Your morning roundup for May 27, the day it helps to have a background in mathematics if you want to work for Pauly Shore. Video H/T Allen W

What we watched: 04:31 Rose 3pt Shot: Missed [CHI 73-63]
04:22 Rose Foul : Shooting (3 PF) [CHI 73-63]
02:40 Rose Turnover : Bad Pass (3 TO) Steal:Wade (2 ST) [CHI 77-67]
02:36 Wade Layup Shot: Made (17 PTS); Rose Foul : Shooting (4 PF) [CHI 77-69]
01:30 Wade 3pt Shot: Made (20 PTS) Assist: James (6 AST); Rose Foul : Shooting (5 PF) [CHI 79-75]
01:08 Rose Floating Jump shot: Missed [CHI 79-76]
00:52.9 Rose Turnover : Bad Pass (4 TO) Steal:James (3 ST) [79-79]
00:26.7 Rose Free Throw 2 of 2 Missed [MIA 81-80]
00:00.7 Rose 3pt Shot: Missed Block: James (2 BLK) [MIA 83-80] (Tommy Craggs)

What we're watching: Buster Posey is out for the season with a broken leg after that home plate collision with Scott Cousins earlier in the week, and the injury has been cause for some debate about baseball's rules for plays at the plate. Both Posey's agent and Giants GM Bruce Bochy are now pressuring the league to review its rule changes, and as it's been such an accepted component of the game for so long, it'll be interesting to see how Selig & Co. react. ESPN's Sport Science took a look at a baseball hit yesterday, and while those things are always overloaded with electric guitar riffs and too many replay angles, the numbers are usually interesting: They found that a base runner at full speed collides with a catcher at about 18mph, and with 3,215 pounds of force, which is more than in a blindside tackle in football (and in that game, the pads make a difference). That's enough to break a lot of legs. (Emma Carmichael)


If anyone knows what the hell happened last night, please email us and let us know: "And then it happened. The most dizzying display of shut-your-mouth the NBA has seen in some time. The most incredible outside-shooting display from players whose strength is well inside the three-point line. The most remarkable and sudden three-minute turnaround the league has seen in some time, if not ever. Possibly as stunning as Reggie Miller scoring eight points in 11 seconds to shock the Knicks in 1995. ... It might take you three times watching this one again to figure out how it happened. It might take you a day or two to even think about the Mavericks because that ending is worth about two days of savoring. But you got it. The Heat is in the Finals again, ready to take on the Mavs again." [Miami Herald]

A helpful reminder that Derrick Rose is not your villain, America: "Blame Rose for turning the ball over with 52.9 seconds and the game tied at 79. Or for missing a free throw with 26.7 seconds left that would have tied the game at 81. Go ahead, rip Rose for not creating a better shot to tie it at the buzzer than a 26-foot prayer over two defenders. The short lesson of the Heat earning an NBA Finals berth with an 18-3 run to finish the game is this: Rose didn't give this game away as much as LeBron James took it. To make Rose the primary villain for the Bulls blowing a 12-point lead with 3 minutes 14 seconds left understates James' role as the hero. To focus on what Rose didn't do on offense in the final minutes ignores how the Bulls, as a team, disappeared on defense. Sure, Rose made mistakes. But James made the Bulls pay for them because nobody could stop him." [Chicago Tribune]

Kolb Cornered: Philadelphia Eagles backup quarterback Kevin Kolb showed up and worked out with the guys over in South Jersey yesterday. He also talked about his role as "NFL dude getting screwed out of knowing where he'll play next season if there is a next season."

Kolb said it's been "pretty tough" dealing with his uncertain future but that he has "voiced my opinion. There's nothing else I can do." [6ABC]

Derek Lowe apparently isn't a drunken drag racer after all: Remember that whole story about how Atlanta Braves pitcher Derek Lowe was boozin' and drag racin' and bein' all reckless on the roads? Yeah, well forget it all. The City of Atlanta's prosecutor dropped all of the above. Said Lowe's counselor Bubba Head, ""The officer jumped to a conclusion and made a lot of mistakes." [AJC]

Elway gets a less-than-strongly worded letter from Elway: John Elway would prefer that a Ft. Collins, CO-based band called Elway change its name. Now, John Elway didn't threaten Band Elway with a lawsuit, so Band Elway says the name stays. But, Band Elway knows how pricey a lawsuit could be, so if John Elway wants to be prick. [Punk News]

One day until the planet's two best soccer teams meet at Wembley: Here's a story that frames Saturday's UEFA Champions League title match as "A Clash Of Soccer's Financial Titans." Which it is [Forbes]. Here's a look at Barca and Man U's "odd travel" patterns [Yahoo Sports]. And, at least one Man U defender is already fixated on not getting fixated about stopping Lionel Messi [EuroSport].

