The Happiness Patrol was the second serial of season 25 of Doctor Who. It was intended (by the writers) to be a parody of Thatcherism, with Helen A representing Margaret Thatcher herself. (DOC: Happiness Will Prevail)

Synopsis Edit




Plot Edit

Part 1 Edit

A woman wanders down and dark hallway playing melancholy blues when she is approached by a man calling himself Silas P. He says that there is a place for her to meet with others and outwardly discuss her sadness, and gives her his card. However, this all turns out to be a ruse, and Silas whistles for the 'Happiness Patrol' to arrest her. Elsewhere, the TARDIS materialises in another dark hallway, and the Seventh Doctor and Ace emerge. Ace is disenchanted by the chirpy 'lift music' playing through the speakers, and the Doctor explains it to be an Earth colony on the planet Terra Alpha, with a lot of rumours circulating it.

Silas P brings himself before Helen A, who presents him with a promoting badge for successfully capturing the 'killjoy'. She gets suspicious, however, when he brings up his ambition. The Doctor and Ace continue to search the corridors, when they encounter a businessman who identifies as Trevor Sigma. A group of women from the Happiness Patrol arrive by the TARDIS in a security vehicle and begin painting it pink. Acknowledging something is off, the Doctor devises a plan to get arrested so they can investigate. Returning to the TARDIS, the pair are caught out by one of the Happiness Patrol, Daisy K, for not having identity badges; the Doctor is arrested as a spy, while Ace is sent to audition for the Happiness Patrol.

Helen A and her husband, Joseph C, watch one of her promotional broadcasts at home. The Doctor and Ace encounter a former servant to Helen A, Harold V, formerly known as Harold F, playing a cash game, the prize for which is a video of Helen A delivering a terrible joke written by him. The guard, Priscilla P explains that while they aren't in a prison, she would shoot the Doctor should he try to escape.

Silas P leads a recently arrested killjoy into a large room and places him beneath a large metal pipe ready for sentencing. Meanwhile, Harold V explains to the Doctor that the Happiness Patrol were the better aspect of Helen A's rule; the other would be being given to the Kandy Man, an unseen party to Helen A's rule who conducts experiments on citizens. Elsewhere, Helen A calls Gilbert M into her office wanting to know what punishment the Kandy Man has devised. The killjoy is declared guilty of displaying public grief, wearing dark clothing and is sentenced to execution. Helen A remotely drops the metal pipe to encapsulate the killjoy and signals the Kandy Man to fill the pipe with a flavouring mixture, drowning him.


The Kandy Man.

As the Doctor and Ace plot to escape, Helen A sends a signal to the game Harold V is playing, firing a fatal electric shock, killing him instantly. Meanwhile, Kandy Man is approached by Gilbert M. Harold V's body is taken away by the Happiness Patrol, and the Doctor figures out a way to take a booby-trapped go-cart to escape. The Doctor disengages the bomb attached to the engine and Ace drives off; the guard does absolutely nothing to stop them.

Ace is recaptured by the Happiness Patrol and brought to audition, while the Doctor escapes in the go-cart. While auditioning, Ace has a heart-to-heart with Susan Q, a secretly-depressed member of the Happiness Patrol who struggles under Helen A's reign. Seeing that Ace could help, she gives her the key and allows her to escape, but she is later discovered and recaptured by Daisy K. Silas P finds the Doctor and signals for the Happiness Patrol, but is knocked unconscious by a blues player called Earl Sigma, who helps the Doctor escape. The Happiness Patrol arrive and execute Silas P. The Doctor and Earl make their way into the Kandy Man's lair, the Kandy Kitchen. Gilbert M arrives for a meeting with Kandy Man, and the Doctor and Earl are discovered.

Part 2 Edit

Daisy K and the Happiness Patrol frogmarch Ace through the colony back to the waiting zone, while she questions their feelings about Helen A's rule. Priscilla P seems to determined for her execution. The Doctor and Earl are tied up by Kandy Man, who explains his creative manners of execution. The Doctor plays on Kandy Man's insecure temper to get him to stick himself to the floor using lemonade, while he frees himself and Earl and escapes.

