Lost In Space (1965) s02e06 Episode Script

The Prisoners of Space

[ Man Narrating ] Last week, as you recall, we left Will and the Robot watching Dr.
Smith's secret experiments in wine-making.
Unaware that within moments, they and their entire space family would be hopelessly imprisoned by mysterious, unseen aliens.
- Well? - It's still all clear outside, Dr.
There, steady.
Keep up a steady flow of current.
Warning! Alien presence.
Warning! Alien presence.
Warning! Alien presence, indeed.
It appears to me that you have alien presence on the mind lately.
However, William, would you be good enough to go outside and have a look? Dr.
Smith, we know something's out there.
The Robot's never wrong.
Sometimes he is.
I'd go myself, you see, but this is a critical time in wine-making, you do understand? [ Screams ] Well, do something, your cowardly clump! Protect us! My power supply has been drained.
It is extremely low.
He hasn't got enough energy for an electrical charge.
[ Screams ] Help! Help! Help! Come along! [ Whimpering ] - [ Gasps ] - It's all right, sir.
It's only me.
William, you shouldn't be skulking behind rocks.
It's very disconcerting.
- Is that thing still following us? - [ Growling ] - Your question is answered.
- Then what are we waiting for? Come along, Will! [ Growling ] - Warning! Warning! - Arm yourselves! Everyone inside! - What happened? - Turn on the force field! - What happened? - Dad, we're being followed by some kind of monster.
[ Growling ] Don't fire till I give the order.
[ Growling Continues ] - He's close enough.
- Let's see what he's gonna do.
I wonder what that strange-looking box is? There's one way to find out.
If you want my opinion, you'll stay well away from that diabolical contraption.
- It could've been left there to destroy us all.
- What are we supposed to do? Wish it away? Attention.
Attention! By order of the Galaxy Tribunal of Justice you are hereby notified that charges have been brought against you for crimes committed in space.
Maureen Robinson, William Robinson Judy Robinson, Penny Robinson.
These persons are to hold themselves in readiness to testify before the Tribunal.
- Now what was that all about? - Tribunal of Justice? It is responsible for judging and punishing all crimes committed in interstellar space.
[ High-pitched Beep ] All accused will now consider themselves under house arrest.
Do not attempt to leave the area.
The fence is highly energized.
- Well? - The audio unit operates on solar energy and is capable of picking up ultrasonic radio frequencies from great distances.
Any information on how far away the sender might be? I am sorry.
It does not compute.
What about this fence? Is there any chance of getting through it? Negative.
It remains highly energized and will cause fatal injury if touched.
The moving lights act as a radar pickup.
Well, the Tribunal of Justice has made a mistake.
- We aren't guilty of any crimes in space.
- I'm not so sure of that, madam.
Who knows what outlandish alien laws we may have inadvertently broken.
Oh, well, surely even in space justice will protect the innocent - and punish the guilty.
- A very naive concept, my dear lady.
You know, for once Smith may be right.
Anyone notice he wasn't named in the indictment? Quite right, Major.
And it is because I am without guilt.
Oh, I may have a few minor faults, but, after all - to err occasionally is only human.
- [ Forced Laugh ] My computers have suddenly had a reaction.
If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to be sick.
That lugubrious lump fancies himself a comedian.
But the moment I stop oiling him, he'll creak a different tune.
There's nothing more we can do about our situation tonight.
I suggest the children go to bed.
All right, Will, Penny? In you go.
- Good night.
- I think I'll turn in too.
Good night.
I'll be in in a little while.
Well, at least we still have access to the garden.
That's something.
Yes, and we have lots of water.
Oh, I'm sure the whole thing is just a silly error - and in the morning it'll all be straightened out.
- Well, I hope so.
That electric fence around the campsite could be dangerous.
We've gotta be careful not to touch it.
The next time the alien voice communicates with us I'm going to insist that some way be found for me to leave the area.
After all, there is no reason that I should be kept a prisoner.
I am innocent.
I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, Dr.
Spending a little time with a bunch of jailbirds shouldn't hurt your reputation.
I'm sure Professor Robinson and his family will be cleared.
But, I fear for you, Major.
You are very definitely the criminal type.
Halt! Identify yourself.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Dr.
Zachary Smith.
What is it you want? As you're probably well aware, I was not included in your indictment.
