

Written by Chase "AggroSk8er" Ansok

Version 2.1f (f meaning final) -- 21 February 2005
"And so I says to Mable, I says 'READ THE FAQ!' And then I says, 
'Before asking me a question about the location of something, 
check the map that came with your game!'"

This guide is pretty much complete, and updates will be very rare, if ever. If
you see a website not using this version, please tell me so I can submit it to
them. E-mails will still be answered. Thank you everyone who made this guide
possible, and for making this the most widely read and distributed fan-made
walkthrough ever written.

2.1f Notice: The Madd Dogg glitch has been debunked. See the FAQ/Glitch section
for more details. Also, I apologize to anyone whose e-mail does not get read.
Right now, I am swamped with school, hockey, and theatre work and very rarely
get more than twenty minutes of free time. Please feel free to send e-mail, as
there is still a good chance that I'll get around to it.

My ASCII art sucks. Bite me. I still like it.

Also, tags, snapshots, and horseshoes, oh my!

!!!E-mail Info!!!

Before sending a question, ask yourself the following things:
1. Is my question answered in the FAQ? Section III, check it out.
2. Is my question answered in the guide? Look for it.
3. Is my question answered by common sense (i.e. How do I kill people)? If so,
I will laugh at you and call you stupid when you send the e-mail.
4. Is my question about the location of a vehicle? If so, I really don't know
where it is, unless it's an exportable car, in which case, check the section
on the Import/Export Crane.
5. Is my question about a glitch, but not a submission (i.e. how to fix one)?
If so, I can't help you. I am not tech support.
6. Is my question about MILLIE for the KEYCARD or MADD DOGG? If so, NO! I
can't help you! These are glitches, and while people have sent in fixes, none
of them are guaranteed. I've tried 30-40 different methods, and it looks to be
very random, and very glitch.
7. Have I already tried doing something before asking it (i.e. What happens if
I do this...)? If not, save, then try it. If it's bad, don't do it. If it's
good, you should do it.
8. Is my question about a cheat? If so, don't send it. Period. End of story.
9. Is my question about PERMISSION TO USE THE GUIDE ON A WEBSITE? If so, don't
even bother. No other websites can use the guide.
10. Is your question about a different glitch than the major ones above? If so,
then check the glitch section. This mainly includes the GYM GLITCH.
11. Is my question something that sounds like it's been asked before (i.e. 
maybe something about the planes in Easter Bay Airport)? If so, read the FAQ!
12. Is my question written with the basic principles of the English language,
such as at least an attempt to use grammar, spelling, and punctuation? If not,
I will probably not respond to the e-mail.
13. Does my question have a proper heading (i.e. If it's about the mission 
Nines and AKs, put Nines and AKs Question as the title)? If not, please use one
instead of having "GTA:SA" or something as the title.
14. Finally, do I understand that by taking the 60 seconds to read these 14
points, you have saved both you and I a lot of trouble? If so, then I love you.

Before sending a submission, ask yourself the following things:
1. Is my submission already in the guide? If so, it will be disregarded. This
is especially important for the Triathlon (Beat the Cock) races.
2. Is my submission a strategy for a mission that actually needs it? If not, it
will be disregarded. Easy missions with no real alternate strategies will be
ignored because they are just unnecessary.
3. Is my submission a glitch or Easter Egg? If so, make sure that the title is
4. Is my submission utterly pointless (i.e. There are planes in this game, did
you know that)? If so, then don't send that either.

Current completion progress: 100%
Total time logged to 100%: 68:05 
I am: Playing World of Warcraft. The guide is pretty much done.

O. Version History (dd/mm/yy) (555O)

2.1f -- 11/02/05    Sections updated: Criminal Rankings, Easter Eggs, FAQ
                    Missions updated: Chiliad Challenge
                    E-mail count: 6333 (look how much slower :D <3 :D)

2.0f -- 01/01/05    Sections updated: Flight Rankings (!), Vehicle Info, Easter
                    Eggs, FAQ
                    Missions updated: Are You Going to SF?
                    E-mail count: 5726

1.9a -- 24/12/04    Sections updated: Girlfriends, Weapon Info, Flight
                    Rankings, Glitches, Easter Eggs, Special Thanks, FAQ.
                    E-mail count: 5522
                    There will be one more update before New Years, then you
                    should stop expecting updates except on a monthly basis,
                    and expect e-mail replies to be slower.

1.8a -- 16/12/04 -- Sections updated: FAQ, Criminal Rankings, The Heist, Easter
                    Eggs, Glitches
                    Missions updated: Key to Her Heart, Zeroing In
                    E-mail count: 5281

1.7a -- 09/12/04 -- Added a section for e-mail submissions info, as well as
                    fixed some horrible glaring errors in the guide.
                    Sections updated: Glitches, Easter Eggs, FAQ, 100%, the
                    Legacy, various other fixes.
                    Missions updated: St. Mark's Bistro, Learning to Fly
                    E-mail count: 4979

1.6a -- 04/12/04 -- I updated a whole lot of stuff and I really lost track of
                    what got fixed. Sorry to anyone that didn't get e-mails
                    answered over the weekend, but I was enjoying a nice four
                    day vacation. Also, happy birthday to me, eh? (That was on
                    the 29th).
                    E-mail count: 4683

1.5a -- 25/11/04 -- Sections updated: Vehicle Info
                    Missions updated: High Noon, Military Service
                    E-mail count: 4211

1.4a -- 24/11/04 -- Sections updated: Glitches
                    Missions updated: Import/Export Garage
                    Coming soon: Crap no one cares about.
                    E-mail count: 4045

1.3a -- 23/11/04 -- Sections updated: Vehicle Info, FAQ, Easter Eggs, Glitches,
                    Controls, Safe House
                    Missions updated: Big Smoke's Couriers, End of the Line,
                    High Stakes, Lowrider, Los Desperados
                    Coming soon: Crap no one cares about.
                    E-mail count: 3889
                    I had a system crash and I lost 40% of what I added in this
                    update. My apologies to everyone that sent things in that
                    I planned on adding.

1.2a -- 19/11/04 -- Sections updated: Glitches, Easter Eggs, Criminal Rankings,
                    FAQ, What I Want, Vehicle Info.
                    Missions updated: Up, Up, and Away (not actually updated,
                    just stop sending me goddamn e-mails), Trucking, Puncture
                    Wounds, Takeoff, Interdiction, Madd Dogg.
                    Coming soon: More stuff.
                    E-mail count: 3451

1.1a -- 17/11/04 -- Sections updated: Easter Eggs, Vehicle Info, Tags, etc,
                    Turf Wars, Glitches.
                    Missions updated: Don Peyote, Pimpin', Vigilante Glitch.
                    Coming soon: Not a whole lot.
                    E-mail count: 3252

1.0a -- 16/11/04 -- Sections updated: Hideouts, 100%, Glitches, Easter Eggs.
                    Missions updated: Learning to Fly, Up, Up, and Away!
                    Missions added: End of the Line.
                    Coming soon: All the extra crap.
                    E-mail count: 3127


3.4b -- 15/11/04 -- Sections updated: Vehicle Info (Moonbeam), 100%.
                    Missions updated: SF Courier, Don Peyote.
                    Missions added: All remaing missions sans End of the Line.
                    Coming soon: End of the Line + extraneous crap.
                    E-mail count: 3015

3.3b -- 14/11/04 -- Sections updated: FAQ, Home Invasion, Vehicle Info (Helis+
                    Planes), 100%, Girlfriends, Hideouts.
                    Missions updated: Monster.
                    Missions added: All of Las Venturas + the start of Los
                    Santos II.
                    Coming soon: The Return to Los Santos.
                    E-mail count: 2903
                    I also did some mass spell checking.

3.2b -- 13/11/04 -- Sections updated: Vehicle Info Lowriders+Airplanes+High 
                    Performance Cars), Race Tournaments, Tags etc, 100%, the
                    Legacy, Other Not 100% Stuff (new section)
                    Missions updated: Local Liquor Store, Firefighter.
                    Missions added: LV Courier, Dirt Ring, Quarry Missions, 
                    the first three Woozie missions.
                    Side missions left: None.
                    Coming soon: More missions.
                    E-mail count: 2766

3.1b -- 12/11/04 -- Sections updated: 100%, the Legacy, Hideouts.
                    Missions updated: Los Santos Courier, Big Smoke Courier.
                    Missions added: Street races! Lots of them!, Kickstart
                    Side missions left: LV Courier, Dirt Ring, Firetruck, Taxi,
                    Horseshoes, Oysters, Quarry Missions.
                    Coming soon: Once these six annoying side missions are
                    complete, which should be by Sunday, I will continue with
                    missions until the end of the game. Hooray!
                    E-mail count: 2655 (slow day, thanks doods)

3.0b -- 11/11/04 -- I've updated the whole damn guide. For everyone that ever
                    complained about not being able to find something, you can
                    go shove it now :D
                    Sorry PlanetGTA. If you need any help updating, give me a
                    E-mail count: 2615                   

2.6b -- 10/11/04 -- Sections updated: Clothing, Hideouts, Trucking.
                    Missions updated: None.
                    Missions added: Cesar's Stealing Cars strand, Bike School.
                    Coming soon: Street races, Import/Export garage, all
                    remaining side missions. This should be done by, I hope,
                    Sunday the 14th, or perhaps Monday. Please be patient.
                    Note: I'm working on getting a labeling system done for
                    all parts of the guide. Sites using this guide as HTML do
                    not need to worry about it. Those with text should please
                    make note that update the guide with the fixes.
                    E-mail count: 2425

2.5b -- 09/11/04 -- Sections updated: FAQ, Vehicle Info, Car Mods Info, 100%,
                    the Legacy, Hideouts.
                    Missions updated: Boating School, Learning to Fly.
                    Missions added: Airstrip Missions.
                    Coming soon: Cesar's missions, street races, and the 
                    Import/Export garage. 
                    E-mail count: 2305

2.4b -- 08/11/04 -- Sections updated: Gambling, Vehicle Info, FAQ, Boating
                    School, 100%, The Legacy, Hideouts.
                    Missions updated: Mike Toreno. 
                    Missions added: Mike Toreno's mission strand + Learning to
                    Coming soon: Airstrip missions, Cesar's missions, street
                    races, and the Import/Export garage.
                    E-mail count: 2146

2.3b -- 07/11/04 -- Or maybe not. I spent the entire day collecting spray tags,
                    snapshots, and oysters. I still get to do all of the LV 
                    horseshoes and oysters, but after that, it's all good. I'm
                    scared though, just with all the side missions I still have
                    left to do. I still haven't gotten a call about the street
                    races, so I'm wondering what's going on there. Those are
                    probably a huge chunk of %. Desert stuff coming tomorrow,
                    with a big section for PILOT SCHOOL. Woo. Next week's big
                    project is the Import/Export dock and The Desert missions.
                    E-mail count: 1992 (ha!)

2.2b -- 06/11/04 -- Blahblahponies. Thanks to Danny Miller for fixing like
                    forty different typos. Lots added to the guide, more coming
                    to the FAQ, Las Venturas starts tomorrow right on schedule.
                    Damn I'm good.
                    E-mail count: 1812

2.1b -- 04/11/04 -- Working on side missions and main missions again. SF 
                    Courier, NRG Challenge, and Driving School are up, now
                    starting to get out of SF. I should be in LV by Saturday,
                    but after Driving School, there are like 15 street races
                    that unlock, and I'd love to get those done. The street
                    races are the only side quests that I've yet to add, and I
                    just unlocked them, so expect those soon. I'm also going to
                    take some time this week to do some oyster, spray, and
                    snapshot hunting to up this %.
                    E-mail count: 1487

2.0b -- 03/11/04 -- Going back to the full guide now. I have time for it, I
                    think. Sorry for the lack of updates, but I think adding
                    huge sections to the guide makes up for it, no?
                    E-mail count: ~1200

1.5b -- 31/10/04 -- Hope everyone had a nice Halloween. If you spent it sitting
                    at home playing SA, a thousand shames. Working on San
                    Fierro, I put Supply Lines...up for Zero.
                    E-mail count: 1036

1.4b -- 30/10/04 -- Just got into San Fierro by doing all the Badlands crap
                    Hopefully I can do Zero's missions by tomorrow so you can
                    all sleep easily. Read the FAQ doods.
                    E-mail count: 865

1.3b -- 29/10/04 -- Weekend is here. Yeehaw. I moved the FAQ to section III.
                    Now you HAVE to read it before sending me a stupid e-mail
                    about things that I have already answered. The word FAQ
                    appears 19 times in this guide. Please acknowledge it.
                    E-mail count: 651

1.2b -- 28/10/04 -- More missions, more FAQ. Found a way to make millions of
                    dollars doing nothing. Whee. Changed Cesar back to being
                    a story mission to avoid confusion.
                    The weekend is coming. Expect me to finish off some of the
                    things I skipped in LS (BMX Challenge, maybe some stadium
                    events if I can powerlevel my skills) and head off to the
                    Badlands and San Fierro.
                    E-mail count: 453

1.1b -- 27/10/04 -- More missions up, more FAQ up.
                    E-mail count: 268

1.01b - 27/10/04 -- More fixes to the new style of the guide.

1.0b -- 26/10/04 -- Blahblah null and void now.Taking up too much damn space.

0.1b -- 25/10/04 -- Got the game today. Playing my ass off. Added basic stuff.

0.04b - 23/10/04 -- Bunches of new information.

0.03b - 19/10/04 -- Las Venturas update.

0.02b - 25/09/04 -- San Fierro update...finally.

0.01b - 12/09/04 -- More updates; preparing for a big update on the main site.

0.0b -- 30/08/04 -- Very first version of the guide. I'm using the basics from
                    my GTA:VC to run guide, which has saved me a LOT of time.
                    I plan on picking the game up on release date and just
                    going nuts on it.

Table of Contents (CTRL-F -> Paste in code for quick jump, leave the
                  parentheses in and go case-sensitive for a perfect result)

O. Version History (555O)
I. Introduction (555I)
     a. Personal Rant (555Ia)
     b. About This Guide (555Ib)
     c. What I Want (And Don't Want) (555Ic)
II. Legal Junk (555II)
      a. Basic Questions (555IIIa)
      b. When can I... (555IIIb)
      c. Last Missions and 100% (555IIIc)
      d. How do I... (555IIId)
      e. Why..., Why not..., Where is... and What is... (555IIIe)
      f. Cheats and Tech Support (555IIIf)
      g. Other (555IIIg)
IV. *Los Santos Walkthrough* (555IV)
      a. Sean "Sweet" Johnson I (555IVa)
        1. Big Smoke (555IVa1)
        2. Ryder (555IVa2)
        3. Tagging Up Turf (555IVa3)
        4. Cleaning The Hood (555IVa4)
        5. Drive-Thru (555IVa5)
        6. Nines and AKs (555IVa6)
        7. Drive-By (555IVa7)
        8. Sweet's Girl (555IVa8)
        9. Cesar Vialpando (555IVa9)
      b. Lance "Ryder" Wilson (555IVb)
        1. Home Invasion (555IVb1)
        2. Catalyst (555IVb2)
        3. Robbing Uncle Sam (555IVb3)
      c. Cesar Vialpando (555IVc)
        1. High Stakes, Low-Rider (555IVc1)
      d. Melvin "Big Smoke" Harris (555IVd)
        1. OG Loc (555IVd1)
        2. Running Dog (555IVd2)
        3. Wrong Side Of The Tracks (555IVd3)
        4. Just Business (555IVd4)
      e. Jefferey "OG Loc" Martin (555IVe)
        1. Life's a Beach (555IVe1)
        2. Madd Dogg's Rhymes (555IVe2)
        3. Management Issues (555IVe3)
        4. House Party (555IVe4)
      f. Officer Frank Tenpenny (555IVf)
        1. Burning Desires (555IVf1)
        2. Gray Imports (555IVf2)
      g. Sean "Sweet Johnson II (555IVg)
        1. Doberman (555IVg1)
        2. Los Sepulcros (555IVg2)
        3. Reuniting the Families (555IVg3)
        4. The Green Sabre (555IVg4)
V. *Badlands Walkthrough* (555V)
      a. Officer Frank Tenpenny (555Va)
        1. Badlands (555Va1)
      b. Catalina I (555Vb)
        1. First Date (555Vb1)
        2. Tanker Commander (555Vb2)
      c. The Truth I (555Vc)
        1. Body Harvest (555Vc1)
      d. Cesar Vialpando I (555Vd)
        1. King in Exile (555Vd1)
      e. Catalina II (555Ve)
        1. First Base (555Ve1)
        2. Against All Odds (555Ve2)
        3. Gone Courting (555Ve3)
        4. Small Town Bank (555Ve4)
        5. Made In Heaven (555Ve5)
        6. Local Liquor Store (555Ve6)
      f. Cesar Vialpando II (555Vf)
        1. Wu Zi Mu (555Vf1)
        2. Farewell, My Love... (555Vf2)
      g. The Truth II (555Vg)
        1. Are You Going to San Fierro? (555Vg1)
VI. *San Fierro Walkthrough* (555VI) 
      a. Carl Johnson's Garage (555VIa)
        1. Wear Flowers in Your Hair (555VIa1)
        2. 555 We Tip (555VIa2)
        3. Deconstruction (555VIa3)
      b. Smoke's Couriers (555VIb)
        1. Big Smoke's Cash (555VIb1)
        2. Yay Courier (555VIb2)
      c. Syndicate Missions (555VIc)
        1. Photo Opportunity (555VIc1)
        2. Mission: Jizzy (555VIc2)
        3. T-Bone Mendez (555VIc3)
        4. Mike Toreno (555VIc4)
        5. Outrider (555VIc5)
        6. Snail Trail (555VIc6)
        7. Ice Cold Killa (555VIc7)
        8. Pier 69 (555VIc8)
        9. Toreno's Last Flight (555VIc9)
      d. Wu Zi Mu (555VId)
        1. Mountain Cloud Boys (555VId1)
        2. Ran Fa Li (555VId2)
        3. Lure (555VId3)
        4. Amphibious Assault (555VId4)
        5. The Da Nang Thang (555VId5)
      e. Syndicate Missions II (555VIe)
        1. Yay Ka-Boom-Boom (555VIe1)
      f. Zero's RC (555VIf)
        1. Air Raid (555VIf1)
        2. Supply Lines... (555VIf2)
        3. New Model Army (555VIf3)
      g. Back to School (555VIg)
        1. The 360 (555VIg1)
        2. The 180 (555VIg2)
        3. Whip and Terminate (555VIg3)
        4. Pop and Control (555VIg4)
        5. Burn and Lap (555VIg5)
        6. Cone Coil (555VIg6)
        7. The 90 (555VIg7)
        8. Wheelie Weave (555VIg8)
        9. Spin and Go (555VIg9)
       10. P.I.T. Maneuver (555VIg10)
       11. Alley Oop (555VIg11)
       12. City Slicking  (555VIg12)
VII. *The Desert Walkthrough* (555VII)
      a. Mike Toreno (555VIIa)
        1. Monster (555VIIa1)
        2. Highjack (555VIIa2)
        3. Interdiction (555VIIa3)
        4. Verdant Meadows (555VIIa4)
      b. Learning to Fly (aka PILOT SCHOOL) (555VIIb)
        1. Takeoff (555VIIb1)
        2. Land Plane (555VIIb2)
        3. Circle Airstrip (555VIIb3)
        4. Circle Airstrip and Land (555VIIb4)
        5. Takeoff Helicopter (555VIIb5)
        6. Land Helicopter (555VIIb6)
        7. Destroy Targets (555VIIb7)
        8. Loop-the-Loop (555VIIb8)
        9. Barrel Roll (555VIIb9)
       10. Parachute Onto Target (555VIIb10)
      c. Airstrip Missions (555VIIc)
        1. N.O.E. (555VIIc1)
        2. Stowaway (555VIIc2)
        3. Black Project (555VIIc3)
        4. Green Goo (555VIIc4)
      d. Cesar Vialpando (555VIId)
        1. Zeroing In (555VIId1)
        2. Test Drive (555VIId2)
        3. Customs Fast Track (555VIId3)
        4. Puncture Wounds (555VIId4)
VIII. *Las Venturas Walkthrough* (555VIII)
      a. Wu Zi Mu (555VIIIa)
        1. Fender Ketchup (555VIIIa1)
        2. Explosive Situation (555VIIIa2)
        3. You've Had Your Chips (555VIIIa3)
      b. The Truth (555VIIIb)
        1. Don Peyote (555VIIIb1)
      c. Ken Rosenburg (555VIIIc)
        1. Intensive Care (555VIIIc1)
        2. Meat Business (555VIIIc2)
        3. Freefall (555VIIIc3)
      d. Officer Frank Tenpenny (555VIIId)
        1. Misappropriation (555VIIId1)
        2. High Noon (555VIIId2)
      e. Madd Dogg (555VIIIe)
        1. Madd Dogg (555VIIIe1)
      f. Salvatore Leone (555VIIIf)
        1. Saint Mark's Bistro (555VIIIf1)
      g. The Heist (555VIIIg)
        1. Architectural Espionage (555VIIIg1)
        2. Key to Her Heart (555VIIIg2)
        3. Dam and Blast (555VIIIg3)
        4. Cop Wheels (555VIIIg4)
        5. Up, Up, and Away! (555VIIIg5)
        6. Breaking the Bank at Caligula's (555VIIIg6)
IX. *Return to Los Santos Walkthrough* (555IX)
      a. Opening Mission (555IXa)
        1. A Home in the Hills (555IXa1)
      b. CJ's Mansion (555IXb)
        1. Vertical Bird (555IXb1)
        2. Home Coming (555IXb2)
        3. Cut Throat Business (555IXb3)
      c. Sean "Sweet" Johnson (555IXc)
        1. Beat Down on B-Dup (555IXc1)
        2. Grove 4 Life (555IXc2)
      d. The Riots (555IXd)
        1. Riot (555IXd1)
        2. Los Desperados (555IXd2)
        3. End of the Line (555IXd3)
X. Side Missions (555X)
      a. Los Santos Missions (555Xa)
        1. Firefighter (555Xa1)
        2. Home Invasion (555Xa2) 
        3. Paramedic (555Xa3)
        4. Pimpin' (555Xa4)
        5. Taxi Driver (555Xa5)
        6. Vigilante (555Xa6)
        7. Lowrider Challenge (555Xa7)
        8. Los Santos Courier (555Xa8)
        9. BMX Challenge (555Xa9)
       10. Los Santos Arena (8-track) (555Xa10)
      b. Badlands + San Fierro Missions (555Xb)
        1. Chiliad Challenge (555Xb1)
           a. Scotch Bonnet Yellow Route (555Xb1a)
           b. Birdseye Winder Yellow Route (555Xb1b)
           c. Cobra Run (555Xb1c)
        2. San Fierro Arena (Blood Bowl) (555Xb2)
        3. San Fierro Courier (555Xb3)
        4. NRG Challenge (555Xb4)
        5. Valet Parking (555Xb5)
      c. The Desert + Las Venturas Missions (555Xc)
        1. Boating School (555Xc1)
          s. Basic Seamanship (555Xc1a)
          b. Plot a Course (555Xc1b)
          c. Fresh Slalom (555Xc1c)
          d. Flying Fish (555Xc1d)
          e. Land, Sea, and Air (555Xc1e)
        2. Freight Train (555Xc2)
        3. Trucking (555Xc3)
        4. Ammunation Challenge (555Xc4)
        5. Import/Export Crane (555Xc5)
        6. Bike School (555Xc6)
           a. The 360 (555Xc6a)
           b. The 180 (555Xc6b)
           c. The Wheelie (555Xc6c)
           d. Jump and Stop (555Xc6d)
           e. The Stoppie (555Xc6e)
           f. Jump and Stoppie (555Xc6f)
        7. Las Venturas Arena (Dirt Track) (555Xc7)
        8. Las Venturas Arena (Kickstart) (555Xc8)
        9. Las Venturas Courier (555Xc9)
       10. Quarry Missions (555Xc10)
       d. Race Tournaments (555Xd)
         1. Los Santos Circuit (555Xd1)
         2. San Fierro Circuit (555Xd2)
         3. Las Venturas Circuit (555Xd3)
         4. Las Venturas Airport Checkpoints (555Xd4)
XI. Basic Info  (555XI)
       a. Controls (555XIa)
         1. On Foot (555XIa1)
         2. In Car (555XIa2)
         3. On Bike (555XIa3)
         4. In Helicopter (555XIa4)
         5. In Plane (555XIa5)
       b. **** Tha Police! (555XIb)
       c. Statistics (555XIc)
       d. Respect (555XId)
       e. Weapon Info (555XIe)
       f. Stores Info (555XIf)
       g. Safe House Info (555XIg)
       h. Car Mods Info (555XIh)
       i. Girlfriend Info (555XIi)
       j. Gambling Info (555XIj)
       k. Tags, Oysters, etc. (555XIk)
       l. Extras (Needs Work) (555XIl)
         1. Unique Jumps (555XIl1)
         2. Two-player Stuff (555XIl2) 
         3. Arcades and Other Extraneous Stuff (555XIl3)
         4. Beat the Cock (555XIl4) (THESE ARE THE TRIATHLON RACES)
         5. Other Not 100% Stuff (555XIl5)
       m. Gangs and Turf Wars (555XIm)
       n. 100%, The Legacy (555XIn)
XII. Vehicle Info (555XII)
      a. SUVs and Wagons (555XIIa)
      b. 2-Door Sedans (555XIIb)
      c. 4-Door Luxury Sedans (555XIIc)
      d. Muscle Cars (555XIId)
      e. Street Racers (555XIIe)
      f. High Performance Cars (555XIIf)
      g. Heavy Trucks and Utility (555XIIg)
      h. Light Trucks and Vans (555XIIh)
      i. Lowriders (555XIIi)
      j. Recreational (555XIIj)
      k. Bikes and Motorcycles (555XIIk)
      l. Civil Service and Transportation (555XIIl)
      m. R3 Vehicles (555XIIm)
      n. Airplanes (555XIIn)
      o. Helicopters (555XIIo)
      p. Boats (555XIIp)
      q. RC Cars (555XIIq)
XIII. Extraneous Crap (555XIII)
      a. Glitches (555XIIIa)
      b. Easter Eggs (555XIIIb)
      c. Criminal Rankings (555XIIIc)
      d. Flight Rankings (555XIIId)
XIV. Contact Information (555XIV)
XV. Special Thanks (555XV)

I. Introduction (555I)

Hello and welcome to my Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas FULL Walkthrough and 
FAQ. GTA:SA, as it will be referred to as of now, is the next installment of
Rockstar's ground-breaking series. Grand Theft Auto 3 has won world-wide 
prestige for the amount of freedom and advanced gameplay that gamers had 
yet to see.

GTA:VC, released a little over a year later, took the same game and made it
even better. More weapons, more cars, more freedom. GTA:SA is the third
installment of to GTA3, and looks to have the most freedom of all. The
possibilities for this game are endless.

    A. Personal Rant (555Ia)

    This guide takes up a lot, a lot, a LOT of time. I go to school full time.
    I play for a travel hockey team out of San Mateo, California. I DO have a 
    social life. So please, be gentle with me. I will work on this guide as 
    much as possible, but I do have other things to do. As far as I know, I'm
    not getting paid for this. If someone wants to give me money to hurry up, 
    then contact me. Money is good.

    B. About This Guide (555Ib)

    This is a COMPLETE walkthrough for San Andreas. It should cover everything
    you need to get 100% and some of the extra crap that's just fun.

    C. What I Want (And Don't Want) (555Ic)

    Here is what I want: Suggestions for missions, cool tricks that I
    haven't found, important information, pleasant e-mails, and questions that
    I haven't answered 40,000 times. If it's in the FAQ and you ask a question,
    you will be yelled at. I will swear at you and call you stupid. I'm not
    even kidding.

    What I don't want: Questions that I've already answered in the guide,
    questions answered in your instruction manual, mindless rants, viruses,
    bad porn (good porn is fine, so long as it's free), spam, and things in
    AOL gibberish. Please use decent grammar. "how i do M4-1 plz hlp" gets
    the trash can real fast, or in my "stupidest e-mails ever" section, as you
    can see at the end of the guide.

    If it isn't in either one, feel free to send it in. If it's good, I'll
    post it, if not, I'll probably give you a reply. Also note that it really
    helps if your title has something to do with your e-mail. "San Andreas",
    "GTA", "Question", and "(no subject)" get responded to last usually,
    because I don't know whether they're good things or not.

II. Legal Junk (555II)

This document is copyrighted material of Chase Ansok and may not be used 
without expressed written consent of Chase Ansok. No part of this guide can 

The following sites have permission to use this guide: (Video Walkthroughs)

As of 10/29, I think enough sites have this guide up and running. I know that
you would love to boost traffic to your site, but most of these sites get over
500,000 hits a day, IGN and GameFAQs getting in the millions. It's safe to say
that anyone that wants to read this guide can now.

If you see another site using my guide and it is not listed here, please
contact me with the title "Copyright Infringement".

Your geocities, angelfire, livejournal, sphosting, etc. sites CANNOT use this
guide! Registered websites dedicated to gaming or San Andreas can use this
guide with my permission. You can LINK to my guide at the following address:

GameFAQs is the best place to look for the guide, but you can't link directly
to the FAQs there. That's the best link you'll get, since it's my webspace
and I'll have it updated as soon as possible. However, it has limited 
bandwidth. Don't be sad if it's down for the day.

III. Frequently Asked Questions (555III)


Q: When was Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas released?
A: GTA: San Andreas was released 26/10/04 in the US, and 29/10/04 outside
of North America.

Q: Why do some places say 25/10/04?
A: Many stores sold the game at 6-7:00 on the 25th.

Q: What is GTA: SA's ESRB rating?
A: M (17+), get a parent/college student to buy it for you.

Q: Do you work for Rockstar or any development company?
A: No, no, a thousand times no. I'm a freelance FAQ writer. I cannot fix your
glitches or explain why something happened. I just play the game like anyone
else, and I accept donations. If anyone wants exclusive rights to this guide,
please contact me and we'll negotiate something.

Q: What happened to that racist comment you made about that thing in the thing
with all the things that thinged?
A: It's gone. Despite the racism that litters this game, there won't be any
here since people are offended by it. (But for some reason not the game.)

Q: Hay where's the Madd Dogg Glitch info?
A: One of the last questions in the FAQ. Scroll down.

A: Yes, there's a dildo in the showers of the police station. Let's all giggle
at the immature weapon everyone. And yes, you CAN give it to your girlfriends
as a gift. Harharhar.


B. 'WHEN CAN I...' (555IIIb)

Q: When do I go to San Fierro?
A: Sweet's mission Green Sabre opens up the Badlands and San Fierro.

Q: When can I go to Las Venturas?
A: The Syndicate mission Yay Ka-Boom Boom opens up the Desert and Las Venturas.

Q: When can I fly planes/helicopters?
A: At the very beginning of the game, just hop the fence to the airport by
parking a truck or van next to the fence. You can also park a Packer and ride
TO GO TO PILOT SCHOOL. These e-mails are getting very old, very quickly.

Q: When can I go to driving/bike/boat/pilot school?
A: Just keep doing the damned missions. There are no schools in Los Santos,
but I know for a fact that the driving school is in San Fierro. More info
ONCE YOU CAN GET THEM. These e-mails are getting very old, very quickly.

Q: PILOT ****ING SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A: I just did a filter of my Gmail. 9% of my e-mails have the word "school" in
them, and all but twenty of them are about pilot school. Guys, just do the
missions. You have to buy it as part of a mission, which comes right after you
leave San Fierro. Freedom in GTA is earned, not given.

Q: When do I get my pilot license?
A: You can complete pilot school, or, if Paul Johnson is being truthful to me,
simply breaking in a lot and flying lots of learjets and Dodos will net you a
free pilot's license. (CONFIRMED, 20% FLYING SKILL = LICENSE)

Q: When can I fly planes at Easter Bay?
A: After you complete pilot school.

Q: When can I do Cesar's missions in San Fierro?
A: Complete Back to School and Yay Ka-Boom Boom and he'll call.

