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Why 'Bachelor' Fans Are Over Asking For Dad’s Blessing To Get Married


Over the years, The Bachelor franchise has evolved from a show about a guy looking for love to multiple shows about different kinds of people on the search for love and roses. One thing that has remained, however, are hometown dates and the cringey conversations the Bachelor has with his potential fiancée's father. He has four of these conversations every season and Bachelor fans are over asking for dad's blessing — or permission — to propose.

Last night on The Bachelor, Colton did what every Bachelor before him has done and asked the fathers of his four remaining contestants for the blessing to possibly propose to their respective daughters. And, like every season, most of the dads gave him permission to propose at the end of the season. Tayshia's father agreed under protest and Cassie's dad essentially said, "Nah."

The whole notion of asking someone's father for their daughter's hand in marriage is pretty old fashioned. I get the significance and importance of hometown dates, but the dates always end with the lead holding his breath as he waits for the contestants’ dads to give him permission to marry their daughters.

These women are always grown adults who are capable of making their own decisions. While it's important to have support from the family of the woman you plan to marry, this whole idea of asking for someone's hand in marriage is outdated. And Bachelor fans on Twitter are over this yearly tradition.

Asking a father for his daughter's hand in marriage might have been necessary in medieval times when a daughter was considered dad's property, but it's 2019. It's silly to think that a father should have any say in who his daughter marries if she is an adult capable of making the decision for herself. There's no dowry on The Bachelor and his potential brides don't each come with a few farm animals to make his decision easier. Some Bachelor contestants don't even necessarily want marriage by the end of the season, but prefer to have a lengthy engagement. The whole idea of assuming a father has a claim over his daughter's dating choices is just ridiculous in the modern world.

I get that the Bachelor typically wants to make a good impression and show respect to each contestant's family and getting overall approval is one thing. But literally asking some of these dads for their daughter's hand in marriage makes it seem like the Bachelor views the women as prizes to be won.

It could be that The Bachelor just keeps the tradition alive because it has become as much a part of the season milestones as fantasy suite dates and hometowns. Asking for a contestant's hand in marriage also allows for tons of dramatic pauses and shifty eyes, followed by commercial breaks, and more suspense before the fathers inevitably grant permission. But at this point in the series, I think we could all do without this particular Bachelor tradition.

Maybe The Bachelor could change the conversation to have the suitor ask for a family blessing to propose, because that honestly makes more sense. It involves everyone who is important to each contestant without assuming that the grown ass woman doesn't have authority over her own dating choices. I shudder to think what would happen if a dad didn't give a Bachelor his daughter's hand in marriage. Would the Bachelor in question just send her home right away because of that alone? If that were the case, the contestant's dad would potentially cost her a husband because of his own doubts about The Bachelor process.

There's a reason Bachelor fans keep coming back for more each season. They want to believe in the love and magic of these whirlwind romances and I totally get that. But there's nothing wrong with breaking in Bachelor tradition to better honor these independent women who put their lives on hold to find love.