Shakespeare would cringe at shallow gnome-enclature of 'Gnomeo and Juliet'

on February 11, 2011 at 8:00 AM, updated February 11, 2011 at 11:42 AM
Gnomeo.JPGGnomeo, voiced by James McAvoy, left, Juliet, voiced by Emily Blunt, and Featherstone, voiced by Jim Cummings, are shown in a scene from "Gnomeo and Juliet."

As the title suggests, “Gnomeo and Juliet” plays around with Shakespeare, but never gets caught up in the Bard’s tragic purpose.

At its beginning, an animated creature steps in front of a curtain and, after announcing how boring his opening speech will be, reads a few lines of it anyway, before being pulled into a trap door.

Almost all of the other words in this feature cartoon, as written by director Kelly Asbury and others, veer off into modern slang departures from the sad romance, with scattered references to tempests in a teacup, a moving firm called Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, and other scattered references.

All the main characters are crockery figurines that come to life as soon as humans are out of sight.

The latter are seldom-seen, feuding neighbors: Miss Montague, whose house and decorations are dominated by the color blue; and Mr. Capulet, whose house and decorations are mostly red.

Most of the animated activities that follow unfold in one garden or the other, involving mushrooms, rabbits, a frog fountain, a pink flamingo and several dwarf-like figures, all of whom represent the feuding neighbors.

I should add that this is a British production, so no political subtext should be read into the color oppositions. Most of the characters speak with a Cockney accent, and much of the background music consists of classic pop tunes such as “Crocodile Rock,” “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting” and other Elton John originals. The singer-songwriter was executive producer.

The script as a whole is much less creative than its premise, which at least has silliness going for it. The story relies less on invention than formula. Gnomeo (voiced by James McAvoy) duels Tybalt (Jason Stathan) not with swords but on lawn mowers, down an alley in neutral territory. Tybalt plays dirty, as you might expect, and his tactics are like Masala’s in the “Ben-Hur” chariot race. 

Garden imagery boosts the natural basis of the story, topped off by Gnomeo’s first encounter with Juliet atop a greenhouse, while both are disguised in dark colors. She is trying to attain a precious orchid resting on the roof’s peak; he’s trying to sneak into enemy territory. Their first mutual stare is cute.

But little else is. As if willed by the greedy gods of modern cinema, wherein all conflict is resolved through the entertainment of explosions, a giant lawn tractor called Terrafermalator gets purchased online and is dispatched quickly to rip up everything in its path.

One can only wonder if the filmmakers go to the trouble of adapting Shakespeare for children, why not appeal to youthful intelligence, instead of their senseless appetite for video games.

It should be noted the preview print of “Gnomeo and Juliet” was in 3-D, presumably to give it more depth. However, you need more than special glasses to eliminate the shallowness of this production.

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