Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Captain Joe will get you shot tonight

"Captain Joe"

Why does this name strike terror into the hearts of Palestinian parents in the West Bank?

There's a road in the West Bank called highway 55. Depending on your point of view, it's the road connecting Qalqilya to Shechem...or Kefar Sava to Eilon Moreh. In any event, it's a primary traffic artery in the Shomron.

Highway 55 used to go through Arab cities and villages...Qalqilya, Nabi Alias, Azzoun, Jinsafut, Al Funduq, Jeet, Shechem...but because those places became rather inhospitable to Jewish vehicles, bypass roads were built and the road 55 of today is radically different than it was 15 years ago.

While highway 55 doesn't go through Azzoun anymore, it still bypasses Azzoun to about 100 meters in certain places -- and that's when the trouble starts. Over the past few weeks, dozens of Jewish cars have been stoned and firebombed by Palestinian teenagers from Azzoun. In addition to smashed windshields, windows and bodywork dents -- Jewish drivers and passengers were hurt as well.

Frustrated by the IDF's inability to keep this main highway safe and secure, settlers demonstrated on the road in front of Azzoun 2 weeks ago...yet it's only a matter of time before someone gets seriously hurt or killed (Ofra Moses was killed by a Palestinian firebomb on road 55 about 20 years ago). The settler retaliation is bound to happen as well.

However, not everyone in the IDF was content with its less than effective response, and one day these leaflets appeared in Arabic all over Azzoun...

YNET translated this leaflet as follows:

"We demand that the residents of Azun stop hurling stones and Molotov cocktails, and if you don't stop, we [the IDF] will enter the village, start firing at the residents and close down the businesses. This is our decision, and if you don’t stop the riots you will bear the responsibility," the leaflets read. They were signed by "Captain Joe".

In the pamphlets, the residents were demanded to watch the village's children, who have a habit of throwing stones at IDF soldiers operating in the area.

What doesn't appear in the English YNET story is the reactions of the Palestinians. For that, you need the Hebrew version of YNET. (Don't worry, I'll translate it beneath the Hebrew)

יממה לאחר תליית הכרוז בכפר, אמרו כמה תושבים בעזון שהם חוששים שהדבר מעיד על כוונה אמיתית של החיילים. "מי מבטיח לנו מחר שלא יהיה ירי מטורף על תושבים, כי החיילים תמיד יוכלו לטעון שיידו עליהם אבנים", אמר פעיל מקומי בכפר. לדבריו, לאף אחד אין שליטה מלאה על הילדים, ו"גם החיילים הם לא מלאכים ולרוב זה הם שמתגרים בתושבים, ובעיקר בילדים". תושב אחר הוסיף כי מעכשיו ההורים יחששו לשלוח את ילדיהם לבית הספר: "אני חושש שהצבא באמת מתכוון ליישם את האיום. אם תופסים מישהו, שיענישו אותו, שיעצרו אותו. אבל למה לפגוע בחפים מפשע? אני חושש שהחיילים רוצים לעשות מקרה כזה, לפגוע בתושבים כדי שהילדים ילמדו לקח. הילדים הם ילדים והחיילים אמורים להיות יותר אחראים
A day after the leaflets were hung up in the village, some of the residents of Azzoun said they were worried that this represented the true intention of the [IDF] soldiers. "Who will promise us tomorrow that there won't be crazy shooting at [Azzoun's] residents, because the soldiers can always claim there were rocks thrown at them," said a local Azzoun "activist." According to him [the unnamed activist], no one has complete control over the teenagers and "the soldiers aren't angels, and most of them antagonize the [Azzoun] residents -- specifically children." Another [unnamed resident] added that from now on the parents will be scared from sending their children to school: "I am worried the army will carry out their threat. If they catch someone, then punish him and arrest him, but why punish innocents?" I'm worried that soldiers want this to happen and will hurt the residents to teach the children a lesson. Children are children, and soldiers are supposed to be more responsible."
So what do the Palestinians say? "Kids will be kids." It's only rocks and firebombs -- why are you getting all huffed up? And how dare you threaten us...we're simply peaceful parents.

Driving past Azzoun almost daily, I can personally vouch that the IDF soldiers have no intention of going into Azzoun. They don't want to go in there...don't want to deal with the rock or firebomb throwers. They don't harass Palestinian children -- they are hardly ever in Azzoun to begin with!

And yet..."Captain Joe" (now in big trouble with the IDF for his unauthorized leaflets) managed to scare some of the residents? The IDF is unable to keep the road safe, and yet "Captain Joe" has put fear into the hearts of the rock throwers? And their parents?

