

Obsidian Eagle's

Blasphemous Bazaar

META-Poems For A New Millennium


The Flagship of Anti-Poetry — est. 2010

It's Festivus For The Rest of Us!

It's Festivus For The Rest of Us!

Strip down that tinsel tree to its bare aluminum pole.

Behold it has a very high strength-to-weight ratio.

Let the Airing of Grievances commence around the table.

Got a lot of problems with you people, and you're gonna hear about it!

Savor some meatloaf served on a bed of lettuce during dinner.

Up next come Feats of Strength; pin the patriarch or we continue.

Festivus YES — Bagels NO — Hey! No bagel, no bagel, no bagel ...

Don't be two-faced about the whole thing. Stand under good lighting.

If you buy nothing this season, it'll be a Festivus miracle!

All proceeds this year will go to the Human Fund: Money For People.

Lexicography 2015

Author's Note: For a more complete listing of this year's Neologisms, please refer to > OXFORD & OXFORD.

Lexicography 2015

A is for autotune, let it lie to your ears.

B gets a bukkake  (if bae doesn't ask, don't tell).

C took a carnap. Wake us up when we're there.

D needs a double-double. We'll take it to go.

E gave up smoking for e-cigarettes. Enough said.

F feels an urge to fap. Not so fleek. *facepalm*

G's gone to the grow-op. Now legal in two states.

H is home to the hyperlocal. A hot mess contained.

I brings forth an internaut; diving down deep web.

J models its jeggings. Nouveau fashion faux pas.

K keeps it kikay, with her makeup and yoga pants.

L ended up lotless. Still got more than Q and X.

M amounts to meh. It's either that or matchy-matchy.

N has been nanosized. A lesser evil if punned.

O may be on-trend  but also going off-grid.

P promotes another pageview by photobombing.

R requires a retweet because ranga lives matter!

S sees to it that sexting comes first fo'shizzle.

T translates to twerking, which twitterati enjoy.

U ought to be aware uber- received prefix status.

V verifies victory for the vape heads, exhaling vog.

W witnesses a webisode on ways to waterboard.

Y says yaaas, it's almost over. Yelp review after.

Z flaunts Zef style since Die Antwoord made it BIG.

~ Now you know speaking decrees ~
~ Next time think before using these ~

Pantheism 101

For further info on this topic, please refer to: 

Pantheism 101

It's not that we believe in everything
Or consider nature to be God.
Rather, we see the value of each belief system
In relation to its respective host.
As for the universe; what more sacred Reality?
Isn't matter itself animated as if by Spiritus?
It matters not whether that's the case.
Philosophers are stuck in semantics.
Poets are ever up to perverse antics.
Scientists inch closer to confirming
That which ancient seers were affirming.
Overthink at your own risk.
This lesson is over, and yes, its pace was brisk!

Image: Pan by John Coulthart.

Playing At Angles

Playing At Angles

The power of the pyramids is epitomized by a triangle.

So come on now daddy-o, don't be such a quadrangle!

This Gordian knot we've tied, no Earthly prince can disentangle.

All the rabbits in this warren are after that carrot ``they`` dangle.

Docile bunnies can`t wrest anything from anyone nor even wrangle.

Those wolves who wear sheepskin are mean enough to always mangle.

Find it in your heart to not reach around their necks then strangle.

Listen instead to soothing dark jazz with a little jingle-jangle.

Ignore these other idiots, distracted by a banner`s spangle.

Though life may hand us limes, one can in any case wangle!

Misanthropic Principles

"I am a misanthrope and yet utterly benevolent, have more than one screw loose yet am a super-idealist who digests philosophy more efficiently than food."  
~ Alfred Nobel

Misanthropic Principles

Like many other manners unbecoming to the mass
Misanthropy is misunderstood as a half glass.

It isn't necessarily driven by fundamental hate
But rather by aversion to what most people imitate.

Fitting in isn't important to curmudgeons, antisocial.
Lambs may play it safe; rams break barriers so crucial.

While everybody else will take the given at face value
Their eyes shall analyze until they find facts to be true.

Nothing novel was ever wrought with complacent hands.
Nowhere new gets explored if you're content in your lands.

Real artists must detach from what the crowd thinks it knows.
Pioneers feel thrust out; dispatched despite any negative noes!

