When You Realize You Are Clueless When It Comes To Understanding Men In 2018


Since I was a young girl I have always been a curious person. I would always ask a lot of questions and the answers would influence how I felt about certain things. In particular, my experience with relationships has had a significant influence in who I am as a person today. I learned things about myself that I otherwise would not have learned had I not ventured full scale into the world of dating.

But what do we really know about dating at age 25? If you asked me a few months ago I probably would have confidently told you, “I know it all.” At that point I had been in a few serious relationships, none that had worked out but I felt that I learned a thing or two. But after being dumped by my last boyfriend I realized there was a lot that I seriously was clueless about. I did not see the red flags most women saw when someone is about to dump them. I was shocked, hurt, confused, and left to figure it out. I had so many questions about why things didn’t work out. Was it me? Was it him? Was it timing? Why the hell didn’t we “work”? My curiosity about men’s behavior started to consume me and prompted me to start having conversations with different friends and strangers about what they think about dating in your mid twenties, the good, the bad, and the ugly. As I started having these conversations it became very clear that I was indeed far from the expert.

Being a woman in a mans world is hard, we are constantly judged for vocalizing our thoughts in a public way, that was until this past year when our women’s movement began. Prior to this we were shamed for speaking our minds, especially if it was in a raw and vulgar way. I decided it was time to use my voice as a way to break the norm of conversation from the standards we used to abide by. I am by no means a celebrity, insta-famous, or a socialite. I am simply a curious woman who is ready to break down the walls. I created a podcast called He Said What where I started interviewing different men and women about dating, sex, and relationship experience.

It baffles me sometimes how different the world was 20 years ago compared to today. The idea that we live in a social media age is overplayed but unlike most views on this topic, I think that it has in fact had a positive effect on society. I myself have fell in love, had my heart broken and discovered truths I wouldn’t have discovered had it not been for social media. Think, 20 years ago it was much easier for people to mask their true intentions but no longer. Your digital footprint tells your story for all to see. I suppose my expressive and curious nature stems from my aggressive personality. Men are often taken back by my willingness to talk about the dirty laundry without so much as a flinch. I find that with social media bringing out human expression to a higher baseline than the world has ever been accustomed to before, any expression beyond this is genuine.

My goal is to express myself in a genuine way. While social media is a great medium for expression and has in fact been positive for people to find this happy medium, for me it is not enough. My personality will not allow me to be satisfied with what is currently available. After being through thick and thin, I think it is important to be truly comfortable with who you are. We are always growing but often times we find ourselves having to hold back due to societal pressure. I have never held back in any aspect of my life (you can thank my parents for that) and because of this notion, it is important to take a deeper step to discover truly who we are as people. Once we know who we are and are comfortable with who we are, then we can really make truly lasting connections without all the fluff. After my experiences in college and as a young professional, the best people I know are those who I have made a genuine connection with not holding anything back.

My inquisitive nature led me to ask myself questions about what it means to be happy and how do people find happiness. Then, I noticed that the happiest people aren’t those with the most money as most would think but rather those who know who they are as people and are comfortable with themselves to make connections with others, fall in love, start a life etc. I connected the dots and realized that I have to spread a new message. I was inspired to create a forum of expression for sex and dating in the form of a podcast where people could feel truly comfortable, genuine and discover new things about themselves. There is no reason to hold back any longer, lets discuss and discover new truths about ourselves. He Said What is the vehicle of self exploration we can all benefit from.

Leave a Comment