Friday, April 30, 2010

Why people fail At Self Help; Don't Talk About It, Be About it.

I have a dirty little secret to share with you...

95% of the guys reading this page, will NEVER get better with women.

But it doesn't end there 90% of people who buy a self help book NEVER finish the book, let alone implementing any changes the book suggests that would change their lives.

95% of people who join a gym in January, will never come back starting in February. When I used to work at 24 Hr fitness a lifetime ago, we used to laugh about this and call them the New Year's Resolutioners.

97% of people who purchase a course or book on wealth building/Investing NEVER even set aside a portion of money to get started.

What I'm trying to impart to you dear reader, is that changing yourself is difficult, and there is no magic membership, product, book, or idea that is going to do it for you.

Most people just are not going to be able to stick to a program long enough for it to become a habit and to ignore doing that which they are used to.

This used to astound me. I mean I knew patterns extended to the parts of our lives that we were not consciously aware of ( Dating Patterns, Coping Strategies,) but you would think that once someone made the decision that they wanted to turn their life around 180 degrees they would understand what that meant.

Turns out it's actually the opposite, and I used to buy into it. Being somewhat of a self helper no matter how much I try to deny it, when my friends would talk about how his screenplay would be in Matt Damon's hands by 2009, or tell me about how they were going to make millions by getting a shortcut in business through a "friend" they had just met a week ago. I'd listen and try to be supportive and then when the failures would inevitably come, I'd pretend they didn't happen. Because that's what a good friend is supposed to do.

But somewhere along the way, it hit me...

I had friends who were kicking ass at life. And they didn't really feel the need to CONSTANTLY talk about what they were doing and get reassurance and support that they were going to make it.

And not to toot my own horn too much, but I have finished and implemented EVERY self help product or book I've read(Except for the Mind Your Brain Program by Doug Bench but I defy anyone to finish it when you have to write an hour of standards a day and if you miss once you have to start all over). I make notes, I summarize them in my own words and if there are not exercises that come with the product I create my own so that I actually get something out of them. Same thing with business goals, Game goals, and fitness goals. I'm also proud to say that at 25 as a full time smoker I run a faster mile now (5:17) than I did when I ran track and didn't smoke in high school (5:24) plus I didn't get fat by 25 as various fat people told me I would :P

I never once thought about talking to my friends about all of these things though, because it wasn't being done so other people would think I was awesome, or so that I could tell people about how hard I was working or how busy I was.

I do self help, because I believe in consistent evolution as a person. As soon as you stop improving yourself, you become stagnant and bored, and life loses it's challenges and fun IMHO.

So here's a fw tips on how to not become a self help statistic.

1. Don't read more than one self help thing at a time. If you're focusing on Game, focus on Game, if you're looking to make more money focus on that, etc... The more you pile on the harder it is to make real changes.

2. Start small, but start the day you begin reading. It could mean saving $5 in a drawer or saying "hi" to a girl on the subway but if you start when you start reading/watching/listening to the material you'll have a much higher chance of sticking with it.

3. Figure out what the bare minimums are and then do a tiny bit more. If you have to work out 2x a week try to workout 3. If you need to cut back your spending by 15% try for 20%. By setting the bar a little higher, but not unrealistically so, you are actually 5X more likely to achieve your goals.

4. Create short, medium and long term goals for yourself. Most people only set a long term goal and then quit on the road to attaining it. Instead you should set easily achievable goals that you can reach within a month to build some confidence for yourself.

5. Don't say shit. The more you talk about what you're going to do, the more pressure you're putting on yourself to actually deliver. Most of the time people are scared to take action so they discuss they're lofty goals in order to feel like they are actually doing something to make progress. You aren't.

As I said in the subtitle: Don't talk about it, be about it.

JS- The King Of Content and a proud NON Self Help Statistic

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Love/Apathy/Hate and Pick Up Artists...

Get ready for a long rambling Public Service Announcement...

It makes me laugh when I run into guys in the community and they ask me about other teachers or what not. Inevitably, they are shocked when I have nothing to say. I guess they think I sit around all day thinking about how fucked up a ton of dudes who work in the same industry as me are. Like I'm angry, or on a one man mission to somehow change a bunch of other grown ass men.

I don't.

As I explain in real life, I don't hate anyone in the community. I NOTHING them.

In my mind the reason I do this, is because it's worse. There is no feeling worse than when you realize someone you think is an enemy couldn't care less about you. Since Dec a lot of guys have learned they're in 1 sided feuds with me that only exist in their minds. Once I make a decision that you're out of my life, I don't think about you anymore. EVER.

If someone hates at least they are acknowledging the other person exists.

My Current response to questions about anyone else( Who isn't a friend) in the scene will continue to be

" I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that name or company."

