Confessions of a Delhi girl who dated a married man from her office



"When someone is in love, things aren't black and white"

She knew she was in the wrong. She knew it wasn't going to end well. And she knew she shouldn't have been doing it.

But she was a woman in love, and at that time, nothing else mattered.

Confessions of a Delhi girl who dated a married man

"I was always a conventional person, and all my life choices for on the same lines. If you'd asked me if I would ever be open to dating someone already married, I'd have laughed if off. Forget actually doing it, I couldn't even imagine such a situation. Life, however, had other plans."

How it all started

"I first met him at a work event. He worked in the same organisation, but in a different city. At the company's annual conference when we were first introduced to each other, I felt an initial attraction. But I didn't think about it - he lived in another city and a long distance relationship isn't something I've ever felt strongly about."

"A few months later, I saw him again. He was in the office one morning when I walked into work, and I remember feeling extremely excited. Before I had even opened my laptop, he was at my desk. It was then that I first felt that he too was attracted to me."

"As luck would have it, he was in Delhi for a special project, and was going to be in my office for 3 weeks. I immediately knew that something would happen - there was way too much attraction between us for nothing to happen in those 3 weeks."

"We'd have coffee together in office, and dinners post work. We decided to go for a road trip to Agra over the weekend, and that's where we first had sex. Before we knew it, we were dating and had fallen in love."

"My life was suddenly full of joy. I had the perfect job, the most incredible new boyfriend, and everything seemed blissful. Yes, I knew that he would be leaving Delhi soon, but I was convinced we could pull off a long distance relationship as well."

"And then the bubble burst. A few days before he was scheduled to fly out of Delhi, he told me the biggest secret he'd kept from me all along. He'd been married for 2 years, and he wasn't happy in his marriage."

From dating to cheating

"I was shocked, devastated, and felt completely cheated. How could he not tell me such a big thing - I would have never started anything had I known about his wife. The fact that he was married drove me crazy, and I ended everything right there and then."

"His project got over, and he left Delhi. I put in all my focus on work, trying hard to forget all the wonderful moments we shared. A few days later, he called me. In the middle of the night, and completely drunk, of course. I didn't want to speak to him but I hearing his voice did have an intoxicating effect on me."

"He told me why he hadn't mentioned his marital status - he didn't think I would be interested in getting to know him if I knew he was married. I have to admit that was the truth. Which girl would've given him a shot knowing he had a wife, right?"

"Honestly, I didn't want to take him back. He was married, and no matter how unhappy he may have been, he still was another woman's husband. And I was the other woman. Yet, I decided to give our relationship another chance. He told me he was going to leave his wife, and I believed him."

"I know it's tough for anyone to sympathise with me. There are countless examples of men lying about leaving their wives, and never actually doing it. I was extremely skeptical too. But my love for him was way too strong, and I couldn't stop myself."

"It's okay with no one understands me. You're free to judge me. But when someone is in love, things aren't black and white anymore."

An affair to remember

"He'd lie to his wife about work trips and visit me in Delhi. We'd do all the things couples do - go for dinners, movies etc, and take weekend getaways. Since he wasn't staying in Delhi, every time he'd visit, it was special."

"I'd always ask him when he would leave his wife. I loved him, and I didn't want to be the other woman. I didn't want our relationship to be hidden. I hadn't introduced him to my friends or family and that bothered me a lot. And every time I'd ask him, he'd make some excuse."

"I would always think about leaving him. I'd give myself, and him, deadlines - if he didn't tell his wife about us by a specific date, I'd end it. He never made it to those deadlines, and yet, I never ended things with him."

"I was way too happy to leave him. I couldn't let my future ruin my present. Which is why I decided to stop worrying about his marriage, and enjoy what we had. All those motivational quotes about living in the moment? I finally decided to do just that."

How it all ended

"Believe it or not, things went on the same way for a full year. We'd meet every time he came to Delhi, and he did that quite a lot. When he wasn't around, I'd be busy working. It was great the way it was - I'd almost forgotten that I was in an extra marital relationship, you know?"

"However, after some time, I started feeling a void in my life. He wasn't around all the time. Everything was about when he'd visit Delhi again. If I called him when he was with his wife, he'd never answer. As a result, a lot of the times I needed him, he just wasn't there."

"Around the same time, I met someone else. This person was a good guy, lived in Delhi and extremely interested in me. Most importantly, he wasn't married. I started dating him on the side - if he could have a wife, why couldn't I have another boyfriend without telling him?"

"In another couple of months, I knew what I wanted. I'd started liking this Delhi guy, and my (extra-marital) relationship wasn't engaging me anymore. I dumped the married guy, and decided to straighten up my life."

Where it all stands now

"I'm single right now, and going on dates using Tinder. I hope to find true love and settle down. Let's see how it pans out."

"I'm clearly not as conventional as I thought, and that's the one thing I'm glad to have settled."

*The narrator works as a marketing professional in Delhi and chose not to reveal her identity.*


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