First Test, day two at the Patel Stadium Ahmedabad

India v England - as it happened

Cheteshwar Pujara made a brilliant 206 not out to take India past 500 before a predictable late collapse from England
Test Match
Because the BCCI have refused to allow certain picture agencies access to the ground, the Guardian, along with other UK media groups, is not publishing live pictures from the first Test in protest. Instead, we've asked Ian Botham, David Gower and these four young lads to give us some idea of what they think today's action might look like

It was such a schoolboy mistake. I rolled over, looked at the alarm ringing on my phone, and let my thumb dally over the 'snooze' button and then thought, 'no, I'll be up in a moment anyway.' So I turned it off. And woke again, with a start and - yes, I'll admit it, a shrill, girlish shriek - at 3.35am. A twenty minute sprint later, here I am. Just in time for the start of play. Honestly. I was four hours early yesterday, and an hour late today. You'd think I was an absolute beginner.

Talking of schoolboy mistakes, we saw a few from England yesterday. But I'm afraid that immaculate segue is all you're going to get to see of the lovely little preamble I had cooked up for you in my mind while I was on my way here, because Yuvraj and Pujara are on their way to the middle, and play is about to start.

91st over: India 323-4 (Pujara 98, Yuvraj 24) Swann, who willed England into this match and kept them in it with his skill alone, opens the bowling from around the wicket to Yuvraj. The second ball beats the bat, as Yuvi attempts a sweep, and draws forth an LBW appeal from the lips of Swann and Prior. It's a maiden.

92nd over: India 328-4 (Pujara 99, Yuvraj 24) Stuart Broad starts at the other end, bowling to a split field with a single slip. He'll be looking to bowl wicket-to-wicket then. Pujara probably slept as fitfully as your correspondent, 98 not out as he was overnight. He moves to 99 with a single. Broad then makes a desperate appeal against Yuvi for a ball that pitched six inches outside leg stump and ran away for four leg byes. "Nice to see you've got up at last. I've been waiting for OBO to come up for hours," writes James Austin. "Admittedly that's because I'm in Australia and yet to come to terms with the time difference yet (which also accounts for my complete confusion with ringing home and getting bleary eyed people angrily responding) but anyways: HOW DARE YOU GET UP SO LATE. So I have two questions for you: a) Where can I watch the test on Australian TV?" [Umm, I'm guessing you can't] "b) How did Patel do yesterday - I note Swann got wickets and I would have expected Patel to get some as well considering he's the 'other' spinner. He got a goodly number of overs and kept the run rate down but did he offer any threat. Could he become an England all-rounder for the future?" Patel did well, in his way, he's just not a good enough bowler to trouble Indian batsmen, even on a pitch like this. He has all the menace of Pudsey the bear. In fact his physique means he looks a little like Pudsey too. The man is a part-timer, picked as much for his form with the bat as his ability with the ball.

93rd over: India 328-4 (Pujara 99, Yuvraj 24) So, Pujara needs one run to reach his second Test hundred. And he'll have to do it with the dulcet tones of Matt Prior ringing around his earhole. There's lots of chatter from England out there this morning. That's a good sign. They seemed a little flat yesterday. Pujara looks a little twitchy, scuffs a glance to square leg, and survives another LBW appeal. Another maiden.

93rd over: India 330-4 (Pujara 100, Yuvraj 25) Pujara gets his hundred, but he hardly pauses to celebrate it, a brief wave of the bat, a quick shake of the hand, and a short swig of water, and he returns to his work. It took him 190 balls. He's a hell of a player, this lad. "Forgive me for pressing, Andy," asks Harry Tuttle. "But it seems to me you were bang on time, not an hour late. Unless you have to take an hour to strap yourself into some unwieldy contraption at OBO Towers; I always imagined you watched a big telly in a comfy chair and typed what you saw on a mac. By all means set me right." But what about my lavish preamble, Harry? My carefully sculpted 1,000 word introduction to today's play, with it's insightful and nuanced explanation of the play. replete with allusions to Ezra Pound's Cantos and sly satirical references to the David Petraeus scandal? Standards, man.

94th over: India 345-4 (Pujara 105, Yuvraj 35) That seems to have eased the pressure out there. Pujara breaks Swann's run of dot balls by punching four down the ground, and then strolls a single. H'm. This looks ominous. Yuvraj unshackles himself and slaps a six down to long-off, and sweeps another lofted shot out to mid-wicket. The ball was only a fingernail's width away from being another six. Swann's over cost 15. A public service announcement for our Australian brethren, from Grant Cartlidge: "Tell James Austin that the cricket is live on Fox Sports 2 in Aus. Most pubs will have it on, if only to show England toiling." Then, I guess, North Korean style, the screens will black out and start showing highlights of the 2007 Ashes when England start doing well again.

95th over: India 346-4 (Pujara 106, Yuvraj 35) Broad comes around the wicket to Yuvraj, pinning him down with a series of straight balls that slant in towards off-stump. A good over, this one, almost making amends for the last. "You were not alone in you early morning malfunction," Phil Withall tells me. "Apparently Bumble set his alarm for 2.45 pm."

96th over: India 346-4 (Pujara 106, Yuvraj 35) The Guardian's Australian contingent of readers all seem a little unsure about the morality of subscribing to Fox just to watch the cricket. Can't think why. "If you're happy pumping cash into the 'humble' old man that is this nation's most shameful export, you can watch the cricket on Fox Sports 2," says Peter Mattessi. What's Martin McCague got to do with it?

97th over: India 350-4 (Pujara 108, Yuvraj 37) Swann bustles through another over.

