Photo by Jason DeVarennes

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

There is no such thing as fate, so stop tempting it














I'm still trying to find that balance. 


  1. I hear ya, Pamela! I'm off pain killers completely but still struggle with shoulder year after surgery although WAY BETTER. It is a conundrum that one needs to strengthen wasted muscles and ligaments through rehab to get better but hitting the wall on pain can back flip you to lost ground. Doesn't seem that medicine has come up with a decent solution for chronic pain while rehabbing because of toxicity and side effects of meds. I've come to accept that shoulder injuries are agonizingly slow to heal but have made great progress from where I was a year ago prior to surgery and rehab. Rode my vintage bike today with its new semi-upright cockpit and hit some satisfying speed on short ride and pleased that I can ride two wheels again. This ride today is only second upright ride this year. Last 12 months hardly any riding including trike because of pain including cervical pain because neck muscles were grossly overloaded to assist shoulder movements. Surgery and rest and rehab have made a big difference and I'm lucky that I have running to fall back on during my cycling abstinence which would have been even harder without that fix. I'm experimenting with the new semi-upright cockpit to see whether this is a partial solution and if so may change out cockpits on other bikes. My takeaway from the past several years of fighting the shoulder pain is that the body is amazingly resilient but that shoulder injuries are excruciatingly slow to heal and will exact rest and recovery from me. I have made progress though but am coming to understand as you point out that there's a balance. For me, maybe a new normal. Still it's progress. You're still inspirational and I really feel for what you've gone through. Be kind to yourself! Jim Duncan

    1. Jim,

      Thank you for the kind words. Shoulder stuff is brutal. As cyclists, we already have a hunched over posture from spending our days grasping drop handlebars. Combine that with a tendency to break collarbones and we are set back even more. I blame my first broken collarbone and lack of surgery, meaning 3 months of immobility for the frozen shoulder that morphed into osteoarthritis that resulted in my cyborg shoulder. Chemo and a year of cancer treatment wasted away a lot of muscle. Then the surgery went after more upper chest muscle. Not to pat myself of my sore back, but every time I see a new medical provider, they comment that my body has had more than its share of abuse. Yet at the same time, I know how lucky I am because things could have been much worse. This was driven home after the bone graft left me barely able to walk for a week. Now that was pure agony, couldn't ride, couldn't walk! That's when I realized what a motion junkie I am.

      I love that running is something you view positively. So it's great that you have it and enjoy it. But here's to better days for both of us going forward.


  2. You are an inspiration, Pamela. From cycling crashes, I have fractured my pelvis in three places (still have a plate and four pins in my right ilium) and my jaw also in three places (in braces now after having it wired shut for awhile). I guess I should consider myself lucky compared to what you have been through! But pain is a constant companion, and like you, I have lost muscle and don't want to be on prescription painkillers. I am stubborn as I am still riding upright even when scar tissue from my pelvic fractures tell me I should probably be on a recumbent. After I broke my jaw last year from an endo, my 82-year old mother urged me to stop riding; she said that two bone-breaking injuries should be enough. On the one hand, I can understand how a non-cyclist would think that. It's completely logical. But as a cyclist for several decades now, it is hard to explain the impossibility of giving it up as long as I am still able to do it. I'm back at it and have over 1700 miles on the odometer so far this year. I hope and pray I am through with injuries for awhile -- and that you are too. And I also hope we can both find that balance you speak of. I love to read and cook and write and do other things besides cycling, but pedaling a bike is in my blood.

    1. Hi Emily,

      Thank you for your kind words. You have had your fair share. Pedaling a bike is in our blood! Indeed!


  3. You are one tough lady, to be sure. I have a shoulder that has gone from stuck, to just really painful. It takes 5 go 10 miles of riding these days for the pain to ease. I don't think it's a cycling-related injury, but I'm going to use you as inspiration when I get hit with a pang of pain.

    My wife and I have ridden the Prouty cancer fundraiser several times, and when when we're worn out, bucking a headwind with 75 miles down and 25 left to go, we start reminiscing about my sister Sue, whose active life was ended early, due to breast cancer. It's an instant tailwind to think about the energy and attitude that she brought to every challenge. There will be an extra yellow ribbon streaming from our bike this year, with your name on it.