Saturday, February 17, 2007

You read HOW many books at a time?! *thud* / Porn / War photos

I think I amazed Amos earlier today when he asked me what books I was reading: some true-crime stuff, the two that Harmony bought me for Christmas, the ones I got at the book sale a while ago for free, the ONION, and Bathroom Readers. (yes, "amazed Amos" is deliberate because of the same initial syllable sounds) He doesn't have time to do a lot of reading for fun, which is understandable. Guess all my free books might be loaned to people WITH that time, haha! That is also why he and his friends are not getting books as birthday presents from me anytime soon... sorry, guys! Not that I don't love them any less (PLATONICALLY, you pervs!), but I like to know that my gifts will be enjoyed!

Just checked blogs: Steph wishes everyone a Happy Valentine's Day with a huge heart, Spoz has the usual weekend roundup, Dawn loves her boyfriend / flexible boss / her mom's generosity (cushioning is good!) even as she wants her to look for a new job, and Randal has the usual assortment of posts! At least something exists to my eye this week, as opposed to last week since it's more than three lines long... there's also a couple of posts about porn and his feelings on it.

Oh dear, that's one argument I wouldn't want to get into with certain people on the Internet, but I must say he has the ability to make good points. I clearly don't, as witnessed in certain arguments with people I no longer talk to! (up to you to decide whether the porn arguments had something to do with it or not :P) I think he was THISCLOSE to mentioning Japanese tentacle porn / hentai, but decided (thankfully) to let us use our imaginations AKA spare us the gory details. Monks, a real-life homeless cocaine addict at Metrotown (too long since I've been there), and certain teachings also found their way into his writings this week: interesting stuff, to be sure!

P.S. I don't have to spend prolonged time with certain people tomorrow, yay! :D

Today's Accidental Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

On January 24, 2006, a Colombian man accidentally shot his nephew to death while trying to cure his hiccups by pointing a revolver at him to scare him. After shooting 21-year-old university student David Galvan in the neck, his uncle, Rafael Vargas, 35, was so distraught he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide. The incident took place while the two were having drinks with neighbors. Galvan started to hiccup and Vargas, who works as a security guard, said he would use the home remedy for hiccups of scaring him. He pulled out his gun, pointed it at Galvan, and it accidentally went off.

Culled from: Reuters
Generously submitted by: Paradox


Well, he cured him of the hiccups, didn't he?


Follow-Up Du Jour!

clearfield begs to differ with Teena's condemnation of Costco coffins:

"I bought two Costco coffins which came packed in Styrofoam and heavy cardboard. There was nothing wrong with them, and they are a true bargain. They are for future planned use (maybe twin beds for visiting guests)."

Okay, so maybe they're not so bad after all...


The Comtesse Recommends...

Party Monster by James St. James

I just finished reading Party Monster (aka Disco Bloodbath), an endlessly entertaining book detailing the club kid murder of drug dealer Angel Melendez by New York party king Michael Alig, as told by his hilarious "best friend" James St. James. James' fabulously camp retelling of the rise and fall of club kid culture left me enduring several bleary-eyed mornings because I couldn't put the book down at night. Highly recommended!



David forwarded me a link to an article in Mother Jones magazine about the Iraq War "Trophy Photos." It contains links to many horrible images of the war, and it also asks all the right questions about the motivation behind them. Very interesting.


Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Just when you think that the magnificent Madame Talbot can't possibly come up with anything cooler, she comes out with a series of Framed Curio Exhibits / Tombstone Paintings / a breathtaking Absinthe poster. If she keeps this up, I'm going to spontaneously combust!!!

Well, he cured him of the hiccups, didn't he?

HAHAHAHAHA! So true! Bit of a permanent cure, but whatever works! ;)


Wrong information, Exacto knives, and accidentally hitting Danny with the front door

When Henry picked me up, I thanked him for the ride and asked what he did today: worked at a coffee shop (where he's been for a couple of months) and had lunch. He was earlier than either of us thought... when he said "majorly late," I thought he would get to my place at 4! Good thing we were earlier, haha. He remembered that he couldn't drive me next week, but could drive me back home from the Awana Leader Dinner: he was given the wrong information by Chris, who told him that it was at Anita's! I thought it was in the basement or somewhere on church grounds as usual, but the location could have changed in the week we both weren't there! We passed Chris on the bridge, and both of us waved to him. Once we got to church, I said hi to Margaret, who had apparently put gel on her bangs. Then I made a point of asking Auntie Rebecca where the dinner next week would be - when she said it was in the basement, I was like: "SEE, Henry? I TOLD YOU SO! Go do something to Chris later!" (I couldn't say "kill" or "beat up" because of all the kids around :P)

I told Melia that I needed a ride next week, and she suggested that I ask Michelle: she could do it, and gave me both her home and cell numbers in case I'd lost them. (I had her home number, but not her cell) Talked to little Wilson and Rachel briefly: that dragon dance at Coquitlam Mall sounded fun! Some of the kids were in shiny new outfits for Chinese New Year, and they did some crafts for it today too. Amos and I both wondered why the Christmas candy was out, and received the answer that the candy was too old to keep around for long even though it expires in October: free candy for the leaders? SCORE! We worked together at Auntie Vivian's direction to get the tape and mini-gifts of stockings / snowmen / candy off candy canes. He asked if I wanted to use the Exacto knife, but I figured he better use it or else I'd cut myself... maybe not, but you never know with my bad coordination sometimes!

Talked to Andrew for a bit about Chinese New Year: seems his cousin was just sitting there at some family dinner EXPECTING lucky money... he got scolded for not greeting various family members, haha. Luckily, Andrew has more sense, even if he WAS jokingly asking me and Auntie Vivian for red envelope money! Auntie Vivian just laughed him off, while I reacted similarly since I'm not married yet! (but then the teen girls were doing that to Anita last year since she was married the previous year!) Lots of dinners / feasts / eating, for sure... I went around to see what Ian was doing with his pencil and pig. When Tina was finished gluing the pig to the pencil with the glue gun, he tried getting his leader Mike's attention. So I told him to go wash his hands while telling Mike that he was done, and he asked me which washroom he should use: eh, the usual one!

I went to the bathroom as an excuse to wash my hands with the orange pumice gel: Chrystal agrees that it's pretty cool. Could definitely use some in our places, haha. Later, Andrew asked what the "cleaning smell" was: Amos, Jason, Golden, and I had NO idea! (it certainly wasn't Purell, hehe) People teased Henry about his age and birthday beats later since his birthday was the day after Valentine's Day. On the way out, I didn't realize that Danny was behind one of the front doors, so I accidentally hit his head with the door! Benedict termed that "awesome," and I asked whether Danny was okay: he seemed to be, so that was fine. Chris and Henry did some playfighting on the way to his car, and Vivian had to tell them to watch out several times since we were right behind them! Ah, boys will be boys...

Well, I'm hungry now... time to eat some salmon! Or maybe noodles, I dunno...


Dreaming of the men in blue / Unexpected rides / Blogthings

This entry is backdated since I really got up at 2:40 and left at 3:25 after checking my friends page and eating something. :P

Man, I hate not being able to sleep! I just could NOT sleep till 7 AM today. Since I don't want to become dependent on certain things, I elected to just lie in bed awake. Nope, I didn't even go on the computer like I might normally. Guess I won't be making it out to Awana today, which means I should really sound profuse when apologizing to Melia by phone later!

When I did get to sleep, I had this interesting dream. I was watching this girl have a South African lunch in a huge group of people at cafeteria-style tables in a huge building. There were these uniformed people in blue (not policemen - I do not have a uniform fetish!) standing guard in the room in case something happened. One of the young male officers went over to the girl's table and asked her out in front of her parents and sister. The girl liked Officer Bill even though they'd never really met or had much interaction, but had to decline since her parents were there. She did ask him one curious question, though: "How tall are you?" The officer grinned at her and replied "5 foot 4, milady." He touched his brown hair and twinkled his blue eyes at her, then he was gone.

Later, the girl really wanted to find this guy to thank him for something, so she enlisted her sister to help. They went around all the tables and in many of the rooms until they ended up in a grey round dome. The person at the front desk told them that Bill had been sick for three days with bronchitis, but should be getting better at any time... she even showed them the stats sheet as evidence. They could go in and attempt to see him, but they had to go through a few floors of clothing and other merchandise first. This they did, encountering a problem when a whole section was blocked off with silver metal barriers similar to those at a huge event.

There was a huge yellow-and-black sign proclaiming "LOW-TRAFFIC AREA" in big letters, so they asked a passerby how to get in that section. "Do the limbo!" he answered. There was just enough room, so they inched along the floor until they got to an elevator full of stuffed animals. After wondering what to do, they spotted another elevator just behind this one which would take them to the floor where Officer Bill was. The girl's sister wished her luck and started the journey back to their parents. Our heroine found the officer with no problem, and told him all sorts of lovely things. He was receptive, and was about to kiss her (aww...) when the dream ended since the phone was beeping at me. It wasn't anything important, either... "NATURALLY YOURS"... oh my!

