfway inbetween our schools (they are 1 and a half hours away from eachother) was the plan.

Then my husband (bf at the time) s mother announced she was moving out of her house but not selling and asked If we wanted to move in (its exactly the perfect location). Perfect!!!

So we moved in under the deal to pay utilities and work on repairs on the house as rent.

We had been there 2 months when husbands sister said "ahem, me too!" And announced she was also moving in. She had JUST moved out of her parents house but wanted to move back now that parents were gone... and we were there. She also already had a super cheap rent deal from another family member who owned an apartment complex.

She said she wanted to save up for a down payment on a house and would just be there for 6 months. We told her that was understandable but we did not want to be newly weds living with a sibling.

Guess who became newly weds living with a sibling 1 year later? And 3 years later now planning on living here the rest of her life.

We cant complain, we really cant. Sweet house for super cheap rent in a perfect location for school? Beggars cant be choosers.

But her me-to attitude is copied to literally everything else she does. I got a puppy . She got a puppy literally 2 weeks later. But hers was pure bred! (Whoopdedoo). We have dirtbikes, she bought an ATV and rode it once.

9 more months...

RocketFuelMaItLiquor 2 8h25m

I'll glad theres an end in sight.

Has she always been like this?

Squidiculus 17 8h14m

19 year old dude who's a "well thats how I was raised" conservative in a workplace full of women. keeps mansplaining and interrupting with his dumbshit opinions because he assumes we want or need his opinion on our hobbies.

poliscibarista_ 15 1h19m

First boyfriend and now ex who was a manipulative and emotionally abusive POS. Claimed to be my best friend, claimed I'm so special, that he understands me and relates to me but started getting hostile and saying vile shit to me while drunk. Would also write paragraphs about how he loves me and then the next day act like it didn't happen and ignore me for days. Final straw was him drunkenly claiming to love me over and over saying he'd call me and instead disappearing for two weeks and acting like I'm stupid for believing what he said and saying "why are you upset did someone beat or rape you" 😑 I'm doing a lot better now. Used to cry daily remembering this emotional rollercoaster and recently have gone about two months without obsessing over this. Today I broke that streak and was crying while making drinks at work today Fuck this pos And he's trying to talk to me again and act like everything's okay

[deleted] 2 8h49m


poliscibarista_ 3 8h51m

Yeah hes been texting me and i finally am able to ignore them. I wanted to believe there was a misunderstanding and give him another chance. But his fixation on rape (rape jokes and then talk about me being raped), sober or not (hed use being drunk as an excuse) is disturbing

[deleted] 4 9h24m


MarisaChu 3 15h10m

/u/poliscibarista_ In addition to this, it might be good to delete him as a contact. Like they say, out of sight, out of mind.

Hope you find peace and resolution.

Lilacsinharlem 14 5h14m

My ex. We broke up recently but during the break up he tried to gaslight me even tho it was his fault for not communicating or reaching out. Im currently trying to fathom how someone so hot could act so sweet and hide such ugliness inside. What a fuckin waste of space.

rosegoldapathy 11 4h25m

Right at this moment? One of my close friends. They're going through some tough times right now and I'm trying to be supportive, but they've just got such an attitude about everything that it's hard.

Phoenyx_Rose 11 5h48m

“That guy” would probably be my mom who’s playing emotional yo-yo with me. It’s really not fun and makes me not want to come home :/

tanistschon 11 5h59m

Someone I used to be close with. Was a huge asshole to me, but all the guys in our friend group refuse to acknowledge it because “he says he’s sorry” but he hasn’t apologized to me. Huge elephant in the room, and I can’t be honest about my feelings to my closest friends without being told I’m being unfair.

Earth2Monkey 11 9h5m

This teenager at work who gives me attitude when I tell him what to do. I tell him to clean something and he tells me to give him a raise first, I tell him to put his phone away and he calls me sergeant for the rest of the night. He is relentlessly obnoxious.

The good news is that he's a contractor. Since I'm the one who decides which contractors we keep, he'll be gone in a year or so.

AttractingNuisance 10 4h12m

My abusive ex...

ullkay95 10 6h12m

My SO... he’s frustrated I kicked him off MY Spotify when I went to work out. I have invited him to make his own Spotify through my family account 3 months ago and never did it. Now he’s angry with me since I changed the password. He’s notorious for doing things last minute and trying to see how far he can get with me.

kasmarina 10 6h20m

My brother with borderline personality disorder told me to “fuck off” because I wasn’t showing him enough sympathy for his “tough” life. Apparently being an emotional punching bag is my only job.

