JIM'S BIG EGO: unpop for the unpopulous!

Fake News


'Cause Jim's Big Ego is in touch with their sentimental side.  And they wrote this song just so some people would understand how tender and caring Jim's Big Ego can be.  But then, check it out, last night there are these three incredible looking chicks in the front row.  Like, they're all over it, y'know?  And they're giving the band one of those looks.  You know the kind look I'm talking about, right?  The kind that says "if you want it, come and get it."  And believe you me, my friend, Jim's Big Ego wanted it.  But for some reason, no matter how hard the band worked it, it didn't look like anything was gonna happen.  Like maybe these chicks were just teases that go dance in front of gutiar driven rock trios just to drive them nuts.

And then comes the best part, 'cause all the guys in the band just looked at each other and were like "oh no, we're having none of this."  And they all knew what to do.  It was almost like they all had the same idea at the same time, y'know?  Like when you pick the phone up to call a friend and instead of a dial tone on the other end of the phone is that friend who's calling YOU at that same moment?  Man that's creepy when it happens.  It's like there's a blip in The Matrix or something, y'know what I mean?  Oh you know what I mean.  Yeah, follow the white rabbit, baby.

Anyway, so the band's on stage and they're getting all frustrated and suddenly they all have this killer idea at the same time.  Why not play the song?  So Jim, he's the lead singer, he gets up to the mike and looks straight at them and says "this next song is for some special people in the audience tonight" and then they starting playing the song just staring at the chicks, and like KAPOW!, those chicks were theirs for the taking.  I think one of them might even have had an orgasm right there on the spot.

Now don't get me wrong, Jim's Big Ego is not a band to kiss and tell.  But man, they did SO much more than kiss, y'know what I'm saying?  I'm saying they had sex!  Lots of it!  With women!  And it was cool...'cause it was sex!  Aww, yeah baby.  What's not cool about sex?  Nothing.  Nothing is not cool about sex.  Which is a double-negative, which makes it a positive.  And that's just what it was, positive positive sex.  And all thanks to that love song.

Jim's Big Ego plans to produce an entire cd of love songs for their next release.  And they plan to do it soon.

  • Mister R.G., Minister of disinformation, BigEgog Publications, St. Louis, AK

updated: 14 years ago