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26 / F / Straight / Single

Melbourne, Australia

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and very serious about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Working on masters program
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
So something about myself, huh? Well... When I was 21, I moved to the United States from Australia. Yes, I grew up in Australia. Yes, I have an Australian accent (though not a particularly strong one). I moved to the States by myself... Actually to meet someone from this site. Didn't work out (you ever hear about the couple that got married at a Taco Bell? Yep...) so I got divorced and after living there for three years, moved back to Australia.

Pretty sure I can group myself into social stereotypes so maybe that'll help you gain a better insight...

I'm an artist. I'm a student, a guitarist, a writer, I'm an asthmatic smoker (an oxymoron you say? No, just a moron)... An internet procrastinator, an introvert (though highly opinionated so I can be pretty vocal once I get going on an issue I care about)... I'm narcissistic, pessimistic, assertive, subversive and am completely eccentric. I'm a Feminist - not the scary, soapbox type. I'm into genuinely equal rights. For example, if I was to punch someone, I expect to get punched in retaliation. Regardless of gender. Equal rights, equal fights. That being said, I am also a pacifist so how about nobody punches anyone, yeah? I believe in taking turns in paying for dinner, etc. If you don't pay for things equally, you don't deserve equal pay. This is true feminism, It's just been given a bad rap. I'm a Jew by birth and an Atheist by belief (though probably leaning towards Humanism). I'm a realist (the glass is neither half empty nor half full - it's half a glass) and I'm open-minded about many things. Not to say I'd necessarily try everything but I'm open to the ideas and to other people's lifestyles as long as you're not all high and mighty and trying to push those ideas as the "correct" way of being. Nobody likes that.

Oh, and please don't waste our time by talking to me if you're a racist, a chauvinist, a pervert or a homophobe. I may be open-minded but not to belief systems that propagate hatred. I guess I'm intolerant to intolerance? And yes, I realise that perverts don't propagate hatred but sending me perverted messages out of the blue is rather disrespectful and makes me uncomfortable and embarrassed for you.

I am artistic, apathetic, and freaking awesome.
What I’m doing with my life
Working on a Masters of Fine Art while suffering through a thankless retail job.

I mostly just hang out, draw, play guitar and ukulele while singing (sometimes even record it), listen to music, watch movies and go running.
I’m really good at
Anagrams. Falling asleep in five seconds. Drawing. Being opinionated. Spending all of my money online. Walking for extended periods of time. Correcting your spelling mistakes. Procrastinating. Not filtering my thoughts before they come out of my mouth which consequently will occasionally lead to me saying inappropriate things at inappropriate volumes (more often than not at the exact wrong time and in the wrong place).

Figuring out which socks go on which feet (trust me - if you only wear them on the same feet over and over, they mould to that foot and then you can only wear them on the correct feet or else it's loose around your pinky toe because your other foot's big toe stretched it out... and you know what - nevermind). Obsessing over patterns, numbers and colours. Coordinating my outfits. I'm really good at a variety of things but I'm best at colour. I'm a synesthesiac so naturally, colour is very important to me. I would say that most of my decisions are based on colour (be it something's literal colour or my perceived colour of an object, word, person or idea).
The first things people usually notice about me
I've been told my hair. But then I've also been called a hipster piece of shit on numerous occasions so who knows what people see. From what I understand, people notice my style in terms of clothing choices. Also my septum piercing and my tattoos. My ridiculously pale skin. When I moved to America it was possibly my accent that people noticed the most. I got a lot of people trying to imitate me (poorly). And a lot of people online making fun of my spelling. I spell in Australian. Deal with it. And no, that doesn't mean "beer" = "bee-ah". It means "color" = "colour", "realize" = "realise", etc.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favourite book would be Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.. Basically anything by Vonnegut. Loooove Slapstick, Slaughterhouse 5, Mother Night, Welcome to the Monkey House and Sirens of Titan. Close second may be Girlfriend In A Coma by Douglas Coupland. I also like random oddities like Ants Have Sex In Your Beer, Stuff White People Like and Cartoon Modern. My favourite graphic novels are Maus and Jimmy Corrigan - The Smartest Kid On Earth.

Favourite movie would be The Beatles Yellow Submarine. Observant people will note that my tattoos are from that film - not because of my Beatles love but because Heinz Edelmann is my favourite artist /funfact. Other notables are The Room, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Troll 2, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Cool As Ice, So... I Married An Axe Murderer, True Stories, Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, High Anxiety... I also have a massive soft spot for really old and terrible Sci-fi/Horror movies. I love Plan 9 From Outer Space, Wasp Woman, The Corpse Vanishes, etc. Also, anything with Steven Seagal. Yep. Especially On Deadly Ground. Not even kidding.

