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POLL Overweight parents setting a bad example?

Comments (79)

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Posted 11/11/2013
I said no. And let me explain. I gained almost 100lbs between when I got pregnant with my son and when I had my gallbladder surgery 16 months later. It got so bad hurt wise I didn't want to move and I wasn't eating much at all. Before my son I was 220 and the only reason I was obese was my thighs and boobs. I walked carrying 20lbs every day between my car and classes. And that was at least 4 miles a day. I took the stairs when I could. It's not my fault that my boobs are Huge. The only way I would lose their weight is a reduction. But I want to wait until after kids so I can bf.
yes I'm currently 302 lbs. however I've lost 45 lbs before baby. And lost 6 since getting pregnant. I eat healthy my son eats healthy. We go out maybe 2 times a month. That's it. The only candy my son eats is dum dum sugars. That is a reward for doing good at speech and ot. Judge awAy.
Posted 11/11/2013

WHY?! WHY with this post?! Personally I think  you should mind your damn business and not worry about it if your not overweight... because I am and my daughter is so excepting of all people she loves everyone, does not matter what they look like.  She loves fruits and vegtables, they are her favorite and she has been average size ever sense she was a baby.... My DH is of very average build and eats like shit when we both go for checkups his cholesterol and bp are always higher than mine. I am probably the reason my daughter always makes the healthier choices.  I always eat vegtables and fruits and ALWAYS have them available in an open container in the fridge so she can help herself when  she is hungry. I really think we need to push body exceptance with our children and stay away from open ended questions like this that often can lead to bullying! We all have seen the tragedies that can arrise from a chid feeling bullied at school!!! Just my two cents! 


Melinda and Matt

DD Lyla 8/07

m/c 6/12, ep 10/12, m/c

Posted 11/11/2013
I use my weight to set an example of what NOT to do. My kids ask me why I'm so big and I tell then it's because my parents let me eat whatever junk food and soda I wanted (true story, they believe everything should be deep fried and covered in gravy).

Now that I'm am adult and know better, I try to get us all to eat better and move more, telling them I don't want them to end up big like me. I still haven't managed to lose weight though, except when I'm pregnant for whatever reason.

MC - May 2002, DS - Dec 2004, DD - Dec 2007, DD - Dec 2009DD&DS twins - Feb 2014

Posted 11/11/2013

I would also argue that there are addictive properties to unhealthy foods. Some of it is chemicals (like flavor additives), some of it is a psychological effect, but it truly is addictive. Changing your eating and exercise habits is one of the most difficult things a person can do. And the fat-shaming culture we live in does absolutely NOTHING to help overweight people meet their health goals. In fact, it can set them back quite a bit by being very discouraging -- self-hatred doesn't exactly motivate you to take care of your health.

There is a lot of evidence to suggest that our childhood diet greatly impacts our lifelong health. So maybe genetics isn't a huge part, but if you grew up with poor habits because of the choices of your parents, is it really your fault that you're overweight as an adult? I'm not arguing that it's not your responsibility to fix, but it's not necessarily because you just make poor choices.


Jessie (28)

Penelope Lane 3/31/2011

Simon Alexander 3/2/2014

Posted 11/11/2013
For those people suggesting that not being overweight is as simple as diet and excersize, I think you don't understand the complexity of weight gain/loss. I gained most of my current weight when working a night job. My eating habits never changed. My excesize habits never changed. What changed were my sleeping habits and my emotional health. When I noticed I was gaining weight I really upped my efforts to eat right and I added another 30 min a day (to my regular 45 min) at the gym. I talked to my doctor about what I could be doing wrong. I kept honest food journals, tracking everything I ate. All I managed to do was maintain my weight. Have I lost the will to keep it up. Occassionaly, but even that hasn't led to anymore weight gain. I am currently 21 weeks, and haven't gained a pound. My son is healthy and happy. I don't make my struggles his. I try to teach him how to be healthy. We don't talk about fat or skinny because that is a symptom not a cause of being or not being healthy. I will continue my personal fight to achieve a healthy weight. I'd appreciate a little less judgemental negative attitudes from people, but I realize that that is not likely to happen.
Posted 11/11/2013

Are we seriously debating about people who have health conditions? No, that is not at all who I was talking about at all.

Saying that is like giving someone crap about not exercising who has a physical disability - I am not talking to those people. Most people in this country who are a little-severely over weight because of a diet/portion problem and lack of enough exercise. Those are the ones I am tslking about.

And I will put out there that I think I set a poor example (at times) with food for my kids. We eat unhealthy items way too much.

Why is it so hard for people to stay on subject and talk about the actual question the OP is asking? And also, just own it. Don't make excuses for yourself by pointing out that others have medical conditions, therefore nobody's weight is a health issue. People want to blow smoke and say some skinny people are terrible examples because they eat crap and drink/drugs. Well, yeah. Of course that's a bad example too. That doesn't make being an overweight parent a good example. IMO, they are both bad examples for kids to look at.


We have 4boys!!! ---boy oh boy---

Posted 11/11/2013
Oh my GUH!!! Take this over to the debate board. So annoying :/ it's like, some people wake up thinking, how can we stir the pot today????
Posted 11/11/2013
Is the lack of exersize and poor diet a symptom of something else? Let's look at the mainstream. The enriched foods add more calories, processed food often add insane amounts of fats sodium and sugars, modern technology makes it easier to sit on our butts, and there are more mental health issues than in the past. I am not making excuses for where I am at. I am just trying to suggest the solution isn't as simple as people are suggesting. Instead of judging an overweight parent, maybe try and talk to them. You may find that you can help them better with encouragement or some other positive way than by calling them lazy or some other nasty thing. Compassion can change the world.
Group Owner
Last edited 11/11/2013

The "actual" question, however is a flawed one.

Is being overweight, the simple fact of carrying too much weight a bad example?  That's like asking "is being poor setting a bad example for your kids" or "is not going to college setting a bad example for your kids."  It's not a simple thing like "is being a homicidal maniac setting a bad example for your kids."

That's why people are getting annoyed/upset and bringing up other points of view.  This isn't a simple issue that has a simple yes/no answer.

Editing to add:  I do not think being poor or not going to college set bad examples for your children.  My dad never went to college, but served his country as a career Marine.  And I grew up poor, but my parents busted their asses working so that they could provide for me and my brother so I grew up knowing what hard work and a good work ethic would buy me.  Because my parents didn't go to college and worked so hard to teach me, I did go to college so that I could have the life they wanted me to have.


I am the Guidelines Police.

Posted 11/11/2013

I wouldn't say overweight per say. People can be over weight for more reasons than lack of excersize and bad eating. 

I would say lack of excersize and a bad diet sets a bad example. 

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