Oneshot, smut, OCC, humor, crackish, sexually explicated. I thought it was pretty funny, but tell me what you think!

(May be slightly confusing at first, but all is revealed at the end!)

My name is Ichigo Kurosaki. I have straight A's, I can do trigonometry, I have a black belt in karate, I'm a genius in practically every subject. Yet, there's one thing I don't understand. Nobody likes me. Or to be more exact, everybody hates me. I don't know why. I'm not a cruel person, I've never hit someone without reason. I have good hygiene, no reason for everybody to avoid me like they do. In fact, I'd say I look pretty fine. I have a nice lean build, hard muscles packed together, vibrant orange locks just a shade darker than your classic traffic cone, I have perfect facial features. I'm a hottie! So why does nobody like me? I do scowl most of the time, but that's because I don't have any friends!

The school bell rang, breaking me out of my musings. The rest of the classroom filled in, Orihime sitting in the seat next to me. She had put on makeup today and curled her reddish brown hair. I gulped, slightly nervous. Should I say something? She looked prettier than usual, not that women were my cup of tea.

"Orihime, you look particularly ugly today." I said, smiling awkwardly at her. She looked at me, her face shocked. Then, her features slowly crumpled and she began sobbing. My mouth hung open in shock, what the hell had just happened?! I had given her a simple compliment and she burst out crying! Was that normal for girls?

"Kurosaki!" Chizuru's hand came down across my face in a harsh slap. "You should never say that to a girl! Why do you always have to be so horrible." She stalked out of the room with Orihime crying on her arm in a huff. The teacher sighed, obviously far too used to the scenes that happened magically around me for some reason.

I slumped in my desk, scowling darkly. Why did everyone hate me. The door slammed open, a baby blue filling my vision.

"The name's Grimmjow Jeagerjacques! I transferred here today!" A loud voice announced. The entire class stared at the new arrival in awe, me included. He was gorgeous, the most stunning man I'd ever seen in my life. He had baby blue hair that was combed back out of his eyes, a few stubborn strands falling back over his forehead in defiance. He was firmly muscled, his biceps straining against the high school uniform. I was entranced, he was that beautiful. Without noticing, my mouth was opening and speaking. I didn't realize I had said anything until the words had already fallen from my lips.

"God damn, he's hideous." I commented in awe, my eyes blatantly staring over his entire body. My mouth was watering, I'd do anything for a piece of that meat.

The class was now silent for a whole different reason, half staring at me and the other half at the transfer student. What? Was it that uncommon to tell someone they're gorgeous. I mean, I know it's abnormal to be gay, but these days it's hardly shocking. So why was everyone staring at me in horror? The horrible silence was broken by a booming laugh. The transfer student had thrown back his head, peals of laughter falling from his jumping throat.

"This guy's hilarious!" Grimmjow roared, with that he swaggered through the row and sat down right in Orihime's vacant seat. "What's yer name, handsome?" I scowled at him, thoroughly confused. He laughed at my compliment, was he thinking I'd be his entertainment for the semester? Well, he was wrong, this gay boy didn't do tricks. I scoffed and turned my head to the window, ignoring the beautiful man completely. The hot ones were always jerks. I'd also heard jerks were the best in bed. I banished that last thought quickly. I ignored Grimmjow for the rest of the day, even though he persistently threw bits of paper into my spikey orange hair. I held strong to my resolution of giving every bit of my attention to the falling leaves outside. Well, that and write down the notes the teacher was frantically lecturing about.

"Before we end, lets give Grimmjow the notes from the past week so hell be ready for the upcoming test, anybody volunteer?" The teacher asked, raising her own hand in example. She sighed as nobody volunteered, all the students too intimidated by the new hottie in school.

"Kurosaki, you take good notes. Help Grimmjow out, he needs all the help he can get this late in the term."

My mouth fell open in disbelief, and I face palmed. I was stuck with this asshole? Seriously?! He merely gave me a wide grin.

