Men are the heavy muscles, soldier ants: destined to till the ground. Women are the china dolls, the maids: destined to look pretty, breed babies and keep the house clean. This is the mentality that has put “the marriage proposal ritual in the heavy hands of men. Even though a few women have snatched these moments and succeeded in moving from traditional conventions to a disadvantage as well as an advantage, it remains a taboo. I am a woman who constantly challenges the status quo, especially, if it sends women back to the dark ages. I believe leaving the proposal game to the men definitely does.

In the modern world, a woman’s work place has extended beyond the home to the office. Many women work more hours than their men; juggling the bread winning duties with their traditional home making ones. I believe a woman strong enough to do this should have the confidence to ask for what she wants. If what she want is a ring, then so be it.

A marriage proposal is like any other question

“Will you marry me?”

“Will you buy me a house?”

“Will you come home with me”

Will you have dinner with me”.

I am not trivialising the intensity of this question, I am simply questioning the idea that it can only be asked by a particular gender. This question involves two people and its nature is such that it can be asked by any of the parties involved. The result would still be the same whether a woman does the proposing or a man does it. There will always be a question and an answer. A “Yes” if the parties are at the same place and a “No” if the are not. If I were to be a man, I am sure I would be dating a woman who is bold enough to make such moves. As I am a woman who has found the most amazing, understanding and loving man, I would be proposing to my boyfriend.

Now, why would I want to do such “abominable” thing? I have lived a few years on the earth. Years long enough to shape me into a determined, focus and considerate individual. I have deliberated on my life, our life and every other factor. I know the next stage I want is a home and I have found the person to build it with. I understand this is also what he wants and I believe we are at the same place. So, why not take the first step and make it a reality instead of waiting around.

The proposal charade involves a lot of work (guess work) by the man. He sneaks around to find her ring size, amidst whispering in friends and families ears about his intention. He hopes she likes the music, the restaurant, the menu, the surprise, the ring and the question. He says it is her day and it has to be perfect. Well if it is my day, I know I am the only one that knows for certain, how to make it perfect.

A perfect day would be a day without the possibility of me crying not because of the surprise but because of how out of place (a nicer way of saying ugly) the ring looks on my finger.  So there will be flowers, music, wine, food and definitely poetry (because I am a poet). This would end with me on my Knees, a ring I have carefully selected to reflect my taste (a ring he may or may not have unknowingly paid for) and the question “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”


Let’s see if you can make me change my mind with your logical argument for or against a woman proposing. Looking forward to your comments.


See I am not the first to think this