Do you have the Right Support?

February 5, 2018

Are they Competent Counsel or an excellent Confidante?

Have you ever felt like you didn’t have very many options to solving a problem? And even after you talked it out with a friend, you really weren’t any better off? Sometimes you need to look at how you are trying to solve the problem and who you involve to help figure things out.  

You want to seek advice not just from someone you trust, but a person whose information is also useful.  


Think about who you always run to for advice and ask yourself these few questions:

1)Do you leave feeling better or worse?

2) Do you feel like you have a plan to fix the problem or does it become more complicated?

3) Why did you pick that person for counsel in the first place?


Why does it matter?

Having a sole source of support can definitely save time and effort, but it might drain your own energies and that of your supports.  However, it also can put a strain the closest relationships. For instance. if your confidante is a relative, too much togetherness isn’t always helpful and the same goes for sharing all of your problems.  Even family members need to take a break from each other and realize they don’t want to hear everything and figure things out for everyone.


Consider these scenarios. If you are going to the same person for all your problems because they are conveniently close, they may be limited  in advice and biased.  If you have that friend that has a good listening ear, they may not be invested to direct you objectively. In both examples they may be great for hearing your perspective but that doesn’t make them the best for giving you sound advice.  We call people you can count on to listen and support your position, confidantes. 


You want to look for good counsel  to provide you a foundation  of objective advice for a solution.  Make sure they can give you helpful guidance not just regurgitated or parroted information.  The truth is,  sometimes, we need to have different people to turn to for help in the different areas in our lives, because no one person can meet all our needs.



What are the benefits to having multiple sources of support?


The benefit of having a healthy diverse support system allows you to leave specific stress in certain places. For example: If work is the issue, find someone who can relate to the problem, but leave it at work. Talk it out. Decompress in the car on the way home, so you can leave it and not take it into your home life.  On the other hand, if family is driving you nuts, discuss the issues with your personal support system and do your best to resolve before midnight. This way you can get a good night’s rest before starting a new day.


No matter what the issue is, make sure you solve it. And remember to Relax, Release, Refuel.


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