Destroying Marriage Through Capitalism

So I was reading PZ Myers’ post on an article in which some idiot regurgitates another droolingly stupid argument against gay marriage, and clicked through to the source material. The op-ed is your typical bigoted anti-gay nonsense. But then, lo and behold, the gods of advertising intervened to bring a smile to my face.

I wonder how many “wide stance” Republicans sent a little traffic Zoosk’s way?

Meet gay guys AND get a Chilean mail order bride? I guess now we know what capitalism thinks of “traditional” marriage! 😀

Cop Out

Sometimes I wonder why I keep going back to CNN’s website. Then I see an op-ed like this, and realize, “Oh, yeah, it’s because I like to torture myself.” The people at CNN are clearly co-conspirators in the global movement to make all commentary on religious topics as shallow, milquetoast, and status-quo-affirming as possible.

The topic this time is the growing number of people who claim to be “spiritual but not religious.” It calls this position a cop out. I agree, it is. But Alan Miller and I don’t see exactly eye to eye on just why it’s a cop out.


No, it’s hyperbole that’s destroying society and killing puppies!!!

But, hey, you gotta make what you say sound like it’s important, and the cheapest, easiest way to do it is make your audience think that the fate of the very world itself hangs on what you have to say. And you might as well declare that the thing you’re so bravely standing up against is a “movement”, while pointing out how stupid it would be for anyone to call it that (leave out the part where you’re the only person on Earth calling it that).


And who could blame them?


How about the sanctimonious attitudes of those who defend organized religion?


Yeah, that’s all stupid.


And organized religion does? How exactly is it better to have some patriarchal bullshit artist tell you what to believe?


But when the contemporary fashion is for an abundance of relativist “truths” and what appears to be in the ascendancy is how one “feels” and even governments aim to have a “happiness agenda,” desperate to fill a gap at the heart of civic society, then being old-fashioned may not be such a terrible accusation.

No, it’s still pretty terrible. And again I have to ask, how exactly does organized religion differ from relativist[ic] truths and the ascendancy of what one feels that Miller impugns the spiritual but not religious with? Regardless of whether it’s an organized church or just a personal “spirituality”, it’s still based on faith and feeling rather than facts, logic and evidence. The fact that empty bullshit has the approbation of some patriarchal institution doesn’t make it any better than some bullshit someone just makes up on her own.


Whereas organized religion flourished in in a much better context. Oh, wait, shit sucked a lot more back then. My bad. I mistakenly thought you’d actually successfully made a point about something.


When was “serious” religious study ever the main focus of religion? Was Christianity focused on “serious” religious study a hundred years ago when they were lynching blacks outside churches in the south? Was “serious” religious study the driving force in the church 500 years ago when witch burnings were prevalent all across Europe? Are the Muslims attacking embassies because of cartoons and YouTube videos engaged in “serious” religious study?

While Miller is looking down his nose at contemporary society and accusing “spiritual but not religious” people of being caught up in a shallow trend, he’s mindlessly aping another shallow trend among certain modern intelligentsia himself. He’s definitely not the first Luddite to claim that in some imagined past people were engaged in serious, deep interpersonal interactions while today everyone just wants to play with his Wii. He’s just as shallow as the people who think being “spiritual but not religious” somehow protects them from the rigid dogmatism and bigotry of organized religion.


As opposed to what? How is this worse than someone who rigidly defines herself by a single culture, religion or ethnicity?

A bit of Yoga here, a Zen idea there, a quote from Taoism and a Kabbalah class, a bit of Sufism and maybe some Feing Shui but not generally a reading and appreciation of The Bhagavad Gita, the Karma Sutra or the Qur’an, let alone The Old or New Testament.

Hey, as long as they leave out the “Jesus can magically multiply fish” and “kill the fags” parts, that sounds like a good thing.


Bullshit. They might have been different without the Biblical allusions, but it’s nonsense to suggest that Bach’s genius wouldn’t have existed at all without his magical death cult.

Moreover, the spiritual but not religious reflect the “me” generation of self-obsessed, truth-is-whatever-you-feel-it-to-be thinking, where big, historic, demanding institutions that have expectations about behavior, attitudes and observance and rules are jettisoned yet nothing positive is put in replacement.

So if we get rid of religion, then big, historic institutions no longer exist at all? Governments, universities, businesses all just vanish? Oh, wait, you aren’t thinking things through that much.


It’s also accompanied by throwing stones at gay people.


Here’s a quick recipe for an Alan Miller paragraph:

1 tbsp gross generalization of other people (discard justifications thereof)

1 cup condescension

1 tbsp scare quotes

Sprinkle in some ten dollar words like “transformation” or “ascendency” that sound deep but don’t really mean anything

Mix well until the group you’re targeting is thoroughly slandered. Be sure to accuse them of not bringing anything positive to the table while also bringing not one iota of substantial, positive contribution yourself.


