Haven't You Always Wanted a Monkey?

One of my favorite new internet celebrities has to be Copernicus the homicidal monkey. C'mon. He's a monkey, and he wants to kill you. What's not to love?

Happily, it appears I'm not the only one who thinks a homicidal monkey is perfect birthday cake material:

"Remember, kids: A hug is just a strangle you haven't finished yet!"


If you're not familiar with Copernicus, I recommend hopping over to this post by the Bloggess for a (hilarious) explanation. However, believe me when I say that "creepy homicidal monkey" really does sum it up nicely.



"Did you know that monkeys are really cute? And are in no way able to kill you with a banana? It's true. And if you believe that, here, try this banana."


"No no, really, you go on to sleep. I'll just sit here, quietly, and watch.

While sharpening my extensive collection of Ginsu knives."


"What's that? You find my stare unnerving? Then maybe you should just close your eyes. Theeere you go. Aaaaalll better."


 "Hey, I actually enjoy a good party. Confined spaces, unsuspecting revelers with alcohol-dulled reflexes, and funny hats? Why, that's a Saturday night, right there.


"Of course, during the week I mostly look forward to killing time.

"We can quibble over definitions later."


And finally, I'd like to take a moment to remind you all of the importance of eye contact.

Especially when plotting double homicides and eating bananas.


Thanks to Jocelyn T., Kelly E., Deirdre M., Jessica, April G., & Tiffany for putting the "stab" back in this establishment.