The Law of the Jungle

Men Do Not Want Children


The Law of the Jungle

People get together on the basis of affinities, shared interests and chemistry… but mostly it’s the chemistry.

Without it, a relationship is rather unlikely. At first this may seem insignificant, but it is not. The confusion lies in the fact that we associate desire with love. To feel desired is the same as feeling appreciated. Someone caters to my needs and my desires, and ideally fulfils them.

To feel desired is to feel special, unique, like no other. In the stock market that is seduction, it means gaining a lot in value to someone. I am wanted, and if this isn’t already the case, I can learn to want you too. And the reward if I succeed in desiring you is materialized by sex. That said, desire and sexuality may pretend this is love, but that’s not it at all. At this stage, lust is the basis for a relationship. “I love my wife because she gives me sex and makes me feel like a man.” Or, “I love my husband because he wants me and makes me feel like a woman.” Men choose women they sexually desire. Sex comes first, then affinities. I like my wife’s personality for as long as the sex is good. However, women want to feel desired as a whole person.

But if he wants her less sexually, she feels that he no longer “loves her.” Sexual desire serves as a barometer to feel the pulse of the relationship. Ladies have a fundamental need to love and be loved; they come together as a Whole. Desire, sex and “love” merge into one. That’s why most women struggle with having a lover or being someone’s mistress. They need their lover to give them that Whole; to be their sweetheart’s one and only. In this trade, one of the two parties wants to merge, to form a couple and to put an end to occasional sexual encounters. For a couple to last, men need to keep the flame burning and the woman must feel desired for everything that she is, and not just for what she has between the legs.

Lust is at its peak at the beginning of a relationship, but maintaining this intensity is hard to do in the long term. Over time, and given the differences in fantasies and the evolutionary changes of each partner, desire dwindles and may end up disappearing altogether. What happens when we start arousing our partner less? We flutter about from one person to the other, from one relationship to the next. When a man ceases to desire his wife, it’s probably because he’s lusting after another. Perhaps he feels castrated by his Jezebel and gradually gives up exploring his libido. Yet not obeying his urges proves as difficult for him as it is for her to no longer feel her man’s attraction to her. In other words, she’ll do anything not to lose her emotional security.