Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Conversations on Skype

The following conversation happened online a couple hours after I had called Tom on Skype...

TOM: I don’t know how you manage to give me the cold shoulder when we are half a world apart but you do.

TOM: Come on, I know you’re there.

TOM: I’m going to keep messaging you until you respond. I already said I was sorry. I still don’t see what the big deal is.

AMBER: The big deal is you didn’t tell me someone was in the room with you as I rambled on about an embarrassing subject and sat in my Happy Bunny pajamas with hair that was not brushed.

TOM: Ha! I knew you were there. I knew you couldn’t stay silent for too long.

AMBER: Oh stop being a baby, I just ignored you for two hours. With good reason.

TOM: A dumb reason.

AMBER: Tom, the first time I “meet” the people you hang out with in Korea, I want to be dressed in regular clothes with brushed hair. You let me ramble on in my Happy Bunny pajamas, not telling me that your friend was in the corner, listening to everything I was saying, able to see me.

TOM: It was fine. He probably wasn’t even paying much attention, he was flipping through a magazine.

AMBER: It was not fine. I was talking about how I thought that waxing in between your butt would hurt, Tom. That’s not exactly what I want to be talking about when I “meet” one of your friends for the first time. You could have said, “Hey, I have a buddy in the room with me, go easy on the anal speak.”

TOM: Did it really matter? So what, he heard you talking about waxing.


TOM: He thought it was funny.

AMBER: I was in my PAJAMAS!

TOM: I’m sure he likes Happy Bunny.

AMBER: Tom, I know that men talk and now he’s going to go back to your co-workers and be like, “I “met” Tom’s wife. She sat in pajamas, had unkempt hair and talked about waxing ass hair.”

TOM: So what?

AMBER: Suppose I had stripped for you? What then?

TOM: Please, you did that once and you didn’t get all the way naked because you lost your balance and smacked into the bookcase.

AMBER: You saw boobage! What if your friend had seen my boobs?

TOM: He’d have been grateful, there are a lot of sexually frustrated men here.


TOM: It wasn’t as bad as you thought. You were the one who had a fit when you heard him cough and demanded to know who he was. It was like you thought he was a chick.

AMBER: He coughs like a girl, it sounded feminine so excuse me for going, “What the f*ck is going on?”

TOM: I would just think that *that* would be what you were embarrassed about when you met him for the first time, not talking about butt hair. Cursing out someone upon meeting them for the first time is not a good impression.

AMBER: After I saw he had a penis, I said hello.

TOM: Then you said that you had to go and made up some excuse that you had to stop Natalie from sticking Qtips down her pants.

AMBER: That, sadly, was not an excuse. She was sticking Qtips down her pants.

TOM: Then after you logged off Skype you sent me a mean message saying that you were appalled that I didn’t tell you that someone was in the room and how could I let you ramble on about waxing butt hair like that?

AMBER: I was pissed. Next time, tell me if you aren’t alone and I’ll talk about normal things like carpet and waffles.

TOM: Carpet and waffles?

AMBER: They were the first things that came to my mind that were normal. Pardon me.

TOM: So you’re done being mad at me?

AMBER: Yes. If you promise to let me know when someone is in the room with you.

TOM: Will you log on Skype?

AMBER: I don’t know. Are you alone?

TOM: Yes.

AMBER: Fine. But you won’t be getting any boobage tonight.

TOM: You’re mean.

(And I know I’ll be asked about this: NO I have not had my butt waxed. I had watched a show where someone had done it which is why I was talking about the subject. I talk about the oddest things. I’m known for that. I’m known as The Girl Who Talks About Subjects That Aren’t Exactly Proper. Hello. Nice to meet you.)


  1. I've gotten it waxed before during a Brazilian. It wasn't that bad.

  2. Amber,
    For future Skype moments...

    Evernay owshay oobagebay orway alktay aboutway axingway ouryay
    uttbay airshay unlessway ouyay areway uresay ehay isway ethay
    onlyway oneway inway ethay oomray!

  3. LMAO. Awww, guys just don't understand. Of course you want to look your best when there are other people around!

  4. THis is so funny! I am sorry you got upset! I would have been doesn't matter if the guy deosn't care you are in pj' care!

    The but wax doesn't hurt actually...they do it in a brazilian and its the least painful! TMI...sorry!

  5. I totally understand where you would be angry with this... I would have been too. Being on the outside looking in, however, this story is hilarious!

  6. I've never used Skype, but it sounds as bad as when someone puts you on speaker phone without telling you. But at least chances are you'll never meet this guy.

    Thanks for the visit!

  7. I've used skype and I sooo understand why you were mad. He didn't seem to get it either. Next time he's just going to tell his friend to be quiet...tred carefully. :)

  8. I think for punishment Tom should have HIS butt hair waxed! Shame on HIM for letting a fellow soldier listen in without telling you! I would be pissed for sure! I'm on your side!

