Awful Humans of…Dublin

We don’t do the important work, god’s work really, of Society Camp for the acclaim and the many, many dollars it brings costs us, we do it to make you all less insufferable. But goddamn it’s hard to watch this Humans of New York guy swimming in praise and more importantly, pools and pools of money, for doing nothing more than being really intrusive into people’s private lives and exhibiting basic photography skills. So we decided here at Society Camp that it was time to go on a road trip to serve as inspiration to see what awful things awful people around the awful globe are carrying out on a daily basis. In our first installment of our Awful Humans of… series, we will be talking about our important research in Dublin, where we witnessed some truly discouraging things about the state of humanity, and also, some pretty great things too, but let’s not dwell on the positives. Continue Reading→

Grocery Stores: Where produce and my soul go to die

I should start this little ditty by saying I fucking love going to the grocery store. I can easily spend hours, even days, wandering the aisles and gleefully spending my time squeezing all the French breads (soft interior, crispy on the out) and looking for exciting new condiments, which now make up roughly 80 percent of my fridge. The trick, however, is going late on a weeknight so you have the place completely to yourself, which allows you to avoid the wretched masses who turn the beautiful experience of grocery shopping into a living, fucking, nightmare. Continue Reading→

Your Ideas Stink, Stop Trying

Society Camp is a lonely place, and not lonely in the sense that there aren’t lots of people around, because there are, but more so, because all those people are awful and spending time with them makes you a worse person. So for the most part, as the Camp Director, I have a lot of time time to kill in-between administering reform punishments, and that mostly involves Netflix, alcohol, and a healthy amount of introspection. All that to say, I’ve been watching a shit-tonne of Shark Tank, where mostly fake millionaires, and Mark Cuban, make investments in ideas/entrepreneurs that probably never come to fruition once they’ve combed through the numbers and realize that all people trying to raise money are filthy liars. Continue Reading→

Gatorade – Not a water substitute

Many people throughout the world fight a daily struggle to obtain clean drinking water. It’s literally the most important liquid on earth, the life force for anything that requires oxygen to live (cue getting an email from some nerd letting me know about a dry land crab that only requires the sun to live). Where I live, we are fortunate enough to have fucking taps that spit out the most delicious drinking water you could imagine. Especially now, as winter approaches, the pipes are cold and that water comes out like chilled spring water direct form a glacier. So you can imagine my horror at the resurgence of Gatorade as many people’s go-to hydration tool when not actually doing any physical activity. Don’t even get me started on their “Is it in you?” slogan. It just makes them sound like some dude with a micro penis and low self-esteem. Continue Reading→

Annoying Sippers – Grandiose ahhhhs for no reason

It’s disgusting enough to have to watch people shovel food into their filthy mouths with the gumption of Joey Chestnut, without having to be further annoyed by the manner in which they decide to consume their beverage.

Drinking, along with breathing and I don’t know, eye opening, is the first thing we learn to do as humans. It’s the one means we have of survival when we are stupid babies whose biggest accomplishments revolve around producing solidly formed poos (it usually just looks like broccoli soup, but be warned, it doesn’t taste like it). So you’d think that when it comes to putting a liquid down your throat, you should have the whole operation down to a fine science come adulthood. Continue Reading→