Spider, spider, spider, SPIDER! (Picture: Kmonroe2)

It’s that time of year, dreaded by arachnophobes across the country, when the shift in weather sends the eight-legged creatures indoors to invade our rooms and drive us to insanity.

And this year, the not-so-little creatures seem to be on something.

They’re even bigger, even scarier and even more creepy than ever before.

Fortunately, there are ways to deal with this invasion besides surrounding yourselves with conkers.

Deep breath, arachnophobes, let’s walk ourselves through the all-important steps.

1. The sighting

shining gif

The panic, the fear, the all-encompassing terror that grips you.

2. The screaming

scream screaming home alone

Whatever that first reaction may be, odds are that some sort of unnatural utterance will escape your lips, be it a squeal, a squeak or a scream.

3. Fight or flight

spamalot monty python

The initial reaction is then immediately followed by an action.

Perhaps you are one of those who go straight for the kill… Perhaps not.


MORE: Nine ways to stop the giant spider invasion

4. Now what?

ned stark evil game of thrones

Once your heart has returned to its normal rhythm, the inhaler has been used and your hands have stopped shaking, the realisation hits you that you need to actually do something.

You can’t just leave it! What if it hides somewhere? You’ll never sleep soundly again.

5. The mission to find someone who isn’t afraid to help you


They are superheroes and their powers are needed.

6. What if they can’t help?


If they don’t immediately offer to help (or suggest ways for you to dispose of said creature – completely oblivious to the full extent of your phobia) become hysterical.

MORE: These 10 movies could help you tackle the giant spider invasion (maybe)

7. You try to deal with it yourself

david tenant win doctor who

Get someone to talk you through it. Psych yourself up to move in closer.

Get the biggest box you can find to cover it until someone else can come and remove it.

You can do this. You will not be defeated.

8. If all else fails…


Hide. You can just move.