Luxury Opinions


Luxury Opinions

How do you show people you are special, elite, extraordinary? How do you display your wealth and prestige?


Some might say with expensive watches, cars, sunglasses and being seen at the classiest restaurants in town, but the new way that is truly in vogue is to show your class with luxury opinions.


A typical luxury opinion would be to talk about the hollowness and stupidity of wealth while munching on some caviar and drinking a $400 bottle of wine with your golf club comrades. Another example is to sit talking about the ridiculousness of believing in gender constructs with your arm draped around your very well-gender-constructed blond wife, or complaining about rich, racist white people while living in a gated community and making sure your children go to the whitest, priciest universities that exist.


You highlight your class by shit-talking your class, thus ironically maintaining its privilege. As Boy George sang: karma karma karma karma karma chameleon … 


“I’m so goddamn sick of capitalism!” exclaims the returning college grad with loans paid by their weapons dealer dad who does business in a corporation disguised as an IT company. The dad nods in commiseration: “yeah, it really has its issues, doesn’t it?”


They both make absolutely sure to send off the tuition for that semester though, because I dunno it’s just the way the system is right and you gotta go get the piece of paper to then crank out numbers on Wall Street and “fight the system from the inside” by profiting from it your whole life until you get rolled up in a waxed walnut coffin like a mannequin one day and stuck in the ground.


The dog-tired construction worker sweats and swears under a heavy workday but gives a resigned shrug and angry reply when asked about why the system doesn’t change: always the same bastards end up in charge, I guess, he says.


That realism and adult behavior is nowhere to be found in the millionaire Princeton professor who hired him to re-side his house, however: the professor is busy inside talking about exploitation of the working class with his pink-haired friends (and feeling increasingly pissed off about how long it is taking the crew he hired to finish the job). Ignorant fucking Trump voters, he thinks to himself, making an offhand comment to his colleagues and causing many a guffaw.


Did you know money isn’t even real? It’s a fictitious concept built on fraudulent central banks who maintain their power through exorbitant interest and manipulating the public into apathy. Now give me $400.


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