BandiCootles 2 18h44m

I too have a bro with BPD. Your comment sounds all too familiar... I couldn’t deal with the emotional manipulation and inability to think of anyone other than himself, so we’re currently not talking 🤷🏻‍♀️ Dealing with a family member who has BPD is so difficult. Let me know if you ever want to chat!

mrsjoviality 10 7h22m

My brother. His mental health issues have flared up recently and compounded his aggression. I love him but it is destructive on the household and on my own state of mind.

daringlydear 10 7h34m

Work related guy under me in authority who went out of his way to diminish, belittle, abuse, etc. me because i guess he couldn't have a woman in more power??? Fine! I walked, ugh. Life is too short.

papablessmeme 10 9h8m

He was my neighbor for 3 years. But I was living with my boyfriend at the time for 2 of those years. We broke up. One day shortly after my ex moved out, my neighbor and I saw each other on our back porches. He came over and we talked. We became friends. We’d hang out every single day. Seriously. After work we’d hang in pjs and watch tv, listen to music and talk. For hours. Weekends we’d get drunk and hang all night. Then we began hooking up. Which I don’t usually do. And then I fell for him. He says he isn’t interested in me and yet acts like he is. Not because we hook up, but because of how he talks to me. Cooks me dinner. He says my name in a silly way and it’s his way of saying my name. He is playful. And encouraging. And supportive but doesn’t let me get away with my bullshit. We’re very comfortable with each other. We laugh constantly. He remembers things I have said long ago that I don’t even remember telling him. He calls me “woman” sometimes in an endearing way. I could go on. One time we got into an argument and after it ended he kissed me gently and said “we can fight and be okay, right?” And I said “why did you kiss me?” And he didn’t respond. He never had kissed me except for during sex. One time after sex we were laying in his bed listening to a song by Bon Iver that we both listen to a lot together and alone and we put our foreheads together and just listened. And when it ended he said “you know were not dating right?” And that pissed me off because then why the hell do you do this shit with me? Whenever I try to talk to a new guy he makes fun of him and acts like the guy is a loser. His friends think he likes me. They jokingly call me his girlfriend. But he still says he isn’t interested. A month ago he moved to an apartment. And the first week things were normal. We would hang every day. Then suddenly he started working longer hours and saying he was too tired to hang. Now I see him once a week. And I have to initiate contact and ask to hang. And sometimes he doesn’t even text me back. And yet when we are hanging out, everything is normal and we have such a good time together. We’re really comfortable with each other and we get along great. And it’s driving me crazy. I try to move on. I try not to talk to him and give him space. And then I can’t handle it anymore and I want to see him. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t. I have a gut feeling about him unlike I’ve ever felt for anyone. I just don’t understand what his feelings towards me are. It’s hard for me to believe he doesn’t have any feelings for me at all. I feel like an idiot and I hate that I’ve resorted to being so immature as to write about this on reddit. But I’ve had some alcohol so oh well.

ilangilanglt 14 12h23m

If you are in doubt, then it's not real. I'm sorry but this is bad. I think he's just using you. Hooking you up while maintaining distant. That's manipulative as hell. Kick him out of your life. First you'll be alone and may be lonely. But it opens the door for the people who won't make you doubt.

angelic44 9 29m

lol my own father, he's a mess.

Dustyisover9000 9 5h45m

My dad. He hasn't talked to me in like 2 months and i guarantee that he will say something on father's day to get me to feel bad for not contacting him. Hes a giant manipulative asshole.

walkthewalk2400 9 5h52m

There is this one guy that is making my life very romantically difficult right now. I want more but he isn’t willing to give it. So I’m trying to stop thinking about him too much.

Girlielee 9 7h11m

A friend, whom I love deeply. And that's the problem. It's not something that will ever be. It's too complicated and it's ultimately impossible. We won't ever be a 'thing'. But the chemistry is there, as is the connection. And so while I adore having him in my life, it's bittersweet and painful too at times. Impossible not to wonder at what could be, but never will be.

ocax8me 9 7h15m

guy who’s a close friend of me and my housemates apparently developed feelings for me in the last few months. We recently had a fight and now he’s treating me like an asshole trying to get a rise out of me for no reason. I can only guess at why but it’s pissing me off and making things difficult.

likelikelimeade 9 7h22m

My previous boss. He’s not at my company any more, but he fucked it up SO BAD and I’ve spent that last year and a half attempting to clean up his messes and make our department functional again. It’s not going very well at the present moment and I totally hate my job.

Jynolis 8 10h1m

Hey you, Mr coworker that insists I drink your coffee EVERY SINGLE TIME you make and leaves it on my desk in case I want some just so that we can sit together and talk. Knock it off I said I didn't want coffee😠

spicynoodlesoups 7 3h59m

100% me

SoftHeartedBitch 7 6h49m

I don't have one!!! ❤️

[deleted] 7 10h48m


saro13 3 14h7m

Take this opportunity to build a widow’s walk, so you can stare out to sea in the hope that your lover returns

But to be serious, hopefully this spontaneous foolishness is a one-time thing.

shaddix 2 16h13m

a widow’s walk

Haha! Well, my apartment is on the sixth floor of a ten story building, so I already have building height to my advantage!

jagerbomb03 6 6h9m

A man who is IMPOSSIBLE to get a read on and yet I’m incredibly smitten by him.

a-bean-sprout 6 7h53m

My uncle who lives across the street and just sits in the front lawn and "watches". My bedroom window faces out towards the front of our house and I love having windows open, but not if I'm going to be stared at. He's not meaning to be creepy, he just has zero social skills, and nothing to do as an old/retired fart.

mountainsunset 5 3h28m

My landlord and friend,known him since we were kids. He was clean and sober but fell off the wagon. Don't yet know how bad it might get. Saving up to move. He like booze and coke. Oh and hookers.

