Dearest George Lucas,

Dearest George Lucas,

I am sending this up the flagpole and you’re bound to get it eventually. I know several people. One of them has to know you, or know someone who knows you. The world is too small. Perhaps we are related. Look, it’s my 30th birthday in a little bit here, and I am beginning a series of wishes to be accomplished by various people. Now, I don’t care if I never make a dime off of this, but will you just make the following plan happen for me by Christmas;

4 Helmets; Stormtrooper, Rebel Soldier, Rebel Pilot, Darth Vader. The Helmet will be the game, George. You will have both a lightsaber and a control stick. The lightsaber will extend. It will shoot infrared light, from the remotes, into the helmet that both projects a virtual image and immerses us in THX. I want to hear the TIE screaming over me and my R2 Astrodroid. I want my backpack to have jets. I want to feel the weight of the saber in my hand as it snaphisses to life. When I am wrenching on the controls of my A-Wing I want to feel my brain drop to the floor with the impossible physics.

I want to do it with everyone. Everyone I ever knew. Or most of them. I want you to teach kids to read with them. You could probably do that. I want you to Universally Translate for me. You will connect wirelessly to the internet, or a Local System that will project different scenarios. Mostly it will be the ultimate battlefield. You will Pilot and Soldier, Hero and Jedi, battling for the Destiny of the Galactic Republic.

That’s all I want, George. That is all I want. Just call some people. You and Bill Gates sign some deal that says we can all have a helmet. Because safety is important in this day and age. You could also attach it to a treadmill that powers the game. And that would really help me get in shape. Earlier today I was playing a virtual game where I had to RUN to meet the opponents on the field. And I was being forced to run by the remote that was determining how fast I was going. I also flew. It was something else. You can make this happen.

This may just be wishing on a star, but just let me know if it can be done by Christmas so I can start saving my money and sleeping at night. Just let me put on a helmet and battle in your universe. There are none quite like the one you’ve made. With the right programming Virtual Lightsaber Duels could usher in a new age in Swordsmanship. Hope that you and the family are great. Thanks in advance.


Jeremiah TS Liend
Bemidji, MN


Kultmagick said…
I would steal the moon to own one of those helmets.