Coronado SAFE and Family Enrichment: Your Journey is Our Journey!100+ Boredom Busting Ideas for Kids!2016-05-30T20:08:11+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p>Most of the time, kids left to their own devices end up doing something interesting, but sometimes they really do need our help, especially if she suddenly has more time on her hands than usual, or if you’re newly limiting TV and electronics. (Once kids get used to limitations on TV and electronics, they become good at entertaining themselves, and more creative at play.) </p> <p>Even if you need to help your child come up with ideas for “what to do,” shift the responsibility to her by creating a Boredom Jar stuffed with ideas written on pieces of paper. Whenever a child says she’s bored, she picks three pieces of paper from the jar and chooses one of the activities.</p> <p>Here are some examples of ideas that might be in your Boredom Buster Jar:</p> <ul> <li>Make a book of jokes </li> <li>Build a fort with blankets and pillows </li> <li>Write your Grandma a letter </li> <li>Cut out paper dolls and costumes for them </li> <li>Get a magnet and make a list of everything in your house that is magnetized </li> <li>Get a ruler and measure things in your house, recording their length </li> <li>Run around the yard three times </li> <li>Put on some music and dance </li> <li>Make a laser obstacle course in your hall with yarn or tape </li> <li>Wash the mirror with a sponge </li> <li>Write down ten things you love about each person in your family </li> <li>Brush the dog </li> <li>Draw a tree </li> <li>Make a dollhouse out of cardboard </li> <li>Learn a tongue twister </li> <li>Make homemade ice cream in a baggie </li> <li>Dig a hole in the back yard </li> <li>Give the dog a bath </li> <li>Find shapes in the clouds </li> <li>Make paper airplanes and fly them </li> <li>See how many times you can dribble the basketball </li> <li>Cut a guitar out of cardboard and add rubber band strings </li> <li>Paint a picture </li> <li>Play capture the flag </li> <li>Wash the car </li> <li>Make a birthday card </li> <li>Plan a treasure hunt, with clues </li> <li>Ride your bike </li> <li>Make a scene in a cardboard box </li> <li>Use boxes to build a castle </li> <li>Use an eye dropper to drop vinegar tinted with food coloring onto a pie pan filled with baking soda </li> <li>Start a journal </li> <li>Make homemade wrapping paper </li> <li>Mix ivory soap, kleenex and water to make clean clouds on a cookie sheet </li> <li>Organize your room </li> <li>Write a story </li> <li>Create a play with costumes </li> <li>Make paper bag puppets or sock puppets </li> <li>Cut out pictures from magazines and make a collage </li> <li>Use plain white paper and envelopes and decorate your own personalized stationery </li> <li>Cut up old holiday cards and make holiday stickers for next year by coating the back with gelatin glue, let dry (dissolve 2 tsp gelatin in 5 tsp boiling water.) </li> <li>Surprise your mom by making lunch </li> <li>Make a zoo for your stuffed animals </li> <li>Have a lemonade sale </li> <li>Make &amp; decorate a calendar of the summer, with important dates marked. </li> <li>Put juice &amp; cut-up fruit into ice cube trays to make ice cubes. </li> <li>Create a family newspaper/newsletter </li> <li>Make dessert </li> <li>Use masking tape to make a race track for your cars all over your living room </li> <li>Play Tag or Freeze Tag </li> <li>Start a collection (leaves, rocks, buttons) </li> <li>Hang a clothesline in your room and clip photos to it to make an album </li> <li>Create a circus performance </li> <li>Learn a new card game </li> <li>Make a potion lab outside with food coloring and jars (wear an apron!) </li> <li>Set up a shop and be the shop keeper </li> <li>Make your room into a rainforest </li> <li>Make a sculpture from pretzels and peanut butter </li> <li>Write the story of your life </li> <li>Do a something kind for someone, in secret </li> <li>Make an obstacle course </li> <li>Play Simon Says </li> <li>Bowl in your hallway with soda bottles or toilet paper tubes </li> <li>Make a placemat (just laminate it at the local copy shop) </li> <li>Write some limericks or haiku </li> <li>Decorate an old teeshirt with cool buttons &amp; fabric pens </li> <li>Start a club </li> <li>Make rock candy </li> <li>Plant a terrarium </li> <li>Make a daisy chain </li> <li>Decorate a rock and make a house to keep it as a pet </li> <li>Use old cardboard tubes and boxes to build a marble maze. </li> <li>Make "funky junk" art out of old jewelry </li> <li>Read a book </li> <li>Make snow globes or calming jars with glycerin and glitter </li> <li>Have a water balloon fight (outside!) </li> <li>Memorize a poem and recite it for your parents </li> <li>Make a boat using a plastic soda bottle base &amp; popsicle sticks (use duct tape) for the top, then float it at the pond. </li> <li>Draw a picture of a desert island with all the things you would want on it </li> <li>Blindfold your sibling &amp; take them on a tour of your house &amp; yard, then trade places. </li> <li>Play a board game </li> <li>Play Mother May I </li> <li>Make a fairy house for your garden </li> <li>Cut out a crown, tape into a circle to fit your head and decorate </li> <li>Create your own board game </li> <li>See if you can draw a picture with your foot. </li> <li>Draw on the sidewalk with chalk </li> <li>Play hopscotch </li> <li>Set up a restaurant and serve pretend meals </li> <li>Play jumprope </li> <li>Play with bubbles in the sink </li> <li>Plant some seeds </li> <li>Make a windsock </li> <li>Use the hose and a tarp to make a slip and slide on your lawn </li> <li>Paint your toenails </li> <li>Play dodgeball with a soft ball </li> <li>Make a curving line of dominoes and knock the first one so they fall down in a row </li> <li>Weed the garden </li> <li>Make puppets with old socks, buttons &amp; markers. </li> <li>Make a list of fun things you can do without a grownup </li> <li>Mix liquid hand soap, cornstarch and food coloring into paint and paint the bathtub. </li> <li>String beads to make friendship bracelets. </li> <li>Use the hose, pvc pipe and soda bottles to construct waterways in your yard </li> <li>Use pipe cleaners to make animals </li> <li>Use pipe cleaners to make an indoor ring toss game </li> <li>Use a basket and string to rig an elevator to hoist stuffed animals up your stairwell </li> <li>String a necklace out of pasta </li> <li>Practice kicking a soccer ball </li> <li>Glue popsicle sticks together to make picture frames, decorate. </li> <li>Make and fill a bird feeder </li> <li>Make playdoh </li> <li>Paint sea shells or rocks </li> <li>Make bean bags </li> <li>Blow bubbles </li> <li>Give your dolls or stuffed animals a bubble bath</li> </ul> <p><strong><em>Article by Aha! Read the full article <a href="">here</a>. </em></strong></p>Why Boredom is GOOD for Your Child 2016-05-24T19:43:58+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<div class="article-head"> <h4><em>“Mom, I’m bored.” </em></h4> <p>Makes you feel put on the spot, right? You might even feel like you're a bad parent. Most of us feel responsible when we hear this from our children and want to solve this "problem" right away. We respond to our kids’ boredom by providing technological entertainment or structured activities. But that's actually counter-productive. Children need to encounter and engage with the raw stuff that life is made of: unstructured time. </p> </div> <h4>Why is unstructured time for children so important?</h4> <p>Unstructured time gives children the opportunity to explore their inner and outer worlds, which is the beginning of creativity. This is how they learn to engage with themselves and the world, to imagine and invent and create.</p> <p>Unstructured time also challenges children to explore their own passions. If we keep them busy with lessons and structured activity, or they "fill" their time with screen entertainment, they never learn to respond to the stirrings of their own hearts, which might lead them to study the bugs on the sidewalk (as Einstein did for hours), build a fort in the back yard, make a monster from clay, write a short story or song, or organize the neighborhood kids into making a movie. These calls from our heart are what lead us to those passions that make life meaningful, and they are available to us even beginning in childhood, when we are given free rein to explore and pursue where our interests lead us. </p> <p>It's also essential for children to have the experience of deciding for themselves how to use periods of unstructured time, or they'll never learn to manage it. One of our biggest challenges as adults, and even as teenagers, is learning to manage our time well. As Nancy H. Blakey said,</p> <blockquote class="quote-3"> <div class="quote-icon"></div> <p><em>“Preempt the time spent on television and organized activities and have them spend it instead on claiming their imaginations. For in the end, that is all we have. If a thing cannot be imagined first -- a cake, a relationship, a cure for AIDS-- it cannot be. Life is bound by what we can envision. I cannot plant imagination into my children. I can, however, provide an environment where their creativity is not just another mess to clean up but welcome evidence of grappling successfully with boredom. It is possible for boredom to deliver us to our best selves, the ones that long for risk and illumination and unspeakable beauty. If we sit still long enough, we may hear the call behind boredom. With practice, we may have the imagination to rise up from the emptiness and answer.” </em></p> </blockquote> <h4>Why does "I'm bored" become a constant refrain for so many kids?</h4> <p>Most kids given unstructured time rise to the occasion (after some minor complaining) and find something interesting to do with it. Kids are always happiest in self-directed play. That's because play is children's work. It's how they work out emotions and experiences they've had. Watch any group of children playing (outside, when screens are not an option) and they will organize themselves into an activity of some sort, whether that's making a dam at the creek, playing "pretend" or seeing who can jump farthest. </p> <p>When kids simply can’t find something to do, it’s usually because: </p> <ol> <li>They're so used to screen entertainment that they aren’t practiced at looking inside themselves for direction.