Unrealistic Expectations....

A while back, an internet report shared that fake eggs were discovered in China. Folks were dismayed at the deception. They complained and we wondered why is it that some people decide they can fool others? What is it that we expect from producers? Is it reasonable to expect that people will deliver what they say they will?

What is the harm if someone creates fake eggs? In of itself, there is probably no harm done, unless...

  • the substitution is harmful,
  • contains inferior ingredients, or 
  • doesn't deliver the same essence the original would have delivered.
Life can be filled with deceptions or maybe those are simply unrealistic expectations....

The Man Store is an example of wanting what you don't have.... Women shoppers are told that they can only go up one level at a time to shop for a husband in this particular store, and once they pass that level, they are not able to purchase a husband on that level. So, one woman decides to enter the store. The first level has a sign that describes the husband material on that level: "Has a job." The woman thinks, "Nice," but is intrigued and goes on to the second level, where the descriptor states, "Has a job, likes to help with chores." Amazed, the woman smiles, and proceeds up to the third level, where it boasts that the husbands on this floor "have a job, help with chores, and are extremely handsome." The woman can't stand the suspense and runs up to the fourth floor where the ad reveals these husbands "have jobs, help with chores, are extremely handsome, and love children." Not believing her eyes, she nearly flies up to the fifth floor where she sees a sign that says:

You are woman 103,111,114. There are no husbands on this level. This only proves that women can never be satisfied.

Yes, the store owners also had a wife store, but that's fodder for another column....

But that woman certainly had some unrealistic expectations, didn't she? Why do we always want for more when we have what we need right under our very own noses? If our hair is curly, we yearn for straight hair and spend good money trying to attain that look that is really not us. The old adage that the grass is greener on the other side....yeah, that's us. We just can't be satisfied with what is.

In life this wanting what we cannot have leads to anxiety, depression, and much imbalance in our lives. If your dissatisfaction is with  your spouse, think about his/her positive qualities. Then list the negatives. If the column on the positive side is longer or substantial, think about what is important. Are the negative qualities enough to create an unhappy relationship? What are your priorities in life? What do you give? Do you give without worrying about what you will get?

I recently told someone that I had no preconceived expectations from my husband, so whatever he does is a bonus. He is an adult. He can make his own decisions. I am not his boss. Whenever I have this attitude, amazing things occur in our marriage. When I weaken and begin to nag and nudge, I am often met with resistance. If I want something done and ask him...I don't have to remind him every six months. If I really want it done now, I must figure out a way to do it. Simple. Respectful. And darn hard to do. But doable.

Begin asking yourself what you really need in life. It boils down to being independent, loving, caring, and doing what you can to ensure your own happiness. No one can or should do it for you. Starting to think in this manner will definitely help chase away the blues...for a while, anyway....


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