I hate myself, my body, everything.

victoriadance13's picture

I hate myself, my body, everything.


For example, I remember in June our school had an 8th grade pool party for a field trip. So, we went to a pool club. I remember seeing all of these girls in my grade, in their bikinis, and I got really jealous of them. I began to feel really insecure because I was wearing a bikini too, and I instantly wished that I never bought the bikini in the first place. I just wanted to go hide in a corner from everyone else and disappear.

I've never been asked out by a boy in my school before, and it's clear that it's because of my appearance. The other day a boy in my grade, who goes to the same school, was messaging me on Facebook and telling me I was cute. Of course, he tells me afterwards, that it was a joke. And he tells me, that I'm ugly. I'm used to being called "ugly" and "fat" by kids in my school, but it hurts a lot and it gets to me. I've been called so much more, and I find it funny how people who know the least about you, have the most to say.

I'm a really quiet and independent person when I'm in school, because I just hate everyone in the grade since they're all jerks, and so judgmental. Anyways, because I'm quiet, people mistake me for being stupid, and ignorant. I usually get good grades though. I just wish that people weren't so critical. Well, next year I'm going to be a freshman in high school and to be honest, I have the feeling high school is gonna suck. :(