Sunday, 23 February 2014

Blogging vs Real Life

So, before I made the (seemingly) monumental decision to once and for all turn off the 'Anonymous Ask' feature on my Tumblr, I used to get a fair amount of anonymous sass. 

(I don't wanna use the term 'anon hate' here, cause I know from experience that that can be some nasty stuff.) 

At least once a week I'd get some jibe like 'You think you're so deep and artsy but you're just pretentious and arrogant' or something equally as dull, and the disconcerting thing was, they nearly always appeared to be from anonymous people who skirt around me in real life.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've kinda grown out of being at Uni, and in doing so, have apparently shed a hefty amount of 'friends' in the meantime. In my eyes, I've re-discovered the person I've truly always been and finally grown into that, and discovered all these wonderful new ventures and opportunities along the way. 

I guess to some, it seems like I've changed completely and utterly into someone else.

Seeing as they never knew me before the person they met at Uni, it's kind hard to explain that I've actually just changed back.

But apparently, that prompted me to get a load of stuff like this and followed by charmers like this.

Paired with someone saying to me recently,'God, if only your 'readers' knew what you were really like' which actually kinda pissed me off, it really made me think. 

There's no truer form of me than what I put into this blog. 

Hell, the people who read this probably know me better than any acquaintance I have outside of the internet.

And it kinda offends me when people accuse me of 'making it up' or 'creating a fake character', just because I'm also a silly shit who falls over a lot, swears like a sailor and finds farts really really funny. 

Just because in real life I probably watch too much netflix in bed and sing really loudly as soon as I'm home alone, forget to wash the dishes every now and again and mostly live in PJ's, complain every two seconds if I'm either a) hungry or b) cold, and will not even give a *semblance* of a shit if there's a ladder in my tights - it doesn't mean that anything outside of that is not real.

Because as well as those things, it doesn't mean that I don’t think a lot and get depressed sometimes and cry really hard at artsy foreign films, or watch a little too closely to see how quickly the smile fades off a persons face after I say something, or sometimes get so fucked up in my own head thinking about the universe and life that sometimes I genuinely convince myself that I'm actually dead. 

People are not meant to have a single dimension. 

Humans are complex multi-faceted creatures, and when people try and call me out as a fraud when I show another side of my personality... well it darn-tootin' pisses me off, that's what it does.

That's the reason I started blogging in the first place - to find a place to express all the things that are sometimes too scary, too preposterous, too bombastic and not socially acceptable to shout about in reality. 

In my eyes, the most sincere part of my character and my soul is encapsulated in this little website of typed sentences.

This is all me... but that doesn't mean that this is all I am. 

Everyone has those moments when the laughter and silliness stops, when the cold harsh light of morning begins to seep through the crack in the curtains, and the strange thoughts and unexpected epiphanies come. 

Mine lay here. 

But I'm a human too, and there are things about me and my life that I choose not to write about on here, as there are things that I write about on here that I don't tell people in real life. 

But none of that makes me a liar, or a fraud.

And my god is that my Achilles heel, and it seriously gets to me when people say stuff like that, jokingly or not. It's insulting to literally the very fibre of my being.

But then again, there's always the argument of why should I need to defend myself as a person against anyone? 

Every human is also a person, so for another human to be constantly picking at my person, probably says a lot more about how much person there is inside their human, than it does about me.

 And you know what I think? 

Just because you do not lay your entire being bare to every single person you meet, it does not mean you tailor yourself to manipulate what people think of you.

It means you respect yourself.

And something which I'm going to try and force myself to understand is, at the end of the day, you don't owe a damned explanation to anybody.


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  1. You don't deserve those reactions! I think these people are jealous. Thumb up, your great also you blog :)

  2. I get you. When some college and then uni people found my blog, they accused me of pretending to have a perfect life on my blog, but being 'dead behind the eyes' in real life.

    It hurt, but then I remembered the Coco Chanel quote:
    "I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all.", which was so helpful. Most are just jealous that you're doing something amazing they they never thought of.

    It's so funny how they anonymously slag you off and are contributing to your rising blog page views at the same time!

    Keep doing you, Katie - you're fab!