98th over: India 356-4 (Pujara 109, Yuvraj 42) Broad flings down a bouncer, but it rises like one of my Yorkshire puddings, and Yuvi smears it off his hip to mid-wicket for four. He beats the bat with the sixth ball, but it was outside the line of off stump and Yuvi was playing a shot, so Broad was shouting in vain. This boy needs a refresher course in the rules of the game. "I recently persuaded/tricked my wife into agreeing to our subscription for Fox," says Paul Tooby. "And if James Austin is in Melbourne he might as well get some use out of my telly tonight while I'm at a dinner party with a bunch of people who don't like cricket. Heathens."

99th over: India 360-4 (Pujara 113, Yuvraj 42) I don't imagine for a minute Andrew Strauss is sitting in an armchair somewhere in the home counties with his feet up watching this on TV, but if he is he could be forgiven for allowing himself just a little smile right now. Because this is hard and thankless work for Cook and his team. Pujara slices an edge past the slip, and it runs away for four. The cameras close in on Cook stroking his chin. Moments later, Swann rips one from outside off stump back in towards Pujara's stumps. He appeals, ferociously, but umpire Hill shakes his head. Swann is furious. If he had the DRS here, he would certainly have reviewed that. Bumble astutely points out that the lack of the DRS is going to subtly change the game because, even allowing for umpires being more generous towards the bowlers these days, it is going to allow the batsmen to kick the ball away much more than they would otherwise.

100th over: India 360-4 (Pujara 109, Yuvraj 42) Swann and Broad are both fuming now having both had appeals turned down. India have toughed out the first 40 minutes with the new ball, and are starting to take control of the session. So, Cook yanks Broad from the attack and brings on Jimmy Anderson, who has a little strapping on his heel today. Still, it is an excellent first over, a maiden.

101st over: India 360-4 (Pujara 113, Yuvraj 42) "Muhahahaha!" cackles Aatman Chaudhary. "Sweet, sweet revenge, I may be putting my foot in my mouth, but this is surely India's game now. Plus, the fact that Stu is looking less and less like the inswing-outswing hat trick demigod that he became in England is the icing on the cake." Yup, him and Jimmy both. In fact, the form of all England's seam bowlers seems to have tailed off a little over the last 12 months, as has the quality of their fielding. Still, much as I agree with you about this being India's match, I'm going to stand by the old rule that we have to wait to see both teams bat before we judge. We've reason to think England's batsman are a hapless bunch of clowns when it comes facing spin, but at the same time they can bat very, very long - Trott, Compton, Cook - and very, very deep, with an 8, 9, 10 of Bresnan, Broad, and Swann.

102nd over: India 361-4 (Pujara 113, Yuvraj 43) Yuvrag nudges a single away square, the only run Anderson has given up in another good, tight over. England's bowlers seem a lot clearer about what they are trying to do today. Yesterday it felt like they were unsure whether they were supposed to be taking wickets with short balls and reverse swing, or simply bowling dry and tying up one end while Swann worked at the other. Between two stools, they fell arse-down on the floor.

103rd over: India 363-4 (Pujara 113, Yuvraj 45) Yuvraj tries a sweep, gets it wrong, and squirts a top-edge over to the off-side for two runs. Swann's next is going to be his 40th over. England are going to have to pick Monty Panesar in the next match, simply to give Swann some more support. The man has a chronic shoulder injury, and at this rate he's not going to make to the fourth day, never mind the fourth Test.

104th over: India 363-4 (Pujara 113, Yuvraj 45) Anderson is in the thick of an excellent spell. This was another maiden, which means his three overs so far have cost just a single run.

105th over: India 365-4 (Pujara 114, Yuvraj 46) Jon Siu has the right idea. With England facing an almighty shellacking here, he's already mentally moving on to the Ashes, which, after all, is all us English really care about anyway. *Cough*. "Whilst we're on the subject of Australia, are you keeping up with the Aus vs SA series? The Test at the Gabba had the dual negative of making Australia look good (despite SA's brilliant attack, they couldn't bowl Australia out) and making us, England, look bad (given how convincingly SA beat us last summer). I don't rate this Australian team, but if Australia win against SA and we lose against India, do you think that would make Australia favourites for the Ashes?"

106th over: India 366-4 (Pujara 115, Yuvraj 47) Pujara eases a single to fine leg, Yuvi knocks another away square, and that, ladies and gents, is drinks.

107th over: India 375-4 (Pujara 118, Yuvraj 52) Patel is coming into the attack now. Tim Bresnan has bowled all of ten overs in this innings so far, and you have to wonder what the hell he is doing in the team. Samit serves up an all-you-can-eat full toss, and Yuvi tucks in, stepping down the pitch and slapping it for four through mid-wicket. The cameras cut to Duncan Fletcher, and behind his shades, we can just see the glimmer of a satisfied twinkle in his eye. He's still not smiling, mind. Pujara glances the final ball of the over away square for three.

108th over: India 375-4 (Pujara 118, Yuvraj 52) It is wonderful to see Yuvraj back in this side after he had to take all that time out to recover from cancer. But perhaps he could get out now. Beacuse if he stays in much longer this is going to get very ugly indeed for England. Actually, I'm just a little uneasy about how the story of his recovery is being presented. Yuvi made it clear quite early on that he expected to be able to beat the disease, but as soon as we hear the c-word some people in the media tend to lay the sentiment on a little thick. And I say that as someone who lost a parent to the disease. Anyway. Another maiden from Anderson.

