Body language for dummies

Try flirting without using body language. Go on, give it a go. Surprise, surprise! It can't be done. You simply can't convey romantic interest without the body getting into the act. To play a really successful game of flirtation your body must speak what your mouth mustn't say.<br /><br />Try these tips from <em>Body Language for Dummies</em> by Elizabeth Kuhnke, £15.99 and let your body do the talking...<br /><br />
Use your body

Try these tips from Body Language for Dummies by Elizabeth Kuhnke, £15.99 and let your body do the talking...
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Attract their attention
Men stand taller, thrust up their chins, and expand their chests, making them look like the king of the jungle. Women tilt their heads, flick their hair and expose their wrists and necks, demonstrating vulnerability and submissiveness. Your eyes dilate if you find another person attractive. And you can do nothing to stop it. If things go to plan, the recipient of your gaze unconsciously responds in a similar way and the excitement begins.
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Eye contact
The woman looks across a crowded room. She spots a man she finds attractive. She waits for him to notice her. She focuses her eyes on his for three-five seconds and then looks away. He watches to see what she does next. She looks at him again, and at least one more time. When a man sees a woman who catches his eye he glances at her body first. After he makes eye contact with her he slightly narrows his eyes and holds the gaze somewhat longer than he normally would, indicating his interest.
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Flash a smile
The woman flashes a fleeting smile or two. This is a hint of a smile with a promise of things to come rather than a toothy grin. It's important that the man responds to this signal or else the woman will think that he's not interested and will move her sights. A man establishes eye contact with a woman and lifts his chin slightly as he smiles, inviting her to engage with him.
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The first move
The man walks over to the woman, making it look as though he's the initiator, and gives her a few chat-up lines. Having given him permission to approach by the signals she's sent through her body language, a woman then waits for the man to begin the conversation.
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Preening princess
The muscles of both men and women become slightly tensed. Her posture straightens, accentuating her physical attributes. If seated, she crosses her legs to show them off. If she's standing she shifts her hips and tilts her head to expose her neck. She plays with her hair, runs her tongue over her lips, and adjusts her clothes and jewellery. A man may straighten his stance, pull in his stomach, push out his chest, adjust his clothes, and touch his hair.
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The power of touch
If a woman's still interested she'll seek an opportunity to lightly touch the man's arm accidentally on purpose, or with a genuine reason. If both people are happy with the touching process they'll increase the amount. An easy way to move to the touching stage is by shaking hands. Touching a person's hand is more intimate than touching an arm.
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Walking and wiggling
The way you walk reveals your interest. Both men and women take on youthful characteristics when seeking the other's attention. They create the impression that they have an unlimited source of energy by the way they vigorously bounce along. Unlimited energy can be very sexy because it indicates the promise of being a tireless mate. A woman rolls her hips and swings her arms further back, exposing her soft and supple flesh.
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Use your head
When a woman sees a man she finds attractive she unconsciously tosses her head or runs her fingers through her hair. Whether her hair is long or short the gesture is a subtle way of showing that she cares about her appearance and is making an effort to look appealing. An added benefit of this movement is that it exposes her soft underarm, a highly sensual part of a woman's body that most men find irresistible.
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Touching temptress
Women have much larger number of nerve sensors than men, making them more sensitive to touching sensations. Women leisurely stroke their necks, throats, and thighs signalling to a man that if he plays his cards right she just may let him caress her in a similar way. By touching herself a woman can fantasise about how it would feel if the man she fancies were the one doing the touching.
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Fondling flirt
If you find yourself fondling any object that remotely resembles a phallus, you are acting out what's going on inside your head. Don't be surprised if the man you're speaking with fondles a personal item of yours while you fiddle with your earring, pen or the stem of your glass. The stimulus is too much for him to resist and he has to respond in a similar way to show he's paying attention and wants to possess you.
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Lust-have legs
Men consistently rank the leg twine as the most appealing sitting position a woman can take. Women consciously use their gesture to draw attention to their legs. When one leg is pressed up against the other it gives the appearance of highly toned muscles, which is the position the body takes before engaging in sex. Women who want to entice a man and demonstrate their own interest slowly cross and uncross their legs and gently stroke their thighs as an indication of their desire to be caressed.
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Bag a bloke
A woman's bag is her personal domain. Even most married men live in terror of entering this most forbidden territory. Because a woman treats her handbag as if it were a personal extension of her body, it becomes a strong signal of sexual intimacy when she places her bag close to a man. If a woman finds a man attractive she may deliberately stroke and caress her bag in an inviting manner, tantalising and teasing her male admirer.
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Knees up
Watch the direction a woman's knee is points when she sits with one leg tucked under the other. If a man is at the end of the sight line you can bet she finds him interesting. From this relaxed position, she's able to flash a bit of thigh and gain her target's attention.
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Mirroring magic
The closer two people are emotionally the more similar their postures are. Certain postures and emotions are linked, so when two people adopt the same physical position they're probably experiencing similar feelings. Observe a couple who are in tune with one another and you can see that their movements are coordinated and their postures match.
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Read on
Extracts taken from Body Language for Dummies by Elizabeth Kuhnke, £15.99.

Available now from all good book shops and
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