UnderCover Waitress: Lazy Waitresses

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Lazy Waitresses

Took it upon myself recently to comb through the Spawn of Satan comments just to clean things up a little. By the time i was finished reading the following anonymous comment, I was giggling to the point that my sides hurt.

The comment-leaver was attempting to enlighten good ole' Springs1 to everything that a waitress must deal with over the course of a shift. Of course, if we screw any one thing up, it could mean the difference between rent or groceries for some waitresses as our judgemental diners get to decide what our service was worth.

I have edited the comment to remove non-relevant material and to fix some typos. I hope the original author does not mind. (If you have the stomach for it, you can still read the thread over at RestaurantCustomer is Spawn of Satan.)

While the comment is funny, it is also, unfortunately, accurate. I thank the comment-leaver for her prose.


...And I do believe the point is you can be a hard worker and still NOT be able to wait tables!

If you have NEVER done what we do, day in and day out, you can NOT speak of constant battle being done, this is like war lady only NOT as serious, however the effects are long lasting, mentally, physically, and emotionally draining.

When have you ever greeted 12 to 18 people within 5 minutes of one another? Gotten drinks, waited for bar drinks, gotten waters for everyone, bread, bread plates, and suggestively sold appetizers. Keep in mind the bar tender may have been in the back getting take out, so that further put a "lazy" server dripping in sweat, in the weeds... Oh! did I mention the bread maker can not keep up, so there are only 6 pieces of bread and 12 to 18 people AT DIFFERENT tables, so now I would like to know what in your expert opinion should one lazy server do?

Please feel free to help anyway you can, or just direct us on the bread problem, and yes it takes about 15 minutes to bake. We bake all day, and when those trays of bread come out of the oven there are 100 more people who are not at your table waiting on that bread. They NEED bread because they will die without it....this is life ending, their life is over if they have to wait for their bread, and their meal is ruined; it's all your fault, you lazy server.

But it's NOT over, no no no! it's just begun. After you get their drinks to the table, appetizers, bread, and bread plates, now you get to take their order, and you better know all the answers! You are only at one table you have 3 other tables with no drinks and no bread and they are looking at you and waiving at you to come over, so hurry up and get over there, or run back and check to see if your bar drinks are ready by now. Hope you sell appetizers to your last 3 tables to buy you some time, but if not you better hope there is lettuce, tomatoes,cucumbers, onions, croutons, and that all of your dressings are full. If not, you will need to refill before you can start on making salads -- yes, honey, you have to make all your salads, soups, desserts, coleslaw, and make sure you have soup cups, salad bowls, and soup spoons. If not, go find your soup spoons first since you cant let your soup to get cold while your digging though the rack.

The list is long and from start to finish there are battles, and the people who put you at ease and treat you the way you treat them usually get it and the have done what we do every day. Having food take a long time to cook is not the lazy servers fault, nor is it a lazy servers fault when it's cooked wrong. It is not the waitress' fault when the restaurant RUNS out of anything.

Think about it, we knew you were coming,and all you ever eat is king crab legs, and 2 dozens raw oysters, take that up with CORPORATE, they make the rules.
And foster the lies.

Now, focus: what happens as soon, if you sold them apps, they are done with their apps?????

If you would like to tell us what we are doing wrong, then it's fair to give a solution which is suitable and can be implemented.

I am sure by now it's been 30 to 45 minutes and hopefully your last table has finished their salads, I hope you rang in their food, B4 -- well B4 -- you brought them their salads. If not, more problems...... hope by then the trout for table 31 is ready, the kitchen has a portion because they just 86 it, so run to the back because the computer wont let you ring it into the system, ALL US LAZY SERVERS, know what needs to be done, what should have been done, and how to do 100 things at once, because we are lazy, that's why things get done, because we're lazy.


Heh. My feet hurt just sitting here reading that. And she doesn't even mention having to bus and reset the tables for the people who are at the hostess stand glaring at the lazy servers... ;-)

For the record, some customers rock, are nice people, and understand how hard we are working underneath our professional veneer of calm to make sure they have a nice meal.

Thanks again for the description, Anonymous! :-)


  1. Damn, that IS a typical Red Lob---I mean, Blue Crustacean shift. It sucks balls. I honestly still can't believe the amount of crap they expect us to do on shift. Running side work, making salads/soups/etc, acting as food expo since they can't be assed to schedule one, and taking care of four tables...each of which involves drink and bread refills every 2 minutes in addition to special requests, appetizers, desserts, etc. Oh, forgot to mention that we have to make our own desserts too. Anonymous nailed it on the head. Unfortunately, Springs1 and others like her don't WANT to know the truth. They want to believe we're lazy and stupid so that they can justify not tipping us. They will not change and argument is futile. I've banned Springs1 from my blog for just such a reason - it's like talking to a goddamn brick wall.

    1. Springs1 is either a first class troll or a nut. Not sure what she gets out of her hobby, and I would ban her but for one thing: people come here to find out about her. Heh.

    2. I really and truly believe that she's a nut. If she was a troll, I think her rants would be limited to servers and restaurants. The thing is, her blog also discusses how angry other drivers make her in addition to other everyday unavoidable things. She's just an angry person who thinks the world is out to get her and she's the victim of everyone's actions. Can't get nuttier than that.

    3. Paranoia = everybody is out to get me. Narcissism = I am always right (among other things.) Highly irrational in that she is constantly contradicting herself. Sad, really. I was hoping she was just a persistent troll...

  2. And I thought I had problems with blogsquatters.

    Blue Crustacean?--I like that!

  3. I wish I could inspire readers to write novels on my blog. Wow! There was only one reader who left a really childish rant because I insulted his favorite movie, Matrix, Revolutions. He was criticizing me because I didn't "understand" the movie. :)

    I thought my rebuttal was very professional and kind. I love those types of comments, because it inspires me to defend what I write.

    1. Funny thing is, this is not a writing blog but my readers have composed some of the best comments ever. :-)

    2. Since it was me that wrote that, and the post/reply was closed to Spawn of Satin, I KNOW she is barking mad, and for her to have the last word blows as much as she does.
      The only good thing ********* is ********** WE don't have to read her bullshit anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Thanks for the props.
      Who sucks more................... Darden or Springs1?
      That is the question, and I think your next topic?
      Either way I may get more sleep, since her sideways thinking isn't coating my brain in RANCH! R.I.P.

    3. Sleep well! It is well deserved. You notice I put comments moderation on for now. Don't know if you can ban an IP address in blogger like you can in word press. Am starting to feel guilty about letting her go on forever as much as I have allowed.

      Thanks again for writing the original comment. :)


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