To the rescue!










The swamp



The need for renunciation





The need for wisdom





Tread here!







Calm the waters







As always, your comments are welcome below.

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Author: Luna Kadampa


25 thoughts on “To the rescue!”

  1. Thank you for your illuminating article. I have been wondering lately if “compassion fatigue” is a valid feeling or if we simply cave into it because our culture says we can and gives this feeling credence by naming it and collectively recognising it as an actual phenomenon… I wonder too, if there is a distinction between “compassion” and “empathy”; compassion could be said to incorporate this wisdom and renunciation and empathy could be said to be when we feel the pain of another so much that it is almost a bodily experience (literally a feeling like ” tugging at the heart strings”). I wonder if what we understand by “compassion fatigue” is actually more like “empathy fatigue”?


  2. Thank you so much. This is beautiful and just want was needed as I have been trying to bring my mind back from the extreme of ‘nothingness’ when considering emptiness. Although the ‘nothingness’ phase zaps your faith, compassion and energy to practice, experiencing it and this article remind me that we need to be so skillful when helping others. I am not there yet woth wisdom but it is wonderful that I have a spiritual guide who is and who is helping us so one day we will be truely skillful in helping others.

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  3. Thank you for the sweet article. It more than suitable to my present Life than anything. May you experience true happiness in this life or reach enlightement soon!!


  4. My work puts me in some pretty awful situations, and it makes me very appreciative of Gen Losang’s heartfelt comment “It can be very hurtful to be feeling pain and to have someone tell you, “It’s all emptiness.” Unless you have high realisations, that pain exists for you, just as a child’s fears exist even if the nightmare doesn’t.”
    It reminds me of the things I hear people say to families I work with, like the parents of a young college graduate who overdosed that ‘he’s in a better place now’ or the mother of child who was shot in the abdomen by a stray bullet that ‘there’s a reason for everything.’ Time and time again I believe that one of the most powerful things I can do in such situations is to remain in refuge and remain present with another’s pain, without faltering or running away: no matter how chaotic or emotive it may become. Such steadfastness can help another person to feel a little less alone, a little more grounded, and hopefully, even a little loved. For me this is an expression of my belief in their potential, and this wish for their freedom is key for me in my efforts to develop compassion for others, rather than stagnant empathy.


  5. not to get distracted, but as you commented re: science and emptiness, there’s a conversation here apparently between N.Bohrs with Einstein …. indicating no objective truths – you’ll find it. How i feel so fortunate with the explanations of ult. truth in Kadam Dharma.


  6. i appreciate the inclusion of Gen Losang’s teaching; the part near the end ” but skilfully reducing the sense that what they experienced was the truth.” is skilful advice; and for myself in daily life too! thanks.)


  7. Thank you. Very well said. I actually wrote to our larger sangha something similar on how to be with people going through a natural disaster.

    Living so near the wildfires here in Northern California, just 15 miles away heartbreak is everywhere. People hearts breaking by losing family, friends, pets and things. Who are we to judge heartbreak. As students of Buddha,
    Je Tsongkhapa and Geshe Gyatso Rinpoche isn’t it most beneficial to meet them where they are?

    Hearing some Sangha members not very skillfully say to those affected by the fire ” it’s just karma” or “it’s all empty” my heart broke for this is not being of help to others and potential more harmful especially if wearing robes.

    Karma and emptiness if actually understood one would not have to talk about it. The mere kind and compassionate actions of the person would be the teaching and refuge needed in the first moments A thousand thanks


  8. Thanks for sharing this, Luna! It is very helpful. We certainly do not help others when we minimize their feelings by going to emptiness before they are ready. Another angle on this is that sometimes Dharma practitioners can go to extremes with their renunciation, so that they are unable to accept practical help and support from the “ordinary” world around them, because they have rejected it as impure. It’s so important to keep our wishes practical – I need help – and Buddhas will emanate as ordinary-looking beings to support me in practical ways. I am surrounded by the kindness of others – not a bunch of faulty, impure beings!

