Monday, May 30, 2005

Memorial Day memories

I need to take a few minutes to thank a few veterans in my life for their sacrifice...

You were a shy country boy from up a holler when you were sent to Vietnam. You ended up becoming Forrest Gump. As a scout you looked for booby traps and retrieved pieces of bodies of kids your age to send home. When you came home yourself, you were almost shattered. You preservered. And in middle age, you married my mother. You have been the only true father figure I have ever had. I thank you.

You were a kid from a upper middle class family from Virginia. You joined the Air Force because you knew the Army would draft you the next week. You went to Vietnam to be cook, and had to fight when the Tet Offensive came knocking at your kitchen door. You came home also a troubled, restless man. You married my mother first, and engendered me. You drug us all over the country looking for a greener pasture. Then you abandoned us, actually me, to the emotional abuse of my mother's family. I found you again 22 years later. I rarely talk to you but you have righted your life and gave me mine. I thank you.

You were 21 years old when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. Three years later you were in the Pacific going from island to island to fight them. You were one of the first soldiers to step into Hiroshima, dressed only in summer fatigues, unaware of what radiation was. You were wounded, and got the Purple Heart and the Bronze Star. You came back to Eastern Kentucky to marry a little teenage girl with Rheumatic fever who needed your medical benefits. You ended up having 11 children with that little girl, and are still married to her now, 58 years later. One of those children is my mother. I never got along with you, I still don't, but I do love and respect you. Thank you.

You were a career Air Force man who flew bombing missions in Viet Nam while your family waited for you in the Philippines. During the Tet Offensive, you risked your life to keep flying into the combat zone to evacuate soldiers using a airstrip half blown away. For that, you got the Silver Star. You retired a Lieutenant Colonial, and raised your family, with my aunt your wife, contented in a job well done. Thank you.

You went into the Army at the age of 19 for college money. You learned how to fly Chinook helicopters, and to maintenance them, probably too well. You flew combat missions in Panama. You flew combat missions in Somalia. You flew combat missions in Desert Storm, where you had friends die in front of you. You went to Afghanistan, then Iraq keep the Chinooks flying. You have 5 combat patches and a year of service left to go before you retire. You think George W. Is a genius, you poor deluded thing. For keeping your boots on and back to the wall, I thank you.

You went into the Navy for a better life. You became a corpsman, then started working with the Marines. You traveled around the world. Somewhere on this journey you met The Dragon, then started dancing with him, almost to your ruin and the cost of your life. You left the Navy in a way that you wish you could change, so much so you even mentioned going back in to right the wrong. I love you for showing me what true courage is. Thank you baby.

And thank you to all the service men and women who put your life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness on the line second by second. You serve voluntarily to protect what this country truly stands for, even if the Commander in Chief who sends you into harms way is unworthy to send you there. I thank you.

Mi-Su .:. Sexual Aesthestics... or "Rich people need love too"

I truly thought I had seen it all, until my friend Scott sent me a link to a unique web site

This site is exclusively for sex toys for the idle rich made out of obscenely expensive materials. You can get a dildo made out of titanium and covered in gems and precious metals for $2000. Butt plugs made out of semi-precious stone go for $600. My personal fave was the rose quartz butt plug. All I can say is this: it must be nice having the disposable income for this stuff.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Jenna Jamison's words of wisdom



a. 'I'll just put the head in'

b. ' So does this mean im not getting any'



e. 'my friends will never believe this'



h. ' these sex toys are basically new'

i. ' We have to be quiet my mothers sleeping'


k. ' I swear the camera isn't on'



n. 'its not contagious anymore'



Wednesday, May 25, 2005

A very subtle explosion

I was really all set for depression today, as I was in 2003 and 2004. Like the previous two years, I awoke well aware of what day it was, and about what had happened 9 years before. But I felt the shift instantly. This had become like any other day. Work was as boring and mundane as it always was. I only mentioned once what today once meant to me, after seeing an engaged coworker's newly delivered wedding bands. I thought I would come home and watch the video for the first time since John died. The funny thing was I had no urge to now. Before, I was desperate to watch it, but too scared to. Instead I came home and power walked, then talked to Daniel for a long time on the phone. In the moment I listened to his voicemail I knew what had happened. I had come full circle.
John and I had two weddings, a handfasting in Sept 1995, and a legal full wedding on May 25, 1996. I always considered the former one the true anniversary, the the second one was the nightmare, overdone wedding most women want. I never thought I would reach the day where I could remember this day fondly but without a twinge of sadness. But that is indeed what happened today. I realize now that I have finished the grieving process, and a new love has entered my life. I am now more interested in the life ahead with Daniel than the live behind with John. Daniel and I have know each other for only 2 months and I am realistic enough to know that it is too soon to think about handfasting. But the potential is there, and that makes a future.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Kiss running goodbye

