

(842 Posts)
ledkr Spain Sat 05-Jan-13 11:04:30


scarffiend Sat 08-Mar-14 19:45:23

My PIL are the very opposite of anal. They came to visit us last summer & my MIL blocked the toilet, which then flooded all over the bathroom floor. She yelled, me, FIL and her all standing there in shitty dirty water, flinging down every towel I possess to soak it up once I'd stopped the running water in the loo. Once all the water had been soaked up, she asked me 'should I just hang the towels up to dry?'

Last time she was trying to help FIL get his shoes on without a shoe horn, and what else would you use but a knife?? Which is then replaced in the cutlery drawer as though it had never been used to force rancid smelly feet in to shoes.


mrsnec Sat 08-Mar-14 07:11:33

My inlaws are fanatical about their tea. They will only consume a specific brand which despite being readily available they still import it from the UK in catering packs. They have special mugs in their house and ours and I've had to have numerous masterclasses in how to make it. Whenever they travel they take it with them but buy a fresh sealed box just in case it's ceased by customs. They often travel from here to the states via the uk and once spent ages trying to find a supplier of said tea at lgw in case their tea got ceased on the first flight! They were both in hospital last year and couldn't possibly drink hospital tea, despite the bakery next door selling English tea and the hospital easily providing hot water and milk we had to take flasks several times a day and special mugs. When I made it dg had to sample it to check id made it right he's lucky I didn't throw it at him!

TamerB Sat 08-Mar-14 06:59:00

I find it irritating that it is only about parents of boys.
Parents of girls can be just as irritating and many have both.

PhoneSexWithMalcolmTucker Sat 08-Mar-14 06:56:05

Ah, one of my favourite threads returns <happy sigh> smile

Posy the clocks on every wall sound quite terrifying.

WanttobePosyFlump Sat 08-Mar-14 06:30:52

Forgot to say DPs also have clocks in the garden!!

Just in case, you know, your watch suddenly breaks down! I can't tell you how many times they both look at their watches when you are with them.

And the spreadsheets! When they are coming to visit for a week I get a spreadsheet about a month in advance with their itinerary and what will happen on each day.

Don't start me on the dishwasher, which will be unfilled if I have filled it, and filled CORRECTLY and also the supermarket bags which must be flattened properly and folded in to small neat squares.

WanttobePosyFlump Sat 08-Mar-14 06:22:16

Teaonesugar ^ Two weeks before they go on holiday the suitcases will be out on the "front room" floor, she washes, dries and irons everything and puts it away as it's done, when they get back from holiday their "holiday Clothes" go away unwashed, and the cycle begins again, I find this very odd, but then again I don't have a complete "holiday only" set of clothes.^

Are you saying they actually put their unwashed clothes back in the suitcase until their next holiday!! gross!!! What about if they have dribbled dinner down something - it must get all moudly - and what about sweaty clothes...ewwwww!! lol.

WanttobePosyFlump Sat 08-Mar-14 06:17:04

With my DP, it's time. It's alllll about the time.

Not only do they need a clock in each room, but on each WALL so that no matter which direction your head is facing, you can see what time it is. It has inversely affected me so that I don't wear a watch and am vague about time on purpose when quizzed just to see them meltdown. hmm

One must never be late for ANYthing. So if someone says 'ok, see you at about 3", they will plan the entire day around the precise time they must leave at to arrive at precisely 3pm. This involves lots of pacing up and down the room and frantically looking at their watches if it's getting near to Exact Time of Departure and someone isn't quite ready yet. Even when you point out that it was a vague meeting time and it doesn't need to be a military precision exercise you are met with "We don't DO late!" exclamations.

Absolutely drives me crazy. And the questions: What time do you need to be there, so how long will that take to drive, what time are you going to leave..aaaaaaaaaagh!

They also have different crockery depending on the meal times. They heat plates and DM always has perfectly manicured nails. Every time I see her she'll ask when I'll next be doing my nails... blush

CorusKate Wed 19-Feb-14 02:02:34

chemenger, my PIL are similar. I don't see them often as they live abroad, but last time they were over, MIL made a song and dance about the roast dinner she was cooking one day. The frozen chicken was bought a day in advance and set in the sink in the holiday cottage to drain all its moisture thaw, veg were bought, etc.

Stopped on The Day Of The Roast at a tea-shop at about lunchtime, MIL suggesting we all have a light snack in advance of The Roast that evening. DP and I therefore ordered delicate little sandwiches, crusts cut off, which, this being the south-west, were served with a lettuce leaf and half a tomato. PIL proceeded to order baked potatoes, chilli com carne and cheese. They ate till they were stuffed and still left half, complaining they hadn't realised how much there'd be and exclaiming how filling it was.

