you know you've had a long day looking after a toddler when...

(30 Posts)
Twattergy Fri 22-Mar-13 19:11:43

You have your first poo of the day at 8pm

You've eaten a kitkat, a banana...yes, that's all

you consider it a major victory that no item of you're clothing has snot stains on it

AndMiffyWentToSleep Fri 22-Mar-13 19:14:18

How on earth do you avoid snail trails of snot on your clothes? Please tell me your secret!

Becky99 Fri 22-Mar-13 19:14:52

You're in your PJs minutes after bedtime, on the sofa, with a glass of wine.

Creameggkr Fri 22-Mar-13 19:16:36

I just had my first glass while I bathed her.
Do I win bad mum of the week?

HotCrossNaanAndRessurectiOn Fri 22-Mar-13 19:16:42

When I've had my DD all day, I'm in my PJs as soon as she is!

As for the snot - you may as well get a pritt stick and rub it all over you. It looks the same, although toddler not may be a bit stickier!

ExasperatedSigh Fri 22-Mar-13 19:18:01

You are MNing on your phone in the dark using your left thumb, because DD won't let go of your right thumb without then standing up in the cot and screaming for another soul destroying 20 minutes.

Twattergy Fri 22-Mar-13 19:39:51

I've taken to wearing a green bobbly top that already looks like a treat. Oooh shit just noticed snot trail on my jeans on my the hell do they manage it?

Oh ExasperatedSigh I'm so with you there!!

ExasperatedSigh Fri 22-Mar-13 20:58:51

Solidarity sister <tired fist bump>

DuttyWine Fri 22-Mar-13 21:00:07

And u put off wee for so long that when u finally go to fill the kettle for a cuppa the sound of running water prompts a dribble and closed leg dash to toilet and u end up going with bathroom door still wide open!

DuttyWine Fri 22-Mar-13 21:01:03

And you also post messages in text slang blush

ThePskettiIncident Fri 22-Mar-13 21:07:19

You re-adopt the newborn mantra of "you sleep when they sleep".

And I too am covered in snot

dizzy77 Fri 22-Mar-13 21:10:04

Just HOW do they generate that much snot? I swear DS produced his body weight today.

ForTheLoveOfSocks Fri 22-Mar-13 21:11:07

Becky are you me? grin

Why don't they come with a manual <wails> <pours wine>

MrsRambo Fri 22-Mar-13 21:34:59

You become jealous of a friend with a newborn, yes a newborn, because it lacks mobility and ability to generate DEFCON 1 on account of being asked to get off the stationary Iggle Piggle ride at a local shopping center.... <which you loath but visit frequently because you need undercover space in the event of bad weather to tire out said toddler> ...

fififrog Fri 22-Mar-13 21:42:19

Dutty I am so with you regarding forgetting to go to the toilet! Usually occurs to me when DD is holding my right thumb and refusing to nap...

JumpHerWho Tue 26-Mar-13 21:12:26

Yep, on sofa with a gin and tonic within minutes of bedding DS here...

awwwwmannnn Wed 27-Mar-13 13:24:53

when i don't have the energy to even care about the snot/milk/yoghurt/dinner/chocolate stains on my clothes, and just think sod the glass, give me the bottle, and plan to have a bath with little one in the morning instead.....blush


HappyJoyful Wed 27-Mar-13 17:27:34

Made me chuckle and nod, yes to the wee - I'm sure pre-toddler my bladder has never been so strong and yes to the Pj's and wine on sofa as soon as they are asleep and my final yes to the jealous of newborns, how easy!!
I also find myself eagerly waiting for the cbeebies night time end 'song' and find myself relishing it despite swearing I'd never sing along to such twaddle pre-toddler, I'm singing my heart out.

I'm sipping a glass now & he's not meant to go to bed til 7 blush

Oh dear!

To be fair we're both not 100% and I'm dying for an early night!

You know it's been a long day if you weep with relief when you hear the Cbeebies goodnight sun song grin

mummy2benji Wed 27-Mar-13 20:20:00

The wee issue has become more of a problem since giving birth to dd2 and my pelvic floor muscles taking another battering. Mind you, they are getting good exercise with the lack of time to go to the toilet that ds1 (4) and dd2 (5 months) inflict on me. A desperate dash it is.

Also, constipation. Yes really... my kids cause me constipation. Because I don't have time to go during the day and then I forget to go later once the urge has worn off.

I could think of more but I'm off to pour myself a glass of restorative wine... wink

JollyYellowGiant Wed 27-Mar-13 20:28:06

- You do not recall saying one positive thing all day
- You got sympathetic looks from everyone in Co-op as your child lay face down on the ground howling
- You have to look at some baby pics of your child to remind yourself that they are occasionally loveable
- Your electricity bill is ridiculous due to the number of times you've boiled the kettle (yet you've not actually drunk one cup of coffee)
- You can't believe you're pregnant with no2. Wtf were you thinking??
- Someone emails asking where you were last night and you suddenly realise that today is Wednesday

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 27-Mar-13 20:42:57

You actually weep with relief when they're in bed.

You're actually too tired to remove snot stained clothes.

You recall several occasions during the day when there was no other suitable snot-removing receptacle than your own sleeve or finger.

He is still awake at half past fucking nine, and all your "no CIO" principles are just pissing you off.

We left the swing park early because they were fighting over who was having first turn to drive the tractor thing, then when we got home I had a refusal to get out of the car. I met said refusal with "fine", locked the car doors, and went inside to dump my stuff. I was back to the car in under thirty seconds but they were both bawling and I thought "I don't care."

I am another using the "pg and exhausted" excuse.

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