Toddler sleep concerns: stalling at bedtime

Mum trying to put child to bed

Why does my toddler put up a fight at bedtime?

Many toddlers will try anything to stay up just that little bit later. There's so much to learn and explore that they simply don't want to miss anything! Asking for one more drink of water, taking one more trip to the toilet, or simply getting out of bed repeatedly, are all ways for her to spend more time with you.

Fears of the dark or of monsters under the bed may also play a role in her reluctance to go to bed, particularly once she's over two years.

How can I persuade my toddler to go to bed?

Consistency and firmness are the keys to dealing with bedtime battles.

If your toddler doesn't want to miss any fun, try to make staying up seem less appealing. After her usual bedtime routine, don't allow any more stories, television or play. Instead, sit quietly, talk in hushed voices and make things seem boring.

When your toddler realises that nothing else exciting is going to happen, she may give up and go to sleep. You may have to do this for a few days before she catches on.

If your toddler's scared of going to sleep, tell her that if she stays in bed, you’ll come back every five minutes to check on her. Let her know that she’s safe and that you’ll be nearby. Keep checking on her as promised until she drifts off.

It can be tempting to cuddle your toddler to sleep, or to let her in your bed when she's nervous about bedtime. But teaching her to fall asleep on her own is an important part of establishing good sleep habits. You could also try putting a night-light in her room.

If you’re potty training and your toddler needs to go to the toilet, let her. But explain that bedtime is bedtime, and put her straight back to bed.

A reward chart is sometimes helpful to encourage good behaviour in older toddlers. For example, you could give your toddler a star or sticker every time she successfully goes to bed and stays there. To give her extra motivation, tell her she'll earn a special reward, such as a toy or a book, once she gets a certain number of stars.

As with any sleep concern, you can always talk to your paediatrician or family doctor if you're struggling, or if you have any other worries.

If bedtime's turning into a battleground, get some more tips on encouraging your toddler to go to bed.

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