The reason I felt the need to clarify this is because I get a lot of emails asking if I hate this person or the other.And I hear a ton of second hand stories that start out with " Well you hate so and so." I don't. If I make fun of someone, it's because I think it's funny... 10 minutes later, I have forgotten about it. I honestly don't think about the community or Game outside of working hours. It's amazing how it all goes away when I shut down my laptop :)

As I've always said, if you approach someone and they are really rude(hateful) then you have something to work with at least. The worst reaction you can possibly get is apathy. Because apathy, means you don't have the capacity to emotionally reach the other person.

And there isn't anyone in the community who has the ability to affect me emotionally.


JS-The King Of Content

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Day Game Training Call


you're invited. The topic is:


Here's some of what you'll discover on the call:


* Revealed: My BRAND NEW process for completely
eliminating any day game "approach anxiety" you
may have!

(I'm going to show you how to do direct approaches
the RIGHT way!)

After listening to this call you'll know exactly when to approach

up dates and ultimately end up with a lot more beautiful women
in your life!)

* And MUCH more!


Phone #: (619) 684-9024

Access code: 577602#

You can listen to it online here:

Listen Online

You're not gonna want to miss this!


JS- The King Of Content

RHONY Power Rankings week 8!!!

Man, I have been busy and dealing with some stuff...

All I will say about that is that self reflection and dating more than 3 girls at a time are tricky mistresses...

But none of that should keep me from my quest to turn the RHONY into a competitive sport. So for that I apologize dear readers, and without any further ado, I want to leap directly in to the Power Rankings.

1. She's back- Bethenny, my second favorite woman of all time(Behind only love of my life Chelsea Handler) is back in her rightful spot, after the engagement party where she handled herself very well despite Jill's high school antics. B also gets extra points for apologizing to Luann like a normal person, and for finally realizing just exactly what Jill Zarin is all about and realizing that she no longer needs to be friends with her. I like that it seems like Bethenny has established real friendships with Alex and Ramona, leaving Luann, Kelly and Jill to make up the axis of Evil much like Matador, Mystery, and Lovedrop did at the Chicago Superconference in 2006.

2. Sonja. I tweeted that from now on I was going to call all Cougars "Sonjas" in an homage to this lovely sexual predator. Sonja leaps up to the 2nd spot in just her second power rankings for pointing out what everybody thinks about Kelly ( She only remembers men and snubs women) and for the hysterically awkward scene where she is about to tell her story about her husband cheating and then decided to ask Kelly and Luann. Let's be honest EVERY woman at that table had their husband cheat on them multiple times. At least Sonja's getting hers back. Plus her on liner about Max and Kelly was classic saying " If I got into the back of a limo with a guy who looked like that, I'd be getting out with a relationship."

3. Luann. It pains me to put the countless this high, but the scenes with her looking for apartments and discussing the differences between the Upper East Side and Lower East Side were too funny, even though for some reason she refers to them as up and downtown... It was also funny watching Luann at the dinner with Kelly and Sonja as she avoids the cheating question since her ex husband The Count has been linked to an African model recently. The pricing of the Apts in Manhattan just reaffirms my theory that unless you're balling out of control, or want to live in a 2k a month shoebox Manhattan is not for you. You can however live in Brooklyn...

4. The RamonaCoaster. No real chaos here from Ramona, except when they show her at work and she warns her staff that she's going to flip out before doing exactly that. Kinda reminds me of the logic behind telling a girl you're trying to get in her pants. Ramona must figure if she tells them she's going to do it first, it can't be that bad... It was a cute scene when she asked her daughter Avery to be her maid of honor at the 17th renewal of her vows with Mario. I'm glad Avery agreed or that would have been embarrassing.

5. Kelly. Kelly is an idiot and reminds me of EVERYTHING I hate about the self help movement and overpositivity. The scene where she cooks pancakes for the kids and burns the plastic tells you everything you need to know about Kelly.

6. Alex. I hate to place the sanest and most reasonable housewife so low, but she really wasn't a major factor in tonight's episode. Though I have hope for the future after the "Coming up On The RHONY" preview at the end of the episode.

7. Jill Zarin. I used to really like Jill. I thought she was funny, and clever and generally pretty together. I even enjoyed her cold as ice treatment of Bethenny for awhile. But now it's gotten to be WAY too much. There is no reason she couldn't have come over to congratulate B before she did. There is no reason for her to pretend that she is always blindsided by seeing Bethenny at events because THEY FILM A FREAKING TV SHOW TOGETHER... There was no excuse for her behavior the last few episodes from refusing Bethenny at Ramona's house to the meltdown at the Gotham magazine party. Jill clearly only cares about herself as was evidenced when she was talking to Bobby not about how she felt awkward, but about how she was going to look like a piece of shit for not going over to B. Newsflash Jill Zarin, you looked like a piece of shit 2 episodes ago.

The next few episodes look EXPLOSIVE, I personally cannot wait for whatever Alex does that lead Jill Zarin to say something like " I hate Alex, I will never forgive her fro this." Plus we still have a reunion show coming.

Sooo Excited!


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Lebron 4th Quarter Choke Out

What a great night of NBA action last night!

