Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Once upon a time....

Yesterday, Mark had meetings in Dubai, so I took the opportunity to bag a free lift to the big smoke and have a day hanging out at The Dubai Mall. While having a good 'ol mooch I passed the Stylist Arabia stand and picked up my free copy. Now, I have seen the latest issues' cover, going around on social media and was so happy that I had actually managed to pick myself up a copy. The cover being...

'Once upon a time, there was a woman in Dubai. She was over 30, not in a relationship, and she didn't have children.... she lived happily ever after.' Stylist Arabia

Instantly when I read this, I smiled a knowing smile and couldn't wait to read the article. Now, I know this doesn't completely apply to me, as I am married, but the over 30 and having no children part does.

So many times over the years, when I meet people, the conversation questions are pretty much, Do you work? Me, 'No'. Oh, Do you have children then? Me, 'No'. Then the head tilt and sympathetic expression appears, like I'm sort of leper that has no reason to be on this earth. Then said person moves on, as they obviously feel they cannot continue a conversation or think they can engage with me. (Oh and the constant questions from taxi drivers! Yes my friends, taxi drivers telling me, I should have children, lot's of them!)

When I was younger I always assumed, I would grow up, get married, have children, as that's what society makes you believe you should do.

As I've got older, I've realized that, it's not what you 'have' to do. Now, I'm not knocking having children, because I'm sure it's a lovely experience etc, if that's what you want, but for me and Mark, it's not. Full stop. It is just not what we see in our future and basically, not what we want. And I don't think we should have to apologize for our decisions. Like the women in the article. Being a successful thirty-something women is nothing to be ashamed of, it should be celebrated!

Similar to the article talking about women leaving their homes for Dubai, to escape the harrowing stigma of 'getting married, having children'. We kind of did the same. We left the UK for an overseas adventure, basically for a better life and so we could enjoy ourselves and spend more time together. Our jobs back in the UK (I was Cabin Crew & Mark an Aircraft Engineer) even though they were good jobs, we were literally 'ships passing in the night'. Now, that's not what it's all about.

I know many people think, because I don't work, I should be having children, but why? Why should I be having children. I have two beautiful cats (queue the crazy cat lady chorus!) that I love and they are my babies. I have my blog, (be it not that popular, but I love it!),  my lovely husband, and a great life.

Quoting my husband, he always says to me 'you have my dream life'. I feel, I am so very lucky and approaching 33, I am happier then ever and I am going to stop apologizing, making excuses and feeling less 'worthy' for not working or having children, because it's my life and I am, 'living happily ever after'.

At the end of the day, we are all different, we all want different things and that's what makes life interesting. Judging women on their life choices needs to stop, as what one women wants, is completely different to the other. Let's all 'live and let live'!

Heather x x


  1. Thought-provoking article cover! True, people should respect other people's life choices.

    1. Hi Patricia, Thank you for commenting... Totally agree!

  2. Great post hun. I think there is so much pressure on women to have what is known as the 'perfect' life, husband, home, kids etc etc but the perfect life is what you want for yourself NOT what society says you should have. As long as you are happy that is what matters. If we women were all the same the world would be a boring place! As you know we have two kids, and they have fulfilled our lives in more ways than I could ever explain, but that DOES NOT make us two any different, apart from me being a 'bit' older than you and I for one can't wait to meet you, Mark and your 'babies' one day. Hopefully in our beloved Spain xx

    1. Aww thanks Steph, you brought a tear to my eye lol! Oh we will definitely meet one day!! I can't wait!!! x x