Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Take a dirty picture,

I could dream of ways to see you
I could close my eyes to dream
I could fantasize about you
Tell the world what I believe
But whenever I'm not with you
It's so hard for me to see
I need to see a picture of you
A special picture just for me, yeah

So take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture

Oh Taio Cruz, I'm pretty sure that those lyrics worked really well on Ke$ha (she seems that sort of girl) but there is a lot of women out there that have probably heard those lyrics and thought "Fuck off Taio, I'm not falling for that crap again"

Yeah, I'm looking at YOU, Abbey Clancy.  Over the weekend it was reported that she had called in the police after some very intimate (I'm thinking a naked spread, pun definitely intended) photographs of her went walkabouts off her mobile phone.

On the plus side Abbey, least YOUR pics are probably really flattering. Most of us....... I mean, most women have to take the same picture about 20 times before we get a single shot that we think is even slightly sexy enough to send, (or one that we hope won't make the guy vomit)  I'm assuming you just clicked away and pressed send. (biatch)

Life would be so much easier if Photoshop did a mobile phone version wouldn't it?
(Take two inches off for her, add two inches for him-you know what I'm saying)

But I digress, I'm sure she is mortified at the thought of pictures that were for her and Peter Crouch's eyes only being seen by strangers (which are probably NOT friends she is yet to meet) who may take their own *cough* pleasure *cough* at her pictures.

It just doesn't bear thinking about does it?

But that is the risk you take when you send a sexy picture to a partner (or hook-up, whatever) How do you control who it is seen by? Your partner may not be able to resist showing off his sexy girlfriends picture to a mate (or strangers at a bus stop-whatever floats his boat)

And what happens if you break up? Would you want to see your tits (or worse) plastered all over Facebook in an act of revenge? (I imagine there would be a lot of "likes") or photocopies of your picture pinned up all over the High St? Or even posted through the door of your parents house!!!!!! (Oh god the shame)

It's a difficult one isn't it. I long for the old days of the Polaroid camera where at least you could keep the pictures yourself (and if you were lucky the picture ended up really faded and yellow-Very flattering)

Mobile phones mean that it is harder to control where your pictures end up.

So think about it the next time a partner suggests you pose for a couple of saucy pics, I'm not saying don't do it, two consenting adults and all that.............

but do try to keep hold of the memory card yourself.

or at least keep your face out of the shot!!!!!!!!

Anyone out there want to admit to losing their pictures? or have a funny (or not so funny) story about a "friend" and their pics?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x


  1. You have to feel sorry for her as its such a private thing that id be mortified if other people saw them.
    I dont have any similar stories on this topic to share and even if i did i wouldn't be telling ;)


    I'm cringing and laughing simultaneously... TOO true! ;) xx

  3. best friend once asked her boss to check a message on her phone,& it was a MMS of he partners winky with a face drawn on it

  4. Well here I go, ready to embarrass myself more than I already have.

    Before I married my now husband, we were together for 8 years. Five of those years we were in a long distance relationship. So yes, occasionally I'd take a picture of myself on my phone and send it to him. Nothing OBSCENE, but a bit cheeky. I would never be totally naked and wouldn't put my face in the photos. We'd also been together a long time, so I didn't see it as an issue.

    Skip forward a couple of years and we're living together. I've forgotten all about the images on my phone and I'm a busy career lady, rather than a lazy student.

    One day, I'm late for an appointment. I throw my phone in my bag, but I don't lock it! After the appointment I get my phone out and realise I've been sending a message over and over again to the first person in my address book - an old uni mate.

    But wait, that isn't a message it's a picture! And what image have I sent to her about 11 times? Why it's my bum in a thong. Naturally.

    I haven't spoken to her since.

  5. An ex once asked for a topless picture of me, so I sent him one. One I found on the internet of someone else's boobs.

  6. 15:47 I didn't mean that to be anonymous! I have no shame! I forgot to tell you nice internet people about the time my OH decided it would be funny to send me a picture of his bits one morning while I was in the middle of cooking breakfast. I don't know why, he has a warped sense of humour. It may have involved a pun on large sausages. Anyway, roll on a few months when said OH is in the pub with his mates, showing them pictures on his phone of the new car he bought. I don't even have to finish this story, do I? :)

  7. hahahaa, it really is too true about having to take 20 pictures before finding one! My boyfriend has managed to get me in the studio to take some pictures, if they got out I'd actually be alright about it, they're alright - I've accepted the potbelly and cellulite, pah!!

    When I was back at school, about 14, a sex video got out of a girl in our year on top of some bloke - Was SO funny being that immature, god knows what she must've thought =\ xx

  8. OOH, one of my closest male friends once took a picture of his knob for a girl and ACCIDENTALLY SENT IT TO ME! He was mortified and I laughed for days on end, hahaha! x

  9. There is nothing worse than your boyfriend looking at your phone pics and saying that isnt my penis. It wasnt

  10. Ha ha at Anonymous, you could have covered that one up with "it's a picture my friend sent of a stripper" .... afterthought!!

  11. Somewhere in a box of "keepsakes" I've got a Polaroid of my first proper boyfriend's willy. He gave it to me because he thought it would be sexy. I don't think he was expecting me to tell him it looked like a little dormouse all curled up asleep whilst laughing so hard a bit of wee came out!

  12. I know there is a picture of me and then boyfriend ahem 'doing the business'*cough* in a tent at Glasto c.1994. One night it got pinned to wall at our local, but vanished before I could rip it up into a million pieces. No-one admitted to having it. Fortunately most of the regulars were too drunk to remember the next day...

  13. As a guy, a topless or bum pic popping up on your mobile really does make the day. Willy pics? Really? Not a bit naff? Would a bum pic or something in nice jersey or boxers showing just our little (or big) friend standing to attention be more or a tease?

  14. Oh how I laughed at the '20 times' bit - so so true. And actually, truthfully, there's nothing more UNsexy than a slightly dark, kind of out of focus photo of what amasses to skin (with the odd pimple thrown in). But in the interests of sisterhood and all that - I was once alerted to a video of me on the internet, ahem, because a mutual friend said 'Oh god I recognised your voice'. Suffice to say it was removed by me within minutes (but not before I'd read the more than flattering comments ;-))

  15. It takes me forever to take a picture that I'm happy with, a guy normally probably just clicks and sends.. clicks and sends..

  16. i have nothing so exciting to report, i can understnad girls sending sexy pics but if my bf sent me a pic of him i would probably just laugh... not my thing. on a side note if i looked like abbey clancy im sure i wouldnt mind taking pics left right and centre...



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