“Not Me” “I Didn’t Do it”

Love is

My kids are not perfect. I am guessing yours aren’t’ either. I am so far from perfect.

Lying seems to be the biggest issue in our household of late. I realized in talking to my husband about this issue tonight, that I am one of the biggest parts of the problem.” First rule of management, it’s always your fault” (Pardon the Bug’s Life quote)

You see I have been taking the list of wrongs, and applying all 5 of those recent wrongs onto one little instance. A book being misplaced right before reading time, shoes that keep being lost as we are trying to leave the house. I could keep going. But I realized tonight that if I do keep going, it would be airing our dirty laundry for the world to see. Keeping a list of wrongs, and if I am honest thinking the worst of my kids.

Then I am going to need to humble myself, and apologize to my kids for letting the heaviness of that list affect the hearts of our family. The building up of our home.

The math doesn’t add up, I cannot take the averages of all the wrongs done in our household, and keep letting them fester until all the wrath of all the wrongs, gets dumped on to one person. That just perpetuates the “Not me” mentality. “Oh, I messed up, but this might be the thing that really makes Mom mad, so I should not own up to what I did.” So instead the defensive not me monster jumps out and we all lose at point.

How as Mom’s are we supposed to let all those list items go? They feel so big, and frustrating in the moment.

First, take a deep breath. Think of this issue, considering redemption. Think of your child in the precious worth of eternity. Take a moment and think of what is true, what is noble, what is gentle.

Now, we need to either love and strive with them until completion and repentance with forgiveness, or realize that we don’t have enough evidence to prove guilt. Read the scripture about that issue, pray with them and let go and let God. All scripture is profitable, right?

So, tomorrow I am planning to show my kids a physical example of the heaviness of keeping a list of wrongs.

 I am going to take a bag and let them each put an item in that bag.

I am going to ask them to list the items in that bag as well as who put it there.

We are going to make a list of those things, weigh the bag in our hands, then compare our list to keeping a list of wrongs.

Can we remember correctly each item and who placed it in the bag?

Does the list get jumbled?

Is it frustrating to all of us when we make a mistake on that list? Or use someone else’s name with an item?

Can we keep list like this in our hearts?

How does keeping that list of wrongs make our hearts feel? Heavy like the bag?

There is hope.


Our hope is that despite our feeble efforts. God is indeed using the things not seen in our children’s hearts to bring glory to himself, and to bring further good into the lives of our children.

Psalm 103:14 For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. (KJV)