Not having sex

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and although I enjoy spending time with him, I am getting frustrated that we have not had sex yet. He tells me that he would like to, but that for some reason he is finding it difficult. This is the first long-term and sexual relationship that either of us have had. He is comfortable with other forms of sexual contact with me, and is also getting frustrated that we have not had sex.

You are already "having sex". The term does not just mean intercourse, but includes your "other forms of sexual contact". Gently explore the exact reasons for your boyfriend's difficulties. Being able to have a frank and non-punitive discussion about sexual problems is essential for any long term relationship. It may even be something really simple (eg he's afraid of getting you pregnant). If he has no problem maintaining an erection, suggest you mutually agree to a no-pressure attempt at intercourse, with the goal simply being one of learning and discovery. If it doesn't work, you will both know more about why. Don't expect him to take full responsibility for entry, try getting on top when he is very aroused and lowering yourself on his penis. If he has psychological issues about intercourse (some men have fears related to past trauma, performance anxiety or other issues), get therapeutic help. Remember that if the sex you are already having is enjoyable for both of you - and if pregnancy is not a priority - there's really no need to rush.
