Wrestling Wrap Up: 10/05 - 10/11

Jeff Hardy turns to the dark side! Plus, Mickie James to TNA, Edge to Smackdown and Bound for Glory results!

Look, most people who have a problem with this story are people who always have problems with TNA so this is really just par for the course, right? Plus, we might not have seen the Jeff thing coming, but we all knew something was going to happen that would make us feel icky and underwhelmed. And it was a good main event too, right? Up until the end. I feel like Francis McDormand's character in Fargo, where she's trying to talk to Peter Stormare, who's sitting in the back of her prowler, and she doesn't understand why someone would kill for money. "And here you are, and it's a beautiful day."

'Well, I just don't understand."

I think what I'm dreading most is Matt Hardy being brought in down the line as a surprise "ultimate weapon" against Jeff.

Since I'm frothing over the Jeff and Matt and the cost of tea in China, I might as well keep it on the TNA tip and talk about last Thursday's live PPV lead-in Impact. It's not as noteworthy now since the PPV is over and done with, but we did get to see the Hardcore Country debut of Mickie James. God, I like Mickie a lot, but there are only a few things that I despise more than country music: shallots, monkeys that don't dance and country music that I'm forced to listen to. Anyways, I enjoy Mickie, who Matt Striker once had the sheer sheeri-ness to call "zaftig," but new Knockouts make me nervous because I feel like we're just putting more cruel walls between me and seeing Daffney back on Impact. Anyways, it'll be interesting to see a Knockout in the mix who doesn't use the words "skank" or "slut" in place of "and" and "the."

Also, it wasn't pretty by any means, but Flair and Foley both bled like magnificent bastards in a Last Man Standing Match – in which the trademarked "Flair Flop" actually cost Flair the win!

Also, you all saw TNA's new Jersey cliq "The Shore," which reports say the WWE was fuming about. I don't know who in the WWE was fuming, but I assume it's the normal person or persons whose job it is to fume over such things. Apparently they were upset that TNA, essentially, beat them to the punch. God, what was stopping them? They had Zack Ryder already, who was douchey enough, and they mention the Jersey Shore on every episode of their programming to try to convince everyone that wrestling not only exists, but belongs alongside key pop culture trends. There wasn't anyone in developmental they could have slapped some orange paint on and send up to Stamford? The fact that TNA has more of a pipeline to the indies has worked to their advantage, folks. They were able to bring in Rob Eckos and Becky Bayless to fill the oversized sunglasses of Robbie E. and Cookie.

Some of the rejected names for The Shore duo?

Trapz Provalone and Digsy
"The Occurrence" and Herpette
Oily Dennis and Jub Jub
Gooch the Third and Zartana
"A Quiet Night at Home with the Family" and Rotten
Pushups Postlethwaite and Gonorrhea Perlman


By the way, for the past few weeks TNA has been losing the raging Gettysberg that is my Thursday night DVR schedule. I never get to see the end of Impact because they make it bleed into ReACTION. This wouldn't be a problem other nights, but I get the East Coast feed of Spike and Thursday night is the 405 traffic jam of TV nights. So until further notice, I'm just going to assume that every episode ends like this…

That's right. With Requiem for a Corgi.

By the way, anyone watching NXT? Is it still a kingdom of derp?

Some sweet Smackdown-y goodness on page 3…

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