Amisit Musa

"As the Spirit wanes, the Form appears." ~ Charles Bukowski

Amisit Musa

1st Canto

Amused by the Ego
Striving for validation.
Quo vadis?
Self-importance shall follow...

Inspiration grips one rarely;
~ Amisit Musa ~
Trapped within convention
What's the use?

Bemused when the Id
Employs Eros or Thanatos.
Querencia vincit!
Threats of displeasure ring hollow.

Expiration warns one fairly:
~ Amisit Musa ~

Suckered by your Superego
What a ruse!

2nd Canto

Calliope come, bring forth rampaging epics.

Clio's confounded by false history books.

Erato enrapture us in beauty and mercy.

Euterpe entrance us with melodic flutes.

Melpomene mirrors our most tragic moments.

Polymnia's praises are imprinted in hymnals.

Terpsichore traipses around in a tutu.

Thalia thinks this all to be quite droll.

Urania's unaware of anything under asters.

Meanwhile Mnemosyne muses, as only a mother is able.

Radio Is The Enemy

Radio Is The Enemy

Although they may have once served a proper purpose
Presently, radio stations pander to popular tastes.
Singles are given airtime mainly to generate album sales.
Played ad nauseam at regularly timed intervals
An earworm can make its way into anybody's brain.

If music were a fruit, most listeners wouldn't reach the core.
They get stuck mulling over an alluring outer peel.
Not to mention abrasive ads that shout for our attention.
They've got it down pat to a covert science of coercion.
Flashy exteriors matched by nonexistent interiors.

Of course it'll have to do for critically impaired cubicle rats
Who waste their days away like lowliest ants in a colony.
What was good will be repeated indefinitely at all hours
Until it becomes like Beethoven's 9th in a Clockwork Orange.
What is awful shall receive the same treatment; no less!

Meanwhile, entire continents of choral gaiety go undiscovered.
Wonderful frequencies pipe up momentarily before drowning
Within the social milieu brought about via mean mediocrity.
Financial backing makes or breaks sound waves reaching ears.
Even "Indie" gets co-opted as a niche genre to generate profit.

Repeat: Radio Is The Enemy of Good Music!



Noun (tray-full-guhs):

Somewhere between crystal dimensions
There roams a perfect behemoth of a beast.
Its real name is actually more like the sound of
Something heavy being submerged underwater.
And although there are many of them around
They are all essentially the same creature.

Its massive gray body ripples with raw sinew
Scored by black stripes along curves on its length.
It has a handsome face that's either man or woman
Depending on how one looks at it; asexual genotype,
Inorganic phenotype that absorbs decaying dark matter
While baring imposing breasts against storming skies.

Resembling certain Mediterranean bull deities
These gloss the banks of oblivion's river
In a valley where atavist tongues resound for eternity
And childhood is recalled by us passing through.
But make no mistake, though awesome to behold
Tresfulgi are not as noble as we might want to think.

No indeed, it appears rather as if said hulks represent
The dominant features of conqueror cultures
Which divest lesser beings of right livelihood:
Thrusting themselves into the affairs of others
Taking lots to give little except death in return.
May you and yours be spared such happenstance!

Twitter Is Like, Crack.

Twitter Is Like, Crack.

Another sleepless night,
Course failed at school,
Day missed at work.

Casino fruit machines,
Dog and horse racetracks,
Barely compare to the blue bird.

Instant gratification
From a pleasant chime;
Irresistible urge to connect.

It's all or nothing on the line ...
What's trending now?
Who's hashtag tops the polls?

Follow those who reciprocate.
Cut loose the dead weight.
Hurrah for verified accounts!

Cursed be the white whale
Whenever Le Tuit does fail.
Cross your fingers, reload page.

140 characters should suffice to sayeth
Expressing cheap thoughts is all the rage.

While lost in cyberspace don't lose control — keep faith!

Yucky Yuppy

Author's Note: For some context regarding this piece, please refer to this > ARTICLE.

Yucky Yuppy

The age of the Hipster is officially over
Enter the era of the "Yuccie"
(Young Urban Creative)

Coasting off parental payments
Education exceeds intellect
A diploma equals entitlement

Little respect for predecessors
Qualitative labeling for all
Recapitulation due to oversight

Beatnik and Hippy rolled into one
With inauthentic pretentiousness
Even irony gets lost in the shuffle

Every damn dolt is now an artiste
There is perhaps no greater tragedy
Than meaning subverted by money

Anything to make a quick buck
Nothing is sacred that can be sold
The world's an oyster laid barren

Ah hell, take that selfie for Instagram
Watch another rerun of Seinfeld
Getting over oneself is no mere career move!