109th over: India 380-4 (Pujara 122, Yuvraj 53) This is, without doubt, my favourite email of the series so far, from Richard Parks, because it is exactly the kind of desperately sad thing I do myself. And don't worry, you aren't missing anything while you read it, just another mediocre over from Samit. "Trying to get to sleep the other night I came up with two All-England Teams, in batting order. I fell asleep wrangling with the N and O problems, in both of which I cheated, and without having found a Q (Willie Quaife, anyone? Thanks, Wikipedia!). Atherton, Boycott, Compton, Dexter, Edrich, French (wkt) Greig, Harmison, Illingworth, (capt) Jones, Knight. Or: Lloyd, Milburn, Nawab (of Pataudi), Oliveira, Pietersen, Ranjitsinjhi, Stewart (wkt, capt), Tyson, Underwood, Voce, Willis. Which one has your money?" Oof, difficult. the A-K side has a much stronger batting line-up, but that advantage is matched by the one held by the bowlers of the other lot.

110th over: India 382-4 (Pujara 123, Yuvraj 54) "Jon Siu's thinking (105th over) is indeed excellent," says Sara Torvalds. "And if Australia are favourites for the Ashes, that means England might have a chance, right?"

111th over: India 383-4 (Pujara 124, Yuvraj 54) These two have out on 100 runs together now.

112th over: India 385-4 (Pujara 124, Yuvraj 54) I wonder how many India want here? Maybe they don't have a total in mind at all, but simply want to bat on till they're all out. Here, at last, is Tim Bresnan, bowling his first over since before Tea yesterday. Pujara punches a drive straight through Ian Bell at extra cover, the fielder's hands buckling like soggy cardboard.

113th over: India 393-4 (Pujara 126, Yuvraj 62) Just like yesterday, the simple truth is that when Swann isn't bowling, England don't look like being able to take a wicket. And it's not only that Samit poses much less threat, is that the batsmen are more comfortable at the crease and score more easily against the quicks at the other end because there just isn't so much pressure on them. Yuvraj swats another six, this one down the ground.

114th over: India 396-4 (Pujara 127, Yuvraj 63) Nasser Hussain is suggesting giving Kevin Pietersen a bowl, and I rather agree with him. In these circumstances, and on this pitch, he's worth a look at least. He gives it a rip, and I reckon he'd rather relish bowling to Yuvraj. He has a fertile mind, though, does Nasser, he is now suggesting that Duncan Fletcher and MS Dhoni have ordered the groundstaff to prepare not only a spinning pitch, but a lush green outfield to hinder the ability of the English bowlers to scuzz up the ball and get any reverse swing. I think Nasser might have gone through the looking glass on that one.

115th over: India 398-4 (Pujara 128, Yuvraj 63) Boy, Yuvraj has nothing but contempt for Samit's bowling. he clobbers a pull out to mid-wicket. The ball plugged in the outfield, so he didn't get many for it, but it was a disdainful stroke indeed. Bell wears one at silly point, this time on his shin. He was hit in the chest when he was at short leg yesterday, and got bashed on the fingers when he misfielded at cover a little earlier on. The man must be black and blue.

116th over: India 398-4 (Pujara 128, Yuvraj 63) "Hilariously," begins Harry Tuttle, and I sense he doesn't mean it in the sense of 'what I am about to say is really quite funny' so much as he does 'what I am about to say is spirit-sappingly sad, and makes me feel more pain than I care to admit in public'. You know, it's a "hilariously" that is prefacing something that isn't funny so much as it is tragic. Yes, hilarious tragedy. Like so much else in an English cricket fan's life. So... "Hilariously I stayed up for this, after watching the first day and then going to work. I told myself that we still had a chance, that with our bowlers India all out for 450 was possible. But that's not going to happen. India are going to declare after Tea. I was mad to think that. Mad - because I believed in those rigorous 'truths' that had flown around in the build-up to this series. The Flower set-up has its principles, and they have served them so well in the past that it has made sense to cling to those principles. But those principles are creaky now, they're positively schlerotic. We can't keep swanning into every environment refusing to acknowledge the conditions. That is foolish, even complacent. What was once reasonable becomes dogma. Add in the fact that England have been keen to emphasise how absolute their preparation for this series has been, and it's no exaggeration to say they're not batting to save the game from first innings on, they're batting to save face."

117th over: India 400-4 (Pujara 131, Yuvraj 64) Harry, that last email wasn't hilarious at all, but it was very, very good. That's the 400, then. "How many runs do they want?" says Chris Bourne, reminding me of what I wrote in over 112. "If they can, they will bat until the pitch starts to break up. There's no point declaring while the track is still flat. Which probably means they will bat until tomorrow morning and declare on 650 or so. Horrible, isn't it?"

118th over: India 400-4 (Pujara 131, Yuvraj 64) And here is Pietersen, to bowl to Yuvraj from around the wicket. "Come on Pilgrim!" shouts Matt Prior, who seems to have coined a new nickname for KP. Pietersen has Yuvraj in a little trouble with two consecutive balls here, one that bat the bat, and the other that slipped off the inside edge. Now, KP isn't going to bowl India out here, and he'll certainly give up some runs, but he might well get a wicket too given that he does make the ball bounce and turn. I'm a little surprised that it has taken Cook so long to bring him on. It's a maiden.

119th over: India 402-4 (Pujara 132, Yuvraj 65) Swann comes back on, for a final short spell before lunch. "As a Singapore resident, I was seriously contemplating getting SingTel's cable TV and maybe a UK IP address so I could listen to Test Match Special at the same for this series," says Giles Chapman, who is evidently a seriously committed cricket fan. "Glad I saw sense and decided against both. The money I save on those I can spend on drinking to forget it's happening at all."

120th over: India 405-4 (Pujara 133, Yuvraj 66) "Probably England were still working on KP's 're-integration process' as a bowler," scoffs Anurag Pandey. "I believe this process is now complete making him available for bowling in a Test match."

