Tag: Christian girl


What do guys really want?





But God doesn’t want that for you.
He has so, so much more in store for you.



1.) Loves the Lord


2.) Trustworthy


3.) Fun & Adventurous

DO NOT wait to find a guy to start your life.

4.) Likable by Others


5.) Accepts Me For Who I Am



Okay, so… let’s be honest here.



Pursue the Lord and create an authentic relationship with Him.


Create a life you love by pursuing your dreams & passions.





<3, Britt

The Secret to Discovering Your Purpose


  1. The color purple (it’s everywhere, seriously).



I just don’t know what my purpose is.















4 Ways to Find Your Purpose:

1.)  Don’t Stay Sitting




2.) Surround Yourself With Community



3.) Find a Ministry Opportunity




4.) Eliminate Distractions and Persevere







Stop searching for your purpose.

Know your purpose.

Now, pursue it.

<3, Britt

To the Girl Who Feels Inadequate

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt inadequate.


I mean really, haven’t we all:

Felt inadequate in our relationships.

Felt inadequate at our job.

Felt inadequate in school.

Felt inadequate in ministry.

Felt inadequate as a person.


Even a thing as small as burning a batch of brownies.



The brownies weren’t just burnt, they were scorched. Yikes.


“I am a terrible employee.”

“I can’t do anything right.”

“I’m just not good at what I do.”

All those ugly thoughts…. from one batch of brownies.



I must be a failure at relationships and undeserving of love.




I must be stupid and incapable of pursuing this degree.



Therefore, I must be inadequate.

See the common theme?




But they can never be you.


Instead, we should say:


I am deserving of love.


I am not the weak link.


I am smart and capable.


I am capable of loving others and leading them to Christ.

Therefore, I am adequate.







Read John 15:1-11 to follow along!









So what does abiding in Christ look like?












So, what is pruning in the context our lives?


When does pruning happen?









You are now prepared to bear fruit.







Abide in Christ, not yourself.





<3, Britt.

Why Codependency is Destroying Your Relationship (& The Healthy Solution!)

I remember when I got my first cell phone. At age thirteen, it was everything I ever wanted… it had a sliding keypad, built-in camera, a bedazzled phone case, and was brand new. After I received it, I wouldn’t let it out of my sight. I would even lay it on the bathroom counter when I showered so I could check my messages the second I got out. I would say I was possessive, obsessive, and borderline dependent on my cell phone.

I think sometimes when we get something that is exactly what we want, it is hard to not become possessive and obsessive over it, even to the point of dependency.

& I think the place where I see this most frequently is in relationships.

My boyfriend and I have had multiple discussions about dependence: being independent, being codependent, having a healthy dependence, and everything in-between.

Dependency in relationships, especially dating relationships, is a tricky topic. There should be some level of dependency in a relationship… after all, the purpose of dating is to determine if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, which involves meshing various aspects of your life together. But how much is too much?

I think a safe place to draw the line is codependence.

Codependence, in essence, is present in a relationship in which there is a psychological reliance of one person on another. This is manifested in a way that makes it so that the codependent person does not allow the other person to have a life outside of the relationship.

Need to be with your boyfriend 24/7? Codependence.

Does your boyfriend feel the need to constantly check up on you when you’re not together? Codependence.

Are you not allowed to hang out with your friends unless your BF says you can (or vice-versa)? Codependence.

I think the problem people have with codependence is this: they have difficulty recognizing it. Just like the new cell phone I got when I was thirteen, we often become enamored by our significant other in a relationship, because ideally, they are exactly what we want. We think that needing to be together is sweet, after all, who doesn’t want to feel needed? However, what we don’t realize is that this enamor can soon lead to possessive and obsessive feelings, which can lead to dependency.

Once codependency is rooted in a relationship, it can cause individuals to lose their sense of self, and create a severe sense of mistrust within the relationship, ultimately leading to destruction.

So if codependence kills relationships, and complete independence is impossible due to the nature of relationships, what is the solution?

Healthy dependence– & here are 4 ways to identify and develop healthy dependence in a relationship!

  1. Wanting to be together (& not needing to be).

    Should you want to be with the person you’re in a relationship with? YES! Should you need to be? No. There’s a difference. Wanting to be together is looking forward to when you get to see each other, spend time together, and tell each other about your day, versus needing to be together, which is a consuming mindset.

  2. Letting the other person have friends.

    This might seem obvious, but it’s important. Letting your boyfriend have their own friends and allowing them to spend time with someone other than you, and having the same freedom, is very important. You should look forward to the time you get to spend with each other, rather than feel obligated. Not allowing your BF (or not being allowed) to have friends outside the relationships is a sign of both mistrust and codependency.

