How to Satisfy a Woman

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Updated: June 12, 2019 | References

Want to learn how to impress your woman in bed? You've come to the right place; this article will teach you how, and where, to focus your attention during sex in order to rock her world. Just get started with Step 1 below to learn how!

Method One of Three:
Appreciating Her, Physically and Emotionally

  1. 1
    Help her relax. The first thing you should do to ensure that a woman is enjoying herself in bed is to make sure she's comfortable. Try to make everything about her pleasure as opposed to your own. In doing so, you will help her overcome initial anxiety and reduce stress. Women usually respond to high levels of stress with a decrease in sex drive. It is simply harder for them to enjoy it when they're stressed out. Do whatever it takes to ensure that your lady is relaxed and comfortable.[1]
    • Help your woman out with tedious chores around the house. Do simple things like help her to wash the dishes or cook dinner. Women respond to a male partaking in household chores tremendously. They feel appreciated. They feel more secure, and loved. When a woman feels more appreciated and loved her sex drive is usually increased.
    • Give her a nice back massage. She'll especially enjoy it if you use lotion, massage oils and some nice scented candles. Make her feel like a queen, but don't make it seem like a chore. Let her know that you enjoy making her feel good.
    • Draw her a romantic bath with candles, sweet smells, and relaxing music. Not all women like things like this, but all women can certainly appreciate a genuine spontaneous act of love and romance.
    • Never pressure or guilt her into sex. If she's not ready, then never try to force the issue. This will not get you anywhere.
  2. 2
    Always take the time to warm her up (get her ready). Spend some time engaging in foreplay to help her body prepare for sexual activity. Foreplay is very important for a woman and adds another dimension of excitement to your sex life. Foreplay can be very fun for both men and women. Common foreplay practices include lots of different things, ranging from simply caressing her legs and breasts, to deep passionate kisses and teasing sensual areas of her body with your tongue. Many people also enjoy foreplay practices such as spanking, role-playing, biting, scratching and licking.[2]
    • Try talking dirty to her. Don't go overboard and talk about extremely kinky stuff, unless you know that she's into it. Tell her how much you want to take her clothes off, slowly, how you are going to enjoy her entire body with your lips. Tell her how bad you want to explore every inch of her body with your tongue. Pay close attention to every gasp, moan and movement that she makes (you need to know what she responds to.) Your language should be focused solely on your desire to pleasure her, and not yourself.
    • Explore her entire body with your fingertips. Be gentle with areas that you know are sensitive. Rather than touching them directly, start by teasing them. Rub around those extra pleasurable areas until she is begging to feel you touch them. Even then, just lightly rub, then go back to playfully teasing her. This will drive her wild and ensure that she is ready.
  3. 3
    Learn the female anatomy. When your woman is unsatisfied sexually, it's usually always because you're not pleasuring her in the right way. Men receive pleasure with stimulation of the penis, so it would seem logical that women would receive pleasure through stimulation of the vagina, but this is not always the case. Some women can only be brought to orgasm by stimulation of the clitoris, which is a hooded gland located directly above the vagina opening. Do some research on the clitoris and find a way to stimulate this sensitive body part in a way that works for both you and your partner.[3]
  4. 4
    Discover her erogenous zones. There are other areas on a woman's body where she is very sensitive and will receive sexual pleasure when stimulated. Try licking these areas, kissing them, or rubbing them between your fingertips. Some women may even enjoy a slight sense of pain in these areas, so you may want to try pinching, biting, scratching, and spanking as well. But don't go overboard.[4]
    • Areas like this include: the side and back of the neck, the nipples (and surrounding breast tissue), the stomach, the buttocks, and the inner thighs.
  5. 5
    Experiment with variation and rhythms. This is where the old saying comes from that states "it's not how much you have, it's how you use it that counts." Women have few nerve endings in their vagina, so what gives them pleasure while being penetrated is variation in your movements. Try different rhythms, pressure, and angles to find one that gets a reaction from her. Every woman is different, so you never know what will work, but just going at it like a jackhammer won't feel nearly as good to her as it does to you.
  6. 6
    Master oral stimulation. Oral sex feels good, but some men tend to not give as much as they take in that department. Women enjoy it just as much as men do (if not more). If you really want to earn some points with her, you should work on your technique and do it more frequently. Do some research or even ask her to guide you as you go. The clitoris will be your main focus here, but try not to forget the rest of her vagina. Figure out what she likes, tease her a bit, and go from there.[5]
  7. 7
    Explore her fantasies. Make sure that she knows you want to please her in every way and go as deep into her fantasies as possible. Once she's comfortable with sharing her darkest desires, and she's openly confiding in you with things she's never told anyone, follow through and bring her fantasy to life!
  8. 8
    Switch who holds the reigns. Some women like to be submissive during sex, some women prefer to be in control. All women are different and you shouldn't trust websites that claim they have the real answer as to which way your lady will go. Give her the opportunity to try both and see what she likes best. Even if she has a preference for one, that doesn't mean that she wouldn't like to switch it up every now and again too!
  9. 9
    Always keep things fresh. Making sex predictable and routine is a guaranteed way to make it boring and unsatisfying. Don't let your sex life become predictable and you'll keep her engaged and happy for the rest of your days. Try new positions, new locations, different times of day, and change who takes charge. Sex every Wednesday night in the bedroom with her in charge every week might grow stale after a while, but if you surprised her by getting intimate in the living room with yourself in charge on Saturday morning, you might just be able to keep the spark lit longer.
  10. 10
    Talk to her! If you feel like you're still not getting anywhere, you should talk to her! Communication is key to relationships and you shouldn't feel shy about discussing these topics with her. Your sex lives can only improve if you talk about what you both like and what you're missing. Once you get over that initial anxiety, you will be greatly rewarded for talking with your partner. Focus on what she wants, focus on getting her off instead of yourself and your woman will reciprocate. Not only will your sex lives improve, but you should notice relationship changes in general.

