6 Reasons Employees Don’t Talk to Their Managers


6 reasons employees don’t talk to their managers:

  1. Cold professional culture. Caring happens outside work.
  2. Talkative managers.
  3. Curiosity about people is rare.
  5. Busyness. People value results over relationships. Shift to results through relationships.
  6. Insecure managers. When managers are uncomfortable, everyone around them is uncomfortable. Tip: Gradually shift your mental focus from worrying about yourself to caring about others.

Information can be shared via email. But connection requires conversation.

7 talking points for a successful one-on-one:

#1. Imagine your best day at work. What are you doing? Not doing?

#2. If your best day at work is a 10, how would you rate your typical day? (“5” represents an average day.)

#3. Why did you choose that number?

#4. What could you do to nudge your number toward 10? (Generate a list of three items.)

#5. Which item would you like to try for the next two weeks?

#6. How could I help? (Only ask this question if you are prepared to help or to find someone who can.)

#7. What would you like me to ask you in our next one-on-one?

3 tips:

  1. Send talking points to employees two or three days before your scheduled one-on-one.
  2. Send an email the day before your one-on-one. “I’m looking forward to our conversation tomorrow.”
  3. Prepare for the one-on-one.
    • Reflect on previous conversations.
    • Remove distractions like phone notifications.
    • Remove physical barriers. You might have the conversation in a neutral location or their office.
    • List five qualities/skills you admire about the person before they arrive.


Successful managers seek feedback. Choose one of the following questions at the end of your one-on-one.

  1. How might our next one-on-one be a little better than this one?
  2. If I listened better, what would be true?

Why don’t employees talk to managers?

What talking points would make for successful one-on-ones?