Monday, March 14, 2005

I am Chrus of the planet Uurth

  • Cripes, could the Blogger comments suck anymore?

  • I am so tired. I spent most of my evening Sunday doing my taxes. I'll be receiving $864 back, with the whole of it going directly to the new laptop my wife bought over the weekend.
    She had a sort of crisis of confidence with her old laptop, due to the fact that it would lock up occasionally when she attempted to copy stuff onto her jump drive. I had taken it to Computer Renaissance (WHICH IS RUN BY COMPLETE MORONS) and paid $100 to have them tell me that nothing was wrong, and then, when I showed them that there was, indeed, a problem, they told me they didn't know how to fix it. So she put up with it for a while and then one morning she was crying and I knew she would have a new laptop by the end of the day.
    If I were a Navy SEAL, and I was captured by the enemy, they could poke me with sticks and have rats gnaw at my flesh and all sorts of hideous things, but oh, Sweet Baby Jesus, don't bring in a pretty woman who cries. Crying breaks a man's will. It fills him with a sense of defeat and guilt that makes him feel as if every bad thing in the world is his fault. Mary cried at Jesus' cross and that's probably why He cried out "My God, why hast thou forsaken me?"
    So I sent her to Best Buy with instructions to find something that she was 100-percent happy with. There was no way in hell I was going along with her, of course. My natural-born desire to kill all salesmen would have taken all the fun out of her shopping. She returned a few hours later, happy, with a shiny new laptop and upward of $2,000 of debt for me to pay off.
    On a somewhat related note, I will not be going to Wales in April.

  • Spike TV has mysteriously dropped WWE Raw, which means that it will likely move back to USA. And that means I'll finally get to watch it again. Huzzah.
    I was looking through the trailers for Wrestlemania today and they were all pretty weak but for the HHH/Braveheart promo (you have to stick with it for a while before it gets good).

  • I figured out today that if you replace every vowel in your name, it gives you a very science-fiction-sounding name: Chrus; Crustul; Kuru; Usthur.

  • The Welsh: Lost tribes of India?

  • One million. That's a hell of a lot of people.

  • Headline that does not exist but that I wish did -- Special Report: That's Not Chocolate.

  • Good name for a blog or album --Muthfucka's Got Blendin' Skillz.

    noisy ghost said...

    This is one of your best posts, but (sputter, sputter) I've been calling you Chrus for quite some time, and you did not mention how I inspired your humor. I've been calling you Chrus, off and on, since my very first email to you. Whenever I'm annoyed, or bored, or hungry, I call you Chrus (you can look it up on old posts, if you want). You will always be Chrus to me.

    Crystal said...

    There are parts of your body that will never touch each other.