Tags: This | Whole | 'Racial | Profiling' | Nonsense | Getting | Rather

This Whole 'Racial Profiling' Nonsense Is Getting Rather Old

Friday, 04 January 2002 12:00 AM

This seems to be the big story right now. Some Secret Service agent was kept off an American Airlines flight from Baltimore/Washington to Dallas, Texas, because the captain wasn't satisfied with his credentials. Now the agent and his attorney, John Relman, are saying that the agent was the victim of racial and ethnic profiling.

What a crock.

Look, I'm going to approach this thing from a different angle. Let's imagine – not making a charge here, just creating a hypothetical situation – let's imagine that this man WAS a terrorist and the captain DID allow him on the airplane.

Let's then imagine that just before this aircraft arrives in Dallas the terrorist pulls out the gun he's carrying, shoots and kills a flight attendant and tries to rush the cockpit. His intention is to take over the airplane and fly it to Crawford, Texas, where the president is staying. He's going to try to slam the airplane into the president's residence.

We'll finish out our hypothetical situation this way: The passengers rush the terrorist and subdue him. The captain lands safely in Dallas.

Then – here come the media.

The media want answers to questions. So does the family of the dead flight attendant. So do the passengers who almost died in a terrorist suicide crash. They want to know how in the world a responsible airline captain could possibly allow a man of Middle Eastern descent to identify himself as a Secret Service agent and board an airliner with a gun after failing three attempts to fill out the necessary forms correctly!

They want to know how this captain could possibly be so careless on a day, Christmas Day, when a terrorist attack would have a heightened impact – and during a time of high alert for terrorism activity.

Have you heard this agent's attorney? He says, "The presumption should have been that he is an agent and that he should be allowed to get where he's going."

Is he kidding?

Here's a man with a gun who, according to the captain, is acting in a belligerent manner, who submits a smudged carbon copy of his paperwork instead of the required original, who fails in two subsequent attempts to fill out the required paperwork correctly, who is boarding a flight headed in the general direction of the present location of the president of the United States, who is flying on a day when security forces are on maximum alert for terrorist activity and who is of Middle Eastern descent – and this lawyer says the captain should have "presumed" that he was who he said he was?

"But wait!" says the attorney. "He gave the pilot a number to call to verify that he was who he said he was." Really! So what? Can we blame the captain for thinking that if this man was who he said he was, he would at least be able to fill out the required paperwork correctly?

And a phone number? How does the captain know that this phone number is genuine? How can he be sure that whoever answers that phone is not actually someone acting in concert with a terrorist?

The captain is supposed to allow someone with a gun on a commercial flight because someone he doesn't know on the other end of a telephone tells him that everything's OK?

Then the attorney tells us that this agent was cleared "... by three Maryland Transportation Authority police officers at three separate security checkpoints before boarding Flight 363."

Oh, wow! Well! That settles it, doesn't it? That was certainly good enough in Boston and Dulles, wasn't it? Those hijackers – all 19 of them – were cleared by the airport security folks before they got on the flights they hijacked. Yeah, that makes us feel real secure.

The bottom line is that this captain had the ultimate responsibility for the flight and the safety of his passengers. Here's a man with a gun who claims to be a Secret Service agent who wants to board the flight. He can't fill out his paperwork correctly. He's belligerent. He's anxious and nervous. He's of Middle Eastern descent. There's an increased security alert in effect. What's the captain to do?

Ask yourself this question. You're on this same flight. The captain comes on the intercom and delivers the following announcement:

Last night I saw our old buddy Doug Hattaway on FNC's Hannity & Colmes. This time last year Doug was THE spokesman for the Gore/Lieberman campaign. These days he's listed as a "Democratic Party Strategist."

But old Doug is as easy to read as a cheap sex novel. He repeated the standard Democratic line that President Bush is doing a marvelous job in the war and in foreign policy, but he is really aloof when it comes to domestic issues – especially the economy (and the "Bush recession") – and since Bush "didn't receive the popular vote," he was crippled by having no mandate to govern as he saw fit (never mind that there were enough uncounted votes nationwide to have potentially given him the popular vote).

