Divorce Mediation, Child Custody Mediation Issues and Courts

Divorce Mediation is getting more and more popular these days. And why not? Many divorces are amiable, and the partners are not out to punish the other person when they separate. Too often in court with attorneys, parents try to prove each other unfit so they can get more time with the children.

In fact, most courts ask that you try divorce mediation before you go to court to try a case. If you do hire attorneys, when you get to court very soon in the process the judge will ask you, “Have you tried mediation?” Since that is the case, why not try mediation first, before the mud-slinging back and forth gets going? If you try mediation first, you stand a much better chance of reaching an agreement. And if you can cooperate first, co-parenting is easier, seeing each other at weddings and births years later is easier. Even more, the emotional pain of divorce, while never fun, can be lessened because you can avoid getting hurt over and over. You can move into the rest of your life and recover more easily.

I know this to be true because I’m divorced, had kids at the time, and went the mediation route. I saved myself tons of grief and pain, and even more money. And I was able to model a valuable lesson for my children that adults can come to an understanding on important things, even if they can’t agree on everything. The children will heal faster with parents like that.

People sometimes ask how much divorce mediation is. That depends on the situation. But generally it’s 1/3 to 1/2 of what traditional divorces cost. Sometimes even less. Divorce mediation is faster, less costly, the results are better. Both partners will generally stick to an agreement they made themselves, instead of having a settlement forced upon them by the judge. The judges don’t have to make decisions in cases that may wind up back before them in a couple years. Mediation is a win for everyone!

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