Method Two of Three:
Supporting Her Emotionally

  1. 1
    Give her someone to talk to. Women, just like men, need to feel like they have someone to go to when things get tough. Create a safe place where she knows she can be heard without being judged. Practice active listening, so that she knows you're paying attention to her and not just patronizing her.[6]
    • Active listening is done by responding actively to what she is saying throughout the conversation. This makes sure you understand her but it also shows her that you are listening to her and not tuning her out.
    • For example, if she says, "Olivia took credit for something I did at work today", don't say, "Aw, that sucks." Instead, say something like, "Olivia took credit? That doesn't sound good. Why do you think she did it?".
  2. 2
    Give her space and freedom. Everyone wants to feel like they can still be themselves when they're in a relationship. If you keep her trapped like a bird, all she'll want to do is rebel. Give her the freedom and encouragement to pursue the things that make her happy![7]
    • Encourage her to spend time with her friends or pursue hobbies that she's interested in. Don't discourage her from spending time with someone just because you don't like them. She's an adult and can come to her own conclusions about someone, and you need to trust her.
    • For example, if you know that she loves to dance, help her get the money together to take a dance class.
  3. 3
    Help her with the day-to-day routine. Everyday chores can build up and cause lots of stress, so make sure you're tackling these things together. Even just the little problems that come up during a normal day can sometimes benefit from a helping hand. Make sure that she knows she can rely on you.
    • Do your share of the dishes, picking up around the house, and laundry. She'll really appreciate it if you take on the extra gross jobs too, like cleaning up after the children, any pets you have, cleaning the toilet, emptying bins, and cleaning out the fridge.
  4. 4
    Let her help you too. You should give her opportunities to help you too. Everyone wants to feel like they serve a purpose in the lives of those that matter most to them. Ask her for her advice on an issue and then take that advice. You can also let her do other nice things, like make you something using a skill she possesses (even if it's not the best).
  5. 5
    Be loyal. Don't let her catch you looking at or thinking about other women. Even if you would never stray from her, you don't want to plant that seed of doubt in her mind. She needs to know that you're hers, or she will begin to feel like maybe she should be looking elsewhere before you leave her!
  6. 6
    Show her how much she means to you. Just like everyone else, women need to know that they're loved. We all want to be cared for by those we care about. So let her know! Tell her every day how much you love her and need her! Let her see that you know your life is worse without her.
    • You can do things like leaving a note in her purse that says something romantic like "I hope this makes you smile because you make me smile every day", or even something silly like "I think you have the sexiest butt".
    • Have flowers sent to her office with a note like "I hope this makes your day as incredible as you make mine everyday that you're with me".
  7. 7
    Spend time with her. If you're together, she should feel like you're together. Only getting to see you when you go to bed at night isn't a very satisfying relationship. Make sure to spend time together where you can really bond and show affection. Try to set aside date time at least once a month, or even better, weekly; even if you're very busy.
    • Even just simply time spend with her, like cooking dinner with her or going for a walk to the grocery store together to buy something for dinner, can make her feel much better.
  8. 8
    Keep her life exciting! Everyone is looking for a partner that makes their life feel exciting and fulfilling. You should be that for her, if you want her to feel satisfied in choosing you. Take on new activities together, travel, and generally expand your horizons together!
    • You can try picking up a new hobby, like geocaching or board games.
    • Try taking a weekend trip to a lake or to go hiking in the mountains, if you don't want to invest in a bigger traveling adventure.
    • You two might even enjoy taking a class together. Local community colleges will often allow people to audit courses for very cheap rates. Pick a subject you're both interested in and enjoy learning together!