Q: When do these stores open up?
A: Read the stores section. ZIP opens up when SF is unlocked, Victim opens up
when the Desert and LV are unlocked, and Didier Sachs opens when you return to
Los Santos in A Home in the Hills.



Q: I finished the game and I only have ##%? Shouldn't I have 100%?
A: Probably not. 99/100 times, people find out they missed some stupid detail.

A: Apparently not. Double, triple, quadruple check to make sure you've done
everything. If you're positive you have, then your game is glitched. Sorry.
Remember, cheating induces glitches quite often.

Q: If I did something in the secrets section, can I still get 100%?
A: YES. SECRETS aren't cheats!

Q: Do I need Big Smoke's Couriers for 100%?
A: NO.


D. 'HOW DO I...' (555IIId)

Q: HOW DO I TWO-PLAYER!?!?!?!?!!?!!!
A: There are two player icons scattered all throughout San Andreas. Hunt them
down! I don't make maps, so I really can't help you. They are bright pink
and have pictures of two people on them. Two-player mode has two types, rampage
and free roam, and each icon has a different property to it. Happy hunting.

Q: How do I recruit gang members?
A: Target a GSF Member in green and hit up on the d-pad.

Q: How do I take over territories after I've left Los Santos via mission?
Q: When can I take over territories again?
A: You can't. The Ballas have taken over and it will stay that way until you
return to LS near the end of the game. You can take territories over again
after the mission Homecoming.

Q: How do I take over territories besides the Vagos and the Ballas?
A: You can't.

Q: How do I advance the game after I buy Verdant Meadows?
A: Complete ALL ten pilot school challenges, not just the first four.

Q: How do I turn off cheats?
A: You can't. I told you not to save with them on.

Q: How do I start Home Invasion?
A: Enter the Black Boxville across the street from the gym in Ganton,
Los Santos. Follow the instructions from there.

Q: How do I get to the parachute location?
A: It's on the tallest building in the southeast corner of Downtown Los Santos.
Enter the building via the triangle and it's on the roof. There's also one on
the very top of Mt. Chiliad. There are also like six more spawns.

Q: How do I answer yes to a question, as with the Life's A Beach mission, or
if I want to get a prostitute into my vehicle?
A: Hit right on the d-pad for a positive response, or left for a negative. This
is in your bloody goddamn instruction manual.

Q: How do I take a shower?
A: You can't really take a shower. If someone says, "You stink!", it's because
you need either new clothes, or take some time swimming in the ocean.

Q: How do I increase my sex appeal stat?
A: Clothing, haircuts, fitness, respect, and the last car that you drove are
all key to your sex appeal.

Q: How do I dual wield weapons?
A: Only the Tec9, MicroSMG, 9mm Pistol, and Sawn-off Shotgun can be dual weld.
You need Hitman in those weapons to hold two of them. Get Hitman by shooting
people, cars, cops, gang members, whatever.

Q: How do I play pool? Everyone just raises their hands at me.
A: If you ever attacked someone or targeted them in a bar, you are banned from
pool. There is no fix to this.

Q: How do I make millions of dollars doing nothing without being a cheating
loserface dogbiscuit?
A: Inside Track Betting! Head to Downtown Los Santos with about $10,000 and
bet on the worst horse. If you fail, reload. If you win, take your cash and
buy the closest safehouse (the one in Jefferson). Now take your $100k and bet
that. Congrats, you now have $1.1 or so million. Winning a third time is
very hard, since the game hates you for doing this. I got up to $18M, but it's
possible to get into the billions if you are so inclined to do so.


E. 'WHY...', 'WHY NOT...', 'WHERE IS' and 'WHAT IS...' (555IIIe)

Q: What are L3 and R3?
A: Press down on the left or right control stick for those buttons.

Q: Where is the spray can? I died and lost mine/picked up a different special.
A: In your starting house in Ganton, on the top floor in the bed room.

Q: Where is this weapon?
A: I don't know nor do I care. Bredband is working on creating a weapons
location guide and I love him for it.

Q: What are oysters/snapshots/horseshoes/spray paints?
A: The equivalent of hidden packages. There are 100 sprays in Los Santos, 50
snapshots in San Fierro, 50 horseshoes in Las Venturas, and 50 oysters in the
oceans of San Andreas.

Q: Where do I find this car that doesn't start a mission? It's just cool!!!
A: Does this LOOK like a car location guide? I don't know.

Q: Where is this car that I need for the Import/Export garage?
A: Scroll down or search for that section (555Xc5). It answers all the
questions you might have.

Q: Where is the strip club?
A: I don't know, nor do I care. I believe that there is one across the street
from the gym in San Fierro.

Q: Where is all the hidden stuff?

Q: Where is the Vortex hovercraft?
A: It's your reward for 25 Exports at the crane, and there's a parked one at
Pirates in Men's Pants.

Q: Where is the AT400?
A: In Las Venturas airport, there is a huge hangar. Stand next to it to open it
up, and the AT400 should be inside. If not, leave the airport and come back.

Q: Where is the VTOL Fighter/Hydra?
A: It's in the military base guarded by the army. You get one free for 100%,
however, as well as for completing Vertical Bird.

Q: Where is the Hunter?
A: Also in the military base. It's your reward for all gold at flight school.

Q: Where is the Import/Export crane? Why can't I use it? WHAT?!?
A: It's unlocked after you complete Customs Fast Track for Cesar, the third
mission that you get for him out in the desert. It explains everything you
need to know about the stupid crane.

Q: Where is this last Vagos territory that is not in Los Santos?
Q: Why does it say that I still have a Vagos territory left?
A: North of San Fierro, in the Bayside Marina, is a stray territory that will
rarely spawn a set of Vagos. Kill them and kill a mere one wave of gang members
and the territory is yours.

Q: Why do people say I stink?
A: You need to either get new clothes, or take some time swimming in the ocean.
The remark means nothing, and has no effect on sex appeal. It's just annoying.

Q: Why is Millie never home for Key to Her Heart?
A: I have no idea. Try saving, reloading, leaving the city, coming back,
checking at different hours, using different cars, wearing different clothes.
She's a woman; she's fickle. Get used to it.

Q: Why can't I play pool? Everyone just raises their hands.
pool. There is no fix to this.

Q: What is this Player Target thingamabobber on my map?
A: Player Target is an awesome addition. Go to your map and zoom in. Hit 
circle. It goes away. Hit circle again and it comes back. Move around and place
the target wherever you want to go. It's absolutely wonderful for plotting out
routes in races or for missions, or just whenever you need to find things, like
tags and oysters. I love that damn thing

Q: What does "The Cluckin' Cock isn't ready yet mean?
Q: When can I do the Triathlon (Beat the Cock) races?
A: After you unlock Las Venturas.



A: YES. SECRETS aren't cheats!

Q: How do I turn off cheats?

Q: I have a problem with my game, and I can't fix it. Help.
A: I'm not tech support. Call them, not me.

Q: But it's a really annoying glitch. Please fix it for me.
A: I'm still not tech support.

Q: I cheated, am I screwed now?
A: Maybe, maybe not. If you spawned something, change suits, or did anything
besides the armor/health cheat, I'd be leery. All cheats are saved and if
SA is anything like GTAIII or VC, they cannot be undone.

Update: Actually, you probably are. The mission Madd Dogg loves to glitch on
people that have cheated. You are unable to progress in the game if you get the

Q: What are the cheats? Do you care about cheats? Cheats? CHEATS?!!?
A: I hate cheats. I have never cheated in any of the GTA games. Please stop
e-mailing me about cheats. If you're using cheats, why are you using a guide?


G. OTHER (555IIIg)

Q: Vice City? And anything regarding it?
A: NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. A thousand bloody times: NO. I stopped replying
to Vice City e-mail in January of 2003. January of two thousand and three.
Stop sending me e-mail about Vice City. The e-mail in that guide hasn't
been answered in almost TWO YEARS.

Q: Why didn't you post my submission/reply to my e-mail/read my IM?
A: I receive a whole lot e-mails because of these guides. I am very busy, so 
some stuff never gets read. Odds are, if it says "I have codes", I don't care.
Most of the codes are already posted here, and the rest are probably crap.

Q: I have your old e-mail address? Can I e-mail you there?
A: Please, please, please don't use the e-mail in my Vice City guide. It's
my personal e-mail address and it's really just not cool to do that.

Q: I found this and it's not in your guide, and you want it, how do I send it
in? Also, you want it! It's not useless crap!
A: Awesome! My e-mail is! Remember, you get full 
credit for good finds, so don't hesitate to help.

Q: I submitted something and you added it without credit! What gives?
A: There are two explanations. If many people submit the same thing to me, I
add it as "submitted by multiple people". If it's something that I already knew
and just forgot to add, I usually thank you by e-mail and not in the guide. If
it's a miniscule fix like a single typo, I probably correct it and move on.

Q: I have a question that should be in this FAQ, can I send it in?
A: may not be posted, but it's worth a try.

Q: Why are you so bitchy about e-mails?
A: Because there are a lot of stupid people, and they all have my e-mail
address and come to that before ever using the walkthrough. It's incredibly
annoying, and until the e-mails start to die down, there will be a lot of 
notices about stupid e-mails.

IV. Los Santos Storyline Walkthrough (555IV)

Opening Mission:

Ride the stupid bike home. Get a feel for the controls. Giggle as you ram into
like twenty poles trying to get used to a bicycle.

    A. Sean "SWEET" Johnson, YO BROTHA (555IVa)

    1. *Big Smoke* (555IVa1)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    This is actually a pretty hard first mission because you're on a bike with
    no way to defend yourself against the Ballas. Watch the two cutscenes and
    follow Sweet. When Sweet breaks off, follow Ryder. Stay RIGHT behind them.
    Ballas will come up along side you, and they can't die for some reason.
    I watched Ryder get drilled with like three clips and he just kept riding
    and yelling at me. When you get back, Sweet calls.

    Reward: Sweet opens as a boss; Respect earned. (get used to that)

    2. *Ryder* (555IVa2)
    Difficulty: 1/10

    You're a taxi now. Drive to Reece's barber shop and get a cheap $50 cut,
    since Reece doesn't offer anything cool for under $400. Then, head to
    Well-Stacked Pizza (thanks D Stone >_>), run out when Ryder screws up and
    gets shot, and drive back to the Grove. Woo. Exciting.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    3. *Tagging Up Turf* (555IVa3)
    Difficulty: 1/10

    If you can read, you can do this. Just listen to what you're told and do
    what it says. Drive to the blip, spray paint the tags, repeat a second 
    time. And hey, 7/100 on tags. Only 93 more to find!!!!

    If you can't do this, I have no idea how to help you. The markers appear
    on your in-game radar and map. Use them.
    Reward: $200 + Respect earned.

    4. *Cleaning the Hood* (555IVa4)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Take Ryder to B-Dup's house and watch the inspiring cut scene. Check the 
    minimap for the crack dealer, target him, and start punching the ever
    living crap out of him. When he hits the floor, take the bat, get back 
    in the car, and cross the street. Go inside and target the people one by
    one, starting with the guy with the bat. When they're all down, head back
    to Sweet's.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    5. *Drive Thru* (555IVa5)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Big Smoke is hungry and wants fried chicken (look! NO RACISM! Even though
    the entire mission is a play on the stereotype, this statement no longer
    contains ANY racism! There! Also, the gigantic disclaimer up top is gone
    as well!) Anyway, the Grove heads out to Cluckin' Bell, scopes out a Balla
    ride, and sees that they're planning a hit. Pin the Tornado against a wall
    and let the Groves do their thing. Make sure that when the car blows, you
    aren't still touching it. I did that once and they all died. It was very
    sad. Also, racism is bad.

    Afterwards, Sweet calls about the gym. Go there. Spend an hour or so just
    saving, working out, saving to a new day, working out. I had my stamina
    and muscle decked out and it helps an absolute ton.

    Reward: $500 + Respect earned.

    6. *Nines and AKs* (555IVa6)
    Difficulty: 1/10

    Go see Emmet. Go through stupid tutorial. Drive to Binco. Try on ugly 
    clothes. I went with a dog tag and a backwards green bandana. Leave Binco.
    Reward: Respect earned. (though you really shouldn't have expected more)

    7. *Drive-By* (555IVa7)
    Difficulty: 3/10
    Whee. You still don't get to shoot anything. Get in the car and go to each
    set of Ballas and let the Grove take them out. Stay away from the cars,
    since they'll explode and wreck your ride. Afterwards, you get a two-star
    (oh nohs!) wanted rating. Head to the Pay-and-Spray for your complimentary
    tune up and cruise back to Sweet's.

    Jess Edwards also claims that you can just run over most of the Ballas and
    still get credit for the mission.

    Reward: $500, Respect earned, Ryder and Big Smoke open up as bosses.

    8. *Sweet's Girl* (555IVa8)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    You get to shoot stuff! Finally! Well, maybe not, if you did it the
    way I did. Just come in, run over all the Ballas and knife the one on
    the stairs. Or shoot him. Whatever. Sweet will call, so grab him and his
    girl and high tail it back to the Grove.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    9. *Cesar Vialpando* (555IVa9)
    Difficulty: Depends how good you are at Amplitude/10

    Go to the garage on the map, look at the expensive mods that you can
    foolishly add to a car. Head over to the lowriding competition and place
    your bet. I bet $1000 and it wasn't even close. Easy money if you ask me.
    The beat is slow, move the control stick, blahblahblah. When that's done,
    watch the lovely cutscene, and breathe a sigh of relief, we're done with
    Sweet for now. I really can't help you with this mission, since I can't
    come and dance for you.

    Reward: Your bet winnings + Respect earned.


    1. *Home Invasion* (555IVb1)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    This is your tutorial to home invasion. Nothing fancy here. Drive down to
    the guy's house quickly (try to make it by 6:30ish). Go in, follow the
    instructions by staying quiet. The six boxes are (1. In the first room,
    2. Through the door on the right, 3. On the first flight of stairs, 4. At
    the end of the hallway, 5. In the guy's room to the left, and 6. In the
    guy's room behind his bed). You should have plenty of time to get them
    all, but I really don't know what getting them all adds. No reason not to
    though, really. Drive to the safe house and you're good to go.
    Reward: Respect earned.

    2. *Catalyst* (555IVb2)
    Difficulty: 2.5/10

    Start again by running over all of the Vagos. When the Vagos are gone,
    the Ballas show up. Kill all four of them and head into the red blip.
    Now you get to play some stupid minigame. You have an unlimited amount of
    cases, so just check them for the minute you have. Ryder will catch
    enough to win. At one point, he pulls up right next to you, so it's not
    a big problem. End the mission by working your way around the police (it's
    only three stars) and into the Pay N' Spray. Head home to finish.

    Reward: Respect earned. 

    3. *Robbing Uncle Sam* (555IVb3)
    Difficulty: 3.5/10

    Follow the directions to the docks, jump over the wall (you should know
    how to do this by now), cap the guard, blow off the first security
    panel, then blow off the second security panel. Run in guns blazing and
    take out all of the National Guards. Get used to the fork lift, but expect
    to have to jump out a few times to help Ryder, and expect to get pulled
    out a few times by a magical guard that materializes right behind you.
    Take your time, and don't hit walls and drop the boxes. That's very bad.
    Drive the truck to the safehouse, dropping as many boxes as you see
    fit. If you can take out both of them, great. If you can't get it either,
    whatever. You can make it just fine. And that's it for Ryder.

    Andrew Stuart has this spiffy strategy:
    When you get to the locked gate, kill the National Guardsmen and LEAVE THE
    GATE SWITCH ALONE.  Head on in to the warehouse and blow the switch there.
    Kill the guards inside.  Now, get in the forklift and move all of the
    boxes, including the two outside the warehouse into nice neat rows by the
    entrance. Now go out and blow the gate switch.  Run back to the forklift
    and get ready to start loading the boxes immediately.

    After five crates, I got out and Ak'ed the guards who were trying to kill
    Ryder.  Doing this way meant that Ryder only got shot once or twice, and it
    was a nice leisurely drive home...didn't have too much of a problem with
    the Hummers (I think one flipped on the first bridge out of the docks).

    Reward: Respect earned. (Ryder's a cheap little ****, ain't he?)


    1. *High Stakes, Low-Rider* (555IVc1)
    Difficulty: 5/10

    Guh. The CPU hits a pole, it falls right over. You hit a pole, you spin and 
    lose complete control. Keep working at it. You want to floor it on the
    the three main straightaways and take it really slow during the turn
    section. You don't need a fast lowrider, you need one that handles well. 
    I was a stubborn moron and tried to do this in the Picador from the mission
    where we met Cesar, and it took me about fifteen tries. You can do this
    with any lowrider: Blade, Broadway, Remington, Savanna, Slamvan, Tornado,
    and Voodoo are the seven lowriders that are available.

    This mission IS required to advance the story, but in itself, it is not
    a storyline mission.

    Update: For all of you weird people that can't find a lowrider, open your
    eyes. Los Santos' ghetto is 90% lowriders. All of the Ballas and GSF
    members drive lowriders. There's one parked right across from Cesar's house
    for God's sake.

    Reward: $1000


    1. *OG Loc* (555IVd1)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    This is a hilarious mission, but it's also pretty annoying. Pick up Jeff...
    I mean OG Loc at the police station and drive him over to Freddy's house.
    After some taunting and tales of Jeff's life in prison, Freddy takes off on
    a PCJ. Grab the other one and pursue him. You can't kill Freddy or do
    anything to the bike, so just stay on his tail. I'm not sure how close you
    have to stay, but I fell off an overpass and followed him under it and
    I didn't fail. Eventually, Freddy parks, and you can kill him and the
    Vagos. Afterwards, drive Jeff to his new job at Burger Shot.

    NEW INFO: Apparently, you CAN kill him on the bike. I tried my ass off a 
    few times and I never got him, but some are claiming to have shot tires
    out, and then finishing him. He dies in any case.

    Reward: Respect earned; OG Loc opens as a boss.

    2. *Running Dog*  (555IVd2)
    Difficulty: 1/10

    Easy stuff. Drive to the pickup location and watch the cutscene. Super-
    sprint by tapping the X button and take out the Vago with one or two
    shotgun blasts. If you can't do this mission, you need more Stamina. Get it
    by riding the bike or treadmill at the gym.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    3. *Wrong Side of the Tracks* (555IVd3)
    Difficulty: 5/10

    Hey, finally, a decently hard mission. And it's only hard because Smoke
    shoots like he's have an epileptic seizure. The driving isn't too hard,
    but you really just have to hope that Smoke hits something. Start by
    driving to the station and hopping on the Sanchez. Go as fast as you can to
    catch up to the train and let Smoke pump lead into them. Early on, there's
    a car on the tracks. Get past the car before the train hits it to make
    sure that you lose no speed at all. When Smoke says take the high road,
    take it, and stay on it until the tunnel. Smoke seems to hit more from
    that point. If you can't get them by the time they hit north Red County,
    they've escaped, and you have to restart (you can't trip skip this one
    either ; ;). If you do get them, drive Smoke back to his house and
    celebrate a long victory. This mission sucks.
    Q: Where do I ride the Sanchez so Smoke can hit?
    A: MC Face from the SA Forums was awesome enough to make this image: -- There ya go.

    Alternate Strategy -- Ride The Train
    When Smoke says take the high road, FLOOR IT. When you hit the ramp, turn
    the bike sharply and land on top of the train. Ride to the Vagos and do 
    a forward drive-by on them. It's hard to do at first, but it's probably
    easier than dealing with Smoke's shooting.
    JC has this speedy strategy:

    I ran to the parking garage in East Beach (1 block north of the Arena,
    halfway down the East-West side street - it is several stories tall, and
    distinctive because it features semi-circular ramps between the levels that
    stick out towards the street), and picked up a NRG-500. There are ALWAYS
    two of these in this garage - one on the second floor, and one on the very
    top. With the NRG, this job was easy! I parked it right near the red start
    marker, and after the cutscene it was still there. Smoke and I hoped on and
    took off down the tracks. We easily outran the train to the first bend,
    where there is a raised platform to the left. We rode up on that, hoped
    off, and started shooting as the train went by. After that we jumped back
    on the bike and repeated all the way out to the country until the job was
    done. The trick is that the bike is so fast that you have plenty of time
    to get ahead, set up, and blast them as they go past.
    Orangemouse has another:    
    Once you reach the tracks get on the bike quick as you can, drive past the
    train and the bend on the track. You will see a bridge coming up, before
    the car on the track comes up. Get off your bike and walk up the bridge and
    you should be level with the train coming towards you. You can leave Smoke
    behind for this bit and after this is complete you can go back and pick him 
    up. When the train's in front of you, jump on it and start shooting the
    guys. Don't worry about your health too much because the guys on the train
    barely take any health off you. After you kill them all, jump off the train
    and run/drive back and pick Smoke up. He'll tell you to drop him back to
    his house. After dropping him, the mission is complete.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    4. *Just Business* (555IVd4)
    Difficulty: 5/10

    Oh wow, this mission is so ridiculously fun that I had a small orgasm in
    my pants. It starts off slow with a fight inside. If you've found an AK
    or M4 in hidden spots in Los Santos, pick them off with two shot bursts.
    If not, use your SMG, but make sure not to run out of ammo. Pick up the
    MP5s that the Ruskies drop and grab the armor behind a pillar. Meet up with
    Smoke and head outside for more gunnin' and runnin'. Just target, kill,
    retarget, and repeat until everyone is dead. Pick up as much money and ammo
    as you can and start the FUN part of the mission.

    You're on the back of the bike, and stay facing that way. The main targets
    for this whole section are the motorcycles. Take out the driver first,
    and everything else falls. But really, just make sure that every cycle
    falls down fast, since they can do some major damage. The Packer is
    indestructible; don't deal with it. When you hit the road block, just spray
    the people down, or if you're a true gunman, hit the gas tank of one of the
    cars to start a chain reaction. 

    The true challenge is in the LS River (the aqueducts). Take down every
    motorcycle and car gunman as soon as you see them! Two of the most
    stunning cinematics come down here, and this is where you'll need new
    underwear. After the jump, shoot out the sewer gates or all of your work
    will be for nothing. Shoot the explosive barrels to take out the last
    motorcycles and finally take a deep breath. It's over.

    Reward: More respect earned.

    E. Jefferey "OG LOC" Martin, I HOPE WE KILL HIM LATER (555IVe)

    1. *Life's a Beach* (Must start between 20:00 and 6:00) (555IVe1)
    Difficulty: 2/10
    These are some of the worst missions in the game. Seriously. The voice 
    actor of OG Loc (Jas Anderson) does an excellent job of really making you
    hate this guy. The first mission for Jeff (I'm not calling him OG. Get used
    to Jeff) involves driving to a beach, playing some Amplitude, stealing a 
    van, and driving it to a lockup. That's the whole thing.

    Q: How do I start dancing? The DJ talks but I can't do anything.
    A: Hit right on the D-Pad to give a positive response. Keep hitting this
    until she finally lets you dance. Now stop e-mailing me.

    Q: Hlep!!!!!!I mean, Help!!! Welp! Raroo!
    A: I can't come dance for you. This is up to you to learn how to beat.

    Reward: Respect earned; Dancing now available whenever.

    2. *Madd Dogg's Rhymes* (555IVe2)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    This is your introduction to stealth missions. I'd give a strategy, but
    really, this is a tutorial, and the game tells you what to do. The only
    thing I have to say is to not bother sneaking out. Just take an MP5 or
    whatever and blast out. There's a body armor pickup in the building, so
    just pick that up and let loose. Head back to the Burger Shot to complete
    the mission.

    Reward: Respect earned; Tenpenny opens up as a boss.

    3. *Management Issues* (Must start between 12:00 and 17:00) (555IVe3)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Drive QUICKLY to the Burger Shot so you can take the car before it has
    a chance to get anywhere. I grabbed it at the stop light and just jacked
    it. If not, you'll have to ram him out of the vehicle and head to a Pay
    N' Spray. Get to the rendezvous by 22:00 in perfect condition to continue.
    Park the car and follow the motorcade to pick up the manager. Floor the
    car and head down to the pier. Get some speed and bail out as the car
    flies into the ocean. Grab the bike and head to the Burger Shot for a cut

    Reward: Respect earned.

    4. *House Party* (555IVe4)
    Difficulty: 3.5/10

    After the cut scene, head back to Grove Street to save and whatnot. You
    don't HAVE to get a hair cut and a change of clothes; I certainly didn't.
    My CJ is bling'd >_>. Get to the OG on the map by 20:00 to get a call from
    Jeff about his party. Head to the blip for a cut scene.

    Oh nohs! The Ballas are attacking. Take your SMG, get behind cover, and 
    start auto-targeting and firing. The second wave is up on the bridge. If
    you have an assault rifle, just target, if not, use manual aim. The final
    wave has Ballas from all sides. Just target anyone with an arrow over their
    head and protect Sweet. If Sweet dies, you fail. Body armor helps
    immensely here, as it does in most missions.

    Reward: Respect earned.


    1. *Burning Desires* (555IVf1)
    Difficulty: 4/10
    Woo. Time to play with fire. Head to the molotov pickup in the alley and
    then head over to the house. Start on the door to the left and work your
    way around so that the last window you throw through is right by the front
    door. Ignore the gang members shooting you if you have body armor and just
    line your cocktails up. They'll break the windows, so you don't have to
    shoot them. Make sure that you don't burn yourself, as it takes away some
    30 or 40 health for each one. Once all five windows are on fire, run
    inside to rescue the girl. Walk around the fires into the kitchen to find
    a fire extinguisher. Hit L1 to pick it up and head to the back-left of the
    house and head up the stairs. Once in her room, you'll have to start
    fighting fires by hitting R1 and holding down circle to the base of the
    fire. There are about ten fires you need to put out on your path to back
    to the door. Once outside, get in the lowrider and head back to Grove St.,
    where you can drop Denise off.

    Reward: Denise is now your girlfriend.

    How girlfriends work: Hunt around town for some flowers and pick them up
    with L1. Head to Denise's house and hand her the flowers. This starts the
    date off nicely. Make sure you have a nice car for her and she'll get in
    and say where to go. Take her on her date, doing whatever you have to do
    to keep her happy. Afterwards, take her home and try to give her a kiss
    by walking up close and hitting L1. Getting 100% on your date meter gives
    you a pimp suit, and you can add to your "Times Laid" total on the Misc.
    stats page :D. 
    Sweet also calls after this mission, but you should finish up with
    Officer Tenpenny anyway.

    2. *Gray Imports* (555IVf2)
    Difficulty: 4.5/10
    This mission is far easier if you've wandered around town to pick up an AK
    or M4, and brought it up to Gangster or better in skill. I had a Gangster
    in AK when I did this and 180 shots with it. You WILL need a rifle to do
    this, or you'll need a prayer instead. Start by driving to the blip, then
    after the cutscene, drive around back. Hop on your car and then over the
    fence. This is a good thing, as even though you probably won't be able to
    get total stealth kills, you can at least take them out without taking
    a bunch of damage. Walk all the way around hitting R1 to target people and
    take them out fast. Towards the warehouse is a set of blocks with armor on
    it. Grab the armor and watch the two forklifts drive to you. Manually blow
    up the crates there to set off a nice chain reaction that'll alert the
    attention of the people in the warehouse. As they run out, pick them off.
    Head inside and just target, shoot, and move until everyone is dead. Grab
    the cash/ammo they drop, as well as the AK under the stairs and get to the 
    office up top. There are armor/health pickups along the way, which is why
    I put low difficulty. You get two lives basically.

    Once the Russian arms dealer starts to run. Follow him close. Here are some
    ways to kill him, since I did the mission a few times.
    Hard: Let him go into the car and follow him on the PCJ, doing drive-bys
    until he explodes.
    Medium: Shoot him a LOT before he ever makes it to the car. He has a ton of
    health, but some AK shots to the head drop him in a few seconds, and a
    shotgun does a pretty nice job too.
    Easy as pie: Follow him, don't even bother shooting. When he runs to the
    Banshee, get in and back over him. Tada, mission passed and all the
    Ruskies are gone. I fell over laughing that I didn't figure that out the
    first time, but now you can revel in my genius.

    Mack Morely has this suggestion:

    When you get to the back room of the warehouse, do NOT go in the room.
    Kill the two Ballas from the doorway and go to the left of the door. If you
    stand against the wall to the left of the door, you can see at least a part
    of the arms dealer. Just shoot whatever part of him you can see until he's
    dead. He won't even move if you don't enter the back room.

    Reward: Not a dilly-damn thing, except Sweet called me afterwards and said
    that Ammunation was open. So check that out.

    G. Sean "SWEET" Johnson, THE RETURN (Part II) (555IVg)

    1. *Doberman* (555IVg1)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    This is your tutorial to gang warfare. Start by heading into Ammunation
    and picking up some armor, maybe a shotgun and an SMG. Whatever you like,
    but head to the Ballas turf in Glen Park next. Find a group of 3+ Ballas
    and blow them away. A turf war has now started, here's how it works for
    THIS mission. Three waves of lightly clad Ballas attack and you can kill
    them without even flinching. Target, shoot, target, shoot, repeat, repeat,
    repeat. When they're all dead, track down the bad homie on the radar and
    waste him however you like.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    2. *Los Sepulcos* (Must be started between 9:00 and 17:00) (555IVg2)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    Sweet wants revenge on the Ballas, and they're all going to be at a big
    funeral in Vinewood. One of the biggest names in the Ballas, Kane, is going
    to be there out pretty much in the open. You have four minutes (very
    generous) to get to the cemetery. Once you get there, follow the 
    instructions given to you, and head STRAIGHT for Kane. Ignore all other
    Ballas. If you have body armor, you win. Run to Kane, let your homies take
    care of the rest. Pump Kane full of AK/Shotgun lead, and finish off the 
    rest of the Ballas. Get in Sweet's car and drive home. You have a two-star
    wanted level, so one cop might follow you. Not a problem; it goes away
    after the mission completion.

    Reward: Mas respeto.

    3. *Reuniting the Families* (555IVg3)
    Difficulty: 5/10

    Loc's House Party; Big Smoke's Just Business; and Tenpenny's Gray Imports. 
    If any of those six are NOT completed, this mission will not appear. You
    also need some respect (i.e. taken over territories) to get this.

    There are so many parts to this mission it's ridiculous. But man, it's a
    lot of fun.

    Part 1: Drive the Grove to the motel and watch the police ambush. Start
    targeting all the SWAT you see. The higher your AK/SMG stat, the easier
    this mission is. Hitman makes this far easier than it should be. You can
    skip this part if you want, but I suggest it for the money and ammo.

    Part 2: Inside the motel. When you enter the hotel, there is a vending
    machine that dispenses health soda. The game tells you this, so it's not
    really a secret everyone. This is just a room-by-room sweep of the motel.
    See SWAT, target SWAT, blow SWAT's face away. They will drop from the
    ceiling, roll in front of you, and hide behind boxes. Spam R1 like your
    life depends on it (CJ's does). Head up the stairs and through the hallways
    until you meet Sweet. 

    Part 3: Chopper attack. When you get to the roof, a chopper with four SWAT
    firing from it appears. Kill the SWAT, then manually aim at the chopper to
    take it down. I think it's just constant fire, since I couldn't find a
    fuel line or a way to shoot the pilot.

    Steven G says: There is a blue arrow pointing at the rotating blade just
    below the main rotor. Shoot there a few times to take it down.

    Part 4: Escape. Follow Sweet and get in the car with Ryder and Smoke. This
    is the most annoying part of the mission since you have to destroy the
    police cars; you can't get the driver. You have infinite ammo, use it. Try
    to set off chain reactions by blowing one car into another and saving
    yourself some heartache. Keep the cops off until Smoke goes through a car
    wash and the AK jams. You've won at this point, but watch the awesome
    cutscenes and celebrate. You're one mission away from getting out of Los
    Santos. Oh, and keep an eye on the billboard before and after you go
    through it.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    4. *Green Sabre* (555IVg4)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    This is the final mission for Los Santos. Completing this mission removes
    all of your guns and turns LS into a festering pile of crap. Finish every-
    thing you want to do in LS before doing this mission.