Though I have to admit I was a little Basketballed out after Denver/Utah.

I am an amused Lebron watcher. I think he's by far the most consistently amazing performer in sports in terms of his athleticism and doing things we just don't see that often( Like in Game 1 when he grabbed an alley oop at the top of the white square and finished it with a hammer. Didn't count cause of an offensive foul. Most amazing play of the playoffs thus far.) But I also get frustrated with him. His defense used to frustrate me, then his shot selection, then his lack of a post game. But despite all of that nit picking that gives me something to write about, there is no denying that Lebron finally became the player we wanted him to be this year.

I also disagree with Bill Simmons, about Lebron being spotty in the clutch. If you remember 3 years ago Lebron won 2 out of 4 playoff games against the Wizards with game winning lay-ups. I still remember this, because it's the only time I've seen game winning lay-ups in the playoffs. Lebron also averages an amazing 66.1 Pts per 48 minutes of "Clutch time" up or down 3 with 5 mins to go. Again the only thing questionable about Lebron in the clutch is the occasional pull up 3 which is more a product of his most obvious personality trait: Complete confidence. Even in skills that aren't necessarily his best.

All season long I'd talked to friends about the Lebron 3rd quarter choke-out. The first time I remember it standing out was the game against the Pacers a couple of months back. Lebron decided with about 6 minutes to go that the game was over. He added two dunks, two blocks and a three in that span, and the Pacers were done. I watched it again in a late season game against Chicago. It looks like an normal close game until Lebron all of a sudden decides to hit turbo on his controller. It was enough that during Cleveland's late season winning streak, I could feel the choke-out coming. If the game is even late in the 3rd Lebron goes for the jugular with spectacularly athletic crowd killing plays. It's like he's in Spinal Tap and adjusts his volume to 11.

Last night I watched EVERY minute of The Bulls-Cavs Game. I was impressed by Derrick Rose, floored by Joakim Noah( and worried about what Dwight's gonna do against that front line) but still felt like the Cavs were not bringing the right amount of intensity. I even tweeted before the game that Lebron needed to take out the lack of a dominant performance on the Bulls. And for 3 quarters and 3:16 Lebron was not listening.

Then at the 8:44 mark of the 4th Q, it began.

A ridiculous driving lay-up here, an and 1 there, and then three straight back breaking Js as the Bulls struggled to throw every defender they had at him. Seriously watch the tape he hits those jumpers over James Johnson, Noah and Kirk Hinrich. The Bulls tried EVERYTHING but Lebron took the game and made it his. All in all Lebron dropped 15 pts in 8 minutes and then passed off to Jamario Moon for the back breaker. A game that was tied at 73 all ended up 100-112 Cavs.

You could even see it on the faces of the Chicago players, they knew they weren't beating him. Watching Vinnie Del Negro on the bench I was reminded of the famous Paul Westpaul Interview from the 93 finals where when he was asked about how they were going to stop MJ, he replied " We can't stop him, nobody can stop him."That should have been the closed captioning as Del Negro watched Lebron steal a game where the Bulls had played WAY over their heads, if they were going to win a game in this series they knew they'd have to get that one.

Unfortunately Lebron had other plans. And unfortunately for the rest of the NBA, what Lebron wants this year, he seems to get.


Monday, April 19, 2010

Approach Anxiety VS Approach Reluctance

I just wanted to make a clear distinction between approach anxiety which has clear physical and emotional symptoms (Usually butterflies or fearful paralysis) and approach reluctance which occurs when you are too lazy to approach or find a million little reasons not to.

Most guys have approach reluctance, but then through the marketing world of the internet start to believe they have approach anxiety and start trying to fix a problem that they don't actually have.

If you are not scared or SUPER nervous about approaching, you have approach reluctance not approach anxiety. When gurus say they still have approach anxiety they are generally describing approach reluctance.

If you have super bad unfixable approach anxiety, you should go to a Doctor as it's usually a sign of a bigger problem with anxiety in general.

That is all.

JS- The King Of Content

Sunday, April 18, 2010

RHONY Power Rankings week 6

Oh Joy of Joys I get top watch NBA basketball while writing about The RealHousewives.

So a quick explanation of the Power Rankings, it's based on Tim Goodman's TV show rankings in the SF chronicle. That means that each week is treated as a different entity, meaning as much as I love Bethenny if she isn't as involved in a particular episode or is just not that interesting she drops from the top spot, etc...

With that explained, let's go to the Rankings.

1. The Ramonacoaster. It took me 2-3 attempts to get all the way through last week's episdoe cause I was exhausted and kept passing out. Yet every time I woke up and when I watched the episode all the way through, I was amazed at Ramona's verbal assaults on Jill and Kelly. Plus the story about Ramona tricking new Housewife Sonja Morgan out of a dress that was on sale 20 years ago was awesome. As I said last week Ramona's craziness really stirs the drink for the entertaining episodes of the show. This week she finally says what everyone was thinking by telling Kelly she has no brain! Plus it was SUPER awkward to watch her try to seduce Mario with candles and Champagne. Which leads us ultimately to the Brooklyn Fashion Week show... Ramona's eyes look like something a frog on cocaine would have, she waddles with her elbows splayed out and it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I defy anyone to watch that scene and not laugh.