Priscilla P continues to hold Ace at gunpoint, when the Happiness Patrol drag Susan Q into the waiting zone, having discovered her duplicity. The Doctor and Earl wander through a pipe which had carried a form of syrup for execution. The Doctor deduces that the pipe had not been used for a while, and suggests Earl not play his harmonica, as certain noises could bring down the crystallised syrup formed within the pipe. Back in the Kandy Kitchen, Gilbert M returns and threatens Kandy Man back into submission. The Doctor and Earl continue through the pipe and find a footprint, before being running into a group of creatures, referred to as pipe people or Wences. Ace and Susan Q remain under Priscilla P's guard, and Susan Q continues to feel grief at the fact that she wouldn't be missed after her execution, despite Ace's pleas that she can help.

The Wences hold the Doctor and Earl at spear-point before Earl manages to distract them by playing the harmonica. One of the creatures, Wulfric, uses 'wicked' as an expletive and the Doctor realises that it has spotted Ace. It tells him that she was captured. Helen A gives Daisy K the order to have Susan Q, to Ace's disgust and fury. Wulfric arrives and distracts Priscilla P long enough for Ace to escape. The Wences lead the Doctor and Earl through the pipes to a manhole. The Doctor climbs through the manhole and encounters Trevor Sigma again, while Earl goes off on his own.

Helen A discusses the rebellion with Daisy K, who informs her that they have travelled into the tunnels. Helen A sends her pet Fifi to search for them. Meanwhile, Earl hides from a group of factory strikers protesting against the Happiness Patrol. Ace is escorted through the tunnels by Wulfric, while the Happiness Patrol sets Fifi in after them. The Doctor is brought before Helen A, who explains her rule to him and Trevor Sigma (who he had tricked using reverse psychology). When Helen A goes into her office for a broadcast, the Doctor sneaks in after her. Helen A then calls for security and the Doctor leaves.

In the tunnels, Ace and Wulfric are attacked by Fifi, whom Ace manages to subdue using a can of Nitro-9. Elsewhere, Gilbert M is still taunting Kandy Man over his predicament. The Doctor runs into Earl again, who informs him of the two snipers targeting the strikers. The Doctor makes his way up to the snipers, who hold him at gunpoint. The Doctor manipulates the sniper into handing him his gun and throws it away, and the other sniper does the same. Meanwhile, Daisy K presides at Susan Q's sentencing and declares her guilty. Helen A signals for the flavouring to be delivered, forcing Ace and the creature (who are still in the pipe) to flee. The Doctor returns to the Kandy Kitchen and offers Kandy Man an ultimatum; divert the flow and be unstuck from the floor. Kandy Man agrees and the Doctor uses water to unstick. While Wulfric flees into another pipe, Ace slides from the main pipe into the execution chamber where Susan Q is set to be executed, but Kandy Man diverts the flow and the pair survive. To Helen A's anger, Trevor Sigma informs her that they cannot be executed by those means again, however, he then states that an alternate execution can be arranged.

Kandy Man resumes to threaten the Doctor with death and he once again sticks Kandy Man to the floor with lemonade and flees. Ace and Susan Q are brought before Helen A, who tells them that they will be publicly auditioning for the Happiness Patrol. While they are taken for their auditions in the Forum, the Doctor finds a poster advertising Ace's audition and sends Earl to fetch the demonstrators. A citizen comes and paints on a poster of a previous audition contender: "R.I.P."

Part 3 Edit

The patrol escorts Ace and Susan Q to the Forum, while Helen A watches the strikers on her monitor and orders the Happiness Patrol to make them all 'disappear'. The Forum Doorman confirms Ace's place in the Forum and the Doctor goes to find her. Meanwhile, Helen A discusses her plans for revenge with Fifi. The Doctor is approached by Trevor Sigma, who gives him a list of everyone Helen A has made disappear over six months and leaves the planet. Helen A sets Fifi loose in the pipes again, causing the Wences to panic and flee. Ace and Susan Q are brought into the Forum by the Happiness Patrol and the Doctor distracts them with bouts of hysterical laughter and bringing in a group of happy citizens. While Priscilla P holds Daisy K and the others at gunpoint, the Doctor, Ace and Susan Q escape in the security vehicle.