    Sweet is planning to roll on the Ballas. Before you get a chance to go,
    Cesar calls and begs you to come see what he has to show you. Drive to
    the blip where Cesar is and watch Smoke, Ryder, and Officer Tenpenny show
    their betrayal to the Grove. Once the scene is over, Sweet's health bar
    appears under the HUD. It starts dropping really quickly, so pause to the
    map and plan your route out. Once you get there, start blowing Ballas away.
    If you've got hitman in AK or at least SMG, this is pretty damn easy. Do
    the tried and true, "target, shoot, target, shoot, repeat" strategy, this
    time mainly going for cars. Once the last Balla dies, the screen goes black
    and you find yourself in the back of Tenpenny's car. You're now in the
    middle of nowhere, the Badlands, Angel Pine.

    Reward: Respect earned.

V. *The Badlands Walkthrough*  (555V)

The Badlands is a very large area. If you have the cash, I suggest you buy as
many save points as you can afford before doing some of the missions.

    1. *Badlands* (555Va1)
    Difficulty: 3/10
    Fairly easy mission. Pick up some Body Armor and an SMG from the Ammunation
    nearby, or hunt behind the trailer parks for a Tec9. Head up the mountain
    on a Sanchez until you get near the cabin.

    There are quite a few ways to do this. You can sneak up behind the cabin
    and kill the guy right as he runs out, then wipe out the feds and take
    a picture. You can chase him down and drive-by him until he gets out. You
    can blow up his car before he gets in it. Do whatever you like; the only
    thing you can't do is blow him up in his car, since you need a photo of
    his body, not his ashes. Head back to the trailer park to end this mission
    and get a phone call from Cesar. His cousin Catalina is staying in
    Dillimore, and you should head over.
    Edit: Apparently you CAN blow up the car. The body just hangs out the
    window and you photograph it.
    Reward: Respect earned; Catalina opens as a boss.


    1. *First Date* (555Vb1)

    Catalina, the ? on the map, is robbing a diner when you walk in. The whole
    mission is just the cutscene of you meeting her and a description of what
    you have to do. There are four robberies you commit with Catalina: the gas
    station in Dillimore, the OTB in Montgomery, the liquor store in Blueberry,
    and the bank in Palomino Creek. You can do them in any order.

    2. *Tanker Commander* (555Vb2)
    Difficulty: 2/10
    You don't HAVE to do this first, but it's right there, and it's fairly
    simple. Nearly everyone does this as their first robbery, and I did too.
    Head over to the gas station and follow the ingame instruction. Make sure
    that the cab is backed perfectly in. Being off a little won't attach it.
    When you start to pull away, the gas attendants follow. Ignore them. They
    will crash, or flip, or fly into the water if you just drive safely. Use
    the pause menu map to plan a route and just drive slowly and steadily. No
    insane stunts or hairpin turns. If the cab detaches, you fail. Park in the
    blip and watch the attendants run into the gas tanks. Teehee.
    Reward: $5000, RS Haul Tanker missions open up.


    1. *Body Harvest* (555Vc1)
    Difficulty: 2/10
    The cutscene for this is awesome just because seeing Tenpenny stoned out of
    his mind kicks ass. Tenpenny wants The Truth to give him some more weed,
    so you have to do The Truth a favor. Drive to "The Farm". Drive around
    back, break through the fence, and take the harvester. There are two ways
    to get out of The Farm. The first is to just take the combine harvester
    and use it as a body harvester, but take more damage and possibly explode,
    or to drive forward to each group of hicks, step out, own with SMG fire,
    then get back in. Either way works, and either way you get to drive to The
    Truth's farm. The harvest has front wheel drive, so steering is a little
    screwy. Go slow, don't try any stupid crap, and park it in the garage.

    Cesar calls afterwards and needs you to talk to him.
    Reward: Respect earned.

    1. *King in Exile* (555Vd1)

    It's just a cut scene back in Angel Pine between Kendl and Cesar about
    Smoke's betrayal.

    Catalina calls after this, however, so let's go back to her.


    1. *First Base* (555Ve1)
    This is the cut scene you get for your second meeting with Catalina. You 
    get to go out robbing again. Remember, you can do these robberies in any

    2. *Against All Odds* (555Ve2)
    Difficulty: 3/10
    This is surprisingly easy as well. Drive to Montgomery and enter the ITB
    betting place. When the alarm goes off, you get a two-star wanted level.
    Ignore it. Place a remote explosive on the door and blow it off, then put
    one on the safe and blow it off. When you step out, you now have a four-
    star wanted level. It's a special four-star level, since for some reason,
    there are almost no SWAT units. Head to the Pay N' Spray in Dillimore to
    remove the rating, then back to Catalina's cabin.
    Reward: $2000, Cesar calls and opens up for street racing.

    3. *Gone Courting* (555Ve3)
    This is the cut scene you get for your third meeting with Catalina.

    4. *Small Town Bank* (555Ve4)
    Difficulty: 4/10
    Head to the bank in Palomino Creek for this mission. Don't bother trying
    to keep the hands of the people up. No matter what, one of their hands will
    go down. You have a three-star wanted level once the alarm is hit. When
    Catalina starts yelling at you (surprise!), bash open all three ATM 
    machines and follow her outside.
    Catalina can't shoot well at all, so stay slightly in front and shoot all
    of the cops that are on the roofs, sides, behind crates, etc. Once they're
    dead, two motorcycle cops pull in. Take them out and get on the bikes.
    Try to follow Catalina, but don't worry if you can't. She eventually gets
    knocked off her bike and is trapped by the cops. On the way to her, pick
    up the police bribe. Kill all of the redneck cops around Catalina and
    take one of the Ranchers back to her hideout.
    Reward: $10000

    5. *Made in Heaven* (555Ve5)
    This is the last cutscene for the robberies with Catalina.

    6. *Local Liquor Store* (555Ve6)
    Difficulty: 5/10
    I hated this mission. It's not really that hard, just annoying. Head to the
    liquor store in Blueberry and watch the quadbikers rob the store before
    you can. You get to follow them in a chase! Catalina still can't shoot
    for her life, so shoot them down yourself if you can. You can forward
    drive-by on a quad, so get right behind a bike and kill the guy. The quad
    handles like CRAP on roads, so stay off road! It doesn't handle well at all
    really, but stay off the roads as much as possible, making note not to miss
    any bridges. Whenever you kill a quadbiker, he drops a briefcase. Ignore it
    unless you can pick it up while still moving forward. Kill all three of
    them, retrieve the cases, and head back to the hideout. We're finally done
    with Catalina's nonsense.

    Also, since so many people wanted this obvious trick added, you can just
    park a Sanchez or something outside of the store and grab that instead of
    the stupid quad bike.
    Reward: $1000, and a sigh of relief.


    1. *Wu Zi Mu* (555Vf1)
    Difficulty: 2/10
    I put this race as very easy since you can use whatever vehicle you want.
    You can do this a few ways. Take an SUV, like a Rancher for a mix of off
    and on-road speed, take a Sanchez for off-road mastery, take a Buffalo
    for on-road speed, or do what I did: Take a Linerunner or Tanker. These
    huge things can pick up a ton of speed and bang the other cars into the
    rivers, making this race pathetically easy. Make sure to go around the
    barn jump if you have one of these though. You can't fit under the barns.

    Edit: Some people have complained that you can't use a Sanchez. I was able
    to, but as I understand it, your vehicle needs to have at least four
    wheels. Guess I got lucky with a glitch.
    Reward: $5000

    2. *Farewell, My Love...* (555Vf2)
    Difficulty: 4.5/10
    Hey, everyone! It's the GTA3 guy! And his name is Claude! Everyone say
    "Hi GTA3 guy! Fido was a cooler name than Claude anyway!"

    Francis Santos-Viola has this spiffy info: 
    You mentioned that the GTA3 guy's name is Claude. His full name is Claude
    Speed, and he is, in fact, also the GTA2 guy. Rockstar made a little movie
    about him at this link:            

    This one is quite a bit harder, since the course is harder to beat going
    backwards than forwards, since you can't get an early lead very easily.
    Try not to cut corners, since the ZR-350 doesn't go off-road well. Also, 
    there is no barn jump. Go around instead of crashing into a wall of hay
    like I did. Get some speed and a good lead when you finally get some
    straightaways and make sure not to flip into the ocean. A good trick for
    this is to get first up until a bridge, then park at the entrance to the
    bridge, covering the whole thing. The other drivers will swerve into the
    river most of the time, or run into you and lose momentum at least.
    Reward: Property in San Fierro.

    Thanks to Bob Smith for some tips on these two races.


    1. *Are You Going to San Fierro?* (555Vg1)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Yes, in fact we are going to San Fierro after this. Once you've done all
    the other missions, The Truth calls, and you now have his payment for all
    of the weed. Unfortunately, the cops have spotted the fields and you have
    to burn them all with your handy Flamethrower. Stand in the middle of 
    a few patches and spray from side to side. Repeat this for all the rows,
    and you should have about two minutes to spare when you get to the van.
    The Truth hands you a rocket launcher with ten shots and tells you to
    shoot the chopper down. Do it fast! The chopper hovers for a second right
    as you get the RPG, take it down in one shot. You get to keep all the
    rockets you don't use. After the chopper hits the ground, get in the
    Reward: Respect earned, missions begin in San Fierro.

    BONUS POINT by John Doe: After you shoot the chopper down, get into the
    Mothership and then out of it. You can now commit crimes, such as going to
    Las Venturas or Area 69 with no penalties except for a slight hit to your
    meaningless criminal ranking.

VI. *San Fierro Walkthrough* (555VI)

Ah, beautiful San Fran--Fierro. Finally, a new city.


    1. *Wear Flowers in Your Hair* (555VIa1)
    Difficulty: 1/10

    This is your intro to San Fierro. Drive to the gas station to meet Jethro,
    the hospital to watch a cut scene, the hot dog stand to meet Dwaine, the
    police station to watch a cut scene, and finally, Zero's to talk to him.
    Head back to the garage. Just take your time, enjoy the sites, and don't
    flip your ride.

    Reward: Nada, Zero calls and says you can come buy his shop for $30000.

    2. *555 We Tip* (555VIa2)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    This is a Tenpenny mission, but I don't feel like adding a whole new
    section for this thing. Drive downtown to the Vank Hoff (harhar) Hotel,
    and follow the valet's car. When he gets out of the car, kill him however
    you like, making sure that no one sees you. Take the uniform and head back
    to the front of the hotel. Wait for the DA to arrive, ignoring all cars
    before his. You have four minutes to head to the garage. You can hit
    cars on this trip, just don't get a wanted level. Get to the garage, then
    get back Downtown on the same timer, this time making sure not to get a
    scratch on the car. Park the car, run outside, and watch the cutscene.

    Reward: You can now do the Valet side mission.

    3. *Deconstruction* (555VIa3)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    The timer for this starts as soon as you hit the first portable. Steal a
    Dozer, preferably from the guy driving one, since he gets annoying if you
    don't kick him out. Get some speed and ram all of the portables, making
    note not to run into the explosive barrels. Keep your speed up to make
    sure you don't get pulled out. You can also use the huge crane in the
    middle of the site if you feel like being risque. After they're all
    destroyed, the timer is removed and you can go on to part two. Take the
    Dozer and push the porta-potty into the ditch. Then get in a cement truck
    and back the Dozer STRAIGHT into the blip. It has to be straight. It can't
    be even a little off, and it has to be backwards. Fill the hole to complete
    the last mission for the garage.

    Reward: Nothing. Jethro calls and opens up Driving School for you.


    These are *NOT* required for 100%! It's been confirmed by a few people now.
    They are also not needed for storyline completion! I have this section
    here just because people ask so many questions about them.

    1. *Big Smoke's Cash* (555VIb1)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Every Monday and Friday in game time, Cesar calls saying that the cash is
    leaving Los Santos. He's carrying six packages, ram the Patriot to get
    up to six packages. Destroy the Patriot to end the mission and complete 
    it. You have until it reaches Pier 69 of San Fierro.

    Reward: The cash from the pickups.

    2. *Yay Courier* (555VIb2)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Every Wednesday and Saturday in game time, Cesar calls saying that the yay
    is leaving San Fierro. He's on a Sanchez, so get one yourself to follow
    him without losing traction. Kill him fast, since putting a hole in his
    backpack makes you receive less money. Kill him to end the mission.

    Reward: Cash for turning in the yay.

    These missions must be completed before the ten Syndicate Missions are
    completed, the last being Yay Ka-Boom Boom. Cesar will stop calling after
    that point.


    1. *Photo Opportunity* (555VIc1)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    This is just a simple, "Let's drive long distances in crappy cars!" 
    mission. Head out to southwest Blueberry and pick up Cesar, listening to
    what he has to say. Head down to Angel Pine, where we just spent half of
    our last missions. Get up on the roof and get ready to take some pictures.
    Picture 1: Ryder, as he steps out of his truck.
    Picture 2: T-Bone Mendez, as he steps out of his car.
    Picture 3: Dude in a suit, as he steps out of his brown sedan.
    Picture 4: Jizzy B, just as he steps out of his Broadway.

    Make sure you get a picture of their faces. A side shot does not count,
    and missing one shot fails you. Take the shots and head back to the
    garage in San Fierro. Whee.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    2. *Mission: Jizzy* (555VIc2)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    A step up from the last one, this is "Drive a car and kill things too."
    First, drop Jizzy's girl off at the hotel downtown, then head over to
    Hashbury (the two minutes is very kind), and kill the pimp. Next, head
    underneath the overpass in Doherty and kill the two guys beating up Jizzy's
    girl; the health bar is also very kind. Finally, head back to Downtown to
    find a priest and his protection assisting the whore off the streets.
    Concentrate on the limo and let it catch fire. Once it explodes, the
    protection will stop and get out. Run them down or shoot them. You get a
    two-star wanted level AFTER the mission, so head out and save.
    Reward: $3000; Respect earned. Woozie calls and opens for business. Stick
    to the Syndicate for now.

    3. *T-Bone Mendez* (555VIc3)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Head over to the vehicle and get on the PCJ. Pick a thief and follow him.
    You can either drive-by him and kill him, or just get right behind the
    bike and take the package off with L1. If you do the latter, the thief will
    pursue and shoot you for a while until he gets bored, or something. After
    five minutes, the thieves will start making a run for their rendezvous
    points. Take them down before they get there, but you should have plenty of
    times. Once you get all the packages, head back to the Pleasure Dome.
    Reward: $5000; respect earned.

    4. *Mike Toreno* (555VIc4)
    Difficulty: 5/10
    This mission sucks because there are so many ways to fail. You start with
    a 5:30 time limit and you have to do a whole lot, and do a lot of
    different things. Start by getting in the car and driving to the
    construction site behind your garage in Doherty. Oh no, wrong spot. Go
    through the site and down onto the road below, cutting across the railroad
    tracks and some grass. Head into the docks area and then...wrong spot. Head
    all the way over to the Easter Bay Airport. The game confirms for you that
    this is indeed the final spot. Once you get there, a signal meter starts
    to come on. Usually the van is on the far runway, but watch the road and
    don't fly into the ocean like I did the first time. Once the van is
    located, the timer goes away and you can go to work.

    Drive-by and ram the van until it smokes. Do not let it explode! Mike is in
    the van and if he dies, you fail! Let the van come to a stop, then drive
    away a bit and pick off all of the goons. Watch the cutscene with Toreno,
    then blow up the van, preferably with a shotgun or something that'll do it
    fast without wasting ammo. Get in the Stretch and leave the airport. As
    soon as you get out of the airport, you get a three-star wanted level. Hit
    pause and plan your route. Don't get caught on the lower freeway, since
    you'll have no way to get to a Pay-and-Spray. Once you spray the limo, just
    drive back to the Pleasure Domes. No one is allowed to die in this mission.
    If Jizzy, T-Bone, or Mike dies, you fail. I think I let everyone die at
    least once before everything finally came together.

    Edit: You can also just drive straight to the airport. The signal meter
    will show up and all is well. It kind of cuts off all the dialogue, but it
    saves a lot of time.

    Reward: $7000; respect earned.

    5. *Outrider* (555VIc5)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    You get a call from Jizzy when you step into the circle at your garage. He
    needs you to run some support for a business associate. Get to the car by
    the Xoomer station, then head to the van. Grab the Sniper Rifle and Rocket
    Launcher and get on the Sanchez. Floor it to the first road block, getting
    as much time between you and the van as you can. Every second helps. The
    first roadblock can be taken out with just two rockets. Fire them at the
    closest end of the cars and move on, making sure not to catch your bike on
    fire. At the second roadblock, fire a couple of rockets and snipe the rest
    down. Take an assault rifle or SMG and pick off the snipers from the
    windows. The third roadblock is just the same, but by now the van should
    be starting to catch up. At the fourth roadblock, clear it and wait for the
    van to show up. Escort it to the compound to complete the mission. You get
    stuck with a three-star wanted level afterwards, so go save.

    Reward: $9000; respect earned; you get to keep the weapons.
    6. *Snail Trail* (555VIc6)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    I gave it a two just because it's so hard to not get antsy and blow your
    cover. This mission takes so much longer than it needs to. First, pick up
    the sniper rifle and head to the Sanchez parked out by the station. When
    you get towards the train, it speeds off. You can't catch the guy in it
    yet, so don't try. Follow the train all the way to frickin' Los Santos, and
    let him get out of the train. Follow him slowly to his cab, and then follow
    him even more slowly to the docks. He's really easy to follow, just don't
    be impatient. When he finally gets to the docks, park as close as you can
    without being too close, and snipe the first guy. The second guy will run
    around like an idiot, so don't try sniping him. Run up to him and blow him

    Reward: Not a damn thing, and you get to drive all the way back to San
    Fierro! Oh boy! Screw you Tenpenny.

    7. *Ice Cold Killa* (555VIc7)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Whee, another easy one. Drive to the club, and do what everyone and their
    grandmother has e-mailed me about. Shoot the tires out on the parked
    Broadway. You'll see why later. Step into the blip and watch the short
    little bit, and follow the instructions. Climb up the scaffolding, on to
    the roof, and into the Pleasure Domes. Walk around or just jump down and
    you'll watch the cutscene with Jizzy.

    After that, run like hell, since everyone is shooting at you. Get out the
    door and watch Jizzy run to the Broadway...which has no tires. If you
    still have the rocket launcher from a while ago, use it. If not, get in
    the Stretch and start ramming the car, which doesn't go very far. Do drive-
    bys, whatever. When Jizzy gets out, kill him and take the phone.

    Reward: $12000 + Respect earned.

    8. *Pier 69* (555VIc8)
    Difficulty: 3/10
    Here's what it takes to beat this mission: The ability to hit R1 and L1,
    or maybe Circle, depending on what you prefer. I like the new L1 fire.
    Head over to the pier and meet Cesar. Run up the stairs and grab the Sniper
    Rifle. Pick off the guards with like seven total shots, saving your ammo.
    After the cutscene, pick off as many as you can see from the roof, then
    run back down the stairs. Use the tried and true R1+L1+Repeat strategy
    while moving up the pier, wiping out everything. Get a good view of T-Bone,
    pull out the Sniper Rifle, and blow a hole through his head, and then shoot
    him again when he's down for good measure. After he dies, watch Ryder flee
    into the ocean. Dive in after him and tap X in the water to sprint-swim.
    You can't catch him yet, but get to the boat and follow him. Pull up along
    side of him and match his speed, then let loose with a hail of drive-by.
    When his boat catches fire, steer away. When the boat explodes, you win.
    You can also do what I did and jump onto his boat, then cut off his head
    with a Katana and scream out a warcry.

    Edit: You can also just snipe Ryder. A lot of people did it that way.

    Make sure to stay away from the giant tanker in the docks. For some reason
    you get an instant FIVE stars for going near it. Get to shore without going
    within the bounds of that tanker.

    Reward: $15000 + Respect earned.

    9. *Toreno's Last Flight* (555VIc9)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Kay, so like totally drive to the helipad and run over all the dudes that
    are like shooting at you, right? Then kill the rest and run up to the
    helicopter, but *shocker* it gets away. Grab the rocket launcher, get on 
    the PCJ and haul ass onto the freeway to catch the chopper. Just follow it
    for now. Let it get to the countryside, and it'll stop and face you while
    hovering for a few seconds. Take one well aimed rocket and blow it out of
    the sky. You can take it down earlier, but you better have good aim. You
    only get five rockets. When the chopper goes down, you win the mission.
    Reward: $18000 + Respect earned.

    There is one more Syndicate mission, but we have to go see Wu Zi Mu first.


    1. *Mountain Cloud Boys* (555VId1)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Did I mention that Woozie is blind? Yea. He's blind. They run that fact
    into the ground during these missions, so get used to it. Get in a car and
    head around the block and watch Woozie run into walls and all sorts of
    random crap. (It's because he's blind.) When the Da Nang start attacking,
    just use the same old R1+L1+Repeat strategy to take them all down, taking
    note of the sniper on the roof of the last end. Get in the car at the end
    and have Woozie start doing drive-bys. Since he takes too damn long to blow
    the cars up, help him out with your own drive-by. Once they blow up, head
    back to Woozie's place for a reward. He's blind.

    Reward: $5000 + Respect earned + cheap laughs at a blind guy.

    2. *Ran Fa Li* (555VId2)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Wow, some of the names they mention in this line of missions are pretty
    funny. Anyway, head to the parking garage in the airport and grab
    everyone's favorite car, the Manana. It's been one of the worst cars since
    GTA3, and it still stands as such. Oh, it's an ambush. What ever shall we
    do? Go through whatever ambushes you see and get on the main road from the
    airport. Hang a right and follow the road along the eastern side of San
    Fierro. Tip: Get out of the car and kill the guys on the bikes before you
    even start going. With them out of the picture, the damage meter won't be a
    problem at all. Park the car and claim your reward.

    Reward: $6000 + Respect earned.

    3. *Lure* (555VId3)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    This is just a whole lot of driving and not a lot of fun. You get to drive
    out to the wilderness and do a checkpoint race against idiotic opponents.
    Start the checkpoint bit by doing a quick drive-by on each of the motor-
    cycles. You can't kill the driver, but you can take out the gunman, making
    the damage meter again, not a problem. Just drive safely, and if you feel
    like having fun, try forcing the motorcyclists into the water. Just follow
    the path, making sure not to flip, and park out front of the 24/7. Watch
    the cutscene and trek back to San Fierro.

    Note: This is one of the few missions that uses the Trip Skip feature. If
    you fail the checkpoint section but make it to the Badlands at least, head
    back to San Fierro and restart the mission. Hit right on the D-pad and it
    will take you to the start of the checkpoints. A nice time saver.

    Reward: $8000 + Respect earned.

    4. *Amphibious Assault* (555VId4)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    You need 20% lung capacity to do this mission. Obtain more lung capacity
    by swimming underwater (this will take maybe 30 minutes of work) or by
    collecting hidden oysters throughout San Andreas (total of 50).

    He's still blind. Head to the docks and follow the instructions to get to
    the bay. Listen to the information about the guards and stay underwater as
    much as possible. If you have to come up for air, do not move. They won't
    detect you if you are stationary. Get to the tanker and swim under it,
    then pull yourself onto the dock. Pick up the knife and try to be stealthy
    if you like. If not, blast your way through. I got about halfway and got
    bored, so I just whipped out the AK and went to town. Plant the bug and
    get off the boat. Take note that the guards will still shoot at you, so
    don't do what I did and try to steal a boat. They're still manned with
    gunners and backup. Swim to shore to complete the mission.

    Reward: $11000 + Respect earned.

    5. *The Da Nang Thang* (555VId5)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    This mission will strip you of all of your weapons except a knife, so kiss
    them goodbye while you have the chance.

    The first part of this mission is pointless. I thought it was going to be a
    fun raid on the ship, but don't even bother firing. You'll get hit by an
    RPG no matter what and your helicopter crashes into the ocean. Swim to the
    pink blip and start the main part of the mission. Perform a stealth kill on
    the nearest Da Nang and take his shotgun. Try to be stealthy for now, since
    you don't have much ammo. Kill the three guards on top of the boxes, and
    head over to the second set. There will be armed guards watching as you
    come around the corner, so whip out the shotgun or a Tec9 and start firing.
    Take the guns and get ready to use the R1+L1+Repeat strategy.

    Check around some corners for a health pickup and fight your way through.
    Drop down the stairs and watch the quick cutscene. Before you start
    fighting, climb some boxes on the right to find some body armor and a
    weapon. Helpful stuff right there. Kill all of the guards while moving
    forward until you reach the container. Blow the padlock off (you can target
    it) and start heading back to the bridge. Follow the map and start heading
    to the cabin. There is one guard near the entrance and two on the following
    stairs. Take them out until you meet the Snakehead. He tosses you a Katana,
    and you can either fight him with honor, or just blow him away. With full
    muscle, it took me two hits to kill him with the sword. Whee. Head back to
    the Vietnamese refugees to complete the mission, and drive back home.

    Edit: Yes, you can go all the way back to Ammunation and buy guns and
    armor after you crash, but come on, is that really necessary?

    Reward: $15000 + Respect earned.


    1. *Yay Ka-Boom-Boom* (555VIe1)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    So anti-climatic that it sickens me. Not even remotely difficult for a
    mission, much less the last San Fierro mission. Drive over to Downtown and
    pick up the car with the bomb in it and head over to the crack lab, which
    is right next to driving school. Do a drive-by on the two gate guards and
    watch the rest of the guards run out. Don't bother shooting them, just run
    them all over and head to the blip. Hit the ramp and drive into the crack
    lab, ignoring all the people there. They don't do anything. Park the car,
    get out, and again, ignore everyone. You have forty seconds to run out, you
    can run out in ten and take no damage and have no worries. 

    To escape the compound, take out an AK (you can buy them at Ammunation now,
    if you didn't already know) and pop everyone in the head. Go all the way
    around, killing everyone as fast as you can, but with Hitman on an AK, it's
    not even close to a problem. When the front gate closes, get in the Voodoo.
    You can't hop park the car and hop over the fence, you HAVE to hit the
    ramp. Stupid, but whatever. Get some speed, hit the ramp, and drive home.
    That's the whole thing. Piff.

    Reward: $25000 + Respect earned.

    You get two cell phone calls after this. One is from the MYSTERY MAN!!! The
    other is from Cesar. You can do these missions in either order. If you want
    to get used to piloting, get your license, and do some annoying missions
    for the MYSTERY MAN!!! If you want to do some quick car-boosting missions
    for your homeboy Cesar, and unlock the ever-riveting Import/Export crane,
    go with him. Either way, it's up to you. I'm doing MYSTERY MAN!!! first.

    Oh, all of the Desert and Las Venturas is open now. Cool beans.


    This is not a required strand of missions to complete the story.

    To start Zero's missions, buy his shop for $30,000 after completion of
    Wear Flowers in Your Hair.
    1. *Air Raid* (555VIf1)
    Difficulty: 5/10

    Five out of ten? Oh nohs! It's really not that bad if you have good aim.
    As you talk to Zero and realize how pathetic this guy is, you are suddenly
    attacked by Berkley's RC Barons and Goblins. Take the minigun (sweet),
    and start shooting! Do not let go of the trigger. The gun takes too long
    to wind up. Use the minimap to see what's coming and take the toys out
    just as they appear on your screen. Some of them will get past you, just
    make sure you minimize how many actually do. The last forty seconds are
    crazy, make sure you have at least 25% health left before this time. The
    toys come from all sides and you need to focus on an area and take them
    out, since it's impossible to get them all. If just one transmitter
    survives, you win. Sort of. You win the chance to go on to an even more
    horrible mission.

    Reward: $3000

    2. *Supply Lines...* (555VIf2)
    Difficulty: 7/10

    This is the first mission that I've seen a ton of people have problems
    with. It took me about five tries. It just takes patience. The key for
    this is to plan your route. There are five couriers:
    Target 1: A van right at the start. Shoot his van and he gets out, then
    rail him again to kill him. This should take no more than five seconds.
    Target 2: A bicycle just to the left. Turn around and get behind him. Fire
    until he gets off, then shoot him again. This shouldn't take very long

    Target 3: Another van down the street. This guy won't get out of the van
    when you shoot him, so get behind him at a steady speed and unload until
    he catches fire. You should have these first three down in about thirty
    seconds, and no more. You need all the fuel you can get now.

    Target 4: A Sanchez towards Downtown. This is your first difficult target,
    and it takes some practice. Get behind him at a steady speed and follow
    him as soon as you start shooting. You need to blow him up before he gets
    his speed up, or else you'll never see him again. It's all about timing 
    and practice, and once he's gone, you should be free for this mission.

    Target 5: A third van northeast of the Sanchez. You should have about 50%
    fuel after target four, and if you do, you've got this made. Get behind
    this van as well, follow him for a bit, and then unload until the van
    catches fire. As soon as it does, start high tailing it back to Zero's.
    When you can see his pink blip on the roof, start decelerating and land
    somewhere near the spot. It doesn't have to be exact. I had about thirty
    seconds of fuel left when I finally got this mission down.

    Alternate Strategy by Deadly Samurai:

    The way I beat this mission with fuel to spare is to take off, cut left,
    and just shoot the van until the driver gets out. Don't kill him yet! Next,
    go left again to shoot the biker to make him get off the bike. Don't kill
    him either! Both of these guys will chase after you, so go west now and
    blow up the van.  I find getting right up in front of him works best.  
    Now wait. You do not burn fuel while idle, so position the plane on the
    street accordingly and just wait. The first two guys will come after you,
    and shoot them down as they appear on the street. You should still have a 
    95% full fuel tank at this point simply by being patient. This should be
    more than enough to go north after the last two guys and get back to Zero's
    roof. I got back with about a quarter tank of fuel left.
    You still need to position yourself correctly to kill the last two guys,
    but if you follow this strategy the pressure is off, and you won't be as
    frustrated even if you fail because one of the couriers kills you because
    this strategy is nearly foolproof.

    Reward: $5000

    3. *New Model Army* (555VIf3)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    Whee. Much easier than the last one. First thing first, get a feel for the
    controls. The Goblin handles like crap and you really need to get used to
    how it maneuvers. Next, mute the game. David Cross' voice is so annoying
    in these missions, it's disgusting. Next, pick up a bomb and head to a red
    blip on the map. It's a tank. Blow it up now before it becomes a problem
    later. Repeat for the other two. Ignore the helicopter. You can blow it up
    if you like, but it's not worth the hassle if you ask me. Now, take a 
    plank to each of the two broken waterways and set it down in the middle so
    that it makes a bridge. You should have about 4:30 left at this point on 
    the 8:00 timer. Move the barrels that block Zero's path until he gets
    to his destination in Berkley's territory. Tada, you're done with this
    douchebag for the rest of the game (I hope).

    Reward: $7000, Zero's RC becomes an asset that collects $5000 daily.



    Located in Doherty and unlocked after Deconstruction. There are twelve
    challenges, you need bronze in each to complete this mission, and to get
    credit for 100%. Gold is NOT required, but fun to try for. If you're into
    masochism that is. The Hotknife is so worth it.

    1. *The 360* (555VIg1)
    Difficulty: 1/10
    Hold X and Square and press left. Easy. Get gold by getting back into
    your starting position and heading.

    2. *The 180* (555VIg2)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Speed to the cone, hit R1 and wheel around it, then park. Get gold by
    parking perfectly straight, and doing this as fast as possible.

    3. *Whip and Terminate* (555VIg3)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Hit square and powerslide the corner, then park. Get gold by parking
    perfectly straight, and doing this as fast possible.

    4. *Pop and Control* (555VIg4)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    This is a simple wave with a blown out right rear tire. Get gold by
    parking perfectly straight in the allotted time.

    5. *Burn and Lap* (555VIg5)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    Annoying. Do five laps of tight 180 turns without hitting a single cone
    the entire way through. Get gold by finishing in under 36 seconds.

    6. *Cone Coil* (555VIg6)
    Difficulty: 3/10
    This is a fun one. Speed around the cones, do a 180, then come back and
    park. Get gold by parking perfectly straight at the end.

