Written for the following prompt: "Yondu didn't really decide to keep the kid. But every time they tried to offload the kid the kid would somehow impossibly turn up back on the ship. So they started trying more and more violent and eventually should have been fatal attempts to get rid of Peter. Manage Ravagers died and disappeared along the way, including the ones who tried to eat the kid, but the kid came back, the very next day, the kid came back, just wouldn't stay away..."


"It's an easy job", he said, "no big deal"
And to kidnap the kid kinda had its appeal;
Just get him and go; be gone in a flash
No guards or alarms, just pick up the cash
But when we'd pulled off our successul theft
The kid stayed aboard and NEVER LEFT

We tried to find our way to his dad
But suddenly our computer went mad
And wiped out co-ordinates left and right
It's a wonder we actually stayed in flight
We turned the computer off, then back on
And then all the info on him were just ... gone

We didn't know which direction to go
I wanted to eat him - the boss said no
"He's worth more to us alive than dead"
I shrugged and went to eat breakfast instead
The kid pulled my sleeve, and after a beat
I said "Are you hungry?"; he said "I could eat"

He fitted right in, although he was silent
And actively avoided anything violent
He went where we went, and saw what we saw
Learned our ways and followed our law
Still, such a ship is no place for a kid
We wanted him off, and here's what we did:

We landed one day on a friendly moon
Said "Go out and play, we're leaving at noon"
When really we planned to lift off right away
We'd done it too, but there was a delay
Our engine was spewing out smoke; thick and black
And before we knew it, the kid was back

Next time, we gave him away to a lady
Who seemed maternal (but also shady)
We figured that he could be happy there
But we barely made it back up in the air
Before she caught up, and with ice in her voice
Said that he hadn't been given a choice

Enough was enough; the kid had to go
He should have been gone from our ship long ago
So one night I stole him right out of his bed
I wanted him gone; either living or dead
Thrashing and turning, he squirmed in my grip
I hissed in his ear "Just get off of the ship!"

I went to the airlock and tossed him in there
I pulled down the lever to suck out the air
And opened the outer door, looking away
He'd choke or he'd freeze - he was dead, either way
I left for the bridge; I was on at five
They found him next morning - cold, but alive

The kid has the luck of the devil, I swear
He's gone through a lot of things while in our care
We tried to poison him one afternoon
It didn't work; he was plainly immune
We sold him to slavers once, but he returned
The slavers' ship suddenly broken and burned

We've lied and said terrible things to mislead him
We've pushed him around and "forgotten" to feed him
We've left him for days on the landing craft
Once we tried to bribe him, but he only laughed
He saw we were serious; furrowed his brow
And said "I can't leave - you're my family now"

So we are stuck with him now and forever
He's grown; he's witty and fearless and clever
So beware, because if you pick up a stray
Chances are that he's going to stay
You'll beg and you'll scream and you'll threaten and grieve
But he has picked you, and he'll never leave ...

17/8 2014