“Jon and Kate Plus 8” Move to Mexico to Save Their Marriage?

Baja California, Mexico --

Rumor has it that Jon and Kate have formed their own production company and have moved to Mexico to save their marriage...and their show. But some critics say the real motive behind the move is to avoid the strict child labor laws that Jon has accused the former production company of violating.

"Jon and Kate are looking at this time away from the every watchful eye of the media, and the child labor laws the U.S., as a healing time," confirmed the Gosselin's recently hired publicist. "A last chance to save their marriage, if you will."

Reportedly, Kate is already home schooling the children that are still too young to work at the local maquiladora (mill) on the U.S./Mexico International Boarder, while Jon drives the others that are old enough to work in the early predawn hours.

"That's not completely true," says Kate insisting that she was never just a stay-at-home wife back in the states, so why should she start now that she is living in Mexico. "I only home school the kids half a day. The rest of it, I throw them in the back of the car, hand them each a box filed with those tiny colorful packs of square candy-gum and drop them off on the street corner."

Kate says that it satisfies one of the 4-H Club junior entrepreneur requirements that home schooling accepts as credit for its home economics course.

"That's if Carlos [a local 16-year-old thug] doesn't cut any of them for encroaching on his territory," says Kate.

"But if they do get cut," adds Kate, always looking on the bright side of things. "Then the other kids will have an opportunity to earn their Fist-Aid merit badge for patching each other up."

Meanwhile, Jon forgets to pick up the kids he left at the maquiladora earlier in the morning, because he is too busy having a drink with a pretty little senorita at the local Cantina (sports bar).

"Believe me, knowing Jon, she's no senorita any more," says Kate as she flashes her high beams in a darken alleyway chasing away Carlos, who had the kids cornered with a knife, their backs against the wall. "Stop playing around with Carlos and get the damn car! Pronto! Your daddy forgot to pick up your bother and sisters at the maquiladora. And heard coyotes howling in the background again."

"Do you need any help seniora Gosselin?" Carlos yells out.

"No thanks, Carlos," replied Kate as she pulled out of the alley. "But macho gracias just the same."

Oblivious to the time, back at the Cantina, Jon continues to lament his life to anyone who will listen.

"By the looks of me, you'd say I'm a young man," said an inebriated Jon to a young attractive Mexican woman sitting at the end of the bar. "But do you know how many kids I have?"

"No senior, how many?" politely asks the senorita as she stirs her drink.

"Eight!" replies Jon, throwing another shot of tequila down his throat.

"Just eight?" responds the young senorita, looking confused.

"For the last time, stay in the damn car kids! And keep those windows rolled up!" yells out Kate as she struggles to hold off a pack of coyotes (which are multiplying by the minute) with only a road flare in hand. "I'll be right back with your brothers and sisters. The tracks look like they were dragged off in this direction. Hopefully to the same shallow den again...And don't you dare call your daddy on that cell phone! I can handle this alone; I've had eight kids. I can do anything. Oh, and don't turn on the lights in the car, or you'll lower the battery like the last time!"

Copyright © 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo