You know once I attended this training program where the participants were asked to compliment felow colleagues looking straight into their eyes for the duration of the entire compliment.

I’ll be honest. It wasnt easy at all.Some didnt even manage to complete the sentence before looking away,for some they went through the motions but only just.

So the other day someone walked up to me and paid a compliment and it set me thinking -when was the last time I gave a genuine compliment to people around me? And to my horror i realised it was a long long time ago when I was deep trouble.So when there was no trouble,there was no compliment.

Now one might question,what happens if we just go out there and compliment someone.?The authenticity of complimenting out of the blue could be misread.It could be a sign of sucking up, flirting,or even give a feeling to the other party that you are upto something else lurking in the corner.

It is generally an accepted notion that one should have a low need for approval in this day and age – and in many cases rightly so. Which in simple terms means, you should be indifferent. Whether someone praises you or criticizes you should become immaterial or of no consequence whatsoever.You continue just the way you want, and intend to.

For some this comes quite naturally, for some it is unfathomable.Both have their pros and cons well etched out.So what does one do? Because not complimenting at all is certainly not a good idea.But how can we make it sound genuine?

Think about it.

  • Is it body language?
  • a warm smile perhaps.
  • one complement doesnt fit all – customise.
  • space it out evenly.
  • Remove the element of expectation of a return from your mind.
  • Be under no pressure.
  • Make solid eye contact.

Chances are if you follow these,you just might go sky high in the ladder of success.People like talking to amiable,congenial,sweet and smily kind of people.Who other than a counter grumpy would like to work with another grumpy?

So folks,this week, make it  a point to go out there and genuinely pay someone a compliment.

Remember,in life, what you sow is what you row with !



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5 thoughts on “Compliments

  1. First of all, your article was on speaking tree. It said ‘to continue reading click here…’, After clicking on the article it took me somewhere else and again said ‘to continue reading click here…’ On the third click it finally took me to the article. However, all in all, the article was good and was worth a few clicks. And that is a genuine compliment

  2. I enjoyed reading this!
    I think in the Indian context paying compliments is much easier than receiving them. So often if you compliment someone here, they’ll brush it aside or put themselves down in some way. There was an unwritten understanding too that if you complimented children, it would go to their heads.
    However, like you say, there’s nothing better than paying a genuine compliment and receiving one too!

    • Mostly people confuse between being humble and smart. The trouble starts when humility becomes a chronic underconfidence and smartness becomes over-confidence.

      Thanks for appreciating.

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