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Friend has trouble meeting women (27)

1 Name: Dante : 2006-08-04 15:02 ID:aYcDQxJ1

In the past year and a half, I have been working to help a friend- who, despite being a very nice and rather handsome guy- is 21, never had a girlfriend, and still a virgin.

We have had some initial successes- he started dating a girl for about 3 months before they broke up, and he has gone out on 1 or 2 dates. He has been working on his wardrobe (which used to be nothing but anime and metal shirts), has become a lot more playful, self-confident, and has broadened his interests beyond the usual "nerd stuff". But that's IT in the past year (we still have to work on his serious temper problem)...

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-04 17:21 ID:25NELqxx

All you need is luck :(

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-04 17:34 ID:WKWqlKF1

Tell him to stick to jacking off.

More fun, less hassle, leaves you more money for guns, video games, and "Me" Time.

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-04 17:35 ID:WKWqlKF1

Oh yeah and any girl who doesn't dig metal band shirts is a bitch anyways

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-05 01:32 ID:yGBKSf/5

Luck? No. You need assertiveness. OP keeps talking about trying to get girls to talk to him-- how about taking some initiative and speaking to THEM? I can confidently say that women like being approached-- flatter, converse, whatever.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-05 03:15 ID:GuaYxfF+


Let me drop the following knowledge upon you:

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-05 05:20 ID:bzmeyBlQ

most of the times when people say "a friend of mine has....", they're reffering to themselves

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-05 12:05 ID:ARDRwRaE

most the the time when people say that people who say "afriend of mine has...." are referring to themselves, they're referring to themselves

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-05 12:40 ID:Cg/YsAEd

most the the time when people say that people who say "afriend of a friend of mine has...." are referring to themselves, they're referring to themselves, they're referring to themselves

10 Name: Dante : 2006-08-05 13:05 ID:aYcDQxJ1

Actually, in this case, this is not true, I myself am in the middle of a completely different predicament (see ) that seems to be almost as painful, LOL... but you don't necessarily have to believe me =P

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-05 18:03 ID:W5K6WU34

Some girls will mention the "boyfriend" just to shoo you away. Chances are, not everyone is involved in a relationship.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-05 21:48 ID:Heaven

Seconded. They want you to get the fuck away from them.

13 Name: Dante : 2006-08-05 22:02 ID:aYcDQxJ1

That is something that has crossed my mind... The thing is, he follows the tricks and tips in talking to women that I use that have gotten me laid/gotten me a girlfriend in the past, but they STILL don't work... He's getting very bitter and I worry that he might "give up" too soon... Anyone got some tips/scenarios that can help us?

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-06 14:05 ID:W5K6WU34

You describe your friend as "handsome." Would women refer to him as handsome as well? If they do, it's the kiss of death. It basically means, "you're good-looking, but I wouldn't get involved with/have sex with you." It's equivalent to hot if it comes from middle-aged women and old ladies though.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-06 14:18 ID:dsIk1HY8

>>6 speaks the truth.

Sex isn't all that great, and dating isn't worth the bother. I say >>1's friend should just find a hobby he enjoys and enjoy his life as a free and single man.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-07 08:46 ID:6FLCeEgz

Tell your friend that even though he isn't getting any action, he's still making more progress than most of
That should cheer him up.

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17 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-07 20:02 ID:QKeGmaLX


"The light never fades, It just dims" Though you might not succed, never give up. Your Heart is your strength, it makes you who you are and what your made of. So keep moving on till your out of breath cause it'll be never till it's over."

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18 Name: Dante : 2006-08-08 02:10 ID:aYcDQxJ1

Well, as a Bisexual male... I'd hit it =P (I'd never tell him that though, ha!) Soooo... yeah, he's pretty cute. Maybe we need to continue working on his wardrobe? I mean, he still does give off a bit of "geek" vibe... but if he's cocky and funny, then that shouldn't matter as much I'd think...

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19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-08 03:35 ID:htAfsi/6

I was in a store today and a girl noticed my Madman (anime distributor among other things) hoody and said she liked it and showed me that she was wearing a Fullmetal Alchemist hoody. She asked where I got mine and I said at Supanova, a pop culture expo. And then it just drifted off as I was too shy to speak to her. She left and I instantly regreted it. I spent the rest of the day swearing at myself for being such a dickhead and not talking to her. I tried to find her after, but I couldn't.

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20 Name: Haruhi : 2006-08-08 06:43 ID:lHb0ztN9

Hmm...this seems to be a matter of luck rather than a matter of style. What kind of wardrobe is this friend of yours wearing now? As a girl, I'd have to say I'm attracted to dressy button-up shirts with collars and nice pants(PLEASE TO GAWD NO COWBOY eyes, they burneth with PAIN!x.x). Ties are sexy, too. Especially geeky ties, like ones with binary on them, or like my Art History teacher who wears a different tie every day, ranging from the Three Stooges to Spiderman. He's awesome.XD Remember, keep a little hint of his interests in his wardrobe; that way, he'll attract girls that are to his liking as well as her's. That's why I recommend the tie thing.

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21 Name: gingersoll : 2006-08-08 08:25 ID:VXFS/SsJ

I usually just some to these forums to laugh and remember what being a geeky kid was like (no internet avalible when I was in highschool...), but I have to butt in and say that in post 19, Secret Admirer, has stated something any young person who feels hopeless about girls (or boys! I've known many women who complained they were to shy/introverted to get close to men) should listen to. It isn't about failing or winning (whatever that is). It is all about trying.

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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-08 23:01 ID:htAfsi/6


Yeah, it wasn't that I wanted a girlfriend right then. I just hate myself for not trying. It doesn't matter what happened after.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-09 03:14 ID:gsR5rkkB

All I know is that if you seek it you won't find it.

All you can really do is just be an awesome guy. Like me, I'm a pretty awesome dude.

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24 Name: Dante : 2006-08-09 13:55 ID:aYcDQxJ1

A lot of what you say is true, Haruhi, but I also have the dilemma that... well, if I stick around my friend when he's trying to pick up women, they'll usually gravitate towards me (even when I'm in the background), and then he gets all jealous and mopey for the rest of the night, and eventually lashes out at me.

25 Name: Haruhi : 2006-08-10 08:12 ID:9WbqUkLB


Hehe, I understand.^_^ Hmm...maybe bring a woman along with you as your date or something. If you're already taken, women won't gravitate towards you so much, theoretically. Well, at least the decent ones that your friend would probably be interested in wouldn't gravitate towards you so much. Make sure you're not unconciously flirting, too, like paying attention to other girls. Keep your eyes on your friend and/or the girl you bring along. Also, make sure the girl knows the whole deal with your friend. Us girls love helping out with this kind of stuff. Mostly.XD Actually, she might be valuable in helping out.

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26 Name: Dante : 2006-08-16 13:33 ID:wozt91ky

Well, my friend and I went to a party the other night, and now I have realized that, in fact, my friend is still barely approaching women... He only talked to ONE woman at this one party, and that was a friend of mine who he had already met twice. =/

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27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-16 18:54 ID:SjonGTZh

Yes! pound on the homosexuals frilly thoughts!