    7. *The 90* (555VIg7)
    Difficulty: 7/10
    I got gold! The key is to not try to compensate for the spin at all. Hit
    just the handbrake and spin from the right side, landing the nose in first
    and letting the back follow its way in. It just takes some practice and a 
    bit of notetaking to know when to start braking and when to slide. Good
    luck. Get gold by parking utterly ****ing perfectly.

    8. *Wheelie Weave* (555VIg8)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    Get near the ramp to go up on two wheels and stop in the circle. Get gold
    by parking in the center of the circle, facing straight.

    9. *Spin and Go* (555VIg9)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    Start by using R2 and L2 to look behind, then whip around without hitting
    any cones. The time limit isn't too bad, so don't go at full speed. Get
    gold by parking perfectly straight.

    10. *P.I.T. Maneuver* (555VIg10)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Get to the side of the car and push its right rear tire to spin it out.
    Get gold by forming a perfect T with the target car, and touching the
    center of the car.

    11. *Alley Oop* (555VIg11)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    This one is awesome. Hit as close to the side of the ramp as you can
    without missing it. Force your control stick to the side you want to
    rotate and lay off the gas. Get gold by parking perfectly straight and
    making a perfect barrel roll.

    12. *City Slicking* (555VIg12)
    Difficulty: 6/10

    This one BLOWS. You have to speed down the streets, using the middle of
    the road the whole time. Make a right at the Burger Shot and make sure
    you slow down quickly at the turns. Go DIRECTLY through the checkpoint
    and work back. Get gold by taking no damage and finishing in under 100

    Reward for all Bronze: Super GT parked outside.
    Reward for all Silver: Bullet
    Reward for all Gold: Hotknife, not found anywhere else in the game.

    You get a driving skill upgrade for every gold medal you get. It's kind of
    catch 22, since to get some of the golds, you have to have really high
    driving skill (cough, CITY SLICKING, cough), as well as a large upgrade
    just for completing it.

VII. *The Desert Walkthrough* (555VII)


    1. *Monster* (555VIIa1)
    Difficulty: 3/10
    The Monster truck is really a fun ride and it's not really a hard
    challenge. Just use your minimap to keep an eye on where you're headed and
    watch the icons inside the checkpoints, as they will tell you where you're
    headed. If you're like me and use R1 for all your turning, DON'T here. The
    4-wheel steering does funky things on turns, and takes them a lot different
    than a handbrake turn would. Stick to the regular brake. You can go over
    any hill or whatever, except for rocks. The big rocks in the ground will
    flip you like a pancake. You do not have to get first to complete this 
    mission, simply break 6:30. 4:20 is the top time. Toreno calls after this
    and wants to talk to you back at the ranch

    Reward: $1000 for 5th, $2000 for 4th, $3000 for 3rd, $4000 for 2nd, $5000
    for 1st.  

    2. *Highjack* (555VIIa2)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Damn, this is a fun mission. Haul ass onto the freeway, leaning forward on
    the bike to maximize your speed. The faster you catch up to the truck, the
    better. There IS a sort of time limit here, so be wary of it. If you enter
    Foster Valley before Cesar can overtake the truck, you're screwed. Line up
    Cesar to the cab of the truck and stay there for 5-10 seconds. When he
    starts to pull the driver out, stay there. It takes him a while to pull the
    driver out. Once Cesar takes him down, hop off the bike and get in the
    truck. Head back to the garage, taking note of where an exit is. The tanker
    can't do any fancy flips, as much as you'd like to.

    Reward: $7000

    3. *Interdiction* (555VIIa3)
    Difficulty: 3.5/10

    These multi-part missions get really old some times. Start off by driving
    to the El Castillo del Diablo, making sure to go across the river via a 
    bridge or the Sherman Dam. Zoom into Las Brujas, take the rockets, and
    grab the Sanchez. Head up the mountain side and drive into the blip. You
    can't walk into it; I tried. Watch the cutscene and get ready to roll. Wait
    for the helicopters to stop momentarily before you fire. You can hit them
    while moving, but it's a lot harder to register a hit. Don't shoot straight
    up either, as a helicopter will land on you and screw you up badly. If you
    run out of ammo, there's a rocket launcher up there, and if you run out of
    health, there's a health icon up there as well, next to a parachute. In
    any case, take down all five choppers and start driving to the pickup. When
    you get there, look over into the sea. See the helicopter? Yea, take that.
    It's a Sea Sparrow (hit L1 for a minigun), and will get you there fast.
    Unfortunately, there's no way to save helicopters, only planes. Fly over to
    the dropoff, and then back to Toreno's cabin.

    Edit: Ok, fine fine fine. You can save helicopters after you do the next
    mission and somehow get the helicopter into the hangar safely and then
    somehow to pull it safely out without extensive damage. Blargh...
    Reward: $1000

    4. *Verdant Meadows* (555VIIa4)
    Difficulty: A bajillion/10

    Take the Sea Sparrow and fly it over to Verdant Meadows on your map. DO
    NOT FLY OVER THE RESTRICTED AREA. This is a No Fly Zone and they will
    blow you out of the sky with rockets and all sorts of crazy weaponry. Just
    go around and land the chopper. Buy Verdant Meadows, then head around back
    to the control tower and step in the red circle. Listen to the cell phone
    call, then save. Pilot school is Hell.

    Reward: -$80000, but Verdant Meadows is sweet. Oh, and Jethro finally
    called me about the street races at this point.

    B. Learning to Fly (555VIIb)

    First person helps for basically all of these missions, but I have never
    used first person in GTA, so it just annoyed me.

    You must complete all ten challenges with bronze or better to advance in
    the storyline missions in this game.

    1. *Takeoff* (555VIIb1)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Accelerate, lift the nose up, and retract the landing gear with R3. I'll be
    the first to say that that command should've been L3, but whatever. Fly
    through both coronas quickly, I believe |FIXED| 30 seconds is gold.

    2. *Land Plane* (555VIIb2)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    Lower the landing gear with R3 and tip the nose down whole decelerating
    with square. Land with the plane almost level to the ground and slow down
    quickly. Use the rudders to stop in the center of the blip for gold.
    3. *Circle Airstrip* (555VIIb3)
    Difficulty: 7/10

    Wow. This is bitch. Pardon my language, but this is really just a huge step
    up from the last two challenges. It's ridiculous. Go counter-clockwise,
    since turning left with the left analog stick is much more natural. Take
    the plane off, and make sure to retract the landing gear. You will stall if
    you don't. Put it back on if you want to slow the plane down (lower time,
    more control). Push SLIGHTLY for each turn and use the rudder to pull you
    through. Gold is 1:00.
    You should get your pilot's license at the end of this one, but you still
    have to do the rest of the challenges.

    4. *Circle Airstrip and Land* (555VIIb4)
    Difficulty: 8/10

    Bahaha...exactly the same, only now you get to land while speeding along
    with an unbalanced plane. Use the above strategies, but focus on the
    landing. It took me about 30 minutes to get silver, and I ended up with
    99%. Got 100% eventually though.

    5. *Takeoff Helicopter* (555VIIb5)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Ahh...much better. Take off by holding X and rotate 180 degrees with L2 (or
    R2, if you so choose). Push forward on the analog stick while still holding
    X to get some speed and head towards the corona. Use square to lose some
    height if you have to. Gold is gotten by being very quick about everything.

    6. *Land Helicopter* (555VIIb6)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Cake. Ignore 90% of what the game says. Head to the landing spot, hover for
    a second, then slam down square. Get gold by landing in the center.

    7. *Destroy Targets* (555VIIb7)
    Difficulty: 5/10

    Back to Hell. Aim the nose down at the trucks and start firing both the gun
    and the missiles as soon as you can. The guns help a lot more than you'd
    think. You have to get these in one run for gold. Next, head to the moving
    cars and repeat the strategy. You need some well-aimed missiles for this.
    Finally, head back to the landing area on the runway. Land in the center,
    coupled with a fast time, to receive gold.

    8. *Loop-the-Loop* (555VIIb8)
    Difficulty: 3/10
    Dip the plane down a bit and head to the first corona. Pull back on the
    left analog stick and ride it out for a few seconds. When the plane starts
    to come back down, ease up on the stick and finish. Get gold by doing this
    in 21 seconds.

    9. *Barrel Roll* (555VIIb9)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    The same as the last one, only this time push to the left on the analog
    stick. It has to be to the left. The problem with this is that the plane
    tends to go nuts after the roll, but force it into the corona to complete
    this. Get gold by doing this in 18 seconds.

    Phil_a_steen says to hold down R2 while barrel rolling to keep control as
    you make the spin.

    10. *Parachute onto Target* (555VIIb10)
    Difficulty: 4/10
    The last challenge! We're here! Just follow the instructions and land on
    the target for bronze. For gold, hold forward on the stick for as long as
    you can, and when the parachute comes out, tap back on the stick until you
    get to the runway. Keep tapping until you are just over the target, then
    land on the 35. Gold is achieved by a low time and getting on the center.

    Reward for all Bronze: Rustler found in a hangar.
    Reward for all Silver: Stuntplane found outside the hangar.
    Reward for all Gold: Hunter found on the helipad.

    You get a flying skill upgrade for every challenge completed.

    Reward for completion: Respect earned + a lot of flying skill.


    1. *N.O.E.* (555VIIc1)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Hey guys, remember Circle Airstrip and Land? Of course you do. Guess what?
    You get to do it again, except this time, you have an incredibly annoying
    visibility meter and a less strict time limit. Start by flying through the
    canyon and out into the bay. Your goal is to get as far west as you can,
    over towards the beaches of Mt. Chiliad. Stay low, have fun trying to fly
    under bridges if you want to, then get to the drop point. Make a U-Turn
    and start flying back to the airstrip, all the while staying under the
    radar. If you are caught, you can avoid the Hydras by flowing low under
    bridges et cetera until they lose you. It's hard to do, and you're better
    off just retrying. Anyway, make it back to the airstrip and land, but don't
    worry. You don't have to land in the circle, just land anywhere on the
    airstrip to complete this mission. This is the last time you have to fly,
    which really pisses me off that we had to go through all of pilot school
    just for that.

    Edit: Or you can be lame and do it the way everyone else does it, which is
    to fly to the side of the map and then go all the way around. This is one
    of the additions that I lost to a power failure and forgot to read.

    Reward: $15000

    2. *Stowaway* (555VIIc2)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    This is an AWESOME mission. So much better than the last few that we've had
    to do. It made me giddy. Start off by leaning forward on the bike to get a
    speed boost. Stay on the outside and then cut in. As soon as you touch the
    ramp, the cutscene will put you inside the plane. Now, here's where pretty
    much everyone will screw up once. You cannot use a gun in here! You can
    try, but eventually a stray bullet will blow the plane. Just use you fists,
    melee weapon, flowers, or a dildo. Beat the agents to death, then take out
    the guy with the parachute. Grab the 'chute, throw the remote explosive,
    and stand on the back of the plane. Jump off, detonate it, and watch the
    fireworks as you come down. Make sure not to land in the military base, eh?

    Reward: $20000

    3. *Black Project* (555VIIc3)
    Difficulty: 5/10

    I gave it a higher difficulty because I know some people will have some
    problems. I didn't, but it's not that easy of a mission. Start by taking
    your binoculars and turning on heat vision. Scope in with the Sniper Rifle
    and start picking off guards. Kill as many as you can.

    There are two ways to go from here. The first is to be a stealthy sniper by
    taking out key targets by sniping them, then going up in a guard tower and
    sniping everyone until you run out of bullets. You can then drop down,
    avoid spot towers, and head into the blast doors. The other way is to
    ignore the existence of the word "stealth", and run in with an AK or M4
    with Hitman and just start blasting people away. This is how I did it, and
    it was a whole lot of fun. When you're detected, just follow the
    instructions to get to the vent. Shoot it out and drop down.

    Once inside, just pick off anyone that comes near and keep your eyes peeled
    for health and armor pickups. Eventually, you should find a room with a big
    green radar. Kill everyone around it and step into the circle to cut off
    the SAM sites. You'll appreciate this later. Anyway, keep running around
    until you get to a lab. Let the scientist drop his keycard, then head
    through the doors into the secret area. Wipe out every guard on the stairs
    and get to the bottom. Claim your prize, a sexy little jetpack, and fly out
    of the base. Outside, you're safe if you disabled the SAM sites. If not,
    book ass out of there, since a flurry of missiles is coming your way. It is
    very possible to escape without disabling the SAMs. Head to the dropoff

    Reward: Nada, except some Sniper Rifle ammo and Thermal Goggles. The Truth
    will call afterwards saying to meet him at the airstrip.

    4. *Green Goo* (555VIIc4)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    You'll need Gangster or better in MicroSMG for this, just in case anyone
    was wondering. Fly towards the train and get to the back of it. You can
    start from the front and work back, but it's easier this way in my opinion.

    Reward: The motherload. $20000, Jetpack delivered to Verdant Meadows, and
    Verdant Meadows becomes an asset that collects $10000 every day. That'll
    pay back the starting fee in a hurry.


    You must complete Back to School and Yay Ka-Boom Boom to unlock these
    missions. Buy Wang Cars to start these missions at the garage.

    These missions are not required to advance the story.

    1. *Zeroing In* (555VIId1)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    This mission is hard because of all the stupid glitches. Her car likes to
    warp around if it gets stuck behind a pole for a few seconds, and all the
    poles in the city are now uber-durable and spin you like a top if you
    touch them. Get through all of that and follow the blips before they turn
    gray (cold trail), and get to her car. Spin it out by tapping the left or
    right of her car, but do NOT total it! The more damage you do, the harder
    the return to the garage will be. Head back to the garage and park the car
    for your reward.

    Alternate strategy by Cradea2:

    As soon as the mission starts, do a quick U-turn to the left, and cut 
    through the construction site behind the garage. Drive straight out on to
    the road, and the target car should get there about one second later. Crash
    into her rear fender to spin her out, grab her car, and take the short 
    drive back to the garage.

    Reward: $5000; Respect earned; WheelArch Angels opens for car modding.

    2. *Test Drive* (555VIId2)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    I have no idea what the point of this mission is. It could've been really
    simple if you just went straight for the garage, but instead, Cesar wants
    to screw around. Just follow him for a while. When the police come, get
    ahead of them. Try to keep them off Cesar, since even though his car is
    nigh indestructible, it can flip and blow. When he hits his Nitrous, do
    the same, but slow down when he makes the turn at the end. You will have
    some left, just let it burn out at a slow pace. When Cesar heads into the
    alley, back up quickly, then follow him to the garage.

    Reward: $5000; Respect earned.

    3. *Customs Fast Track* (555VIId3)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    This is your intro to the Import/Export crane. Just get used to the crane
    for a bit, and use the shadow to judge where you need to drop the crate.
    Don't drop it from too high of a spot, or it will break open and you fail.
    Anyway, once you break open the third crate (it's always the third), you
    find the car. But gasp, there's a twist. Here come people to stop your
    thievery. Not a problem. Target them and kill them, then grab the car and
    head back to the garage. Drive carefully, as your reward is...

    Reward: $10000 - damage done to car; Respect earned; Import/Export crane
    opens up for car delivery.

    4. *Puncture Wounds* (555VIId4)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    This is kind of a fun one. Drive your Clover over along the highway until
    you catch up to the crazy woman's car somewhere near the Badlands. Wait
    until you can cut right in front of her, then drop the spike strip. You
    have three chances and infinite time, so don't worry. Just time it right
    and let it rip. Once her tires are popped and Carl fixes them, drive it
    back to the garage. Stop at the Pay-and-Spray before you drop it off if
    you want to, then claim your final rewards.

    Edit: If you take so long that the car gets to Angel Pine, it's possible to
    fail it. However, I have faith that most of you that you'll get it by then.

    Reward: $5000; Respect earned; Wang Cars becomes an asset that collects
    $8000 a day. 

VIII. *Las Venturas Walkthrough* (555VIII)


    1. *Fender Ketchup* (555VIIIa1)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    I think we can all concur that this is one of the best names for a mission
    ever. It's a really simple mission though. Just drive over to the airport,
    spin some donuts on the runway, get speed, hit some insane stunt jumps,
    then laugh as the guy wets himself. As long as you don't smash the hood
    and kill the guy, you win. Drive back to The Four Dragons to complete the 
    mission. Also, you can't use first person view in this mission, which
    really makes me sad.

    Reward: $5000 + Respect earned.

    2. *Explosive Situation* (555VIIIa2)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    I don't like this mission. There's no freedom allowed in it at all. Anyway,
    it's very straightforward. Drive to the quarry, grab the Dumper, smash the
    four dynamite blocks, run to each dynamite stick, grab it, then get on the
    Sanchez. This is the part that I don't like. You MUST follow the check-
    points, even if you know another way out. Just follow the blips of red
    light, making sure to keep your speed up since there are a lot of random
    jumps throughout the course. Once you escape, head down the freeway and
    drop the dynamite off to Woozie's man.

    Reward: $7000 + Respect earned. The Quarry Side Missions open up, as do the
    first Heist missions. 

    3. *You've Had Your Chips* (555VIIIa3)
    Difficulty: 4/10 

    Also another awesome name for a mission. This is your test of how well you
    can shoot stuff. Yay. Head to the factory in a car and jump on the car to
    hop over the fence. Blow up the car waiting in front, then head into the
    warehouse. Kill a few people, then back out. As they run to you, pick them
    off one by one until most of them are dead. Run and take out the rest. You
    can destroy the machines however you like. I set up Satchel Explosives and
    detonated them all at one time. After you blow them up, a few Mafia men in
    an Admiral show up. Blow them to bits, then drive back to the casino.

    Reward: $10000 + Respect earned. The Casino start point now moves, and your
    next bosses for this strand are all sorts of people, much like the
    Syndicate section above. 

    When you step into the marker at the Four Dragons, The Truth calls for one
    quick mission.
    1. *Don Peyote* (555VIIIb1)
    Difficulty: 1.5/10

    Start by driving over to the Arco del Oeste and into the red marker. Watch
    the cutscene and head down to the road and pick a four-door car. Drive it 
    back up and pick the two Brits up and take them to the Snake Farm down the
    road. When they start yapping, blow their brains all over the sand. Take 
    them back to Caligula's Palace to meet Ken Rosenburg. Watch the final 
    cutscene and step out.

    Update by Jhi Ameti: This name refers the "Peyote" cactus which grows
    naturally in American deserts. I think it's pretty common in Texas. This
    cactus contains the hallucinogen "Mescaline", and since these guys are in
    the desert trippin', it's obvious what it means.

    Update by Richard Murphy:  Also, it refers to a great work of European
    Spanish fiction from the seventeenth century by Cervantes called "Don
    Quixote" (pronounced Ki-hoe-tay - to rhyme with Peyote). This book title
    also gives us the English word "Quixotic", meaning a far fetched or
    unrealistic pursuit, and the character was painted a number of times by, 
    amongst others, Pablo Picasso. Wow, this game is deep =P

    Reward: Respect earned; Rosenburg opens as a boss at Caligula's.

    1. *Intensive Care* (555VIIIc1)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Drive over to the hospital and find out that Johnny's been moved. Woops.
    Track down an ambulance and ram it. The first one is guaranteed to not be
    the right one. Take your pick of the other two, one of them might be the
    right one. If it's not, it's still not a problem. If there is a time limit
    for this, it's huge. Smash the mafia ambulance by PITing it, ramming it,
    and doing small drive-bys. The less damage you do, the better, since you
    have to drive this thing back. Once the Sindaccos get out of the ambulance,
    blow them away and take it. Try to ignore the following Mafia members and
    and drive over to the meat factory to drop Johnny off.

    Reward: $5000 + Respect earned. Tenpenny opens up as a boss again, but
    let's finish off with Ken first.
    2. *Meat Business* (555VIIIc2)
    Difficulty: 3.5/10

    Drive over to the meat factory with your cracked out buddy Ken and watch
    the cutscene. Johnny has a heart attack and dies. Oh snap. Start off by
    blowing away the guards in the first room and as many in the next as you
    can. Use a gun you want to level up at first, since these guys are worth
    killer weapon skill points. Anyway, kill every guard you see. When Ken runs 
    to the freezer, stand guard for a second. Don't let the mafiosos lock him
    in, since it'll put a time limit on the mission for you. Don't get locked
    in yourself either, since you'll die and fail. Use the everlasting R1+L1+
    Repeat strategy and kill every guard. They all must die to complete the
    mission. Once they're dead, lead Rosenburg out, and then drive him back to
    the casino.

    Reward: $8000 + Respect earned.

    3. *Freefall* (555VIIIc3)
    Difficulty: 3/10
    Go watch the cutscene entitled "Fish in a Barrel" back at the Four Dragons
    to get a call from Ken.

    This is actually a Salvatore mission, but we're saving Ken's ass, so I'm
    putting it here for space purposes. Head over the airport and steal the
    Dodo in the hangar. Fly the long flight over to the arriving plane. Once
    you see it, notice the corona behind it. Fly into the corona to trigger the
    most unrealistic cutscene in the game. Wow, that was out of place and
    uncalled for. Anyway...kill the four guards via manual aim, then take down
    the pilot. The guards can't aim for their lives, so just pick them off.
    Take cover only to reload. Fly the plane back and land it to complete the 
    mission and claim your reward.

    Reward: $15000 + Respect earned. Madd Dogg's mission opens for

    1. *Misappropriation* (555VIIId1)
    Difficulty: 3/10, or 1/10, depending on how you do it.

    Method 1: Drive over to Aldea Molvada and start picking off federal agents.
    When they get too close, whip out your assault rifle and go to work. Kill
    as many as you can, then take the helicopter and pursue the target. When 
    he lands, or bails out, kill him however you choose. I landed on him with
    my helicopter. Grab the dossier to complete the mission.

    Method 2: Go to the other side of Aldea Molvada and blow the target's head
    off with a Sniper Rifle. Grab the dossier and get out before the feds kill
    you. Either way, you complete the mission

    Reward: Tenpenny lets you live.
    2. *High Noon* (555VIIId2)
    Difficulty: 3.5/10

    You must do Misappropriation and Freefall to start this mission.

    Watch the super fun cutscenes, then start following Pulaski. Take out as
    many of the car's tires as you can. Get at least one or this mission sucks.
    It's almost impossible to catch up to the car. Get in the Bandito and chase
    Pulaski's car done. Get up next to it and drive-by it until it starts to
    explode. Take cover from Pulaski's desert eagle. It really hurts if he can
    get you enough times. Take him out however you choose. I managed to use a
    flamethrower on him and torched him to death.

    Alternate Strategies:
    You can also try these other ideas if that simples strategy doesn't work
    for you. You can attach a satchel to the car if you run fast enough, then
    detonate it; you can speed ahead of him on the road and hit him with an
    RPG; you can push him off the side of the cliff and make him lose control;
    you can push him into the water and have him drown. All of those work, so
    just do it however you want.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    1. *Madd Dogg* (555VIIIe1)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    I don't know why you guys said this was hard. Watch the cutscene, then
    run over to the pickup. Kill the driver and then drive into the marker.
    Start moving the truck backwards and forwards so that the bed is always
    lined up with Madd Dogg. When he finally jumps, he should land on the bed.
    Drive the wounded Madd Dogg to the drive-through mental hospital to
    complete this short mission.

    Edit: There is a horrible glitch with this mission where Madd Dogg jumps
    before you ever get to the truck. I do NOT know how to fix this. If anyone
    has an active solution, please send it to me.
    Reward: Respect earned.


    You must complete Green Goo, Freefall, High Noon, and Madd Dogg to get the
    call to start this mission.

    1. *Saint Mark's Bistro* (555VIIIf1)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    I am so disappointed in this mission. It had so much potential. It was the
    return to Liberty City for God's sake! It was really depressing. Drive to
    the airport, fly the long flight to Liberty City, enter St. Mark's, and
    start shooting. Take out the first few with a shotgun, since the close
    range power owns them. Throw some grenades or molotovs off the balcony to
    take out the ones below you. Head down the stairs, killing each Forelli you
    see. Some of them take quite a few shots to kill for some reason. Once
    they're all dead, which shouldn't take long, fly back to Las Venturas and
    land. That's all there is to it.

    Reward: $20000 + Respect earned. You can also now start the Return to Los
    Santos, since the Heist, as it appears, is optional.



    Shut up about the tagline :(

    1. *Architectural Espionage* (555VIIIg1)
    Difficulty: 1.5/10

    All of the missions in this strand have a lot of parts to them. This one is
    fairly simple though. Start by flattening/killing the tourists and taking
    the camera. Head to the city planning department and holster your weapon
    before you go in. Answer yes, no, yes to the questions the receptionist
    asks. Head to the top floor, then back down. Plant some satchel explosives
    on the air conditioning units. You can use whatever you want to destroy
    them, but satchels are the coolest way. Head back up the stairs and take a
    picture of the blueprints. On the way out, try not to kill any cops. The
    less cops you kill, the more damage you take, but the easier the drive home
    is. I had like four stars when I left the building, you can leave with two.
    Head back to the casino to finish the mission. Oh, and take note that when
    the game says "front of the casino", it means the side. 

    Edit: Woops. Kill all the cops anyway. You get four stars as soon as you
    leave, and that was my mistake for not doublechecking my own info.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    2. *Key to Her Heart* (555VIIIg2)
    Difficulty: 2.5/10

    Head to the Caligula's and start following the croupier. She drives really
    weird...she'll pass any car in front of her, but she slams on the brakes at
    every red light. Just keep your distance until she gets to the sex shop.
    Follow her in and head to the changing rooms. After the kinky cutscene, go
    into the changing room to get the gimp suit. On the way out, your car will
    probably be gone, so steal a new one and follow Millie to her house near
    Prickle Pines. When the gimp shows up, kill him and take the dildo from
    him. Head inside and get laid.

    Getting the card from Millie is easy. Show up with a gimp suit on between
    14:00 and 18:00, or 2:00 and 10:00 and head into the marker. Instant sex.
    There's no reason to ever have to take her out for dinner or do any of that
    boring crap. You can also just kill Millie and come back later and break
    into her house.

    Many, many people have asked why Millie is never home. Sadly, I have no
    answer to this question. She was there all three times I came to her house
    with gimp suit and dildo ready. I have no fix to this problem. Anyway, get
    her progress bar up to 33% (two scores with the gimp suit will get this),
    and you'll get a call from her. Head into the house and steal the key card.
    Woozie will call with a quick, "You da man!"

    The best way to guarantee that Millie is home is to date her IMMEDIATELY
    after this mission. Drive to the safe house in Prickle Pine, put on the
    gimp suit, grab the dildo, and head over. Sex her up, save until she comes
    back, and repeat until you can get the key card. I did this and had NO
    problems at all.
    Reward: Respect earned.

    3. *Dam and Blast* (555VIIIg3)
    Difficulty: 2.5/10

    Head to the airport and take the Nevada. You'll need to gain altitude from
    as soon as you takeoff to hit the corona on one run. Once you get to the
    corona, bail out and freefall. Land as close to the marker as you can, or
    just fall into the water and swim to the dock stairs. From here, you can do
    whatever you want. Snipe the guards, blow them away, or take the knife and
    stab them. Once they're dead, run into the building. Climb the stairs and
    again, do whatever you want. I sniped the guards; you can stab them. Plant
    all the explosives, then run out. Watch CJ dive into the reservoir to
    complete the mission. Swim to the Reefer, then over to the docks for a free
    Seasparrow or Skimmer.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    4. *Cop Wheels* (555VIIIg4)
    Difficulty: 3/10
    Not a whole lot of strategy here, so I'll give you the order that I did the
    bikes in. Linden Station -> Las Venturas Airport -> Roca Escalante ->
    Julius Thruway East. Once you steal a bike, get on the freeway and head to
    the Packer. Drive up slowly, jump off, steal a car, and repeat. If the cop
    runs, don't shoot him! Just chase him down and knock him off. This mission
    is easy if you can keep it down to a one-star wanted level. Once all four
    bikes are delivered, you win. This is stupid, since in the final mission,
    you only use two bikes. But whatever.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    5. *Up, Up, and Away!* (555VIIIg5)
    Difficulty: 4.5/10

    This is a difficult mission. The army actually knows how to shoot a gun,
    and they all have M4s. Drive to the army base and enter as the Patriot
    leaves. Kill the first few guards, then head into the warehouse. The ware-
    house is dangerous, and you'll have to pick the guards off one by one.
    Stand near a wall and use the right analog stick to look around the corner.
    Pop out, target the guard with an AK/M4 and go back to the wall. If you 
    can, whip out the sniper rifle and kill a guard or two from a distance.
    Once you clear out the room, head over to the right side and grab the armor
    and health pickups. Note that you can't just go around, since later, all 
    the guards that you didn't kill will come back and finish you before you
    can leave. Anyway, leave the warehouse and kill all the remaining guards
    on the way to the helipad, and the two on the helipad. When the Hunters
    arrive, man the minigun and take them down. It's good to note that if they
    crash right on you, you still don't take damage. Once the Hunters are down,
    steal the Leviathan.

    Edit: Since so many people have submitted this, it's being added. You can
    fly over and parachute onto the helipad or take a jetpack and land. Just
    take out all of the guards and shoot down the Hunters. 

    The rest of the mission is a simple flight. Head to the van and use the
    right analog stick to pick it up. Gain some altitude, then fly over to
    Verdant Meadows. Make sure not to ram the van into any buildings, since
    that will kind of make the van the explode and fail you. At Verdant
    Meadows, set the van down on one marker, then land on the other to complete
    this mission.

    Reward: Respect earned; the Leviathan spawns at Verdant Meadows, but
    doesn't have the magnet. What a gyp.

    6. *Breaking the Bank at Caligula's*  (555VIIIg6)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    This is a long mission. Really long. You must have the key card from
    Millie, as well as Saint Mark's Bistro completed before you can do this
    awesome mission. Holster your weapon before entering the casino, then start
    running. You only have four minutes for this part; you can get it done in
    under three. Head to the swipe door, then to the generator room. Throw 
    the gas grenade into the vent, then move on to the next keycard door. When
    the lights go out, switch to the Nightvision Goggles and activate them.
    Next, head to the service bay door. Head over to the right and grab the
    Forklift. Park it under the door and lift it up. Once the van rolls in, the
    next part of the mission begins.

    Run in front of Woozie's crew and start taking out everyone you see. The
    MP5 or Micro-SMG are both great for this part; don't waste AK ammo. When
    you finally get downstairs, watch Woozie's gang get to work. When Zero
    whines at you, grab the satchels and head to the backup generators. Plant
    the charges, then blow them once you get away. Head downstairs to see
    Woozie and the gang open the safe.

    Grab the body armor in the safe and get ready to shoot. Kill all the guards
    in the room, then head by the stairs. Use satchels or just rifle fire to
    kill all the mafia that come down the stairs. Once they're all dead, start
    moving back through the casino. Kill all the mafia that get in your way,
    using the Triads as bait if you have to. They can take a whole lot of hits,
    whereas you probably can't at this point. The final doorway has a bunch of
    guys rolling in front of you; take them out and keep going. When you get to
    Zero, try to resist blowing him away.

    Kill all the guards that try to stop you from getting to the service 
    elevator and follow the map to it. Step into the red marker. Ride up to the
    top and hang a right, killing everyone as you go up the stairs. It's a
    jaunt to the roof. On the rooftops, run and jump your way to the parachute.
    Even if you already have one, you need to pick this one up to advance the
    Now, you're supposed to land on the roof across. If you do that, you have
    to kill SWAT members, blow up some helicopters, then steal the chopper and
    fly to Verdant Meadows, which racks up wanted levels and is really just
    unnecesary. Land away from the roof and steal a car. Drive either to the
    airport to steal a plane, or just drive to Verdant Meadows. The following
    choppers won't even bother you if you keep moving. Park in the red blip,
    and watch as you finally get to punch Zero in the mouth. The whole mission
    is worth it just for that.

    Reward: $100000 + Lots of respect earned.

