i have poor circulation.
my left foot is slightly bigger than my right foot.
i enjoy a good chick flick, but my standards are high.
i spend 84.3% of my time worrying; the rest is spent wondering what i'd be worrying about or just creating more worry in my life.
i don't want to leave home so soon.
i care for my friends and family so much that it's a burden sometimes. i don't mind though.
i forgive and forget too easily.
i love to love.
i leaked tears for the first time in a long time today. and it wasn't from watching a movie.
i'm content for the most part, but i have a lot of figuring out to do.
yet, i'm leaving the figuring out part to God, faith, serendipity and good times.
To all the goods: good food, good friends, good memories (past and in the making), good health, good conscience.

it's almost the new year, and i have yet to make resolutions. maybe soon? who knows.


the best homecoming ever.

It seems too surreal to put into words or utterances or feelings, really. It's just, amazing.
It's so good to be back home.
After being at the airport for an ungodly number of hours, completing 1.5 hard-level sudokus, reading 100 pages of a book, I'm finally back in great ol' suburbia, (DB!) in my house (which feels foreign, strange, familiar and more like home than ever before), in my room (that my mom has cleaned while I was gone), on my bed (no more twin size for 4 days!), in my old gym shorts, surrounding by nostalgia, comfort and a smell that I still remember.
Nothing has changed, really. My parents are doing well, my little sister is still the best little sister in the world, my room arrangement is fairly untouched. But there are subtitles: my sister seems more mature, if that even possible. Even in the way she carries herself and respond. I was really freaking out that my sister was just watching T.V. all day, surfing YouTube and allowing her brain to rot in this MTV-reality-show-no-substance crap that has defined our generation. But no. She seems...more knowledgeable. More understanding. As hard as it was to move 3000 miles away from home, in the back of my mind, I knew it would do my sister, and probably the family, some good if I left. Now, Joyce has to be self-sufficient and learn things the hard way--the better way. I don't have to peek over her shoulder to watch her every move because she can think for herself now. I'll always be her and she knows that. But I think we are both benefiting. I can now rest assured that my sister is doing well and is happy :)
As for my parents, couldn't have been happier to see my mom walk through the gate today (she just came back from a business trip). I thought it would be slightly awkward or really emotional, but it wasn't, really. Things seemed to pick off where I left them, that day in August when I left. Time has gone by, but I am no stranger to my home, and I don't want to be. Ever. But that day will come. Family is that much more of a bonding glue now. It's why I'm so lucky and so blessed. They give me my freedom, but at the same time always encourage me to be active. I miss this, but not I appreciate it more.
As for now, I'm so stoked to see my friends and let everything just settle into my gut.
Here's to good food, good times, a good Thanksgiving and good moments.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


i wanna....

go home already!
i've spent the entire day being lazy and bumbling around.
i got a lot of new music from alex, so that should keep me entertained for awhile.
jay-z's grey album is so good!
i'm off to the library, or somewhere else other than my room,
so i can concentrate without the distractions of my laptop.



You're moving too fast for me...

I had a really great time tonight. I went to dinner with some hallmates to the Jewish Freeman Center and had this awesome Thanksgiving dinner with lots of food, fun and manishevitz. Afterwards Eric, Alex, Doug and Kiley trekked back to the bus stop and we went to watch "Once" at the BC.
It was really simple and so bittersweet. I use that word, "bittersweet" a lot, but it seems to define so many things in life. Nothing is ever one-sided; there's always a part that remains imperfect or slightly undesirable, but it makes the extreme cases that much better (or less worse because you came to expect it already). Once is a "musical," but in the most unconventional sense. It's based around the life of a nameless struggling artist who ends up befriend a nameless woman. They have instant chemistry, but we find out he has been coping with his past love for a very long time and the girl is still married. However, they work together to get him a record deal and record some of his tracks. The songs are a part of the movie. It's at the core, the essence of the film because their relationship and the struggles of life are spoken through the songs. The two bond with others through the music. They experience each other's pains through the lonely piano chords and strums of the guitar. I won't say the movie had a happy ending, because it didn't, but I was content now that I look back, because they had each other for a while, and they'll always remember the moments. The little things. They had that shoulder to lean on, that person to lend them their CD player, to fix their vacuum, to push them to become a better person. It's so nice to be reminded that love, friendship and simple pleasures will always be the core of our existence. haha, i even bought the CD off of iTunes. kill me.
I'm stressed for econ and the paper, but i don't feel like studying. fudgenut.
deep breath.


It all comes to an end

I'm not too sure why, but I'm in such a good mood today. Despite the fact that I woke up at 6:40 a.m. for registration (blah) and took a Chinese test (went decently well), I'm just looking on the bright side of things. I'm super stoked to take classes next semester because they're actually classes that I want to take. So in that sense, I want the semester to end. Soon.
However, on a sadder note, I went to my last Durham Nativity School teaching session today and I'm more depressed than I thought I would be. I really enjoyed the class and even though the class didn't accomplish as much as I thought we would, the kids were so open to sharing and we just had really fun discussions and it's so great to have these kids look up to you. Plus, I think the group is really good at promoting Prospective Health Care now. Gah, I miss DNS already.
I'll post pictures later.
I need to study some more Econ (which I'm getting into now that I have the time to actually sit down and read) and I promised myself this week was all work, so I'm going to stick to that agenda. Damn it, I don't mean agenda. I mean...Whatever, I'm studying. Toodles.


Sunday Morning...

Oh boy.
But now, it's Sunday. I have to work.


Oh my.

I did it.

I created a blog.

Call it self-indulgement, call it a form of venting, but I did it.

I'm not too sure why I finally decided to take the 2 minutes to finish up the registration process (apparently I've signed on before), but I think venting and self-glorification can be fun.

I've also realized how much I love writing (because somehow I forget...). I may not be the very best at it, but I love it, and I don't think I'll ever stop loving it. Maybe that's why I've been feeling so frustrated about nothing lately. Because I haven't really been able to put my thoughts down on paper and sort through the piles of crap that lay in my head and just sit and come up once in a while to haunt me and make me feel completely overwhelmed and pathetic.

Or I think a better reason is I went to a Chronicle Alumni Open House/Workshop and I realized how planning my life away is not a good idea. At all. I need to stop. Don't get me wrong--I'll still have days where I stress out, but as to what I want out of "life," I'm going to leave that up to time, mistakes and chance. I'm going to place faith in the unknown and just have a great time while I can. I wish I realized this a long time ago (aka since the beginning of time) and though I've come a long way, I still have a lot to learn, a lot to experience, and a lot to bitch about, so why should I lock myself into a set agenda?

So here's to blogging, and expect a lot more to come.


Tenative To-Do List (not an anal one, I swear):
-learn some html so I can spruce this up
-stress out less, because maybe then my back won't feel like a solid brick wall
-sleep more, but that's relative
-sing more, because I think more people need to listen to me while I shower