Phone calls

Why is it so hard to pick up the phone? What is it that scares me?

I would rather text or e-mail even my own father. Why is that?

Somehow hearing his voice and having to share mine is just too hard. His might sound different. I won’t be able to keep mine from wavering. There will be awkward pauses and scrambling for things to say that mean anything compared to what we both know is happening: you are dying and I am losing my mind.

Perhaps some things are better left unsaid. 

I will just keep sending you pictures of the grandbabies you haven’t been able to meet yet and you will keep writing how cute they are and what a good mom I am.

We will continue to love each other mostly in silence, as we always have. Because we are quiet people, even in love.

5 thoughts on “Phone calls

  1. I’m the same. It’s still valid and deep communication.

    P.S. Holler if you ever want to chat. I know we are very different people than back in the day and may have nothing in common, or a , but either way fond thoughts and the best of wishes. I love a brave writer and that you are.


    Liked by 1 person

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