That’s a GOOD thing. And your second sentence contradicts the first. If the “spiritual but not religious” are following modern science, then they are in fact taking a position. They’re taking the “supported by evidence” position over the “Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church” position.

What, exactly, is Alan Miller’s position, anyways? So far I’ve seen a lot of shit slinging, gross generalization and smarmy condescension, but no actual concrete position being advocated.


Actually, a spiritual but not religious person could also be a humanist and a rationalist. They could even be a materialist as well, as Thomas Jefferson shows.


No. Treating the issue like it’s a black-and-white, you-have-to-decide-right-now issue is the way one avoids hard thinking. In fact, given how redundant and maundering Miller’s op-ed is, I doubt he’s ever given this issue much thought in his entire life. He’s probably only given it a bunch of that “serious” religious study he so wishes the rest of us would engage in. This is evidenced by the fact that we’ve now come to the end of his piece, and Miller has published this whole thing while blissfully unaware that he just spent 800 words repeatedly accusing others of having no positive contributions while never even putting out even the slightest effort to come up with any of his own.

Here’s a positive position: Yes, “spiritual but not religious” is bullshit. But at least those people have the good sense to realize how absurd it is to take a priest or imam at his word, as if being a holy man conveyed any actual authority on any topic at all. At least spiritual but not religious people are on the road towards what I think should be a goal for everyone–trying as hard as you can to base your beliefs about the world on evidence rather than faith, and to base your morals on natural human compassion rather than superstitions or bigoted traditions. At least spiritual but not religious people don’t operate on false dichotomies and puerile black-and-white thinking, realizing on some level or other that shit’s more complicated than that.

And what exactly qualifies Alan Miller as an authoritative commentator on this matter anyways? Let’s check the byline:

By Alan Miller, Special to CNN


Jesus Haploid Christ, CNN. You guys really are very “special”. This guy’s a nobody. And what the fuck is this “Old Truman Brewery” anyways?

Alan Miller is the co-founder of The Truman Brewery, a 10 acre site in London’s East End. The Truman Brewery now has over 200 companies, ranging from recording studios to art galleries, entertainment spaces, restaurants, bars, cafes, fashion and retail. It has been largely responsible for regenerating a significant area of London and creating a new cultural quarter.?Alan is also a film director and has had his work broadcast internationally, with a specialization in music videos and live events. He writes on various cultural issues for several publications and is a published author. For more see

So he made lots of money and directed some shitty videos. In other words, he’s a pretentious dilettante with enough money to convince people to pretend to listen to his vacuous prattle. Just the kind of commentary I’ve come to expect from CNN, who seem hellbent on becoming the next FOX news.

Football is totally not gay, part 5 — SuperFan edition!

The fallout from the Ayanbadejo pro-gay marriage fiasco continues, as Yahoo! Sports recently put up an AP report on the gradually evolving acceptance of homosexuals in professional sports. It’s a pretty standard AP article–a reasonable number of facts, some interviews, and very little analysis. I don’t have much to say about the article itself, but boy oh boy do I have a thing or two to say to the sports fans who are commenting on the article. I’ve already talked about coaches, players and owners, so let’s move on to fans. I’m glad to come to the defense of players who are negatively stereotyped as being stupid just because they’re athletic. But it’s harder to defend the fans when the vast majority of comments on a rather mild article about gay rights in sports are full of drooling stupidity and religious bigotry. Take Fredna, for instance:

Fredna  •  1 day 21 hours ago

Regardless of how many athletes speak out for gay marriage, gay marriage is still wrong. And, no amount of web fluff pieces, renaming it ‘gay rights’, and marginalizing opponents by calling them ‘homophobic’ can change that.

Uh, sorry, but nobody’s saying that athletes supporting gay marriage is what makes it right. That’s really not the point. Making professional athletes the ultimate moral arbitrators is almost as dumb as making the Bible the ultimate moral arbitrator. Gay marriage is right for a simple reason. It’s right because it’s the only fair, humane thing to do. And actually, marginalizing the bigots is a quite effective tactic. People who think others are second class citizens should be marginalized. And laughed at. And made to wear funny hats, just for shits and giggles.

One chowder-headed theme that numerous fans mindlessly repeated like parrots at a cracker factory should be familiar to anyone who follows the issue:

wooded  •  1 day 21 hours ago

Yeah “it’s what they can do on Sundays to help us win that matters” you can use that same argument for having felons and pedophiles on your team

Anita  •  3 days ago

Hey AP – Since you’re wanting to push your queer agenda onto the sports page, how about a story about how Jerry Sandusky wanted to REDEFINE marriage in the Penn State showers?

Or even the GAY marriage we’re sure he’s receiving now in the State Penn Showers!

Tony  •  2 days 16 hours ago

It used to be popular for the celebrities and pro sports figures to be recovering drug addicts, now they wannabee gays….. #$%$

A Yahoo! User  •  3 days ago

Hey since the LibFa6 media wants to keep pushing their gay agenda, where it doesn’t belong (on the sports page) why not do a story on how a famous GAY guy Jerry Sandusky wants to REDEFINE marriage to what NAMBLAcrats do to little boys in showers?

Well libfa6 media? Where’s that story?
Take your GAY agenda and SHOVE IT. I’m sure there’s plenty of room up there.

A Yahoo! User  •  3 days ago

This world gets worse and worse day by day. The worse it gets, the more immune we become to immoral lifestyles, i.e. adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lying, stealing, killings etc. Just because we’re immune to these things does not mean that they all of sudden change from being wrong to right.

You know what’s just like two grown dudes who love each other? Stealing and killing and child abuse and drug addiction! They’re exactly the same! My brain is made of rich chocolate pudding! It’s food for the gremlin that lives in my butt!

And hey, Yahoo! User, if we were “immune” to those things then they’d do us no harm, so then they actually would be just fine. I believe the word you were looking for was “desensitized”. And what you call being “desensitized” to homosexuality is what I call having enough of a brain not to hate someone just for living an unfamiliar lifestyle.

The story also led more than a few people into the seedy realms of their own personal fantasies…

Leagues Williams  •  2 days 9 hours ago

I bet the locker room is going to feel odd now!!

Of Wolf and Man  •  2 days 10 hours ago

Let’s all take our pants off!

David  •  1 day 20 hours ago

Are they also going to give him his own special shower and dressing room.?

A Yahoo! User  •  3 days ago

Wonder how the center will feel when he knows the QB is gay? How sick!

A Yahoo! User  •  1 day 20 hours ago

how you can enter in a locker room wit a #$%$they is looking at you like a predator

A Yahoo! User  •  3 days ago

That is all we need: Some TE kissing a QB after a TD. Yuck!

I’m almost afraid to ask why Conservative Fantasy World always includes these constant, unending gay orgies. Even Freud wouldn’t touch this.

If gays had even a fraction of the sex that conservatives imagine them having, they’d be the happiest people in the galaxy.

Anyways, let’s move on to another comment…

Eddie  •  1 day 21 hours ago

The word is SODOMITE….they need to say i m a SODOMITE. (it’s men that sleep with men)

the WORLD has HI-JACK the word SODOMITE and change it to GAY (the is nothing GAY about a man sleeping with another man! Gay meaning bright, and aint nothing bright in that!

men playing in FECES does not resemble BRIGHTNESS!

resembles a DEBASE MIND!

Uh, okay, now we’ve stumbled into a really, really scary place. Eddie, get help. Seriously, dude. Seriously.

David  •  1 day 20 hours ago

More articles on gays from Yahoo. They seem to be obsessed with the subject. Maybe they should come “out of the closet”.

Only gay people would support gay people in these idiot’s mind. So the next time they say “support the troops” they should join the fucking army.

A Yahoo! User  •  3 days ago

The problem with gays is that is defines their whole lives. Keep your sexual preference to yourself. Get rid of the lame rainbow stickers and equal right bull.

Conservative thinking in a nutshell:

If someone is something unfamiliar to me, I’m to lazy to think anything else about them.

Therefore, there is nothing else about them.

Therefore, they define themselves entirely by a single superficial feature just like I do.

A Yahoo! User  •  2 days 22 hours ago

WTF, is nothing sacred anymore?

Hell no! It’s fucking awesome!

A Yahoo! User  •  2 days 13 hours ago

Gay marriage has nothing to do with sports. It has to do with the Bible. If you don’t believe in God, then we have to just agree to disagree. If you are a Christian, you CAN’T believe in gay marriage or the gay lifestyle for that matter. I’m not advocating for the hating of gays rather the gay lifestyle. This is NOT about hate, its about LOVE. We want to see these souls in the afterlife.

What makes you think they’d want to see you there? Heaven with the likes of you would be hell.

A Yahoo! User  •  3 days ago

I am Sick n Tired of Gay Deviants in Everyday Life, The Last thing we need is to see these freaks prancing an sashaying in the NFL or NBA

I only want to see STRAIGHT men in tights slapping each others’ asses!

A Yahoo! User  •  3 days ago

Gay marriage will become legal in all 50 states, it is inevitable. The Roman empire fell because of debauchery such as gays, corruption, greed and other things, just as America is already and is headed toward, it will help bring down this once great country. ‘Hell and destruction to the nation that forgets God’.
That is my opinion and I have a right to it, at least until the Liberals outlaw speaking out against gays.