</li> <li>Their time is always so structured that they aren’t used to finding fun things to do with their “free time.”</li> <li>They need some parental attention. All kids need to check in with their parents for refueling during the course of the day.</li> </ol> <p>Unfortunately, our society is raising a whole generation of children who are addicted to screens. That's because electronics (Ipads, phones, computers, game boys) are designed to produce little "dopamine" rewards in our brains as we interact with them. That's so enjoyable that other experiences pale in comparison. </p> <p>But children need all kinds of other experiences, from building with blocks (motor skills, perceptual abilities) to engaging with other kids (learning how to get along and partner with others) to creative pursuits (becoming a doer, not a passive observer). Children also need to be physically active, or they can't focus to learn. That's why it's essential to limit screen time. </p> <h4>When children say they are bored, how can parents respond? </h4> <p>First, stop what you’re doing and really focus on your child for five minutes. If you use this time to connect, just chat and snuggle, your child will probably get the refueling he needs and be on his way fairly quickly. </p> <p>If he doesn’t pull away from you, and you need to get back to work after a few minutes of fully connecting, consider that maybe he needs a little more time with you. Most of the time when children are whiny and unable to focus, it's because they need more deep connection time with us. Offer to involve him in what you’re doing, or take a break from your work and do something together. </p> <p>Once you’re confident that your child has a full “love tank,” you can revisit the “what to do” question. By now, he probably has some ideas for something he’d like to go do. If not, tell him that figuring out how to enjoy his own time is his job, but you’d be happy to help him brainstorm about possible activities.</p> <h4>If it really does seem like there is nothing to do, is using electronics and TV ever an acceptable solution? </h4> <p>The problem with using TV or electronic games to alleviate boredom is that it is one of those temporary solutions that digs you into a deeper hole. Studies show that kids who regularly use electronics are more likely to feel bored when not doing so than other kids. Even after eliminating the habit, it can take months for them to find other activities about which they're passionate. But don't give up -- you're doing their creativity an enormous favor! </p> <p>If your child can read, there is never "nothing" to do. There is a whole world of books just waiting. Of course, you will need to schedule a weekly library trip to find wonderful books. And you will have to "hook" your child on a book by beginning it with her. Choose a book she can read, but might not choose on her own -- a simple chapter book, rather than a picture book, for example. Read together until you have to answer the phone or start dinner, but a minimum of a quarter of the book, so your child is hooked. Then tell her it's time for her read-alone time. It’s her choice. Does she want to keep reading the book you've just gotten her into, or read something else? Most kids grab the book and finish it themselves. (If she doesn't, you may need to drop back a level to a slightly simpler book.) Keep choosing engrossing, slightly harder books. If you need ideas for fascinating children's books, there are many wonderful lists online including <a href="">5 Star Children's Books</a>.</p> <p>If your child CAN read but has been reading all day and needs a break, and you have just spent half an hour with her and can't spend more, and there are no playmates around, and your child can't find anything to do in the boredom buster jar, she needs a special project that she can get passionate about. This is the time to pull out something special you've tucked away. For me, it was toothpicks, mini marshmallows and gumdrops, which could be fashioned into wonderful sculptures and of course held special appeal because some found their way into little mouths that didn't get much sugar. This may be a compromise you wouldn't make, but every child has something they would find fascinating for half an hour that you can arrange for those emergency situations. </p> <p>If your child cannot yet read, but you are available, there are thousands of wonderful things you can do with your child. You are likely to draw a blank in that moment when your child is whining, so it's worth making a list in advance. Again, there are many wonderful lists online of parent-child activities. I highly recommend games that are designed to bring you closer to your child, because these will fill his cup, after which he will be more able to figure out what else to do. (They also deepen your relationship, which makes kids much more cooperative and makes you both happier.) Here are some examples: <a href="">Games to Play with Your Child for Connection &amp; Emotional Intelligence</a>.</p> <p>So those times when there really is "nothing" to do are mostly when your child cannot yet read to herself well enough to stay engrossed for an hour, and you are otherwise occupied. If you can include your child in your activity, your problem is solved. Small children love to wash windows, cook dinner, help you fold laundry, etc. If they can't be directly involved (for instance, stirring a pot on the stove or cutting the onions), set them up with a child-sized table in or next to your kitchen, give them a plastic knife and some soft fruit, and let them make a fruit salad for dessert. You will never see such a proud child. Or let them "wash" the porch with water while you vacuum inside. Or "clean out" the cupboard where you keep your pots and pans. </p> <p>If you are doing something that precludes your child helping or even being in the same room, such as sweeping up broken glass, put on some music. Most preschoolers and toddlers love music, and will happily dance to it, or march around beating a rhythm on a pot, and singing to the music. Of course, that's not a quiet activity! </p> <p>But let's assume you are doing something where they can't be involved, such as nursing the baby to sleep, and your toddler or preschooler needs to be kept busy and quiet. Preschoolers can often happily occupy themselves for an hour with water or sand (set them up in the bathroom with a baby bathtub of water, ice cubes, pouring toys, etc, or a small plastic tub of sand with small toys), and if you have a monitor, you will be able to hear if he needs you. </p> <p>Another wonderful option is a book on tape or cd. A good one will mesmerize your child, and unlike visual screens, they stimulate the imagination and encourage a love of books and stories. </p> <p>But the real issue with young children is that they need supervision. In such a case, when you can't supervise them, is it so terrible to put your two or three year old in front of a screen for half an hour? Of course not. Choose a tape that is limited in length so there's a natural ending to eliminate fights when you turn it off, and to keep your child from seeing commercials. Give your child something to look forward to afterwards:</p> <blockquote class="quote-1"> <div class="quote-icon"><em>"Once the baby is asleep, you and I will spend some special time together" </em></div> </blockquote> <p>And just be sure you turn off the screen once you're available, rather than taking advantage of it to finish "just one more thing" on your computer!</p> <p></p> <p>Article by Aha! Read the full article <a href="">here</a>. </p>If Kids Can Hear Promises, They Can Hear Requests2016-05-17T12:23:58+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p><span style="">You can train your child to hear you the first time you say something...or you can train them to ignore you. Raising a child who listens to adults is a source of joy. Raising one who doesn't is a constant source of frustration and torment. Our actions train kids to listen or </span><em style="">not </em><span style="">to listen.</span></p> <p></p> <p>Consider this situation I encountered in an airport. Joshua, a five-year-old, was running out into the concourse. "Joshua. You stop that running!" called his mother. She did not follow through, so Joshua continued dashing in and out of a crowed of irritated travelers. "Joshua. Get over here!" Once more, she barked an order, but did nothing to enforce it. "Joshua! Get off of that!" Another order was shouted by mom and ignored by Joshua. Suddenly, Joshua was right at my feet.</p> <p>I looked down at Joshua and asked, "What's your mom going to do if you don't do what she says?" He knew the answer immediately, "Nothing." Of course he was right. His mother had trained him to know that she would bark orders, but never enforce them. Why should he listen if he could do as he pleased, without adult interference, by not listening?</p> <p><span style="">Training kids to listen is not brain surgery. It's not complicated. Joshua's mom could retrain him to listen by first retraining herself to do the following:</span></p> <p></p> <p><strong>1. Make a commitment she will never repeat herself.</strong></p> <p>Kids unconsciously learn how many times each parent will repeat a request before taking action. She can give Joshua the gift of knowing she will only say something once.</p> <p></p> <p><strong>2. Be prepared to act.</strong></p> <p>She needs to be dedicated to making her child's life somewhat uncomfortable each time he fails to listen the first time she says something. This means as soon as he disobeys she goes to him, takes him back to his seat, and makes him stay with her saying, "How sad not to listen. Now you can stay with me."