Monday, July 29, 2013

The Brony Conspiracy, Part 1

Over the past few months, Agents of the New Order have had repeated encounters with a group of bronies calling themselves the "Cutie Mark Crusaders Militant Coalition".

You might recall, for example, their horseplay in the Ikao system. Agent Lord Mandelor resolved to "corral them into line".

After Mandelor conducted a successful awox operation against them, Botten Miromme began to leave complaints in the comments section of MinerBumping posts and my EVEmail inbox.

Finally, Botten (a bot-aspirant name if I've ever seen one) challenged one of our Agents to a duel. Predictably, Botten lost. But the story didn't end there.

According to Agent Lord Mandelor, the brony angst displayed in various MinerBumping posts drew the attention of a highsec outfit called Miner Intimidation. They launched a bold offensive against the bronies, inflicting nearly 700 million isk of damage.

A typical kill from the war: Botten Miromme lost a stealth bomber--a blaster-fit stealth bomber.

A few days after the bronies lost their war, Lord Mandelor was notified that a random war had been declared against his own corp, the Tengoo Uninstallation Service.

Mandelor and the rest of his corp flew into battle. They came across some war targets in Kor-Azor Prime and destroyed them.

Suddenly, Lord Mandelor realized that one of the war targets--flying a 330 million isk Hyperion--was none other than Botten Miromme. He had left the brony corp and joined the Game 0f Tears alliance just prior to the wardec. Maybe the wardec wasn't so random after all?

A few minutes after the glorious battle, Agent Father Julius received a convo request from Botten. Despite the active wardec, Botten expressed puzzlement at being shot at.

Botten claimed that there was an agreement in effect such that the New Order's Agents would not bother Botten or his fellow bronies any more. He was referring to the duel I mentioned earlier--the duel that Botten lost. Apparently he thought he was still entitled to the "winner" condition, despite triggering the "loser" condition.

Dissatisfied, Botten took his leave. But a mystery remained. Was it a coincidence that he joined an alliance that wardecced his old corp's arch-nemesis (after he lost his own poorly-fit Nemesis)? But if Botten was somehow responsible for the wardec, why was he so surprised that he came under attack during the war? Lord Mandelor was determined to get some answers, straight from the horse's mouth.

To be continued...


  1. Not a horse.

    Not a Miner.

    Can't Cry. No need to. Not an aspirin, nor a medication of any kind.

    What happens when the Cake figures you out?

    Do you understand yet?

    Who is this even directed at?

    A HA! i know, the first unworthy Cake Monger that posts. They will make it as such.

    Please dont suffer. Just lie there quietly.

    Transend everything. Tear it all away.

    Two people. Sitting in a chair, Staring at a screen. Wondering what's going on.

    I can tell you!

    I can tell you my friend. And it isn't cake.

    Its Causality. You've taken your slice.

    "The altered Perception of A pineapple"

    1. I thought the weed I got was good....

  2. I agree with Anom, Where do you get your herb?

  3. Oh wow the saga of Mandelor vs the bronies just keeps escalating. When will the new order save the day?!

    1. Ha! Awesome. I love new oxymorons. "New Order save the day."

    2. This Branden guy is turning in the next Bobbins...obsessed by Miner Bumping and commenting every single post without actually having anything to say.

    3. These "Anonymous" posters are starting to look like mindless drones.

      Before you know it, every message will be "We are the Borg. Resistance is Futile. We will add your technological and biological likeness to our own." <--Hint: You're stealing everyone's brains. ;)

    4. Yet have nothing to say about the topic.

    5. I Get my "Herb" from Ice Fields.

      See.. This cake, is just not something you should trifle with.

      ya get it? Trifle? .. cause i talk about dessert? ( I trust The spelling on Trifle is correct.. even though really I know you can understand what im saying regardless of spelling you just like to point of errors because its easier than actually attacking head on. poke poke poke with the mighty pen, am I right... oh.... so silly. )

      OH right... staying on topic.