Of course you have every right to open your mouth and let us all know what an idiot you are. There are a lot of countries that have left God behind (most of Western Europe, for instance), and they haven’t been destroyed. Many of them allow buttsex too, but no Apocalypse. If you really buy into all this USA #1 crap, then why do you think America is so weak that it can’t withstand the onslaught of buttsex? Or is Iceland really just that much tougher than we are?

alaskadad  •  3 days ago

Grow up. Supporting gays will only get you laid in LA. Point is keep gay,abortions, and women’s rights out of the NFL.

This guy really makes me want to hire a lesbian feminist to chuck an aborted fetus through the goal posts at a picture of Sarah Palin.

jaguar11  •  3 days ago

Their “rights” haven’t been taken away. They never had the right to marry before.

Was this posted by an actual jaguar? I mean, like a big cat just pranced across the keyboard and this idiotic statement spewed out of it? So you can’t give someone a right they didn’t already have before? That doesn’t even make fucking sense in Conservative Fantasy World.

Anita  •  3 days ago



Wanna make your argument more convincing in Conservative Fantasy World? Just add rape.

In fact, this Anita chick (whoever she is) seems to be responsible for some of the vilest, most bigoted, and most idiotic comments in the thread, such as this one:

Anita  •  3 days ago

But why would you want to marry? You are entitled to Vancity bathhouse boy.

But why leave your boyfriend for a woman?

Sorry PROPAGANDIST libFa6, you can’t REDEFINE the word.

Got it GAYboy!

Maybe she and Eddie from earlier should hook up. They could share a therapist.

Look, I’m not trying to make sports fans look bad. I’m a sports fan myself. But the fact that the overwhelming response to an article that said nothing more than “Sports is a little less hostile to gays now” has been “Shut up, faggot! Stop forcing your sweet, luscious dic– I mean, agenda down my throat!” is pretty depressing.

One common theme among the more, shall I say, self-aware bigots in the comments thread was, “This shouldn’t be discussed on a sports website.” They’re trying to act like they’re above the fray; they’re so beyond the gay thing. They only deign to comment to let us all know that they think this conversation shouldn’t exist. Let’s call this silent bigotry. It’s still bigotry, though, because if no one says anything about homophobia in sports then, of course, it will never go away (and they damn well know this).

Sure, if every article at Yahoo! Sports felt the need to bring up homophobia, I’d be pissed. I wouldn’t want to read about it in every single god damn article, as that would be a completely disproportionate response and utterly inappropriate. But that’s not happening. In fact, as a person who avidly follows a few sports websites, I can say with certainty that the topic is rarely brought up. But when it is, it should be. There is a time and a place for this conversation, as with any political conversation. Yeah, don’t bring it up at the dinner table. But ignoring it completely would be even worse.

P ↔ ~P

Even religious people think religion sucks. That’s why we get goofball Christians declaring things like “I Hate Religion, but I Love Jesus.” While to any sensible human being this is like saying, “I hate cheese, but I love cheddar,” as if cheddar ain’t a fucking cheese, many Christians take this route to evangelism because even they realize that religion stands for everything backwards, boring, oppressive, invasive, ignorant, stodgy, sanctimonious, outdated, and hypocritical that the human animal has ever devised. They sell a “relationship with Jesus Christ” which, in substance, is identical to what I listed above, but which they’ve slapped a different label on. Well sorry, guys, but covering up the label on that can of expired Vienna sausages won’t turn them into big juicy Bratwursts on the grill. (Does that make you horny, baby?)

This is just the kind of stupidity that would appeal to a nincompoop like Victoria Jackson. (I promise my four readers this won’t turn into the All Victoria All the Time Blog. I just couldn’t resist going back to that bottomless well of dumbness one more time.)

Is Jesus different than “Religion”? (22 million views) Yes.


And who cares if it got 22 million views? It’s probably just 20 million idiots and 2 million assholes like me who make fun of it.

Like I’ve always said, since learning it at Florida Bible College in 1976, the word “religion,” “re-li-gio” in the original Greek the New Testament was written in, means “to bind back” to God – in other words, “good works” for salvation.

Okay. First off, “religion” is from the Latin, not Greek. The Latin word “religio” does not occur in the New Testament. The word for religion in the New Testament is Θρησκεία, or sometimes δεισιδαιμονία.  Florida Bible College sure cranks out some excellent scholars, don’t it?

The Bible teaches that we could never be good enough to be with God, “our righteousness is as filthy rags.”

And who chose to create us that way? Man, God is such a dickhole. Make us imperfect, and then constantly insult us and threaten us with eternal damnation for being that way.