And if I may say so, sir, you are absolutely right.
I have always been a model citizen.
Get to the point, please.
May I suggest that you talk a bit more softly.
I would prefer that our conversation was not overheard.
As I was saying, I have always been on the side of law and order.
Now, I don't know how much evidence you've collected against the others but I'm sure you could use a bit more.
And how would you accomplish this? A small tape recorder in a strategic spot.
It's really a very simple matter, I assure you.
- You would betray your friends? - Betray? I? My dear sir, you misjudge me.
All I want is to see justice prevail.
And the information I gather might well prove the others innocent instead of guilty.
I understand your reasoning very well, Dr.
I had hoped you would, sir.
And now, may we discuss payment for my services? Surely it would be a very small matter indeed for you to make arrangements to return me to Earth.
Shall I assume we have an agreement, sir? The Galaxy Tribunal of Justice needs no help, Dr.
We have all the evidence necessary for a conviction.
- But, surely I-- - Your offer of aid is rejected.
You are not concerned with justice.
Now, go, before charges are brought against you for attempting to bribe the court.
- Go! - Yes, sir.
- Would you like a little more coffee, Don? - Hmm? Oh, no thanks, Maureen.
All right, Major West, out with it.
Oh-- What-- I'm sorry, what? Look, when you don't have any breakfast and only have one cup of coffee - I know you're worried about something.
- [ Chuckles ] John, I don't like this court trial business.
From our point of view, we haven't done anything wrong, but Smith happens to be right when he says the aliens think differently.
Well, Major, did I hear you remark that I was right about something? Then surely this must be a red-letter day in our association.
It was an accident on my part, Smith, and already I regret it.
I'll eat this, if you don't mind, Major.
Waste not, want not.
An axiom you've apparently forgotten.
We were just discussing the indictments that were brought against us.
You know, we may have unintentionally broken some of the laws of space.
But the children were charged too.
Surely they couldn't have done anything.
My feelings exactly, madam.
Your children are perfect lambs.
I will be more than happy to testify to that fact.
Attention! Attention! Attention, John Robinson.
John Robinson, are you present? - Yes.
- You are hereby summoned to appear before the Galaxy Tribunal of Justice immediately.
- John, don't go.
- Failure to obey the Tribunal's summons will be considered an admission of guilt and punishment will be meted out to all accordingly.
I think I'll do as they want.
Besides, what have we got to be worried about? - I'll do as you ask.
- You have made a wise decision.
Professor Robinson, you will step forward into the molecular transfer beam.
[ High-pitched Whirring ] - There is no danger.
- Oh, John.
Don't worry, darling.
I'll be back.
Poor Professor Robinson.
Poor, poor man.
I wonder if we shall ever see him again.
[ Alien ] Hear ye, hear ye hear ye.
The Galaxy Tribunal of Justice is now in session.
The defendant is cautioned to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
[ Alien #2 ] John Robinson-- Are you ready to answer the charges against you? What charges? I've done nothing wrong, and neither has my family.
The Tribunal will decide your innocence or guilt.
Activate the memory machine.
- [ Whirring ] - Think back, John Robinson.
Back to the beginning of your journey into space.
Why, that's Alpha Control on Earth.
Yes, John Robinson.
Your memory has returned to the past.
That's my son, Will, taking his final physical exam.
- Am I okay, Doctor? Did I pass? - You'll do.
Did you hear that, Mom? I'm okay.
No need for any of you to worry about your physical condition.
You're all in top shape and ready to go.
I envy you your adventure.
According to your memory pattern, John Robinson your launch into space was perfect.
That's correct.
Then how do you account for the fact that your spacecraft was off course? Dr.
Smith was trapped in the Jupiter 2 at takeoff.
His additional weight upset our navigational balance.
Tell us, John Robinson.
With your navigational balance disrupted could you have returned to Earth? - Yes, I think so.
- Then why didn't you? Something went wrong with our robot's programming.
[ Whirring ] Stop it! I order you to stop! Negative.
No, no.
Do you hear me? Abort! Abort! Abort! Destroy.
We're out of control.
Does anyone else wish to question the witness? Very well.
Deactivate the memory machine.
We will consider the testimony you have given.
- You are dismissed.
- [ Growling ] Then this voice said I was dismissed and I found myself back at the campsite.
