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Baby shower at a restaurant - etiquette ??

Posted 02/27/2012

I'm throwing a family-only shower for my sister. I'm thinking about having it at a restaurant. Family member houses are out for a variety of reasons. I'm flying in for this, so I can't do it at my house.

My question is: If I host a shower at a restaurant, does that mean I'm footing the bill as the host? I don't know if that's stupid or not, I haven't been to a ton of showers, and I've only been to showers at peoples' homes.

I've looked into having it at a park too, but currently the good ones are booked for the weekend that I need. I've already made my travel plans so the date can't be changed.

If anyone has any baby shower hosting words of wisdom, helpful websites, etc, I'd love to see it.

This is strange for me because I pretty much have to buy everything.



Comments (58)

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Posted 02/27/2012
I suppose it depends on how you go about doing it and inviting people. If I get a standard invitation in the mail for a shower I would not be expecting to pay for anything, except possibly alcohol depending on the situation. If it was a hey let's take Suzy out to celebrate before the baby comes I would expect to split the bill.



Posted 02/27/2012

If you are throwing the shower, regardless of WHERE, then YOU are paying for it. You are the hostess. Yes - if you have it at a restaurant, it's on your dime. For the love of all that is holy, do NOT send out invites and then mention that people have to pay their own way, or chip in $$ to pay.



DS 2004, DD 2011, 8 angel babies

CoParenting Tips - for StepMoms - for StepDads

Posted 02/27/2012
My friend from our of town hosted my baby shower at a restaurant. She paid for the lunches but didn't do games and prizes. ( fine by me.) it was at a wine bar so for those who were drinking wine they had to purchase their own.


Posted 02/27/2012

Yes you are footing the bill unless your mom or other siblings want to pitch in. 

Do NOT ask people to pay for their meals! 


Just call me Toaster (Old school gone incognito;)

Mom to 2 boys & Baby Girl (Nov 2012)!


Posted 02/27/2012

Yes, in that case you would pay for all the food.  I've been to two baby showers at restaurants and the hostess worked out a menu with the restaurant.  You could choose between a few items instead of having the whole menu available.  I don't know if there was a group discount or anything, but I'm sure it was pretty expensive to do it at a restaurant.

Posted 02/27/2012

Ditto Tina & Toast.

OP can you say what state this shower will be and maybe we can help you find another venue? Maybe you can rent out an event room and serve apps. I know I considered a garden club for my wedding and the prices were very cheap for just a few hours, plus you could bring in your own food and drinks. It wasn't big enough for a wedding but it would have been ideal for a shower.

Posted 02/27/2012

yep, you pay.  is there a bridal party?  Ive been in weddings wherethe bridal party chipped in.  Majority of them here the brides mom pays.



Posted 02/27/2012
Yes, you're on the hook for the whole bill. I even question having people pay for their own wine when choosing to hold it at a wine bar (?!)

People are bringing a gift; no one should pay to attend a party unless it's a potluck or something arranged in advance.

Overjizzinated Whore

Posted 02/27/2012
My mom and MIL did mine at a restaurant. They did it from like 2-4 and everyone chose a drink (nonalcoholic) and then they ordered a bunch of appetizers everyone shared. it was all family and close friends though.

Sam married to Ben

Bella Elizabeth : 4-1-10

Nolan Benjamin : 8-28-12

Posted 02/27/2012

The last shower I went to at a business was at a nail spa.  We all paid for what we wanted.  There might have been around 20 of us and they turned away other customers. 

How does your family normally do things? 

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