IX. *Return to Los Santos Walkthrough* (555IX)


    1. *A Home in the Hills* (555IXa1)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    The problem with all missions that involve killing is that they aren't that
    hard, no matter what they do with them. Targeting and shooting isn't that
    difficult in GTA. Anyway, parachute towards the mansion and land on or near
    the helipad. Take some cover and get your assault rifle out. Gangsters will
    attack from all sides in waves of three to five, so just pick them off as
    they come. When the Triads come, protect them on the landing, grab the
    armor on the side of the helipad, then head down into the mansion. When a 
    Triad with you is killed, go on a killing spree and take out every gangster
    room by room. When you get to the stairs, lob some explosives down below
    and take as many out as you can. Grab the health pickup in the kitchen if
    you need it, and start following Big Poppa. Take out any guard you can with
    an SMG, since you can fire that while running. Follow the path you took way
    back in Madd Dogg's Rhymes to get outside. Take the car and start following 
    Big Poppa. Take note that "running off the road" means "blowing to hell via
    a drive-by". Just catch up with Big Poppa and blow his car up.

    Reward: Respect earned and Madd Dogg's mansion, which comes with a personal
    gym, a basketball court, a body armor pickup, and some video games. Also,
    Didier Sachs opens up in Rodeo, so you can deck yourself out with some 
    nice threads and enjoy CJ's new lines, such as "I'm rich, but I'm a
    ****in' maniac!" Good stuff.


    1. *Vertical Bird* (555IXb1)
    Difficulty: 5/10

    This, I believe, is the last we mission we do for Toreno. It's a hell of a
    mission, and a damn fine way to end his work. Drive the speed boat to the
    aircraft carrier and pull up along side. Swim into the docking bay. Now, as
    usual, stealth is completely pointless. Whip out your assault rifle and go
    to town. There are very few guards here, and you should be able to take
    them easily. Head up the stairs and to the SAM controls; step in the red
    marker to disable them. Head down the hall to the Hydra jets, killing the
    guards that get in your way. Blow up the two Hydras closest to you with
    Satchels or any other explosive, then head to the third Hydra.

    The Hydra controls as both a helicopter and a plane. Use the right analog
    stick to switch between modes. Use R1 to establish a target lock, and L1 to
    fire missiles. Use Circle to drop a jet chaff. After you takeoff, another
    Hydra will pursue you. Had you not destroyed the other Hydras, there would
    be three following you. Dogfight it and hit it with a couple missiles to
    take it down. The rest of the mission is all about control. Slow the plane
    down and lower altitude to sink the spy flotilla. The boats do not shoot
    back, so don't force yourself to hurry. After they are destroyed, fly to
    Verdant Meadows and land it. Taxi it into the hangar to complete the

    Reward: $50000; Hydra now spawns at Verdant Meadows. A complete Verdant
    Meadows will spawn a Jetpack, a PCJ600, a Leviathan, a Hunter, a Rustler,
    a Stuntplane, and a Hydra. Now that's a hideout. Also, a Flamethrower, a
    Minigun, a Rocket Launcher, and a Heat-Seeking RPG Launcher all spawn at
    Mike Toreno's ranch in the Desert.

    2. *Home Coming* (555IXb2)
    Difficulty: 2.5/10

    Toreno finally gives you some good news. You can go pick up Sweet outside
    the police station. Once you get there, the narrow-minded Sweet explains
    that he wants to go home, not to the mansion. Once you get to Grove Street,
    start taking down crack dealers. At one point, you will inevitably start a
    war with the Ballas. Fight for your turf as you would any gang war, then
    finish off the crack dealers. Oh, and make sure that Sweet doesn't die.

    Reward: Respect earned. Sweet opens up as a boss, and you can now do turf
    wars. Don't go too overboard though, since you'll be losing and gaining
    some territory during the next missions.

    3. *Cut Throat Business* (555IXb3)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    This is one of the most unfulfilling missions ever. Drive over to Flint
    County to the video shoot. When OG Loc flees on the Vortex, follow him. You
    don't have to be incredibly close, but just enough to see him. Follow him
    over the jump and along the beach. When he gets to the pier, you switch to
    a Go-Kart. Follow him in the stupidest chase ever. Again, you don't need
    to be right on him; just enough to see him. When the chase ends, you get
    the lovely cutscene that involves you not killing Jeffrey. What a crock.
    Note that you can't kill him before he reaches the final destination, since
    there would be no cutscene. Don't even try.

    Reward: Respect earned; Kart now spawns outside the mansion.


    1. *Beat Down on B-Dup* (555IXc1)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Head over to B-Dup's house and watch the cutscene to find out that you need
    to head over to Glen Park. Hunt down a pack of Ballas and take them out.
    Once the turf war is started, keep Sweet close to you. Kill all three waves
    with your handy assault rifle, making sure not to accidentally kill Sweet.
    Once you take over all of Glen Park, you get a short cutscene. Snipe or gun
    down all of the guards around B-Dup's house. Once they're all dead, head
    into the marker for a confrontation with B-Dup and Bear. Once the scene is
    over, the mission is complete.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    2. *Grove 4 Life* (555IXc2)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    This is just another turf war. Take some OG members with you for some meat
    shields and head into Idlewood. Use the general turf war strategies to take
    over the first territory, then march into the next and take that one over.
    That's all there is to this mission. Afterwards, take Sweet home to get
    some monetary compensation for all your work.

    Reward: $10000 + Respect earned.

    Take over 35% of Los Santos before you start the next strand of missions.
    You need that much to start the final mission, and once the riots start,
    it's absolute hell to take territory over. Get it done now so you don't
    have to spend hours doing it later. I also HIGHLY suggest that you do the
    Firefighter missions before this, since the final mission nearly depends on
    it being done.


    1. *Riot* (555IXd1)
    Difficulty: 1/10

    Oh snap. Tenpenny got off and now all of LS is going insane. Sweet needs to
    get back to the Grove to secure the hood. Hop into Sweet's car and start
    driving. Just enjoy the dialogue and stay away from the fires. Someone told
    me that it's impossible to get a wanted level on this mission, and he's
    full of it. There is nothing special about this mission; just drive to
    Sweet's house in one piece.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    2. *Los Desperados* (555IXd2)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    Get a four-door car before you start this mission, or at least make sure
    that there's one parked outside the house. Recruit two OGs and hop into the
    car. Drive over to Unity Station and pick up the Varrios. The rest of this
    mission is all killing. Take an assault rifle, or better yet, some molotovs
    if you've done the firetruck missions. Torch and kill all of the Vagos. If
    you're taking too much damage, let the Varrios take the hits. They can take
    a whole lot of damage throughout this mission. After the projects are wiped
    clean, head over to the alleyway.

    For the next section, just listen to what's being yelled. Kill some Vagos
    and watch Hazer get shot. As more Vagos come, watch for exploding cars. If
    one of the cars explodes, it has a good chance of killing one of the other
    Varrios, which is instant failure. Once all of the Vagos are down, the
    final part of the mission begins. There are only about ten Vagos, but one
    of them is on a roof with a rocket launcher. Snipe his head off, then pick
    of all the other Vagos methodically. When all of the Vagos are dead, the
    mission is over, and Cesar has a home.

    Update: Having trouble find gang members? Just drive around territories you
    own and find a group of GSFs that are not rioting. Target one of them and
    hit up or down on the d-pad. You should know how to do this already.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    Sweet should call a few times after this if you've already taken over 35%
    of Los Santos. If not, get to work. The final mission opens up after you
    take control of the city.

    PROGRESS CHECK: If you're going for 100%, you should have 99.47% at this
    point. If not, check and find whatever you missed.

    3. *End of the Line* (555IXd3)
    Difficulty: 5.5/10

    Here we are people. The final mission of the game. It's been a hell of a
    run, spanning just over 100 missions. It all comes down to this. Sweet and
    CJ are ready to ride on Big Smoke, so drive over to his crack factory
    through the riots. When you get there, you find out that you thankfully
    don't have to protect Sweet through all of this. Get a vantage point of the
    SWAT unit and start picking people off. When you can't get any more clean 
    shots, run in guns blazing until everything is down. Take the SWAT tank
    and ram it through the crack house. Run over to the door to start the main
    part of this mission. NOTE: This is the only time you can ever get the SWAT
    tank in this game. If you want to play with it, save it now.

    There are four floors to get to Big Smoke. The first is the Security Area.
    There are body armor and health pickups through these floors, but you
    should conserve them. Go as far as you can without picking up armor, then
    run back and grab it. As you enter a room, scan it for vantage points and
    key threats. Some rooms have a shotgun toting thug. These are not your
    friends, and you should wipe them out first. If there's a group of them,
    take them out with some molotovs. Otherwise, get behind cover and pick each
    enemy off one by one.

    The second floor is the drug lab. You can take out the explosive barrels
    here to save yourself some trouble. The drug lab has a lot of people on
    higher ground, so concentrate on what's on the floor before you start
    aiming up top. Follow the upper catwalk around to get to the third floor,
    the Ballas Lounge. There are a whole lot of Ballas here and most of them
    are behind closed doors. As soon as you open a door, target and blast
    something. A lot of them have some heavy weaponry. After you get to the
    statue of Big Smoke, you're almost there. Pick up the armor and health in
    the adjacent rooms before you confront Smoke.

    You can plainly see that Smoke is wearing Body Armor, so realize that it
    takes a lot of shots to take him out. The lights will go out, but follow
    his red marker with your crosshairs. Put a few clips of M4/AK ammo, with
    maybe a side of molotovs to take Smoke down. Once he's down, your best
    friend walks up behind you. After Tenpenny rushes out of the building, a
    timer appears. You have seven minutes to fight your way out of a burning
    crackhouse, probably with very little life left after all of this. For this
    part, you will need to be fireproof. I don't care if some people pulled
    this off by actually using the fire extinguisher; it's just not worth it to
    try. If you're fireproof, just do a room-by-room shootout with the
    nightvision goggles constantly on. As you run through the rooms and stairs,
    constantly scan for enemies around you. You can run out pretty quickly, but
    there's always a roadblock somewhere. Once you finally get down to the
    first level, you get to watch Sweet latch on to the ladder of Tenpenny's
    escaping firetruck.

    Edit: Yes, it IS possible to put the fires out and side step your way
    through the fights. However, it is far more safe, and far easier to spend
    the thirty minutes and do the firefighter missions.

    The first part of the chase is just that--a chase. You can't catch the
    firetruck, but stay on it. When the cop starts smashing Sweet's fingers,
    then you can pull up behind the firetruck and let Sweet drop. When he takes
    the wheel, it's Just Business all over again. Shoot cops off of the
    indestructible firetruck, then focus on the squad cars behind you. Go for
    the drivers, then the cars. When motorcycles appear, take them out quickly.
    If a car pulls along side you, do the same. After about a minute and a half
    of this chase, Tenpenny loses control of the firetruck and crashes over a
    bridge, right into Grove Street. A death caused by a traffic accident in
    the riots...what a shame. Sit back, crack a beer, and watch the credits.
    You've just completed the storyline of one of the greatest games ever
    created. God bless you Rockstar.

    Reward: Respect earned.

    You also receive an additional $250,000 for completion of all missions.

X. Side Missions (555X)

    A. Los Santos Missions (555Xa)

    These are missions you can do before ever leaving Los Santos, and they stay
    open forever.

    1. Firefighter (555Xa1)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Activated by a Firetruck. Locate the fire on a map, put the fire out,
    then put the people who are on fire out. A person is added for every
    level. It starts with one car, then becomes a car with one person, then
    two people, then three people. Then another car is added. Level 12 is three
    cars with three people each. To put a person out, force them against a wall
    and hammer them with a steady stream of water. The police are your worst
    enemy, since the idiots just love to jump in front of you car to rack on
    wanted levels. Getting rid of a wanted level is very hard to do while doing
    these missions since you rarely have time to speed through an area working
    the level off. Just drive slowly and safely. By level 12, you should have
    almost 10 minutes on the clock.

    Reward for level 12: Fireproof on foot.

    2. Home Invasion (Must complete Home Invasion mission) (555Xa2)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    There is a Black Boxville across the street from the Ganton gym in Los
    Santos. This is the only vehicle for this mission, and it must be done
    at night. First, you need to drive around and see what houses you want to
    rob (they have a yellow entrance arrow). After this, enter them and
    creep slowly (crouching helps). Take the expensive items like TVs, VCRs,
    PS2s, etc (yes, this is an anachronism). Load up the Boxville and case
    another house. You have until 6:00 to get to the lockup in the southeast
    corner of Los Santos, in La Playa de Seville.

    Better Strategy: Since so many people submitted this, I'm changing it. You
    can rob the same house over and over again. Head to the lockup in Playa
    and check out the apartment complex. There should be a driveway and a
    house on each side. Park in the middle, rob the four things from one
    house, then rob the four from the other. Now, go back to the first house.
    Everything should be back. You have nine minutes and forty-five seconds to
    steal as many items as possible, and then head to the lockup. Someone
    claims to have gotten 56 in one night and made well over $40k. This is the
    best way to make money without abusing the track betting (see the FAQ).
    There are locations in SF and LV as well, but you can find those on your
    own. This isn't a locations guide.

    For the San Fierro Boxville: From the safehouse by the sign that says 
    Brown Streak go west and take the first right and you should see the
    building. It has a tilted sign that says:  "Hairy Plums Wholesale Fruit".
    Thanks to afroholic.

    Reward for stealing $10,000: The money you stole + $3000.

    3. Paramedic (555Xa3)
    Activated by an Ambulance. Do these in a Angel Pine to make it insanely
    easy. Locate the injured person on a map, park next to them, drive them to
    the hospital. One person is added for every level.

    Reward for level 12: Health bar increased.

    4. Pimpin' (555Xa4)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    The pimping convertible is in the parking lot of the car wash near the
    Pay N' Spray in Idlewood. This isn't too hard as long as you stop by a Pay
    N' Spray every once in a while. After a few levels, you have to protect
    the girls through various ways of force. You can use any Broadway for this
    mission, but that's the only parked location thusfar, besides the one
    behind the sign in Vinewood.

    Important note: Use your damned map guys. If you're getting a "mission
    failed" for beating up the john, you're beating up the wrong one. Look on
    the map. See the pretty icon? You need to go back to the previous whore and
    protect her, not the one you just dropped off.

    Reward for completing 10 of 10 pimps: Lots of cash and hookers now GIVE
    you money instead of taking it away.

    5. Taxi Driver (555Xa5)
    Difficulty: 1/10

    Activated by any Taxi. Pick someone up on the road, drive them to their
    destination. Rinse, lather, repeat. This is a good way to learn a new
    area and to make some quick cash.

    Reward for 50 dropoffs (NOT IN A ROW): NOS Taxis.

    6. Vigilante (555Xa6)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Activated by any police car. Locate the enemy on the map and kill them
    in whatever way possible. A fugitive is added for every level. You
    should recruit gang members and have them drive-by for you.

    Horrible horrible glitch by VGK:
    Get in a Police CAR (it must be a car) and drive to a building you can
    enter, like Cluckin' Bell. Start Vigilante, the enter the building. Wait
    about ten seconds, and the target is eliminated. Get back in the car and
    repeat. If the targets aren't destroyed, get back in the car and do it
    again. This works forever, and can complete Vigilante to level 12 for your
    body armor plus and percent completion.

    Edit: It can be a motorcycle as well.

    Reward for completing level 12: Armor up to 150.

    7. Lowrider Challenge (555Xa7)
    Difficulty: 2/10
    The same as the Sweet mission, Cesar Vialpando. Take a lowrider with
    hydraulics to the mechanic standing outside Unity Station. The game
    is the same and the wagers are the same, but they get progressively 
    harder. I've done it three times, and I can't even come close on the
    fourth set of beats. You only have to beat this once, during the mission,
    but I still consider it required.

    Reward: Your bet winnings.

    8. Los Santos Courier (555Xa8)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    There's a parked BMX in front of the 24-7 in Conference, north of Verdant
    Bluffs. This is a good way to make some cash as well as raise your Cycle
    Skill in a hurry. I maxed it out on one trip from about 60%. It's really
    quite easy, since the time limit is very generous on all the parts. Just
    pause and check the map before you actually head off for each set of
    deliveries and plan your path, noticing what paths have to be taken for
    each location. Throw the package via drive-by. If you miss, pick up the
    package and try again. It's always better to pick up a fallen package
    than it is to run out and fail. Take your time, drive safe, and rake in
    an easy $10k. 

    There are four levels:

    Six packages total, four dropoff points, 5 minutes, very close.
    Six packages total, four dropoff points, 5 minutes, spread apart.
    Seven packages total, five dropoff points, 5 minutes, very close.
    Eight packages total, six dropoff points, 10 minutes, VERY spread apart.

    Reward: Cash and the 24/7 is now your asset and collects $2000 every 24 
    in-game hours (24 minutes real time).

    9. BMX Challenge (555Xa9)
    Difficulty: 4/10

    In Glen Park, Los Santos, there is a huge skate park. You really can't
    miss it if you're driving by. There are two huge half pipes that stick
    up past the fence. The BMX is near one of these halfpipes. Getting on it
    starts this challenge.

    You start with ten seconds, each checkpoint adds ten seconds, and there
    are 19 checkpoints. Start with the easier ones on the ground that you can
    bunny hop or ride to get. Finish with the annoying ones that you have to
    use a half pipe or clear a gap to get. You can get your time up to 2:00
    with a properly planned route.

    Your BMX skill has to be 20% to start, but 100% makes this CAKE. You can
    just bunny hop to like 16 of the checkpoints.

    Reward: % Completion +. There is no real reward :/

    Difficulty: 5.5/10

    You need 20%+ driving skill to do this race.

    Who remembers Hotring from Vice? Ooh! I do, I do! Who remembers how
    disgustingly hard and long it was! Ooh! Me again! Yea, it's back, and it's
    even worse now. The opponents suck at driving and create crashes that
    screw you over. They attack you like crazy, and it's 12 laps long.
    Twelve bloody laps! This is a long race. It's a test of endurance, not
    of your driving skill. Drive at a steady pace and stick to the track
    except to avoid dumb accidents. There is NO pit stop, unlike Hotring. I
    highly suggest doing drive-bys to make the opposition explode. Take first
    early and stay there. Control the pack.
    Bill Radloff has this PITiful strategy:
    Here's an easy trick to win 8-track...use the "Pit" maneuver to spin out
    your opponents (pull up alongside their rear wheel, then pull into
    them...the car will spin around yours, while you go straight), and muscle
    your way to the front at the beginning of the race.  Once you're in front,
    as long as you stay off the walls (you can actually drive pretty slow) you
    have the race made...just be careful because you'll catch back up to
    traffic towards lap 10 or so, so your best bet is to just stay behind any 
    cars you come across at this point, since by then the worst drivers aren't
    trying to cause accidents any more.

    Reward: $10,000 + Monster (Monster truck) and Hotring Racer (incredibly
    fast stock car) now both spawn in the NW corner of the stadium.

    B. Badlands + San Fierro Missions (555Xb)

    These are missions that can be completed after Green Sabre but before Yay
    Ka-Boom Boom. Notice that I said CAN, and not MUST. You can do them
    whenever, but they only unlock after Green Sabre.

    1. Chiliad Challenge (555Xb1)
    Difficulty: 6.5/10

    At the top of Mt. Chiliad is a Mountain Bike and some Campers. Getting on
    the Mountain Bike between 7:00 and 18:00 activates the Chiliad Challenge.
    You need 40% bike skill to attempt this, 100% is recommended.

          a. Scotch Bonnet Yellow Route (555Xb1a)
          Difficulty: 5/10
          The first race is the easiest, and it's not very easy at all. The
          best way to win this is to be cheap and park a Camper around the
          first bend, so that the other racers hit it and fall of the
          mountain. Use this opening lead and pedal at a safe and steady pace
          for the rest of the race. Only cut corners if you can do it safely,
          without a chance of falling off the mountain.  

          b. Birdseye Winder Yellow Route (555Xb1b)
          Difficulty: 6/10

          Use the same strategy as the last, but be a LOT more careful. There
          are no borders for most of this race, and there are a few blind
          corners around shrubbery. Get a lead and keep the lead by racing
          with intelligence, not blind speed.

          c. Cobra Run (555Xb1c)
          Difficulty: 7.5/10
          This race sucks. The first half is spent with your thumb on the
          brake and handbrake staying steady along the wood path. Start by
          getting a lead and getting onto the platform first. If you push the
          computer off the path, you won't see him for a long time. There are
          only two competitors, rather than six, for this race. Be very slow
          and cautious on the planks, then pedal your ass off once you get to
          to the downhill run. You can fly for a couple of jumps and take a
          huge lead in a matter of seconds. Slow down for the last leg, since
          it's very easy to slip off the side. Once you get a straight path,
          floor it and do a victory bunny-hop.

          Alternate strategy by many people: You can go slowly along the side
          of the wooden path and bunny hop to the checkpoints if you mess up.
          I thought this was common knowledge, but a lot of people submitted it
          over the last couple of days.

          Thomas Spartinos says that you can also snipe them near the finish
          line; a confirmation would be appreciated.

    Reward: % Completion.

    2. San Fierro Arena (Blood Bowl) (555Xb2)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    This is unlocked as soon as you open up San Fierro, no need for driving
    skill here. This is the same as Bloodring from Vice. You start with 30
    seconds on the clock, each checkpoint adds 15 seconds, you need to get
    it to over a minute. The twists now are that you have someone in the car
    to do drive-bys for you, and now the other cars can steal checkpoints from
    you. Just keep the timer going at the beginning, and when the other cars
    start to kill each other, rack up a bunch of checkpoints in a row for the
    win. You get bonus cash if you blow up a car yourself, but the timer is
    far more important. The time required goes up by a minute every time you
    repeat this mission.

    Reward: $10,000 + Bloodring Banger spawns outside the stadium.

    3. San Fierro Courier (Hippy Shopper in HASHBURY, not Garcia) (555Xb3)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    You have a Freeway this time, so you're faster, but less agile.
    Six packages total, three dropoff points, 3 minutes, close together.
    Seven packages total, Five dropoff points, 5 minutes, close together.
    Eight packages total, six dropoff points, 6 minutes, spread apart.

    Reward: % Completion + the money you made.

    4. NRG Challenge (555Xb4)
    Difficulty: 7/10

    Parked under the dry dock near the Import/Export Crane in San Fierro. It's
    next to a stack of boxes.

    This is like the BMX Challenge, only infinitely harder. The NRG-500 is
    crazy fast, and totally awesome, but this is damn hard. Get the ones on
    the ground around the dock, then speed up to the very end of the bowl to
    get the highest point. Circle around and pick up all the ones along the
    bowl and on the ramp. After this, just pretend you're a skateboarder on a
    halfpipe and go back and forth, picking up all of the remaining 
    checkpoints. This is not an easy side mission, and you need to be damn
    confident with your skills on a bike before you do this.

    Josh Levine says that if you get a corona just as time is about to tick to
    -1:00 (as in, it's at 0:00 and about to change) that time may become
    unlimited. Try that if you're having problems.

    Reward: % Completion.

    5. Valet Parking (555Xb5)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    This is unlocked after you complete 555 We Tip in San Fierro. This is
    really easy stuff. You start with a minute, you get bonus time for every
    car you park. To start the side mission, head to your safe house and
    change into the Valet Uniform, then stand in the red circle at the hotel.
    When a car drives up, take it and park it in the garage. Simple stuff.
    Make sure not to take any damage, as 45 seconds helps a ton. You get up
    to 15 seconds as a parking bonus, but just get 5 or more and you're fine.
    There are five levels, each one adds a car that you have to park.
    The most important stat for this is stamina. High stamina lets you super-
    sprint back to the front of the hotel to park more cars. Other than that,
    just get this out of the way for percentage.

    Reward: Vank Hoff Hotel becomes an asset that collects $2000 daily.

    C. The Desert + Las Venturas Missions (555Xc)

    These are missions that can be completed after Yay Ka-Boom Boom, since the
    Desert and LV open at this point.

    1. Boating School (555Xc1)
    Located in the Bayside Marina, near Tierra Robada. Opens after the
    completion of Pier 69, but easier after Las Venturas is opened.

          a. *Basic Seamanship* (555Xc1a)
          Difficulty: 0/10

          Go forward. Stop. Wow. Get gold by doing anything but kill yourself.

          b. *Plot a Course* (555Xc1b)
          Difficulty: 1/10

          Go through the buoys, making sure not to hit them. Get gold by going
          fast and not hitting buoys.

          c. *Fresh Slalom* (555Xc1c)
          Difficulty: 2/10

          Use R1 to make tight turns. Same as Plot a Course, but with sharper
          turns to make it a bit harder. That's about it. Get gold by going
          fast and not hitting buoys.

          d. *Flying Fish* (555Xc1d)
          Difficulty: 2/10

          Screw this up once so you can see where the ramp is. Go again and hit
          the ramp straight going as fast you can. Over 67 meters is gold.

          e. *Land, Sea, and Air* (555Xc1e)
          Difficulty: 4/10

          The problem with this is that LV has to be open to make it easy. If
          you swam over to do this, then you start on the Desert, which gives
          you a four-star wanted level. It made it a lot more fun, and I still
          got gold on it. Just follow the buoys, hit the ramps, and avoid the
          rocks. I think 2:15 gives you gold, but it's probably a little bit
          more or less. It's easy. It doesn't matter.

    Reward for all Bronze: Marquis, crappy boat.
    Reward for all Silver: Squallo, good, fast boat.
    Reward for all Gold: Jetmax, killer fast boat. 

    2. Freight Train (555Xc2)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Another new addition. Jacking the trains in any city allows you to try out
    this mission. Stop the fast moving train at each stop on the map to earn
    some cash and bragging rights. Go at speed 44 the whole time. Speed 45 can
    derail you. Speed 44 can't. Start the brakes at about Distance 600 and
    just coast it in. Time really isn't a factor. To start level 2, enter and
    exit your train.

    Reward for completion: $50,000 and free transportation by train.

    3. Trucking (Must complete Tanker Commander from Catalina) (555Xc3)

    North of the Flint Intersection is RS Haul. There are different levels
    to this mission. Las Venturas must be opened to complete all levels.

    The key to all of these missions is to plan a safe route before you start
    going anywhere.

    Level 1. 120 seconds to head to the brewery in Red County.
    Difficulty: 1/10

    Just drive quickly. Not a big problem here. No weird routes at all.

    Reward: $1000

    Level 2. A damage meter (no time limit) to get to around Montgomery.
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Just drive safely. Not a big problem here. No weird routes at all.

    Reward: $2000 - damage.

    Level 3. 3-star wanted level (no damage/time) to get to around El Corona.
    Difficulty: 4/10

    Oh. This sucks. Drive quickly to avoid the cops and safely. The cops will
    try to dislodge your trailer, and they're pretty good at it. Force them
    into walls, do whatever you have to do. Just follow your route and park
    the truck. The wanted level disappears upon completion.

    Reward: $3000

    Level 4. 300 seconds to get to Angel Pines or related areas.
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Try to get on the freeway at the Flint Intersection and just ride it out,
    this strategy applies to the mission six as well. If you don't get Angel
    Pines as your delivery, blow up the tanker and restart. It's really
    easy if you get Angel Pine.

    Reward: $4000

    Level 5. A damage meter to get to somewhere in San Fierro (random).
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Drive safely. There is no excuse for taking too much damage. You can go as
    slow as you want. It doesn't matter.

    Reward: $4000 - damage.

    Level 6. 3-star wanted level to get to Angel Pines or related areas.
    Difficulty: 4/10

    Take the same route as in four and ignore the police. They won't bother
    you much on the freeways.
    Reward: $5000

    Level 7. Damage meter + 360 seconds to get to northern San Andreas.
    Difficulty: 5/10

    Here we go; these last two are the toughies. You want to get Tierra Robada
    as your location. Cross the bridge to Las Venturas very quickly, then take
    your time on the desert highways. The time limit really isn't a problem
    here unless you dislodge the trailer by accident. Don't do that.

    Reward: $7000 - damage.

    Level 8. 4-star wanted level to get to LAS VENTURAS! Long run!
    Difficulty: 5/10

    Last one! Just keep moving constantly! Plot your route to start the same
    as in mission 7, then take a right into Venturas. The freeways of Venturas
    are very fast and are a direct route to the Rockshores. East or West is
    fine; they are both easy locations. Avoid the police at all costs, park
    the truck, and claim your final rewards.

    Strategy by Guto: 1 - As soon as you enter the truck, pull up the map. What
    you are looking for is for the mission to end at the lower right corner of 
    Las Venturas (right next to the tracks).
    2 - If it is anywhere else, exit the truck before you move, run to the side
    of the compound out of explosion range and shoot the truck until it catches
    fire and explodes.
    3 - Restart the mission until this location is the one selected.  Note that
    you do not get the four stars until the truck leaves the trucking depot.
    4 - Once this location comes up as your finish point, leave the truck depot
    going completely straight ahead toward the tracks and hang a right onto the
    train tracks (counterclockwise around the train loop).
    5 - Follow the tracks to the end.  This makes it oh so easy except for step
    6 - Watch out for the train!  I had to restart this several times. Make
    sure you have plenty of daylight left (like more than 10-12 minutes) when
    entering the truck to give you the most light in the tunnels as possible!

    Reward: $10,000; RS Haul collects $2000 as an asset.
    Las Venturas must be unlocked to complete this.

    4. Ammunation Challenge (555Xc4)
    Difficulty: 3/10

    These are located in the large Ammunations of each cities, as well as one
    in the Badlands. These missions are kind of catch-22, since they are
    designed to help you increase weapon skill, but to complete them, you
    really need to have Hitman skill.

    There are four levels, 9mm, mini-SMG, Shotgun, and AK-47. They open up as
    you progress missions. There are three rounds, the first is to hit a
    stationary target that gets placed farther back for each target you
    destroy. Destroy three to move on. Stage two is with a target that moves
    towards you. Destroy three to move on. Stage three is the only hard one,
    since you are in hard competition for one target that moves side to side.
    Take out as many as you can, getting 20 before either of the CPU
    opponents. Complete all four weapons to get credit for this.

    Reward: % Completion and some free weapon skill.

    5. Import/Export Crane (555xc5)
    Difficulty: 5.5/10

    The I/E crane becomes available after Customs Fast Track for Cesar in the
    Steal Cars strand of missions. Each list is ten cars long. Some are easy
    and some are hard. Some are nigh impossible. Each car has a maximum value
    that it starts with and loses as it takes damage.

    Here is a starting map for basic locations:

    Thanks to GamerLady for that.
    It's by no means a bible, but it really does help. Note that some of the
    vehicles there are spawned by completing certain things (obviously, there
    is no Rhino on Grove St. until you get 100%).

    List 1:             | List 2:                  | List 3:
    Patriot   ($40,000) | Slamvan        ($19,000) | Blade        ($19,000)
    Sanchez   ($10,000) | Blista Compact ($35,000) | Freeway      ($10,000)
    Stretch   ($40,000) | Stafford       ($35,000) | Mesa         ($25,000)
    Feltzer   ($35,000) | Sabre          ($19,000) | ZR-350       ($45,000)
    Remington ($30,000) | FCR-900        ($10,000) | Euros        ($35,000)
    Buffalo   ($35,000) | Cheetah       ($105,000) | Banshee      ($45,000)
    Sentinel  ($35,000) | Rancher        ($40,000) | Super GT    ($105,000)
    Infernus  ($95,000) | Stallion       ($19,000) | Journey      ($22,000)
    Camper    ($26,000) | Tanker         ($35,000) | Huntley      ($40,000)
    Admiral   ($35,000) | Comet          ($45,000) | BF Injection ($15,000)
    As you can see, a nice fortune can be made off of this crane. Use it well!
    I will add extra locations for each car as time goes on, but for now, the 
    map has every location you need. The Patriot is best found at Easter Bay
    Chemicals, not the naval or army base. Other than that, happy hunting.

    Importing works on certain days of the week. Every car you export can be
    imported on a select day of each week. The Club ($28,000), Perennial
    ($8,000), and Jester ($28,000) are the three starting importable cars.

