Be Careful What You Wish For

She has mentioned a few things that she’s always wanted to do but hadn’t yet.

I told her I would do them (of course) and one in particular made me wince but at the same time eager to do it. Eager to be the first, eager to give her something nobody else had. I find myself desperate to make her fantasies come true. Even something that scares me.

Maybe a little bit of it is to prove my adoration, but most of it is to please her, to give her something she hasn’t had yet, to know that she can use me for whatever she wants.

Tonight, one of those things happened.

I was…ok bear with me because this sounds like something out of a porno but then again, so much of what she and I have done sounds like it comes out of a porno. A very high budget, well written porno.

I was in her kitchen, naked, doing the dishes and wearing a collar and a brand new ball-stretcher (2.5 inches). After I finished I asked if I could eat and she offered me some leftovers she had delivered.   

“Oh, wait”, she said with a wicked smile, “give me your cock-head”.

I knew what was coming, it was one of those things I had winced about. One of those things she had always wanted to do and now she was going to do it.

She reached among the leftover burger and fries and grabbed a jalapeno pepper, tore out a small chunk of it and slowly slid it inside my urethra so just a small piece was visible.

What happened next was a blur. A very painful blur.

At first I was hard, hard because it felt a little warm but mostly hard because I could see how much it turned her on.

It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch and she had a very big smile on her face.

“Do you want it out?”

“Yes!” I stammered

“Then you’ll have to cum it out”.

I had serious doubts if I would be able to or not but the next thing I knew, I was on my knees, jerking this burning piece of flesh between my legs

I was close, I could have came right then but at that moment her best friend came out of the bathroom, she had been dying her hair and came out to see what all the commotion was about.

“God I love coming over to your house!” she exclaimed as she saw me kneeling and jerking off in front of her smiling friend.

“Should I let him come?” my owner asked her best friend


“Fuck”, I thought. I was so close, I wanted so badly to come, more from the desire to expel that evil evil pepper, than to experience an orgasm.

I stopped and the pain began to increase even more. The burning became unbearable and I started to shake and whimper.

“My poor baby, do you want me to make it stop?” she asked.

“Yes…” deep breath, wince, whimper “please” and she ran off to grab some yogurt from the kitchen, I think she asked me where it was in the fridge but I was in no condition to answer.

Moments later she was rubbing yogurt into my urethra and I could feel it starting to cool but not enough. Her best friend returned with a bowl of milk and I was told to “dip your dick in the milk”.

I did.

I felt like Yosemite Sam dropping his ass into a barrel of water after Bugs had just lit him on fire.


It wasn’t over though.

She made me hold that position for ten minutes. My muscles aching as though I was in some convoluted yoga position. As I breathed heavily and moaned, she would kiss me and stroke my hair.

Oh and she took photos.


That was about an hour ago. She asked me to write about it and so here I am, naked, still a bit numb, laying on the floor next to her couch as she pets my back and occasionally steps on my balls and smiles at me.

Sometimes, when you get what you wish for, it’s better than you imagined.

Remote Control

Someone emailed me a link to DreamLover Labs last week and I’ve been thinking about the possibilities.

Here’s what they claim:   “DreamLover Labs is committed to bringing the full power of today’s miniaturized sensors, actuators and microcontrollers to the world of sensual power exchange. DreamLover Laboratories offers high tech male management devices for playful and/or serious cerebral power exchange and sensual dominance.”

They don’t have anything for sale yet but it looks like their main product is a converted chastity device combined with the technology of a electronic dog collar.


It’s an interesting concept. Getting a jolt of correction from a push of a button. The biggest negatives seem to be that it only works from a short distance and there’s no way to bring pleasure. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to get either correcting pain or teasing pleasure from one device?

The benefits of the device as they claim:

-Hands-free discipline (personally I like hands on too though)

-Slashes training time (What’s normal training time????)

-Instant behavior correction and attitude adjustment in any situation (Try not to use while make is performing open-heart surgery)

-Completely stealth operation possible

-Complements the effects of chastity on male behavior control

-Longer attention span, increased receptiveness, increased output (Where was this when I was in school??)

-Overclock your male now!   

Curious Things

I was asked to make a list of the things I’m most curious about. Thing I’ve had on my must-try-before-I-die list.

Chastity- Maymay wrote about his extended chastity here. Obviously my daydreams aren’t nearly as close as what the reality would probably be. I imagine being locked up and taken out whenever she (whoever she is) wants me. More of an anti-masturbation device than a no-orgasm device. Who knows, maybe she’ll want me locked up for longer durations, or maybe not locked up at all.

CBT- I have limited experience in this area but the hints of it that I’ve experienced have been eye opening. Probably because there are a million wonderfully evil things a woman can do in this area. As with all kinds of pain, it’s limited to those who really get off on giving pain. I hate the idea of feeling pain anywhere but I love the idea of taking the pain for someone who gets off on giving it. Everything from sounds, bondage, clamps, clothespins, you name it and I’m curious about it. The mental image of sounds is enough to make me whimper.

