OMG this actually just happened

Custody aggreement

Posted 01/22/2009

In reading some posts, I have seen that a lot of people recommend a formal custody aggreement. What does that involve? What kind of things do you agree on? DD's dad picks her up one day a week for about 4 hours, but we don't have anything in writing. I have been thinking about this b/c he is irresponsible sometimes, I know about 2 of his "girlfriends" (I use that term very loosely) that he has brought around DD after we promised each other that we would not bring random people around her. Also, if something happens to me, I don't think he could handle being the sole provider for her based on his lack of judgement regarding other things (money, women, overall approach to life). I know he won't voluntarily agree to that, but is that something I could pursue?

ETA: He does have a criminal record. Spent 14 years in prison for rape (he is now a registered sex offender) and two more cases in the past 2 years for promoting prostitution. He also can barely afford to live on his own (I am setting up a trust for her but there is NO WAY I would name him guardian of her estate...he blew 10000 that his dad left him in a month). He doesn't pay CS, never tried to take him, but I don't think I would get anything since he can't pay his own bills and I make 8x what he does. These would be my arguments for him not having custody of her.

Comments (1)

Posted 01/22/2009

I dont know the laws in Ohio, but in Arizona if it was me my ex taking Hannah for those 4 hours without an agreement would not be ok, why? Because the law in Arizona states that the mother has full custody until the father takes her to court, BUT if there are no physical papers to show a police officer the mother will not be able to take the child back from the father until he returns the child. I had this happen with the ex at one point and the following Monday i was in a lawyers office. Now I am not saying its the same in every state but here, I learned my lesson and would never suggest visitation without a court order OR a written agreement.

Again not knowing Ohios laws the girlfriend thing or random chicks thing is going to be a hard one to avoid, even with a court order when he has your daughter he can have whomever he wants around your child, UNLESS, there is one thing you can do that females can not be at his house for certain periods of time at night unless they live with him. Otherwise its a never ending battle.  And I am pretty sure the majority of moms on this board will tell you their exs promised to not bring chicks around their kids and did it first chance they got! ANd its funny because men will promise that shit because they know the mom will not bring a man around cause she promised but same rules dont apply.  Its horrible, i went through it too.

I would google parenting plans in your county to get examples of what the courts look for.  You can download it on your computer and put in your information print it out and ask him to sign it, if he doesnt than I would take it to a judge and have them get it taken care of.


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