      Ha ha paying customer, cake.. blah blah, ponies.. etc..

      This ship is worth this much! oh man its all 1's and 0's.. how sad it is. You lost something virtual. You took away something that didn't Even exist. ( Now who puts more value on that idea, the person losing ,or the person creating the loss?)

      Am I Digressing again!?

      Cringe. Highlight the good. Ignore the bad. Revel in misery.

      Blah blah, Brandon is Bobbins, Bobbins, is Anonymous, Anonymous is, well, Pathetic, because its just a drop down menu, and a couple of mouse clicks to put a real name, even if its *GASP* Just a letter!

      Who does that anyway.

      Oh wait sorry now im crying again. Can i get a Tissue?

      no... ?



      Picture this. Very shortly, someone is going to find error in everything above, and try to pin the tail on the Donkey, All Because they dont, like, cake.

      Shut-UP ralph!

    6. Oh crap, there's an article here?

      I thought this was the message board for glorified New Order circle jerks. :D

    7. Circle Jerk PoliceJuly 30, 2013 at 6:39 AM

      "I thought this was the message board for glorified New Order circle jerks. "

      I knew there was a reason you were over here. Get back to where you belong.

    8. Don't eat the white snowJuly 30, 2013 at 6:44 AM

      Don't get me wrong, Branden Jensen is a great man to have on your right in a circle-J, (not so great on your left, it's not his fault as everyone's born into a particular shape, eh?); but as an EVE-pilot, he's really quite a great man to have your right in a circle-J--if you get my drift.

    9. Branden Jensen, the new star of Miner Bumping butthurt commenting! I suddenly miss Bobbins.


    10. The Twilight ZoneJuly 30, 2013 at 7:38 PM

      Z, have you considered that Bobbins disappeared around the time that Branden Jensen started posting???

      *scary music*

    11. Hahaha this is Keanu Reeves conspiracy meme material!

    12. White snow, you are a lying sack of shit! I'm absolutely better on the left!

      Bobbins, eh? Are you going to start saying "my precious" and "must kill the hobbit's's"?

  4. The New Order needs a Machinima.

    Please, I'll even donate to get this Mona Lisa done!

  5. It seems like Lord Mandelor and Father Julius just can't escape those guys

  6. Damn, I was the person who gave the order to wardec CMCMC in Miner Intimidation, nice to see that we're on here. Even though we got humiliated by that merc group they hired.
    -McCope McCopenhagen

    1. You guys got an = { ELITE } = bomber kill though

    2. I don't get the Miner Intimidation part of the post. Miner Intimidation didn't inflict 700m of damage on Cutie, Game 0F Tears inflicted it on Miner Intimidation. When your CEO is a loon and your secret weapon is Capt Lynch, you have a bad plan.

  7. This is intriguing! One of the best things about EVE is that the spontaneous dynamics it triggers between players can easily get as interesting as real world stories.

  8. Hmmm. I wonder if it was just a coincidence. I love mysteries!



  10. The Cutie Mark Coalition actually won that war. The nemesis was their only loss.

    I'm not condoning rebels but we need to at least get the facts straight.

    1. If i got it right they hired mercenaries, so they didn't exactly win the war, they payed someone to win it for them.

    2. lists CMCMC's kills for July at 1 and losses at 10. Looks like mercs did all the killing for the bronies, which is fine, but don't act like your corp fought well.

  11. In fact, right about after he lost his nemesis was when Botten joined Game of Tears. And right about when he joined was when GoT signed up as an ally for the Cutie Mark Corp, and secured 700m worth of kills.


  12. Well, that escalated quickly. lol

    Off-topic spiel: I am alive! Haven't posted in a while because of school taking precedence, and then was writing fictions, and now it's because of a new game I'm helping out with, called Thrive (, look for posts of Immortal_Dragon.

    ---Alistair Drake

    Friendly Neighborhood Scoundrel

