What is a dog catcher's favorite food?

Pound cake.

P.S. (I thought of this one on my own so hopefully it's original. My daughter liked it anyway so I guess that's all that matters!)

What kind of chocolate do you find in the fluff catcher in a dryer?


How are dog catchers paid?

By the pound!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Girl and Her Sniper Rifle

I had a friend named Sierra once. She was a pretty chill girl. Really only had two defining characteristics about her though, her love of lemon-lime sodas and her innate marksmanship. She was a damn good crackshot.

Her dad was a bit of a gun nut. Owned lots of rifles including a classic...

Two old men, who are growing very old and love the sport of baseball make a pact with each other one day...

These men love the game, they always talk the off-season trades, the winter meetings, watch every game of the season, and recollect on the players of their hay day. So they decide to form a pact. The first one to die will come back to the other and inform them if there is baseball in heaven.


Ever read The Catcher in the Rye?

Or are you holden on for a better time to read it?


stick, hit a ball and started toward a white bag
down the line. Everyone stood up and yelled,
"Run, run!"
Then a second guy came up to the plate,
whacked the ball and started down toward the
white bag. Everyone sto...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gorilla Catcher


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔



Where does a catcher sit down for dinner?

Behind the plate

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes up one morning and finds a gorilla on his roof.

So he searched the internet and sure enough, there's an advert for "Gorilla Catchers". He calls the number, and the gorilla catcher, Bobby, says he will be over in 30 minutes.

Bobby arrives within 30 minutes and gets out of his van. He's got a LADDER, a BASEBALL BAT, a SHOTGUN and a HUGE DOG....

Bob the Gorilla Catcher




Why is a fat dog so afraid of the dog catcher?

Because they're paid by the pound.

The Gorilla Catcher

A man looked out his window one day, and lo and behold, there was a huge gorilla up the tree in his back yard. Not knowing what to do, he googled "gorilla catcher" and amazingly, there was a professional gorilla catcher, close by. He called, and was told, "Stay in the house till I get there, but I'l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An attractive woman is in bed with her secret lover.

She hears her husband come home unexpectedly and tells her naked lover to jump into the wardrobe and hides his clothes. The husband walks into the bedroom to find his wife reading. “Hello honey, I got off work early and went to the gym, I desperately need a shower”. He opened the wardrobe door to ge...

A Scotsman goes to America and attends his very baseball game.

He’s never been to a game in Scotland, nor watched a game on TV, or seen movies such as Bull Durham, The Babe or Eight Men Out.

He figures out players need to beat out the throw to first base before arriving to first base

The visiting teams pitcher throws 4 pitches out of the strike zo...

Jay-Z owned a baseball team.


Because Soviet jokes are on-trend...

The CIA, the FBI and the KGB are competing for the title of the Best Criminal Catcher. They're given a task by the General Secretariat of UN to catch a rabbit in the forest which he'd released. The CIA plants well-trained animal spies throughout the forest, and after 3 months of investigation they c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The creation of a pussy, improved version.

Each man was a master-of-craft at his trade,

Now by God in his wisdom a task they'd been laid.

See them gathered together, by calling divine

to fashion a vulva of peerless design.

The first man, a butcher of eminent skill

took a hold of his bla...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man reads an advertisement in the paper for the best raccoon hound ever and decides to go have a look.

The man reaches out to the person who placed the ad and scheduled a date and time to meet. Upon arriving at the agreed-upon location, a patch of woods in Mississippi, the owner of the raccoon hound informs the man that this is in fact the best coonhound he has ever seen or owned. However the owner e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

McTavish The Boat Builder [NSFW][Long]

So one day while on holiday Lee decides to visit a local bar...

While inside he orders a whiskey and while waiting for his drink his eye is caught by a man muttering obscenities a few stools over.

Curious, Lee decides to try his luck and asks what seems to be the problem.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man, a dog, a bears nuts.


Which baseball player has the shortest commute?

The catcher, he only works from home.

So there is this guy named Juan...

So there is this guy named Juan and Juan is a great guy. He doesn't drink he doesn't smoke, he doesn't beat his wife and kids. He doesn't kick his armadillo a cross the back yard.

One day, person number one comes up to him and says "Juan, you're a great guy. You don't drink. You don't smoke....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dog is walking down the street.

Suddenly, another pooch appears out of the alley next to him. This dog is panting and looks terrified. The first dog barks.
"Hey man! Are you alright?"
The terrierified canine shouts.
"NO! I've been through a awful experience!"

"Tell me! Calm down and tell me whats happened!"

What do Mike Piazza, and an altar boy have in common?

They were both catchers for the Padres.

A man goes to the beach...

...and he sets himself up to show off his new beach bod. A few women glance his way, but none strike up a conversation. He looks a little ways down the beach to see lots of women around an older guy who is nowhere near as chiseled as him.

As the crowd disperses, the man approaches his compe...
