Concurring Emotions Are Exhausting

I am packing for a trip to Scotland as we leave in just a few days. I am SO excited, my suitcase is almost ready to go, laundry being done, checklist almost complete. And YET I am on day 5 of a really bad headache (the type where my head feels like it is being filled with a heavy gaseous substance that is pushing against my skull like a balloon expanding but there is no room to stretch so it might explode at any moment).  It’s been at least 3 nights that I have not been able to fall asleep till the wee hours of the morning and only wake up feeling more tired and miserable than the night before (and yet still counting the days till we leave).

I wish I could say this was unusual for me, to have such contrasting emotions simultaneously, but it is not.  I can be both terrified, excited and grateful at the same time, or perhaps I just move from one to the other at the speed of light and therefore just going back and forth in nanoseconds?  I’m really not sure. I just know it can be overwhelming and exhausting.

Luckily, this isn’t always the case. I do have moments when I can feel a wave of emotion come over me that is all-encompassing and that is usually when I am quiet,  well rested, well fed. It is an overall feeling of wellbeing, a sense of contentment.  I love these moments and I now actively seek more of them.  I usually have these moments when I am laughing with my family, or rug hooking, or horseback riding. And yet these are the hardest things for me to do when I have a terrible headache and no energy.

Do you have this issue? Any tips on how to narrow the gap between contrasting emotions?


Artist unknown