Separating Gay Penguin Duo Pedro and Buddy Turned Them Straight

Remember Pedro and Buddy, the gay penguin couple that the Toronto Zoo was going to separate so they could mate and then reunite? Well, it looks like their love won't last being shoved in the closet by the zookeepers. This is so so sad.

Looks like both of the boys have settled down with a lady and are getting ready to mate and produce offspring, just like a good man is "supposed to." But now that they're not lovers it seems that they're fighters. The two even got in a brawl recently over territory. Now it seems like they'll never want to be together ever again.

Of course this happened. When they were broken up and told their love was wrong, they were doomed. This is just like Brokeback Mountain where they had to get married but they'd still diddle on the side and then Pedro would come home and his wife would be all like, "Buddy. More like Buddy Nasty." Then the boys get in a huge fight and never talk again until one day Pedro calls up Anne Hathaway and she's all like "Buddy was killed trying to be gay. That's what you get." This is a tale as old as time. Thanks Toronto Zoo for ruining gay love for everyone.