  9. Poor boobage.

    I've never used Skype before. We always used messenger.

  10. All I have to say is a quote from Michelle Tanner.

    "How Rude!"

  11. I'm very easily embarrassed and my husband never understands why.
    -sigh- MEN!

    PS- waxing your armpits hurts more than a Brazilian. Just in case you run out of normal things to talk about - I thought I'd add to the not-so-great-for-company list

  12. Tom should have told you. I mean, waxing butt hair isn't that bad, but without your make up on, is unforgivable.

  13. OMGOSH! I'm crying! You are hysterical! Bwhahaahahah!

  14. it wasnt the butt waxing that made me laugh out loud. it was the comment from Tom about you smacking into the bookcase while stripping. THAT made me laugh out loud. Maybe I have more in common with Natalie than I thought. lol. or maybe you just whack into things a little too often.

  15. I think you should Skype more often and practice that stripping routine so at least you can get to the pants before you fall down. Or keep falling down, then Tom can sell tickets to a comedy instead of a strip show. Either way he has the potential to make a lot of money on the side.

  16. This reminds me of Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason when she's having a sexy conversation with Mr. Darcy and she's on speaker phone and doesn't know it. Awkward....And I would totally have freaked out, too. I mean, what if you had flashed him a little boob...Jeez. I doubt that would have helped if the guy was sexually frustrated. Ha!

  17. Oh my, I had a bit of deja vue. I went to Fjii and my husband was at home...and he didn't mention he'd invited his young cousin over for the weekend. I was feeling frisky...and well, you can figure out the rest :-P

  18. I literally laughed out loud! hahaha

    But just so you know- I would have been SUPER pissed if my hubby didnt tell me someone was in the room. I get pissed when he says certain things on the phone around others. I couldn't imagine if they were secretly watching us video chat. I'd say no boobage for a week lol

  19. Hells, yeah, he should have told you! Yike-a-roonies! That's a real no-no! Bad move, Tom!

    He proves, as most men could, how they can indeed mistreat us from half a world away! Sorry, Amber-- but at least he apologized... Maybe you should have one of your girlfriends sit in the corner of the room while you're on Skype with him some time... Hm...

  20. LMAO! He definitely should have told you. My husband once told a fellow solider that I wore thongs. I guess it was one of those conversations they have while in the field. It made looking at that guy very uncomfortable.

  21. that is totally mortifying, you had a right to be mad. my husband would so totally do that.

  22. That is hilarious!

    But, I'd be mad if it happened to me, too.

  23. It's official - you can go back to Tom and tell him you have a whole group of women who agree that you had a right to be upset!

  24. Maybe you ought to learn to be discreet? For all you know, what you say could be being listened to by hackers.

  25. I hate to point out that you kind of talked about waxing butt hair to the entire internet (ie EVERYONE) but you are shy about ONE GUY in your husband's room in Korea?


  26. I talk about inappropriate subjects regularly too. It makes my husband blush. And for the record, I would have been ticked off too.

  27. Damn that ass hair is hard to reach back there isn't it?


  28. I would've been mad too, but since it happened to someone else, it's pretty darn funny!

  29. When Ryan and I were living 5,000 miles apart, he would make it a point to call me on Skype with other people in the room when I was mad. He knew I would not go off on him... Chicken.

    I want Happy Bunny pj's too!


  30. No boobage! That'll teach 'im!!!

  31. This would be a conversation my husband and I would have had! And I would have felt just like you!

    Let me know when there are other people there so I can change the topic to waffles and carpet!



  33. lmao! Sorry, but I was totally laughing. Even though I would have been really mad too!

  34. I like the fact that you talk about inappropriate things, it's part of what we love about you.

    Stopping by to say hi.

  35. This was really funny. We just recently experienced this when our son called my iPhone via skype and my husband talked to him and did not realize he was talking through the computer and his roommate was listening. It was a little uncomfortable when discovered but ....all is good...we were just being parents! LOL!

  36. Good to know why you were talking about waxing butt hair.


  37. HA!

    Waxing butt hair isn't too bad until you get to the part with the rotary buffer.

    Boy, does it shine afterwords.

    Repels water nicely too.

  38. MEN! They just don't understand. . . but I must admit, I am curious; how does one cough like a girl?! *giggle*

  39. See when I found out that there was another guy in the room I would have laughed and asked him if he waxes his ass hair...just to break up the oddness

  40. I still haven't figured out how to work Skype. I will note to always look my best when using Skype in the future though. ;)

  41. Withholding long-distance Skyped boobage will lead him into the arms of the first stripper he sees.

    Just sayin . . .

  42. I would have been furious, so I believe you to be completely in the right.

    Also, carpet and waffles are two of the most normal things in the world.

    I probably talk about it too much as it is.

    Waffles, not carpet.

  43. I don't really like very much to talk in skype, because i don't like to talk to a computer i feel more comfortable talking on the phone, so that why i am looking for an app to talk free on my phone , i would love a viber review


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