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What Is a Little Black Book?


In modern days, we attribute our overabundance of dating options to social media, dating apps, and the ease in which we can communicate with each other in multiple forums. It seems as though there are new people to meet and new potential dates with every step we take or double tap we make on our phones. We excuse treating each other as disposable and dating multiple people simultaneously to our fast-paced, game-playing culture.

We all think that this dating behavior is new. However, we beg to differ. Come on, guys — our generation really isn't all that creative. There have been an overabundance of options in the dating world for years!

Might we remind you of a little thing from WAY back in the prehistoric pre-cell phone days: the "little black book." The idea behind the little black book is still here today, except instead of listing names and landlines in a small book hidden somewhere in our bedrooms, the contents of our little black books are on our Instagram, Snapchat, or iPhone contacts.


It might look a little different in today's world, but the concept is still the same. As shady as it sounds, and as much as we don't want to admit it, we ALL have some people who would populate our little black books if we were to still have the real deal. Thinking of it now, you probably know a few instances in which your name is listed in someone's black book.

Who are these people? We might refer to them to our friends as the people we're keeping on the "back burner." They might be people we like to flirt with a little bit, just for the attention and confidence boost from time to time. They might even be people we've only met once or twice but just had a really great or weird connection to. Regardless of who exactly they are, they mean the same thing to all of us. They are options to fill a relationship or attention void and nothing more. How many people went from being a black book name to an established boyfriend or girlfriend? We don't think many . . .

So since we've determined that the black book mentality is very much still alive and the contents are primarily the same, when exactly in our modern times do we bust out our little black books?

When you're fresh off a breakup.

Nothing on earth is scarier or more daunting post-breakup than thinking of braving the dating scene yet again. THANK GOD you've kept your options at bay throughout your relationship. One call, text, or message should be all you need to strike up a good flirt session and maybe even a date.

After getting turned down by someone you had a crush on.

Finally muster up the courage to go up and talk to that one person at the bar only to get harshly turned down? Message your ex that you still care about and get ignored? In comes the instant gratification of ANY of your black book options. They're in there for a reason, and now is as good a time as any to use that number.

When you need a last-minute date.

There is no better option than someone who you already talk to semiregularly and have a shared flirtation with. Further, you don't feel weird asking them because they've been on your radar for God knows how long. With the guarantee of a fun and not awkward night, you feel no shame calling up anyone from your little black book.

Sunday nights.

Need we say more? Sunday nights have the potential to be the loneliest nights of them all; add in the "Sunday scaries" and you're in for a long night. Texting, talking, and flirting with someone familiar is just the cure!

The vulnerable times you feel like you might never get married or be in a relationship ever again.

No matter what sparked this downward spiral in your mind of having ZERO options and resignation to being alone forever, you suddenly remember that you actually DO have options. Options you've explored before. Nothing can pull you out of this emotional tailspin than a good old little black book option coming back on the scene to save you.

The classics never die, and even though we no longer physically own black books with names and numbers, we can sure be glad that this classic dating concept hasn't died either. Could this be one of the few constant things remaining in our dating lives?

Image Source: Everett Collection
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