Dang, this is the second dream I've had that I can remember in which the phone has interrupted some romantic action! Then there are the dreams I've had in which my mom or others have prevented that from happening... what the heck is wrong with my subconscious?!

Edit: OH MY. Henry JUST called and asked whether I'd found a ride. Since I said NO, he said that he COULD pick me up. I don't care if he's majorly late! THANK GOODNESS! :D

You Are 52% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: High

You're quite sexy, and you're probably at least partially aware of your powers.
Don't let your self-doubt ever get the best of you. You're even more attractive than you know.

You Are 56% California

You're fairly Californian. Unless you're really from California, you should be stoked!

They don't call this "Hollywood North" for nothing, haha. ;)

You Are Adventurous... Sometimes

You like an adrenaline rush as much as the next person. You like your thrills in small doses.
You're generally pretty calm and level-headed. But sometimes you have to go wild and have a crazy adventure.

You Are 20% NYC

At best, you're a tourist. At worst, you're a poseur.

You Are 49% Homophobic

You're definitely somewhat homophobic. You don't feel comfortable around gay people.
Stop living in the 20th century - and get yourself some gay friends.

Meh, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I guess it depends on who they might be, haha. But... just because I wasn't sure to most of the questions? I dunno... this quiz is bogus! (and the only reason I'm posting the results is for posterity)

You Are Destined to Rule the World

You have the makings of a very evil dictator...
Which is both kind of cool and kind of scary!
Will you rule the world? Maybe. Maybe not.
But at least you know that you could.


Storm suck / McDonald's "Old-School" Cheeseburger

Today's Sucky Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A Chinese paraglider may have suffocated or frozen to death after being sucked upwards into a storm cell at a rate up to 20 metres per second. The body of Beijing man He Zhongpin, 42, was found by the Westpac Rescue helicopter 25 kilometres south-east of Bingara in northern NSW about 2 PM on February 15, 2007. Mr. He, a member of the Chinese national paragliding team, was in training for the Paragliding World Championships, which start next week in nearby Manila. The paraglider, who had 10 years' experience in the sport, was last seen about 3 PM on Wednesday as thunderstorms were moving into the area.

Hang Gliding Federation of Australia general manager Chris Fogg said Mr. He was probably sucked into the cumulonimbus storm system and propelled to high altitude. "We assume he was taken to an altitude where he may have suffocated and may have become radically chilled," he said. "At the top of thunderstorms is typically where hail forms, and there's lots of agitation and turbulence. I understand he was above 9000 metres, so that's below zero [degrees]. This system 1 sounds as if it was pretty strong - he could have been taken up at 1200 feet a minute and beyond. "Most pilots will try to get down to the ground before they get close to something like that."

Culled from: Sydney Morning Herald


Even more amazingly - a German woman was sucked up into the same storm system and SURVIVED!!! Now that's Girl Power!


Follow-Up Du Jour!

A couple of days ago, I featured Costco coffins as a morbid trinket. Teena writes with a warning about their poor quality:

"The Costco caskets are awful. They look extremely cheap and are often delivered dented / scratched. We have had a couple bought by people and brought to our funeral home, and they end up looking absolutely horrible (and not in a nice creepy way)."

So, morbid buyer beware!


Wretched Recommendations!

Guy has a film recommendation:

Threads (1984)

"I'd like to comment on the recommendation of The Day After. It is a fairly good morbid movie, lacking in some areas but generally good in a mid-eighties, made for TV movie sort of way. A better film from that time though is Threads. It's set in the English midlands and follows a group of people through a nuclear war. The special effects aren't as good as The Day After, but the story's more compelling and grim. Some characters (like the protagonist's husband) disappear never to be seen again, as would happen in a real blast. Some perish immediately afterward, and some suffer slow deaths. The ending is a real downer, but I shan't say anything to spoil it.

"In The Day After, there always seems to be an underlying taint of American optimism despite the grimness of the story and despite the sad ending. There's none of that in Threads. All hope eventually dies. I'd recommend that one instead."


Morbid Link Du Jour!

Jacob Weisberg of Slate wrote a very entertaining article on the Deathstyles of the Rich and Famous. It's a great read!

Thanks to nightwisp for the link.

McDonald's "Old-School" Cheeseburger

Cook the burgers using the regular hamburger recipe and place one THIN slice of American cheese on the crown side before adding meat patty. Don't use Kraft singles or Velveeta. (or anything termed as "American processed cheese FOOD") Use only real American cheese. That is KEY! Please Note: Most slices of American cheese are too big for McDonald's cheeseburgers. So take about 1/4" off two edges to make a smaller square.


Friday, February 16, 2007

Here's to Kim Jong-Il and idiot broadcasters! (only not really)

Waited 20 minutes for Eric, and his explanation was that he forgot about a file that had to be on his USB port. (Driver? Meh.. if Corey were online - which he isn't, I've checked - he'd tell me that I'm using the wrong terminology, but whatever...) I was going to ask whether he couldn't check that at home, but figured it was for tonight's meeting. We listened to the hockey game, and he decided that it was MY fault when Chicago scored to make it 1-0.... yeah sure! It also apparently was my fault when Matt Cooke broke a 15-game scoring drought to tie the game 1-1, but he emphasized that it was a GOOD THING! I decided to head things off at the pass by bringing up a certain subject: there'll be discussion whether I do a certain thing or not, as I've learned these past couple of weeks. Eric says the only way to stop it is to do something else which I don't really foresee myself doing, however. He also brought up more things that I haven't seen yet - if he's going to do this regularly, I might have to change the day I do something on a weekly basis! No, I don't think I do "selective viewing" of webpages! :P

Due to the delay, we got to the church late: he told me to sit down in a chair while he did some stuff downstairs. At first, I sat next to Raymond since it was the closest empty seat, but then switched seats after singing so I was sitting next to Jeremy and near Chung / Phil / Vivian / Rich / Billy. Why not sit near people that I know well? *grin* I told Phil that Jon had left for Toronto this morning, and he said that he'd eaten fried chicken alone at home since Grace is still in Chicago: he is leaving soon to be with her for 12 days, and sent a Valentine's Day card which got there in time! (phew) Signed Fellowship birthday cards for Lesley and Ivan, and got many handouts for the meeting... these included three different versions of the budget, haha. We laughed at the directions on the slide which told us to take a deep breath before the last line of the birthday song for Dylan, Lesley, and Ivan... Jeremy joked that he'd actually sing it, hehe. Jen thought it was MY birthday, and asked me about it: mine was in September (she attended the celebration for that!) and we spell our names differently too! Imagine if the spellings were the same... eep.

Karen's blurb for Dylan included how he loved Committee meetings so much that he attended one on his own birthday... this is true! Lesley thanked us and brought up Kim Jong-Il, whose birthday is also today: we should remember that many North Koreans and others died because of his birth, haha. I turned to Jeremy and said that I'd heard earlier that the dictator's birthday was today: we both wondered what Jon would make of it were he there, heh. I was definitely wondering the same thing when Karen told us that the last birthday belonged to a man who was so much like her brother, but that you couldn't marry your brother! Jeremy remarked to me that you could do that maybe in the Deep South, haha. SO TRUE!

Rich and Jeremy did what they wanted with certain motions, we discussed the long-promised and just now-delivered Fellowship directory (I saved one for Jon because he's on the list now!), and Jeremy noted the early trend of the meeting: "Alan moving, and Ivan seconding... it's like they're the only two people here!" I was surprised I was on the minutes of the last meeting as a seconder, but I guess I did do that at some point. Andrea, Jeremy, Connie, Rich and others got some motioning / seconding action in later, so that was fine! Someone asked Billy where Stella was: she can't make it anymore because Fellowship plays havoc with Benjamin's sleep schedule... so does church, but one day to get up earlier than 9:30-10 AM is better than TWO! At least I gave him birthday cards for himself, Benjamin, and Eddie while I saw him in line for the food, haha. Dianne passed me another piece of pavlova cake (no flour?!), Randal passed me a plate (when they were right in front of me, nice!), and Maisie passed us some mini cookies.

