Goblin King Jareth

Goblin King Jareth is the king of the the Labyrinthine Kingdom of Goblins. He is most well-known for being one of the most beautiful beings on G-Urth despite being rumored to be a goblin. He is most likely a fairy, but even then his physical qualities equal that of a Slam God more than a fairy. He stands at 11 feet with ravishing golden hair. He has the ability to produce crystal orbs which can create illusions or peer at things through the distance. He mostly hurls them at violent speeds; impact causes them to shatter, and their glass fragments are a pain to remove. Jareth is a enthusiastic voyeur, and his ability as Goblin King is heightened by his constant and impressive surveillance of the goblin horde, using a series of crystal orbs, telescopes, mirrors, and puppeteer-ed goblin spies.

Jareth has the ability to transform and uses it to become a master of disguise. On occasion, he has used this ability to escape into the human world as a barn owl, trashcan, and cigarette. His true appearance is too good to look at, and anyone who casts an eye on him in the human world would turn into a pillar of salt. For this reason, Jareth is also theorized to have taken part in biblical (pre-Slam religion) events.

Because he is most likely not a goblin, Jareth absolutely loathes his position as Goblin King and seeks nothing more than a calm existence in Ohio. His reign as Goblin King can be compared to taking care of an entire continent of toddlers. Despite being king, his regular duties are to replace diapers and sing lullabies to the insomniac goblin population. Jareth rarely has time for his own hobbies which include styling his hair and dressing up in controversial outfits (that no goblin will see the significance of anyway) such as 15 layers of ogre-leather coats, a ruffled shirt over a cardigan, or a loincloth as a neck accessory.

Jareth was convinced to venture into the human world when he felt the first taste of love, a Dark Slam God emotion. When he lured a human into the Goblin World, he fell in love with her hands, and it caused him a great deal of anguish. However, international authority has officially banned Jareth from entering the human world, as he has a love of kidnapping babies whenever someone mutters about their child or sibling, "May the goblin take it." On average, Jareth kidnaps several hundred babies a year.

Jareth hides his heart in the labyrinth, hidden under a rug. To be honest, it's probably in bad shape considering how many goblins probably stepped on it.

In the Land of Dragons, Jareth is a renowned pop sensation known for his hit albums Diamond Dongs, Let's Ram, Scary Minsters (and Super Slammers). He is commonly revered to as a deity in several regions, and is commonly seen enshrined in restaurants and butcheries. In return, Jareth is usually given the tribute of several crates of opium from the Imperial Government so he can dull his mind in times of great goblin stupidity.