November 16, 2017

1 year back

A year ago, Scott came back from deployment #3 to Afghanistan, and deployment #4 out of 5 total over the last 8 years. I came across this quote ^ on Pinterest a few weeks ago and it is the truest group of words I've seen, as much quotes/words can relate to deployment. While deployments these days aren't always a year or more the way they once were, it's still a journey and at the beginning you always wonder HOW you will make it to the end. You know WHY, you know you will, you know the WHEN, but wondering HOW you will get there is daunting.

While I don't want to rehash all those months (he was gone for 9 months that time), the dates of departures and returns always stick in my mind. In fact, so much has happened since last November that I don't even want to think back that far. It was like I was another person. I think, honestly, with each year we've been in the military (because it IS a joint effort), I've transformed into someone new. I was different before Alaska, I was different after each deployment in Alaska, I was different after a year in Missouri, I was different after all three deployments that have occurred in get the idea. My point is: deployments are hard and life-changing, even if you think things pick right up where they left off.

This graphic up there is actually more poignant when you think about the beginning of a deployment versus the end of a deployment. However, you never know where you'll be a year later either. For example, for me and for us, the two biggest things were: Where would we be living and what fertility treatments would we pursue after that deployment was over? A year ago, I had no idea what the answers to those questions would be and it's pretty laughable and quite ironic to think about how we still don't have actual answers.
For all we knew, we could've PCSed to Ft. Bragg or Ft. Drum or Ft. something-or-other...we could've had a baby. We could've gone overseas or back to Alaska...we could've not done IVF. We could've gotten out of the army. We also had no idea he'd have to deploy back to Europe just a few months after this (linked above) deployment was over.

As the chips fell, we ended up taking an option for Scott to get another masters, but we still have these two houses we're back and forth between. We went for IVF and it didn't work. Nothing ever *quite* turns out the way you assume, right? Sometimes it's for the better and sometimes it's not. Regardless, you can never predict how things will go during a deployment and that time afterward can be just as odd and life-changing.

I'm sure there's more deployments in our future but, until then, I think I'll just remember how the past ones helped me grow as a person, and enjoy this non-deployable time for the next few years.

*For some 'fun' and slightly depressive reading, here's a bunch of my deployment posts.*


  1. Oh girl I cant imagine. My fiance left for 6 weeks the other day (back now) and I was a mess and a half wondering 'how' for about the first two weeks. So I know 9 months must be a doozy. service wives are so strong and should be given way way more kudos.

  2. OH mercy... I just cant even imagine the military life & the road & journey it takes you on with so much uncertain. But you've made it through so far & you will in the future. I'm sure you do grown & learn so much about life & yourself through it all

  3. You are enjoy your turkey break!

  4. This life is certainly not for the faint of heart that's for sure.

  5. Funny! I know Morgan. She's an all round awesome person. Anyway, I have no point of reference for what you've been through as a family but I'm glad for posts like this that give me a small insight. It must be so strange to do all that growing and changing apart, then have to try and mesh back together again. On a semi regular basis. I'm glad you're having a break from it for a while.


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