BBC Headline

BunnyChow Card #14: 25 January 2019

So recently I found myself going down an internet rabbit hole. Prince Philip of Britain, AKA The Royal Husband, Philip the Greek or just plain old Phil, almost killed someone in a car accident, and it was entirely his fault. 

He was driving a Land Rover SUV with an approximate horse power of 340, and the car he T-boned was a Kia with half the horse power of the SUV. 

The media, especially the BBC, was mainly concerned about the doddering old royal. They didn’t give a toss about his victims, two women, one of whom broke her wrist, and a toddler who luckily sustained no injuries. 

Headlines aside, the world, and especially the residents of the town around Phil’s 400 acre Sandringham estate, want to know why he was behind the wheel in the first place? And why (clutch my pearls in horror!) did the US Secret Service allow Phil, at 95, to drive OUR royals, the Obamas, around his estate in 2016?

As an eye surgeon, okay— an ex-eye surgeon, I know 25 out of a 100 people of 80 and above have ‘low’ vision. Low being a euphemism for ‘blind as a bat.’ Now if that doesn’t sound too bad, compare that with only 3/ 100 people in the 75-79 age group. 

Add to that the loss of reflexes. I mean, there’s a reason why Phil is not a Premier League soccer player. 

And the loss of muscle mass. If you’re over 35 and wondering why you’re getting a belly. That may be due to the five beers per night you’re partaking of, and it may also be due to the 5% per decade of muscle mass you’re losing. It’s called SARCOPENIA people, and at 5% per decade, Phil is all skin and bones. No wonder he can’t shift that foot off the accelerator quickly enough to hit the brakes. 

Of course, when in doubt go to social media. below are a few gems to make your day. 

Oh yes, and I think while the British people are “cleaning house” with Brexit, maybe they could bring in a new broom to replace Phil the Greek.

I suggest Prince Carl Philip of Sweden, who at 39 still has enough muscle mass, vision and nerve reflexes to play football, swim, sail and ski. His Wikipedia page says “Carl Philip also enjoys car racing… and has a licence to compete.” Although, we really should take away his license to compete when it becomes a license to kill.

Prince Carl Philip of Sweden