Hello, Libido!

I have a confession to make: its been a long time since I've felt "romantically inclined" (so to speak). A long, long time. Really long. Painfully long. Not that I'm counting….

It's only been 6 months since Peter moved out, but before that he was sleeping in the guest room and before that I knew he was sleeping with someone else and that seriously put a damper on marital relations. I'm sure you can understand. And since that time I can honestly say that while I've missed being held and loved and feeling like I matter to somebody other than my kids, I haven't honestly missed sharing a bed with Peter.

It's not that he was so bad at it or anything – just that it all felt so tainted after all I've been through. I didn't figure I'd feel that way forever, and really, I'm not chomping at the bit to be dating anyway, so it's hasn't impeded me in any way.

Thank God, for Netflix, because my libido is suddenly crawling out of the barren landscape of my life and deciding to sun itself on the rocks of my newfound world. (That's my poetic way of saying I'm starting to miss physical companionship. I'm a writer – indulge me.) I watched "Prince of Persia" the other night and really, other than a delightfully sweaty Jake Gyllenhaal, it doesn't have much going for it. So, of course, I watched it again. And again. I need to stop watching shirtless man movies. I need to stop eyeing the bodice-ripper romance novels that I pass in the bookstore. Most of all, I need to get a life and stop living vicariously through an introverted teenage girl in Forks, Washington.

Is this a good sign? Or is it too soon? I'm not ready to be dating and don't plan to be anytime before my divorce is final, but it's nice to know I'm not totally devoid of those kind of feelings. Now, if you'll excuse me, I just noticed that Netflix has the old Hercules television episodes on streaming video….

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