2. Sonja Morgan. Making a VERY strong RHONY debut the latest housewife to join the cast, is Sonja Morgan. She reveals she divorced her last husband when he was 77, she has a daughter and a CRAZY expensive house on the UES where she divides her closet among places she wears the clothes, there's a Miami closet, a Colorado closet, etc... She also has a picture of the enigmatic Max who dated Kelly last season. Sonja explains to Luann how she picked Max up outside of Equinox on his first day in Manhattan. This leads to my second favorite scene of the episode where Sonja is explaining to Kelly and Luann about how Max was her "Thursday" guy and then she decided to date someone more seriously. Kelly NEVER says anything which is amazing she she brags about dating Max at every other chance she gets. Sonja also seems to be the most cougar-esque of the housewives, so I'm predicting some sort of sex scandal in her future. I'm very excited about the Sonja Morgan era.

3. Kelly. Kelly has some pretty awesome scenes this week. I have been laughing my ass off all weekend about her descriptions of PR 101 and PR 102. Which she tried to use to get Jill Zarin off her back about sending Bethenny a nice tweet. Then Kelly gets into it with Ramona where she is clearly outclassed in both craziness and verbal sparring. The scene ends with the classic Kelly statement of " I don't want to talk to you anymore." Said after Ramona has already called her a moron and walked off. I think Kelly might be a really big pothead, cause her reaction time, not so good.

4. Jill Zarin. This week we get a ton of snarky comments from Jill Zarin, and unfortunately as she admitted on "Watch What Happens Live" she was trying to be like Bethenny with the one liners but they just don't seem to work. She trashes EVERYTHING about Brooklyn fashion week and then leaves without making ANY effort to go see anyone involved in the show. Then she hosts some Kodak party and gets into it with Ramona. I would have put her higher but couldn't talk through the constant pitching of her book...

5. Bethenny. I love Bethenny but all she does is find out she's pregnant and we see that she really doesn't have any friends she could call to tell. Just kind of sad, and leaves me still longing for the fiesty, funny, Bethenny.

6. Alex. Alex puts on Brooklyn fashion week and then disappears for the rest of the episode.

7. Luann. Luann is basically still trying to talk about how she does so much charity work and yada yada yada... She gets points for introducing Sonja Martin who I predict will be fabulous but other than that she sucks.

Next week we get a good preview of some more Bethenny/Jill Zarin drama, and I'm excited.


Saturday, April 17, 2010

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!!!

NBA Playoffs!

The Playoffs mean it's time to win or GO HOME!

So to celebrate my favorite 6 weeks of the year, I'm going to be posting round by round predictions of the playoffs so we can see how truly bad at predicting sports I am.

The NBA season was pretty spectacular this year, Lebron played at a level only reached by a handful of players in the history of the NBA over the course of an entire season. No matter how you judge the season (stats or watching the game) there was NO doubt all year about who the MVP or best player alive was. Kevin Durant made the leap in his third year and became the youngest scoring champion ever. The Hawks, Thunder, Bobcats, and Bucks all made huge strides and the playoffs. There were 7 buzzer beaters by the most loathsome individual on Earth alone. In short the $169 I spent on NBA league pass this year was well worth it.

The NBA is truly a Fan-Tastic place where Amazing Happens. I love This Game :)

Now onto the previews.

We'll start in The East cause I can remember the match-ups easier :)

1. Cavs-Bulls. You know it's on when Lebron is warning the other team that their in for " a different kind of monster." in the playoffs. Throw in the Lebron/Joakim Noah beef and the fact that we get to watch the premier slashing/driving point guard in the NBA(Chicago's Spectacular Derrick Rose)and this series will be a very entertaining one. Unfortunately the King will sweep The Bulls. There's no way Lebron let's this team lose a game in the first round and the Cavs are way bigger. Cavs in 4.

2. Magic-Bobcats. I really like the Bobcats chances in this one, so I'm going to throw in an early upset and pick Charlotte in 6. Here's why, Dwight Howard is ineffective offensively, Vince Carter is lazy, fakes injuries and doesn't drive the ball or seem to care ever. Rashard Lewis took a HUGE step backward both statistically and in terms of impact on the game, and Jameer Nelson isn't as good as last year when he made the all-star team. On the other hand, the Bobcats have Larry Brown, Stephen Jackson(I'll explain in a sec), The most underrated player in the league Gerald Wallace, and a scrappy team of overachievers. Stephen Jackson is important because he was a major factor in the last big upset in the NBA (8th seeded Warriors Over 1st seeded Mavs 2007) and he'll most likely be guarding Vince which means Vince will have a rough series I'm thinking something like 13ppg, with 2 assists and 3 boards. Plus Larry Brown is wily enough to steal a victory or two by himself. Bobcats in 6.

