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zona pellucida

Just finished the histology lab exam and I did reasonably well. As always when I am given a picture and asked to produce words, I blank out on one or two. This time I blanked out "zona pellucida" which I know well and have studied. I know the location and function and duration of it, but I still could not dredge the words out of my memory for the exam. The ZP forms around an oocyte in the ovary when it matures from a primary to secondary follicle, and serves later to prevent double fertilization. When the head of the sperm dumps its chemicles into an oocyte, the zona pellucida immediately changes to prevent any more sperm from getting in.... The rest of the words dredged up OK tho, so I'm sure I passed.

I am so tired. I ate a bunch of chocolate covered espresso beans just to perk myself up for the exam. My hand hurts--an old injury that recently decided to start hurting again---my body hurts---pms and whatnot----it's hard to think straight at all. But I have completed my three exams for today so thank goodness. I still have to stay late at the school for my workstudy job, being a security guard by the only unlocked door after hours. I hope I have it in me to study some. I need to keep studying. I have exams every day next week and a paper due on Friday. But even tho I must work tonight I can say it now: TGIF. I need a weekend.

My plans for the holidays are still up in the air. My kitten and Suzanne's pug are the complication. We are both so new in town that we don't have friends/family that we can count on to care for our critters. But traveling with them is out of the question. And plane tickets are so expensive. They're more expensive if you go for a shorter time, or closer to the holidays. I want to see my family but I don't want to spend so much money on travel. It's frustrating.

I'm really scared about the amount of debt I'm taking on for this education. The plane ticket question is just a drop in the bucket. The $1200 that I am about to spend on medical equipment is another drop. Tuition is over $20,000/quarter. I was talking with S about it last night and reassured myself once again that it doesn't matter. Our economy can tank in the meantime and I can have this unpayably huge debt and I will still manage to live a good live. There must be a way. At least today I can enjoy all that I have.

I am grateful for:
shelter from the rain
plenty of food
hot tea
hot showers
someone close to me
the luxury to contemplate flying cross country to see my family




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April 2019


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