A Few of My Favorite Things, 2007 Edition

It seems kind of obligatory to create a list of great things from 2007. So here's mine. To be clear, though, this is my 2007 list-- stuff I encountered in 2007. Some of this stuff might not exactly be of this year, but these things were all experienced by me this year.

Best Movies
No Country for Old Men
Sweeney Todd
The King of Kong

Best Demonic Possession
Marlena's on Days of Our Lives from the 90s (recently rerun on SoapNet)

Best Books
A Good War is Hard to Find by David Griffith
Another Bullshit Night in Suck City by Nick Flynn
Enough About You: Adventures in Autobiography by David Shields
Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi
Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo
The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway

Beer of the Year

Best Television Shows
Battlestar Galactica
South Park
Metal Mania (you know, on VH-1 Classic from midnight to four a.m. on Saturday nights/ Sunday mornings?)
Curb Your Enthusiasm

Best Television Shows on DVD to Watch to Unwind
Arrested Development
The Simpsons (seasons 2-9)
South Park
Freaks and Geeks
Battlestar Galactica

Best Online Columns
My Year of Flops by Nathan Rabin
Savage Love by Dan Savage
Permanent Damage by Steven Grant

Best newly-minted PhD/ Vegetarian/ Lutheran/ Thumb Wrestling Opponent

Best Way to Prepare Eggs
Scrambled, with just a little bit of the shredded 2% Milk Kraft Mexican Cheese blend and some tabasco sauce.

Best Songs
Regina Spektor, "Us" and "Samson"
Feist, "1 2 3 4"
John Cale, most of blackAcetate

Best Skinemax-style science fiction softcore porn

Best Fritter
The lobster fritters at Prime Catch in Boynton Beach

Best Soap Opera
General Hospital from 1982

Best Blog
Incertus (naturally)

Don't Drink and Wii





Me and Elia Ring in 2008

"Every man," Charles Lamb wrote, "hath two birth-days: two days, at least, in every year, which set him upon revolving the lapse of time, as it affects his mortal duration." He goes on to say, "No one ever regarded the First of January with indifference. It is that from which all date their time, and count upon what is left. It is the nativity of our common Adam."

I don't really tend to make New Year's resolutions anymore-- not because I've achieved some level of perfection (or even satisifaction with who and how I am), but because I'm realistic. I might resolve to stick to an exercise schedule-- run three days out of the week, swim every morning, whatever-- but that will go by the wayside at some point before mid-semester. And then I'll just hate myself even more. And who needs that? I will say that I plan to eat healthier and exercise more than I have in the past month or so, but that's not a resolution so much as prediction-- now that the holidays are over, there won't be so many casseroles, and I'll have more time for sit-ups.

So while self-improvement isn't a huge priority, I do find myself considering all that I've failed to do with my life so far, and how I might try to get more of this stuff done in 2007. I was talking to a friend at MLA a couple days ago and said, "If I could just get the book out I'd be completely satisfied with my life forever," and he gently reminded me that, at different times, I'd said "If I could just get one publication..." or "If I could just get a tenure-track job..." The more I have, the more I want. Nevertheless, the book weighs heavily on my mind these days. The great rejection of 2007 said, essentially, that the book wasn't depressing enough, and that the narrator seemed unreliable in his positive outlook and general good humor in certain places (not in others, like when he flips out and screams at his mother or broods upon the exciting sex life he just knows his ex-girlfriend is enjoying even while he suffers through chemotherapy treatments). An unreliable narrator can be a useful literary device, but not in a memoir, which is what my book is. So that one stung.

The memoir's been put on the back-burner at the moment, though, as I've now embarked on creating a collection of linked essays that I'm more excited about. Maybe 2008 will be kind to that book.

Otherwise, there's not a whole hell of a lot to be dissatisfied with. Not in my personal or professional lives, anyway. Good job. Great colleagues. Strong, happy marriage-- I found out at MLA that my relationship is the envy of some of my friends, which is nice to know. I'm not sure how that happened-- we're both quite crazy, but in compatible ways, I suppose. My parents and siblings all seem happy and healthy, as do my friends. And I guess I'd rather have that than a book (but can't I please please please have both?).

Culturally, I think 2008 will be better than the last few years. I think compassion is fashionable again, and that people in America are becoming kinder and more reflective. Not all of them, mind you-- I was just in Aurora, Illinois, where people still have obnoxious signs in their yard arguing against providing affordable health care to women. But still-- we're going to be getting rid of Dennis Hastert, Dick Cheney, and George W. Bush. 2008 will be great, if only for that.

New Indiana Jones, Batman, Incredible Hulk, and Iron Man movies this summer. New episodes of David Letterman with the participation of the WGA. New studio album from R.E.M. New episodes of Battlestar Galactica. A new Paul Thomas Anderson film based on an Upton Sinclair novel starring Daniel Day Lewis (technically, this is a 2007 thing, but by the time I get around to seeing it...). The final trade paperback of Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol comics from the early 90s. Yep. Entertainiment in 2008 looks downright... entertaining.

I know I said at the start of this blog post that I don't really make New Year's resolutions, and I don't. But I do periodically resolve to try to be a better, more open-minded person-- even when I just know I'm right-- and I guess that on this day, one of my two birth-days, I can go ahead and try to recommit myself to being more tolerant of and respectful towards those I disagree with. To avoid the arrogant certainty that I always know what's right. That's not to say that I'll keep my convictions to myself or avoid passionate disagreement, but I'll be more careful-- in the coming year-- to remember that people themselves don't deserve my hatred, no matter how loathesome or destructive their ideologies may be. People are to be loved, pitied, and/or feared-- never hated, regardless of what they believe.

Well, people who think that my sense of humor makes me an unreliable narrator in my own book about my own experiences, maybe...

Happy New Year, one and all.

"Of all sounds of all bells--(bells, the music nighest bordering upon heaven)--most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. I never hear it without a gathering-up of my mind to a concentration of all the images that have been diffused over the past twelvemonth; all I have done or suffered, performed or neglected--in that regretted time. I begin to know its worth, as when a person dies."

-- Charles Lamb, "New Year's Eve"

Here he comes

I don't know what it is--am I just trying desperately to get in a few more blog posts before the year ends? Am I staying up late so I can sleep in tomorrow in preparation for the New years Eve festivities? Well, yes on the latter. But I'm also feeling a little prescient right now, thanks to this article about Michael Bloomberg. See, when I wrote earlier about a Howard Fineman piece on Bloomberg, I said this:

And here we are, three days before the Iowa caucuses, where Huckabee has surged (though according to one poll, Romney has taken his lead back) and Bloomberg is in the news openly considering a run. If the Iowa power players are listening, he's saying "don't bother caucusing--let Huckabee win and I'll be your guy." Hell, I'll let Bloomberg speak through the reporter:

I'll be clear here--I think a Bloomberg candidacy helps the Democrats way more than hurts them. US politics are very polarized right now, and for good reason--the right has spent the last 7 years destroying much of this country, and there are a lot of people looking for some payback. This will be a party-line election, I believe, and while there may not be a progressive majority in this country, I think there's a plurality, and that will be enough since the Electoral College is still in place.

Oh, and if you need a good progressive reason to not consider Bloomberg for the Presidency, I have one for you.

Enough said.

Bradley Came to Miami, F-L-A






Okay, now about that bed...

Brian's Endorsements for the Democratic and Republican Presidential Nominations


John Edwards




Mike Huckabee




Welcome to the World of Tomorrow!











What's your future?

Posted without much comment




I love it when a giant fails.

I Got an iPhone for Saturnalia, And My First Random Ten




1. Volkswagon Thing -- Wammo
2. Dinah -- Lionel Hampton
3. Viola Lee Blues -- Grateful Dead
4. Run Through the Jungle -- Creedence Clearwater Revival
5. Death Letter -- John Mellencamp
6. Come On -- The Verve
7. Don't Pass Me By -- The Beatles
8. Glad Tidings -- Van Morrison

Negative psychology and the Random Ten

"Clearly a negative psychology pervades consumers, which has hurt home buying," Baumohl said.

That's a quote from this piece on the continuing woes in the housing market. It's one of those "duh" pieces to anyone who's been following the story--the most fascinating thing to me has been the attempted spin by almost everyone involved in the financial side of the story. The problem is always taxes or negative psychology or negativity in the press or a lack of enthusiasm in the market. You know what it never seems to be? Prices are too high for what people are earning. That's really it--prices are too high for what people are earning.

Think about how many times you've read these words or something like them over the last couple of years, as the housing market went into free-fall.
For many borrowers, exotic subprime loans featuring adjustable rates, interest-only payments or short-term teaser rates were viewed as the only way they could afford to get into the housing market. But soaring monthly payments have led many to default, and most lenders no longer offer these types of mortgages.
If that's the only way you can get into the housing market, then you can't afford to get into it--but to acknowledge that prices are too high would mean that everyone on the financial side would have to back down on their goal of making even more money every year.

I mean, this is basic economics--a thing is worth what someone is willing and able to pay for it. In the case of a lot of these houses, there were people who were plenty willing, but completely unable; ergo, the houses are too expensive. These people didn't need "creative financing;" they needed cheaper houses. As do we, seeing as we live in one of those places where the majority of middle-class wage earners who own houses couldn't afford to buy their own houses at the peak of the boom.

There are only a couple of realistic options for correcting this problem, it seems to me. Either salaries have to go up so that people can afford the asking prices for these houses without having to resort to creative financing, or the prices have to come down. I'd prefer the former, frankly, as I have some other, fixed-interest debt that would be cheaper to me if my salary went up, but I'll take what I can get either way. I suspect that in the long term, there will be some sort of meeting in the middle, and that house prices will hit bottom and then remain flat for a few years until the next ridiculous expansion begins.

This is the last Random Ten of the year for me, obviously--no special attempts at hipness or sarcasm--just ten songs from the shuffle mode of my new iPod Touch, which is one slim piece of awesome. Here we go:
1. Soon--Squirrel Nut Zippers
2. More Than a Woman--911
3. Tread Water--De La Soul
4. Super-Hoe--Boogie Down Productions
5. Go to the Mardi Gras--Professor Longhair
6. Get Back--The Beatles
7. Sol Tapado--Thievery Corporation
8. Instinct Blues--The White Stripes
9. Magic Suitcase--Carbon/Silicon
10. Ever Fallen In Love--Nouvelle Vague
Musical question of the week--what's the best album you discovered this year? Doesn't have to be one that came out this year--it just has to be new to you.

Do you love the USA?

Hacksaw Jim Duggan does.

Just thought you should know.

Online at altitude

It's a little amusing to read this hand-wringing piece over the potential etiquette problems in the move toward installing WiFi on airplanes, considering that flying--in coach at least--has become so unpleasant in recent years that I only do it if I have no other option.

Let me begin by saying that, internet junkie though I am, I think this is going to make an already aggravating process even worse, in part because of the problems described in this article.

Seat 17D is yapping endlessly on an Internet phone call. Seat 16F is flaming Seat 16D with expletive-laden chats. Seat 16E is too busy surfing pornography sites to care. Seat 17C just wants to sleep.

It's the first one that I would find unbearable, frankly. I find the practice of having private conversations in public places to be about as rude as shitting in the garden, if not more so. When I'm in a store, and I'm near someone who's yapping on about some banality, I can always move along. If I'm in my classroom, and a student get a call, I can always do this.

But if I'm trapped in a long, aluminum, winged tube tens of thousands of feet above the ground, I have no escape. At least I can sympathize with a baby whose ears are popping and can only express its discomfort with wailing. Being forced to listen to someone's description of their awesome weekend where they got totally trashed is one of those things that drives me to near-violence.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the other things they talk about as being as much of a problem. Playing music loudly? Don't need the internet for that, and it's not an issue so far. Looking at porn? Same thing, really--sure, you could use the internet to access it, but if you're the kind of wanker who's going to pop open a browser of boobs and cock in public, aren't you probably the kind of person who has a detailed, indexed, cross-referenced personal collection on your laptop?

And then there's this:
What if the passenger in front of you wants to recline, making it difficult to surf comfortably on your laptop? What if you're finishing a crucial e-mail on deadline and an adjacent passenger needs to leave for the bathroom? What if the person next to you keeps peering over while you're trying to review a confidential Web site?
What this is really addressing is one of the major problems with flying--too many people crammed into too little space. It's the primary reason I don't fly unless I have to--I can't afford first-class, and there's no room for anything in coach. Internet access isn't going to exacerbate this problem. It's only going to point it out in a different way.

I will admit, it would be nice to be able to distract myself from the cramped quarters, the horrible movies, the noisy neighbors, the lack of service on most flights by looking at blogs and the like on my iPod Touch (thanks Amy!) via its Wi-Fi access, assuming I was forced to be on a plane in the first place, but you know what would be even better? Free Wi-Fi on Amtrak.

The Elves Have Rescued Xmas Day!

Political Philosophy for a New Year








Maybe he's in the TARDIS?








Symbolism, people!

It's really not that difficult. After all, the majority of western literature is predicated on it, as is most religious belief. Yes, there are some people who literally believe that the earth is 6,000 years old and that fossils are God's way of testing our faith, but they're the exception, not the rule. What's so difficult about the symbolism in this story?

(Man, I wish I could find a picture of this.)
EDIT: Merry Xmas Brian


The Bremerton resident nailed Santa Claus to a 15-foot crucifix in front of his house....


And yet...
Jake Tally walked by on Friday and chuckled, but did not pretend to understand the message.


Oh Jake, why dost thou test me so?

Away We Go (Again)






Bradley (and Emily, too)

Some Clarifications





Bradley's Endorsements for the Democratic and Republican Nominations

Last week, the Des Moines Register and the Boston Globe made national headlines as they announced their endorsements for candidates seeking the major parties' nominations for president. John McCain was each paper's preferred Republican, while Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama got support from the Register and the Globe, respectively.

Anyway, I figured I've kept people in suspense long enough. It's time that I endorsed some candidates. So, here goes.

Democrat: Dennis Kucinich

I'm sick of the "conventional wisdom" that says that Kucinich is "unelectable." I can't really get excited by a candidate who authorized the current occupation of Iraq (like Clinton or Edwards), and I also think he's the one candidate with really bold initiatives in a variety of areas-- the environment, the economy, health care, you name it. Of all the candidates, I suppose Kucinich strikes me as the most principled and the most idealistic-- and those two qualities make him a better candidate than anyone else on the field.

Republican: Alan Keyes

Alan Keyes is similarly principled, except his principles are absolutely bat-shit crazy. He even threw his own daughter out of the house and cut her off completely because he thinks that his God commands him to hate gay people, even his own children. And frankly, I think Republicans ought to get excited about Keyes-- he's anti-choice, anti-gay, anti-immigrant, and in favor of abstinence-only sex education. Seriously, he's the most consistent guy the rightwingers have. So let him run!

And then, in January, 2009, we can all welcome President Kucinich to the White House. Pretty sweet, huh?

Some More Movie Reviews from Casa BrIsaacson

Emily and I just got back from Sweeney Todd, which I think should be renamed Swelly Todd or Sweeney Toddally Awesome! Okay, maybe not. But it was quite a good movie-- and I say that as someone who does not normally have much of a fondness for Stephen Sondheim musicals (I'm much more of a Oscar Hammerstein kinda guy, if you couldn't tell). But I am someone who generally really likes Tim Burton movies-- I know that they often seem like confections, style over substance, all that. But in a film, I can sometimes appreciate style over substance. And in some Tim Burton films, I can often find some amount of substance to appreciate. Big Fish and Ed Wood are both just lovely, as far as I'm concerned.

Sweeney Todd has all the style you'd expect from a Tim Burton film-- the costuming evokes a sense of grimy aristocracy, the main characters' hair disobeys certain laws of physics, and he's using that red paint for blood that he used in Sleepy Hollow to evoke those old Hammer Horror movies from the 60s and 70s. But there's also a surprising amount of depth here, too-- as Sondheim, Burton, and Johnny Depp present him, Sweeney Todd is a violent man whose rage consumes him to the point that he... Nah. That would be telling. But, needless to say, Sweeney Todd joins Atonement and No Country for Old Men as part of our recent trifecta of brutally violent movies that serve to illustrate a larger point about the role violence plays in our lives. I highly recommend seeing it.

The other movie Emily and I recently watched was Menham Golan's 1980 musical/ drug-induced celluloid nightmare The Apple. I know for a fact that at some point I wrote about wanting to see this movie very very badly on this blog, because I feel like Brian agreed with me that Nathan Rabin's review of the film made it sound like something everyone in the world needs to see to believe. Alas, a quick search of this blog does not turn up anything. I probably mentioned it in a comment or something.

Anyway, The Apple was everything I hoped it would be. And then some. Take a gander at this:

I know, right?

The movie tells the story of a not-too-distant future (1994, to be precise) where disco has taken over the world and people drive cars that look like they were first sold in 1978, but that have cool, futuristic looking "fins" on them. Oh, and the rock stars all rock so hard, they wear helmets adorned with glitter. 'Cause if you're gonna rock that hard, you want to protect yourself.

Our heroes, Bebe and Alfie (Catherine Mary Stewart and George Gilmour) are, as Rabin wrote, "so sickeningly wholesome that Donny & Marie would probably watch them perform and marvel 'God, what a coupla pussies.'” And their lame-ass accoustic folk sound poses a threat to the omnipresent, world government-controlling Boogalow International Music (BIM)... for some reason. So, the head of the the company, Boogalow (who also happens to be Satan himself) quickly signs Bebe up to be his next big star. Alfie smells a rat and refuses to sign the contract so he gets, like, beaten up and stuff while Bebe goes off the fuck one of the other rock stars in Boogalow's employ. It should also be noted that George Gilmour portrays Alfie with a certain Shakespearean flair-- and by "Shakespearean" I mean "like a dead guy." In fact, the acting in this movies is pretty across-the-board terrible, except for Vladek Sheybal as Boogalow, who seems to be the only performer in the film with any background in musical theatre. Or an intro to acting class.

(Interesting note-- as we watched the movie, Emily asked me when Sheybal appeared, "Who is that guy? He looks familiar." And he does. Actually, though, I think it's that he sort of looks like Peter Cushing or Vincent Price-- thin frame, sharp features, and that perfectly-sculpted, stiffly combed-back kinda hair. Emily and I have taken to referring to that hairstyle as "a hairline you can set your watch to," and we encourage you to do the same).

Anyway. I don't want to give too much away. Let's just say that The Apple is a disco/ glam rock retelling of the story of Adam and Eve, and that it Out-Xanadoes Xanadu. Emily and I watched it without the benefit of any type of mind-altering substances, but I imagine it would go quite well with any number of cocktails. Or plants or funguses or whatever.

The latest on media consolidation








Rose Petal Cottage

I have to thank one of my students for calling this to my attention: there is apparently a "toy" being promoted on television right now called the "Rose Petal Cottage" -- it's supposed to be a play house for girls. So what's in it? A laundry machine, a dishwasher, and a baby in a rocker.


As NOW president Kim Gandy says:




Unlike her, I would like to "knock" the important work of housekeeping: not that it's unimportant, but frankly, if I could buy a robot to do all these things, like the one that cleans my floors, I would. I want a laundry basket that auto-sorts and send them to the wash when the basket's full, folds and returns them to my drawers. I want a slot built into my kitchen counter into which I can drop all dirty dishes, and see them miraculously appear back in the cabinets, super-clean. I don't think this is work to inspire the "imagination" of anyone, girl or boy -- unless that girl or boy is the one who designs and builds the robots!

Toy manufacturers may be working hard to discourage that as well; Gandy again:


Our lives are a war, and we have been traitors every one of our born days. Spies in the enemy's country. Sometimes we forget that. And then we see something like this.

Yet another reason for me to be anxious

Concealed weapons laws make me very nervous. Perhaps because I'm generally a nervous person. Perhaps because I don't really like guns. Perhaps because I lost a number of classmates to gun violence in middle and high school. Perhaps because I am a relatively small woman who teaches (sometimes angry) young people.

The list could probably go on.

But this makes me particularly unhappy -- and points to a moment when government inefficiency becomes not just frustrating, but potentially dangerous:

State workers have moved too slowly in rescinding the gun licenses of people arrested or convicted of crimes in many cases sampled by outside auditors, according to a critical review of Florida's concealed weapons program.

As a result, the newly released report by Florida's Auditor General states that there is "an increased risk that unqualified persons may remain licensed to carry a concealed weapon or firearm."

Um ... that's not very good. The Sun-Sentinel has the whole story.

Christmas with the Hitch

Obviously, I'm not an atheist, but I found this interview with Christopher Hitchens about atheism in America (and the way he celebrates the Festivus season with his kids) really interesting. While I disagree with him on quite a few large issues, Hitchens has an eloquent and persuasive style of argumentation, whether he's writing or speaking. Consider this:

"Everyone has the need to experience something larger than their mammalian self, to be just a bit more than a primate. Knowing that we are primates, I think, is a fascinating discovery, and a very interesting and rather cheering one. To find out how much we have in common with other creatures and with other forms of life like vegetation, in our DNA—it's all very interesting, as well as giving us a more modest sense of ourselves. But we can't just be primates all day. We need to fall in love; we have a very strong connection with music, and a feeling for landscape. And in my case—because I'm not a great outdoors person, though I love the sea—for literature and poetry."

Good stuff. Consider this a postscript to my previous blog entry about interesting stuff I've read today.

Stuff Worth Reading and a Random Ten

So I've got this cold that's just kicking my ass. I thought I was getting better for a while there on Wednesday, but apparently celebrating my newly-restored health with a couple bottles of Pinot Grigio caused a setback. So I'm not going to write much today, but will instead direct your attention to some stuff I've been reading online.

First of all, we'll never be able to repay Jeff Fecke for his recent blogposts about Jonah Goldberg's new book. Today's entry is particularly vital, as Fecke points out that Goldberg actually cites the pseudo-historical hate tract The Pink Swastika as a source to claim that modern liberal values are somehow the same as the values espoused by Nazi leaders in Germany. The Pink Swastika is a book that the Reverend Fred Phelps was hawking on his repulsive website for a long time, for those of you unfamiliar with the text.

As part of his coverage of the Jena 6 case, Brian has written a bit about white liberals and discussions of race, and today on Alternet Alex Jung has written a pretty compelling piece called White Liberals Have White Privilege Too! I find myself agreeing with most of Jung's assertions, but even if you find the article less persuasive than I did, chances are you'll find something insightful in it.

Also at Alternet, Melissa Roddy examines how Tom Hanks, Mike Nichols, and Aaron Sorkin have cleaned up history in order to turn Charlie Wilson's War into a more positive, upbeat crowd-pleaser of a film. From the beginning, I had my doubts about this one-- how do you turn the arming of the Afghan Mujahiddin into a Tom Hanks movie, especially considering how that kinda came back to bite us in the ass less than two decades later? The answer, it seems, it to selectively edit the history you're going to portray-- rewrite the facts in order to give the folks a character they can admire. I wasn't a fan of Hanks, Nichols, or Sorkin before this one (I think that Forest Gump, Primary Colors, and The West Wing were all way overrated)-- this movie, I suspect, might be enough for me to completely avoid them in the future.

Anyway, here's my Random Ten. Grab a box of Kleenex and a bag of Halls with Vitamin C, sit on your couch with a thermometer sticking out of your mouth, shuffle your music player, and record the first ten songs to come up.

1) Nine Inch Nails-- "Hyperpower!"
2) Uncle Tupelo-- "No Depression"
3) Wilco-- "Burned"
4) Feist-- "Honey Honey"
5) They Might Be Giants-- "Spiralling Shape"
6) Reel Big Fish-- "Everything Sucks"
7) White Stripes-- "Indistinct Blues"
8) REM-- "It's a Free World Baby"
9) Prince-- "She's Always in My Hair"
10) Reel Big Fish-- "Boys Don't Cry"


Like most Americans, I'm interested in where my people came from: who are my ancestors, and when and how did they get to this continent?

In my case I'm particularly attached to the strand of family traced by my surname: Letter. One reason for this is that this is the family I grew up around. But also, there simply aren't many of us. If I run into someone named Letter in America, I know we're related, and closely, too. (This actually just came up when a colleague, one JG, mentioned that he had a friend at Tulane with my last name. I immediately said, "he's got to be related to me!" and JG disconcertedly said, "that's exactly what he said" -- turns out he's my dad's first cousin.) The Letter family as we know it has a not-so-long and somewhat illustrious lore -- we were coal barons, rich but dirty, and to the best of anyone's knowledge, the first Letter in America is one Mr. Owen Letter, who came to the US in the late 1800s, and whose grandson is my grandfather.

At least I thought so before today.

I have probably mentioned before that The Proceedings of the Old Bailey are available online, and are searchable. You can search for particular crimes (homosexuality is an interesting one), particular names (your own family name, for example... and don't fret if your name isn't English; plenty of foreigners appeared in court as victims, witnesses, judges, prosecutors (plaintiffs), officers, jury members, and, of course, criminals), and of course you can search by punishment.

The most interesting punishment to me is Transportation.

As the website explains:

The first major innovation in eighteenth-century penal practice was the extensive use of transportation. Although there was some idea that transportation might lead to the reformation of the offender, the primary motivations behind this punishment were deterrence and the exile of hardened criminals from society.

convicts sentenced to transportation being led to a boat at blackfriars bridge.  they include some children and are chained together by their necks. reproduced courtesy of and with thanks to mark herber from criminal london: a pictorial history from medieval times to 1939 (chichester, 2002).Although many convicts were transported in the seventeenth century, it had to be done at their own expense or at the expense of merchants or shipowners. In the early eighteenth century there was a desire to extend transportation as a way of creating a more effective alternative to the death penalty (in terms of deterring crime) than benefit of clergy and whipping. In 1718 the first Transportation Act allowed the courts to sentence felons guilty of offences subject to benefit of clergy to seven years transportation to America. In 1720 a further statute authorized payments by the state to the merchants who contracted to take the convicts to America.

The first Transportation Act also allowed those guilty of capital offences and pardoned by the king to be sentenced to transportation, and it established returning from transportation as a capital offence.

Under the terms of the Transportation Act, those sentenced to death could be granted a royal pardon on condition of being transported for fourteen years or life. From 1739, a number of such cases appear in the Proceedings.

In 1776 transportation was halted by the outbreak of war with America. Although convicts continued to be sentenced to transportation, male convicts were confined to hard labour in hulks on the Thames, while women were imprisoned. Transportation resumed in 1787 with a new destination: Australia. This was seen as a more serious punishment than imprisonment, since it involved exile to a distant land.

In the early nineteenth century, as part of the revisions of the criminal law, transportation for life was substituted as the maximum punishment for several offences which had previously been punishable by death.

Or, more interestingly put (in this case from my birthday, July 17, 1674):

Besides these persons Condemned to die, there were 5. Convicted of severall Felonies which desired the mercy of the Court for transportation, and had it granted, being sentence'd accordingly, of whom one Mall. Floyd was particularly remarkable for her Crime, she having it seems found out a new Trade not simply to Kidnapp or steal little Children quite away, But to Inveigle them to some strange by places and there rifle them, and so turn them abroad to shift for themselves, Thus the Third of July meeting a pretty little Child of about 8 yeares of Age neatly drest in Shoe Lane, She pretending She came from her Mother, carryed it with her as farr as St Giles's, and had it into an Alehouse there, where seeing it rain, She pretended all the Childs Cloathes would be Spoiled, and under that pretence took away from it Severall Laces and peices of Linnen Knots and the like, and then carrying her into St Giles's Churchyard where there then happened to be a Burial, She Lost her in the Crowd of People , who then not Knowing where She was, nor the way home, fell a crying, and was brought home that Night by some honest Inhabitant there abouts, where she told all the sad Story, but could not in the least declare who it was had served her so, or where she might be heard of, nor was there any probability of her being discovered, had it not strangely been disclosed by Accident, for the very next day the Childs Mother passing up Holbourn, saw some of her Childs things hang up in a Shop to be sold, which She knew again and acquainted the people of the Shop there with, who after some time and much trouble found out this Woman that sold the things to them who upon her Examination Confessed the whole matter before the Justice , and was Committed to Newgate, (having been often a distressed Lady before in that Inchanted Castle) from whence She is now by Sentence to be Transported to some of the Plantations beyond the Seas .

Yes, Transported to some of the Plantations beyond the Seas -- Oh, Mall Floyd, you oft distressed lady of the Inchanted Castle, How romantic.

My ancestor, Elizabeth Letter, whose trial is recorded happening on October 26th 1757, appears to have been nothing worse than a drunk and a pickpocket -- at least she was accused as such. She does have her side of the story to tell:

Prisoner's Defence.


What do you mean you don't believe her? Well, the judge didn't either. She was sentenced to transportation when that still meant America, not Australia. So it's very possible that my family has been wrong all these years: the first Letter in America was not a man named Owen, but a woman named Elizabeth. Sure, I'm directly descended from Owen. But this is interesting anyway.

What ever happened to Elizabeth? Did she really get sent? Did she survive the journey? Did she survive 1750's North America? Did she toil in slavery? Did she witness the revolution? Participate? Give a rat's behind? Did she marry? Did she have children? Did she get kidnapped by Indians? Did she pickpocket the Indians? Did she cry herself to sleep every night, and dream of London?

Did she feel quite Transported to the Plantations beyond the Seas?

The year-end ICFU and the Random Ten

Welcome once again to the least-read sports column on the internet. The Mighty Burrow Owls open a new chapter in their sports history tonight when they face Memphis in the New Orleans Bowl, and if you didn't know there was such a thing, you could be excused for that. See, there's 32 bowl games this year, with 64 teams competing, and since there are 120 teams total in the formerly-known-as-Division-1-and-I-can't-be-bothered-to-learn-the-new-name, that means that 53% of the teams in said division are in a bowl game, which makes it only slighty more compelling than the first round of the NHL playoffs.

But still, the Mighty Burrow Owls are the Sun Belt Conference co-champions this year, and are in New Orleans on the strength of their season-ending win over Troy State, with whom they share the championship. Woo hoo? If you're a college football fan, it's an interesting story, seeing as FAU's program is the fastest to go from non-existent to a bowl game, no doubt aided by the fact that 1) there's a bit more parity in college football in general and 2) that there are so many freaking bowl games. It's also an interesting story because for the coach, Howard Schnellenberger, this is another example of how he's taken a program from either obscurity or from scratch and built it into a viable program in a short period of time. He's 73 now, and he's unlikely to get another shot at it. The Mighty Burrow Owls will be on tv tonight.

As for the other teams in the update, well, they get to face off against each other in the Cotton Bowl, on New Years Day. The game starts at 11:30, when all sensible people are still asleep on New Years Day. I don't expect any of us will be watching, nor do I expect much in the way of alumni boasting no matter who wins the game. I wore a plastic hog nose once when I was at Arkansas, mostly as a joke, and because it was chilly at the game I was attending. That's about the extent of my excitement for the team. Hurray?

Here's the Random Ten, first week off school, the break's not long enough for me to have stomach problems edition. Put your iTunes on party shuffle and post the next ten songs to pop up. Who's down with O.P.P.?

1. First Love--Stereo MCs
2. Walk On the Ocean--Toad the Wet Sprocket
3. The Stand--The Coup
4. Personal Jesus--Johnny Cash
5. Who Got It--Talib Kweli
6. Cuandao Cuando--Ozomatli
7. Scenario--A Tribe Called Quest
8. Brown Skin Lady--Black Star
9. Missing Link--Squirrel Nut Zippers
10. The Negro Speaks of Rivers--Langston Hughes (thanks Emily!)

Here's a question of the day sort of thing for anyone interested. What's the oddest non-music thing on either your iPod or iPod equivalent or in your computer's music player?

Blood and Egg Nog

Some of you might recall that a couple months ago, in anticipation of Halloween, I blogged about my ideas for a 24 hour Halloween horror movie marathon. With Christmas fast approaching, I thought that maybe I'd do something similar. Of course, it's not Halloween, so consider this the lineup for my 24 hour Christmas horror movie marathon.

(Those of you who don't celebrate Christmas-- or for some odd reason celebrate the holiday without the traditional horror movie marathon-- can feel free to either ignore this post or consider this a secular, Winter Wonderland kinda horror movie marathon. No skin off my mask made of human flesh).

Noon-- Christmas Evil (dir. Lewis Jackson, 1980)

Let's get this thing started right! This might be the best serial killer in a Santa Claus costume ever, if only for the killer's origin. It seems that, as a kid, our killer loved Christmas, and he especially loved the fact that on Christmas Eve one night, Santa came to his house to hang out for a bit. Of course, we the viewer know that Santa is really Dad dressed up, but this kid doesn't realize it. Or, at least, he doesn't realize it until he wanders downstairs hours later and sees Santa going down on his mom! So, naturally, he becomes a serial killer. You'd do the same thing.

1:30-- Santa Claus (dir. René Cardona, 1959)

This isn't really much of a horror movie, but Santa fights Satan to save Christmas. Satan's scary, right? Well, not in this movie-- where he's basically just a guy wearing red long underwear-- but in general. Right?

3:00-- Silent Night, Deadly Night (dir. Charles E. Sellier, Jr., 1984)

This is probably the most famous of the "serial killer in a Santa suit" subgenre, but I'm kind of tempted to just do Silent Night, Deadly Night 2, which is largely just a collection of flashbacks (featuring about 40 minutes from the original film) arranged around some framing devices-- it's not a sequel so much as a re-edited version of the first film. But this movie is important, if only because at the time Mickey Rooney penned a letter of protest against the movie saying that the "scum" responsible for such tasteless holiday exploitation should be "run out of town."

4:30-- Silent Night, Bloody Night (dir. Theodore Gershuny, 1974)

If only to prove that this is not the same movie as Silent Night, Deadly Night.

6:00-- Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (dir. Nicholas Webster, 1964)

There aren't enough movies about Santa Claus "conquering" people. I mean, he's got a flying sleigh and all sorts of sophisticated surveillance equipment-- you just know this guy could kick some ass. As the Martian sons of bitches are about to find out...

7:30-- Gremlins (dir. Joe Dante, 1984)

Some of you might be thinking right about now, "Bradley-- though you're unbearably handsome and undeniably brilliant-- many of these movies aren't that scary." To which I say, "Perhaps you're right-- but here's a movie that features Judge Reinhold in a supporting role. Judge 'Spooky' Reinhold." Quake in terror, motherfuckers.

9:30-- The Nightmare Before Christmas (dir. Henry Selick, 1993)

'Cause we needed some Christmas music.

11:00-- Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker (dir. Martin Kitrosser, 1991)

You know who plays The Toymaker? None other than Mickey "Run 'em Out of Town" Rooney. Things were a bit rough for poor Mickey in the 90s...

12:30-- Jack Frost (dir. Michael Cooney, 1996)

This isn't the movie where Michael Keaton gets reincarnated as a snowman so he can play hockey with his kid. This is the movie where a snowman fucking kills people. A lot of people think that's a stupid concept. That's why I egged their cars.

2:00-- Black Christmas (dir. Bob Clark, 1974)

No surprise here, right? I mean, it's the best horror and Christmas movie ever.

It dawns on me at this point that I'm kinda out of movies. I mean, I could add things like Santa Claws, but I haven't seen that, and don't know a damn thing about it. So that feels like cheating. Plus, if we don't get to bed soon, Santa won't come. And I've hung my stocking by the chimney with care and have been quite good this year, so there's no way I'm missing out on this year's Christmas booze and porn. So at this point, I'm kicking everyone out so I can get some sleep. No hard feelings, I hope.

Defending the family name

It's been amusing to watch the Jamie Lynn Spears saga unfold from a distance. I'd like to say that I'm only interested because of the shared name and other coincidental similarities between my family and hers, but that's only what got me in the door. Now I'm hooked because this is a perfect example of watching reporters and editorial writers not know what to do with an entertainment type who doesn't follow expectations.

Jamie Lynn is certainly not the first teen actress to wind up pregnant, but she is the first in recent memory to come out publicly with the pregnancy. (Of course, I don't follow these things, so there could be another one right now and I wouldn't know it, but hey...) Atrios has pointed out that there's some considerable slut-shaming going on as a result of Jamie Lynn's decision to carry the pregnancy publicly. I wish it were a surprise that it's happening, but it isn't. After all, her older sister's stock-in-trade was the teen virgin/whore act, and when it came out that Britney wasn't as pure as her publicists had made her out to be, it was greeted with a giant "meh," largely because Britney was well into her meltdown by then.

