The Trust-Funders Take Over the Loser Cafe

by Jerry Ratch

It was time to go sit outside in the sunlight with the gang of trust-funders, just to see what was new in the world of high finance and falling stock prices. “So, what's happening with the economy in China?” I asked. And they just stared at me as if I had asked the most stupid question in the world. 


But they pulled out a chair and gestured for me to take a seat, as long as I did not say a thing and just listened to their pearls of wisdom. I looked underneath the table for anything like a paper shopping bag with air holes punched into it, but nope, not a thing. No beaks poking out. Nothing at all. I felt, somehow, satisfied. I don't know why.


“Were you just talking with that loser window washer, with his bags of pigeons?” they asked.


“What, me? No. What makes you think that?” But my face must have grown a little redder than usual, and they kept staring at me, as if to see if I might burst, like a red balloon. I managed to hold my ground. “So, what's up with Greece?” I asked. “Are they going under soon, or not?” When they didn't respond right away, I said, “So, is Russia about ready to rule the world now?”


“Pigeons!” was all they said, shaking their heads in unison. “Flying rats.”


“Wait a minute,” one of them said. “Isn't that the name of that Pigeon Investment Opportunity in China? Flying Rats?”


The murmurs flew out of their collective mouths, and they pulled out their I-phones in unison and got down to business in a flurry of economic activity, while it began to rain showers of gold like glitter all around us.