Well it has come to the point that I must bid running a sad farewell. A few weeks ago my doctor told me the ultimate warning that my hips and knees would not stand much more punishment. So I decided today on a long power walk that running was over for me. I am sad about this, since I did like the challenge. I can still get my heart rate up just as high with walking, so that's going to be it for me. There were some accomplishments I had in running: I did 2 5k's. Maybe one day when I can get the weight off it will be better for me and I might try again...who knows.

Sexual astrology public service announcement

LOL This was just published on a friends site, and with his permission I post it here. Go ahead, see where you and your lover stands! PS...Im a cancer :P

Jan 21 - Feb 19
Ruling Planet: URANUS

The God of unexpected sexual twists and turns. Aquarians make much
better friends than lovers, but when a typical Aquarian gets some
bang-bang, it's more an intellectual experience than an emotional
one. Looks aren't important to Aquarians in a relationship, it's the
mind and spirit of a lover that turns Aquarius on.

They are very entertaining in bed and are probably the most
inventive of all the signs. Mental stimulation is more important to
them than physical, which means that pornography gets them hot!

Aquarians are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying. They
are very particular about hygiene and contraception and sleeping
around holds little interest for them.

Mutual masturbation.

some fun with this.

5am. He's into 3somes, swinging or open relationships if YOU are
involved. He'll do that for fun, but YOU are the only love of his

She's looking for a lover who will be upfront with her, but until
freaks her out. She likes keeping her emotions under tight control

stroke the ankles and the calves. Don't tickle for giggles, but
all around. Anywhere above the foot and below the knee is fair game.
laughter from tickles, it's a release of tension that will most
definitely lead to some action!

Feb 20 - March 20
Ruling Planet: NEPTUNE

The God in charge of delicious dreams, dangerous deceptions and
sexual fantasies Sexually speaking, Pisces is putty in your hands.
secret moan zones, then Pisces is for you!

Music also gets them in the mood.

One of their least appetizing traits is their ability to become
tale romance that they ruin the happy ending themselves.

Pisces is all about Oral affections!


can be a bit flighty.


She needs romance. It's the very air that she breathes. She needs to
between the sheets action, she's never happy doing the same ol',
same ol' when she knows there are more exciting options at hand.

The Pisces Zesty-zone is their feet! If you want to make Pisces your
their feet firmly through the water. Use kneading motions that run
and lightly massage peppermint oil all over their feet, paying close

March 21-April 20
Ruling Planet: MARS

The bonk now/think later God of War, aggression and action!
Sexually, Aries is an explosion waiting to happen! The
excitement is often in the chase more than the actual conquest
so if you're only comfortable with the missionary position, go for
another sign, but if you like forceful personalities and enjoy
pretending you're a human Twistie, then you've found
paradise with an Aries.

Always on top and always in charge

Handcuffs! Like I said, Aries likes to take charge!

The Aries male is loud, domineering and 100% stud! He's from
the bump n grind school of lovemaking so if you're looking for
romantic dinners by candlelight and long walks on the beach, keep
likes sex fast and furious baby!

She views sex as more of a physical act than something from a soppy
KINK to her personality so don't get freaked out when she talks
are you man enough to handle her?

hair is an awesome starting point! And licking and nibbling around
your saliva at bay. Drool is not cool!

April 21 - May 21
Ruling Planet: VENUS

The Goddess in charge of love, beauty and sex. Taureans are
including sensuality, loyalty and faithfulness. When a typical
Taurus makes love, it's the most physical and natural pleasure in
the world. They believe the romantic approach to sex almost always
and take everything, including sex, slowly.