  3. Maintaining your own hobbies, interest, personality, and beliefs.

    When getting into a relationship, don’t sacrifice who you are for a guy. Chances are, the reason they liked you in the first place are for all the things that make you YOU. In addition, don’t get into a relationship with the intention of changing someone. If your partner tries to change who you are, chances are, the relationship is not going to last, or will lead to codependence. 

  4. Trust.

    The foundation to every healthy relationship is trust.  Trusting a person whether you are with or without them allows for a relationship to thrive and grow… 24/7 companionship does not.

“Not needing to need, but choosing to need.”

Overall, the key to having healthy dependence versus codependence in a relationship is wanting to need versus needing to need. Wanting to need is far more powerful than needing to need, because it is dependent on a choice rather than an impulse. 

If you want to need someone, you make a choice every single day to love them and make them a priority in your life. You know they will be there for you, and you will be there for them, but you don’t have to rely on them for fulfillment. Jesus is the only one who can satisfy that need.

If you are living in a codependent relationship today, be brave,  make the choice to have a choice.

3 Questions to Ask When Making a “Grey” Decision

Have you ever been faced with a grey decision?

You know, one of those decisions that isn’t black or white. Day or night. Light or dark. East or west. Sweet or sour. Apple or Android (okay, okay, I’ll stop). I’m gonna believe you get the point.

All that, to say this: How do you make a decision that doesn’t have a right or wrong answer?

The more decisions I am faced with in life, the more I am realizing life is full of grey decisions.

It’s not fun, huh?

Recently, I had one of my decisions questioned. Have you been there before? I immediately went into defense mode, trying to justify why my action wasn’t wrong, and what my reasoning was for making the decision. I’d argue my action wasn’t “wrong,” and still think I had some legitimate reasoning. But after giving it a lot of thought and prayer, I am coming to realize this:

Sometimes, NOT doing the wrong thing does not mean you are doing the RIGHT thing.

When we are following Christ, listening to His voice, and immersing ourselves in His word and work, and we make a choice that is wrong or sinful… we know it. We feel convicted, guilty, and remorseful.

But sometimes, when we make a decision that is not inherently wrong, things become fuzzy, and we start to rely on ourselves.

Suddenly, we minimize God from our decision, and elevate our own understanding. Our own ability to handle a decision. Our own knowledge.

Ultimately, it becomes a pride issue. We know best. And that’s a scary place to be.

I’ve recently realized I can improve my decision making in the midst of grey decisions. Because of this, I’ve come up with THREE questions ask myself about before making grey decisions.


3 Questions to lead to the “RIGHT” Answer:

1.) Does this decision need to be justified?

Chances are, if you need to justify your decision, it’s not the best decision you can make. Unless you are needing to justify your decision against a faulty perspective, your decisions and actions should be able to speak for themselves.

2.) What would someone who looked at this situation with no additional context say?

I think that most people want to believe that their reputation will speak for itself. However, we live in a world full of judgment, pointed fingers, and people trying to find fault in others. It’s easy to ask ourselves “what would my best friend, who knows my character and fundamental beliefs, say about this decision?”
However, those closest to you have context. They know you.
A better question to ask might be “what would a complete stranger, who knows nothing about me, say about this decision?”
If you don’t like the answer to that question, chances are you won’t like the outcome of that decision.

3.) Am I okay with being defined by this choice?

This is really what it all boils down to.
Perception is reality.
What people think about you is what they will believe about you.
And what people believe about you reflects how they treat you.
Although it’s unfair that we live in a shallow world that does not care to scratch the surface to discover people’s intentions, motives, and heart, we must understand this:

Our decisions are a direct reflection of what we value.

So, although making a decision that isn’t “wrong” may not be a sin, does that decision:

  1. Reflect my heart?
  2. Mirror my motivation in life?
  3. Speak to my character?
  4. Provide evidence for my relationship with Christ?

If the answer those questions is YES, then commit to that decision.

It may not be black or white, but it will certainly feel right.

Hopes vs. Hope… Is There a Difference?

This Christmas season, I’ve been thinking a lot about hope.

I hope for a lot of things in just a single day.

I hope to pass my accounting quiz.

I hope to make it to work on time in rush hour traffic.

I hope to help run a successful Wyldlife club every Thursday.

I hope for a lot of long-term things, as well.

I hope to be successful in whatever I choose to pursue.

I hope to have a husband and a family.

I hope to travel through Europe.

