The Best Puns Ever – Let’s Taco ’bout Them

nacho friend anymore let's taco 'bout itA Pun is a type of word play where a phrase or sentence suggests two or more meanings. This could occur when one of the words has more than one meaning, or when one or more of the words sounds very similar to another word or words. Some people say puns are the lowest form of wit, but I really admire people who have the mental agility to think of them!
‘Chip ‘n Other Chip’ liked the ‘nacho’ and ‘taco’ pun the best! The following examples are my favourites.


A backward poet writes inverse.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

A boat carrying red paint has crashed into a boat carrying blue paint. The crew have been marooned.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.

A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.



A dyslexic man walks into a bra.







A nut named Hazel held up a bank by saying, ‘Give me all the cashew have.’

A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative.



A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A vulture boarded an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looked at him and said, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

Atheism is a non-prophet organization. (George Carlin)


Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

Big Rig Carrying Fruit Crashes on 210 Freeway – Creates Jam


Broken pencils are pointless.

But if we give peas a chance, won’t the lima beans feel left out? (Pinky and the Brain Cartoon)

C to G

Cantaloupe tonight – dad’s got the car.

Cole’s Law: Shredded cabbage goes great with shredded carrots and mayonnaise.

Crushing pop cans is soda pressing.

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. (Mark Twain)

Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.



Dogs can’t operate MRI scanners but catscan.

Earning money would be fun if it wasn’t so taxing.


Energizer Bunny arrested: charged with battery.


Frog parking only. All others will be toad.

Frozen sculptures look quite good, icy pose.



He had a photographic memory which was never developed.


Herb gardeners who work extra get thyme and a half.

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

How did I escape Iraq? Iran.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

How do trees access the internet? They log on.

How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.




I can’t find my rutabaga. I hope it will turnip.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.


I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.


I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.


I like puns, but not everyone willower their standards and laugh at this type of humour.


If we canteloup lettuce marry!

If you can think of a good fish pun, let minnow.

If you hear it from the horse’s mouth you’re listening to a neigh sayer.






Is Betty Crocker a flour child?

I swallowed some food colouring. My doctor says I’m ok, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little on the inside.



I told my cat I was going to teach him to speak English. He looked at me and said “Me how?”

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.


It’s a lengthy article on Japanese Sword Fighters but I can Samurais it for you.

It’s better to love a short girl than not a tall.

I used to be a banker but then I lost interest.


I will never forget my childhood summers, when we would climb inside old tyres and roll down the hills… They were goodyears.



L to N

Lettuce meat olive your eggspectations!
– Sign outside a Subway diner –

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

Man jumps in a taxi and says “King Arthur’s Close”. The taxi driver says “Don’t worry, I’ll lose him at the lights.”

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.



My uncle has 65 treason his back yard. (Bob Hope)

“My grandfather came from eastern Europe.” “Russian?” “No, he took his time.”

Need an Ark? I noah guy.

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

News of a coming flood was leaked.


P to S

Pasteurize: Too far to see.



Practice safe eating – use condiments.

Santa’s helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.





The batteries were given out free of charge.


The comedian stopped at the fabric store on his way to a comedy gig. He was looking for new material.





The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.




This girl said she knew my from Vegetarian Club, but I’ve never met herbivore.

Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.


To write with a broken pencil is pointless.


Two hydrogen atoms met. One said, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other said ‘Are you sure?’ The first replied, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’


U to Y

The QuipperyUnknown journalist: “How do you find America?” Ringo Starr: “Turn left at Greenland.”

Unlawful means against the law. Illegal is a sick bird. (Chicago attorney Harvey Gordon)

Used dromedaries are sold in a place called Camel Lot. (Richard Burton)

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

“We’ll have to rehearse that,” said the undertaker as the coffin fell out of the car.





What do you call an elf who sings? A  wrapper!

What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck-filled fatty puss.


What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.90, but deer nuts are under a buck.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.


When chemists die, they barium.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

Where did Noah keep the Bees? In the ark-hives.

Whiteboards are remarkable.

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soot’s him.

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble. You have my Word.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.



If you can add to this list, please do so in your comments below! Some of these puns were featured in a post called Puns for Educated Minds by the Curmudgeon at Large.

30 thoughts on “The Best Puns Ever – Let’s Taco ’bout Them

  1. Margie, I don’t have any puns to add but I can tell you a story with a moral to it. One day a man got a job with a medical research company. They needed him to gather moss from around the area so they could use it to develop medicines. He went out on his first day and gathered as much moss as he could carry. But his boss said; “you’re too slow, we need much more than this. If you can’t do better, we’ll have to fire you. Desperate, the man, who was penniless and couldn’t afford a car, happened to see a beautiful Roan pony sticking its head out of a barn stall not far away. He waited until nighttime, sneaked in and took the pony without the owner’s permission. He thought “now I can get around faster and carry more moss back to the lab and save my job. But the pony was so happy to be loose from its confinement, it just kept running and running and wouldn’t let the man stop and pick up any moss. He was fired. The moral to the story: “A stolen roan gathers no moss.”


  2. Margie, I got a link to your blog sent to me by Rose. Of course, it was also in my wordpress email. Your maketing is widespread and wonderful.Enjoyed these


  3. The most comprehensive and appalling pun list ever compiled!!– and I laughed all the way thru it– thanks, Margie!


    Q: Why did Mrs. Murphy only use 239 different varieties of beans in her famous bean soup?

    A: Because if she used one more, that would make it too-farty. : P


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