

A user’s guide to grocery shopping.


I have worked part-time at the East Greenbush Price Chopper as a cashier since the summer of 2011. It’s not exactly the best job ever, but there are far worse places I could be earning money. Overall, it’s not a horrible experience. Anywhere from 80 to 90% of customers are pleasant, competent, and polite people who help me help them exit with their groceries as quickly and pain free as possible.

However, there are also people who are bad at grocery shopping. They make the relatively simple process a daunting Tolkien level affair filled with pain, sorrow, and tragedy. They make my life difficult, their life difficult, and, more importantly, the lives of other shoppers difficult.

I am paid to deal with whatever strife is thrown at me. The other customers are not. These people deserve to cash out and leave, but the behaviors of others can crush that dream into a pile of infuriating pieces.

In order to make everyone’s grocery adventure as smooth as possible, I have devised this list of golden rules that will make everyone’s lives Les Miserables. This is from the perspective of both a shopper and a front end cashier. If you do one or more of these things, I would strongly advise some behavior changes. Otherwise, grocery delivery is always a fantastic option.

1. 20 items or less means 20 items or less.

I can almost guarantee that every grocery store in America has some sort of express line. It’s for the customers who have a small amount of items that want to get in and out. Every store is different for the amount of items that qualify people for the express lane, but Price Chopper’s is 20. As you go to cash out, if there is one iota of a doubt that you have less than 20 items, take the time and literally count them. If there are 21, move to a regular register. Simple.

I understand if you have a small order and grab an extra pack of gum or something. I’m not going to turn someone away from an express lane for 23 small cans of cat food. But, I have people with carts bursting at the seams who try to meander their way through express. Then, they get irate when I turn them down; one man accused me of “not wanting to work” when his cart was overflowing. The express lane is for small orders. People shouldn’t selfishly disrupt a system because they’re impatient.

2. Please, oh please, don’t procrastinate at the belt.

When I say “the belt”, I am referring to that whimsical device that moves groceries to my hands, through a scanner, and into a bag. When one arrives at the belt, there should be a very specific sequence of events that occur. First, remove the items from the cart and line them up on the belt as tightly and neatly as possible. Waste no room, because the person up next wants to do the same.

Next, when all items are placed and about to be, or are already, being processed by the cashier, have your payment method and coupons out and ready. The coupons, especially, add minutes to checkout time if not given to the cashier early. Preferably, have them ready before you’re even in line.

The key here is doing all of this ASAP. When people are on their phone or staring off into space when they could be taking some simple time-saving measures, it shows lack of consideration for the people behind them. The flabbergasted dismay when people shuffle for their missing coupons or exact change can easily be avoided by taking a few preventative measures.

3. If possible, bag your own groceries.

I understand that elderly people, people in wheelchairs, people with injuries, etc. can’t bag their own stuff. I also realize it is part of my job description to bag. However, 75% of the time a cashier is without a bagger (this is not our fault. If it bothers you, complain to Price Chopper management).

I don’t see any logical reason why a healthy able bodied person can’t bag their own food once they’re done loading it on the belt. If there are two people, one person could load the groceries while the other bags them. It is very efficient and gets everyone through the line much faster.

As the cashier, I have to swipe items through, punch in codes for produce, take your Advantage Card, potentially call in a manager for issues, worry about how much money is in the drawer, replace receipt tape… I could go on. Cashiers are multitasking masters. However, having to bag and work the register is like driving while applying makeup. We can do it, but it’s not efficient and we’re more likely to make a mistake.

4. Cashiers are people too.

Speaking of mistakes, I would like to inform Price Chopper customers that I am human. As such, I tend to make mistakes sometimes. The people at the registers are not computers that you can yell at when they don’t perform tasks perfectly. We are living, breathing people with hearts, souls, and emotions. We miscount, we forget coupons, and we drop stuff. It happens.

Please, do not get snooty and snippy because we shorted you 42 cents. Just point out the problem, and we will apologize and immediately sort it out. I promise, we’re trying to help you. Don’t bite the hand that (indirectly) feeds you.

This is how it's done.

5. Keep your kids under control

I’m going to keep this one short, because people will get really angry with me if I go into detail. Also, it mostly goes without saying. Everyone knows exactly what I’m talking about. When you enter the store, keep them safe and prevent them from disrupting others’ shopping experience to the best of your ability. That’s all anyone can ask.

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Like I said, most people don’t do these things. However, the few that do disrupt the entire flow of the supermarket ecosystem. I doubt these people are lazy or inconsiderate for the most part. They probably don’t realize that they’re doing it. If I corrected but one person, I have done a public service.

Did I forget something? Leave a comment about your grocery store pet peeves!

Zack Kilmer, College at Brockport