S02E04 - The Lady

No: 12  |  Season: 2   Episode: 4  |  Air Date: 3-May-15  |  Ratings: 1.75



Director and Writers

Director: Alec Berg
Written by: Carson Mell


Richard: It says here on your resume that from 2010 to 2011 you "crushed it"?
Applicant: That's actually an old resume. It should also read that I crushed it from 2013 to present.
Jared: So are we to understand that you did not "crush it" in 2012?
Applicant: There was a medical situation preventing me from crushing it to my usual standards. So I had to take some time off until I was able to crush it at 100%, at which point I resumed crushing it full-time.

Gavin: I give you Dr. Bannerchek, the one and only man fit to be the first head dreamer of Hooli XYZ. Also I give you the one and only man fit to be his co-head dreamer, our very own Nelson Bighetti, otherwise known around here as "Baghead". Come on up here, Baghead.

Jared: It's like we're the Beatles and now we just need Yoko.
Dinesh: That's the worst example you could have used.

Erlich: You see this, Richard? What is this?
Richard: A spoon?
Erlich: It's a wide spoon. In fact, the only spoon type that is left in this drawer. I specifically posted a note on the refrigerator saying that the more narrow spoons be reserved for the eating for Fage yogurt by me.

Russ: Know what has three commas in it, Richard?
Richard: Uh, a sentence with two appositive phrases in it?
Russ: No, a billion dollars.

Russ: I think we need to talk about getting some shwaaaaaaaaag.
Richard: What?

Jared: I mean, we're all cool here, but we know each other. So obviously, when Dinesh calls me retarded Frankenstein, or he describes me as AIDS lady, or Gilfoyle refers to me as effeminate K.D.Lang, I know this is a joke among friends.
Dinesh: It's not a joke.
Gilfoyle: We're not friends.

Jian-Yang: Erlich, he started crying in Taco Bell. He tried to blame the taco sauce.

Jian-Yang: Yes. Which is for burning?
Jian-Yang: I never burn trash.
Erlich: Yes.
Jian-Yang: What about garbage?
Erlich: Motherfucker.

Jared: My only concern here, and it's a small one, um, he's also named Jared. Will it be confusing with two Jareds? If we hire him, I can always go back to my real name Donald.
Gilfoyle: No, that's too big a hassle. We'll just go with "other Jared." OJ, for short.
Jared: I know a name is just a sound somebody makes when they need you, but shouldn't this much-newer Jared be "other Jared"?
Gilfoyle: You should be flattered. OJ Simpson is one of the most recognizable people on the face of the planet.

Erlich: I am going to have to err on the side of caution and say "Pass-adena," Trina.

Erlich: I must get dings, right?
Richard: Dings?
Erlich: Like in a jury or "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

Gavin Belson: What is a moonshot? A moonshot is an idea so big, so bold, as to be impossible until it is not.

Carla: I'm not a woman engineer. I'm an engineer.

Carla: I have a question. My best friend's nickname is C*nty.
Jared: I'm sorry, her name is - C*nty.
Carla: And I was hoping I could call her C*nty while I'm here.
Jared: Okay, that one's easy. No, you cannot.
Carla: 'Cause, you know, I want to have C*nty come visit me for lunch, and if I can't call C*nty "C*nty," then it's like, I'm not going to want to have C*nty over at all, which I feel like kind of violates my rights
Jared: Yeah, um, it does not.
Carla: ...as a woman.
Jared: Okay, I'm going to have to get back to you on that one.
Gilfoyle: Her best friend's nickname is C*nty.


"Stretch Your Face" by Tobacco (Opening title music)

"I Don't Need A Reason" by Dizzee Rascal (End-credits music.)

Notes and Trivia

Charlie Saxton, who plays the "Crushing Applicant," played a member of a small tech startup on "Betas," one of the first Amazon Prime original programs.

A website for the fictitious "Hooli XYZ" actually exists on the web. (www.hooli.xyz) It features an image of Bighead. Also, in a weird twist, when Google released their web page for the "Alphabet" initiative (abc.xyz), they also included a hidden link to the Hooli page, causing people to feel that Google was admitting that they were actually "Hooli".






StarringThomas MiddleditchRichard Hendricks
StarringT.J. MillerErlich Bachman
StarringJosh BrenerNelson 'Big Head' Bighetti
StarringMartin StarrBertram Gilfoyle
StarringKumail NanjianiDinesh Chugtai
StarringAmanda CrewMonica Hall
StarringZach WoodsDonald 'Jared' Dunn
StarringMatt RossGavin Belson
StarringSuzanne CryerLaurie Bream (credit only)
StarringJimmy O. YangJian Yang
Guest StarringChris DiamantopoulosRuss Hanneman
Guest StarringPatrick FischlerDr. Davis Bannercheck
Guest StarringCharlie SaxtonCrushing Applicant
Guest StarringGabriel TigermanGary Irving
Guest StarringAlice WetterlundCarla Walton
Co-StarringJill E. AlexanderPatrice (as Jill Alexander)
Co-StarringJulia ChoJunie
Co-StarringJessie CohenHostess
Co-StarringDwayne ColbertApplicant #2
Co-StarringKsenia LaurenNastia
Co-StarringJeff StaronApplicant #1
Co-StarringMaverick ThompsonAspen