• Zombie survival guide

    If the brain munchers descend on S.J., you'll be ready
  • How would San Joaquin County residents survive in a zombie apocalypse?
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      Even if a zombie apocalypse isn't on the horizon, the threat of emergency is very real. Visit sjgov.org/oes to find emergency information.
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    It's something you likely wouldn't have thought about 10 or so years ago.
    But that was before Max Brooks' "World War Z" was published.
    Before AMC's "The Walking Dead" made us rethink our views on the mindless creepers.
    And before the Atlanta-based Centers for Disease Control and Prevention added a popular "zombie preparedness" guide to its website with 80,000+ Facebook recommendations.
    Zombies are quite the topic now.
    That's not saying that a mass resurrection of the dead is imminent, but if it happens, will you be prepared?
    Have a plan of attack
    As with any emergency, it helps to plan.
    Remember in elementary school when you were taught what to do in case of fire? Some of the same rules apply here.
    Map out evacuation routes and a meeting place to regroup with loved ones. Plan backups. Consider that a route considered "failsafe" may, indeed, fail.
    Keep in mind that some people may face challenges.
    "People get trapped in their homes. You may have people who are wheelchair-bound or bed-bound," said Michael Cockrell, county director of emergency operations. "Know who in your neighborhood needs help. You don't want the zombies to get them."
    Or you.
    Pay attention to television and radio, and keep track of where the hazard is traveling. Mark emergency alert stations (KFBK 1530 AM and KSTN 91.5 FM) on your radios in advance.
    Emergency kits will help in a variety of situations, not just a zombie apocalypse. It's good to have kits in your car, next to your bed and in your office. Stock them with basics like food, water, shelter, navigation tools, first-aid and sanitary supplies - enough to last at least 72 hours.
    Looking for a place to hide?
    We asked The Record's Facebook fans where they would hide out in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Here are some of their responses:
    "Under my bed in my Lodi condo," replied Terry Gardetto.
    "The port would be a great place," wrote Christina Arbuckle-Cervantes. "It can be easily shut off and we can use the waterways to gain supplies."
    Ashneel Singh said, "Walmart in Manteca and you have a gun store right across and Big 5 on the other side." Several other commenters suggested Walmart as well - but not Rafaela Gutierrez. "Everyone will be going there and you'd have to fight to stay," she wrote.
    "The best place would be in the prison," wrote Isela Bingham. "It was built to keep people in and it is isolated."
    A location where characters of "The Walking Dead" found themselves during the recent season three premiere.
    John L. Paval said, "On my boat, in a secluded slough." Niki Whitaker agreed that a boat would be the safest option.
    Wes Rhea said, "In the hyacinth! It chokes everything!"
    Cecilia Jean Madrigal suggested staking out the orchards in Linden, while Anthony Richard Thomas opted for Dell'Osso Family Farm in Lathrop.
    "I say at the old library on Main Street (in Stockton) that is closed down and boarded up," wrote Rosie Rojas. "I know that's why the city closed it down..."
    You can join in The Record's Facebook discussions at facebook.com/recordnet.
    Avoid contact with zombies at all costs to prevent getting bitten.
    "Imagine the most ravenous, rabies(-infected) wolf that you could possibly encounter in the woods, and that's how I would treat a zombie," Kehler said. "Zombies are mindless killing creatures. Scaring them with fire or stabbing them in the stomach is just not going to cut it."
    Instead, target zombies' heads.
    Guns can be useful, but shots are noisy and can attract unwanted attention from a zombie horde. They also jam, or run out of bullets. Kehler recommends a few alternatives:
    Knife: Suitable for closer-range combat. "In a survival or camping situation, you want to have a full blade, fixed blade knife," Kehler said.
    Hatchet: Good for self-defense in addition to chopping leaves or branches for a fire. A hatchet would be optimal for zombie decapitation.
    Ice ax: This will give you the range of a baseball bat, but it has the brain-destroying capabilities of an ax.
    Practice makes perfect
    Still not sure you have what it takes to take on a zombie?
    Check out some of the upcoming zombie-related events in San Joaquin County.
    You can take a survival class, practice running away from the walking dead or even step into a zombie's shoes by donning a costume and makeup.
    Zombie Preparedness class
    When: 7 p.m., Oct. 30.
    Where: REI Stockton, 5757 Pacific Ave.
    Cost: Free
    Info: rei.com/stockton
    Dash of the Dead
    When: 10 a.m., Oct. 27.
    Where: Eagal Lakes, 12 E. Lorenzen Road, Tracy
    Cost: $5 entrance fee; $50 registration fee for runners
    Info: centralvalleyrun.com
    Lodi Zombie Walk
    When: Oct. 27, all-ages party begins at 5 p.m. at Abundance Vineyards with the walk starting at about 7 p.m.
    Where: 120 South School St. in downtown Lodi
    Cost: $5 wristbands include discounts from local businesses
    Info: lodizombiewalk.com
    Use your brain = protect your brain
    "The first option is to bug-in as opposed to bugging-out," said REI instructor Ryan Kehler. Hole up in your house, where you'll be comfortable and have as many resources as possible.
    "Stay inside, lock doors, put blankets under the doorways and stay away from windows so they can't smash through," Cockrell said.
    If the area becomes overrun and too dangerous, you may need to leave.
    A basic rule to remember is that if there are more people, there will likely be more zombies. There are some well-fortified buildings in Stockton, like City Hall or the Civic Auditorium, but there's a dense population downtown - meaning more danger.
    Perhaps consider heading east toward the Sierra. "As desolate an area as possible," Kehler said. "Less potential zombies (means) less potential threat."
    The landscape of San Joaquin County might be both a blessing and a curse should zombies start roaming the streets.
    "There are so many different ways the zombies can get in," said Cockrell. "Every major roadway in the state comes to us. North, south, east, west. Railways. They can come in by boat (or) air. There are so many travel (methods) to get here."
    But, as Kehler explained, the Delta is also a valuable asset.
    "Even if power's off, water's off, we still have that resource to at least filter or purify out for those basic survival needs," he said.
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