May 30, 2007


Nature and I don't get along very well. We coexist, but rather not deal with each other. Light sensitivity and all that means we're not gonna have a good time.

I found out this applies even when generally hiding from it. Was goign to write this morning, but birds chirping outside (had front door open for the breeze) really bugged me. I can't write when it's quiet, but apparently I need my noise rather than nature taunting me.

I tried to write a bit last week too, and the power went out. Maybe it was a hint.

I think I'm overdue for a nap, but we'll see what can be mustered up today... other than the sleepy cobwebs, I can feel creativity waiting and brewing underneath.

May 24, 2007

Quick update.

It's warm- AccuWeather says mid-80's. Thank the gods for the breeze! Much nicer than old place, even if we have to put up with mice (the bad kind, though we haven't seen them since that one day) and idiots driving by with bass up too high for anyone's good. Idiots. *grumble*

Appointment with Claire got moved back, a week from Monday now.

Gonna go try to write some more.

Edit- Maybe not. I did add a few sentences, but that was it.

The front door is open to cash in on some of that gusty wind to help with the temperatures and air flow. I'm hearing conversations, cars, and the 'bonkies' from our wood chimes outside the front door, and it's too distracting. I'm a little paranoid about having just the screen door open and not paying full attention with headphones on. I know the chances of anything happening are slim, but we are in a transitional neighborhood and idiots are more rampant when the temp's warmed up.....

Music can be a help sometimes, but it can be a distraction at other times. When I started the story, it was a help, it kept my mood up and was just in a 'good zone'. Those times are always fun. Today, though, I couldn't find music I liked so it was mroe of a distraction having to change it every song or two.

No big deal, though. I've got Stephen Lynch on DVD from Netflix to watch, so I'll find some food, take a breather, and give it a shot tomorrow morning when it's cooled off.

May 23, 2007

Eek, it's RoboTymme!

I had that visit from the 'vendor' (it's two people, though only one came here) that sells Jordy.

I tried out a few things. I tried Jordy first. I could be out in the living room, and with the right magnification settings, could read the bag of coffee on the far end of the kitchen, probably 25' away! It also had useful modes for reading text, adding a stand, etc.

I tried a similar product afterwards, but forgot what it was, and wasn't that impressed anyway... it didn't have the zoom and wasn't as clear with what it showed, etc.

I also learned about the Amigo, which is a portable CCTV magnifier. It worked really well for sitting on the table and reading text that was under it.

So, both of these are going to go to Claire tomorrow and be on my recommendation (well, 'required') list, along with a smaller LCD screen that both can connect to so that I can use them without wearing them, etc. The lady that did the demonstration today will also be coming back once I/we have the equipment to help me get a better feel for it, which isn't bad.

Kacy even got 'hired' for helping her with a small rehearsal dinner/cookout in July for her son... so it was a productive day overall!

Haven't done much in the way of writing. Quirky sleeping habits have left me frazzled, and the glare on sunny days seems to scatter my mind as well. (Random conversations from Kacy seem to get on my nerves and are more frequent lately, too, which always kills my writing ability.) Kacy will be babysitting for one of the daycare's families once a week for a little extra cash, though, so I'll have a night to myself soon, and can hopefully use that to my advantage.

May 22, 2007


Not much new to report. Kacy saw a mouse yesterday morning, but we'd already started cleaning anyway... this just helped push the effort and will hopefully get her to stop nesting and leaving food out so much. We also picked up a few traps and put them out, but haven't checked them to see if we caught anything yet.

Went out last nite with Kacy and her gf Heather. They're good friends, and she lives a block east of us, but just haven't managed to get together much w/ conflicting schedules. Tried out a bar downtown, had a yummy calzone and a bit to drink, but nothing special. Went to her place afterwards and talked for a few hours.

So, now I'm working on my paper that's a day late, which is 1 letter grade drop... but not that concerned about it; I wasted the day yesterday exercising my creativity by playing SimCity 4 and then going out, so it's my fault. Think SimCity was just what I was looking for lately; I've had the creative spark, but not in writing as much. SimCity's a good way to get the brain stirring again.

