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Name: Take a guess...
Gender: Male
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So if I hold a door open for my co-worker Kelsey...

I'm a "white knight," chauvinistic cretin who is just interested in sex and degrading women?

Hmm... Good to know.

Just one thing, though.

Kelsey is a man.

I hold doors. Male/female, straight/LGBT, white/black, any and all labels...

There's only one answer: I must be Capt. Jack Harkness, a 51st century pan-sexual!!!!!!1

If I only had the jawline...

Everyone needs to lighten up a bit (I know, it's hard with so many morons beating us over the head on the Internet) -- and this is my big point -- and treat other people as, well, PEOPLE. Even if they're blue, have funny pointy things on their heads and start every sentence with an annoying "Chan" and end it with "Do."

If some woman feels comfortable enough with herself to go for a ride in the Vomit Comet in a bikini while getting some sap to pay an equally-astronomical modeling fee, she should be allowed. Just like those opposed are allowed to not buy a stupid magazine using tits to boost its horrible circulation figures (people under 75 buy magazines still? I haven't paid money for porn in a decade, and that was as a joke when I turned 18). MODELING SHOULD NOT BE HER ONLY OPTION, BUT A CHOICE.

If a woman feels comfortable enough with herself and has the desire to serve, she should be allowed to carry a gun to defend this country (much like we found out in the Civil War how a black person could stop a bullet as well as a white one, women can do the same), and should be able to do it with reasonable equipment -- because body armor and other gear is made for men, which is bullshit. We spend $500 on an ashtray so it won't shatter on a submarine, you'd figure we could make body armor that accounts for smaller waists and boobs by now. There should also be reasonable standards for women (besides, soldiers carry too much shit already, and that's something every military watchdog study has said for decades).

If you do the same job, you should get the same pay. Anybody who argues with this is an idiot.

Truth be told, I have two "beefs" with outspoken proponents of certain interpretations of feminism. The real one is this (and it's very, very minor, so you get the idea): I wish my insurance would cover a vasectomy like getting my non-existent tubes tied, even though it's less invasive and cheaper. I want to be a responsible 20-something and take the burden off of any future partners -- because I care -- in that regard until we BOTH make the CHOICE to have a child.

Oh, wait. That makes me a white knight, too, and totally outweighs the real reason of me just not wanting any kids right now.

That's my other problem -- If I do something nice, it is assumed it MUST be for sex and degrading women to make my wiener all hard.

I don't want fucking kids. They're expensive and I'm broke. I like it when people hold the door for me, so I do it for other people in the off chance it sends a message to that person to do it for others. Eventually, if I do it enough, statistically someone will hold a door for me.

Like most Millennials, it's all about me.

EDIT: For clarification, this is aimed at everyone. Notice how I don't use the word "shrill" to describe someone who gets pissed over a door being held or a swimsuit photo shoot. That's labeling, worse than calling me a white knight for holding a door or stopping a rape. Was it Kierkegaard or Dick van Patten who said "If you label me, you negate me"?


Went to the local dollar store yesterday, and I bought a package of cheap cookies, a single-serving bag of Doritos, and a box of candy canes. The total was $3.08.

Gee, one thing must have been taxed. Which was it? The Doritos? The fudge-covered shortbread cookies?


The candy canes.


But in all seriousness, why aren't Doritos and cookies taxed in New York? WTF?

Growing up...

I was on the free and reduced programs through kindergarten to about eighth grade.

It sucked. I and all the others were judged. There were fights. I remember "Goddamned mother-fuckin' welfare rat" was the absolute be-all, end-all insult on the school bus.

<My mother had a (shitty) job, and dad did occasional contracting work, so I was one who "could" spew that hurtful filth. I spent more time than I care to remember on both ends of the problem.>

Many kids paid full price because their parents were too proud to file for free lunches -- because, as we all know, there is no such thing as a poor person in America; just momentarily-devalued millionaires.

I'm not cool with spending tax dollars on more tanks the Army doesn't want. I'm not cool with buying new invasion gear for Marines going to save a country for Halliburton.

But feeding children is worth it to me, especially if the system doesn't lead to the kinds of fights, shouting matches and other disruptions I remember from 20 years ago.

Silly question on priorities...

from the police blotter in my hometown paper today, but which one of these people should go to jail for the night? Which one should be ROR'd out an hour later?

"Stephanie ***, 21, of ***, was charged with criminal possession of a hypodermic instrument after allowing an officer to search her purse."


"Raymond ***, 36, of ***, was charged with second-degree menacing and petit larceny following a domestic incident when he stole a cell phone and threatened the owner. A temporary order of protection was issued against ***."

Then which one actually DID go to jail on $1,000 bail? The cooperative one with a piece of metal and plastic, or the wife beater?

So I opened my pay stub this morning...

It's my first day back to work this year (I've been sick with a stomach bug). I see my pay stub on my desk, so I crack it open...

And on my computer, Facebook asks me, "How's it going, Bob?"

My response:

"It's going kinda shitty, Facebook. I'm still sick, but decided to crawl back into work, and I just learned that after a year at my job, I now make $7 a week LESS than I did, just so I can pay more into a federal program that won't exist when I'm old enough to use it. But we can keep tax breaks for people making almost half a million dollars a year (or what I'll make in almost TWO MOTHERFUCKING DECADES!). Congress can go fuck themselves..."

Between this and the docking of my pay because my job (using my degree from a state school) can't fund my college loans, I'm making about what I did when I was at McDonald's in high school ($6.75 after taxes). Any tax refund at the federal or state level will go bye-bye before I even get it. I figure in about 60 years I should be paid off at my current rate of repayment. Oh, BTW, I've never had a credit card and my car was $450.00 cash out of a guy's yard, so I'm not living the high life on credit, either.

So... what the fuck is the point of all this? Seriously, I'm asking: what the FUCK is the point?

Don't ask me, I just work here...
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