Don't leave me! What to do if you suspect your dog is suffering from separation anxiety

Karen Fazio/New Jersey Pets By Karen Fazio/New Jersey Pets
on May 05, 2009 at 9:44 AM, updated May 05, 2009 at 2:19 PM

I get dozens of telephone calls to my dog training business from dog owners asking if I can help their dog overcome separation anxiety. My first question is 'what is the dog doing?' Answers vary from he chews up my couch, soils the house, destroys my shoes and more. Neither of these destructive behaviors by themselves can be classified as separation anxiety, partly because they are lacking additional red flag components indicating a separation anxiety case. Destructive activities such as chewing up the sofa are more related to boredom and lack of a positive outlet for pent up energy than they are separation anxiety. It's the location in which destructiveness occurs that gives us more clues when building a case.

What may appear as a solid case of separation anxiety may have nothing at all to do with you leaving, but more to do with what's happening in the dog's environment when you're not at home that may be causing certain fear-related behaviors. For instance, some sound or event that occurs during the day such as the town's ear-splitting fire siren, a car hitting a pot hole in front of the house or other event which spooks the dog.

If you suspect your dog has separation anxiety, a good way to build a case for your vet, trainer or behaviorist is by taking video footage of the dog when you leave the house so you can document his behavior or observing the dog through a window after you leave so you can jot down what the dog is doing.

What are some of the signs of separation anxiety?
Dogs suffering from separation anxiety may display a wide variety of behaviors. The most common are chewing up doorway exits, window sills, deep claw marks on the front door or around the door frame, shattered windows, broken blinds--and in some serious cases--blood in these locations indicating the dog has injured itself in some way in its efforts to get out of the house and find you.

Additionally, other signs may include heavy panting, excessive drooling, whining, screeching, robotic pacing, tossing violently around in the crate or attempts to chew its way out of a crate to free itself.

This last one is pretty sketchy, because a dog that tries to chew its way out of a crate may not be suffering at all from separation anxiety, but anxiety related to the crate. The dog may also have learned this particular behavior worked to free him in the past--such as an owner giving in and letting the dog out. Regardless, both need attention since the dog can seriously injure itself.

If your dog soils your house or chews up your couch when you're gone---like Marley did in Marley and Me---then your dog may be not be suffering from separation anxiety, but rather a severe case of boredom.

However, if your dog exhibits any of the classic signs of separation anxiety, your first course of action should be to contact your veterinarian for a full medical evaluation to rule out any medical condition.

Once medical conditions are ruled out as the cause, you should contact an experienced trainer or veterinary behaviorist who can develop a behavior modification plan to help your dog feel more comfortable with being alone.

How does separation anxiety develop?
There are many experiences your new puppy or shelter dog may have had in the past that brought it to this point.

If it's a pup, it may have been deprived of the experience of being left alone for very brief periods of time or may have had a negative experience with it. Also, dogs who are removed from their litters too early in life can suffer as well. For instance, a pup that was isolated from its litter before the Primary Socialization Period: 3 to 5 weeks, Secondary Socialization Period: 6-12 weeks, or the Human Socialization Period: 7 to 12 weeks of age*. A good example are pups bred in puppy mills that are removed from their litters at weaning (4 weeks), tossed in dirty crates to be shipped off to a puppy broker (middle man) who, in turn, ships the pup to a puppy store.

Such dogs often are stored in filthy crates--stacked one on top of the other--so that feces and urine rains down on them from those stored overhead. Many of these storage environments are cold and scary. Puppy mills are full of frightened, stressed dogs, many of which are sick, under-nourished or are handled roughly.

Dogs with such frightening past experiences often also have problems with traveling. Puppy mill dogs gain little experience with momma dog leaving for brief periods and then returning---such as mom leaving to eliminate---or gently being removed from the litter for brief periods by humans for health examinations.

Others are raised by inexperienced breeders in backyards or garages (backyard breeders) and don't possess enough knowledge about key developmental stages in a puppy's life.

Some causes are genetically based, related to a generalized anxiety disorder, a neurological disorder of the brain or spinal chord, malnourishment or behavior the dog learned has worked in the past to get its owner to return to the house.

How can I help my dog overcome this fear?

