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Chore List

Reading up on TIH I noticed people having chore list and rules. I will admit I thought it was ludicrous at first. However I understand it now. Im kinda excited to start mine (tomorrow).

Starting off in TIH the hubby has been home from work. I have had him all to myself and loving it. I love the little ways he controls things. Not in a over bearing way. If you understand the lifestyle, then I suppose you understand what im saying.

Were we talking and it dawned on me, "how am I going to feel your control when your not here?" The chore list is perfect! All day ill have a written reminder of what he wants done. All day he will probably wonder how far I got, etc. A way to stay connected when apart :)

I used to write out my own lists. My little OCD moments, plus the feeling of accomplishment when I check it off. Now the accomplishment is greater.

What I like best is we talked about it together. We figured what would work best for beginning this. I was honest and told him, "if I don't slack off, I can easily get 5 loads washed." So 5 loads it is! He's didn't make the list a impossible task. He even made a "just in case of overtime" list.

This only happened once this week. We were to busy cooking and getting the kids ready to head out. I couldn't help but feel a little bummed. I felt selfish that I wasn't getting special attention. I almost didn't tell him this, im glad I did. I realized that if he would've just gave me a task (anything) I would've felt better.

For example: I know I needed to shower but I was also on my phone messing around. If he would've said "put the phone down and go shower, ill give it to you later so we are not late" I would've been happy with that.

So based on how I felt in that situation, im confident the list will work.

Do many TIH wives have list? How do you feel about them? What happens when its not enough?
silencedshy silencedshy 26-30, F 9 Responses Jan 21, 2013

Your Response


It is great you are able to still feel connected to your Hubby when he isn't there through your chore list.

We don't have an official list of my chores, but there are certain things I'm expected to do when I'm not at work.

Thank you skeeter. Well said. (I couldn't post directly under your comment.)

Yes thank you "doms" :) I appreciate that.

Some of you already know me from a few of my posts. I'm silencedshy husband and I enjoy reading the relevant comments you all leave. I just don't understand why someone who isn't involved in any of the groups we're in leave rude and uncalled posts. I understand that other people on the site can read and leave post to stories. BUT if they don't agree or are just posting comments to get a rise out of someone then thats uncalled for and they should just stop. The other day I read a story that was posted by a group member that is very relevant to this post. So I know I'm not the only one who finds this pointless and a waste of time....youneeda

It's a discussion forum, mike. So, good, then we both just 'don't understand'. lol

You are now flagged!

Thank you hubby

I don't have a list, per se...just a mutual understanding of how things ought to be in our home. If I am off track in meeting certain expectations, he suggests improvements he would like to see. If I am neglecting things due to laziness or disregard for instructions, I would likely be disciplined. In terms of feeling he is "in charge" when he is away, we use certain rituals and practices to ensure I stay emotionally centered and mindful. Plus, if he ever feels like he wishes to assert himself, even while some distance away, his request is only a phone call or text message away...and he 100% certainly gets what he wishes (usually a physical expressing submission, and a photo to share it with him properly). Works for us!

that would work for us except he is not allowed to use the phone at work unless its an emergency. What rituals do you do? If you don't mind me asking?

We have a ritual for how I greet him when either of us arrive home. Whenever he returns (or I come home to him) I always greet him the same way. First, I kiss him, symbolizing love and my feminine nature. Then, I kneel and kiss his **** through clothing, symbolizing my yielding submission in his home to his rule. He then assists me with a slight hand lift...showing his authority, power, and protection. I love this basic and defining ritual. It is us. I have another used when I get up each morning, showing my submissive obedience to his authority and rules. There is another for coming into the bed, demonstrating my sexual submission and desire to be pleasing in his eyes for however he might wish to use me. There are others involving requesting permission to do various activities. I also make sure he is mouth-cleaned whenever he is home and has to pee. His ***, for me it is simple... in my mouth: swallow. In my ****: drip, scoop, lick, swallow. In my ***: slip it off and suck it out, swallow. On my ****: finger it up, swallow. Simple rule: he ****, I swallow. Works for us. After sex...I clean him up however he wishes, he relaxes, and I take care of toys, implements, towels, lights, lube, etc. Then, I reenter bed if we were there (same ritual). They are all so natural to me...I don't even think about them. There are many others when he is away too. Just things that keep me centered. Write me directly if you wish to understand more...very open to sharing and helping wherever I can.

