Tiger Woods Respectfully Asks Media To Refer To His Wife As "Hero" And Not "Club-Wielding Crazy Lady"

Tiger Woods was supposed speak with the FHP at 3 p.m. He canceled again, giving the reckless, irresponsible media one more day to speculate on what the hell happened early Friday morning. He did release a statement though.






In other Tiger melodrama news: the 911 tapes from a disoriented neighbor were released and Rachel Uchitel has retained a dragon-lady lawyer. Oh, and the National Enquirer has released pictures of Ashley Samson, Rachel's friend, who snitched to the tabloid about her friend's steamy relationship with "Bear."

Now, back to watching the Eagles lose to the goddamn Redskins.