Swearing and swashbuckling

Sue Arnold on Vernon God Little | The Triumph of the Sun

Vernon God Little, by DBC Pierre, read by Ewan Bremner (3hrs abridged, Faber/ Penguin, £12.99 CD)

Let's not beat about the bush. If I hadn't known that this first novel by a self-confessed swindler was the 2003 Booker Prize winner, I would have switched off my CD player after 30 seconds. I did, as it happens - to start again. There seemed to be a blockage somewhere. Either in my ears or in Ewan Bremner's mouth. Whichever it was, the words were coming out coated with wet concrete and virtually unintelligible. Had I heard more about the book and less about the author's colourful life, I'd have twigged right away that Bremner was in full-on, role-playing mode - and doing it extremely well. Vernon God Little is a 15-year-old high-school kid from Martirio, Texas, a one-horse town where barbecued chicken and sex are the residents' chief preoccupations. Until, that is, 16 high-school students are gunned down by Vernon's best friend and he is arrested as an accomplice. He has a cast-iron alibi but it hinges on disclosing a delicate personal problem and, frankly, he'd rather not. As basic material for comedy, it doesn't sound promising, but Pierre's gallery of small-town weirdos and death-row hustlers is so convincing and chaotic you have to laugh. I used to think Holden Caulfield had cornered the market in mixed-up, sensitive American adolescents, but Vernon adds a refreshingly new comic dimension to the genre. It's a book that takes some getting into, but persevere and, provided you aren't too prudish about cuss words, you won't be disappointed.

The Triumph of the Sun, by Wilbur Smith, read by Tim Piggott-Smith (6hrs abridged, Macmillan, £12.99)

This is Smith's 30th novel in a blockbusting literary career spanning more than 40 years and the first, I freely admit, that I've succeeded in finishing. Like all his novels it's set in Africa - it is 1885 and General "Chinese" Gordon is desperately defending Khartoum against the mad Mahdi and his equally fanatical followers. Will the three beautiful daughters of the British governor fall into rebel hands, or will dashing Captain Penrod Ballantyne of the 10th Hussars or equally dashing buccaneer trader Ryder Courtney save them from a fate worse than death? Swashbuckling, seduction, sun, sand and absolutely no soul-searching, this is good old-fashioned escapism at its very best.

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