The Election

I’m definitely kidding. So what we’re really going to discuss today is sort of about what I do for a “living”. Most of what I do as a speech pathologist here in Vegas is focused on people’s actual voices. I also have a few “neuro” patients, whether it be strokes or brain injuries. I enjoy working with these patients as they are often very motivated. In the three months I’ve been here, I have really began to notice that patients with these injuries have zero understanding of their deficits. I mean like zip. For some reason, they know there is a problem, but if you asked what it was, you probably wouldn’t get a great answer. This is something I learned about in school, but it’s still surprising to see how real it is. Well anyway, I had a patient call the office who decided to discontinue therapy. Sometimes that’s perfectly alright, when the deficits aren’t bad. Let’s think about this though. These people basically stop therapy like it is this optional thing. They still have pretty significant deficits. Imagine someone who has a memory deficit because of a stroke cooking dinner. What happens when they go to broil a steak and take a seat in the living room and leave the stove on broil for an hour? Use your imagination but it’s not going to turn out well. People refuse this therapy like it really is optional. A stroke literally destroys a part of your brain. Like how the fuck does your family let you discontinue. Break your shoulder into pieces and tell your mother you decided you don’t want to get it fixed. It is essentially the same fucking thing. But hey, who the fuck am I to talk. You can talk to some of my friends from New Paltz. I believe there is still a picture of me naked, ripping a cast off of my broken wrist and hand. I don’t even have a brain injury and I still do dumb shit. I guess that’s the human factor in all of this and not necessarily because of the brain injury. I’ll be the first to tell you it doesn’t take much to convince yourself or someone else that you’re doing the “right” thing or the thing that makes sense. I’ll be the first to tell you, my bad decisions heavily outweigh my good ones. Maybe one day the scales will even out, but I still have a ton of stupid shit I plan on doing, so stay tuned mother fuckers.

Published by Your Cousin Vinny


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