I've still got the story to work on, and have the 'spark' there, too... just timing isn't the best. With Kacy working short weeks and not having class/etc., by the time I'm awake enough to write (or waking back up from a nap), she's getting home. Her hours will be longer starting next week, so that should help. Once I"m caught up in class, and have Heroes watched, I'll have this week free, too. So, here's to hoping for more scribblings in the near future....

May 17, 2007

Close, but no cigar.

Short day today.

After seeing Claire yesterday, saw Gerry today with my oh-so-lovely monster sunglasses. They helped, we tested what I could see for signs and street lights & stuff. Just a quick test, worked fairly well. Done in about 25 mins or so.

Then I saw Claire again. We were gonna try the CCTs to see if those would help, but started dealing with the stuff the Doc (I can't remember her name) suggested yesterday. Fiddled w/ magnifiers, monoculars, etc. I'm getting my regular glasses, a few hand-held magnifiers (instead of reading glasses), wraparound sunglasses, and a few other toys. I've also gotta demo and might end up using Jordy, too. All provided for by the State.

We didn't have enough time to play with the CCTV magnifiers, so I'll be going back for one more hour next Thursday. That's all, though, until the staffing when I get the results/recommendations (which I basically already know). After that, I'll start the official orientation classes and whatever else is on the recommendations (like getting ZoomText Magnifier, etc.). Some red tape to cut through with stuff, like the glasses, but will be worth it overall.

Havent' done anything with my story since I played NWN last night and these have ben kinda draining. I might tonight, and go back to my quiet mornings tomorrow/next week, so plenty of time to catch up. I wanna get back to it, I actually feel compelled to write more! Woo.

May 16, 2007

One more....

Well, today was ... quick.

I got in around regular time (8:00) cuz I was gettign a ride alogn with someone else, the same lady I got a ride with on Monday. Didn' get into the doctor til a little after 9. Did the usual eye exam, got a decent look into my eyes (for once). Checked out distance vision and reading vision. I don't know if I'll have separate glasses for each thing (we went over a little bit timewise), but am getting new glasses courtesy of the State of Wisconsin (via DVR). I'm also gonna get a monocular for distance vision (seeing street signs, etc.)

Hour two (or most of it) was with Claire, an occupational therapist. We filled out info for cheap bus tickets first, then tried on glare-reeducing stuff. I'll end up with custom-fit sunglasses that are tight against my head to block out vision. Tried out some interesting pairs that worked okay, dark blues, dark greens, etc. Went with a really dark gray. Gonna have to work something out with wrap-around sunglasses that get really close to my face to block out all the side light. Custom setup guess, will find out more from Claire about it tomorrow.

Best part is this is all covered by DVR; I won't be paying anything. Woo.

I had one more appointment w/ Jennifer at 9:30, and w decided tht was enough. I see Gerry tomorrow at 12:30 for trying out stuff with the sunglasses and cane (just to get an idea) and then Claire, and then I'm all done; a few weeks from now we'll have a meeting where we go over all this info again w/ my DVR counselor. Her and I talked yesterday, too, so we got some decent contact in.

Overall a fun experience. Lotsa laughs, and felt really good to be around people that were in similar boat as I was... about half the counselors had vision probs, espec developing later in life. Dealt with several other people coming in for evaluations and other training (computer stuff, orientation, etc) too, so ran the gamut of people to talk to.

I've got more in general thoughts, but mind's wandering about tonight and tired, espec after the eye doctor this morning- keeping eye open is a lot of work, as is dealing iwth less-than-the-most-effective sunglasses. I'll post again after tomorrow's meeting with more details and some thoughts overall.

May 15, 2007

Day two....

More of the same today, good times overall.

