92- From Human Do-ing to Human Be-ing

Yes, that’s where I have been, in a time warp. I have lost track completely (almost) of days, hours, whether I blogged for the day or not. Life has been very different, very fulfilling, and soul-opening lately.

It’s amazing what we allow to happen in our lives when we don’t try and plan so much of it. We allow time to be close to others, time for conversation, cuddling, emotions, creativity, laughing, community.

Instead of scheduling exercise that may not serve our bodies and emotions well, at a time when our bodies don’t want it, we can allow ourselves to listen to what our bodies need. For me, it has partly been restorative movement, at a time of day when I need it most, for THAT day. The next day, we might need the same thing at a different time. Long gone are the days of twice-a-day workouts, and with them no more shame over not doing them on a schedule.

Instead of always eating on the run, wasting time and money on food that doesn’t nourish our cells and spirit, we can allow ourselves to take the time to make a nourishing, tasty, satisfying, complete meal, with time to eat it mindfully.

For 10 years while in college, I scheduled everything. Having school, work, a daughter, and a competitive triathlon addiction, I felt compelled to schedule my life two years in advance. Every moment was to be filled with achieving. One hour break between classes? I could fit in a 4mile run. Meditation? I couldn’t sit still for 5 minutes! Yoga? Only if it burned lots of calories. I preferred the Ashtanga or hot Vinyasa Flow classes. I was a Human Do-ing.

Every day, so full of the construct of my mind. Hindsight shines a big light on things. I was running away from my life, feeling out of control of a marriage that was spiraling downward, desperately trying to control what I felt was in my power.

It has taken much unforeseen change in my life, a receptive attitude, and the company of amazing people to allow me to be a Human Be-ing.

**Case in point: we just had an impromptu visitor, sat and ate and talked about life, philosophy, etc. How wonderful to be receptive to allowing that into my life, my conscience! How wonderful to share those moments, instead of being caught up in compulsions.

Perception is everything, and I am loving witnessing the unfurling of my authentic, intuitive perception.