He announced that Tom Daschle will give a speech today in which he'll say that America needs "a real economic policy based on fiscal responsibility," as opposed to Bush's tax cuts. According to Hattaway, three-fourths of the surplus that Bill Clinton left has been eaten up by the reckless and needlessly large Bush tax cuts.

When asked if the Democrats' alternative didn't mean a tax increase for somebody, he said that the Democrats would offer "a real economic policy based on fiscal responsibility."

Pressed further ... Doug, isn't the opposite of tax cuts tax increases? No, it's "a real economic policy based on fiscal responsibility."

I know that most of my listeners are intelligent enough to realize what's going on. The Dems started their current strategy a few weeks ago.

It's similar to what they did to Bush's father. They will preface every statement by saying that the president is doing a wonderful job on the war and with foreign policy (remember what they said about his foreign policy potential during the campaign?), but that he is completely inept on domestic issues – especially the economy.

They will blame the recession on his needlessly high tax cuts (although the tax cuts were miniscule). They will repeat the mantra that we need "a real economic policy based on fiscal responsibility."

They will use their typical smoke and mirrors and rhetoric and mindless phrases, and talk about deficits and how bad the economy is, and the media will never call them on it or ask them to explain, and if the economy doesn't recover before the fall, they will succeed.

And I don't even want to contemplate what damage they will do if they win back the House and keep the Senate. The new political year has started and the Democrats are about to reach into their wrestling trunks and throw salt in the eyes of the Republicans while the referee's back is turned.

And we'll end up with "a real economic policy based on fiscal responsibility."

Break out the KY.

Genetic modification is a scary subject for many, but like most scientific achievements, it can be used in good ways or bad. Nuclear power can be used to make steam and generate electricity, or it can be used to level cities and destroy populations.

Now British doctors are testing a genetically modified virus that will seek out only cancer cells and destroy them. The potential value (besides killing the cancer) is few-to-no side effects.

The value as an alternative to chemo and radiation treatments is obvious. It might also be able to eliminate many cancers that are often inoperable, i.e., brain cancer, lung cancer, etc. Let's hope this one turns out to be successful.

Oh, man! Sometimes I have trouble typing up these notes for you people because I can't see through the tears from laughing so hard, or because my sides are splitting. This is one of those times.

Karen Davis, Ph.D., is president of a group called United Poultry Concerns. Who are they, you ask? Well, their website states "We are dedicated to the making of a future in which every chicken, turkey and duck has a voice that is heard" (she doesn't mention AFLAC) and "We invite the public to visit us and see what a chicken can be when a chicken is free!"

Yes, one can only try to imagine the contributions that a truly free chicken could make to society.



After weeks of bombing, the U.S. military has a new plan to capture Osama bin Laden. They're running a Personals ad in several Afghan newspapers.

"Quite frankly, we're betting he's as horny as a marching band," said one high-ranking CIA source.

The ad reads "READY TO DO SOME EVIL? Hot, slender thirty something single female megalomaniac looking for tall, skeletal globe-threatening madman to share the good life: hiding in caves, making spooky videos, and jihad! No smokers, please."

This guy is good ... Borowitz ... not to be confused with Boortz. http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=140

Remember the agriculture bill that Tom Daschle tried his best to get passed before the congressional Christmas recess? The bill included lots-o-loot in the form of subsidies for farmers (particularly in Daschle's state of South Dakota).

A fact that isn't well-known is that the bill also included a provision that would exclude many subsidy payoffs from the Freedom of Information Act. That would prevent word from getting out that "farmers" such as Scottie Pippin ($18 million-a-year NBA player), Ted Turner, Sam Donaldson and David Rockefeller were receiving large sums of money from the Imperial Federal Government to "not grow" crops on their "farms."

Under the provision, such information would become literally state secrets, preventing such politically embarrassing information from ever seeing the light of day.

You can bet that if he was ever confronted on the issue by reporters (yeah, right), the Daschelizer would convince the media that it was done "for the children" or else "was a necessary measure against the war on terror."

And by November, most voters would be buying it.

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This seems to be the big story right now.Some Secret Service agent was kept off an American Airlines flight from Baltimore/Washington to Dallas, Texas, because the captain wasn't satisfied with his credentials.Now the agent and his attorney, John Relman,are saying that...
Friday, 04 January 2002 12:00 AM
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