Adobe Update Hell

I've been hopeful in the past about Adobe installers, and there have been improvements. But Adobe's update process still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth every time I try to use it, which is with less and less frequency, largely because of said bitter taste.

Adobe Updater: Update Thyself? Not Confidence-Inspiring
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Even more frustrating is the fact that Adobe's updaters continue to annoy even after being expressly told not to. To wit, this dialog popped up out of nowhere recently, despite its preferences being set otherwise.

Adobe Updater Preferences: Completely Disregarded
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I contend that Adobe's automated update process is just plain broken. It's actually much easier to use their support site than their updater. That's what I do when I need to run Adobe updates. And I keep the updater turned off.

Or at least I try to.