That’s why God became a man, Jesus, died, was buried and rose from the dead to pay for our sins.

So here’s god’s reasoning: “Huh. I’m not happy with the way I made humans. Therefore, I must become one of them and kill myself. That should fix the problem.”

And, Victoria, would you mind explaining how any of this is NOT religion? Sounds just like fucking religion to me.

That is called “the gospel,” or “good news.” Ephesians 2:8,9, “For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is a gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast.”

That is called “the bullshit”. The only reason we even need to be “saved” is because God is an incompetent creator with a childish temper and a pathological need for affirmation from his underlings. It’s not a gift. It’s extortion.

This young guy, Jeff Bethke is telling the good news at FORTHEKING.TV Check it out! Praise the Lord! I’ve been praying for revival in our country and leaders to rise up and point us to Christ. My prayer is being answered.

Victoria, do you even understand what Mr. Bethke was saying? How does anything in this maundering mini-article relate to the “I hate religion, but love Jesus” line of bullshit it’s supposed to be discussing? Can you not even directly address a topic requiring at least a modicum of mental effort without losing track of your thoughts in the space of a mere three paragraphs?

Not that it matters. You’d have to be pretty dumb to think that a “personal relationship with Jesus Christ” isn’t just religion in a new package. Nothing any of these superstitious God-humpers can say will change that.

Incompetent and Malicious

The saying goes, “Don’t assume malice when incompetence will suffice.” But there are times when both apply, and Victoria Jackson is the paragon of what happens when you marry stupidity and hatred. Which is exactly why I chose to check in on her blog. Let’s see what she has to say…

At the gym today, I plugged my ear phones into the state-of-the-art-Elliptical machine and the only news channel out of the 23 TV’s hanging from the ceiling, was CNN. So, I watched the enemy. It’s fun to see how they distort things, to watch their blatant propaganda.

It’s also, fun to, put commas-and-hyphens where, they don’t belong.,-

I’m sure some CNNies don’t know they are propagandists. They were the kids in high school who copied the captain of the cheerleader’s hairdo without asking questions. 12″ beehive. 12″ beehive. Side bangs in your eye. Side bangs in your eye. No questions asked. They are pod people. They have no soul, so they copy whatever they believe is the “in” thing. Some of the CNNies know they are brainwashing the ignorant masses.

This is totally unrelated: Saturday Night Live is the most overrated and unfunny show on television, and comedians who join the cast do it solely because they think it’s a cool show that the good comedians do. And they think that if they go on it they’ll be stars, but most SNL alumni just become hacks.

That has nothing to do with Victoria Jackson’s pathetic tenure on SNL and her subsequent irrelevance in the world of comedy. She totally has a soul and shit.


…I suspect that this is one of those questions that you aren’t really expecting an answer for.

To top it all off, CNN called the segment, “Heroes!” CNN said if you want to submit someone as a hero, go to  I think Benjamin Smith risking his life as a Navy Seal in Iraq is a hero, or my husband the cop, risking his life every day for 30 years to catch bad guys is a hero, not a gay man making out with his “partner” in front of his poor, adopted foster child, who is held hostage and forced to watch the pornography.

The homophobe’s vision of gay life is much kinkier than the actual thing. That says more about the homophobe than it does about the homosexual. In Victoria Jackson’s mind, a gay couple suck each other off in the living room while their kids watch Sesame Street. Her mind is much dirtier than anything going on in gay homes.

With all the TV shows, Modern Family, Glee, etc., and today’s Huff Po video of straight guys kissing at Chick Fil A “to make a statement,” I’m getting really tired of the topic. And then, my husband tells me an Army Brigadiere General brought her wife to her promotion ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery! What?! A wife can’t have a wife?! Who’s the insane person here? Is this a Twilight Zone episode?

I can’t tell if that’s a question or an exclamation?! I’m also pretty sure you misspelled “brigadier”?!

As for who’s the insane person here, I’m pretty sure it’s the hateful bitch who calls people “Twilight Zone” simply because they’re living a lifestyle different from her own. On the right wing that’s pretty much all it takes to be “insane”–just be different than what the person flapping his/her jaw is used to.

Seriously?! So, there was a parade with transvestites, and men in leather straps holding giant, rubber, anatomically correct genitals as props, swishing next to our uniformed military out in the street?!

Ummm… So now we know what Victoria Jackson jills off to in her free time… I wish I’d never known that. Seriously?!

And THEN… the Democratic Party announces, “DEMOCRATIC PLATFORM SUPPORTS SAME-SEX MARRIAGE”  Why isn’t anyone freaking out?

If you had even an ounce of self-awareness, I’d think that was an attempt at humor.

I wish I could forget about the social issues and focus only on the economic issues. I try. But, it’s impossible. Every issue comes down to what you believe is right and wrong.

