Thursday, July 14, 2011

I Wanna Be God

Ben Ferguson of Memphis Fox News took to the streets to see if anyone could answer this question: "Can you name the candidate who is running for president who believes that if he is a good person, he will get his own planet?"

The answer is Mitt Romney or Jon Huntsman, both of whom are Mormons. Part of Mormon doctrine is that all good Mormon men get to become Gods of their own planet. Jesus’ Dad was once a man who became a God and had a kid who is now also a God.

"Would you vote for someone for president who believes that if they are a good person, you will get their own planet?" Ferguson asked passersby, "You want your own planet, don't you?"

Mr. Ferguson’s intent was to ridicule Mormonism. Tennessee has a history of anti-Mormonism, but I found the question pertinent.

Would I vote for someone who hoped to rule a planet one day? Damn straight I would! How refreshing to vote for someone who thought he had a real chance at become a God rather than settle for the normal political hubris of demi-god.

And would I want to be God of my own planet some day? Absolutely. Sure I know how hard it is to be God. I’ve seen the Futurama episode where Binder becomes God (Godfellas, 3/17/02), but I still think I could pull it off.

I would probably do away with a few things. People for one. Actually that might just do it for me. But if I had to have people I would do away with free will. Why make a world where moms can kill their babies and get away with it? To give Nancy Grace a job? Not worth it.

And what is so great about free will anyway? If I didn’t have it, would I miss it? No. If people only had desires that were kind and just, would we long for murder and mayhem? I doubt it.

People tell me that God had to give us free will so that we could freely choose to love him. Of course if we don’t love God we burn in hell for eternity, so how free is that love anyway? But if this really matters, I’d create a world where you didn’t have to love Me. Really what do I care if humans love Me? I’m God for My sake!

And I’d do away with heaven and hell also. In my world people would die and become compost thereby helping other life to grow. This is much better than the narcissism of eternal life.

Some Mormons are complaining that becoming a God is a minority position among Mormons. Too bad. What’s wrong with a religion that goes for the gold? Stick to your guns, Mormons! And good luck with those planets, and the presidency.


forrest said...

What's really "beyond religion" is God.

Making fun of silly religions isn't beyond anything; it's a substitute for explaining whatever religion you know that isn't silly. You probably know at least as much about religions in general as I do, & considerably more about Judaism, which (even if you don't think that men lying with men while eating shrimp is an abomination) does serve as a lens for viewing God. (It's not as if we didn't need all the good lenses we've got!)

I've read some really great stuff from you! Has the flow of that shut down?

ADA said...

I actually think there's plenty of great stuff in this post, woven in with the "trickster fun-making" of several religions at once. Vintage Rabbi Rami - please keep it coming, Rev.

TheNote said...

I didn't know the flow of thought about becoming a God - has changed - I thought it was Taught that way . . But then, i remember when people of color (well, okay, black people) were carrying the "Mark of Cain" and could not belong - now, they are on the "I am a Mormon" commercial - (in fact, i remember when it needed to be "Latter Day Saints" - but, the commercial - and the Broadway Show - changed all that . . . Rami, I'm sure grateful you're up for God Status . . it wouldn't do for me at all . . . I'd be glad to become compost, i hope it's part of a beautiful garden . . . smiles to you, -g-

Claire said...

We're all God already, anyway.

andrea perez said...

Mormonism might seem "silly" to people, but on surface inspection of any of the other major religions, we have a lot of "silliness" to get over: from our major prophet talking to bushes, god's son rising from the dead and walking around for awhile , or prophet gets a one way chariot to heaven..I'm wondering about the ethics behind all this foolishness.
Mormons just have newer gobblygoop to get over...what they seem to do is take care of each other when they are in trouble...when will the supposed tea party "christians" in this nation start doing the same with universal health care and science funding for the Webb telescope.
So if thinking you get your own planet means you help your neighbors out..or that god personally handed you a set of laws on some mountain a long time ago means you have to act like a beacon for the nations or if you think there are bunnies handing out eggs and someone died for YOUR sins means you act grateful for the sacrifice and help others then so be it.

Mike Smoot said...

Common now, this was truly funny and witty as usual. If he said the similar things about Christians I hope I would laugh as well as I are one.

That said, Andrea Perez makes some excellent points. In the end, a person's (or religion's) actions speak louder to me than their words or beliefs. If more religions lived as Mormons did this would be a much kinder, gentler and supportive world.

terri.hoagland said...

I think wanting to become G_d is wrong, it is not very humble as a Jew to want to become G_d nor is it humble for a Mormon to become G_d, it is very wrong. Arrogance can be very evil; however G_d understands and loves all beings no matter what, o Rabbi your arrogance is evil and you know it.

terri.hoagland said...

And a Jew is a Jew and you know it Rabbi.

terri.hoagland said...

Mormons also believe that blacks have been cursed by G-d, they are wrong with many beliefs; however they are nice folks, but I would never vote for a Mormon, they are twisted with false beliefs that are immoral unto the everyday stream of people. I know all about their beliefs and all about their books and history. I like Mormons but they are not right. Black people were never cursed.

terri.hoagland said...

And Rabbi you are the dust of the earth just like all Jews and you know it, we are dirt and you know what that means, but others do not understand, we Jews do.