The Last Dodo

Roots: The I-Spyder book is clearly inspired by the I-Spy series of books. There are references to Milky Way bars, Bounty bars, Robin Hood, iPods, Sherlock Holmes, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, the Beatles, the Four Yorkshiremen sketch, the Four Tops, the Fantastic Four, Indiana Jones, Jordan, Supermarket Sweep, Alton Towers, Big Issue, and The Flintstones. There is a reference to the Mastermind Doctor Who Special.

Goofs: The Doctor claims he's never had pets in the TARDIS, so he's forgotten Wolsey (the TARDIS cat from the New Adventures), Ramsey (the Vortisaur from the Eighth Doctor audios), and arguably K-9 (the robot dog from the TV Series).

Dialogue Triumphs: "Well observed, that generic guard!"

"Hate what some of them do, hate some individuals if you must, hate intolerance and injustice and slaughter and man's inhumanity to man, but never, never hate people."

Continuity: Eve is the curator and creator of the Museum of the Lost Ones (MOTLO), which she claims houses the last remaining specimen of every otherwise extinct planet in the universe alive and in stasis: in fact, thus far it has only covered the Milky Way and parts of Andromeda. She goes mad and decides to wipe out all life in the universe except for one single specimen from every planet, starting with Earth. A gun sabotaged by the Doctor explodes and destroys her when she tries to shoot the Doctor and Martha. The museum encompasses the entire planet on which it is located. A control panel lets Eve now when only a single specimen of any life form remains, and she dispatches members of her staff to collect it via transmat medallions. MOTLO doesn't have time travel capabilities. The Daleks have vanished from existence and reappeared so often that Eve has given up trying to keep track of their extinct status. She wants to add the last of the Time Lords to MOTLO. Visitors to MOTLO include lizard men, one-eyed green creatures with strange haircuts, and jelly-like blobs with no visible eyes. The Doctor effectively brings an end to the museum by sending all of the exhibits back to the time and place they came from.

The Cirranins are similar in appearance to Stellar's sea cow, but much smaller and with arms instead of flippers. They have tusks and triangular eyes. Hr'oln is the last of the Cirranins, who destroyed themselves in a civil war that wiped out all life on their planet including the Vish, the Elipig, and the Grun. Hr'oln was off planet in an experimental shuttle at the time and tried to develop a way of preserving nearly-extinct species until they could be saved, to try and avoid other species suffering the fate of his own. He built Eve to help him with this, and to ensure that all species are preserved and remembered: she misunderstood and placed him in suspended animation before building MOTLO. After the Doctor releases him he plans to recreate dodos by cloning from Dorothea and the male dodo feather in the Doctor's possession and let them live on the MOTLO planet.

Prior to its destruction, Gallifrey didn't have a single extinction in its history. Eve is unable to determine exactly when it was destroyed (see The Gallifrey Chronicles).

The Doctor hates zoos, because he can't stand the idea of anything being confined, which apparently stems from his exile on Earth (see The War Games, Spearhead from Space). He has a dodo feather in the TARDIS. He and Martha pose as undercover agents from the Galactic Wildlife Trust. The psychic paper doesn't work on androids. The Doctor has seen a copy of Professor Dougal Dunnock's Fishy Fingers: Evolution from Sea to Land. He has a recurring dream in which he is being chased by a Slitheen (Aliens of London/World War III) on a rocking horse. The sonic screwdriver can melt and reset tarmac. To his delight, the Doctor gets to drive a fire engine here for the first time. He often forgets birthdays and frequently loses socks.

Martha likes apples. She drinks tea and eats a raspberry doughnut in the MOTLO cafeteria. She eats a packet of sausage and marshmallow-flavour crisps in the cafeteria later. Martha was the only black female student in her class and has a crippling student loan. She can wire a plug and once repaired a toaster.

The I-Spyder Book of Earth Creatures lists every animal that has ever existed on Earth: points are awarded to the reader for every one they spot, and if a reader gains enough points and sends the book to the Big Chief I-Spyder, he or she gets a certificate. The Doctor gives Martha an electronic copy. The book erroneously lists Time Lords as an immigrant species due to frequent sighting of various incarnations of the Doctor. After visiting MOTLO, Martha gains nine million and one I-Spyder points and is awarded a certificate.

Kronkburgers are available on Reblais Beta. The inhabitants of the planet Kinjana have the same body-type as humans.

Links: Martha recalls meeting dinosaurs (Made of Steel). There are references to Kronkburgers (The Iron Legion, Boom Town, The Resurrection Casket), Sea Devils (The Sea Devils, Warriors of the Deep), Mondas (The Tenth Planet), Refusis II (The Ark), Varos (Vengeance on Varos), Raxacoricofallapatorius (Aliens of London/World War III), Tara (The Androids of Tara), Beaus and Celation (Mission to the Unknown, The Daleks' Master Plan), and the Isop Galaxy (The Web Planet). The Doctor again notes that sleep is for tortoises (The Talons of Weng-Chiang). In a nod to former companion Dodo, the Doctor names the dodo here Dorothea. He mentions Mickey.

Location: Mauritius, 1681; The Museum of the Lost Ones, on an unnamed planet, and Vietnam, Earth, 2062.

Future History: Gorillas are extinct by 2030, Aye-Ayes by 2042, rhinos by 2051, Chinese Three-Striped Box Turtles by 2062, and Kakapos by 2017.

Unrecorded Adventures: The Doctor and Martha recently visited Belepheron, where the air smells of bad eggs and boiled cabbages and the natives nearly ate them. The Doctor claims he was asked to join the Three Tenors.

The Bottom Line: Dull, preachy and with a ramshackle plot cribbed heavily from Ghost Light but much less well told. Jacqueline Rayner's dedication to animal rights propaganda again forces the reader out of the story whenever the voice of the author starts bellowing out of the page.

Discontinuity Guide by Paul Clarke


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