All kids need to learn about showing other people empathy. However, understanding others' feelings and points of view isn't always easy. Fortunately, teaching your child empathy can be a fun, enlightening process for both of you. By using examples from everyday life, playing educational games and activities, and modeling empathy, you can help your child learn to treat all people with kindness and respect.

Method 1 of 3:
Teaching Children About Emotions

  1. 1
    Help your child learn how to talk about their feelings. When your child is happy, sad, or angry, tell them which emotion they’re experiencing. Explain how you can tell their feelings from their body language and the tone of voice they’re using. Start as soon as they can speak, or by age 2 or 3, and seize every opportunity to help your child understand their own emotions.[1]
    • For example, if your child has a temper tantrum, say, “I can see you’re angry that we can’t go to the park right now because you're shouting and stamping your feet.” If they’re happy because they got a new toy, tell them “You’re smiling and laughing, so that means you’re happy!”
    • Teaching a child about their own feelings is the first step to helping them learn about others’ emotions.
  2. 2
    Encourage your child to communicate their feelings. Start encouraging your child to express themselves once they're able to communicate with words. Explain to your child that when something bothers them, they should clearly express their feelings. Tell them that instead of yelling or stamping, they should use words to say how they feel or set boundaries.[2]
    • For instance, instead of yelling “You broke my toy!” or acting violently, encourage your child to say “I feel sad because you broke my toy.” If their friend tries to tickle them and they don’t like it, they should say, “Please stop. I don’t want to be touched right now,” instead of hitting their peer.
    • Regularly ask your child things like, “How do you feel? I noticed you’re quieter than usual, and you’re not smiling much. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”
    • Teaching a child how to communicate can help them learn how to respond when others express their feelings.[3]
  3. 3
    Ask your child to see things from others' perspectives. As your toddler matures and starts making friends, encourage them to think about others' points of view. If your child witnesses something bad happening to someone else, ask them how they think that person feels. For example, if they see that someone dropped their ice cream, ask “How would you feel if that happened to you?”[4]
    • Real-life examples are the most effective way to teach empathy. Younger children in particular learn best through firsthand experience.

    Seize Learning Opportunities: When your child does something wrong, don’t just scold or punish them. Instead, ask them how they’d feel if they were in the other person’s shoes. Ask, for instance, “How would you feel if I took your toy the way you took Albert’s? That would make you sad, wouldn’t it?”[5]

  4. 4
    Praise specific acts when your child shows empathy. As your toddler or school-aged child grows, tell them they did the right thing when they show concern for others or do something nice. Name the action they did, then connect it to a positive character trait, such as kindness or generosity.[6]
    • Say, for instance, “It's nice of you to share toys with your friend. That was very generous, and it made your friend happy.” Praising desirable behavior can help children develop a natural sense of empathy over time.
    • Keep in mind it’s possible to overpraise. Note if your child seems to boast about their kind acts or says things like “Tell me I did a good job.” If necessary, offer less praise. When you do commend them, say, “It’s always good to be kind, but it’s extra special when you do something nice just because, even if no one notices.”

Method 2 of 3:
Trying Educational Exercises

  1. 1
    Quiz your child on facial expressions and nonverbal cues. Make different facial expressions and ask your child to name the emotion you are trying to portray. Alternatively, you could draw the expressions on a piece of paper. In addition to naming the emotion, ask your child how they might respond to someone feeling happy, sad, and so on.[7]
    • If your child has trouble naming an emotion, give them a hint. A hypothetical example might work well. If the emotion is jealousy, for instance, say, “This is how you might feel if someone had a really cool toy that you wanted.”
    • The ability to identify a particular emotion when they see it can help your child to respond appropriately and show empathy.

    Tip: You could also try playing “Feeling of the Week.” Pick an emotion and post it on the fridge or a bulletin board. Then, that week, ask your child to point out that particular feeling when they notice it in themselves or others.