MeowNugget 5 5h3m

My ex / complicated relationship of 8 years. But life goes on and I focus on me and getting ahead

[deleted] 5 6h23m


usedOnlyInModeration 3 11h30m

Sounds like this is the life you’re signing up for.

[deleted] 5 7h8m


zyxdxm 3 9h51m

Wow, this sounds exactly like me rn :/

usedOnlyInModeration 5 11h13m

The partner of every single woman I know.

Mother’s boyfriend - controlling, passive-aggressive, emotionally abusive asshole.

Sister’s boyfriend - she just found out he’s been cheating on her with numerous women (he’s 48, one was 17) throughout their entire five-year relationship.

Best friend’s boyfriend - is threatening to kill himself and/or leave her because he’s depressed because he keeps getting fired and doesn’t have friends and doesn’t know how to communicate, which is all forgivable, but he refuses to get therapy or attempt to fix any of these problems.

Friend’s husband - refuses to do any chores whatsoever (they both work full time), is condescending and rude, doesn’t make any effort whatsoever to make her happy in any way.

Friend’s new boyfriend - turns out he’s sexist, homophobic, and transphobic.

Friend’s husband - isn’t sharing responsibilities of housework and caring for the new baby. Makes excuses that his wife is just “better” at these things, and therefore she should do them. Refuses to acknowledge all the time she puts into learning how to do these things, not because she wants to, but because they have to be done and she’s an adult and that’s what you do.

I feel for all these women, and it pisses me off that good men seem so hard to come by, but I’m also pissed off that so much of my time is spent having to be emotionally available to these women I love, that I have to console them because their partners suck so fucking much.

finessemyguest 4 8h33m

My daughters bio-dad. I hadn't seen or heard from him since she was days old. He half ass sent me a message over Facebook a couple of months ago insisting that I facilitate some sort of relationship between my daughter and him.

Besides him being absent for 12 years, he did some really terrible things to me and other things that sent him to prison for about 6 years. He stole money from, left me, cheated on me. You name it, he did it.

bluezealcat 3 5h22m

This guy i confessed to last year who turned me down. I always try to ignore him whenever i see him but by the end of our hangouts, i grow to like him a little more. Its not the best situation :(

[deleted] 3 5h34m


forwardyoufly 3 6h18m

My alcoholic ex who is also my neighbor and will not move.

dxncingnerds 3 7h51m

my SO. I want to break up with him but I'm not sure if I should. I don't know how to go about it. And I'm far from him, I'd have to travel because i dont want to do it thru chat. I feel like an asshole for how I've been treating him these past few weeks. I'm not sure if I love him anymore.

[deleted] 3 9h21m


dxncingnerds 3 9h50m

this might sound weird but thank you so much. I can't talk to any of my friends about this because they all hate my SO because he cheated on me. I really needed this objective advice. I wish I could cry and eat ice cream with you as we talk about our problems haha sorry I'm so lonely

sigmundmarxsad 3 7h52m

The malls security guard. We both like each other and it’s clear but he seems to be too shy to make a move and so am I. Our schedules seem to also conflict where both of us will be working so neither of us can approach the other. It’s been three weeks of absolute torture and I hate myself for getting this obsessed about a boy BUT HES 6’3 AND ADORABLE

maxkartoffel 3 8h6m

My lab partner is a fucking nitwit

discombobulationz 3 8h9m

My ex who I really hoped would get his shit together but hasn’t. I miss him so much. Trying to figure things out or just get distance but we have many mutual friends. It’s nothing dramatic or crazy but it’s still so hard.

NotSeriousOpinion 3 8h33m

My rapist, kidnapper is pleading not guilty. In fact his story goes that he was saving me.. the thought process is fucked to be honest. So it's going to jury, a jury likely stacked with males.

snippybitch 3 8h49m

Can it be my cat? I love him and he's a wonderful cat, but he has IBS. So it's not his fault that life is stressful for a cat (?) and he blocks up and can't poo. I don't know what stressed him this time, but he's puking again and acting 'off' which is his way of saying he can't poo. He gets 1/2 mL of lactulose nightly, I'm thinking I need to increase it to 0.75 mL (vet said we can go as high as 1 mL, but I don't want diarrhea either). So now it's a waiting game of seeing if he can pass the poo on his own, which he's done the past two times, or if we have to go to the vet again...

He's so cute though, I love him so much. But damn dude I don't have time/money for this shit (literal or otherwise). Cat tax!

Desopilar 2 1d2h5m

I feel you. My cat passed away in September, but before that we were dealing with him in heart failure for a year. He had medication 6 times a day (between pills and shots) and we could never go anywhere because we had to work it around his medication schedule. Plus cardiologist vet visits every 2-4 weeks. I loved him so much, but it was a year of constant stress, made better by kitty snuggles.

pouscat 3 8h53m

My long term roommate has just worn out his welcome. He's always been just a hint of creepy to me but he always paid his rent on time, in full, and I needed the money. I describe him as "Laslow" from Real Genius, he ghosts in when no one is looking and doesn't interact with anyone in the house. Doesn't do any cleaning except for his own messes, so it's like he's not even there. Recently I've heard from other roommates that he has.... Disturbing taste in porn.....🤮

It's just too much. He's got to go.

fullmoonhermit 3 9h7m

My mom is in her late fifties and has won national awards for her teaching. Her 23 year old male coworker is tormenting her and refusing to pull his weight in a co-teacher role. The bosses cut him all the slack and expect her to clean up his messes and take shit from him.