Helen A and Joseph C hear over the loudspeakers that infighting is happening within the Happiness Patrol ranks and Helen A has Joseph C wait for Fifi, who continues to chase the Wences through the pipes. Priscilla P has Daisy K playing the rigged cash game when a live feed from Helen A appears and she tells Priscilla P to take her gun away from Daisy K and wait. Wulfric and the Wences run through the pipes and into the Doctor, Ace, Susan Q and Earl and they all flee from Fifi. Daisy K informs Helen A that the Doctor is in the pipes and she insists on letting Fifi deal with him. The Doctor sends Ace and Susan Q with the Pipe People and has Earl play his harmonica to lead Fifi to them. Fifi's howling brings the crystallised syrup down on her, killing her.

Helen A and Daisy K see that Priscilla P has been bound by Susan Q and Earl and signal the Kandy Man to bring the Doctor to them. At that moment, the Doctor and Ace arrive in the Kandy Kitchen. The Doctor distracts Kandy Man while Ace readies a heated poker as a weapon. The Doctor opens the oven, which erupts in flames, and Kandy Man flees into the pipe. The Doctor and Ace find Susan Q and Earl destroying the loudspeakers around the colony. Wulfric and the Wences storm the Kandy Kitchen and direct the flow of flavouring into the pipe he is in, destroying him, to Gilbert M's amusement. Tracking her falling empire, Helen A prepares to flee in an escape shuttle.

The Doctor and Ace say farewell to Wulfric and the Wences and exit the pipes, while Helen A's shuttle takes off. Helen A, not on board, contacts the shuttle and discovers that Gilbert M and her husband Joseph C have left her behind. The Doctor and Ace arrive looking for Helen A and are held at gunpoint by Daisy K when Susan Q disarms her and Earl ties her up. Helen A tries to escape through the tunnels, but she runs into the Doctor. He accuses her of lacking emotion and forcing it onto her subjects, but Helen A spitefully declares that she will run to a new planet and indict strict happiness yet again. However, as she leaves, she spots a dead Fifi lying outside the pipes and breaks down into tears.

Helen A's reign over, the Doctor and Ace make their goodbyes to Earl and Susan Q and prepare to leave in the TARDIS, after Ace finishes repainting it blue.

Cast Edit

Crew Edit

References Edit

The Doctor Edit


Culture Edit


Foods and beverages Edit


Individuals Edit

  • Ace wears a Charlton Athletic badge on her jacket.

Planets Edit

Species Edit


Story notes Edit

  • During the age of William Hartnell, there had been a proposal for a story called The Jokers. Although the plot was similar, it featured the opposite concept as in the proposed story, laughter was forbidden and being serious was the law, while with this story it's the other way around.

Ratings Edit

  • Part one - 5.3 million viewers
  • Part two - 4.6 million viewers
  • Part three - 5.3 million viewers

Myths Edit

  • This story was to promote homosexuality (This is not the case at all. In The Discontinuity Guide, Paul Cornell, Martin Day and Keith Topping identify a gay subtext to the story: "there's entrapment over cottaging, the TARDIS is painted pink, and the victim of the fondant surprise is every inch the proud gay man, wearing, as he does, a pink triangle. The story ends with Helen A's husband abandoning her and leaving with another man." However, the homosexual themes were not noticed by the BBC until this article was written.)

Filming locations Edit

Production errors Edit

  • When Gilbert M greets Helen A from aboard the escape shuttle in Part Three, he mistakenly refers to her as "Ellen Hay."

Continuity Edit

Home video and audio releases Edit


DVD Contents:

External links Edit

Footnotes Edit
