And So it began




Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Can I just say....this has been the craziest 24hrs!!!!
So I went for my biopsy yesterday...while doing the repeat ultrasound (to find the spots the MRI did cause we know it is all seeing....kinda like "the great and powerful Oz) they couldn't actually find clearly enough anything to biopsy....good or bad...not sure just they are sending me back for an MRI guided biopsy. Now you know my needle issue...I had "tough talked" myself into being all brave and stuff...not gonna lie...kind of a let-down. I mean I had gotten so relaxed with the idea...I just may have dozed on the bed waiting for the radiologist....(ok...that could have had more to do with jet lag/no sleep/playing with my girls than really being okay with the needle thing). All I can say is that when they go searching with an ultrasound paddle and can't find what they are looking for.....I thought they were gonna come out the back side of my ribs....needless to say...a tad tender today.

 So while I am a BIG smidge miffed that I had to fly home early (14 days..but who's counting) and now have to wait for the "actual" biopsy....maybe as much as 3 weeks...I can rest and regroup. I am finding that my headaches are way worse and the heat just wipes me out really fast and I am still sore from the last one (blasted nerve endings)...not enjoying that little bonus one bit....ARGGGG!!!

 My plan was to call this morning and see about the MRI and wouldn't you believe it...they called first and gave me an Aug 23rd appt. I know what you are thinking...cause I am too...."As if I flew home for nothing and now have to wait 3 weeks...double ARGGG!!!" I just need to keep reminding myself that the Lord is running this show and it is all happening on His time frame...when it's supposed to.... so although annoyed...I'm okay with it. He hasn't left my side yet and so I just need to take this a step at a time and not get all kerfuffle when it derails my plans. Now that isn't to say that I don't do my part by make calls and ask questions and just staying on top of my own care (be MY advocate)...I just need to sit back and let it fall into place.

     Funny story though....I can be a bit of an airhead...especially in the morning....and so I forgot to ask where this MRI is gonna happen…Yes I had to call back and wait on hold again...but when I ask "Bob" to check the location for me and he can't find my appt...(the one I JUST booked) he spends 10 minutes looking for me....pulling out his magic wand and waves the fairy dust my way...and POW...he gets me booked in for Aug 9th...which means my flight home wasn't for nothing...and I would have had to cut it short anyway....sigh!!! (I SOOOOOO need to meet him and lay some BIG OL' MAMA HUG on him!!)  
    I never want to be "that" kind of a patient....I know it has helped and had an effected me....but VoR pointed out an interesting observation to me....I almost didn't include it....kinda feel like it's blowing my own horn and all...but here it is...
"It's amazing how your positive attitude is affecting the medical providers in ways that make them want to move mountains for you. Because you are so positive you never have to ask for things to be sped up because they just find ways to make it happen. They do it because of who you are and how your present yourself. It’s all about gratitude (with a large dose of humour) and you show it whenever you go to an appointment." 
Isn't he  FREAKIN AWESOME!!!! 
I have tried really hard to be positive and joyful thru each step so far and with everyone I encounter. (I didn't even have to pay him to say that....actually I hadn't stepped back enough to see the big picture unfold like he has. I just need to remind myself to wait and watch things being put into place in the Lord's time....miracles are everywhere if we just choose to look for them....and just because some are tiny and easily missed, that doesn't make them any less a miracle.