Cuil confesses 'serious file corruption'

The Worldwide Quantum Porn Pun Off

Cuil - still pronounced "Cool" - has apologized for its quantum porn, blaming the incident on "a serious corruption of [its] files."

After serving up random mid-masturbation graphics (NSFW) in response to searches for a Grenoble-based quantum computing researcher, the strawberry-and-muffin-fueled search engine now sees the error of its ways. In a personal email to said researcher, Cuil general counsel Pete Szymanski insists the company's groundbreaking Schrödinger's schlong experiment has been retired.

"We very much regret this incident and offer you our sincerest apologies," Szymanski tells loyal Reg reader Jonathan Grattage. "It was indeed a serious corruption in our files that resulted in the inappropriate image being displayed. We understand this may have caused you embarrassment and inconvenience. We have taken down the inappropriate materials and have identified and fixed the issue that caused the problem."

Indeed, searching on Jonathan Grattage no longer reveals arbitrary gay porn. And similarly lewd and irrelevant images have disappeared from searches such as "work permit" and "download movies."

For some, this is sad news. But Cuil has left its mark. At the very least, the would-be Google killer has brought joy to the lives of physicists everywhere. As this thread reveals, the quantum porn pun is now all the rage. Here is the, um, best of the lot:

Quantum Porn is sweet, it's every position at once... until observed.

It's very easy to get entangled in Quantum Porn.

Stop it, everyone! You're giving me a hadron!

Me too. Want to collide them?

Sure, but let's be sure we're in our excited states beforehand.

I like to get lepton...

Just make sure you don't make a meson my carpet.

Cuil isn't much of a search engine. But it's great entertainment. ®


This "classic" quantum sex joke just in:

Q: Why didn't Heisenberg have a good sex life?

A: Because when he had the time he didn't have the energy, and when he had the energy he didn't have the time.

When it comes to quantum sex jokes, an expert tells us, this is as good as it gets.

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