FOXBOROUGH, Mass. – Guys see Chuck Pagano coming, and they hug him. The Indianapolis Colts, I'm talking about. Big, strong football players hug their coach like they love him. Because they do.

Guys see Bill Belichick coming, and they look away. The New England Patriots, I'm talking about. Big, strong football players avoid eye contact with their coach like they fear him. Because they do.

It's coaching, not parenting, but it's two distinct philosophies, two styles, two schools of thought. It's nature vs. nurture, this clash of leadership styles embodied by the Patriots' Bill Belichick and the Colts' Chuck Pagano, whose teams meet Sunday in the AFC Championship Game. To Belichick, coaching is Darwinism: domination, submission, order. It's survival of the fittest. To Pagano, coaching is praying, laughing, loving. It's Dale Carnegie: how to win friends and influence people.

Each team's starting left tackle, picked within five spots of the first round of the 2011 NFL draft, was asked this week to describe his coach.

Anthony Castonzo, the No. 22 overall pick in 2011, on Pagano: "He cares about us. He's out there and he cares about winning and he cares about the guys."

Nate Solder, the No. 17 overall pick in 2011, on Belichick: "He's the only one I've ever played for. I don't think the NFL's been anything easy. No, everything is very difficult."

* * *

This is not a value judgment. Belichick isn't monstrous while Pagano is wonderful. Nor is Belichick strong, Pagano weak. They are who they are. They are different. They are very good at their jobs.

Belichick has won three Super Bowls. Pagano is one of just two coaches to win 11 games in each of his first three seasons. Which way works? Each way works.

Each way is so different though. In the Colts' locker room, they talk about Chuck. They call him Chuck. They know his cell number and they know his religion. They call him, they text him, they pray with him.

In the Patriots' locker room, they talk about coach Belichick. They call him coach Belichick. They don't know his cell number. They don't know if he's Catholic or protestant or something else, or nothing else.

Conversation this week with Patriots guard Dan Connolly, started by this question: Is Belichick all business, or is there another side that outsiders don't see?

"It's all business," Connolly said.

Ever small-talk with him?

"We pride ourselves in coming in here and getting to work," Connolly said. "That's what it's all about. That's the way he carries himself, and that's the way we like it."

What about faith? That's a big part of most locker rooms. It's big with the Colts and Pagano. Is it big here? What is Belichick, anyway? Is he Catholic?

"You know what? I don't have any idea. You'll have to talk to him about that," Connolly said. "We don't get into that. We're all football here."

Do you have his cell number?

"He's accessible."

Not what I asked. Do you have it?

"I know how to get ahold of him."

You don't have his cell number, do you?

"I'm sure somebody does."

* * *

Bill Belichick cut a player the night before Super Bowl XLVI. That was the most recent Super Bowl in Indianapolis, in February. He released receiver Tiquan Underwood because he wanted the roster spot for practice squad defensive end Alex Silvestro. The next night Silvestro played zero snaps. Belichick released Underwood less than 24 hours before the Super Bowl, and it was something he didn't have to do.

Chuck Pagano spoke with a player's little brother hours before a game. That was earlier this season. Colts cornerback Darius Butler's younger brother, Stormy, overcame a rare form of skin cancer to play collegiately at West Texas A&M. Pagano overcame leukemia in 2012. He met with Stormy before a Colts game.

"It was something he didn't have to do," Darius Butler says.

They are so different, Belichick and Pagano. They are so successful. They are the most extreme examples of the two coaching styles that work best in professional sports today, where elite players, even some of the average ones, make more money than the head coach. How to make a roster full of millionaires compete like it's college? There are two ways to do it:

Make them love you.

Make them fear you.

Quote this week from Colts defensive end Cory Redding: "Why did I pick the Colts? Because Chuck (is) here."

Quote this week from Patriots receiver Danny Amendola: "We have to pay a price to play for him."

That price includes pop quizzes and peer pressure. On Wednesdays, Belichick picks out a player and asks about one particular facet of his assignment for the week. Then he picks out another. And another. In front of the whole team.

"Heart's pounding," Patriots running back Shane Vereen says when his name is called. "Palms are sweating. For sure."

Not knowing enough is bad. Saying too much is worse. Say too much to the media, veterans in the locker room told me, and Belichick will mock that player in front of the team. It's an effective deterrent. The Patriots' locker room says nothing.

Conversation this week with Patriots cornerback Kyle Arrington, started by this question: Is Belichick all business, or is there another side that outsiders don't see?

"He's kind of all business," Arrington said.

Everyone has a soft side. Ever seen that side of Belichick?

Arrington looks at teammate Logan Ryan. He wants advice on how to answer the question. Ryan raises his eyebrows: You're on your own. Arrington sighs and gives in, gives the same truth as everyone else in the locker room.

"No. He's pretty much all business."

* * *

Pagano walks the halls at the Colts complex on 56th Street, and Montori Hughes hugs him. Hughes' 3-month-old daughter died suddenly in August. Pagano helped him through the pain, helps him to this day, with late-night phone calls and text messages. Hughes sees him? He hugs him.

Belichick walks the halls at the Patriots' practice complex Gillette Stadium, and receiver Julian Edelman looks straight ahead. He says he used to get anxiety, but "now I just kind of walk." He says if the silence is broken, it's broken by Belichick.

"Who's the opponent?" Belichick will ask. "What (are) his strengths?"

Quote this week from Colts linebacker D'Qwell Jackson: "He's about creating a family atmosphere. Every guy that I know who has played for Chuck … will run through a brick wall for him. We love him around here."

Quote this week from the Patriots' Edelman: "Whatever the coaches prepare for us the week, the material, whatever they have for us – it's not the funnest thing to do, but you know it's going to put you in the right position to succeed, so you do it. I'm not saying you always do it with a smile on your face, but you know that coach Belichick and the coaching staff, they've won Super Bowls."

This week Pagano casually mentioned "messing around in the quarterback room and I was hanging out with those guys." This week Pagano said his job is "all about relationships. The game is going to fade for all of us but the relationships will never."

This week Belichick casually compared football to war, vaguely compared himself to General Dwight D. Eisenhower, and made his intentions for Sunday known: "It's like going back to Dwight Eisenhower's quote, 'Preparation is everything until the battle starts, and then it doesn't mean anything.' Then you react to what happens in the game. In his case, what happens in the battle."

Conversation this week with Patriots guard Josh Kline, started by this question: Is Belichick all business, or is there another side that outsiders don't see?

"He'll tell a little joke sometimes."

Can you remember one he's told? Give me an example.

"Nothing really stands out."

Has he told a joke in the last, say, month?

"Probably not, no."

Find Star columnist Gregg Doyel on Twitter at @GreggDoyelStar or at

Download IndyStar Colts app, enter to win a Colts fan pack