One of the best ways to prevent a case of separation anxiety or destructive behaviors from developing is detailed in Dr. Ian Dunbar's book 'After You Get Your Puppy.'
In Chapter Three (Home Alone) Dr. Dunbar suggests that "before leaving your puppy for long periods, you should teach him how to amuse himself appropriately when left alone, such as by chewing stuffed chewtoys, and learning how to enjoy his own company without becoming anxious or stressed. A dog is a highly social animal and therefore requires adequate preparation for spending some of his time in social isolation and solitary confinement."

"To teach your puppy how to settle down calmly and quietly when you are absent, start by teaching him to settle down with a chewtoy at times when you are present."
"A dog is not like a television or a video game. You can't just pull the plug or temporarily remove the batteries from a rambunctious puppy. Instead, you must teach him to settle down and shush. Right from the outset, make frequent quiet moments part of the puppy's daily routine."

If you bypassed the opportunity to keep your pup busy and relaxed when you're not home, or the dog is from a shelter and you're uncertain about the dog's past, don't fret. While having background in formation about the pup's early life experiences can be enormously helpful, not having that information isn't a tragedy.

There's no need to lament on what you did or didn't do or speculating about what adverse experiences your puppy may have had in the past. The point is the dog is now exhibiting a behavior you'd like to change. So let's get to the business of changing it.

Dogs are geniuses at picking up on signals and clues from its environment and linking them with an outcome.

Take note of what your dog is doing when you are preparing to leave the house. Is it shadowing you through every room? Does the dog start panting or drooling excessively? Pacing? Whining? Cowar in the corner? Does this occur before or after you take a shower? Blow dry your hair? Before or after the coffee pot beeps? Before or after you watch a particular television program? Put on your coat?

Some dogs are so good at recognizing predictors that they seem to know when you have a day off before you even step out of bed. How? Your alarm didn't go off. In this case the absence of a predictor becomes the predictor in itself. Some people wake up with an alarm clock every day regardless of whether or not they plan to leave the house. In such cases the sound serves as a predictor that you're about to get out of bed but does not necessarily serve as a predictor that you'll be leaving.

Greeting rituals
Everyone has some sort of greeting ritual with their dog when they come and go from the house---whether it be lavishing the dog with praise the second they walk through the door to long drawn-out, mournful good-byes. Some dogs are unaffected by these rituals. Others, particularly fearful or timid dogs, are adversely and tremendously affected.

Owners of dogs with separation anxiety often fall victim to exaggerated forms of ritualized arrivals and departures because they feel terribly guilty about leaving the dog alone. For a nervous dog who has issues with isolation, grand entrances and exits provide a stark and exciting contrast to that of being alone in a quiet, unexcited atmosphere and can generate an incredible amount of anxiety. Imagine you're on the scariest roller coaster on the planet and you are terrified of roller coasters. With each clank of the chain you are pulled higher and higher. Your anxiety builds tremendously as the distance between you and the earth widens. At the highest point the roller coaster gets stuck. You will either scream, cry, beg for help, pray or pass out from fear. That's a dog with separation anxiety and the clank of the chain are those predictors.

For these reasons it's best to keep your comings and goings calm and uneventful. Try ignoring the dog an hour before you leave, and again when you return home. If your dog is crated, then you have a better chance of controlling the dog when you walk through the door and preventing the dog from shadowing you before you leave. If your dog barks and whines in the crate when you arrive home, wait it out. Spend some time going through the mail or engage yourself in some other activity you normally do when you're home.

When the dog calms down and lays quietly in the crate, open the door and walk away. Do not bend down and lavish praise on your dog. Wait and see if your dog remains in a relaxed state for an additional 15-minutes. If so, call the dog to you and command the dog to sit or perform two or more commands for a nice long walk.

Manage the environment
One of the first steps is to get your dog used to being relaxed when alone. To succeed on that end is by managing the dog's environment. Provide a crate or small confinement area like a blocked off kitchen or small room where the dog can relax during the day. You may also introduce a sound that your dog has come to associate with relaxation--such as the television, radio or by playing soft classical music. If these sounds are present when you're home and the dog is relaxed, then you have a greater chance that it will associate these same sounds with relaxation when you leave---or at the very least, help minimize stress levels.

If you live in a quiet environment and never watch television, don't choose to put the TV on when you prepare to leave or that will become a predictor that you're about to leave. The same applies to the radio or classical music. In order for these sounds to be effective soothers, they must be part of your environment when you're home and the dog is in a relaxed state.

