Author's Note

Okay...this is the third one-shot in my True Twilight: A Doctor's Work is Never Done series. This one is entitled, "Sort of a House Call," and it's about an unannounced visit to Sookie's house...and Dr. Cullen's offer to help out her friend Bubba.

Please note...for those of you who are new readers to my stories...go back and read, True Twilight: New Home, as it is the first installment of the series and will explain what the hell is happening here (not reading from the start will probably have you REALLY confused).

1 – True Twilight: New Home - complete

2 – True Twilight: Leah's New Sam – in progress (three chapters posted)

3 – True Twilight: A Doctor's Work is Never Done – a series of one-shots (three posted at this time: "Why Me?" "Only Time Heals Ancient Wounds," and "Sort of a House Call")

And finally...FYI..."Sort of a House Call" is NOT related (in a continuous way) to previous one shots in this series—except that it's set in my alternate world where the Cullens have moved to Bon Temps, Louisiana and happen to know Sookie Stackhouse—so please don't send me PMs asking where Jessica Hamby Compton is...though this story has many recurring characters, THIS story is about Bubba...sort of!

Rating – This one shot does not have an M rating, because it's clean. =) Sorry if you wanted smut. I like smut too, but not everything that comes out of me is smut. *grin*

Posted: Saturday, 16 October 2010 (4,679 words/18.25 double-spaced pages in Word)

#3 – "Sort of a House Call"

"I don't know about this...outfit," Marcus said as he looked down questioningly at what he was wearing—dark jeans (almost black), a charcoal gray turtleneck sweater with suede elbow patches, and a pair of Camper Alfies (loafer style) in "Oceano" gray—not his usual all (or mostly) black and billowing cloak.

He'd been staying at the Cullen house in Bon Temps, Louisiana for exactly three days and Alice Cullen had already had her way with his wardrobe. That first night, and right to his face (odd because people rarely spoke directly to him), she'd scowled and said his clothing was archaic and atrocious—and that she'd need to do something about his overall appearance immediately. After that night, he'd not seen what he'd arrived in because the very next day packages were already piling up on the front porch.

And further, before the sun could even set that next day, the tiny woman had manhandled him into a chair (not too hard on him, since he was used to sitting in one for long periods of time in Volterra—and because the chairs in the Cullen house were most comfortable), to go to work on his hair. He'd flatly refused a hair cut, but had agreed to a trim, telling her he'd have her head if she so much as removed a centimeter. Alice had actually giggled at that, saying, "Yeah right," as she snipped away at vampire speed, finishing in a matter of seconds. She'd hardly taken anything off (she knew better than anyone that altering one's hair length was a permanent condition), but was quite satisfied with the change, however slight it may be. She'd wanted to add some highlights too, but the stuffy old vampire'd put his foot down to that as well.

And now, standing in the Cullen living room, after spending at least three hours in front of the full-length mirror in the room he'd been given (on the third floor, with Jasper and Alice on one side of him and Emmett and Rosalie on the other), Marcus fingered the edge of his wool/cashmere sweater. "This garment feels...strange. And these," he said, indicating his jeans, "are constricting."

Sitting on the arm of one of the living room couches, Emmett grinned. "You look molto smart, man,"

Marcus ignored the huge man. "Are these trousers meant to be so...tight?"

Jacob snickered. "Isn't he a bit old for skinny jeans, Alice?"

Alice glared at Jacob. "They are not skinny jeans!" she snapped, then glanced at the Volturi man and frowned. "Just a little snug. Do you really hate them?"

Marcus took a few steps, then gave a slight shrug (which was just barely visible). "They will do, I suppose," he droned.

Alice smiled.

"I do like the shoes though," Marcus continued.

Alice's smile widened to show most of her gleaming white teeth.

"But...I miss my cloak."

At this, Alice rolled her eyes. "For the most part, Marcus, people don't wear cloaks in this century," she said.

"I am not...people," he replied, his tone flat.

Jacob snorted. "That's for sure."

Ignoring the shifter's rudeness, Alice went on, "Well, you can't go around all Goth, you're much too old for that. You gotta get with the times, Marcus."

"I don't know," Jacob interjected mockingly. "The getup he's wearing in that painting in Carlisle's office is prit-tee stylish."

Bella giggled at this. "Yeah, and maybe knee-length coats with gold embroidery, lace-trimmed waistcoats, breeches, and stockings will all make a come back," she said sarcastically.

Jacob snorted. "Not likely."

Marcus frowned. "Why does the watch dog insist on speaking when not spoken to?"

At this Jacob frowned. "Hey!" he growled at the same time Rosalie snorted, then muttered, "I've been wondering that for a few years now," while Bella's high-pitched laugh rang around them.

"Alice is right, Marcus," Carlisle cut in. "You would stand out far too much in what you were wearing. This will help you blend."

Snorting again, then gesturing at the man, Rosalie said. "Like that's gonna help! Now he just looks like Dracula visiting the 21st century. He couldn't stand out more if you put him in a tutu."

Both Emmett and Jacob cringed. "Now there's something I'd rather not see," the large vampire said.

"Well, I like it," Renesmee added. She was sitting beside Esme on the couch watching everyone. "And I like your new hair too. It's much better. Auntie Alice did a great job!"

At this Alice beamed. "See? I told you."

Turning to look in the wall mirror again, Marcus examined his reflection. Then, still looking in the mirror, his gaze went to the child. "Do you think so, little one?" Since he'd not allowed much of a change to his hair, Alice had pulled it back into a low ponytail, to get it off his face (not that it helped), but it felt odd.

"Definitely," Renesmee said with a sweet smile and emphatic nod.

"Are we gonna get the show on the road here or what? I'm starving!" Emmett burst enthusiastically.

At this, Marcus reached for his throat and made a face (which, on his pasty translucent skin, looked ghastly). "Are you sure animals will suffice, my old friend?" he asked Carlisle, obviously unsure.

Carlisle chuckled. "We've been doing it for many, many years now. And, most of us will be with you...just in case."

Marcus frowned. After days of consuming the bottled synthetic blood—and not being permitted a human (they were strangely adamant about this—he'd thought their resolve would be less)—he felt empty, his throat burning with thirst, and his cloudy eyes, except for an almost glowing reddish ring, as black as pitch.

Seeing this and understanding, Edward nodded. "We'll drive first, to get away from the humans, then hunt whatever we can find," he said as he reached for Bella to kiss her goodbye (she, along with Renesmee, Jacob, Seth, and Esme, were staying behind).

"See that you do!" Jacob said sternly—he was still struggling with Marcus staying under the same roof. It seemed wrong to him that the Cullens were allowing this—especially after what he and his blood-sucking cronies had pulled three years prior. That entire episode still thoroughly irked the crap out of him. And, though the Volturi man hadn't done anything wrong (yet), Jacob's entire purpose centered on protecting humans from vampires—and Marcus (leech that he was), until just this month had been murdering humans for over three thousand years. What was a month of abstinence compared to that? In Jacob's eyes, the bloodsucker could never make up for his crimes against humanity—and he was confused about the faith Carlisle had in the man. How could the Cullen patriarch trust the ancient (and apparently unfeeling) vampire from Volterra? How could any of them trust him? he wondered, a worried glance going to Renesmee—who sat there twirling her long bronze curls and watching with interest—then back to the newcomer. It seemed obvious to Jacob that the man wouldn't think twice about going out to dine on any poor unsuspecting human he could get—if he were allowed.

But he hadn't been allowed, for which Jacob was thankful. The Cullens hadn't permitted the man to leave the house—this would be the first adventure out and Jacob feared the worst (just as he had when Bella had been turned). "I'd really hate to have to tear apart and burn the newest member to the household."

"Yeah, sure you would," Rosalie grumbled at the same time that Jasper said, "Don't worry, Jacob, we've got this." Jasper gave one of his quirky (manipulative) smiles, then sent out a wave of calm that, at first, had Jacob placated, and then had him growling—Jacob hated being manipulated by the bloodsuckers.

