Mixed Black and Hispanic Children

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Need advice on black/Hispanic babies & in laws!

Posted 05/16/2013
Hey girls! I previously posted a question on the multiracial group but my question was ignored, not sure if it was because I posted it there instead of here, but whatever I hope you guys help me out! Ok. I'm gonna paste my last post here and wait for your comments. 

Ok. So, here is my problem. I'm in an interracial relationship. I am Hispanic and my bf is African American. We've been together for over 4 years now and plan to get married this coming year. However, I don't know if I'm having second thoughts or if I'm just freaking out for no reason. I have never had any issue with race or had any racial prejudice. However, I have felt kinda confused since one of my bf's aunts said "biracial kids always have a hard time with racism". There are some biracial kids in their family -she's not the mother though- so Im not sure if she said that because of her nieces and nephews or was just speaking in general. She is a very opinionated and obnoxious person, but at the same time she reminded me there has always been a battle to fight against it and in a certain way, opened my eyes. Is not that I ever thought about racism because I am with a black man, but I guess I was somewhat naive about it. Thought to myself it cant be that bad. My bf and I have had talks about it but he always say "is not a big deal, mixed kids don't get confused if you talk to them". To me that's just not enough anymore. I've tried to do some research on my own, but somehow I end up finding some ignorant comments and I just can't afford to read some more BS anymore. That's the reason why I joined this site because I think the people that should be able to help me the most are you guys, even though you all have different experiences I'm sure you can help me out clear my mind because you've been there before or are there already. So, how do you deal and explain kids this stuff? How do you teach them to be proud of their both or multiracial backgrounds? How do you handle when they come home crying because some other kid at school or even in their own family called him/her names? How do you stop racism in your own family? I also want to ask you about how do you handle the relationship with your in-laws? Have you ever suffer any racism for not being like them? My bf's family are nice to me, but somehow I just don't feel like I fit in their family. I don't like that they are extremely family oriented. Don't get me wrong, I am also family oriented. But his family is just way over the top. They live close to each other and are always hanging out together. Always a reunion with loud and obnoxious people going on. His aunt thinks she rules the family. She's the one with the attention problem. Every time we are in town, we have to go see her like if she was the mother. Otherwise she gets upset. Its just a pain because the only thing she talks about is her other relatives and black supremacy. I have sensed a weird vibe when I'm with them, but they're always polite and I'm always respectful. My bf is one of the best things that's ever happened to me, but I really don't like his family for these and many other reasons. And lately I've been thinking I don't really want my kids to hang out with them as much. Pls note I don't like them not because they are black but because of the way they are, we simply don't have anything in common. These two issues (raise healthy biracial kids and his family) are freaking me out. Please share your experiences. Thank you so much in advance!

Comments (1)

Posted 09/23/2013

well i dont know how much advice i could give since my LO is only 6 months but i do have a family that is really close there is really nothing wrong with that some family's do everything together others dont you cant really change that but i wouldnt distant your child from that kids have a way on picking up on things at a young age that may make them uneasy around them / their black side if its you that doesnt like them maybe you can bow out the visits sometimes use it as me time for yourself nothing wrong with that.

Regarding mixed kids being confused unfortunatly that is the case with many kids what you both should do is show your LO positive things about both heritages so that they can be proud of both involve them with as much information about both racial back grounds and how  some people of both races will see something wrong with your little one and that you cant listen to them that is just them being hateful. Teach them that hateful people come in all races and unfortunatly in both or their races but that they cant hate themselves because other peopel are ignorant if you just keep talking to them about things like that you and your family should be fine  hope this helps you

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