Déjà vu

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

I’m in my mid-30’s. I make a very good living in high tech, a field I’ve
worked in since my teens. I could do this forever but my heart has not
been in it for years. I spent five years to get a 3.95 grade point and a
degree in hard sciences and pre-med classes; then applied for/ got
rejected/applied again/ got accepted to a med school in my home
town! After completing four terms I hated it. It’s not what I imagined
med school would be and I don’t think I really want to be a doctor. But
along the way I fell in love with biochemistry. I think I could make a
great contribution to society if I harnessed my techie skills with a PhD
or even a Masters in biochem. But I feel like a failure and have great
anxiety about approaching the same health sciences university that
the med school is part of to ask about applying to their grad program.
Can you help me get past my shame and onto the right degree path?

Déjà vu

Dear Déjà Vu:

No one wants a doctor whose heart ad brain aren’t deeply into the art
of healing. That includes the university that is training that doc. It’s an
expensive and labor-intensive commitment to become a physician, on
both the part of the student and the teachers. Better to decide sooner
than later that it’s not for you. Whoever was on the top of the waiting
list the year you began might have a legitimate grudge. But the school
plans for attrition, and I assure you that you’re not the first person in
their history to change his mind about your career. Write down
everything you feel about being a failure, shame, etc etc etc and burn
the page you wrote on in your bbq. Then focus on the future.


Study the grad program website as though you were approaching
them two years ago. Identify prerequisites and highlight your
transcripts for each of them. Pull together any letters of reference you
got for the med school application and everything else that seems
useful. Then appear (no call or appointment) at the posted office hours
of the graduate advisor. Say you want to apply for next fall, and you
think you have what’s needed. Go over everything relevant. Get that
person excited about you, including your high-tech background and
vision for the future. Then, when it seems like s/he is impressed, say
you have one final question: Would it matter if I had tried med school
and realized that my passion is biochem instead? The answer, and the
person’s face, will tell you a lot. Who knows, maybe there’s even
room on the waiting list for this fall.