"Help me out, okay Kurosaki?" He said, patronizingly. I glared at his handsome face, then turned back to the window. He didn't deserve any of my attention. I'm sure he'd turn out just like the rest of them, soon ignoring me for no apparent reason.

Lunch came quickly, the bell ringing loudly for all to hear. I tried to dart out of the room, but Grimmjow was hot on my heels with his wide grin and sharp teeth sparkling. What a bastard. I sighed in defeat, slowing down and getting in line for my food.

"Ya got any friends?" Grimmjow asked, peering around for anybody. For some reason, I felt a dull feeling of depression that'd he'd already realized I was a social outcast. Not that I wanted him on my tail all the time! He was still a bastard! We got our lunches, Grimmjow still mysteriously following me. I walked outside, sitting down on the sidewalk by the school wall to eat my lunch. Grimmjow copied me.

"So... Wanna help me study? I'll be nice, I promise." Grimmjow said, looking at me with puppy dog eyes. His big blue eyes stared intently at me, reading all my motions with precision. I couldn't look away from him, it was like there was a cord between our eyes, sparking and fizzing with intensity. His deep blue eyes were absolutely beautiful.

"Y-You're eyes are ugly! Stop looking at me!" I snapped, turning away with embarrassment. His beautiful eyes were too intense. He reeled back in shock, amusement filling his features instead of that stiff intense look.

"I've never met someone like you, Kurosaki! You're so strange!" Grimmjow laughed again as my face burned. I hated him. I hated him. I hated him. I could feel the anger rising in me, the hatred of embarrassment and the resentment of always being alone fill my body. I stood up, my fists quivering. My teeth gritted together angrily as I opened my mouth to tell Grimmjow frickin' Jaegerjacques off.

"I fucking love you!" With that, I turned on my heel and stalked off. His face fell in surprise, his eyes trailing after me in astonishment. I was too angry to return to classes so I stalked home. The image of Grimmjow's stunned face filled my mind, his shocked features. I wonder if anybody else had ever said that hated him before? Now I felt a little bit guilty. I slammed the door open as I arrived and stomped up the stairs to my room.

"You're back so early, Ichigo. How was school?" My dad's voice echoed from the clinic side of our house.

"It's was great!" I replied truthfully, today had been truly horrible. I wished I had just ditched today and never made Orihime cry for a compliment. Never met Grimmjow and told him I hated him.

I slammed my bedroom door shut and flopped down pathetically on my bed. I felt guilty now, maybe I should apologize to Grimmjow tomorrow... I sighed, scrunching my face together in self pity. I felt pretty badly now, but he was such a douche! I growled lowly, my anger returning momentarily before it flickered out. I was the one at fault here, I was the one that exploded. Maybe this was why I had no friends, I had too much of a temper. Now I had run off Grimmjow too.

My sullen thoughts were interrupted by my bedroom door slamming open. "Dad! Get the fu-" I trailed off as I saw who was standing in my open doorway. Grimmjow fucking Jaegerjacques. I stuttered with my words, not sure how to properly apologize. I knew I had to but he hasn't given me enough time to prepare! I need efficient time for these things! He spoke before I could, his blue eyes dark with something I couldn't name.

"Yer so damn cute, ya know that?" Grimmjow growled, stalking closer with that feral grin on his face. "Ya were so cute, trembling with yer face all red before confessing. Ya know what? I like ya too, so lets make somethin' out of it." He grabbed the back of my head, his strong fingers tangling in my hair. His warm lips pressed against mine, teeth nipping lightly at my frozen lips. I was completely stunned, how did my explosion equal a confession in his head. Yet... The pressure of his lips against mine was making my mind go blank. I could feel the heat of his body against mine, his tongue breaking into my mouth with a wild vigor. Vaguely I realized I was grabbing into his shirt, my hands shaking. I'd never kissed anybody before. Hell, I'd never talked to somebody for real before. This was a completely new experience for me. I could feel hands diving under my shirt and running up my sensitive sides. A low groan echoed from my throat, my body squirming slightly in Grimmjow's grasp. I was ticklish.