Anal play- I’ve experienced strap-on play a few times. A few times isn’t nearly enough. I’ve only experienced the wonders of the prostate once for maybe a minute. My head nearly exploded. There’s also something very intriguing about plugs and hooks. I have no idea what the appeal of anal play is for a dominant woman. Is it the idea of violating a man? I know what the appeal is on my end of things but the motivation for a woman escapes me. If I knew the motivation it might help me find someone to motivate into doing it.

Predicament Bondage- I was talking to someone the other night who mentioned how much she loved doing it to her boyfriend. I hadn’t thought much about it until I saw how much she loved it. Her face lit up with this genuine evil smile. It’s motivated me enough to read more about it and keep my eyes open for someone with an evil smile.

Electrical play- Nuff said. This is a big question mark for me. I’ve heard it can be either very painful or very pleasurable.

Hypnosis- I’ve heard it’s intense.

Owned- I know now that my previous goal (I wrote about it here) of having a weekend where I was totally owned and controlled by someone is totally unrealistic. Finding someone who wants to own me for a few hours might be more attainable.

TESFest Recap

I just walked in the door from TESFest.

A few highlights:

-I learned I can’t go to a CBT class for a number of reasons. I have no desire to see another guys junk, I’m a bit uncomfortable seeing others in pain and part of me starts to feel a bit jealous.

-At nights I would walk though the dungeon area for a few minutes to see if there were any women who looked like they wanted to play but everyone I was attracted to was busy tying someone up, getting tied up or standing with her boyfriend so I went to the bar for a beer. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.

Tilda seems to get cooler every time I see her. Any woman who owns leather converse is a rock star in my book. I tend to “borrow” her confidence whenever I’m around her.

-My best friend bought her first bit of hemp rope from Jocasta. She found two boys to practice on and was beaming after every time she played. Her favorite class was presented by Boymeat and is now planning on getting into electro play.

-One woman (whom I’m always feeling shy around for some reason) suggested I buy a cock ring. I never would have done it but when an attractive woman suggests it and even takes you to the vending area to buy it, one can hardly resist. I was a bit embarrassed when she was talking to the venders about it but was also trying to cover up my obvious arousal.

-I managed to walk by another one of my good friends as she was beating some guy up in the dungeon. It looked so intense I was surprised everyone else didn’t just stop and watch. Normally I’m busy trying to make her laugh, now I’m starting to think I need to get her angry.

Lolita may have sensed my desperation because she went out of her way to talk me up to one very attractive woman. For a second I thought she may have actually been interested until I realized she had her submissive with her already. Still, it was nice feeling while it lasted. Lolita is the only person I know who could have pulled off being my “wingman” while wearing Mickey Mouse ears. Note to self: Find out how Lolita got her superpowers.

Calico pinched my butt as I walked by one morning! I thanked her for it of course and was tempted to keep walking by her every time I saw her.

-Rita Seagrave is awesome-tastic. I’ve never been to a presentation like hers before. Can we get an All-Rita cable channel?

Viviane suggested I take a class on seduction. I’ve never had bad advice from her so I took it. The presenter offered some good advice even though I felt like most of the stuff would work better for me if I were dominant. I did notice a few things I’m doing wrong and perhaps things I need to cover up about my personality. I’ll write more about that later.

-I’ve had a number of emails asking if I used any condoms over the weekend. I have them for sale if anyone wants to buy some unused condoms. They’re out of the box so I’ll offer a discount. I’d return them to the drugstore but I doubt they’d give me a refund, maybe store credit.


How Much Pain Can You Take?

“How much pain can you take?”

Such an odd question. A great question though, since it hopefully comes from a person who’s thinking about testing just how much I can take.

How do I answer that?


One person might consider me a pain-slut while another might think of me as a total pussy (to this I always say “you are what you eat”).

I’ve been told I’m a masochist, but it’s not like I have a large sample of opinions on the subject.

I’ve sometimes been tempted to ask what kind of pain since there are many different kinds I have yet to try.

If I’m bound I seem to be able to take more. I think. Maybe it’s just because I like bondage. I’d probably do lots of things more if I could be bound while doing them.

The correct response is probably “How much do you like to give?”.

A number of people have asked me if pain and giving oral are the only things I’m into. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I probably at the top of my mind lately though since sadists are so hard to come by and it’s a a curiosity that has me a bit beside myself.

I mean, I know why I like bondage, I know why I like a lot of things. But I still don’t know why I’m curious about CBT and a million other forms of pain/torture.

I recently joined this BDSM social networking site Fetlife. On it they have a list of kinks that you can check off and show your degree of interest. As I went through the list I kept shaking my had at how much there is that I have yet to try. I also found a few things I had never even considered before.

I only recently discovered the joys of being whipped. Holy fuck is that amazing. If half of my curiosities are as amazing as being whipped I’m in big trouble. Holy fuck that’s addicting.

Even though I loved it I still don’t know how much I can take. How does one measure that?

What is the best answer to that question? What answer does a dominant woman want to hear? What turns her on most?



“A Plethora of Pain”

“How much would you like?”