Searching For The Right Words To Use When Firing Someone? Deutsche Bank's Got A Script For That

Don't "become involved in a detailed discussion of the facts".
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As anyone who's ever fired an employee knows, the exercise, while painful for the person being fired, can be just as bad if not worse for the person doing the firing. Or, if not worse, than more awkward. You fumble around for the right words, you try not to make eye contact, you worry that there will be tears or a physical confrontation. Is it better to tap them on the shoulder, act like everything is peachy, ask if you can grab them for "just a quick" sec and then drop the bomb? Or to right up front say "I need talk to you in the conference room and it's not going to be good"? Do you bring a box of tissues? Do you let HR do the talking? These questions and more need to be answer when you've been assigned the unenviable task of telling someone to take a long lunch and not come back to the office, ever. Luckily, Deutsche Bank has provided a primer on how to ax someone with as little friction on the fire-er's end as possible.

Step one, dial the employee's phone number. What, you thought this was going to be a face to face thing?

“Thank you for making yourself available for this call today,” reads the first line of a two-page draft script obtained by Bloomberg News that was used to fire at least one trader caught up in the Libor scandal. The niceties quickly fall away. “We have decided that your employment agreement should be terminated with immediate effect by reason of your gross misconduct, which in the opinion of the bank is serious enough to prejudice the business and reputation of the bank,” the speaker would continue. “Your dismissal will be effective immediately and you will not be entitled to any period of notice or payment in lieu of notice.”

Things can either end there, or if you've got a fighter, escalate slightly. Happily, Deutsche Bank's got a response for whatever curveballs/"How the f*ck are you just going to fire me over the phone"-type questions that might come your way.

The scripts also include a list of suggested responses to a trader in the process of losing his job. The primer advises the speaker not to “become involved in a detailed discussion of the facts” surrounding the basis for the termination. “You may just simply wish to say: ‘We appreciate the points that you are making but can assure you that the Bank has thoroughly reviewed the available evidence and has now reached a conclusion.” And if the employee complains the bank hasn’t followed the “usual disciplinary process” -- there’s an answer for that too. “In the light of your interviews and the documents which have been discovered, we have reached the conclusion that your conduct does amount to gross misconduct and thus the appropriate course of action is to dismiss you immediately,” the speaker should say. “We do not think that any further hearings would alter that conclusion.”

Don't say the Germans and their famed efficiency never did anything for you!

Document Reveals How Deutsche Bank Fires Traders With a ‘Thank You’ [Bloomberg]


Clawbacks Watch '12: Deutsche Bank


If You Think You Were Unfairly Fired From Your Banking Job And Work In The UK, You've Got Two Options

1. Get over it. 2. Get over it. UK judges couldn't give less of a fuck. Fired bankers suing for unfair dismissal and unpaid bonuses have found little success at London’s specialty employment courts as continuing anger over the financial crisis has left judges unsympathetic. The adverse decisions from the U.K. Employment Tribunal come after London bankers had a run of legal successes with courts ruling they were entitled to large bonuses written into contracts before the economic downturn. The latest round of cases have largely been based instead on wrongful termination, where the banks have been able to make stronger arguments. A former JPMorgan Chase banker, fired for mispricing aluminum trades, discovered the new reality the hard way Oct. 17, when a London judge threw out his suit for not properly explaining how “a large number of errors” he made benefited his trading book by about $400,000. Other claims tossed this year involved securities manipulation and threats from colleagues. “In the current climate there is little sympathy for bankers,” said Andreas White, an employment lawyer at Kingsley Napley LLP in London. “Banking is the only industry where claimant employees are even less popular” than their bosses. Fired Bankers’ Lawsuits Fail as Judges Tire of Bonus Claims [Bloomberg]

Layoffs Watch '12: Deutsche Bank

The Germans are not yet done firing employees in Asia. Deutsche Bank fired around a third of the staff in its Asia equity derivatives business on Tuesday, as part of a global cost savings plan announced on July 31, according to sources familiar with the matter. Just over 20 people remain in the division, down from a number in the mid 30s, according to one source, as Deutsche Bank and others seek to cut costs in businesses that are failing to generate adequate revenues as the global economy slows. The bank let go five traders, four product structurers and at least one salesperson from the division, the sources said, adding that the numbers were not yet finalised because the discussions were continuing...These cuts follow on the heels of layoffs in June in Deutsche Bank's Asian equities business, which like its counterparts at other firms globally has been struggling this summer due to slack trading volumes and a sharp decline in new share issuance. Deutsche Bank cuts a third of jobs in Asia equity derivs [Reuters]

