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About jeva39

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  1. So perhaps in my case it's more of an issue of adverse reactions associated with sensitivity to dopamine.. not NE.
  2. one more question, if you wouldn't mind, browri.. if lower doses of Vyvanse have more of an effect of NE, could this conceivably translate into a clinical picture involving agitation, rage, flying off the handle over minor things, seeming on the verge of relapse etc. I ask because I have been having this issue lately at 20 mg of Vyvanse, whereas higher doses (30 and 40 mg) where (presumably) dopamine RI was involved, there seemed to be more of a calming effect, for the most part, not to say there wasn't any anxiety/agitation but it was mild in comparison.
  3. does anyone know if lower doses of stimulants have more of an effect on NE as opposed to DA at higher doses? also if i may ask, what is the difference (put in layman's terms) d-methylphenidate vs d-l methylphenidate and why would one be more beneficial than the other?
  4. thanks mikl, going to run by everything you just wrote with my PA if things ultimately dont work out with the vyvanse
  5. I can't really say for sur whether iv had the same response with other stimulants, my memory taking those other meds (ritalin and conceta) are a little hazy. but i have often been very sensitive to meds generally. im not sure but maybe thats a result of treatment resistant depression? when you say Vyvanse doesn't become fully active until its metabolized by liver, how long does that generally take, if i may ask? I am trying to exercise and sleep regularly in addition to taking the vyvanse. i intend on starting fish oil tommorow in hopes that it might clear up some of these issues eventually. fyi: i dont have an ADD diagnosis so my response to meds may be different from yours, but i'm not sure... thanks for responding :))
  6. I feel as though i can think more clearly than ever, but my vocabulary and concentration is quite limited compared to before. higher doses were even more impairing- felt much more foggy headed. PA remarked that it's likely due to my being so "sensitive". i wonder if 10 mg would be more suitable, but i hesitate to make another dose change because i am otherwise doing very well at the current dose. it seems to me that trade offs that frequently cancel out the benefits of a med are unavoidable..still i wonder if fish oil might assist me in my aims... i also ponder whether my mildly impaired speech is at least partly a psychological/emotional issue stemming from feelings of inadequacy (AvPD diagnosis).. but it's not solely inadequacy that fuels my anxiety around this issue, but also a desire to engage in creative work for personal enrichment.. it's also a simple quality of life issue. in any case, does anyone know if low doses have more of an effect of norepenephrine as opposed to dopamine at higher doses? if so how would such a finding correlate with my experience at current dose and of being sensitive to the effects of Vyvanse and psych meds generally?
  7. I'm not dealing with or feeling this issue as acutely as I was when I first made this thread. Although I'm sure there are still things in the background relating to these issues, there's nothing that needs to be dealt with immediately atm. thanks for the concern, though.
  8. I've heard some people on various forums mention that with Vyvanse "less is more" and "more is less"...that they get more benefit and less drawback with lower doses as opposed to high doses. some people evidently get very irritable and foggy headed at higher doses, but have a calm focus at lower doses, where they can ignore extraneous distractions. is the more common in certain groups of people (e.g. inattentive vs classic adhd) than others? I wonder if a lower dose is what I need instead. unfortunately i have no way of determining whether i'm more in the inattentive vs combined vs SCT categories..
  9. maybe i wasnt clear but when i said "40" i meant 40mg not my age. i'm 31. also the issues with word recall werent there a week ago when the meds were different. there were also issues with thinking before i started taking vyvanse, but mainly in the context of a relapse and recovery from that. my therapist did mention things like Mild cognitive impairment during that time but there was no further mention of that at all once i recovered from the mood episode.. if my age is a factor at all, i would say it's a mild factor, fwiw...
  10. I understand i should talk to my doctor (in my case my PA) but i'm just worried he's not going to know how to address this and so i'd like to be sure i have all bases covered.. it seems like when i was at or around 20-30 mg my word recall was excellent and effortless. now at 40 it's as though i have to work really hard to express myself clearly. however, conversely when i was at 20-30 mg my affect was constricted or blunted (another long standing source of frustration for me) but now that i'm at 40 my affect is relatively normal. also my creative urge is all but absent. why would vvyhanse cause issues with word recall that werent there a week befor? is adderall perhaps a cleaner drug overall? again, id like to give attention to every aspect of this problem. thanks for your time,
  11. getting very tired of feeling as though I have to measure up to some unrealistic ideal. i wish i could strangle and destroy the part of me that cares what others think. it's too mentally exhausting living my life like this.

  12. I hear you, but it's very problematic when the cognitive issues cause issues in therapy and my regular life as well. it's difficult not to become impatient between changes. When i'm not "with it" it seems like it's very diifficult for my therapist to "track" my emotional states in session and even just understand what i try to say. The same goes when i'm out in public - people appear to judge me as though i'm strange, and not in a good way at all, and i hate it the feeling of self loathing that comes with that. I wish I didn't struggle with the things in life that come naturally to others. why is it that sadness and dissatisfaction prevail in my life while others thrive with seemingly a lot less? I wish i were free of the shackles of my condition. Sometimes i wonder if my condition is even biological/mental at all - that perhaps i'm irreparably wounded from events in my childhood and i'll never have the peace of mind i so desire.
  13. Could you explain what you mean by overshot the dose (when it comes to stims)? also if i may ask, why would a too low dose of Vyvanse cause that "foggy feeling", spaciness, a feeling of being disconnected, flat affect? mind you im not being treated for ADD, i'm being treated for depression.. perhaps we're indirectly treating ADD symptoms though
  14. I feel like since iv been at a higher dose of Vyvanse - currently 3rd day at 40 mg - my ability to recall simple words is greatly affected whereas when i was at a lower dose it seemed to be better, although i was also spacy, foggy, slightly "disoriented", not very engaged, somewhat loopy etc . is this just a matter of my body adjusting to the current dose as i work up to the ideal dose? or is it possible that the medication itself is causing slowed thoughts with higher doses?
  15. actually i had in mind any suggested reading around the subjects of alienation, loneliness, isolation. i would prefer non-fiction, but it could also be fiction. anything that might help me better understand and move past the feeling of isolation. like i said earlier, i wish my therapist would offer me guidance along these lines, hence my reason for asking.
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