"Well, shall we go then?" Carlisle asked, making a sweeping gesture toward the door—in hopes of putting an end to the bickering before it became more that it had to be.

Everyone nodded as they headed for the back door (and their enormous garage)—only to be halted by Edward before they could even cross the space between house and the structure that housed their vehicles. Cocking his head, Edward Cullen listened.

http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=judcSt6HBvo&feature=related

You look like an angel
Walk like an angel
Talk like an angel
But I got wise

You're the devil in disguise

Oh yes you are
The devil in disguise

"What is it, Edward?" Rosalie asked. She'd gone into a crouch when her brother froze—as had the others (years of living together made the group very in tune with one another), but she was the most wary when Edward reacted to things.

You fooled me with your kisses
You cheated and you schemed
Heaven knows how you lied to me
You're not the way you seemed

"It's coming from Sookie's front yard," Edward informed his family. Then, cocking his head, he turned and disappeared.

"Should we stay here?" Carlisle asked Alice, not wanting to expose Sookie Stackhouse (or any humans) to their hungry guest.

Frowning for a second, Alice tried to focus. At first she grimaced. "Not again," she mumbled with a roll of her eyes. "She really is just like our Bella." But then a smile formed and, looking back at Carlisle, Alice shook her head. "Nope, we'll be good," she said. "You though, have a house call to make."

"Is Sookie injured?" Carlisle asked with concern.

Alice shrugged. "Sort of, but we're not going there to help her."

"Should I get my medical bag?"

Alice laughed, then shook her head. "Nope. Won't be necessary."


Standing in the shadows near Sookie Stackhouse's home, the Cullens (plus Marcus) stared at the spectacle saw before them—a grotesquely large male vampire (of the other kind) was zipping around Sookie's yard (in the way that only a vampire could do), chasing after a tiny black cat.

"You look like an angel. Walk like an angel," he sang quietly as he stalked the cat. "Talk like an angel. But I got wise. You're the devil in disguise," he sang as he picked up speed to match the song—humming as he zig-zagged around the trees after the elusive feline.

Oh yes you are
The devil in disguise

I thought that I was in heaven
But I was sure surprised
Heaven help me, I didn't see
The devil in your eyes

Then, coming to a complete stop behind a tree, the vampire went back to stalking—and singing quietly.

"You look like an angel. Walk like an angel. Talk like an angel. But I got wise," he sang as he shot around a tree in fast pursuit.

You're the devil in disguise
Oh yes you are
The devil in disguise

You're the devil in disguise
Oh yes you are
The devil in disguise
Oh yes you are
The devil in disguise

Completely unwinded (because vampires don't need to breathe, of course), the man stopped when the cat ran right up a tree trunk and onto a very high branch. Smiling viciously, he switched to another song.

http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=vU8qKOKaTXI&feature=related

"You can shake an apple off an apple tree. Shake-a, shake- sugar," he sang as he shook the thick tree trunk. "But you'll never shake me. Uh-uh-uh. No-sir-ee, uh, uh. I'm gonna stick like glue. Stick because I'm. Stuck on you.

"Gonna run my fingers thru your long black hair," he went on, running his hands through his own. "Squeeze you tighter than a grizzly bear. Uh-uh-uh. Yes-sir-ee, uh, uh. I'm gonna stick like glue. Stick, because I'm. Stuck on you."

Then, jumping up to the branch, he continued. "Hide in the kitchen, hide in the hall. Ain't gonna do you no good at all. 'Cause once I catch ya and the kissin' starts. A team o' wild horses couldn't tear us apart.

"Try to take a tiger from his daddy's side. That's how love is gonna keep us tied. Uh-uh-uh. Yes-sir-ee, uh, uh. I'm gonna stick like glue. Stick, because I'm. Stuck on you.

"Hide in the kitchen, hide in the hall. Ain't gonna do you no good at all. 'Cause once I catch ya and the kissin' starts," he sang, bouncing on the branch (sort of dance-like) with perfect balance. And then, quicker than a blink, his hand shot out, catching the cat (he'd obviously only been toying with before) and hugging it to his chest as he continued with, "A team o' wild horses couldn't tear us apart"—and then went on humming.