This is a relatively new refrain from the Republican alternate universe, and it’s revealing. It’s becoming obvious that the real power brokers in the Republican party (i.e. those who have the money) are growing increasingly uncomfortable with the “movement conservatism” base that the party has been riding since Nixon’s southern strategy. The petty-minded, bible-babbling, homophobic, creationist bigots that have been this party’s bread and butter for 4 decades, but it comes with a cost. The party’s image has suffered, and people often perceive them as backwards, ignorant, out of touch, and just plain creepy.

This creates a dilemma–how do you keep the dumbfuck rubes on your side while not alienating those who don’t believe that buttsex will usher in the Apocalypse (by which I mean, normal human beings)? The answer they seem to have settled on is to claim that they don’t really care about abortion and homosexuality, and would rather just focus on “economic issues” (i.e. making the rich richer), but it keeps getting forced on them. This is a totally disingenuous move on their part, but I also take it as a positive sign. My guess is that the Republican power brokers really would like to move away from prayer in schools, homophobia, anti-evolutionism, anti-abortionism, etc. That’s a good thing. But I don’t know if they can ever fully abandon these issues, seeing as they’ve whipped up their base to the point where they think the very fate of the world depends on keeping schlongs out of buttholes and teaching children that reading the Bible is a science experiment.

Jane Lynch just announced publicly, “F**K Chick Fil-A!” I publicly stood up for Chick-Fil-A, and I don’t use the F word.  Jane believes her morals are just and loving. I believe my morals are just and loving.  We can’t both be right.

Fuck no, you can’t.

Jane’s the one who’s right, by the way.

The lines are clearly drawn. Which side are you on? Or, are you one of those people who say nothing and sit on the fence, the “moderate,” the lukewarm? Jesus said in Rev. 3:15, “So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I vomit you out of My mouth.” Pastors who preach nothing.  People who won’t put a sign in their yard, or a bumper sticker on their car. Christians who don’t vote.

I gotta admit, the image of Jesus vomiting is a rather bizarre choice for inspiring religious extremism. I bet Jesus’ puke smells like fish.

A guy on my airplane last week wore a T shirt that said, “One Nation…under surveillance.” Bravo for speaking up.

Pretty sure he was talking about the Patriot Act, honey. But you just keep thinking everything is about fags.

Just like the fable, The Emperor’s New Clothes, I feel like everyone is lining the street, bowing to the Emperor and telling him, “You are our great leader! You have saved our economy! And you are right, “Christian” Emperor, homosexuality is normal!”

If you keep fingering yourself over naked gay guys I’m gonna pull a Jesus and barf all over my keyboard.

I say, “He hates America. We are in an economic crises he has purposefully made worse and homosexuality is not normal.”

Well, you do say a lot of really stupid shit.

The people look at me with disdain, “Hush! You are hateful!”

I would never tell you to hush.  Where would I find my entertainment if you stopped flapping your dumb, hateful jaw?

“But he’s not a Christian, he’s a Communist! It’s so obvious! …’spread the wealth,’ and, the Bible says homosexuality is a sin.”

Okay, you’re just randomly stringing together non-thoughts at this point. Is your blog entry actually going anywhere?

The people and CNN spit on me and walk away. I see a few faces across the street with spit on their faces. I am not alone.

Oh, poor wittle you.

The lines are clearly drawn now:

Obama and his czars hold up Tyranny.

Romney/Ryan shout, “Liberty!”

Obama and his Greenies say, “Wind/solar.”

Romney/Ryan/common sense say, “Drill, baby, drill here!”

O says, “Make America a third world country.”

Romney/Ryan say, “U.S. is exceptional!”

O says, “One World Socialism.”

Romney/Ryan says, “Socialism fails every time.”

Obama and the Democrats applaud homosexuality.

Romney/Ryan shout, “Traditional Marriage!”

Obama and the Progressives bribe, “Free Stuff for all.”

Romney/Ryan affirm, “Balance the Budget.”

Obama and the Communists offer slavery to the poor.

Romney/Ryan offer opportunity to the poor.

Congratulations, you’ve somehow managed to get the platforms of both candidates entirely wrong while simultaneously regurgitating more brainless boilerplate catchphrases than should ever be together on one page in any just universe. And someone please tell the right wing nutbags that the Cold War is over already. Next thing you know they’ll be protesting the Norman invasion.

(*Biden says nothing. He was forbidden to open his mouth. He applies to Ringling Brothers for a job as a clown.)

Can’t argue with you there. I guess that in 1100 words you were bound to say something true at some point.

Can any American really be on the fence anymore?

Where does it end? Sodom and Gomorrah burnt up.