Gerry was first. This time we worked on using a blind guide (e.g., someone else) leading. I'd helped guide my mom and stuff before, but hadn't been on the receiving end much. Special techniques for wandering around in the dark (blocking face/groin), special ways to open doors depending on open-in/open-out and which side, etc. A bit of overkill, but it's part of the training.

Jennifer in hour 2. Learned about a news-by-phone service and looked at the store w/ various talking clocks, watches, thermometers, etc.- all sorts of stuff.

Hour 3 was Rob. Basically talked about how things were going, and seemed like stuff was fine. Talked about social aspects a bit, and got some suggestions there. Got done early and really didn't have to do much. Add him to the list of people I don't need to see again (one more meeting was gonna be on Thurs).

Lunch after that. Got done w/ Rob early so I had my lunch done by the time my actual lunch hour started. It was really warm and muggy yet; AC had just gotten turned on, storm hadn't passed through yet, etc., so it was good napping time. Girl that was next to me was having an evaluation done too, so we talked a little bit before I dozed off for most the hour.

Gerry again after lunch, with cane training up/down stairs. Interesting techniques, but I picked them up fast. Prob got done in about a half hour or so, even doing it with my eyes closed so I wasn't cheating as much.

The dr. I'm gonna see tomorrow morning is gonna be a bit late, but should still have decent amount of time in the morning. After her I see Claire, who's a low vision specialist, and has different devices, lens stuff, etc., to help with glare and other big issues. Can't wait for that.

Jennifer's said she's almost done w/ me. Troy's been done since day 1. Rob's done. That leaves Claire and Gerry (after one or two more hours with Jennifer), and I'm good to go! I doubt I'll be lucky enough to get it done tomorrow, but a short day on Thursday for sure. Then a few weeks, and a 'staffing' meeting with my DVR counselor and the people I've worked with, to tell me what's going on, what they've found from the evaluation, etc.

Overall, much better experience than I thought. Serious but not oerly so, lotsa information, lots of ego-stroking (having known and adapted a lot already). It's all good. I'll be glad when it's done tho.

)For the story- have the intro done. Probably write more tonight, got into a flow I like, just a matter of getting it written now.)

May 14, 2007

One down, three to go....

Not quite what I expected today, but decent overall.

Hour 1- Rob, 'overall' evaluator. General idea of what was going on for the day(s); rate how my vision works as it deals with x, y, z; get basic info about my condition; etc.

Hour 2- Troy, I/T Guy. More like half-hour. Typing test, few options I sorta knew about. Few good IT jokes, and I'm not seeing him for any of the other sessions I'm scheduled for with him... get to go home early the next few weeks instead.

Hour 3- Jennifer, Living Skills lady. (Cute in the 'mousy' kinda way.) Basic living skills- getting an idea of stuff I can/can't do as far as reading, cleaning, cooking, etc.

Hour 4- Lunch. More like 1:20 or so cuz Jennifer and I got to a stopping point kinda early. Already had about 5-10 mins after Rob's meeting and 20 mins after Troy's meeting, so was done w/ sitting around all day by this point.

Hour 5- Gerry, mobility training. Learned the basics of orientation and mobility, which I pretty much already knew, and started using a cane a little bit, tried a few different 'tips' in the basement of the complex and outside.

Hour 6- Jennifer again. Detailed stuff like certain pens, writing guides, etc.

Then, home! Yaeee!!! Same people tomorrow. Vision specialist on Weds and also an ... optometric therapist?... basically the one that suggests various low-vision aids like magnifiers, etc.

Afer that, jsut an evaluation meeting at some later point, and then whatever else results from that meeting. I'll ahve more mobility/cane training with Gerry but that's already reduced to less than half the normal time because I already use a lot of the things he teaches; it's more dealing with cane travel and learning that. Not sure what all else.

Overall, not too bad. Quite a few different people to talk to, and some perspective showing through. Had a few times I was with different people, and all the people at the center are blind/VH themselves. Rob told me about losing his sight in his twenties, having to develop and cope with changes, etc. I know I'm fortunate in that I've had my whole life to adapt. I'm also nowhere near as bad with what vision I do have, as those without completely.

