22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist

The stages of relationship between an empath and a narcissist

1   The empath gets attracted to a narcissist. Their relationship starts. Empath loves deeply and unconditionally. They feel emotionally fulfilled even though the narcissist plays no role to develop a stronger bond. The empath feels satisfied and thinks their love is reciprocated just by being around the narcissist.


2   The empath gets the false notion that they have finally met the kind of love that people don’t find even once. Narcissist affirms this by creating an illusion that leads the empath to believe that what they have is special. The empath feels a deep bond that is almost impossible to break free.


3   Sometimes it appears that the narcissist wants this relationship as much as the empath. Actually, what they want is someone who invests their time, energy and love and is in their complete control.


 4   As the time will pass, the narcissist will make the empath feel weak, unconfident, and bereft of the abilities to do even the simple things. The narcissist will never launch an open attack, but use statements like “don’t want to hurt you but…” to point out some shortcoming. They will try to take over anything which symbolizes control such as handling bills or making decisions about purchases. The empathy will be looked down upon for their interests and many such things that form their identity. Gradually, the empath starts to believe that they are less capable and they “need” someone like the person in their life. They get the notion no one would want them.


5   For an empath, this relationship will be everything as they are the ones who are in love. Out of love, they would always want to soothe and cheer the narcissist, talk to them, help them and do whatever it makes them feel good. The narcissists project themselves as the victim of their past, their relationships, and the circumstances. The empaths are givers; they try to make up for all the unfortunate things that have ever happened to the narcissist.


6  The empath has a good and a clear heart and cannot imagine the deep and unresolved wounds of the narcissist are not the same as their own. Healing those wounds is different from their own.


7  The relationship is all about the narcissist. The empath realizes this slowly, and a time comes when they feel afraid to talk or fight for their needs and desires. In their attempt to please they don’t want to voice their true needs. They would rather be likable than give any reason to be disliked. But, secretly they are not too happy.

8  The more devotion, love, care, affection, and effort the empath puts into the relationship, the narcissist feels completely in control over the relationship. The empath literally dances to the tune of the narcissist. As long as the empath continues to appease the narcissist, it’s impossible to detect any problem in the relationship. The problem occurs when the empath finally reaches the breaking point.


9  Finally, the empath raises a voice because they can no longer keep up with the suppressing ways of the narcissist. Day after day their emotional needs remain unfulfilled. This happens because from the beginning of the relationship they have believed their partner’s emotional needs are all that matters. When they finally understand their well-being also matters, and speak out, they seem selfish. The narcissist does not like it.


10   The narcissist is an attention seeker. They get satisfaction when people fuss around them. Their needs can never be met, they can never be satisfied. They may move to other partners, open a new business, travel around the world, get involved in new creative pursuits, and so on and so forth, but they will never be happy. The empath isn’t aware of this fact.


11   When the empath finally bursts out something like “My feelings also matter,” the narcissist is quick to call the empath “crazy”. They call them over-dramatic and their concerns unfounded. This kind of dismissive behavior is the tactics used by them to gain control over the empath’s mind.


12  The empath gets confused. Why they have meted out such behavior, is beyond their understanding. They start blaming themselves and wonder if they are at all worthy of being loved by anyone at all.

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  1. Narcissists are everywhere, female, male and from every culture. In a sense, everyone is a bit of a narcissist but it’s the deep narcissist you need to watch out for. I was married to a deep narcissist for 20 years and never knew the extent until I read this article. She has found her new victim and I am finally happy now without that in my life. If you are in a relationship with a deep narcissist the only way to survive is to end it. There is no cure, I found out the hard way but it is never too late to live again. Good luck!

  2. Very accurate article .. They are one of the worst types of personalities , and unfortunately America is filled with them . However , + note is without the Narcissist the Empath wouldn’t understand its own self worth and value . They do serve a purpose , but just do NOT let the damage get to deep. They are not mentally stable individuals , who live in alternative realities. This stems from a lack of Self love from the parents or not marrying for love , in which their children become a false extension of themselves.

  3. I have to say, this article is pretty darn accurate. I am so thankful to be out of that horrible relationship and have moved on to a very healthy one. I wish all those who have been through this experience, the time to heal yourself and not to let that happen again. Remember you are worth it!

  4. You guys might want to look into this….


    It’s WAYYYYYY too closely worded to this one. That author is not crediting you guys. Instead, she’s rewording it and calling it her own. It resembles this article too closely.

  5. I am beyond overwhelmed at this moment…I feel so, so, so stupid. I have been married to oh most definitely a narcissist and the Father of Lies for 27&1/2 years now. And yes, I have only recently gained knowledge about Empath’s after meeting one who asked me if I was also an Empath…Wow, I had never imagined…I’ve been made to feel…and therefore felt that I was just plain out crazy. I have only recently been occasionally searching for information and the cruelty I’ve been experiencing from my husband lately is what provoked more interest. When I saw this article I thought “NO WAY!!!” I have actually been advising my husband recently that I believe him to be a Sociopath…hmmm…he truly hates to hear that. I always thought the reason I was so unhappy was because I was super~sensitive…Of course I overlooked his many cheating episodes to save our marriage. I grew up in a broken home and did not want this for our boys.
    I don’t know….something inside me is raging now and I am not willing to take his cruelty one week and telling me I’m his girl and it would kill him to lose me the next week.
    To make matters worse, we lost our oldest son, Timothy, age:22 to a tragic accident in Lehigh County, PA on 7/21/2014 when he and a co-worker were struck and killed by a train….
    I have struggled with addiction problems since my teens and had a long period of sobriety….needless to say that is over and I now am getting ready to enter yet another rehab facility…and of course, I’m the bad guy now….but I continue to advise him that I do not know if I am returning to him when treatment is over and he totally ignores me or tells me to shut up shut up shut up.
    I continue asking myself how could I have given this man 30 years of my life…my youth…when he never gets better as I always assumed (makes an ass out of you and me) he would…ie: I thought that this would be “my” time…a time when I would be loved and finally experience peace in this marriage. I’ve been so naive and I feel so very sick over it….which of course I now realized fueled my former and current addiction~with my son’s death being used as an excuse. I have no idea where to turn now at this point, but I do know that I am going to continue researching…As I’ve read about most Empaths…I’ve certainly had my share of pain so far in my almost 49 years…I mourn my youth and only hope that I make the right decisions for my future. Thank You for Sharing!!!

  6. I hate to say this for the sake I do not wish this pain on anyone but I am so grateful to read in these comments that there are others out there that understand what being in love with the evil narcissist is like. I envy you for having the strength to not answer his accidental call nor return the call. Know matter how much I am aware of what the relationship really is or who he truly is , I end up giving in and eventually answering. Even when I despise who he is. It is like I can’t stand that I can’t fix him or be enough to change him. In my heart , I know it isn’t possible and to be honest I really don’t want a life with him if I could after all he has done to me so why can’t I let go. I don’t get that. Sometimes I think I just wanting the opportunity to hurt him back knowing that not possible either but I’ve tried to look at why from every possible direction.