Keep in mind, my mom loves young teachers and was so excited to collaborate with him. Now she has an ulcer and has been going to therapy. I’m worried sick about her. I’d love to punch him in the mouth for how miserable he’s making her life, a widow who loved and mentored his younger brother and stood up for him when other teachers refused to adjust their teaching style to his Autism.

Tellingly, she caught this jerk looking at a weird green frog man on his iPad that I suspect is a Pepe meme. Great dude to be teaching fourteen year olds.

pearlsongold 3 9h31m

So I work at a restaurant. One of the owners heavily flirts with me and I’m so confused about how I feel about him because he’s old enough to be my dad. I haven’t had any action in a year and maybe that’s why I’m kinda into him, ugh I just don’t know what to do

Opaquekat 3 9h56m

My boss I recently got hired part time at a soft serve/ dessert place and right from the get go he told me that he wants me to clean up the store as well as learn how to make the desserts. Thing is, my shifts are 3-4 hrs and I cannot clean when people come in to order. It's summer and kids are out of school, so that means more people coming in which means more cleaning to be done. I'm the only female out of 7 others working in the store, so no one else is being obligated to clean drains or wash walls/ behind machines or to mop the sitting area. Last week I opened the store for the first time with the owner/boss there and he told me "I'm here if you need help and ask questions if you're unsure about anything". When the time came for when I needed help with the register, he said to me "pretend I'm not here" while hovering over my shoulder. So much for a helpful boss...

DisasterDater 3 11h14m

A couple of freelance clients of mine. One of them texts me about his emotional state and seeks me for guidance, the other is constantly texting me. They start with asking for work then move on to other subjects. I'm scared of taking a stand as I might lose work and I need the money.

elena_1010101010101 3 11h31m

Toxic advisor making work impossible trying to ruin my career. Stalking ex-boyfriend making life difficult, streesful and complicated. Dysfunctional ex boyfriend giving occasional hypertension and headaches. Stalking friend occasionally creating mindfuck situations. (To name a few. There is no "that guy". More like "those people".)

glitterswirl 3 12h40m

The stupid person who unlocked the laptop cabinet in the morning last week but didn't take responsibility for ensuring all laptops were returned and locked away afterwards.

So after my duty I do my usual count-up, and find some missing. Now I'm the one being asked to look for laptops I didn't even lose, because someone else has a really relaxed attitude about leaving thousands of £ worth of equipment unlocked and unattended. Especially annoying because I'm the person the IT dept like because of my fastidiousness when it comes to checking stuff like this. I double and triple check everything, and report any issues, and then someone comes along and screws it up like this. Gah.

AbacoAgain 3 13h42m

I met a great guy on match. We had a great first date, had lots in common, and I was attracted to him (which is rare at my age). We both suffered terrible grief by losing someone very close to us which is something I rarely share with anyone.
He talks......A LOT. At first I thought it was nerves (I was nervous too) plus it took the pressure off me because I can be shy.
We had several dates and discovered a mutual friend had wanted to set us up years ago but the timing was wrong.
He said he was off work due to knee surgery and had been in a deep depression all winter because he was alone but I was helping him.
He was thoughtful, cooked wonderful meals for us, fun to be with. But he didn't sleep so when I was with him, I didn't get to sleep much. He stayed up super late every night.

Then one night he flipped out on me. I had gone to bed and he woke me up by flinging the bedroom door open and yelling something about not being able to get the computer to work and then throwing a pillow at me at 4 am. He said "now you've seen my temper". I fled in an uber leaving my purse, keys, & car behind.
I was shaking with fear.
Turns out he's off work from a 28 year great career due to anger issues. I strongly suspect he has ADHD as well as impulse control problems and OCD. He can't sit through a movie, concert, or tv show without interrupting. I've never been able to finish a story about myself without him stopping me and changing the subject. He gets angry at very minor things and it feels like he enjoys berating me.
My friends have all noticed now that he can't let an evening end without trying to extend it even when it's clear they want to go home.

I'm walking on eggshells around him all the time so as to not set off his rage. This isn't me. I'm not that girl. I've got to break free of him even though I care deeply for him.
This is the first guy I've been interested in for many years and it's hard to let go of that hope that I won't be alone forever and also that this is the first time I've glimpsed a future other than waiting to die to be with my child. But I just can't live like this and I can't help him especially since he doesn't even want help. I didn't even think I'd ever have feelings like this and now I have to let go.

whatsabuttfore 3 14h53m

A former friend who was creepy with me at an event last fall. I’m still mad about it. I get mad every time I think about it. He was in my wedding party and is in all the damn photos and I get mad when I look at them. I want to be over it since he’s still very much in my friend group but I can’t.

Monchichij 3 16h29m

I'm sorry that your friend turned creepy.

Since he's ruining your wedding pictures for you, may I offer some advice?

I've been through something similar a while ago. What helped me was dividing my feelings towards that person into two groups: those from the happy times and my current feelings. Try to think of it like this: You lost a friend. It doesn't matter why he's not in your life anymore. So look at the wedding pictures and think of the happy times you had.