Method Three of Three:
Getting Extra Help

  1. 1
    Kiss her like you mean it. Kissing is an incredible bonding activity for couples. Show her you're worth it by mastering your kissing skills![8]
  2. 2
    Become a master of the sheets. Sex isn't just the basic in-and-out that you may think it is. It takes more than a good size member and some muscles to be good in bed (neither of those is actually required at all!).
  3. 3
    Work on your confidence. A lot of relationships and doing them well just comes down to being confident. Work on your self confidence and self worth, and you'll find it improving lots of areas in your life.
  4. 4
    Make her happy. Making her feel satisfied is about 90% just making her feel happy. If you can be unselfish and make her needs your priority, you'll be in good shape before you know it.

Community Q&A

Add New Question
  • Question
    Why does my wife's body often vibrate or shake after sex?
    Community Answer
    • It means you did your job well. Some women experience little "aftershocks" or shudders after orgasm.
    Thanks! 121 3
  • Question
    My wife is pregnant, how can I satisfy her sexually?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    • Sure, pregnancy changes a woman's hormones and moods and body and whatnot. But she's still the same woman. Ask her what she likes, perhaps not in words, but through small caresses and gentle kisses, if she approves, do more of that; if not, try something else. Try lots of hugs, romance, and compliment her often.
    Thanks! 41 1
  • Question
    How can I see if a woman truly loves me?
    Community Answer
    • By the way she treats you and responds to you. Treat her like you want to be treated and she will love you for it.
    Thanks! 94 6
  • Question
    My girlfriend likes getting her navel licked, it turns her on considerably faster than kissing her. She starts to moan and groan quite loudly, and then she starts laughing and pulls away. Why does she do that?
    Community Answer
    • She is ticklish. When a woman gets turned on, she is more sensitive to touch, that's all.
    Thanks! 81 5
  • Question
    Why would any woman want to be submissive during sex?
    Community Answer
    • May I begin by saying that many men also prefer to be submissive during sex. It is less about gender and more about personal preference. For any person, it can be a thrill to be dominated in a sexual way. Some people like it less often than others, but in any case, it's up to the partners!
    Thanks! 27 1
  • Question
    I've had sex a lot, but I don't think he has ever made me orgasm. How can I suggest ways that will help with this?
    Community Answer
    • Good relationships require communication. No one knows your body better than you do yourself. Teach him where to touch you, how to touch you, and exactly what to do. Have him copy your actions on your body, encourage him when he is doing the right thing. It could take time and effort. Just be patient. If you're not sure exactly what will work for you, just keep trying new things.
    Thanks! 35 2
  • Question
    How do I satisfy a woman when I'm a virgin?
    Community Answer
    • Everyone has been a virgin. Talk to her, let her take control. Ask her what she likes to do, always start off small, don't just jump straight in. The best thing you can do is ask what she likes and let her take the reins, and take things slowly.
    Thanks! 62 6
  • Question
    I am 71 and started a new relationship, but I can't reach an orgasm. My body feels dead, am I too old?
    Community Answer
    • You are never too old to have fun with your body and other people. Don't worry, you just have to get to know your body again.
    Thanks! 44 4
  • Question
    How do I attract a girl?
    Community Answer
    • Be yourself. If someone doesn't appreciate who you are, they're not worth it. Don't change who you are just to impress someone!
    Thanks! 169 25
  • Question
    My girlfriend loves it when I kiss her on her lips, but shoves me off when I kiss her on her neck. What am I doing wrong?
    Community Answer
    • There could be many reasons for that. Maybe she's just very ticklish at the neck, or maybe she had a bad sexual experience involving it before. Or if you two haven't done much beyond kissing yet, being kissed on the neck might feel too intimate/sexual. Just ask her if you really want to know why she doesn't like it.
    Thanks! 82 13
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  • Remember that even though there are universal things that women like in bed, all women are unique. Pay attention to how she reacts to what you do in bed, and do more of what she likes and less of what she doesn't.
    0 Helpful?  0
  • Don't be afraid to ask her upfront what she wants in bed, especially if you are in a relationship with this person. Talking about sex with your partner is crucial to maintaining a healthy and satisfying sex life.[9]
    1 Helpful?  0

