Probably the shattered dream is what bothers me the most. And my home with its spaciousness and the property!

I've come to this thread rather late and welcome you to BWS, Cubby.

On shattered dreams. Would you consider your marriage as to have irretrievably broken down, Cubby? From your previous posts, it seems to be that both of you have not commenced a formal and legal dissolution of your marriage despite the legal recourse which would allow it, whether the other spouse agrees to it or not. Moreover, you mentioned your husband's reluctance towards it and (you must correct me if I’m wrong), it seems to be that you still bear some affection for him. If the latter is true, could that be the reason why you could not move forward despite having moved out of the family home? And, if such is the case, could the present reality perhaps only mean that you are still emotionally married to your husband despite the physical state of your marriage?

Back on the topic of shattered dreams. It is very rare when any of us are satisfied with who we are, where we are in life, who we share it with, and etc. That dissatisfaction with a “dream” is magnified when taken in the context of family life. Especially so, when we think or feel that marriage has become a failure because it had reached the point when a spouse has become a disappointment with the match we’ve made and three becomes a crowd: our spouse, ourselves and our dream of the perfect partner and “happily ever afters”. IF you are still in love with your husband and he is with you, could you forgive him for not living up to the ideal? Your therapist is right to emphasise in focusing on the good. In doing so, it makes it easier to accept the real person whom you have married, imperfect as he may be. Sometimes, a re-making of our attitude than a re-making of our world makes a difference.

Strange. “A House is not a Home” by Burt Bacharach is what came to mind when you wrote about your house and your visit to what was once the family home. I must be such a sentimental fool.