    Special imports:
    [5] List 1: Monster ($32,000); 2: Bandito ($12,000); 3: Vortex ($20,000) 
    [10] List 1: Windsor ($28,000); 2: Turismo ($76,000); 3: Bullet ($84,000)

    Most of these special imports suck, except for the Turismo. The Bullet you
    can get for free if you got silver at driving school, which is very easy.
    Pretty stupid. Anyway, that's it for the Crane.

    Locations for cars that need them:
    Patriot - Easter Bay Chemicals
    Feltzer - All throughout Downtown. Also at a gas station in the southeast
    corner of Flint County.
    Remington - Parked at Unity Station where the Lowrider Challenge is.
    Buffalo - Parked by Catalina's cabin.
    Sentinel - Usually on the Strip. Parked location on the map I gave above.
    Infernus - Usually in Prickle Pine. Parked location on the map I gave.
    Camper - On top of Mt. Chiliad.
    Admiral - Usually found in Richman. Also found parked north of Verdant 
    Slamvan - Found along the Strip. Parked behind a strip club near Unity
    Stafford - Parked in the circular parking area in King's. Also drives
    around there frequently.
    FCR-900 - Drives all over San Fierro. Reward for all silver at Bike School.
    Cheetah - Prickle Pine. All sports cars frequent Prickle Pine.
    Tanker - Usually found driving around the Desert. Looks like a Linerunner,
    only bigger. Commonly mistaken; just keep checking.
    Comet - Parked outside Alviso Country Club, near the tennis courts.
    Mesa - Parked near the finish line at Mt. Chiliad.
    Euros - Parked under the Camel's Toe.
    Banshee - Found mine near Alviso Country Club. Also frequents Prickle Pine,
    and has a parked location in Come-a-Lot. CapoeiristaCH says he found a
    parked one behind the gym in San Fierro.
    Huntley - Drive a Rancher to help it spawn. Also spawns in place of the
    Hotknife at Driving School sometimes. Just check for it.
    BF Injection - Along Santa Maria Beach.

    Key Tips:
    -Drive the railroad tracks from LS->SF or LV->SF. They're the safest way to
    travel long distances and they lead straight to the crane.
    -If a car is locked or not spawned, drive around the block a few times. It
    should unlock/respawn.
    -Need a sports car? Drive one. Need an SUV? Drive one. It's in the game's
    coding to spawn cars of like type.
    -Use your garages. There's about 100 spaces in garages worth of car space.
    If you see a car on a later list, jack it and save it somewhere. 
    -Use the map I posted. It kicks major amounts of ass.

    6. Biking School (555Xc6)
    Located just south of the Las Venturas stadium. Open as soon as you get
    access to Las Venturas.

          a. *The 360* (555Xc6a)
          Difficulty: 1/10

          Hold down square and X while turning in a circle. Get gold by heading
          back to your starting position.

          b. *The 180* (555Xc6b)
          Difficulty: 1/10

          Go forward quickly, hit the handbrake, turn, come back. Get gold by
          parking perfectly.

          c. *The Wheelie* (555Xc6c)
          Difficulty: 2/10

          You can't start the wheelie until right before you get to the cones.
          Just note that and you're fine. Get gold by parking perfectly.

          d. *Jump and Stop* (555Xc6d)
          Difficulty: 2/10

          Jump! Stop! Get gold by parking perfectly.

          e. *The Stoppie* (555Xc6e)
          Difficulty: 3/10

          Start your stoppie right as you get to the cones and end it as soon
          as you can to maintain balance. Get gold by parking perfectly.

          f. *Jump and Stoppie* (555Xc6f)
          Difficulty: 3/10

          Getting gold is easier than bronze here. Floor it and lean forward to
          get as much speed as possible. Land completely straight, NOT on your
          front wheel. The game will stop you automatically, and perfectly
          straight. Work on your timing and you end up right in the middle.
          It's cheap, but very effective.

    Reward for all Bronze: Freeway
    Reward for all Silver: FCR-900
    Reward for all Gold: NRG-500, drool.

    Biking skill goes up for completion and for every gold. Higher bike skill
    isn't necessary for this since Bike School is stupidly easy.

    7. Las Venturas Arena (Dirt Track) (555Xc7)
    Difficulty: 3/10
    Come to the Las Venturas stadium on Mondays and Wednesdays for this Sanchez
    racing challenge.

    This challenge is easy if you just ignore all the other races. There is a
    scripted crash for the computer that will get you a huge lead or put a lot
    of distance. I had a lead by lap 4, and by lap 6, I was lapping the last
    few racers. Just take the turns slowly and take the jumps straight, and try
    not to get caught up in all the accidents.

    Reward: $25000, and the BF Injection spawns outside on Monday and 
    Wednesday. It also spawns all over the desert. What a prize.

    8. Las Venturas Arena (Kickstart) (555Xc8)
    Difficulty: 3.5/10

    Come to the Las Venturas stadium on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Friday through
    Sunday for this Sanchez obstacle course of death.

    This is so not as bad as I thought it was going to be. With maxed Bike
    skill, you can run face first into a wall and not fall off. Believe me, I
    did it a few times. I did this by collection a few easy greens, then
    getting some harder ambers, and I only went for two reds. I had about 23
    points at that point, so I grabbed all the remaining greens that I hadn't
    gotten and finished with 29. There's a total of almost 50, so just take
    your pick and go with it. You have 4:00 to get 26 points. 25 will not give
    you victory.
    Reward: $0. The Dune now spawns outside on every not Monday or Wednesday.

    9. Las Venturas Courier (555Xc9)
    Difficulty: 2/10

    The same as the other Couriers except that this one starts in Redsands
    East at the Burger Shot, and your vehicle is the Faggio (Fah-jee-oh).

    You have a Faggio this time, so you're slow, but you can pick up quite a
    bit of speed if you lean forward on the scooter and ride the center of the
    road for the whole thing. Use the basic Courier strategies and don't stress
    about the time limits. Oh, and on the fourth level, the checkpoints spawn
    in strip malls with annoying walls around them. Find the entrance; don't
    try to force your way over.
    Six packages total, four dropoff points, 5 minutes, somewhat close.
    Seven packages total, Five dropoff points, 5 minutes, somewhat spread out.
    Eight packages total, six dropoff points, 7 minutes, very spread apart.

    Reward: % Completion + the money you made.    

    10. Quarry Missions (555Xc10)

    Complete Explosive Situation (the 2nd Woozie Casino mission) and head to
    Hunter Quarry for these seven challenges.

    Mission 1 -- Difficulty: 1/10
    You have 3:30 to clear seven rocks. This is easy stuff. The Bulldozer
    cannot flip over and explode, so feel free to just roll down the sides of
    the quarry to get to lower levels. The Dozer sucks at climbing, so try to
    only go down if you have the chance. Other than that, just get a feel for
    the controls. We use the Dozer a lot.

    Reward: $500

    Mission 2 -- Difficulty: 2/10
    You have set times to defuse the bombs. The times are really generous if
    you know what you're doing with the Dozer. If you aren't comfortable with
    the controls, you better learn fast. Just push the explosives away and then
    get away from the barrels and move on. The time limits are preset, so it
    doesn't matter how fast you finish the previous explosive. Remove all four
    explosives to complete this mission.

    Reward: $1000

    Mission 3 -- Difficulty: 1.5/10
    The Dumper is our other best buddy. This huge truck can take a mammoth
    beating and rolls over everything like a damned tank. I love it. Just speed
    along the highway until you catch the thieves. Either push them into the
    water or pull along side and dump a clip of drive-by into them. Don't stick
    around after the other truck catches on fire, since you're out in the
    middle of nowhere and you'll need a ride home.

    Reward: $2000

    Mission 4 -- Difficulty: 3/10
    This is your intro to hauling crap with the Dumper. It's not fun, and it
    can be very frustrating later. Do NOT let a body fall out of the bed of
    the truck. They also stick really well until you get to the quarry, but as
    soon as you touch the familiar dirt, they start slipping around like fish.
    Go slowly -- SLOWLY down the sides. You don't have to go slow now, but
    later, you will rely on it. Back to the fire and raise the back end to dump
    the bodies into the makeshift furnace.

    Reward: $3000

    Mission 5 -- Difficulty: 5/10
    One of the two hard Quarry missions. Your Dumper is now a gentle snowflake.
    Treat it like your girlfriend, unless of course you're an abusive rapist or
    something. Take the first left followed by the first right and follow the
    bend at Cluckin' Bell. Take a left onto a side road and then a dirt path
    to Verdant Meadows. This is the safest, fastest route I could find, and it
    worked on the second try. The problem is really just that hitting anything
    going faster than a bug will cause you to explode instantly. It's really
    not cool if you hadn't saved for a while. Dump the explosives directly into
    the red marker to complete the mission.

    Reward: $5000

    Mission 6 -- Difficulty: 2.5/10
    Just drive the Dozer to the tracks and start pushing the barrels. They
    should all start falling off to the side. Finish the tracks, then come back
    and remove the ones that didn't quite make it. If the train goes by without
    hitting any barrels, or you for that matter, you win.

    Reward: $7500

    Mission 7 -- Difficulty: 6/10
    I broke my favorite controller over this. This mission is frustrating
    because it shouldn't be hard. Push, pull, drive, dump. Except it's "push
    a body that rolls down hills faster than a Banshee", "pull with a crane
    that controls worse than the RC Baron", "drive at the speed of piss because
    the body and bike slide as if friction didn't exist", and then "dump off
    the side of an inclined cliff, praying that your handbrake finger doesn't
    slip for a half second." Three times that happened to me. There really
    isn't much of a strategy here. Just put everything from the above missions
    together and don't do anything stupid. Oh, but I did fix the controller,
    so need to pour a 40 for it or anything.

    Tip by Dmitri W.: Go up the slope backwards with the Dumper to keep the
    bodies in the truck.

    Reward: $10000, Hunter Quarry becomes a $2000/day asset, Dumper and Dozer
    spawn at the bottom of the Quarry.

    D. Race Tournaments (555Xd)

    Race tournaments are marked by a checkered flag on your in-game map. All
    races net $10,000 except Badlands A and B, which are $5000 each. You must
    place first to receive your money and credit towards 100%. You cannot
    destroy the other racers by any means. They are all bulletproof, even the
    motorcyclists themselves. You cannot keep any car you race with, since the
    screen fades to black if you win or fail. You will need very high or maxed
    driving and biking skills for these races, and flying for the last ones.

    These races are worth a huge chunk of percentage since all of them count
    as full missions. If you save, you'll notice that the title of the save is
    the name of the last race completed. Yowch.

    I believe they open up after you complete Driving School and purchase
    Verdant Meadows. There may be other requirements, but I am unaware of it.

    1. Los Santos Circuit (555Xd1)

    Lowrider Race - 1.46 miles - Blade
    Difficulty: 4/10

    You've already done this one for Cesar as a mission. I did it again and got
    no % complete. However, you should do it again, since it's a good warmup.
    Little Loop - .82 miles - NRG-500
    Difficulty: 1/10

    The NRG-500 kicks so much ass it's ridiculous. Just floor it, and ignore
    the other competitors. You'll leave them in the dust in the first quarter
    of a mile. Use the handbrake for all turns and just ride it out. Oh, and
    since everyone thinks it's so cool and unknown, here's the trick for all
    motorcycles: lean slightly forward via the left control stick to go faster.
    I thought everyone already knew that.

    Backroad Wanderer - 2.05 miles - FCR-900
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Yay motorcycle races. These are all so easy because the fact that you can
    speed boost and the computers can't. Just take it slow and then floor it
    on the straightaways. Dodge traffic by riding the center of the road, or
    staying off to the right. This is a very easy track to navigate.

    City Circuit - 2.26 miles - FCR-900
    Difficulty: 1.5/10

    Use the same strategy as above. Slow on corners, fast as hell on the
    straightaways. The FCR isn't an NRG, but it can haul ass if you use it
    right. Ignore the competitors and enjoy the sights.

    Vinewood - 2.41 miles - Sunrise
    Difficulty: 5.5/10

    This race sucks just because the Sunrise is a piece of crap. The sedan
    races are all horrible because the cars aren't meant to move like that.
    Just race intelligently, avoiding traffic. Use the PIT maneuver if you have
    to, but really just focus on the road. Once you get a lead, it's pretty
    easy to keep. There's a nice straightaway before the finish to take back a
    lead if you lost it.

    Freeway - 2.62 miles - Super GT
    Difficulty: 4.5/10

    Suck suck suck. This race sucks. The race is made artificially hard by the
    fact that the Super GT is slower than most of the other cars, but not by
    a lot. The problem is that they all corner like the road was sandpaper. The
    entire race you get to watch these cars corner like nothing. Start the race
    off by staying in the middle of the road and PITing whatever cars you catch
    up to. When you get to the island, slow down and go over it. This screws
    the other racers up to give you a quick lead. Once you get past the island,
    floor it until the turn. Slow down for a bit, get on the freeway, and floor
    it again. You should now have a commanding lead that you can hold as you
    head back through the city.

    Into the Country - 5.22 miles - Bullet
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Easy as a Los Santos hooker. Straightaway -- floor it. What? The straight-
    away goes on for 75% of the race? Awesome! Yea, it's that easy. The Bullet
    is your daddy and it will take you the entire race without a problem.

    Badlands A - 2.99 miles - Sabre
    Difficulty: 3/10

    You already did this as a mission called Wu Zi Mu. You don't have to do it
    again. Look back there for a strategy.

    Badlands B - 2.99 miles - ZR-350
    Difficulty: 4/10

    You already did this as a mission called Farewell, My Love... You don't
    have to do it again. Look back there for a strategy.

    2. San Fierro Circuit (555Xd2)

    Dirtbike Danger - 1.99 miles - Sanchez
    Difficulty: 1/10
    This is a very easy race. Cut as many corners as you can and take an early
    lead. You can hold the lead easily just by racing intelligently.

    Bandito County - 2.02 miles - Bandito
    Difficulty: 1.5/10
    The Bandito rolls easily, but can't flip over and explode. You can take
    sharp turns, but slow down before them so that you don't lose valuable time
    and placement. When you're crossing water, speed up greatly to make sure
    that you don't get stuck. Other than that, stay on the path except to cut
    a few quick corners.

    Go-Go Carting - 1.18 miles - Kart
    Difficulty: 3/10
    CJ in a Gokart is so funny it's ridiculous. It's almost impossible to roll
    the Kart, but it's very easy to spin. Hitting a pole, wall, person, cat,
    or leaf can easily screw the race up for a bit. However, the other racers
    are horrible at karting, so take a lead and just slow it down. Speed up
    along the alley straightaways and finish in a circle.
    San Fierro Fastlane - 1.64 miles - Alpha
    Difficulty: 4.5/10
    This is one of the first hard races because the other racers are faster
    than you and take turns like butter. However, at the start of the race,
    they are far too focused on each other than the corners. Take a quick lead
    and cut the first grassy corner to get a decent lead. You may lose it along
    the hills, but gain it on the huge straightaway through Chinatown and then
    in Palisades. You can go from 4th to 1st very quickly towards the end, so
    don't give up until the very end.

    San Fierro Hills - 5.2 miles - Phoenix
    Difficulty: 4/10
    This is a pretty easy race despite the length. The other cars are driving
    cars slower than yours, so you can get an early lead if you play your cards
    correctly. The key to this race is simple. On the long straightaway on the
    freeway -- FLOOR IT! There are almost no cars during this race for some
    reason, so put the pedal to the metal and let the Phoenix fly. Once you've
    gotten that lead, keep the rest of the race smart, and don't total your
    car. Most of this information stands for the next race as well.

    Country Endurance - 6.68! miles - Bullet
    Difficulty: 5/10
    This is basically the same as the last race except longer and the cars are
    all faster. The Bullet is a speed demon, and YOU are your own worst enemy.
    Do not abuse the speed of this car. There are tons of hairpin turns that
    lead to dips in the ocean if you aren't careful. However, feel free to let
    the car drive you during the few long straightaways. Once you get a lead,
    you can keep it easily by flooring it on the straightaways and taking clean
    turns. The other cars try to go the same speed the whole race and they fail
    miserably. For a random story, since I don't put many in this guide, I was
    headed around the sharp turns at the end when all of the sudden the ZR350
    comes flying over my car and down the road, flipping and rolling until it
    landed on its wheels and started back up the path. Teehe.

    3. Las Venturas Circuit (555Xd3)

    San Fierro to Las Venturas - 4.85 miles - Banshee
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Oh damn I love the Banshee. It's the best car in the game. Hands down.
    Don't even argue with me. It's fast and it handles like a dream. Just ride
    the race out, enjoying the freeway once you get on it. You don't even have
    to try on this one guys.
    Dam Rider - 2.67 miles - NRG-500
    Difficulty: 2/10

    All motorcycle races are still easy. You will have to ride slower than you
    usually do for the next two races, but it's not a problem. Just take the
    turns with a handbrake and floor it across the Sherman Dam. The NRG is the
    fastest vehicle in the game. Enjoy it.

    Desert Tricks - 2.91 miles - FCR-900
    Difficulty: 2.5/10

    This race starts hard because you really can't see the path that you're on.
    Once you get on the road, you can get a quick lead because the other racers
    are idiots. Floor it along the northern straightaway, slow down, then get
    speed again on the southern straightaway. After the dam, there's a sharp
    turn down the dirt road again. Don't miss it and blow the whole thing.

    Las Venturas Ringroad - 3.7 miles - Turismo
    Difficulty: 3/10

    All of the LV races are pretty easy, actually. This race is all straight-
    aways with turns. Hence, ringroad. The Turismo is a very fast car, but the
    freeway has a lot of traffic and no drive-able median. Stay on the right
    side of the road and just watch for random traffic. This is the last time
    you get to street race a car, so enjoy it.

    4. Las Venturas Airport Checkpoints (555Xd4)

    There are no opponents or time limits for these races. However, they are
    mostly difficult.

    World War Aces - 4.24 miles - Rustler
    Difficulty: 4/10

    I'm putting all of these at high difficulties because flying a plane in
    this game is not easy. They aren't that bad, but a lot of people really
    suck at flying. Really no strategies here, except to take it slow and try
    to go through the center of each corona to line yourself up for the next
    one. Oh, and don't forget to remove your landing gear.

    Barnstorming - 7.64 miles - Stuntplane
    Difficulty: 5.5/10

    The Stuntplane handles like an RC plane. However, it does have the nice
    ability to miss a turn and just do a loop and pick it up. Only hold down
    X to go higher. It is far safe to just cruise at a steady speed and tap
    the control stick to move around. Watch for trees mainly, and just cruise
    along. There is no need for speed.

    Military Service - 10.8! miles - HYDRA :D
    Difficulty: 3/10
    Remember what I just said about no need for speed? It took me 15 minutes
    to do this race, but dammit, I didn't explode. Keep it as a helicopter and
    cruise along at the speed of smell. It's horribly slow and boring, but you
    almost can't fail this way. If you want to be a stickler, hold back on the
    right analog stick to use it as a jet. It's scary fast though, so just 
    watch every turn. You are far safer as a helicopter.

    Edit: Many people have said to just leave the landing gear on to provide
    the drag needed. I haven't tested this a lot, but it works pretty well.

    Chopper Checkpoint - 3.05 miles - Maverick
    Difficulty: 2/10

    Oh wow. This is a nice change. The Maverick is my second favorite
    helicopter because it handles perfectly. It goes wherever you want and
    isn't too fickle about controls. Enjoy these next two. They are your
    preparation for Heli Hell.

    Whirly Bird Waypoint - 2.73 miles - Maverick
    Difficulty: 3/10

    Same as above, but watch for the underpasses. Take them slowly and don't
    try to go up too early. It's very easy to go, "Yay! Got it!" and then crash
    right into the bridge. This also feels a lot longer than 2.73 miles.

    Heli Hell - 3.08 miles - Hunter
    Difficulty: 4.5/10

    This is your test of helicopter prowess. It's really not too bad if you,
    as usual, take it slow! The Hunter is very fast, and very fast is very bad
    when you're not trying to go very far. There are two major overpasses, the
    first of which is a long section of freeways that you have to be very
    careful about, and the second is a quick dip under one. After the second
    one, it's a free ride back to the airport. Oh, the Hunter can also take
    quite a beating. I crashed mine into some walls, some billboards, some
    freeways, and it just kept ticking.

    Reward for completion all 25 races: $1,000,000 (NICE)

XI. Basic Info (555XI)

     A. Controls  (555XIa)

     1. Controls on Foot (555XIa1)
     D-Pad----------------Gang Sign/Response Control
     Left Control Stick---Move around/Move scope while shooting
     Right Control Stick--First person view (can't move)
     Start----------------Pause to menu
     X--------------------Hold: Sprint; Tap: Supersprint
     Circle---------------Dive underwater/Shoot
     Triangle-------------Enter vehicle
     L1-------------------Display stats/Shoot while targeted
     L2-------------------Change weapons back

     2. Controls in Car (555XIa2)
     D-Pad----------------Up/Down: Cycle Radio; Right: Trip Skip (back to
     previous mission start)
     Left Control Stick---Turn vehicle
     Right Control Stick--Turret control/Manual Camera
     Circle---------------Nitrous/Drive-by (hold L2 or R2)
     Triangle-------------Exit vehicle

(L3 and R3 buttons are accessed by pressing down on corresponding control stick)

     3: Controls on Bike (555XIa3)
     Left Control Stick---Turn bike
     Right Control Stick--Manual camera
     Triangle-------------Get on/off bike
     L1-------------------Hold to bunny-hop
     4. Controls in Helicopter (555XIa4)
     L Control Stick Up---Accelerate forward
     L Control Stick Down-Accelerate backwards
     Left Control Stick---Pitch/Roll
     Right Control Stick--Turret/Camera
     Circle---------------Secondary weapon (Hunter only)
     Triangle-------------Enter/exit vehicle
     R2-------------------Rudder right
     R3-------------------Brown Thunder (Hunter only)

     5. Controls in Plane (555XIa5)

     Left Control Stick---Pitch/Roll
     Right Control Stick--Turret/Camera
     Circle---------------Alternate weapon (Hydra only)
     R1-------------------Hold to target (Hydra only)
     R3-------------------Raise/Lower landing gear

    B. **** Tha Police! (555XIb)

    * --- Maybe one or two cops will trot over to your car and nonchalantly try
    to take you out. Not a problem. It goes away over time.

    ** -- Some cops will come, but hiding inside of a building will drop the
    wanted level.

    ** -- Lots of cops start to come, as well as a police helicopter from Hell.
    *     This thing hurts a lot more than the one from VC.

    ** -- The SWAT start to come via Enforcer and they drop from the heli-
    **    copter. A Pay N' Spray or at least a police bribe would be a good
          idea at this point.

    *** - The FBI comes and they have MP5s. This is some serious trouble. Find 
    **    a Pay N' Spray!

    *** - It's the army. Tanks, Barracks, mayhem. Get a tank or get to a save
    ***   house, fast.

    You can remove a wanted level by picking up a police bribe, getting sprayed
    at a Pay N' Spray, completing a mission, saving, dying, or getting busted.
    Changing clothes also removes a wanted level (thanks to Wistre for pointing
    this out first; yes, I know others submitted it).

    Wanted levels are amassed by killing lots of pedestrians, killing cops,   
    blowing up lots of vehicles, performing certain missions that involve lots
    of illegal stuff, and some other minor things. You get a one star warning
    for hitting a cop car or motorcycle, so try not to. It's not a problem,
    just annoying.

    C. Statistics (555XIc)

    78% of All Statistics Are Made Up on the Spot

    There are all sorts of stats in this game. Each one has it's own special
    purpose in life.

    Muscle -- Muscle is one of the two biggest stats. Raise this by working out
    in the gyms and pumping iron. There is no penalty for being buffed up to
    the max. Muscle decreases over time if you don't eat.

    Stamina -- This is the other main stat. The higher your stamina, the longer
    you can sprint, bike, and swim. Stamina never decreases, so max it by 
    riding bikes or running on the treadmill.

    Fat -- You get fat by eating any food that isn't salad. Having SOME fat is
    a good thing. You want like 2% fat. If you aren't burning fat when you run,
    you are burning muscle. This sucks, and makes you have to go back to the 
    gym every day to fix your losses.

    Lung Capacity -- Swimming underwater increases this stat. Hit circle to
    dive underwater and swim around.

    Driving -- Driving stat increases by driving. The higher your driving stat,
    the less you spin out on turns and the harder your car is to flip over by
    hitting little bumps. Driving increases the slowest of any vehicle stat.

    Bike -- Bike skill increases by riding motorcycles. The higher your bike
    stat, the harder it is to fall off and the faster you can reverse. You also
    take less damage for falls.

    Cycle -- Cycle skill increases by, get this, riding bicycles. The more you
    pedal, the more bike skill raises. Cycle increases the fastest of any
    vehicle statistic.

    Flying -- The more you fly, the more responsive the controls are and the
    less you tend to drift off away from where you want to go. Getting 20%
    flying skill nets you a free pilot's license.

    Gambling -- The more you gamble, the more you can bet on a single wager and
    the more luck you have while betting. 

    Dating -- Dating girls and keeping them happy raises your dating stat,
    which allows you to increase your "Times Laid" stat. It's all for fun. Your
    sex appeal stat is tied into this as well.

    Weapon -- Weapon stats increase by shooting pedestrians, gang members,
    cops, and vehicles. The higher the weapon stat, the more you can do with
    the gun. Walk while shooting, run while shooting, pin point heads, or in
    the case of the 9mm, sawnoff shotgun, Tec9, and mini-SMG, carry two at
    once. There are three weapon skills, Poor, Gangster, and Hitman.

    Respect -- I've got a section on respect down below. Check it out.

    D. I Tell Ya, I Get No Respect (555XId)

    Here's how respect works. Respect simply allows you to recruit more
    gangsters to follow you around as lackeys. You can get up to seven
    followers. Recruit a gang member by targeting an Grove Street member in
    green and hitting down on the D-pad.

    Running respect is 40% of your total. Mission progress is 36%. Turf control
    is 6%, money is 6%, fitness is 4%, girlfriends are 4%, and clothes are 4%.
    Running respect is raised and lowered in these ways:
    Kill a drug dealer  +.005%
    Kill a gang member  +.5%
    Take over territory +30%
    Kill an OG member   -.005%
    An OG member dies   -2%
    Territory is lost   -3%

    Turf wars are by far the best way to raise respect quickly.

    E. Weaponry Info (555XIe)

    Your fist -- Just what it sounds like, it's your fist.

    Brass Knuckles -- Attach these to your fists for an extra punch.

    Baseball Bat -- Great for beating the hell out of anything you want to.

    Chainsaw -- Vroom vroom. You know what it is.

    Golf Club -- Great for hitting balls, and not just golf balls.

    Katana -- Carl Johnson. Thug. Gangsta. Samurai.

    Knife -- Walk up behind someone and hit Triangle to slit their throat. A
    lot of hookers carry these.

    Nightstick -- A cop's beatin' stick.

    Pool Stick -- For those who can't stand pool.

    Shovel -- Your standard all-purpose spade. There's one behind Ryder's

    9mm -- A plain ol' 9mm. Found on nearly all gangsters and cops. Gangster
    level reached at 10%, able to be dual weld at 100% by picking up another

    Desert Eagle -- A .50 caliber handgun that hurts like hell. Gangster
    reached at 20%.

    Silenced 9mm -- A 9mm with a silencer. Gangster level reached at 20%.
    Cannot be dual weld.

    Combat Shotgun -- A killer Spaz-12 auto-shotgun. Gangster at 20%.

    Sawn-off Shotgun -- Here you go. This is the ultimate melee weapon at
    Hitman level. You can dual wield these babies. Gangster at 20%.

    Shotgun -- A double-barreled shotgun that packs a punch. Gangster at 20%.

    Micro-SMG -- Faster than the Tec and slightly harder hitting. Gangster at
    10%. Can also be dual weld.

    MP5 -- The best of the SMGs by far. Gangster at 30%.    

    Tec9 -- A thug's gat. Weak, but effective. Gangster at 10%. Can be dual

Assault Rifles:
     AK-47 -- The terrorists weapon of choice. Gangster at 30%, get Hitman to
     become a headshot machine.

     M4 -- The counter-terrorist weapon of choice. Gangster at 20%.

    Country Rifle -- You have to scope with this one-shot rifle. It kills in
    two hits and has medium range.

    Sniper Rifle -- Take someone out before they know what hit them. Has a huge
    scope and kills in one hit.

    Flamethrower -- Burn baby burn.

    Heat-Seeking RPG -- Do I have to say anything?

    Minigun -- You can aim this now, unlike in VC. This thing is a killer
    weapon, and wipes out anything in its path.

    Rocket Launcher -- Fwooooosh.

    Grenades -- Meh.

    Molotovs -- Everyone's favorite fire bomb.

    Remote Explosive -- Here we go. Throw it, watch it stick, then switch to
    the detonator for some good time fun.

    Tear Gas -- Doesn't hurt cars, but wipes out crowds in a hurry.

    Camera -- For snapshots in SF. Also found in the same bedroom.

    Fire Extinguisher -- Extinguisher of fires. Also a fun way to suffocate
    some poor sap to death.

    Spray Can -- For spraying tags in LS. Found in the bedroom of the Johnson

    Cane -- A beatin' stick...of love. (Thanks RanjaMan for the fix).

    Dildo -- Yea, there's a dildo guys. It's in the shower of the LS police
    station, and you can give it as a gift. Target your girlfriend and hit L1
    to give it to her.

    Flowers -- Found throughout San Andreas. Perfect gifts for that special ho
    in your life.

    Vibrator -- Hidden in the dump in Bayside Marina is a small white vibrator.

    Jetpack -- Info by Cedric Jacobs: After the mission Green Goo out in the
    Desert, it spawns at the Verdant Meadows airfield afterwards. Controls:
    X = go up, Square = go down, L Analog = change directions, L2 = strafe
    left, R2 = strafe right, R2+L2 = hover.

    Parachute -- There's one on top of the hotel in SF, the huge circular
    building in LS, and on top of Mt. Chiliad. Other locations are on top of
    the highest Gant Bridge support, on top of The Big Ear in the Desert, and
    on top of the highest skyscraper of Las Venturas (need an aircraft to get
    to this location).    

    Thermal Goggles -- These are mainly a mission only item, but you can find
    a few of them in select locations throughout SA.

    Nightvision Goggles -- These are mainly a mission only item, but you can
    find a few of them in select locations throughout SA, such as in the
    mansion you get near the end of the game.

    To increase your weapon skills on the weapons that have skills, kill
    things! Pedestrians are worth one point, enemy gang members are worth more,
    cops are worth the most. Turf wars are a good way to powerlevel your stats,
    as well as just long cop fights for fun. Hitman skill in AK, M4, 9mm, and
    MP5 are almost crucial for a lot of missions.

    Adrenaline -- These are found very scarcely throughout San Andreas. I've
    found one through all of my exploring. They aren't very exciting, all they
    do is create bullet time so you can see more blood for about a minute.

    Armor -- Body armor is found throughout San Andreas and in Ammunations. The
    first location is behind Sweet's house, in the aqueducts under an overpass.

    Camera Icon -- This appears from 0:01-4:00 in areas around SF. Take a
    picture of the area it's in. These are the hidden packages of SF.

    Health -- Health pickups only appear during certain missions and turf wars.

    Horseshoes -- The hidden packages of LV. These raise your luck stat.

    Oysters -- These are the underwater hidden packages found all throughout
    San Andreas. They raises sex appeal and lung capacity.

    Police Bribe -- A floating star is a police bribe that removes one wanted
    level from your current level.

    Two-Player Icon -- A floating pink icon with two people on it is a 
    two-player icon. This starts either a two-player free roam or rampage. I'm
    going to leave it up to you guys to find these on your own. I hate location
    guides :/

    F. Stores Info (555XIf)

    This has the best items you can buy for stores, there is no need for a
    complete list. If you want that, please, check GameFAQs for the guide that
    someone typed directly off of the Brady Guide.