Talked briefly to Jen and Dawn: Dawn had a present for Steph, who couldn't make it tonight since her co-workers were treating her to dinner / drinks somewhere. (she texted both Eric and her committee about this earlier) So that present went to me: I certainly will make it to church on Sunday if Dawn won't / can't, heh. While the meeting was going on, we had pizza / cookies / birthday cake / fruit. Jeremy looked pretty tired, but he DID get up at 5:45 AM to make it to work by 7:25... that early schedule has its pros and cons! Rich ducked out for a bit, and said he knew the hockey score when he got back. He talked to Phil and Chung about Jonathan: yeah, he DOES have this anger thing going on that even his mom notices! (one could argue he's always been like that, but maybe he DOES need a special Bible Study?) Later, he and I encouraged Jeremy to just say what was on his mind about a certain budget item: he's a member and could do so even as a non-member! (but we all know being a member gives you more cachet, haha)

After the meeting, some Daniel girls came upstairs to see what was going on. Vania took home some pizza, and I talked to her about HAPPY KING, which is the restaurant near T&T where we went for lunch on Sunday. (Karen Lew thought I meant some place in Metrotown, heh) Dylan offered me some of the whole pizza that he had leftover when I asked him what sort it was (vegetarian pesto?), but I figured I didn't really need it... imagine trying to carry a gift bag, a mini body bag, AND a pizza box! Oh no, he could have it as far as I was concerned! Dawn asked about my moving situation, and I told her that it was resolved: ten days to move out from the time you've found a place and kinda packed, sure! Ten days to look for a place, pack, AND move?! NO FREAKIN' WAY!

Jeremy went out and came back in since he thought he left his Bible at church. He had it in his bag all along, so he left again to bike home in the drizzle. I told him that it was raining when we got to the church, but I didn't know about now. Vania admired the artsy picture of the cross on the wall: ah, those Chinese Congregation people! Someone asked where my sister was, so Eric and I said that she was doing something for her birthday. Karen Choo wondered when Steph's birthday was: today! She felt bad that she didn't know till just then, but my sister's probably not one to broadcast it to all and sundry. (I was, way back in the day... but not now since I'm old :P) When she left, she said that we ought to do a meal out someday because it had been a long time since we'd done that: sure, I'd like that!

Downstairs, Eric asked Chung if he'd received his RSVP: he had, but was a little confused as to how he'd gotten the email address. He pointed to me, and I explained to Karen So that Eric had contacted me over MSN after Fellowship last week to ask how he was supposed to RSVP when he couldn't find it on the wedding invitation! Luckily, I had the version with the email address on it: once I gave that to him and he replied, he said he had to sleep! (apparently there were three different versions of the thing) We also discussed multigrain pizza with Dylan before heading our separate ways: Lesley thought that Eric could go out for coffee with Dylan / Karen / Chung, but he can't HAVE any! (and he wanted to go home anyhow) On the way home, Eric stopped to fill up and joked that I'd be blogging all night at the townhouse if / when I happened to stay over. Probably not, but you never know! I told him that my parents SAID they were going on vacation, but that they didn't know where they were going or even IF they'd go! He then gave me a dubious look: yeah, I share that "..... okay....." emotion! Then we talked more about a certain subject: you wish that something would happen, dude! Probably not going to, and if it does, it's certainly not going to be as a result of blog entries! At least he saved a penny on gas!

Of course I'll be over for 24 on Monday barring bus problems, no matter the vacation status! We officially found out that the Canucks won 2-1 in a shootout over the Blackhawks... Trevor Linden and Brendan Morrison scored in that extra time. Jan Bulis made Roberto Luongo do a BIG SAVE when he turned over the puck to the opposition's Martin Havlat with five seconds left in OT... do you have a HOCKEY BRAIN?! Eric apologized to me for yelling at "the idiot Team 1040 broadcasters" because they said that Bulis was brought back up from the minors when he really recovered from an injury - they told their listeners other wrong information too, but I forgot what it was. No worries, since I go all ranty on the stupid idiots who use incorrect spelling and grammar, especially if they're simple errors that an elementary school student could understand! Now I need to go sleep myself, since I think I have to bus it tomorrow. If I get up early enough, I can even see if there's any discounted chocolate left at the store! I think Henry said he'd be around to give me a ride home... yes, he did. As long as I have a ride home, it's all good... and I'll ask about the ride situation tomorrow, haha. (he may have told me, and I forgot...)


Dream: Not being fully clothed and ZITS

I had a weird dream where I was in a state of undress in a green-and-black house. My mom had invited Auntie Christine and Auntie Susanna over before an afternoon church service, and I was in a bedroom with my sister. Sister decided to leave early while I was still sleeping - yes, dreams of sleeping AGAIN. I noticed that it was dark outside when I woke up, and went out of the room... I was majorly embarrassed when I saw Auntie Susanna just sitting at the dining room table! She didn't seem to notice my state of undress, and told me that my mom would be coming home soon to deal with me since it was 7:46 PM and I was supposed to be up at 2. That didn't sound good, but I washed up anyhow. Mom got home and wanted me to do a LOT of dishes and housework.

Suddenly, my friends came to the rescue, and we were all transported into the world of the comic Zits. We tried separating Rich and Amy for band purposes, which didn't work. Jeremy, Hector, Sara, and a bunch of other school people were auditioning for bands in the assembly room / gym... such a crowd of students! Eventually, we won it all and were praised unconditionally. Interesting dream, but I'm not sure what brought it on. Oh well, I'm sure I can competently figure out something for later... ;)

Yay, now the fan is making MORE noise! Eric should believe me, or I'll make him do so.

Your Boss Is Not Psycho

Even though you might hate your boss at times, your boss is pretty fair and upstanding.
If you're having trouble with your boss, you may just be having trouble with authority in general.

You Are 24% Texas

You're as welcome in Texas as a skunk at a lawn party.

You Are 12% Massachusetts

You Yankees loving homo! You probably think Starbucks coffee tastes better than Dunkin Donuts.

You Would Choose Love

You'd rather have a true soulmate than a private jet.
You're one of the few who would really do it.


Seven Sins, Valentine's Day Advice

Tonight, it's worth having this minty help to sleep - at least, I hope it makes me drowsy in time! Sleestak tried talking to me again, but I wasn't in a talkative mood since I was busy tagging and updating. Then Mike mistakenly messaged me to ask who Curly was and why he was dead, haha... not a problem for me that his mouse finger is too fast for him!

You will die of Envy
You will die from the sin of Envy. You envy practically everyone. Your end will come in a drunken or drugged haze, and your insatiable desire to have it all. That, or you'll be shot by the cops trying to break into a celebrity's house.
Which Sin will be your Death? at

HAHAHAHA! I don't know about THAT result!

Valentine's Day Advice
From QuizGalaxy to Leslie
"Discarded pizza boxes are an excellent source of cheese (as a gift for your sweetheart)."
What is your Valentine's Day advice? at


Death slang, dead bodies, McDonald's BigXtra!

Today's Cooked Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A man from the Russian internal republic Buryatia in eastern Siberia has been sentenced to 14 years in prison for cooking the flesh of his friend after killing him during a quarrel. He will serve his sentence at a maximum security prison camp. Chingis Bubeev killed a man who had visited him, cut his body into pieces, and used his flesh to cook pelmeni, a Siberian dish resembling ravioli. Bubeev could not consume all the meat, and sold some to his neighbors, saying it was horse meat. The rest of the victim's remains were thrown out near the killer's house, where local residents found them the next day.

Culled from: Mosnews.Com
Generously submitted by: Michael


Well, isn't it obvious what sort of meat goes in pel-MEN-i?


Follow-Up Du Jour!

Gregory sent me an excellent email that I wanted to share with you. It sums up so perfectly why I think it's a shame that the CHP officer who leaked the photos of Nikki Catsouras' remains is being punished:

"Dear Comtesse,

I find your comment on the CHP officer disturbing. As one that commutes at high speed down a dangerous highway every day, I think of Nikki Catsouras with every wreck I see. If he leaked the photographs, fine. Nikki's stupidity or ignorance in driving that fast led to her death. It should be a lesson to us all. Thank you. If it were not for the MFDJ, I would have never heard of Nikki or gained a new respect for driving safely, even if I average about 80 mph."

Bravo, Gregory - I could not have said it better myself. If her death can serve as a warning to others, then certainly some good has come from it.


Morbid Link Du Jour!

Here's a site that the world was screaming out for: - a list of Death Euphemisms. Definitely a site to visit before you're cooking for the Kennedys!

Thanks to Freaky Kittie for the link.


"My Brush With Morbidity" by Starla

"I've meant to send this story in for some time, but kept managing to not get around to it, so I finally have bitten the bullet: here goes. A little background: I was born in Oklahoma and lived there till I was almost fourteen, when my mother Lorraine married my stepdad Larry. We all moved to Southern Delaware where he is from, so this would be in early summer 1994.

"Shortly after we arrived, we went to Ocean City, Maryland, about an hour and change from our home. I had never seen the ocean before, so it was a real big treat for me, and I really took to the water and salt air and sand.

"On the second day down there, the waves were kind of rough, but lots of people were in the water. I was fooling around in water maybe four and a half feet deep, which is pretty deep when you consider that my final adult height is four feet ten. There was a black lady next to me who was pulling a little boy around in an inflatable boat. I wasn't paying much attention to them, but suddenly I saw the lady quickly turn the boat back and start pushing it toward shore. She gestured at me to follow her, but since I didn't know her and didn't really understand what she meant, I hesitated, and that's when I felt something bump against me.

