UnNews:Spencer claims Hillary is ugly; Bill claims, "no comment"

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

24 October 2006

John Spencer
He knows ugly when he sees it, being a man of good looks and what-not.

ALBANY, New York - Republican New York candidate (for Senator) John Spencer affirms a previous statement he made to a reporter in which he called his opponent, Democratic Senator Hillary Clinton, wife of former President Bill Clinton, ugly. When questioned about his reactions to the incident, Bill Clinton was quoted as saying, "no comment."

Ben Smith, the reporter who interviewed Spencer, had the entire interview recorded; however it wasn't released to the public until recently. Below is an excerpt:

Smith: So what do you think Hillary could improve about her campaign?
Spencer: Her face for starters. She's so ugly, she has to sneak up on a glass of water to drink it!
Smith: ...Umm, perhaps. But Mr. Spencer, that doesn't exactly answer my question.
Spencer: All kidding aside, she's pretty ugly. I sympathize for Bill. We all understand why he did what he had to do back in '98.

In a different demeanor than his initial interview with Ben Smith, Spencer sat down with MSNBC-TV reporter, Rita Cosby:

Cosby: Did you call Hillary ugly or not?
Spencer: That's outrageous. I didn't do it.
Cosby: *shows actual brief footage of his statement*
Spencer: ...It's clearly not me on that video tape.

Spencer also made several other amusing claims during the interview, such as "her face ain't exactly voter friendly", "her face is inside-out", "the thought of her face makes me want to go to the bathroom", and the most insulting of them all, "she looks like Gilbert Gottfried."

As a result, Spencer's ratings have gone up in the polls, and he has started a fundraiser which is dedicated to raising enough money to "buy Hillary Clinton plastic surgery". A telethon fundraiser is inevitable.

edit Sources

Personal tools