YNET has continued reporting on Captain Joe:

West Bank settlers have had enough of the stones hurled at their cars. Dozens of Israeli vehicles arrived Sunday morning at the entrance to the village of Azun, east of Qalqilaya, in protest of the hurling of stone and Molotov cocktails at Israeli cars traveling in the West Bank.

The organizers of the demonstration, which was authorized by the police, protested against the security forces' helplessness in their battle against the stone throwers.

The demonstrators did not enter the village, but parked their cars at the roadside and made an appearance. Military forces secured the demonstration, which ended an hour later with no unusual incidents.

The settlers told the assistant commander of the district's brigade that if the stone throwing continued, they would block the road every morning.

Two Israelis were lightly injured Saturday by stones hurled at the car they were traveling in. One of the injured, a 15-year-old boy, managed to reach him home in the settlement of Karnei Shmoron and was evacuated from there to the Meir Hospital in Kfar Saba by a Magen David Adom crew.

Another Israeli was lightly wounded on Friday after a Molotov cocktail hit his car.

Following the stone throwing Saturday, Palestinians reported that a large IDF force had raided the village of Azun and searched its houses.

According to the Palestinians, the officer who led the force into the village was none other than "Captain Joe", who had hung leaflets in the village about a week ago, threatening to fire at the residents if they continue throwing stones.

Stones and firebombs being thrown at cars traveling 55 miles an hour down a road -- is attempted murder. Teenagers who routinely attempt murder and are encouraged by their parents, religious leaders, teachers and Palestinian Authority politicians and terrorists -- despite being teenagers are AT RISK OF GETTING SHOT. Get THAT through your heads.

Kudos to Captain Joe, even though the IDF is giving him hell. I'm sick of responding to EMT calls for people injured by rocks and firebombs.

If a leaflet will scare up the Azzoun residents, then so be it.

The following is dedicated by Lurker to Captain Joe...

(to the tune of Billy Joel’s Captain Jack, of course)

Saturday night and you're still hangin' around
Tired of living in your one mosque town
you'd like to find a few rocks on the ground
for awhile...

So you run out with your keffiyah and your gasoline
And you hang out on the Fatah or the Hamas scene
Soon you're stoning Jews, just like the old routine
And you smile


But Captain Joe will get you shot tonight
And send you to Shuhada island
Captain Joe will see you rot tonight
And to your virgins, you'll be flyin'

Oh yeah,...

Crossposted on (Captain) JoeSettler


Anonymous said...

Lovely sentiment, truly lovely.
I guess being the people of the book should not discourage one from employing a song by an Italian American (whose lyrics happen to be about gratifying oneself in a way I suppose I can't write about on this quasi religious blog)to support an effort to kill people who threaten your safety. Because in your newly crafted lyrics, you do suggest killing them, correct?
Keep up the good work.
(Oh boy, now here come the comments from the "eirev rav" in support of killing and maiming our enemies because they are savages and we are, well, I guess, civilized)
Maybe I'll craft some lyrics to the Who's Don't Get Fooled Again in response (although judging from the song you chose, I should probably go with "Squeezebox")
All the best, The Entertainer

Anonymous said...

Entertainer, you dirty mind, what lyrics are you talking about!

Anonymous said...

The song, Captain Jack, by Billy Joel, is about gratifying oneself and not being the "master of your domain". That's what ALL the lyrics of the song are about.
The Entertainer

Gila said...

I understand that certain ultra-Orthodox areas in Israel also have a problem with rock-throwing youth (and rock-throwing grown men), who have a penchant for setting things on fire/ throwing rocks at moving cars/ etc.

Perhaps Captain Joe can pay them a visit?

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Gila: If it means that putting up fliers in Yiddish in neighborhoods where rocks are thrown -- and it causes people to think twice, then bring it on.

Entertainer: Sounds like you support the throwing of rocks and firebombs at cars? Or think its just some childish, innoncent behaviour? Why not speak to the Mozes family in Alfei Menashe?

Anonymous said...

Kvish 55 -- is that the road on which Techiya Bloomberg (Hy"d) was murdered, and her husband and daughter severely injured in a pigua yeri some years back? (And if I recall correctly, it turned out the murderers were PA "police".)

Yasher Ko'ach to Captain Joe.

Anonymous said...

BTW, my Arabic-reading skills, always minimal at best, have gotten rather rusty. But if I'm not mistaken, the "Captain Joe" signature could just as well be vocalized as "Captain Ju" [or "Captain Jew" if you prefer].

It's a "to-may-to/to-mah-to" kinda thing. (Or a "Moslem/Muslim", "Mohammed/Muhammad" kinda thing.)

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Maoz: In addition to Techiya HY"D, three months ago Ido Zoldan was murdered on Road 55 by 2 Palestinian Authority police officers (Olmert's friends from Fatah, the "good guys")

Anonymous said...