The one Taurus enjoys most is the Missionary. Some may say this is
so unadventurous, but Taurus is very practical and this is the most

A battery powered "erotic massager"

things slow and gently and can last for hours,
always waiting for HER to finish before rolling over to sleep.

She is great at back massages and sex in general. She makes an art

There's nothing Taurus enjoys more than having their neck
kissed and their earlobes nibbled. Light, feathery caresses up and
female writhe with delight and a male stand at attention within

May 22 - June 21
Ruling Planet: MERCURY

ultra-extreme raunchy talk. Talking about sex is Gemini's favorite
lap up attention from the opposite sex, but sometimes that's all

come up for air if they need to.

Any illustrated book about kinky sex, so Gemini can pick up
some wild, new ideas.


She is more interested in IQ than private parts. If she can't
respect the intellect, then satisfaction is not possible for her.

are so sensitive that even having their fingernails played with
lollipop. I'll almost offer a money back guarantee on this one

June 22 - July 23
Ruling Planet: THE MOON

Which isn't a planet at all but the satellite responsible for this
Cancer often feels a little bit guilty after doing the deed because
they usually associate sex with babies, especially the women, who
All Cancers WANT to be parents! Cancers become sexually excited when

Any position that's comfortable and involves Cancer lying flat on
their back with all their sensitive areas exposed!


he's a BREAST man!!

She oozes sexiness and is born to mate!! Compliments and

Concentrate on the breasts and pecs of Cancer to really get
them going. Start by kissing and brushing up against them.
Licking the Cancer female's nipple through her top will excite her,

you'll have him bouncing off the walls in no time!

July 24 - August 23
Ruling Planet: THE SUN

Which isn't a planet at all, but a star, and just like Leo's
opinion of themselves, it's the center of our solar system! Leos can
make their partner feel special, it's just that they often forget
it's a show!

They like to perform... and they take requests! "Doing it" is the
but they need constant praise for their outstanding performance.

Receiving 'oral affections', since Leo is all about getting

A camera, or a game of Strip Poker will get the cat purring or
perhaps you can use them both together!

effort or you will pad off to your next Lioness!!

You are elegant and sexy without even trying. Men love you and women
most men. You adore raw sex, so your
lifetime experience!

scratch, coz if there's one thing cats love, it's a scratch!

snakey pattern on Leo's back. Then rub all over. Keep doing this
control. YOU decide when it's time to 'flip your feline' over and
get into the good stuff!

August 24 - September 23
Ruling Planet: Mercury

The God in charge of intellect and speed... but don't worry
because Virgo likes to take their time in the sack!! Virgos have two
you to THINK they are all sweet and
relationship for awhile, they get engrossed in housework and things

Almost anything, as long as it involves eye contact!

It's more of a game. Write down five wild sex acts and put them in a
told!! Virgo LOVES spontaneous sexuality!

You can be quite boring at times because you have set views on how a
perfectionist ways may drive your lover loopy! You DO have some
passion! You are a creature of habit, so if your lover can get you

You are hardworking and careful about your appearance, but you
romantic and crave the perfect lover. Since the perfect lover
beneath that practical exterior and are just waiting for someone to
unearth it!

Virgo's have a VERY sexually sensitive tummy!! If you wanna
them squirming, you can have anything you want!! Just

September 24 - October 23
Ruling Planet: Venus

The planet in charge of beauty, love peace, and stirring
sensuality Libra is one of the sexiest signs in the zodiac, but if
two! They are notorious for having double standards in that
me, cuz I would never do it to you", even when they have a hot night
of passion planned with someone else! Librans are more turned
selfish sign of the Zodiac.

Libras are not very open about their thoughts or fantasies. They'd
you exactly what they want.

As long as they are lying down, they're happy!

K.Y. Jelly. I will say no more!

The Libra man sees sex as an exciting adventure and he'd be
suffer from Premature Ejaculation!

The only thing that separates Libra men and women is what's
between their legs! Libra girl wants a strong man who
understands that she needs her individuality and freedom. She is
turned off by burping, farting, and bad breath.. Good personal

squeeze and pat your Libra's butt whenever you get a chance.
surprise you that a high percentage of Libras are gay?

