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I love everything about my [M21] girlfriend [F20]...except one thing. She can be really immature. by moodadooin relationship_advice

[–]tupperware_face 1 point2 points

If she's admitted that making immature jokes in the middle of serious conversations is a defense mechanism, then I'd bet her other immature behaviors are relatives of that and the underlying problem is her insecurity. Why is she insecure? That's something she probably needs to analyze and determine for herself, though your help could go a long way. And it never hurts to try therapy of she feels she could benefit from it. I happen to think everyone could benefit from it.

I would suggest gently discouraging the immature behavior and helping her feel secure about herself, drawing out her real thoughts and emotions. Do approach her about the behaviors you think are inappropriate or beneath her, but do it kindly. Bringing it up in anger will probably just make her defensive, which won't help break her emotional barriers at all. And if you want to stay with this woman, neither of you will benefit from ignoring behavior you don't like.

4 year old with behavior problems. Help! by Raven_skiesin Parenting

[–]tupperware_face 2 points3 points

Do you know what sorts of events trigger the meltdowns? Do they tend to happen at the same time of day, or after something specific happens, say, his mom returning to pick him up from a friend's house?

Weird breast feeding question by Caraaain beyondthebump

[–]tupperware_face 0 points1 point

To me it felt different. It was actually like a flip switched because I was no longer turned on by nipple stimulation from my husband. My breasts were solely for baby-feeding. Then after we weaned it switched back again, which I was happy about lol.

What are your favorite meals to make in large quantities so you can eat them throughout the week as leftovers? by 089786in recipes

[–]tupperware_face 1 point2 points

Chicken salad, pizzas (though my pizzas are usually best eaten within 2 days), shepherd's pie, almost any pasta dish, and rice dishes like black beans and rice, curried rice and beef, or stir fries.

What's the best accidental nudity you have seen in person? by Shadowlord1222in AskReddit

[–]tupperware_face 0 points1 point

I went to a play at a local theater. In one scene, a young bride was getting ready for her wedding and her maid was behind her tightening her corset or something. Well, this maid somehow yanked down on the (strapless) dress, causing the bride's breasts to burst out the top in full view of the audience. She quickly pulled it up again but it was too late, everyone had seen.

18 f tried out some of your advice. How do I look? by [deleted]in amiugly

[–]tupperware_face 0 points1 point

When you smile you resemble a young Diana Rigg. You have the same shaped cheeks and mouth I think. Very cute!

Any parents here? Minimalist infant/noddler shoes/sandals? Thoughts? by 10000Buddhasin BarefootRunning

[–]tupperware_face 2 points3 points

We bought our son Robeez as an infant and they were great. But they seemed to only have infant sizes so once he was about 2 we had to look elsewhere. We found Moxies Baby Shoes on Ebay, which are custom made leather shoes similar to Robeez. They took a while to ship because they came from Canada, but the amazing thing was they were only like $15! They are great little moccasin style shoes, my only complaint is that they don't hold up well in wet weather since they have soft leather upper and suede soles. So we just put his rain boots on over them when it's wet and it's not a problem.

9 year old is terrified of being alone by prettyraddudein Parenting

[–]tupperware_face 2 points3 points

As far as I know, fear at such a young age usually stems from something. When I was around his age I still had pretty bad separation anxiety. I hated for my mom to go anywhere. Later I realized it was an attachment problem--my mom was never attached healthily to my siblings and me and so I was very insecure and hated being alone.

Anyway, maybe it's a form of separation anxiety. Maybe the fact that your parents are so busy and you end up caring for him much of the time has prevented a healthy attachment between him and your parents. Or, maybe there is a simpler explanation, like he saw something scary on tv.

Either way, you should encourage him to communicate what the root of his fears are, and include your parents in the discussion so they can help solve the problem.

Edited for typos.

Advice for letting your kids interact with a family that makes you feel...uncomfortable. by levitronin Parenting

[–]tupperware_face 9 points10 points

It depends what kind of physical affection you're talking about. The caressing the back of the neck creeps me out a little too. I grew up in a household similar to this homeschooled family's, and my dad was the same way--very physically affectionate. He encouraged my sisters and me to sit on his lap a lot, even as teenagers, which made me very uncomfortable then and still does. Now as a parent I notice that kind of behavior in others more than ever and am very disturbed by it. Even if it doesn't mean anything sexual, it's a line of appropriateness that's being crossed. If you wouldn't touch a woman like that who's not your wife/gf, why do you touch your daughter like that? There's a disconnect there, and it seems not normal to me.