121st over: India 410-4 (Pujara 133, Yuvraj 71) It may be the last over before lunch, but Yuvraj doesn't think twice when he sees that Swann has dropped a delivery just a little short. He clobbers it over mid-on for four. His century is starting to look - and feel - inevitable now. After a single, Pujara plays out the rest of the over and everyone troops off.

There was a moment in that session, around 40 minutes in, when you realised that England had already given all they had to give for that particular round. They threw a few hard blows early on, but none of them landed. Deflated, and exhausted, they seemed to spend the rest of the the time leaning back on the ropes, covering up and clinging on, saving themselves to try and attack again later in the day.


A shameless plug A shameless plug from OBO readers Tom Wells and Alan Curr, from the ground in Ahmedabad

A shameless plug, this: "Morning Andy," writes Tom Wells. "I know you're not using photos of the game so thought you might welcome a photo from the ground. I'm sat next to Alan Curr, who wrote a book about playing cricket on Everest (available at some good booksellers). The foreword is by one Lawrence Booth." Booth? The old foreward whore. The thing that I love most about this is that Alan seems to have chosen to take his own book with him as his holiday reading.

I was talking to Booth just yesterday, in fact, praising him for the brilliant Wisden Extra magazine. If you haven't seen it, do have a look. It looks great, and reads well. You can get your free PDF copy here. Between Wisden Extra, Wisden India, Cricinfo under the excellent editorship of Sambit Bal, and one or two very good amateur blogs like The Old Batsman and Cricket With Balls, along with all the excellent content produced by the guardian and the other papers, I was wondering whether this isn't actually a bit of a golden era for cricket writing. It's a curious but heartening thought that, given that cricket is a game that is prone to nostalgia and that, generally, the state of sports journalism isn't all that healthy right now.

The best of the many takes I read on yesterday's play, for instance, didn't come from a broadsheet or any of the really well-known correspondents, but from Jarrod Kimber, the man behind Cricket With Balls. This is what Jarrod had to say on his blog on Cricinfo:


But in this match:




Ten years ago we'd never have got to read a take like that one on this match. And if Jarrod had wanted to go into sports journalism he'd have to have done it the old way, working his way up, which would, in all likelihood, have drummed all the originality and colour out of his writing. These days, the interweb provides us with instant access to the inane opinions of multitudinous idiots. But it also gives us the likes of Jarrod, Wisden Extra, The Old Batsman, and yes, the OBO. And that's a very good thing for those of us who love reading and writing about the game.

Rant over.

122nd over: India 411-4 (Pujara 133, Yuvraj 73) Pietersen bowls the first over after lunch, and it costs just a single.

123rd over: India 411-4 (Pujara 133, Yuvraj 73) And Samit starts at the other end. His first ball beats Yuvraj, and Prior gathers it and whips off the bails. He thinks he may have stumped Yuvi here, though no one else seems to agree with him, least of all the video reply. "Referring to Harry Tuttle's e-mail of over 116 and one of Smyth's riffs yesterday, I think the OBO requires its own portmanteau, 'hilagedy', into which the vast majority of contributions from OBO world reassuringly fit," suggests Dan Stagg, in a truly inspired email. "Also, could Giles Chapman expand on his idea of getting a UK IP address. I really wasn't prepared for the loss of TMS when emigrating, innocently assuming I could just listen online. My hilagic world would be complete if I could mute Shrastri, Collingwood and co and listen to Aggers and the gang, whilst watching the pictures on the otherwise evil Fox Sports and reading the OBO. All whilst working diligently mind. And women say we can't multi-task, I say they just set us the wrong tasks to multi."

124th over: India 411-4 (Pujara 133, Yuvraj 73) Shyam Sandilya has sent me a Alphabetical Indian XI to take on Richard Parks two England teams from a few overs ago. The trouble is Shyam, you need to do more than simply list the team in alphabetical order from 1 to 11. You need a batsman beginning with 'A', and you have one in Amarnath, but you can't just skip to Chauhan and on to Ganguly. That's not how it works. So You could go Amarnath, Badrinath, Chauhan, Dravid, for instance. Sheesh, this feels a little like killing a stone dead joke by laboriously explaining the punchline.

WICKET! Yuvraj 74 c Swann b Patel (India 413-4) Well, that's one of the worst, weakest, dismissals I have ever seen. Samit has the good grace not to celebrate it, or do anything much other than look very diffident indeed. He served up the single most disgusting delivery we have seen in this match so far, a belly-high full toss, and Yuvi whacked it straight to Swann at long-on. That, to use Dan Stagg's neologism, was hilagic. "That's one way to do it," chortles Bumble, "doesn't matter if the pitch is flat if you don't land the ball on it."

126th over: India 417-5 (Pujara 137 Dhoni 1) Dhoni, dude that he is, has come out to bat in a baseball cap. Cook responds by bringing Bresnan into the attack, and, disappointingly, Dhoni duly dons a proper helmet. I'm afraid that half my brain capacity, which was already fairly minimal at the moment given my lack of sleep, is now occupied with trying to arrange an alphabetical Indian XI. You really should have done it properly Shyam, then I would have been spared the trouble. Let's see, what do we need next, an E? Well, that'll be Farokh Engineer, I guess, batting a touch high for a 'keeper at No4.

127th over: India 423-5 (Pujara 143 Dhoni 1) Four more for Pujara, who has been utterly unruffled since the very early overs of the day. This is a man who has made four triple centuries in his career, in age group and first class cricket, and if anyone has the mind to stay there with him he could well be on his way to something sizeable here. Samit is bowling over the wicket to Pujara, trying to turn the ball from the rough outside his leg stump. What do we need now, an 'F'. And do you know, I think I am stuck. An Indian batsman whose surname begin with an 'F', anyone?