Image: Portlandia poster for "This is an art project" episode.



Truth tellers recount happenings as accurately as memory serves

Whistleblowers point fingers to prosecute whom justice perturbs

Soothsayers may answer prayers when naysayers are unnerved

Axons conduct neural impulses to dendrites across synaptic nerves

Sensuality conveys more than possible for a writer's condensed blurb

Gather however much you can from what remains here unreserved

This meddling meter wears out its welcome; kicked onto the curb

Yet it's writ in decimal because such structures gleam superb

The town crier relays clear messages through voluble verve

In the end, unjust ones gossip: spitting venom undeserved.

Image: Thrice-Great Hermes, master of mysteries.

Twitch Was Born In The Arcade

Twitch Was Born In The Arcade

Back in the day as they say
You had to stand at a colorful cabinet
Feeding quarters into the machine to play
And if you happened to be any good at it
Lots of people would gather around to watch.

Spectators crowded together during a versus match
Oohing and aahing when contenders clashed
Wowed by audiovisual effect of hits landing
Joysticks spun, buttons were mashed
High scores gave one social standing.

Nowadays those old ways have mutated;
Games are broadcast from the comfort of home
Long-distance buffer zones keep players isolated
Hecklers become blacklisted, n00bs get p0wn3d!
Onlookers flood internet streams by the millions worldwide.

Video gaming is a new spectator sport played inside.
MMORPG addicts and FPS elites are virtual athletes
Impartial systems re-spawn those who've died
Platinum trophies prove what one completes
But among masters who compete, skill decides!

Image: Twitch, see: twitch.tv



There's an ubiquitous windbag
That flaps his flaccid gums constantly
Yet says nothing of any consequence.

He'll slurp clean whatever smear
Stains the moist underbelly
Of outlying nether regions.

Such a butt-munch 
Pulls each punch
Preferring to gurgle lumpy lyonnaise.

Even when sorrowful
He has heehawed

While colossal seesaws
Lumbered noisily
Against a fancy backdrop.

Often faux furry
He's gesticulated sentences
Amidst brackish backwaters.

Fetid phrases have been found
Teeming with crawling truisms
In the oily runoff of his utterances.

Vociferous as he is viscous
The man is deaf to his verbosity;
Which lacks both valor and value!

The Grand Lull

The Grand Lull

At home with exile
Days blur and drag
Laughter evaporates
One's chin does sag


Sadness is a luxury
For us who can't afford it.
Life shows little mercy
Survive, thrive; find a fit.

Show courage when facing despair.
Good humor scalds cunts unfair.
Renovate the house of disrepair.
Flit through their awful fray without a care!

Bravo to you wanderers, far-flung from birth;
Circumambulating around Earth's whole girth.
Devastating denominators common and low.
Knocking out conventions with a single blow.

This chasm of duration in which we find ourselves thrown
Shalt belittle each belief and theorem men have ever known.
Spaciousness spectacular, surpasses human comprehension.
Egoism and Lingua conspire (to place limits on invention).

The written, spoken, and what is thought
Are as if infants were begot
Inside a dormant substratum or plot.
Where hides the admirer of all that is wrought?

Awaken! Sayeth the ascetics.
Forsaken not these heretics.
Spanning this inferior plane
Spirit unseen enhances plain ...


*** Laughter reverberates within Ether at long last ***

Image: #LulZSeC

Found Poetry: Notes To Self At Work

Notes To Self At Work

The trick is to appear to be occupied
no matter how little there is actually to do.
Mind-numbing tasks lend themselves well to auto-pilot
but there are those times when one has to idle
while simultaneously seeming busy ...

Slacking really is harder as some say;
it's what many companies deserve for how little they pay.
The Peter Principle runs rampant, one or another way.

So let's play at work
Let's work at play
Such arts are lost
This age and day

Don't dither-dabble
Nor trail the rabble
Cut cork and cost
Scribble with scrabble

Rude ranting riddle
Brooks down our middle
Pick up a fiddle
It's time to diddle!

