Ghost Are Real and Heaven Exists According to Teen

A young teen has recently reported "paranormal activity" in his home after noticing some bizarre things.  A socially inept teen, Roger, tried seeking the advice of his friends, but the few (one) he had simply pointed and laughed at him.

"i'm pretty sure my house is haunted"
"what ghost would wanna hang out with you nerd"

While Roger was sleeping he noted that certain items had gone missing from his room and his desktop background was changed to a picture of a dildo.  The teen also claims that a voice saying very personal things makes fun of him every night from "under his bed" but he is "too much of a pussy to look".
"the ghost or whatever said my parents got a divorce because of me"
"it also said it was mega gay that i used to play with Bratz dolls"

ghost comic
sometimes ghosts can be fun

Roger's dad, who he currently lives with, commented on the subject.
"i couldn't have had a less rad child"
"first he LARPs and now i gotta deal with this shit"

Determined to prove he isn't a crazy lonely nerd, Roger devised a plan to finally have a witness to the odd events that have been transpiring in his house.
"wanna sleep over my house and see for yourself?"
"not really"
"come on it won't be gay"
"i swear to god if you try to touch me i will knock your lights out boy"

This is the actual transcript of the events of that night.
ghost - "roger you're gay"
ghost - "your friend is gay too"
roger - "i told you!"
friend - "it's definitely coming from under the bed"
ghost - "no shit, look under here pussy"
*friend looks under bed*
friend - "'s your dad"
*dad comes out double hand pistoling*