128th over: India 425-5 (Pujara 144 Dhoni 2) "I assume the subtext to your rant re Kimber is the Special/Sofa spat?" writes Alan White. "I have to say I found the attitudes of the grandees various baffling. It's not like they're under any threat from the Sofa. By contrast, print journalists could argue their livelihoods are directly threatened by bloggers, yet they champion them as you just have. Thoughts?" I wasn't referring to that, no. But I wrote something on it for The Spin a short while back. Not all journalists champion bloggers, believe me. As the TMSpecial crowd showed, cricket has more than its fair share of crusty old stick in the muds. But for what it is worth, I love TMSpecial, and have never bothered with the Sofa, simply because I've never felt the need for an alternative. And, while Agnew and CMJ, were undoubtedly being much too precious they do have a point that the BBC pay for the right to do radio commentary, whereas the Sofa do not. Like us, they commentate off the TV. The difference is that no one else for the right to do text commentary, so we're not treading on any toes.

129th over: India 430-5 (Pujara 149 Dhoni 2) Pujara whips four through mid-wicket off the second ball of Patel's over, and takes a single off the fifth to move to within one run of his 150.

130th over: India 431-5 (Pujara 150 Dhoni 2) And there is 150 for Pujara. Well played, sir. "I didn't want to have names like Eknath Solakar in there for E when I am only using last names for the rest of the players," explains Shyam Sandily in defence of his haphazard alphabetical team." Similarly Badrinath isn't an opening batsman so I didn't go for him. I guess I was taking the prospective match between these two teams a a little too seriously and concentrated a little too hard on having a kick ass side." Nevermind all that, Shyam, i'm that if you can't come up with an Indian batsman who has a surname that begins with F then you forfeit the match by fielding an incomplete XI.

131st over: India 439-5 (Pujara 156 Dhoni 4) Ugly shot from Dhoni, a chip into the off-side that just clears Swann's head in the outfield. The ran two while the ball is in the air. "There is no Indian test player with surname F," says Guru Rajan, bluntly. So ends one of the great riffs in the history of the OBO. Pujara thumps yet another four down the ground, and then swats a hook away for a single as Bresnan tries - and fails - to put him in his place with a short ball.

132nd over: India 441-5 (Pujara 157 Dhoni 5) Here comes success Bobby Smyth, bearing tea. "Pardon my pedantry," begins John Wilson. Nope, shan't. Can't abide pedants. Next!

133rd over: India 441-5 (Pujara 157 Dhoni 5) A maiden over from Bresnan. "I'm not sure what's worse," harrumphs Guy Hornsby. "Waking up (phone on, OBO cranked up, TMS humming in the background) and finding India are only barely 5 down, or the fact I genuinely thought it was
Saturday. For a couple of minutes I was blissfully ignorant, but now the cruel truth has set in: England haven't got a chance have they? Oh, and I have to go to the bloody office. I have a face on like bad Jimmy." That's tragarious, Guy.

135th over: India 441-5 (Pujara 157 Dhoni 5) Swann is on, replacing Patel. He appeals for an lbw off his second ball. It's no go. But moments later...

WICKET! Dhoni 5 b Swann (India 444-6) Dhoni's miserable little innings comes to an end, as he tries to sweep Swann, misses, and is bowled by a ball that ricocheted off his elbow into the stumps. Quadruple Nelson, umm, strikes again. Maybe.

136th over: India 445-6 (Pujara 161 Ashwin 0) Ashwin is in then, but that doesn't mean that England have an end open. He has a Test average just a shade under 40, and scored a century against the West Indies last year. Hallelujah, there's life in the old riff yet. "I give you Faiz Fazal," writes David Naylor. "Opener, but carries a handy bat. Double century in first class! Yes, it's 1:18am in the USA. No, I don't know why I'm awake and scraping through Cricinfo."

137th over: India 447-6 (Pujara 163 Ashwin 0) "Speaking of pedants" says Martin Dixon. "Who led the pedants' revolt?" Wait for it, wait for it, wait... "Which Tyler!" HONK!

138th over: India 447-6 (Pujara 164 Ashwin 1) Patel replaces Bresnan after a lengthy drinks breaks. "Basically India doesn't have Test cricketers with names starting with F or Q," says Shyam Sandilya. "Thus, we can never have an alphabetical order Indian test 11 unless enough Indian MBMers takes it upon themselve to redress this by changing their name (where applicable) and hope that their children do more than browse MBMs and make it as Test cricketers."

139th over: India 450-6 (Pujara 165 Ashwin 1) Anyone in the market for 'warm, passionate, versatile, generous, imaginative and occasionally outrageous' former fast bowler?

140th over: India 451-6 (Pujara 166 Ashwin 1) If Dhoni let him, I think Pujara would very happily bat through all three-and-a-half remaining days of this match.

141st over: India 453-6 (Pujara 167 Ashwin 2) Swann starts his 46th over with a ball that was full, up towards off stump. Pujara pushed it square for a single. And Ashwin adds another from the next. That's all, he wrote.

142nd over: India 455-6 (Pujara 167 Ashwin 3) We've reached the doldrums. India are idling along at one or two runs an over, and England are happy enough to let them do that. "OK Wise-guy," writes grumpy pedant John Wilson. "How many pedants does it take to change a light bulb?" Umm, you've neglected to include a punchline John.

143rd over: India 460-6 (Pujara 167 Ashwin 7) Ashwin finally does something other than prod and poke, and carts a four through mid-wicket with a rugged sort of sweep shot. That's the first boundary in 11 overs.

