14 July 2010

FireCat vs. the Pus Volcano (25 days ago)

Oh my god, the saga continues! Isn't this awesome? You get serial installments of the pus volcano story! (mmm, cereal....)

Anyway. I went to the dentist today, for what was supposed to be the end of my root canal. I told him that I'd taken Flagyl for five days and couldn't stand it anymore, that I stopped yesterday morning and could almost eat again, and to please take a look at that one small, hard bump at the root of the tooth he was working on.

He poked it.

I leapt out of the chair.

He poked it again.

I considered the mechanics involved in garrotting him with his tie (which was a lovely blue silk abstract, btw).

He poked it again.

Dude. Mark. CUT THAT OUT.

He decided at that point that there was no way he could lance it from the gumline at the moment, give him a minute while he put on his jacket so as not to get the pus volcano all over his lovely tie.


Yes, more draining, more pus and infection, more orangeness, more stank and gack and ewwwww and omg why are there chunks in my mouth?

All activity halts while the tech fills me up a cup of mouthwash so fast I thought she'd get whiplash and I rinse the chunky bits out of my mouth and say things that would make my mother blush and my father proud (and curious).

He then proceeds to start massaging my gum, which in addition to producing more....stuff....makes me realise the specifics of what he's actually doing in there. Fortunately I have a very well-trained gag reflex (and let's not even go there).

Short version: MOAR ANTIBIOTICS, hopefully a kind that will keep me from puking. Seriously, I haven't been on penicillin since I was like, twelve.

I remain, however, a little bit alarmed that the first side effect listed is "black hairy tongue."

Really, could they get any more foul??

Cris suggested I might need a face-ectomy. Now there's an idea.

I am now off to google "black hairy tongue" so I know what to be on the lookout for. Somehow, I'm picturing something akin to my fat, one-eyed cat asleep on my bed. It's probably not that cute, is it.

(update: Nope. It is not.)

Although, I don't know. The idea of my tongue having its own moustache is kind of intriguing, on second thought.

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