Wednesday, August 10, 2016

The Truth About Moving Away

Two days shy of having lived here in Illinois for a year, I'd like to discuss a topic that speaks to many young people like myself that find themselves moving away from home. There are many pros and cons to moving away and uprooting yourself from everything you've ever known, but what I'm going to talk about is the truth about moving somewhere new by yourself that no one will ever tell you about.

Your family and friends are excited for you, and while it makes them sad they are still proud of you for taking such a big step by venturing to a new place to call home. Everyone promises to stay in touch, you won't miss a beat. You are the most excited among everyone, you are ready to start this new exciting journey in life. You put all reservations aside and move many, many long miles away.

At first when you move you are more than ready, no feelings of sadness come to you, maybe a bit of nostalgia but not enough to sway your determination. You know you need this change, even if you can't give people a reasonable answer as to why you are making such a big move. All you know is that you need to experience a new way of life, a new environment, new people, new culture, new ideas and new possibilities.

After arriving at your final destination, you settle in to your new place, you find a new job, you have become acquainted with your neighborhood, you've finally learned how to navigate through the different roadways and you've learned where your essential stores are- basically you've reached the point of no longer needing to use up all of your monthly data to use your smartphone's GPS.

You fall into a normal daily routine, you go to work, you live and you explore. You find your favorite restaurants and bars, you visit and explore new towns and cities that are bustling with culture completely opposite of what you were raised in. You embrace this bold new world. (I think I almost broke out in song like the Little Mermaid...)

Anyways, what no one will tell you is, sure it's all glamorous at first, the beautiful weather, the easy-going lifestyle, the incredible scenery and the numerous activities and sites to visit. You call back home to your family and friends and make them all jealous of your new life. Everyone tells you how much they wish they could be there with you and how much they miss you. Its all exciting, thrilling and a trip being the envy of your hometown until...

This new adventure crests, just like a river during the summertime after the spring rains stop. All of the Instagram and Facebook likes slowly dwindle from 50 – 100 to 5 – 10 and the daily texts and calls from your friends fade away. The excitement of the unexplored slowly turns into reality of every day life. What seemed like a months long vacation has become a consistent routine life outlined by work. But most of all, when all of the glitter fades, moving away will hit you like a brick wall when you realize you spend more time with yourself than you ever have before.

There may be someone like Chris Stapleton or Lee Brice playing in concert in a big city near you or maybe some kind of festival you are dying to check out in the next town over, but you will find yourself staying in instead of going out for lack of an adventure companion. There will be ends to long days when you just want to tell-all to a close friend over a drink at the bar but instead you will find you are your only company. It all hits you – you are alone.

Even if you have managed to find a significant other during this period of time, you may not be physically alone all the time, but you will find yourself feeling mentally alone for a very long time, and this will be the hardest thing your boyfriend or girlfriend will ever watch you tangle with. While they may be loving and supportive, they will never understand what you are missing back home unless they themselves have had the courage to uproot and start again. Loneliness will be your biggest demon and they will watch helplessly as you wrestle with it.

No one will stay in touch as much as promised, this doesn't mean your friends at home love you any less, in fact moving away will only strengthen your true friendships. But life goes on and everyone keeps moving on. No one will stay in touch as much as promised or visit you as much as planned and you will likely lose contact with the majority of friends you had before your move. Its the truth.

The reality of moving to a new place by yourself is that its overwhelmingly difficult. Its disheartening, its expensive, its challenging and very lonely. You will have many days where you question your decision to move and you wallow in your self-pity. You will have days of unspeakable homesickness, when you would give almost anything for the close comfort of family and friends. You will also have days where you wonder if you could ever call this place home.

But eventually all of those self-loathing lonely days will come to pass. Slowly you will begin to meet new people, with whom you will build new and lasting friendships with. The loneliness will slowly but surely begin to fade. You will have so much inner peace about being on the right track with your life, and you will no longer question if moving was the right decision.

Eventually you will realize that your new adventure has become your new life and you have made every day count. The truth here is, moving to a new place by yourself is one of the best things you will ever do with your life.

Moving somewhere new on your own will challenge and inspire you in ways you never knew possible. You will learn so many new things about yourself, having been forced to put yourself in such a vulnerable situation. You will essentially become a stronger person because of your decision to move.
Your self-responsibility and independence will rise a new level as you work harder each day to find new solutions to your new problems. You will learn to stand on your own as every bit of comfort you had in familiarity is washed down the drain..

Because of your move you will embrace who you truly are and you will re-embrace who you want to be. You will fight off your demons instead of running from them because you realize they haven't a rightful place in your new life. You will become open-minded and you will gain new interests as your world around you evolves drastically, into a thrilling new journey that forces you to look yourself in the eyes in the mirror everyday. You will realize that leaving your old life behind was one of the best decisions you have ever made, that pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone has made actually made you more comfortable in your new life.

You learn to shake of any shyness you have, you must learn to reach out and seek companionship instead of loathing around, waiting for it to fall into your lap. You will become a social butterfly as you open yourself up people and allow them to get to know you.

You will also find yourself being incredibly humbled as you are taught the lesson of starting over, building from scratch from the ground up, to establish yourself, your job and your life. You will earn everything in your new life, and you will gain the pride that comes with it.

Mentally and emotionally stronger, you learn to adapt and thrive in any new environment, better preparing you to handle whatever life may throw your way. You have become more in sync with yourself, because you found out the hard way what holds you back and what drives you forward. You are the most genuine and authentic version of yourself, because without friends or family around to influence who you become or the decisions you make, you realize you have no one's judgment to rely on but your own.

You will make mistakes and that's okay, be patient with yourself, offer humility. Remember to pull your head out of your ass when needed but also remember to pat yourself on the back when you've done well.

Once you've reached this point of moving away give yourself the biggest high five, hug, whatever you can manage to congratulate yourself on making it. You followed through on your decision and you took those hard steps alone to get where you wanted to be and to stay there. You have conquered something most people will never have the courage to do themselves, and you will keep conquering it everyday you live your life.

The truth about moving somewhere new on your own is it will be hard but you will be rewarded and yes you will finally find your own place in the world to call home.

No comments:

Post a Comment