That memory machine sounds like quite a piece of equipment.
[ Chuckles ] Truth serum with pictures.
Yes, there'll be very little lying in that courtroom.
Tell me, Professor, during your testimony, my name wasn't brought up, was it? In a minor way it was.
What's the matter, Smith? Are you worried? Certainly not, Major.
You forget-- I was not named in the indictment.
Oh, that's right too.
Now I know what they mean when they say "Justice is blind.
" - From what Dad told us, I think he did pretty well.
- So do I.
Maybe Dad's testimony will be enough, and we won't have to appear before the Tribunal.
I'm afraid not, son.
The memory machine can only pick up one person's point of view.
I'm afraid the aliens are going to have to interrogate all of us to get a complete picture.
It's sort of like putting the pieces of a puzzle together.
Well, I know some pieces to that puzzle the aliens won't find-- what pleasant memories our good Dr.
Smith has locked away in that scheming mind of his.
My conscience is crystal clear and clean, Major.
However, as I've said many times before one never knows what the alien is thinking, and with that in mind I would appreciate it if all of you would keep me out of your thoughts while testifying.
Attention! Attention! Attention, Major West.
You are hereby summoned to appear before the Tribunal immediately.
Well, they aren't wasting any time, are they? Major West, you will step into the molecular transfer beam without delay.
I'll see you folks later.
Don't mention my name, Major.
A question, Major West.
Have you ever seen this before? This looks like a wrench from the Jupiter 2.
Where'd you get it? It was found floating in space.
Yes, this must be the tool that John lost when he went outside the spaceship to fix the scanner.
He lost a contaminated wrench.
A deadly danger to anyone who happened to come in contact with it.
You don't understand.
You see, it wasn't his fault.
- You may explain.
- [ Whirring ] [ Don ] We had just gone through a meteor storm and our inertial guidance scanner outside the ship had been severely damaged.
John-- Professor Robinson, that is-- had gone out with some equipment to try to repair it.
Somehow, his line to the ship broke.
I can't understand how.
Smith claimed that he checked it out thoroughly just before John went out.
Anyway, the line broke and Professor Robinson was adrift in space.
We finally managed to shoot a line to him and get him back but it all comes down to one thing.
The loss of the wrench was really my fault.
- I do not understand.
- I was the experienced space pilot.
At the time, John Robinson was unfamiliar with weightlessness.
Yet, you let Professor Robinson go outside? He was in command of the voyage.
I had to follow his orders.
- He insisted on doing it himself.
- That's one explanation.
Another would be you didn't want to risk the danger.
You're way out of line! You're twisting the facts.
I would've gone.
That will be enough, Major West.
This tribunal will not tolerate anger.
- I'd like to make a statement.
- You've said enough.
You're dismissed.
These vegetables have reached maturity.
They will make excellent coleslaw.
It will also go well with corned beef.
I said corned beef and cabbage, Dr.
I loathe corned beef and cabbage.
How can you think of eating at a time like this? I was under the impression you are always interested in eating.
How little you know me, you parsimonious puppet.
It is obvious that you have problems.
Would you like to discuss them with me? I don't like the way this court trial is going.
I don't like it at all.
But you have no reason to worry.
You were not indicted.
That is the primary reason for my concern.
Why wasn't I indicted? I'm as guilty of mistakes as any of the others.
That is an understatement if ever I have heard one.
In my opinion, you are responsible for all the mistakes.
Hold your tongue, you bubbleheaded booby.
Suppose the aliens have this place wired and are listening? We may speak without fear.
The area has no hidden microphones.
One never knows what those monsters are up to.
I now understand.
If the aliens should ask you to testify then the truth would be revealed.
So far I've been fortunate.
No one has involved me.
Perhaps they won't.
Who is testifying now? Will.
I do hope the boy is able to keep his wits about him.
William Robinson, perhaps you had better start from the beginning.
We first sighted the derelict spaceship when we were lost in space.
We were just minding our own business and all of a sudden, that ship kind of opened up and swallowed us.
[ Alien #2 ] But there is more to your story.
All I did after that was just wander off.
When you entered the bubble chamber, you automatically caused the space colonist within to become defrosted.
But I didn't have any way of knowing that.
By defreezing the bubble creatures you shortened their life span, William Robinson.
I-I'm really sorry, sir.
