Woody Allen

The point of every Woody Allen film now seems to be a masturbatory fantasy of "old man screws young woman" nonsense:

The film critic David Thomson has described Allen as “a major-league fantasist, in which he is the central figure,” adding that “his mingling with attractive actors and actresses has been an immense fantasy inspiration to him.” Irrational Manfantasizes about murder, but also, less intriguingly, about its protagonist being an object of extraordinary desire to everyone he meets. The news of his arrival on campus is buzzed about by students and teachers alike. “I hear he has affairs with his students,” says one young woman excitedly, while an older professor remarks that the appointment will “put some Viagra in the philosophy department.” Upon arrival, Lucas has the charisma and heavy-lidded, wackadoodle charm of Phoenix, but he’s also a mess—overweight, sweaty, and inebriated. Still, neither his washed-up appearance nor the uninspired nature of his classes (“Philosophy is verbal masturbation,” he tells his students) seems to lessen his appeal.

Perhaps I am oversimplifying things, but how does that succeed as art when the vast majority of Woody Allen films are never seen by the public? Who goes to see these films? How do they end up being revered such as they are?

I apologize for asking dumb questions, but I am a man of simple ideas and thoughts and I have no fucking clue why anyone would bother engaging with a Woody Allen film? Does the world have an endless supply of attractive young women who only want to sleep with aging, insufferable men?

If it does, shame on the morality police for not doing more to stop Woody Allen characters from soiling the future hotties of this country.

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