</p> <p></p> <p>She should never accept, "But I didn't hear you," as an excuse<strong>. </strong>When confronted with this excuse, she should respond with, "How sad not to be listening. Maybe your ears will get better." It is important she says this without sarcasm and follows through with the consequences of not listening.</p> <p></p> <p><strong>3. Be prepared for fits about not getting his way.</strong></p> <p>Even though this will be uncomfortable, other adults will secretly applaud her courage and willingness to put forth the efforts to raise a well-behaved child.</p> <p></p> <p><strong>4. Enjoy a more responsible and happier child!</strong></p> <p>I have worked with kids and families for 47 years. During that time I have never met a child who failed to hear a parent's promise. They always hear promises the first time. I've also learned their ears work the same way for requests when parents learn and follow the four steps I've outlined. Training and expecting kids to listen is one of a parent's greatest gifts. </p> <p>By Jim Fay for<a href=""> Love &amp; Logic</a></p>What to Do (and Not Do) When Children Are Anxious2016-05-03T13:44:53+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p><span style="">When children are chronically anxious, even the most well-meaning parents can fall into a negative cycle and, not wanting a child to suffer, actually exacerbate the youngster’s anxiety. It happens when parents, anticipating a child’s fears, try to protect her from them. Here are pointers for helping children escape the cycle of anxiety.</span></p> <p><strong>1. The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety, but to help a child manage it.</strong><br>None of us wants to see a child unhappy, but the best way to help kids overcome anxiety isn’t to try to remove stressors that trigger it. It’s to help them learn to tolerate their anxiety and function as well as they can, even when they’re anxious. And as a byproduct of that, the anxiety will decrease or fall away over time.</p> <p><strong>2. Don’t avoid things just because they make a child anxious.</strong><br>Helping children avoid the things they are afraid of will make them feel better in the short term, but it reinforces the anxiety over the long run. If a child in an uncomfortable situation gets upset, starts to cry—not to be manipulative, but just because that’s how she feels—and her parents whisk her out of there, or remove the thing she’s afraid of, she’s learned that coping mechanism, and that cycle has the potential to repeat itself.</p> <p><strong>3. Express positive—but realistic—expectations.</strong><br>You can’t promise a child that her fears are unrealistic—that she won’t fail a test, that she’ll have fun ice skating, or that another child won’t laugh at her during show &amp; tell. But you can express confidence that she’s going to be okay, she will be able to manage it, and that, as she faces her fears, the anxiety level will drop over time. This gives her confidence that your expectations are realistic, and that you’re not going to ask her to do something she can’t handle.</p> <p><strong>4. Respect her feelings, but don’t empower them.</strong><br>It’s important to understand that validation doesn’t always mean agreement. So if a child is terrified about going to the doctor because she’s due for a shot, you don’t want to belittle her fears, but you also don’t want to amplify them. Listen and be empathetic<strong>,</strong> help her understand what she’s anxious about, and encourage her to feel that she can face her fears. The message you want to send is, “I know you’re scared, and that’s okay, and I’m here, and I’m going to help you get through this.”</p> <p><strong>5. Don’t ask leading questions.</strong></p> <p>Encourage your child to talk about her feelings, but try not to ask leading questions— “Are you anxious about the big test? Are you worried about the science fair?” To avoid feeding the cycle of anxiety, just ask open-ended questions: “How are you feeling about the science fair?</p> <p><strong>6. Don’t reinforce the child’s fears.</strong></p> <p>What you don’t want to do is be saying, with your tone of voice or body language: “Maybe this <em>is</em> something that you should be afraid of.” Let’s say a child has had a negative experience with a dog. Next time she’s around a dog, you might be anxious about how she will respond, and you might unintentionally send a message that she <em>should</em>, indeed, be worried.</p> <p><strong>7. Encourage the child to tolerate her anxiety</strong>.<br>Let your child know that you appreciate the work it takes to tolerate anxiety in order to do what she wants or needs to do. It’s really encouraging her to engage in life and to let the anxiety take its natural curve. We call it the “habituation curve”—it will drop over time as she continues to have contact with the stressor. It might not drop to zero, it might not drop as quickly as you would like, but that’s how we get over our fears.</p> <p><strong>8. Try to keep the anticipatory period short.</strong><br>When we’re afraid of something, the hardest time is really <em>before</em> we do it. So another rule of thumb for parents is to really try to eliminate or reduce the anticipatory period. If a child is nervous about going to a doctor’s appointment, you don’t want to launch into a discussion about it two hours before you go; that’s likely to get your child more keyed up. So just try to shorten that period to a minimum.</p> <p><strong>9. Think things through with the child.</strong><br>Sometimes it helps to talk through what would happen if a child’s fear came true—how would she handle it? A child who’s anxious about separating from her parents might worry about what would happen if they didn’t come to pick her up. So we talk about that. If your mom doesn’t come at the end of soccer practice, what would you do? “Well I would tell the coach my mom’s not here.” And what do you think the coach would do? “Well he would call my mom. Or he would wait with me.” A child who’s afraid that a stranger might be sent to pick her up can have a code word from her parents that anyone they sent would know. For some kids, having a plan can reduce the uncertainty in a healthy, effective way.</p> <p><strong>10. Try to model healthy ways of handling anxiety.</strong><br>There are multiple ways you can help kids handle anxiety by letting them see how you cope with anxiety yourself. Kids are perceptive, and they’re going to take it in if you keep complaining on the phone to a friend that you can’t handle the stress or the anxiety. I’m not saying to pretend that you don’t have stress and anxiety, but let kids hear or see you managing it calmly, tolerating it, feeling good about getting through it.</p> <p></p> <p>Article by<a href=""> The Child Mind Institute</a></p>5 Tips for Teaching Your Kids to Handle Conflict2016-04-26T12:14:04+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p>With some simple tips from the Love and Logic Institute, parents can give their kids powerful skills for turning disagreements and conflicts into win-win solutions. All relationships experience conflict. People who understand this…and know how to maintain friendships in the face of friction...enjoy a lifetime of happiness. Those who lack these skills struggle through a life filled with broken relationships and divorce. Apply the following tips, and give your kids the skills they deserve:</p> <h3>Tip #1: Remember that children learn the most about relationships by observing how we handle ours.</h3> <p>How parents handle conflicts in their marriage is typically how their children will handle conflicts in their friendships and future marriages. What we do in front of our kids is far more powerful than how we tell them to live their lives.</p> <h3>Tip #2: Don't make the mistake of trying to create a conflict-free family.</h3> <p>There's no doubt that kids suffer tremendously when they see their parents yell, argue and fight. It's never helpful for children to witness this type of behavior. <span>It's also unhealthy for kids to see their parents stuff their emotions and try to pretend that nothing is wrong. This sends the unhealthy message that problems are to be avoided rather than solved.</span></p> <p>Children are incredibly sensitive to unspoken tension, and they suffer great anxiety when their parents try to hide conflicts that need to be addressed.</p> <h3>Tip #3: Have some healthy disagreements or conflicts in front of your kids.</h3> <p>Children need to see their parents disagreeing, expressing their emotions in assertive ways, and tackling conflicts head on. It's healthy for kids to hear parents say things like, "It makes me mad when I try to use the car and it has no gas" or "It's frustrating to me when it doesn't seem like you are listening to me."</p> <h3>Tip #4: Use the lingo of problem-solving and compromise.</h3> <p>Children also need to hear us saying things like, "How can we solve this problem?" "Let's compromise." "I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings" "Here are some possible solutions…"</p> <h3>Tip #5: Use commonsense about what you discuss in front of your kids.</h3> <p>Wise parents discuss very sensitive topics only when and their children cannot hear. One mother remarked, "I realize now that my husband and I were actually making it harder for our kids to have happy relationships. By trying to keep all of our disagreements a secret, we were robbing them of opportunities to see how problems can be solved. We were also creating a lot of unspoken tension that was draining the life out of our marriage."</p> <p>She continued, "After following the tips you suggested, I witnessed our six-year-old arguing over a toy. I could hardly stop giggling when I heard him say, 'How can we solve this problem? Let's play something else.' That sure beats the whining contests I used to hear!"