Dyed-in-the-wool Whovians (avid fans of BBC’s time travelling drama series Dr Who) are livid today, following a survey which dared to say the unsayable by suggesting that despite it being held in high esteem with luvvies and in media circles, generally not many real people actually watch it, and of those who do most really think it’s shit.

Furthermore the survey goes on to claim that it’s only fear of being seen as uncool that stops the wider public saying what it really thinks. This even though Dr Who is now female.

One typical respondent and Sci-Fi fan, Simon Williams, told us: ‘If I’m being completely honest Dr Who is very much the “Crossroads” of this genre, with its rather stiff, starchy and quintessentially drab British vibe. Not to mention poor production values and shonky special effects looking like they cost about two quid per episode.’

‘Compared to the likes of Westworld it’s really poor. But because of the massive hype surrounding the show it’s become taboo to slag it off, in much the same way it is now if you dare to even think about criticising athletes since the London 2012; especially the Brownlee Brothers, though fuck knows why in their case.’

However Whovian Society Secretary and self-styled Emperor Puntaz of Kayleestia, Jay Cooper, has hit back: ‘These criticisms against Dr Who are nonsense. It is a fabulous programme. It’s actually got amazing production values and fantastic stories. It’s modern day Shakespeare. If I had to choose one word that sums it up perfectly I’d say… “Daleks”.