You know you're a parent when... by Quorralinein Parenting

[–]tupperware_face 45 points46 points

I get excited just to go grocery shopping by myself.

Here is our little squish!! 11+5 First ultrasound :D by seamusokittyin BabyBumps

[–]tupperware_face 1 point2 points

Congratulations! I'm 11w 4d today, our babies are the same age! I had my ultrasound at 9 weeks and the thing looked exactly like a little gummy bear wiggling around, it was so funny.

Need to confess. Headed to a penance mass. by penance12345in Catholicism

[–]tupperware_face 12 points13 points

Your nervousness is completely normal. It's wonderful that you've decided to go in spite of it. No, it's not weird to seek out a strange priest who will probably never see you again. I was talking with someone about feeling scared before a big confession, and he pointed out something a confessor told him long ago. To priests, everyone's sins are equal. Priests hear confessions from convicts, murderers, rapists, mental patients, people who've committed what you or I would consider the worst sins possible to commit. After all the confessions a given priest has heard, the playing field, as far as they're concerned, is level. You can't confess something that will shock or anger him. To the priest, your sin is no greater than that of the kid in front of you who confessed to lying to his parents about cleaning his room.

As for not wanting to even say it out loud, that's exactly what you need to do. There's a reason therapists exist--people need to talk about stuff. Confession is good for you, and not just spiritually. A huge weight will be lifted from your shoulders as soon as you exit the confessional.

But you probably already know all this stuff. I just like to run my mouth, and I'm happy to hear that you are planning to take the plunge. Best of luck, and God bless you!

[REQUEST] 28DD or 30D by [deleted]in braswap

[–]tupperware_face 2 points3 points

I do love it otherwise, and I've thought about sewing the extender thing to the band to make it more comfortable. That's definitely what I'll do if I don't sell it. The bra doesn't make me very perky, but maybe extending the band will help!

[REQUEST] 28DD or 30D by [deleted]in braswap

[–]tupperware_face 1 point2 points

I have a Cleo Marcie in 30D that feels like a 28, so I haven't worn it much (I'm 30-32). It's definitely not padded or push-up, but let me know if you're interested anyway. I'll sell it for $18, but am also willing to swap if you're trying to get rid of anything in 30D.

Edit: it's also not nude. It's teal. It doesn't fit much of your criteria, lol.

"Our doors lock automatically" = BULLSHIT by mshappyin TalesFromTheCustomer

[–]tupperware_face 23 points24 points

Gosh. That's how servers acted sometimes at the pizza place I used to work for, but c'mon people. This is medicine. These are sick patients you're dealing with, have a little empathy. Kudos to your boyfriend for calling those people out. It's not okay to become calloused towards the customers when you choose to work in this field. Also, I hope you get your face sorted out!

How do you think less "logically"? by orendevilin aspergers

[–]tupperware_face 0 points1 point

It's possible that people don't necessarily know how to explain something because it is so ingrained into their heads that they just don't think about it or ask why... If you don't know how to explain something in a way that I will understand, then be honest with me about it.

As a neurotypical, I think this theory is spot on. Especially among young people. Many, many people don't question why they think or act the way they do, or why certain things are standard or acceptable. This means of course that they are the ones with the problem, but because there are so many of them validating one another the problem perpetuates itself. If they have to ask you not to think logically, then there are some serious flaws in the way they think. But that's not surprising considering their ages. I was clueless at that age too. Maybe they'll grow out of it, or at least gain the maturity to be honest with you about it. Right now they're probably not even honest with themselves about it.

I want to get back into the faith but I don't feel a strong urge to by Ginter98in Catholicism

[–]tupperware_face 2 points3 points

Then study it! Just like anything you're unsure of, educating yourself on it generally helps you make the decision you need. It will either inspire and motivate you to get back into it, or turn you off to it completely. Either way, you'll have gained the knowledge of it. HOWEVER, it is VERY, VERY important when researching Catholicism, or any religion, to make sure your sources are 100% unbiased and accurate. There are obviously many untruths floating around about aspects of the Catholic Church, and you need to scrutinize everything you learn very carefully.

Some questions for other fans of the FE Mass. by oh_heeey_flipin Catholicism

[–]tupperware_face 2 points3 points

My first question is, for those that have been to a Tridentine Mass, what did you think? How does it compare?