Favourite music? Way too many bands to name on here. Think along the lines of The Smiths, The Cramps, Architecture in Helsinki, The Zombies, Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, Supertramp, The Pernice Brothers, Badly Drawn Boy, Buddy Holly, Galaxie 500, The Beatles, Pavement, The Ink Spots, The Crew Cuts, Black Sabbath, Neutral Milk Hotel, Radiohead, Bruce Springsteen, The Cars, Devo, New Order/Joy Division, Talking Heads, Billy Joel, Memphis Pencils, Ramones, Dinosaur Jr., Dion and the Belmonts, etc.

As for food... Well, I'll try most things. I absolutely loathe anything fake-cherry or fake-watermelon flavoured *barf* I love real cherries and real watermelon but the artificial shit just makes me gag. I can't drink full cream milk or non-diet sodas and a lot of sugar and dairy products make my throat close up (FUN!). I also hate slimy/runny eggs. After a hospital stay in 2003 when I got my wisdom teeth out, I can no longer bring myself to eat scrambled eggs.. don't ask. Other than that, I love most other foods. I love a lot of foods other people hate. Like licorice, olives and broccoli. My friends make fun of me because I like to eat in themes. For example, I'll decide a meal is an "orange meal" and I will only consume orange-coloured foods and beverages. Or it will be "cylinder day" and all food must be cylindrical, etc... Eccentric is the polite word, okay?
The six things I could never do without
Art supplies, sounds really shallow but my clothes (self expression is really important to me), my computer, internet (when half your life is overseas and your family are interstate it's basically impossible to live without it - even my Grandmas are on Facebook, yo), running or some form of being active, inspiration.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How much food one must actually consume in order to become obese.

How I could arrange to be a trophy wife in a way that isn't glorified prostitution.

Why most Froot Loops are their own colour but blue and purple are often half-breeds.

How to motivate myself (so I procrastinate by thinking of ways to motivate myself? Hooray for Irony!)

You know the black bits in bananas? ... Are they tarantula's eggs?

If I'm ever going to grow up.

How trivial life is.
On a typical Friday night I am
At the gym, bro... No, but for real. A lot of Friday nights, I am. Otherwise at work, maybe procrastinating in front of my computer. Drawing/painting. Playing guitar or ukulele. Having people over. Doing... stuff? Occasionally I can be tricked into leaving my house.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I can admit a lot of private things. I'm practically an open book and have little to no shame.

For example, a large portion of my hair is naturally grey.

I rarely wear make up. Even though I'm wearing it in about half of my photos on here.

I don't drive or own a car. I don't even have my learner's permit. I walk, tram, bus and train everywhere.

If I eat the last of a jar of olives, I will drink the juice. Yeah, yeah, it's gross. Whatever.

I invented my own holiday to boycott Christmas. Call me a Grinch if you want but we'll see who's laughing when you're stuck with your family wearing itchy sweaters and I'm hanging out in my underwear watching back to back episodes of Star Trek. If you're interested, check out

When I was a kid, I didn't understand the concept of an accent being specific to the region in which you grew up... I thought that kids were accent-less and when you got older you just got designated an accent but didn't get to choose which one. I'd always hoped for Irish. In my defense, this was probably because I grew up around so many different accents; I had a British father, Irish grandparents, an Australian mother, an Israeli grandmother, a German great-grandmother... Yeah, I'm a mutt.

Also, I have a phobia of walking barefoot. Not like.. scream and cry kind of phobia.. Just an 'avoid it all all costs because it makes me horribly uncomfortable' kind of phobia.

I have a legitimate phobia of spiders. I hate them. All of them. I can't be in the same room as a spider (when I know it's there).
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–35
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends
You should message me if
You're a person (gender non-specific) looking for an online friend and are remarkably awesome... or you are in the Melbourne area and are looking for a friend/cafe-dwelling, drawing-companion/running partner (word for the wise - sure as shit not going to go running with you if you're a single guy who creepily hits on me then asks me to go running. Yes, this happens enough that I have to write about it here. The only running I'll be doing is in the opposite direction).

I've been told my profile is intimidating? Maybe I just wrote too much but really I'm non-threatening and pretty easy to get along with. So if you feel so inclined, send me a message. As long as you're not perverted or creepy, I'll try to respond. Please don't be offended and send me mean messages if I don't. If you hit on me and make me uncomfortable, I won't reply. Also, sometimes I don't check my inbox. Other times I check it when I'm really tired and have every intention of replying but then just forget.

I'm relatively easy going. Feel free to be my friend. You've got nothing to lose except your soul. I collect them. It's my thing.