Tango Neutralized





~A hail of gunfire ensues~
Solo: “Got him.”
Chizzler: “No, I got him.”
Solo: “Whatever… I nailed his ass.”





Solo: “Where’s Dave?”
McSex: “I think he got a phone call.”
Solo: “Again!?”
Solo: “Yeah, what is with that?”
McSex: “Nobody ever knocks on my door.”








Here’s a textbook example:





Solo: “Oh my god! What was that?”
Chizzler: “Oh.”

7 thoughts on “Tango Neutralized”

  1. Does anybody know where I can become captain of the xbox? Cause McSex somehow managed this title. His voice is even on the breifing missions, recorded directly to the disc. The only thing he missed in the article was the imminent trash talking of one another immediately after they die, no matter who it is, most of the time we love it when McSex actually dies. Nobody know’s why McSex is so good, he doesn’t even work at the post office. And the only thing scarier than McSex coming to work with an M-16, is him writing a long piece on his neutralizing capabilites.

  2. This game is very similar to team sheetrocking. One guy is always out of ammunition [ screws, nails, rock, lumber ] one guy is on the phone [ there is only one phone ] and one guy guy gets to claim all the ” kills ” [ the kills in sheetrocking walls or ceilings that are completed]
    you can get more satisfaction in the sheetrocking game. A “kill” in sheetrocking gives you something that is not only satisfying but you can actually use it. Its value will increase over time.. will those bandaid purple hearts that you wear after after playing your game mean anything next week?
    Matt that was a good article.

  3. I like your Dad’s comment! When I first read that this was going to be about a video game, I thought I wouldn’t enjoy it, but I was laughing out loud, as usual. Thank you, dear boys (alias 3 Stooges), for keeping the world safe from terrorists. Mom

  4. When I fire up my Christbox (I don’t want to water down the religious significance of the machine by using the commericialized Xbox moniker) and load up Rainbow Six, a few things are guaranteed to happen.

    First off, I call McSex and Solo knowing that both of them will drop anything at a moments notice to join me online. Often, in the background noise of the telephone call I will hear dishes shattering, toilets flushing, or, in these days of cell-phones, brakes screeching and rubber peeling. I swear on my Christbox that Solo must have a siren that he puts on the top of his vehicle the second I hang up from him because he is usually at his apartment in two minutes or less. If you’ve ever been to New York, you know what this means. A lot of good, hard-working pedestrians give their lives so that we can go online. Tonight, let us all display our flags at half-mast for them.

    Second, it is a foregone conclusion that the outcome of the game will not reflect on our individual skill levels or abilities. Why you ask? It’s simple human psychology. McSex will immediately puff himself up and give some sort of high school locker room pep talk as if he has been chosen as our team leader. Solo and I will usually groan and proceed with the mission, placating MR in his fantasy, but secretly taking an oath of insubordination. Sometimes that oath means a grenade in the lap, sometimes it’s more subtle. What can I say, war is crazy and it does crazy things to people. The worst kind of authority is that which is taken and not granted.

    Third, it is inevitable that when the night is finished, there will always be “one more.” Every singe time we all play and someone starts the whimpers about having to go to bed, call it quits or otherwise wrap up the night, a simple statement shuts them up. And I’m proud to say it’s usually me who utters the phrase. I just look within myself, adjust my headset, and say those three magic words.

    Alright, one more.

    Then boom, it’s on again.

  5. Matt, let your dad out of the basement periodically.
    Secondly, it’s no wonder Scab and Slayer are always killing McSex with his Fidel Castro-like rule of the game. I’d off your ass too.
    And could we step down from the holy pedistal when it comes to the Xbox.
    Not all of us are genetically modified arachnids with eight arms flailing in five different directions trying to manage the overwhelming difficulty of the Xbox controler.

  6. first off let me say that Booth is really playing with fire taking the christbox’s name in vain. The gaming lords shall strike thee down. Now while I understand the hard drug like lure of endless videogame victories with friends, let me say that you guys are on a whole other level. It makes me so jealous. MR it looks like with this post you have officially earned your spot in the LAMBDA LAMBDA LAMBDA house.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.