Try to take a tiger from his daddy's side
That's how love is gonna keep us tied
Yes-sir-ee, uh,uh
I'm gonna stick like glue
Stick, because I'm
Stuck on you.

"BUBBA! Drop. My. CAT!" Sookie screamed shrilly as she ran down her front steps.

Blinking, the man did exactly as asked (because he took commands quite literally). Dropping the black cat from about twenty-three feet up, he then gracefully dropping down to the ground himself and smiled at the blonde woman charging toward him.

Upset, Sookie rushed forward and scooped up her new pet—which hissed and clawed her forearm, causing her to wince—then glared at the cat-stalking vampire. "Bubba, what the fuck are you doin?" she demanded.

"Ahh, Sookie, I'm so sorry. Eric sent me to tell you that he wouldn't be over tonight—that something came up—but I...I got hungry. I didn't know she was yours," he said with a nod at the cat in her arms (and the bloody scratch there).

Eyeing the large man, Sookie frowned. "Well, hands off, mister! Tina Marie's mine!" Then, cuddling her new cat, she spoke to the feline. "It's okay, Marie. Bubba won't try to eat you again. I promise," she said as she turned from the man. Jogging up the steps and into her house, Sookie went to her pantry—to get treats for her kitty—not hearing the man's humming.

http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=NupAWDO6axE&feature=related

A very old friend came by today
'Cause he was telling everyone in town
About the love that he just found

"And Marie's the name, of his latest flame," he sang aloud.

He talked and talked and I heard him say

"That she had the longest blackest hair
The prettiest green eyes anywhere
And Marie's the name, of his latest flame," mumbled Bubba.

Though I smiled the tears inside were a-burning
I wished him luck and then he said goodbye
He was gone but still his words kept returning
What else was there for me to do but cry

Would you believe that yesterday
This girl was in my arms and swore to me
She'd be mine eternally

"And Marie's the name, of his latest flame."

Though I smiled the tears inside were a-burning
I wished him luck and then he said goodbye
He was gone but still his words kept returning
What else was there for me to do but cry

Would you believe that yesterday
This girl was in my arms and swore to me
She'd be mine eternally
And Marie's the name, of his latest flame

Yeah Marie's the name, of his latest flame

Oh Marie's the name, of his latest flame

Coming out again, Sookie saw Bubba at the bottom of her steps, sort of pacing—and humming (one of his own songs, she noted with a small smile)—and waited for him to notice her presence before speaking.

"And Marie's the name, of his latest flame," the large vampire sang quietly as he looked up at the woman. "Sookie," he said with a nod.

"What were you thinking?" she asked, her arms folded over her breasts. She was angry with the man, but also knew he was not...right. He was one that definitely should not have been transformed. Crazy morgue attendant! she thought.

His brows pinching together, Bubba frowned. "I never woulda gone after your Marie, Sookie," he said, glancing at the black cat she'd put down on her porch. "If I'd known she belonged to someone, that is."

"Oh, bullshit, Bubba!" Sookie snapped with frustration, her hand now on her hips. "House cats almost always belong to someone. You can't just go around eating them!"

Bubba looked mortified—and sad. "I was hungry," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Damned vampires!" Sookie continued. "Always hungry. Don't they provide you with enough TruBlood."

Bubba face screwed up and he shuddered. "I like cats."

Rolling her eyes, Sookie started to respond—then, hearing a twig snap, she looked up and saw several appear from the trees. Approaching slowly, their golden eyes almost glowing in the moonlight—it could only be the Cullens—she sighed. Twig snap, my ass, she thought. Knowing these people could be as silent as they saw fit, she knew they must have wanted to be heard.

"She doesn't believe me," Bubba mumbled to himself as the newcomers neared, inching away because he didn't like strangers very much.

"Stay right there!" Sookie hissed before the man could completely disappear (she wasn't finished with him)—he immediately halted (about ten feet from her) and started humming again.

http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=MtsmuVA0m7c&feature=related

We're caught in a trap.
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby

Why can't you see
What you're doing to me

"When you don't believe a word I say?" Bubba crooned.

