The Honda Insight ES-T is so green it even gives your road skills an eco-score

When is an eco-friendly car not eco-friendly? When I drive it, apparently.

There I was, conscientiously cleaning the grime off my sparkling new Honda Insight hybrid, using more water and electricity than an African village probably uses in a year.

But what did you expect? I'm a Westerner. Our whole lives are what they call 'unsustainable', and it doesn't matter how many hybrids we buy. We'll go on killing the planet until someone makes us live on twigs and berries.

Honda Insight ES-T

The Honda Insight is one of a flood of mass-market hybrids about to hit the roads, so it's important that it looks desirable - and from the front, it does

It was a power-washer that made me realise how futile it all is. You might want to skip to the next paragraph if you're eating your breakfast... I'd popped into a service station on the M1 to relieve myself and was quite impressed to see the urinals were a special non-flushing kind, to save water and, by extension, polar bears.

I'm all for saving the bears and bees and the lesser-spotted Guatemalan honey frog. But what they hadn't foreseen was that other things might end up on the porcelain - like an entire Pot Noodle, deposited there by some student after a boozy binge, which had welded itself to the surface like concrete and was in the process of being jet-blasted off by a sad-eyed Albanian.

In ten seconds he wasted more water than the whole facilities would have used in a week, so completely defeating the object. I knew it, he knew it, but 'green' appearances have to be kept up.

Likewise, when you go to the supermarket these days they ask you if you need a bag, even if you've got an entire trolley full of stuff.

I've considered saying, 'No, I'll just pack it all in the back of my car like some giant bloody jigsaw puzzle, thanks.' 

The Honda Insight ES-T

The Honda Insight's sat-nav

But it's not the checkout girl's fault, is it? She's just going through the motions, same as the rest of us. We recycle, but the Government just piles it up in depots. Why? They're lazy. You and I are lazy. We all need a big 'nudge' in the right direction, like in the book that American economist wrote... which, come to think of it, was about urinals, too. I must get off this subject.

The point is, Honda has built a really clever 'nudge' into its new affordable hatchback that might finally, genuinely, get people driving in a planet-saving way. But I'll get to that later, as I didn't actually notice it at first.

The Insight is one of a flood of mass-market hybrids about to hit the roads, so it's important that it looks desirable - and from the front, it does. It's similar to the Civic: sporty, sharp and youthful with its blue-ish lights squinting aggressively.

The problem is that every inch you go towards the back adds two years to its age, ending in a rear view about as modern as a Morris Minor Traveller.

The Honda Insight ES-T

The colour-coded rev counter monitors driver's efficiency

Inside is much more like it, especially in this top-spec ES-T model. The dash is very plasticky (probably so they can turn it into carrier bags afterwards), but designed in a cool, Star Wars way.

The big digital speedo rises above the steering wheel, while the rev counter gives off a green glow if you're driving efficiently, or a blue glow if you're wasting energy. There's also a row of flowers on the LCD display, which flicker into life when you turn the engine on. Drive more greenly, and more appear.

It was two days before I noticed that this display can be switched to show you the lifetime 'eco score' of the car. There's a little tree you have to keep alive like a tamagotchi, and you get wreaths and trophy symbols if your performance is improving.

I was in the office when I read about this, so I ran down to the car to see how I'd done. Er, not well. I'd wilted every leaf on the tree, thereby killing six bears, four dolphins and an iguana. Mr Attenborough, I'm sorry.

But the point is, next time I got in the car I drove differently. I kept the rev counter glowing green and even pressed the little ECON switch, which changes gear more gradually, smoothes off your accelerator input, captures more energy from the brakes and subtly turns down the air con.

In fact, it turns it off if you come to a halt, along with the engine (Idle Stop Mode, they call it). In other words, it's really not me, so I gave up in the end.

Still, I can easily see my gran getting obsessed with her eco score. And 17-year-old learners. It's stupidly easy to understand and the better you do, the more money you save. I think it's a little stroke of genius.

Even so, for me driving's about having fun - and you know what? This wasn't bad at all.

Steering was light and responsive, the battery-assisted engine feels bigger than 1.3 litres and the centre of gravity's low, so it doesn't wobble in the corners.

I quickly found myself sliding round them in a four-wheel drift, keeping the revs high and treating it like the old Civic Type R boy racer.

The little flowers were not happy. I am a plant murderer - but that's OK; this car's not really aimed at me.

At two grand cheaper than a Prius it's not even really aimed at eco-nutters, just people who want to save money. You spend less on petrol, less on road tax and nothing on the congestion charge - saving buckets if you commute every day. I can understand anyone buying one of these.

But me? I'm tired of going through the planet-saving motions. I'm going to bed. Goodnight, and don't forget to turn off the lights, the TV, the dishwasher, oven, fridge, video and DVD. 

Honda Insight ES-T

The dashboard



Engine 1.3-litre 4-cylinder petrol/electric hybrid

Engine power 87bhp

Electric motor power 14bhp

Fuel economy 61.4mpg CO2 emissions 105g/km (tax band B)

Top speed 113mph

Transmission Continuously variable, front-wheel drive

Standard 16in alloys, ABS, EBD, Vehicle Stability Assist, cruise control, paddle shift gear selector, Ecological Drive Assist System, Eco Mode button, CD/radio/MP3 with USB port, voice recognition DVD sat-nav, power folding adjustable heated mirrors, front foglights, climate control, heated front seats, leather steering wheel and gear shift, auto lights and wipers

Optional Premium Pack (mudguards, side protection), Elite Pack (adds rear parking sensors), Elite Plus Pack (adds front parking sensors)


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