    Binco (Open from the beginning)
    Key items:
    Green Hoody -- Respect:15 ; Sex Appeal:5
    Eris T-Shirt -- R:15 ; SA:7
    Green Jeans -- R:15 ; SA:5
    Hi-Top Sneaks -- R:3 ; SA:2
    Green Rag Back -- R:3 ; SA:2

    Suburban (Open from beginning)
    Key items:
    Bobo Ape T -- R:17 ; SA:13
    Red Bobo T -- R:12 ; SA:12
    Base 5 T -- R:15 ; SA:12
    Suburban T -- R:15 ; SA:10
    Mercury Hood -- R:15 ; SA:10
    Base 5 Hood -- R:20 ; SA:14
    Rockstar Hood -- R:17 ; SA:15
    Prolaps (Open from beginning)
    Key items:
    Track Top -- R:10 ; SA:15
    All Track Shorts -- R:5 ; SA:5
    Sun Glasses -- R:2 ; SA:1
    Mid-Top Sneaker -- R:5 ; SA:3

    ZIP (Open as you enter SF)
    Key items:
    Jean Jacket -- R:10 ; SA:20
    Beige/Olive Khakis -- R:10 ; SA:7
    Black Khakis -- R:8 ; SA:8
    Gray/Red Boots -- R:5 ; SA:5
    Zip Gold Watch -- R:2 ; SA:22
    Black/Brown Shades -- R:2 ; SA:22
    Black Sun Hat -- R:2 ; SA:2

    Victim (Open as you enter LV)
    Key items:
    Hooded Jacket -- R:17 ; SA:15
    Gray Jacket -- R:20 ; SA:25
    Black Jacket -- R:10 ; SA:20
    Bike Jacket -- R:17 ; SA:15
    Sports Jacket -- R:13 ; SA:17
    Gray/Black Pants -- R:8 ; SA:10
    Snakeskin -- R:5 ; SA:5

    Didier Sachs (Open as you re-enter LS)
    All tops sans Letterman Top -- R:22-25 ; SA:25
    All legs  -- R:9-10 ; SA:10
    All shoes -- R:5 ; SA:5
    All chains -- R:2 ; SA:2
    Both watches suck. Ignore them. stick to the Zip Gold.
    All shades -- R:2 ; SA:2
    All hats -- R:2-3 ; SA:2

    Old Reece's Barber Shop in Idlewood
    Key cuts:
    Cornrow -- R:30 ; SA:30
    Flattop -- R:25 ; SA:25

    Playa De Seville Barber
    Key cuts:
    None. Nothing has over 20 R or SA.

    Gay Gordo's in Marina LS, Queens SF, and Redsands LV
    Key cuts:
    Blonde Cornrow -- R:30 ; SA:30
    Detail Cut -- R:25 ; SA:30
    Groove Cut -- R:30 ; SA:30

    Well-Stacked Pizza, Cluckin' Bell, Burger Shot
    Cheap meal is 1% fat, second is 2%, third is 3%, salad is 0% fat. Read
    above for the effects of fat.

    Tattoo Shops in Idlewood LS, Willowfield LS, Queens SF, and Redsands LV
    All tats are R:2-3 S:2-3, except the chest Bullet, which is S:1.   

    G. Safe House Info (555XIg)

    I need someone to send me the full Desert and LV property list, unless
    everyone just wants to wait until I get there, but I doubt that.

    All safe houses are located on your in game map.

    Los Santos Property
    Ganton (CJ's House) - Price: Free - Garage: Two - Spray tag rewards spawn
    here as well as a camera and a can of spray paint.

    Willowfield - Price: $10,000 - Garage: None

    El Corona - Price: $10,000 - Garage: Two

    Jefferson - Price: $10,000 - Garage: None
    Marina - Price: $10,000 - Garage: None

    Santa Maria Beach - Price: $30,000 - Garage: Four (sort of -- it will fit
    four bikes, but not cars. Thanks Tim.)

    Vinewood - Price: $120,000 - Garage: Two (Near Madd Dogg's mansion)

    Mulholland - Price: Free - Garage: None (Obtained when you return to Los
    Santos near the end of the game)

    Badlands Property
    Palomino Creek - Price: $35,000 - Garage: Two

    Blueberry - Price: $10,000 - Garage: None

    Dillimore - Price: $40,000 - Garage: Two

    Shady Creeks (Southwest of The Farm) - Price: $100,000 - Garage: None
    It's a huge ass farm, and I've seen no decent vehicle spawns or even a 
    garage. You get a Sanchez and a pick-up truck, as well as some farm 
    equipment. Ooh ahh.

    Angel Pine - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None

    San Fierro Property
    Doherty Garage -- Price: Free - Garage: Four - You start with this garage.
    Snapshot rewards spawn here.

    Doherty - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None

    Hashbury - Price: $40,000 - Garage: Four

    Queens - Price: $50,000 - Garage: None
    Palisades - Price: $20,000 - Garage: Two

    Chinatown - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None
    Financial Hotel - Price: $100,000 - Garage: Two

    Zero RC - Price: $30,000 - Garage: None - Becomes a save point and asset
    after you complete his three missions.

    Wang Cars - Price: $50,000 - Garage: None - Becomes an asset after you
    complete Cesar's strands of missions here. Must complete Driving School and
    Yay Ka-Boom Boom to purchase.

    Thanks to John Sovinsky for prices and info for Badlands and SF.

    The Desert Property
    Tierra Robada - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None
    El Quebrasos - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None

    Verdant Meadows - Price: $80,000 - Garage: Four + an aircraft storage
    hangar - Becomes an asset after you complete the airstrip missions.

    Bone County - Price: $30,000 - Garage: Two

    Las Venturas Property
    I haven't gotten this far yet.

    Redsands West - Price: $30,000 - Garage: Two

    Pirates in Men's Pants - Price: $6000 - Garage: None

    The Camel's Toe - Price: $6000 - Garage: None

    The Four Dragons Casino - Price: Free - Garage: None

    The Clown's Pocket - Price: $6000 - Garage: None

    Prickle Pine - Price: $50,000 - Garage: Four

    Old Venturas Strip - Price: $6000 - Garage: None

    Rockshore West - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None

    Creek - Price: $10,000 - Garage: None

    White Wood Estates - Price: $20,000 - Garage: Two

If I have any bad info, let me know at the above contact. for a map.

    H. Car Mods Info (555XIh)

    Transfenders - Temple, Los Santos; Doherty, SF; Come-a-Lot, LV

    Opens upon completion of "Cesar Vialpando". Transfenders works on 65
    different types of cars, so just keep checking cars to see what it will or
    won't accept. These are the simplest of shops that only have basic
    upgrades, but working on nearly all cars is a great plus.

    All upgrades are strictly visual except Bass Boost, Nitrous, and
    Hydraulics. This is all pretty self-explanatory.

    Loco Low Co. - Willowfield, LS

    Opens upon completion of "Cesar Vialpando". Has tons of upgrades, but only
    for lowriders. Check the Lowrider section of the Vehicle info for more
    information on what cars constitute as lowriders.

    Wheel Arch Angels - Ocean Flats, SF

    Opens upon completion of Zeroing In, a mission for Cesar once the Desert is
    opened up This place makes a few select cars into massive rice rockets. The
    only serviceable cars are Uranus, Sultan, Elegy, Stratum, Jester, and 
    Flash. You can get some very cool paint jobs and upgrades, including
    hydraulics and of course, NOS.

    I. Girlfriend Info (555XIi)

    Shamelessly stolen from the SA Forums. <3 you guys.

    There are a total of six girls to take out. Your sex appeal for each girl
    goes about 60% clothes/tats and 40% car. Be sure to pimp yourself out
    before showing these gals a good time!

    1. Denise Robinson - Get from "Burning Desire" mission in Los Santos. Time
       available - 16:00 to 06:00
    2. Katie Zhan - The Avispa Country Club in San Fierro, practicing T'ai Chi
       at the edge of the golf course. Time available - 12:00 to 00:00
    3. Helena Wankstein - Blueberry, Red County, practicing shooting on top of
       the Ammunation. Time available - 08:00 to 12:00 and 14:00 to 02:00
    4. Michelle Cannes - San Fierro Driving School. Time available - 00:01 to
    5. Barbara Schternvart - El Quebrados, The Sheriff's Parking Lot. Time
       available - 16:00 to 06:00
    6. Millie Perkins - Get from "Key to her Heart" mission in Las Venturas.
       Time available - 02:00 to 10:00 and 14:00 to 18:00

    Each woman likes a different appearance of your character (although Denise
    does not, since you rescued her from a burning building and she's pretty
    much a crack whore).

    Katie Likes: Muscles.
    Helena Likes: Average. 15 - 25% muscle, 0 - 5% fat.
    Michelle Likes: Guys with some handles. 20 - 40% muscle, 20 - 50% fat.
    Barbara Likes: Fatties. 10 - 15% muscle, 60 - 100% fat.
    Millie Likes: Fast cars and double-sided dildos.

    Now, showing up to a girl's house in a nice ride makes all the difference. 
    "Modding" your ride does not up your increase your sex appeal for that  
    date. Try and find some pretty fly rides (the more expensive, the better;
    you can check prices at the import/export lot to see which ones are go to
    the high end of things) and show up to the chick's house with them

    Remember to take them to places only when you see the "So-and-so likes the
    look of this place" appear on your screen. A perfect date will net you
    another +5% with the girl.

    As for giving them gifts, just target them and press L1 with either flowers
    or the dildo equipped. This raises your percentage with the girl 1 whole
    percent. Press it again to give her a little smooch (and some blue balls)
    for another 1%. Wow.

    As for the rewards, well, I haven't got them all yet, but will soon. 

    Katie is a hospital worker, and thus you can die and retain all of your
    weapons and cash. Barbara is a cop, and does the same for being busted.
    Michelle lets you fix cars at your garage for free. Denise gives you a
    pimp suit. Millie gives you the key for the mission, and Helena just gives
    you sex as far as I know.

    Also, if you drive near another girlfriend with one in your car, you'll
    have three seconds to leave before your girlfriend gets out of the car and
    you take a 10% cut.

Thanks to TheAgent.

on GameFAQs that tells you all about girlfriends.

    J. Gambling Info (555XIj)

    The $ amounts in this section are the increments you can bet, not the whole
    amount. Example being Roulette says $1000 to $1,000,000. You can bet up to
    $999,999,000, if you had that much money. Sorry I didn't specify this at

    Gambling Skill -- This increases by how much you bet. Only betting at
    tables (no ITB) increases gambling skill. You can wager and borrow more
    money the more you bet, but your luck does not increase.

    1% - Gambler Level - $1,000 Max Bet and Borrow
    5% - Professional - $10,000 Max
    10% - Hi-Roller - $100,000 Max 
    100% - Whale - $1,000,000 Max

    Luck -- Luck is increased only by colleting horseshoes and oysters.

    Inside Track Betting -- ITB is the best way to make millions of dollars
    in about an hour of "work". Go in, place a bet of say, $10,000 on the long
    shot horse. Bam, $120,000. Save. Go back, hit $10,000 twelve times to bet
    $120,000. Bam, over a million. Repeat until you don't care anymore.
    Locations in Downtown Los Santos and Montgomery, Red County.

    Pool -- Bet from $1,000 to $100,000. This is an actual skill dependant
    game that is open at nearly all bars in San Andreas. You can play this in
    one player vs. the computer, or vs. a friend in two-player.

    Video Poker -- Some bars, and the LV Casinos have Poker. Bet $50, $100,
    $150, $200, or $250 on a simple game of video poker. Enjoy the pictures
    on the face cards as well, they all reference GTA3 or Vice.

    The following games are available only in the Las Venturas Casinos:

    Blackjack -- $100 to $1,000,000. An age-old card game.

    Slots -- $1, $10, $20, and $50. The epitome of luck gambling.

    Wheel of Fortune -- $100 to $1,000,000. Hit circle to try and stop on the
    star slot. There is no Bankrupt, fortunately.

    Roulette -- $1,000 to $1,000,000. Wait, maybe this is the epitome. Yea,
    it probably is. Guess where the ball will land and bet fortunes on the
    fate of one little white ball.

    K. Tags, Oysters, etc. (555XIk)
    I hate maps. Someone else already made one. Check it out.

    Tags boost respect. Collecting all 100 gives you an AK, a Tec9, a Sawnoff
    shotgun, and molotovs cocktails in the kitchen of your house.

    Tag hunting tips: Keep a map with you and cross them off as you go. Work in
    sections of tags and go on a BMX for mobility and speed. Also, make sure
    you have a lot of spray. If you run out in the middle of a tag, it may 
    glitch and not allow you to ever finish it.

    Snapshots boost nothing. Collecting all 50 gives you a Micro-SMG, Grenades,
    a Shotgun, and a Sniper Rifle outside of your garage. Get a picture guide
    to see what exactly you need. Go at night to see the icons better in the
    sky. You'll need a helicopter for some of them, and one of them is at the
    naval tanker. Save before you go and prepare to die for that >_>

    There's another way to get that snapshot, but I'm not going to spoonfeed it
    to you. Feel free to figure that one out yourself.

    Horseshoes boost luck. Collecting all 50 gives you an M4, an MP5, a Combat
    Shotgun, and Satchel Charges outside The Four Dragons Casino. You need a
    jetpack for Horseshoes. Horseshoes are the easiest collectable as long as
    you know where you're going. It only took me an hour for all of them.

    Oysters boost Lung Capacity and Sex Appeal, but collecting them all is just
    for 100%. Get a Sea Sparrow. Land near the oyster, swim around for it, grab
    it, and fly to the next. I managed all 50 in under two hours with this
    method. It's very safe and time efficient.

    You get small amounts of cash for collecting each one of these, as well as
    $100,000 for all each 100 Tags/50 Oysters/50 Snapshots/50 Horseshoes.

     L. Extras (555XIl)

       1. Unique Jumps (555XIl1)

       There are 70 unique jumps throughout SA. They are not required for 100%
       completion. Each jump is $500, and does not increase. When a map is
       posted online, I'll put it up here. has
       one now. Oh how I love that man.

       2. Two-player Stuff (555XIl2)
       There are two player icons scattered all throughout San Andreas. Hunt
       them down! I don't make maps, so I really can't help you. They are
       bright pink and have pictures of two people on them. Two-player mode has
       two types, rampage and free roam, and each icon has a different property
       to it. Happy hunting.

       Oh wait, here we go: put one up.
       3. Arcade Games (555XIl3)

       There are four arcade games that are found in bars and in CJ's first
       safe house. They are all plays on old school arcade games. They have
       no bearing on anything else in the game, and just kill time for when
       you're really bored. They are Duality, Go Go Space Monkey, Let's Get
       Ready to Bumble, and They Come From Uranus.

       4. Beat the Cock (555XIl4)

       These are two triathlon races located on Santa Maria Beach and Fisher's
       Lagoon on weekends only. They are unlocked after you unlock Las 
       Venturas, and span most of the state. They start with a swimming race,
       which leads to a cycling race, and finishes with a sprint. You need high 
       Stamina and Bike skill to pass these races. The reward for each is

       5. Other Not 100% Stuff (555XIl5)

       There are a lot of things you don't need for 100%. The Basketball
       challenge, dancing, and many other things are all pointless and just for
       fun. Refer to the 100% section for details.

     M. Gangs and Turf Wars (555XIm)

     Grove Street Families -- Green, home in Ganton.

     Ballas -- Purple, a big force in all of Los Santos.

     Los Santos Vagos -- Yellow, a lesser Mexican gang of northeast Los Santos.

     Las Aztecas Varrios -- Cyan, another Mexican gang at war with the Vagos.

     San Fierro Rifa -- Blue, a big Mexican gang of Garcia, San Fierro.

     Triads -- Red, the Chinese gang of Chinatown.

     Da Nang Boys -- The Vietnamese gang that controls Easter Basin, SF.

     Mafia -- The Italians that run some casinos in Las Venturas.

     Completing Doberman unlocks the ability to fight for turf.  

     Here's how Turf Wars really work. Start by recruiting a couple of gang
     members and heading into the territory of your choice. Kill a few
     gangsters and watch the turf war start. Here's the difference. Wave one is
     chump change. Pick them off, take the cash and gats, and get ready for
     wave two. Wave two is harder. We've got some AKs, some SMGs, and a few 
     more gang members. Health icons and body armor spawn on the corners of the
     area under attack, and they can and WILL save your ass a few times. Wave
     three is Hell, however. Gangsters attack from all sides with AKs, SMGs, 
     and I've even had a few drive-by me and I had to blow up the car. Once
     wave three is over, OG controls the turf.

     How do you survive this? Hitman status. Do some early gang wars and build
     your pistol, SMG, AK, and maybe Shotgun all up to Hitman. Hitman makes you
     a killing MACHINE. Target, HEADSHOT, target, HEADSHOT. It's the only way
     to take over all of LS, which some people really want to do. 

     What's the point? CJ's house becomes an asset after Doberman. The more
     territories you own, the more you collect. The more territories you own, 
     the less gangsters shoot at you during side missions. The more territories
     you take over/defend, the more respect you have.

     Defend? What? Yea, at random times (also known as "whenever you least need
     it to happen"), any and every one of your territories can come under gang
     attack, unless the territory is surrounded by green, or just not 
     bordering enemy territory. Thus, if you control all of Los Santos, you can
     never come into attack, and you will kick lots of ass. If you want to
     defend against a war, simply drive over,  take out as many as you can in
     car, bail out, and finish the rest on foot. You get some cash and respect
     for doing so, and you keep the territory. Also, since a lot of people have
     sent this in, just saving while your turf  is under attack stops the gang
     war. It's cheap, but nice to know.

     After completion of "Green Sabre", you cannot do turf wars until you
     return to Los Santos far later in the game, at which point you can take
     over all of LS, and the one stray territory that some how ended up at the
     boat school in Bayside Marina.

     N. 100%, The Legacy (555XIn)

     I guarantee that you will get 100% if you do these exactly as I have them
     listed on the checklist. It's very possible to do it other ways, but two
     times through and I have two 100% saves.

     What you need: 
     All 100+ Storyline and Non-Storyline missions
     All Side Missions (BMX Challenge, Chiliad, Couriers, Import/Export,
     Freight Train, Gyms, NRG-500 Challenge, Lowrider, Quarry Missions, place
     first in all street races, get bronze or higher in all four schools,
     complete the Ammunation shooting challenges (4), all four stadium events
     completed, all R3 missions completed)
     All save houses purchased
     All sprays, snapshots, oysters, horseshoes

     What you DO NOT need:
     All territories taken over
     All girlfriends completed
     All stats maxed
     Anything involving two-player
     >>Big Smoke's Couriers<<
     Arcade game Hi-Scores
     Triathlon races completed
     Unique Jumps

     Hydra and Rhino spawn outside CJ's house in Ganton
     Infinite ammo
     Boosts to nearly all stats
     Cars can take twice as much damage
     Check list (final):
     Los Santos + Northern Badlands:
     __ Complete Sweet's 9 missions
     __ Complete Cesar's 1 mission
     __ Complete the Taxi missions (drop off 50 people)
     __ Complete level 12 of the Firefighter missions
     __ Complete level 10 of the Pimpin' missions
     __ Complete level 12 of the Vigilante missions
     __ Complete the BMX challenge
     __ Complete the Los Santos Courier
     __ Complete the Lowrider challenge
     __ Complete 8-Track at Stadium
     __ Defeat the gym leader
     __ Spray 100 Spray Tags
     __ Find 15 Oysters
     __ Buy all safehouses available
     __ Complete Ryder's 3 missions
     __ Complete the Home Invasion mission (steal $10000)
     __ Complete Smoke's 4 missions
     __ Complete OG Loc's 4 missions
     __ Complete Tenpenny's 2 missions
     __ Complete Sweet's last 4 missions
     __ Complete Tenpenny's 1 mission
     __ Complete Catalina's first 2 missions
     __ Complete the Chiliad Challenge
     __ Find 10 Oysters
     __ Complete level 12 of the Paramedic missions
     __ Buy all safehouses available
     __ Complete The Truth's 1 mission
     __ Complete Cesar's 1 "mission"
     __ Complete Catalina's last 6 missions
     __ Complete Cesar's 2 missions
     __ Complete the Truth's 1 mission

     San Fierro:
     __ Complete the 3 missions at the garage
     __ Complete the first 9 Syndicate missions
     __ Complete Woozie's 5 missions
     __ Take 50 Snapshots
     __ Find 9 Oysters
     __ Complete the San Fierro Courier
     __ Complete the NRG-500 challenge
     __ Complete the 12 Driving School challenges
     __ Complete Blood Bowl at the stadium
     __ Complete the 7 levels of the Valet challenge
     __ Defeat the gym leader
     __ Buy all safehouses available
     __ Complete the 3 Zero RC missions
     __ Complete the last Syndicate mission
     The Desert:
     __ Complete Toreno's 4 missions
     __ Complete the 5 Boating School challenges
     __ Complete the Freight Train challenge
     __ Complete the Trucking missions
     __ Complete the 10 Pilot School challenges
     __ Find 9 Oysters
     __ Buy all safehouses available
     __ Complete the 4 Airstrip missions
     __ Complete the 4 Ammunation challenges
     __ Complete Cesar's 4 missions
     __ Complete the 3 Import/Export Garage lists
     __ Complete the 19 street races
     __ Complete the 6 airport checkpoint challenges

     Las Venturas:
     __ Complete Woozie's 3 missions
     __ Complete Dirt Track at the stadium
     __ Complete Kickstart at the stadium
     __ Complete the Las Venturas Courier
     __ Complete the 5 Bike School challenges
     __ Complete the 7 Quarry Missions
     __ Defeat the gym leader
     __ Buy all safehouses available
     __ 50 Horseshoes
     __ 7 final Oysters (at this point, I had 87.17%)
     __ Complete the 1 Truth mission
     __ Complete the 3 Rosenburg missions
     __ Complete the 2 Tenpenny missions
     __ Complete the 1 Madd Dogg mission
     __ Complete the 6 Heist missions

     Los Santos II:
     __ Complete the 1 Opening mission
     __ Complete the 3 CJ's Mansion missions
     __ Complete the 2 Sweet missions
     __ Complete the 3 Riot missions

XII. Vehicle Info (555XII)

A. SUVs and Station Wagons (555XIIa)

   Huntley -- A four-door luxury SUV (Land Rover).

   Landstalker -- The same SUV from GTA3 and Vice that rolls with a gust of
   wind, or maybe if you hit a squirrel. It's a Ford Explorer.

   Perennial -- The same wagon from GTA3 and Vice that rides at the speed of

   Rancher -- A nice two-door SUV that's a step up from the Landstalker. Late
   70s to early mid 80s Chevy Blazer K-5.

   Regina -- A Perennial look-alike. A Chevrolet Impala Wagon. Thanks to
   Francis Scott-Viola.

   Romero -- A black hearse. There's one parked in Angel Pines.

   Solair -- A sportier station wagon found all over San Andreas. It's a
   Mercury Sable Station Wagon. Thanks to metalangel.

B. 2-Door Sedans (555XIIb)

   Alpha -- A simple two-door sedan with an rounded front end. A Dodge 
   Stealth/Mitsubishi 3000GT.

   Blista Compact -- A Honda CRX look-alike.
   Bravura -- A simple two-door sedan with a pointed front end. A Pontiac Grand

   Buccaneer -- An Esperanto look-alike. A 1971-73 Chevrolet Monte Carlo.
   Thanks to shortcdn.

   Cadrona -- A faster version of the Bravura. 1991 Chevy Cavalier Z-24. Thanks
   to Francis Santos-Viola.

   Club -- Late 80s or early 90s VW Rabbit, now called a Golf.

   Esperanto -- The same lowriding Caddy from GTA3 and Vice.

   Euros -- A sporty sedan with a rounded front end. A 90-96 Nissan 300zx.

   Feltzer -- A convertible that rides just off the ground. A Mercedes SL

   Fortune -- The simplest of all sedans. Plain in every way. An older Ford

   Hermes -- It looks like a PT Cruiser, if you need a reference from today.
   It's a '49 Mercury.

   Hustler -- A 1935 Ford Coupe. Thanks to Dan B.

   Majestic -- An Esperanto that rides higher. It's an '80's Buick Regal.
   Thanks to JJ.

   Manana -- A sedan that looks and feels like it was made of cardboard. A
   Dodge Aries. Thanks to Mamoru Chiba.

   Picador -- Another Esperanto look-alike. It's a '64 Ford Ranchero, not an El
   Camino. Stop sending me "fixes".

   Previon -- A sedan with a station wagon-style back end. A Honda Prelude.

   Stafford -- A nice Manana with an elongated front end and a front grill.
   It looks like a Bentley. 1997-2005 or so Bentley, square front grill, boxy
   body, appears in Las Venturas off the strip near your girlfriend's house.

   Stallion -- A simple convertible sedan with weak handling. It's a 1971 or
   so Ford Mustang with a Mach 1 type hood. Thanks to Mamoru Chiba.

   Tampa -- A beat-up Bravura look-alike. It's a 1965-1969 Chevy Corvairs.
   Thanks to Andy P.

   Virgo -- A Stafford with a different front grill and a vinyl back window.
   It's a 1973 Lincoln Continental.

C. 4-Door Luxury Sedans (555XIIc)

   Admiral -- A very pricey sedan that looks less ritzy than it really is.
   Looks like a diesel Mercedes from the early to mid 90s.

   Elegant -- A plane four-door sedan. A Ford Crown Victoria. Thanks to

   Emperor -- A very nice looking Elegant that handles just the same. It's a
   '90-'93 Infiniti Q45 (thanks to JJ).

   Glendale -- A simple vintage Chevy.

   Greenwood -- The most basic, horribly handling sedan you can find. It's a
   Dodge Diplomat. Thanks to Maikeru.

   Intruder -- A sedan with an angled front end.

   Merit -- A simple sedan that looks like an Intruder. A '91 Acura Legend.
   Thanks to Maikeru.

   Nebula -- An 1991 Lincoln Continental that looks just like an Intruder.

   Oceanic -- An old 50's Plymouth Belvedere. Thanks to Maikeru.

   Premier -- A Chevrolet Caprice.
   Primo -- This also looks like an Intruder with a more rounded front. It's a
   Buick Century.

   Sentinel -- The basic sedan from GTA3 and Vice that handles well and looks
   nice on the road. A 5 series BMW.

   Stretch -- It's a limo.

   Sunrise -- A lesser version of the Emperor that just doesn't handle quite
   as well. 1988-1990 Acura Legend. Thanks to Mamoru Chiba.

   Tahoma -- A fast accelerating sedan with a pointed front grill.

   Vincent -- A plain sedan with a square front end. A 7 series BMW.

   Washington -- A Vincent with a hood ornament to separate it from the rest.

   Willard -- A really dumbed down Sunrise. Has no rims on the tires.

D. Muscle Cars (555XIId)

   Buffalo -- The powerful sports car that Catalina drives. Mid-80s Chevy
   Camaro IROC with no IROC decals, but with dual hood scoops.

   Clover -- A more off-road, low riding muscle car that can really fly. It's
   a 1968 Ford Torino. Thanks to Dan B.

   Phoenix -- A nice looking Pontiac Firebird that can haul ass.

   Sabre -- A standard looking muscle car found all throughout San Andreas.
   1968 Oldsmobile Cutlass 442. Thanks to Momoru Chiba.

E. Street Racers (555XIIe)

   Elegy -- Has low side skirts and a sleek design. An R32 Nissan Skyline.
   Flash -- Higher side skirts and a flashier looking hood. It's a Nissan
   Pulsar (Sunny/Prince) GTi-R. Thanks to Some One.

   Jester -- Same as the Elegy but it's a smaller car with a longer hood. It's 
   a Toyota Supra Turbo.

   Stratum -- A street racing station wagon. An Audi S4. Thanks to metalangel.

   Sultan -- A Flash with a different hood and no side skirts. It's a Subaru
   Impreza WRX STi.

   Uranus -- A lesser version of the Jester. A 89-94 Nissan 240sx S13

F. High Performance Vehicles (555XIIf)

   Banshee -- A sleek convertible. One of the best in the game. It's a Dodge
   Viper RT/10.

   Bullet -- A Banshee without the convertible. Your reward for all silver in
   driving school. It's a Ford GT40. There. I fixed it. Leave me alone.

   Cheetah -- A low-riding, fast as hell Ferrari 512 Testarossa.

   Comet -- A 1976 Porsche 911 Targa sports car.

   Hotknife -- Your reward for gold in driving school. An insanely awesome
   roadster with amazing speed.

   Hotring Racer -- This stock car is your reward for completing 8-Track.

   Infernus -- No longer than Lamborghini it was in GTA3, but obvious by it's
   style and spoiler. Steal one once and you'll know it forever. A 1995-2005
   Acura NSX.

   Super GT - Your reward for all bronze in driving school. A road racer with
   a gigantic spoiler. A Toyota MR2 Turbo. Thanksto Clauto for the fix.

   Turismo -- A much lower version of the Infernus. Ferrari F40.

   Windsor -- It's luxurious, sporty, and powerful. It's a Jaguar E-Type.
   Thanks to M G Brant.

   ZR-350 -- A '92 Pontiac Firebird/Trans-Am with an RX-7 spoiler found all 
   over San Andreas. Thanks to dvlzarchangl.

G. Heavy Trucks and Utility (555XIIg)

   Benson -- A pickup with an overhanging camper. A GMC U-Haul-style truck.

   Boxville -- A really boxy van.

   Black Boxville -- A black Boxville that starts Home Invasions.

   Cement Truck -- It's a cement truck.

   Combine Harvester -- Farm equipment gone wild.

   DFT-30 -- A flatbed truck with an Isuzu or Mitsubishi-Fuso style truck cab.

   Dozer -- A bulldozer. Control the front with the right analog stick.

   Dumper -- A dump truck. Control the lift with the right analog stick.

   Dune -- An off-road transport truck that you get for completing Kick Start.
   Flatbed -- A large Flatbed truck found in construction areas.

   Hotdog -- Alex's Hotdog vans.

   Linerunner -- The smallest of the truck cabs.

   Mr. Whoopee -- The ice cream truck. Press L3 to hear the jingle.

   Mule -- A larger version of the Benson.

   Packer -- A portable ramp, great for motorcycle jumps. Use R3 to lift the
   ramp up and down and transport cars.

   Roadtrain -- The biggest of the truck cabs. This is HUGE.

   Tanker -- The cab that hauls tankers for the RS Haul missions.

   Tractor -- A riding tractor.

   Yankee -- The simple hauling truck from GTA3 and Vice.

H. Light Trucks and Vans (555XIIh)

   Berkley's RC Van -- The vans that Zero wants you to destroy.

   Bobcat -- A simple pickup with Bobcat written on the back. It's an 80's Ford
   Ranger. Thanks to Forelli_Boy.

   Burrito -- A simple gangster van with no windows.

   Forklift -- Use the right analog stick to control the lift.

   Moonbeam -- The stupid soccer mom van with windows on all sides. It's a 
   Chevy Astro. Thanks Craig C.

   Mower -- A riding lawn mower.

   Newsvan -- A Pony with a satellite dish on it.

   Pony -- A simple van with one window on each side.

   Rumpo -- A slightly smaller version of the Pony.

   Sadler -- Another simple two-door pickup.

   Tug -- An airplane tugger found near and on airport fields.

   Walton -- A pickup with a wooden fence in the back. A 1958 Chevy pickup.
   Thanks to Dan B.

   Yosemite -- A much bigger version of the Sadler with more power. A Chevy
   Full-size dually pickup.

I. Lowriders (555XIIi)

    Blade -- There are rarely hydraulics on this simple lowrider. Oldsmobile
    Cutlass convertible.

    Broadway -- A very stylish pimpmobile. Hit R3 to start pimping missions.
    It's a 1953 Buick convertible. Thanks to Dan B.

    Remington -- A boxy Cadillac lowrider.

    Savanna -- A four-door convertible lowrider. A 70s Chevy Impala.

    Slamvan -- A very sleek and fast lowrider.

    Tornado -- A tricked out 50s Chevy with hydraulics.