</p> <p></p> <p>Content provided by Love &amp; Logic: full article <a href="">here</a>. </p>Give Your Children the Values They Deserve2016-03-29T11:13:21+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p><span style="">Peers, TV shows, movies, magazines…with so many external pressures facing kids at younger and younger ages, parents often wonder:</span></p> <ul> <li>How can I get my children to listen to me…instead of the 'cool' kids at school?</li> <li>How do I teach my child the importance of hard work, honesty, and humility?</li> <li>How can I reach them when they get so many messages that seem to say, "Who you are is not as important as how good you look, and how many toys you have?"</li> </ul> <p>There is hope. Using the following tips, parents can have a much stronger influence than any friend or TV commercial:</p> <p></p> <p><span>Tip #1: Instead of telling your kids how to live, show them.</span></p> <p>Wise parents commit lots of honest, respectful, kind, and responsible acts in front of their kids. Simply stated, actions speak louder than words.</p> <p>The next time another driver cuts you off or someone in your neighborhood needs help, treat the situation as an important opportunity to show your children how responsible, caring adults act.</p> <h3>Tip #2: Talk about your values when they're eavesdropping.</h3> <p>What we say in front of our kids is more important than what we say to them. When you do something great, talk about it within earshot of your kids. For example, when your child is sitting nearby, you might say to your spouse, "Honey, the clerk at the store gave me ten dollars too much in change. I could have kept it, but I gave it back. I always feel better when I do the right thing!"</p> <h3>Tip #3: Teach character and responsibility with empathy and consequences.</h3> <p>At the Love and Logic® Institute, they've found the most effective parents allow children to make mistakes in safe situations. Kids develop character and positive values when they learn that poor decisions result in uncomfortable consequences.</p> <p>Parents who deliver consequences with anger raise kids who spend their lives feeling angry and who reject their parents' values. If those same parents replace anger with empathy, their children begin to see them as caring and recognize their values are important.</p> <p><em>By Dr. Charles Fay on <a href=""></a>. <span>Read the full article </span><a href="">here</a><span>.</span></em></p> <p><em><span><br/></span></em></p> <p><em><span><img height="210" src="/static/media/uploads/.thumbnails/for_parents_1.jpg/for_parents_1-1140x210.jpg" width="1140"/></span></em></p>Coffee Talk: The Good Behavior Game...Increasing Compliance &amp; Reducing Conflict2016-03-24T20:38:59+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p>We all want our kids on their best behavior, but what's the best way to go about it? <span>Join us on April 11th for our next FREE Coffee Talk on increasing compliance and reducing conflict with your kids. </span></p> <p><br><strong>The Good Behavior Game </strong></p> <p><strong>With Dr. Monique Reynolds, Ph. D.</strong><br><br><em>Join Us &amp; Receive Tips and Tools On:</em><br><br>*Why Children Develop Difficult Behaviors and How to Change Them<br>*The Core Components of Effective Discipline<br>*How to Manage Behavior in Children Ages 2-12<br>*Proactive Skills to Increasing Your Child's Compliance<br><br>Dr. Reynolds (also known as "Dr. Mo") holds an undergraduate degree from Yale University and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University. She has over 15 years of experience working with children, teens and families in research, teaching, and clinical practice. She provides training to parent groups, teachers and clinical staff on putting research into practice to cultivate emotional health and wellness. As SAFE's Director of Programs, Dr. Mo manages our major programming areas including counseling and support services, student enrichment, and community engagement. She brings a wealth of content expertise to our training and curriculums and serves as an in-house expert for social-emotional concerns.<br><br>This event is sponsored by: Mullins Orthodontics</p>Parents: Additional Resources on Drugs &amp; Alcohol2016-03-23T10:57:56+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p>Looking for additional resources to help kids your kids happy, healthy and drug-free? Look no further!</p> <p></p> <p><a href=""></a></p> <p></p>How to Prevent Drug Use At Every Age2016-03-15T10:11:15+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p>Whether your child is toddling through preschool, meandering through middle school or cruising through his ’20s -- here are tips to help guide him or her toward a healthy life at every age!</p> <h3><span>How old is your child?</span></h3> <p>(<a href="">Article</a> Provided by <a href="">Partnership for Drug-Free Kids</a>)</p> <h3><a href="">2-4 Year Olds</a></h3> <div class="ustyles"> <p>Since the foundation for all healthy habits — from nutrition to toothbrushing— is laid down during the preschool years, this is a great time to set the stage for a drug-free life. The following 7 tips will help you work with your preschooler so that he or she will grow up happy, healthy and drug-free.</p> <p>Click <a href="">here</a> to read more...</p> <div> <h3><a href="">5-8 Year Olds</a></h3> </div> <div>5-to-8-year olds are still tied to family and eager to please but they’re also beginning to explore their individuality. In addition, your grade-schooler begins to spend more time at school and with peers and to collect information (including messages about drugs and alcohol) from lots of new places like the media and popular culture. It’s very important that you continue talking to your child about a healthy drug-free lifestyle and stress that of all the voices your child hears, yours should be the guiding force. </div> <div></div> <div></div> <div>Click <a href="">here</a> to read more...</div> <div></div> </div> <div> <h3><a href="">9-12 Year Olds</a></h3> <p>Preteens: They’re on a quest to figure out their place in the world. When it comes to the way they view that world, they tend to give their friends’ opinions a great deal of power while, at the same time, they’re starting to question their parents’ views and messages. Your advice may be challenged — but it will be heard and will stay with your child much more than he or she will ever admit.</p> <p></p> <p>Click <a href="">here</a> to read more...</p> </div> <div></div> <h3><a href="">13-15 Year Olds</a></h3> <p>For parents, this is a pivotal time in helping kids make positive choices when faced with drugs and alcohol. The average age kids try drugs for the first time is 13. If your child is 13, says Amelia Arria, senior scientist with Treatment Research Institute, you should assume that he or she has been offered drugs or alcohol. But you can help your teen stay healthy and drug-free — and beat the negative statistics about drug use among teens. Kids who learn about the risks of drugs from their parents are up to 50 percent less likely to use (2011 Partnership Attitude Tracking Study). So, most importantly, stay involved. Young teens may say they don't need your guidance, but they're much more open to it than they'll ever let on. Make sure you talk to them about their choices of friends — drug use in teens starts as a social behavior. </p> <p>Click <a href="">here</a> to read more...</p> <p></p> <p></p> <article class="post-38380 page type-page status-publish hentry"><section class="entry"> <h3><a href="">16-18 Year Olds</a></h3> <p>When it comes to drugs, teens are a savvy bunch. Drugs and messages about living drug-free have been part of their lives for years. They can make distinctions not only among different drugs and their effects, but also among trial, occasional use and addiction. They’ve witnessed many of their peers using drugs — some without obvious or immediate consequences, others whose drug use gets out of control. By the teen years, kids have also had to make plenty of choices of their own about drug use: whether they should give in to peer pressure and experiment with drugs, or go against some of their peers and stay clean. </p> <p>Click <a href="">here</a> to read more...</p> </section></article>Raising Healthy Eaters...From Preschool to High School2016-03-08T14:59:42+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p><em>Check out our list of<a href=""> Top Brain Friendly Foods for Kids</a>! </em></p> <p><span><br></span></p> <p><span>Food, nutrition and eating skills are among the most important things you can share with children — food to fuel busy, successful lives, nutrition to nourish strong bodies and smart brains, and eating skills to enjoy the social aspect of meals with family and friends. As with any part of raising children, no one does a perfect job with nutrition, not even nutrition professionals. As a parent, you can help raise healthy eaters during these critical years by doing your best to:</span></p> <ul> <li>Serve regular, balanced meals and snacks with a variety of nutrient-rich foods.</li> <li>Provide calm, pleasant meal times where adults and children can talk together.</li> <li>Allow children to use their internal signals to decide how much and what to eat.</li> <li>Explore a variety of flavors and foods from different cultures and cuisines.</li> <li>Share an appreciation for healthful food, lovingly prepared and shared with others.</li> <li>Teach basic skills for making positive food choices away from home.</li> </ul> <p>While this may seem like an intimidating list, two family habits go a long way in making this happen: </p> <h4><strong>Make Family Meal Times a Priority</strong></h4> <p>Sometimes a very simple act can have important, long-lasting benefits. According to parenting and health experts, that is exactly the case with family meal times. Eating and talking together helps:</p> <ul> <li>Foster family unity</li> <li>Prevent behavior problems at home and school</li> <li>Enhance academic success</li> <li>Improve nutrition</li> <li>Promote healthy weight for kids</li> </ul> <p>With that impressive list of benefits, it's worth making the time and effort to enjoy more family meal times each week. Look for easy ways to add just one family meal to the schedule. If evenings seem too hectic for family dinners, set aside time for a weekend breakfast or lunch. After a month or two of this new pattern, you can add another family meal each week. Before you know it, you will be eating together on most days.