Sunday, July 29, 2007

The princess and the pee


(Enter scene, about 5 minutes into the voyage)


(about 15 minutes in)


(about 25 minutes in)

Shit shit shit.

(about 30 minutes in, going through downtown Mpls now)

Oh lordy.
Can you?
La la la...
AAAHHHH!(another pothole)


I am an IDIOT.
Pee pee peeeee....


See? I knew you could make it.



vespadaddy said...

Wow. You'll end up as a trucker yet!

Here's a hint for you male readers:



thethinker said...

I do that all the time.

I should learn by now that thirty minute drives are not pleasant when your bladder is full, but I really don't like public bathrooms.

Lollie said...

Now I have to pee...

kimmyk said...

That little handy dandy thing reminds me of what I use to shove down my kids throats to take their cough medicine. I hope they make it a lot bigger cause I'd pee right out that thing.

Getcha a diaper like Elizabeth Hassel whateverhername is used.

I always drink and then drive and realize about five minutes into the drive that I really gotta pee...usually when I'm on the freeway that it kicks in. They just don't put rest stops anywhere like they use to. [it's okay to pee in places like that if you hover]

Sugar Kane said...

Impressive control!

I've actually stopped at a stranger's house before just to ask if I could pee. Sure, I could be walking into the home of a siral killer, but at least I won't die with gas station fungi on my ass.

Nocturnal said...

Definite control, to say the least; good story WM.

Mamacita Chilena said...

ok, this entry was hilarious. normally I read at least 10 entries back in someone's blog to decide if I want to bookmark them or not...but not you. you had me at the pee entry, straight to my favorites you go :)

3carnations said...

Oh my gosh. This reminds me of a story of my own involving another bodily function and waiting at a ridiculously long line at the Canadian border to get across. Maybe someone should put restrooms just before the border if we're going to have to wait that long.

Glencross said...

That is the most vivid (and funniest) description of bladder agony I've ever read. What gets me is how the pain keeps getting worse - you never reach an equilibrium where you think 'okay, there can't be any more water in my stomach now and all I have to do is manage this level of pain'.

Poo is much more reasonable - you can usually negotiate with a poo.

Body: 'We have to poo now'.

Brain: 'Err it's not really convenient at the moment'.

Body: 'Hmm, okay - I'll err, get back to you'.

T said...

One of my co-workers brought me a "Travel John Junior" back from his vacation. It turns whatever goes into it into an easily portable gel.

It's right here on my desk. Feel free to come and pick it up!

abbersnail said...

That is the WORST FEELING. One of the worst fights I ever had with my ex was when he was driving and I HAD TO GO, and he would not stop. I think that was last "this relationship will never work" moment I had before I actually ended it.

That stuff is serious, y'all!

Brillig said...

HAHAHA. I am in awe of your bladder control. And yes, I know that post-pee smile so well. Ahhhhhhhh.

-R- said...

This was painful to read, as I can definitely relate. In my case, I got a flat tire after I was already feeling pretty desperate. NOT GOOD. (But I was successful in holding it, in case you were worried.)

Butrfly Garden said...

I have my routine pretty down. I have nothing to drink before I leave the house, then I drink my coffee and a bottle of water on the car ride in. If I have ANYTHING else to drink or anything makes me even five minutes later, my bladder wants to erupt. I walk a block into work. With that painful, gottago,gottago,gottago right now walk.

Love the rundown, it was hilarious.

Rebecca said...

oh, whiskey, that was HILARIOUS!!!! You describe that painful urgent feeling so perfectly....

EmBee said...

Oh what an incredibly timely post! I wasn't EVEN going to mention it in my blog but... Just last week I had the same experience, except I WISH all I had to do was pee! Mine involved a country drive... 15 miles in the middle of freakin' nowhere with 2 friends in the car and NO, I didn't make it!

Oh and Glencross... You're SO wrong! And I simply LOVE Mamacita Chalena... "You had me at the Pee!" LMAO!

Angela said...

Oh that was so me yesterday. I needed to release a hostage like no ones business.

Christa said...

great post!

once many, many years ago i just let it go in my parent's garage. it was safer than in the entryway and i knew that by the time i got the door unlocked, i'd be toast.

Failcooks said...

I love it when this scenario happens, you finally manage to bound inside the house, and your beloved is aleady holed up in the bathroom. . .

Amaya said...

Holy shit! The concept is cool, but the thought of feeling the warm pee filter next to your hand might freak me out. Plus, what do you do with it when you're done? Rinse it with sanitizer and put it in the glove compartment?

mtom said...
