


on March 31, 2018

I recently traveled solo back east to visit my brother and some special girl friends (mine, not his). You know, one of those  #friendsandfamily things where seeing your peeps is great but the traveling part sucks.

I started out on a high note by arriving at the Denver airport with no ID. Thank you Costco! It was the ONLY card in my wallet with my picture on it. Costco and a credit card enabled me to proceed to security where my luggage and body were carefully scrutinized by the TSA for contraband. I had a very intimate pat-down in the middle of DIA. I was happy though because I was going to able to board the plane. And since I had fully accepted responsibility for my own stupidity  I remained pleasant and endured the humiliation. Somewhere in the middle of trying to ignore that there were strange hands between my legs doing the Trump thing I realized I was not going to be able to rent a car without my driver’s license. The pat-down apparently sparked something (in my brain, if nowhere else) and I remembered that my license, which I thought I had lost, was in one of those tiny little purses I take to restaurants. Yay! I could have my husband overnight it to me! Unfortunately, I would have to confess my carelessness to him and subsequently endure his jokes about soliciting sex in the airport.



I had a great visit in Charlotte with my brother and his family. Where it was cold and rained. Then I picked up a crappy rental car that Enterprise wanted to get off their lot. I was the perfect customer to pawn it off on because I wasn’t returning and they could charge me extra to dump it in Florida for them. I had 400 or so miles to drive to Ponte Vedra Beach which went OK except for the shit car and the gas station where I wasted half an hour because their system was down. But hey, I was headed for the beach which is always nice even when it’s cold and my #friendsandfamily are worth it. A few days with great friends, cocktails and fantastic fish albeit no beach worthy weather and I was on my way again to my third and final destination.



Chilly and chillin’ at the beach.

Why do I forget from year to year that my traditional time to meet up with my childhood girlfriends coincides with bike week in Daytona? The drive was not bad but the stops were killing me. It took me three service stations to get gas. The first two were swarming with motorcycles, redirected lanes, and a truck delivering the fuel. I couldn’t even get close to a pump. I gave up, returned to I -95 and figured I’d go another 20 or so miles and try again. At the third station there were only a few motorcycles and just one car ahead at each pump. Bingo! I’m a winner! Or so I thought until I found out the guy in front of me had broken down.  Seriously, how does anyone manage to break down right at the pump? At that point I had to pee so bad I just left my car in the line that was going nowhere and headed for the bathroom. Once I was past the point of no return I discovered this lovely restroom had no toilet paper, no soap and  no paper towels. I left in a state of hygiene that was both questionable and damp. Fortunately I was just going to pump gas and was not, like so many others, on my way to a Bike Week prearranged Tinder date.

At last, with a full tank and an empty bladder I returned to the interstate and searched for a radio station. The Sirius radio sticker on the car window was apparently only an advertisement and finding entertainment was challenging. Mostly I found Christian radio stations. I can recognize them right away because all the songs sound alike and the word “praise”, “pray” or “broken” shows up every other line. Eventually I tuned in a Spanish station when I heard a song from Zumba class. I cranked up the volume because it had a couple of lines in English I could sing and I could just make up some Spanish. I was excited to be in the homestretch! And I was looking forward to being in the care (and cars) of my lifelong friends.




 Middle school troublemakers.

3 responses to “#friendsandfamily

  1. Linda says:

    Laughed out loud and …,.,almost peed my pants. Lol

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