Sydney Morning Herald Online

Home   >   Opinion   >   Heckler   >   Article

Divided by a common language

February 4, 2004

Printer friendly version Print this article
Email to a friend Email to a friend

Mark Maccallum, an Australian living in Barcelona, breaks through the language barrier.

There are few situations more certain to cause confusion than two people of different nationalities trying to make small talk at a noisy and crowded party, using their brand new language which they still haven't quite mastered. Here's the exact English translation of what two people said to each other at a party recently, using their faltering Spanish.

Girl's opening line: And where are you from?

Boy's initial response: Well, I met Keith at the language school, here in Barcelona.

Girl: No, I'm asking where are you from?

Boy: Oh, Sydney, Australia.

Girl: Oh, so you would be Fijian?

Boy: Yes, that's right, it's quite very close in the Pacific Ocean.

Girl: And do you have any family there?

Boy (surprised): No, they all live in Australia. I have my two parentals, plus a brother and some sisters?

Girl: Oh, and how many years do they have all of them?

Boy: Andrew, Daniel, James and Sally.

Girl: No, no. I am interested to know when they were born.

Boy: What, my parents?

Girl: Yes.

Boy: Well my father is Hugh and my mother is Alma. She's from England.

Girl: I thought you said she was in Australia?

Boy: Yes they are.

Girl: I would love to visit Australia in the future time. How much long does it take to be there?

Boy: Well, it's very much near 2000 miles from one side to the other and about the same underneath. But most of the centre is dry.

Girl: I hear everyone is very friendly there.

Boy: Yes, I have two friends there.

Girl (puzzled): Is it fine to get work there?

Boy: No, I haven't worked in Australia for five years. I have been at London inside the BBC Television.

Girl: Maybe one day I can visit there.

Boy: Yes, it's a big place and so much complicated. But I have walked around every part of it and I can show you.

Girl: You have walked all over Australia?

Boy: No. In Sydney I drove my car. Most people have ownership of cars.

Girl: Have you been to Germany?

Boy: I was German many years ago . . . but only for a week. I liked it very much. After that I was French.

Girl: You became one of the French people?

Boy: Well, only in Paris. In all other parts, they were very agreeable.

Girl: Why were they greedy?

Boy: I don't know, but the Eiffel Tower is very nice and we climbed alongside it in one of the mornings.

Girl: I have to take the bathroom now.

Boy: Yes, our hotel also had a spa, which was nice.

Oddly enough, this particular girl didn't fall victim to my wit, charm and general repartee. Can't understand why.









Latest news by email
Get free news emails from The Sydney Morning Herald
Sign Up Now!