Music Listeners Upset They Weren’t Drugged Before Having to Listen To Cardi B’s Music

Former hooker, stripper and apparent music artist Cardi B has been under fire after admitting she drugged and robbed men in a anger fueled, borderline incoherent, rant most fans confused for one of her songs. The blow-back compounded when she defended the actions saying, “I made the choices I did at the time because I had very limited option”. The outrage on twitter has spread in the form of people calling for her to be cancelled, a slang term for someone to be socially ostracized, and now people are furious that they weren’t drugged before having to listen to her music.


“It sounds like a flock of dying seagulls tied up in a trash bag” said Kelly McCockurts

“I was in a public truck stop bathroom and I heard what sounded like a homeless man vomiting into a 50 gallon drum of burning kittens, but when I came out of the stall, I was the only one there, it turns out it was just Cardi B’s music on the radio” Said Mike Kuntz

Twitter use “ShovePotatoesUpMyAss420ForJesus” Said “Cardi B owes us an apology for basically existing.

Cardi’s publicist was not available for comment.