Golden Rules for Writing a Self-Help Book

We live in a world of extroverts. Society rewards people who are direct without fear of speaking, even when they’re stating the obvious or literally gibberish. Nowadays, the ability to express an idea is valued more than the idea itself.

It is difficult to make yourself heard. People quickly lose interest in you and you could go unnoticed in most situations, as if your presence did not even matter.

Fortunately, science has been studying for years about what makes a person charismatic. Although there is an innate part, these skills can also be observed, practiced and learned. Here are some practical keys that you can start practicing today to get an invincible charisma.

1. Answer quickly and with aplomb

In one study, some participants observed how students in a class answered a series of questions about general culture. Subsequently, they were asked how charismatic they thought each student was.

Common sense would make us think that those who answered the most correct questions were judged to be more charismatic and intelligent, right?

Well, no. The charisma had no relationship with the intelligence of the students, but with the speed with which they had answered each question, regardless of whether they did it right or wrong. In other words: it is more charismatic to respond quickly and vehemently than to do it with the correct answer.

Unfair? Maybe, but this is how social perceptions are formed. When someone expresses his opinion firmly, we tend to assume that he knows what he is talking about.


If you want to be more charismatic, do not hesitate. Answer quickly and with aplomb when they ask you a question or ask for an opinion. You can always correct it later.

2. Gesture (a lot) with your hands

Charismatic people do not hold still when they speak. They support their messages with the gestures of their hands.

In one study, the audience rated the speakers who gesticulated with their hands while talking as more competent and effective, versus those who kept them still.

Not only that, but it has also been proven that reinforcing your words with your hands causes others to remember your messages better.

The key is to use gestures that correspond to the meaning of the words, not random movements, and avoid those with negative connotations. According to body language expert Allan Pease, there is a correct way to gesticulate:

Our interlocutor gets up to 40% more involved with our message if we move the palm upwards or towards him, when compared to the palm downwards.

The palm up transmits pleasure and complicity; down, power and control. Do you want an example? Look at the infamous Nazi salute.


Accompany your messages with multiple gestures with your hands.

3. Use emotional words

In a series of experiments, Dr. Kensinger and Dr. Corkin discovered that there are certain words more memorable than others. Thanks to them you can create more charismatic messages.

It is about emotional words, those that instead of leaving us cold, evoke feelings and sensations. The most charismatic people add passion to their messages, and usually do so by means of names and adjectives that convey emotions.

Below you will find the 5 most and least emotional words. Notice that it does not matter if they are positive or negative; the important thing is that they refer to some intense emotion.


Get used to using more emotional words in your dialogues. For example, instead of "it's a very good movie" you could say "it's a movie orgasm".

4. Be interested in others

If you want someone to care about you, you should try to impress him, right?

This is what almost everyone does when they want to get someone's attention. And yet, it usually causes the opposite effect.

It turns out that in a study conducted in 1994 it was found that the memories we have at a certain time affect our emotional state at that time.

In other words, others do not feel good when you tell them about their successes; they feel good when they tell you theirs. And if they feel that way in your presence, they would want to spend more time with you.


If you want to be interesting, you should be interested in others. You need to allow them to talk about things that create positive emotions, such as their hobbies, passions or successes. This is one of the principles of the charisma.


Whether you like it or not, charisma is fundamental in today's society. Your ability to connect with people and make them feel good by your side will allow you to enjoy better social, professional and sentimental relationships. Ultimately, it translates into greater health and personal satisfaction.


Author Bio: 

Amirah Almousa is a passionate writer who loves to write on prevailing issues related to self-development. She wants to make people aware of the importance of self-betterment in life. Recently, her first book "Mama Is Gonna Take You To The Circus, Unlock The Joy Of Your Life’s Trip” is released in print format in the USA, UK, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, and the Middle East; and the e-book has distributed from more than 70 online partners, serving readers across the globe. In this must-read book, author Ameera Almousa takes the reader, regardless of their age, on a journey through life manifested in various circus activities.
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