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  9. I do much agree with the comments about being skilful. If somebody is suffering (even a Buddhist) and is told “it’s all emptiness” it can create just more negativity and delusion in their mind, and give the impression of uncaring.


  10. “Also, when people are sharing their worries with me, I try to reduce the drama rather than adding to it, whilst still being sympathetic.” Is it okay to agree with them first and THEN steer it to a more positive direction (even though you don’t agree with them in your heart)? I have noticed that generally my family/friends mostly want someone to just listen and see their point of view. Is it okay to agree with them and THEN present alternatives? They are sometimes also looking for someone to make decisions for them which I learnt very quickly not to do!

    I am also very curious why Geshla advised that when someone asks you how you are, you can tell them ‘oh I have this problem and that problem’ even if you are joyful. I have had a colleague tell me ‘you seem to be generally very happy, its really nice but its sometimes annoying’. I have had another teacher suggest that we need to be having a great time and be happy as that is how we inspire others. Could you clarify how we should appear to others?


    1. In answer to your question, I think that approach can work well — depending on what we are agreeing with. I don’t agree when people tell me about fishing, for example. But if they are talking about how someone hurt them, maybe. Depends on the context.

      I think we shouldn’t overthink how we appear to others, we should just be ourselves.


  11. Thank you Luna, that was very very practical and helpful advice.

    Kadam Olivier said that when we identify with other’s potential, we are blessing them as then they themselves get to connect with their own potential better. When we identify with other’s limitation, its like we are cursing them. This is completely coherent with what you mentioned that we meet them where they are at and help them there, instead of meeting them where we would like them to be which may just discourage them. It is so true that without heartfelt compassion, the ordinary self equipped with intellectual understanding of dharma calls the shots and I have been oh so guilty of that!

    You said: We therefore can “try and not worry”, as Geshe Kelsang says. We are “only trying to help people”, he also says, “so why worry?”. Regarding this advice, I do tend to worry even though I am very optimistic that eventually all beings will attain enlightenment. My optimism comes from emptiness and countless Buddhas working for us constantly but my worry comes from the fact that I don’t know if my mother and father won’t end up in a hell realm. I try my best to get them interested in dharma without pushing but they are so caught up in their lives. They enjoy dharma when they come to a festival but do not seem to have any deep wish to practice. The only thing in my power is to pray and do my own practice both of which I do. I want to have more power in influencing their interests and in routing their karma, in motivating them to understand clarity of mind and emptiness but that is beyond my control. I think I worry because of their limited interest in dharma and the unknowing of their karma. How do I transform that? Do I need to practice patience without attachment to any outcome, that in due time, perhaps in a future life, they will develop an interest in dharma and liberation and enlightenment, and practice and get liberated and be content with that? I understand (at least intellectually) that they exist as mere name in my mind but it doesn’t mean that they are not experiencing suffering.


    1. I don’t think Geshe-la’s comment is referring to that so much as we don’t need to worry for ourselves if we are trying to help others.

      We all have people we want to hurry up and practice Dharma! One thing you can try is to spread it so that you feel the same urgency for everyone, not just your own parents. That takes away the self-cherishing and attachment, and the mental pain associated with those, and makes us more inspired to get enlightened.

      Also helpful is to remember Ven Geshe-la’s comment one year that our mother may well be an emanation of Tara (and our father an emanation of Avalokiteshvara).


      1. Ok, thank you Luna. I will keep this in mind that its okay to worry for others and its not really a negative mind but when the worrying is just for MY parents, there is some self cherishing and attachment there. It could be a universal worry/concern for all living beings equally which can be the same nature as universal love and compassion and hence, not really a self-cherishing worry. Only the latter can cause pain it seems.

        Thank you again.


          1. Just wanted to give an update. I have been teaching my entire family (siblings included!) every week over skype/whatsapp since last October. A year after I was so frustrated that no one seemed interested in dharma, they are going quite deep quite fast! Miracles do happen! 🙂

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