Willingness to Heal


Willingness to Heal


We will heal, grow and change to the degree that we are willing.

We often come to healing journeys, to workshops, to retreats with an expectation of huge things happening, of radical experiences of the nature of ‘Lucy in the sky with diamonds’.

And they often do.



For the changes we often are looking for have impact on our lives and relationships, and we have to ask how willing are we for these changes, and how ready are we for them?

For they can come with upheaval.

When we shift inside, that comes into our lives. And it moves things.

So how ready are we for the changes we say we want?


For the change we’d like to make to be sustainable there needs to be a base, a foundation. Without that we have the experiences we seek, and they shift us, sometimes deeply, powerfully. Without a context, an integration, a place to put these shifts, there’s no sustenance.


This idea has come up a lot this week.

Most of my work is in healing sessions and private lessons, and so much of my learning comes from this space.


I sat with a man in the middle of healing journey. He spoke about his nervousness at the beginning of the journey based on what he’d read about some Tantric experiences. Then he said he’d experienced changes within himself over time, and during a break in the healing work, which often happens as a time of integration, he had one of the biggest realisations about his role in the state of the sexual and emotional space of his marriage. It was nowhere near what he expected. And it crept up on him.

And the most powerful thing is that we can work with what he’s seen, that’s where his relationship can change, where he can change.


I told him that we heal, grow and change to the degree that we are willing.

I shared this story. Chantal and I have a dream of creating a healing sanctuary at the coast, a place of learning, healing and teaching. If everything fell into place for this in the next three months, would be ready for it, would we be ready for the impact it would have on our families, our lives.

It can all happen quickly, yes!

With a foundation we can create something sustainable.

When the foundation is strong the house will stand through the storms.


When you undertake a healing journey, and working with sexuality is deep stuff, I’d share this;

Go slowly in the beginning, build a foundation.

Be kind to yourself on the path.

Be compassionate with yourself.

Know that so often what you start with is nowhere near where you’re actually going.

When you do this you’re able to understand the journey, the patterns, the things that have brought you to this place, and the possibilities there are. Understand them inside, beyond your mind, rather at a deeper level that’s a knowing.

This way, the healing, the learning and growth expands. It’s not incredible change in a short time that soon goes backward.


Yes you can have huge experiences, put them in a place of meaning, of knowing, own them, own yourself.

Do the work.

Know that you heal yourself.

Understand your journey, understand your experiences, understand your insights.

Make them part of you.

Allow your consciousness to open, to expand.

Then go to the depths, to the heights.

With love.