Friday, March 30, 2018

i'll give you some idea of the frustrations of life as a substitute teacher in a medium-sized, small-town, public high school. i go in there on thursday, last day before break, since their spring break is the week after easter, and it includes good friday, which somehow they are able to take off because it's a snow day unused. snow day unused, because it's in the valley, the desert, and they don't have many snow days. but in any case, it's been a long spring, a long march with no breaks, and every other school has had a midway spring break, but they've gone a little too long.

so on this day they've made an assembly at the end of the day which is a talent show. students themselves will perform and this promises to be interesting. they try to get a dollar off of everyone to support the choir, to go see it, but they basically let people in even if they don't have a dollar. classes are shortened earlier in the day. there is also, around lunchtime, a dedication of a new entrance to the school, where everyone wearing school colors is to be let out fifth period, if they want to, and go be part of this ribbon-cutting.

so the teacher says, classes are short, i don't think most of them will even show up, especially fifth and seventh, there's a track meet (true) and a bunch of other things going on, so there's really no plan. take roll and don't worry about it.

now if you're a sub, roll is a big deal. you don't know them, don't pronounce their names right sometimes, but you keep track on a sheet from the office and you try to get that sheet back to the office in a timely way; the office keeps copious track of who's there and who's not. roll also gives me some control; if i learn their names and use them, it's more effective discipline. when there's nothing to do, they start getting "squirrely," as the other teachers call it. in this case, one kid was giving another lots of "nougies" and it was bordering on bullying. i was tired of it and a little angry.

but the other things they do and were doing, not much better. taking a hole puncher and emptying it out on the floor, so little tiny holes go flying around. taking tape, one piece at a time, and fixing some homework that one of them tore up. this kind of thing. trying to see how annoying one can be.

most classes really appreciate the break, and use it to do their homework. they are high schoolers now, behind on everything, and if they have a chance to go to another class and take a test that they missed, or do some makeup homework, they'll do that, and i encourage it. i let people out if they want out. i try to make class amenable to studying if i can. no nougies of unwilling participants, that kind of stuff.

but, because some are really intent on working, that's why i don't bring up what i want to discuss with them, which is, largest demonstration in the nation, by high school students, filling up d.c., what do you think of that? i wanted to solicit their opinions. but i didn't. they were too burnt out, too squirrely, they weren't going to tell me anything. i gave up, backed off, didn't bother them much.

the talent show was won by a young mexican american who testified that she'd been trained out of doing talent shows in middle school but was going to do this anyway. her song was traditional mexican and was very well done; she was my choice, out of the sixteen, for purely musical reasons. her testimony, and her bright yellow dress, might have helped her victory. up in the stands, students were still squirrely. i stayed near them and glared at them occasionally but mostly i let them be squirrely. there wasn't going to be much teaching going on.

the high school was buoyant, elated, when it was over. people cleared out in minutes. i went back to my classroom to collect my stuff, concentrating on my phone, my hat, my water jug, the things i can't afford to forget over the long break. but, i forget the attendance forms. ah well. sometimes a sub is just a lousy teacher. here i'd filled them out carefully, marked every absence, even made a big deal out of it.

there was one girl in particular. in second hour, which is their free, study-hall hour generally, she had arranged to meet her friends at the library. ordinarily i would let her go during this hour. on this day though a very clear announcement came over that there was to be no movement this hour. no passes. everyone supposed to be where they're supposed to be. so i told her, no, i can say i never saw you, but i can't say i saw you and gave you permission to go. she went anyway. i marked her absent. it was a matter of principle.

but it's still on the guy's desk. he may see it, upon his return, and hand it in, but if not, it'll sit there for a while. it's break, and things have shut down hard.

our kiddos are off good friday too. my opinion, they ought to know what it is, why they're off, what the holiday is about, but i'm not going to lay a big thing on them, he died for your sins and all that. they have plenty of sins, but they don't need an extra burden, until they're ready for it. i'll put some candy inside some eggs and maybe a fortune inside each one, and i'm trying to decide what kind of fortune. probably non-serious ones, like u r a screwball, or, don't stick anything in your ear except your elbow. i went down into the garden and cleaned out some dog poop, but i still have some glass, old cans, etc., before i call it ready to hide eggs. it has warmed up though. even up here on the mountain, one can finally go outside, one can stand out there, and the dogs kind of run around ditzy for a while, and then just sniff their noses at all the cool stuff in the breeze. the little flowers come shooting out of the hillside.

it's spring, and almost everyone is grateful to take a deep breath.


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