Monday, February 26, 2018

Valentine's Day

Both she and Mel had to work late on Valentine's day, and he accidentally made reservations for a time when they both were not going to be off work yet. 

As a last minute surprise he got a room at the hotel they had spent time in before, and brought her a large bouquet of white roses.  "I know you kinda think Valentine's Day is stupid, and that you think stuff is stupid...but this is the one day of the year where I have to do it.  I had to get you these, I wanted to."

She kissed him, and they went downstairs to check out what restaurants were still open.  They watched the Olympics at a fake Mexican Cantina and marveled at all the tequila on the walls.  He was trying to take a break from alcohol and she was drinking water in solidarity.

They went back up to the room and debated going to the closing night of a local bar, but then got involved in a late 90's movie on TV while looking for the Olympics.  It was a long movie, and towards the end they ended up fooling around.  She stopped him as he reached for her underwear, and he continued to protest.  She reminded him that he had a very easy task ahead of him, just a small test before she was going to let him go further.

"I'll go on Tuesday."

He'd said that before, so she didn't really pay it any mind.

On Thursday he sent her a text; "I peed in a cup then got stabbed."

She texted "I'm proud of you."

He responded "Now I'm off to Planned Parenthood."

She laughed out loud, then got a little nervous.

Friday, February 23, 2018

Asking Too Much

Mel asked if he could do anything for her, but he was going through his own dramas, so she told him she was fine.

She wasn't.

She was feeling her lowest when she got a text from Nameless, who she hadn't heard from since December.  They easily fell into their old routine, but it was nice to talk to him about things.  She missed having that connection with someone, where there was some flirting but mostly just honest talk.

She expressed her frustration with men and made fun of him for his commitment issues.

"I don't think I'm asking that much of guys.  I'm respecting myself and I think that it's just enough."

He responded "I don't think you are asking too much, just more than most."

It woke her out of her depression.

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

You Get Your Rest

She woke up one morning, and the act of putting her feet on the ground felt like a defeat.  She was depressed.

It was in this depression that she realized she hadn't actually been depressed in quite a while.  She'd just been too busy.

Working on her new play had been difficult.  No one was bonding, everyone was alpha-ing except for the director, and it was the stage manager's first time so she had to teach him the ropes without being overbearing.  No one in the cast was bonding.  She felt like she just went to get a little affection with JJ once in awhile.

Goldie was filming another movie and had actually cast her in it.  It was her first time acting since college, and it was stressful to do the art direction and worry about a performance.  While in production she rode the high of spending time with new people and being on a movie set.  She thought she'd made a couple of friends, but their interest in Banana proved to show they were just looking for something else.  She was happy Banana was getting the attention, but she was sad that these people didn't even want to be her friend.

At the end, she was also judging a local beauty pageant when a last minute addition to the shoot came up.  She worked through the night, then went to day 1 of the pageant directly afterwards, followed by the last night of her play.  In the end she was up for about 41 hours, and it took it's toll.  After the next day the pageant was over, and thus all her projects had ended.

And so it all came crashing down.  The vagintis she'd been fighting since the beginning of all the crazy suddenly raged.  She called the doctor, thought about the friends she had made and lost in such a short time, and how there was nothing else to look forward to.

She wanted to deactivate her dating apps.  She tried to be productive but ended up back in her bed after a few hours.  The only thing that pulled her out of it for a bit was going to see IL's and Levi's new baby.  He was very calming and sweet, and it was amazing, but the next day she was back to being cranky.

It would all pass, but for now she had nothing to look forward to.