</p> <h4><strong>Get Kids Involved in Nutrition</strong></h4> <p>Every trip through the supermarket can be a nutrition lesson. Kids can learn to categorize food into groups: grains, fruits, vegetables, milk foods and meat/beans. They can choose new foods that they want to try on each trip. As children get older, they can help plan the menu at home and then pick out the foods to match the menu items while shopping.</p> <p>Nutrition is just one of many reasons to have a garden. The process of planting, watching over and harvesting a garden provides daily opportunities for children to learn valuable lessons and enjoy physical activity, while reaping the fruits (and vegetables) of their labor.</p> <p>(Article Provided by <a href="">Academy of Nutrition &amp; Dietetics</a>)</p>Your Child&#39;s Brain: What&#39;s Food Got To Do With It? 2016-02-26T14:10:01+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p><span style="">Organic, Non-GMO, Vegan,'s hard to know what's best in an age of overwhelming food options. But does what you feed your kids really affect their brains?</span></p> <p> </p> <p>Join Coronado SAFE on Monday, March 7th from 8:30 to 9:30am to find out how the decisions you make in the kitchen could affect your children in the classroom. Dr. Mary Anne Haskell, a board certified pediatrician, will provide tips on a brain healthy diet for all ages, how to keep your sanity while improving your family's diet, plus how food can help heal and manage ADHD, asthma, allergies and more! </p> <p> </p> <p><b>For more information on this free workshop, </b><a href="" target="_blank"><b>click here</b></a><b>.</b></p> <p>Mary Anne Haskell is a board certified pediatrician whose goal is to bring the best integrative and osteopathic medicine to children, adolescents and their families. She combines the knowledge of conventional medicine with the wisdom of holistic medicine. In practice for over 22 years, Dr. Mary Anne has extensive experience supporting parents in keeping their children healthy as well as treating common pediatric issues, developmental issues and a wide variety of neurological and genetic issues. <br> <br> This event is sponsored by Mullins Orthodontics.</p>Tools to Manage Stress2016-02-23T12:42:20+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<h3><span style=""><b><i>Tools to Manage Stress</i></b></span></h3> <p><span style=""><b><i></i></b></span><span style="">By Monique Reynolds, PhD and Georgia C. Ferrell</span></p> <p>We've all heard the list of stress management tools – <strong>exercise, good sleep, quality time with friends and loved ones, quiet relaxation.</strong> We dutifully add these tasks to our ever-growing to-do lists. The “shoulds” pile up and suddenly <em>managing </em>stress and being healthy starts to become <em>stressful</em>!</p> <p>Like most people, <span style="">I thrive on a little bit of stress. But there’s a fine line between being busy and being frenetic-and I often find myself crossing it. </span><strong style="">Even those things we consider to be “good” stress, like a new job, helping in a classroom or moving into a new house, can get overwhelming if not kept in balance. </strong><span style="">Having the awareness that I've crossed the line is just the first step. The solution is to </span><strong style="">slow down, prioritize my commitments </strong><span style="">and get back to a practice of stress management that works for me.</span></p> <p>Mentally, I shift into therapist mode and tick through a list of "Things That Work"– my own integration of research, personal awareness and experience over the years.</p> <p>I start with my<em> <strong>physical self </strong></em>and the quality of my last few meals and decide that granola bars and Valentine’s candy just aren’t cutting it as food. I need to add some protein and complex carbs to provide the fuel needed to manage my elevated stress hormones.</p> <p>I also know I need to get back to regular exercise. The scientist in me has known for a long time that <strong>exercise, <em>any </em>exercise, triggers the release of endorphins, reduces lingering stress hormones and over time, improves the immune functioning that is weakened with stress</strong>. In recent weeks I realize I’ve gotten off track and I can feel the consequences in my short fuse these days. I make it a priority to meet friends to walk or run and schedule workouts into my week, just like any other appointment.</p> <p>Moving beyond the physical to the <strong><em>social</em></strong>, I think about how I've dropped into my “nose to the grindstone” approach that is typical for me when I’m overly stressed. In doing so, I sacrifice the tremendous benefits that come with spending quality time with close friends and loved ones. An hour with a good friend, snuggling with my kids, or giving my husband a <em>real </em>hug has a profound effect on my mood. <strong>Those moments of connection trigger an increase in a hormone called oxytocin, which creates that warm glow feeling and stimulates the calming response in the nervous system</strong>. I mentally commit to stepping away from my to-do list long enough to reconnect with those friends and loved ones whose presence fills my soul.</p> <p>And finally, I focus on prioritizing my <strong><em>inner world</em></strong>. I know that practicing relaxation directly counters the stress response and reduces those negative stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol. There are so many ways to do this, a<strong> few minutes of meditating on the beach, a morning prayer, deep breathing or gratitude. </strong>It's less about what I choose to do and more about taking a few moments to calm my mind.</p> <p>As I look back at my list of "Things That Work," I start to smile because my body can almost feel those positive changes already. It's not an easy process, but each time I veer off course, it becomes easier to get back on track again. I remember that I’m a work in progress and choose to persevere.</p> <h4><span color="#e61919" style=""><b><i>Take the Challenge: </i></b></span><b style=""><i>How Can You Manage Stress? </i></b></h4> <p><strong>1. What's your stress management recipe?</strong></p> <p>Find something you love or pick one of the ideas above. Try different things until you find <em>your </em>recipe that works best for you. </p> <p><strong>2. Choose one practice that you know works for you and schedule it into your week- <em>every </em>week.</strong></p> <p><span color="#333333" style="">Enlist a partner to help keep you motivated and accountable. </span></p>The Practice of Self-Control By Monique Reynolds, Ph.D. and Georgia Ferrell2016-01-07T11:45:26+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p><span>Over the last few months, we’ve talked about the importance of developing awareness of our thoughts and emotions, especially the most difficult ones. That foundation of awareness sets the stage for developing your next skill: tolerating urges and practicing self-control.</span></p> <p>Last week, a young man was discussing sobriety. He had been in and out of rehab a number of times and talked about the hardest part of staying sober – THE URGES. Now truthfully, urges are a hard one for all of us. Whether the urge is to yell, to escape, to take a drink, to control, we often have urges that push us towards self-destructive behaviors. Resisting that urge and letting it pass seems unbearable.</p> <p>Learning to tolerate urges is not something that comes naturally for most people. Yet, when we feel those anxious, angry, or addictive urges, tolerating the urge instead of acting on it is a key component of practicing self-control. Self-control, sometimes called self-regulation, affects nearly all aspects of healthy living - eating right, exercising, avoiding drugs and alcohol, studying more, working harder, saving more and spending less. Without it people could be impulsive, overly-emotional, lashing out with anger, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind, and engaging in whatever behavior feels good in the moment.</p> <p>Decades of research has identified self-control as one of two main traits associated with a range of positive outcomes in life – financial success, career satisfaction, happiness, healthy relationships, etc. They have also found that self-control can be developed, much like a muscle. Understanding what happens biologically during these moments can help us tolerate the distress and build our self-control.</p> <p>Whenever an urge is triggered, our instinct is to act on that urge. In these moments, we are acting primarily from our limbic system, the brain system responsible for instinct, emotion and reward. It is what drives things like hunger and pleasure seeking. The prefrontal cortex, on the other hand, is the primary region associated with self-control and is responsible for planning and reasoning. This region is also responsible for processing raw emotions and basic urges from the limbic system. While the reaction from the limbic system is immediate, the processing through the prefrontal cortex can take a few additional moments. This is where self-control comes in. If you can pause during those urges, you allow your prefrontal cortex those critical few moments to reengage. At that point, rather than reacting to the immediate impulse, we can plan, evaluate alternatives, and refrain from doing things we would regret.</p> <p>So how do we tolerate the urges in order to pause long enough to get to that thoughtful moment? A practice of mindfulness seems to be one of the best tools we have. Mindfulness is the act of paying attention to the present moment, accepting it but not reacting to it with judgement or impulsive behavior. Being able to use this skill when it counts depends heavily on practice. Much like when working on a good baseball swing, you need continual, repetitive practice to ensure that your swing becomes second nature and that you’re ready to use it in the big game. Similarly, we practice being mindful in the simple moments so that we’re ready to face our biggest challenges when they arise.