Here’s a question for you know-it-all bitches: what do you enjoy more? Sex... or being right? I want you to really think about that. Sex is the obvious answer, but that would mean you’ve never had bad sex. Or sex with a truly vile person. I’ve had too much of both. In fact, most of the people I’ve slept with have been hideous.

Being right though can be bittersweet too. Gloating is great, lording it over someone is even better, but you don’t want to do either when it turns out you’ve been right about a movie star drug addict who eventually overdoses.

Whatever. I don’t know why I’m getting all profound and sh-t over this when the subject here is just Carrie Underwood and being right about what a giant f-cking twat she is. After all, my nickname for her, for years, has been Country Bitch. Because she is a goddamn bitch. And recently she decided to throw her bitch at Leighton Meester.

It went down on Carrie’s home turf, the Country Music Awards in Nashville last month, where Leighton was presenting. Leighton was a little nervous and just before she was scheduled to go on, Country Bitch approached her and snarled:

"Get out there and don't f-ck it up."

Unfortunately Blair Waldorf was still in New York. Leighton was shaken. And apparently, when asked later why she was such a giant asshole, Carrie replied, “Someone said that to me once and I got over it, so she’ll get over it”.


That’s a Country Bitch right there. I wonder why it’s so hard for people to believe. Is it because she’s blonde?

As for why the bad blood between them – it’s probably residual from when Carrie pretend-dated Chace Crawford for five minutes. If that’s the case, bitch take your sh-t to New York, and we’ll see then how you can really hold up in a throwdown outside the Grand Ol’ Opry.

Us Weekly
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