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What To Do When You Get Dumped - Learn The Secret Psychology To Get Your Girlfriend Back: Part One
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Ok, so you've been dumped and no one likes that feeling. If everyone's honest, it's a feeling that makes us feel sick to the stomach. The feeling of rejection is a horrible one to experience. These situations are even worse if you had no idea that it was coming.

So what to do when you get dumped?

Now there's a lot of people on the internet giving advice about what to do when you get dumped. And no doubt you've heard a lot of things from your friends as well. "Plenty more fish in the sea" is a phrase often chucked out by well-meaning friends in these situations but I'm assuming you're reading this because you're not interested in the other fish and instead you want to get your girlfriend back.

What to do when you get dumped - your first move

So not sure what to do when you get dumped? Well first off you want to cut off contact with your girlfriend. You need to do this for the benefit of both of you. From your point of view, you need to clear your head, think about whether this girl is the right one for you. Is she worth fighting for? You've also taken a big hit, like you've been in the ring with Mike Tyson, so step back, take a seat in your corner for a minute, let your team (i.e. your friends) build you back up again. Spend some time with them, go out and enjoy yourself, though do not fall in to the trap of getting drunk and calling up your ex, that will not help things at all!

What to do when you get dumped - be smarter than most men

Most men who don't know what to do when they get dumped will constantly call and text their ex.

From her point of view, if she's broken up with you, can you see that the last thing she wants is you trying to contact her all the time? The more you try to contact her, the further she'll push you away. This will make her think that you're needy and desperate and will convince her that she made the right decision to break up with you. Also, if you keep phoning her, she knows that you're thinking about her and she knows that you haven't moved on. Do you see how much power you're giving her by doing this?

So, you want to be smart and do the opposite. She's broken up with you but she may not be 100% sure that she made the right decision. If she doesn't hear from you, I guarantee she will think about you and wonder what you're doing? How's he coping? Has he moved on? Does he miss me? Has he found a new girl? Did I make the right decision to break up with him or did I rush in to it? Can you see how this works in your favour?

What to do when you get dumped - break the pattern

During this time you want to get yourself in good shape for when you do see your ex girlfriend again, once again we can use the analogy of a boxer preparing for a big fight (though I need you to promise me that you're not going to fight with your girlfriend!).

So, let's start with appearance. You want to be looking good when she next sees you. Now, not everyone can look like Brad Pitt but that's not important. The main thing is that you look the best that you can. So now's a good time to go through your wardrobe, bring in some new threads if you've got the cash - you don't have to spend a lot of money here, it's always worth checking out charity shops/thrift stores as well as EBay. If you're short of ideas, pick up a copy of GQ or Men's Health to get an idea of the possibilities. The idea is to make yourself look and feel good.

The other psychological reason for doing this is to break the pattern! There are certain sights and smells that your girlfriend will associate with you and unfortunately she may now associate those things as bad things! So change your haircut (go to a salon and ask for ideas) and change your cologne.

Now you should have a better idea of what to do when you get dumped and in the second part of this article I'll talk you through making that first contact with your ex girlfriend, meeting her face to face and re-igniting your relationship.

Street Talk


Brief intro: Me and my girlfriend have/had been together since '05, we started dating when she was a senior in high school and I had just graduated HS the year before. She left for college and I decided to move to the city as well so we can be together. 5 1/2 years later, we are still living together and have only had 1 "break" situation occur in our relationship where we had to live separate for about 4-5 months, during that time we stayed in contact and eventually she ended up moving back in. Towards the end of last year we both started going through some major changes, she just graduated grad school and just got her first MAJOR career job, I myself, just got promoted and was seeing an increase in responsibility/stress; I would say it was towards the end of November that we started throwing around the idea of going on another "break. I just thought this was another dip in the relationship rollercoaster and that we would eventually work through it. December hits and she wants to move out, she becomes more distant physically and even started coming home late (blaming it on work). I still didn't think anything of it (stupid, I know), one of my main realizations is that I was WAY too trusting (since I assumed we were both in it forever). Now, onto the question: How do I go about applying these steps if I currently LIVE with her?! I caught her literally in the act of texting the "other guy", something along the lines of "I'm attracted to everything about you". I confronted her about it that night (who wouldn't?!) and she denied it all, until I told her word for word the message that she sent the guy. Now, fast forward 2 months later, we're still currently living together. I'm completely at a loss of what to do, since she continues to tell me that we both need to go on a break and that we both need space; but then we have those situations where we both go out, she holds my hand, she touches my back/body, and we even kiss. At the end of the night, we even sometimes still have sex (which she claims is all because of me pressuring her to do so, really?!!). So right now, I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place; because ultimately I would LOVE to be with her, obviously, I understand how rare a relationship like ours is.. but it just seems like she has already decided to be with the other guy. Now, even if that is true, and we both move out, will these steps still apply?! Cause right now, it just seems like I'm the only one admitting anything and still WANTS to be in the relationship.. she on the other hand, continues to try to be "normal" around the house, but any time I want to discuss "us" or "them" or anything that could be considered a "relationship issue" she will get annoyed and not want to speak with me. I've brought up the issue of her and the other guy, he response is "I don't care what you do, so don't care about what I'm doing". Kinda hard to do and is FAR easier said than done. the more I type this out, the more apparent it becomes... I'm enabling her to treat me like this by not moving out? Right? Or what?! -SleeplessInCalifornia

  about 7 years ago

Hi Ramon, as you've said yourself once you start typing out the words and writing your thoughts down, the answer starts to become obvious. At the moment your girlfriend is in control of the situation and it seems like you're thinking by hanging in there, the spark will just come back and everything will be great again. So what to do? Ok, so we know what you want, which is to get back together with your girlfriend. We're not quite sure what your girlfriend wants as she won't sit down and talk it out with you. However, I think it's safe to say that if the situation stays as it is, neither of you are going to be happy. I would recommend that you take control of the situation and turn the tables on your girlfriend somewhat. Tell her you need to have a quick chat with her, be calm but be assertive and decisive. Tell her that the current situation is clearly not pleasing anybody. Tell her that you're moving out because you need some space and have decided that a break in the relationship is a good idea so that you can both move on with your lives. Once you've moved out or even whilst you're waiting to do so make sure you keep yourself busy. Meet up with friends, develop some new interests and enjoy yourself. You need to spend time apart from your girlfriend and give her the chance to miss you and to wonder what you're up to. Then you can start applying the steps above. I hope this helps. Dan

  about 7 years ago
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