I know I hope for a lot of things, and I’m sure you do too. This time of year especially, the world is hoping for something… whether that be good news, a family member to return home, or simply for Christmas itself. We spend a lot of time consumed by waiting, praying, and hoping for things to happen in our lives, and often become disappointed when they don’t happen just the way we plan.

After thinking about hope, I’ve come to this conclusion:

I think that we blur the lines between our HOPES and our HOPE, meaning what we are hoping for, versus who we are hoping in.

So, first things first… what is hope?

The dictionary says that:

1.) hope (n.) “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best”

2.) hope (n.) “a person or thing in which expectations are centered”

Definition 1 depicts hope as a desire, or a want for the best case scenario to occur.

Definition 2 depicts hope as a placement of trust for the outcome of all circumstances in one, single thing.

Both definitions explain hope, yes, but which hope is Biblical, fruitful, and fulfilling?

The Bible says that:

“His [Jesus’s] name will be the HOPE of all the world” (Matt. 12:21)

“And the Scriptures give us HOPE and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled” (Rom. 15:4)

“We who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the HOPE that lies before us. This HOPE is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls” (Heb. 6:18-19).

Hope is not a thing. It’s not a wish, it’s not a magic genie, and it’s not something that should be sought after frivolously.

Hope is person, and that person is Jesus. It is  found when we seek Him, pursue Him, and tether ourselves to His love and goodness.

When we are walking side by side with Jesus, our hopes begin to align with His plan for us.

We realize that many of our personal hopes have become obsolete, and our goals and desires are more closely aligned not with what we thought we once wanted, but with who God created us to be.

I still hope for things (like I listed above) and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. We all hope for things. In fact, the Bible is filled with people who hoped for things.

Abraham and Sarah hoped for a child.

Moses hoped Pharaoh would let his people go.

Ruth hoped for Boaz to be her kinsman redeemer.

David hoped for better, less desolate circumstances.

Mary and Martha hoped Jesus would heal Lazarus.

Paul hoped to be released from prison to continue sharing the Gospel.

Each person on planet earth has hopes and dreams and things they want out of life. But very few people have hope placed in something beyond these goals.

The difference between HOPES and HOPE is this: Our HOPES become possible when our HOPE is in Jesus.

The stories we read in the Bible are about REAL people who had real hopes and dreams, not much different from us. Even though some took time and unlikely circumstances, their hopes became reality because they placed their hope in Christ, and not the things they were hoping for. When the things we hope for align with the One who our hope is in, incredible things begin to happen. Eyes are opened, miracles occur, and lives are changed.

I know that this Christmas season, you are hoping for something, and I want to assure you that that’s okay. But maybe it’s time to shift your focus from what your hoping for, to Who your hoping in. Perhaps your hope will be affirmed, or maybe your focus will be re-directed and your heart will be fulfilled once again.

But one thing is for certain…

True HOPE in Jesus will never leave us dry or unsatisfied, because God can be trusted to keep His promises.

He is good.

<3, Britt

Reasons Why Listening is Powerful

Just a week ago, I talked to my middle school kids at Wyldlife club about the story of the bleeding woman found in Mark 5. I quickly found that condensing this story into a five minute message would be a challenge, and this that this Biblical account is rich, powerful, and worth re-visiting and looking at in depth.

The main theme of the story is simple but powerful: Jesus wants to listen to you.

The Biblical account begins with Jesus disembarking a boat after a long journey, when he is approached by a synagogue ruler, Jairus. Jairus frantically begs Jesus to come with him, requesting him to heal his daughter, who had fallen ill and was nearing the point of death. Jesus obliged and followed Jairus through town.

However, on his way, Jesus was engulfed by a large crowd. In the crowd was a woman who had been bleeding out for twelve years. She had spent nearly all she had paying doctors to fix her condition, but she had only progressively gotten worse. This woman was living in pain, in shame, and in poverty, and was in desperate need of a miracle.

It was the woman’s first instinct to reach out to touch Jesus’ cloak to be healed… of course it was. But little did she expect the response she actually received.

“And Jesus, perceiving in himself that power had gone out from him, immediately turned about in the crowd and said, ‘Who touched my garments?’ And his disciples said to him, ‘You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you said, ‘Who touched me?’ And he looked around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth. And he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.'” (Mark 5:30-34)

In the process of Jesus’ encounter with this woman, Jairus’ daughter died. Although we later see Jesus raise the daughter to life, the fact that she died is crucial in understanding the weight of this story.

