Rapture Ready

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If the Word of God is true, Christianity is the only way to achieve eternal life.
—Rapture Ready. Keyword: If

Rapture Ready is a premillennialist Christian website dedicated to the End Times and the never-ending prediction that Jesus is going to take all True Christians up to heaven in 1/1/1933 1/2/19331/1/2000 1/1/2001 5/21/2011 10/21/2011 12/21/2012 4/23/2018 — well, Any Day Now. Or he had already taken them at one of those days and nobody made the cut. It contains many articles written by various Rapturites and is intended to serve as a warning to all non-Christians (and non-Rapture-believing Christians, and non-pre-tribulation-Rapture-believing Christians) about the imminence of the Rapture and of Jesus' return. Bizarrely for a Biblical literalist site, it seems to reject the usual canard of Young Earth creationism[1] in favor of a more accommodationist view of science and religion.[2]

Rapture Index[edit]

One of the most popular features of Rapture Ready is their "Rapture Index,"[3] a page that is described as a "Dow Jones" style average of end-times prophetic events, or a "speedometer" towards the Rapture. The page contains 45 different categories from which to gauge the amount of prophetic activity allegedly going on during the week. Categories include such incredibly vague terms as "11. Leadership," "15. Moral Standards," "22. Israel "35. Date Settings," "39. Civil Rights" and "43. Climate." A one-sentence explanation for each category is given, but rarely has anything to do with the "End Times". For example, the explanation for "15. Moral Standards" is "This is the fabric which holds our society together. When a state of disorder takes over, strong forces are needed to bring back control. Civil rights are often the first casualty of this action."

In the column next to each category, a seemingly random number is shown, with a vague blurb about why that number is there. For example, on 12/17/2009, the category "17. Crime Rate" was given a rating of 4. The explanation given was "Violent crime has dominated the news." One under "Occult;" in 2012 was slightly more specific; "There has been two major news events involving witchcraft and murder." But no link as to what those stories were. Because the page is not archived, there is no way to see a trend, rendering the numbering system all but meaningless, indicating that they probably just make it up when the admins remember to update the site. The page does, however, purport to give "highs" and "lows" for the past several years as well as all-time highs and lows. Naturally, all these values steadily increase, suggesting imminent rapture.


Rapture Ready features a long list of articles written by various contributors giving interesting insight into just what believers in the Rapture are like. Articles include:

  • The Anti-Christ vs. Pres. Barack Obama,[4] an interesting foray into the burning question of our era avoided by the mainstream liberal media: "Is Obama the AntiChrist" (link contains 13 reasons why Obama is not the Anti-Christ).
  • My God Won't Send Me To Hell.[5] Summary: you bet he will, heretic!
  • The Coming Slaughter of Christians.[6] An excerpt from an eBook, this "essay" describes the exchange of two "interpretations" of Bible verses where the author defends his position that Christians will soon be slaughtered during the Tribulation. Perhaps a great example of scare tactics to try to get people to jump on board the Rapture bandwagon.
  • Sucker's Bet.[7] This is a great example of the false dichotomy drawn by many Christians: "What have I got to lose? If you (other religion/atheist) are wrong, you burn in Hell for eternity. If I'm wrong, nothing happens." Basically, Pascal's Wager repackaged with extra smug.
  • Don't Drink the Kool-Aid.[8] This deliciously ironic article details how to avoid falling into such traps as "group mentality" by clinging to beliefs held only by fringe groups. Fantastic.
  • The Anti-Christ… Have You Seen This Man?[9] An interesting list of people who have been called the Anti-Christ by evangelicals. It includes gems such as Ronald Wilson Reagan (had 6 letters in each of his names), Bill Gates (because he's 'computer literate and financially well-off', apparently. Seriously.) Barney the Dinosaur (who the fuck knows). NOTE: The author here doesn't call these people the Anti-Christ, only lists them as examples of people evangelicals have been afraid of over the years.


For a more personal look at the beliefs of various Rapture-subscribing Christians, Rapture Ready has a messageboard.[10] The site serves as a reminder that there truly are people out there who actually believe Jesus is coming back soon, and live their lives accordingly. Their stance on politics runs roughly according to Conservapedia's, and they have an ungodly number of staunchly-enforced rules designed to keep out liberal influences anyone or anything that does not toe their theological and political lines exactly.[11]

Forum irony[edit]

In a grand case of pot-calling-the-kettle-black, RR-BB contains a whole forum dedicated to "Modern Cults & Religions," including "Mormonism, Jehovah's Witnesses, Islam, Catholicism, Judaism, Church of God, Bahai, Scientology, etc.…"

Wider usage[edit]

The phrase "rapture ready" has become slang for anyone who believes that the end is nigh.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]