Am I a Transgender Woman ?: 5 Questions to Ask

Wondering if you are transgender, but you aren't sure if that's really true for you? Let’s say that you were assigned male at birth but you’re not sure if that fits for you. In order to begin exploring your gender identity you can ask yourself these questions. 

1.    Do you feel good when someone uses female pronouns? Let’s say that you go to dinner with a female friend and a waitress says “Hello Ladies, what will you have today?” Do you smile and feel good about that? When someone sees you as yourself and it seems to fit then it might be a sign that your brain and your body don’t match.

2.    Do you “wish away” parts of your body or feel that something is missing when you look in the mirror?  Even if you don’t hate your body, would you prefer to have the body you see when you close your eyes. Even when someone decides to transition they might decide not to alter their body but many do take hormones or have surgery to feel more comfortable in their bodies.

3.    Do you feel uncomfortable with clothing that others would expect you to wear? Not every woman likes dresses and heels but do you wish that you weren’t limited to a typically male wardrobe? Many trans women dress in typically female clothing in private, long before they go out into the world dressed as themselves. That being said, some like to dress in female clothing but don’t have any questions about their gender identity.

4.    Do you have the feeling that no one really knows who you are? Many who are transgender have practiced hiding who they are for years. I call this “the wall”. Unfortunately, when you are so practiced at hiding your true self, it can be hard to connect with others and leave you feeling isolated and misunderstood.

5.    Do you have fantasies of being a different person, with a completely different life? Do you dream about it? Have you wondered about, or even planned your get away? People can want an escape even if they are not transgender, however, if that fantasy includes a new life in a different gender and that is a recurring theme then you may be struggling with your gender identity. 

Answering yes, or no, to any or all of these questions does not determine whether you are transgender. Being trans is a diverse experience. Finding the answers to your questions about your gender identity is a journey. Often it is a long, and sometimes difficult journey. Be sure to get support on your journey through accepting friends and family and an affirming doctor. Call me at 316-302-4453 or email me at to schedule a free consultation with me to get professional support from a therapist with experience with gender identity.