October 24 - November 22
Ruling Planet: PLUTO

The Roman God of the dead, beginnings and endings. Which
basically means that Scorpios add novel differences to any
relationship. Scorpios are very possessive. They will tense up if
The dirtier, the better. Get them excited by rvealing your filthiest
fantasy and offering to act it out.

Anything, as long as it involves dominating your ass.


satisfied!! There's a rumour that the Scorpio man is the most
skilled in bed. It's as true as a black man has a giant wang!!! Most
Every little thing u do that he doesn't like, he will file away in
will wreak his revenge!!!

piss her off either, cuz she can more vengeful than a Scorpio man,
women, or play hard to get, because she will get you back, and it's
a game of one-upmanship you will never win.


November 23 - December 22
Ruling Planet: JUPITER

of is that Sagos like to talk BULLSHIT! Don't believe everything
a one-nighter with them, be prepared to do stuff you've NEVER done
before! Sagos are spontaneous and adventurous and most have probably
been caught doing it somewhere public. When they find the right

They are up for anything. Quality AND Quantity.

You'll be surprised at what happens next!

sexual expertise or be absolute trash in bed!

The Sago woman is a handful! She changes her mind more
offense at the strangest things. She's adventurous in the bedroom
But can u handle her open-minded sexuality? She will hide her
hypocritical since she can be very untrustworthy herself.

Hips and thighs are extremely sensual for a Sago, so
concentrate on massaging and stroking that area and the place in
cuz they would LOVE to tell you! The best way to get them going is
to grope their inner thigh in a public place!

December 23 - January 20
Ruling Planet: SATURN

The God who oversees time, discipline and dedication, which
bed and beyond!! Capricorns are very good at hiding their emotions,
night if they want to!


An office desk to "bond" on, or an erotic video will loosen up the
randy goat.

Imagination isn't a strong suit for Capricorn so don't expect
has committed to you.

She is strong and confident and likes to run the show! She's a tough
locations, so experiment with different venues to keep it

them squirming.

Sunday, May 22, 2005


I was lying in bed with Daniel on Wednesday when the phone rang, about 4:45 PM. I looked at the caller ID and this is what it said: SCAD. I had to answer it. The caller answered like this,"Hi Ms. (my name removed to protect), this is {} from Savannah College of Art and Design. I just wanted to congratulate you in case you haven't received your acceptance letter yet......" I don't remember much more about the call. The feeling of stupefied disbelief was just too much to bear. I just began to cry. My lifelong dream of attending SCAD had come true. How the hell I got accepted is beyond me. My college grades have been uneven at best. But now, here I am, accepted to one of the best art school in the nation and now paying for it is the only thing standing in my way.

Long long week

I have had a pretty eventful week. Daniel came down Wednesday and we did the whole Star Wars blitz: the midnight showing at the average Lexington Green cinema, and the 6:30 the next day showing at the stellar Hamburg Pavilion. The joy I have felt the past 5 days has been just overwhelming. This has been the longest period of time I have spent with one man for a long time. The fact that we didn't kill each other actually proves we have a future, a real one. He is very forgiving of my many shortcomings, and for that I am grateful. We went to the Rocker's party this weekend as well, and it was fun to see his reaction to wholesale nudity and depravity. Daniel is rather shy, and had some problems talking to some of the women there. I didn't play myself because he didn't. It would not have been fair. We spent today just making love and downloading stuff. Now is the time we will start to try to figure out how to merge our lives I think, especially since I got some pretty momentous news Wednesday.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Open letter to Renee Zellweger (tongue in cheek)

Dear Stupid Cunt:
What the Hell are you thinking?!? For two years you had the most sublime example of the male gender on this planet, and you threw him away. For what: cornpone country cock. Jesus woman, I would kill and maim anything or anyone in my path for 5 MINUTES with Jack White, and you dropped him like a used tampon. He is everything that is brilliant and magical, and you didn't want him. So lets break this down: you dump Heaven, then date Damien Rice for about a nanosecond. Along comes Kenny Chesney, and you up and marry the guy after only 4 months. Hmmm three men in 8 months. Smells like desperation. Hearing that biological clock ticking are we dear? 36 and never been married kinda scare you?
But that's ok..go ahead and enjoy it while it lasts. Meanwhile, Ill be dialing Satan for a chance to heal Jacks heart, Bitch.

