


Q: Does the silent treatment work on guys?

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No. It's passive-aggressive and stupid. It's like a child holding his breath until he gets what he wants. You're saying to the other person, "I don't want to address our problems, so I'm just going to shut you out until I get my way." If anything, the silent treatment makes things worse. Resentments build up, issues get unresolved. The person you're snubbing feels hurt and confused, and either does everything in their power to get you to start talking to them again or gets angry and, in turn, snubs you back. So then you've got two people who aren't communicating and no one wins.

In a relationship or friendship, the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It's shutting someone out, and refusing to address an issue or a grievance. Often, people who use the silent treatment don't even tell the person they're snubbing what they've done wrong. They just sit and pout until the other person asks them what's wrong. The person being shut out feels hurt, abandoned and like their words are falling on deaf ears. If the other person is trying to communicate and fix the problem and you're snubbing them, they're doing all the work.

Nothing good can come from shunning or ostracizing someone you love just to get what you want. We preach communication here more than anything else. In an argument, the only way to win is to plead your case. If you're forcing them to give in just to get you to talk to them, are you really winning? You haven't proved your point—you're just being a giant baby. That seems like more of a Pyrrhic victory. Using the silent treatment will only lead to more anger and resentment while further driving a wedge between you and your partner.

--Written by Nick Nadel for guyspeak.comHow do you communicate with your guy when you're upset? Have you ever give your guy the cold shoulder?

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