<i>The Amazing Race</i>: Time to set up the Australia and New Zealand rivalry.

The Amazing Race: Time to set up the Australia and New Zealand rivalry.


What is it?

It's the mother of all reality programmes, the unscripted loins from whence all of the world's cheapest television springs. Ten teams of two race frantically from one bit of the world to the next with a quarter of a million dollars to whoever wins.

Ashleigh and Jarrod in <i>The Amazing Race Australia</i>.

Ashleigh and Jarrod in The Amazing Race Australia.

Our view

This first episode is about setting up the whole NZ-v-Australia rivalry that will be the spicy sauce on this reheated televisual pie.

Thus we meet all the colourful characters that will take us around the world: the Game Of Thrones-evoking blonde brother and sister, the 40-something mums, the bodybuilding couple, the newlywed couple, the creepily identical models, the male nurses that look a bit like they were in '90s indie band the Fauves, the best mate and his second-best mate, and the others.

Inga and Tiharna.

Inga and Tiharna.

It begins with a tug of war in the shadow of Uluru which the New Zealanders comprehensively win. This gives them a time advantage as they drive in a convoy at a sensible speed to Ayers Rock Airport. The first four NZ teams get on the early flight to Christchurch, the NZ besties Aston and Christie miss out and get stuck with the Aussies.

The nurses flirt with the NZ besties on the flight over and the two Christchurch-local teams predictably get to the Cardboard Cathedral first, where departure times are available for tomorrow morning's flight out. Candles are lit for those died in the earthquake and there's an emotional movement before people start rushing madly off again.

The besties get lost and come last, although bodybuilders Sally and Tyson missed the times first time around and have to circle back. Not quite knowing what they're meant to be doing will be a recurring theme, it appears.

Next morning it's off to Rangitata Rafts, 150 kilometres away, and some more sensible driving and a bit of servo biffo over limited map availability, and then rafting down grade five rapids to get their hands on a ring (because Lord of the Rings, geddit?). Most of them do OK, although models Tiharna and Inga come out of their raft. And also leave their ring-half behind, which gives Sally and Tyson a chance to overtake them.

Then they end up at Rata Peak Station for the first Road Block – a single challenge – where they need to stack hay bales with a truck, then pursue a sheep, for the second half of the ring and the first pitstop where the models get eliminated and thus don't get to go to Thailand for the next bit. It's exhausting just watching it, but there's actually something quaint and retro about a show that's so straightforward in its premise.

Best bit:

Aston: “Transcend the pain.” Christie: “Eat a dick.”

Worst bit:

Those tantrums are only going to get worse, you just know it. It's really not humanity at its finest.

In a sentence:

Watch stressed, confused people be hasty and careless in exotic locales.

Worth watching again?

The locations are lovely, but tuning in is largely going to depend on how much you enjoy watching people yell at their partners about failing to read directions.

Next episode: Monday 9pm