I didn't know.
You are young, but ignorance of the laws of space is no excuse.
We cannot allow trespassers from the Earth to come into space break our laws, then go unpunished.
Maybe we have made some mistakes in the past, sir and we're sorry about them.
- Couldn't you just forget them and let us start over again? - You ask for the impossible.
The wheels of justice have been put into motion.
- They must travel their course.
- Yes, sir.
One thing more.
The Tribunal has a message for Dr.
Tell him that tomorrow he will be summoned to testify.
William Robinson, you are dismissed.
[ Maureen ] I wonder what's keeping Dr.
Smith? - It's empty, but I don't believe it.
- [ Maureen Chuckles ] - Oh, hello, dear.
- Dr.
Smith says he isn't very hungry.
He asked if he could please be excused from the table.
[ John ] That's the first time I recall he's ever missed a meal.
- Well, you suppose he's ill? - III? He's sick.
Sick with worry.
Testifying tomorrow has really shaken him up.
Smith told me he didn't mind appearing before the Tribunal.
It was the memory machine he didn't like.
Sure, and you know why? I'll tell you why.
Because for the first time in his life, he's going to have to tell the truth.
That's going to be a whole new experience for our dear Dr.
Personally, I can't say that I blame him.
- Why? - Well, that courtroom, it's not a very friendly place.
I'm sorry Dr.
Smith has to go, but I'm sure glad they called him before me.
That makes two of us, Penny.
- Will, you're not eating.
- I'm not very hungry.
- Oh? - May I be excused from the table? - What's the matter, son? - Dr.
Smith is really worried, sir, and he's all alone.
I thought it would be nice if I kept him company.
- Sure.
Go on.
- Thank you.
All right.
Tell Dr.
Smith I'll keep his dinner warm.
- You can both eat together later.
- Okay.
Oh, and I made such a lovely meat loaf.
Cheer up, Dr.
All is not lost.
- Spare me the platitudes.
I'm doomed.
- Dr.
Smith? I've come to keep you company, sir.
You're a true friend, William.
I can think of no one with whom I would rather spend my last few hours of freedom.
The alien tribunal only wants to ask you a few questions, Dr.
It won't be so bad.
I'm afraid not, my boy.
I have a sixth sense about these things.
Tomorrow will see the end of Dr.
What you have said is true.
If the memory recaller reveals the past, then your fate is indeed sealed.
The voice of doom is heard in the land.
- Then you mustn't testify, Dr.
- Easier said than done, my boy.
- There is a way you can escape.
- Escape? Bah! What do you suggest I do? Grow a set of wings and fly over the fence? You will never have to worry about becoming an angel, Dr.
How dare you? I am being faced with destruction you disreputable dunderhead, and you make inane jokes? - What did you have in mind? - I've considered the matter carefully.
- An escape is possible.
- Well, stop chattering and tell me how.
It will require daring, courage, determination fortitude and split-second timing.
Daring, courage, fortitude? I have all of those attributes.
- Now, what do you have in mind? - This is what must be done.
- Shh! - Shh! - Shh! Tonight, when everyone is asleep-- Psst! Psst! There is grave danger of being detected.
- We must be extremely careful.
- I still don't think it will work.
The moment the radar beam hits us, the aliens will know we're here.
I'm extremely big.
If you stay in my shadow, then the radar will reveal only my presence.
What if it doesn't work that way? Then the game is lost.
Very quiet, please.
- The light is approaching.
- [ Gasps ] Who goes there? Identify yourself.
It is only me, the Robinson Robot.
What are you doing out here? The others have long ago gone to sleep.
A robot does not need sleep.
You evade the question.
Why do you move about? I have been programmed to patrol the area to protect the Earthlings from danger.
Nothing may enter.
Nothing may leave.
Nevertheless, I must perform my duties.
I cannot change my programming.
Very well.
You may proceed.
Do not touch the fence.
I am well aware of the danger.
Let us go.
But, stay close.
- Remember, very quiet.
- Yes, very quiet.
- I've got the shovel.
- Shh! Very quiet.
- Shh! Quiet, you hear.
- Quiet.
- Quiet.
- I'm quiet! - Shh! Quiet.
- Quiet.
Now, get busy.
I will protect you from the radar.
If the light returns, get in my shadow quickly.