    Voodoo -- The most simple lowrider. Usually comes with the works and found
    in bright red. It's a 1960 Chevy Impala. Thanks to Dan B.

J. Recreational (555XIIj)

    Bandito -- A custom-made dune buggy.

    BF Injection -- A nice dune buggy with a roll cage and four wheel drive.
    Modeled off of an old VW Beetle. Thanks to Maikeru.

    Bloodring Banger -- A demolition derby lowrider that you get for completing
    the Blood Bowl.

    Caddy -- A golfcart.

    Camper -- A Volkswagen Combi Van.

    Journey -- A big RV found out in the countryside. It's a Winnebago.

    Kart -- A crazy go cart found in some racing missions.

    Mesa -- An off-road jeep. It's a Jeep Wrangler.

    Monster -- A monster truck that you get for completing 8-track.

    Patriot -- An off-road military Hummer.

    Quad -- An ATV that handles like crap on the roads. Keep it in the dirt.
    There's one on a farm in Blueberry Hills.

    Sandking -- An SUV tricked out with huge tires.

    Vortex -- A hovercraft vehicle that can go on land or sea.

K. Bikes and Motorcycles (555XIIk)

    Bike -- A simple lowrider bike. Based on the '91 Toys 'R Us Special Edition
    Two-Wheel Delux Fantastic with Optional Side Pegs and autographed sound
    bell. Thanks to someone that knows way too much about things that really
    don't concern GTA:SA but I love you anyway.

    BMX -- A BMX bike. 

    Mountain Bike -- A bike that handles far better off road than on.

    BF-400 -- A crotch-rocket with amazing wheelie capabilities.

    Faggio -- A simple motor scooter. It's a Vespa Piaggio. (Fah-jee-oh)

    FCR-900 -- Get all silver at Bike school to get this. Faster than the
    BF-400 and PCJ, but still no match for the NRG.

    Freeway -- Your reward for all bronze at Bike school. A Harley hog.

    NRG-500 -- Get all gold at bike school for this. The fastest bike in the
    land by far. There's one on top of the parking garage near the LS Stadium.

    PCJ-600 -- A sport bike that was great back in the 80s.

    Pizzaboy -- The Well Stacked Co.'s delivery scooter. No pizza missions in
    San Andreas though.

    Sanchez -- The off-road dirty Sanchez is back.

    Wayfarer -- A laid back cruising road bike. It's a Honda Goldwing. Thanks
    to Maikeru.

L. Civil Service and Transport (555XIIl)
     Baggage -- Found in airports. A baggage handler.

     Brown Streak -- The Brown Streak freight train. Hit R3 for Freight
     missions. It's an FP-40 locomotive. Thanks to metalangel.

     Bus -- Your personal gang transportation system.

     Coach -- The same as a Bus. Really, there's like no difference.
     Freight -- A freight train. Hit R3 for Freight missions. It's an SD-40
     locomotive. Thanks to metalangel.

     Securicar -- A durable security car for transporting bank money.

     Sweeper -- A little baby street sweeper.    

     Towtruck -- Use the right analog stick to tow vehicles around.

     Trashmaster -- The trash van is back, too.

     Utility Van -- It's a PG&E utility truck. Not a van.

M. R3 Vehicles (555XIIm)

     Ambulance -- Starts paramedic missions.

     Barracks -- An army flatbed. Starts Vigilante.

     Cabbie -- An old taxi cab, modeled after the '57 Chevy Bel Aire. Thanks to
     Maikeru. Starts the Taxi missions.

     Enforcer -- The SWAT truck. Starts Vigilante. Free armor for entering.

     FBI Rancher -- The FBI's version of the Rancher. Starts Vigilante.

     FBI Truck -- An off-road FBI vehicle. Starts Vigilante. Only seen in End
     of the Line.

     Firetruck -- Starts Firefighter.
     Edit: There's also a small firetruck parked in Doherty. This is a special
     firetruck that does NOT start Firefighter.

     HPV1000 -- The police motorcycle. Starts Vigilante.

     Police -- Starts Vigilante. Five free shotgun rounds for entering.

     Ranger -- A police SUV found outside of towns. Starts Vigilante.

     Rhino -- Everyone's favorite tank. Right control stick controls the
     turret, O fires, R3 starts Vigilante. It's an M1A1 Abrams. My dad builds
     these things for a living. Woo.

     SWAT -- A crowd control SWAT vehicle. Only seen in End of the Line.

     Taxi -- A taxi version of the Ford Crown Victoria. Thanks to Maikeru.
     Starts the Taxi missions.

N. Airplanes (555XIIn)

     AT-400 -- A passenger jet liner. Yes, you can steal it. It's a Boeing 737.

     Beagle -- A light dual prop plane. Great for travel. It's a J-3 club.

     Cropduster -- A cropdusting biplane. There's one out in Bone County north
     of the large Quarry. It's a Grumman G-164 Ag-Cat. Thanks to kaneda.

     Dodo -- The stupid two-winged plane is back and just as horrid as ever.
     There's an open one in the LS airport. A single engine Cessna 150. Thanks
     to kaneda.

     Hydra -- Oh no I missed one vehicle out of 200, everyone send me e-mails 
     complaining. A special military plane that you get as a reward for doing
     some missions at Verdant Meadows. It's am AV-8B Harrier II. Thanks to

     Nevada -- An old dual-prop passenger plane. It's a Douglas DC-3. Thanks to

     Rustler -- A WWII fighter plane. All bronze in flight school gives you
     this as a reward. A P-40 Warhawk. Thanks to kaneda.

     Shamal -- A private jet. There's an unlocked one at the LS airport. It's
     a Bombardier Learjet 40. Thanks to kaneda.

     Skimmer -- The stupid sea plane from Vice is back, but now it can land
     on land or water. It's a Havilland Beaveer.

     Stuntplane -- A single-prop biplane. All silver in flight school unlocks
     this plane. Also used in race tournaments. It's a Pitts Special. Thanks to

O. Helicopters (555XIIo)
     Cargobob -- A transport helicopter that looks like military. It's a
     Mil Mi-17. Thanks to kaneda.

     Hunter -- The real military helicopter. R3 starts Vigilante (Brown
     Thunder). This is the ultimate crime fighter. All gold in pilot school
     gives this as your reward. An AH-64A Apache.

     Leviathan -- Appears in Verdant Meadows after Up, Up, and Away. Sadly,
     there is no magnet. It's an SH-3 Sea King. Thanks to Gene Morrow.

     Maverick -- A plane old simple helicopter. It's a Bell 206B2 JetRanger.
     (Thanks again Alex B.)

     Raindance -- A big helicopter with no real interests. It's a UH-60 Black
     Hawk (Thanks Alex B.)

     Sea Sparrow -- A helicopter that can land on water. Hit L1 for machine
     guns. Very nice. It's a Bell H-13, but with water pontoons.

     Sparrow -- A simple helicopter with a bubble cockpit. It's a Bell H-13.

P. Boats (555XIIp)

     Coastguard -- A plain coast guard boat.

     Dingy -- A James Bond style inflatable raft.

     Jetmax -- A sleek speed boat. Get all gold at boat school for this.

     Launch -- An attack boat. Spiffy.

     Marquis -- A nice looking recreational boat. All bronze at boat school
     nabs you one of these.

     Predator -- The police boat, so you aren't safe at sea. Hit L1 for machine
     gun fire.

     Reefer -- A lame fishing boat.

     Speeder -- The second fastest boat in the sea. Very sleek and cool.

     Squallo -- A tenth of a step down from the Speeder is the Squallo. Almost
     as good, and it's your reward for all silver in boat school.

     Tropic -- A simple recreational boat.

Q. RC Cars (555XIIq)

     RC Bandit -- A remote controlled race car.

     RC Baron -- A remote controlled biplane.

     RC Goblin -- A remote controlled helicopter.

     RC Tiger -- A remote controlled tank.

There are nearly 200 vehicles in GTA:SA. Have fun. More in-depth info on some
cars by Johnny Wales, Jon Palazzo, L. Faustini, Smartbomb, Raymond Shao, Rick
Miller, and KKgrandi, since I really don't care about this section of the
guide. If you want better info, feel free to send it in. I am most certainly
not a car connoiseur, nor do I care how that's even spelled.

XIII. Extraneous Crap (555XIII)

Note: I cannot fix glitches. These are just ways to do them or perhaps says
to avoid them. Glitches sent in must be something I can recreate, not a random
happening that you can't do yourself more than once. I check every glitch
before it is added to avoid problems.

    A. Glitches (555XIIIa)

    HOLY CRAP EXTRA TERRITORIES GALORE -- This was discovered on a few GTA
    forums and has been perfected by tons of people. It was originally
    discovered by accident, but it works consistently now.

    Take a boat or plane and head the southwest or southeast corner of the map.
    Tape the X button down and keep going for as long as you want. Thirty
    minutes is usually sufficient. Drown yourself or head back if you want.
    When you respawn, you should have territories in the Badlands, SF, the
    Desert, and one HUGE territory in LV. All these territories are able to be
    taken over if you can find the gang members, and are taken in one wave. The
    problem with this is that having GSF members everywhere means that everyone
    has a GSF car...which aren't fun to drive at all.

    Beagle Boom by Neil H. -- Plane glitch: In Fort Carson there's building
    with a dirt lot next to it and two American flags hanging from it, near the
    east junction by the 'U' shaped road in the southeast of the town. For some
    reason, a Beagle plane occasionally spawns in the yard; if you look at it,
    the left wing is wedged inside the building's porch and the right is 
    between a palm tree and a telegraph pole. It you get in, it explodes almost
    the minute you turn the engines on and there's nowhere for it to take off
    anyway. My guess is a different vehicle was supposed to spawn there. The 
    plane doesn't spawn a fair bit of the time, it's there about as often as 
    the Cropduster north of the Quarry is.
    Bike Fun by Zeiram W. --  Take a BMX/Mountain Bike (the Bike doesn't seem
    to work) and hit square, then while holding square down, very rapidly tap X
    and voila, CJ will do something very weird, he will strech underground and 
    if you release square (and from now on just hold X down) you'll notice a
    bit of ragdoll physics, but not for long.

    Blue Hell Strikes Back from hfetus -- Yes, blue hell is back again! It's
    harder to do this though than in the previous games. Usually, you need to
    fool around near steep slopes (like those in the dried up dam areas),
    jumping around to trigger it. It can occur in other places, though. For
    example, I was once running from the cops in Los Santos with a 2-star
    wanted level, and I was fleeing back to my house to save and dump it. I
    tried turning a corner hard in order to mess up the chasing cars. Well, I
    ended up going through the wall on my right! As always, you fall through a 
    blue void into nothingness and eventually respawn on the map.

    Bulletproof/Otherproof Vehicles by MrHurucles -- The two Tahomas in the
    first part of House Party are flameproof and bulletproof. Cesar's car in
    High Stakes, Lowrider is everythingproof. The forklift in Robbing Uncle Sam
    is bulletproof. More coming.

    Driving School Glitch by Zack Scott -- This glitch works by going to the
    Driving School in San Fierro during the time that the girlfriend who likes
    fat people is in there (I think morning time). Once you've verified that 
    she's there, pay attention to who's she's chatting with. Next, go out the 
    back door and quickly jump onto the roof. Go towards the front of the 
    building and then face the back. In a few moments, the person that she was
    talking to will fall from the sky and splat on the roof! This scared the 
    crap out of me the first time it happened, and I initially thought it was 
    generated by random chance, but it works every time the girlfriend is in 
    there chatting with someone.

    Ghost Car Glitch by Stan Gunn -- As a result of damage from numerous
    crashes, my car blew up as I crossed the finish line in the "Wu Zi Mu"
    mission race. The screen went black and the drive made loading noises for 
    what seemed like minutes. When it finally loaded, I was alive and the game
    indicated that I had completed the mission but there was no car to be seen.
    Instead, there was a bit of empty air with steam rising from it -- much
    like you'd see coming out of the hood of a moderately damaged vehicle. I
    tried to enter the invisible vehicle but there was nothing to enter. Then I 
    armed my baseball bat and started swinging at the air. When I hit a certain
    spot (that seemed to move) I could hear the sound of metal being bashed. 
    After a few seconds of this a broken windshield dropped out of the air.
    Firing into the empty space with a gun had no effect and I was never able 
    to do enough damage to cause any other effects.

    There are other instances of ghost cars in the Badlands, such as a car that
    can drive through trees with tons of damage, and if you steal it, you
    cannot repair it. This is the closest to paranormal you'll find in SA.

    Gang Fun by hamradio -- Get any number of gang members up to the amount you
    can (Tested with 1 and 3, so I am assuming any number that you can), and
    get them to follow you to a safe house. Go inside the safe house then press
    up to tell them to follow you. Now move over to the save thing and hit 
    cancel when it pops up. Now, you should see them in your safe house but
    frozen and you can walk through them and they still talk to you.

    General Store by knacklethrasher -- Turn into the parking lot of a general 
    store in Las Venturas and your front wheels go into the ground. To do this,
    you need to drive towards the door of the general store, and it happens 
    where the sidewalk meets the parking lot. 

    Girls Suck -- It's common knowledge that many girlfriends aren't home for
    some reasons. Try saving, loading, etc, or change your outfit and possibly
    body style. Maybe try going fat for a while. Sometimes, the most fickle of
    things can fix the glitch.

    Gym Glitch -- The infamous gym glitch is simply that it says that you
    cannot work out, even though you haven't done any work that day. There are
    a few fixes. The first is to save the game into an unused slot, load that,
    save it to slot 1, and then reload slot 1. The trick I used was to remove
    all clothes on CJ and try working out. When that failed, I put his clothes
    back on, and I could work out again.

    Headless CJ -- This has been submitted by quite a few people. In two-player
    mode, cut off CJ's head with a Katana, then kill player two to return to
    single player. CJ will still have no head until you load a save or get

    Mad Madd Dogg -- In the mission, Madd Dogg, he jumps with no warning and
    you have no time to catch him. There is no known fix for this.

    Mega Hops -- On a bike, hold L1 for a bunnyhop. Right as you release, hit
    circle to go sky high. It takes some pratice, but it's awesome.

    ReverendTed's Missile Glitch -- All missiles fly backwards in this game.
    Kind of a weird thing to notice.

    The Bus Error Returns...Again by Glitch Master -- Continued from the 
    previous two games (GTA3 and Vice City) the Bus is still treated as an 
    emergency vehicle when taken to a Pay 'N' Spray. When you attempt to spray
    a Bus, for some reason the game apparently thinks it's an emergency 
    vehicle, and the message says: "Whoa, I'm not touching anything that hot!" 
    or something like that. This is the same message seen when you attempt to
    spray military/police vehicles, ambulances, and fire trucks. Obviously, a 
    Bus shouldn't classify as a vehicle of this nature. This does not happen 
    when you try to spray a Coach. 
    This Song Sucks by Shigmiya64 -- You can skip songs on the radio. Change to
    it was playing.

    Walking Under Water by many people -- In a 2-player free roam, get in a
    Sea Sparrow or Skimmer. When the second player tries to get in, he will be
    stuck under water, but will have no breath meter and can walk around.

    Where My Tags at? -- If you start spraying a tag and run out of paint after
    being like 90% done with it, you cannot get credit for it. Ever. Ouch.

    Unlimited Ammo by multiple people -- Start the Ammunation Challenge and
    then leave, and it should add 100-1000 ammo for all weapons besides the
    heavy weapons (RPGs, miniguns, etc). Getting your ammo over 9999 locks it
    at that amount and it won't go down.

    Have a glitch? Send it in with GLITCH in the topic header. If your e-mail
    does not have GLITCH in the title, and you want to submit one, it will be
    disregarded and you can try again.

    B. Easter Eggs (555XIIIb)

***Where does the name Easter Egg come from?***
This is mainly for some of the foreign e-mailers that don't understand why 
Easter Eggs are titled as such. In America, and probably elsewhere, it's 
customary for little children to hunt decorated eggs that their friends or 
family members have hidden in backyards or playgrounds, or wherever. The eggs
are pointless and really serve no purpose. An Easter Egg in a video game is a
humorous, yet pointless hidden thing in the game.

    Before You Die by Jordan -- In Idlewood, near the two-player freeroam icon 
    is, go behind it and take a right, and you'll see a fenced in area with the
    well in the movie The Ring.

    Best Egg Ever by Ryan Lewis -- In San Fierro south of the Gant Bridge,
    there is a resturant, and west of it there is a sign that says:

    Length - 150.7 m
    Height - 60.3 m above sea level
    16000 polygons Inc LOOs
    600 m draw distance
    11 textures
    Takes up a staggering 1.27 MB of disk space

    I've seen it before, but I was waiting for someone to submit it again. It's
    truly the best egg in any of the GTA games.

    Bigfoot/Leatherface -- Wait, these don't exist. Stop asking me about them.
    No seriously, they do not ****ing exist. I know the guy that made the first
    Bigfoot photoshop.

    Bodies in the Sand by Bob Mujis -- Just a little North of the NO FLY ZONE,
    at the road entrance near some rocks, you can find a hole with six bodies
    inside. You can find pictures of the map and the bodies at:

    Broken Bridge by Max S. -- The bridge above Grove Street has broken railing
    because of the cutscene that happens at the end of the game.

    Buffy the Gangsta Slayer -- If you look in the Crypt in the Los Santos
    Graveyard (Where CJ's mother is buried), you'll see a TV, Laz-e-Boy and
    pizza boxes--a reference to Spike in Buffy The Vampire Slayer, who has a
    similar setup.

    Burnin' Alive by Matt James -- Go into the Well Stacked Pizza nearest to
    your first hideout in Los Santos and go through the steel door to the left,
    and then through the one to your right. Whip out a sniper rifle and look 
    closely at the red fire blanket holders on the wall opposite the cashiers.
    One picture is normal, of a woman putting the blanket on a fiery oven, but
    the second is a dead body rolled up in the blanket.

    Don't Jump by Barry McWilliams -- Near the Vank Hoff Hotel, there's a small
    sign that says NO BASE JUMPING. BASE jumping is freefalling off a very tall
    building with a parachute, which is ironic, since there's an entrance to
    the top of the hotel to jump off of.
    Fast Food Fun by Woo' Tang Clan -- Go to any food restaraunt and start
    killing people. Run behind the counter and give them time to respawn. When
    they come back, kill them again. As you rack up wanted levels, the
    customers will respawn as cops that can't attack you. Kill them for as long
    as you want -- they'll never fight back. This is an excellent way to raise
    your criminal ranking.

    Gant Surprise -- At the top of the Gant bridge is a sign that says, there
    are no Easter Eggs up here. Go away. Submitted by many people.

    Girls from the Past by Sean M. -- If you date Barbara the cop or Katie the
    nurse, and restart the game, the game will act as if you are dating them.
    This is an awesome glitch, but I am unsure of the reprecussions.
    Glory Hole by Glitch Master -- Yes, there is a hole in the game, unless my
    disc is defective in this area. I'm actually surprised that nobody else has
    found this yet, and that might actually be the case. Anyway... 

    In Los Santos, on the right edge of the district East Los Santos, one block
    to the left (parallel street to the left) of the last street within that 
    district on the map you will find the hole. At the top right corner of this
    street there is a hole in a wall and a single non-solid plane for a sort of
    floor. There are no polygons for walls or ceiling, and again, the "floor"
    is not solid. This is right out in the open, right off the edge of the 
    street, and was probably intended to be a sort of cut out building 
    entrance. If you walk into it, you will fall into the abyss below, and, of 
    course, reappear on the street moments later. I entered this area with a 
    Jetpack, and explored a bit under that part of the city. Right near the 
    "hole", there is a floating arrow indicating an entrance to some building.
    This is under the solid ground, floating in nothingness, and is in no way 
    accessible. I imagine that they were in such haste to release the game that
    they forgot to finish this small area. It probably was a hole in a building 
    that gave access to a hallway that led to a door where this entrance would
    have been. (East Los Santos is the top right corner of the Ballas' purple
    territory, where it meets a yellow territory, if you haven't influenced 
    these yet.) There is no indication of any sort of shop or misc. building 
    anywhere on either the game or illustrated maps, though there is a 
    restaurant not far from it. I hope my directions aren't too confusing... 
    It'd be easier to make a map. I'll probably do that in the future if this 
    is consistent in every game.

    This is the hole that you crash into during the mission "End of the Line".

    Happy Days by vinweasel -- Get a ZR-350 or a police car (these are the only
    ones I know that it works on), and do a burnout, but instead of doing a 
    360, go left to right a few times then reverse and look at your creation.
    It will be a smilie face instead of a donut.

    Hidden Package in SA by Ricky B. -- In Los Santos, East Los Santos, there
    is a hidden package tiki thing as an advertisement thing on a store. It's
    huge. It is on a store selling tiki things. Starting from your home in 
    Ganton and start going down the only road you can go down. Make a right at
    the first road you can turn off on. Go down the street and as you go down
    it's like the third or so store on the right, so if I'm wrong then just
    look to your right the whole time and you should see it.

    Jerkin' On by The Omen -- In the mission Just Business, the statue in the
    building is making the "jerk off" symbol.

    Manhunting by Denny L. -- If you go into the bar in Grove Street and look 
    at the paintings on the wall, youÃ­ll see a message that says Ã¬BOBOÃ® and an 
    armed soldier is standing there with a gun in his hand. This soldier just
    so happens to be the armed guards on Manhunt's later levels, they are
    called Ã¬CerberusÃ®. In fact, once you unlock the extra concept art for 
    Cerberus, which is the identical picture used for the concept art (missing
    the lower body of course). I thought this was pretty neat.

    More Gant Fun by Adam Musa -- There's a diner below the start of the bridge
    in San Fierro that has "An Acutal Piece of the Cable" featured as a tourist
    attraction. On the sign is says:
    Ooooooooh amazing... 
    Isn't it fantastic?
    No, it's just simple physics. 
    I don't know why we're making such a fuss.

    Rockstar Loves the Racing by Taldi -- Most NRG-500s have the number 46 as
    their racing number, an homage to Valentino Rossi, one of the greatest
    Moto GP racers ever. 

    Rock On by Xeigrich -- There's a rock north of Palomino Creek entitled
    Northstar Rock. Harhar.

    Sex Shop by Derek S. -- There are alot of funny things in the sex shop you
    can enter.  There is a dildo mounted on a chainsaw. Also, some of the
    books in there have funny titles. Like "Jenny and Sara, Lesbo Adventure."

    Sex Shop II by vinweasel -- In the Sex Shop, there is a sign on the door
    that reads something like "To remain in the arcade, you must be in the
    booth, doors locked, films running, lights off, wanking, otherwise you must
    leave." The bad grammar is in the sign.

    The Sky Is Falling by Maikeru -- Near Zero's RC, I saw this odd guy wearing 
    a small box on his head (kind of helmet style) and another piece of 
    cardboard taped to his chest. Anyway, I used my camera to get a better look
    at him. He's some sort of homeless person, but the box on his head had the
    words "Keep Out" written on it and piece of cardboard taped to his chest 
    reads "God is playing with us!" Which, if you think about it means the
    programmers and the game players as they control the world and the people
    in it.

    Tractor Tow by many -- Drive a tractor to a Combine Harvester, kill the
    driver, and use the right analog stick to tow the Harvester. The faster you 
    go while towing, the faster you go. You can also do a hard turn while going
    at this speed and you'll go flying off to a side.

    True Crime Sucked -- At the train tunnel near Unity Station, among other
    places, there's an ad for a company called 'True Grime', with a tagline 
    about getting rid of 'old rubbish'. Thanks to Phil Gerrard.

    Use a Real Phone for These by Joe Dawson -- The following fax numbers will
    send you something back if you call them.

    1-866-FUN-CULT -- The Epsilon Tract
    1-866-FACE-FEAR -- Inversion Therapy

    Vanity Plates by Afroholic -- Many thanks for all of these.

    Mission Plates:
    Sweet's Greenwood: GROVE4L 
    Ryder's Picador: SHERM 
    Jizzy's Broadway: HO 2 HO
    Truth's Mothership: EREHTTUO
    Car in Badlands Mission: ASSMAN 
    Pulaski's Buffalo on High Noon mission: PULASKI
    Car in Yay Ka-Boom-Boom mission: TIME BOMB
    Cesar's Car: LUVA4L
    Toreno's Car: OMEGA
    Windsor on Home on the Hills mission: J LOMAX

    Denise's Hustler: HOMEGIRL
    Millie's Car: SPANK
    Katie's Car: TRAUMA
    Barbara's Car: CUFFS
    Michelle's Car: NOS

    Feltzer: DR DR F
    Comet: LOLLY
    Jester: GRO1N or G3P0
    Infernus: J L335
    Rancher: S4LEI JON

    Bullet in SF Burgershot: CHUNKY
    Banshee beside San Fierro Gym: BDP
    Hotknife at Driving School: GOLD

    Vice City Maps also by Afroholic -- Go to Angel Pine and find the Clucking
    Bell. Right across the street are three trash cans. Knock them over to find
    a bunch of maps of Vice City.

    What's On Your Tombstone? by C. Conliffe -- All of the gravestones in San
    Andreas read "OPPOSITION, 1997-2004. RIP."
    Wish Upon a Star by Louis VI -- Look at the sky on a clear night and you
    should be able to see a Rockstar logo with a big star where the star in the
    logo is.

    Zero's Shop -- There are many Manhunt and GTA figurines in Zero's RC shop,
    and Zachary S says that you can even see the Vice City game box in there.

    Zombies! Oh no! by Darrel Park -- San Fierro Downtown, inside the Genetic 
    Research building there are signs over the elevators with "FLOORS 1 TO 6
    ONLY" and such, but the middle one says "ZOMBIE LAB ONLY."

    Have an easter egg? Send it in with EASTER EGG in the topic header. If your
    e-mail does not have EASTER EGG in the title, and you want to submit one,
    it will be disregarded and you can try again.

    C. Criminal Rankings (555XIIIc)

    I will love you forever if you can get me a listing of all the titles for
    criminal rankings, or, even better, if you can get numbers to go along with
    them. A lot of people liked this in my Vice FAQ, and I'd love to have it
    done here.

    -10000 - -6000  = Crackhead
    -5999  - -4000  = Bitch-made
    -3999  - -2000  = Off-Brand
    -1999  - -500   = Scandalous
    -499   - -1     = Player-hater
    0      - 19     = Vic
    20     - 49     = Square 
    50     - 74     = Civilian
    75     - 99     = Rat
    100    - 119    = Snitch 
    120    - 149    = Dry Snitch
    150    - 199    = Transformer
    200    - 239    = Punk-ass Bitch
    240    - 269    = Sucka
    270    - 299    = Poot Butt 
    300    - 329    = Buster
    330    - 369    = Mark 
    370    - 399    = Chump
    400    - 449    = Trick 
    450    - 499    = Red-headed Stepcild
    500    - 549    = Peon 
    550    - 599    = Pee-Wee 
    600    - 609    = Prankster 
    610    - 649    = Fool 
    650    - 699    = Street Cat
    700    - 849    = Thug 
    850    - 999    = Hustler 
    1000   - 1049   = Playa Partner
    1150   - 1299   = Mack
    1300   - 1499   = Pimp
    1500   - 1699   = Crime Partner
    1700   - 1999   = Homeboy 
    2000   - 2099   = Homie 
    2100   - 2299   = Road Dawg
    2300   - 2499   = Hoodsta 
    2500   - 2749   = Hard-ass 
    2750   - 2999   = Banger
    3000   - 3499   = Lil' G 
    3500   - 3999   = Loc
    4000   - 4999   = Jacker
    5000   - 7499   = Shooter 
    7500   - 9999   = Foot Soldier
    10000  - 19999  = Hoo-Rider 
    20000  - 29999  = Soldier 
    30000  - 39999  = Hawg 
    40000  - 49999  = Gangsta 
    50000  - 59999  = Ghetto Star
    60000  - 79999  = Monster 
    80000  - 99999  = Big Homie
    100000 - 149999 = Boss Hawg
    150000 - 199999 = Shot Caller
    200000 - 299999 = OG
    300000 - 399999 = High Roller
    400000 - 499999 = Four-Star
    500000 - 749999 = General 
    750000 - 999999 = Godfather
    1000000         = King of San Andreas

Thanks to The Great Onion Kid and GTADomain for these rankings. Thanks to
blaze888888 and diego siles for the complete listing, and thanks to many others
for small corrections. If I mistyped something, let me know, but it looks
pretty good to me.

How to boost a criminal ranking (these are generalizations, and are not always
going to happen exactly as I have it:
$5000                             = 1 Point
Killing a civilian                = 1 Point
Completing a mission              = 5 Points
Blowing up a vehicle              = 5 Points
Blowing up a helicopter or plane  = 30 Points
Getting Busted/Wasted             = -3 Points
Using a cheat                     = -10 Points

Thus, the best way to boost your criminal ranking is to shove a bunch of planes
in the hangar at Verdant Meadows and blow them all up, then close the hangar
and repeat.

Also, a big "shame on you" for those that submitted the info saying that they
wrote all the listings down themselves and gave me the exact same list as what
GTADomain has up. That's lame guys.

    D. Flight Rankings (555XIIId)

    0:00  - 0:05  = No Ranking
    0:05  - 0:10  = Flyboy
    0:10  - 0:20  = Aircraftman
    0:20  - 0:30  = Pilot Officer
    0:30  - 1:00  = Corporal
    1:00  - 1:30  = Lieutenant
    1:30  - 2:00  = Sergeant
    2:00  - 2:30  = Captain 
    2:30  - 3:00  = Biggs
    3:00  - 3:30  = Wedge
    3:30  - 4:00  = Red Baron
    4:00  - 4:30  = Goose
    4:30  - 5:00  = Viper
    5:00  - 6:00  = Jester
    6:00  - 7:00  = Chappy
    7:00  - 8:00  = Iceman
    8:00  - 9:00  = Maverick
    9:00  - 10:00 = Noops
    10:00 - 20:00 = Air Chief Marshal
    20:00 - 30:00 = Ace

Captain does NOT come after Ace. If Captain came after Ace for you, then you
should also get Biggs later. It takes a LOT of flying to get Ace.

Again, thanks to GTADomain. Many thanks to Nick Taylor for all of the numbers
for these. I'll send the hooker over on Friday. And yes, most of the names are
from the movie Top Gun, including Biggs and Wedge. Yes, that's right
videogeeks, they are't originally from Final Fantasy, but rather from an old
Tom Cruise movie. 

Edit: Actually, they're from an even older movie that you should all know, Star
Wars. They were Red Two and Red Three. Thanks to all the people that submitted
this and made me feel like a twit :(.

There's a glitch where you get Ace before you're supposed to. Just know that
you need to have flown a LOT before you get to Ace. If you go Ace then say,
Captain, you just had a glitch. Sorry doods.

XIV. Contact Information (555XIV)

Have a submission, idea, criticism, hate mail? Send it to me at! You can find me on GameFAQs as AggroSk8er.

Mission info? Put what mission in the title. Make my life easier, please.

If you have a question on something already answered, I will yell at you and
call you stupid. I have very little patience for things like that.

XV. Special Thanks (555XV)

I would like to thank Rockstar, Rockstar North, and all related companies for
making this game! I would also like to thank GameFAQs for providing me with 
some good FREE info. It's too hard to name names, but I'll add them later I 
would also like to kick all the gaming pay sites that force you to click past 
the links to "GTA:SA info here!" only to find a question asking for how you'd 
like to pay. Lastly, I'd like to thank everyone who has IM'ed me or e-mailed me
with good info. Oh, and boo to everyone who sent me stupid stuff.

"I feel blessed." -- Fernando Martinez, who should've been in this game.

"As long as we have opposable thumbs, WE WILL FIGHT YOU!" -- Zero

Fun facts:
100% completion in just over 68:00.
2nd run of 100% in 46:21.
Never went out on a single date.
Hitman in all weapons; all skills maxed.
Never had more than eight tries on any mission.
All gold at all schools.
5624 lines of text for version 1.0a.
6425 lines of text for version 2.0f.


This is me:

It's been fun. 


Das End. Copyright 2004 Chase Ansok.