Tuesday, May 08, 2018

In which the pond takes a break knowing it's left things in safe Caterist cash in the paw hands ...

Steady, Duke, steady, it's your sort that makes the pond think the lizards of Oz still don't have the first clue about social media …

Never mind, the pond is stepping out of the tent and heading off to experience what is quaintly known as a "medical procedure" and may be gone some time …

The pond dearly wanted to leave a post that stood for everything the reptiles represented, and "deluded media outlet struggles for relevance" is almost as good as "deluded Caterists blather on regardless of their precarious situation." Sssh, don't mention the court case …

Who better to guard the fort while the pond's away than the Caterists? Who else could provide the sort of rich text that will bring people back to read it over and over again, it being easier than poking an eye out or hitting head with hammer as a way to numb the pain of life?

The point of any Caterist outing is, of course, to enjoy the rich hypocrisy and humbug that goes with any preening, vain lecture about the failures of others … so here we go ...

Already the pond can sense that this one is building into an epic doozy of Caterist righteousness, with Gichuhi as the willing pawn …

That the Caterist had to head back to June last year to find the text for the sermon makes it all the more piquant.

Indeed, indeed, the pond was incredibly moved.

It's true that in Australia we much prefer to let people starve, either quickly, or perhaps more slowly or elegantly trying to survive on a Newstart allowance …

And Gichuhi's generous desire to return her handout to the government is an elegant lesson for us all …who would want to be a victim of government largesse?

Oh okay, it's a pond ritual. Please, Caterists, hold out your paw so that you might get an elegant sufficiency …

Naturally the pond was incredibly moved by the news that the MRC, no longer wanting to be a victim, intended to repay all its handouts to the government …

Apparently the Caterist went into the office just after penning his paean of praise to Gichuhi, and told the accountants that they'd have to return it all. The whole damn lot...

Please don't underestimate the size of the gesture - it's a considerable sum …

Perhaps the most moving part of the Caterist defence at Fairfax here, was this:

...Menzies executive director Nick Cater says the payments pale in comparison to the $30 million in public money given as an endowment to the "pro-tax" and "anti-business" Grattan Institute. 
"It is also peanuts compared to the millions of dollars of subsidies that go to anti-business groups like Greenpeace and the anti-coal zealots get because they have DGR (deductible gift recipient) status," he said.

Please join the Caterists in a rousing rendition of an old favourite …

Well there's a little Caterist waitin' at the department of finance shop 
He's been waitin' down there, waitin' half the day 
They never ever seem to have the time 
He gets pushed around, knocked to the ground 
He gets to his feet and he says 
"What about me, it isn't fair 
I've had enough, now I want my share 
Can't you see? I want to live! 
But those damned greenies take more than you give…" 

Now we're standin' on the corner of a world gone home 
Nobody's changed, nobody's been saved 
And the Caterists are feelin' cold and alone 
I guess they're lucky, they smirk smugly a lot 
But sometimes they wish for more than the diabolical greenies have got… 
"What about me, it isn't fair 
I've had enough now I want my share 
Can't you see? I want to live! 
But you just give more to the zealots than is fair ...
What about me?! I'm a zealot too …
It isn't fair! 
I've had enough now I want more than my fair share!
And no, you can't have it back
It's peanuts but they're my peanuts and I don't care ...
Giving handouts back is for dropkicks and losers …
And this beggar can be a chooser ...

An elegant tune, and so to the last gobbet wherein the Caterist can explain that fairness hasn't got anything to do with it, not when it comes to cash in the paw …

Please, department of finance, keep the Caterists in the style to which they're accustomed… the message is compelling.

You might think it kinder to take the Caterists off welfare, but the Caterists know the fair thing is to keep them on it ...

And so to a few cartoons which hopefully will serve as a distraction from the Caterist's plight …


  1. So this former "cowherd on the slopes of Mount Kenya" has nonetheless opened up a bank account - was that in Kenya or Australia ? - and somehow some "welfare money" found its way into that account. Like maybe Gichuhi or her husband had provided the account number to the welfare people perhaps ? And then finding some money in the account "terrified" her ? And did she or hubby actually return it all and somehow cancel their entitlement ? They brought enough money with them from Kenya to be able to establish themselves in Australia no matter how long it took without any need for "welfare" ?

    Is any of this believable ? To anybody other than a Cater, that is. And why no mention of "beautiful" Daisy Cousens for such a long time now, Nick ?

    Hope all goes well for your sojourn, DP. Hurry back please.

    1. Thanks for those pointers, Anony. However, none of it explained how she and/or hubby "found some welfare money" in their bank account. Unless the welfare people somehow work by clairvoyance and/or telepathy so that they 'sensed' that the Gichuhis were somehow entitled to some amount of "welfare" and also they managed to discover her/hubby's bank account number, then how did that happen without her/hubby having provided information to somebody in some government agency ?

      And if they did provide such information, how would it be "terrifying" to discover that said government agency had discharged its duty and sent them some money ?

      But then I expect that, being a Kenyan cattle herder, she did not, and still does not, understand that since she and hubby were working people paying tax, that the welfare money was basically a return of taxes already paid. A failure of understanding totally shared by Grandpa "Ned" Kelly and a whole herpetarium of reptiles.

      It may turn out to be more than the taxes they've actually paid, but that's not an issue because in due course, when their entitlement ends, and they're earning good salaries, they, in turn, will subsidise other deserving citizens - some of them maybe even from Kenya.

      The reason governments collect income - mainly via taxation - is solely to provide services to the citizens. In short, it's a kind of EITC (as per the USA) but somewhat more generous. What on earth did she (or "Ned") expect the government to do with the income (taxes) collected ? Save it for a rainy day ?

  2. By not watching ABC last night my blood pressure did not go up to high having to deal with the speaking in tongues lecture on ABC.

    1. I'm the same but I couldn't avoid a couple of items this morning


      Now I wonder how much business the existing chaplains are doing? I suspect, not much. My kids wouldn't have consulted a chaplain in two lifetimes and don't think they are unusual in that. When essential services are cut why would you fund a service like this?

    2. Maybe, Bef, because you're a bunch of religious nutters carrying on the John Winston Howard traditions ?

    3. Yeah - its more a rhetorical question. I know Morrison is a happy clapper & the hard right are still being dragged out of the dark ages, but it must really must be a vote loser. I guess it's a case of virtue signalling (did I just say that?) -standing up for your tribe even if you lose something in the process.

    4. Bef, I see the funding as an extension of social services. I have in my extended family a school chaplain. He is a man who has struggled over his entire life to find something (anything) and has moved from mainstream religions and politics to the fringes of both.
      GB is correct, a religious nutter, homophobic, racist, Islamophobic, and somewhat to the right of JWH. I often wonder how he manages to counsel those young troubled youths at his regional school.

    5. Yep, I think that pretty much covers it.

  3. I wonder if "Cater" is some sort of corruption of "Grifter" - would make sense.

    You know your case is very weak or the intended recipient is very dumb when you resort to these little parables - "goatherd makes good due to the vagaries of the Australian electoral system". A sort of rebadging of the "American Dream" narrative. You just need to point at one example, factual or not, and the poor are supposed to knuckle down and accept their lot.

    Off topic again. A few more nails going into the coffin lid