Don't let his actions after that taint the past

jillinkla 3 15h9m

My urogynecologist. He’s the only urogyn within several hours of where I live, so seeing another doctor is out of the question. I have 3 separate occurrences of pelvic organ prolapse (started with my uterus 3 months ago, then my bladder & rectum prolapsed the same day 2 weeks ago) and even with the severity of the uterine prolapse, he refuses to do a hysterectomy while he corrects the bladder & rectal prolapse via major surgery. He’s already doing a major surgery in my vagina yet he refuses to remove my uterus due to the possibility of regretting the decision later in life (I already have two kids at 28 & refuse to have more). It’s already making its grand exit on its own, just take it out of me already. Damn.

Monchichij 3 16h11m

It's so disappointing that we still have to deal with prejudices based on beliefs from the early last century in 2019. I'm sorry that you and your health are a victim of that.

All the best for the upcoming surgery and a fast recovery!

Three3Jane 3 17h43m

Ah yes, the doctor certainly knows you better than you know yourself - therefore is subjecting you to more pain and misery (and ultimately another surgery) because he refuses to believe that you know what you're talking about when you say you are DONE HAVING KIDS.

*bangs head*

Neva_Flows 2 5h27m

Not at this moment, but at school (I’m on summer vacation thank goodness) there’s this guy who either had or still has a crush on me. He keeps trying to talk to me, and I’ve just gotten to the point of ignoring him. According to the people I’ve told, he’s just awkward and trying to make a connection. That’s probably the case, but he’s said some really weird and inappropriate things to me that were completely uncalled for. It’s just a bother in a public area, since I never know if I’ll run into him. It was also very sobering when, as I was talking to my mom about possibly getting him to leave me alone, she asked me if telling him to go away would put me in danger. Frankly, I think it might. All-in-all, it’s a big yikes.

Three3Jane 2 17h41m

I like how they're telling you "he's just trying to make a connection", as if you don't have the option to NOT want to make that connection.

I'm so sick of people telling me I don't have the right to refuse someone who wants to connect with me - that somehow their desire to have contact with me supersedes my desire to be left the fuck alone.

Neva_Flows 2 1d7h52m


kakaiviv123 2 6h25m

The Philippine president Rodrigo Duterte

morning_stand 2 7h39m

My husband. He suddenly fell into a deep depression and doesn't know who he is anymore. It's hurting our home life bad. I also have depression and anxiety and it's driving me more insane.

isaiah5417 2 8h13m

My sisters ex is being a pain in the patoot. Wish he would quit.

eveningserenity 2 8h14m

This guy who is an asshole to everyone, no regard for people’s feelings. Too cool, too superior to care about how he words things, even if it means wording things in the most nasty way possible where it could have easily been said neutrally/kindly. You’re treated like this unless you’re one of the “special” few whom he dotes over and treats favorably. Infuriating to have to work with him.

thenicoleodeon 2 8h17m

My boss really brings out the worst in me. We’re at each other’s throats. I’m just disappointed.

mangoheadmeow 2 9h32m

My ex.

He cheated on me multiple times, emotionally abused me, hid a fucking full blown meth addiction from me and then went on a multi-day bender while I was back in my home country visiting my family and became psychotic. I admitted him to hospital then packed up everything I owned and moved the fuck out. That was 6 months ago.

Despite our horrible break-up, I was always kind and respectful to him and supported him in his recovery. I was even willing to "share custody" of one of our cats with him, despite me being the one who took care of the animals. I have however, made it very clear ever since we broke up that we would never be getting back together and I am only willing to attempt to stay friends with him and nothing more.

We see each other maybe once every two months (usually when I'm picking up or dropping off the cat) and he asked if I'd take him to the airport, which I did. Ever since, he has been blowing up my phone and verbally abusing me over messages and I'm at my wits end. He is the epitome of an abusive manipulator and I want him out of my life completely but I am afraid that if I block his number or contact with him then he will retaliate against me and either physically hurt me or try to ruin my reputation and release the dirty photos/videos he took of me. I hate him.

jussjess2 2 9h42m

My boyfriend who is extremely emotionally abusive and makes it impossible to open up to him! We live together kinda by force definitely looking to change that. I can't be lonely in a relationship anymore

jdthprz 2 10h7m

The president

nothingnessinadress 2 10h24m

My boyfriend.

I found out he gave some girl that he used to mess with our hulu account (which is under my name but he pays for it) and I'm frustrated because I found messages of him wanting to meet up with her and drink. He never spoke to me about it either.

A part of me feels like I'm over exaggerating about the hulu account and the other half of me feels like I deserve to be mad because I do find it disrespectful that he gave someone that I don't know and has intimate history with access to any of our stuff and was trying to meet up with her behind my back.

We've been together for almost 6 years and I feel like at this point, he knows what lines not to cross.

kgsl 2 10h49m

Used to be one. Not anymore, though. My ex boyfriend who has manipulated me for two years, making me think I'm not good in everything I do and never gave me the chance to spend time with any of my family members and friends, let alone new people into my life. He was jobless, used my money to pay his expanses and his friend's. Ah man, I was so dumb.

