Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Pretty Lady Throws a Tantrum

Pretty Lady is shocked. It seems that the Art Funding Powers that Be find Pretty Lady to be an insufficiently compelling BS artist.

This strikes Pretty Lady as nothing short of incredible. Here she has been, day after day, month after month, year after year, proving that her BS skills are so finely honed as to be almost Second Nature. She produces ream after ream of muddy, pretentious, overwritten, arch prose which can be read on literal grounds, ironic grounds, and metaphysical grounds, wherein each reading contradicts the others. Chaos, confusion, exasperation and controversy follow in her wake, as well as a certain amount of Irrational Adulation.

What more does an Art Funding Organization require? They definitely do not require that the actual art be compelling in any way, since they have declined to look at it. No, Art Funding Organizations make no bones about the fact that such impenetrable BS artistry is what impresses them, and Pretty Lady has given it to them. And still they have turned her down.

Moreover, the Art Funding Powers that Be have had the unmitigated gall to send Pretty Lady a request for donations, in the same week in which they declined to view her application. She would have sent them their own rejection letter in their donations envelope, except that her printer is out of ink, and she cannot afford another cartridge. Since she is not, in fact, funded.

(This action would indubitably come across as childish and spiteful, and so perhaps Pretty Lady's lack of printer cartridges comes as a minor blessing.)

It is at times like this that Pretty Lady turns her thoughts to the Wider Viewpoint, since the smaller one is irritatingly grim. She sees a certain karmic harmony in the Art Funding Organization asking her for money, after she asked them for money; indeed, she has received exactly what she put out into the world. She sees a certain absurdist risibility in the fact that a Visual Art Funding application provides no opportunity for an artist to display any visuals. And she finds her fundamental view of the world profoundly reinforced; that our value is bestowed by God, from Within, and has nothing to do with External Valuation by crass, pretentious, ego-driven Arts Funding Professionals. Or it had better not have.



Anonymous said...


Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days. - Ecclesiastes 11:1

For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind - Hosea 8:7a

Just a different take on karma.

prettylady said...

You see, my dear Duckman, this supports my assertion that Essence remains the same, while Form is ever-changing. So many people get caught in petty bickering over specifics, when the differences that so perturb them are entirely illusory.

However, Pretty Lady has done a pretty substantial amount of thankless Supporting of the Arts herself; she's still waiting for the payback.

Anonymous said...

Form? Essence? What is this? Aristotelian metaphysics? Am I gonna have to find my college philosophy texts just to comment here? Maybe even read from them? Good grief!

(I've never cared much for metaphysics. I prefer epistemology.)

human ra:(e said...

Family values (Montagues and Capulets)

American values v1.0 (capitalist pig values)

Self values (put some wealth in your temple)

Intellectual wealth (other egos required)
Material wealth (what's it worth to them?)
Spiritual wealth (transparent cloths in he'ven)

Human values v0.8 (www)

The Wealth of Value is Knowing The Truth. There is a pattern in dem der hills and if it could feel, it would like what I see.

prettylady said...

No, Duckman, Platonic metaphysics. This is basic. Keep up.

danonymous said...

I told you to add a "D" at the end of fun....but you wouldn't listen.

painterdog said...

You have have a sense of humor when dealing with stuff like this.

You know that the reason you received the request for a donation is you are now in the data base.

I know a few people who are addicted to this funding thing and keep on trying, some people use it on there resumes. One chap even goes so far to put he was a nominee for Joan Mitchell Foundation Grant
which I know for a fact is a load of bs. Getting nominated means nothing, thousands of artist every year are nominated for this and only a few win it.

But you see in this poor persons mind just the mere fact that he was nominated is worth putting it on his resume so the next time it might seem like he is more worthy of there attention.

It's all a shell game.

prettylady said...

Oh, painterdog, you are so correct. Pretty Lady noted recently that various persons in her community art organization found it worthy of posting to the newsletter that they had been invited to join the Saatchi Gallery Online. Pretty Lady herself received two of these invitations, but since the Saatchi Gallery Online is open to anyone in the world, she did not consider this particularly newsworthy.

She dropped out of the community art organization, as well.

prettylady said...

Oh, and painterdog, the reason that Pretty Lady received the donation request was that she actually attended a Meredith Monk performance last year, demonstrating her Interest in the Arts. This then tagged her as a Patron. Her physical mailing address would not have been in the database, otherwise, since they run grant applications entirely by email.

Most artists, of course, do not pay to go see Meredith Monk, so thus escape the insult of being considered Cultured.

Anonymous said...

Is being invited to join Saatchi Gallery Online like performing at Carnegie Hall? I understand that is now open to anyone who is willing to pay for the privilege.

Practice, practice, practice. Not so much anymore.