"I glanced down and saw a woman who I thought was swimming underwater. I stepped aside, thinking to give her room to pass me, but she bumped me again. When I looked closer, that's when I saw she was no swimmer. She was face-down under the surface of the water, wearing what I think was cutoff shorts and a red or pink bikini top, and she had long light brownish hair that floated all around her upper body and brushed against my arms when I reached down automatically to do what? Push her away from me? Help her? I didn't know then and I don't know now. All I do know is her head kind of rolled to the side and I saw her face and it was all bloated up and a sick greenish color and her eyes looked like they were just whites, no iris or pupil.

"I screamed and headed for land, but lost my footing and went under, taking about a gallon of salt water and coming up choking and still screaming. My stepfather Larry heard me and saw me struggling, and ran in to help me. He told me later he thought I'd gotten stung by a jellyfish, which is pretty common in the area. He got to me before I was halfway to the beach and picked me up, and I was crying so hard I couldn't tell him what was wrong. He kept asking me 'Where does it hurt?' and I finally managed to point to the body, which was floating about thirty or so feet from us by that point, going in and out with the waves. He finally saw it for what it was, and ran back to land with me.

"Meanwhile, the lady with the little boy had gone into shore and very quietly alerted the lifeguard. I guess she didn't want to upset her son or cause a panic. So all of this happened in the space of a very short period of time, and soon after I was back on the sand, the Beach Patrol and the police were going into the water. They pulled the body out and covered it up with a sheet of some kind, and kept shooing away the people who crowded in to try and get a look.

"We found out later that the body belonged to a woman who'd gotten falling-down drunk, and slipped over the side of a party boat a couple days before. Apparently everybody on that boat was so drunk, they didn't even miss her for several hours.

"Needless to say, we left the beach right then, and it was quite some time before I wanted to go back again. It's been twelve years and I'm all grown up now, but I still keep my eyes open when I go swimming in the sea.

"Of course, if this had happened today, I would definitely have tried to get a good look at the floater, so I could pass on the gory details to fellow Morbidites."

Wow - talk about a LITERAL brush with morbidity!

McDonald's BigXtra!

McDonald's roll-out of the BigXtra! is another bomb dropped on the battlefield of the latest burger war. Burger King took the first shot by introducing the Big King - a pretty good clone of McDonald's signature Big Mac, with a bit more meat and no middle bun. Then Mickey D's fired back with a clone of Burger King's popular Whopper, to be exact. That's just under 5 ounces of ground beef, stacked on a huge sesame seed bun, with the same ingredients you would find piled on the Whopper - lettuce, onion, tomato, ketchup, mayo, and pickles... plus McDonald's addition of a special spice sprinkled on the beef as it cooks. It's all very tasty. Especially if you like Whoppers. Today the Big Xtra! is less extra, having been shrunk down and renamed Big 'N Tasty.

1 large sesame seed bun (4 3/4-inch diameter)
5 ounces ground beef
seasoned salt
ground black pepper
2 teaspoons ketchup
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
1 tablespoon chopped onion
3 pickle slices (hamburger style)
1/2 cup chopped lettuce
1 large tomato slice
non-stick cooking spray

1. Form the ground beef into a very large patty on wax paper. Make it approximately 5 1/2 to 6 inches in diameter (the meat should shrink to the perfect size for the buns when cooked). Freeze this patty for a couple hours before cooking.
2. Grill the faces of the hamburger bun in a hot skillet over medium heat. Grill until the buns are golden brown. Leave pan hot.
3. Grill the frozen patty in the pan for 2 to 3 minutes per side. Sprinkle one side with seasoned salt and ground black pepper.
4. Prepare the rest of the burger by first spreading the 2 teaspoons of ketchup on the face of the top bun. Follow the ketchup with the tablespoon of mayonnaise.
5. Stack the onion onto the top bun next, followed by the pickles and lettuce. Add the tomato slice to the top of the stack.
6. When the beef patty is done cooking, use a spatula to arrange it on the bottom bun. Turn the top of the burger over onto the bottom and serve. Makes 1 hamburger.


Thursday, February 15, 2007

We're assembling a family dynasty to take over the church!

Certain people in RandomThought are being really stupid right now. I delete posts as I like, and nobody's going to stop me. It's not like I'll get banned for it, haha. (then again, that's what I thought with my corrections in RQ... still, my posts should NOT be dramatastic!)

Had a family dinner for my sister's birthday at Paterson Restaurant: it was pretty good with crab, beef and beans, and the other typical stuff. At least I didn't have any bitter melon, and my sibs still remember the time Grandma took us out for dinner at the restaurant near Save-On: THAT BITTER MELON WAS SO GROSS! We just told her it was good while making disparaging remarks about it in English, hehe. :D

Spent some of the dinner talking about my brother working for the church now as a pastoral intern... arbitrary hours rock! Sister joked that we were slowly assembling a family dynasty to take over ALL the church factions: seniors for Grandma, the admin stuff for Dad, the women for Mom, the teens for her, the little kids for me, and the guys for Jon. That would be sweet if that happened, but I'm just joking here: TOO MUCH conflict of interest! We had fun with my mom's pronunciation of "thrift," and refused to dignify my dad's lame jokes with appropriate answers. ("the chicken's not singing anymore... maybe it's humming or dead!") Then we talked about how certain people didn't know what "TLC" meant (for once, it wasn't my parents), and needed an umbrella to walk to her house from the front yard since it was lightly raining. No respect there for you, haha!

Certain other people think Wai Mui shouldn't have a family life because she's a pastor: I can name you a bunch of people who have lots of respect for her. She does a LOT for the various Chinese fellowship groups, takes care of her kids Hannah and Priscilla, and also has to take care of her disabled husband Rick! (he was a brilliant man before he was in the car accident which took away a lot of his brain function) It's a wonder that she has any time to herself, IF she has some! I know I wouldn't. Of COURSE she has to leave church at 2:30 to pick up her kids from school and such... what are they gonna do, walk to the church?! UGH. Okay, so that turned out more ranty than I intended. Bottom line is, RESPECT your pastor for what she does!

Jon said that Dallas was moving today to his new place near them, and was at Long's Noodle House when he called to see where he was. They went for Dragon Ball later, but I didn't want to join them: lotsa work to do yet for me! I was GOING to shelve the "going over to the townhouse next week" till later, but certain people assumed things they shouldn't have... AGAIN. Why am I not surprised? Jon said that the dinner with Harmony's parents on Tuesday (at the same restaurant) lasted about two hours: he'd wanted to read a book since he couldn't understand much of the conversation, but knew that would be rude. Not the thing to do around your girlfriend's parents, that's for sure! He thinks that our parents and her parents get along reasonably well since they talked for a LONG time... that's good, then. Poor bored brother, though! (at least Eric and I could talk to each other when Jon and Steph were out of town for those family lunches!) Steph was reading all her Toronto friends' blogs and the majority of the posts were all like "I just got back from shoveling TONS of snow!" She sent the SLB pics to Cecilia, who was amazed that Steph officially beat Jon... Tony didn't need to say he ate a lot just to impress us, but meh. We still did it!

Steph had her break from Western food tonight, what with lunch AND dinner out for her birthday tomorrow. Jon finally gave me the birthday card and such outside the restaurant, so I gave Grandma her Chinese New Year card in the car. She seemed to be okay with it, but did say that there was no need to give it to her. Too bad, I just did! Good thing I got Jon to sign all the other February / March cards during the AGM, especially with this ten-day trip he's taking to see Harmony and his other friends! Steph will be back there for Gilbert's wedding in August, but not before! Mom's planning some short family cruise to LA: four in one room and two in the other does NOT work logically, hello! Just have us three kids in one room, and the three older people in another! Eh, I guess we'll see how things go... I better be finished with a significant amount of work by the time May rolls around!


Dream of conjoined septuplets / NINE missed calls?!

I had a weird dream that started with me being jealous of what treats my brother got in a fruit market. My mom was going to give him his own cruise and stuff, for goodness sakes! So I stomped on a whole bunch of raspberries / strawberries / other such fruit before heading to the shop which sold CDs and books. I'd put a few items on hold and was going to pay for them, until someone said that they'd pay for them for me: sure, why not?

After that, the dream somehow switched to a bus stop where I was waiting for a 259 Granville bus. No such bus exists in real life around here, at least. I saw Jeff and talked to him for a while. He went on another bus, so I was left alone to wait for mine. I got off at a stone church, where Jeremy met me. He told me that we'd be looking after multiple births, so I thought that was cool. Little did we know that it would be quadruplets, quintuplets, and a set of conjoined septuplets with varying mental disabilities! We sang "BINGO" and tried entertaining them, and had to step on stone blocks over water to get to the washrooms. Also, we had to bathe the conjoined septuplets... the dream ended when I got the last of my NINE missed calls today! What the heck?! Stupid phone beeping at me! I think I'll go catch up on my sleep now, thanks!

Since the New Blogger search function isn't as good as the Old Blogger one was, I may have done the first one before. Oh well...

Your Brain is Purple

Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic.
Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries.


