Friday, January 28, 2011

Television Has Never Been More Stupid

I didn't have cable for ten years. It was like I spent ten years removed from the stupid vacuum that is TV. I now have access to cable and here's what we have now..

* No more sitcoms. It's too expensive to pay actors, so they have replaced every single show on television with "reality TV". There has never been anything further from reality then "reality TV".

* Shows about people making cakes. Someone shoot me in the head please. An hour long show about idiots baking stuff. Granted they have talent, and can make cakes look pretty cool.. But is this possibly show-worthy? and the show couldn't possibly last longer than 8 minutes? Could it? Yes.. it can, as long as you draw out the mind numbing, fake tension created as we pretend to care that the big cake for the wedding not might get made in time. QVC selling used underwear and socks would be more exciting then this.

* Ghost hunting shows.. Oh yes. just take their word for it.. they heard some footsteps down a hallway. And they have a meter where some numbers went up on the dial.. so that proves it. It also proves that you just wasted an hour of your life on blatant stupidity.

* TV Land now plays 24 hours of 3 shows.. Sanford & Son, Married With Children, and Everybody Loves Raymond. Are you kidding me? We have years of history and outstanding television that we all grew up with and loved, and we have to watch 8 episodes in a row of a show that is in syndication on every station in America already?? Are we already too dumb to appreciate The Andy Griffith Show and I Love Lucy? Shame on you America!

* Keeping Up With The Kardashians. This show, and every other "reality" show about rich socialites is a cancerous boil on America that needs to be lanced, and then dumped into the hazardous waste bin along with Sex And The City, Jersey Shore, The Bachelor, and any other show that wastes the brains of our young people with nonsense and profound uselessness.

Learn to swim. See you down in Arizona Bay!

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