He smirked against my lips, his fingers running over my chest and smooth muscles. All of a sudden, his fingers latched onto my budding nipples and have them a sharp twist, the feeling drawling a whine from me and our lips disconnected. For some reason... It felt amazingly good. His padded his thumbs over the abused nubs, stroking them both lightly as he watched my beet red face in arousal.

"Ya sure like it when I play with yer nipples, just like a little bitch. So cute, ichigo." Grimmjow purred, he leaned foreword to bit at my ears. No way in hell! Those were way to sensitive to play with! I was distracted again as his magical fingers pinched my nipple again, a low groan coming from my lips. This was far to embarrassing, I couldn't do this anymore! This was coming way to fast for my virgin mind, I had to tell him to stop!

"M-More, Grimmjow!" I said desperately, the pleasure he was already giving me blowing my mind. I couldn't think, he had to stop or I didn't know what I'd do! He froze, his eyes looking at me with pleased surprise and dark lust.

"Yer a lil' devil, aren't cha?" Grimmjow groaned, he ripped off my shirt and his own in a split second. My eyes widened in surprise. What didn't he get about stop?! Grimmjow instantly attacked my nipples, dragging a low whine.

"Grimmjow!" I moaned, my back seemed to arch toward him by itself, trying to get more delicious contact. He snarled, his eyes darkening further from my wanton sounds. His sharp teeth nipped at my neck, working down to my collarbone and across my chest. Somewhere in my mind I was groaning over the fact that I would surely sport bright red marks all over my skin tomorrow.

His teeth bit one of my nipples, holding it and pulling. I moaned, my hands wringing the sheets. His cyan eyes flashed as he looked up at me, a feral grin making its way across his face.

"Yer such a little slut, aren't cha? Moaning and squirming just from me biting at yer nipples a bit. Just like a lil' bitch." Grimmjow's husky voice flew through my ears, horror rising in me just as my straining cock rose. I... liked this mind of dirty talk?! No, no, no, I couldn't like something like that. Yet, my dick pushed against the fabric of my uniform, a wet spot in my briefs. It was horrifying.

"Yes, yes, Grimm! Ah!" I couldn't help moaning as I refused his advances. Even though I didn't want it, it still felt so good!

Grimmjow growled low in his throat as his nimble fingers undid my pants. His hot hand slid into the opening, pulling out my erection.

"Look how wet ya are, dripping yer cum all over yourself." Grimmjow purred in my ear, his body leaning over me. My hands clutched at his shoulders, my chest heaving as he thumbed the head of my member. It felt so good, my senses were humming. A menagerie of moans fell from my lips, each a soft sound in my heated room. A low rumbling growl came from Grimmjow's chest, a slight vibration traveling to my fingers from the sound. His lips touched my ear, his voice the barest of whispers. His tone was rough, his strange accent more pronounced by the lust raging through his body.

"Turn around, I'm gonna play with that cute ass of yers." His husky voice said. Against the will of my mind, my body turned so my belly laid against the sheets. A small whimper fell from my lips, the sound bringing a responding feral growl from Grimmjow. He stuffed a pillow under my hips, making my ass raise from the sheets. The feel of a hot, wet cock slide between my cheeks. When had he taken off his pants?! My mind raged behind the lust that consumed me. I groaned, thrusting my hips back unintentionally.

"Look at that, I'm only rubbing gainst' ya and it feels like I'm deep inside yer tight ass. Ya feel real good, Ichigo."

I moaned, I couldn't help it. His voice was completely taking over my body. It brushed over my skin, heat rising each time he said a single word. I could feel his slick precum dripping down the crease of my ass and falling to the back of my balls. A deep, instinctual desire rose with in me, taking over every component of my entire being. All I knew was that I need that hot, heavy cock within me.

