

Every single day something he touches starts smoking. You've heard of the Midas Touch; Trump has the Hades Touch. His very being is constructed to strike the flint that shoots a spark towards the tetchy kindling he calls staff.


When a reporter pointed out the discrepancy, Trump dismissed him with, "well, I was given that information." Presumably by the same people who told him he won the debates, enjoys widespread popularity and has accomplished more than any other president at this juncture in his reign.

Anything he doesn't like or disagrees with gets labeled "fake news." Since the election he's jumped on the phrase like an old dog with a new chew toy. Fake news. Fake news. Fake news. He repeats the phrase so much he runs the risk of becoming the Fake News President, although many folks maintain the "news" part is superfluous.

Meanwhile, the biggest fear of a 3 million-majority segment of America is once this guy realizes he's destined to go down as the worst president in history, he might prefer to be remembered as the last president in history.

— Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed columnist and comedian.

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