</p> <p><strong>Take the challenge:</strong></p> <p>Practice mindfulness when you’re NOT have a strong urge or craving. Spend 5 minutes each morning just sitting and focusing on your breath. When you notice an itch or another discomfort, observe it passively without acting on it. Instead, pay attention to how it feels and how the sensation changes with your awareness. The itch may grow or shrink, or it may change to a slow burn. You may notice thoughts, like “Just scratch the itch!!” Your task through each of these thoughts, sensations and urges, is to remain the observer. Do not take any action, just maintain your mindful awareness on your breath. You may notice that the urge to scratch becomes less compelling and your self-control “muscles” become stronger with each passing moment.</p> <p>For more information about mindfulness and self-control, check out our website at Join us next month as we build our Skills for Life.</p>That Little Voice Inside Your Head By Dr. Monique Reynolds, PhD and Georgia C. Ferrell 2015-10-29T13:15:26+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p align="center"></p> <p>Our thoughts wield a great deal of power over our emotions, our moods and ultimately our behavior.  Last month we talked about how important it is to recognize and acknowledge emotions as a first step in maintaining good emotional health.  Tuning into your thoughts is the next step. </p> <p>One of the most important lessons we can learn is that thoughts, emotions and behavior are intricately connected.  When we feel scared, we’re going to have scary thoughts.  Stewing on angry thoughts is going to bring on more feelings of anger and resentment.  Thoughts are subjective and can come and go depending on our mood, emotions and our situation.  In other words, that little voice in your head isn’t giving you “truth”, it’s giving you stories based on situations and memories that are connected to what you are already feeling. It’s creating stories to make sense of your feelings.  </p> <p><b>Thoughts are Subjective</b></p> <p>Most of the time, our thoughts are helpful.  They help us organize the world and interpret our relationships with others.   They scan for danger and keep us safe.  Sometimes, however, our thoughts make things more difficult.  Here’s an example:  Suppose you write an email updating your spouse on what’s going on back home while he or she is on a business trip or deployment.  You wait for the response…and wait…and wait.  And when the response comes, it’s a quick one liner, “Super busy.  All is well.  See you soon.” </p> <p>How might you respond to this email? Research tells us that our brains contain intricate webs of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that cluster together in easily accessed bundles.  That means that if your thoughts jump to “I’m never the priority in his/her life. Work always comes first”, you will probably feel resentment and anger and shoot off an angry email.  That little voice in your head will start to connect you with all the moments when you felt slighted by your partner, fueling your resentment and prompting more memories of being slighted.  All of a sudden, you’re lost in a sea of thoughts and emotions circling the same difficult moments again and again, stalling the process of problem solving and moving on. </p> <p><b>Bringing Awareness to Thoughts</b></p> <p>One of the best ways we can maintain our emotional health is to be aware of when we are stuck in a web of negative thoughts.  When we recognize that the little voice inside our heads is just the story we tell ourselves, we can start to break up those webs and focus on a situation with a fresh perspective.</p> <p><b>Take the Challenge</b></p> <ul> <li><i>Notice the difference between thoughts and emotions.</i> An emotion is a normal state of feeling.  Thoughts are the stories we tell ourselves to make sense of our emotions.  If we can assess the difference between a thought and feeling, we can avoid getting stuck in a web of negative thinking.<b></b></li> <li><i>Break up the thought pattern by using your five senses.</i><b> </b>When you feel caught up in that web, push yourself to take an action to break out.  Focus on what is really going on right NOW…the curve of the road, the words of a song playing in the background, the flavor of your meal, or the softness of a pet.  Developing this skill now will help you remain grounded when you’re being pulled into a web of negative thoughts.<b></b></li> </ul> <p>For more tips and tools on tuning into your thoughts, visit our website at <a href=""></a>.  And keep an eye out for our column next month as you build your <i>Skills for Life.  </i></p>&quot;I&#39;m Fine&quot; and Other Obstructions to Emotional Health2015-09-21T12:38:27+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p><strong>By Dr. Monique Reynolds and Georgia Ferrell</strong></p> <p>If you’ve seen the movie Inside Out, you get the take home message:  ALL of our emotions are important, not just the happy ones.  Though that may seem obvious, it’s easier said than done.   We cajole our kids to “be happy” when they’re feeling down.  We tense as we watch our children struggle with frustration.  Learning to live with these emotions is a habit we can develop and being aware of your emotions is the first step.</p> <p><b>Emotions are necessary</b></p> <p>On a very basic level, emotions help us survive.  Scientists have found that there are several basic emotions (See Brain Box) that are easily identified through facial expressions and body language.  In addition, there are several “moral” emotions that help us live as a social community, including shame, guilt, embarrassment and pride. </p> <p>In modern life, we are not often faced with primal dangers.  Being aware of our emotions allows us to make choices about our behavior, rather than reacting to instinctual urges.  Together with the reasoning part of our brain, we use these emotional clues to determine the best course of action in any situation. </p> <p></p> <p align="center"></p> <p align="center"><em><strong>BRAIN BOX</strong></em></p> <ul> <li><em><strong>Emotions are tied to automatic physiological changes in the body including facial expressions, heart rate, pupil dilation, hormone activation and changes in sensory perception. </strong></em></li> <li><em><strong>The function of a basic emotion is to motivate us to action.   </strong></em></li> </ul> <p><em><strong><span>Here are a few examples:</span></strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>Fear<span> prompts us to flee a danger.    </span></strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>Happiness keeps us on our course of action.</strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>Anger prepares us to fight a threat.  </strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>Sadness signals a need for help and connection.</strong></em></p> <p><b><br/></b></p> <p><b>When the “I’m Fine” syndrome blows up</b></p> <p>All too often, we ignore our emotions or convince ourselves that we shouldn’t feel this way.  Sometimes we overlook our emotions because we think they’re not important or we’re too busy.  We are “fine”, but just under the surface is all the resentment, grief, sadness and anger we’ve pushed aside.</p> <p>Despite our best efforts to be “fine”, we have leaks.  Our anger and sadness leak to the surface in sharp tones and words.  Our body language shows something is wrong though we insist otherwise, creating confusion and distance with those we love.  And sometimes, when something goes wrong, the surface breaks and all the pain and anger become visible in very hurtful ways.  The price of emotional denial is enormous – marriages end, careers fail, relationships are destroyed, lives are lost... </p> <p><b>Take the challenge</b></p> <p><a href="/static/media/uploads/photo%20images/650_feelings-wheel-color.jpg"><b><img height="100" src="/static/media/uploads/photo images/.thumbnails/650_feelings-wheel-color.jpg/650_feelings-wheel-color-100x100.jpg" style="vertical-align: middle;" width="100"/></b></a></p> <p>In next month’s article, we will talk more about moments when things get overwhelming and how to accept our toughest emotions.  The first step in this process is being aware of what you feel.  Here are a few tips to practice emotional awareness:</p> <ol> <li>BUILD YOUR EMOTIONAL VOCABULARY:  Print out the Feelings Wheel from our website (<a href=""></a>) and practice being precise as you notice your emotion.</li> </ol> <p>     <i>2. </i><span>BE AN OBSERVER:  Like a newspaper reporter, notice what you’re feeling without judging it or giving it extra      meaning – Just the Facts.  Naming the emotion can give it space to exist and reduce its intensity.  </span></p> <p><span></span><span>For more tips on emotional awareness, visit us at </span><a href=""></a><span>.  And keep an eye out for our column next month as you build your </span><i>Skills for Life.  </i></p>Skills For Life: Introduction 2015-08-26T10:05:57+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p><b>Skills For Life</b></p> <p><br> A new monthly column by Coronado SAFE</p> <p>Social-emotional intelligence is a key leadership skill and a critical component of success.  Articles touting the importance of emotional intelligence are popping up in the Harvard Business Review, the Wall Street Journal, and most major financial news sources.  Top business schools like Stanford and Yale are incorporating emotional intelligence assessments into their admissions process and offering coursework in developing critical emotional intelligence skills. </p> <p>When people lack core social-emotional skills, there is an increase in depression, anxiety, substance abuse and suicide. College students today are leaving school, not because they are academically incapable, but because they are emotionally unprepared to handle the demands of college life.  