The Art of Being Poor



"I received it from this store."


"In town?"



$ $ $



$ $ $





$ $ $








$ $ $


“I've been told this is valid here?”


“The coupon. Is it valid here or not?”


"Well, is it valid or not?"



"What's funny?" I asked.





"You buying that?" he asked, bluntly.

"If they let me," I said.

"Last one is it?"

"Appears so."

"It's on special offer, you know?"

I shook my head as if I didn't.

"You not got a coupon then?"

"What coupon?"

"Here, like this..."


"Didn't know anything about that," I said.


$ $ $



"Not quite. Four days."



"So how do we wash?"

"We boil water."

"How? You've only one electric ring."


"Your sink's cracked. It won't hold water."





"And the radiator? Can I turn it on?"




$ $ $



$ $ $




“You've already tekkin it or you’d like to?”







$ $ $



- - -

Thanks as ever for reading, Shane. X



Anonymous said...

Great peice Shane. Reminds me of my days as a student maintaining a drug habit. Walking, scamming, doing whatever you have to to get by. Also reminds me of a great first hand explanation of the cycle of poverty by an American. You can read it if you're interested here:

Leo- Birmingham said...

It's 4am, I'm rattling my nuts off. Thank God there's a new heroinhead post to remind me there are others out there.

Eyelick said...

Wow. So fucking familiar, living this way. Even though growing up wasn't like that, my choices have made my life this- and not merely drug choices- life, because it goes back further. When younger and even more poor, pre-habit, between selling my plasma twice per week, between checks or jobs- "sample shopping" could get me by. That consists of going to the mall food court, grocery stores, etc- and eating the free samples they gave out. In this city, where my cigarette (and dope!) habit began, my discovery has been a local casino called Dotty's where cigarettes are often cheaper than at tobacco stores. They have little plastic cups which can be filled with various snacks- candy, suckers, nuts, and a cracker mix. On some days, that is my source of food.

Stacy said...


Boy said...

Don't You ever get sick of living in such a dark and grim existence? Your stories remind me why I stopped using opiates, your life sounds miserable. Stylistically, I like your writing.

Annie said...

spot on....single mother and shepherds bush.scouring the supermarket aisles for pennies...somedays i get by but today its really pissing me off.thanks for some light relief!

JoeM said...

I loved anon's link - she speaks of not being able to get out of 'The Cycle of being poor'. It's true - so much is stacked against certain types of people. We know that money breeds money. And poverty breeds poverty breeds debt/depression/addiction/more poverty and so on.

In my case I would say I've sort of embraced being 'Poor' - not now as poor as I've been, but close.

'The dying Art of staying alive' is one of my 'lines'.

I would say there is a dying Art of staying Poor.

Of doing just enough work/conniving to survive but avoid getting messed up too much in mainstream living.

You and me and others we know are easily intelligent enough to have full-time well-paying jobs - but the price to pay is far too high.

So like you I've always been poor to a greater or lesser extent forever.

So much of this brings back memories: hand washing and drying clothes - wrapping jeans round the taps in the sink to squeeze them damp then sticking them in front of the two-bar electric fire. Then freezing as a result. In my high rise, 18 up,bare floor boards, you had to wear a coat to go to the bathroom.

Yes, I'm going to do the old Monty Python Poor Northerners sketch again!

Being able to afford only Kwik-Save 5p tins of beans all week. Or when we were young selling old clothes to the rag'n'bone man for a shilling (5p) which would get us ... a small tin of beans each. Talk about a cycle.

Don't talk to me about supermarkets! I just got onto Morrisons customer services. I forgot to hand in at the counter a coupon for extra points (4500! Nearly £5 worth!) went back 5 minutes later to ask the cashier to put it through since I still had the receipt - like you do if you forget your customer card. But she refused. Customer services agreed with me and put the points through. Said they'd get in touch with the manager of the shop. Good. I'll give the cashier a big Fuck You grin next time.

Another line:


I wear stuff till it literally falls apart. A pair of shoes halved in two as I walked in the rain. I had to keep the right foot permanantly horizontal against the ground all the way home, dragging the leg like I was half-crippled.

But you try telling young folk that today!

Last line:


Anti-Semite Mutt!

