When Noa’s OTD Son Even Says “No” to Bar Mitzvah (3-Minute Moving Video)


I wrote a few weeks about Noa Yaron Dayan, a well-known rabbanit and writer, whose world came crashing down 2 years ago when her famous rabbi (now ex-) husband stopped being observant, and most of her 7 children followed his lead. In this video, we see how Noa faces a mind-boggling challenge–her off-the-derech almost 13-year-old son feels so distant from a Jewish way of life that he doesn’t even want to have a bar mitzvah. I have so much respect for Noa Yaron Dayan, but after watching how she handles this painful situation, I think that respect I feltfor her has been upgraded to awe.


  1. I m sorry chana jenny with all the love and admiration and gratitude i owe you you should continue to show us people like nechamelle or your owm thoughts which are always emet and honest. Those people are only earning money by showing off on tv … their son doesnt need bar mitzva he needs parents at home, no cameras and show off. This is pure lies and it goes against our precious Torah

  2. Nechama Koren

    I personally loved it. Even if it’s all a show, you can learn from what she says. Thank you for posting.

  3. The video didnt work for me. I would love to see it. As a mother to older children, we all have tests, some easier, some harder. just because she was on TV,(I have never seen her as I don’t have a TV) does not mean she is not going thru her own hardships.

  4. Tova Gita Sharon

    B”H THANK YOU CHANA JENNY! The Torah teaches us to always judge favorably! How can we know the emet or lack of it of someone else?! I can totally understand why you are so moved and inspired by Noa Daya… it shouldn’t concern us that they are chosing a way of social media etc., there are so so so many families with children that have gone “off the derech”, and this woman and what she is doing here will bring tears of empathy and hope to many mothers who are in likewise situations. WHatever may or not be the motives, any mother who has been where she is, will KNOW her tears and pain are absolutely real.

    • Sorry but the majority of women who are in the same situation dont have/watch tv so this show is made for other people. Noa is certainly a wonderful person but exhibiting her kids and her personal life on tv is not moral. Poor kids

      • I live in America and the only way I’ve even heard of this family is through Chana Jenny. All I can say is, whatever the reason is that they’re sharing their private life with the world, I can say it had given me hope and inspiration. I am going through a similar situation – my husband was a “flaming baal t’shuva” when we got married, and now 10 years later we’re separated (working out the technicalities of the divorce) and he’s completely irreligious. My almost 10-year-old b’chor does not want to do anything that has to do with religion, and has scoffed at the idea of having a bar-mitzvah. I am trying to have complete love and acceptance of my kids no matter what, and seeing this video has really strengthened that.

  5. so powerful and moving. I had not realized that they had done this and publicized it. I feel her pain. she stays positive and loving and the father is even respectful of what should be at least on that occasion. thank you for sharing. Is this part of a TV seriies?

  6. Why is this even being recorded? It is so pritzusdik.

  7. Why do we have to put people into little boxes, sealed and labelled? Each Jew’s relationship with Hashem Yisborach is unique and personal, and Hashem Yisborach’s love for each Jew is unconditional and indestructible. Who is qualified to judge a Jew to be “off the derech” or irreligious, especially as much of the time those conclusions are a result of assumptions, circumstantial evidence, and outer appearances.
    Only Hashem Yisborach knows what is in a person’s mind and heart. Only He knows the effort put in by that individual to do a mitzvah or to refrain from a transgression. Only Hashem knows the person’s history, including what happened in previous gilgulim.
    As the Navi Yishayahu declared: “Your People are ALL Tzaddikim” (Isa.60:21)

    Mina Esther Gordon.

    • mina, you are so right.
      I am wondering what would be a better way to describe the situation presented in this video, if we shouldn’t title it “frum mother and otd son.”

  8. I did not watch the video, and I am not judging anyone. But I want to clarify that her ex-husband was not a (formal) rabbi and she did mention that they did many things in the past without the approval of a personal Rav, such as open an “open yeshiva” for nonfrum people and such as directing a tv show, which was also done without the approval of a personal Rav.
    A person can’t claim to live a charedi lifestyle while producing television shows and then continue sending their children to charedi schools which do not allow such things. Mixed messages greatly impact the children. So it is not shocking that these children are OTD. But it is heartbreaking.

  9. Appalling to put kids on show. They allready have a destroyed family isnt it enough? Who cares of religion in those situations? Do we call her religious because she has a huge scarf on her head? My parents and g parents had no scarves but they would have never sell their children to the tv public. This is certainly not jewish and religious!

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