How to help convince my dad that the 30ish minute drive is worth it...

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  • How to convince a father to drive two hours

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    03-15-2011, 10:22 PM

So I am possibly getting a working student (more groom in training) position under a really good hunter/jumper trainer. I need some way to convince my dad that the drive is worth it though. It is going to be about a 30-40 minute drive from his house. I would be going out 3-4 times a week, working 6 hours a day. I would be working under two different trainers and would be able to ride a lot of different horses. It would be a dream come true (I was running around the house jumping up and down when I found out about it).

I would finally get the chance to become the rider I KNOW I am. I really want to do this.... I just don't know how to convince my dad. I am 15 and a half and will be getting my license asap (and a job). He would only have to get me there for the next four or five months and then I could take myself.

Here are some pictures of Lisa at Thermal (2011). :)

I REALLY want this.... Any tips on how to convince him?

Sorry for harassing you guys for advice so much recently.... I just don't really have any other adults (or other people besides my two best friends) to get input/feedback from. "/
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    03-15-2011, 10:23 PM
Lisa would be my main trainer, by the way. She shows jumpers (though she mostly trains jumpers). I would be getting hunter training. :)
    03-15-2011, 10:36 PM
I'm sorry, girly :( -hugs-

I know how you feel. I couldn't take lessons (even once a week, for christ's sake!) even if it were 10 mins from the house until I could drive and I had a job to pay for them myself. Even when I was 16, there were still opportunities that I could not accept because I was not 18 and my mom wouldn't let me travel by myself.

I hate to be negative, but really I can't blame your dad. That is a long time to drive and a lot of gas. If he works, or does anything, even 3 days a week is almost impossible. It would be time-consuming and inconvenient for him. It would be more reasonable if it were a job and you could pay him x amount of money each week for gas, but you're not getting any money.

Most people don't understand true passion for something, especially the non-horse person to the horse person. I always told my mom: "I have so much raw passion an potential, but no one to form it into something." I felt like I was wasting what natural talent I did have. It sucks! But you can only work with what you already have.

Why don't you tell that barn that you would love to commit to them, but you can't at this point? Tell them you will have your liscence in a few months and you can do it then. As impossible as it may seem, there WILL be another opportunity. When I was 16, I REALLY wanted to do a summer internship with this awesome barn, but I couldn't until I was 17. I waited a year, then FINALLy I could do it. I called them back, and they said they had a spot, just for me :)

This is really jumbled and filled with random rantings, but hopefully you got something out of it :)
    03-15-2011, 11:06 PM
Well, he was okay with me leasing a mare (no training or anything, just riding her) tha was 20 minutes away and I would have had to be out there at least twice a week. I am going to wait a little bit before bringing it up with him. I just wanted to see if there anyone had any tips. ;)
    03-15-2011, 11:22 PM
Oh, I was under the impression he had already said no!

Well, good luck!
    03-15-2011, 11:30 PM
Oh, no! I haven't even brought it up yet. Hehe. I am always nervous about asking my parents about stuff, so I like to see what other people think first. Hehe
    03-16-2011, 10:05 AM
Do you have another job? Can you offer to help out with gas? I would talk to him about WHY this would benefit you. And not even in a horse sort of way. But how it could help you develop further as a person, what it may benefit you in the future. Perhaps maybe how good it might look on a college application?
    03-16-2011, 10:15 AM
Driving 40 minutes 4 times a day 4 days a week is a LOT of driving for something your Dad has absolutely no interest in. That's a total of 10.5+ hours of driving and gas (which is EXTREMELY expensive right now) per week and I wouldn't blame him for saying no. It's only a few more months until you get your license and can drive yourself (cutting the driving time and gas in half since you wont be dropping off and picking up) so if he says no I wouldn't push it. You've only got a few more months to go. I wouldn't even consider boarding my own horses that far away due to all the driving, and I'd only be driving there and back once a day!
    03-17-2011, 07:41 PM
First off, I would try and explain to your dad exactly why this is such a huge opportunity, and why it is so important to you. Then I would let him know that whatever responsibilities that you have at home will not be left undone (and maybe offer to help him out a little more, if you can. Sorry, I don't know how much you already do). Then I would ask him if there was anything in particular he would want you to do in exchange.
Hope this works out for you, it sounds really great!
    03-17-2011, 08:45 PM
As a parent and the bill payer - my main issue would be the gas money. It is so very very expensive and is only set to rise. The driving time isnt so much an issue as - we live rural so I drive that to get to the supermarket, well to get anywhere really - but if you arnt used to it then it can be an issue.

I drive my little brother into university three times a week which is a 50min drive each way - and he pays me in gas, or babysits my son for me, cooks meals , cleans my car if it needs doing (this benefits him also as he is grossly embarassed if I pick him up in my car coverd in mud and reeking of animal! That is considered seriously uncool apparantly) mows the lawns - anything that needs doing and helps out.

Mybe that's somthing you could do? Find little jobs around the house that would help your dad out to save him time , the lawns is a huge one for me - we have a massive bank which is very steep and extensive gardens that is very time consuming and I have a bad back which makes it harder - so my brother doing them once a month in the winter and once a fortnight in the summer is real bonus!. When he has 10$ spare he will often chuck it my way for gas - or instead buy a bottle of milk/bread/cheese for us - all of which are expensive - theyre little things , but it is a really nice gesture that he is atleast showing his appreciation , heck he wanted a lift so badly that he even volunteered to scrub out the hen house!!

Look for places that you can help , if your dad is driving all that way - the last thing he is going to want to do is cook tea/wash up - maybe that's somthing that you can offer to do , so that when he gets home he can just relax , or you could make a meal in the slow cooker (theyre not very expensive if you havnt got one can you can cook everything from soup to roast chicken in them - im deeply in love with mine) so that he can just walk in and eat staright away. Coming home to a house that smell of dinner is utterly divine on a cold wet and miserable day.

Just an idea anyway - if all else fails , kill him with kindness and maybe he'll bend :)

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