What Has Two Thumbs and a Boatload of New STD's?

Seems like every paper in town is trying to ruin our morning: We're fairly inured to disgust at this point, but there still is a list of things that we'd prefer not to read about over our cornflakes. Very high on that list are: rumors about Courtney Love's sex life; anything with the byline "Michael Wolff"; and rumors about Mario Batali's sex life. Today Ben Widdicombe goes two-for-three in one item:

Celebrity chef Mario Batali has been enjoying la dolce vita this summer, with late-night drinking sessions at the Spotted Pig.

During one recent bacchanal, which lasted almost until sunrise, the red-headed restaurateur told his companions he was leaving to "drop in on Courtney Love."

"He said that he 'often' drops in on her," said our man with the big ears.

We're going to dispense with all the obvious bits here (except the vomiting, which we've already done) and ask a serious question: How drunk does one have to be to not only admit that you're off to fuck Courtney Love, but that you've been fucking Courtney Love on a regular basis? Also, thank God the guy doesn't do the actual cooking at any of his restaurants anymore; we don't think we could ever eat anything he's touched again.

Chef Batali workin' on a side dish? [NYDN]