144th over: India 465-6 (Pujara 174 Ashwin 7) And this is the second - Pujara lofts a four over to the leg side off Patels' latest loose delivery. Other incomplete email contributions include assorted alphabetical Indian XIs running from G to P but failing to clear the hurdle of Q, from both A Prasanna.

145th over: India 467-6 (Pujara 176 Ashwin 7) Pujara cuts two out to the deep, a cute shot in an otherwise uninteresting over. "I'm not sure this qualifies 100% but it's as near as we will get,", says Chidananda. "I give you M. Framji of the Parsees' squad to England in 1886, the first representative Indian team abroad." Chapeau, Sir.

146th over: India 469-6 (Pujara 176 Ashwin 9) Stuart Broad is coming back into the attack now. He bellows out a raucous appeal after his very first delivery, arms spread wide imploring the umpire. This is getting a little embarrassing. "That wouldn't have hit a third set of stumps," says Bumble. As if Broad didn't feel wronged enough already, Samit then fumbles his fielding at backward point and allows the ball to go through for two cheap runs. Broad gives him a filthy look, and for the second time this over, spreads his arms wide, this time to ask of his fielder "what the hell are you doing?"

147th over: India 472-6 (Pujara 178 Ashwin 10) Yup.

148th over: India 481-6 (Pujara 181 Ashwin 15) A lovely square drive from Pujara, whistling the ball away through cover. Samit trundles after it, fired, no doubt by the furious glare Broad is shooting at his backside. He does catch it just in time, and flicks it back to Trott, who throws the ball in. They take three, and then Ashwin clatters a four off a wide delivery. Broad, oddly, isn't nearly as angry with himself after his own little failures as he is with his fielders after theirs.

149th over: India 487-6 (Pujara 187 Ashwin 16) In what I can only interpret as a damning comment on this obo, John Starbuck writes: "Thanks to Martin Dixon's joke, I have managed my first laugh of the day. Does anyone else have something genuinely hilarious to contribute?" Umm... how about 'Pujara runs a single off the first ball of Swann's 50th over?' That scratch your funny bone, John? Tragarious hilagedy here on the OBO. Later in the over, Pujara whacks a boundary away through square leg.

150th over: India 493-6 (Pujara 191 Ashwin 17) "That piece on smooth-talking lothario Simon Hughes has shaken me to the core," says Phil Russell (see the 139th over folks), "If we can't even trust Wisden to get his age right what else might they have got wrong? Sort it out Booth!"

151st over: India 498-6 (Pujara 193 Ashwin 20) And, to take us into Tea, Kevin Pietersen comes back into the attack for his second spell. A single off his first ball brings up the 50 partnership between these two. Have some mercy, MS, for goodness' sake.

152nd over: India 502-6 (Pujara 196 Ashwin 21) The last over of a long and gruelling session. I hope. Pujara brings up India's 500 by clipping three runs out to mid-wicket. Ashwin bangs a drive through Alastair Cook at extra cover, and England's new captain makes an absolutely pathetic attempt at taking what should have been a reasonably simple catch. He fell over like he had been shot, and flailed at the ball with his hands. And that, thankfully, is that.

So. Hilarity's Rob Smyth will be here in just a few minutes to talk you through the final session. Send your emails to him now please, at Stay jaunty, folks.


Morning A pessimist may never be disappointed, but he can certainly be dispirited. Most English cricket fans knew the first Test would play out like this from the moment India won the toss, yet it's still been a pretty demoralising experience. Here's what happens next: India bat on to around 600, thereby achieving "full mental and physical disintegration", and then the pitch mysteriously changes from a featherbed to a corrugated sheet. In short, and indeed in long, we're all doomed.

153rd over: India 506-6 (Pujara 199, Ashwin 22) Kevin Pietersen starts the evening session with some offspin from around the wicket. Pujara guides him for two and then tucks a single round the corner to move to 199. We knew he was very good; I'm not sure we knew he was this good.

154th over: India 507-6 (Pujara 200, Ashwin 22) A couple of dot balls to Pujara prompt theatrical oooohs from the crowd. Everyone knows what's coming – and there it is! Pujara steers Anderson for a single to reach a wonderful 200. He's India's youngest double centurion for 19 years, since Whatever Happened To Vinod Kambli made back-to-back doubles against England and Zimbabwe. It's been a textbook demonstration of batting time: 374 balls and with 21 fours. Pujara loves dealing in what we are contractually obliged to call Daddy hundreds – he made three triple hundreds in five weeks in October and November 2008 – and now he has produced one on the grandest stage.

WICKET! India 510-7 (Ashwin c Prior b Pietersen 22) In-form spinner Kevin Pietersen picks up where he left off in his last Test at Headingley. R Ashwin is the man to go, chasing a wide one from around the wicket and getting a bottom edge to Matt Prior.

Test Match Special Sir Ian Botham and David Gower.

155th over: India 510-7 (Pujara 200, Zaheer 0) "In the spirit of staying jaunty," says Chris Chadwick, "I hope you enjoy this recreation of the mid 80s Test Match Cricket front cover." Oh that is magnificent.

156th over: India 512-7 (Pujara 203, Zaheer 1) In the Sky commentary box, Bumble and Beefy are munching on ice-lollies. "It's hot over here Bumble..." says Beefy. Then, when the host broadcaster puts up an Ask Sunny caption on screen, some question or other about cricket, Bumble says, "Here you go, we've got an Ask Sunny here. Whatever happened to Cher?" Now all you can here is sniggering in the background. Great stuff.

157th over: India 519-7 (Pujara 204, Zaheer 7) Pietersen's obligatory bad ball, short and wide, is slapped for four by Zaheer Khan. He's a dangerous lower-order hitter, who had the highest Test score by a No11 until Tino Best put a big dumb grin on everyone's face last June.

