Rev. Msgr. Andrew R. Baker: Opposition to same-sex marriage based on definition, not discrimination

March 25, 2013

On Tuesday and Wednesday, the Supreme Court will hear arguments in two cases addressing same-sex marriage — California's Proposition 8 law and the Defense of Marriage Act. Politicians and pundits are lining up to explain their positions.

Proponents of same-sex marriage say the issue is about the rights of full citizenship. But is the controversy over same-sex marriage a matter of discrimination against same-sex couples or is it about the very definition of marriage as DOMA and more than 30 states have said?

Abraham Lincoln was famous for telling riddles that were both amusing and profound. It is said that he once asked, "If you call a tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have?" Most people answered "five." The president, however, responded that no, a dog only had four legs, because a tail can't be a leg, even if you call it one. The point of the riddle, of course, is that things have objective realities that cannot be changed by clever rhetoric or facile changes in definition. That is the case with marriage.

Marriage and same-sex unions are essentially different realities. To say so is not imposing a religious definition of marriage on civil society but recognizing that marriage has certain characteristics which are even apparent to the human intellect alone that the union of two people of the same sex can never have. Sexual difference makes a difference. Their differences serve to relate them to each other to form a self-giving communion of persons which has the potential to bring forth new life and form a family. These qualities are not only written in the pages of Sacred Scripture but are also stamped on our very bodies as complementary sexes.

A same-sex union cannot fulfill this unique description of marriage because it lacks the unique character of the union of opposite sexes, which is naturally oriented toward generating new life. A man and a woman renew their covenant with each other by becoming one body through a reproductive kind of act. No same-sex union can realize the unitive and procreative meaning which the marital act and bond expresses.

We need to ask same-sex marriage proponents, "How do you define marriage?" Once they begin to try to define marriage, certain qualities are either missing or the definition becomes overly broad. If there is no fixed definition of marriage, then you have to ask, "What do you mean when you say that these unions are marriage?"

Proponents of same-sex marriage insist that they want to marry just like anyone else so that they can have the rights of marriage just like any other married couple. Yet, same-sex unions cannot be marriage by definition, so same-sex couples are not being denied the right to marry or any rights associated with marriage. It would be like a man insisting that he had a right to be a mother and he wanted the rights associated with motherhood.

Some say that the state should just stay out of regulating marriage. However, there are social benefits to being married, such as Social Security, insurance and tax exemptions. Also, marriage between a man and a woman is likely to result in a family with children. The family, based on the union of man and woman and their becoming parents, is the core of society and it assures the continuation of society with the promise of future generations of citizens. The state should be very interested in the definition of marriage.

But what about those specific legal rights which some want? Some benefits can be obtained without changing the definition of marriage. For example, joint property rights, the designation of a proxy to make health care decisions, and choice of the beneficiary of a will can be obtained without marital status. It would be wrong to attempt to redefine marriage for the sake of providing benefits to those who lack the essential qualities of being married.

Proposing that marriage can only be between a man and a woman is neither bigotry nor discrimination. It is standing up for objective reality and the common good in an age that increasingly has difficulties understanding either.

The Rev. Msgr. Andrew R. Baker is pastor at Cathedral Church of St. Catharine of Siena in Allentown.

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