3. Hawks-Bucks. This would have been a great series with a healthy Andrew Bogut playing for Milwaukee. But without him, I think the Hawks just have too much offense for Milwaukee to keep up with, though it will be interesting to see how Brandon Jennings plays and how that factors in to people's votes for Rookie of The Year. I really like this Hawks team a lot. A lot of commentators are saying Orlando is flying under the radar but I think the Hawks are the real dangerous team in the East no one is talking about. They're athletic, they push the pace and they have experience in the playoffs against the Cavs, Heat, and Celtics in the the last few years. Plus Jamal Crawford coming off the bench is going to be a MAJOR asset in a playoff series and at crunch time they have 3 LEGIT clutch guys in Bibby, Joe Johnson, and Jamal Crawford. If Josh Smith can elevate his game a little bit to something like 20-10-5 with 3 blocks a game ( Not a huge jump from his real #s of 15.7, 8.7, and 2.1 blks with a suprising 4.2 assists) Watch out. Hawks in 5

4. Celtics-Heat. The Heat are REALLY bad besides the always awesome D Wade. The Celtics are REALLY old, not to mention annoying, overly arrogant, injured, and incompetently coached. I HATE this Celtics team more than I have ever hated a specific Lakers team which is saying something... But I'm not going to drink the Kool-Aid and pick the Heat. I've watched A LOT of Heat games over the past year especially during the 6 months I lived in Miami. That team sucks. When Michael Beasley, Jermaine O'Neal, and Udonis Haslem are your 2nd, 3rd, and 4th best players you're not winning a playoff series. Especially if Rondo can be something of a nuisance to Wade which I could totally see as he's one of the only guys in the league who can stick with the fabulous # 3. Celtics in 6.

Let's venture out West now,

1. Lakers-Thunder. I LOVE the Thunder. They are my favorite team to watch. Love Durant, Love,Love Love Russell Westbrook, Love Thabo Sefolosha. Their fun to watch, score a ton of points and generally remind you of a group of high school kids. Everyone in the L will have A LOT to worry about from this group. But not this year. The Lakers as much as I hate to say this, still have the best team. They're not completely healthy, they're arrogant and they think they can turn it on whenever they want. They also have Kobe, Pau Gasol, Lamar Odom, and Ron Artest (plus in theory Andrew Bynum). And they're the champs till someone knocks them off. I think the Thunder will definitely give them some problems and push them to 6 or 7. I want to say 7, but I am biased toward The Thunder, so we'll say Lakers in 6.

2. Mavs-Spurs. The Spurs can absolutely beat the Mavericks. It wouldn't be an upset, no one who knows anything about Basketball would be surprised. That said, I watched a decent amount of this Mavs team AFTER the Caron Butler trade. They're a real tough match-up when they play Dirk at Center. Look at the line-up: Jason Kidd, Jet Terry (or Roddy Beaubois, this year's 2005 Leandro Barbosa) Caron Butler,Shawn Marion and Dirk. That's a NICE look. The Spurs looked to be almost back in championship form the last few weeks since Manu became a starter, and 2007 Finals MVP Tony Parker is back. I still just don't see it. Duncan is just a little too old at this point and the rest of the squad besides the big 3 just aren't that good. I'm talking to you Richard Jefferson. Mavs in 6.

3. Suns-TrailBlazers. The Trailblazers have such bad luck with injuries. It's really unfair, for a fan base that loves their NBA team. Both historically and especially this season. Brandon Roy is getting surgery and this team without Roy is going to get rolled by The Suns. The Suns really clicked down the stretch, but without Robin Lopez they don't have the height to actually compete in the West. They'll win here fairly easily though. Suns in 4.

4. Nuggets-Jazz. My pick as the best playoff series on the marquee thus far. This will be a shootout. The Nuggets and Carmelo Anthony looked like world beaters for the first 3rd of the game. But then George Karl got cancer( Get better George!) and Kenyon Martin got hurt, and Anthony's level of play dropped a bit during games against under .500 teams. And there in lies the basic problem with The Nuggets. You never know what team is going to show up and when. Beat the Lakers by 20 lose to The Bulls, all season long. So I'm not sure which Denver team will show up. They have the talent to beat anyone, but may not be together mentally enough to do it. The Jazz on the other hand are steady and you know what they are. Not quite big enough to do any real damage, not small and fast enough to run and gun. They can be penned in for 45-55 wins every year Deron Williams suits up , but they won't get past the Nuggets. Denver in 7.

I'm super excited for this first round, and I'll post another breakdown when Conference Semis start.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Simplified Versions of Game Theory

So Entropy wrote a really good post a little bit ago

Read it Here

It got me thinking about my own simplified version of pick-up theory which is admittedly more focused on outer game. And has been something I've joked about many times.

