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2018 Best New Talent - Short and Sweet Festival Sydney
2014 Pushcart Prize nominee. (more)


Terrorist scum. Yum yum.

Satire Bytes #1

Terrorists scare the fuck out of me.

Their philosophy:
I blow you.


Each to their own, but preferably not in my well-to-do suburb. Kill someone else’s family. Then I can uphold my values. Hey, I’ll join the candle vigil, no problem! I’ll hug whoever you want me to. 

All I know is that love should prevail. The Beatles got it right: Love is All you Need.

Much as I love the Fab Four I prefer the Star Wars philosophy. When Chewbacca was getting majorly cranky for losing the board game with the droids, C-3PO said to R2-D2, ‘I suggest letting the extremist win.’

You’ve heard the expression, if you can’t beat them, join them!

I won't go quite that far, because I’m a civilised human being, but if they can see that you’re trying to do the right thing, they'll leave you alone. If you’re nice to them, they’ll be nice to you. They’ll even respect me. I’m certain of it.

I love all nations equally. That's 100% equally, from Alaska to Abkhazia (where-ever that is). I believe in human rights. My theory is that the extremists will be too preoccupied by the racism of others to care about me. If I do come across them they’ll quickly ascertain how open-minded and accepting I am and move on. I’m truly a modern person, way above those ignorant red neck types. I like music, films and poetry. I’m cultured. Just ask me! (That's why I've began wearing a cravat).

I admire sexualised people of all denominations. I may even be one. I could be gay, bi or trans. (Which one is more popular these days?) That alone makes me more unique. I’m therefore more special. Get it? If you don’t, that’s because you’re ignorant.

Besides, who am I kidding? It’s always preferable to have a couple of high-calibre cards up your sleeve at the dinner party. Morally superior much!
With this much glorious tolerance, there must there a social media page where I can be praised. 
Parade me to my pulpit!

(For the record, I'm left wing. I'm simply pro safety, pro sense.)


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  2. The terrorists seem to have really gotten to you Anthony. What they did was ghastly and pathetic and ignorant. But they have been doing that for years, and society has not collapsed yet. And as far as I can tell, they will be doing it for many more years. The Taliban is still around 15 years after America stupidly invaded. Al-Qaeda is still operating - Mali - years after Osama Bid Laden was killed. ISIS will be still around in decades. To even try to stop them would take a massive force of millions, to invade not only Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan, but also other failed states they operate out of like Yemen and Somalia. If Syria is invaded ISIS will probably move over the border into Lebanon, perhaps Turkey. If Afghanistan is invaded once more, they will move back to Pakistan, which has nuclear weapons. Once hundreds of thousands have been killed, and we have lost thousands, then a peace keeping force of millions will have to be left in place for decades to be slowly picked off by terrorists. So terrorism is with us for a long time. And the more we hate them, the more they will hate us. As I see it, the people I care about, are much more likely to die of shark attack, or a fridge falling on them, or cancer, or being hit by a car, or from my illnesses than a terrorist attack, so I am not going to worry about terrorists. No point really.

  3. Perhaps flying fridges are more common in Wang than in Sydney but I happen to live next to Australia's most Muslim populated suburb, Lakemba, unlike many of the loudest voices who have much to say from the comfort of their Eastern suburbs/North Shore houses. I'm not anti-Muslim in the slightest or I wouldnt live where I do. It merely makes me more aware of my surroundings. The day after Lindt cafe I went down to Lakemba and talked to as many people as I could; showing a bit of solidarity, unlike the many 'Ill ride with you' Hashtaggers who did nothing but sit on their arse on social media trying to impress their friends with their liberalism. In fact I live between two of Sydney's top ten crime suburbs.

    Anyway I don't dispute anything of what you say regarding international policy and what would happen if troops went in. I dont agree with a ground war at all. I've no doubt American caused much of this with its decision to invade Iraq.
    I'm merely saying we need to do more to protect our own right here, including Muslims and everybody and not be so complacent. The 'she'll be right mate' attitude isn't going to cut it.

  4. You're also a pro artist, caring person, and friend.
    Homer's profile and miniscule brain made me giggle.

    1. Haha thank you Robyn. Yes I do care about people. I dont have to know them. I get upset at these things.

  5. I can see why you would be more concerned living where you live. I definitely don't have a she'll be right attitude, and I know you are not saying that of me. I just think terrorism is out of the bottle now and it will be around for decades. I worry about all the hate by the ignorant that is directed at Muslims in Australia. For example a protest about a Muslim school being built in Menton yesterday by skin heads and fascists and the ignorant. If they read the Age they would know that the five talked about teenage Australian terrorists, including the one who shot the police officer, the one who went over to Syria and suicide bombed, and the one who stabbed the police office in Melbourne, all went to public high schools. If they had gone to a Muslim school, they may have felt more like they belonged in Australia and been among positive role models and still be alive. Oh the comment about fridges, that's from American research that showed more Americans were killed in fridge accidents than by terrorists in recent years.

