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By Emily Chambers | Last Week Tonight | March 19, 2018 |



To what extent has Donald Trump just been wildly uniformed in all of his business dealings for the majority of his life? I mean, the answer seems to be “almost entirely,” but it only occurred to me after Friday’s bloodbath that this might be the first time in Trump’s life that he had to make sure people were doing what he asked them to. In other words, it’s not just that he wasn’t accountable to anyone, it’s that no one was accountable to him. It seems entirely plausible that Trump used to just shout insane things at his employees, and someone would make sure to “take care of that.” Like back in the day, Trump would get pissed off at some executive, and demand he be fired without his pension. And someone else would be all, “Oh yeah, for sure. Gary’s getting thrown out on his ass with nothing. I’m on it.” And then they secretly had a retirement party for Gary with his pension and his gold watch, and Trump never knew shit. Then again, these must be the same assholes who refused to pay contractors, so maybe Gary was fucked.

I bring all of this up because it seems vaguely reasonable that Trump is physically unable to take any degree of responsibility for any of the things he’s said or done. That’s what happens when you mix an insane amount of personal wealth, power and privilege.

Mike Pence on the other hand?

Oh, Mike Pence is a liar.

And for decades it was rude to call a rich, White, Christian man a liar. So even though Pence talked all kinds of bullshit about how gays and women in the military and unwed mothers (but never unwed fathers) were ruining America, no one could say shit. Because he was a “good” man.

But Pence and all of the other Christian Conservatives fucked up. Because in addition to realizing that dehumanizing people is wrong, even when it’s done in the name of Jesus, we also realized that most Conservative Christians don’t give a fuck about doing what Jesus taught. They care about implementing a religious code based on their bastardized interpretation of what someone told them Jesus taught. And they’re willing to go on national TV and lie to everyone in order to get that. So Pence can sadly shake his head about my sex life and all of the swearing and heathenness, but everyone still knows he’s a liar.

And it feels great to finally be able to say so.