Ignoring him, Sookie looked the Cullens over nervously, nodding when they (plus one she didn't know, and didn't want to—she could see the glowing red rings around his hungry black eyes and knew what that meant) stopped some distance away. Standing in front were Carlisle and Edward Cullen, with the rest just slightly behind—Emmett and Jasper flanking the red-eyed man, their wives on either side of them. Oh great! she thought with a quick glance at Bubba.

We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams

"On suspicious minds," Bubba mumbled.

"Good evening, Sookie," Carlisle Cullen greeted her pleasantly, then let his eyes drift to the man standing behind her. "Is everything all right?"

Glancing at Bubba, then back at the Cullens, Sookie shrugged. "Oh sure. Everything's great," she replied as she remembered her cat scratch and put a hand over it.

Looking skeptical, Carlisle tipped his head toward Edward. "We heard...a commotion...over here and decided we should drop say hello. I hope we're not intruding."

So, if an old friend I know
Drops by to say hello
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?

"Oh! Oh no," Sookie said with a shake of her head. "You're always welcome, Carlisle. All of you are," she said—then frowned at the red-eyed man who, though he looked utterly bored, was thinking about how thirsty he was (and about how delicious she looked). Swallowing, Sookie wondered if he could smell her blood from where he was. She got her answer from Edward, who gave a slight nod and telepathically sent her a yes, we all can.

"I...I'm just...having a chat with a friend," she finally said, smiling nervously as she nodded toward her "friend"—Bubba. "He was just...admiring my new cat, Marie," she said, slipping her bleeding arm behind her back and eyeing both the red-eyed man—and Jasper, who'd once almost attacked her, but who was now just standing there, his body tense as he focused on the man between himself and Emmett Cullen.

More skeptical looks were cast at the man behind her—Bubba was pacing now.

Here we go again
Asking where I've been
You can't see these tears are real
I'm crying

Edward's brow rose. Are you sure everything's fine? he thought, knowing the telepath would hear him.

"I know it looks bad, but...he's harmless," Sookie whispered. "Really."

We can't go on together
With suspicious minds.
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds

"Just not entirely...right," she went on, tapping her index finger to her temple. "If you know what I mean. But really, he's a teddy bear."

And with that, the 'not right' man changed tunes.

http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=41hIU-oyO24&feature=related

Baby let me be,
your lovin' Teddy Bear
Put a chain around my neck,
and lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Your teddy bear

"So, what're ya'll up to this evening?" Sookie asked casually, her eyes shifting once again to the man with red-ringed eyes.

Edward and Carlisle exchanged looks, clearly trying to figure out what to tell their human neighbor.

"I don't wanna be a tiger," Bubba sang.

Cause tigers play too rough
I don't wanna be a lion
'Cause lions ain't the kind
you love enough.
Just wanna be, your Teddy Bear

Rolling her eyes, Sookie almost laughed. "Hello...telepath standing right here. No need to keep secrets."

"She's right, you know," Alice piped in, obviously speaking to Carlisle and Edward. "We're taking Marcus here on his first vegetarian hunt," she gleefully informed Sookie as she extended a hand toward the stranger. "Sookie, this is Marcus of Volterra. He's almost like royalty," she said gaily—then silently gave some more information. Most of us don't like him much. Then, turning to the man, Alice went on. "And Marcus, this is Sookie Stackhouse, our neighbor and new friend." Pausing then, she frowned. "She is not food...under any circumstances," she said at the same time that Bubba sang another line—"Put a chain around my neck."

And lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Your teddy bear

Listening closely to Alice, the red-eyed man named Marcus stood completely still as the tiny woman spoke, then turned his gaze on the blonde human—and licked his lips before speaking. "Good evening, Sookie Stackhouse...who is...not entirely human," he said, his tone completely flat.

Sookie frowned, but didn't respond to him (other than to nod)—then she looked at the others. "Hi guys."