"Well done KP, we have them on the ropes now," says Jo Beasley. "That may be me just testiculating, mind."

WICKET! India 519-8 (Zaheer c Trott b Anderson 7) After 157.1 overs, an England seamer finally takes a wicket. Zaheer throws the en-suite bathroom sink at a drive and slices it to the diving Trott at backward point.

158th over: India 519-8 (Pujara 204, Ojha 0) A wicket maiden from Anderson. India might as well have a swing now. Pujara seems a fairly one-paced batsman so the tail should heave at everything that moves.
In other news, here's Duncan Haskell with one of the stranger record sleeves. It's not entirely safe for work. "Doomed we may be but my discovery of this lady wielding her Geoff Boycott County bat means my day has already been a successful one." If Russ Meyer took over from Lawrence Booth, that could be the cover of Wisden.

159th over: India 520-8 (Pujara 205, Ojha 0) Graeme Swann comes back into the attack. He needs the last two wickets for Test-best figures. Pujara is happy to give a single to Ojha. India aren't in a particular hurry. They are pootling along contentedly. Maybe Biff Tannen has come back from the future to tell them they are going to dismiss England for bugger all in both innings. Or maybe – just maybe – they've worked that out for themselves.

"May I congratulate Chris Chadwick on one of the funniest things I have seen since getting dressed this morning," says Phil Withall. "He's made my day. Thank you sir, thank you."

160th over: India 521-8 declared (Pujara 206, Ojha 0) India are just batting. This, admittedly, is not the most profound insight of the year, but they are not pushing for runs at all. And in fact MS Dhoni has now declared. Kevin Pietersen shakes Pujara's hand and then practices a couple of defensive strokes. England have a helluva lot of batting to do if they are to save this Test. Pujara ends on 206 not out from 389 balls, a performance that demonstrated immense concentration and a pretty hefty dollop of natural talent as well.

INNINGS BREAK Time for a musical interlude.

1st over: England 8-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 8, Compton 0) Why bother with a preamble from the quick bowlers? For the fourth time this year, a spinner is going to opening the bowling in a Test against England. Last winter it was Mohammad Hafeez, Rangana Herath and Tillakaratne Dilshan; this time it's R Ashwin. His first ball is too short and slapped for four by Cook, but the third and fourth balls turn and bounce really sharply. To my left, Andy Bull is shaking his head sadly. "This is going to be torrid," he says. He may have included another word before 'torrid'. Cook, trying to cut the last ball of the over, underedges it between Dhoni's legs for four.

2nd over: England 13-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 12, Compton 1) A controversial decision from MS Dhoni, who gives the new ball to a quick bowler. Zaheer Khan is going to bowl to Nick Compton. After a few balls from over the wicket, he switches around the wicket and has a big shout for LBW turned down by Aleem Dar. It looked a poor appeal on a few counts, and replays showed Compton got a big inside edge, after which he scampered through for his first run in Test cricket. Cook then dumps a short ball round the corner for four to continue his fast start.

"Sorry to see your masterclass is now sold out in January as I won't be able to attend," says Paul King. "Happy though to see that they have now spelt your name correctly on the advert this time." I hope they've spelt it 'A-N-D-Y-B-U-L-L'. I think he's doing them now, along with Selve. Talking of Selve, here's a tweet from earlier. Is it me or is everyone off booze at the moment? What happened to the familiar cycle of sobriety-boredom-alcohol-excitement-regret-sobriety-boredom?

3rd over: England 14-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 12, Compton 2) Ashwin has four men around the bat for Cook: slip, silly point, short leg and leg slip. His third delivery is a peach that drifts in towards Cook and then snaps past his forward defensive. This is utterly compelling, already. Incidentally, thanks to Laurence Boyd for sending in Nick Compton's showreel. [Nafsegue] Let's hope he showcases his talent with the bat today [/naffsegue]

4th over: England 14-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 15, Compton 2) Zaheer Khan continues. Not much happens. One of the greatest fast bowlers in India's history is basically just a warm-up act for Pragyan Ojha.

5th over: England 18-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 15, Compton 3) Ashwin is a very tall offspinner, so bounce is as much of a threat as turn. Compton gets an inside-edge onto pad that drops safely on the off side, so Dhoni brings in a silly point. There are 13 overs left today. Two wickets? Three? 20?

"Great OBO as usual," lies Ryan Dunne, knowing full well that sycophancy ensures publication, "but surely I can't be the only one disappointed that it's split between yourself and Andy B instead of just having one guy cover the lot? Surely an overseas Test would be the perfect excuse for a Relentless relapse all-nighter; it would be like the OBO/MBM equivalent of one of those telly programmes where a Z-list celebrity takes LSD, and science-cum-hilarity ensues!" I'm not sure we need an all-nighter to prompt a meltdown. I don't know how the first two days have affected the England team, but the mental disintegration has already started in the Guardian office. Give it until the fourth day Test and at least one of us will have lost it.

6th over: England 19-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 15, Compton 3) England look very comfortable against Zaheer, as you'd expect on this pitch. They will be furious if they lose more than a couple of wickets to the seamers with the new ball.

7th over: England 21-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 15, Compton 6) Compton is getting over to the off side as much as possible against Ashwin. He blocks a carrom ball, which was a touch too full and a touch too straight to be really dangerous. Two from the over.

8th over: England 21-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 15, Compton 6) Another uneventful over from Zaheer to Cook. I'd get Ojha on at that end. So, now, how do England save this game? Realistically they must avoid the follow on, and then have not much more than a day to survive in the fourth innings. It's certainly not impossible but it would be a big effort.

