Sorry Kate Winslet, but banning social media isn't the answer

The internet is dark & full of terrors - but banning children from using it isn't the way

Getty Images

Usually when Kate Winslet speaks, we are nodding our heads ferociously in agreement. In particular we applaud her attitude towards ageing and body confidence, and her ‘no photoshopping’ rules. Which is why it makes sense that Winslet has banned social media in her house, because she doesn’t want her daughter (Mia, 15) to validate her worth by the number of likes she gets.

Speaking to Radio 4 this week, Winslet reiterated her views, saying: ‘Self esteem for a teenager is everything, it's huge, particularly, I think, for a teenage girl and if that girl is posting pictures of herself on her Instagram of how she did her hair or the way she did her make-up for an event or outfit she then will have her mood dictated entirely by how many likes or dislikes she got.’


‘And ultimately that’s going to affect her self esteem and how she views herself - those likes and dislikes that are often coming from complete strangers. So just simple compliments and praise, they morph and mutate into something else entirely and that scares me,’ adds the actress.

Nice sentiment. And one that was clapped publicly (and ironically) on social media. 

Instagram, Facebook, trolling, the whole thing is terrifying to a parent, because where do you even begin to police it or see the damage it's causing? And that’s before you throw the amplification that comes from being Kate Winslet’s daughter into the mix (Brooklyn Beckham has 5.1 million followers on Instagram, that’s a lot of pressure for a 16 year old). However, whilst understandable, I find Winslet’s view a bit short sighted. 

The actress goes on to add, ‘They [the children] would only be having [social media] because their friends have got it, and that is not a reason to have anything. It's just a trend and I don't like following trends anyway.'

There are now 7.2 billion people on the planet, and 2.1 billion of them have social media accounts. 47% of all internet users across the globe are on Facebook, with 4.5 billion likes generated daily. If it is a trend, it’s certainly a bloody big one. Today’s teenagers will be among the first to have grown up as pure, digital natives. Facebook or whatever will inevitably replace it is not going anywhere, and the relationship they have with social media will only continue to grow and become more complex as everything from referendums to shopping will mobilise itself through social. 

Yes, there is no doubting that the selfie culture is damaging to self-esteem and is having a very real and worrying effect on teenagers, but social media abstinence isn’t going to teach them the coping mechanisms that young girls and boys so desperately need. I’m sure there were families that locked themselves away with tin foil hats on when television infiltrated homes, but going on an analogue lockdown has never made technology go away. Instead, we should be educating teenagers and listening to them; we should have frank discussions with our daughters about how they are more than the sum of their ‘likes’, understand what drives trolls and teach kids that Instagram is a rose-tinted life to be enjoyed, but not taken seriously. 

Getty Images

Winslet’s view also denies the possibility that social media’s awesome power can be harnessed for good. Banning social media denies girls access to some incredible and inspiring women at the touch of a button (what is life without the intelligent Instagramming of Lena Dunham or the humorous tweets of Anna Kendrick) or the artists, poets, writers, charities and political movements like the WEP that are finding a voice online. 

Campaigns like #EverydaySexism, #HeforShe, #LoveYourLines (celebrating women’s post-baby bodies),  #GirlsWithToys (promoting girls in STEM careers) or #EffYourBeautyStandards (a body positive rally cry) are trying to wrangle the social media wildfire into a positive force for change. Or even the #porteouverte hashtag used by Parisians in the wake of the attacks, offering a safe place for people to go if they couldn't get home. 

Social media also offers networking opportunities like never seen before, and helps people's careers (we all know a friend of a friend who was headhunted on LinkedIn for their dream job).


Tyler Knott Gregson - an instapoet (Pic: Instagram/Tyler Knott Gregson)

And whereas current governments, parents and schools are dealing with the problems it throws up in a reactionary fashion, because they were possibly the kids with the tin foil hats on back in the day, the next generation of policy makers will have grown up fully submerged in an online world, and will be better equipped to handle its dangers and hopefully amplify its positive potential. Its like Daenerys Targaryen and her dragons in Game of Thrones; sure if Daenerys doesn’t control them they’ll eat the villagers - but ultimately, they give her the power to do good. 

Besides which, everyone knows no good ever came from banning something. Those teenagers at university whose parents never let them try wine were always the kids that ended up in A&E having their stomach pumped in freshers' week. Of course, I’m not suggesting that if you ban social media, children will go on a selfie binge on their 18th birthday - but whether alcohol or Instagram, it’s important to teach the next generation how to enjoy these things responsibly.

It's only natural to want to protect your children, but for every dark and murky corner of the Internet, there's a bright opportunity that might help them to carve out a career, or a friendship, or a better understanding of the world. The best thing you can do for them? Foster honesty and openness. Arm them with the wisdom and knowledge to make the right choices, even when life - or social media - throws them a curveball. 


Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
More From Views & Opinions