User:Strange but untrue/Uncyclonesia

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Uncyclonesia is one of the newest, hippest maladies sweeping through our technology-ridden world today, on a par with Google-whacking, eKleptomania, and that one we won't mention. It manifests itself when a perfectly healthy Uncyclopedia addiction goes badly wrong, and becomes a psychological condition instead of a harmless obsession.

edit Symptoms

The sufferer, suddenly not content with saying things like "In Soviet Russia, this page huffs YOU!!" and laughing knowingly, suddenly starts to think entirely in Uncyclopedian in-jokes and cliches.

edit Stages of Uncyclonesia

  1. Russian Reversal phase: Victim is still just about understandable, if a little out of fashion. At this stage it may be possible to cure them by taking them on a trip to Russia, and carefully explaining that communism is dead, and Russian people often speak English better than we do.
  2. Grue phase: Subject becomes convinced he or she is a Grue, and explains carefully (in proper English again, thankfully) how he or she is likely to eat you. At this point, be tolerant, but extremely careful not to expose them to an Eurg. Referral to a psychiatric counsellor right now is not recommended, due to difficulty involved in extraction of said professional from your loved one's stomach.
  3. Irony deficiency: At this point you may want to buy a dictionary of internet slang, as the sufferer inevitably spends most of this phase saying things like "OMG, STFU n00b!", and then getting confused as to whether or not they are being ironic or serious. If you are in fact a n00b, be prepared to be heavily insulted during this phase - remember: it is just the disease talking.
  4. AAAAAAAAA! phase: AAAA AAAAA AA AAA AAAA AAAAAAAAA AA AAAA AAAA. 01010011 01110101 01100010 01101010 01100101 01100011 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100001 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101100 01110011 01101111 00100000 01110011 01110000 01100101 01100001 01101011 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110
  5. Final phase: After that, you will probably have given up on your loved one and are about to nail the doors and windows of their house closed. As you get your hammer and coat, however, you may be in time to see them dig out a stick from the garden, declare it as their "banstick for the dispensement of god-like wrath upon the innocents", and proceed to ban various household objects (such as pets, appliances or BENSON) from Uncyclopedia forever. At this point, you may take some small comfort in knowing that they are finally ready to become an admin, and take their place among the stars. But remember, they'll always be right here: Heart Attempting to dig out your other internal organs with a spoon, like as not. Sob.
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