Joke of the day

Joke of the day

Every man needs a go-to joke.

Joke N° 4915
Insurance Policy
Susan called her insurance company one day after her barn burned down and said: "We had our barn insured for $50,000 and I want my money." The agent replied: "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied: "If that’s the case, then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4916
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4917
Toe-Raising Sex
A man and a woman were engaged in sexual intercourse and the man noticed that with each movement of his pelvis, his partner's toes would rise. Later that night, while going at it pretty hot and heavy in the shower, her toes remained still. Confused, he asked: "Why is it that when we do it in bed, your toes go up, but when we do it in the shower, they don't?" "Silly," she replied: "I take my pantyhose off in the shower!"
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4918
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4919
The Barracks Door
The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and polite. One day, while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said: "Sir, did you know that your barracks door was open?" He did not understand her remark, but later on happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new employee. Calling her in, he asked: "By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you also see a soldier standing at attention?" The secretary, who was quite witty, replied: "Why no, Sir, all I saw was a tiny disabled veteran, sitting on two oversize duffel bags!"
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4920
An Old Lady’s Wish
An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when, all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. "Well, now," says the old lady: "I guess I would like to be really, really rich." As soon as she said it, there was a POOF! and her rocking chair turns to solid gold. She smiles and says: "Gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." So POOF! she turns into a beautiful young woman. "Your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh... can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks. So POOF! There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. He saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear: "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered!"
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4921
A Matter Of Degrees
A pair of old drunks were lounging in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand" "So," says the second drunk: "What's your point?" "Well," says the first: "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

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