Both Jasper and Rosalie gave a polite hello nod (much like she'd given Marcus, but more friendly), Alice grinned, and Emmett waved. "Hey, Sook! How's it goin'?"

"Things are...fine, Emmett," the blonde responded with a smile. "Same shit, different day."

Emmett chuckled. "Isn't that the truth."

Baby let me be, around you every night
Run your fingers through my hair,
And cuddle me real tight

Oh let me be
Your teddy bear

During all of this, Edward stood there, his brow wrinkled with confusion. He was following the conversation, but also paying close attention to the dark-haired, not right, singing and humming, vampire man who was Sookie's "friend." Finally, he had to say something "Sookie? Is he El—"

"BUBBA!" Sookie all but shouted.

"El Bubba?" Emmett questioned with a frown. "Is that code for something?"

Smiling, Edward nodded his understanding—Sookie was silently telling him the gory details (or what she knew of them) about Bubba.

I don't wanna be a tiger
Cause tigers play too rough

"I don't wanna be a lion," Bubba crooned.

'Cause lions ain't the kind
you love enough.
Just wanna be, your Teddy Bear
Put a chain around my neck
and lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Your teddy bear

"It is code for something?" Emmett persisted—after which he received a jab to the ribs from his wife (Rosalie'd somehow figured it out—who except Emmett wouldn't figure it out).

"What?" the oblivious man went on. "What'd I say?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes, but didn't get a chance to say anything, because Bubba's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Oh let me be. Your teddy bear. I just wanna be, your teddy bear.

"Bubba?" Sookie said, when the man's song had come to an end.

He seemed to focus then. "Yes, Sookie?"

Raising her hand, the blonde woman beckoned. "Come. Meet my new neighbors," she said. Then, lowering her voice to just above a whisper, she tried to coax the shy man. "They're really nice, Bubba. Please come meet them."

Unsure of strangers, Bubba eyed them warily, then slowly moved forward to join Sookie, giving each a friendly smile as Sookie gave him their names.

"And this is Bubba," Sookie told the Cullens. "He doesn't live around here, but...he visits me sometimes." Then smiling, she looked at the visiting vampire. "Do you mind if I tell them what's happened this evening," she asked Bubba politely.

Bubba shifted (uncomfortably) from one foot to the other, then shrugged and glanced away—though he did not blush, he looked quite embarrassed.

"Bubba here," Sookie said, indicating the man avoiding eye contact with them, "was trying—"

"Trying?" Bubba said with a snort and a chuckle. "And I'd have had her too, when I was ready." Then, seeing the blonde woman's irritated look, he took several steps back and pretended interest in something else.

Trying to calm herself, Sookie sighed, then continued. "Bubba was...stalking my new cat, make a snack out of her. But I caught him and made him stop."

"Way to go, Sook!" Emmett burst with a grin. "I didn't know you were so adept at fighting. Maybe we could give it a go sometime, eh?" he said, giving the air a few punches.

At this Rosalie rolled her eyes—but Alice laughed. "That might not be such a bad idea, Sookie. Emmett here could use a dose of...whatever that is that comes out of your hands."

Sookie frowned—as did Bubba. Seemingly focused now, he said, "Sookie and I did not...fight. I would never..." The vampire shook is head as if aghast by the very thought of striking a woman. Then, to the woman, he "I'm so sorry, Sookie," he said, immediately appearing at her side, his eyes pleading. "I was just so hungry, know how much I don't like that bottled stuff...or humans." He shuddered, as if disgusted by the very thought of drinking from an actual person.

Grabbing his arm, Sookie squeezed tight. "Relax, Bubba. I understand. And, as long as you promise not to hunt Marie ever again, I'm not angry."

At this Bubba's face split into a wide grin that was almost handsome. "Oh. Thank you, Sookie! Thank you very much!

"Sookie," Carlisle couldn't help interrupting. "Am I hearing correctly? Bubba here is hungry—he's not getting enough to eat?"

Sookie blinked. "Umm. Yeah, I guess. Basically."

