Ask These 3 Questions Before Saying Yes to the First Date StaffMar. 20, 2019
Find out a few things before your first date
It's time to think about online dating strategically. Every date you waste on someone who clearly isn’t a good fit, is time you could be spending dating someone with whom you have more in common.

Don't go on a first date with someone who you hardly know, only to find out that they are not a good fit within the first five minutes. Your next hour will be wasted on “just get through it" conversation. Sure, asking a few questions before setting up the date might take a tad more time and energy, but it will save you an evening in the end. Dating sites like Zoosk


But still, don't even think about saying yes to a date before you vet him with these 3 essential online dating questions.

QUESTION 1: What do you do for a living?

Purpose: The question “What do you do for a living?" reveals much more than just how much money someone makes. Their work hours, vacations, and priorities are dictated large part by the career they choose. If his career doesn't match your personality, if the lifestyle it requires doesn't align with that which you have determined appropriate for you, if you simply can't stand what your guy does for a living, maybe he's not the one. 

After all, in addition to taking up his time and requiring his attention, he chose that career, he decided that he wanted to live that lifestyle, put in those hours, and spend the rest of his days plugging away doing that. This says a lot about a person and what’s important to them.



How to ask it: “You mention in your profile that you are a doctor. I'd imagine that most would say that is an admirable career—which I agree with, but I'd love to know what impassioned you to become a doctor and what continues to drive you to do it?"

Why ask it in this way? Because you are not grilling or interrogating a subject. You are trying to learn more about them in a conversational way. Weave your words to make your questions seem more natural. You might also want to add what you do and why. This way you are showing them what your expectations are by setting an example. It's a method known as, “I'll show you mine, then you show me yours."

QUESTION 2: “Why?"




and therefore learning if he's right for you.


Purpose: By asking questions, you allow him the opportunity to open up, delve deeper into subjects that he might normally not talk about, and maybe even tap into a raw and vulnerable side that he isn't accustomed to exploring. By asking “why"—in a non-threatening or patronizing way of course, you are expressing true interest—a key component to a successful relationship: Interested and interesting. You are interested in him, what he has to say, what his values, beliefs, and perspectives are. You are interested in his day, his past, and being a part of his future. And he, too, is interested in you.



  • Why did you decide to be an attorney?

  • Why do you love romance movies?

  • Why do you love photography as a hobby?


  • Why does your family eat tamales on Christmas instead of a traditional turkey or ham?



Sample (and real) Answers:



Example 2- “1. I lived in Japan for a year when I was 17. 2. I DJ as a hobby. 3. I don't own a TV, but I love “Game of Thrones” so I get together with a group of friends whenever there is a new episode. 4. I know the best sushi restaurant in L.A. (Go ahead... challenge me!) 5. I have a motorcycle license."


Let's admit it, everyone has their deal-breakers. For me, it's motorcycles. For others, it's workaholics or wine snobs. Thankfully, offers a “Deal Breakers" options, which automatically narrows down your dating pool by eliminating any potential matches whose lifestyle choices fundamentally don't align with yours. Keep these questions in mind—they are your key to online dating success. Now go test them out! Check out our top-ranked dating sites now. StaffJun. 18, 2019