Toilet talk

When you're expecting and have to go - a lot - you really don't have much of a choice if you're out in public. I've never been one to really seek out a public restroom, but I'm not opposed/afraid/grossed out by them, either. If you've ever been to a beach or lake, you know their restrooms are sandy, salty, stinky and hot. But, when ya gotta go...ya just go and get out.

However, being pregnant has afforded me the opportunity to explore more PRs than ever before, and I've been having the BEST time with it (sarcasm). I'm like Brooke Burke when she was hosting Wild On!...minus the ridiculous bikini bod. And, I have to say - there have been some major surprises in my lavatory adventures...

Biggest surprise: I can't believe how clean - and I mean spotless - Home Depot's restroom is. It's a place where sweaty men walk around looking for nails and 2x4's - so when I walked into the ladies room and it smelled like a resort lobby, was fully stocked and sparkling like the top of the Chrysler Building, my jaw dropped to the floor. But, it was OK because even the floor was glistening. Public Restroom Report Card Grade: A+.

TJ Maxx in Tustin, CA via Yelp

TJ Maxx in Tustin, CA via Yelp

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Homegoods/TJ Maxx/Marshalls. For stores that proudly tote the "never pay full price for fabulous" motto, and where you can buy Fendi bags and DVF dresses, I'd expect their restrooms to at least be somewhat clean. But, nope. It never fails and it doesn't matter what location I'm in. I open the door with my elbow, hold my breath and make bets with myself that the first stall I open will undoubtedly have some sort of waste in the toilet still. It just feels so wrong to be so grossed out by a 2 1/2 minute bathroom experience and then walk back to my cart full of nice things. Shape up, TJX Companies. Public Restroom Report Card Grade: Big, fat, F.

Here are other surprises/letdowns:

Target was worse than Walmart. I honestly didn't expect that. At all. There were empty coffee cups, dirty, questionably moldy toilet seats and sticky spots on the floor in Target's restroom. Walmart was pristine. Buy Buy Baby was OK. Macy's was disgusting. I contemplated holding it, but hadn't started shopping yet, so even though I quadrupled the toilet seat cover, I still chose to hover. Bed Bath and Beyond was alright, but for a store that has "bath" in their name, I expected better.

I think that's it. Sorry if you thought this post was shitty.