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The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course

Reviewed by Alexa Moses
September 12 2002

Directed by John Stainton
Screenplay by Holly Goldberg
Rated PG
Cinemas everywhere

Like Steve Irwin wrestling with a croc, there are two things fighting each other in this film.

The first is the Crocodile Hunter himself as he wanders around North Queensland tormenting (sorry, conserving) any mammal, reptile or insect he stumbles over. The other is the plot, which seems to exist to make this look like a film, when really it's just the television show dressed up. And the plot of this movie stinks like a six-week-dead croc, and has just as much kick.

The CIA has lost a secret black box from a shuttle. It lands in North Queensland, a croc eats it and when Irwin goes to relocate the reptile, the CIA thinks that he and his wife Terri have stolen the black box. Send in some bumbling CIA agents and a hillbilly farmer intent on croc shooting, and that's what pads out about two-thirds of this film.

The rest of the movie is taken up by Croc Hunter antics, as Irwin and his wife pick up a bird spider, a brown snake, an orphaned joey and a croc and talk a lot about saving the animals.

Steve and Terri Irwin are watchable because they're so damn jolly and you wonder what they're like in real life. Does she ever get angry? Do they ever fight? Or have sex? They must. After all, they've got a daughter, Bindi Sui (named after a croc and a dog).

Irwin has a bubbling ebullience which is compelling, and you goggle as he wrestles crocs. She's always running for the snake bag or the croc container. She says "nuts!" when things go wrong.

But as soon as we're not watching Irwin with his menagerie, the film becomes stupid and tedious.

Kate Beahan, who plays an Australian-born CIA agent, has been dressed up to look like a poor man's Angelina Jolie. Magda Szubanski is like a character out of the Beverly Hillbillies as the croc-hunting farmer.

Because the dialogue and story are so bad, everyone's acting is hammy. In fact, this film is so obviously about cashing in on the success of the series that it's depressing.

But once you've surrendered your money at the door, it's worth staying through to the credits. In the out takes, you catch a fascinating glimpse of the Steve Irwin behind the Crocodile Hunter, while he talks to the director and fluffs his lines.

Now this is the true drama of Crocodile Hunter. Will the real Steve Irwin please stand up?




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