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Adwatch: why nonsense makes sense

This month we tackle the big questions: just what is Cravendale? Is a pheasant rodeo funny? And how much of a gourmet is your dog?

As an industry, advertising loves nonsense. It's the creative's trump card. Give an agency a duff product with no discernible USP, and they will give you a commercial so leftfield, so zany, so at a tangent to the item in question, that it will immediately become a talking-point in pubs and playgrounds across the land. Probably.

As a tactic, I'm not sure it works. Such adverts are divisive and they generate debate, but do they actually convey information? For instance, for every opinionated YouTube user who thinks Cravendale's adverts are, "Totally lick! Best advert eva, M8!!!", there is a Guardian blogger genuinely mystified as to what Cravendale actually is.

OK, obviously, I know it's milk. On occasion, caught out, late-night, I've even been forced to buy some. But what's the score with it? Last time I looked, milk was pretty much the perfect product. How do you improve on that? Well, it turns out that you "finely filter" it for no discernible reason, and to no discernible improvement in taste, in order to convince idiots that it isn't just milk, but an 'added value' brand - a designer handbag of dairy products.

Not that everyone gets it. Indeed 10 people - and, no, I am not making this up - complained to the Advertising Standards Authority that Cravendale's advert, in which a cow is stripped of its black patches in order to indicate its purity, is racist. The ASA cleared Cravendale - industry opinion over at Campaign magazine is one of bemusement - but the debate, if you can call it that, rumbles on, on YouTube.

Britvic's Drench Juicy is another nonsense product with a similarly mystifying ad campaign. Except, where Cravendale's spots at least leave a trace of curiosity, the Drench 'Pheasant Rodeo' is just rubbish.

The company feels that this:

"Impactful advertising campaign will excite and intrigue consumers and demonstrate that Drench gives you the tools to stay hydrated and perform at your best."

They are emphatically not trying far too hard (giant pheasants! inbred rodeo hicks! big-lunged rave anthem!) to distract attention from the fact that Drench Juicy is just spring water with some fruit juice in it. You know, like a posh cordial. That you could easily make yourself at home.

It's a curious way to sell things, though, isn't it? Creating marketing campaigns not around the product but around whether or not you 'get' the advert. It's so personal, so unscientific. Back over at Campaign, for instance, one Corn Flake is aggrieved, viz. the original Drench advert, that "a bucking pheasant just isn't as funny as a dancing puppet", and who could disagree? Meanwhile, out on the streets of wherever this Brand Republic vox pop was shot, opinion is typically split.

Personally, apart from the fact that we should all be boycotting Coca Cola, this makes me smile, a lot.

It's an electro barrel organ, powered by demonic hamsters. What's not to like? It's like some lost Vic & Bob sketch; a genuinely surreal bit of comic fantasy. But I bet you hate it, right?

Likewise, while we're on the subject of Nonsense Adverts: Subsection 5.3a - Keyboard Based Humour, I should also mention this, from John Shuttleworth and Yorkshire Tea.

It wasn't of course, but it looks like it was made for a fiver, which is endearing in itself. But, more than that, it's pitched perfectly. Sheds, broken washing lines, a British fondness for builder's tea. It all fits and it has charm, unlike the current Rowntree's Randoms campaign.

Not only are Randoms a shameless attempt to cash-in on Haribo's discovery that naff jelly sweets are surprisingly popular with adults, but the campaign - with its 'wacky' adverts, and its painful co-opting of club slang ('random' was Mixmag-speak long before it passed into general usage) - makes me squirm in embarrassment for them. Satisfyingly, over on snackspot.org.uk, the hardcore are still supporting Haribo.

Not that any of the above even comes close to the most bewildering advert of the month. Step forward, Pedigree, whose "Good Honest Food" ad reassures dog owners (and anyone who has ever eaten a dog food butty for a bet) that all their meat is traceable back to the farm. Yes, that's right. Traceable. Back. To. The. Farm. Meat. For dogs.

Fellow foodies, I can't help but think we're responsible. We bang on about provenance and this is what happens. Are you ashamed? Or are you still trying to work out what the deal is with Cravendale? Has anyone double blind taste-tested Haribo against Randoms yet? And has anyone ever laughed so hard at a giant rodeo pheasant that it's compelled them to buy some fruity water? Come on, don't be shy ...

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