If there was one thing you could always count on, it was that if you, a red-blooded American male, were ever to experience the pain of hair loss, there would always be a strong, welcoming, American-owned Hair Club For Men for you to turn to. Well. Things have changed.

Does no one remember the many lessons that we should have learned from the foreboding Michael Crichton novel Rising Sun? The decline of the American empire will come not by uncontrollable flood nor asteroid strike, but from our own greed, hubris, and inability to read the history books in a little section called Who Did We Fight In World War Two Including Dropping a Huge Freaking Bomb And Don't You Think They've Been Wanting Some Revenge For That???

Hair Club For Men, trusty companion to the still-youthful-at-heart gentleman, has been sold. But to whom?

The unit's buyer is Aderans Co. of Japan, a company that has become the world's leading hair-care purveyor to the bald and balding.

Great, let's give Japan a monopoly on wigs and state-of-the-art hair replacement services. Great thinking, guys. Did your lawyer not tell you that the sectors with specific restrictions on foreign investments include transportation, communications, and energy—which exactly describes riding in your red Corvette convertible talking to the attractive woman that you just scored thanks to your lifelike hair replacement from Hair Club For Men?

Who really won the war? I guess that we will find out soon—in your hair (or lack thereof).