Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Let's Talk About (Married) Sex, Baby!




Dry spells are normal and okay.


No one talks about dry spells. 

No one even defines dry spells.






Sometimes seduction isn't necessary.






  1. dear Lord I miss sex, but probably not as much as my husband does right now. Sorry, just reading your post reminded me that I'm expecting and for some reason have no sex drive and also when I'm touched I get nauseous. My brain is like "huh, yeah, I did used to enjoy that, I wonder whats wrong with me" and my body is like NO THANKS. (i know there is nothing wrong with me, but pregnancy has changed me so much I think of things in that way sometimes. my brain hasn't caught up to my...strange new body and hormones, hah) I'm glad for a great husband who does not pressure me. Although i know he misses me. :) :)

    1. Oh, my goodness, I didn't even think about how pregnancy could be affecting your sex life. I mean, I definitely told Beau well before we got married that we might have really long dry spells because of pregnancy/childbirth, but I haven't given it any thought since then. You're almost done with the first trimester, right? Hopefully things will turn back to normal-ish. If not... it's still just temporary!

      Your husband is definitely a good one. Just think of how epic your reunion will be! ;)

    2. My "I'm not interested in sex, you can't make me be interested in sex" came after pregnancy. The hormones that linger when you breastfeed are not always nether-region-sharing friendly.

      I'm sorry this has become a thing in your life and I hope that the end of pregnancy sees your sex drive come back with a vengeance! (I actually got super sexual in my second and third trimesters. Pregnancy sex, after The Crazy of the first trimester had ebbed, was awesome. Fingers crossed for you and the Mister!) :) And way to go, Husband! That is awesome. (Mine is like that too, so wonderful and patient and understanding. It's so helpful.)

  2. True on all points. (13+ years of marriage)

    1. It's always nice to hear from someone with more experience :D

  3. YES. If people would just talk more about sex. That would be awesome. (This makes more sense if you read my mind and see that, recently, the un-tabooing of sex, menstruation and childbirth (among other things, of course) has become hugely important to me.)

    All of that, but the dry spells. Just because you don't go at each other like rabbits every day, doesn't mean you don't love each other. Life happens and so does "yeah no, really not in the mood, hon." THANK YOU. I appreciate your writing this.

  4. This is normal for us, too, in our 7th year. Sometimes it seems like we're having it twice a day and sometimes it'll be 10 days in between. We talk honestly ablut it, too.

  5. As far as I can tell, your comments are all from other women. I'd like to give y'all a man's perspective on "dry spells".

    Ladies, understand that "dry spells" do sexual harm to men, generally speaking. Women have different sexual needs than men. It's often said that women need to feel loved to want sex. Men, on the other hand, need to have sex to feel and show love.

    If your husbands are anything like me, after a few days with no sex, they're feeling neglected. You may notice a little change in his behavior; such as being a little more distant, things annoying him a bit more, less conversation, etc. If you ask him if he's mad or upset about something, he'll most likely deny it.

    Learn these signs of your man feeling unloved. It's a big deal to us.

    Heather and I have been married for over 30 years. We have 5 kids so I know and understand the "pregnancy" issue all too well. I'll still ask you, for the sake of your husbands, to do your best to satisfy his natural desire to sex you up. I promise, if you tell him your needs, he will respect them.

    Heather and I have written about many of our sexual experiences and we share them on our page, http://www.marriedheat.com. We offer advice and answer questions as well. Please visit and take a poll, read a few posts, and even register and share your own stories.


Thanks for reading and commenting!

Anonymous commenting disabled while my mom is sick.




Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