I grew up a Novus Ordo Catholic and knew nothing about the Tridentine Mass until I started dating my now husband. I was used to the NO and thought that was the standard for Mass. I had no frame of reference so I didn't recognize abuse when I saw it, and I thought any changes that were implemented parish-to-parish must be within the range of normal. When I started dating my husband I agreed to try the EF, since he made it clear he preferred that one exclusively and would want that for his family when he had one. It took going several times to get familiar with it, but once I did, I started noticing all the flaws in the various NO Masses I attended. Why were the words of the consecration different among different parishes? Why was the music so mediocre? Why did everyone leave the pews and socialize during the sign of peace when the Body of Christ was lying up there on the altar? Why do people say they want to FEEL something during Mass when it isn't about their emotions at all? Where's the reverence, the solemnity, the acknowledgement that what's going on in front of our eyes is the purest, most sacred, most holy, most near to heaven thing we can ever experience here in this life?

I still go to the NO Mass, but my standards are much higher. I went back once to a NO parish I had frequented before going EF and the altar boys were serving in their Boy Scout uniforms. After the Gospel, instead of a sermon, the scouts and scout leaders stood up right in front of the altar and had their awards ceremony in the middle of Mass. I was appalled, and disappointed that this was the kind of thing many people think is appropriate to include in the sacrifice of the Mass. I didn't go back to that church.

And second, do any of you have any idea how I could possibly tackle a situation where I have been dating a Catholic woman for a good period of time, but are still unable to convince her to join me at the Tridentine Mass?... I'm obviously not looking to force her, but I don't know how else to discuss it with her other than talking about tradition or how its what I want for my children in the future.

Hmm, I don't really have any suggestions. Maybe she just isn't comfortable with it because it's so unfamiliar? Is she the kind of person who's very set in her ways, and resistant to change? Maybe telling her that this is what you want for your future children is what you should do. Maybe it will help make her more open to it.

Edit: Also, discussing tradition with her is a great idea! A lot of people don't understand the EF because they don't understand a lot about the Catholic faith. Studying Catholicism from its roots will definitely shed some light on why this Mass is the way it is, and how it's beautiful because it's so rich with tradition.

The Obesity Pregnancy Dilemma by love_is_lifein BabyBumps

[–]tupperware_face 7 points8 points

Since you surprise your doctors I'd guess you're the exception, not the rule. Congrats on your pregnancy!

I am afraid I am, or will become, a pedophile. [tough love] by AlexTeddy888in confession

[–]tupperware_face 1 point2 points

Whether or not you develop these sexual desires you fear, you only become a "monster" if you act on them. Pedophiles aren't automatically rapists.

Pregnant after Stillbirth - PANIC! by pregnantpanicin BabyBumps

[–]tupperware_face 7 points8 points

I'm very sorry for the loss you suffered.

The last stage of grief is acceptance, and /u/sfak is right--it does sound like you haven't reached that yet. It almost sounds like you're still in the denial/shock/numbness stage, since your coping mechanism is total avoidance. Deciding to not think about babies for the rest of your life is not a healthy or productive way to deal with what happened. Trauma victims go through exposure therapy; it's not avoidance you need, it's exposure. Confront the issue full-on so you can make peace with it and file it away in its appropriate place. Talk it over with a professional, because they really can help you make this step. Until you can truly address the issue and accept it in a healthy way, it will be almost impossible to move on and develop the feelings you want to have for this new baby.

And a big, hearty congratulations on the new baby! I hope and pray this one works out for you. Best wishes!

Moby Vick XXVII: A Quick Snack by Alistair9000in fatpeoplestories

[–]tupperware_face 5 points6 points

mockingly "Don't put metal in that science oven, Rosalyn. Don't put metal in the science..." places the foil tray in the microwave "I'll do whatever I want."

I used to be Catholic Questions I have for the teachings by [deleted]in Catholicism

[–]tupperware_face 1 point2 points

Why is it important to go to church every Sunday? Does it really matter to God?

This one's easy--it's right there in the commandments! Why is it in the commandments? Exodus 20:8-11: “Remember to keep holy the sabbath day. Six days you may labor, but the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord, your God. No work may be done then either by you, or your son or daughter, or your male or female slave, or your beast, or by the alien who lives with you. In six days the Lord made the heavens, and the earth, the sea and all that is in them; but on the seventh day he rested. That is why the Lord has blessed the sabbath day and made it holy.”