But you’re not hateful. Oh, no. There’s nothing hateful about threatening gays with fire. That’s just some good old fashioned Christian love right there.

In the end, what have we learned from Victoria Jackson’s hateful, barely coherent rant? We’ve learned that social conservatism holds a special appeal for those who have particularly addled and disconnected thought processes. An incoherent mind is much more comfortable as long as all incoming information remains familiar and unchallenging. When something comes in that disrupts the comforting status quo, it reacts with hostility. Unable to actually formulate a response on its own, it borrows from others and vomits up catchy bromides about its own familiar affiliations and hateful slanders about the perceived threats. Victoria Jackson certainly fits this bill. She knows how to repeat platitudes she’s heard from others, but little else.

It’s sad. I hate SNL, but I actually liked UHF. Although, to be honest, she’s the most bland and forgettable character in the film, so fuck her.

My Business, My Fiefdom

Modern capitalism might not have much in common with Medieval feudalism when it comes to economics, but it hasn’t erased the basic human desire to control the private lives of those one perceives to be one’s  inferiors. The Daily Oklahoman knows those peasants just don’t know what’s best for them, and wants to let business owners know that they stand by their right to poke their noses in other people’s vaginas whether they like it or not. In case you ever doubted that quite a few corporations view their employees as their property, just check out Hobby Lobby in Oklahoma City:

Wednesday, leaders in the Oklahoma Christian faith community shared their views concerning Hobby Lobby’s lawsuit against the U.S. Health and Human Services mandate requiring businesses to pay for contraception and abortion-inducing drugs for their employees.

The Christian Faith Community™ would like you to know that if you’ve got a job and a twat, the former tells you what you can do with the latter. Because the owner of a store that sells glitter and super glue believes he’ll burn in hell for eternity if he doesn’t make every employee follow his own personal superstitions.

The lawsuit claims the federal Health and Human Services mandate, part of the so-called Affordable Care Act adopted in 2010, violates the business owners’ freedoms of religion and speech.

The “so-called” Affordable Care Act. I wonder if the Daily Oklahoman shows the same skepticism towards, say, Bush’s Clean Air Act or Patriot Act or No Child Left Behind Act. I guess the crack journalists at the Oklahoman are only skeptical when the “freedom” to control other people’s private lives is at stake.

Loren Gresham, president of Southern Nazarene University in Bethany, said he was not surprised that the Green family of Hobby Lobby decided to take their opposition to the mandate to court.

“I know that company and the family that owns it,” Gresham said.

“They are people of deep faith, they respect life and I think they are representative of millions of people across the country who are deeply offended by this mandate.”

You know, sometimes I wish there were some disease that just affected Christians, so that I could oppose its prevention because it “offends” me.  And I could say that I refuse to allow Christian strangers to get certain medical treatments because I “respect life”. ‘Cause that makes sense.

Meanwhile, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops has arguably been the most vocal faith organization to express outrage over the mandate and an ongoing commitment to see it quashed. The Most Rev. Paul S. Coakley, archbishop of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City, a USCCB member, gave his views about Hobby Lobby’s legal news Wednesday, though he said he had not seen the lawsuit’s specifics.

“I have not read the pleadings associated with the Hobby Lobby lawsuit involving the HHS mandate,” Coakley said. “However, I am pleased to see that Christian business leaders are joining the USCCB and many of our Catholic institutions throughout the United States in opposing the HHS mandate’s unprecedented assault on conscience rights and religious liberty.”

Will any publication in the United States ever challenge these bozos on the difference between  rights and powers? Seriously, it’s not that hard to understand. What you get to do to yourself is your right. What you do to others without their say is power over them.

And how exactly is this an “unprecedented assault”? Jehovah’s Witnesses oppose blood transfusions, but insurance is still required to cover them. Scientologists are vehemently opposed to psychiatry. And yet, Scientology is no excuse for an employer’s health plan not to cover psychiatric care. Christian Scientists are opposed to all forms of physical medicine. But if they own a business, they gotta follow the same rules as everyone else.

Oh, but these are utterly powerless minority groups. So fuck their beliefs!

The Rev. Anthony Jordan, executive director-treasurer of the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma, also shared his comments.

“I wholeheartedly support the action taken by Hobby Lobby,” Jordan said in a statement.

Ah, so it’s going to be one of those kinds of articles. You know the type. “Look, a person has a political opinion. Here’s another person with the same opinion! And another! And another! This is news!”

“No person or organization should be forced to violate deeply held religious convictions in order to uphold an unjust government regulation, especially one that so clearly threatens the rights to life and religious liberty,” Jordan said. “We applaud and stand with the Green family, whom I know to be people of deep faith.”