Suicide is the third leading cause of death in adolescents and young adults. Healthy social emotional skills not only propel us to success but protect us from distress.</p> <p>Can you recall someone who is incredibly smart or talented yet lacks the resilience to persevere through disappointments and failures?  Or maybe someone who started out in the middle of the pack, only to emerge as the top dog due to determination and “people skills”?  Clearly, as we prepare our children for their futures, we need to consider not only their performance, but their ability to handle failure, negotiate with life’s difficulties, and connect with others in a way that is more authentic than social media and online profiles. </p> <p>Join us right here in the Eagle &amp; Journal, for Coronado SAFE’s new monthly <i>Skills for Life </i>column that will address these very issues. These articles will discuss the core social and emotional skills that we all need, like understanding emotions, managing overwhelming situations, developing empathy and cooperation, relying on internal motivation, making healthy choices, negotiating conflict and building networks of support.  These are also the skills we will be teaching the kids and teens throughout our student-enrichment programs.  As parents, grandparents, neighbors and friends, you are the primary model and support for the social-emotional development of our youth.  Coronado SAFE and our coalition of community partners hope to support you in those efforts and work together to set our youth on a course for success long after they leave the schoolyard. </p> <p>Coronado SAFE is a small non-profit that has been active in Coronado for over 16 years. S.A.F.E. which stands for Student And Family Enrichment was originally focused on substance abuse. Over the years the organization has evolved to address the underlying issues of not only substance abuse, but also suicide, anxiety and depression. Coronado SAFE has become a trusted resource in social and emotional health in the community. Leaders of Coronado, like City Council Members, the Police Chief, the Superintendant of CUSD, and Principals from both the public and private schools, along with parent leaders come together at the monthly SAFE Coalition meetings to collaborate on the most effective programs (go to <a href=""></a> <span>for a full list of the SAFE Coalition members). SAFE’s <a href="">Annual Parenting Conference,</a> monthly <a href="">Coffee Talks,</a> and on-line resources offer parents tips and tools as they navigate each new stage of parenting challenges.  SAFE’s on-campus programs, clubs, and workshops give students skills and support as they chart their course through a fast-moving world.  For those who need that extra support during times of transition and difficulty, SAFE’s child and family therapists are available.</span></p> <p>So keep an eye out for Coronado SAFE and its new leaders as we embark on the 2015-16 year with vigor. Georgia Ferrell, a long-time Coronado resident and graduate of CHS, is our new Executive Director.  She has been with SAFE since early 2014 and brings with her a background in public health and business administration. Her vision and ability to deepen partnerships and collaborative efforts will take Coronado SAFE to the next level. Dr. Monique Reynolds has recently joined Coronado SAFE as the Director of Programs.  She holds a PhD in Clinical Psychology and brings with her a wealth of content expertise in emotional health and well-being. Check out our website to meet all of our staff and Board of Directors, and to find more information about our programs, how you can volunteer, donate or become a partner.  For those of you on social media, don’t forget to like us on<a href=""> Facebook</a> and stay connected. You can reach Coronado SAFE at our office at 1009 C Ave., by phone 619-522-6884 through email <a href=""></a>, or on-line at</p>Signs That a Child and Family Need Help2015-06-23T14:52:11+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p>It's not always easy to ask for help, and most of the time, those who need it are the least likely to do so. The following list points out risk factors and behaviors that are signs that a child or family needs help. If you know of someone that is at potential risk, seek out help as soon as possible.</p> <p>Coronado SAFE offers no-cost counseling to students and families in Coronado. If you would like to set-up an appointment with a counseler you can do so by <a href="">CLICKING HERE</a> or calling us at 619-522-6884 ext.3#.</p> <p>To learn more about the programs and services that Coronado SAFE offers,<a href=""> CLICK HERE</a>. </p> <p><br><br></p> <h3>Risk Factors and Behaviors: Signs That a Child and Family Need Help</h3> <ol class="topic-page2"> <li>Any disruptions in first-year-of-life bonding and attachment</li> <li>Lack of guilt or genuine remorse when child hurts others</li> <li>Fire setting and other destructive behavior</li> <li>Cruelty to animals</li> <li>Chronic arguing with parents, teachers, and other authority figures</li> <li>Lack of positive friendships with same-age peers</li> <li>Hyperactivity</li> <li>Perceives self as a victim</li> <li>Chronic refusal to do chores</li> <li>Hoarding of uneaten food</li> <li>Outbursts of severe anger when adults set and enforce limits</li> <li>Encopresis and/or enuresis</li> <li>Chronic lying in the face of the obvious</li> <li>Suicidal or homicidal statements (Take all of these seriously!)</li> <li>Abusive, violent parents</li> <li>Parents who belong to gangs</li> <li>Tobacco and other drug use, as well as association with peers who use these substances</li> <li>Obsession with violent movies, music, video games, internet sites, etc.</li> <li>Violent, gory, or suicidal content in drawings, school writing assignments, etc.</li> </ol> <p><strong>Children who display one or more of these characteristics…</strong></p> <ul class="topic-page"> <li>should be closely supervised</li> <li>need their parents to remove weapons and other dangerous items from the home</li> <li>are screaming out for love, limits, and professional help</li> </ul> <p style=""><em>This article is brought to you by Dr. Charles Fay - published in <a href="">Love and Logic</a>. </em></p>Screen Free Week! 2015-05-06T10:52:51+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p class="post-title page-title"><em>published by <a href="">Screen Free Week</a></em></p> <p><em>"I saw my 9-year-old daughter laying on the floor, just day dreaming. I immediately thought, 'Oh no, she is bored, maybe she could...' then I stopped myself and just let her lay there. She wasn't bored, just deep in thought. We dont always have to be doing something!"</em> - parent speaking about being screen-free</p> <div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden view-mode-full"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p><strong>May 5-11: Screen-Free Week Everywhere<br></strong></p> <p>From California to New York—and places in between, organizers planned fun screen-free events. There was family fort building in Morton Grove, IL, live music after school in Montpelier, VT, and an evening of family friendly activities including 4-square, kickball, board games, gardening, and dancing in Bismarck, ND. Communities such as Irving, TX, Cambridge, MA, and Muscatine, IA hosted a screen-free event each day of the week.</p> <p>Internationally, students in Brazil celebrated “Semana Sem Telas”; events were held in Australia, Canada, and the UK; and a <a href="">mom in Singapore blogged</a> about going screen-free with her family for the second year in a row.</p> <p><strong>Some of the things others enjoyed doing most during Screen-Free Week</strong></p> <ul> <li><span>Playing in the woods, picking dandelions, and gardening</span></li> <li><span>Working on a sewing project</span></li> <li><span>Remembering what it’s like to feel technology-free and enjoying the simple pleasures</span></li> <li><span>Going to farmers’ markets</span></li> <li><span>Reading outside </span></li> <li><span>Family Game Night</span></li> <li><span>Telling old spooky ghost stories under the covers</span></li> <li><span>Reading outside</span></li> <li><span>Using our imaginations!</span></li> </ul> <p><strong>Making It Last</strong></p> <p>Screen-Free Week isn’t just about snubbing screens for seven days; it’s a springboard for important lifestyle changes that will improve well-being and quality of life all year round. If the week inspired you to make reducing screen time an ongoing reality, check out these resources and handouts:</p> <ol> <li><a target="_blank" href="">10 Steps to Screen-Proofing Our Homes</a>—From rearranging the furniture to setting limits, simple steps you can take to make your home less screen-centric.</li> <li><a target="_blank" href="">Family Meals: Let’s Bring Them Back</a>—Why screen-free meals are so important.</li> <li><a target="_blank" href="">Working With Your School to Reduce Screen Time</a>—What schools can do, from turning off Channel One to making reducing screen time a wellness priority.</li> <li><a target="_blank" href="">Tips for Families on Limiting Screen Time</a>—Facts and tips for limiting screen time from Kaiser Permanente.</li> <li><a target="_blank" href="">Helping Babies Entertain Themselves Screen-Free: An Introduction</a>—Screen-free ideas that encourage independent play!</li> <li><a target="_blank" href="">3 brand-new “Play Plans”</a> —Fun and easy springtime activities for the whole family from TRUCE (Teachers Resisting Unhealthy Children’s Entertainment).</li> </ol> <p><strong>Make sure you check out Screen-Free Week's website in order to learn more!</strong> <a href="">CLICK HERE</a></p> </div> </div> </div>Mapping Out Our Minds 2015-04-16T10:43:03+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p>April 2015</p> <p>Although we missed Brad at this month's Coffee Talk, we had an amazing speaker, Dr. Monique Reynolds, step in to present how mindfulness can truly produce positive effects on the body and brain. More and more people are turning to mindfulness everyday, and the results have been phenomenal.