Not so glad it happened, but it was definitely an eye opener. Not going to let myself go through this shit every again. Never.

clairebones 2 12h34m

I imagine this will disappear to the bottom of the thread, but the venting is nice!

Top of my list is my coworker - he's one of those "it's very important that everyone knows that I am very smart and capable of doing really complicated things" developers, but he's totally awful at considering our users so everything he builds ends up unnecessarily complex for them. What makes things worse is that he's super defensive so any challenge becomes a huge deal. I know it's because he wants to push his way to team lead past the (actually very good) guy who sits on the other side of me, but if problem-coworker becomes team lead I would be asking to move teams...

[deleted] 2 13h4m

I don't want to name names, as I have reported it to the police department of the city where the guy lives.

I joined Reddit maybe 2 months ago, and started off with the normal things, and then after a little while I became a bit more exhibitionist. One guy then started messaging me saying I had to send him pictures or he would send information to my Instagram followers. I called BS, and blocked it, thinking he was just trying, but then, on a new account, he sent me a link to not only my IGx, but also my email address and city I was in. It was a real surprise and honestly made me cry. Someone offered good advice on how to file the report and I have been advised they are investigating, but for now, for the last 2 weeks or so, I wake up to all kinds of threats and demands from accounts just created.

BedsocksToSchool 2 13h32m

My ex. He refuses to leave me alone. Every so often there will be a few months silence my ptsd will calm down and life feels like it is starting to get back to normal and then i'll get a call or a text from him or someone asking about him and my life is thrown back into fear. I dated him when i was 14 he abused me and trapped me with fear now several years on he won't let me go he's desperate for me to tell him that he didn't rape me or try to force me to jump off a bridge or any of the other awful things he did. He only shows me anger but i have to wonder if he is just genuinely terrified either way he isn't my responsibility and my life would be a lot easier if he were dead.

UnluckyWriting 2 14h0m

My soon to be ex husband.

He left me, he wanted the divorce, he started fucking other women while I was still in the house. It’s been traumatic and hard but ultimately I moved out and have been doing my best to move on. We’re mostly no contact with the exception of the final strings of breaking apart our lives (ending our car lease, determining the right setup for our dogs). All I want is for him to the sign the paperwork so we can be done. He is dragging his feet like crazy, just ignores me when I follow up. I stupidly agreed to let him take the dogs when I travel and am going out of town this week, naturally he ignores me when I reach out to find out when I can have them dropped off and picked up, etc. My dogs don’t do well with strangers so I figured it’d be best for them to stay with him but it since he cannot be bothered to write me back I’m now trying to find a last minute dog sitter. (As if I need more stress in my life)

It was devastating being abandoned. It was humiliating being cheated on. Its been an extremely stressful period of time dealing with the emotional pain and the logistical fall out. Why does he have to keep making me feel shitty?!


thedonbonzz 2 15h18m

Coworker. I’m 24 and he’s in his 50s. We have the exact same job, but does that stop him from talking down to me and pretending he knows better than me? Nope!

After our client manager left a few months ago, he volunteered to take over the job until they find a replacement. So basically he is the middle man between a client and a writer. Last week he messaged me and asked me if I could write 2 articles for a client. This client was late with payment, so they have 6 articles that need to be done ASAP. I said I could do 2. Fine. Then he tells me that I have 2 other custom media articles I need to write by the end of June. Had I known about these 2 articles, I wouldn’t have volunteered to do the other articles. I’m already basically working 2 jobs at this company without being properly paid for it (I was hired as a writer but I’ve taken over the social media because it was a mess and literally no one knew how to use it, so I’m essentially the social media manager without the title or pay). I feel like he tricked me into volunteering knowing full well that he needed me to write 2 other difficult articles. Also I hate writing custom media because it’s engineering topics which are boring AF 99% of the time.

This guy has been the bane of my existence for 2 years. He is very loud, which is a big no no in my office full of introverts. We have an open concept office (which is the worst). When he comes into the office he insists on talking to me, even if I have my noise cancelling headphones. He has been asked to be quiet multiple times, and he never quiets down. Which makes me look bad because usually he’s talking to me. He also comes in whenever he wants, sometimes at 11 am. I get into the office at 6:40 so I can leave at 2:40. Every. Day. He comments on “crazy early” I must be coming in to leave that early. It’s been 2 years of my schedule being like this. Our desks are next to each other and EVERY DAY he leaves his chair in my area. It’s like a weird form of manspreading. He bothers me so much.

alchahat121 2 15h27m

My brother. Hes such a POS. You cant bring anything up to him or else he immediately turns the conversation into this aggressive arguing match where he will say ANYTHING to hurt your feelings and "win" the argument. It's crazy. All I said was that the basement where he sleeps has small rocks on the floor and he turned it into a thing where he said you're a grown woman clean it up. Even though it's technically his room.... then he says either you clean it up or it's not getting cleaned because I'm not doing it. I mean seriously wtf. Why cant we be civil? He is so fucking obnoxious we live in my parents house. I've been saving up to move out. I dont want to move out bc I help my parents since their older but jesus christ i cant live with his toxicity anymore.

