Learn To Accept What We Cannot Change

March 10, 2000|By Ann Landers.

Dear Ann Landers: "Heartbroken in Mississippi," who spoke of losing his wife of 37 years to a heart attack, touched me deeply. Her only symptoms were backaches, shoulder pain and a burning in her chest. My sister died of a heart attack. Her only symptoms were indigestion and heartburn. She went to bed one night, and never woke up. But what prompted me to write is another tragedy people might learn from.

My daughter took her 17-year-old son, "Wayne," to the emergency room a year ago. He was having chest pains. The doctors ran a few tests, and determined the pain was due to stress. (Wayne had had an argument with his girlfriend.) After telling his mother he was OK, the doctors sent him home. He died in his sleep that night. An autopsy determined the cause of death was pericardial tamponade, a condition involving compression of the heart caused by blood or fluid accumulation in the sac around the heart.

Wayne was tall (6 feet 3 inches), thin and had long, slender fingers. I'm told these are some signs that may indicate a heart problem. I was also told such problems are often the cause of death for athletes who die suddenly. If the doctor had taken my grandson's chest pains seriously and kept him in the hospital overnight, he might be alive today. A Heartbroken Grandma in Lakeland, Fla.

Dear Grandma: I'm so sorry you lost your dear grandson. What a heartbreaker. Hindsight is always a sure thing, but looking ahead is fraught with uncertainty. It is best to heed the wise words of Omar Khayyam: "The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on; nor all your Piety nor Wit shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it." So, accept what you cannot change, and carry on. Here's more:

Dear Ann Landers: I am writing in response to "Heartbroken in Mississippi," regarding his wife's undiagnosed heart problem. I was cross-country skiing when I felt signs of unusual fatigue and had some trouble getting my breath. I attributed this to a virus. Two days later, an astute friend (a retired physician) suggested I see my doctor, because I might have had a silent heart attack.

Sure enough, that's what had happened. I never had chest pain of any kind, and have since learned that women often don't. Their symptoms go unrecognized and untreated, and approximately 45 percent die within the following year. I might add that I am a vegetarian, exercise regularly, do not smoke or drink, and am not overweight. I had no idea a virus could cause heart problems. M.H., Salisbury, Vt.

Dear Ann: Doctors often do not take women patients' complaints of chest pain seriously. It is usually diagnosed as heartburn, stress or many other possible ailments. Eighteen months ago, I had the second of two heart attacks (the first one went undiagnosed). Thankfully, I decided to call the doctor to see if he could do anything else for the heartburn. I was already taking a prescription drug, plus an antacid. I drove to the doctor's office, and he immediately ran an EKG. I ended up in an ambulance, and had open-heart surgery the next morning -- three bypasses, with blockages of 100 percent, 90 percent and 60 percent.

I was 52 years old then, overweight and diabetic, but had no heart problems as far as I knew. I was not nauseous, had no arm or back pain, did not feel hot, and had none of the typical symptoms of a heart attack. I cannot overemphasize the importance of everyone (not just women) seeing a doctor immediately when experiencing shortness of breath or any chest pain.

Evansville, Ind.

Now, Dear Readers, you've received some invaluable medical advice today -- and no bill.

