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Here's My Morning

 Well, I get up at 6 am because my clock says 7 am and the alarm goes off. I realized my clock is an hour ahead when all the other's in the house say 6am! I don't head back to bed. I make coffee and my husband gets out of bed as well. I accidentally woke up my 4 year old so he's out of bed and ready to make demands. He then starts trying to wake up the other two kids. My husband decided to wake up the other two kids by singing a silly song aloud to them in their room. I roll my eyes and think this is too damn early to start with so much already. I just smoke and drink my coffee on my patio, escaping. After the other two kids get up it's not long to my 9 and 4 year old fighting over a shirt with my 9 year old trying to take off the shirt my 4 year old put on which belongs to my 9 year old. My 9 year old chooses the wrong way to go about it. I stay away and let my husband handle it. When I do come into the room to make sure the kids are taking care of morning things I get ugly talk from my 9 year old because he's mad at my 4 year old. So still early in the morning and I am not happy with dealing with being talked to ugly by my 9 year old. I call him out on each time. My 4 year old is grabbing tons of biscuits and making a mess, chasing the animals, the animals have used the bathroom on our carpet. I go outside to smoke again while my husband is inside with the kids. I am under so much stress this early morning and am not happy with it. This can't be good for someone! So my 13 year old step son comes outside to seriously tell me my 4 year old is taking too many biscuits. I tell him to not tattle. He starts to argue with me and by this time I have had it with the aruging, back talk and tattling early this morning. I reached my breaking point and harshly fussed at him about tattling and came inside to look at the biscuits that needed such great attention. There were about 10 biscuits left which were in fine condition. I turned to my step son and asked if someone was being hurt? Was someone hurting another person? Is property being destroyed? His answers were no, so I said then don't tattle. It was apparent that this made him angry with me. I let my other two kids know that the ugly talk and arguing will stop. That if they talk ugly to me or each other, to expect to spend time in your room alone. I snapped this morning and fussed with harshness and now I feel like ****. My husband thinks I am over reacting, yeah, it's called stress!!! I just want to be by myself for a while. I am with kids 24/7 no baby sitters, no family near, no friends to take the kids regularly. Yeah, it's builds up and I get to the point where I've had enough! I feel like such a crappy mom when I finally break down and yell and tell the kids how it's going to be. I never name call or degrade, but I have a hard upset tone that makes me feel like **** afterwards. This just sucks!

iambeautiful iambeautiful 31-35, F Sep 26, 2008

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