Overall a pretty light-hearted, friendly atmosphere. I'll be happy when it's done, but other than the time between sessions, it's not that bad. (I could stand to get the chicken dance outta my head after hearing it on the ride in there this morning... ugh!)

Sugar's kicking in I think, headache's disappearing, comfy tempwise, gf's studying or otherwise occupied on laptop... think I'll try writing.

May 9, 2007

Stepping outside the box.

Per one of the comments on my last post about NaNoWriMo and who to write, I'm being pushed out of the box of my comfort zone for writing. Though my thoughts got derailed this afternoon (details on that following this post), I've been given a challenge.

Hopefully, by next Monday, I'll have another story written. It's an as-of-yet-unnamed kid's story. I had the idea for it as we were talking about it. I have to have it by Monday, though I don't know what's pushing me to do so. (I'd say I'm trying, but trying isn't good enough, heh. I have to know I'll do it.)

So, the most I can say, is stay tuned next week. No new erotica, but it's something.

Beginnings & In-Betweens

This afternoon, I got the call back from Badger, the vision testing place. I didn't realize the process for my evaluation was going to take so long. It's six hours for each of four days next week, with a half hour lunch. I don't know what could take that long; I'd have asked the person that talked to me, but her Latin accent was very thick, so I got what info I could understand out of the conversations and left it at that. I should be getting a letter to cover it in more details, I think.

The last vision-related test I took (other than for glasses) was in 8th or 9th grade, back in Junior High. I don't remember if it was just for gym, but I remember some tests of my depth perception, like bouncing a ball at me to catch it, etc. They used one of the big kickball balls, which I could tell well enough to do decently. A tennis ball definitely wouldn't have had the same results. I don't think this will be anything like that, though.

I'm excited, but also quite nervous. As is, I survive (at least in the lowest form of the word) on my own; I do get some help from others, but can generally 'go it alone' if it's the only option. The help I get, especially from gf and friends, is something they've come to understand and accept as a part of me. I don't think about it, nor do they (or at least they don't bring it up). My best friend Dan, for example, knows to walk on the left side where I can see him; it's become second nature.

Actively thinking about these limitations, as these test will surely do (and already have started to, to an extent) brings back chains of memories from early childhood through high school; anger and hurt towards the teasing I received, and anger that I was, and still am, an "in-between".

In-between is the worst place to be. I'm not normal enough to fully integrate into things like school, yet not shoveled into the Short Bus to be stealthily transported to the out-of-sight, out-of-mind Special Ed room. If I'm standing out waiting for the city bus, I look like a weirdo- hands covering my eyes, head tilted, etc. Move that out of the way, though, and I look like an average dork w/ glasses. You wouldn't be able to tell that I can't make out anything about you beyond vague details until you're 2' or less from me. I just ran into you and am an asshole, not a half-blind innocent victim who just got blindsided because I can't see anything past my nose, including you.

Anyhoo... these tests are designed to purposely test my limitations. Being confronted with them is a good thing, because I need to learn to accept them and find what I can to deal with them. It'll be offering help in ways I don't know about and can't manage on my own. At the same time, though, it also acts as a reminder of things I'd rather leave buried in the back recesses of my mind. It's going to be an agonizing week.

May 8, 2007

A different approach...

I've got no problem with writing; I think that's pretty evident. So, I'm gonna try turning my focus towards setting up a plot to follow instead- once i have that mapped out, I can probably write with no/less problem.

It's still a big step- so many options, so many possibilities, and so many hangups about 'what makes this different'. I've had some ideas pop into my head, and still have that prologue rambling about; might even work on that today, since I'm at least semi-coherent. Even just now, in trying to think of actual plots, rather than the story itself, my mind has more and more ideas popping into it as I write this.

