30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | 1 USERS: A+

Just then, Kenneth shows up with a bouquet of flowers. Jack thinks they're the ones he sent, but instead they're from Devin, who has included a card with a loving and thoughtful note: "FEMA paid for these showers, because your show is going to be a disaster." Lemon freaks out. Pete starts to wonder if he jumped the gun in getting a Chinese-character "freedom" tattoo. He walks away in front of the high-def cam, showing him as a naked old man. Jack asks Kenneth to give him a moment alone with Lemon, so he, too, walks away in front of the high-def cam which reveals him to be a bobbing, grinning muppet. Jack lies his ass off, telling Lemon she's better than Oprah. Still anxious, she runs off. Then Jack steps in front of the high-def cam, showing what must be younger footage of himself, because damn he looks good. Less than 30 seconds later, Jack's phone buzzes. It's a hysterical Lemon: "I fully understand the irony of what I am about to say... but I have locked myself in my dressing room, and I am not coming out!" Commercials.

Down the hall, Tracy is recording the most amazing song ever and has enlisted the help of everyone under the sun -- including, but not limited to, a mariachi band, Jenna scatting, Kenneth on cowbell, a four-piece jazz band, a DJ, a string quartet, and, I do believe, Tina Fey's husband on keyboards. Needless to say, it's effing horrible. To Tracy's credit, he realizes this. He marvels, "How can five of the most popular musical styles, all played at once, sound so bad?" He decides to seek guidance from a fellow EGOT-er. As he starts off, an even more Lemon-ized Frank stomps up with a hand on his hip to tell Tracy he's supposed to be at a fitting. Frank quickly realizes his condition has only gotten worse and shouts, "Nerds!" Tracy thinks aloud, "Is it me, or is Liz Lemon getting hotter?"

Over by Lemon's makeshift dressing room, Jack tries to talk his latest whacked-out starlet (that'd be Lemon) down from the ledge. She says she doesn't want to do the show anymore. He refuses her request.

Across town, Tracy consults EGOT-ress Whoopi Goldberg, who reveals that she got her EGOT on a bet, too. She won, forcing Arlen Specter to change parties, thereby creating the Supermajority. It happens, I guess. Tracy wonders why it's so hard to EGOT when he's paying all these people to do it for him. Whoopi tells him he can only EGOT with projects he believes in. Then Tracy notices Whoopi's Emmy is for Daytime. She says it still counts and advises him that awards will come if he does things from the heart. He asks her for a glass of water, then takes the chance to start snatching statuettes. But an EGOT-ress cannot be fooled. Whoopi catches him before he successfully absconds.

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30 Rock




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