Needs and wants

This post was inspired by an essay in Samantha Irby's book, "Meaty."

This post was inspired by an essay in Samantha Irby’s book, “Meaty.”

A major stream-of-consciousness rant is about to commence, so buckle in, you guys. I swear I’ll blog about something more positive soon.

In the style of Samantha Irby, my needs and wants are as follows:

I need to find out if I got that job I’ve been interviewing and testing for. I need to find out if it would pay me enough for me to keep my apartment. I need to find some back-up plans if it doesn’t pan out. I need to decide if I’m okay with leaving this neighborhood. I need to see if anyone wants to move into my dining room. I need to see if any of my other broke friends want to find a place together. I need to tell my landlord if I’m staying or not in the next few weeks. I need to pay my car insurance.

I want to sell my car. I want to keep my borrowed cat. I want to email Mango’s owners and tell them I’m never giving her back. I want to throw myself a giant birthday party. I want to lose that last five pounds before it so I’ll look bad ass in the black and white thrift store dress I found. I want to eat burgers from the Grafton for lunch EVERY DAY. I want a beer or four.

I need to get my crap together. I need to stay 27 for a while longer because 28 seems too old to be this scattered. I need to blog more. I need to write for my news site more. I need to read more good writing. I need to get a damn hair cut. I need to eat more vegetables. I need to clean the litter box. I need to take that pile of clothes to the dry cleaner. I need to pay my electric bill.

I want someone to make/bring me a healthy dinner every week night. I want someone to keep me company while I watch Netflix until I fall asleep on the couch. I want everyone to leave me the hell alone so I can tackle the to-do list I’ve been avoiding. I want you all to come hang out, wait, where are you going? I want to drink white wine and watch “The Office” with my aunt.

I need to volunteer more. I need to sleep more. I need to quit agreeing to do things I don’t want to do. I need to call my family. I need to answer a LOT of emails. I need to water that poor dying plant in my living room window. I need to throw out everything in this cluttered spare room. I need to learn how to use the sewing machine my step-mom gave me. I need to put my Netflix account on hold.

I want to make more art. I want more time to be creative. I want to make intricate collages out of tiny scraps of paper and hang them up on my desolate walls. I want to quit having to sleep altogether. I want to feel better. I want to be better.

I need to be better.