At home in the house of a dictator – What happened to Oman?

In 1970 the current Sultan took over the empire. Threw his father from the throne, giving back hope to the population of Oman. He is at the top of the army and justice, gives positions to political figures. The man who stands above law and country. A dictator from the book. Sultan Qaboos bin Said Al Said.

When I was told that I was going to live in Oman, the least you could say is that I was surprised. It is a Muslim country, located close to Dubai and my transportation to the office probably was going to be a donkey or a camel. I honestly didn’t know what more to expect. What do people do in the weekends? Do I always have to wear a hijab? Is it safe? Can I do business with men or will they look down on female business relations? I gathered my prejudices with the speed of a Formula1 racer.

Coming from Africa where people dance on the streets, no privacy is known and poverty isn’t unknown, you get dropped in the Middle East. It’s not unusual to park your car between two Lamborghini’s, walk into a shopping mall that impresses you more than the palace of Queen Elisabeth. High ceilings, white marble floors, people looking perfectly fine at all times and a guaranteed job for the local goldsmith. It is said to be impressive.

Oman is the most safe country I’ve ever been to. Not only the country but also the people are unbelievably warm. It is, like the Netherlands, a trading country. As a result that both are used to other cultures, but with the big difference that Oman receives foreigners with open arms. It did not take long before I had planned my first dinner at the home of an Omani family. The whole table was covered with camel meat, lobster soup and dates salad. The local people will do everything they can to make sure that you’re not missing out on anything, that you learn and understand their culture and it will soon come to your attention that all your prejudices are based on nothing. It will take little effort to build a life here, fully integrated into the community.

Still almost every day my jaw drops. The daily business is so different from what is known. I wanted to talk to strangers, taste the globe, inhale other cultures deeply, my world just a little bigger than the nearest neighbors. Who can tell me that my mission has not been successful?

Nevertheless, no matter how friendly people are, above all they are always correct, at the tip of their toes. There is a clear distinction between husband and wife, but who truly has the loudest voice? Women occupy top positions and the government has set up full programs to encourage this; equality between man and woman, poor and rich. The big difference with Westerners is that Omani men are sincerely convinced that they should take care of their woman. Which doesn’t goes unnoticed. Carry my groceries myself? Dream On. When I look for my car at one of the immense parking lots, I will always be asked for the license number, can keep calm in the air conditioning and the random person is looking for your car. Are you still standing in the outside heat? Then you will soon be given a bottle of water. Are you lost and you ask someone for directions? One will drive ahead of you to guide you to the destination, even though the journey is over 60 minutes. Afterwards showing your gratitude is not appreciated because as long as they are sure that you have everything you were looking for, they will be home peacefully. This applies not only to me, as a tall Dutch blonde, every woman may feel familiar with this indulgence.

On the other hand, one must request permission from the Ministry of Islamic Affairs for marriage. A process that takes time and gives men the possibility to happily share their most person fish, where the Ministry will investigate if there is any progeny in the pipeline. Fortunately, this is no longer necessary when you get married to your second, third or so on woman. A one-time tax. Individuality is a luxury which is unknown. Everything is about the name of the family, the position of yourself, but also your father or brothers, the tribe you come from. If your last name has reached a peak position, egoism will no longer appear in your personal dictionary. Where you have to bear the consequences for the choices you make, this is a whole tribe of families who are confronted with the outcome of your discretion. You can get a prison sentence for showing affection in public and if you want to buy a beer you will have to apply for an alcohol license, a lost game for Muslims. As Omani you are not welcome to government buildings without the traditional clothing and given it’s a Sultanate, there is hardly a way around. Everything is controlled strictly with the perfect example that Skype or anything alike is forbitten. Nevertheless, one has generally nested between all the rules and traditions. Should you think this is tiring and do you believe that no person can put you under so much control? Just read on then.

Children are curious and there will be no father nor mother in dispute when their children ask why I don’t wear a headscarf. If I explain this, the parents encourage. Knowledge is power and little is more important than understanding why people are different. How the Western world looks at Muslims is a topic that people often want to discuss. They all have a common reasoning. Extremists are not Muslims and because of the lack of education combined with the endless freedom given to people, there is hate. They share the general fear and opinion about the Islamic State and can hardly live with the wrong image that has arisen worldwide about a person who believes there can be more between heaven and earth. For these reasons, there is strict control by government and community. The condemnation of people or cultural aspects is absolutely not appreciated and the indication of hatred or the intrusion of religious fiction is directly penalized, with endless examples. This turnaround happened in 1970. The Sultan installed himself on his cold throne and made this country a pleasant home away from home. He provided development and international relations, resulting in economic growth. Where his father had created a frontier between different tribes, Sultan Qaboos created cohabitation and made this a standard for everyone to pursue. Before 1970 there was an evening clock for women, people couldn’t leave the boundaries of their village, let alone the country. Military uniforms controlled the streets. Born in Oman or not, anyone who has researched Oman a bit longer than one heartbeat will understand that this dictator made the impossible possible. Thankful for his dedication and love for the country, everyone here will follow the wishes of their “Father of the Country” with all possible respect. Where my cradle was in a country that does not even remember its independence, over here a fresh wound was closed with surgical precision.

Today I escaped from all luxury and went camping. A tiny tent in the middle of the desert. A small oil lamp is burning behind me and the Milky Way seems quite busy. Idyllic and nostalgic I sit down on a sheep’s woolen blanket. Recently, I was able to sit beside Prince Charles and enjoy a concert in an opera building so beautiful that it would take your breath away. In the mornings I go sailing or snorkeling with dolphins. In the afternoons I go out for a barbecue in the mountains. Through my work, I get familiarized with people who guide me to places that will always stay unknown to most. But well, if the mountain doesn’t come to Mohammed…