Ok thank you. Ill message you This week.

No chore list. We have an agreement which chores are rather for women and which are more for the man. But we help each other most of the time.

Before today we had that. But never really discussed. I don't cut the grass but I will rake the lawn while he's doing the hedges. He normally does the trash but ill help occasionally. He does pitch in a lot. We havnt not set up rules and I honestly don't know if we will. That would be up to him.

I don't have any and I must admit this is a pending issue for us. I work outside home, so we share chores, but it's chaotic. We haven't come to an agreement as to who does what, you know. Sometimes I feel like doing nothing and the house gets messy, then he gets upset and just can't do a thing (he's a mild case of OCD ) So I end up with a mountain to clean, I just don't let him help at all and my mood collapses. Only then he's able to take control again... meaning things get done and my butt gets sore.
I'm trying to keep pace on the house but things would be so much easier with a list or something! But my husband doesn't like those. He says I'm smart enough and that his only rules are respect and obedience ... As I said, pending issue!!!

Maybe he should make a list. Regardless of him not liking it, it would keep you on task. That way there is always something done and it saves a sore behind. I love cleaning personally but I get off track not finishing tasks (occasionally).

I don't know. We're just starting out. I just figure this way I get things completed and if I do my list then there is no way he can be disappointed in me. He even set up a bonus thing that if I do something unexpected ill have something unexpected happen for me!! I think its sweet and just another way to stay connected and lovey dovey. Lol its creative and im glad he's putting so much effort into this

I don't have a list exactly but I think the fact that I gave my Husband the authority to check up on me means that I always have that on my mind anyway. If I did slack off, I know I would be disciplined. My Husband will also phone me during the day to check how I am.

I would love a check up call. Just because I love hearing from him too. But his job dosnt allow calls unless its an extreme emergency :(

Maybe you could devise a job rota for each day of the week?

We discussed the chores. And he said every week he will change it up a bit. Until. I get the hang of things. I clean but normally on my own schedule and what I feel like cleaning. This helps me be consistent and things kept up with.

how often is the chore : "get over here and blow me." ?

Lmao. Well I don't have a chore like that. I enjoy doing that for him and wouldn't like it to be looked at as a chore. You definitely shocked me there. Wasn't expecting to see that. Haha

Silenced, I'm glad I shocked you! Nice response, thanks.
What surprises me is that, over a dozen years into this new century , there are still so many people living as if it
is still 1941 ! And that women put up with that thinking! But, if you are happy, go for it. I guess.

And, don'tbugme-- Oh, you are married to an Italian, huh? lol.

I never said he asks I said its not a chore. Lol. Holy crap, he points and snaps? I don't know if I would be offended or just laugh. Lol

Are you saying you don't agree with this lifestyle?

Since you asked, I guess I am just used to more liberated, modern women. Is there a fundamental religious underpinning into that lifestyle? My comment to you was benign;read my final sentence. I don't have to 'agree'.

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Thank you for your responses. I am not currently working. Our kids are all day school. My houses isn't as a clean as I would like. Im more the control freak and some days over due it. Some days I get so annoyed that that I simply give up. We have 2 dogs as well and they are a handle and messy. My husband isn't a control freak or anything. Im sure part of him likes giving me tasks bowing he will come home to certain things done everyday. But he's more doing it to satisfy me. I feel ill be less stressed when he gets home. I don't know. Trial and error is how you learn, right? We shall see. :)

Ty me too :)