The Sexiest Woman Alive 2007: Part Three

This month, Shirley MacLaine talks metaphysics and compares our mystery woman to a good dessert.
Sheryl Nields


Who is the Sexiest Woman Alive?
A mystery in four parts.

Clue #1: "She drinks gin.

Clue #2: "She towers over everybody."

You are reading clue #3:

The Mystery Revealed.


In one more month, the Sexiest Woman Alive will be divulged to all, confirming the hunches of the keenest guessers and humbling the many who've wagered incorrectly. But first, one final adumbration from legendary actress Shirley MacLaine, who met the mystery woman two years ago at a party, where they developed a mutual admiration. When you're as sweet as MacLaine, making friends is easy.

Did you know XXXXXXXX is the sexiest woman alive?

How does that work?

It's a very scientific process.

God, is the whole world a game now?

So how often do you speak?

I'd say at least twice a month. We talk quite a bit about the trials and tribulations of producing. Being a woman, an actress, and a producer.

Did you have any advice for her on that subject?

No, she had advice for me: Just follow the money [laughs]. I've called her about specific people I'm thinking of working with, and she's always very honest. Not too many people are that honest in this town, because they don't want it to get back to them.

And what do you clue her in on?

She asks me about longevity. And the metaphysical things. We talk about the science of consciousness. She's read my books.

Did she give you an honest critique of your books?

[Pause.] I don't know how one gives honest critiques on the science of consciousness.

What do you think makes her sexy?

Her talent for friendship.

That's a unique answer.

[Sarcastically.] Oh, thank you. That's the basis of sexual attraction. Any kind of attraction. Dependability.

But, come on...physically speaking.

[Pause.] The dessert she served at her last dinner party.


I can't remember what it was. I can't remember what I ate yesterday. But it was sweet and healthy. That's the way I think of her: sweet and healthy.

Like a good dessert.

[Annoyed.] That's something you would conclude. Not me. She's not "sweet like a good dessert." She's more than that.

Okay. When are the two of you going to work together?

I'd love to. If we had something, it would be immediate. But find some good scripts for women of any age!

Here's an idea: XXXXXXXXXX plays you in The Shirley MacLaine Story.


It's something to think about.

Not really.

A Few Other Things You Probably Didn't Know About the Sexiest Woman Alive

Her name is an anagram of an Australian river, a book by Charles Fort, and the company behind the TV remote.

The first letter of one of her films is represented in Unicode as U+00C6.

English is not her first language.

She shares an artistic passion with Shirley MacLaine other than acting.

She once lost a role to one of the Saved by the Bell kids (not Screech).


Who is the Sexiest Woman Alive?
A mystery in four parts.

Clue #1: "She drinks gin.

Clue #2: "She towers over everybody."

You are reading clue #3:

The Mystery Revealed.

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