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Things to do to annoy your roommate (Author: Unknown)

1. Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to her before she goes to class.




5. Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes everyday. Then, one day, get rid of the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the empty cage, and tell your roommate, "I was curious."



8. Never speak to your roommate directly. If you need to ask or tell her something, go to another room and call her on the phone.

9. Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of water. When she brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go to sleep. If she ever refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie on the bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making annoying gagging sounds, until he/she does so.

10. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If she asks about it, say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist...."





15. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books, all the time. Eventually, think up melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your roommate. If she tells you to stop, act offended and spend the day in bed.

16. Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn't obey them, give her tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns until she pays the tickets.

17. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate inquires, tell her, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."







24. Rollerskate up and down the hallway. Every time you see your roommate, crash into her and knock her down. Apologize, and say that she looked like "the enemy."

25. Put headphones on your roommate while she is sleeping, and subliminally teach her to speak Spanish, play the trombone, and memorize all the major imports and exports of each African nation.


27. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you upon sight. If she refuses, insist that she do 100 push-ups. Keep saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to take care of you any more."



