Sure, it's cute when your child wears her ballet costume 24/7 -- but is it normal?

By Lillebaby mini mouse kid and adult carrier

Full-Time Obsessions

My 3-year-old daughter, Mary Elena, became a prima ballerina about six months ago -- at least in her own mind.

She insists on dressing in tutus and leotards every day, performs plies at the grocery store, and gets upset when unsuspecting strangers say, "Oh, honey, you look just like a beautiful ballerina." (Her chilly, stock answer: "I am a ballerina.") She spends her days thumbing through The Nutcracker picture books and watching Angelina Ballerina DVDs; it's a full-time obsession.

I know I'm not alone. Many kids (though, granted, not all) go through a similar phase, whether the object of desire is ballet, Batman, or Barbie. "It's extremely normal," says Michele Borba, EdD, author of 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know (Jossey-Bass). "These are actually some of your child's most creative moments, and you should enjoy and encourage them."

Getting Obsessed






Set Limits -- or Indulge?

The best way to handle an obsession -- no matter how odd it seems -- is to roll with it. Let her walk on all fours like a pony in the house, allow him to wear the cape to the mall, or buy duplicates of a beloved toy. Lisa Chinnery, of Lafayette, Colorado, always made sure her then-2-year-old son James had one of several toy hammers before they left the house. "For about six months, he took a hammer everywhere -- in the car, to school, to bed," she says. "One of his favorite songs was about a hammer, and we had to listen to it over and over."

And yes, the endearing outfit or cute character your child is infatuated with can get old. Megan Cheran, of Ambridge, Pennsylvania, remembers when her son Xander, now 6, went through a Spider-Man phase at 3. "We had to call him Peter Parker when the mask was off, and Spider-Man when it was on," she says. A more annoying problem was that the costume was never off. "He wanted to wear it all the time -- even in the 90-degree heat," she says. "He wore it in the pool, he wore it to bed, he tried to wear it in the bathtub. The thing would stink so bad I had to beg him to let me wash it."

Although it's okay to indulge your kid's whims to a point, you'll save yourself some aggravation by setting limits early. Cheran tolerated her son being Spider-Man at home and on playdates. "He was not, however, allowed to wear the costume to church," says Cheran. "Then he told me that if God loves everyone, he has to love Spider-Man too!"

For most kids, obsessive behavior tends to fade around the time they start kindergarten or first grade. And no matter how odd the interest -- yellow cars, toy rabbits, or vacuum cleaners -- chances are it's a normal, healthy phase. However, if your child isn't developing socially -- if he can't relate to other children or shows extremely repetitive behavior -- it may be time to talk to his pediatrician.

What Does the Future Hold?

Does a deep and abiding interest at age 3 or 4 point to a potential career? Of course, not many kids will grow up to be superheroes, princesses, or prima ballerinas, but their early interests can be a tiny window into their personalities, says O'Brien. "Extroverts are usually creative, dramatic, a bit more out there," she says. "A shy child is more likely to express herself with something more private, like collecting cars and lining them up in a certain way."

Whether your kid grows up to be an accountant, veterinarian, or opera singer, you should nurture and encourage her through this phase of wild imaginings and vivid daydreams. "It helps her learn and grow, release energy, and keep the imagination going," says Borba. "Go with the flow; it's a wonderful, normal part of growing up. And take lots of snapshots because these will be some of your fondest memories ever." Not to mention the knowing nods you'll get from other moms at the playground. Most of them have known a superhero or princess too.

Celeb Obsessions

"As far as kid toy obsessions, I would have to say Cabbage Patch Kids. I had four. And my dollhouse -- I was pretty obsessed with it. I would decorate the rooms with scraps of fabric my mom gave me, velvet for the carpets, new baby-flowered bedspreads for the family, checked tablecloths for the kitchen. I was obsessed with anything tiny that could work in the house."Sarah Jane Morris (Brothers & Sisters)

"I was obsessed with Matchbox cars. You remember Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars? I was obsessed! I collected 250 of those little cars, from mini ambulances to little VW Bugs and Cadillacs and convertibles to little mini Cadillac-type limousines. I loved to go down in the basement and play Matchbox cars and pretend there was a massive pileup on the 405."

Ryan Seacrest

"I grew up on a ranch in a remote part of Alaska. I was raised by a single father and two brothers with no modern conveniences. We had an outhouse, no running water, and a coal stove for heat. I shared a room with both my brothers so, needless to say, 'girlie toys' were few and far between in our household! That brings me to my prized possession: jelly bracelets. I think I got two of them from a lady I babysat for sometimes, and I loved them! They were purple, had silver sparkles, and were made of this sort of insane squishy material, and they epitomized all things that were girlie in the '80s...a far cry from all the dust and horsehair of the ranch. I kept them on my dresser and saved money to buy purple jelly shoes to match. Gosh, the '80s were kind of rough on fashion, I guess!"


"The only thing I was obsessed with was worms. I loved them. I loved digging them up in the garden. I used to run outside after it rained, pick them up off the sidewalk, and throw them back on the lawn so they wouldn't dry up and die when the sun came out. I also loved playing horses. We'd fill up the laundry sink in the basement with water and drink out of it as if we were horses. We'd run up and down the alley behind our house, whinny-ing and snorting. Kids used to play outside in those days."

Jane Kaczmarek (Malcolm in the Middle)

"When I was a kid, I was obsessed with Atari handheld video games. Little blips on a handheld plastic display. I was the king of Baseball, Football, and Racing. That and a game called Pencils, where you try to snap your buddy's pencil in half with your own. I was easily entertained. My kids love Bionicles! They have a huge collection, both old and new. That and a series of books called Hank Zipper. Good stuff!"

Greg Grunberg (Heroes)


American Baby


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