Make sure you don't touch the fence, Dr.
Yes, Will.
I'll be extremely careful.
Hurry, Will.
Hurry! I would help you, but my back is a disaster area today.
- Oh, pain.
The pain.
- Dig, don't talk.
The aliens will become suspicious if I remain in this spot any longer.
You must try to squeeze under the fence, Dr.
The hole is not deep enough.
You must try or it will be too late.
- If I touch that fence, I'll be barbecued.
- You can make it, Dr.
Would you rather remain here and testify tomorrow? I can't! I can't! The light is approaching.
Quickly! - [ Alien ] Robot, what are you doing there? - Hurry, Dr.
One of my computers needed adjustment.
I have been repairing it.
You will move away from the fence immediately.
- Go.
Go on! - A final warning.
- Move away! - I will obey your command.
I will have to move or they will destroy me and in so doing, destroy Will.
Attention! Attention! Dr.
Zachary Smith is hereby summoned to testify before the Galaxy Tribunal.
Attention! Attention! Dr.
Smith will come forth.
Where is Smith? His moment of truth has arrived.
I don't know.
I haven't seen him this morning.
- You think he could still be asleep? - I'll check.
Smith! Maybe he's hiding out back somewhere.
- Ah, could be.
Let's take a look.
- Okay.
Smith, the Tribunal is waiting.
Come forward at once.
Smith isn't here.
He escaped last night.
He was afraid to testify.
The witness could not have left this area without help.
You will all be severely punished for what you have done.
No one knew about the escape except myself and the Robot.
You will all be punished! You can't blame the others.
They're not responsible for what happened.
The penalty for aiding a witness to escape is five years imprisonment on the planet Dolfirm.
No, you can't.
The others had nothing to do with it.
I didn't mean to get anyone in trouble.
Would it help if I got Dr.
Smith to come back? - Do you know where he is? - Not exactly, but but I could find him-- I'm sure I could.
If you are released, how would we know that you would return? Because I would.
I promise.
Very well, William Robinson.
You will be released.
If you do not return in two hours then your family will be taken to the prison on Dolfirm.
I'll bring Dr.
Smith back.
Don't worry.
Very well, William Robinson.
You may go.
I, too, wish permission to search.
I, too, am responsible for what has happened.
You may go.
- We found you! - Your good health, gentlemen.
- Well, have you escaped too? - The aliens let us out.
We have come for you, Dr.
- You must return with us.
- They're blaming everyone for your escape.
Unless you come back, they're gonna send us all to a prison on another planet.
I'm terribly sorry, my dear boy.
Really I am.
We haven't got much time left.
We'll have to hurry.
- We must return in - Come on, Dr.
I would really like to do as you wish, William, but, unfortunately, I can't.
You see, if I testify, the results will be disastrous.
For me.
But you can't let everyone else go to prison for something they didn't even do.
I know what you're thinking, William.
But this is a question of survival.
It is every man for himself.
Smith does not understand the importance of the matter.
If you'll excuse us for a moment, I am sure I can explain the situation.
- If you will come with me, Dr.
- [ Gasps ] You will come back by your own decision, or I will carry you back.
How dare you threaten me, you tyrannical tinplate! Unhand me at once, you hear? Which will it be? By your own volition, or must I force you? One way, you may keep Will's friendship and respect.
- And the other way-- - Very well.
I shall return.
I'll never forgive you for this.
William, my dear boy, I have reconsidered.
When the welfare of the group is involved then the individual must sacrifice his personal safety.
- Then you're coming back with me, sir? - Indeed I am.
As that most noble character Sydney Carton said in A Tale of Two Cities "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done.
" Never fear, Smith is here.
You'll pay dearly for this.
Come along, William.
You too, you ridiculous roustabout.
The Tribunal is waiting, Dr.
Yes, I know.
Well, my dear boy, we have come to the parting of the ways.
Think kindly sometimes of dear Dr.
You'll be back, sir.
I know it.
I don't have your youthful confidence.
- Good-bye, all.
- We're all wishing you the best of luck, Dr.
Thank you, dear, dear, lady.
- Farewell.
- [ Whirring ] [ Whimpers ] Where am I? What is this place? I don't like it.
Smith, you have greatly inconvenienced this tribunal.
Have you anything to say in your defense? I do indeed, Your Honor.
