Things people say when you're TTC

17 January 2017

Humans are funny old creatures; when we go to another with problems we immediately try and relate to help come up with a solution or to show that we can truly empathise. Telling someone you're struggling to get pregnant is a lot like when and English person meets an Irish person - there's always a Cousin, Great Granddad or distant Aunt who is Irish and they've definitely drunk guinness at least once. The same applies, someone they know or a friend's friend has also struggled to get pregnant and that makes this person the wisest person in the world and arguably a fertility expert. I know this sounds a bit bitter, truth is I am a bit but 80% of this is in jest so please don't take too much offence at my offence. 

The fact of the matter is that people don't know what to say in these situations but feel as though they should say something whether it be motivational wise or completely nonsensical, uttering something immediately makes the recipient of the news feel better. Unfortunately, it usually leaves the other person in a partially hormonally induced rage. Here are some unfortunate comments anyone TTC will receive once they break the news: 

1. It's when you stop trying it happens. 
There's the typical old tale that when you stop trying for a baby and 'relax' you're more likely to fall pregnant. Granted, stress does effect fertility but telling someone who has been trying to conceive to stop is outright ridiculous. Even if I wanted to stop trying I couldn't. I try so hard every month to push it to the back of my head but as soon as my period due date looms closer it becomes consuming and almost all I can think about. 

2. Maybe it's not your time yet. 
Really, really c'mon I'm a 26 year old woman with a home, career and fiance both bringing in a good wage and committed enough to want to do this also, try telling my raging hormones that it's not my time yet, Pregnancy Police. 

3. It'll happen. 
When? Can you give me a vague idea because this is driving me round the twist. Also, lets face the very scary but unfortunate possibility that it just might not. As heart breaking and devastating as it is it is still a reality that we may have to come to terms with. How long can you keep telling me it'll happen for?

4. Have you been to the Doctor 
This is a comment made be people when you're almost forced into making  a passing comment about the problems. People tend to announce it like it's something we've never considered. Mate do you know how many times I've been to the Doctor. 

5. You have plenty of time. 
Please tell my raging internal instinctive need to have a baby that it has plenty of time - or as in point 2 give it an estimate. There's being broody and then there's the gut wrenching possibility of being broody forever. It's typical human nature that we desperately want what we can't have. 

There's also the awkward people who have no clue what to say, if it's on the phone there will be an uncomfortable silence followed by a quick change of subject from either party. In person, they tend to flush up and become visibly embarrassed this has caused people to literally end a conversation and walk away or, in some cases burst into tears need consoling. Like I said, humans are funny old things and I don't hold any grudges with anyone who makes any of these comments or acts in this way but if anyone needs a future reference a good comment to make could be "that's really shit, I hope it works out for you".


  1. That's really shit, I hope it works out for you. X


  2. I think when it comes to any life problem, not just this I always find it hard to answer. I'm so used to getting advice, that I don't quite like to give it haha but now I know :) 'That's really shit, I hope it works out for you' x


  4. Makes me sad to read this because again I know how you're feeling! Number 3 is definitely something I've started to wonder myself. One day it'll be less painful to think about and other days it breaks me. Number 5 makes me really angry. Since I was a teen I always said I wanted a family and 3 kids by the time I was 30. Unless I'm about to start popping out one a year that's not happening. I know there's times IF I wanted it, but I always wanted to be a young mum. I didn't want to be 50+ when my kids were in their 20's. Looks like I don't really have much of a choice there though at this rate. I have nothing against people having kids in their 30's, I may end up being one of them, but I've never thought going on 40 is the right age. For me anyway. It's like, look I want to have kids and a big family; you have no right to tell me how much time I have!
    Love Hannah x || HannahHawes


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