FanRose 2 16h1m

Your brother needs realise he's not in a discord server

SavanaBanana914 2 15h37m

My landlord. He's obsessed with the garden on the property I'm renting. He used to just stop over whenever he felt like it to garden. My husband put a stop to that. Now he makes weird excuses to come over. Like he needs to check the tag on the oil tank because me taking a picture of it isn't good enough. He then comes over, does what he said, and then gardens for two or three hours before going home. Most recently, he asked to borrow our lawn mower. Sure. So my husband went out and mowed the lawn and left the mower at the bottom of the driveway for our landlord to grab the following morning. I messaged our landlord and told him to be quiet because it was early and my boys were still sleeping. He shows up and brings his dog which immediately woke my kids because my dogs were going crazy. He then started hammering something metal which to this day, I'm still not sure what he was doing lol. Way to be quiet, man. He continues to hang out for three hours, lawn mower still sitting at the bottom of the driveway. He then starts the lawn mower and RE MOWS THE LAWN. Who does that? Trust me when I say it was mowed perfectly and this was completely unnecessary. It's just how anal he is about it. But here's the real zinger. After he was done, he put the lawn mower back in the shed!! He spent so much time gardening, he forgot what his excuse was and left the only thing he was supposed to come over for! This guy is seriously the bane of my existence and I cannot wait to move and be rid of him forever!

prismprismprism 2 15h50m

I'll go with a different perspective.

There's a guy at work who makes me blush just from a look. He's older and wouldn't be considered hot by most, but he checks all of my boxes. We never interact directly, but sometimes attend meetings together. He definitely makes life more difficult: just seeing him at kitchen leaves me in a dreamy state for the whole day. Still scared to talk to him though.

guillotinesoftware 2 16h5m

My older sister (23F) told me last night that in several occasions when our dad has been on business trips, our older brother (25M) has made sexual advances toward her. He referenced her past promiscuity (which she’s not proud of) by saying that he’s “not like other guys she’s been with” and that “it doesn’t matter what society thinks”. He even made her watch a brother sister porno with him and then accused her of borrowing his laptop to watch porn. I (18F) don’t know what to do because my older brother was the sibling I was closest to even though we don’t see each other much now. We all live together and my sister told me that the only reason why this hasn’t happened to me yet is because my room is next to my parents’ room. At the end of the month, my parents are going on a trip and my older siblings and I will be home alone for three weeks. I’m going to do my best to avoid him.

Also on Sunday, before I knew about my older brother being a pervert, we went to the beach with my two younger brothers (14M and 11M). The beach was more than an hour away and once we got there, my older brother said he was leaving. I didn’t get what he meant by that so I just said ok. The lunch money our parents gave us was in his possession and he left with it. He took the car to visit his friends, leaving us at the beach all afternoon and we had only eaten breakfast. Luckily I packed two snacks to share between my younger brothers and I but we were still pretty hungry. He left us at 1 pm and came back at 5 pm. It took a while for him to apologize but he did.

Right now I’m just trying to minimize my interactions with him as much as possible. I’m so disappointed and am in such disbelief.

MaddiKate 2 16h8m

My last ex. I have no reason to be upset about him rn. He is completely out of my life- off social media, no mutual friends or mutual hangouts, etc. I am in a new relationship that is healthy and get treated like a queen. And I am over him. But there's this part of me that's still so ashamed of the way I let him treat me. There's still things he said or did that haunt me, even if they weren't abusive. Like, I truly did not ever think I'd date again until current man entered my life because I believe the lies my ex told me. But it's like... there's this specific part of that past relationship I cannot reconcile.

alittlebitcheeky 2 16h37m

My partner.

We've been on the rocks for the last year, and I've started moving on my plan to leave. We agreed a year ago that we would stay together and try to make it work, and we outlined what we wanted from each other.

I've held up my end of the bargain. I went for two promotions at work (missed out both times), found a better job when opportunities dried up, have been retraining as a phlebotomist, and have massively improved my employment and career prospects. I've also dedicated a lot of time to my mental health and tackling my PTSD.

All I asked of him was to stop telling sexist, racist, homophobic, and ableist jokes. And that instead of telling terrible jokes he could educate himself a little in the group's he is shitting on. But nope. He doesn't want to change his lousy views.

The difficult part for me right now is I'm trying to do a bunch of final assessments for my phlebotomy course and he is LOUDLY playing Seinfeld clips on YouTube. I've asked him not to do this during my assessments before. I told him I had work to do. I've asked him to wear headphones.

Nope. Gotta drive me up the wall instead. Moving out can't come soon enough.

yermom79 2 16h37m

I just found out my boyfriend has been posting requests for gay and/or couple hookups on a hookup site since April. So I've got that going for me.

knight1096 2 16h40m

I have an employee who is a Team Lead that reports to me (so he manages a staff). He has been with the company for 15+ years. Ever since I started at my job, he has always passive aggressively pushed back on non-negotiable metrics that come from senior management. He wants to know exactly how they are pulled from the common reporting system and never agrees with the level set by four bosses above me. He always tries to somehow sneakily change the report or pull it some obscure way to and as he said “make sure that his team looks good”. I have explained to him (as has my boss) that you do the best you can and document why you didn’t hit a number come review time. In the last two reviews, it’s never been an issue.