The seventh day is literally blessed. It's not just like every other day. The day itself is holy, it's God's day. It "matters" to God in that it is for the good of our souls, and He wants all our souls to be good. Does He feel butthurt when people blow it off? No. God doesn't need our worship to feel good. The praise itself doesn't make Him happy, doesn't increase His magnanimity or authority. He is hurt when we blow Him off because we're hurting ourselves, and He hates to see us do that. We worship God for our own sakes, not His, so when we ignore this commandment, He's offended for our sakes, not His own.

An sex before marriage, a mortal sin? Aren't there more harmful things that should be considered sins? I think anything like envy, jealousy, selfishness, being rude/disrespectful towards another a person are far more serious sins. I can understand saying promiscuity is a sin, that is taking something to an extreme. How can anything done consensually between adults be a sin? Not every person thinks three-ways are a form of adult.

It can seem a little ridiculous to think of sex before marriage as the huge deal that Catholics make it out to be. But the problem with it is that, as the Bible states, "A man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." The act of sex is what is meant by the "becoming of one flesh." Just look at the complimentary nature of it, how the male and female physiology were made to be together. When you have casual sex with someone, or even loving, intimate sex with someone who is not your spouse, you're mimicking that step of marriage without taking the first step: the promise to cleave to your partner. It literally disrupts the order of marriage.

And what's to stop people from doing this over and over, becoming one flesh with partner after partner? Well, obviously many people do. You understand that promiscuity is sinful, so look at it this way: promiscuous people are defined as having many transient sexual relationships. What's the difference in sinfulness between doing it once, and doing it many times? If you have one apple and I have ten, what's the difference between our apples? Only quantity. If it's wrong for someone to commit a sin many times, it's just as wrong to commit it once.

Just because two adults consent doesn't mean it's not harmful. Using the apple analogy again: two adults can consent to feed each other poisoned apples for the thrill of it, but that doesn't mean they're not harming themselves.

As for three-ways, it also disrupts the order of marriage because that third person is spouse to neither married partner, thus we have the issue of sex outside of marriage again.

I think God wants us to think for ourselves. Yes, there is a bible. I do not always agree with it. Will I honestly be condemned for not seeing these the same way God does?

There's no way for anyone on this earth to know whether you're condemned for not seeing things the way God does. If anyone pretends to know, they're full of shit. I agree that God wants us to think for ourselves. After all if He didn't, we wouldn't have free will! I disagree with certain interpretations of things in the Bible that aren't necessarily spelled out by the Church, but I do subject myself to all the official doctrines and teachings of the Church. You'll find there are many things that the Church teaches, or ways the Church interprets the Bible, that are not official doctrine. All we're required to do to be Catholic is submit to the authority of the Church and her official teachings, but there's plenty of thinking for ourselves to do outside of that!

A Liberal Catholic by nsantoro126in Catholicism

[–]tupperware_face 6 points7 points

You're absolutely right to love everyone indiscriminately, and your unhappiness at the intolerance of many is what's called "righteous anger." I think many Catholics (and people in general) have a hard time drawing the line between loving someone and condoning everything about them. It can get uncomfortable, and many people with those kinds of differences just avoid each other and stick to their like-minded friends.

Years ago I had a friend who was gay. One time she asked me about my views of gay marriage, and I told her the truth (that I didn't approve of it, mostly because of religious views). She was very upset with me and didn't talk to me for a little while, until I reminded her that our differing opinions hadn't made me intolerant of her, but the other way around. Intolerance is something that plagues everyone, not just Catholics. We're just often portrayed as the bigots because of the standards that we tell people God holds them to. And yes, some Catholics can be truly intolerant and judgmental. But they're not behaving like Catholics.

I'm wanting to go to a Catholic church service, which one should I go to? by IAmElizabethGouldin Catholicism

[–]tupperware_face 1 point2 points

Someone else answered first, but I found this to be an informative source. It doesn't mention whether our current pope disapproves of drums and guitars in Mass, but it references Saint Pope Pius X who objected to their use a century ago.

The argument I hear against such music during Mass is that, while it's beautiful in its own right, it does not hold up to the reverence and solemnity that are required for the Sacrifice of the Mass. It tends to act more as entertainment for the congregation than a solemn prayer. I've attended parishes that have both kinds of music, and I personally prefer the more solemn, traditional kind because it helps me focus on the holiness of the Mass. But many people agree with you.