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  1. Opportunity to cross paths to meet with Livia Kohn

    I haven't seen her speaking Chinese and the few youtube videos I found, she spoke English in her presentation for a Chinese Audience. I have found that many sinologists including Chinese linguistics experts from renown universities, giving lectures in English rather than in mandarin Chinese. Schipper and very few others being the exception.
  2. Opportunity to cross paths to meet with Livia Kohn

    Does she speak Mandarin Chinese or write Chinese to be such an expert?
  3. ADD or ADHD

    You nail it very well and I sincerely appreciate your input. It is very helpful. I had a previous experience dealing with a person with other issues and I learned the hard way when I didn't know anything about it. Today, I am better prepared and I am aware it is a learning process. You are very right about the growing experience and I will add the relationship is important. The situation is extremely difficult but all I see are solutions to search and then move forward, learn each other to talk about stuff instead of arguing or know who's right or wrong. I have the impression I have more life experience and I am here to guide her when is necessary. Thanks a bunch for your advice.
  4. ADD or ADHD

    I think in general those are observations can apply but each case is different. There are cases where one lead and the other follow because many reasons. If I am good at computers and my companion has little experience then if she wants she will follow my instructions. I think this also applies to real life in a relationship. It is totally true that knowing the other person is essential and necessary, this is not about changing the other person. Specially with a person who is diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and in the real world this person functions well in some ways but in special situations she can freak out or everything becomes overwhelming. In this type of relationship, I see the example of a blind and non blind person, both help each other to keep moving forward.
  5. ADD or ADHD

    Why does it need to be required?
  6. ADD or ADHD

    There is the preference and how to like enjoying good times with good genetics. The attraction is a weird component and letting my emotions get involved is far dangerous and that's why we get in trouble constantly.
  7. ADD or ADHD

    The example I gave was a blind man in a place there blind man is not familiar. I am not saying I want to do or don't want to do, if the other person, in this case a lady, wants direction from someone she trusts and she's willing to make an effort in following directions, I would do what I can and find a support system. I am finding out that many professionals, as much as they have some experience, the majority I have seen don't know what's to experience dealing with someone's emotions or even desires. Resentment is common and as far as I am learning as long as I don't get my emotions involved, acting without attachments, I see that setting rules it is important, not my own rules that work for me, but the rules works best for her or try to see what works better for her. Thanks for your input, I always appreciate your kind advice.
  8. ADD or ADHD

    Entirely right, just like someone wants love from another individual or wants to please his/her partner. I don't understand why everything has to be in one box and nothing else. Indeed, there are relationships as Daddy and little girl and we cannot generalize even those terms, different people with different likes or choices.
  9. ADD or ADHD

    excellent observation. It is a million dollar question and I have some answer to that. I have noticed that type of women, the attraction is beyond the mental issues, it is more compatibility, great fun and much more understanding than the regular women I have seen in the past. I guess every case is different and it is interesting to listen others with their opinions. Also, in this particular case, it is important to learn to act without attachment (wuwei) and do the best you can as long as you are having fun.
  10. ADD or ADHD

    Well your input is always helpful. And you are very right they take care of themselves and manage better than others who are supposedly normal.
  11. ADD or ADHD

    It is true we can not fix someone but if the person needs a support and they need rules and structure, what are you going to do? Let them loose and see if they fix themselves when clearly they cannot. It is just looking at a blind man to fall in a hole that he is not aware and doesn't know where he is and I will say, he'll figure out, I let him find his way where clearly he will fall in the hole.
  12. ADD or ADHD

    I have been thinking this over and over. I had similar experience with a lady who suffered from anxiety and other mental challenges, not dementia or other. The fact that they justify, oh it is because I suffer from x,y and z therefore I forget but other things they don't forget, it is a very tough one.
  13. ADD or ADHD

    Any other suggestions out of going out for spending time together doing activities. What about dealing with being forgetful even though she takes her medications? Will I need to set rules and structure to see if that works or is there anything else to suggest?
  14. ADD or ADHD

    Thanks, that's much better as a suggestion. Indeed, I planned to go out of town for a weekend and enjoy nature. And yes I agree is better than the electric brain. In this way it's a test to know how much can we tolerate each other... just kidding... Thanks a bunch
  15. ADD or ADHD

    Isn't that easy to say. It happens every individual is different. Yes, do physical things. She likes to watch movies and could watch movies all day long. Then is to find what physical things does she like? Well, go hiking someone will say. She will like to go hiking for a specific reason. Do social things, yes, then it is to find what kind of social things and then you find she may no like because she thinks she doesn't look pretty or good in the crowd. Oh yes, I will have to encourage her to socialized. Those miracles pills: one sentence, don't work unless you give some explanation or good suggestions. Thank you anyway for the reply.