Five Reasons Why St. Patrick’s Day Is Pointless & Irrelevant for Americans

St. Patrick’s Day. Who cares?!

1. Why celebrate someone the Catholic Church has deemed a saint post-mortem? He doesn’t do much – if anything – for American culture…aside from making Irish-Americans more drunk than usual.

2. Celebrating binge drinking on a set-aside day annually is pointless…Americans already do that every weekend?

3. Pinching strangers and friends is completely unremarkable…just go to any bar and you’ll get the binge drinking AND the pinching on any day of the year. Yay.

4. Wearing mostly/all-green outfits make people look like oversized houseplants.

5. Shamrocks have as much value as weeds. Isn’t the “American Dream” supposed to have green, manicured lawns? Weeds and shamrocks usually mean you’re doing something wrong in your yard care.

Just sayin’. 😉