"Grimmjow, stop please!" I begged, pleading for that feeling I knew would bring me pure ecstasy. He grinned, a hide smile that showed his sharp canines. I peered over my shoulder, watching his gorgeous face as he slid that huge cock inside me with out any preparation. It hurt, only the sheen of precum blocked the sting of my walls being stretched beyond capacity. Yet, a deep moan came from my throat. Somehow the pain, the heated breaths and touches felt amazing. Some feeling rose beyond the pain. Something amazing that made my blood boil.

"Nngh! Grimm!" I cried, somehow I realized that tears were falling down my cheeks. To my surprise, they were from mainly surprise and pleasure rather than pain.

As Grimmjow slid inside me, his dick seemed never ending. He was going deep inside my body, touching places that nobody had before. It was exhilarating, it was amazing. After what seemed to be forever, he finally stopped. His balls were flush against the back of mine, his abs inches from the arch of my back. My head was thrown back, neck exposed for the cool air to attack in Grimmjow's stead. My mind was blank, all I could think was nothing would ever feel better than this experience.

That's when he started thrusting. I moaned, the feeling of his thick cock going out of my again to the very head before sliding back in taking over me. He was so hot, his dick throbbing inside me. I could feel every single movement he made. The slight movement of his every breath, the tensing of his muscles behind me. The veins along his cock and the wetness between us. He began moving faster, his hips slapping against mine in a furious pace. I couldn't shut my mouth, horribly embarrassing sobbing moans poured from it like a water fall. My cheeks were flaming red and stained by my tears of pleasure. My cock rubbed against the soft sheets, an almost painful feeling that only enhanced the feeling of him railing me. His hands grasped my hips, pulling my ass higher. He slid a hand between me and the pillow, grasping my dripping length.

"Yer lil' ass is so damn greedy. Pulling my dick in so far. Yer something real special, Ichigo." Grimmjow murmured in my ear, his lips a few inches below the sensitive skin. I could only helplessly moan in reply.

Impossibly, his pace grew faster. Sloppy, wet sounds came from between us like a tidal wave. The feeling of his hard penis inside me mixed with the erotic sounds and his magical hand brought me over the edge. With a cry, I came. Thick ropy arcs of cum spurted over the sheets in random splatters. I fell limp over my mess, spreading it over my stomach and chest.

His body shuddered above me, his hips snapping three more times before he exploded within me. The feeling of hot cum filling my insides, brought a lethargic moan from me. Grimmjow slumped beside me, an arm thrown over my exhausted body. I slid one eye open, lazily looking at his satisfied and tired face. Something akin to affection rose within me, as strong as the lust that controlled me earlier. My face turned bright red as I realized what this must mean. I... might just... maybe... love Grimmjow? But just a little. Almost love. My mouth moved without my mind telling it to, the words falling in the thick silence between us.

"I think I might hate you." My face flushed bright red after the sentence. He let out a tiny laugh and pulled me closer to his chest.

"Lets sleep." He replied, amusement on his voice. I nodded with my bright red face, thankful for his words that brought attention away from me.

Grimmjow tiredly walked down the unfamiliar stairs, his stomach rumbling from hunger. He needed food. In the kitchen, he was met with a old man with jet black hair. He smiled warmly, looking over Grimmjow's rumpled uniform and mused hair.

"Hello young man." The man said, that glimmer of amusement in his eyes still. "I'm Ichigo's dad, Isshin."

Grimmjow nodded in greeting, not sure how to deal with such an awkward situation.

"I'd like to tell you to please be gentle with my poor son! He has an extreme case of tsundere, it's so bad that he says everything the opposite of what he means. Please take that into account when you're with him! I'd hate for you to run off due to a misunderstanding." Isshin chuckled, looking at Grimmjow's stunned expression.

Grimmjow thought over every conversation they'd had, the words Ichigo had said during sex and after. His face turned slightly red, not sure what to say to Ichigo once he woke up.