poisonwood's Diaryland Diary

Date: Oct. 01, 2007 . Time: 8:10 a.m.

shared burdens Entry:


shared burdens

When I started graduate school, many of us found ourselves in something similar to this situation. None of us talked about the money aspect. In fact, it didn't have a lot to do with money, in my opinion. Lower salary was a by-product of the real issue: lack of drive. (As graduate students, we often had higher income potential but lower income than our SOs.) I always wanted to date that person who was just as ambitious as me. These days, I am, and I think I'm happier because of it. We both "look up to" and admire each others accomplishments and talents. (I should note that B is not the only one I have dated who meets this description, K being another excellent example.)

I think income couldbecome an issue if dating someone who chose to apply their talents and drive to a non-lucrative field, like art or music. I grew up in a middle class family that watched expenditures carefully. I don't enjoy worrying about money, and I'm not interested in doing that throughout my adult life. What if you have a family and you become ill or unable to work for some reason?

8:10 a.m. - Oct. 01, 2007


health care disaster

I think I have been very naive about health care. Lately, I've been learning more about the situation. It's hard to know who to believe.

The Wall Street Journal had a good article. From the article:

Advocates of this individual-market approach argue that many employers overspend on one-size-fits-all health plans featuring bells and whistles most workers don't need or want. They contend workers then indulge in unnecessary medical care because they are paying only a fraction of the total cost.

But turning individuals loose in the market carries risks. Older consumers will pay considerably more for coverage and many won't even qualify for a policy because of their medical history. The individual market is also still plagued by deceptive marketing of coverage limits, steep rate increases after low introductory prices, insurers' efforts to deny expensive claims and lax regulation in some states.

In some ways, I get angry. I am currently shouldering the costs of health care for older and more sick people than me. However, when I'm old and sick, no doubt I'll be paying out of my own pocket. It's like social security except 100 times worse. My current savings plan does not have a health care allocation.

11:56 a.m. - Sept. 27, 2007


parents on the way

My parents arrive tonight. I've been been trying to clean up and prepare for their arrival, but I've also been distracted by my new computer. Dual core, 2 Gigs RAM. My old computer had 256 MB of RDRAM. It just so happens that RDRAM is incredibly expensive, and to get up to even 1 gig would have cost me $300 +. My new computer cost $430, not counting tax and shipping. I figure it's a good deal. I definitely went with lower end, a refurbished model. It should still be night and day compared the my old computer. The driver behind the upgrade? My desire to run Photoshop and Picasa, neither of which enjoyed running on my old computer.

Vista seems fine, mostly. My complaints so far mainly involve the fact that it doesn't recognized by detached hard drive. In trying to figure out why, I discovered than 5 of my 7 USB ports appear to be USB1.0. What the heck? I can't believe it.

Anyway, I'm glad my parents are coming. I get a little nervous, too, though. They'll be here for about week and a half, two weekends with a little added on either edge. The plan is to go away for both weekends. The plan was to camp, though I'm afraid that could be chilly at this time of year.

8:33 a.m. - Sept. 27, 2007


flip flops

Frightening. I can easily imagine doing what she did if I was distracted or in a hurry.

6:50 p.m. - Sept. 21, 2007


mom stories

I like that Dooce speaks honestly about how being a parent is difficult, though she usually does so in a roundabout fashion after expressing at least once how much she loves Le*ta. You can hardly blame her for that; I'd do the same thing.

I read a book last night, a true story of a woman's childbirth and aftermath, about how she came down with insomnia and then post-partum depression. 90% of the book is a celebration of childbirth, albeit a feminist one. The other 10%, 30 pages or so, is a discussion of how she nearly fell off the sanity balance beam, as she describes it. Many of the celebration pages frankly sounded like a nightmare to me, but the depression part was worse.

Dooce's conclusion above is that she does not want to travel with her child. When I read about things like this, I think back to my mother, and how did she do it? She gave birth to me a foreign, non-English speaking country. She travelled alone with 2 or 3 children 6 or under numerous times, often between countries, including one particularly onerous trip with my sister and I from Ire*land to the US. Of course, we didn't live in a hub in Ire*land, and my grandparents didn't live in a hub in Alb*any. I was 2; my sister 1 or so. I have no memory of this. Both of us were sick on the return trip, and my Mom travelled back and forth with us across the Atlantic. Of course, back in those days, the lax security made things easier. In fact, my Mom tells the story of how my grandmother got on the plane on the way back, when we were sick, to help settle us in, and then nearly didn't get back off again (since she wasn't actually travelling). They were closing the doors. Actually, I think plane travel back then was much more expensive but less painful.

I get stressed out enough travelling on my own. I can't imagine how hard it must be to travel with kids. But then, my mother was living in Afr*ica when she was my age. I guess maybe she's a bit tougher than me.

