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A Guide To Meeting Her Parents

A Guide To Meeting Her Parents

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© Universal Pictures You've managed to impress her as well as her friends, but there will be no sigh of relief just yet.

You haven't met the parents yet, have you? Well, unless your girlfriend and her parents are at odds, chances are you'll be shaking hands with the Mr. and Mrs. sooner or later. You might as well go in prepared.

taking notes

Would you go to a job interview for IBM without knowing what IBM stood for? (No, it isn't Internationally Best Machine.)

You should have the same attitude regarding meeting your girlfriend's parents; it can be ruthless, and you need to do some research.

This means asking your girlfriend what you should know about her parents and family, including what line of work they are or were in, whether they're serious or have a sense of humor, whether they prefer people who are outgoing or more reserved, etc.

As well, ask your girlfriend for the important tidbits concerning her family situation, like if her parents are remarried, if either of her parents has another child, and whether her grandparents are still alive, for example.

If you've been with your girlfriend for a while and are making the transition to the serious stage, then chances are you'll already know the essential information, but it's always better to get the whole scoop and be aware of her entire family situation.

I don't even need to illustrate the disaster that could occur if her father is a former Marines General, and you tell him you don't care to defend your country in war, or if you refer to her bodacious stepmother as the father's daughter, if her parents are divorced.

Asking your girlfriend questions about her family will also help you score points with her, as it will show her that you care to make the necessary effort with her family, and that you're interested in her family life.

it's not oedipal

It's a given that you want your girlfriend's parents to tell her what a good catch you are. But at the same time, you can't go overboard. Your aim is to get along with both parents and get on their good sides, but I'm going to let you in on a little secret: her mother is also your ally.

This really depends on who your girlfriend is closer to — her mother or her father — but her mother is really the one who holds the power. She's the one who'll invite you over for dinner, she's the one who will defend you if you ever get on her father's bad side, and she's the one who will stick up for you if your girlfriend is crying over what a jerk you are.

Fathers will always have a harder time accepting you; you're the man in her life now (at least that's how he looks at it), and she'll go to you with her problems rather than her pops. Dad will always be an obstacle, but if tackled properly, you can get on his good side.

Here's the clincher: you don't want to become best friends with dad, unless your girlfriend's really close to her father. Get on her dad's good side, but don't go on fishing trips with him, don't have inside jokes with him about your girlfriend, and refrain from discussing legal papers all night if you're both lawyers. In her eyes, you don't want to seem like a guy who would be her dad's best friend if you were the same age. You want to be considered the son he never had (or does have).

There are several occasions in which you'll meet the parents, such as picking her up for a date (if she still lives at home), or a special occasion like a birthday, or a holiday dinner. The following guidelines apply to most situations.

You're invited to dinner and want to make a great first impression...

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