</p> <p><strong>Mapping out our minds:</strong></p> <p>When you first move into a neighborhood, what do you do? Perhaps you take a walk down the block in order to get to know the area or perhaps you go and visit the neighbors in order to begin connecting to the community. Whichever way you approach it, the fact is that you try, in some way, to map out your new home. While this may seem obvious, when we take a look at how much time we spend inside our own minds, the difference is quite shocking. While we spend every day and night with our minds, we don't take much time to really figure out what's going on in there. Being able to understand how your mind works and taking the time to really focus our attention into ourselves will make a huge difference in your life and relationships. </p> <p><strong>Practicing focused attention on our inner world will help us:  </strong><b></b></p> <ul> <li>Cope with day to day stress without feeling burned out and overwhelmed</li> <li>Change stuck relationship patterns with partners and children</li> <li>Develop compassion for our own struggles and the struggles of others</li> <li>Pay attention – the easiest and hardest job of parenting </li> </ul> <div><br>Dr. Monique Reynolds presented a simple hand-model that you and your family can utilize to visually learn and discuss how to re-engage critical thinking and reasoning in high emotional situations. This model represents the brain, and how we "flip our lids" when we are thinking though only our emotions. Make sure you and your family check out this video below: <br><br> <p><iframe src="" allowfullscreen="" width="560" height="315"></iframe></p> <div></div> <p>When we “flip our lids”, we can use mindfulness tools and reconnect to our thinking brain to help us be flexible, creative and find new solutions using our WHOLE brains. Next time you, your spouse, or your child, find yourselves in a high emotional situation, take a little bit of time to re-engage your frontal cortex before continuing the conversation (take a jog around the block, sit and meditate, etc.). </p> <p>______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________</p> <p><b>Tools to Be Mindful</b></p> <p><b><i>Take 5 :</i></b><span>Close your eyes for a moment and try to identify 5 sounds around you. </span></p> <p><b><i>7-11 Breathing: </i></b><span>Breathe in for 7 counts and out for 11 counts.  Do this 5 times.  This relaxes your nervous system and allows your front brain to reengage. </span></p> <p><b><i>SIFT – Sensations, Images, Feelings, Thoughts </i></b><b><i>*</i></b><b>adapted from<i> Mindsight: </i></b><span>Spend a few moments exploring your mind.  Notice what sensations you have, then notice what images may be in your mind, then notice what feelings you may have at the moment and then notice what thoughts are in your mind. </span></p> <p><b>Breathing Awareness: </b><span>Spend 10 minutes with your mind focused on your breath.  You can imagine the breath flowing and in and out, you can focus on the sensation of the breath, or you can count your breathing in and out - whichever method is the most helpful for you to keep your awareness on your breath.  When your mind wanders, as it WILL, just notice what took your attention and return your awareness to your breath.  As you “take your mind on a walk” in this way, you are developing the skill of focused awareness and learning to let go of distractions, both large and small. </span></p> <p>______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________</p> <h2><strong>Resources:</strong></h2> <p><span><strong>Videos &amp; Audio</strong></span></p> <p><a href="">Dan Siegel - Mindfulness and Neural Integration</a></p> <p><a href="">Teens talking about mindfulness </a></p> <p><a href="%20">Daniel Goleman on Breathing Buddies </a></p> <p><a href="">Mindfulness Exercises for Kids </a></p> <p><a href="">Guided Audio Meditations from Center for Mindfulness at UCSD</a> </p> <p><span><strong>Books</strong></span></p> <p><a target="_blank" href="">Sitting Still Like a Frog</a>: Mindfulness Exercises for Kids (and their Parents), by Eline Snel</p> <p><a href="">The Mindful Teen</a>: Powerful Skills to Help you Handle Stress One Moment at a Time, by D.X. Vo</p> <p><a href="">Emotional Alchemy</a>: How the Mind Can Heal the Heart, by Tara Bennett-Goleman</p> <p></p> <p><strong><span style="">About our speaker</span></strong></p> <p>Dr. Monique Reynolds conducts individual coaching sessions tailored to the needs of each family.  Common issues addressed in coaching sessions include developing self-awareness, improving emotion-focused coping, behavior management, communication, life transitions, family routines, and co-parenting.  Dr. Reynolds is also available as a speaker on a range of topics related to parenting and developing individual self-awareness.  </p> <p>Monique Reynolds has over 12 years of experience working with kids and families and has a Ph.D in Clinical Child Psychology. Being in a navy family, she has provided training to parent groups and professionals throughout the country on behavior management strategies, communicationg with teens, psychological first aid, and academic and behavioral interventions.</p> <p>For more information or inquiries, you can reach Monique Reynolds, Ph.D. at </p> </div>Stranger Safety2015-04-13T15:38:53+00:00coronadosafe/blog/author/coronadosafe/<p>Join us for our Coffee Talk on May 18th on Stranger Safety for your child: <a href="">CLICK HERE</a></p> <p>Recent events have reminded us how critical it is to teach our kids Stranger Safety. The term <b>"Stranger Safety" rather than "Stranger Danger"</b> is purposely used in order to lessen kids' anxiety towards others. Practicing Stranger Safety will increase their ability to effectively and confidently enjoy being out in the world without fear. When children are without adult protection, they need to know how to stay safe both with strangers and with people they know. Most people in the world around us are strangers, and most of these strangers are good people - knowing how to identify danger is the first step to staying safe. You can help prepare your child with the following tips and resources.</p> <p><b>Teach your kids to:</b></p> <ul> <li>Never talk to a stranger (do not even say "no, no thank you" as that gives the stranger an opening)</li> <li>Never go anywhere with a stranger or get in their car</li> <li>Never take anything from a stranger, no matter how tempting it is (games, candy, puppies)</li> <li>Never open the door for a stranger</li> <li>Have a CODE word with you and those who are safe contacts (i.e. if someone else is picking up your child from school, let them know the CODE word so that your child will know that they are safe).</li> <li>Memorize his/her phone number &amp; address (you would be surprised how many children do not know this)</li> <li>Immediately seek help from a worker or authority figure if lost. Teach your child to stay in one spot if you are separated- they are more likely to stay lost if they go looking for you</li> <li>Stay away from any person or car that is following you or seems to be following you</li> </ul> <p><b>Remember: Do not EVER put your child's name, phone number, or address in plain view where anyone can see it </b>(i.e. outside of their backpack or clothing).</p> <p>For a <strong>simple guideline</strong> on how to talk to your child about Stranger Safety, click on the PDFs below:</p> <p><a href="" target="_blank"><img height="155" src="/static/media/uploads/Documents/.thumbnails/stranger_awareness.jpg/stranger_awareness-200x155.jpg" width="200">             </img></a><a href="" target="_blank"><img height="151" src="/static/media/uploads/Program Images/.thumbnails/stranger_awarness.jpg/stranger_awarness-115x151.jpg" width="115"/></a></p> <p><b>Staying Safe Online</b></p> <p>Technology and online access has grown significantly in the past decade, and while these provide certain advantages, it is also very important to be aware of the dangers and threats it poses as well. Even though your child may be physically at home, who they are talking to on their phones, computers, and tablets could potentially lead to danger. Make sure you teach your kid to:</p> <ul> <li>Never give out personal information online or talk to people you do not know</li> <li>Never send any photos or personal pictures to a stranger online</li> <li>Never agree to meet someone in person that they have met online - unless approved by parents and with parent supervision in a public place</li> </ul> <p>Learning how to use technology responsibly is a huge issue many families are facing today. <b>To learn more about responsible use of technology and online games/social media, </b><a href=""><b>CLICK HERE.</b></a></p> <p>_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________</p> <p>Stranger Safety is taught through SAFE's "<b>On Applebee Pond</b>" program at 8 sites throughout Coronado: Crown Preschool, Early Childhood Development Center, Village Elementary School, Silver Strand Elementary School, Christ Church Day School, Sacred Heart Parish School, Southern Baptist Church Preschool, and Sandpiper Montessori School. On Applebee Pond, <b>proudly sponsored by the Coronado Optimist Club</b>, is a creative and unique educational life-skills program that engages kids in age-appropriate lessons through visual puppetry. Students are taken through real-life scenarios (such as a stranger asking them to get in their car) and learn how to react appropriately in those situations. </p> <p><b>Find below a list of resources that are devoted to the safety of children in a variety of settings:</b></p> <ul> <li><a href="">National Center for Missing &amp; Exploited Children</a></li> <li><a href="">The national Crime Prevention Council</a></li> <li><a href="">The national Cyber Security Alliance: Stay Safe Online</a></li> <li><a href="">Kidpower</a></li> <li><a href="">Cyber Tipline</a></li> <li><a href="">iKeepSafe: Internet Safety Coalition </a></li> </ul>