I ran away to protect my friends.
I was afraid my testimony would prove injurious to their case.
A very noble gesture.
Activate memory machine.
[ Gasping ] What is wrong, Dr.
Smith? - This contraption won't work with me.
- And why not? Because my mental processes are much too complicated.
All you're going to get is a series of confused facts.
Do not worry, Dr.
The truth will be uncovered.
Very well, but you've been warned.
Testimony has been given that you were accidentally trapped on the Jupiter 2-- - [ Growls ] - and forced to come along with the Robinson party.
That is absolutely correct, sir.
Will you tell this tribunal the circumstances which led up to this unfortunate happening? I would be most happy to, sir.
You see I had gone aboard the Jupiter 2 to make a final check.
- Merely a routine inspection.
- Then why were you in hiding? I was only resting after a trying day.
I assure you that my heart was with these wonderful space pioneers and I was trying to make sure their trip to the heavens was a safe and a secure one.
At exactly launch plus eight hours inertial guidance system, destroy.
Radio transmitter, destroy.
Cabin pressure control system, destroy.
You see? I told you that machine wouldn't work with me.
That is not what actually happened.
Then the truth is you entered the spaceship for the purpose of sabotaging it.
Of course not.
I've never heard of anything so ridiculous.
Now, this is what really happened.
I made some minor adjustments on the Robot.
You are lying, Dr.
Look at the memory machine.
We will continue with the testimony.
Smith William Robinson testified that he accidentally defrosted the bubble creatures on the derelict spaceship.
Will you tell your version of this incident? Oh, yes I will, sir.
I have always had the utmost regard for aliens.
It is true that they may be a bit different from me physically-- Let me try.
Uh, we are from the planet Earth.
Uh, we're perfectly willing to stay here if you show me how your guidance system can get us back there.
My parents are on the Jupiter 2 spaceship and my sisters and Major West--he's our pilot.
And Dr.
Smith here, well he just seemed to be aboard when we lifted off.
He's not interested in your passenger list.
Ask him something sensible.
I can't ask him anything till I get him to realize I don't mean him any harm.
We are friendly.
We're from the planet Earth.
- We are on our way to Alpha Centauri.
- No, no.
Back to Earth! He doesn't seem to read me no matter what I say.
- He'll read this.
- [ Crackling ] You've ruined everything! It was an accident.
I really didn't mean them any harm.
The facts speak for themselves, Dr.
You were called only as a witness in this trial.
But your testimony indicates you are guilty of many crimes.
What manner of courtroom is this anyway? After all, a man is innocent until he's proved guilty.
And I am innocent! - [ Shrieks ] - I don't like sitting here in the dark.
I demand to see with whom I'm speaking.
The judge and the jury.
Very well, Dr.
After all, of what am I really accused? A few, slimy bubble-like creatures were destroyed? Well, after all we are sophisticated men of the world both of us, eh? Of the galaxy? Those trifling things happen and-- [ Screams ] I am Judge Eyko.
I am one of those slimy, bubble-like things that you spoke of.
There is your jury.
They are your peers from outer space, Dr.
Would you care to consult with any of them? No! [ Screaming ] - [ Growling ] - [ Screams ] Take them away! Take them away! Citizens of space, have you reached a verdict? - [ All Growling ] - How find ye? We find the Robinson party not guilty of the crimes charged-- - Oh, thank heavens.
- and recommend that their case be dismissed.
Now you can send me back to my friends.
Smith, however was not a member of the original Robinson group and his case has been considered separately.
- What? What? - We find that he has been responsible for all of the crimes charged against the Robinsons and have found him guilty on all counts.
We recommend that the Tribunal punish Dr.
Smith to the limit of the law.
Smith, the jury has found you guilty.
This tribunal will pass sentence tomorrow.
Until that time, you are dismissed.
[ Chuckles ] "Whereas we the undersigned do hereby swear and agree"-- Oh, John.
I'll sign it, but Smith will never agree to this.
I really think it's unfair.
Can't you think of something else? Well, do you have any better ideas? All right, put your name underneath mine.
Come on.
John, what if the aliens won't accept this petition? Then what? Well, that's a bridge we'll have to cross when we come to it.
- Here they are, Dad.
- Thank you.
- What did you wanna see us about, sir? - Sign this paper.
We hope to influence the aliens to dismiss their charges against Dr.