My simplified version of pick up goes like this

After starting a conversation there are only so many things you must discuss:

1. I'm Awesome. A rousing performance of all of the many reasons why EVERY hot girl between the ages of 19 and 36 should have sex with me. Otherwise known as attraction :)

2. You're Awesome. Explaining why the girl is cool is EXTREMELY important and leads to the third step.

3. I want to have sex with you. Escalating the conversation has to happen and verbal escalation revolves around ways and places I'd like to bang said hot chick.

4. Get away from me! At various points when describing our awesomeness or expressing sexual interest the girl may start to appear a little uncomfortable at which point we need to pop the tension by pushing the girl away verbally or physically.

So all of my successful pickups look like this in my mind:


I'm Awesome
You're Awesome
I want to bang you
Get away from me

And the whole thing repeats until sex.

Find flaws in that.

You can't :)

JS- The King Of Content.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

After you open the group, you have to make it about her.

Here's a concept that I have been using and teaching for years.

The basic idea is that after you open a group of people, you need to immediately get the conversational focus onto the girl you're interested in(Formerly the "Target" but that's creepy).

The reason it is so important to bring the conversational focus onto the girl you're interested in is two-fold. First it allows you to smoothly transition from your opener without stalling out or wondering what you have to do after the opener. Secondly it allows you to get talking to the girl you're most interested in, instead of getting your attention siphoned away to girls you're not attracted to, or worse guys in the group.

This doesn't mean you should ignore everyone else, but you NEED to make a concerted effort once you've started a conversation with a group to get the conversation onto any topic having to do with the girl you like.

This is one of the ways Mystery had it right, in that his "neg wars" with the girl he's attracted to, serve to put the conversational focus onto the right girl. Other less socially awkward ways of doing this include cold reads, role-plays, observations, questions followed by teases or stories and more.

The point is that opening really reflects two separate conversations we need to start, one to maintain social comfort with the group and one to spark interest in the specific girl we're attracted to.

That understanding should change the way you approach groups forever and make it much easier to have longer conversations with girls you like in big groups.

JS- The King of Content

Monday, April 12, 2010

Managing Expectations...

It's 5PM on a Thursday, my phone which is always kept on silent, lights up, it's a girl I've been seeing for about two weeks. We had sex the first night we met, and I could sense she's been getting attached, ever since...

Girl: So do you even want to see me again? Because I've been thinking about you and I don't want to waste my time, if you're not thinking about me.

This is not the first passive aggressive text of this manner I've gotten from this girl. In fact even though she's coming out of a fairly bad break-up and says she isn't looking for anything, her actions say otherwise. She's loaning me books, bringing up the fact that she always texts me first, or that I didn't ask her out after we had sex. All the classic signs of a girl trying to slowly and non confrontationally flesh out the feelings I'm having for her.

It's now time for what has become for me the most challenging part of pick-up, managing expectations. Forget all the shit you've heard about leaving women "better than you found them." that's a lollipops and ice cream fantasy other teachers want to sell you on. The truth is when you consistently date 3-4 girls at a time, shit can get messy. REALLY MESSY.

My goal is to try to not hurt anyone's feelings, or give a girl a false sense of hope about me changing and suddenly becoming her boyfriend. No, I simply want to keep the girl from having to cry over me, or hurt her ability to trust men later on in her life. In laymen's terms, I don't want to screw girls over. I try to be as honest as possible without being hurtful. Sometimes I'm successful, sometimes I'm not.

Back to Thursday...

JS: I definitely like you, and want to hang out again, but like I told you in the beginning, I'm DEF not looking for anything serious. Getting too attached or emotional about me is a REALLY bad idea.

G: I know, I'm totally not that girl right now.

JS: Good, I just want to be really honest here, because I'm not a boyfriend for real. So no Sticky feelings, K :)

G: LOL yeah. I just think we get along really well. You're smart. I like smart.

JS: Thanks, I have fun with you too!

And it's over for now, even though I'll get another two passive aggressive texts over the weekend, ironically as I'm on a date with another girl ( I swear girls can psychically tell). I understand that these type of relationships don't last forever and I'm fine with it. I'm just not fine with the idea of telling every girl she's my soul mate or perfect for me, or leading them on in a way where they don't see me and the relationship in a realistic light.

Like I said in text no sticky feelings!

Everyone is going to have their own ideas about handling expectations, these are just my own based on wanting to not emotionally mind fuck too many girls over out there. Plus it's a pain in the ass dealing with broken car windows and drinks to the face :)

JS- The King of Content

Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Real Housewives Of New York Power Rankings: Week 5

Ok since I'm clearly obsessed with all things Housewives, and since I already talk about them for 2 of the 5 minutes I'm on stage every week, I've decided that they needed a power ranking much like UFC fighters and Boxers. We need to know who the pound for pound champions of the Real Housewives franchise are each and every week, so for the next 7 weeks of the RHONY madness, I will be ranking the women each week in terms of what they brought to the episode and the season as a whole.

