So you want to know how someone gets turned into a Vampire…

My readers frequently ask me how one gets turned into a Vampire. If it was that easy we’d all be Vampires. But it isn’t easy. And the answer is always no. Always no. Always. And if we were all Vampires we’d starve to death.

By the way, the most common search terms that lead people to this blog are about converting into a Vampire.

Converting anyone into anything, be it a paranormal being (I hate that term but people understand the jest of it), or a religion, or a political party or whatever is sometimes a bit unsavory. The only conversion I ever want to think of is my conversion oven.

So, how about those Vampires?

I was born into this. My husband was converted against his will. My friend Cody was converted in order to save his life. My sister-in-law Verity wanted it and asked for it, as did so many of my friends.

No, I don’t have anything to say about that. It is what it is.

Only about 10% of people who go through a Vampire conversion survive in tact, that is with their soul. By that I mean they are still there. They aren’t just a body that feeds on blood and feels more or less nothing. A husk. A shell. About 5% end up as soulless husks. You don’t want to take that chance. The rest are gone. Dead. Really dead. Eight feet under dead.

Within the Vampire population we have many different cultures. Alright, maybe half a dozen, but that is a lot for our small population. Due to the fact that we are around for such a long time the cultures vary depending on who wants to stay stagnant in a past century (more or less.) Yes, that sounds like some regular humans who want to stay stuck in the past (hooray for the Black Death, bigotry, and intolerance.)

Like many we (Vampires) are private. I believe a lot things that are flapped out in public like so many ugly garish flags should be private. Even some of the beautiful things should be kept private.

With a culture that cares what some asshole with 19 kids is doing, or how big Kim’s ass is, or anything about Miley’s tits or tongue are doing… I just wish they’d all go away or just shut the fuck up. What I’m trying to say is that we need more privacy and mystery – in our personal lives. With everything out in the open everything just explodes into misinformation about how things should be – especially when it comes to our young people.

Conspiracy theories and hoax mongers multiply and thrive. Truth and reason play a close second. Attention whores get media coverage in the name of religion and politics. They are dangerous. They are evil. They will undermine civilization faster than any Zombie attack.

Vampires are not the evil ones. Do not question my soul. I might take blood, but I will never drain you dry or replace your blood with poison.

But back to conversion. No. If you have to ask it isn’t going to happen – at least not to you.



~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman