Monday, 18 January 2016

I'm dreaming of...

I knew it was only a matter of time before I decided to do a post about my dreams. I'm not sure if it's because I have chronic fatigue or my anti-depressants but from as long as I can remember I have had the great ability to wake up and remember my dreams. I can remember multiple dreams a day depending on how my sleep schedule is and whether I am napping in the day. I dream in colour and I remember every single little detail of what I dream. It's very rare for me to wake up and not remember my dream or if I don't remember it straight away it might come back to me in the day. So I thought it would be kind of cool to document some of my frequent dreams, spooky dreams, scary/awkward dreams and one of my most memorable dream. 

Frequent Dreams

There are two dreams I often have. Sometimes they change slightly but they both revolve around the same main points. 

My first is that I am at school. That I go to classes but I don't have to do Science, I skip English as much as possible and I don't do PE because the lesbian teacher fancies me and lets me off it. The weird part of this dream is that I am the same age as I am now. I am always chasing around after a teacher I fancy (this person can be teachers from my past, actors from shows I have watched or just random people). The whole of the dream is me trying to explain to them that I am not 16 but I am 36 and I am there because I am repeating my GCSE's every year to try and get a good grade. 

My thoughts on this dream: I would say 9/10 times my dreams revolve around romance. Whether it be fancying someone who fancies me in the dream or chasing someone who runs away from me. I think it's just because I have a lot of love to give and I adore romance. I love the excitement of romance. Sadly I rarely dream about my true love Neil and when I do it can be bad. More on that later. The whole still being at school/GCSE's I believe is because I moved schools half way through my GCSE's so I had to go back a year as I did different subjects. I think I dream about school because it was a big part of my life. I don't do science in my dreams because I was rubbish at it and got an E in my exams. Not sure why I skip English so much and PE no idea though at one of the four senior schools I went to there was a pervy female teacher. I never fancied any of my teachers when I was at school so find it bizarre to start fancying them in my dreams. I find it a bit gross when I wake up. As for actors having watched shows such as Waterloo Road, 90210 and Pretty Little Liars I just think the various actors just happen to be in my head at the time. Random people I have no idea its quite frustrating because I am sure I read somewhere that you can only dream about people you have seen/met. Sometimes people from school feature in the dreams too. People I haven't spoken to or thought about in years.

My second dream is about aeroplanes. I dream that I go to America to see my family in San Francisco and that I am too scared to get on the plane to come back. The dream has changed somewhat in the last year to that every time I fly I fall asleep and no one can wake me up until the flight has landed. I have also had dreams that I go on a plane to France and take the cat and dog with me and they aren't allowed in the hotel and so they have to stay outside and sometimes the cat goes missing and never comes back or I lose one of the pet carriers for the plane back and I have to spend ages running around shops trying to find one. 

My thoughts on this dream: I visited San Francisco in 1995 when I was 16 years old before my depression struck. Since then I have found it hard to travel. I am not scared of the plane crashing it's more a fear that I can't cope with being cooped up and getting claustrophobic and wanting to get off when I can't. I have no idea why I have started dreaming that I get knocked out and can't wake up. I also don't know why I dream that I take the animals on a trip to Disneyland Paris!

Spooky Dreams

There are two dreams I remember that still to this day freak me out a little bit. 

My first spooky dream is from way back when I was about 10 years old. I had a dream that an old man (not dissimilar to the old men with the beards that tried to fix the car in the film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang) stuck his head through the window and poked my foot with his walking stick. 

My thoughts on this dream: I know it doesn't sound too spooky but it's when I tell you that I was in my sisters room, the window was wide open and my foot was hanging out the bed when I woke up that made it spooky for me. Below the window outside was a conservatory. I am not sure why I had this dream but maybe my foot got cold in the night and that's why I had a dream about it. I have had dreams that I have broken my arm before and woken up with a dead arm from sleeping on it. 

My second spooky dream is from when I lived in a Victorian B&B in Bath which I helped my mum run. I had a dream that a black man came right up to my face and shouted BOO! in my face. I woke up screaming and thought I briefly saw the man then he disappeared. 

My thoughts on this dream: It felt so real. I could still feel the breath and smell it when I woke up. That night I had fallen asleep with the light on. I am not sure what to make of this dream. All I know is that the room I was sleeping in was once the kitchen and was once the servants quarters so who knows. I am surprised my screams didn't wake the guests up but I told them at breakfast the next morning. 

Scary and Awkward Dreams

My scariest dream I have was in the past few years. I have spoken to Neil about including this dream because it involves him and he thinks I should because it freaked me out for days. 

I had a dream that I was laying in bed asleep and that Neil turned around and stabbed me in the back. I turned over and then he stabbed me in the chest and I was bleeding to death. 

My thoughts on this dream: It scared me because it felt so real. I woke up the next morning and I felt odd towards Neil. I told him about the dream that day. I also told my sister too because I just couldn't get over it. I knew that Neil would never hurt me but it felt so real. I found the next couple of days hard to shake the dream off and didn't sleep well. Now I just laugh about it because it's silly and the way I reacted was silly. 
My other dream that scares me is the dream that I can't wake up. That people are trying to wake me up and I can hear them but I just can't wake up. Or someone is breaking into the house but I can't wake up. 

My thoughts on this dream: I am very concious that I sleep a lot due to my fatigue. I think often about the fact that I spend most of my life sleeping and what a waste. Maybe it's something to do with that. For me dreaming I can't wake up or dreaming the obsessive bad thoughts are coming back are my worst fears. 

My awkward dreams usually revolve around dreaming about having arguments with members of my family. I wake up the next day and talk to them on the phone and feel bad for having an argument but it was in my dream. I love my family so much, we are a close family and it's very rare for us to have an argument. 

Dreaming of the dead

I dream about dead people. In particular I dream about my Nan's husband Uncle George. He died when I was 13 years old. He was a good, kind and caring man. I have fond memories of him. When he comes into my dream it's usually to say he is looking after my Nan and that everything is going to be okay. 

My thoughts on this dream: The thing I find odd about the dream is that my Nan is still here with us in the living world. She hasn't been very well for awhile now though. The distance between us makes it harder for me to see her and I worry a lot that I don't get to see her enough. It would be so lovely to think that Uncle George does visit me in my dreams because I admired and respected him so much but I can't see how it would be possible. It's nice to remember him and "see" him again even if it is in my dreams. 

Me having an afternoon nap with Uncle George (aged 3)

I also had a dream about Stephen Gately (from Boyzone) not long after his death. He said "hello" to me. I think it's because he was on my mind and I never got to meet him before. 

Memorable/Favourite Dream - Dream Island

There is this one dream I had a couple of years ago that I thought a lot about so I thought I would share it. It involves a guy who to save any embarrassments I am going to call "X" throughout my recollection of this dream. 

The dream actually starts in the bedroom. I walk to the window and instead of the street being out the front there is sand and in the distance I can see the sea. It's a bright sunny evening out there. I see this guy looking up at me and beckoning me to him. I look back at myself asleep on the bed. Then I look down and see the drop through the window. I look at the man and he shouts "you will be fine, come on." so I take the plunge and land softly on the sand. I walk over to the man. He looks at me and says "Welcome to Dream Island. You have been invited by someone to join him here. He is dreaming too and you can find him up the top of the hill in the you go and have fun." 
I walk up the hill to the shop. I look around the shop and down the couple of aisles. I don't see anyone. Then I walk to the shop counter and there he is X. I turn to him and say "what's going on why are you here?" and he says "ahh Ellen, I've been waiting for you for ages, so long in fact that I got bored and decided to get a job here in the shop. Wait there whilst I find someone out back to take over from me and then we will go for a little walk." 
I waited and we walked to this bench by the edge of the cliff overlooking the blue sea. The sun was just setting. I turned to him and said I didn't understand what was going on. He said "It takes some getting used to coming to Dream Island. You can only come if you are invited and I invited you here because I want to tell you something." I turned and looked into his eyes and he said "I love you Ellen but I can't be with you in real life. But now we have met here on Dream Island we can come here whenever we like and be together."We hugged, kissed, chatted and laughed with each other.  

I did return to Dream Island one more time in my dreams and again we mostly chatted and sat on that bench. Sadly I haven't been back there for well over a year now! 

My thoughts on this dream: It's on odd one. I knew I was dreaming in this dream. I know that there can't possibly be a "dream island" but it's a nice thought that this other world exists. 

I think I will leave it there...if I have any more interesting dreams I am sure I will share them in the future. Do you remember your dreams? feel free to share them. Or if you are a dream interpreter I would love to know what you think of my collection of dreams. 


1 comment:

  1. I only seem to remember one's recurring and it involves a harlequin chasing me round Wilkos. He's throwing tins of hot dogs at me!