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Co-worker: "I just don't think white people and black people should marry each other. I'm not racist or anything."

Do you find this attitude abhorrent? Rational? Misguided but not extreme? Has your opinion shifted over the years?

CallMeDave 8 Feb 2

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Ignore this person. Do not give them airspace to justify their racist opinion.



When I see things like this, I fantasize about lining up all the people of the world by color, dark to light, and have one of these morons determine where "black" ends and "white" begins.

Which would accomplish what?

@Bobby9 To show the absurdity of labeling people as a particular race and that no one is pure anything.

@Adlitam Again, what would that accomplish? Racism itself is absurd, so racists would not be impressed.


Totally abhorrent and beyond ignorant. I had a lady who has been a friend for about five years make a similar statement Tuesday after my gig. She will no longer be considered a friend. I am hard core when it comes to racism.

Well said.


me too -racists are ignorant low class white trash.


Dave this 100% racist and utterly ignorant. In UK less than 10% of the population is 100% caucasian. There is far more genetic divergence within races than between them. I am officially the whitest person earth (According to 3 out of 3 fellas) and even I have Asian friends who are paler than me. Skin colour is not an indication of an individual's value.

These types, usually xtion, could be called veiled racists in that until they open their mouths you don't know by their politeness.

@Beowulfsfriend I would still challenge it


I can say that growing up I had members of my family that would say
“ that you can be friends with them, you can live with them and even have sex with them but you simply can not get married to them.”

And the part of that message that really fucked with me was their reasoning. Which was society will never accept y’all and they’ll never accept your children.

This was actually hard for me to understand and accept because my birth mom was 1/8th and we lived in a very racially diverse neighborhood.
Also my cousin married a woman who looked like Mo’nique but three shades darker and I was the one who acted anything but white so our family had to adjust their mentality a bit.

But as I pointed out in another post on here I’m 48 and my grandparents generation was born and raised in a time where racism wasn’t just accepted but expected.

And then their children were born and raised through a period of nonstop war as well as a huge social evolution which split the country and actually resulted in a flip of political party ideologies.

So my generation comes along and we’re being taught to be tolerant but still not embrace those of color. And then the 80’s came and blew that all to hell.
But it also made others become reclusive and dig in deeper.

So now I’m looking at my child’s generation where my wife and myself instilled the belief that everyone was a human so therefore equal.
But with trump we’ve seen those who had gone to ground and raise their heads which has actually forced us all to acknowledge that we aren’t as together as we had hoped for.

Seriously though this isn’t as much of a bad thing as it may feel. Now we know that they’re there and what they believe so let’s challenge the why.

It’s no different than challenging religion you just have to maintain a higher ground and make them say exactly why they believe the way they do and then show them our commonalities and work from there.

Ignorance isn’t from not knowing any better but from the refusal to know and your coworker might not be ignorant but just mislead. So if you wish to you could introduce them to mixed couples and let them see that they worry about bills, their children and the future fate of the world.

But what would truly be the most effective is if we were to stop with the practice of racial identification that was started by slave owners in order to prevent empathy for their slaves by religious and humanist.

Just saying that we’re human when we’re born and a 1,000 years after we’ve died our remains are still considered as being human so why can’t we just accept that while we’re alive?



Your coworker is racist... Does he/she stops at marriage? Can people of different races date? Have kids? Sit at the same table? Live together?

Your coworker is racist!

Totally agree.


We should all just start breeding because it's harder to hate what you cannot identify.

Good grief.

We are all human.


Completely irrational opinion. If they had said they personally prefer to marry their own race, that could possibly be considered a preference(like hair color) rather than racist. But to say the entire races shouldn't marry each other is both racist and ridiculous. I just don't understand why people cares what anyone else is doing if isn't affecting them personally or hurting anyone. But I'm just a peace loving, tree hugger with a touch of go fuck yourself.


I've experienced the same racism in reverse. Some black folks said the same about my ex-girlfriend and I. It's ugly wherever it rears it's head.

Nardi Level 7 Feb 2, 2019

It's the same 'ol racist, elitist, superior-minded attitude that has corrupted our world time and time again. Did you say anything back to this person?

My stock response is to compare it to saying blond people should not marry brunettes. I probably said something similar to him. In some situations though, I'm sure I have said nothing. Of course most people aren't as blunt as he was, at least not aloud. We worked together for years. Otherwise he would not have spoken either, maybe.


Definitely racist....


You mean they didn't follow it up with "some of my best friends are black?" I think it's racist but on the other hand it's also a personal choice for somebody. I decided way back not to do that because I didn't want all the grief it would entail. This person sounds like "you can't mix races" which is bullshit

lerlo Level 8 Feb 2, 2019

he'd say he has black friends too but doesn't think they should marry white women (which to him means pale skin, I think).


