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For those of you who may not know, "Fatal" ("From Another Time, Another Land" or "Fantasy Adventure To Adult Lechery", depending on who you ask) is widely regarded as one of the worst roleplaying games ever created.

The game is aggressively racist, sexist and violent, and seems to be chock full of rules about how to roleplay violent and bizarre sexual assault. And yes, it does contain tables that will allow you to determine your character's nipple length and diameter, vaginal depth and width, anal depth and width, et cetera, et cetera. It makes Neo-Nazi truck stop bathroom graffiti look like the collected works of Shakespeare.

Of course, it's also poorly conceived and written to the point of being completely and utterly unplayable. The mechanics are garbage, the stats and modifiers are nonsensical, the character classes are useless, the spell list reads like the hallucinatory babblings of a concussed seven-year-old who was exposed to five hours of torture porn and tried to use it to deduce where babies come from, and - perhaps worst of all - the PDF is larger than most dictionaries.

I'm not going to link it here, but the document isn't hard to find. I actually do recommend a quick skim through for anyone with a strong stomach and an appreciation for the bizarre, macabre, and puerile. It's the digital equivalent of strolling through a serial killer's lair, all full of coded diaries, lovingly detailed murals of mutilated vaginas fingerpainted in blood and scat, dolls made of squirrel bones and people's hair, and so on.

"Mouse Guard" is a roleplaying game about a little colony of mice who inexplicably have Iron Age technology, based on the comic series of the same name. It's quite charming.

(Thursday afternoon, INT: Overdrive Computers)

EB: So did you make your character for Max's game yet?
GU: No, I only had the chance to skim the game document. I still can't believe she wrote her own roleplaying system.
EB: Well, it's only, what, a dozen pages?
LH: Max made her own roleplaying system? Gods, I bet it makes Fatal look like Mouse Guard. Did you already roll your vaginal circumference, or is she letting you do point buy?
EB: Actually, it's pretty stripped down and combat-focused. Reminded me of Fuzion, actually, but with these weird rules about rhythm-based magic.
GU: Yeah, it's pretty interesting-looking.
LH: Wow. I'm kinda regretting bowing out now.
EB: Although, evidently, if our characters "get laid", we automatically get ten of something called "Mayhem Points"...
LH: Aaaaand I made the right decision after all. Hooray for me.