Thoughts on being that guy who never blogs.June 24, 2013 by

whoa what, it's been like three months since I've been on IGN. Not because I hate games or movies but because I'm now a first year at university. On that topic, you know what takes up like all of your time and leaves you with no social life? DOING MEDICAL SCIENCE AT UNIVERSITY. Like really I've been way to busy to sleep let alone blog. Then again who reads this anyway haha zing.

Well now it's the first day of my four week break, I feel like a prisoner being released like whoa the world has changed time to go out and have fun all day every day. That feeling passed quickly since I'm back on IGN within a few hours of my vacation. You know what I think I'll blog about game of thrones since I watched all of season 3 last night. Seriously that show is amazing.

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My unusual holiday season is just beginning. December 4, 2012 by

Flashback to a week ago, family is at dinner. Parents are making things, cause they always cook.

My burger looks kind of burnt, so I decide to inform my parents in a nice manner by saying "Are you sure this isn't charcoal?". At the same time my little brother christian was nibbling at the homemade cookies, and he said "Is there any ginger in these gingerbread cookies? or did we use dirt or something?".

My parents looked at us as if we'd just murdered a town full of petting zoo owners who also ran orphanages for sick children. Mom's like "we made this for you though". Okay, sounding like a spoil teenager right now. Well I am one but that's not the point, I was having a bad day, continuing on...

Dad says, tell you what, how about you guys make dinner for a week and see how easy it is. I reply with the fact that I'm on vacation but I didn't think that would work (Bombshell, it didn't). Since I've just got my provisional license. Christian and I hauled ass to the grocery store. Then I had a dramatic realization...

There's so much crap here, and I only know the 2-minute noodle section. Christian was patting some blind dudes guide dog. The actual blind guy came up behind him and said "hey can you not touch him please". I remember because Christian was so startled by the blind guy and I said "ha, guess you didn't see HIM coming".

Anyway, here's some fun facts. Did you know that a chicken's heart, live and neck are called "giblets"? and if you buy the whole chicken, the giblets come in a plastic bag inside? and if you roast the chicken with the giblets inside you'll be in a bit of a pickle? WELL ALL THAT SHIT HAPPENS PEOPLE. Oh and my parents STILL wanted us to cook even though we ended up eating 2 minute noodles.

Day 2 of our cooking challenge. Christian and I tried to make some nice muffins. Hey, muffins are great dinner and we got to choose what to cook so no judging. After we'd finished everyone made a keen two observations on our cupcakes. One: Paprika looks like Cinnamon. Two: Paprika does not taste like cinnamon. It was 2 minute noodles again, but I admire the determination of my parents to make us continue the next night.

Day 3. Now, this was getting ridiculous. WE CAN'T COOK ANYTHING. Christian and I decided on soup. That's gotta be easy right? mixing liquids? Ha! Blenders can do that right? Wrong. The lid wasn't on properly we spent most of dinner cleaning tomato soup off the kitchen walls. 2 minute noodles for the third time.

Cut back to now. My parents were like rocks on the "you have to make dinner thing". Well they were until a few minutes ago. Christian and I switched our lives to "easy" and tried age old toasted cheese sandwiches. I know I can do those for sure, but Christian messes up because he leaves the plastic wrapping on the cheese slices. It looked like what would happen if you stuck a knife into a person who had cheese for blood. Also I had a bit of an attitude towards my brother now.

As was kindly telling Christian to stop interfering, he says "you know I left those wrappers on right?, I was messing up the dinners all week so Mom and Dad won't make us do this shit". It occurred to me that our parents would never get us to make dinner again if we kept this up. "So it was you who left the giblets in?" "Yeah". "And you switched the cinnamon?". "Yeah". "And you didn't put the blender lid on?". "Nah that was you screwing up".

His plan actually worked. Dad's ordering pizza while I secretly blog about this now. I'm worried that a 13 year old could come up with a plan like that before me, but I'm never worrying about cooking again. At least for a few years anyway, but for now there's pizza. Life's good.



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