Not interested.

What is it to the art of conversation that some people have so naturally?
Why is it so hard to listen?
Because listening is active?
You’re not physical moving per se but you have to tune-in.

He’s a great listener.
I miss those conversations.
The ones that keep you up all night.
The intimate ones that happen in the quiet container of the car.
He’s a great driver.
I miss those car rides.
The ones that happen late at night.
I always felt safe when he was driving a car.
In regards to whatever relationship/friendship/fuckedupship we had,
we were both pretty reckless.

Now I know I was responsible for my own suffering all that time.
By choosing to not
remove him from my life.
By letting him lurk in the periphery
and appear when most (in)convenient.
By leaving the door open.

Well now the door is slammed shut.
Cemented shut.
I fucking burned the house down.
Good riddance.
It was for the best.
Because now I get to build something brand new with someone else.
Because even if he should reappear somehow,
I’m not interested.
Repeat as many times as necessary.

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