Pass notes No 3,160: Poundstretcher

The famous discount chain is opening up in Dubai
Poundstretcher - coming to an Arab Emirate near you
Poundstretcher - coming to an Arab Emirate near you. Photograph: Graham Turner

Age: 31.

Appearance: In an Arab emirate near you.

Come again? Poundstretcher is moving to Dubai.

Dubai? Yes. Dubai.

As in the surrogate home of Gucci, Jimmy Choo, Chanel ... Correct.

... Paul Smith, Louis Vuitton, and Diane Von Furstenberg? The very same.

The place where there's a hotel coated in 8,000 sq m of 22-carat gold? Yep. Still Dubai.

Blimey. What were they thinking? Well, Dubai is not exclusively populated by oil-rich sultans or tourists with cash to splash.

No? No. Who do you think builds the skyscrapers?

The sultans? No, the immigrants mostly. In fact, only one in five Dubai residents is a native Emirati. The rest are mostly from the Asian subcontinent – and they're the ones who do the city's dirty work.

Which means what? Which means that Dubai is home to rather a lot of labourers, most of whom can't afford the latest Vuitton handbag.

But who might be interested in 27 Penguin biscuits for a knockdown £1.99? Exactly.

Or 25 cans of Pepsi for under a fiver? Yep.

Or a Hyundai 1,600W vacuum cleaner for just 30 quid? Indeed. Except the Hyundai's a bad example.

Yes? Yeah, the Hyundai has a technical niggle, so the whole batch has been recalled.

Question. Fire away.

Does Dubai actually have any pounds to stretch? No, but it does have dirhams.

So will Poundstretcher change its name? Apparently not.

And the slogan, "Every penny counts"? Again, no.

So won't it be lost in translation? Parsimony is a universal concept.

If you say so. Well, they seem to understand it in the Gulf. After Dubai, Poundstretcher is looking to hit Qatar and then Abu Dhabi.

They're unstoppable. One more thing, then. Yes?

What's the difference between Poundstretcher and Poundland? I'm glad you asked. Poundland is the bargain retailer where everything costs a pound, and where jobseekers have been forced to work for free.

And Poundstretcher? It's the bargain retailer where everything is just a bit cheaper than usual.

Do say: "Every dirham counts."

Don't say: "And where's your Gucci counter?"