Dear Harriette: My family takes a lot of driving trips to visit family and friends, even when we are going on vacation. It is the most affordable way for a family of five to get around. Where we run into trouble is that each of us likes different music. Our musical tastes could not be more different. So what happens is that there is an ongoing battle as to whose music gets played. When we are driving for five or more hours, this can be stressful. Do you have a recommendation on how to handle this? — My Turn

Dear My Turn: This is a classic challenge for driving trips. The goal should be to play an assortment of music so that everybody will be happy by the time the trip has ended. Most important is to ensure that the driver is alert, so whoever is driving should have first dibs on the musical selections, especially when he or she is getting weary. Beyond that, you can map out the trip and divide up the time so that each person’s music plays for a while. You could invite a family member to create a playlist featuring a curated selection of everyone’s music mixed together.

If you have small children in the car, select times to play their music when you imagine they might be cranky. If you pay attention to everyone and what stimulates them to be friendly and engaged in the car, you can create an inspired environment.

You may also want to introduce games that get everyone talking and staying alert. My family sometimes plays the A-to-Z game, where we look for the letters of the alphabet in order on license plates, billboards and other signage. We call out when we see a letter and then we hunt for the next one. It keeps the whole car engaged.

Dear Harriette: A good friend of mine looks like he is extremely ill. He has lost tons of weight and is not doing well. When I have asked him what’s going on, he says some vague things, but nothing matches what’s happening to his body. I am so worried about him. His wife is in the dark as well. She says he keeps everything to himself. This makes it hard to know how to help him. She is at her wit’s end. Same for the close friends who have seen him. Is there anything I can do to help my friend who is holding everything so close to the vest? — A Friend in Need

Dear A Friend in Need: You cannot force your friend to disclose what is going on with him. What you can do is stay in close touch. Since his wife is also unaware of what’s going on with him, she needs as much support as possible. Call her regularly and invite her to join you for tea or coffee. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open so that if there is a need, it will be easy for them to reach out to you.

Dear Harriette: I was invited to a couple of black-tie events this season. When I dug out my dresses, I realized that most of my eveningwear is way too small. I don’t want to hold on to these dresses in hopes that they will fit next year because I seriously doubt that I will lose enough weight for that to happen. I also don’t want to toss them. I know a woman who may fit them perfectly. She is in one of my social clubs. Do you think it would be rude of me to offer for her to look at them and pay me a small fee if she wants to have them? One dress still has tags on it. I would charge only a small amount, but it would help me to be able to replace the ones that don’t fit. — Sell Off

Dear Sell Off: You are smart to want to get rid of the dresses that you aren’t wearing and that do not fit. Making room in your closet for what fits you now is smart. There’s nothing wrong with selling them at a nominal price, either. Just know that this woman may not be interested. Be direct with her. Let her know that you thought of her as you pulled out these dresses and would like her to take a look. If she’s interested, let her know what you will charge as well as what the value of the dresses is.



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