10 Quick Ways To Spot A Gold Digger ~ Billy Caputo

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  2. When they discuss their financial woes, suggest ways in which the suspected gold digger can makemoney fast.  When you mention the possibility of them selling their luxury car, video console, guitar, diamond bracelet, or any other expensive item that could keep them from becoming homeless or having their utilities cut off or car repossessed, how do they respond? The average person will be saddened and may even become angry or upset, but a gold digger will be appalled at the very idea that they should have to give up their prized possessions in order to meet their own basic needs. They’ll treat the idea as ludicrous. More often than not, their dismissal of the idea will be accompanied by anger or even rudeness. This is a very subtle pointer that would give you a very good sense of their sense of entitlement.
  3. Look for a sense of entitlement. Gold diggers feel that they deserve to be treated well, and that includes knowing that someone is willing to spend money on them. Maybe it’s because they had a bad childhood or relationship, and they feel they deserve to be happy (and it just so happens that their joy carries a high price tag). Or maybe they feel it’s their right to be able to pursue their big dreams at the expense of financial stability, and, coincidentally, haven’t considered who will foot the bill of their soul searching. Have you noticed unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment? This sense of entitlement is one of the symptoms of narcissistic behavior, which has other symptoms that a potential gold digger might harbor:

    • requires excessive admiration
    • lacks empathy is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
  4. Ask them meaningful questions.

    • What is the best gift they’ve ever gotten? Gold diggers will almost always cite an expensive, material object, not a uniquely personal and thoughtful gift.
    • What’s the biggest thing you ever had to give up to do or get something you really wanted? What you’re searching for here is evidence of  delayed graitfication- the ability to give up something now so that you can achieve something greater, later. Gold diggers are notoriously spoiled or sheltered, and have never had to really wait, work, or struggle for what they want because somehow, someone was always there to help.
  6. Search for signs of generosity and gratitude towards you. After having gone on several dates, has this person ever offered to pay? When you do pay, does he or she say thank you? Do they ever offer to help you in other ways? (And no, physical intimacy doesn’t count); do they cook you dinner when you’ve been out working late? Fix your computer? Run an errand for you when your schedule’s especially tight? If these character traits are missing, is this really someone you want to get involved with? A person doesn’t develop gratitude and generosity overnight…
  7. Indulge in a pipe dream. A pipe dream is basically a long shot. Take one of your childhood fantasies and run with it. Tell the person you’re dating that you’re thinking about becoming the mechanic, writer,
    [insert dream career here] you’ve always wanted to be. Explain how if you were to ever do this, it would require a significant lifestyle change; you’d have to go back to school, relocate, or whatever would make it clear that your standard of living will go down dramatically. How does this person respond? Do they seem concerned? That’s normal. A good person will encourage you to follow your dreams while simultaneously helping you think of ways to do it practically and responsibly. A gold digger will look horrified or disgusted and say things like “You’re not really serious, are you?” OR they are ready to call it quits and leave because you are paying attention to “you” instead of “them”.
  8. Watch yourself. It feels good to help people, whether you just helped someone avoid becoming homeless, or you’re helping an aspiring artist or entrepreneur launch his or her career, but you have to be careful that you don’t fall into a pattern where your help become the norm, so much so that without your financial assistance, the relationship would crumble. If you’re the kind of person who has trouble saying no, or who is intensely sympathetic and compassionate, you’re more likely to bump into a gold digger. You might also face the feeling that this is one of the most attractive or intriguing people you’ve ever dated, and you don’t want to ruin your chances, but don’t be fooled by a good looking exterior. It could cost you.
  9. Listen to the types of questions you are asked. Even seemingly innocuous questions like “What do you do?” and “Where do you live?” can be loaded questions, asked in an attempt to ascertain your net worth and lifestyle. In any case, do not answer these questions directly – but start out by explaining your life story. What things happened to you as a child/teenager that shaped the life you live today? A person truly interested in who you are will listen intently and ask questions of a more personal nature – whereas a gold digger will not have the patience to get to know you first; they will only want to find out your current financial position before investing any time in you. Gold diggers in a social situation will work the room and are “on the clock”. The longer you can delay telling them what you do, they will be unable to size you up and you stand a better chance of