Well, the first Rock Of Ages trailer has been unleashed upon the web and it surely is ...something. For those unfamiliar, Rock Of Ages is a broadway musical that has seen massive success and as such, Hollywood thought it'd be a great idea to cast a bunch of big names and bring it to the masses. But what if the A-list actors fail to successfully translate the 80s, rock-tacular musical to the big screen?

But let's pretend for now that the movie translation is true to the original theater production. What is up with the casting? I get Russell Brand as a rocker type, but he's played the role before (see: Get Him To The Greek) so no points for originality. Alec Baldwin as a grungy club owner? Sure, I'm on board. But Tom Cruise as the "legendary icon of rock"? Maybe it's Tom's tabloid (Scientology) persona, the fact that Twisted Sister's Dee Snider played the role on Broadway, or maybe it's because I can't get the image of his fine ass shaking cocktails behind the bar in Cocktail out of my head — I just don't buy it. Then again, there are casting choices that make almost too much sense, like Julianne Hough (who seems to have cemented her Footloose/DWTS typecast already) and Catherine Zeta-Jones. I realize the movie is from the same production team that made the Hairspray revamp, but why does Catherine seem to be playing the role of Velma Von Tussle all over again? Or is it Velma Kelly from Chicago that she's channeling? Holy crap, both roles are named Velma? Maybe that's just more proof that the musical-to-movie genre could use a few new ideas — and that Rock Of Ages, much like drunken sex with a sleazy frontman — is empty and regrettable.