

1. Airplane flatulence

You can't smoke within 500 miles of a plane, but feel free to let 'er rip when you're jammed in coach. (previous ranking: unranked)

2. Seth MacFarlane

If you thought James Franco and David Letterman sucked as Oscar hosts, wait until you get a load of Cartoon Boy! (unranked)

3. Minnesota Gophers

Bravely sticking to the fiction that they're safely in the NCAA tournament field. (10)

4. "Harlem Shake"

It's the latest viral hit. That means, if we're not mistaken, that it causes nausea, fever and vomiting. (unranked)

5. Oscar Pistorius

Who better to investigate an accused murderer than an accused murderer? (7)

6. Carp

Pretty soon, you're gonna need a bigger boat. And river. And lake. (unranked)

7. Percy Harvin

Vikings will furiously deny they're trading him ... until they do. (1)

8. Detroit

Broken city a great place to raise a family like, say, the Manson family. (unranked)

9. Sequestration

The world's going to end if we cut a fraction of 1 percent of Washington spending? That's his story, and he's sticking to it. (2)

10. Nadya Suleman

Octomom's making great use out of her medical marijuana card ... and suddenly EVERYTHING makes sense. (unranked)

Others receiving votes

Tim Tebow, midget pickles, giant sunspots, Mike Tyson, Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga, PlayStation 4, Jesse Jackson Jr., Lindy Ruff, natural gas leaks, Lance Armstrong, Christopher Dorner death photos, Mary J. Blige, Roger Clemens, Adam Lanza, Rihanna, gas prices, Pete Domenici, Charles Barkley, "Celebrity Rehab, Miami Hurricanes, Rob Morrison, naked men.

Follow Kevin Cusick on twitter.com/theloopnow.