colored eyes???

Not breast feeding (vent)

Last edited 02/20/2013
I live in Canada and I don't know if it's the same in the US...

when moms come into the hospital to deliver their babies, it is assumed that everyone will be breastfeeding. I know of a grandma would said she smuggled some formula in for her daughters baby and hid it from the nurses!!!!
My little guy struggled to latch and after four days of being in the hospital, I asked the nurses about some info about formula ( just incase I needed to go that route once I was home) they told me if that happened to come back up and they would continue to help me. They wouldn't give me any info on how many oz or how to make it ( firs time mom)
The clinics here everywhere it's plastered "breast is best"!!! Even the parental class I attended and the book they give you at the hospital.. They make it sound like formula is poison!! I know all the benefits of breastfeeding, I read every book out there, I had every intention to breastfeed but sometimes things don't happen the way you anticipated.
My little guy ended up with gerd and needed a hypoallergenic formula ( this is after I came on bc to figure out what was going on with him) by the time they figured it out my milk dried up.
I feel so bad for new moms here, it's like my one piece of advise now when my friends ask me! If you have to formula feed don't let anyone make you feel guilty, your decision, should be just that, your decision! And why as a new mom when your take your baby out, random people ask you " are you breastfeeding "?? And if you say no, you can see their face literally drop!!
Sorry, vent over..
Is it like this everywhere, or is this a Canadian thing?

Comments (36)

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Posted 02/20/2013

Some hospitals in the US do push breastfeeding quite a bit but there are also some that go the opposite way and give your baby formula if you are having a hard time breastfeeding whether or not you ask for it. It does sound like Canada might be a little pushier about it. Sorry you had that experience. I think people should try breastfeeding, but if it's just not working for you no need to pile on the guilt. There are a lot of hard things about being a mom without people making you feel bad about stuff you can't control!


d5, s2, d0


Posted 02/20/2013
I'm in the US, but with my first born I could not believe the number of strangers who asked if I was going to BF.
Why do they need to know? I understand normal chit chat, what are you naming the baby etc, but why do they care what lo will eat?
Posted 02/20/2013
I don't know I'm in the US but I was very clear about my birth plan however I was prepared with bottles formula and all if and when I needed it (because we did after I wasn't able to keep my supply up).

Anyhow for my experience neither was pushed I was support fully by my ob and my sons pedi. I feel lucky though living in Caifornia to have the best delivery hospital in my backyard for the state.

Also, love your post OP! I know I felt like a failure when bf didnt work out longer for us as planned.


DJ 3.9.12 & Baby #2 EDD 6.13.14


Posted 02/20/2013

I think the obsession with it is what disturbs me. One woman commented that she couldn't believe that babies were willing to eat formula when it smelled so bad. It's not like I was sitting there with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her mouth!

I delivered in an Army hospital, so it's probably more comparable to the Canadian system than a private hospital. They have lactation consultants all over and yes, they do encourage women to breastfeed, but they also give you formula if you need it. My daughter had latching issues too and lost more weight than she should have so they suggested that I supplement with formula and they gave me advice on how to avoid nipple confusion if I wanted to keep trying to breastfeed. I think it was pretty good, actually, and I was never made to feel guilty by them for formula feeding.

I don't understand why random ass people feel the need to know. I swear the next time I hear someone ask, I'm going to ask if they feed their 10-year-old kale and beets. Because it's just as relevant.


Lizzie + Alan = Pippa (3/7/12) and Anika (5/18/14)

Posted 02/20/2013

it's actually kind of the opposite in the US, depending on where you go.  I'm all about breastfeeding and feel formula samples shouldn't be given at hospitals, but i'd also hate for things to turn into the situation you just described.  you shouldn't be denied information you've requested, and guilt is the last thing to put on a new momma.  crazy how we can't seem to find a good middle ground on this!

Last edited 02/20/2013
I live in an area where everyone breastfeeds and the hospital is very pro breastfeeding. It's a little unheard of here to not even try BF but I am one who knew that I would be formula feeding from the start. I didn't have any guilt about it and I sure as heck didn't feel like talking to the lactation consultants about my decision. But of course, they were sent to my room to talk to me. I was pretty blunt though and they left me alone. To be fair, my first son was born 6 weeks early and I was in bad shape for 3 days and couldn't even see him so he was started on premie formula right away. So I didn't get anyone giving me grief my first pregnancy. The number of strangers that have told me I'm wrong to formula feed is ridiculous though. The decision should be that of the parents and the parents alone.
Posted 02/20/2013
I also feel like taking away formula samples is ridiculous too. If you are going to FF, you are going to do it regardless of samples being in the hospital. Of course, many argue that it's a crutch and too easy but whatever. I just don't agree and will never agree with that initiative. If I have a third, we will bring our own formula if they decide to do away with the samples.
Posted 02/20/2013

I'm surprised that you got the impression from the hospital that formula is "poison." I've gotten that impression from some gung-ho breastfeeding mothers I know, and even though I did get a lot of papers, pamphlets and the like that said the breast is best, I don't see how saying that one thing is better than another is the same as saying that the other thing is poison. At the hospital where I delivered they just asked me what I wanted to do and then lef tme alone. When I asked to see the LC they brought her right in. They didn't give me any formula but I didn't ask for any, I'm sure that if I had it wouldn't have been a problem. I don't have any problem with hospitals encouraging women to give BFing a shot and promoting the benefits of BFing, nor do I have a problem with hospitals providing formula to women who want it. I still breastfeed but I've always supplemented often (when I've been in desperate need of a break, when I've wanted to have a drink, and now whenever I work) and I don't feel bad about it . . . for the first dew months I tried to limit the amount of formula we gave her because I was worried about my supply, but that isn't an issue anymore so there's nothing that makes me feel bad, either. I know formula isn't poison, that's a silly thing to say. I'm pretty sure most womenknow that, too.



Arco Baby - March 21, 2012

Group Owner
Last edited 02/20/2013
Completly opposite where I'm at. Everyone assumed I was going to formula feed. I only know 2 people who have breastfed their baby. And seen maybe 1 person NIP my entire life (and that was with a cover). Both of my boys were brought up from the NICU with a whole case of formula in the shelf on their bassinet. I'm still BFing my almost 1 year old, and I get dirty looks and whispers ALL.OF.THE.TIME.


Alexander Adrian- 09/08/10


Posted 02/20/2013

I wish more hospitals would push breastfeeding here as well.  I'm just glad my mom is the hippie type who openly talked about breastfeeding us children or I probably wouldn't have even thought about it, you know?

That being said, if someone is adamant about ffing I don't think it's right to try to make them feel horribly about it, especially in the case of a feeding issue.



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