The Wedding Ring Conundrum

wedding-rings-on-black-handswedding-rings-and-hands-black-4iwwiixrI turned on the news this morning and was amazed, as usual, to hear what is making headlines. There seems to be a lot of talk about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner still wearing their wedding rings. As if it’s anyone’s business or a big deal. Who cares if they’re wearing giant, one-eyed parrots on their shoulders? But, it made me ponder the whole wedding ring conundrum. Personally, I don’t wear mine very much. If there’s an occasion and I’m dressing up I will put it on, or I’ll wear it for a few weeks and then put it away for a month. It just depends on my mood. What annoys me is when other people think it’s disrespectful or trashy not to wear one when you’re married. My comeback to them is, does wearing the ring make me more married? Am I only married when I’m wearing it? I know guys who cheat while wearing their wedding ring, and women, for that matter. Is it against some law of married conduct not to wear a ring? Who made up such a conduct?

With the Ben and Jen crisis going on:) I thought I’d take a look at the origin of the infamous wedding rings. It seems they date back many centuries ago in Europe. You see, 3,000 years ago, in ancient Egypt, during the engagement period, the man and woman would each wear a ring, usually made of a reed. It was a symbol of eternity, signifying their never ending love for one another. When they married, the two rings were then joined by a braid and the woman fashioned it on her left ring finger, where they believed a vein was housed, leading directly to the heart. (I feel my heart swoon just imagining the romanticism of it all:))

That was the single ring ceremony; the double ring ceremony is used in the United States. And until the 20th century, only women wore them. Then came a push to have men wear the rings, as well. Perhaps another gimmick to sell more jewelry, or the fact that equality was being attempted. After the wedding, the rings are worn on the fourth finger to display the couple’s external love for one another. It has become tradition and etiquette to do so. My feeling, as expressed in an earlier post, is that I don’t need a ring to show someone my love and devotion. Therefore, you will not find a ring at all times on my finger. I find it crazy that the media and fans of Ben and Jen are so wrapped up about the sight of their rings in the midst of their divorce. Divorce specialists, whomever they are, note that the power couple are sending a message to the public and to their children that they are united in their desire to co-parent. And, they think wearing a ring is going to do this? Who cares what the world thinks? Furthermore, do they think the ring has magical powers? Perhaps if they took their vows to heart, none of the outwardly crap would matter. “Till death do us part,” right? I don’t need a ring to remind myself of who I married or the fact that I am married. My morality guides me, not a piece of metal.

On a separate note, I probably would totally wear the ring all the times, if it had been a braid of the two of ours in which we wore singularly as an engaged couple. Now that’s romantic. Bling is not.