Caption Contest

July 9, 2007: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

Lionel: "Clark this is murder... Only a little more bizzare"

And the runner-ups:

How Clark shakes hands on "Smallville."

Lionel: *choke* *gag* Your hands... Neutrogena?
Clark: You noticed!

Look, I'm sorry you didn't like me in BATMAN AND ROBIN, but I swear to God I was much better in SCROOGED and GREMLINS 2! And I was the voice of the Riddler! Please don't kill me.

Lionel: Look...aghh..I know I have long hair but my name is NOT Neal Bailey..aghhhh *snap*

Clark: Must kill Lt. Dan...Must kill Lt. Dan...

Clark: D@mn it, Lionel! Tell me why I keep missing the Caption Contest! I've been looking for it every week as usual, and yet I haven't seen it in ages! What have you done?!

(This isn't supposed to be funny. What the hell has been going on with the contest?)

It was up last week. I missed one week for the con, and then another week because I got busy. I have now set up an email reminder for myself, because it's easy to miss on weeks where I don't have reviews to remind me.

Lionel: Your bracelet...what does that say? W.W.S.P.D?
Clark: What Would Superboy Prime Do.
Lionel: Crap.

Interestingly, through the wonders of Hypertime, the 52, and bountiful amounts of anti-higgs and bosons, both Clark and Lionel's bodies are actually being possessed by two separate versions of Neal Bailey.

I'm attacking myself because with another of me around, there's too much competition for the ladies.

super surfer
Clark: Take back what you said about Roy Orbison! TAKE IT BACK!

Clark: I'm here to kick @$$ and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of bubble gum.
(Lionel produces a chunk of Bubblicious)
Clark: (thinking for a sec) Yeah, I'm still gonna kill you.

Example #238, "Superman Is A Dick."

super surfer
I see the debate over the proper ratio of bosons to muons is still raging.

Lionel: What? I just said I liked turtles...

Ding! Perfection.

Clark: Say it!

Lionel: No!

Clark: Say It!

Lionel: NEVER!

Clark: SAY IT!

Lionel: SEGA!

Clark: There. Wasn't so bad, was it?

Lionel: Just admit it, Clark...Le-Roj is dirt.
Clark: Never!

Worst. Urinal. Ever.

Clark: Roarrrr!! [Grabs Lionel by the neck and starts to choke him.]
Chloe: Clark, wait!!
Clark: Roarrrr!!
Lionel: P...eete!
Chloe: What?!
Martha: I think he's trying to say "Pete."
Lionel: There's...still a chance to save Pete!!
Chloe: Were is he?!!
Lionel: Lex...Lex has him...Dock 5.
Chloe: Clark, let him go. We need to find Pete.
Clark: Roarrrr!!!

It's not my fault! Try some of this delicious malt liquor!

To see Clark snap Lionel's neck, text SMALL01 to 01010

To see Clark let Lionel go, text SMALL02 to 01010

To see Lionel turn the tables on Clark, text SMALL01 to 01010

To see a better show, text HEROES to 01010

(music plays)

Thanks for voting, please enjoy Heroes.

Finally, a compelling argument for getting a cell phone.

Lionel: Is it Thursday already?

Clark: Continuity somehow randomly started up again. I just remembered all the evil things you did to me and my friends between 2001 - 2003 that I never strangled you for.

Gus Gorman
Clark: Where are those transmissions you intercepted? What have you done with those plans?

Lionel: Wrong show, kid. And don't try to quote Vader ... I was younger than YOU when that movie came out.

Clark: If this is a consular ship, where is the Ambassador?!

Lionel: Just stop. Now put me down ... underwear model.

Clark: "I'm going to kill you!"





Lionel: "Why did you just lick me?"
Clark: "Does is really matter, old man?"

Lionel: I know it's difficult for a blunt instrument to understand but you're going to have to exert some emotional separation from your work.

Clark: OH SNAP!


Lionel: Superman doesn't kill!!

Clark: First of all, technically I'm not Superman yet. Secondly, I've already killed people before. Got any other last words?

Lionel: Martha!


last man of krypton
Clark: You killed my father! I should snap your neck right now, what do you think?
Lionel: I like turtles.
Clark: ...well, can't argue with that.

Oh, God...I hate to do it...but someone's got to say it...

Clark: You milked the tractor. Now you pay with your life!

Instant crassic.

Clark: Any last words?
Lionel: You forgot Poland.


Clark: Did you?????

Lionel: No!!

Clark: DID YOU???

Lionel: NO! I did not lactate your farm machinery! Let me go!

Wild Bill

Todd Kent: "Neck five!"

Wild Bill
Lionel: "Clark STOP! If you shatter the Jor-El implant in my neck, the resultant anti-boson explosion will kill us all!"

KingGramJohnson's Newest Attempt to Win: Brown Nosing

Neal Bailey is the best reviewer on this site, not to mention his awesome judging skills. Go, Neal, go!

Attempt successful. Now go, King Gram Johnson, ruler of Australia!

Happy Holidays from the Kent family.

Dear Lex,

Merry Christmas.

Love, Clark

Dear Lana,

Lex may need the comfort of your embrace. I am sure that he will be plenty warm next to you in hell.


Dear Mom,

Go kiss a photo of dad over a cup of celibacy.

Love, Clark

Dear Al and Miles,

Really? Am I that stupid?


You can buy the cup of celibacy at the priest gift store, or so I've heard. But that comes with an asterisk.

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