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by portpoop August 17, 2006
487 185
Lesbians are a divine race of extra-dimensional alpha-females whose very existence is one chiefly devoted to the fulfillment of all manner of pleasures and whims. Blessed with supreme beauty, intelligence and grace, their only weakness would appear to be their hellish lust and need for sexual gratification. Perfectly formed, their skin is without blemish, their eyes always shine with a sublime incandescence, and they are possessed of a charm so intense it can melt a man's soul.
Lesbians swim inside rainbows, wear stars around their necks, and, most importantly, possess no hair on their bodies save their heads. It is a well known fact that they can, on impulse, secret honey. They only drink nectar, only eat ambrosia, and never sweat, cry, burp, excrete, cough or suffer from any other widely disgustingly human traits.
Tragically, Lesbians are only attracted to other Lesbians, and thus their lotus musk, their angelic aura, their luscious charms, and their honey, can never be experienced by mere mortals – they are the eternal embodiment of the sacred and the forbidden.

Please note that the Lesbians referred to above are the REAL Lesbians. Anyone who claims to be a Lesbian and has any physical or mental flaws whatsoever, or who cannot breathe moonbeams and secrete honey on demand is an imposter. The author of this post has nothing against homosexuals, but True Lesbians are something else.
-What makes honey, but is not a bee?
-A Lesbian.

When James saw the tip of the Lesbian's toe his soul turned to butter and his eyes burned for hours afterwards. Unless you want to be consumed within the molten fury of your own lust, James advises you to stay away from Lesbians.
by Iamez July 10, 2008
405 215
by Another Lesbian September 14, 2008
256 129
A woman that is sexually attracted to other women


1. Not all lesbians are ugly, they look no different than any straight girl.
2. The shit you see in porn, no, not how it works, that's fake.
3. Most of them don't hate guys, boys just annoy them a little, but no they don't hate them.
4. It is not a mental condition, and no, a guy can't change a lesbian.
5. If you try and fuck one, say if you're a guy, be prepared to have your balls ripped off with a flimsy pencil.
6. I don't get why I have to explain something as common and simple as homosexuality to you.
7. They don't hit on every woman they see, it's like having a straight girl hit on every man she sees, which happens often anyways.
8. Yeah some are confused and whatever, that doesn't mean all lesbians are confused.
9."Lesbian" sluts that fuck guys, are known as bisexuals.
10. Lesbians do not want to get with a guy, not hard to understand.
11. BOTTOM LINE; They are no fucking different from any person on this blue and green earth.
Boy: Hey there, you're a lesbian? Yeah I can so change that
Girl: *pulls out a flimsy pencil*
by Spricket April 13, 2010
156 66
A woman who like other women...like, more than a friend :p

"All words are much more fancier when you put "le" in front of them, like lesbian... the classiest women of them all"

- Captain Hero
by James Lowe February 11, 2008
164 79
Other spellings include: lezzie, lez

1. A woman that desires other women sexually. Not to be confused with bisexuality, when a woman finds both men and women sexually attractive.

2. Used in a derogatory way when a man believes women find him unattractive or undesirable. Stereotypically, men who have had a history of bad luck with the opposite sex will find out that their ex girlfriends later proved to be lesbians who hadn't come out of the closet.
1. When Maria began talking about how she found other women attractive, and how she wanted to date/have sex with them, I realized she was a lesbian.

2. "Man, when I tried to hit on that girl she just glared at me--this bar is full of lesbians!"

1st Man: Did you hear about your ex? She's dating Maria now!
2nd Man: *sigh* What else would you expect? I just have no luck with girls.
by Erica Stratton January 13, 2008
141 60
First, you have to have a vagina. Second, you have to like women.
michelle is a lesbian because she has a vagina and she likes women
by Laurel2576 May 24, 2005
144 71