"Well, we'd be happy to take him out with us," the Cullen patriarch offered with a smile, suddenly realizing what this "house call" was all about. It wasn't his doctoring skills needed here tonight, but instead his...parenting skills (for lack of a better term)—he'd be thrilled to guide another vampire to their way of surviving.

"Humph! I didn't even consider that," Sookie said. "Bubba?" she said, turning to the man beside her. "My new friends would like to take you out with them. They don't hunt humans," she said quickly when it looked like the man was ready to bolt. "Only animals."

"Only animals?" Bubba asked with disbelief.

All the Cullens (minus the red-eyed man) nodded.

"I've never met others who like animal blood," Bubba said.

Carlisle shrugged. "Animal blood's not really our favorite, Bubba," he admitted, "but we're dedicated to preserving human life. We call ourselves vegetarians. Would you like to come hunting with us?"

Smiling, Bubba's entire demeanor changed. "All right! I'd like that," he said. "But...I need to visit Bill Compton's house before I can go. I have some things for him," he said as he whipped out some papers, seemingly from nowhere.

Carlisle Cullen smiled. "We can wait."

"Oh, thank you!" Bubba burst. "Thank you very much," he said as he turned and started away—starting in on yet another song.

http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=cWdU6sFf4Qo&feature=related

Wise men say
only fools rush in

but I can't help
falling in love with you.

Shall I stay
would it be a sin

if I can't help
falling in love with you.

Chuckling as Bubba scampered off, Edward looked at Sookie and said, "You know he's in love with you, right?"

Staring, in complete disbelief, Sookie Stackhouse shook her head. "Get the fuck out!" she finally burst. "Not another one! What is it with vampires!"

The End (of THIS one shot—more to follow in this thread)

Author's POST Script

Okay...for those of you who don't know who Bubba is (or haven't figured it out yet)'s what Wikipedia has to say about Bubba:

Bubba is Elvis Presley in vampire form. A morgue attendant who was a vampire and a big fan discovered the King slightly alive. The misguided vampire decides to make the overdosed Elvis undead, but the resulting creature, answering only to "Bubba", is brain damaged by or before the process. The other vampires treat him as a dimwitted errand boy and try to keep him out of the public and clear of any household pets, as he likes to drink the animals' blood (cats being a particular favourite). Bubba is always cheerful, goodwill radiating from his fearsome smile. (But never call him Elvis.) He will sing only when he feels like it. In the third novel, Club Dead, Sookie says that "though every now and then, he exhibited a streak of shrewdness" he follows directions quite literally.

Author's Response to Questions, Comments, and Reviews (here's to hoping ya'll will come back and read them)

Twilightdragoness (10/17/2010) – Uh... hmm... well... Oh my. Sookie spill a bottle of vamp attracting pheromones on herself at some point in her past or something? Cause I think her last statement pretty much sums it all up. *~*~*~* LOL. Well, Dragoness...if you've read the Southern Vampire Mysteries, then you know that the SVM vamps are EXTREMELY attracted to those with fairy blood. And in True Blood (season 3), Claudine, Sookie's fairy godmother, who's also her cousin (1st cousin once removed, to be exact), says that the vampires "want to steal their light." So...I guess Bubba wants her like every other vamp does...though my Twilight vampires seem to be immune to the draw. =)

Twilightdragoness (10/17/2010) – Also I'm surprised no one mentioned Marcus' age to her. I still hope he'll make the main story and have a run in with Eric, but that might just be my desire to see Eric deal with someone that out ranks him by a ton, since his kind put great value on age. *~*~*~* Honestly, I agree with you, my dear...I love sticking it to the arrogant Eric! Hehe. But, we'll just have to wait and see if "Leah's New Sam" weaves it's way into January. As for not mentioning Marcus' age...their focus wasn't really on Marcus (except to protect Sookie from him should he be unable to restrain himself)...they were draw there because of Bubba's singing—this one was Bubba's story. =)

And thanks to the following members who have added my story to his/her "favorites" and/or "story alerts" – gundamraven, AmayaElika, Adipocere, Sakura Lisel, . . .