I recently made a huge decision. A decision which will definitely change my life when it takes effect. It wasn't an easy decision to come to, I've been thinking about it for so long, looked at it from all angles imaginable, playing with it in my mind in so many scenarios. It is a very logical decision to make but logics don't always make things easy.

I always believe that things don't just happen. Things happen for reasons that are sometimes too big for us to understand. Sometimes I think things happen as signs that lead us to bigger things. They don't always make sense when they happen but at one point when we look back and think about it, it always does. .

I have come to a point where I think I've seen and felt too many signs. I've been praying about it for so long that I've become accustomed to just praying about it. It took some time for me to digest the signs, but I am relieved that I have finally understood them.

Still, it wasn't easy. I am lucky to have full support from Shahril. He thinks it's time we take ourselves out of our comfort zone. "How can we expect different results if we keep doing the same things?" - that's what they always say at work and I think it applies here too.

My intention is clear and if our deeds are judged by our intentions, I hope I'll always remember why I'm doing this. Doing something "lillahi ta'ala" (semata2 kerana Allah) sounds so simple and yet I think it's extremely hard to achieve. I'm taking baby steps and I pray that my next chapter in life will be blessed.

Note to self: Someone at work recently said, " If you're climbing a ladder, first make sure that the ladder is against the right wall". I am climbing no ladder, but I am sure InsyaAllah, I have the right walls around me.

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I was sitting on the bed with Muiz. Afiq had just finished his solat Subuh.


Afiq: Mama, bila Muiz nak besar ni? Abang ada banyak benda la Abang nak ajar dia.

Mama: Abang nak ajar Muiz apa?


Looking at Muiz,

Afiq: Abang nak ajar Muiz main bola, main badminton, hmmm… main chess, tapi chess susah sikit la Muiz, tapi Abang akan cuba ajar jugak. Lagi, Abang nak ajar Muiz solat, mengaji… macam2 lah Mama.


Afiq, Muiz is lucky to have you as a brother.


And I am the luckiest mother.