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How to Buy a Stranger a Drink Without Looking Creepy

How to Buy a Stranger a Drink Without Looking Creepy


Look around any bar and you'll see a bunch of blue-lit faces gazing into phone screens, thumbs swiping away. At a time when hitting on strangers IRL seems quaint at best and creepy at worst, meeting a new bae "organically" (not on a dating app) is really rare. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to find love out and about, you just have to be very, very self-aware. A bar is still the easiest place to meet someone in the wild, and it is still possible to buy someone a drink without looking like a creep. Just follow these rules.

Wait till they’re more than halfway through their current beverage
Because not everyone wants to double fist, bide your time and wait until the drink recipient is nearing empty before you offer to buy them another drink. If you rush them through their first drink, it will seem like you’re plying them with alcohol. Not a good look.

Re-up what they’re drinking or, if in doubt, go low ABV
Show that you’re attentive by ordering another round of what they already clearly enjoy. However, if they’re on Drink No. 1 and it’s a double bourbon neat, consider opting for something like a Campari soda or a spritz mixed with Lillet Blanc instead. That way you won't look pushy.

If she isn’t drinking alcohol, don't comment on it; just send something booze-free but still interesting.

Make sure the bartender delivers it
Women are taught from an early age never to leave their cocktails unattended—that’s because spiked drinks are very common. Alleviate any concerns in that arena by asking the bartender to drop the drink off directly to the hot person across the bar. No funny business. You can deliver the drink yourself, but you should make a beeline directly from the bar to the drink recipient with zero stops in between. Remember: You’re a stranger! They have no automatic obligation to trust you and, frankly, they shouldn’t.

Read the scene
Don’t buy a drink for someone already on a date. That should go without saying, but alas. If the recipient is visibly engaged, leave them alone. (And if someone is already drunk, they’re no longer a viable option—for receiving another drink, or for your advances.) If you want to buy a drink for someone who is otherwise occupied, hold off on your introduction. Instead, ask the bartender to point you out upon delivery, and then do a chill acknowledgement like cool men do on TV. A small wave will suffice. Or you can hold up your own bottle in a long-distant toast. From there, the recipient can choose to walk over for a chat or smile graciously and go about their previously planned evening without you.

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