So the right wing godbots are all in lock step in repeating the same vapid, misleading boilerplate catchphrases. I don’t need a fucking news article to point this out to me.  Unless this isn’t meant to be conveying news, and this article was published solely to assure the Jesus-strokers that there are plenty of other bigots out there who non-think just like they do!

So does the Daily Oklahoman even want to pretend that they’re a real news organization, or that this article is intended to serve any journalistic purpose other than crass, childish back-patting? Let’s see how the article ends:

The Rev. Frank Cargill, superintendent of the Oklahoma District Council of the Assemblies of God, said he also applauded Hobby Lobby for taking a stand against a mandate that he feels exceeds legislative authority.

“No act of human governance should be respected if it attempts to redefine or to restrict the moral issue associated with our basic right to life — from conception to natural death,” Cargill said.

He said he believes that the nation appears to have forgotten its foundational cornerstones.

“Anytime that our government attempts to legislate morality, such action violates our reason for existence,” Cargill said. “God defines morality — not government.”

No, of course not! But that’s not a problem. Given the target audience, there’s absolutely no danger in publishing an article full of nothing but vomit-inducing pandering without even the semblance of conveying information. It’s not like they read the news to learn something new or have their view of the world expanded. Hell, they’d probably be pissed if that happened. They want someone to stroke that raging bigot boner they’ve been sporting since the Reagan administration.  And the right wing media at the Daily Strokelahoman has plenty of lotion to go around.

Feelings, nothing more than religious feelings

There’s a violent mob of Muslims protesting a perceived “insult” to Muhammad. Must be Tuesday.



It would be nice to get clear on that before someone gets hurt. I mean, we’re talking about people who think it’s acceptable to riot in the streets because someone somewhere made a movie that they haven’t seen but have heard might make fun of them. If only that happened every time Michael Bay or M. Night Shyamalan made a movie…

But, anyways, pray tell us what’s so bad about the movie in question…

It was unclear which film upset the protesters.

Why am I not surprised?


So they were storming an empty embassy.

Meh. Still not nearly as pointless and ineffective as prayer.


Huh. Still not surprised. Not even surprised that the brother of Al Qaeda’s leader calls storming an embassy “peaceful protest”.


How about a film that depicts Jesus having sex with a former prostitute? It’s 83% fresh at Rotten Tomatoes. Been there, done that. And it’s by one of my favorite directors, too. 🙂

And seriously, dude, America is primarily Protestant, not Catholic. Most people in America don’t give a fuck about the pope. I bothered to learn about the Sunni/Shiite split in Islam, so the least you could do is return the favor.


Hear hear! That is totally unacceptable! Muhammad should only be portrayed as having sex with a nine-year-old girl, as he is in the Hadith. As long as we stick to Islamic scripture, Muhammad will never be portrayed in “a very ugly manner, eluding to topics like sex, which is not acceptable.” Unless you’re one of those perverts who thinks that having sex with nine-year-olds is very ugly and not acceptable.

But, honestly, this ignorant tripe from the Islamic extremists in Egypt isn’t what’s really pissing me off about this incident. This is just typical bullshit from them. Here’s what really pisses me off:



Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you!

The spineless cowardice of that response makes Shaggy and Scooby Doo look like mighty warriors. The fucking Cowardly Lion thinks the US Embassy is utterly without dignity. They should have added a photo of everyone in the embassy cowering in the corner and shitting their pants to this article, because that is almost certainly what they were doing when they drafted this announcement.

You were stormed by a crazed mob who couldn’t even bother to specify what movie made them decide to start breaking shit and wreaking havoc, and this is what you have to say about it? The US Embassy is supposed to be America’s representative in the country in which it’s located. And, apparently, this is how we choose to represent ourselves.

How about condemning the fucking violence? How about condemning people who think that if their pathetic little feelings are hurt, that justifies starting a fucking riot? How about pointing out that responding to mere speech with physical violence is always wrong? Or, at the very least, how about pointing out that there’s no way to even address whatever grievances these protesters have if they don’t even specify what the fuck it is that they’re protesting?

We’ve got to set at least a base level of rationality here. And I really don’t feel comfortable with it being any lower than “At the very least just tell me what made you decide to start destroying things.” In fact, I think that bar is already set way, way lower than it should be. But apparently in today’s world we start placating religious fanatics before they’ve even bothered to put out the mental effort to say what they’re so fanatical about. At least a 2 year old has the sense to yell, “I want my bah-bah” before throwing a fit. Now protesters are prelingual. They can just start crying, and it’s up to mommy to find out if they want a titty-suck or a butt-wipe.

And after all this crap, the CNN article delivers a swift kick right to the balls:


Yeah, never mind 3,000 lives being snuffed out. An unidentified movie somewhere in the universe disagrees with my beliefs. We gotta have our priorities. Light the fires, boys.