Sweet! Purple is one of my favorite colors! :D

You Are Pretty Happy

You generally have a happy, fulfilling life.
But things could be a little better, and deep down, you know it.
Maybe you need more supportive friends or a more challenging career.
Something is preventing you from being totally happy. You just need to figure out what it is!

You are a PC

You're practical, thrifty, and able to do almost anything.
Appearances and trends aren't important to you. You just like to get the job done.


Valentine's Day Morbid Facts! / McDonald's Big Mac Sauce ("Special Sauce")

Today's Exotic Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A young doctor in New Jersey has pleaded guilty to stealing a hand from a cadaver when he was a medical student and giving it to a stripper. The prosecutor said the 26-year-old doctor was a first-year medical student when he befriended the exotic dancer. Authorities said she asked for a hand and he came through. The hand was found in a jar on the woman's dresser. Friends said she called it "Freddy." The doctor's attorney said his client meant no disrespect, and removed the hand from a fully-dissected cadaver at med school. The lawyer said he had no idea what he did was illegal.

Culled from: WSBTV.Com
Generously submitted by: Faith


Of course, I had to save this one for Valentine's Day because this is surely one of the most romantic gestures I have ever seen. It's a crime that someone would be arrested for such an act of selflessness!


Update Du Jour!

And speaking of people being punished for acts of selflessness - I was saddened to hear that the California Highway Patrol Officer who leaked the photographs of the girl who stole her Daddy's Porsche and smashed into a tollbooth at a gazillion miles an hour, leaving her head a faceless empty shell has been identified. Poor guy - he was doing us all a favor by sharing the excellent photographs, and he's probably been fired or something for his kindness. Such an unfair world...

Thanks to Amos Quito for sending the link.


Morbid Valentine Contest Results!

I know you've been waiting to see the results of the Morbid Valentine Contest, haven't you? It was another excellent turn-out, but in the end, twistedprincess69 out-disturbed the competition to win a copy of Van Cosel. Congratulations!

Now, for your viewing pleasure, here are the top five entries. To everyone who entered and didn't win, thank you very much for participating. Better luck with next month's contest!


Morbid Link Du Jour!

For Valentine's Day, I thought I would share this morbid skeleton who has a lot of heart, courtesy of Bonnie:

"To enhance the experience, have the sound on while you make Mr. Bones dance to the music of That's Amore. You even get to choose whether you want him to have a normal appearance, be an X-ray, or even be a mutant. Enjoy!

"P.S. The translation of the page is this:

"Valentine's Day is the day to say 'I love you' to all those who deserve it.

"It's a day when the heart gets worked up and goes 'Thump! Thump! Thump!'

"Have fun with my heart!"


Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Lisa writes with some excellent news:

"Apparently, Costco has an overnight casket service. I'm rather partial to the 'Continental Silver Casket' for the budget price of $1699.99 myself. I may have to buy it and somehow turn it into a sofa."

McDonald's Big Mac Sauce ("Special Sauce")

If you like Big Macs, it's probably because of that tasty "secret" spread that is plopped onto both decks of the world's most popular double-decker hamburger. So what's so special about this sauce? After all, it's basically just Thousand Island dressing, right? Pretty much. But this sauce has a bit more sweet pickle relish in it than a typical Thousand Island salad slather. Also, I found that this clone comes close to the original with the inclusion of French dressing. It's an important ingredient: ketchup just won't do it. That, along with a sweet & sour flavor that comes from vinegar and sugar, makes this sauce go well on any of your home burger creations, whether they're Big Mac clones or not. This is the closest "special sauce" clone you'll find anywhere.

1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons French dressing
4 teaspoons sweet pickle relish
1 tablespoon finely minced white onion
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt

2. Place sauce in a covered container and refrigerate for several hours, or overnight, so that the flavors blend. Stir the sauce a couple of times as it chills. Makes about 3/4 cup.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

"We don't NEED a man! ... Isabel, MSN Mike since he knows how to work the church sound system!"

Man, I am on such a sugar high from too much candy...

Vivian S. picked me up at 5:45, and we were off to church. Her family's going on a two-week vacation to Edmonton, Toronto, and Israel since they want to follow the soccer World Cup this summer: lucky! She was in Mexico over the Christmas holidays, and saw an Ontario license plate: that's some road trip! However, the driver of that SUV had backed into a parking space, not realizing that there was a pole blocking it off. Way to ruin your vacation and your brand-new vehicle's back windshield! We saw this car with a Utah license plate, which is also some road trip! Listened to a variety of stations (including some band that her sister's obsessed with right now) while discussing her crazy "4 in 3" exam schedule: she will LOVE Reading Week and sleeping in!

Got to church and met Steph and Chrystal in the kitchen... we thought Chalaine would be there, but she didn't show up. (Janette's response had to do with spending 'quality time' correcting grammar, explaining run-on sentences, and reviewing misplaced modifiers... yay for tutoring, NOT!) Vivian and Karen were bringing the pizza, and showed up a little later: we knew Cindy and Isabel would be late, though! We had one veggie plate with good dip, Cheetos, an assortment of gummy candy, Clodhoppers, two pizzas (one with potato on it), popcorn, kettlecorn, fruit punch, and some free candygrams that my sister got from work. Steph gave us all mini Britney Spears Valentine's Day cards - no wonder they were all on clearance since they're from 2001, haha! Talked about Vivian's French students, quizzes, what Christon told Karen about Sunday night, the amazing (im)balance of our food, what we'd done today, and other such stuff. Auntie Rebecca said that they'd just have prayer meeting in the library, even after we said that we were done soon! So we joked amongst ourselves that Auntie Rebecca COULD just see George Clooney after we started the movie downstairs and be okay with whatever we said... Hunter and his guy friends would just have to take one look at Catherine Zeta-Jones, and do the same, haha!

Steph brought up certain misguided maternal thinking: "You know what? My mom got MAD at me when I said that Christon didn't like me! 'Oh, I saw him get really close to you when he talks to you, so he must like you!' 'Mom, have you seen the way he talks to Sheena or Karen? He does it to everyone!' 'DON'T DENY IT! HMPH!' Man, we can't win!" Then she remembered that Mom and Dave's mom (Auntie Grace) liked to spy on the English service from the balcony during their Sunday School: I'd feel disrespected if I were the teacher! I remember those days... "So does *insert male name here* like you? No?! But you sat by each other in service!!!" That doesn't mean anything, so I learned to be very careful about who I sat by / what I did! Vivian L. said that we all did it unconsciously, which is true... but at least I don't go up to the people involved and ask awkward questions like that! o_O

We wondered what the single guys were doing at Nathan's, which reminded my sister about what else Mom got mad at her for: "You should invite the guys to your gathering, you know! Why not? You can get together!" ... does your daughter look like a church dating service to you?! UGH. The girls figured that they were the last ones left, while I (as the most senior by a few years) said that I was probably THE only one left of my generation. Steph reminded me that there WAS another one who had the same name: oh, right. That caused me to tell them about how my mom had thought she was still living with her parents: uh, they're dead and have been for some time? Then we discussed her testimony: escaping Vietnam by boat, having her brother / sister fall into the water, and other such dramatic stuff? Yeah, that is definitely something you'd remember hearing as a young kid! After that, we got into poisoning: anything can be a poison in the right doses! Arsenic, very little; hickory sticks, one large bag; water, a LOT!

Later, we TRIED getting the church sound system to work for us on Isabel's DVD. We found the instructions and followed them, but that resulted in much frustration. At first, we thought that we wouldn't need a man... but then we started thinking about which unattached males would know how to work the sound system intricacies. Steph joked that she'd interrupt Citrus and Danielle, while I privately thought of calling someone who will remain nameless... only problem was that I couldn't remember his number! After at least 15 minutes of fiddling around with stuff, Isabel asked Karen if the computer had Internet access. It did, so she went on MSN and messaged Mike after she'd tried calling his cell phone - she wouldn't call his house phone because it would get forwarded to Uncle Johnny's cell phone! Not good, in this case... I remember the time Joey got a message from him about piano tuning! His response after she told him that a phone call would be easier: "YOU CALL ME. I'm HOLDING my phone! Here's the number!" (haha, I can imagine his tone of voice were he to say that too!) Finally with clear instructions, the DVD worked with sound and audio... we'll definitely need to thank Mike when we see him next! :D

The movie was pretty quirky: George Clooney is this matrimonial divorce lawyer who falls in love with one of his client's exes, who marries people and then moves out for their wealth. Ripping up pre-nups and such, oh my! That kind of ending would never happen in real life, but the suspension of disbelief was there in a way. Afterwards, Chrystal found the sound system key under the keyboard because Steph and Viv had spent 10 minutes searching for it... nobody wanted to get yelled at / get in BIG trouble! ("See?! This is why we only use it on Sundays!") Then we unsuccessfully tried to get Cindy to take the double chocolate ice cream home because she thought Steph was lucky to have four tubs of other ice cream at home! Steph wouldn't take it home because Mom might actually yell at her, strange as it sounds... I can imagine it, though! ("WHY did you take ANOTHER thing of ice cream HOME?! THERE'S NO ROOM!!!") She finally decided to ding Daniel Fellowship for it if it gets used for Resonate: people WILL eat it otherwise! We divided up the leftover food among us, with Vivian L. taking a lot for the kids / students.

