Moment by Moment

My Dear Haddie Sue,   5 Years.  I remember in the early days after losing you I didn’t think I could survive the next moment without you.  It hurt to breath, to think, it hurt to exist without you.  Many days the pain was so great that the only thing I looked forward to was

A little bit Selfish

To MY daughter Haddie Bo Bo, I know it's been awhile since I have written.  But know that you are in my mind all the time.  Literally....ALL THE TIME. This will be our 4th Christmas without you.  Just typing that out I can feel my eyes start to fill and the blood drain from

I dream

Dedication Day at church Haddie Bo Bo, I'm a dreamer.  I always have been. When you dream of what your future might hold you dream big.  At least I did.  You think about your dream job, your dream house, the family you will have.  You dream about the places you will travel and

Seeing You Hurts

Haddie Bo Bo,   It almost seems like a sin to say but today I saw a video of you and at first I looked away.  Then realizing what I did I forced my self to look at your face and stare into your eyes.  It hurt to see you so alive, moving, and babbling. 

What is this thing called “peace”?

Dear Haddie Bo Bo: What is this thing called "peace"? Does it really exist? How do you find it? I see people who have also been chosen to live this journey of losing and child and they seem to be at peace.  Maybe I am wrong and they aren't at peace.  Is it a choice?