Birmingham experts offer ways to stay (emotionally) cool when stress levels start to rise

Chanda Temple By Chanda Temple The Birmingham News
on August 15, 2010 at 1:30 PM

Seems like people are snapping over everything nowadays.

From a flight attendant sliding off the job following a confrontation with an airline passenger in New York to a woman attacking two fast food employees because they wouldn't sell her chicken nuggets at breakfast in Ohio, people are letting their emotions get the best of them.

But, if people calmly re-evaluate their situations when stress and temper levels start to boil, certain blowups could possibly be avoided, according to experts.

Melva Tate, a Birmingham career coach, human resources consultant and owner of Tate & Associates, said it's good if people can examine from where their stress is coming before anger levels start to mount.

She said dealing with stress at home and work, worrying about the economy and job security, hearing depressing media reports and more can be very taxing. When a person doesn't know how to handle such factors, the heavy load could impact the way a person responds to a certain situation.

Tate said there are many ways to handle stress. One technique that works well is to simply take a few deep breaths. This allows the body to calm down and think through the next step to take.

Other suggestions in dealing with stressed living include writing in a daily journal about one's feelings, reading a daily affirmation and repeating that affirmation throughout the day, drinking green tea, finding a way to laugh and subscribe to a joke of the day, going for a walk at lunch or just walking around the building, and exploring one's purpose and what one hopes to accomplish daily.

Everyday at 6:15 a.m., Tate's daily affirmation arrives on her BlackBerry. It puts her in focus and serves as a roadmap to daily success.

"I work at being positive. It starts with starting that day off and reminding myself why do I do what I do," she said.

She also said that people should find an opportunity to decompress at the end of day. Knit or exercise, or listen to soft music or jazz when driving home from work.

She's coaching a teacher now and suggested that the teacher do pilates and yoga after school before going home to grade papers. (Go here for more effective ways to relieve stress.)

"The techniques I gave you are for people who are not being treated for emotional, behavioral or mental health challenges," Tate said. "When you see a severe case of people acting out, it may be a case of them not taking their medication and that should be addressed as well."

Tate said employers and co-workers need to stay attuned to employees and look for early warning signs that something is amiss. Are they short-tempered? Do they complain of headaches? Has their morale shifted from being upbeat to making negative comments about work or the organization? Are they missing work?

Jarralynne Agee, a Miles College assistant professor of social and behavioral sciences and a former workplace consultant to Fortune 500 companies and major universities, said everyone is at risk for workplace burnout if they don't have balance in their lives.

She said symptoms of workplace burnout include: becoming extremely irritated, isolating from the group, dreading coming to work or having a large discontent toward the job, talking negatively about the job and having very strained, tense or adversarial relationships with one or more people on the job, especially a supervisor.

 Agee said people facing workplace burnout should seek professional help such as a professional counselor or therapist, a member of the faith-based community or even someone in a senior level position at work. Alcohol and substance abuse can only worsen the condition.

She added that the No. 1 reason a person leaves a job is that they have a bad relationship with their supervisor. She said supervisors need to recognize their roles and understand the need to have more harmonious conditions at work.

More tips
Birmingham career coach Melva Tate said people can use the "ACL Effect" to address trying situations.

It stands for:

-- Accept the situation as it is.

-- Change the situation if you have the authority to change it.

 -- Leave, if you have the ability to do so.

She said this can work in any situation, including relationships, work and even driving in traffic. She said if a person knows there is always going to be a traffic jam at a certain point around a certain time of day, they may want to make a point to leave earlier or find another route.

She added that sometimes stress is temporary. But, if a person continues to be stressed day after day, they should seek professional help. Signs that stress may be affecting the body include: nausea, hair loss, inability to sleep or having a short temper.

She said that most companies have an Employee Assistance Program that allows workers to talk to professionals. She said most people can't leave their job or change a situation and what EAP will do is help employees accept what's going on and show them how to deal with their situations.