I read about NaNoWriMo this morning, which I'd heard of last year, and might actually organize myself into giving it a shot. That means less writing and more focus on outlining/plot/etc., and assembling it all at once.. but ya never know. I'd love to eventually get something in print- the Leo in me wants recognition.

Blogs won't be interrupted, and I'm sure I'll toss in a quickie once in a while, based on moods... but overall, I think trying to set up for NaNoWriMo might be a good idea for getting myself organized. Time may be a problem since I'm looking at my last few classes for school, but we'll see when we get there.

May 7, 2007

One-eyed Tymme & Suicide Kings

Got the laundry done yesterday, but that was about it... not much else for productivity. Watched Suicide Kings last night- thoroughly enjoyable movie. Then again, I'm a big fan of Jay Mohr and Denis Leary, and enjoy those kinds of movies that 'jump around' a bit. It was pretty creative, and in a genre I kind of enjoy but don't know enough about to write something well there.

The biggest hangup I have with writing, I think, is originality. I don't know how so many movies, books, etc., can be so original after all this time. There's a lot that take a pattern and run with it- Shrek, 2, 3, 4... Spiderman, 2, 3, 4... whatever. It's been the case with video games and other walks of life, too- any old gamer knows Capcom can't count past three. Sometimes people find the right groove (look at Heroes, for example).. but there's a lot more that just gets rehashed... and I don't want to be that, nor cna I find that groove that is't done.

I've never been a setting/plot guy. The architect personality type fits me well- I'll take an idea and make sure it looks its best... but have to have someone else to actually build that foundation. (I flip between architect (INTP) and artist (INFP). Go figure.)

Day by day, though, things are getting better. Writing on here helps a lot, it gets me into the habit of writing regularly. I still have to deal with some issues (like poor sleeping and allergies) but it's coming along far better now that I write so regularly. Maybe I need to start spending more time focusing on pulling out the plots and story lines; I know my writing ability is there... I just need something to write!

May 5, 2007

One of those days.

I'm annoyed at today- though it's the same every weekend, today is particularly bugging me for not being productive. Rolled out of bed around 10am, gf finally showed signs of life around noon, and neither of us did much.

PC time off/one all day, but nothing got accomplished. There's not a lot to do, but enough- dishes and laundry, mostly. Neither happened; just sat around on the PC off and on, and when 5pm rolled around, got dinner going (grilled up some brats) before racing started at 6. The race got delayed due to rain, I think they called it at something like 7:40 or so. Watched an hour and some of cops, then part of news, and now on here writing this.

I don't really have any idea how, but think I want to be creative. Not easy to do now tho, again, the issue with gf being home and how just her presence (we've been pretty good about not interrupting each other) throws my creative mojo off-kilter.

I don't have much in the way of ideas, though. I do have the idea from that one prologue I started to write, and might try to re-shape it again... the only problem is once I've shaped something (like I started with that story), it's hard to get it back to my satisfaction. It might be good, but the original vision is lost, and that ruins it.

I did manage to lose and rewrite the vision in the last erotic story I wrote, though, so maybe my horizons are expanding. I'll let it float around a few days and see what I come up with. My next class starts again Tuesday, but the first week is always slow, so hopefully I'll find some time and ways to spark my creative juices.

We were gonna run to the fitness store and Best Buy to check out some stuff (we want exercise equipment and a new TV stand), but now that the ace is tomorrow instead, I dunno if we'll do anything useful this weekend. We still ahve to go grocery shopping, too- we skipped that today due to the time we were motivated enough and the fact it was Cinco de Mayo. Probably wouldn't have even thought about it if I hadn't hooked up the new HD box and antenna; the TV's been on more often this past week (an extra 5 or so hours beyond Heroes and NASCAR) than before. Maybe it's rotting my brain and that's why I can't write. Yeah, I'll blame TV for my problems- everyone else does!

May 4, 2007

Birhgt light! Bright light!

I'm light-sensitive. VERY light sensitive. Bright sunlight has me walking with my eyes almost closed, sometimes even w/ sunglasses on (though they usually help). Hazy days are even worse than bright, sunny days, though.