  2. 2
    Draw on empathy examples in books, movies, and TV shows. Watch kids’ movies and TV shows together, and ask how characters are feeling. Check in about how your child would respond to these fictional situations. Picture books with the theme of helping or caring for others can also help you explain empathy to your child.[8]
    • Ask, “Which faces and words show that someone is happy, angry, or jealous? How do you think your favorite character feels right now? What do you think you could do to help them feel better?”
  3. 3
    Role play with dolls or action figures. Use toys to create hypothetical situations and teach your child how to care about other people's needs. Playing with dolls or action figures can help your child to develop empathy in a fun, interactive way.[9]
    • For instance, you could pretend one action figure has a boo-boo and another gets a bandage and says, “Don’t worry, everything will be okay.”
    • You could also skip the action figures, pretend that you are pirates, warriors, princesses, or other fun fictional characters, and role play situations that call for empathy.
  4. 4
    Go people-watching together. Sit down at a cafe or on a park bench with your child and watch the passersby. Ask your child to guess how they are feeling based on their expressions and body language.[10]
    • Take the game even further by asking your child for suggestions on what they could do to respond to the emotions they observe. For example, if you spot a little girl crying in the park, you could ask your child what they could do to make her happy.
    • If they have trouble coming up with answers, offer suggestions such as “I'd ask her to play with me,” “I'd ask why she was upset,” or “I’d share my toys with her.”
    • In some situations, it may be helpful to encourage your child to act on what they observe. For example, it might be appropriate for your child to actually go up to the little girl crying and ask why she was upset.
  5. 5
    Grow plants or care for a small pet. Plant some seeds with your child and make them responsible for caring for the sprouts. Remind them to water their plant, make sure it's getting enough sunlight, and remove any weeds. With your supervision, children around ages 7 to 10 could even take responsibility for a small pet, such as a hamster or guinea pig.[11]
    • Gauge your child's maturity level when it comes to deciding if they're ready for a pet. However, remember that you'll still have to make a commitment, too. While kids around age 10 might be ready for a pet, don't expect them to take care of one all by themselves.
    • Caring for a living thing can teach a child how to develop concern for people and things other than themselves. Just remember to provide supervision, and make sure your child doesn’t hurt or neglect a pet.

Method 3 of 3:
Modeling Empathy

  1. 1
    Treat others with kindness, especially in front of your child. Your child will find it difficult to learn empathy if they see you treating others unkindly. Lead by example and treat other people with respect, show concern for others’ needs, and give someone a hand if they need help.[12]
    • Suppose you’re at a restaurant and the server gets your order wrong. Instead of getting mad, mention to your child, “Maybe they’re having a stressful day or just started working here. You never know what someone is going through, so you should try to see things from their perspective.”
    • If your child sees you modeling empathy, they're more likely emulate you and treat others with kindness, too.
  2. 2
    Listen actively to your child. Tell your child that you appreciate when they express their thoughts and feelings. When your child is speaking to you, make eye contact, nod, and put away distractions, such as your phone. Model what it looks like to actively listen to another person, and point out proper listening behaviors to your child.[13]
    • Let them know, “When you listen to someone, you look at them and give them your attention. Say ‘uh-huh’ or tell them something in response when they’re done talking, but don’t interrupt them.”
    • Listening to your child and modeling active listening can encourage them to give others their full attention during a conversation.
  3. 3
    Acknowledge your child's feelings, especially when they’re upset. If your child is crying or yelling, let them know that you understand they’re feeling sad or angry. Instead of just scolding them or telling them to stop, ask them to express themselves using their words.[14]

    Tip: Asking your child to use their words and acknowledging them when they’re upset can also help cut down on tantrums. During a tantrum, remind your child that you can’t understand what’s wrong unless they use their big boy or big girl voice.

  4. 4
    Do community service together. Part of developing empathy is learning to care about the greater community. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, shelter, or other organization, and show your child what it means to help those in need firsthand.[15]
    • It’s also important to expose children to people from diverse backgrounds. It’s one thing to learn how to show empathy to friends and family. However, true empathy involves caring about the well-being of all people, no matter who they are or where they come from.

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      • Remember that mistakes are teaching moments. If your child says or does something wrong, always seize the opportunity to educate instead of merely punishing them.[16]
      • As your child grows older, check in with them frequently. Try to find time to communicate about their feelings every day, such as on the way to school or at the dinner table.[17]




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      wikiHow Staff
      Co-authored by
      wikiHow Staff Editor
      4 votes - 80%
      Co-authors: 5
      Updated: June 24, 2019
      Views: 2,387
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