Monday, May 09, 2005


It is no big secret that White Stripes are the band that rock my world. I have had my knickers in a bunch for weeks waiting for the first song of the album to be released..and I wasn't disappointed. Rumor had it Jack had gone soft since going producer. Trust me he's just as fine as ever.

White Stripes - Blue Orchid

You got a reaction
You got a reaction didn't, you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid turned it blue

Something better than nothing
Something better than nothing, it's giving up
We all need to do something
Try keep the truth from showing up

How dare you
How old are you now, anyway?
How dare you
How old are you now, anyway?

You're given a flower
But I guess there's just no pleasing you
Your lips tastes sour
But you think that it's just me teasing you

You got a reaction
You got a reaction, didn't you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid turned it blue

Get behind me
Get behind me now, anyway
Get behind me
Get behind me now, anyway

You got a reaction
You got a reaction, didn't you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid turned it blue

Monday, May 02, 2005

Cool Band Alert!!

I got an IM from a member of the band Perigee (, a unit out of Connersville, IN. I went to the website to check them out, and I was quite impressed. They have three songs you can check out, my personal fave was "Happy". If you like original bands that rock, these guys are for you. I look forward to seeing them at The Dame this summer hopefully.

Career: Band / Ensemble
Genre: Rock, Top 40, Alternative
Repertoire: Original
Contact: (765) 821 - 2108
Website: n/a
Location: United States of America - IN - 47331

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Beltane and an "oh Shit" moment part I

Daniel came down to spend time with me on Friday night, so he could take me and the bar set up to another Prestonsburg swing party. Mr. Cool was having domestic problems, and wanted us to take the bar on ahead in case he couldn't make it (he ended up not making it). We ended up going to Yamamoto's for dinner, since he hadn't been to a Japanese steak house in a while. Even though my asthma was killing me and I kept coughing, it was a glorious meal. It had been so very very long since I had went out with someone I had so much pent up passion and affection for. He was attentive and affectionate and funny and tender. We then went over to Mr. Cool's and sat in his hot tub in the rain with a bottle of Asti Spumanti, one of the truest romantic moments I've ever had. The rest of the night consisted of lovemaking and downloading music from my personal collection. The next day we went to the party. I sat up the bar after a few hours and the party was on. I told myself I could not be selfish with him, and I told him he was free to play with others. So he did and I bartended. I didn't feel mad or deprived at all. I was actually pleased at my open mindedness. The party was awesome and the tips were good and friends were all around. I went to our cabin after I closed the bar after 1 am, and he came up there to make sure I was ok and to neck. I told him it was fine for him to go back to the party since I was so tired. He sounded guilty I wasn't playing too, but I reminded him of why I wasn't: I was on my period, and I only really wanted to play with him by my choice. So I talked with some of our cabin mates for an hour then went to bed.

The trouble started at 6 am. I woke up to realize my friend Antoine had passed out in bed beside me and was snoring my ears off. Not Daniel. I got up and went to the other empty bed. I felt achy from the fatigue and the asthma and allergies. Then I felt it: jealousy. I was disappointed he wasn't with me, but someone else. The OH Shit moment had arrived. I knew then I was falling in love with him. And there was nothing I could do to stop it even if I wanted to. So I cried, both for the fact that I had let myself become vunerable again, and out of guilt for feeling jealous...

Beltane and an "oh Shit" moment part II

I realized it was Beltaine, so I decided to do my ceremony to ask for guidance. It went something like this," Dearest Mother Aphrodite (my patroness), please guide me to see that I do not need to feel insecure about Daniel. Please help me to see that what we feel for each other is real, and is right and good to pursue. Please give me a sign as to where this I all going and how I should go further...". I then heard the front door of the cabin open, and two people entered. One was female and really drunk. Daniel walked in to see if there was an empty bed. There wasn't so he left her on the couch. He then came to bed and sounded so sorry he hadn't been there, but he was taking care of a friend who showed up after I had left and had gotten wasted. Then he held me tight, and told me his feelings were getting really really deep for me and did I feel the same. My response was that I was glad he said it because I wanted to say the same thing. We held each other, and it was like coming home, and like answered prayers.