Winter is worse, because it always likes to get nice and bright after a snowstorm moves through. Glare is ridiculous- makes my eye water just thinking about it. What's worse is used to have my ee doc's appointment in January. It seemed to NEVER fail to snow soon before and be sunny the day I went. Dilated pupils make light sensitivity that much more fun! I am getting out more and it's getting better (as is being somewhere w/ windows instead of holed up in the basement), but it's always gonna suck.

I don't know if it it's the light-sensitivity, or something else, but along the same lines, I can't tilt my head back for long periods of time. I can barely do drops, and forget trying to hold my eye open to do them- touch it and I'll squint closed even harder.

It sucks for this time of year- I've known for about 5 or so years (well maybe closer to 10) that I've had allergies. Was a decent day out but eyes were going nuts when I went into work one day, and checked Weather Channel's website and pollen count (or something) was way high. Kept track and it definitely made an influence.

So, I've got allergy drops for now, some I got from the doctor at my last visit and my gf had some organic ones. I had her help putting one in yesterday, and we lost the first drop down my cheek. Second one got in, but could feel it didn't coat everything... part as feeling better, soothed, etc., while the rest wasn't.

Toss in glasses that are scratched along with this, and it makes for a hard time sitting around here! I amazingly only napped once this week, Weds, for an hour or two (since I knew I was gonna be up late playing NWN). The rest of the week has been suffering through icky vision and headaches and gnereally staying indoors.

Oh well, I'll take spring and allergies over winter temps any day! Though the headaches have killed most any creative processes once the day starts moving along... *sigh* More for the future, I suppose.

Edit- Went out for a while today. Maybe I'll take winter back... maybe. Went to Chipotle for lunch, then the mall, then Usinger's for some sausages for the newxt few weeks. It was that icky 'barely bright', not really hazy, but sun just between the clouds. I've got a raging headache, and eyes feel like crap. What's worse is it makes me think about how helpless I am. I could barely keep eyes open enough to follow Kacy's feet. Without that, I'd sure have been SOL.

The headache is bad, the eye pain is bad... gonna nap off those two. The sinking depression-like feelings are a lot harder to get rid of, though....

May 3, 2007

Hooray for video games!

There's lots of media attention towards video games, and not in a good way. First thing that was blamed for the VA Tech shooting, Columbine, etc. The media is starting to wake up and realize they can't toss all the blame in video games' basket and be done with it, though.

I personally don't play any of the FPS games that they mention- stuff like Halo, Counter Strike, etc., just doesn't interest me in the slightest. Some of it's due to vision (the ultra-realistic dark corridors and enemy headquarters are particular tough to see in, for example), but more of it is just an overall lack of interest in the genre. I CAN play them if I choose, but don't; the last time I played one of those games was probably back around 2000 or so at a LAN party. I got slaughtered, which was fine- it was fun with friends.

That doesn't mean I don't play games which can be violent. I've played Grand Theft Auto (owned 3 and Vice City) enough. I play NeverWinter Nights (NWN) with graphics on excessive (or whatever the highest 'gore' setting is). It's not designed to be blood and gore like the other games- I think it's laughable.

NWN is a great once-a-week event, getting together with a friend I see maybe once a year since he moved away and some other friends. It's currently my main social outlet besides instant messages (no work, no local schooling, no care for drinking/bars/clubs equals no real social opportunities). We joke around and have fun.

NWN is even a double evil! There's that naughty violence that everyone's so worried about now, and the whole D&D/fantasy thing everyone was worried about 20 years ago! (Ever see Mazes & Monsters?) Uh-oh!

Yet I (at least in the eyes of anyone I've talked to) turned out fine. I'm not gonna go run and grab a sword and slice apart my upstairs neighbors' cats. In fact, I'll be sitting here, brainstorming an idea for a fantasy story. Totally malevolent, evil person I am, no?

