2011 All-Star Game

American League vs. National League
Jered Weaver vs. Roy Halladay
7:00 PM CT
Chase Field, Phoenix, AZ

I won't be able to watch this year's game, as I'll be bouncing between airports, but here are a couple observations. One suggestion, though: after the player introductions, turn the game off and let the game run an hour or so before turning it back on again. It's possible that at least one of the Yankees' representatives may have been substituted out by then, and you will also avoid at least some of the Jeterbation.

I noticed that the National League hired H.R. Giger to perform a little subliminal work on their All-Star logo this year, obviously trying for the intimidation factor:


Let's look at the All-Star Break stats for three different players. First, the default Twins representative, Michael Cuddyer, chosen from this year's sad sacks. Cuddy is the 48th different Twins representative in an All-Star game:



Next, everyone's favorite All-Star in the entire world, ever, Cap'n Derek Freakin' Jeter (we've already seen a graphic of
his performance compared to the other All-Star starters):



And lastly, let's take a look at W.A.S.T.E. himself:



Now, I ask you, if you had to choose between #1, #2, and #3, who would you pick as the lamest All-Star of the bunch?

Good choice, Coomdog. Good choice.

301 thoughts on “2011 All-Star Game”

  1. This game is a mere 25 miles away, and yet I'll be stuck here with my WGOM brothers drinking Red Chair instead of sitting in the 100-degree h -

    Huh. Yeah, this was the way to go.

    1. Also, this is awesome, Rhu_Ru. I know I said as much when I checked the formatting yesterday, but I have to say it again now that it's up.

  2. what time does the game actually start? (after all the pregame hoopla and the 10 hour National Anthem)

      1. To be fair, Span and Baker are hurt. and the Twins play in Minnesota, which I've only heard rumors of being not-Canada from the national media.

  3. It hasn't started yet, has it? Skim saw something she liked as I was flipping over to FOX, so it's Ruff Ruffman for the next eight minutes here.

  4. except perhaps Chris Berman, I can't imagine anyone I would want less than Joe Buck to give my eulogy

  5. Perhaps it's just my 8 year old self watching the 87 World Series video a hundred times, but McCarver's voice (if not his words) is still music to my ears

    1. And perhaps its just my cynical 29-year-old self, but McCarver sounds a bit drunk tonight.

        1. Good point. Maybe if everyone but the players were drunk, this thing would really have some fireworks.

    1. I had a similar reaction. Then I thought that having Joe West's crew with guys like Wendelstedt and Runge added would make the All-Star game potentially more exciting.

  6. Seems like Halladay throws about one pitch a month that isn't exactly where he wants it. And that one pitch still pisses him off.

    1. Tomorrow morning's headline

      ----------NL WINS A CLOSE ONE-----------------
      Brian Wilson Gives Kelly Wells Good Vibrations

  7. Spooky, I know you enjoy Brian Wilson, but I have to disagree with you and think he should shut the hell up and go away.

    1. Dude, you are off your nut. That guy is totally awesome. Baseball players with no brains and public speaking skills and charisma are a dime a dozen. Seriously, what is unlikable about him?

      1. His brand of humor just rubs me the wrong way and I feel like its become a shtick at this point.

        1. I think it's probably just who he is.

          I tend to be cynical and smart-alecky in person nearly every second of my life, and occasionally people will ask me to turn it off, but this is the real me, turned off. When I'm in "on" mode, it's just some Minnesota Nice to carry on a conversation with people I don't like. I get the feeling Wilson is similar.

          1. I liked Corey Koskie much better when he was off. By the end of his career he was in "on" mode and he was boring as hell.

          2. I don't know, some of it feels kind of forced to me. Granted, I don't know the guy and can only guess (but isn't that what being a sports fan is all about?). Of course, maybe my biggest problem is that, because he was on the WS winning team, he gets over-exposed since I didn't get annoyed by him prior to last year.

              1. I stand by my judging. (I'll never meet him so I'll never have to admit to being wrong.)

  8. This is an awesome game. Know why?

    Because I'm drinking cheapbeer!!!1111one111!!!


    1. If it looks kind of like a dubble, its probably that English strong ale. Did the letter look vaguely like an 'O'?

      1. That's actually a British yeast strain, they tend a bit fruity. Also, that beer is about a year and a half old.

      2. ok, mebbe not belgian yeast, but reminiscent. Definitely has an alcoholic kick. A pretty garnet color, with a thick, off-white head. I can taste a kind of "old ale" vibe. Some bitterness. Ok, quite a bit of bitterness, but no "pucker".

  9. I think I want to see the movie Crazy Stupid Love, and I am assuming there will be 10 commercials for it tonight

  10. Oh sure, use your Mastercard and be virtuous. F that. So Mastercard gets to claim a big-ass charitable donation on my dime?

  11. Ugh. Joe Buck just doesn't care about baseball, does he? That's the most boring call on a great catch ever.

  12. Did the Angels request just one inning for Weaver? That was light even compared to most ASG starts.

    Buck: "I still think McCann is one of the most underrated players in the game."

