Dear Abby: My next-door neighbor, who is a friend, knew we bought an expensive vacuum cleaner last year. She asked if she could try it out on her carpet and I agreed, thinking it would be a one-time favor. She also watches our house and feeds the cat while we're on vacation.

She recently asked if she could borrow it again, and I didn't want to let her, so I made an excuse that I needed to buy more vacuum bags. I suspect she used it again without my permission two months ago while we were away because the cord wasn't like I had left it.

How can I tactfully handle this situation?

-- Am I Selfish?

Dear Am I Selfish?: Selfish? No. Stuck? Yes. You allowed your friend to use the vacuum once and have given her free run of your home in your absence. Because she has used the vacuum again without your permission, she is likely to do it again.


Dear Abby: I am a 19-year-old woman who recently got over a bout of compulsive hair pulling that left the top of my head bald. The hair hasn't completely grown back yet, so I refuse to go anywhere without a hat.

When I'm out in public, people often tell me it's rude to wear a hat indoors. What can I say to people when they continue to badger me?

-- Covered Up


Dear Abby: My mother refuses to get a cellphone. I know she isn't afraid of technology. Her explanation for how to handle an emergency is: "We will handle it like we did before there were cellphones." I had to remind her of the limited availability of pay phones or courtesy phones nowadays.

It bothers me that she chooses not to have one. I find it hurtful that an easy way to handle family emergencies is being ignored. Any advice?

-- Out of Touch