About This Article

Co-Authored By:
wikiHow Staff Editor
863 votes - 84%
Co-authors: 22
Updated: June 12, 2019
Views: 1,495,857
Article Summary

If you want to satisfy a woman, first help her relax so she’s comfortable and can enjoy herself. For example, offer to give her a back massage or draw up a romantic bath with candles and relaxing music. Once she’s relaxed, spend plenty of time engaging in foreplay, since women need awhile to warm up to sex. You can try caressing her legs and breasts or talking dirty to her. If you’re having trouble figuring out what gets her going, talk to her! Above all, communication is the key to having great sex. When you’re ready to have sex, try a variety of positions and rhythms. Keep in mind that every woman is different, so you’ll need to experiment to find what feels best for both of you.

Reader Success Stories

  • LG

    Lefa Godwin

    Apr 16

    "I learned more on how to treat my lady, thanks a lot. "
  • john achi

    Apr 10, 2018

    "Supporting my wife emotionally, helping to pursue her dreams, making her to feel very important in our relationship and trusting her is the most help I have gotten from this article."..." more
  • A


    Sep 9, 2016

    "This was really good because I learned how to satisfy my girlfriend now. Thanks, wikiHow, I love you. You always come to the rescue!"..." more
  • A


    Sep 8, 2016

    "Actively listening to her and communicating the way we should has helped me out immensely."
  • A


    Aug 2, 2016

    "I have a crush on this girl and am going to try to seduce her and this really helped."
  • TH

    Taylor Harrison

    Mar 26, 2017

    "This helped me lots! Now I am the master in bed, or that's what she says! "
    Rated this article:
  • Matwell Mweene

    May 30, 2017

    "I didn't know, but you guys you have just opened my eyes."
  • A


    Sep 27, 2017

    "It made me know that communication during sex is vital. "
  • TA

    Tufayel Ahmed

    Apr 30, 2017

    "I can find anything here, any solution and good advice. "
  • A


    Sep 12, 2017

    "A little bit of gratitude is heart-melting enough!"
  • DM

    Dickson Mbala

    Nov 17, 2017

    "Wonderful. Looking forward to more such articles."
  • VL

    Vusimuzi Lucas

    May 22, 2017

    "This helped to know what makes women feel free."
    Rated this article:
  • SS

    Sunny Singh

    Jul 11, 2016

    "Helped me to know how to please a girl."
  • A


    Apr 5, 2017

    "I'm gay, but I liked it anyway. Thanks!"
    Rated this article:
  • SK

    Suah Kanneh

    Jul 14, 2016

    "It helped me improve my relationship."
  • HL

    Harry Lee

    Aug 7, 2016

    "This helped me with sex! Amazing."
  • VK

    V. K.

    Jul 30, 2017

    "Nice information."
    Rated this article:
  • A


    Jun 8, 2018

    "This is good."
  • AP

    Aman Philip

    Sep 9, 2016

    "Really nice."
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