'Game of Thrones' will not stop doing horrible things to Sansa Stark

Poor Sansa.
Poor Sansa.
Image: HBO

Game of Thrones Season 5, Episode 6 may have been titled after the Martells' house words — "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken" — but it was Olenna "The Queen of Thorns" Tyrell who stole the show this time.

Almost, at least.

Her return to King's Landing was the high point of the episode, but poor Sansa's wedding night was a much lower low. Ramsay Bolton finally dropped his nice guy act, and in the worst possible way — by raping the eldest Stark daughter as Theon watched.

Only Theon actually saw, weeping, too afraid of Ramsay's wrath to turn his head away. But the scene was still unbelievably difficult to watch, certainly one of the most disturbing ever on Game of Thrones.

"Reek" could have probably stopped Ramsay with a well-placed dagger in that moment, but the former ward of Ned Stark still hasn't found his strength. Was this his breaking point? Will this event finally grant him the will to act?



Image: HBO

Either way, for Sansa the worst has already occurred. The fact that her wedding to Ramsay is a show-only plot makes it sting even more, as the sense that "that wasn't supposed to happen" will be hard to shake for many book readers.

Going back to the episode title, every Game of Thrones fan can hope that Sansa is neither bowed, nor bent, nor broken by this trauma, but rises again, harder and stronger—to borrow a saying from Theon's people, appropriately—and gets her vengeance by the end.

The Men of Many Faces

At least — and this is a big "at least" — Sansa is still alive.

For a moment some astute viewers might have assumed she wouldn't be by the episode's conclusion, and not just because "a wedding without at least three deaths is considered a dull affair" on Game of Thrones.

Myranda washed the black dye out of Sansa's hair as she bathed her before the wedding, wringing it out in a way that was eerily similar to how Arya tended to the corpses in the House of Black and White earlier in this episode. The comparison was, thankfully, a bit of a red herring — though we'll have to see where Sansa's story goes from here.

For Arya, the games may finally be over. Jaqen has deemed her ready — if not to be "no one," then at least "to become someone else" — and he finally showed her the temple's inner sanctum.

Given the hundreds, perhaps thousands, of human faces covering every surface of their macabre basement, does the Faceless Men's name seem a bit ironic to anyone else right now?

At least we found out — through Jaqen's apparently flawless natural lie detector — that Arya really did love the Hound as much as we loved watching them together.

Was it cruelty then that led her to leave him for dead last season — or mercy?

A really big fan

Arya's storyline has been surprisingly calm this season, but the dragon shit is really hitting the fan just about everywhere else in Westeros and beyond, including King's Landing.

Granted, it was pretty satisfying to watch Olenna spar with Cersei, especially when the Queen of Thorns called the "famous tart, Queen Cersei" out for only pretending to be busy writing letters all the time.

Cersei did not enjoy being called out.

Cersei did not enjoy being called out.

Image: HBO

In past seasons, Cersei's father Tywin always seemed to be busy writing as well — except unlike Cersei he actually was sending letters and weaving plots all across Westeros. That has to say something about Cersei's attempts to live up to her father's example, and if she can't earn Olenna's respect, then she likely won't have anyone else's in the end.

But Loras and now Queen Margaery as well are in serious trouble with the Faith Militant, and to Cersei's credit it's her plotting (plus a healthy helping of Tommen's uselessness) that has both Tyrells rotting in irons right now.

No such thing as coincidence

We didn't get any Meereen this week — thank the Seven, because Dany's wig has not been a high point in Season 5 — but Jorah and Tyrion are still on their way to Slaver's Bay, one way or another. Hopefully the actual slavers who captured them don't find a "cock merchant" to buy Tyrion's apparently massive, magic-filled member before they arrive.

Jorah and Tyrion's journey continued in episode 6.

Jorah and Tyrion's journey continued in episode 6.

Image: Helen Sloan/courtesy of HBO

Still, I would have rather watched an entire episode of Meereen than witness the ongoing butchery of the Dornish plotline, which wasn't even very strong in the books and in the show, it is totally hopeless.

So did Jaime and Bronn just happen to arrive in the Water Gardens the exact moment that Ellaria was siccing the Sand Snakes on Myrcella and Trystane (whoever he is—seriously)? Also, why are they even doing that again? To start a war? Because they're as bad at thinking things through as their father, the Red Viper, was?

One more belief-stretching coincidence on Game of Thrones and they're going to have to change the show's motto: "When you play the game of thrones, you either win, or you just happen to run into someone relevant to your particular plotline at the exact right moment to ensure things don't get too boring."

Here's hoping things on Game of Thrones improve, because as of now it's hard to imagine them getting any worse.