Sunday, December 7, 2014

Organized Kink

This past week my husband and I took on the enormous effort of organizing our bedroom. Why is this an enormous effort you may ask? Well, we aren't the neatest of people and our townhouse is two stories, no one ever comes upstairs so it becomes very easy to let the junk pile up when no guests will ever see it.

I guess if we started having guests in the bedroom we would get a little better at folding and putting away our clothes. But our kinkdom doesn't involve having other people present- so the bedroom stays a mess.

Until this past week!

Reasons for having a neat and organized bedroom:

1. Not killing yourself when you get out of bed in the morning and need to get to the alarm clock across the room.

2. Not falling backwards over laundry baskets and smacking your head into the corner of the dresser.

3. Being able to find a matching pair of socks in record time, thus arriving to work as scheduled.

4. Being able to have sexual relations in the bedroom without 'maneuvering the clothes piles around so we can walk'.

Yes, all of these reasons are very good reasons for being a real adult and keeping your room clean- but I'm pretty sure our reasons were all resting on #4.

Also, since no one ever sees our bedroom, and we don't have kids, we have no motivation to put toys back in their proper place when done using them, so trying to be spontaneously kinky is hard when you're not sure where the damn vibrator went and the bottle of lube may have rolled under the bed.

This past week was operation clean out the dressers, get the clothes away, and give the sex toys places to live!

It was mostly a success, until while carrying bins full of clothes into the basement our stairs decided to detach from the wall and almost crash to the floor below.

Mr. McKay declared, "This is what we get for trying to be responsible adults!"

It was frightening and if alone I would have been trapped down in the basement until someone came to find me. Luckily, no one got hurt and we have successfully kept the bedroom clean and organized for a full three days now!!

All of the toys are cleaned and safely stashed away, the spanking implements are still out in the open, but they are all in the same general area and are not buried under dirty laundry.

When I am rich and famous one day (or just rich) I am going to hire someone awesome to build me a kinky organizer. You know those awesome kitchens that have the pull out spice racks and cool hidden drawers for everything? I want that, but for butt plugs and nipple clamps.

Hey, a girl can dream.

Until then I have resolved to keep the bedroom floor clear of clutter and our kinky things at least semi-organized. 


  1. OMG, that's so scary about the stairs!!!! But good for you for getting organized. I could use a little feng shui dust off around here, too!

    1. It was frightening and I am just happy we didn't get hurt! They are all fixed now too, so it's all good :)

  2. I always forget to put the nipple clamps away. A kink spice rack with hidden compartments is what I need, too! Maybe this is a thing we don't know about. Like the secret lives of professional organizers. The untold story.

    1. I wonder if they make such a thing? My husband was like- let's invent it, we'll make millions! I may be going out on a limb here, but to do that we might need carpentry skills...

  3. LOL, your house sounds like mine. Except we do have to hide our implements :)

    Glad you are both okay.

    BTW, your hubby must have vibed mine.

    He wrote a list with graphics in sharpie, explaining our homestasis for messiness and clutter in our house, and then proceeded to explain how we needed to move our current line up to the "above acceptable" line.

    We are currently cleaning also :(

    1. I don't think my husband really cares how organized or unorganized the house is, it was the tripping over things in the process of trying to have sexy time that was pissing him off. I am pretty sure that if I just keep the bedroom floor clean he will never complain about anything again.

  4. Mine isn't too bad. There is just a lot of clutter. I need to do a good clean-out, too. I'm glad the stairs didn't kill you.

    1. The clutter drives me nuts! I am also glad the stairs didn't kill us :)

  5. Casey I'm so sorry about your stairs! I'm glad that you are okay! I can so relate to this. My bedroom right now is a mess and since no one except me comes up here, I haven't bothered cleaning it. I think it's time. If you can do it, I can do it! ;-)

  6. Due to kids, we have to tidy everything up and make sure nothing is left out. It rather puts a dampener on aftercare.
    Kinky organiser... like the sound of that. Perhaps there is a new career beckoning. I need to ask hubby to be a joiner and we could make fancy furniture with useful storage.