display | more...

Tony Christian Halme (1963-2010) was a Member of Parliament and a heavyweight boxer from Finland, with one Finnish heavyweight championship. He was a WWF wrestler in the USA with the name "Ludwig Borga", and then wrestled in Japan as "Tony the Viking" for several years. He switched into boxing in 1995. He had the the heavyweight championship in Finland, and WFB champion in the USA.

He was a colourful character, a show man, who named himself "Viikinki". He had a tattoo near his ass reading EXIT ONLY. He said he got it done to send a clear message to gays, whom he suspected of glancing at him. He made a few songs, which are at least meant to be funny, harsh and manly.

An excerpt from his song "Viikinki":

Polttoaineena on raaka testosterooni
Exit only tatuoitu peräpeiliini
Kaivaa kai jo esiin ensiapukittiä
Minä olen bull ja kaikki muut on shittiä
Minä olen Viikinki, rautavuori
Viikinki, rautakuori
Maine kauas kantautuu
sen eessä ihmismieli antautuu
Here is a horrible translation into the the language of the anglo-saxons:
The fuel is raw testosterone
"Exit only" is tattooed into my arse
They'll prolly search for a first-aid kit
I am the bull and everyone else is shit
I am the Viking, the iron mountain
The Viking, the iron skin
My fame spreads far
And the human mind surrenders before it

He recorded two albums like these, with memorable hits such as Jos sä tartut mun hanuriin (mä näppäilen sua) "if you grab my ass (I'll beat you up)" and so on. One album has sold platinum. He was also an actor, major roles the movies Ponterosa (2001) and Kohtalon kirja (Book of Fate, 2003), also seen in Die Hard: With a Vengeance (aka Die Hard 3, 1995).

He wrote a political book. He promised that he'll participate in presidential elections, if the book sells more than 100 000 copies. The final surprise is that he wrote a book of poetry. Not that the poems would be brightest in existence, but someone has to do it, namely "Poems by a WWF Wrestler".

A little update! He actually was elected into the parliament in 2003 - with a landslide. His first public statement was calling the president a lesbian. The next day he apologized and changed the term "lesbian" into "ex-chairman of Seta(1". Quite a start for a MP's career.

(1 Seta, Seksuaalinen tasavertaisuus, is the Finnish National Organization for Sexual Equality. President Tarja Halonen was its chairman in 1980-81, in the effect of a lawyer specialized in civil rights.

Halme's career in the parliament didn't continue too well, either. In July 2003, after a night of heavy drinking and eating random pills and possibly taking amphetamine, he fired a shot - with an illegal gun - to the wall of his apartment when having an argument with his wife. Did I mention driving under the said influence? The police surrounded the apartment. When they stormed in, they found Halme unconscious.

Halme was resuscitated and brought to hospital, where he lay in a coma for a good month or two. Speculations of irreversible brain damage and a state of vegetative coma run wild. He did recover, and resumed to his work at the parliament. He had lost weight terribly and was a bit quiet compared to his former boasting and bad attitude.

Of course this was a terrible scandal. He admitted just about none of the crimes. In the end, he was found guilty to smuggling of the hormone pills and amphetamine, illegal possession of an unlicensed firearm, reckless endangerment and abuse of narcotics. He got a probation sentence of four months and 80 day-fines. The court decreed the evidence for driving under influence too weak and he wasn't convicted on that charge.

It was believed that he suffered no lasting effects from the coma. However, it was apparent that he became slow and silent.

In 2010, he was found dead in his home, with death resulting from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

As for the election of him to the parliament... What is the title of the position he was elected into in 2003? "Representative". There are ~16000 voters who voted for him, and if those are yokels and morons, it's in line with the spirit of democracy to have a representative to represent them, too. Ancient Greeks, the inventors of democracy, called those who didn't vote "idiots". They may be yokels and morons, but not idiots.

And in addition to the forementioned, a new member of the Finnish parliament.

Yesterday I thought that this candidate (who BTW has the SS sigil tattooed on his ankle) was the biggest (quite literally), funniest and the most hideously grotesgue joke in a long time. Although I don't think that fanatic nationalism is in itself funny, I did see Tony Halme being a candidate in the election as extremely hilarious. Can't say why really...

Yesterday was good.

Yesterday, this man was just a number. 33. Just one of those "alternative" candidates, falling to the gray mass of lunatics and celebrities, who all think they got a chance at politics. You see, in finland everyone can be a politician, and therefor everyone will try. Especially celebrities like singers, professional athletes and so on. Mostly these kind of candidates only bring votes to their party, they rarely get elected themselves. And if they do, it's never by a landslide.

Or so it was, until last night.

And last night changed a lot. The result surprised me, as well as the whole nation. Halme received 16390 votes. Scoring fifth. Nationwide.

For example Anneli Jäätteenmäki received a whopping 15657 votes, and she's the head of Keskusta, the party that won the election as a whole, and therefor the person most likely to become the prime minister.

Today is surreal.

Today I'm ashamed to be a finn.

Today, I'm thinking Bobrikov.

Commonly, the people in Finland uninterested in politics and generally those ones who've grown cynical and tired to the empty promises of the candidates have this tradition of giving their vote to Donald Duck (Aku Ankka in finnish) as a sort of an anonymous protest. Other common favorites include Mickey Mouse and other popular Disney characters, but we finns are especially fond of this loud mouthed and foul-tempered duck.

The statistics have shown that this group consists mostly of young(ish) people who've moved from country to the larger cities, capital Helsinki in particular, from country and in general those in strong support of finnish traditions such as beer, hockey, sausage and some more beer.

In another words, yokels and morons.

The Finnish elections 2003 was different for them. These people had received a real-life substitute to express their self-justified frustration against system. These peoples gave their vote to Tony "the Viking" Halme.

The guy is a serious populist, a member of a populist party and was picked on as kid.

For more info&pictures, check: www.tonyhalme.net
