Review: ‘COOTIES’ is infectiously delicious.

Cooties poster“Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot, Now you have your cootie shot!” Let’s be real. We’ve all had our cootie shot at some point in elementary school. It was necessary  to survive the playground territory wars and/or avoid a horrible disease ridden classmate. Oh wait, that’s not what it was used for back then. The disease ridden classmate part, I mean. That’s the premise of the new horror-comedy COOTIES. Well, sort of.Cooties_image

Quick run down. Kid eats infected chicken nugget and becomes a cannibalistic zombie, infects other children, trapping a band of misfit teachers inside the school. Cooties‘ cast in kind of unreal. Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson, Alison Pill, Jack McBrayer, Leigh Whannell, Nasim Pedrad, Ian Brennan and Jorgé Garcia. Wood plays Clint, a summer school teacher and aspiring writer of horror (from a fanboy’s influence). Wilson plays testosterone, jockhead gym teacher and I have to say, kinda of a badass. Pill is the ultra upbeat, former classmate of Clint and present 4th grade teacher. Pedrad kills it as the faculty bitch with a cutting sense of humor and lack of filter. Garcia, while we don’t see a whole lot of him, his presence always make me smile. He lights up the screen. McBrayer, plays a “confused” teacher with a gentle heart and a scaredy cat head. Brennan is Vice Principal Simms, a lovable weirdo. Finally, Leigh Whannnell, is what I can only assume is a science teacher, due to his lack of social skills and knowledge of things that you just have to accept as cannon as the plot rolls along. Totally forgiven as it adds to the absurdity of the storyline. Great casting choices… Mayhaps a sequel is in order? Please?Cooties 2nd image

The dialogue is hilarious and I am betting that at least 50%  of some of the best lines were improvised. I am really looking forward to a DVD release already, in hopes that there is a huge outtake reel. The practical effects are downright disgusting, even for a horror fan such as myself. Bravo for grossing me out. Even the opening title sequence shows the actual creation of a nugget from chicken to child’s mouth. It’s pretty vomit inducing, so you’re already set up for what is about to play out. The editing, both in picture and in sound are top notch. This film is wrought with catch phrases that I will admittedly be stealing. Besides all of these factors, Cooties makes some great statements about what we’re feeding our kids in school and at home. But even greater is the comment on parenting, or  lack there of. Once again, as a former teacher, kids these days can be real dicks. Sorry, but it’s true. Cooties calls out what’s wrong with our youth and throws it into our faces while being completely gross and damn funny all at once. If you’re already a fan of films like Shaun of the Dead, then you’ll love this flick. Cooties is hands down laugh out loud funny start to finish. Go see this film, but just a little advice, maybe don’t eat right beforehand.