So dinner-time rolled round, and DP and I were pretty peckish, even though PIL have dinner much earlier than we do. We sat in the dining room while MIL plated up in the kitchen, making sure to supply FIL with bread and marge as is their tradition. Our faces fell when we realised we weren't to be so profligate as to be eating the whole small chicken between four of us, or even both breasts. Two small, thin slices of dry-as-unlubricated-buggery chicken with three miniature roast potatoes and half a handful of boiled carrots. Smothered in own-brand bisto.

When we got back to the tent (because why would they stay anywhere near where we live for a few days when you can stay several hours' drive away instead) we ate a whole packet of biscuits before going to bed.

This is not even the most annoying thing they did on that particular trip.

Katinkia Sun 16-Feb-14 22:38:41

I once backed into a tree on my PILs drive knocking off a piece of tree leaving it all green and shiny. Next time I was there I noticed it looked totally fine and enquired to MIL. 'Oh I glued it back on' she said....

She also had a major freakout once when we took one of those bubble machines to her house and set it on the grass. Some of the bubble mixture leaked on to the lawn and she came out with a bowl and towels to clean it up!

LurkingNineToFive Sat 15-Feb-14 11:47:25

My mum turns the wi-fi off if no-ones using it, it takes about 30mins to turn on again because it's an incredibly old set-up.
She also turns off everything at the wall including things that have to be re-set like her VCR (yes she still has one).
It drives me mad but she won't be told. Thing is she laughs and her dad for doing the same stuff.

chemenger Costa Rica Sat 15-Feb-14 11:19:03

My pil are generally fine but mil is obsessed with having only one substantial meal a day. The other meal MUST be a sandwich. Women always get a smaller packed lunch than men. Now when we sit down in a cafe we all chorus "you'll be having a big meal later" and eat whatever we want, especially since the time she forced everyone to have a snack then announced she fancied steak pie and stuffed herself while we choked on our shared baguettes. "I didn't realise it would be so big" she said. Yes, because steak pie and all the trimmings is a notoriously tiny meal.

LePetitPont Sat 15-Feb-14 10:19:25

teaonesugar if it were not for the fact I am an only child, I would be convinced you were my SIL!! You have deceived my mum's weird plate-heating and gravy microwaving fixation to a tee!

mousmous Germany Tue 31-Dec-13 11:30:03

my pil always have a ploughman style dinner. bread, lots of different cold meats, cheese, butter, sandwich fillers etc.
they take out all the food stuffs from the original packaging after buying, decanting into tupperware. for their dinners they put every thing onto serving plates and carry it all to the dining room (complete with linen napkins) eat 2 slices of bread max each. then carry it all back to the kitchen, put it back into the tupperware.

jasmineramsden Sun 15-Dec-13 16:44:59

Absolutely love this thread!!! I know it's old but haven't been able to put my phone down for reading it.
My dear nana RIP was fabulous but her ways! As kids then teenagers we all (grandkids) used to go to hers for a roast of a Sunday (woe betide you if u were hungover and didn't go) which would be served at 2pm (never 5 past or 5 to). She would start cooking at about 6am and the meat would be brick-like and the veg almost dissolved. She would cook about 10 different veg for this feast which she would have written down on a list, with a timer going off constantly to indicate when one was ''done" which she would then tick off on the list. This done veg would then be transferred into her second oven to 'keep warm' (nuke a bit more). She would use virtually every plate pan bowl and cooking utensil she owned to cook this meal which then all had to be washed immediately after. This rigmarole was the same week in week out for most of my childhood and in my teenage years it drove me utterly potty the faff and fussing but I remember it fondly now and miss her terribly x

Marking place.....I v annually retentive must read this later

LittleAprilShowers Sat 07-Dec-13 03:55:27

I know this thread is old but I've enjoyed it so so much and wanted to put my two penneth in (and hopefully kick start it to get some more funny idiosyncrasies).

DM leaves price tags on every single present she buys. Even if it has an enormous red 'SALE' tag on it. And she says the same thing every time - "whoops did I leave the tag on? Silly me!". Think she does it to secretly benchmark how much we need to spend on presents lol.

And the faffing - oh, the faffing! Going anywhere needs a 1 hour lead time from saying "shall we set off?" To when we actually leave the house. Much turning off of appliances, checking opening times online (even if were going to the 24 hour supermarket she must check this hasn't changed back to a normal one), discussing the best route to avoid traffic, putting on coats and jackets, taking off coats and jackets because it "looks quite sunny actually" - and then she says "come on, we'll be late!"

