very strange/cool new feelings yesterday

Submitted by tornfromabook on
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So yesterday my wife and I were taking advantage of one of those rare, narrow windows when our baby is asleep and neither of us is completely exhausted. We have been focusing on going very, very slow lately, really for the sake of me learning to relax out tensions that remain. So after laying together naked for a while, we ended up both sitting up, cross-legged, rubbing each others backs, etc. She reached for the coconut oil (the only lube we use these days) but I said "not yet". So I lay down and she took the top position and we continued doing the touching/stroking thing. After a while I said "ok oil me up", which I didn't mean as "let's start intercourse" but rather "you can start touching my penis now, that would be nice". Well, I should have been more specific because she just slipped me right in and I was not prepared. It was stimulation overload and I said "STOP STOP STOP", she stopped; somehow I managed to avoid orgasm. But what happened instead was very strange. Any time I have been that close in the past, I have gone over. But maybe because I've worked so much on relaxing lately and haven't orgasmed in a good while and was DETERMINED not to, I managed to stop it.

Anyways, what happened was that as I put 100% of my attention on relaxing my lower regions to stop the orgasm, I felt this flush of tingly energy erupt, starting at the bottom of my ribcage and expanding up and into my arms, all the way to my fingers. It's as though the orgasm just shot up into my upper body. The tingling in my hands was very cool, and I proceeded to spend the rest of our session stroking her body with my electric fingertips. The tingly, relaxed sensation in my upper body persisted for the rest of the day and I felt really good, mind body and spirit. My heart was buzzing and I felt very connected to her.

We have been on the karezza road for about 4 years now (on and off but ever onward) and I have never experienced anything like this. Am I closing in on the elusive internal climax/ valley orgasm /whatever? Anyone else experience this? Any tips on how to repeat it? I just can't imagine that I could do that trick again.... I mean get that close and not orgasm.

Its not a trick

You do not need to get close to orgasm in order to activate that kind of energy flow. You just need to start working with it consciously.

I have been doing energy practices for a couple of years. In the beginning it was quite frusturating. I felt almost nothing. However, I kept working with conscious control of the energy.

Now, when I am cuddling my wife, I can use my mind to gather energy and send it into her. I feel it collecting. I feel it moving into her, and I feel her respond to it.

Try this ... take a big breath in and focus your attention on your chest where your lungs are. Imagine that a ball of energy is gathering there. Then breath out and imagine the energy moving down your arms to your finger tips. You should be able to feel a weaker version of the same sensation that you felt the other day (tingling). Unaroused sexual energy is not as powerful but you can still feel it.

With energy the key is to practice and to set conscious intentions for how you want energy to move. The more that you use it in a particular way, the more naturally it will just go that way on its own (without conscious control).

The ideal is for your sexual energy to flow powerfully in all of your actions. When you speak your wife feels the energy in your words. When you kiss her she feels it in your lips. When you touch her she feels it in your hands. It moves powerfully on all levels. When you reach that level, you are really and truly making love to her with your every interaction. Then sex becomes just the deepest penetration of a constant experience of love making.

I have not accomplished this yet, but it is my goal.

A friend who teaches sacred sex said this:

To answer the question if anyone has experienced this before: Yes! Every time I unite with my beloved, I have this exact experience, & then some...
This experience is what's called the purification & activation of the vital body (aka Vajra Body), which I'm sure you're familiar with. 
Esoteric science teaches that we all have a vital body that is composed of a network of etheric channels called nadis.
The initial purpose of practicing 'transorgasmic' sex in tantra is to purify & activate this aspect of ourselves. Pranayama & Mantra are complimentary practices that are employed to aid in this process as well.
When the nadis are cleansed of impurities & energetic blockages, one feels this kind of 'rush of tingly energy' that expands all over, giving us that electrified experience. Eventually with sustained practice of karezza, one will have this experience every time, coupled with profound ecstasy & bliss, and this would be the tip for repeating such an experience. 
I'm at the level now where every time I sit for meditation, within 5-7 mins in, I'm immersed in the pure bliss that I experience in union with my beloved. I am certain that this is from sustaining the practice of transmutation, ( I could go into the technical details with tantric terminology related to the channels, winds & drops, but I'll spare you for now :) )
What I'd like to explore more of is how oxitocin, dopamine & other hormonal secretions are the new terms for what ancient tantric mystics were concerned with. 
Mastering the generation of these secretions, & calling them shakti, kundalini, ananda, mystic fire, the holy spirit, contentment, compassion, wisdom, etc., I'm certain is directly related to the science of endocrinology. 
You're ahead on the curve of all this so I'm sure you'd agree.
Getting that close & not orgasming is what I feel borders 'mastery'. 
There are direct instructions in the '6 Yogas of Naropa' that advises uniting with a consort & allowing the tigle/bodhichitta (semen) to go as far a the tip of the penis-head & then drawing it back inward & upward in the central channel in order to experience the bliss of our true nature.
In Vajrayana it is taught that we are, within our depths, nothing but Pure Clarity, Luminosity, & Bliss. These are not mere qualities, but actually what we are.
Clarity, Luminosity & Bliss is the nature of mind. So it's natural that through the practice of karezza one would have such experiences. Our sexual energy is the essence of who we are.
With that said, all I can say is that he had the experience of his real nature, at the level of the vajra body. If he keeps it up, he can & will have it again.


I am fascinated with this concept of energy. I am without a partner for now, so I'm simply interested in how one becomes aware of these energies and how to awaken and be present for them. Then I'd like to start doing some energy practices. I find myself interested in Tai Chi; should I look for a class in my area? Books people would recommend?

Just for the record,

it seems that one purpose of this site is to help people build a solid foundation (a more loving, stable relationship) for such explorations. I don't want to discourage single seekers, but apparently things can sometimes get "ugly" when you start moving energy without a stable foundation.

If you're not too freaked out by the language, have a look at this article based on the Cayce readings. Although some of the language puts me off...the suggestion that greater knowledge in this area would could through understanding the endocrine system better fascinates me.

All this aside, there are definitely Daoist and tantra manuals that suggest solo exercises. And many of their practices are collected here:

Solo practices

As long as a person is working with cool (unaroused) energy it is pretty safe. There is great benefit in doing practices like yoga and tai chi that gently open the energetic channels in the body so that energy can flow more easily.

People get into trouble when they start trying to stoke the fire too much. This is especially true for men. I have heard stories about men becoming obsessed with cultivating sexual energy and driving themselves mad in the process. The energy gets too hot and too out of control.

This is not to scare anyone. It is just a reminder that too much of a good thing is not a good thing. The key to enlightenment is balance, not pumping yourself full of energy until you burst.

The reason that karezza is so great is that it both cultivates AND balances sexual energy. The act of sex stokes the fire, but the bonding connection between the two ensures that they both remain balanced. They both have more yang, and more yin when they are done, and the two are well balanced.

Of course, they then start to naturally become unbalanced again. Thus the need for frequent connection to rebalance again.

Ken Cohen

As Loiue said, qigong. I started with Ken Cohen, and its been great. Theres also a guy called Dr Yang Jwing Ming whose extensive work ive started reading, and he is also considered a good source. Both are good communicators and teachers.

yes I have experienced a version of that

See this link

It happened when I was practically flacid hanging out inside her in scissors.

Also, I have been finding that I have energy that I can often get moving up in my body and it is completely different but extremely pleasurable and easier to "cause" to happen -- though only by focusing on my root and not on the pleasure itself. It's a matter of really focusing and also completely relaxing...