On the way home, Steph told me that the restaurant for tomorrow's dinner at 7:30 is in between Alleluia Café and Tsim Chai, near Save-On. We've been to Paterson before (after that salmon run bus tour), but I know Moutai much better than the other. Ah well, my parents want something a bit classier (but still cheap) for my sister's birthday dinner! On Sunday, there's yet another lunch at the Trocadero Greek place near church paid for by Uncle Sam's mom. Sister and I will just order small appetizer-type stuff like salads, since we get a LOT of main course stuff from the old ladies! The last time we went there, Grandma gave away like 75% of her meal to the four of us (me / Jon / Steph / Jeremy), so it's not worth having a main dish yourself WITH that since you'd get SO FULL on it! Then my sister said that our parents want to take a vacation from Monday to Thursday, but they don't know where... sweet! I don't HAVE to, but I could stay there and maybe spend time with Grandma outside the townhouse: she'll do the safety-deposit box thing, for sure. Nobody would bother me, since Jon's also gone - she'll forget at least once, haha. Maybe after Monday's show... we'll see.

What Kind Of Valentine Are You? <3

Greedy Valentine!

Admit it. You don't really care about love and romance... you're just in it for the Kim Possible cards and candy!!

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by quizzes and personality tests.


Valentine's Day, cards, death predictor, Blogthings

I couldn't sleep and it wasn't worth taking some help, so was up from 3:40 AM to 6:20 AM tagging some of my Blogger posts. Yikes. The page doesn't take THAT long to load, but it's early days yet in tagging that. So we'll see when it's all done, since this time I am NOT deleting all of them!

Bleh to Valentine's Day. Really. Do you want me to dig out the St. Valentine's Day Massacre picture again? Happy Valentine's Day to you anyhow. :P (LJ is also being annoying, so who knows how long it'll take me to post this!)

Erin says she feels special because my mom sent a Pillsbury Doughboy Valentine to me, Jon, Steph, AND her! She should... Mom always says she's like another daughter, haha. Steph says that I might have to help Vivian S. with directions to the church later: she's driven there before, but might get confused. NO PROBLEM! :D

Aww... I got a cute card from Janina (mrshannibal) with puppies and such on it! Says "Forever Friends"... all I can say is that I hope this doesn't end with a sudden unfriending for no reason like it did with someone else. =/

The Amazing Death Predictor says this for me: At age 77, you will die fighting the Global War on Terrorism in Mexico.

You're Not a Maneater

You like men, and you respect whoever you happen to be with.
Whether it's a fling or a boyfriend, you try to be honest and upstanding.
Of course, you've probably broken a few hearts in your time.
The difference with you is that you didn't mean to!

You Can Change Your Life, But It Won't Be Easy

You really, truly want to change. You're just not sure that you can do it.
You need a solid plan, supportive friends, and a strong will.
Think about times you've made hard changes, and what you did to get through them.
A change is in your future - you just need a little help getting started.


Ice cream, the ultimate price, tagging, McDonald's Arch Deluxe

Note: LJ Anime Bishie Valentine blogquiz, by Pamela.

Finishing my butter tart ice cream now, even though I suspect I'll have ice cream tomorrow! Steph says Vivian S. will pick me up in the courtyard at 5:45, which sounds good to me! What DOESN'T sound good to me is Jon telling Harmony about my "ultimate price" threat / visual if he fails to bring the birthday / Chinese New Year cards to the family birthday dinner on Thursday... there are SOME things your girlfriend doesn't need to know, dude! I tried tagging some 50+ Blogger entries last night, but I quickly deleted all the tags. Even labeling the entries with everyone's names in a general sort of format would probably cause the post management page to load kinda slowly. =/ Maybe I'll try again after I finish tagging the 8800 RQ entries! (in comparison, this only has 3600+ entries)

McDonald's Arch Deluxe

In 1996, McDonald's set out to target more educated tastebuds in a massive advertising campaign for its newest burger creation. We watched while Ronald McDonald golfed, danced, and leisurely hung out with real-life grown-up humans, instead of the puffy Mayor McCheese and that bunch of wacko puppets. Supposedly the Arch Deluxe, with the "Adult Taste," would appeal to those dancers and golfers and anyone else with a sophisticated palate. But let's face it, we're not talking Beef Wellington here. The Arch Deluxe is just a hamburger, after all, with only a couple of elements that set it apart from the other menu items. The big difference is the creamy brown mustard spread on the sandwich right next to the ketchup. And the burger is assembled on a sesame seed potato roll (which actually tastes very much like your common hamburger bun).

Also, you can order the burger with the optional thick-sliced peppered bacon, for an extra ka-ching. Okay, so the plan hasn't quite worked out the way Micky D's had hoped. Sales of the Arch Deluxe have been disappointing, to say the least. That's why I thought this would be a good recipe to clone. You know, for all of you who have been struggling to get by without the Arch Deluxe in your lives. The Arch Deluxe may have gone on to join the McD.L.T and the McLean Deluxe on the great list of fast food duds from our past. But you can now create a delicious kitchen facsimile of your own with this recipe. And hopefully, in the meantime, Ronald has gone back to work.

1 tablespoon mayonnaise
1/2 teaspoon brown mustard (French's "Hearty Deli" is good)
1 sesame seed hamburger bun
1/4 pound ground beef
1 slice American cheese
1 to 2 tomato slices
1 to 2 lettuce leaves, chopped
1/2 tablespoon ketchup
2 tablespoons chopped onion

1. In a small bowl, mix together the mayonnaise and the brown mustard. Set aside.
2. Grill the face of each of the buns on a griddle or frying pan over medium heat.
3. Roll the ground beef into a ball and pat it out until it's approximately the same diameter as the bun.
4. Cook meat on hot griddle or frying pan for about 5 minutes per side or until done. Be sure to lightly salt and pepper each side of the patty.

5. Build the burger in the following order, from the bottom up:

On Bottom Bun
beef patty
American cheese slice
1 to 2 tomato slices

On Top Bun
mayo / mustard

6. Slap the top onto the bottom and serve hot. Makes one burger.

If you can find thick-sliced pepper bacon in your supermarket, you can add it to the burger just as you could at the restaurant chain. Cut one slice in half after cooking, and place the slices next to each other onto the bottom bun before adding the beef patty.


Tuesday, February 13, 2007

21st century Collyer Brothers, anyone?

I've finished tagging January 2005 posts, finally... on to the next month I go! You'd think I'd have finished last week or the week before, but I had way too many obligations and stuff to do. That "eviction" thing did NOT help, either! (I just called my sister to see what was going on tomorrow night, and got NO ANSWER! UGH!)

Today's Cluttered Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A Shelton woman who was at first reported missing was later found dead suffocated under a pile of debris in her home. Officers found the body of Marie Rose, 62, buried under clothes Thursday, January 5, 2006. Her husband reported her missing after he couldn't find her early Thursday morning. Officers found clothing, dishes, and boxes crammed from floor to ceiling in every room of the couple's house. "In some areas, clothes and debris were piled 6 feet high," said Police Chief Terry Davenport of the Shelton Police Department. "Officers were having to climb over the top on their hands and knees. In some areas, their heads were touching the ceiling while they were standing on top of piles of debris."

After 10 hours of searching, officers discovered the woman's body. On Friday, investigators said she was smothered under the clutter. Fire and city code inspectors have released the home back the family after an inspection.

Culled from: KiroTV.Com
Generously submitted by: Desmodus


Of course I'm going to keep this handy for certain people who like to call me a pack rat. See, it could be worse!


Morbid Link Du Jour!

The Honest Poet writes to tell me about his / her new website:

"Blood, Guts, and Gore concerns itself with the blood / gore / extreme violence / disturbing images rampant in horror and sci-fi fare. It tells readers exactly where their favorite gore scenes are in almost 300 films and gives them a fearlessly detailed recap of the sequence and a rating from one blood drop to five and a special rating: off the scale. These are then tallied and divided by 5 for the AR (Average Rating) which quantifies the gore factor from one drop (dry) to ten (blood-soaked) and a special rating: naturally, off the scale - these are pictures that are for the truly sick, loaded with guts and gore and quite gruesome."

Sounds like the ideal site for cinematic goremongers the world over!


Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Now here's a magazine just for people like us!

Epitaph Magazine - The Magazine for Cemetery Lovers by Cemetery Lovers

Thanks to Evonne for the link.

Heh, that first story reminds me of the Collyer Brothers.


First initial meme

I did the Valentine's postbox thing, too... it's not misspelled like the other Valentine's Day meme currently making the rounds! (who replaces the ending E in "Valentine" with an R?!)

