CCP: Man-up You Sally Bitch!

August 07, 2006 | Comments (0) | by T.R.

Colin threw sports to the wind today, and decided to talk about televisions for 12 agonizing minutes. Apparently the poor sap can't decide what new television to buy. Claiming he's an Average Joe just like the rest of us, he detailed his trip to the electronics store over the weekend, where he debated the plausibility of dropping upwards of $3,000 on a new HD or plasma idiot box. Ah, what a problem for the Average Joe to have. It sure makes "paying the bills" or "assuring the children have a college fund" look like cake. This subject really spoke to us all I'm sure.

Cowherd then rants on all of the extra warranty and surge protection garbage, etc. that the TV salesman tries to add on to your purchase. A solid 10 minutes of his monologue is dedicated to comparing a television purchase to that of an automobile. This I totally understand; last time I bought a TV, the dealer continued low-balling me on my trade-in. I ended up selling it just a shade below the Bluebook price in my yard to an old lady who was only going to use it for the local news and Wheel of Fortune. Man, did I work her over.

My point is, instead of complaining about how difficult it is to buy a new TV, grow a pair and take care of it like a man. Do a little research on the Internet. One hour should suffice. You could even spread that time out into three 20-minute increments and have a new television this week.

On to the analysis:

Was his topic/view informative?
No, it wasn't even sports-related. -1
Did he dig a little deeper than just re-hashing the top story?
He harped on something that no one cared to hear on a Monday morning. I have no time for this. -1
Did he give credence to the other side of the story?
No, he did not tell of the plight of the commissioned salesman. Even though I hate them too, I cannot in good conscience let this stand. -1
Did he use a fake voice?
Amazingly, no.
Did he repeat one thought/idea/analogy incessantly?
Yes, he kept comparing the warranty and surge protection to getting rust-coating on a new car. Just stop. -1
Did he make an assumption or exaggerate to help prove his point?
Well, he assumed that all or most of his listeners have been through this process. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say they haven't. Some of them can't relate, and some have their own problems to worry about, they don't want to hear yours. They tune you in for the news, not Consumer Reports. -1
Did he contradict an earlier stance without saying he changed his mind?
I can't tell if he ever took a stance on anything here, unless "buying a new TV is annoying" is a stance. -1
Did he alienate a good portion of his listening audience (like presumably over 30%)?
It's highly likely that a lot of people tuned him out today. -1

Final Score: 1 (out of 8) Good God man, cover a sports story tomorrow.