What will Mare Bear do in the off-season?: Perhaps go back on her medication.

We are all Dave McKenna CXII: Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is skulljacked in a Potomac ghetto.

Dana White really does not like the California State Athletic Commission: "When somebody does something wrong, they drag them in and hand out the punishment, and once that punishment has been handed out, the guy serves his sentence and moves on. If you look at boxing, man? There's been situations where guys have put weapons inside their hands and fought another human being. There have been instances where people have assaulted other people in the ring. … Let me ask you a question," White said. "Floyd Mayweather's been running around town punching everybody in the face – threatening people and doing all this stuff. You watch how fast Floyd Mayweather gets licensed." [MMA Junkie]

FIFA hits the self-destruct button, agrees to investigate Blatter:"Soccer ruling body FIFA opened a probe into its president Sepp Blatter following a request by Mohamed bin Hammam, who is seeking to unseat him in an election. Bin Hammam and fellow FIFA board member Jack Warner are facing a May 29 ethics panel hearing into a meeting where bin Hammam is accused of handing out about $2 million in cash to Caribbean soccer officials for "development" of the sport. Last night, Bin Hammam said Blatter knew of any payments, and suggested the president be added to the investigation." [Bloomberg]

Man wants to breast-feed: "The more I learned about male lactation, the more curious I became. I'm 33 years old and single in New York City, a cross between Carrie Bradshaw and George Costanza-if there's such a thing as a male biological clock, mine has started ticking. I know I can't birth a child myself, but what if I could bear one to suck at my bosom? Could my rudimentary mammae yield a copious supply of milk?" [Slate]

Usain Bolt was "nowhere near sharp," and he still won a race: Bolt needed a late kick to capture the 100 meters in 9.91 seconds, edging former world record-holder Asafa Powell at the Golden Gala on Thursday. Powell was timed in 9.93 and European champion Christophe Lemaitre finished third in 10.00.
As usual, Bolt got off to a slow start, but unlike his most recent races the world record-holder was behind until pulling in front with his very last strides. "I was nervous as it was my first race of the season and I didn't think it went well and the nerves got to me," Bolt said. "In fact it was a totally bad race and I'm just pleased I won." [AP]

Badminton is putting a skirt on it: "In an attempt to revive flagging interest in women's badminton as the 2012 London Olympics approach, officials governing the sport have decided that its female athletes need to appear more, how to put it, womanly. To create a more "attractive presentation," the Badminton World Federation has decreed that women must wear skirts or dresses to play at the elite level, beginning Wednesday. Many now compete in shorts or tracksuit pants. The dress code would make female players appear more feminine and appealing to fans and corporate sponsors, officials said." [NY Times]

Former WNBA player Margo Dydek has died: "Dydek, who had been in a coma since suffering a heart attack on May 19, died Friday in Brisbane, Australia, where she was coaching. Dydek, 37, was about three months pregnant with her third child. Her death was confirmed, but there were no further details as of late Thursday night in the United States." [ESPN]

Kyle Busch learns "the hard way" that a "bright yellow Lexus" is not a "toy": "It wasn't a toy, it's a high performance vehicle," Busch said. "It should be driven with caution. Obviously I didn't have caution and I had a lack of judgment. There's probably reason why on the TV commercials that they always show at the bottom, 'Professional driver, closed course.' Mine was not that. Again, I apologize sincerely. All I can do is make sure it doesn't happen again." [AP]

Everyone wants credit for Lombardi's grave now: "A member of Lombardi's family saw the story and blanched at the suggestion the family was indifferent to the site when he knew the council was taking care of it. One of Lombardi's grandsons communicates occasionally with Drach and has thanked him for the council's work. The grandson, John Lombardi, put the Press-Gazette in touch with Drach. 'We're local, we're here, we're in Middletown, that's where the grave is,' Drach said. 'We're not out for notoriety, either, and we didn't want to make any kind of stink, but we do take care of the grave and the family knows it.'" [Green Bay Press-Gazette]