Extreme Cruise Ship

Right now I am watching a show on Destination America (did anyone else know this channel existed?) titled “Extreme Cruise Ship.” The show follows the crew and passengers as they board Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas. I think the show is supposed to show the glamour and appeal of a cruise. For me, this is confirming that a cruise would be my worst nightmare.

The ship first set sail in December of 2010 and has the ability to carry over 6,000 passengers each trip. At that point in time, the ship set the record for the largest cruise ship in the world. Unfortunately, the sister ship Allure of the Seas is a mere 2 inches longer, setting a new record.

Oasis of the Seas is definitely an impressive ship. It features two-story loft suites and luxury suites measuring 1,600 sq ft (double the size of my apartment!) with balconies overlooking the sea or promenades. The ship features a zip-line, a casino, a mini-golf course, multiple night clubs, several bars and lounges, a karaoke club, comedy club, five swimming pools, volleyball and basketball courts, theme parks and nurseries for children.

This is where things get weird… Onboard recreational, athletic, and entertainment activities are organized into seven themed areas called “neighborhoods”, sort of like theme parks. Below are descriptions of these seven neighborhoods.

  1. Central Park features boutiques, restaurants and bars, including access to the Rising Tide bar, which can be raised or lowered between three decks. It has the first living park at sea with over 12,000 plants and 56 trees. So in other words, nothing like the Central Park of NYC.
  2. The Pool and Sports Zone features a sloped-entry beach pool and two surf simulators.
  3. Vitality at Sea Spa and Fitness Center features a spa for teens (really? a spa for teens?)
  4. Boardwalk features a handcrafted carousel, restaurants, bars, shops, two rock-climbing walls, and a temporary tattoo parlor. Its outdoor 750-seat Aqua Theatre amphitheater hosts the ship’s largest freshwater pool. As a kid, this sounds awesome. Now imagine spending an entire week here as an adult. Not so awesome anymore…
  5. Royal Promenade features restaurants and shops.
  6. Youth Zone features a science lab and computer gaming. Awesome, you brought your kids on a cruise and all they do is play video games. Talk about an ideal family vacation!
  7. Entertainment Place. I can’t find information on what this area includes. I bet it doesn’t even exist but no one notices cause the boat is so big.

While the idea of a cruise, to travel at night and wake up at a different location in the morning, sounds pretty good, I don’t think I can fully get over all of the other stuff that comes with cruises: being trapped on a boat, in the middle of the ocean, with families wearing matching “we’re on vacation” t-shirts sounds horrible!

I don’t think I am going to be able to sleep tonight.