She also has to stop constantly on the motorway. She must have the bladder of a gnat (and she's only 55!). We went from Manchester to Gretna once (about 2 hour 15 mins journey) and stopped 4 times. Kids aren't that bad!

DMil will wait until you've finished eating, literally the second you put your knife and fork down she whips your plate away and washes it. Even if she's still eating herself. Cooking a simple dinner (beans, eggs, sausages for example) can take an hour. God knows what she does! She doesn't really cook much so never had a roast at hers or anything, I imagine she'd need around 12 hours to make it though!

DStepMum does the food counting thing too! Guaranteed Sunday dinner means the following (NB all the following come in miniature form, I've never seen such tiny meat & veg in my life, I genuinely don't know where she buys such small food) - either leg or breast (one each only), two Yorkshires, 2 roast potatoes, 2 florets of broccoli and a teaspoon full of gravy. It's really tasty though I wish there was more. And it's always always followed by peaches and ice cream. I'm not sure she's aware that other desserts exist.

I love them all dearly though (and the food all round is yum so I won't complain ever out loud) and wouldn't change them for the world, I agree all these are very endearing qualities rather than annoying!

SixFeetUnder Mon 17-Jun-13 20:34:39

My grandad was horrified one Christmas when he arrived at ours to find we had already unpacked and disposed of most of the packaging for the childrens toys. When I told him I'd cut off most of the tie wraps and binned them as opposed to shredding my fingers by untying them all individually and then straightening them so he could take them home and put them in his tie wrap drawer I thought he might go home before dinner.

ephemeralfairy Tue 11-Jun-13 11:42:04

Oh these are brilliant! My mum is irritatingly normal, in fact pretty slapdash in her approach to cooking, housework etc.
It's me who is the anal one......

Meow75 England Fri 07-Jun-13 22:07:18

I'm currently on sick leave from my teaching job with depression and work related stress.

This thread needs its own prescription, I tell you!!!


I'm actually with your parents I much rather be very early at airport than sitting around . That 45 min drive only takes one accident to be 2 hours < gets old fogey badge on

FiteFuaite Tue 21-May-13 09:01:56

On the boiling water/cold water for the potatoes thing,we always put potatoes in cold water,bring to the boil and then simmer for 12 minutes or so.I am Irish,so I believe that when talking potatoes,I know whereof I speak <gavel>

(We learned at school that if the veg grows below ground (pots,carrots etc)you put them in cold water,above ground (broccoli,cauli)in boiling water.)

Jengnr Tue 21-May-13 08:52:03

queenoftheharpies I knew this was the thread for you.

Still18 I'm totally with your Mum on the boiling water thing. I frequently have the same argument with H smile

Queenoftheharpies Mon 20-May-13 14:13:49

My PILs stay with us a lot and keep buying us stuff they think we need, in order to make their stay more bearable. Like one of those giant spoons for serving spaghetti, a heated tray like you get in chinese restaurants and 'the right kind' of potato peeler.

It's very sweet of them, but I just can't imagine caring enough about someone having my preferred kind of potato peeler to go and actually buy them one.

And even if they're only staying with us one night they always have to 'unpack' and MIL complains if there aren't enough drawers available in the spare room or if I have left ANYTHING lying around that might mean she can't put her (massive) vanity case down in the exact spot she wants to.

Still18atheart Thu 09-May-13 23:36:19

Forget meat and two veg for sunday Lunch at my parents house. It's meat and 8 veg

They brought a caravan which they brought with the intention that they go away at at a moments notice ... it takes them a week to prepare the best part of a week to prepare the bloody thing

I'm probably doing this wrong but when I boil spuds I boil the water using this thing called a kettle beforehand. My mum puts cold water in pan wand brings to boil. We had an argument for 15 whole minutes about this very subject and there were tears on both sides and thedog thought the apocalypse was happening.

My mum likes to run 13 miles a day without fail. That means if we want to do anything that's going to take a whole day. Like a nice trip further a field we don't leave the house till gone midday. And it means that most of the presents aren't open till 6pm. Because as soon as she's ready it's off to see the family water boarding is more humane to a 6yo

DM irons DSF and DBs boxer shorts. "Because crinkly underwear is really awful to wear!"
She also irons the tea towels and the bedding.

Her best friend told her to get a life and now interrupts the ironing episode with wine and gets her pissed grin

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