Quick Recap: Thus far Bethenny and Jill Zarin (Whose full name must always be used) have been in a knock down drag out fight with Jill Zarin leading BIG on the scorecards. Luann, formerly the countess is looking to rebuild her life and become Jill Zarin's new BFF. Kelly is just an idiot, and thought she was posing for the 4oth anniversary issue of Playboy even though that issue was shot in 1992. Ramona is genuinely crazy, and renewing herself after he abusive father died,and Alex lives in Brooklyn.

Let's get into the rankings:

This week's # 1 is no surprise as she's near and dear to my heart, and can be expected to stay near the top of the rankings based on one liners alone.

1. Bethenny. Whether or not she's a media whore, Bethenny claims the top spot easily as this last episode featured her getting rejected by her dying father, and being told she has " No friends, and will probably screw things up with Jason(her now husband then BF)" by Ramona, then getting the door to friendship slammed shut by Jill Zarin. Bethenny actually showed some real emotion for once and didn't just joke and insult her way through everything. For once, you kinda almost felt bad for her. Which is the last thing I want to feel for a woman I Identify with in a big way! I want the spunky fighter Bethenny back next episode.

2. Jill Zarin. How could anyone else be here? Jill can really hold a grudge. Watching her reminded me of the way I am when people cross lines with me. It looks mean on TV, but there are some people that are cancerous personalities and need to be excised from your life as soon as possible. I don't think Bethenny is like that, but I obviously don't know her, or what was really happening. One thing we learned in last week's episode, much like Rick James; Jill Zarin is cold as ice...

3. The RamonaCoaster. I must admit Ramona is growing on me more and more, the crazy eyes, the COMPLETE lack of any sort of social filter, the nonstop pitching of her HSN line. I genuinely enjoy every second she or Mario her husband are on screen, and their blogs are AWESOME! Ramona slams Bethenny with things I wouldn't say to my worst enemy, BUT then realizes that B is actually coming to her looking for comfort and does the MOST shocking thing possible, by actually apologizing and then trying to comfort Bethenny. First time on any of the Real Housewives shows ( And I've now caught up on Jersey so I can officially say I watch them all. Which makes me Bravo's entire straight male viewership) I've seen anyone handle a situation like an adult. Bravo Ramona. Ramona will make it hard for Jill Zarin to hold onto that second spot.

4. Alex Mccord. Alex gets the 4th spot, kind of by default, I think Alex would be a great therapist. Every time I watch her with Bethenny or any of the women she makes a sincere effort to actually listen and empathize. And she seems smart. Not much went on with her this week, except Jill Zarin came by to spend time with her kids, and Alex urged her to reach out to Bethenny, which obviously Jill Zarin did not.

5. Kelly Bensimon. Kelly is REALLY an idiot. I have no idea how she graduated from Cornell or holds down a job writing as clearly she is not all there. In this episode we get to watch her try to chase people down on the street for a "fashion column" at which point she runs into a famous photographer and announces again that she was married to Giles Bensimon who she calls the greatest photographer in the universe. Kelly exists only for us to laugh at in this show, and I feel like the entire world is one big joke at her expense...

6. Luann. Luann drags up the rear for ruining any chance of a reconciliation between Bethenny and Jill Zarin, by interrupting, and then ending the meeting, by lying about a car waiting for them. Luann sucks... The countess thing is old and boring like her face. She's soo insecure about the way she looks, and her relationships with everyone. The most telling thing during the entire Jill Zarin/Bethenny drama was when Luann wondered why Bethenny didn't say hello to her at Ramona's. As I said before Luann sucks and you can expect her to dwell in the basement of the power rankings all season.


Friday, April 09, 2010

Sex Addiction is SUCH a SCAM...

I'm a little punchy today I'm not gonna lie...

In light of me not being able to watch ESPN without being bombarded with columns about how Eldrick Woods is performing some sort of miracle by doing his job, after he fucked his own life up and Jesse James leaving rehab after a whopping 4 days of a 45 day program, it's time for me to give my take on "sex addiction."

"Sexual Addiction" may exist in some EXTREMELY rare cases, but if you're not getting arrested daily for going to hookers or unable to function as a normal member of society because you have to have sex every couple of hours... You're not a sexual addict.

The fact that both Jesse James and Eldrick Woods were able to hold together seemingly separate lives points at a much deeper psychosis. Now you could argue that a sex addiction is easier to hide than a drug addiction or alcoholism, but if you're ADDICTED to something eventually people start to notice. Eldrick lives in such an isolated robotic world no one could tell for awhile( Or like Rachel Uchitel they got paid $10 million not to talk).

