My Rejected Citizenship Questions - Matt Haze
As part of Social Media Week in New York, the hashtag #RejectedCitizenshipQuestions was floating around the Twitterverse. So, I took part because, well, what else is there to do? Below is MY made up citizenship test. And a big thank you to Nicole Nesbitt to told me to write a question Which turned into 18. Enjoy. THE MATT HAZE REJECTED CITIZENSHIP TEST Do you own a One Direction album? a) No? You may proceed. b) Yes? That is taking part in another British Invasion! No citizenship for you! Fill in the blank: The best chip dip to bring to a Superbowl party is ____________. Europe is a. evil b. all socialists c. only good for their food d. only good for their funny accents. [to my fast growing European fan base: That last one was making fun of an American stereotype. That’s all. You know I love you.] China is a) home to thousands of years of cultural significance b) a large country in Asia c) where we make cheap shit The last time I left the United States was a) Never. Duh. b) Why would I even want to? c) to go to Canada to gamble. Finish: O say can you see… a) by the dawn’s early light. b) by my lawn’s burly height. c) la la la la la la! *NSYNC was made up of Justin, Joey, JC, Lance and a) some white guy. b) BSB 4 LIFE! c) there was a 5th one? Puerto Rico is a ___ of the US. a) territory b) preferred resort destination of choice c) never heard of it Fill in: Taylor Swift is currently dating ______ after dumping ____ who is named in her latest song _______. Our founding fathers a) race each other at Nationals games b) are why I got a cheap car Monday c) all above When you see someone dressed in a costume holding a sign on a sidewalk, you a) wave. b) honk. c) ignore. America’s first black president was a) Barack Obama. b) Bill Clinton. c) All of the above. Soccer is a) lame. b) something that drives me nuts from running my kids to practice every day. c) NOT football. Ross Perot is known for a) running for President in 1992 and 1996. b) having funny ears. c) talking funny. Fill in the blank: Chris Brown is an ______. a) asshole. b) asshole. c) asshole. d) all of the above. America’s fanciest restaurant is _______. a) Applebee’s. b) TGI Friday’s. c) IHOP. d) the mall food court. Which was NOT a show on ABC’s TGIF? a) Perfect Strangers. b) Full House. c) Step by Step. d) Matlock. I would do anything for love, but I won’t do ___. a) that. b) him. c) her. d) something that puts me in jail.