College jokes

Jokes » college


college roast
A: Pay for the pizza.

Q: Why did Clemson choose orange as a school color?


A: His freshman year.

A: They didn't want the cheerleaders to graze at halftime.

Q: Why do Wake Forest cheerleaders wear bibs?
A: To keep the tobacco juice off the uniforms.


top ten ways to freak out your roommate


8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, 'The hair, it's growing. Growing!'

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, 'Soon, soon....'


5) Tell your roommate, 'I've got an important message for you.' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, 'Oh, yeah, I remember!' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.


3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, 'Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?' Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, 'Hooray! You're back!' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, 'Shouldn't you be going somewhere?'

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, 'No, I want to watch them suffer.'

ways to annoy bathroom friends
1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, 'May I borrow a highlighter?'
2. 'Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that.'
4. 'Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.'
5. 'Damn, this water is cold.'
7. 'Now how did that get there?'
8. 'Hummus. Reminds me of hummus.'
9. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,'Whoa! Easy boy!!'
10. ' Interesting....more sinkers than floaters'
11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,'Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
12. 'C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
13. 'Boy, that sure looks like a maggot'
16. Before you unroll toliet paper, conspicusly lay down your 'Cross-Dressers Anonymous' newsletter on the floor visiable to the adjacent stall.
17. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, 'Peek-a-boo!'
18. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing 'Born Free.'
relieving stress in class
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
4. Address the professor as "your excellency".

Page 1 of 28     Next »»