    Me: "Every baseball fan knows how good he is, Buck. The fact that you don't is irrelevant."

  13. "It is ... stunning... that Berkman is leading the National League in Home Runs."

    Are you suggesting something, Sleepy Joe?

  14. Oh, god. Are you getting this Vernon ad, Spooky? F-ing ridiculous. "Please don't end our existence despite our insane corruption."

  15. I love how it's a "hot-button topic" that Jeter didn't show up for the ASG. A guy who is pretty bad at baseball these days is not present for a game showcasing the best baseball players. Tragic!

    If only the media had called him out as the diva he's been since the beginning, they never would have cared that he was acting like one now that his skills are completely diminished.

    1. Jeter was voted in by the fans, I think he has an obligation to at least show up and tip his cap to the crowd

      1. And yet he's opted to hole up in one of his mansions with Minka Kelly for a few days. Selfish.

      2. I get that, but if he sucks and he knows it, maybe it feels hollow to him.

        At any rate, if it was a flyover guy who got voted in and couldn't make it, it wouldn't be a "hot-button topic," it would just be a bummer.

      3. But he's so tired. Do you know how hard it is to have a month off and then try to get a few hits?

    1. I might Netflix it way down the road. Comic book movies have a lot to prove again, with the long string of terrible ones there have been.

        1. Not like I can with comic book movies.

          ...and no, not in general, either. It's easy enough to hack on movies on the whole, but if you're only looking at easily-digestible big-budget fare, you won't notice the hundreds of good movies made every year.

            1. And for the record, I'll agree as it relates to studio pictures. No risks, very little care to make a truly good movie. It's money-driven. I understand, but...ugh.

          1. I'm not sure I'd even consider watching anything he's in after seeing his Human Torch. If I made a list of the ten most irritating performances I've seen in my life, I think he makes it.

            1. Well, the Fantastic Four movies were awful, hopeless nonsense. I suppose he should have risen above it or somesuch, but I have a hard time faulting one particular actor for those abominations.

              Also, now I want to see that list.

  16. Heh, McCarver sounded annoyed that Buck interrupted his Jeterbating to give the play-by-play. (then again, Buck sounded annoyed by it, too).

    1. 4ltr radio guys have yet to mention Jeter's name, and are doing a nice job otherwise as well.

          1. Sciambi and Orestes Destrade did the Asian quadrant of the last World Baseball Classic, and they were simply excellent. Then the final was Buck and McCarver, despite the fact that it was Korea-Japan. They had no idea how to say any names, or who anyone was. It really drove home how awful they are and how apathetic they are toward their work.

  17. Sorry, anyone who enjoyed Booker T draws my ire. Granderson is no longer a decent seeming dude, in my book.

      1. I won't compromise on my Booker T hatred though, he annoyed the crap out of me. And that finishing move compounded things.

    1. These commercials make me want to smash my TV into a million pieces on the floor.

      But alas, it's less than a month old. That would be a bad idea.

  18. Haven't I seen "Friends with benefits" already, when it was called "When Harry Met Sally"???

      1. A screenwriter friend of mine who had to see both No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits for his wife's sake (she's super hot, so I'll forgive him) said they were almost exactly the same script.

    1. Seems like a lot of the best AL starters were unavailable by rule for pitching Sunday. Felix, Haren, Sabathia, Shields... Lester's hurt...

  19. I am sooo tired of national broadcasters jeterbating about guys' tattoos. Who gives a Bert about some idiot's ink?

  20. Wow, Prince is a lot more casual on the mike than he was last year when he won the HRD.

    Also, interesting factoid from Buck (I know, right?) that our host Diamondbacks are the only team without a home run hit in the All-Star Game. Do they have anyone who could change that?

  21. Just checking in to say, though I'm sure someone said it above:
    How did Scotty Ullger become the AL-All Stars 3B coach?

    1. Naw. There's much, much worse out there. But if this involves any of the people from that Marky Mark vehicle from a couple of years ago....

      1. I saw that abortion in the theater, and I don't think I could have told you he was the guy. I do remember that Michael Clarke Duncan, Tim Roth and Paul Giamatti were all wasting their talents in it, though. Helena Bonham Carter, too? She's in most of her husband's movies, and I think she was in that.

  22. Who the f___k goes to a baseball game to sit in a goddam pool where you can't see the game? Did they just hire some hookers for that thing?

  23. It's just not an all-star game without Jeebus.

    and if Walden is releasing with both feet off the ground, he's doing it wrong, idiot.

  24. Wow, that's 10 years old now? At least that one had Mark Wahlberg in it. I've never seen a movie specifically because he's in it, but his role in I <3 Huckabees will probably make me love him forever.

        1. "truly great" seems generous, but I could be persuaded, I suppose. It's a great buddy film.

