By Mirabelle Summers, author of the GET A GREAT GUY GUIDE.



Conversation Tips – How To Talk To Men

Everybody has sticking points, whether it’s work, relationships or life in general. But that’s fine and dandy because the learning process is what makes us better women.




Now then – one of the most common stumbling blocks to more romance in a woman’s life is a simple lack of conversational know-now. The good news is that this can be LEARNED and immediately applied in your everyday life!

Especially while you’re face-to-face with a potential lover!

Oftentimes the problem is that some well-meaning girls overlook the importance of having the right communication style. It’s not that they WANT to be boring; they’re merely unaware of how to hold a conversation.

No sensible gal is going to get up in the morning and tell herself, “I wonder how I’m gonna BORE the socks off of that cute stranger I’m going run into at the coffee shop today?

If you want to become a better conversationalist, it’s important to consider if you’ve grown accustomed to certain patterns of speech that are actually counterproductive. Sometimes, you need to step back and ask if you’ve fallen into certain habits which you’ve numbed yourself to over time.


Of course, I don’t want you to start beating yourself up if you feel that the way you talk to men isn’t as attractive as you might want it to be. Like I said earlier, there’s always room for improvement, and it’s definitely a good thing to know EXACTLY which areas can be improved.

With that said, I want you to go over the following tips you can use to enhance your communication style:

# 1: Rapport is Key


It’s mainly because they only have a VAGUE idea of what rapport is, so naturally, you can’t create something you can’t really put a pin on!


You know how you hook up your iPod or mobile phone to your computer, and they suddenly have this mutual understanding? It’s kind of like that, but on a DEEPER level.


Since they’re all visually and mentally appealing, you might have a hard time figuring out which guy suits you. Chances are the one who naturally understands you will be the man you’d want to date.

Why is that? Well, doesn’t it feel just GREAT when a person instinctively senses where you’re coming from?

I’m sure you’ve met at least one person in your life who you inexplicably feel drawn to. That’s because that person seems to perfectly understand and echo back your own opinions or feelings.

That sense of being connected is what rapport is all about. Fortunately, it’s actually not hard at all to do this in your daily conversations.

The first thing to keep in mind is that you need to be on the ‘same page’ as the person you’re talking to. There are easy ways to do this.

For example, keep an ear out for specific concepts or values that are personally close to the person you’re in a conversation with. If he brings up that it’s important to him to have some quiet time every day, store that away for future reference.

Later on, you can echo back that same concept by telling him about how YOU like to spend your alone time:



So, rapport really has to do a lot with speaking the same ‘language’. Now, of course, I don’t mean you have to start mimicking everything he’s saying like a little parrot, but rather do it in an EMOTIONAL sense.


When you think about it, we often adapt our modes of speech depending on the context we’re in.

For example, you wouldn’t talk to your friends, family, colleagues, or elders in the same EXACT way, would you?

So don’t think that you’re being a phony by making an effort to speak in the same way that he does. You’re simply getting into the practice of communicating in a way that’s APPROPRIATE to the situation.


# 2: Switch Off Your Brain


All I’m advising you do is keep your sexy brain from going into overdrive!


They get so caught up in their own world of thoughts that they’ll come off as aloof or distracted when in reality they’re just petrified from FEAR of not knowing what to say next.


The attraction-killing thoughts I’m talking about are those coming from the inner critic trying to sabotage your conversation. Sometimes, we make the mistake of mentally scolding ourselves after saying something that felt out of place or unfunny.

Other times, we’re lost in a maze of thoughts on what to say next or get bogged down in a swamp of self-consciousness.

When you feel your brain going in this direction, acknowledge what’s going on and DROP these mental distractions.


It’s a girl’s best defense against looking aloof or detached from the conversation (or from this plane of reality for that matter!). So remember to shut off this part of your brain, and you’ll do just fine.

On another note, however, sometimes it’s the guy you’re talking to that’s feeling self-conscious. If that’s the case, then don’t act or talk in any way that might give away you’re AWARE of it.

Just play it cool and don’t dwell on the vibe he’s giving off. It’ll only make things more awkward if you let his state affect your own.

# 3: Humor is Your Best Friend

Maybe you’re still feeling each other out and you’re trying to get a handle on how to connect to this hunk of a guy. But the awkward flow of your conversation is creating a major interference in your connection so you’re having a hard time ‘broadcasting’ your signal.

Fear not, friend! The quickest way to clear up all that ‘static’ is by creating a private joke which you can share with him. When you both have some knee-slapping ground to start on, this accelerates the rapport-building process.







Of course, there’s a big difference between laughing at a joke and MAKING one. However, appearing to be effortless at humor isn’t as hard as you might think.


Generally, a good punch line is the result of properly setting up the joke beforehand. If you need to explain the punchline after delivering it, it means you didn’t build enough suspense first.

(Think about how some characters on TV bumble a perfectly good joke by explaining too much and adding a “get it, get it?” at the end.)

A good way to build up a joke is by keeping a relatively straight face and suppressing any snickers before dropping the punch line on him. Otherwise there won’t be any escalation.


Notice how comedians like Conan O’Brien or Tina Fey churn out the funnies. They like to talk about a mundane news item (the set-up) and then making a zany comment about it (the payoff).

As an aside, avoid making any pop culture references that might alienate or confuse the person you’re talking to. It’s good to be mindful of the particular person in front of you so he can better relate to your “material“.

However, don’t worry about making leaps and bounds in this particular area of conversation. Try adopting these habits of humor little by little into your speech.

Once you hit your stride and finally struck a guy’s funny bone, you’ll notice how much easier it is to keep him laughing with a follow-up joke!

One last way to be funny without overdoing it is by doing the “pretend seriousness” routine. A little-lighthearted irony goes a long way with certain folks!

Let’s pretend that your friend introduced you to this incredibly cute guy who happens to be just into music as you are. So halfway through the conversation, he confesses to not having heard about a certain band you absolutely adore.

Take advantage of this opportunity by *playfully* retorting, “Tell me you’re kidding. Otherwise, I’m gonna have to drag you to my place and make you listen to my (name of the band) records until you see the light. Seriously!”

Admittedly, this approach might not work on everyone, but if he seems like the guy who’s game enough to go along with the fun, then give it a shot!

#4: Converse With an OPEN Ear

Some women might think that listening is just a simple matter of hearing what the other person is telling them. Truth is, this basic skill we’ve been taught to use over the years is often taken for granted.


This might sound like common sense, but I have this to share: you’d have a better chance of saying something worthwhile if you truly listened to what the other person just said.


And what red-blooded man wouldn’t want to be around a sassy girl that he can associate his GOOD FEELINGS with?

The gift of showing real interest is the direct path to greater rapport in ANY sort of conversation you’re in. Although our general interest here is to attract men through a good chat, we also have to consider the big picture here.

An attractive woman is someone who can have a great conversation with just about anybody. When you have a POSITIVE attitude towards the rest of humankind, it’s an indication of how you’d be on a date.

…or as a girlfriend.

If you’re there to talk with ANYONE purely for the pleasure of their company… and NOT because you want their approval… then that sincerity will naturally show.


So what I’m saying here is that you shouldn’t just limit your awesome conversational skills to men alone. Find an opportunity to flex your social muscles and chat up a storm with the next person you run into!




If you want additional advice on how to find a great guy and the skills to develop a great relationship, check out the video below:
No games. No scripted lines. Just real life dating advice for real women!
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