Is there really anything to debate here? Isn’t the answer known and obvious?

Hmmm, not so much for me. Can you explain just a bit?


the answer is --- people are people and what other people do and who they associate with and/or love is NONE of our business or concern.

Humans need to stop being so shallow as to judge on "looks" and start judging on ACTIONS instead.

@SkotlandSkye Fair enough!


Pure racist right there.


How is this not racist? I wonder what's going on in some people's heads.

Dietl Level 7 Feb 2, 2019

Perhaps he would like his relitives to resemble him.

@Bobby9 Why do you think they wouldn't resemble their relatives? That is just silly. This beautiful girl is my sister and she looks just like my Mum. The little fella is my nephew and looks and behaves exactly like my youngest son.

@Bobby9 That's racist too but you shifted the goalposts, little nazi. The statement in question was that white people and black people shouldn't marry! It wasn't about a personal (racist) choice. It was about also not wanting OTHER people to marry other races. Can your two brain cells undestand this difference?

@Bobby9 he is a racist.

@Amisja Not silly at all.

@Amisja, @Dietl Try comprehending what you read, note the pronoun "they" not "me' or I. I personally don't care at all.

@Amisja, @Dietl, @sassygirl3869 You are the prejudice reader, as I said above I don't care at all. Pay attention to pronouns.

@Bobby9 Bobby Just stop this now

@Bobby9 You defend and try to downplay clear and real racism. Don't worry, we get the picture 😉

@Amisja Go away surface thinker.

@Bobby9 Actually no I certainly will not go away.

@Amisja Well then hang around and try to learn something.

@Bobby9 As a university lecturer, learning is what I am paid to do.

@Amisja Hopefully your lectures are more correct that your long distance analysis.

@Bobby9 Enough now ok, you are just trying to upset or hurt me. My self esteem does not come from a little grey man on a chat site. Run along

@Amisja Kindly cite ONE thing I said that should be the least bit upsetting. You are truly a strange person

@Bobby9 Calling me strange. Stop it

@Amisja I'll revise that, your comments are strange, I don't know you so I can't say you are strange. You see I don'y leap to conclusins as you have.

@Bobby9 'prejudice reader' 'surface thinker'. I am not engaging anymore. I send you best wishes as I would anyone. Move along

@Amisja AS You said, NO I will not!


That is about as racist as it gets.


It's ignorance! That's the number one reason for racism imo. I've been married to a black man and a white man. Only difference was their upbringing and personalities. Good men, kind, loving, funny and sexy.

People are afraid of what they don't know or what is different from them. That fear leads to hate and it's primarily based on ignorance. Sometimes it's influenced by how they were raised but is perpetuated by not being open and accepting of differences.

I love and embrace diversity. I'm curious and excited to learn about people and their cultures. I guess generally I just like people, not all of course but mostly.

This person is misguided, mislead, he's been told this and believes it, just like religious people believe. If it were me I'd probably try to educate him.


Abhorrent, no. Absurd, yes.
Rational, no.
Misguided, yes.
Has my opinion changed over the years? No. (At 7 I knew that we're all different but the same, the same but different.)


I'm not racism either, I just hate white people. They just bring their drugs, rapist, crime, I'm sure maybe some are good people.


That's a tough one. I can't support that racist opinion, even though I oppose marriage in general.

@JimG Well, marriage isn't for everyone.


I agree with your co-worker; but I don't think anyone should get married. ?

I don't know how your co-worker is justifying this view as "not racist." If he or she thinks some consenting adults shouldn't have or exercise the same rights others do, based solely on the color of their skin, what could that be called if not racist?


Right......not racist, hmmmmm? I find the attitude abhorrent.


This co-worker is a racist but in denial. Racism comes out when it is provoked by fear of the United States demography. Majority of country being non-white scares those with racist tendencies. Trump's caravan threats are just that -instilling fear in the population. His wall appeals only to those racists. I have a college friend I am always arguing with on FB that makes Trump a racist. And it makes my old friend a racist. I was exposed to racism at 5. My next door neighbors were black college professors. They sent my friend Butch to a private school. They were afraid to send him to my school. Things were just changing in the 60s. When my parents decided to get a bigger house in town they had trouble selling their house to a black family. The neighbors fought their efforts and it took them a year and a half to proceed in court. Racism is ugly and painful. I hate racists. If you hate racism check out my Leftists Group-


When ever someone uses a compound sentence with the word “but” as the link between independent clauses, everything that comes before the word “but” is a lie.

Anything after but is bullshit lol


I wonder what his/her reasons are!

I can understand it as a personal choice but not as a principle.

Personal choice makes him a racist.

Most likely, "the way I was raised."

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