I was doing a weekly 1:1 with him a few months ago and he told me that he was upset with me because I didn’t know our product very well and I need training. I tried to explain to him that as a Manager, my job is to know the high level and be able to strategically run the business of the product and pull in experts when needed. My boss also told him this. He will try to well-technically mansplane on me by replying to all on emails. He kicked me out of our team meetings and said that it was “his team” to which my boss replied absolutely not.

I came to find out from my boss that this employee had applied for my job and she felt that he wasn’t the right fit so he basically passively aggressively takes it out on me.

He’s getting more and more difficult to manage and I literally have to sit down and do his mid year review right now and I’m dreading it. He was pissy yesterday because he has to do his 6 employees reviews and when I told him I have to help his peer out by also doing his reviews (this employee is working on an extremely important and heavily involved new client implementation) and I have to work on more than he does (IT’S YOUR JOB).

He will throw an absolute shit fit if he gets less than Exceeds Many.

Thank you for listening to my rant, I feel better.

Xannarial 2 17h20m

Right now it's my team lead at work....he's new to the position, but was an assistant team lead at a bigger store....so he should be able to handle it. But he just....cant? He's forgetful and awkward. He can't be relied upon to do things and my department is basically falling apart....Regional was here yesterday, and my department (nested within a bigger department, still small tho...) bombed her walk through.

I discovered he hasn't been sending her my daily reports for inventory, which would have solved this fucking problem in the first place......I'm tired of feeling like I suck at my job....today is one of my days off. I'm supposed to go back tomorrow, and I just.....I'm so tired of this.

blue_sticky_notes 2 17h30m

I have a guy friend who recently admitted long term feelings for me. I've never felt that way for him but he felt the need to admit them at the wrong time when I expressed interest in a mutual friend.

He says he's dealt with his feelings for me but he's constantly blowing up my phone, asking to hang out alone, etc., to the point that our mutual friends are uncomfortable. It definitely got worse after he broke up with his long term girlfriend.

I just haven't found the strength to get a little bitchy and tell him he needs to back off. But I'm really tired of people making comments like it's my fault he's acting strange when it's really not. So we'll see how it goes. I'm gonna try to message him today.

pantsuwu 2 18h32m

I have a friend that was in a similar situation :( I hope things work out for you!!

blue_sticky_notes 2 18h36m

Thanks!! I hope so too.

BabyFennecFox 2 17h32m

I've been seeing a guy for 1.5 months and I have no idea if we're just hooking up or actually dating. He has a big exam in two months so I know he's really busy and we don't text much but he's been giving me a lot of mixed signals.

When we’re physically together, everything is almost perfect. He’s attentive and sweet and tells me he was looking forward to seeing me all week, but we’ve only had sleepovers at his apartment since we started having sex about a month ago even though we do other things like baking cookies and watching movies. I didn’t think too much of it since he would make me breakfast and tell me that he loves my eyes and how dorky I am, but this past date was a little weird. When we met up on Friday, we hugged but he didn’t kiss me as a greeting and then we went back to his place and he was super affectionate. We spent half of the next day together and decided to go out for lunch. At one point, I held his hand and he goes “oh. Are we holding hands now?” and I felt weird about it after he said that and was just like “oh. We don’t have to if you don’t want to” and loosened up my hand but he didn’t let go so we kept walking but about 30 seconds later, I felt weird about it, so I let go. We had a good conversation during lunch and when we separated, we hugged but he didn’t kiss me goodbye.

I'm normally a pretty chill girl but this dude is confusing the shit out of me.

bsgothbitch 2 17h47m

Lil gay dude at my work who has a personal vendetta against me. He's harassed me since starting my job nearly 3 years ago. Ive been reporting his abuse to no avail. Wish me luck maintaining my sanity so I an continue affording to live on my own...

Panda-Chang 2 18h6m

My math teacher. :C

sinna-bunz 2 19h26m

My SO. He's in the hospital with sepsis and I'm here, at work at a different hospital and I can't do anything for him. I feel so helpless and I'm so frustrated and I feel so guilty and I just want him to come home. I'd give anything to have him home with me tonight, but he's got several more days before that's even a possibility. I miss him horribly.

anntilathehun 2 20h48m

the oversharing fedex guy who comes into my office almost daily and makes weird nihilist comments.

daily interaction:

[him: "hi how are you?"

me: I'm good, thanks"

him: "yeah, I can tell because you're smiling so much" /s

me: "..."

me: (dreading response) "and how are you?"

him: "oh you know-" and then ANY OR ALL OF THE BELOW

A. shrugging towards infinity (???)

B. great. love finding out who truly cares for me.

C. i've learned that a lot of people love me but no one likes me.

me: ........................well have a good one.]

He also, like, asked if I had a boyfriend in a weird accusatory way?

[him: i'm collecting data. You have a boyfriend, don't you?

me: um, actually, i'm engaged.

him: yeah...that sounds about right.]

such a fucking edgelord. everyone in the office thinks he's soooo cute and i'm just like, ok, YOU listen to his weird existential dread every day.

lilymcgonagall 18h36m

Hi beautiful people,

Please note all rules are still in place, particularly our gendered slurs rule.

Please see this link for more information on gendered slurs and why we don’t permit them.

-AW Mods