Sure, it might be a bit different for me. I grew up with text-based games like Rogue, NetHack, and Zork. I had the Nintendo and SNES and 'sweat' in my Mortal Kombat video games... and not a lot of detail at that. Compared to the realism of today's games, I can see how there might be a hint at more of a problem... but c'mon. Are we getting ready to blame Canada for this epidemic too?

May 1, 2007

Teh decline of civilization.

I suppose that could almost be the title for a story post, but that isn't it. I thought I still had the story from before, but I don't... not on RoadRunner, or my hard drive. I knew some stuff didn't copy over from my old HD that had it, but figured this would've. No such luck, so I'll start over as soon as I can flesh out the idea. In the meantime, though, you get to read a different thesis. :P

The rant is about people in general; males in particular. I'm a guy, and a perv. Par for the course. Sometimes, though, I really hate being reminded of that, like this morning.

Make sure you keep following the bouncing ball here- it's needed for back-story.

*deap breath* I held w/ admin stuff on a friend's adult site. This includes bonuses of all her content. That content includes a cam show site. That site has a handful of models from all sorts of different sites. You sign up for one of the models' sites, you get access to their cam shows plus all the others on that cam site. A model broadcasts to the server and people can connect and watch/listen, for one-hour shows; you can also talk in an accompanying chat room.

One of the gals on that cam site is called Topaz. She's a short, cute, BBW Jersey girl. I like watching her shows. (I'm a huge fan of BBWs, for those that haven't followed me from elsewhere to hear it before; I'll have to post my comments on that at some point.) A week or two ago, I added her when she gave out her MySpace info.

Day or two ago, Topaz posts bulletins and a blog saying she was robbed- few grand in cash, computer, camera, and other stuff. I checked the cam site and saw she's still listed for a show this morning, so I pop in to see if she's gonna show up and relay messages if not.

*finally exhales* Ok, now the fun part.

So, she ends up being a no-show. Hoped otherwise, but figured such might happen. So, I start relaying the info off/on when the 'y no show?' comments get grunted out.

I stuck around that chat room for too long. I know part of it's the nature of the beast, but watching males geared up to see T&A can be frightening. Lack of spelling, fine... understandable, the net's rampant with it. Moreso with pants around ankles waiting impatiently. I can even understand the nature of the comments, given what should be going on.

Watching 'females' (it's just screen names, so who knows) wander in proves a downright scary state. The three that did were asking for it (JaneLovesGirls or something, HotLady, whatever), but you could see the pounce as it happened. Barely grunting out 'guys too?' to JaneLovesGirls, giggled responses from her/it. More than one cock (size) fight in the 25 mins or so I was there. Two other girls ended up leaving after 5+ yahoo IM name & cam requests. I probably could've said *grunt grunt belch grunt* and had 5 or 6 people respond in agreement... though I wouldn't have known what I said. Round them up, throw 'em in the wild, and watch them start flinging poo and beating each other with clubs.

I see the same thing on an acquaintance's blog. (I don't know her personally; I used to see her on AWC and just drop a comment once in a while.) Granted, the blog is primarily about her sexual exploits (or at least nearly equal with other life experiences), but the comments there are hardly better. Heaven forbid there's more than a story or two that doesn't deal with sex- 'more sex stuff please' has shown up more than once.

I can relate at times, though. Everyone (self included) gets those 'need to be fucked silly' moments. I look in hindsight at the way I act, and feel ashamed. It's primal nature, but we're above that- we have the ability to think beyond, do more with our lives... ...don't we?

Times like this make me think otherwise. Same with middle/high school kids on the bus. How our society can get anywhere, at least through representations of these groups of individuals, is beyond me. How did survival bring us to this point- who was the ostracized ape that decided we needed to work on shelter and language rather than throwing poo and having sex all day?

...I think that's it. I don't know that I had a point, or solution, but felt good to get it off my chest. Now, 'scuse me while I go find (or make) some poop to fling and swing from the ceiling fan. *grunt grunt*