"I can see how it might make your work harder – and even precipitate the meltdown – but I would advise all OBOers to refrain from e-mails, comments, sounds, and breathing, if possible, so as not to jinx anything," says Sara Torvalds. "Anything at all. Because I'm definitely not mentioning anything."

9th over: England 22-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 15, Compton 7) In fact the left-arm spinner Ojha comes on for Ashwin, who may switch ends. He has a slip, gully, short leg and silly point for Compton, whose focus is almost entirely defensive. That's understandable with the close so close, but it's also a little dangerous. A couple of edges go all along the floor into the off side and then Compton turns a single to leg. he has seven from 30 balls; Cook has 15 from 24.

"Do we need a Test match to disintegrate mentally?" says Guy Hornsby. "I suppose it's that warm, familiar cloak that any England fan has to cover himself in during the winter (tour) months. I have a face on this morning. I'm wearing some natty new shoes for the first time today as I'm out for a lady's birthday soiree later (yes, I know, OBOer knowing a woman, who'd have thought?) but they've shredded my poor feet already, and I've only got to the office. Any advice for managing to walk more than 10 feet later? In fact, is this the most pathetic whinge the OBO's ever had? Can anyone beat this?"

10th over: England 22-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 15, Compton 7) Zaheer bowls around the wicket to Compton, who leaves a delivery that doesn't miss the off stump by much. This is a quietly fascinating period of play. How England get on in this first innings is likely to pervade the rest of the series, so both sides are desperate to befriend Maurice Mentum.

11th over: England 23-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 16, Compton 7) Ojha bowls around the wicket to Cook, an interesting and unusual line of attack which, as Nasser Hussain says on Sky, looks like a Duncan Fletcher theory. A single brings Compton on strike, and he is beaten by a gorgeous flighted delivery that turns sharply past the edge. There are now four men around the bat on the off side for Compton: silly point, two slips and a gully. Compton has looked pretty calm in trying circumstances; he just needs to work out a few scoring areas. That can wait for tomorrow.

12th over: England 25-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 17, Compton 8) R Ashwin has switched ends to replace Zaheer Khan. Cook is rotating the strike easily enough, which is inadvertently putting pressure on the strokeless Compton, who has faced 20 of the last 24 balls. Ashwin has a biggish shout for LBW turned down; it turned too much.

13th over: England 26-0 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 18, Compton 8) A vicious delivery from Ojha beats Compton and ends in the hands of Sehwag at slip MS Dhoni. There's a muted appeal for a catch but that went straight past the edge, turning a mile off middle stump and going through the top as well. Ojha is bowling really slowly, below 50mph, which is allowing the pitch to do its worst. It could be a bunsen by day four, never mind five.

"Note to Guy Hornsby," says Tom Adam. "Supper at your mum's house to celebrate her 65th may technically fall within the definition of 'a lady's birthday soiree' but you aren't fooling anyone."

WICKET! England 26-1 (Compton b Ashwin 9) That was coming. Nick Compton battled desperately hard to try to survive until the close but he has gone to a beauty from R Ashwin. Compton pushed forward, trying to smother the spin, but he couldn't get quite there and the ball ripped through the gate to hit the top of middle and leg. Compton made nine from 53 balls; it was a grim struggle.

14th over: England 29-1 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 18, Anderson 2) The nightwatchman Jimmy Anderson survives a massive LBW shout second ball. It turned a mile off leg stump to hit the back pad, and I'm not sure why Aleem Dar rejected that appeal. Perhaps he thought it turned too much. We don't have Hawkeye on the replays in this series because it is evil, but I reckon that was out. In fact I'd put my last Rolo on that being out. That wicket of Compton was Ashwin's 50th in only his ninth Test. No Indian has ever reached that milestone so quickly.


WICKET! England 29-2 (Anderson c Gambhir b Ojha 2) Well this is fun. Anderson, dropped a ball earlier, has fallen to Ojha. He propped forward defensively and got a thick inside-edge onto the pad that looped up in the air. Gambhir at short leg dived forward onto the pitch to take an excellent one-handed catch.

15th over: England 29-2 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 17, Trott 0) The tour of India in 1992-93 is generally seen as the most abject in England's history. They only lost 3-0 then. You can get 6-1 on India winning the series 4-0 hashtagjustsayin'.

WICKET! England 30-3 (Trott c Pujara b Ashwin 0) We always knew it was going to be like this. England are being spun to death for the 477th time this year. Trott has gone for a duck, a stiff-wristed inside-edge onto pad and into the hands of Pujara at short leg. A totally routine dismissal. It was another good delivery from Ashwin that gripped sharply on the pitch. India should ask for the extra half-hour here; they only need another 17 wickets!

16th over: England 31-3 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 18, Pietersen 1) Welcome back Kevin.

17th over: England 40-3 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 22, Pietersen 5) Yuvraj Singh is brought on, just for Kevin Pietersen. His first ball is a disgraceful piece of garbage that Pietersen swats for four, and Cook cuts another boundary off the last delivery. He has played really well in this difficult mini-session. There is one over remaining in the day.

18th over: England 41-3 (need 322 to avoid the follow-on; Cook 22, Pietersen 6) Cook does well to repel a quicker, straighter ball from the excellent Ashwin, and England have survived the last 15 balls of the day without losing a wicket. I'm not sure what else to say. The whole game has gone exactly as we thought it would. England trail by 480 runs and there is no way they are saving this game. They will do well to take it to a fifth day; they might not even take it to a fourth. A lot of people will say that this is just what happens when England tour India, but actually that's not the case. Although they have only one Test here in the last 15 years, England have been reasonably competitive in that time. This is starting to resemble the nadir of 1992-93, and it might be wise to brace yourself for a similar humiliation over the next few weeks. I'm off to hibernate until December 17. Bye!

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