Anonymous Boy said...

Boy I would say the same to a well-off middle class home-owner up to his neck in debt/mortgage, working a crap mentally demeaning job every waking moment for an ungrateful grasping family and co-workers/bosses he would much rather kick in the eye.

I was looking for a job and I found a job.

And heaven knows I'm miserable now.

Shane, this will be us when we're rich and famous writers...

Claudia said...

I'm more comfortable living in the shitty neighborhoods with no money than I am living anywhere else. Sometimes it's hard and defeating, but I've also always felt way more camaraderie with my ghetto neighbors than other places seem to have. Rich people never want to give you anything, but when the neighborhood's all poor together, there's always someone who can bring you over a plate of what they made for dinner, or to lend you a dollar to go get a cheap beer or a couple cigarettes. And if you don't have money cuz you spent it on crack or h or whatever, the neighbors don't look down on you. They understand that regardless of the reason, at the end of the day you're skint til payday or welfare check day, and they've been there.
I've rarely seen it get vicious, but then again, we don't really eat paella around here... Paella might just make things get gruesome.

Unknown said...

flawless, as always.
Bittersweet Cupcake Queen (Sabine)

Okani said...

I liked this story. It made me feel slightly less depressed cos I hate my life and I wish I was dead.

Shane Levene said...

Okani... Why'd dyou wish you was dead me ol' mate? There's a lot of beauty in the world but you often need such tragic eyes to see it. In the infinity of all time and space... to the end of forever... we only have this one tiny blink of existence. There's no more. Your consciousness is here for a fleeting moment and you shouldn't allow anyone or anything to take that away from you. X

Shane Levene said...

Anon 1... The King of the Anon castle... Thanks for the link. I did read it when you first put it through but have since completely forgotten what it is about. Will have to do it all over again... and I hate reading! The thing is, as hard and as bad as it is, there is some kind of beauty and poetry within the struggle. Not in the moment, but looking back... imagining those desperate days, there is something so great within it that, well, I certainly, kinda yearn for them days again. I think it's more to do with youth and energy than anything else. My lungs couldn't handle stone floors anymore... Thats why I always make sure I've a ton of blankets. X

Shane Levene said...

Hey Leo... Rattling and in Birmingham, god, I feel for ya. Though if you're in Birmingham you're never too far away from a score... the place does have some redeeming features. X

Shane Levene said...

Hey Eyelick... O, it's probably even harder if you wasn't brought up in that environment. At least I had a good schooling in such things and knew nothing else. And it's not even really about heroin. I know many who live in just the same way and they don't drink or touch drugs. The difference between an addict and a non~addict is normally the overdraft. Where those who don't use live constantly with a bank balance of $0, addicts live with a balance of $-800. We've each got nothing in real terms though. X

Shane Levene said...

Thank you Stacy My Darling... XxX

Shane Levene said...

Hey Boy, I don't live a dark and grim existence. I see a real beauty and poetry in what surrounds me. That beauty is in everything, the tragedy and struggle just as much as the nature and skylines. I think you can tell by the tone of my texts that I am not a miserable person. I do not whinge and I do not bemoan my existence. I live through it and I write about what I see and experience. If i was miserable i'd change paths, but I think I am on a good path... I think it is leading to something very nice. X

Shane Levene said...

Hey Annie... in the Bush! I'll be back soon. Maybe we'll run into one another then... stealing beans and spaghetti from Tesco's. Where abouts ion the bush are ya? X

Shane Levene said...

Hey Joe... Sorry for the wait. If nothing else I always try to squeeze a reply to you in but life's been hectic here the last two weeks and I didn't find much time outside of it.

O, you referenced one of my favourite Smith's songs. I have so many though it's not too hard. Off the top of my head.. first 5 which come to mind:

Cemetary Gates. Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before (my favourite music video of all time). The Queen is Dead. This Charming man. Please, please let me get what I want. Of course Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now and There is a Light that Never goes Out are in there too. Favourite Smith's songs please Mr Mills...