First initial meme, taken from Tim.

Rules: Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following. They MUST be real places, names, things... NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same first initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy / girl name questions.

Your first initial: L.

1. Actor / Actress: Laura Linney.
2. Four-letter word: Loon.
3. Street name: Laurel.
4. Color: Lime.
5. Gift / present: Lingerie.
6. Vehicle: Land Rover.
7. Tropical Location: La Altagracia. (Dominican Republic)
8. College Major: Linguistics.
9. Dairy Product: Lassi.
10. Thing in a Souvenir Shop: Leather hats.
11. Boy Name: Lester.
12. Girl Name: Lavinia.
13. Movie Title: Lawrence of Arabia.
14. Beer: Labatts. (gotta keep it Canadian on this one...)
15. Occupation: Lawyer.
16. Flower: Lily.
17. Celebrity: Leni Riefenstahl.
18. Magazine: Life and Style Weekly.
19. Clothes: Leggings.
20. Band: Luminous Toilet Bowls. (no fooling... I got it from The Canonical List of Weird Band Names)


I will return, so don't bury me! / McDonald's Big Mac Sauce

Note: My LJ Nightmare blogquiz, by Kristen.

Today's Mummified Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A dead woman dressed in white was positioned in a chair in front of a television set for 2 1/2 years because she told her caregiver that she didn't want to be buried and planned to return, the coroner said. "Don't show my body when I'm dead," Hamilton County Coroner Dr. Odell Owens said Monday in describing Johanna Pope's wishes. "Don't bury me. I'm coming back." Pope, 61, died Aug. 29, 2003. Her caretaker and friend, whose name has not been released, left the woman upstairs in the home with the television and air conditioning on while the body slowly decayed and mummified.

Some family members continued to live downstairs in the house since her death. Police went to the house after a relative who hadn't seen Pope in 2 1/2 years called them. They found a staircase behind a door blocked by a basket and climbed to the second floor where they found the body. "Standing outside, one could smell death," Owens said. Owens said he had not determined the cause of death, but found no signs of abuse or foul play.

Culled from: Boston.Com
Generously submitted by: Dorisaurus


"Standing outside, one could smell death" - you don't hear poetry like that coming from most coroners!


Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

The Adipocere shop now has some black T-shirts! A great way to shock and horrify your non-morbid friends and family!


Morbid Sightseeing!

Bluemeanie42 has a tragic recommendation for us the next time we're meandering our way through New Zealand:

"I wanted to let you know about the Asylum Lodge hostel, 36 Russell Road, Seacliff (tel: 03 4658123). Designed by Robert Lawson, it used to be the biggest building in NZ and possibly the largest in the Southern hemisphere. It was demolished in the 1950s because of 'dangerous instability' (very appropriate for a lunatic asylum) but in its heyday in the late nineteenth century, it housed over 1,400 patients. The pictures of the intact buildings are very impressive: it's really a massive castle-like edifice with turrets and towers.

"And the whole damn thing is almost totally gone! There are just a few buildings, crumbling and stuffed with rotting old cars and furniture, and a sheep paddock. We went for a stroll on the old grounds -- just a sweeping drive up through what used to be massive cultivated formal gardens and now is wild forest, and then a blank grassy field with here or there a bit of brick or a cracked wall or a bit of mossy cement floor. With the wind whistling along the plain and the ducks calling plaintively and the grey drizzle, it was satisfyingly eerie.

"Apparently, it was once featured on a television show about ghost hauntings, and there is a ghost called The Eye. One of the biggest fires in NZ history happened here, in a women's wing -- 37 of 39 patients died. I found a random blurb on a hostel ranking site intoning 'It was colder inside the hostel than outside. Bodies buried outside bedroom windows,' but it was quite toasty even in the winter and I don't know how they'd know, really, without a good spade.

"I am amazed at how little information there is on this place -- for such a young country with very little history, it seems a little silly to take something like this, raze most of it to the ground, and pass the remnants along to a couple of uninterested hostel owners. The hostel itself is set in the administration buildings, which still stand. There are also the boiler house (now a weekend home) and the workshops. It was worthwhile to stay at the hostel for the location, but we didn't care hugely for the owners -- though they did give us some good advice about sightseeing in the area, generally we found them to be surprisingly suspicious and unfriendly. If they wanted to go out, all the guests had to leave the hostel so it could be locked, and campers -- paying $15 a night for use of facilities -- weren't allowed in to use the bathroom between about 11 PM and 8 AM.

"We were also depressed to see the buildings boarded up and used as storehouses for garbage -- it doesn't have to be Disneyland, people, but it would have been nice to have a bit more information provided, and to be able to walk through the rooms that are left.

"Here are our holiday pictures. There are seven of the buildings and grounds -- unfortunately, we didn't have the film to really go crazy, and a lot of the buildings are boarded up."

McDonald's Big Mac Sauce

Yield: 2 Cups

1 cup Miracle Whip
1/3 cups sweet relish
1/4 cups French dressing (orange, not red)
1 tablespoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon minced onion

Mix ingredients well.


Monday, February 12, 2007

Yay for Eric being my ride home! / EVIL father!

Another day, another weird phone call from Ontario: 416-224-1061 last called me on January 31, too. Ah well, I wasn't even home to respond to this one!

I had good timing tonight because the bus pulled up RIGHT when I got to the stop! At the townhouse, my key wouldn't work for some reason... yes, it was the right one. So I rang the doorbell instead, and heard my grandma asking who it was. Dad let me in and said it was a good thing I rang the doorbell, otherwise I'd scare Big G. Haha, I wouldn't want to do that! Sister wasn't home yet so I checked out some stuff on her laptop, accidentally killing a Firefox session in the process... oops. Hopefully, she can remember what she was doing! Note to self: Use IE on Lenny, not Firefox! Then I went downstairs where my mom decided to tell me to CALL first if I was coming over because of food reasons: uh, I had no TIME to call spontaneously! My sister got home just in time for dinner, and I told her that I knew who was gonna die on the show: of course I wasn't going to tell her OR Mom! Afterwards, my parents tried telling me that I should take off my hat indoors: if I was going to do that, I wouldn't have worn it to begin with! Besides, it's MY HEAD and MY CHOICE! (now I sound like all those pro-abortion people, haha)

After eating and talking about how Karen thinks about Dylan (don't do it, Vivian!), my sister and I did as many dishes as we could in six minutes - apparently, I contributed more than my brother ever does since he gets a phone call from Harmony, and says he'll do them later. "Later" means at around 11 PM or so... mmm, yummy dishes left to soak in soap for hours! (even Pastor Edward is annoyed - that takes a LOT!) Dylan is a thorn, haha - correcting English mistakes on handouts and changing some other things on there in emails?! Oh man. Eric came over just in time to watch the show, since they were still on the previews. A certain woman character was VERY stupid: sure, you can shoot your boyfriend in the head, but don't expect to get your $7 million just because YOU deliver the package (another human being) to the terrorist. In fact, you might just get shot in the head yourself after you tell him that you don't care about the money and just want to get out of there! On another note, drills to the shoulder HURT LIKE HELL! I'm sure Jack Bauer was NOT impressed after THAT situation was defused! He got two years in China, yet Morris can't stand a few minutes?

We got to learn just how evil Jack Bauer's father was... yes, he killed his son in the last hour, but he also won't think twice about threatening his own daughter-in-law (who SHOULD have told Jack about his evil father!) OR his grandson! "Family assets / business that he spent his life building"... who the heck is it going to, you creepy old man working for the Russians?! As for the presidential aide and HIS guy, they really are unsavory characters if they want to kill the president! Damn, Jack can disarm a bomb in three minutes! (with shaky hands and instructions) I don't know about you, but I liked the Assad-Palmer exchange about culture and such. Loved it when Chloe slapped Morris! Man, what a cool two hours... especially the last few minutes!

The commercials were cool, too... there was this one with this chick working in an office environment. She sends some email to her crush, only accidentally sends it to everyone in the office. Imagine everyone's surprise when a picture of her in revealing clothing pops up on their computer screens! Dad likes the Telus commercials because of the colorful animals, while I like the popcorn shrimp one: two shrimp are eating it in the ocean, when they suddenly wonder where their kids are... WE ATE THEM ALL!!! The one for Lays curry chips led to some teasing about sending curry to Corey: Steph and Eric like calling him CURRY! There was a commercial for Windows Vista which confused Mom: "I thought it was Windows XP? My workplace still has Windows 95, and their monitors are ten years old!" Luckily, Eric was around to explain things to her: his brother might get it soon, yay Microsoft! Then we talked about Blu-Ray devices and HDTV, which seriously confused my mom... eh well. :P

I thought that we wouldn't talk about a certain subject, but Mom HAD to bring it up... then she kept touching me when I didn't want that! I'm not going to tell her that I know why certain things happened, that's for sure! Someone remind me why I go over there, then! Mom was going to keep me at the house till tomorrow ("you can sleep in Flime's bed since he's at Nathan's recording stuff for Harmony... remember, you got that silver pig!"), but thank goodness Eric offered me a ride home. Yup, he is my escape route from my crazy family! We stuck around for CSI: Miami where an investigator was in the hospital, Horatio saved the day by shooting before he got shot, two others discovered kids working in a diamond shop, and a security guard was discovered to have shot the investigator in the hospital who almost died. There was this "hello, I am stupid and brainwashed by a criminal / prisoner!" girl who was really ditzy and lied about her scars: she cut this person's handcuffs off and accidentally cut herself doing it. Before we went home, Mom wanted to talk more with me about a certain subject, so I ignored her. Maybe not the best mature way to do it (she does it way worse than I do!), but meh. I can always email my sister about Wednesday and Thursday instead! Note to self: give Steph all the birthday cards, get her to make Jon sign them, and then give them back to me / the intended recipients.

