Friday, April 17, 2020

Oprah's Telequacks

Full disclosure--I've never watched Dr. Oz. However, I often leave my TV on channel two while I'm writing, or deep in conversation with my dog. I've seen Dr. Phil. I find him preachy, whiny and irritating, and generally switch off the box as soon as I hear his voice.

Both Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz were discovered by Oprah Winfrey. I will always remember Oprah as the person who hyped the anti-teacher, anti-union stinker Waiting for Superman. Back then, Oprah assembled a panel of self-styled education experts--Michelle Rhee, Bill Gates, Geoffrey Canada, and perhaps other reformies whose names slip my mind, to trash us and declare charter schools the saviors of humanity.

I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I know a little about the Hippocratic Oath. I know it states, "First, do no harm." For all I know, these guys are doctors of basket-weaving, or aspiring to be Dr. Seuss, but that's not their approach at all. Dr. Oz has now apologized for his remarks, but he made them nonetheless:

“First, we need our mojo back,” Oz said Tuesday night, in a sound bite that has since gone viral. He suggested that some things could be opened “without getting into a lot of trouble,” such as schools. “I tell you, schools are a very appetizing opportunity,” he said, adding that resuming classes, according to his reading of a new medical journal analysis, “may only cost us 2 to 3 percent in terms of total mortality.”

That death rate, he concluded, “might be a trade-off some folks would consider.”

So what if it's your child, brother sister, mother, father, uncle, aunt, or grandparent who's died? It's only 2 or 3 percent of total mortality. So for him, maybe the Hippocratic Oath means do just a little harm, say 2 or 3 percent worth. Hey, we've all got to take one for the team some time or other.

Oprah's other genius, Dr. Phil, says it's just too darn depressing to stay home. People feel bad about it. Since people get killed in car accidents, why shouldn't they drop dead from a virus as well? So let's open the schools and businesses, let the virus flourish as it will, and hope for the best. Of course both these geniuses were on Fox making these statements.

I don't know about you, but I value human life pretty highly. I value the life of my dog a whole lot more than I do the reputations of these two quacks. If Dr. Oz is anything remotely as irritating as Dr. Phil, I have no idea why anyone would want to listen to him anyway.

This notwithstanding, neither of them has this whole doctor thing down. They should find jobs more suited to their talents, Perhaps they can join Fox News as commentators, and let us know, despite all those death notices creeping ever closer to us, that everything is fine,  it's time to carry on, and if you drop dead, it's just the cost of doing business.
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