Miss Snark, snared!

John writes in the comments column:

From what I can determine, timothy; or, Notes of an Abject Reptile isn't out until January 2007, which for me raises possible questions of conflict of interest here.

Why is Miss Snark involved pre-release? Is this a book she's agenting, or a colleague is agenting? Is there some other connection? If so, it's in her interest to hype the book, as she or a crony will get a piece of the action. 15% is more than you get as an Amazon affiliate.

Would Miss Snark be willing to say she has no business reason to plug this book?

Oh darn, you caught me.
It must be true, how could it be otherwise?
I only give heartfelt recommendations to books in which I have a vested financial interest.
Of course, that also reveals the terrible secret that Miss Snark is actually a dragoon of agents:

Timothy; or, Notes of An Abject Reptile is represented by Flip Brophy of Sterling Lord

Portraits, by Michael Kimmelman, is represented by ICM

The Creative Habit, by Twyla Tharp, is represented by Mark Reiter

The Intuitionist, by Colson Whitehead, is represented by Nicole Aragi

Motherless Brooklyn, by Jon Letham, is represented by the Richard Parks Agency

Winter's Bone, by Daniel Woodrell, is represented by Ellen Levine

You weren't sidetracked by my careful red herring of (Knopf:2006) after the author's name.

You've cleverly seen through the words "read the book", knowing since I didn't use the word "buy" --and I never ever in a million years say you should get things from the library, certainly not The Mercantile, or any library whatsoever -- I want you to rush right down to the bookstore and BUY this so I can snare you in my evil plot to become rich and famous.

Yes, you've nailed the ever-mercantile Miss Snark with your careful research, and clear thinking. You've made the world a safer place for book recommendations.

Miss Snark hangs her head in shame. That muted snortle you hear is absolutely not the sound of laughter. No no no.


Dave Kuzminski said...

By dog, Miss Snark, how could you? Now I must change your rating at P&E (in the Related section)... to mention that writers should have spare keyboards on hand if they don't know how to properly clean them.

Let this be a warning to you. Don't let this happen again... at least not before I change to my alternate keyboard and get the other one cleaned. ;)

Elektra said...

Wow---righteous anger and wit should always be combined so well.

emeraldcite said...

I'm reminded of A Beautiful Mind. Things are lighting up and I'm seeing the pattern.

I'm well on my way to decloaking your nefarious plans, Miss Snark.


Phyllis S said...

Huh. I guess the copy of Timothy that I'm currently reading is just a figment of my imagination. I must say it's a damn good figment, though.

delilah said...

Ahah! Now it all makes sense: I knew you were too clever to be just one person.


dink said...

Whoo doggie!

I saw this one coming--knew there'd be a show down. Heard the spurs jingling and took cover so as not to be spattered with John when he was drilled through the heart with the clue gun.

But wait …looks like John turned tail. Click on his name and you find Long Gone John…hid out I s’pect.

overdog said...

You go, Miss Snark.

While daubing coffee from one dainty nostril, I began to read the comments. I blame delilah for the daubing I must now do to the other side of my face.

Seriously, this pleads my case for *research* (like I'm always sayin'). Either that or anonymity, which I'm going to maintain until I'm certain I know absolutely everything.

WitLiz Today said...

John,John,John,John,John,John...Oh John..what were you thinking John?

Here are a couple of rules of thumb that I learned along time ago John.

1. NEVER and I mean never ever make a comment you can't back up with 60 thousand dictionaries, and 4000 Internet sites.

2. Never carry a pitard around. You might get hoisted.

BTW, Miss Snark does not reside on the Goodship Lollipop. I happen to know that as a fact.

Epigraph for the day:

I feel for you friend/Don't do this again.

WitLiz Yada

M. G. Tarquini said...

A dragoon of agents?

*rips of current spreadsheet project which proves, beyond a doubt, that Miss Snark is the entire Armed Services Committee*

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Well, I'm confused. The point was what? IF Snarky were the agent, isn't this still her blog? And can't she post on it what she wants? So, even if all this were true, how would that be a conflict of interest?

I wonder if I couldn't guess your political persuasion ... bet I could! I won't though. Boy o Boy Hanna! And wouldn’t that get me in trouble!

I believe some of these posters have conspired to confuse Pixies. It's not nice to confuse a Pixie. We go into a snit if deeply confused, and it gets worse if we think you did it on purpose.

Pixie snits are simply awful. Avoid them.

This Humanist, whom no belief constrained,
Grew so broad-minded he was scatter-brained. -- J. V. Cunningham

Anonymous said...

Tough to resist occasionally hoisting the anonymous, virtual jolly roger, inn'it?


Simon Haynes said...

Miss Snark is far too canny to be caught peddling her own authors' works.
No, to catch a Snark you have to take the first letter of each of her sentences from alternate posts, reverse them, translate Spanish and then map the letters to numbers to find the Amazon ASIN codes of all the books she represents. Paste it into an Amazon URL and ... tadaa!
(Stolen from the 'How to keep inquisitive people busy' handbook, ASIN DFffdfSqrrfff.)

Anonymous said...

Good one, Miss Snark. A well deserved smack upside the head for him, and a roll on the floor for me.

I'll start suing about this beverage alert business soon!

HiltonRC said...

Way to flush that john. Do nitwits float?

randomsome1 said...

Ah, so the intelligence and wit you frequently demonstrate are just pretense, or you truly intended to uncover yourself and your many aliases with one ill-placed book rec. For shame!

Thankfully, I am much too protective of my glass of wine to snort it onto my keyboard.

Kiskadee said...


Exactly. Look at Kristin Nelson's, Deidre Knight's and other agents' blogs - they do peddle their clents' books, and why shouldn't they? Lucky clients!

Bernita said...

Is there such a thing as a "dork-nit?"

Kim said...

OK - Never mind the fact that there is absolutely no beverage warning (I smell a lawsuit here)... and between the snortles and the snorks I am once again scrubbing coffee off my laptop's screen (and believe me, that is NOT where the caffeine is most needed)I just wanted to say thank you - between the nitwit and the comments, what a great way to kick off a Monday morning! :)

Carrie said...

Read this just as Amazon was chiming in to confirm delivery of my virtual copy of Timothy.

Yes, a perfect Monday morning it does make.

Bugwit Homilies said...

You mean, snif!, that Miss Snark hasn't been giving all this advice just out of the kindess of her heart? Snif! *wipes eyes*

So That's why she shamlessly advertizes her agency on this supposedly anonymous blog!

I suppose you're going to tell me that Santa Clause owns KB Toys and the tooth fairy sells baby teeth for chiclets in Battery Park? Well, I for one, don't want to hear it! Let me live in my fantasy world!

Anonymous said...

I agree with sha'el... Hasn't Miss Snark been preaching that agents represent what they like ergo they would recommend said writers and works even if, perchance, they no longer represented them? Or never represented them to begin with, but merely watched them grow?
Surely you must not think that an agent never reads a book, or hears about an associate's new project/client only to recognize the work from a query they too recieved?

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Dear Bernita,

There is one now. I've entered it into my budding List of Pixie Words Derived from Other Languaged.

I've defined it as "an incredibly silly man. One who finds conflict where none exists. One who foolishly criticizes his intellectual betters. A budding politician."

Anonymous said...


This dope didn't determine too hard. Hardcover of Klinkenborg's book came out in Feb. of *2006*. But I did read a review of it in the NYTimes around then. They must have a conflict of interest, too.

Dave said...

Speaking of the GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP -
It is real and part of the Gateway Clipper Fleet in Pittsburgh.