  3. Little London Girl24 February 2014 at 02:30

    The comments that you have been receiving are disgusting and nothing more than hate mail from people who are jealous of the wonderful way that you write. I came across your blog yesterday and now aim to be as good as you (and I'm a whole 7 years older) so don't be so hard on yourself, enjoy your success and be a cheerful blogger who ignores the haters. You have many readers who clearly "get you" and think you are great :-) Happy Monday little one xx

  4. I agree with Jennifer it sounds like jealousy to me :O and like you said you don't have to explain yourself to everyone! I am a very private person but online I do enjoy sharing some things in my life through my blog and enjoy it but in person I don't really give much away. Basically everybody has different ways to approach things online or in person and this does not make you a "fake" person or to seem like you act different. I would just ignore these comments and keep doing what your doing as its your way of expressing how you feel and that's personally what a blog is all about at the end of the day :) expressing yourself and your creative side xx

  5. I will continue to call you out on stuff, because uluvit. And before you get excited, I only read half this blog post as soon as I realised it contained nothing of your adventure in Amsterdam (which, on behalf of everyone here, I can tell you we are waiting impatiently for). Speaking of which, did you get the Nachtcollege aftermovie I sent you? X

  6. It's so difficult writing a blog post on your feelings that are so personal so I really respect you for that! Well done. If you expose your personality online you get horrible comments. I wish it wasn't the case but some people aren't nice.

    Really well done for being yourself, I know that can seem very hard sometimes.

    I love your tumblr personally so keep it up for all the people that do read and love it


    Here's my blog post on my amazing day at LFW if you get a sec to check it out

  7. "This is all me... but that doesn't mean that this is all I am."
    Yes, yes, YES.

  8. Well, I have always considered my online profiles alter egos of sorts. I post very regularly on my professionally and personally aligned profiles, and often that makes people assume I'm 'living my life online' but both are very carefully considered reflections of separate parts of me. Despite considering myself a blogger of sorts, I have no blog about my life or self directly - I blog for events and causes that fit my various interests - and I have certain things I have decided over the last year or so to 'protect' by keeping offline; my relationships, health issues, etc.

    Your post has raised a question that I've asked myself before, mainly when someone I considered a good friend told me 'go f**k myself" because they were fed up of hearing how well my career was going - in reality things were falling apart and I was struggling to hold it together and figure out what step to take next, but as I considered the outlet my friend was referring to as a 'professional one' I was writing about how exciting it was to search for new opportunities - rather than admitting I was up shit's creek without a paddle and clueless as to my next move. I assumed people who know me well would understand that anything I write online should be taken with a slight pinch of salt, and questioned myself then "Do I not give a way enough of myself online to gain people's respect and trust'. In the end, I decided it was their blinkered view that was the problem, not my self-marketing.

    I think keep being the way you are.

  9. It makes me sad that there are people out there who could be that spiteful and malicious! Blogging is an escape from the real world for us, we don't really share much of what's going on in our lives because we prefer to keep it all about fashion and beauty. We aren't as materialistic as we may seem, our blog is just a snippet of our personalities/lives and I think most other bloggers get that! We never judge a book by its cover. I really enjoy reading lifestyle blogs and I encourage you to keep going, you come across like a really honest and kind person! I know you're only in your early twenties but I read this article the other day and it made me laugh out loud. #5 is important, don't feel bad for trimming your friend fat and #16 comes with age.

    Tara xo

  10. I totally agree with you. There is no truer form of me than what I post on my blog either. If they don't like who you are then a) they must be crazy to not want a friend like you who appears to be such a lovely girl from what I've read in your posts, and b) it's their loss. Not yours.


  11. GO ON GIRL!!! (I'm feeling extremely empowered right now, I might have to take a moment to calm down before I write a sensible comment that doesn't sound like a Beyonce song... Okay. I'm good.)

    I absolutely love this post and your blog as a whole, I think you're fantastic. There's such a bizarre divide between your 'personal' life and your 'blogger' life that I think all bloggers have and no matter how you try to diminish that gap, it's always going to be there. Because online, you can be a different version of yourself to who you are in 'real' life, whether that is being more honest or maybe just being a different person all together. I think the fact of the matter is it's your choice. Who you want to be is your choice. That's true in life as well but it's much more difficult to implement in practice.

    It might be that other people don't recognise who you are online just because they don't see this side of you and it's not surprising that you don't feel comfortable being this open with them if that's the sort of reaction you're going to get. Anyone who would accuse someone of not being their 'real' self is ridiculous because what right has anyone got to assume they know a person better than that person does?

    I'm going to leave it there considering I'm not even sure what I'm saying anymore but you're awesome and I think you're gonna go far so let the haterz hate etc. xx

    Lots of love!

    Jade | skinsweet

  12. I'll never understand why people say stuff like that! They are just jealous of you! Amazing post, and keep doing what you're doing because it's fab!


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