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Feeding fussy children

Vanessa Thorpe considers the challenge of feeding fussy toddlers and seeks your help

Reading today's Guardian feature on how to feed picky children struck a chord with me as the mother of two under fives who sometimes has a tough time getting them to eat healthily.

The thing, I think, that tips you over the edge is the moment when, flushed and optimistic, you glide out of your kitchen with a plate of organic mush that has taken a panicky half hour of peeling, chopping and steaming to prepare, only to see it tipped gleefully on to the floor.

It doesn't help that you have seen this scene played out in a succession of sentimental family movies or read about it a dozen times in jovial advice columns: it really is depressing. It is an effective piece of emotional rejection and on a bad day it even looks like deliberate passive aggression on the part of the small person involved.

What makes it worse is the roaring trade in cookery books about coaxing your child to the table with teeny weeny hand-prepared morsels and home-cooked bakes.

Babies seem fairly happy to try anything at first, but as soon as they start sitting up, naming things and giving the appearance of enjoying upsetting their parents, the business of eating becomes potentially highly-charged.

There are a few things I have tried that, if they don't always work, at least don't seem to make the situation worse.

The first is blending cooked veg into pasta sauces and pizza bases. If your child has been weaned on to garlicky flavours this works because they can't taste the difference, but you still run the risk that a fleck of visible green will put a three-year-old off the entire dish. The other tactic is simply to lie (and not to feel bad about it). "Broccoli makes you run faster", is one of my personal favourites.

I would argue against giving in to a choosy toddler's demands for two big reasons. First, when you are hungry and in a hurry you often end up eating the same as your child and a undiluted diet of sausages and baked beans means you can't enjoy the odd cooked breakfast treat like you used to.

The second reason is that a child's tastebuds are more fickle than they know, so you have to give them the opportunity to change their mind. The annoying advice to carry on serving things they have rejected can have results, I think, particularly if they believe you are not looking.

I now give equal importance to everything on the plate and don't make a big deal about the healthy element of the meal. I find this lightens the mood - and eating together at table is something I am trying to do a bit more too. Has anyone else won any minor or major teatime victories with any other tactics? If so, do share them.

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