• Darla Blake

Come On / Over

Come. Or cum? I’ve never been too sure - until now. It’s amazing what researching in preparation for writing a blog about semen can teach you:

“I defer to the Strunk and White of filth, the Vice style guide. Come is the verb, cum the resulting substance.”

- Maureen O’Connor

So, there we have it. To ‘come’; the final delight of a hopefully also previously delightful encounter. The thing that everything else (rightly or wrongly, but that’s for another blog) builds up to. The moment that allows for the complete disappearance of everything else in the world and replaces it with pure nirvana. However short or long lived it might be.

I’ve been curious for a long time about the difference between the way a man experiences an orgasm, compared to a woman. I suppose nobody will ever truly know, but I get the distinct impression (having had quite a few myself, and been witness to quite a few more) that often, for a woman, it’s a much more internal experience than that of a man. And perhaps a little less localised? Whatever the difference in terms of sensation, there is most often a difference in presentation. Though women can ejaculate, not all (or even many) do, whilst the contractions in the prostate gland and pelvis that men experience during orgasm cause them to release semen, or cum, which is forced out of the penis during ejaculation.

This physical event presents, for perverts everywhere, an opportunity.

The act of ejaculating onto someone - their body, tits, face, for example - has grown in popularity, presumably because of its prevalence in mainstream porn. Though depictions of a facial existed long before film; here’s an example from De Sade’s ‘The 120 days of sodom’, written in 1785:

“I show them my prick, then what do you suppose I do? I squirt the fuck in their face… That's my passion my child, I have no other… and you're about to behold it.”

In modern day porn, the ‘money shot’; the part of the film in which the man comes, often viewed as the climax (literally) of the whole scene, has grown in popularity since the 1970’s. Viewers appeared to want to see this act in the most visible way possible, no longer content to watch a man fucking a woman and coming inside her, simply content in the assumption that he had had an orgasm, despite lack of visual evidence. No - now they wanted to see the product of this part of sex, whether it be via a facial, ejaculating onto the tits or other body parts of the partner; it had to be explicit. This hasn’t really changed too much over the last 50 years, with the cum-shot still being the most important part of the vast majority of mainstream pornography. The fact that my current porn obsession is watching a woman trying to read a news report whilst multiple men come over her face is entirely incidental to the timing of this blog; what can I say? The heart (cunt) wants what it wants.

So, what is the appeal?

I suppose the answer this is probably different depending on whether you are the active partner (the person ejaculating onto the other), or the passive partner (who receives the ejaculation). For the sake of simplicity, in this blog I will be referring to scenes in which a male comes over a female partner.

(CGI image, artist unknown)

Swathes of people have gotten their knickers in a twist over the years, concerned about a facial/COF (cum on face), COB (cum on boobs/body) etc fundamentally being an act of dominance over the female; a way of humiliating her. And, I suppose, they’re kind of right.

Which, incidentally, is why I love it so much.

There’s a huge difference between doing this consensually and doing it non-consensually; whilst there’s something decidedly gross (and not in a good way) about a man who wants to do this, even knowing that his partner might not be that into it (punter-forum participants, I’m looking at you…), that doesn’t mean that there aren’t plenty of us out there who enjoy this activity (and consensual-non-consent-style ‘reluctance' can also be a huge turn on).

I have found facials/COB etc highly arousing since I learned of their existence. There’s something that feels like such a sublime surrender in allowing someone to come over my face or body, and I also enjoy the build up, almost as much as the moment itself. Looking up as a man strokes his cock, knowing that he is about to come all over me; I could do this all day. I know some men feel pressure at this moment, but please - take your time…

For a man, I’ve heard a few different things about the appeal of giving a woman a facial or coming over her tits/body; in my experience, for many, it seems to be simply a highly visual way of enjoying their orgasm. For others, they enjoy the powerful feeling that it gives them, seeing their cum on the face of their partner. And, yes, many do enjoy this as an act of humiliating the woman. And, like so many other types of sex, so long as everyone is on the same page - that’s ok!

It seems that every time I write one of these blogs, the types of play that I am engaging in become more the types of play that I most enjoy; hurrah for the blog! I suppose reading that I love something enough to warrant writing a whole article about it makes it less scary for people to request it during a session. I mean, at least this gives me a massive incentive to keep writing! There are a few things that are good to keep in mind when giving someone a facial/COB, so I thought it might be helpful to list some of these things. For me personally, these things are acts of consideration, and make everything hotter for me as the person on the receiving end.

- Surprise facials aren’t the one. Please give me some warning if you are reaching an orgasm; this allows me to a) prepare and b) fully enjoy :)

- “In the long run, you hit only what you aim for.”

― Henry David Thoreau

Given the activity, the above quote may, in fact, be totally misleading. It is, however, considerate to try to aim in such a way that the eyes are avoided. Though it’s hot hot hot to see a woman looking up at you as you edge closer and closer to orgasm, cum coming in contact with the eye can pose various health risks (and don’t get me started on the inconvenience of pink eye).

- Clean up. Because of my desire to minimise health risks during a facial, I may not always be able to help you to help me clean up afterwards. Please, take your time enjoying the visuals but if I cannot open my eyes or mouth after the big event, please help me by passing me a flannel or towel so that I don’t have to fumble around trying to find one!

I think that’s about it; no doubt I’ll think of something else as soon as I put away my laptop. The main point is just to enjoy it; god knows I will!