In-deli-ble comic
[[Mo ordering from a deli counter, "Now serving" sign says 133]] Mo: Half a pound of american cheese, please. Deliman Dale: White or yellow. Mo: I want the good stuff. Give me the white. [[Mo being handed his half pound of cheese]] Woman: Sorry to interrupt, but I can't in good conscience allow you to call [[italics]]that[[italics]] cheese. Woman: Let alone "the good stuff." [[Displaying certificate]] Mo: Who died and made you Queen of Cheese? Woman: I'll have you know, I'm acting head of the U.S. Cheese Society. My certificate... Mo: And who gave you that? Woman: Me. [[Mo walking away, this panel serves as a beat.]] Deliman Dale: One-thirty-four! Woman: Give me a pound of your finest bologna.

6/12/11 4:55AM

Did y’all catch the metaphor for Asian American race relations in the first panel? In all seriousness, this comic’s poke at elitism is the closest we’ve ever come to real social commentary. Well, except for that time we invented all those penis names. That was DEEP.

I’ve long scoffed at those poor souls older than, say, 5 who still consider american cheese of any color edible. I had, however, been led to believe that for those who consume it, white american was somehow the more respectable choice. It was all lies. Luckily, further confusion was averted as there’s nothing nice to say about any kind of bologna.



6/12/11 5:47AM

We’d originally intended to refer to an actual cheese authority, but using “American Cheese Society” would have made the strip confusing, and I’m sure you can see why. In anger over the inconvenience, we issued the following email to their public relations correspondent:

Dear Christine,

I’m wondering why you named your institution after the worst of all cheeses. Technically, American Cheese isn’t even cheese at all. Why not call yourselves “The US Cheese Society,” so as to maintain some semblance of respectability?

I expected things to end there, assuming such an attack wouldn’t warrant a response. I was wrong.

Dear William,

I invite you to look around our website and you will see that the founder of our organization, Dr. Frank Kosikowski, Professor Emeritus of Dairy Sciences at Cornell saw much more in American cheese than the sliced single. Today, we represent Artisan, Farmstead and specialty cheeses and supporting cheese community from throughout the Americas. You can attend our upcoming conference in Montreal, August 1-4 to learn more.

I responded in turn:

Dear Christine,

If you represent just the United States and Canada, then you should call yourselves “The North American Cheese Alliance.” If Central and South America are part of your coalition, then I recommend “The Western Hemisphere Cheese Group.” Anything to distance yourself from the “processed cheese product” (so labeled because American Cheese does not typically meet the legal definition of cheese in many jurisdictions) that your current name recalls.

Needless to say, I have yet to hear from Christine a second time. Her email address is chyatt@cheesesociety.org, and I encourage you all to email her new name suggestions for her cheese society. Nipples points for anyone who gets any kind of response.