meerkakjprata nedienas

brain overflow

8/6/20 12:51 am

― Emerson, Ralph Waldo

7/14/17 11:33 pm

Trying to give a fuck gives me anxiety.

Not giving a fuck gets me killed (one way or the other)

well SHIT, the path is P DAMN clear, now, that, you know, i type it the fuck out.

12/10/16 03:55 am

That feeling when you know everyone is god,
and you feel like a dickhead for telling them how to live,
but they still fuckin up

10/14/16 12:23 pm - Revelations 2:1

I used to RANT.
all of my posts or w/e writings were, essentially RANTS.
That was the one genuine commentary i could get out of me.
and it WORKED.

then, at some point, i lost it. became pussified. afraid. too pc? scared to stand out?
Tried writing informative pieces, or shit that covered every angle and all perspectives.
didnt work.
oh boy how it didnt work.
Because, fundamentally i am ANGRY. not scared. not accepting. not caring. not pc.
not primarily, anyway.
What i AM, though, is ANGRY as FUCK.

And even though intellectually i get the point etc, captivating writing or art of any kind can only come from the heart, i.e. genuine feelings.
un tempered and un tampered-with.

I am Jacks' burning rage at all the things that are wrong, all the small-mindedness, all the ways in which we as human and I, personally, are less than what we could be.
I am Jacks' loathing for all the wasted potential everywhere.
I am Jacks' hatred of being a part of the human race and of being complicit myself in all that i observe in others.

So here's to resurrecting a more genuine form of writing, communication and most importantly - to a more genuine self.

Cheers. Bitches.

8/23/16 12:40 am

Drīz sākšu rakstīt lietas kuras es zinu zinu.
mabbe babby

9/22/15 06:45 pm

— Anaïs Nin

8/9/15 01:28 am

factoring in the increase in intelligence/awareness, growth/learning could be optimized by returning to old dynamic action-based real-time learning vs adopted contemplative style?

8/8/15 09:53 pm

“I like it when somebody gets excited about something. It's nice.”
― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

8/4/15 05:52 pm

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
in there.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
you want to blow my book sales in
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
and we sleep together like
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do

7/5/15 03:50 am

― Meister Eckhart

6/16/15 02:39 am

“Do you know what it feels like to be aware of every star, every blade of grass? Yes. You do. You call it 'opening your eyes again.' But you do it for a moment. We have done it for eternity. No sleep, no rest, just endless... endless experience, endless awareness. Of everything. All the time. How we envy you, envy you! Lucky humans, who can close your minds to the endless deeps of space! You have this thing you call... boredom? That is the rarest talent in the universe! We heard a song — it went 'Twinkle twinkle little star....' What power! What wondrous power! You can take a billion trillion tons of flaming matter, a furnace of unimaginable strength, and turn it into a little song for children! You build little worlds, little stories, little shells around your minds, and that keeps infinity at bay and allows you to wake up in the morning without screaming!”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

2/2/15 09:42 pm

how the fuck can you have survivors syndrome without doing and/or surviving a goddamn thing?

2/2/15 09:17 pm

― Kurt Vonnegut

1/24/15 10:49 am

Nesen/ik pa laikam atceros ka man bija kautkāda X angļu valodas mācību programma uz 5-6 diskiem kad es biju mazinjsh. Tur bija arī izrunas fīčas. jauns vārds - nospied pogu un dzirdi kā izrunā, nospied pogu un pasaki pats un tad var redzēt uz cik procentiem ir pareizi. rādīja arī (no idea how to call this properly) skaņas līkni? nu tb svārstības etc? varēja skatīties kā/cik labi arī tās pārklājās etc.
sēdēju kā maziņš autists 7-9 gados un visiem vārdiem kačāju izrunu uz vismaz 90%. ha.
retrospektā pieņemu ka tas man DAUDZ deva ilgtermiņā. smagas aizdomas ka to ka ieraugot vārdu es zinu kā viņu izrunāt (neskaitot tos kam ir franchu vai kkada izcelsme, fuck that shit) man tas toch ir devis.
biju gandrīz gatavs lekt vilcienā un maukt uz jelgavu meklēt to figņu pirms atcerējos ka tur tagad īrnieks dzīvo :(

also wtf ir tas ka es kautkādu mazu randomu dēļ esmu gatvs insane čakarēties bet ne kautkādu "nopietnu" lietu dēļ. what up with that huh?

10/24/14 01:35 am - this is me

9/8/14 07:35 am


9/8/14 07:33 am

from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom."

9/8/14 06:30 am


9/3/14 07:30 pm

― Michel de Montaigne

9/3/14 07:10 pm

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