November 30, 2009


He married me, and I began to decompose. Here was all the bullshit, all the manure, piled up inside of me. Bit by bit, I began to rot—my stomach had ulcers and acid reflux ran wild. Longing to stay intoxicated in this toxic relationship, I began to drink more and more, pickling my brain into more mush. I cared less and less, the flotsam and jetsam of my life like oily seaweed on a Jersey shore.

Finally, only fit to feed the worms and grubs, I lay down on the earth and sobbed out my heart's lament, my deep discontent, my deepest regret. As my body returned to soil, at last I felt grounded again. A seed of hope began to grow in my chest—seed of release, seed of peace—the seed thought quite simply known as divorce.