Just now, I was sitting in my room, when I heard "BAM!" on my window. I looked out to see what it was and saw a bird laying on the ground. I walked outside to see if I could help it, and noticed that its neck was broken. It made me sad to see such a beautiful blue jay looking so helpless. Realizing there was nothing I could do, I began to cry. But then I remembered something that was said at service this Sunday at Christ Church- "Life must end for new life to begin". And as silly as it seems to be crying over a dying bird, hearing that quote in my head gave me peace.
It then made me start thinking about things in my life, and how some things naturally have to come to an end for other things to begin. There are people that have come and gone in my life, several having huge impacts on me. And as hard as it has been to let some of them go, I wouldn't be where I was today had I not. 
I also thought about how all of the events in my life have been linked, and how one little difference could change my entire life.
I was frustrated with the recent changes that occurred with my job at the daycare, but if I was making more money there, I wouldn't have started looking for another job. Because of that, I found and got a full time, lead teaching position! I've been working towards this goal for a few years now, and it has finally happened.
Looking back over the last few years and all the drama, heartache, betrayal, and just general bad times that I've had definitely make it worth it for as happy as I am now. I know that it's easy for me to say this now because things are going well, but hopefully this will serve as encouragement, if not for anyone except myself, that there ARE going to be bad times, but it makes the good times worth it. 
I know I wouldn't be where I am today without having to go through those things, and it makes me grateful of what I have.
I just need to remember that even when things are bad everything has a purpose, and even in the bad times, the reward will make it all worthwhile.

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    ...was born country, and that's what I'll always be, but california has my heart and soul, and is always on my mind <3

    california dreamin'


    March 2011



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