Monday, February 28, 2011

Maid A Mess - Part 4

You can only imagine what was going through my head when my husband told me he was chasing Kimmy down in the car. Namely that I was missing all the excitement. What could have happened, I wondered.

This is what went down, as told to me by my husband.

When he went back to my parents' house to get the baby medicine, Kimmy was still there. When he came in she jumped up and started fluffing pillows and acting like she was doing something other than sitting in my parents' house alone while they were on vacation. He asked her why she was still there and she said she was waiting for Paul, her husband to pick her up.

Something just wasn't right.

Husband went back and sat in the driveway in his car to keep an eye on her and Paul never showed up. While husband sat there, he noticed a silver car, not Paul's Scion, driving very slowly up and down the street and he felt even more uneasy. He said he felt like the car was casing out the house, so he continued to sit there.

A little later Kimmy came outside with a large overnight bag that he hadn't noticed before. She saw him in his car and panicked. He rolled down the window and asked Kimmy where Paul was.

"He's picking me up at the 7-11."

The 7-11 is like a mile away and Paul wouldn't make her walk down there. It was an idiotic answer, so Husband called her bluff.

"Ok, I'll drive you. It's not safe to walk at night and I'm going in that direction anyhow."

"No no no. It's ok. I'll walk! Really!"

And Kimmy tried to high-tail it out of there, practically running down the street.

Husband waited about five minutes and decided to drive off in the direction of 7-11 to see if Kimmy was really headed in that direction, but instead he saw Kimmy in the driveway of a darkened house a couple doors down, hastily getting in the silver car that was not Paul's. As the car sped off, Husband followed it, taking down the license plate. 

The silver car noticed Husband following them and tried to get loose him. Meanwhile, Husband decided to call Paul. He had his number because we had hired Paul to do some electrical work.

"Paul," Husband asked, "Are you supposed to be picking up Kimmy at the 7-11?"

"Uh, no," he replied.

"Do you know where Kimmy is?"

"She said she was babysitting for you guys all night and was sleeping over there at your in-laws."

"Well that's not true and I just saw her get into a silver car and drive off towards the Southwest. I got the license plate number if you want it."

"Umm, no."

And Paul hung up.

About that time, Kimmy, who must have been totally freaking out, called Husband. She didn't make a lot of sense, but she said she was having personal problems and Husband said he didn't care about her personal life. He just wanted to know what the hell was going on and why was she lying and sneaking around and using my parents' house to do whatever she was doing. She hung up.

The rest of the night Husband spent changing all the alarm codes and locks on the house. He called my parents who had him make sure all their valuable jewelry and electronics were in tact. They were.

The next day we tried calling Paul, but there was no answer and he never called back. Kimmy also never returned any calls. We have no idea what happened.

I tried to do some detective work and found Kimmy's facebook profile and it certainly painted a different portrait of her than what we thought. She had no privacy settings at all, so we could see all of her pictures and let me tell you - they were pretty shocking. It appeared that Kimmy was a very naughty girl.

My parents talked to the Eyebrow People and it turns out Kimmy had revealed much more of her real personality to them than to us. Why I don't know, but obviously Kimmy wasn't the brightest. You'd think she would have known that they would tell us. Kimmy apparently was a mail-order bride and she was into kinky sex, as was evidenced by her facebook pictures. She liked to do drugs, smoked pot every day and went out partying after work. She and Paul, she told them, would go to strip clubs, pick up strippers and have threesomes. I began to suspect that Kimmy herself was dancing as well.

We haven't heard from Kimmy or Paul since. We really have no idea what was going on, only that Kimmy was a liar. She was nothing like the wholesome innocent she tried to portray. So why would she lie? Working at my parents' house, you'd think she would have figured out that no one would have cared about her personal life if only she did her work responsibly and didn't steal. We don't know what she was up to that night. Was it a robbery attempt gone awry? Was she simply cheating on her husband and got caught? Could it have been both or could Paul have been in on it? The Eyebrow People said some things about Kimmy that made us even suspect that Kimmy was a hooker and Paul was pimping her out. Were her text messages to a lover or to her johns? Maybe she was rendezvousing with a client in the silver car. This might explain Paul's seeming lack of emotion on the phone with my husband and could explain why he didn't want the license plate number, but maybe he was just in shock and was embarrassed.

There's no way to find out, as much as we'd love to know.

My mother said she's never letting someone from Craig's List in her house again and next time she's checking references. Its been almost a month now and we haven't hired anyone else. My mother's been cleaning herself and says the house has never been more spotless. She's decided that when she's ready she's just getting someone to come once a week and clean for a day. 

Kimmy was our fifteenth housekeeper. Maybe sixteen will be the magic number or maybe our family's just cursed when it comes to domestic help.

The End



JoeinVegas said...

Wow - you do have such interesting stories.

Anonymous said...

Just wondering if she knew your other relatives were upstairs, or if they knew she was in the house.


Kerry said...

I wonder sometimes about people.

Good luck on #16! I hope this one works out.

Handy Man, Crafty Woman said...

oh my...where do your parents get these people?! yeah, Craigslist for things like that isn't always the best idea. She has to check references! It's scary out there!

what was your husband's family like growing up? I've always wondered if it was hard for him to adjust to your family...

rosie-b said...

Great story, I am so glad there are such weirdos in your life. Makes me wish I had some.
Is the baby better now?

silver said...

I though it was odd when you wrote that Paul brought Kimmy from the Phillippines, but Paul's dad was married to her aunt. I was wondering how that happened. Guess a 2-for-1 bride deal?

Anonymous said...

what was in the duffle bag? was it her overnight bag, or do you think she was going to steal and fill the bag?

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