kingsuperspecial made me what I am.

ghosts of the old me lurk in my checkbook, my journal, my ceral bowl..

each day it bridges the void between
having no why and not needing one.

I love my medicine, and if you don't
need it than you'd never understand.
nemo there once was this guy... lets just call him "nick" that use to make me really happy. once i even wrote a song about him called "you are my zoloft"... but i've been thinking about that, and its not good i find my happiness in either a pill or a person or whatever. i guess i kinda need to find it in me, but that really doesnt work. so i think i'm gonna stick with the pills and "nick" for a while. 010612
*molly oh, addiction. 010730

Life's been so much better since I started taking one in the morning, too.
little wonder it was the first one they put me on.

i got really fucked up from it.

prozac has been so much nicer to me.
cheer-up-emo-kid Im supposed to take 1 50mg pill a day. I take about 5. it makes me shake violently all day, but it makes me emotionless. and sometimes I puke when I come down off of it, but its worth it. mmm... happiness in a pill. 020615
littleidiot i have a drawer, filled with personal things: 4 journals...old letters...movie ticket stubs.. ttc transfers...scraps of paper with random blatherings on them.. and about 4 full bottles of that wretched, wretched pill. i don't know why i keep them, but i do. 021112
jane i threw them away. after what they did to me...they were the first one i was on as well. after that it was celexa. in the end i decided that my human character was of my own choosing...and that i really believe in suffering, because it leads to strengthening of the spirit 021112
not an angry girl yesterday i went to get a refill. "your insurance says you're not covered anymore. that will be one hundred dollars."
but i don't have one hundred dollars. i've already been off it for 3 days and someone who knows nothing about life telling me i'm not covered. you're damn right i'm not covered...who's fault is it gonna be when i lock my jaw and have to fight not to scream.
i don't want to be dependent i told her. "but you're not dependent if it helps you." so maybe it's the placebo effect but damn. give me something and tell me it's my pill and then i'll be fine and i won't cry when i feel like i can't breathe.
but i'll be fine. because it's just a pill. and maybe it's psychosomatic. i'll be fine.
wandering stars All of this sounds obsessive. All of these posts before me.

Zoloft= more social, no crazy moodswings.

Pretty simple for me, and nothing negative has come from it except maybe the delayed orgasm, which really isn't that much of an inconvenience.

It isn't so simple as to say "a pill makes me happy" because thats pure bullshit. It certainly doesn't make me emotionless either. I feel like I must have felt about 8 or 9 years ago. More normal (meaning: i didn't have
erratically changing moods and I could function better on a social level without being so fixated upon my insecurities)...

Its been a positive thing for me, its too bad that it 'fucks' with some other people.
littel_elf ahhh... zoloft. I remember thee well.

Made life nice for a time... then I started getting hives, bleh, and since when u start having allergic reactions they take you off anything new they took me off of it. I'd been taking it for months tho... in the end the doctor said it had something to do with a virus or cold or something I had.

after that I never made it back to see the counselor or visit the psychiatrist who prescribed... and mom insists I'm fine. But she's depressed, too.

I miss it, was never really hooked... no withdrawal symptoms in other words. But I do miss it. can live without it tho. Not always pleasantly, but I live on. Who knows. Maybe I don't need it. *sigh*
not an angry girl yeah...delayed orgasms....only now i've been off it for almost 2 weeks because my insurance company is fucking me over....so no more of that. what's better, getting an orgasm, or being socially anxious? hmmm... 030209
lo zoloft and depakote. i'm not sure which effected which. zoloft anti depressant and depakote for mania? i felt a sort of innner calming...no more constant chattering in my head...no more weird thinking i'm the fucking messiah, walking miles and miles for what i don't even know, no more frighting crashes into extreame paranoid delusions, no more writing in actual pyshical pain crying and crying and crying for what i don't even know. i was on an even keel. it was nice. still had social anxieties but felt motivation to over come them, face them what have you. but i missed the high...even keel felt so empty to me eventually...i didn't feel like me at all. i missed my rushes of ideas, my exagerated feelings,my non stop typing, i was so productive. i didn't have to try to be social when i was high...i just was. yeah i don't like the crash, the horribly embarrasing thoughts and actions. i defintly don't like the depression. but it's been pretty managable since then anyway without the drugs. i still have them but so far the highs and lows have not been as intense (though i am embarrased to show myself in ceratin places. probably never go back). i suppose they will eventually and i'll then just have to accept the calm. 030522
trixie cute commercial 030522
unhinged NO

