The Biscayne Times

Jul 18th
Biscayne Crime Beat March PDF Print E-mail
Written by Derek McCann, BT Contributor   
March 2019


policeman_stopKicked Out, Kicked Back

3499 Biscayne Blvd.

Outside the Pollo Tropical, a panhandler pestered customers and became increasingly demanding. He took his business inside because, statistically, you get better attention from customers while they’re seated and eating their Tropichops. He was asked to leave and told not to come back but kicked in the entrance door window, causing it to shatter. He left before police could arrive and maybe went on over to Checkers.


Not What They Mean by Window Service

1600 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

A man by the name of Mr. Berry had frequented the Checkers fast-food restaurant before, aggressively asking for money. This time he was blocking the service window, intervening in orders. This doesn’t work with folks just wanting their burgers and high-fructose corn syrup. A police car pulled up and Mr. Berry began to walk away, but he was stopped and the obligatory crack stem was found in his pocket.


Music Man, Miami Style

1200 Block of NE 81st Terrace

A landlord rented a property to a man named Gabriel, who had lots of cash. He moved out after his one-year lease ended. When the landlord entered the unit, she noticed that Gabby had made some changes. The inside was now a music studio. The floors had been replaced, a door turned into a window, and the bathrooms were downsized. He had installed soundproof fixtures as well, so no one really knew.


Mental Health Traffic Stall

NE 2nd Avenue and NE 17th Street

Traffic is often challenging, especially downtown. Traffic at one point had come to a complete halt, due to a man screaming, spitting, and, yes, kicking at passing vehicles. Police were notified as more spit entered the already humid air. When they arrived, they saw the man in the middle of the street, kicking moving cars. Police ordered him to the ground and promptly handcuffed him after he complied with that order, then placed him in back of the police vehicle. He was charged with obstructing the roadway and criminal mischief due to damaging at least one vehicle.



7500 Block of NE Miami Court

A man was in front of his home talking on the phone, when two men appeared to be walking toward him. In a swift move, they took his Metro PCS LG smartphone and a hundred-dollar bill he happened to be holding in his right hand. Hey, why not walk out at night, holding a hundred-dollar bill while you talk on the phone, since wallets are so bulky? The duo took off, making a right at NE 76th Street and out of the view of the victim. Police were notified.


Laundry Soap Heist

200 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

At a CVS, a man appeared to be really into the laundry detergent. So much so that he brought a booster bag inside the store (they’re lined with aluminum foil to avoid detectors) and started loading it with brand-name detergents. There was $330 worth by the time he tried to leave, but he had to get by the brooding manager, who’d witnessed the whole escapade. The thief pushed him out of the way and then ran out of the store, carrying his heavy bag. There’s video of the incident. This must have been a busy crime night because the officer who wrote the report noted he’d tried to reach a robbery detective by phone three times but couldn’t reach one.


Alas, No Speed Dial for Phone Code

NE 17th Street and Biscayne Boulevard

A vagrant harassed a woman on the bus, asking her if she had five dollars. So she did what any good Miamian would do and ignored him. As she got off her stop, however, so did he, and he began to follow her. In a panic she pulled out her phone to call 911 but entered her code incorrectly, causing the man to ask, “What are you doing?” This pause allowed him to snatch her purse and get away. She still had her phone and this time entered the code and called 911. Her purse was later found but was missing most of the items.


How to Ruin a Good High

NE 2nd Avenue and NE 18th Street

At 4:20 a.m., it is best to obey all traffic laws. This driver failed to stop for a flashing red light and got pulled over by police in a routine stop. Too bad his car reeked of marijuana, with no time to get that funk out. The officer immediately noticed the odor and saw a tiny plastic tube with the substance. The driver admitted it was his, and he was promptly arrested. In the future it would be best to stop at that blinking light because rushing defeats the whole idea of being stoned.


Another Day, Another Bust

NE 2nd Court and NE 82nd Terrace

On routine patrol in a part of town known for narcotics sales, officers saw a woman holding a glass cylindrical inhalation device, otherwise known as a crack stem, to her mouth. When she saw the sirens, she took it out of her mouth and put it in her right sweater pocket. We guess using the bra was out, as reports notes she wasn’t wearing one. She was searched and crack cocaine residue and the homemade pipe were used as evidence in her arrest.


An Episode of Random Insanity

1500 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

Sometimes things sort of happen. This person had his leg kicked by a stranger, who told him, “You set me up!” The assailant didn’t provide any details beyond that but pulled out a folding knife and threatened our victim with it. The culprit reached into the victim’s pocket and pulled out fifty dollars. He also got his cell phone. There was a witness, but he ran with the victim when the knife-wielding man told them to run. They ran to the Omni and called police. There are no leads at this time.


Is This the New Gig Economy?

2000 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

Man checked his e-mail, and lo! and behold, there was an unsolicited job offer from a company he’d never heard of but which recognized his talent. There was an immediate freelance funding specialist position available and he would only be on probation one week. After a week passed, and it is not exactly clear what he actually did, he received check for $3986, which bounced, and his account was frozen. He has e-mails, texts, and phone calls logged, but the firm has disappeared. He did mention they changed names several times during his one-week probation.




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