Our High Sheriff of cognitive dissonance



It feels good doesn't it?
It feels good doesn’t it?








John Tanton
Founder of










English-only ordinance wharblgarbl

Obviously we have already made clear what our perspective is on the repeal of the English only ordinance. In a nutshell, it’s discriminatory. As such, it reflects poorly upon our community. Being a screaming baby is not actually an asset in most circumstances, and it is certainly bad public policy.

Kudos to local blowhard Charles Jenkins for making it crystal barking clear what the problem is with this nonsense. Language barriers have nothing to do with immigration status; one of the biggest reasons to have a problem with English-only ordinances is that they marginalize other taxpayers whose language fluency may not yet be excellent. This is ridonkulous. He is so busy stereotyping people and making insults (Q: what does “nanny state” have to do with this? A: absolutely nothing, but why waste a talking point, amirite?)  that he has lost sight of making a lucid argument, if there were one.

Seriously, what did we read in the FNP today?
Seriously, what did we read in the FNP today?

Being American might mean things are easier if you learn English, but in point of fact the following quote from his column rant is false.

To become American means you adopt our culture, obey our laws, learn some of our history and learn to read and write English.

We do not have a national language. Which means maybe it’s going to be Spanish one day that you have to learn, Charles Jenkins. Language evolves. Instead of “What dost thou propose, ye churlish, white-livered villiago?” nowadays we’re all just like, “WTF?” Maybe (gasp) the language most popularly spoken will change, too. Is that what this is really about? Probably. Oh so scary. What if people who have always been here have to adapt (and they will, because you know how you make money? hint: catering to customers–your Texas raised correspondent can totes see into the future here, promise ya). You know where they are abierto for more people’s business, and a broader tax base? You’ll never guess: Montgomery County. They have a simple “Translate our Website” page with links to online translators. It’s so fancy and expensive, fredericklocalyokel could do it.

Don’t worry, the young ones will figure this out and proceed like, oh, say Canada and Switzerland manage. Some of the stubborn old folks won’t adapt, but we’ve all been around long enough that we all know what your position is on change is anyway.