Seriously though, true human esprit requires much more than these material means.
Adversity plus dire risk
have often driven us toward fulfillment, success, and victory.

Blood simmers due to circumstance though it was first ignited through passion.
Soul seethes from body biting its own tongue.
A fiery bird would sooner rise ashen.
Only the most lost follow after another's fashion.

Ending Senryu:

An anthill swarming
With manic activity;
Looking glass glistens.

Box factory blues
Methodical madness rules;
Bosses be wanton.

Corporate hive buzz
Until close of business day.
Money makes people!

Decadence Throughout The Decades

Decadence Throughout The Decades


So it must go on indefinitely in retrograde;
each generation admiring the best of what came before
while simultaneously rejecting tacky tradition and rebelling
against any oppressive state of affairs.

Thus we find ourselves reliving similar dramas
or reiterating those same likely stories
as our lamentably predictable predecessors
(at least insofar as hindsight reveals them).
Still we're unsure of how what's coming will differ.

Minute men worn by many years resist its advent:
Hegemony is leading us into the limbo of Homogeny!
Yet even within that oneness of identity conflict will persist,
because it's an inborn trait of mankind's fragmentation.

Upstarts rail at tried and true technique
old timers reminisce over some bygone golden era.
Monomaniacs criticize just to constantly rehash the same devilish details.
Everybody dwells on what formative memories have dictated for them.
Who would even notice the handbasket reaching hell?

Tomorrow's misanthropes already read this as a perennial quintessence!


Stupid Star System

Stupid Star System

Well looky here, see clear young viewers
Haven't you had enough of prequels, sequels, and remakes?
Don't get your hopes up. Every movie makes its own mistakes!

Roughly the same plot but sporting fresh faces;
script updated to zap and pop
(alongside chic product placements).

Another box office record smashed by a summer blockbuster!
Although who actually gives a crap?
If hype had a flavor - it'd be mustard.

Catching on merely by being overwhelming ...
Right now in a galaxy real close by
there's a deficiency in reasoning.

Admit it's just the mythology of technology
that you're addicted to. Which is why
we criticize, yet always attend anew.

Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, Horror, Sci-Fi.
Subgenres spin off from the mother ship
and impress images onto deep social mind's eye!

Image: "The Sacred Moment" scene from Waking Life (2001).



This single man stands for every troubadour who lands sitting on his or her own hands ...

Throughout the long hard lonely years
There's been a drought of healthy tears
Desensitization pervades as youthful vigor fades
However, cynicism and sarcasm abound in spades

Cyclical oral histories further obfuscate mysteries
Yet by far the worst of these escapes abstract bestiaries:
Why does entropy tend to defeat the world's wordy elite?
Signal attenuation atrophies and shorts our circuit's built-in cheat

Gobble up that mouthful with just one breath
Gradation hardly matters unless you score an F
Shrink the package down for global distribution
Since there be no guarantee, expect 0 restitution

The solo hero hands promised lands to those for which he stands may they tame their soul's demands!

- Purport -

Oh; you didn't get it eh¿
'twas intended to be this way
Rather sorry to cause dismay
But the title is in state of play¡

Image: "Synecdoche" courtesy of Beasts of English.

Hipsters Shall Hail This:

Hipsters Shall Hail This:

Come ye! DC or Marvel G33x

Linux nerds and torrent freaks

Steampunks, Cyberpunks, cool hunters all

Indie band junkies (another brick in the wall)

Trend setters are bed wetters 

Compared to this scofflaw

The fatal flaw is to follow

Without acknowledging source code

BETA tests find the unimpressed are quite callow

Trolls ROFL while delivering their corroded payload

#AnonS are embattled by total media control

BTW; nobody rocks as hard as Dave Grohl

In other news, there are those born just yesterday

Who take everything for granted

They must be reprimanded

For seeing only Fifty Shades of Grey

They can't recite classics like Dorian Gray

It won't be long now before they're disenchanted

So glory hogs hop on board an antipoetic bandwagon

Plant your stake first and lay claim to acclaim

Soon our zeitgeist will change look and name

Retrieve sunken keywords such as a lagan

Awaken latent intellect. Spit fire sleeping dragon!

No virtual world nor video game shall remain the same



* Except on Wall of Worthies
whereon rights are retained by respective authors.