Maoz: Captain Joe


Anonymous said...

The Entertainer is a bit of a tightass.

Lurker said...

To The Entertainer:

Gee, what an imagination you've got. Captain Jack happens to be about a bored, messed-up kid from the suburbs, who goes out on Saturday night to buy drugs from a dealer called "Captain Jack" and get high. That's entirely clear from the lyrics, as anyone can see. Yes, there is one single line in the song that makes a passing reference to what you said, but that's hardly the topic of the song, not by a long shot. Why that particular single line has swollen in your mind into the subject of the entire song, is a question you might want to ask your therapist. And while you're at it, you might do well to explore your latent bigotry against Italian-Americans as well.

As the author of the "newly crafted lyrics", please allow me to assure you that my intent was obviously facetious. As a genteel, card-carrying member of the "People of the Book" like yourself, I certainly would never condone taking any sort of aggressive, violent action against our enemies simply because they are trying to murder us. Why should we concern ourselves with a few rascally youngsters who simply want to stone and burn a few Jews to death every now and then? True, it's a bit annoying to have to deal with the occasional maimings and fatalities. But after all, how frequently does anyone actually get killed in those attacks (as opposed to merely injured or crippled)? And let's be honest, does anyone even remember Ofra Moses or her 5-year-old son what's-his-name anyway? You're absolutely right, there's certainly no justification for taking any action that might threaten the safety or health of the firebombers. And if maintaining the moral high ground means sacrificing a few women and children every now and then, then so be it.

Maybe I'll make up for the misunderstanding by writing a new song, dedicated to The Entertainer, about how victims of Arab terror and their survivors ought to be good, civilized, enlightened Jews, and learn to just "turn the other cheek".

RivkA with a capital A said...

Go Lurker!

Lion of Zion said...

i think captain joe needs to pay a visit to a certain jew in london also.


Anonymous said...

As Tuco said in 'The good, the bad and the ugly': "When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk."

That kind of poster does nothing but cause trouble. If the situation is really as bad as you describe then the rules of engagement should be changed to allow soldiers (and civilians) to use dealy force to protect themselves and ensure the right of safe passage.

Anonymous said...

"If the situation is really as bad as you describe then the rules of engagement should be changed..."

Don't worry they will be changed, they're just too busy at the moment trying to protect the residents of sderot from all the rockets...

I mean if the situation is really that bad there's no way the government would prevent the army and citizens from protecting themselves, right?

Eliezer Eisenberg said...

I can't believe this. Didn't you ever hear of the Krauthammer rule? Everyone is Jewish unless proven otherwise? Particularly apt in the case of Billy Joel...


Lurker said...


Good point. In that connection, notice the mezuza on the door on the back cover of The Stranger.

Anonymous said...

Just to put this in perspective,
I'm a resident of Shomron too, Ariel exactly, and while I haven't had to suffer too many of those incidents on road 60, the body work of my car shows the scars from being targeted by arab kids.
I also served in reserve last november, and we DID go INTO Al Azzun quite a few times, closing down the entire ville, and making our presence clear every time there was such an incident (BTW, kuddos to Magav Qalkilya for their impressive crowd dispersion skills)

To be fair, jewish kids also tend to target arab cars in this area, in response for the situation described in the article.

Lovely neighbourhood ain't it?

Anonymous said...

Speaking as an international woman who was detained in a family's apartment by the IDF in Azzoun, as they were using the bedroom as a sniper's post overlooking the town square where children were congregating, and who was physically threatened by 'Captain Joe' and his cronies, I can safely say that in my three months in that village the IDF entered almost every day.

They routinely invaded the village with their sirens blaring, waiting outside the boys' school at the end of the school day to provoke the boys, or shooting live ammunition in the streets for no apparent reason. 'Captain Joe' bragged to me about his sniper skills the previous month when he shot two boys, reversed, and shot them again. What a hero he was when he dragged the residents of Izbat at Tabib out of their houses at 2am one morning to tell them he would kill their children for throwing stones, and then pointing loaded guns at young men's heads.

I can also safely say that in my time in Azzoun, never once did I see boys throw stones or molotovs at the highway. The soldier's excuse for every cowardly act of harassment against the villagers of Azzoun was these supposed acts of stone throwing. Sure, the boys often threw stones at the armored personnel carriers after they sat provocatively in the town square for half an hour, but who could blame them? Who wouldn't be a little frustrated after an entire lifetime of abuse and oppression from macho fascist soldiers threatening their families, stealing their land and refusing their freedom of movement?

'Captain Joe', yeah, what a fucking hero...

Kamagra said...

i like too much the captain joe because he is a very happy person, his show is very good and most people watch it on tv every night, i think that is one of the best show that i have seen.

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