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What is this compulsion to have people over your house and serve them food and talk to them? What a strange thing


Cheryl: I guess Julia will have to come back over. You'll just have to arrange another meeting.
Larry: Are you out of your mind now?

If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac


Larry: And who knows, you know what? Maybe I'll be able to need a lawyer someday.
Cheryl: Anything could happen.
Larry: A lot of people sue me

Phyliss: I'm finally in the house that Jerry Seinfeld built!
Larry: With his own hands, and some hammers, he actually worked on it, like Jimmy Carter


Larry: What's the guy, four years old? He's got to meet Julia Louis-Dreyfus! What kind of person is that?!
Cheryl: He's a fan.
Larry: What does he expect to gain from such meeting? What does he think, he's gonna go over there, she's gonna be so charmed by him that all of a sudden they'll start becoming friends? They'll talk on the phone and go out to dinner together, go to the movies? What, start e-mailing each others' summer vacations? Is he out of his fucking mind!?

Why are you listening to me? I don't know what I'm talking about


Male Parking Attendant: "The bald guy with the glasses." That's you?
Larry: Unfortunately, that's me

Doctor: What's this?
Larry: A splint. My wife made it.
Doctor: A plastic knife? Were you at a picnic when you injured yourself?

Richard: How can you not help a blind man?
Larry: How can you say "blind man" in front of a blind man?

[Women] can't just have sex with any man, they have to really love the man to get involved with their--with their penis, with their grotesque--with their grotesque penis

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 56 in total

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 1 Quotes