Interesting times, even if Eric wanted me to have a hot witty man by Valentine's Day! We were talking about that in the car on the way home, after he realized what he was doing when he almost went to his house. "You didn't say anything either, even though that was a [relatively] long time that I was driving... so I guess you don't exist tonight!" Dude, my only plans for that day consist of the bonding night with the girls... and you KNOW that already! It's not like I'll have any romantic prospects in 48 hours!


Blogger tagging, uneviction, water torture, and McDonalds Apple Muffins

Hey, I can now tag my Blogger posts! I don't think I'll do that since I tend to go crazy with even short labels, and that's not a good thing when you consider the sheer number of posts I have! However, I still want to know how to search for more than one word at once: time to put in another message on those forums, and hope THIS one gets answered! At least now I can have more than 50 search results show up, and even more than 300 since it spills over into a new page! Speaking of searches, I need to search for a WHOLE WORD now... no more half-words. :(

Today, I learned that the building management cashed the cheque for missing funds, and I shouldn't be evicted any more. But I still want something in writing... given the shady history of this management company, who could blame me?

Today's Ice-Cold Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A common torture technique in American prisons in the 19th century was to lock troublesome prisoners into a shower cubicle under a spray of ice-cold water. Such a punishment could prove fatal - in 1858, Simon Moore, an inmate of Auburn prison, New York State, collapsed and died after half an hour in these conditions. In 1882, all cold water torture was abolished in American prisons.

Culled from: The History of Torture


... until 2003 when I'm sure it was brought back into vogue in those top-secret Eastern European CIA prisons. That's just a hunch, of course... I don't know for sure... yet. I'm sure my time will come.


Morbid Link Du Jour!

MFDJ's good friend Adi has written to let me know that he has finished updating his wonderfully disturbing sites:

"All three sites (the fabulously queasotic Adipocere; the lunch-dropping Mausoleum Problems; and the strangely soothing Cemetery Monuments) have had their respective links pages completely updated. All links have been verified to see if they work; dead links have been either reconnected, or dropped if truly gone. Many new links, especially on the Adipocere site, have been added.

"In addition, Adipocere has a smart new index page, replacing the Rube Goldberg-like nightmare that it had become."

Please pay a visit - you'll be glad (or, perhaps, sorry) you did!


"My Brush With Morbidity" by Drew

"I live in a smaller city, around 30,000 people, in Canada. I was walking home from school one day in the winter months, following a trail beside the railroad tracks like I did every day. When I finally came to where the tracks met the road, I found police tape encircling my neighborhood. My first thought was that of murder.

"But it wasn't the case. As I came home, my father (who was on the afternoon shift) told me what had happened.

"Some guy had apparently tried to blow his own house up, and he succeeded. The only problem was that he was inside it when it happened. Apparently, my father heard a loud explosion and felt the whole house shake. He was definitely startled, and took a look outside to see that the rear overhang on our garage was literally bent down at a 90-degree angle, and the barbecue was pushed halfway across the deck. Yet, he couldn't see anything else. He followed where he thought he heard the explosion from, which took him a good distance away. It was maybe 400 meters away, to our neighbor's neighbor: what he saw was gruesome. There was no house, just a hole in the ground. Television sets, VCRs, everything was hanging from trees.

"The man was shot through the window of his minivan, and he was lying inside it. So my dad and another guy took a look at him, and he told me that the guy was burned all over. He had flaps of skin peeled from his body, with various large wooden spikes sticking into him all over. The explosion shot pieces of 2 by 4's into him. He was definitely a bloody mess, but still alive and conscious. They pulled him to safety, and he was picked up by an ambulance and survived.

"I heard all this and had to go see the damage. There was a TV in a tree... and a hole in the ground, everything else burned. The houses beside it were amazingly unharmed except for the black scorch marks, and no one was hurt but the owner. I may or may not have climbed into the hole and took a souvenir after all the cops had left.

"It turns out he filled his house with natural gas, gasoline, and gunpowder before his impending divorce. That might not be true, but whatever it was... it blew the house and foundation into oblivion, and he did it.

"I'll never forget that day."

I can definitely see why!

McDonald's Apple Muffin

Yield: 24 copycat Servings

21 oz Apple pie filling
3 Eggs
2 teaspoons Apple pie spice
18 oz Yellow cake mix

Beat all together with electric mixer on medium-speed. Divide batter equally between 24 paper-lined cupcake wells. Bake at 350°F for 25 to 30 minutes, or until knife inserted comes out clean. Cool before peeling off paper liners.


Shattering a record in pictures: 35 steamers of SLB (Sunday, 2.11.07)

Hey, Steph uploaded and sent us her 43 photos already... sweet! :D Note to self: UPLOAD FULL-SIZE IN REVERSE CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER! No weird image stuff, either. Yeah, it seems I've forgotten how to upload these photos properly... o_O

I still can't believe we set a 35-steamer record tonight, but here is the pictorial proof... we didn't get a picture of all 35 steamers in a huge pile, since our discussion led us to conclude that we'd smash the ceiling if we started from the table! (maybe the pile would be higher than some of us!) Jeremy thought that we were probably the only customers who ordered in such mass quantities, and Steph joked that they had photos of us in the back: "When these people come in, I want four workers to produce as much SIU LONG BAO as fast as possible! Move!" Hey, it could happen since Jon / Jeremy / our crew are the only ones to order weird combinations at Dragon Ball when we go there for bubble tea! I know I'm still impressed! Good thing my grandma gave me $40 this morning, too!

Nathan ordering the first ten steamers:

Jon's tea in a rice bowl:

"Before" shot of Eric, me, and Jeremy:

"Before" shot of Jeremy, Fabian, and Nathan:

"Before" shot of Tony, Jon, and Christon:

Steph's so hungry beforehand, she wants to eat her spoon! Not a good idea, Steph... NOT a good idea!

Look at the lovely Shanghai Wind waitstaff in their SLB-financed uniforms!

Dou mew is our enemy since it's also $13 here. It's the Cantonese name for "pea shoots," the thin, delicately crisp tendrils (or vines), plus the uppermost leaves, of the green pea.

Fabian and Nathan contemplate eating yummy green onion pancake as an appetizer for the carnage to come:

The first five steamers finally arrive!

Tony is the SLB Crew's answer to Sidney Crosby!

Our guru Nathan taking his first bite... please note his lovely Strong Bad hat:

Christon's first bite into heavenly goodness:

Nathan performing an XXX striptease as Fabian looks on... this reminded Steph of when Jeremy had to go air out that time he arrived after work in his suit! Disclaimer: This is not a REAL striptease since we DO want to come back many times in the future!

More, more, more! By this point, I think we passed gluttony a LONG time ago!

I contemplate yet more steamers, water, and tea:

Eric and I are still enjoying ourselves:

Jon being one with the SLB:

Steph getting ready to eat them by the basketful:

Christon: "Save me from myself, Steph! You're my Mexico pacing buddy!"

We ordered another veggie plate so our bowels don't kill us later on!

Basket + Pork Bun = Match Made in Heaven:

Tony, three baskets later...

Lookin' good there, Jeremy!

The original SLB tally didn't show up! It must have been holy...

The incomplete SLB tally:

Tower of Bao:

Final SLB Scorecard:

"After" shot of Eric:

Hey Jeremy, I hope you don't mind if I die on you!

Fabian and Nathan: "Hey guys! We want more! Should we have just ONE more steamer?" Everyone else: "Nooooooo....."

Tony and Jon think it's time for some gastric bypass surgery:

Christon and Steph: "Can we just purge now and get it over with already?!"

SLB-induced happiness:

Jeremy and I are masking the pain with smiles...

Jeremy documents the score as Fabian and I look on:

This is what Shanghai Wind's exit door conceals...

Nathan laughing over the bill:

Steph, Eric, and I wonder about our napkin / cell phone calculations:

$148.75 (before tax) on SLB alone...

Money well spent:

Gifted men making SLB and other Shanghaiese delicacies:

Shanghai Wind Chinese Kitchen, 6610 #3 Road, Richmond BC:
