Richie Not-So-Rich

Story Sent in by Tara:

I wore a small piece of costume jewelry on my date with Jerry. It was a little ring with a fake emerald. He saw it while we were out at a jazz club and asked me, "Are you rich or something?"

I said, "No. It isn't real."

He smiled and said, "So you're from the poorhouse?"


He said, "You're either one or the other. Which will it be?"

I was going to ask him what he was talking about, but then he grabbed my face with both of his hands and said, "What you choose now will be your choice for the rest of your life."

I brushed his hands away and said, "It was a gift."

"And was the person who gave it to you rich or poor?"

I asked him, "Why does that matter?"

"The people who a person associates with tell a lot about a person. Like if your friends are poor, you probably are."

I said, "So by hanging out with you, I'm judgmental and obsessed with money?"

He grinned. "Money's a great thing to be obsessed with."

"Even when it costs you a girl's interest?"

He shrugged. "Only poor girls don't like me. Jealous of my money and power." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of... pennies. Yes, pennies. He let them rain down upon the table like they were gold doubloons. He winked at me, then scooped them all back into his pocket.

At the end of the night, this "rich" guy asked to go Dutch. And asked me to spot him bus fare. And was upset when I refused him said bus fare.


What's a hapersnok? We're not sure, but ABCotD fan Rinny is making a film about them. Click here to check it out!


  1. No dick, no bus fare buddy.

  2. Rich people don't get rich by spending money on trivial things like dinners and bus fare. Take a note all you poor fools and you too will be makin' it rain pennies on the table of your choice.

  3. OP is trying to get rich through free meals with guys she knows she has no interest in.. :(

  4. What a fucking douche. And no, Jason, that is not what OP is doing. OP is being awesome by refusing to pay for this douche's bus pass. There is a time to bash the OP and almost everyone gets on board. This is not one of those times.

  5. SmallCityGirl, bashing OPs is not merely encouraged on this site, but OBLIGATORY.

    OP is an OP, and thus a gold-digging dinner wh0re.


  6. As in My Blue Heaven....
    Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Are you trying to say capisce?
    Barney: Yeah.
    Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Well don't do it, cause it hurts my ears when you do it

  7. @ Fizziks - For the win with the My Blue Heaven reference!

  8. Hasn't the bad date ever heard of the middle class? I mean a bunch of politicians are obsessed with the middle class. I remember one time my co-worker kept trying to teach me how to say you're welcome in French. After a few times of me trying to say it, she told me her ears hurt so I should stop trying. :)

  9. Wait hold the heroin condoms! if he is so rich as he claims than why does he need bus fare? and why would anyone be jealous of his raining pennies?

  10. yeah fizziks i prefer jacksons, grants, benjamins to be raining.

  11. Or bananas, that would be good too.

  12. I don't need it to rain bananas green green. Cause I got a part time job banana picking! whoo!!! We get to take home any extra bananas!!!

  13. That commercial for bananas would drive me to never eat a banana again, Fizziks.

  14. Also, @ Rinny - yay, a fellow RVA'r!

  15. lol...What a freaking douche bag that guy.


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