But when this has happened before--and it surely has--then either the actress must have disappeared from public view for a while, her career effectively over, or had a quiet abortion and soldiered on with her career. That's what's expected, right? She's only 16, after all, which makes this borderline illegal, depending on the age of her partner, and there's no career upside in taking this public.

And yet she has, which means that the entertainment news is confused. And I like it that way.

And some public good could come out of this. After all, it's not like she's the only teenager having sex--this might spark a good public discussion about teen sexuality, and how someone with all the advantages, with no reason to engage in risky sexual behavior, would still do so. I doubt we'll have that discussion, because it's not salacious enough, but it would be a nice one to have.

Sorry Fineman









Go. Read.



Sad News

In whole, without comment:

December 19, 2007

Kucinich’s Brother Found Dead

Filed at 3:48 p.m. ET

CLEVELAND (AP) -- The youngest brother of Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich was found dead at his home Wednesday.





''He was very close to Perry and he's taking this very hard,'' Laber said.


A Democratic rival, New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, offered his condolences to Kucinich and his family. ''Barbara and I will keep your family in our thoughts and prayers,'' Richardson said in a statement.

Yep, we're still dealing with this
Jena is back in the news, on a much smaller scale than before, but for a couple of reasons. First, from Feministe, the news that Mychal Bell, the one member of the Jena Six known to have had a criminal record before the incident that sparked all the controversy, has, as a part of his plea deal, been told that he may have to testify against the other five, which likely means jail time for the others. As I've written before, I think the only solution to this issue is to drop all the charges against everyone involved. This became a problem because the white power structure in Jena refused to take a stand against the racist actions of their youths, thereby siding with them. If the city had stepped in when the nooses had first appeared, maybe this doesn't escalate, and if it had, it would be easier to assess blame in the matter.

And there are goups looking to exploit the mess that Jena has come to symbolize.

JENA, Louisiana - A white separatist group planning a Martin Luther King Jr. Day parade next month in Jena is suing the town, claiming officials are violating the Constitution by asking participants not to bring firearms, changing the parade route by one block and requiring the posting of a bond.

The Nationalist Movement filed the federal lawsuit Dec. 14 and is seeking a temporary restraining order to keep the town from interfering with the Learned, Mississippi-based group's "Jena Justice Day" rally. Group officials claim the town's rules violate their 14th Amendment rights under the U.S. Constitution to due process.

This actually dovetails nicely with the discussion we've been having about tolerance below. My belief in a strong First Amendment requires that these people be given the same space that the protesters in support of the Jena Six were given--but it doesn't require me to give them anything more than that. And it's curious that a group which is asking to return to a day of openly segregated schools (including at the University of Mississippi, which sports perhaps the most racist mascot in the nation) is also asking for "no noise from hecklers." No no, sir. You have the right to spout your hateful drivel, but the locals have the right to shout you down if they are able. That's how this freedom thing works.

It looks like Mayor McMillin, a man who hasn't been the most supportive of racial harmony in the past, is trying to take a fair, middle ground in this case, which is good. It's a start, and maybe he's learned something from this debacle. I hope so, because that's the only way the issue of racism is going to change--white people in a position to have an effect have to stand up to their fellow whites and say "enough is enough." It won't be easy, and it won't happen quickly, and in fact, it may not happen at all, but if it's going to happen, that's where it has to start.

Stuff Worth Readin'

So I just finished Bridge of Sighs, and I just started Bill Bryson's new biography of William Shakespeare (it's a slim little volume, and I'm stretching before reading the much longer biography I'm really looking forward to) . I typically despise Bill Bryson-- what others call his "wit," I call his unwarranted smugness and self-satisfaction-- but so far his Shakespeare book is surprisingly inoffensive (mostly because he's wisely chosen to keep his own personality out of the damn thing, I suspect). Still, I've only read the first chapter-- there's plenty of time for Bryson to rant and rave about how stupid other people are or to make fun of fat people-- two of his less endearing rhetorical tricks.

Still, I'm reading a lot online today, and figured I'd point out some of the more interesting stuff I've encountered.

SJ tells us that her sister is raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. This is an important and worthwhile cause, obviously-- they do a lot of work to raise money not only for research, but also to create programs for patients and their families to improve their quality of life. So toss a few dollars her way, if you can spare it.

Jeff Fecke makes me laugh at Jonah Goldberg's utter stupidity. Okay, granted-- that's an easy thing to do. But Jeff's still a great writer with an insightful mind, and we should all thank him for taking a gander at Jonah Goldberg's... ahem... "book," so that we don't have to.

The AV Club has a list of the worst movies of 2007. Turns out Norbit wasn't very good. Who knew?

I can't decide if Rupert Everett has lost his mind, or is the most honest person in Hollywood. Maybe six of one, half dozen of the other? He seems like a remarkably unpleasant man (and has seemed that way even since My Best Friend's Wedding), but really-- what is the fundamental difference between Robert Downey, Jr. and Brittney Spears's substance abuse problems? Why is one a tragic national treasure, and the other the subject of scorn and cruel jokes?

And there's still one more day to vote in This week's Ethical Exhibitionist Poll-- What's Your Favorite Print Literary Magazine? So far, The Missouri Review and Fourth Genre are battling it out. Funny thing-- I know I voted for one of those two, but I can't remember which.

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