What’s t-t-troubling you today, Bunkie? Is it those h-h-headlines?

“Ola And Abel”—Olabinjo And Abimbola—“The Nigerian Bodybuilders?”

Trump Signs Democrat Open Borders Law Into Law? Trump Declares National Emergency At Border? Drug Cartels To Control Border Barriers? The Triumvirate of Sandi Ocasio-Cortez, and Muslimas Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar Run the US House?

Jussie Smollett Skates?

Can I say that? Is it “racist” to say “skates?”

But, You say you don’t like your headlines today? Is that it…?

You say your “partner” ran off with your best friend’s Shepherd? You say Shepherd is reading the news on Fox TV and your cat watches? You say you’d like to kiss Anne Coulter on the lips but she won’t shut up long enough? You say Trump is playing 24 Dimensional chess that only he and Spock can understand?

Is that what’s troubling you, Bunkie?

Well, look up! Rise up! Stand up! Man up! Walk tall, and carry a big Subway sandwich! But, never give up! Never give up! Never give up that ship-uh!

So, you say you want a revolution? Yeah, we all wanna change the world. So, tell me—Arm-Chair General, Comments Captain, Halfway Jefe—how does that start?

Where do you go to do that?

The revolution. How does that work?

You do what—stand in the door? You fight tanks in your driveway?

Can you say, “30 millimeter canon fire?”


Can You say, “Hellfire missile down my chimney?”


How’s that work again? You escalate—from your window? Against co-opted Chicago gangs or illegals—now armed, uniformed, and sworn as, the 101St USA Life Guard Pelosi?

What’s that? You say, “US troops will never turn on Americans?” There are always people who will pull the trigger: it’s the law; it’s patriotic; it’s orders; its sexy.

Or, how would you like some nasty EU troops? Or Canadian? Or UN? Or Chinese, Mexican, North Korean, African, Cuban, Turkish, Pakistani, or whatever? With heavy equipment, guns, planes, and a lust? Think they won’t kill? Think they love America? Think they love you?

Jes’ sayin’.

Where do you go for this revolution you post about, comment about, and—most importantly— Tweet about? Because Tweeting is just so importanto. Is it on the street? The Internet? TV? Washington, Portland, LA? Oh, my!

How you get there? You gonna live off the land? Cut and slash and battle your way, all the way there? To DC? And all those “folks” in DC will just let you come in and take away their free bennies? Welcome you as heroes?

Exactly who you gonna revolt against? Who you gonna shoot? You gonna be in some army? A group? Some militia—hiding out, where? Striking at night—how? Who?

How you gonna get away?

How do you hide from people who can see in the dark? See your heat? See through walls? Read and hear your every word? People who track your face or license plate in a crowd, from a lamp-post, or from space? People who know what you’re thinking. How do you hide from a superscience you can’t hide from?

So. Tell me. What’s this “revolution” bullshit? What you gonna do when they come for you?

Have you thought this through, yet? I think maybe you’d better—Arm Chair General, Halfway Jefe, Comments Captain…

This ain’t no disco.

(With Thanks to The Old Philosopher Eddie Lawrence, Matt Bracken, COPS, The Beatles, and Talking Heads.)


Conservative, Political, Supernatural, Assorted Thriller Books—That FORESAW AND PREDICTED All THIS. Written By Jeffrey A. Friedberg, Writer Of This Article.


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