Japanese dating and marriage customs

Japanese men tend to be subtle and indirect when approaching women because of these societal norms. Men are encouraged by the corporate world to be subtle, tactful, and highly considerate of the well being of others. That is, when they approach women at all. This is one of the differences to consider with Japanese dating rituals.

Dating follows a different course than Western standards. Again, there are exceptions. Before dating there is gokon.

These are group blind dates. A group of friends get together and mingle. This lets each group take stock of each other. The approval of friends when dating is often important Back to Japan, After several gokon , often between 5 or 6, people pair off for coffee, movies, and other typical date activities. However, these are generally done in public.

The couple is still not considered dating. They are only feeling each other out — rather than feeling each other up. Kokuhaku is the next step for people who are into each other. However, it is a strange practice in Western eyes. One that is said to make many Westerners uncomfortable Back to Japan, ; Larkin, Kokuhaku is the confession of love often seen in anime. It is not something we typically tell someone we are only starting to date. However, in Japan, this is the initiating confession for dating.

After kokuhaku , dating follows a more recognizable route: Physical intimacy starts to ramp up. The speed depend on the couple. Marriage rituals vary based upon family expectations.

I will instead focus on the reality of marriage in Japan: Like many societies, marriage in Japan was arranged for much of its history. The purpose of marriage was the continuation the family line. This, as I mentioned in this article , has changed in many circles. The traditional gender roles still persist: Japanese men often do now share in housework. Because of this view, women who work are often not seen as contributing to the household. Unlike the West, Japan never associated virginity with chastity and purity.

The closest idea to the Western virgin was the otome maiden who was thought to be lacking sexual desire in addition to experience. During the Tokugawa Period, both men and women could be considered adulterers. Married women, unlike men, were penalized. Women were property of husbands or fathers. Adultery was a property dispute that was left to the decision of those involved.

7 things Japanese people in int'l marriages wish they’d known before tying the knot



Dating and Marriage in Japan - Japan Powered


The Westerner in this case most likely only wants to go on a few dates and learn if they would be interested in becoming boyfriend and girlfriend if things work out. From a Western perspective this style of dating can seem a bit childish and immature. Some of that feeling stems from the Eastern style of dating being similar to how we in the West date during high school.




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Japanese Dating Tradition 3

Most weddings are held in hotels. In the early s, it became popular to have house weddings, held at designated homes. The houses are generally mansions that can accommodate a lot of people. Even so having a wedding there is often cheaper than at a hotel.

Dating Differences Between America and Japan

Links in this Website: Good Websites and Sources: Good Photos at Japan-Photo Archive japan-photo. Modern Shinto wedding ceremonies have no religious or legal foundation. Based on the ceremony used by Emperor Taisho in when he was crown prince, they are primarily for show and were established as a Japanese version of Western wedding ceremonies.

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Wedding ceremonies for ordinary Japanese remained modest affairs usually held at home until the s when Japanese became more affluent and people had enough money to have weddings outside their homes. The tradition of hosting expensive weddings reportedly began in the s and was spurred by the elaborate, nationally-televised wedding of Emperor Akihito when he was Crown Prince and the future Empress in , the lavish wedding of superstar actor Yujiro Ishihara and actress Mie Kitahara in and the elevation of Japan's status in the world after Tokyo hosted the Olympics in Japanese were encouraged by hotels and wedding companies to host expensive weddings and a large number of wedding halls were built to accommodate the demand.

By , according to a survey by Sanwa bank, more than 70 percent of weddings were either held at hotels or wedding halls. The first one determines if the families are compatible. The second sets the terms for the wedding ceremony and decides who pays for what. Families sometimes investigate potential in-laws to make sure there are no whiffs of scandal.

The wedding preparations and wedding are typically overseen by a nakodo an honored go-between who is usually an older, respected married man. In the old days the nakado often acted like a matchmaker in an arranged marriages. These days he is often an uncle of the bride of groom who is well liked and respected. He often acts like a best man, giving introductions, and leading toasts at the wedding party.