i guess i understand why the doctor handed me some zoloft and a perscription for it when i asked him for some collanapin but i guess i should have told him that i don't want to be a zombie.
/anon eh paxil is better 030523
niska awww.. hee! like 'the missing piece'. 030523
pobodys nerfect The little round guy in the commercials is so adorable. I just want to reach into the tv and hug him.
I love him so much that I searched for pics of him on the internet so I could have them. :)
lo the little bouncing blob is just too adorable for word...agreed too true. 030524
tortuous i love my little blue pills 030820
pobodys nerfect They have a new commercial out,and it's just as cute as the other ones--maybe even a little better,because there's more of the blob guys in it. I love it when he gets all embarassed and has the little pink cheeks.

Back on a bbs I used to be on,someone once posted a pic of the zoloft guy. I remember there was this one guy(my favourite member,actually)who thought it was a pic of a depressed potato. So to this day,there are a few times when I see the commercials,that think of potatoes and a guy who was as unique as his username. :)
Jim The commercial is awesome... though it makes me feel sorry for the little guy. The new one about the social anxiety disorder is awesome, too. I want a stuffed Zoloft guy... 031010
jenny enny dots It's not a drug, it just makes me feel normal. Not super-normal or super human. A little more outgoing, but that's not why I take it. It's for times when I want to run away, because I feel I will die or faint. It's for feeling like you're on an escalator that is flat, and you realize you are standing still. I'm not even kidding. Without zoloft, I can't have a job. But it's not a drug. It's a normalizer and it's perfectly safe.... 040118
? ? 040121
Lila Pause I stopped taking it 12 months ago.

It's really nice to have feelings again.
unhinged zoloft_anemia 040624
applegirl are you kidding me?
What a numb riddle
a numb dance
to the tune of the pills
shaking in their bottle
like skeletons
because they're missing brains
the lack of feeling
the way there is a lack in the converstion
because what do you say
when you are speaking
with a mouth full of zoloft
rockets I dunno...if I took antidepressants and found that they impaired my ability to have sex, I would find that even more depressing.

"Hey, ladies, good news look at me, I'm not a miserable shit anymore, that means now I'm not such a drag to be around now that i've got all of this happy sunshine falling out of my arsehole, but the bad news is that meds which have turned me into happy_fun_ball also mean I either no longer really want or am not always physically capable of sex, which was a big fucking part of what motivated this little experiment in the first place so now I'm the one who has to ask YOU if we can 'just be friends.' "

[cut to commercial image of Smiling Bob the Enzyte guy with usual wide-eyed, shit-eating grin shooting himself in the head with a large caliber handgun, pan left to Mrs. Bob's face being spattered by the residual blood and tissue from the shot, still smiling with the same vacant grin]

Oh yeah, sign me up for some of that!
sirflaccid My neighbor said he would score me some.

Supposedly it will take the edge off.
Twitch I'm tring not to take it anymore...it's not that addictive anyway...it just seems to make me sleepy. 050510
Lila Pause I keep them stashed away in my bedside drawer, just in case...
- Just in case, one day, I want to live.
u24 reading about insurance companies screwing you over makes me happy we have the NHS.

not that i took zoloft. never heard of it until spam emails came along, perhaps it's a US only thing..
Soma After a year of insane emotions, I finally gave up trying to win the battle myself and got meds.
After three weeks of feeling that emotionless void that I feared so much, I woke up in the morning and was insanely happy.

It's been six weeks and I'm still insanely happy.
I'm no overwhelmed by LIFE anymore.
I don't cry ever day anymore.
I'm more productive.
I'm more social.
I have conquered my fears.
I have stopped avoiding things that scare me.

After being so concerned that taking meds would make me NOT myself, I finally see that this strange little pill has allowed me to be myself for the first time in seven or eight years.

Halle, hallelujah.
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