I appreciate any effort you may make on my behalf, but you're wasting your time.
The wheels of alien justice have turned.
There's no hope.
Well, it won't hurt trying.
Here, Judy, sign this petition.
- Penny.
- Petition? What petition? It's an appeal for clemency in your case.
"We, the undersigned, do hereby swear and agree "that Dr.
" - You're saying that I'm insane? - Well, Dr.
Smith, it seems to be the only way.
Insane? I? How dare you! I won't do it! I absolutely refuse.
- I'd rather go to jail for a hundred years.
- All right, if you'd rather not.
The very idea! I've always had full control of my mental faculties.
It was just a thought, Smith.
We don't even know if it'll work.
Of course, if you'd rather face the alien sentence-- torture or some other fiendish punishment.
Did you say torture? Fiendish punishment? Well, who knows what the aliens are capable of doing? Judy, sign quickly.
Will, get the Robot.
He can put an "X" for his name.
- I thought you'd see the light, Dr.
- Torture indeed.
Well, who cares if the entire universe thinks that I'm insane.
I know that it's not true.
I'm sane, sane, sane.
Do you hear? I'm as sane as I ever was.
I'm even saner than I ever was.
Oh, dear.
[ Sighs ] - [ Groans ] - [ Imitates Groan ] - [ Scoffs ] - [ Scoffs ] Will you stop that? You're making me terribly nervous, you ninny.
I am extremely concerned.
Movement relieves my sensory tensions.
Why haven't we heard from the aliens? It's been hours since we gave them that petition.
It's been exactly three hours, - Silence, you cackling clod! - Oh, really, Dr.
You must try to relax.
Worrying isn't going to help at all.
The fact that we haven't heard might be a hopeful sign.
Personally, I think it's a cut-and-dried situation.
Smith's off his rocker, and if it's obvious to me, it's bound to be to the aliens.
- You're a cruel man, Major.
- Attention! Attention! The Galaxy Tribunal of Justice has reached a decision.
Will Dr.
Zachary Smith come forward.
Zachary Smith at your service, sir.
Smith, after lengthy discussion the Tribunal has reached an agreement on the petition in your behalf.
- Yes, yes.
Go on.
- The laws of Earth and space are vastly different.
But, in one area we agree.
An individual who is mentally incompetent cannot be held responsible for his actions.
- Therefore, the case against you is dismissed.
- [ Cries Out ] I'm saved! I'm saved! - You did it! - [ All Laughing ] Attention! It is further decided that Dr.
Smith must have someone to make decisions for him and keep him out of trouble.
He is therefore placed in the custody of the Robot.
What? You can't do that to me.
I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions.
You wouldn't dare, would you? Never mind, Dr.
I will take good care of you.
You will go to bed early, work hard, speak only when spoken to.
I'll never take orders from you.
Never! Oh! Oh, come back.
Come back.
Listen to me.
I'm perfectly sane.
I knew exactly what I was doing.
Please, come back.
Oh, the pain.
The pain.
The plants on this planet do not follow the Earth method of transpiration utilizing carbon dioxide and releasing oxygen.
This plant, for instance, is similar to the cactus of Earth.
However, it needs absolutely no moisture at all.
And where did you acquire this useless information, you tiresome thesaurus? The instructor is not to be interrupted during lectures.
Instructor, indeed.
How you could have been selected to educate young minds when I am available is beyond me.
He's right, Dr.
You're not supposed to talk while he's teaching.
Very well.
Then I shall occupy my mind with more gainful pursuits.
But, remember, when you grow up in absolute ignorance, don't blame me.
[ Whirring ] [ Whirring stops ] - Where'd Dr.
Smith go? - Search me.
- I'll go find him.
- [ Clicks ] [ Whirring ] - What? - What are you doing, Dr.
Smith? Experimenting, my dear.
This machine appears to be an instant painting device.
- A galactic art form.
- That's weird.
Quite so.
But I can remedy that.
What happens when you get it like you want it? When the picture is complete, you press a button and it prints it for you.
- This must be the one.
- Warning! Warning! Alien transpositive generating machine.
Do not touch it.
It is dangerous.
Do not! Silence, you gregarious gremlin.
This must be the one.
Now, here we go.
[ Thunderclap ] - Warning! - [ Yelling ]