Chloé’s Ramblings

Saturday, March 24, 2012

I'm a marathoner

Yep, even though I was 12 the last time I ran for more than 5 minutes in a row, I'm a marathoner. I even run three marathons at a time: weight loss, organisation and infertility. When I started those journeys, I expected them to be sprints. I expected to get pregnant like most of my friends, within months of trying. I expected I would get my house, my schedule and above all my bad habits under control in a snap. I expected I'd get rid of the extra weight after a couple weeks of exercising and eating right.

But all the journeys take more than just some weeks of effort, at least the journeys that are worth the trip. I'm hanging there, and even though some days are better than the other, I try to remind myself that what matters is the long run. I know that, despite the bumps along the road, the trip will be worth it. The rewards will be fabulous. And starting those journeys is half the victory, especially for weight loss and organisation. I'm doing much better on those two than if I'd never done anything, right? They are probably lifelong journeys, I will probably never be able to say "I'm done, I'm at my goal, I don't need to pay attention to this.", but it's okay.

Just like marathoners, I should be careful to keep a good rythm all along the run. If you sprint at times and walk at other, it's much harder and you feel much more tired. You lose your breath, you feel bad, you get in pain. Consistency is the key here. What makes the "infertility marathon" different is that you don't control your rythm, the fertility center and your body do. This is what makes it much harder: you can't control some things, while you can control other (like weight loss) I have to focus on those and let go of the rest which is not in my own hands.


Holly in Japan said...

So very admirable dear Chloe. My sister was on a weight-loss journey. Her goal was 20 pounds. She was at 19 pounds and I made a comment about that being good enough. She looked at me and said, "You don't run 19 miles of a 20 mile marathon. You finish the race." So keep your goals Chloe. I know you will get there - sooner or later. Its not so much the numbers, more just knowing that you did what you set out to do! I wish you every success!