Totally agree about being intelligent enough to have well paid jobs but too intelligent to want one. People talk about the waste of life and the waste of time of drugs, but I have never been more exhausted and pacified as I have been by a 9hr shift of work... day in day out. That is the real killer of creativity. I think when I get home I'll make a real concerted effort to make a living from writing. I don't need a fortune, and even if I had a fortune I'd live more or less the same as I do now. More than the riches it's the comfort it offers which I could profit from just now. I'm really exhausted wondering at what point in my text the electricity is gonna get snipped.

Yes, you got one over on Morrisons... I'll pass the news on down to Mr Spencer.He could use some light relief from his eternity of burning torment.

Rich and famous writers... often the two come postmortem. Though at least you get to be dug up and buried again.. this time properly. X

(Sorry Joe still didn't pick out my three lines... couldn't be arsed reading my own words another time. i will though... i think I would have picked just one of the three you chose.... the first one. X)

Shane Levene said...

Hey O Claudia... No paella in your ghetto?! Fuck, that is bad. We're lucky over here on the continent... got it easy. Yes, definitely a great camaraderie and solidarity amongst poor folk. Any beggar will tell you that the poorer someone is the more generous they are with the little they've got. Still, it'd be nice to have a few dollars for a little while... just long enough to have a good and easy time but not long enough to kill yourself with it. XxX

Shane Levene said...

Hey Sabine... you should have said 'Floorless' .. that'd be more like it. First they take the ceiling, and then the walls and then the floor... that's when things get really fucked up. X

JoeM said...

I just saw this - although I tick 'Send follow-up comments to my email'.

Fave Smiths:

How Soon is Now
There is a Light that Never goes out
Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now
Girlfriend in a Coma
Sheila Take a Bow

Fave Moz solo singles:

First of the Gang to Die
I'm throwing my arms around Paris

I could list another dozen based just on fabulous titles - eg:
I have forgiven Jesus

'I'm really exhausted wondering at what point in my text the electricity is gonna get snipped'.

Oh God yes there comes a point when it just is more trouble than it's worth. I mean I don't believe in the Romance of Poverty at all. At some point dealing with the welfare services etc becomes a full-time job in itself, with all the attendant wankers you have to deal with day in day out. I just try to work as little as possible to survive comfortably. When I was on unemployment it wasn't nearly enough - despite what all those Tory Toffs who decry the 'Welfare Spongers' think. I got less a week than they would spend on a meal out. A lot less. Working part-time I just about break even.

Good luck on making money from writing! I suggest journalism - maybe do weekly bits from the blog for The Gaurdian or something. You could publish them there first then online. I can't see them complaining since the papers are fish and chip papers a few days after publication.

When I wrote for Gay Times in the 90s I made as much for one 4 page article - £200 - as I got for the first half of advance for the novel!

Speaking of writing - any idea what's happening with the Loki mag? Last I heard there were 'big changes'. That was in April when the latest mag was supposed to come out.

Anonymous said...

Hi Shane, at first I was a bit confused by the anecdotes not directly related to the paella, but having read the piece twice I get it. Upon first reading I wondered why were you eating that horrendous-sounding meal all alone? I thought the woman who was concerned about bathing and such was going to be having dinner with you, until I realized her story wasn't (directly) related to the paella disaster. The thought of you eating that mushy mess all alone (and then being sick all alone) just made me sad. For all your snarky, seemingly-misanthropic observations about people (which are always spot-on), I can infer from other pieces that you have a big heart and I truly hope you find a woman someday who can appreciate that, and you, exactly as you are. Sometimes living in the shit is a little less shitty with a good person at your side.

Lara said...

God, I love your writing. It's like nothing else.
x x

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

THANK YOU Lara... it always means a lot. I survive on people like you reading and giving such feedback. All My Thoughts, Shane. X

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Unknown said...

Love this Shane, so much of it rings true. Drying clothes on the bar heater, I used to turn my bar fire on its back in my old squat and cook over it.. put saucepans of beans on the metal grill. haha. I was still stamping up and down on the black clothes (with the film of blue and gold grease on the top) in the bath, then ringing out in the bath handle.. brilliant.. who knew this was weird until I read this.. not saying you're weird of course ;)
You're not a misanthrope either, being a poor heroin addict is something I did too for 20 years until it nearly killed me, there is some beauty in it.. somewhere, you always seem to find and write it in such a wonderful way. I've missed reading you.

Big love my friend,

Sid (Gary)

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