          1. I think it qualifies. That movie just keeps surprising the viewer, and takes twists and turns that are unlikely and yet believable.

            It's in my top 100, I think, and I've seen...well, let's not admit that.

    1. let's just hope there is a lefty available in the NL bullpen to face him. Preferably one who won't throw sliders a foot off the plate.

  25. pistachios, salt & vinegar Kettle chips, leftover pork ribs, orange soda (now that the cheapbeer is gone)

    1. Flank steak marinated in soy, garlic, and ginger, then grilled. A slaw of napa cabbage, dressed with a red jalapeno and ginger vinaigrette. Arnold Palmers.

      And now that I'm back from an 11-mile bike ride, a 750ml bottle of San Pellegrino gassata.

  26. I've never seen Tim Lincecum and Timothy B. Schmidt at the same time in the same place. Just sayin'.

  27. That little piece of Heath Bell reminded me of Cuddyer. I'm sure he'll make too much money, but I'd like to see him in a Twins uniform.

      1. Oh, I wouldn't have traded Ramos for Bell either. But I would give up a late first round draft pick to sign him as a free agent after the Twins win the World Series.

  28. oooh, Mauer with Pauer in. No more running for the NL, right? cuz he's just like Mauer, but with, you know.

  29. "In baseball, miracles can happen when a team works together." I appreciate that they're tying it in with Stand Up 2 Cancer, but miracles in baseball generally happen because of one single guy, not a team. Am I nitpicking too much tonight? Sorry.

  30. I really hate having the tv guy replacing the real PA announcer. It's a national stage; the local PA guy should get his moment in the sun.

    1. Not sure I get what's being said here. If it's about the over-abundance of corner outfield All-Stars in general, then I agree (that's almost as annoying as the usual over-abundance of first basemen) but Joyce specifically doesn't have a line this year that's particularly different than, oh, Michael Cuddyer, for instance, who I've been told was a totally deserving selection.

      1. I'd say that Cuddy is only deserving selection when considering that there needed to be one Twin who is not currently on the disabled list. Another option would have been Mauer getting the Jeter treatment (big star, down year), but that's the kind of thing the fan vote is for.

        1. Yeah, I'd agree with that. And I probably wouldn't have chosen Joyce first from the Rays (assuming the stipulation that they deserve a position player chosen along with Shields and Price, given their standing, and acknowledging my inherent suspicion towards corner outfielders, I'd have gone with Zobrist first) but I couldn't contain my amusement when I noticed how similar they've been this season (other than Cuddyer's cold months being Joyce's hot ones and vice-versa).

    1. If Castro finishes this year above .300, he'll only be the third SS ever to do that at age 20 and 21. The other two? Arky Vaughan and A-Rod.

      1. Starlin is very good. That graphic didn't seem all that weird to me. They were making an early-career comparison but weren't handing him the crown yet.

        1. I've been really impressed with him as my fantasy SS; I kept him after last year. I haven't seen him play the field (this would be the only reason I have to watch a Cubs game), but if he can stick at short he's got a bright future.

          1. 102 OPS+ so far in his career. solidly negative dWAR (for what that's worth). At age 20, A-Rod hit 54 doubles and 36 HRs. And had positive dWAR.

      1. Yeah, can't beat that.

        I went on a long rant about that today. My FIL assumed I meant the "much worse" sequel, which I never considered seeing.

        1. I didn't even see the first one, but the commercials gave me migraines. I just figured any Michael Bay film is a contender for 'stupidest'.

          Oh, and The Smurfs.

          1. I never would have seen it, but a friend in Minnesota dragged me to everything, both awesome and terrible. He paid, too, because he had the money and he was only too happy to get away from his kooky wife.

            I had no idea that Bay directed it until I was in the theater. When his name showed up, I audibly and involuntarily swore. I groaned at the dialogue several times, and I never understood what people saw in the film's fighting and all that. The action in that movie is sloppy and incomprehensible.

  31. that's the first mention i've seen of it, and my reaction was largely similar.

    (i like how this has become a quasi-movie day post)

          1. Now that Barnes & Noble has their semi-annual 50% off Criterion DVD/Blu-ray sale, I should probably finally pick up The Thin Red Line. And like 3 or 4 other discs.

  32. Okay, here's a thought: why not change the broadcasters every inning? If relievers only face a batter or two, surely we could swap Buck & McCarver out after the first and get someone slightly less moribund in the booth.

    1. or the game ends with him on deck. Seems more likely. Mebbe Fox will assume the game over even if it is not.

  33. Remember when Capps got the Win in last year's ASG? I don't have any reason for bringing that up, but it still makes me laugh. Perhaps more now.

  34. If Paulie is the hero here, I dunno what I'd do.

    Wait, I just remembered, this is an exhibition game. Who cares?

  35. 2010 Winning pitcher, securing homefield for the NL: Matt Capps, WAS
    2011 Winning pitcher, securing homefield for the NL: Tyler Clippard, WAS

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