Thursday, June 11, 2009

Breaking News: Chastity Bono To Drop The 'Tity', Become Chaz

Speaking as a professional smart-aleck, sometimes the jokes just come to me; I certainly don't mean to be offensive or cruel by them when they do. Like the headline above, for example: it just popped into my head as I was typing something more pedestrian. To my mind it would be wrong of me not to use it, since to do so would mean censoring myself, and censorship is never justified (especially when self-inflicted). I've always used comedy to help me come to terms with just about everything*, and I always will. I mean, I think I try to be sensitive far more than most - certainly more than 99% of the blogosphere - when I do, I really do. But unfunny people just don't get, during times of personal or cultural tragedy - or else, like this, times when sensitivity and taste are called for - how difficult it is, and how hard some of us have to bite on our fists and just keep our tacky mouths shut until it's no longer 'too soon' for everybody else...

PhotobucketNot that today's announcement that Chastity Bono - eldest child of the late Sonny Bono and Cher - will be undergoing gender reassignment surgery in the near future is anything like a tragedy, you understand. It's just that an earnest expression and an understanding nod would be far more appropriate in this instance than a joke about breasts whose days are numbered. No, the only tragedy in a situation like that of Chaz Bono is in having to live the lie of a body that doesn't match who you are in your mind. Fortunately for him - see, it's not so hard to switch a pronoun here and there, is it? - there are clinical options; not even the platoon of charlatans who came so close to turning Michael Jackson into Diana Ross could correct my mind-body dysphoria by turning me into Hugh Grant.

On a more personal note, I don't think it'll come as any surprise to my regular readers, since I've openly discussed it on here before, but back when I was a little kid (or a 'pre-blogger', which is my preferred term) I was inordinately fond of The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour. My favourite part of the show - and this is saying something, because how do you pick a favourite part of anything that fabulous? - were the appearances by Chastity; I had a wicked crush on her back in the day, and even told my mother I'd some day like to marry her.

After she came out as a lesbian, I assumed that was the affinity I'd been sensing all those years before; after all, I've always been drawn to the little culture-fucking rule-breaker that is a tomboy. Well, it turns out it went much deeper than that. Anyway, best of luck to you man as you embark upon your journey into the world of the male mysteries... The Pop Culture Institute will always have your back.

*Everything, in fact, except the death of Princess Diana... Ain't no smiles in that.
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