8:51 a.m. - Sept. 21, 2007



What a fascinating article. I can relate to those who are now questioning religion after having been somewhat devout. This statement rang true for me:

Although he once considered becoming an Anglican vicar, he suddenly found that religion represented nothing he believed in, from Muslim extremists blowing themselves up in God's name to Christians condemning gays, contraception and stem cell research.

I never considered becoming a vicar, but there was a time when I prayed multiple times daily and never missed mass. In many ways, going to Ire*land, what I basically regarded as the source of the brand of faith I practiced, and seeing the quiet churches and many young people without faith changed my outlook. Less than a year later, of course, 9*11 happened. I think some reacted to the Mus*lim onslaught by becoming more Chris*tian; others saw it not as Mus*lim extremism, but more generally religious extremism. It's not as if Chris*tians didn't do the same sort of thing in times past.

Still, unlike the gentleman in the story, for me the door is definitely still open. I go back and forth.

12:07 p.m. - Sept. 15, 2007


cheddar makes everything better

Who knew? Victoria's Secret has a lot of awesome sweaters, and they're not excessively expensive. Hopefully the quality / price ratio is a bit better than their underwear.

I've had broccoli (among other things) for dinner two nights in a row. Go me. Cheddar makes everything better, as they say.

It's been a week since my vacation, and I still haven't finished unpacking.

I become more certain about my relationship every day, but less certain about just about everything else. When I was younger, everything was controllable EXCEPT my love life. Now, it's the exact opposite. Also, I find it interesting that all of my fellow bloggers are in love, to a person. Karen - about to be married. Sarah - long term relationship. Becca, ditto. Pris - married. Christina - has offspring. Mend*ecks, always settled. Rosa, married. Jeez! When I started blogging back in 2000, of course many of these folks weren't blogging, but none of them (including me) were settled or with their current partners. Amazing! How much changes in 7 years, I suppose.

1 club fm's EDM station is rocking my world. If you like dance at all, you should definitely check it out.

7:26 p.m. - Sept. 13, 2007


first class

I was halfway through my run tonight when I remembered that I have my first Iri*sh dancing class this evening. I took a class about 7 years ago in the homeland. That class met 2 hours once a week; this class meets 1/2 hour once a week. I am a little skeptical about how much one can learn in such a short time. I remember being so excited about the other class. My friend R and I used to practice all the time at the beginning. She got tired of it and dropped out, but I stuck it through. It was a "lab" for my Ir*ish culture class, and so we actually got graded on doing a dance at the end. We had to dance in groups of three in front of the class. I did OK; I didn't make any mistakes. That is the only dance class I have taken in my life, excepting the line dancing we were taught in gym class. I like Ir*ish dancing better.

6:44 p.m. - Sept. 11, 2007


near tralee

Here, in Sea*ttle, I'm listening to "Eter*nal Summer" on the radio. How inappropriate. I may be off to Pho*enix this week; it'll make more sense there.

I visited this weekend, with B and the 'rents, his that is. It's not the first time I've met them. They're nice and seem to like me, though it's always hard to tell, isn't it? I remember the first time I met an SO's parents. We'd only been going out a couple of months, but I was living abroad, and everyone always invites you to their houses. Mags and I went over New Year's. That's when we spent Y2K in Din*gle, on the edge of a continent. She had the flu, badly.

Anyway, I couldn't understand T's Dad, period. He apparently had a speech impediment; I'd thought it was just the accent, a Ker*ry accent. I literally could not understand a word he said. It was embarrassing, maybe for both of us. His sister was nice, but overall their house was rather sad and quiet. The TV was on at mealtimes. This should have been the first sign to run away. It made me miss my own noisy (and imperfect) family. I don't imagine I'll ever meet any of the Coopers again.

I wasn't really impressed by his town at the time, either, even though he badly wanted me to be. It's a massive tourist destination. I went back, years later, and was much more impressed in the sunlight of summer. B and I went to the Tra*lee rose gardens, the best I've seen, better than Dub*lin or San Francisco or Vic*toria. I guess the song "Rose of Tra*lee" isn't really random at all.

11:30 a.m. - Sept. 10, 2007



Being back at work is really hard. I had a splitting headache for hours yesterday, so bad I thought I was getting sick. I wonder if it was due to caffeine withdrawal. I drank a lot of tea on the boat. If so, it's a little frightening how quickly one can develop a dependence.

Vacation was expensive, the market is going down, and all I want to do is retire. I think I'd like to be a lady of leisure with a large pack of dogs to keep me company.

This weekend should be somewhat relaxing, other than work tomorrow until about 2. After that, I hope to unpack and put my feet up.

11:46 a.m. - Sept. 07, 2007



If you feel like combing through data, this website has a lot of interesting birth statistics.

Has anyone tried Vista? My computer is on its last legs, so I am thinking of buying a new box. I'm looking at refurbished Dell boxes, which is what my current machine is. (It seems Dell has chosen the next *three* days to update their outlet site. Grrr.)

My vacation was interesting and remote. Perhaps there will be a trip report soon.

8:06 p.m. - Sept. 06, 2007


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