There are music CDs specifically designed for this purpose. One such company that produces calming music for dogs is Through A Dog's Ear (see resources section for contact information). Founder, Joshua Leeds is a sound researcher, music producer and educator. He is one of few published authorities in the field of psychoaccoustics---the study of the effects of music and sound on the human nervous system.

Collaborating with leaders in health, neurodevelopment, and veterinary neurology and behavior, Joshua's application-specific soundtracks are used in homes, clinics and classrooms around the world. New bioacoustically designed soundtracks are also heard in canine environments.

Through a Dog's Ear is a series of CDs produced by Joshua Leeds and co-directed by Lisa Spector, a noted pianist and agility trainer. By controlling pitch, frequency of musical notes and the pace at which they are played, these CDs target your dog's central nervous system and can help reduce blood pressure and heart rate to that of a totally relaxed state.

Exercise is king
"A tired dog is a good dog," is a statement that's heard all over the world in the dog training community. If you provide your dog with approximately 30 minutes of aerobic activity daily this can help the dog relax, partly because it will be exhausted. If you have a low-activity lifestyle you can also exhaust a dog by stimulating the brain with games, teaching new commands or tricks and providing puzzles to keep him thinking.

Some great tools for this are the Buster Cube which is a square plastic toy with a hole on top and contains chambers inside that capture and hold bits of kibble. The dog has to turn the Buster Cube at odd angles in order to release the kibble.

Other great ideas can be found in Jean Donaldson's book 'The Culture Clash,' (see resources) where she recommends (for destructive dogs) to place treats inside of air tight plastic containers so the dog has to figure out how to get at the goodies while you're out. It keeps them busy with a challenging game. She also suggests tying socks around biscuits so the dog has to work in order to find the treat. You can also do this with rope toys, Donaldson explains, by squeezing treats into the rope.

Another idea is to enroll your dog in an agility class. This is a wonderful opportunity to burn energy while keeping the dog's social skill with people and other canine friends up to par. It can also help keep you in great shape too! Agility classes teach new and challenging skills to your dog that may include balancing its own weight on a see-saw, to running through tunnels and jumping over fences. No, don't worry, your dog won't learn how to jump over your backyard fence.

You can employ the help of a dog walker so that your dog has to spend less time alone during the day. This is an excellent choice during the early process of leaving the dog alone for the first month or so. If you choose this method and wish to stop at some point, you must do so very gradually. Have the dog walker come twice daily at first, then once for a few weeks, then once every other day and so on. Be very clear about communicating how greeting rituals affect your dog and ask the dog walker to make comings and goings uneventful. Usually the vet's office will have some contact information on reputable dog walkers.

Can prescription medications help?
Yes. In some cases your trainer or behaviorist may make this recommendation to your vet to help reduce stress levels, especially during the training process. Your trainer or behaviorist should provide your vet with a comprehensive, detailed report on the dog's behavior, be forthcoming about successes and failures during the treatment process and a realistic prognosis. This will help your vet decide which medication would be best suited to treat the behavior. In order for your trainer or behaviorist to speak with your vet, it's important to sign a release giving them permission to do so. Health information about your dog is private information and it's unprofessional for any trainer to discuss the health issues of your dog with your vet (or anyone else) without your written permission first.

All cases of separation anxiety are unique, but most can be helped through behavior modification, changing greeting rituals, managing the environment and medication. Below are some wonderful resources for working with anxiety-related behaviors. The more you know, the better chance you have at helping your dog.

Karen Fazio, is Head Trainer of My Best Friend Dog Training in Keyport, NJ. She specializes in fear, aggression and obsessive behaviors as well as basic obedience.

The information contained in this article is for informational purposes only and is not meant to treat or cure any canine behavior. If your dog has problem behaviors contact your veterinarian or go to


-- Help for Your Fearful Dog, by Nicole Wilde, CPDT

-- I'll Be Home Soon: How to Prevent and Treat Separation Anxiety, by Dr. Patricia McConnell

-- After You Get Your Puppy, by Dr. Ian Dunbar

-- The Culture Clash, by Jean Donaldson

*Sources: Steven R. Lindsay; Dr. Ian Dunbar