what I'm wearing

tie up polka dot top from prettylittlething, with petite mid rise jeans from gap, faux suede mules from h&m and a vintage harrods bag.

A pat on the back, tears of relief, happiness and understanding you deserve good things isn't something so easily believed by a lot of us. We work ourselves so hard, all into a pit of denial that we aren't that successful or deserving of all the well done's that come our way. I degrade my own talents too regularly, it's become a toxic habit, then creating a domino effect of huge demotivation and lack of motivation to which progression then slows down, leaving me in a rut and foul headspace of low self worth and pessimistic thoughts. When someone asks me what is it I do, a worried laziness overcomes me and I completely downplay it, which has only left a majority even more unconvinced and probably clueless as to what I do and can do on a whole anyway. I don't sell myself well enough, not in a way of gaining justification, but I hide the passion out of worry of looking naive and arrogant, I don't even give others a chance to understand or recognise the value in my skills, the more I've relished in doing such a thing, the more I then feel utterly unconvinced in myself. In our current 'have it all' culture, the stress of achieving all we wish at a rapid rate, has played a part in the blindsiding of applauding the smaller achievements that helped us get so far, we want to see the big results, you can be the most balanced individual, but we all want that big win, we deserve one. However if we fail to teach ourselves to take pride and praise ourselves along the way, when those bigger wins come and I'm speaking from experience, they won't feel as victorious. 

I forget - I forget that I'm good, with distinctive eye and multiple talents to match, that when I work at it, damn I create good content, that ideas then flourish and it falls into place. Yet when my modesty gets too much, when I fall into the destructive trap of comparison of another's work and timeline against my own, I halt. I over think and question myself, filled with doubt and self pity. I trap myself. I deserve good things, I'm good as are you. Keep telling yourself humbly so and never halt. You deserve good things.

with love, Kat