This story teaches us two incredible truths about Christ’s character:

1. Jesus stops to listen to us. 

Jesus was in the middle of completing something incredibly important, but in the midst of his busy day, he stopped for a sickly, poor woman who was healed instantly upon touching his cloak. He did not have to stop for the woman, she would have been healed either way, but he stopped because he wanted to. Which leads me to my next point:

2. Jesus makes the “unimportant” people known.

For Jesus to stop for anyone, let alone an unclean woman who was likely looked down upon in her town, was societally unacceptable. In the Bible, we see Jesus stop for the outcasts time and time again. Jesus cared little about what was societal praised or accepted, but instead, focused on loving people. In this instance, Jesus completely postponed curing the synagogue ruler’s daughter, even to the point of her death, to tell the bleeding woman her faith healed her, and to go in peace. These words and this interaction with Jesus undoubtedly changed the woman’s life forever. Not only was she physically healed, she was spiritually affirmed.

So how does this affect us?

Truths about Jesus’ character should affect us both in our relationship with Christ and our relationship with others. This means that:

We should realize that we worship a God who is personal and listening to us.

Even if we feel like our problems are trivial or unimportant, or that other people have “bigger problems,” Jesus is equally invested in our lives and is listening to each of us. We can go to Jesus with all our problems, and know that he is listening and genuinely involved in the trajectory of our lives. He is accessible 100% of the time, and he has our best interest in mind.

We should be treating others with the same genuine interest and respect that Jesus showed to the bleeding woman.

We, much like Jesus, live busy lives filled with checklists of places to be and important things to complete. I would beg to differ that Jesus was even MORE busy that us, since he was a celebrity of his day and was in incredibly high demand by all those around him, not to forget to mention he was also God in the flesh. Despite all that, Jesus stopped. Jesus stopped to make someone feel important.

Why aren’t we doing what Jesus did? Why aren’t we stopping our busy days to listen to a friend struggling with something, visiting a family member who we haven’t seen in awhile, buying a meal for the homeless person on the street corner, or even smiling at a stranger who seems to be having a bad day?

Why aren’t we stopping our days to show people their value?

We certainly aren’t Jesus, and we can’t physically or spiritually heal someone with our presence. But what we can do is this: listen & provide hope. Listen to people’s needs, their dreams, their hurts, and their stories. Then be that consistent voice of encouragement in their lives.

I think if we all stopped for a moment and lived like this, we would be surprised at how unimportant our busyness is, and realize how much value is found in simply stopping and listening.

When Battling the Uncontrollable

We’ve all been there… the moment when we receive news that shakes us to the very core.

A diagnosis.

A divorce.

A lost job.

A break-up.

A death.

All of these circumstances differ, but seem to contain a common theme: they are all unexpected, and we have very little control over their outcome. Over the past few months, I have been challenged by circumstances that I did not prepare for and definitely did not see coming. They were situations I had little control over, but seemed to be directly affected by. In these situations, God has challenged me by teaching me what it means to surrender.

Here’s the truth: I am a fixer. I like to fix things, especially people. I don’t like watching people hurt, watching people struggle, or watching relationships crumble. I will do anything I can to fix situations in order to keep the peace between people. However, this summer, I learned that it is extremely difficult to fix relationships that are not yours, and it is impossible to change people with absolutely no desire to change.

Watching relationships crumble is heartbreaking, especially when the people involved mean the world to you. It is hard to stand by, watching hearts break and lives fall apart, and being able to do nothing. In fact, the concept completely goes against my savior complex. If I can’t help you or do anything to fix the situation, I feel like I’ve failed.

In this, God has been teaching me surrender. Immediately after my life seemed to be falling apart, I read the following in Jesus Calling:

“You will never be in control of your life circumstances, but you can relax and trust in My control. Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know me in greater depth and breadth. I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to old ways. I am always doing something new within my beloved ones. Be on the lookout for all I have prepared for you.”

After reading this and dwelling on it for a long time, I have come to this realization:

Sometimes circumstances have to fall apart in order for your life to fall together.

This is where the concept of surrendering comes in. Sometimes, we have to surrender our circumstances to God to allow Him to create beauty from our brokenness. We have to be okay with knowing we cannot fix things. Some things are not meant to be fixed, because God is transforming the old into something new.

When we cling to old ways, trying to adjust them to become compatible with our new lifestyle, we are not trusting God.

We have to have hard things happen to shape us and prepare us for what God is doing in our hearts. Having a relationship with Jesus is equivalent to going on an adventure, one that is unpredictable, exciting, and full of purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11 promises us that “I know the plans I have for you’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jesus loves you, and He wants you to prosper.

When we surrender ourselves: our plans, our pride, and our perception of perfect, we are able to best perceive our purpose.

Don’t try to fight everyone’s battles, including your own. Instead, hand the sword to Jesus, and stand behind His shield in perfect surrender.

<3, Bri