Then you can look at one of the first celebrity "sex addiction" cases I can remember David Duchovny a few years back, right around the second season of Califonication. You know the show he starred in after 4 years out of the public eye. He claimed to have become a "sexual addict", but it's pretty funny how his descent into sexual addiction happened right around the time he started doing television again... Almost as if as he became more famous and recognized by a younger generation of women that somehow spurred on his "sexual addiction." It also didn't hurt that he was playing a sex symbol (Hank Moody of Californication) as opposed to an uptight FBI agent. (Fox Mulder of the X-files)

And why don't we ever hear about any "Sexual Addicts" who are really bad with women... It seems like "Sexual Addiction" only affects high net worth individuals, with a lot of access to vagina.

Let's be real, if you call something an addiction, it gets people off your back and justifies making selfish choices. If you repent and blame a disease it takes all the pressure and personal responsibility off of you. After all it's not my fault I fucked my girlfriend's best friend, I'm a "Sexual Addict, I can't be held responsible for it, it's not my fault!" Which is the kind of pass the buck philosophy that ruins countries...

JS- The King Of Content

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Video: Plowing


Here's another one of the video mailbags, I've been doing lately.

I'm not gonna post these on the Blog anymore starting next week, so if you wanna keep getting new videos every week for free, make sure you're signed up for the email list on the side bar dealie that a way ------------->

Here's the Vid:


JS- The King Of Content

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

I did Something stupid with my Neighbor. Again...

I need to stop doing my neighbors, especially when they live literally next door and I have dates the next two nights.

This is dumb, and I should not hang out with her alone as obviously I have lousy self control.

That is all.

JS- The King Of Content

Monday, April 05, 2010

Hustling Vs Working Mindsets

Hey there,

Hope you had an awesome weekend.

This post is about something that my buddy Joe and I were talking about in Breckenridge a few weeks ago.

I was talking about one of my tenets of hustling which is that you should ALWAYS ask for stuff you have no right to ask for. By this obviously I mean things like free sodas at drive thrus, upgrades to first class on flights, free shots from bars etc... I mentioned this because there is absolutely no penalty for asking for any of these things and sometimes you get them for free. It's like gambling except you don't have to pay anything if you lose. I think about this entitlement mindset as the cornerstone of hustling.

Hustling to me is all about trying to get over, and get a better deal than you probably should get. In general people who are ALWAYS hustling and seeing what they can get are SUPER annoying, but if you don't have any hustle to you at all, you end up paying more ( Not just financially) for things than you should.

I know a ton of guys who are STRAIGHT hustlers, they have all sorts of shady deals and connections and sometimes they work out and we get an awesome experience and other times we are left in the cold. I don't trust anyone who has a 100% hustling mindset. At it's heart hustling is a high risk/high reward mindset. You must be willing to risk rejection and potential social embarrassment. And it doesn't always work.

On the other hand, you have guys that are workers. They know what they want, and they are willing to put in the sweat, effort and time to get it. They don't look for shortcuts, or try to get over, because they believe that if you are willing to work for something you will be able to get it. On the whole a worker mindset will take you very far in life. However it may also take you a lot longer to get where you are going, because workers tend to learn everything the hard way and they assume that with enough hard work they can accomplish anything. Even if the solution is to work smarter rather than harder.

Both of these mindsets have flaws.

Hustlers tend to always look for the easy way, and miss opportunities that are in front of them but require hard work. Workers, miss out on the real easy paths in life, because they assume that anything that is easy is not as valuable.

I would say I have tendencies of both, but tend to be more of a worker. I don't really like "hook-ups" or having to owe people for things, both of which are not problems real hustlers have. I also tend to want things to be as fair as possible, so I don't feel guilty for taking advantage of the other person. I do believe in hustling big corporations hard though. If I can get over on American Airlines or The Grocery Store without doing anything illegal, I am DOWN...

I guess the point of this post is to help you identify what situations need a hustling mindset ( Getting in to clubs, pulling, getting free drinks, or upgrades) and what situations need a worker mindset ( Working on sticking points, Phone Game, Dates, Learning Pickup).

Hope That Helps,

JS- The King Of Content

Friday, April 02, 2010

Fundamentals VideoBlog

Hey guys,

Here's a Video mailbag on Fundamentals.

If you're on my email list you get videos like this every week for FREE!!!

So sign up in the side boxy dealie that a way --------------->

Enjoy your weekend!

JS- The King Of Content

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Breaking Bad is Spectacular

I finally got all caught up on Breaking Bad and after the 2nd episode of the 3rd season I would feel remiss, if I didn't recommend it on the blog.

It's on AMC on Sunday Nights at 10, you'll probably start to hear more and more about it as Bryan Cranston( The dad from Malcolm in The Middle) has won back to back emmys very deservedly.

I missed the entire run of The Wire when it was on live and I wish I had seen it as it happened. This show is almost as good as The Wire and it's getting better.

So check out the first season it's only 7 episodes, and it's pretty addictive right away. I can almost guarantee if you enjoy well written, well acted, well thought out stories you'll love Breaking Bad. And if like me you enjoy pretentious things like camera angles, music choices, and highlighting it's even better...

JS- The King Of Content