Thursday, July 3, 2008

Advice from England

But if I was giving advice to my kids and there was a bar brawl it would be to look after themselves.

Everybody is shocked by the level of violence we are seeing, particularly towards young people, and we must all work as hard as we can to reverse this dreadful trend.

But, you know, everybody's not se
eing the connection between those two statements.


  1. I have been in a few tussles in my day and more often than not you don't have a choice. Stuff just happens around you or someone comes up and slugs you. If there is a lot of chest bumping before hand, then that's the signal to walk if you don't want to get into it. But if you ignore the signs or are oblvious because you are drunk, then you are in the soup.

  2. The absolute worst is when some dude is arguing with his lady and it gets physical. Man that's a bad scene. When I was hanging out, it was often before the bouncer showed up at 10pm and the bar maid would look to you for help.

    One night me and my English friend Tim were out drinking. It was during tax season and I didn't feel like going out but he dragged me out every night after work because he had just broke up with his wife literally a week or two before. So he just wanted to drink. And he was a sloppy emotional drunk. Anyway this was Valentines day no less and we decide to go out bouncing. I had to work until 10 and wasn't going out until he called and begged me. We end up in a bar on Second Avenue called Petes Ale House which is owned by the same guy who owned the one on Atlantic where we had an Althouse meetup. Anyway we walk in and there is this skanky chick bartending with tatoos. A real faca brute but with nice tits. Anyway she's at the end of the bar talking to these Russian dudes. She comes over and gives us our drink and goes away to talk to these guys. My friend is telling his tale of woe and I am counting the minutes till I can say it's closing time and we have to go. She comes over and goes like this "Man those two guys are such fucking losers. What kind of loser is hanging out without a date on Valentines Day." She looks at us and sez "Present company excepted of course." I look at my buddy and he looks at me and we go "Thanks, I think." So she goes "So if I have to bounce these assholes out of the bar you guys are with me, right." Now Tim is about five foot tall and weighs about 110 soaking wet and she is really looking at me. I go "Sure I'm right behind ya. We're going outside for a smoke, be right back." We went outside and got in a cab and went home to Brooklyn.

    The moral of the story is that you can only get in as much trouble as you want to if you pay attention to what is going on around you.

  3. Hey, I think that's a record for the longest comment on your blog. I am going out for a cigarette.

    And I don't even smoke cigarettes.

  4. That said, he's not talking bar fights. He's talking muggings.

    He's saying don't do anything about crimes in progress, because a very nice criminal told him it would be dangerous.

    What were you saying about perforated Albinos?

