Life without Anorexia

My motto is






Sunday, July 3, 2016

Create a life you dont need to escape from

For many years of my life i havent really lived, i have just survived. I have kept going because there has always been something inside of me curious about how the future may turn out and wishful that things would get better even during the darkest of times. Though of course, there have been times when that hasnt been enough to want to keep me living and extreme measures have been taken. But most of the time there has always been something keeping me going and made me not give up.

For so many years i have survived and needed some sort of escape from life. Some people use books, others use drugs or alcohol, others self harm in some form or another, all are forms of escape from life and reality.

Reading, drawing and dreaming are great ways to just relax and dream yourself away for a while,it can help when you are having tough times or when reality and life feels a little tougher than usual. But when it comes to substance abuse, self harm or another other form of negative "escape" those are not helpful and will just cause more pain and consequences in the future. They are not long term escape methods, instead they will get worse or stop working until you increase the amount used/done.

Life shouldnt be about escaping life though. Then there is something wrong with the way you are living. If you dream about escaping and need to escape life all the time, then something needs to change in your reality. Whether it is you need to change your job, get rid of toxic people in your life, move to somewhere new and different or to seek help with your thoughts, or maybe all of them. But just surviving and trying to escape life isnt a way to live, it is exhausting and you dont appreciate or enjoy life.

The more i focus on the positives, the more i actually focus on life and my goals and dreams in reality, the more i focus on things that are real and see the good things in life, the less i need to escape reality. The more positive i try to be, the more i try to smile and try to create a life i enjoy the less i want to escape and the less i feel like just surviving rather than living.

And "living" doesnt have to mean the American film stereotype of living i.e going crazy wild, spending all your money, long road trips, travelling etc etc Living for me is just appreciating the small things in life, appreciating your own life and appreciating the 24 hours you have each day and making the best of them. Even if the best somedays is just that latte you made or seeing the sunset in the evening, and other days maybe your best is being very productive and getting things done etc

I feel like i am more and more reaching the stage of truly appreciating life again, seeing the positives and feeling happy even if some days are tough mentally. Somedays all i want is an escape route and to hit the exit button on life, but most often i dont feel like i am just surviving and hoping that things get better. But instead i have changed the things in my life that needed changing, i focused on the positives and creating a positive mindset and a life that doesnt drag the energy and life out of me, but instead fills me with energy and inspiration to keep going. Having goals and dreams is also a way to keep me motivated and wanting to live life and not just escape!

 I wanted to write this post to remind you all that life shouldnt be about just surviving, that instead you should want to live. You need to make the changes necessary so that life feels worth it, so that you actually want to live life.

There are times in life that are tougher than usual, i.e i spent the last 1,5 years not wanting to live life and just surviving. .The last 1,5 years have not been easy and even if i havent been 100% honest all the time about my mental state and such (only the past 6-10 months?), it has been a very long time where i have felt extremely negative and down and not myself at all. Not positive or happy, but now i feel like i am finding myself again more. Finding my happiness and realising i dont need to escape, but instead life is pretty great IF i make it great!!

I know that it's not just about "smiling", but you know what 'fake it till you make it' actually works sometimes! And the best thing you can do is to look over your life, see what needs to change, start making changes, start thinking positively and keep working towards those goals and know that it will get better eventually!!! Dont give up, and create a life you WANT TO live.


  1. Its is so nice to read that you feel you are in a better place mentally and can see the positives in your life. That is all credit to you because I know you`ve had a tough time these past few months.
    Hopefully now you`ve turned the corner and you can look forward - you have structure in your life, you have your family and you have goals as to where and what you want to be doing.
    I really admire your strength and dedication to stay positive even when at times you didn't truly feel it.
    I hope the happy times continue for you and you go from strength to strength, I`m sure they will :) And may this strength carry you through on those days where things aren't quite so bright.

    1. Thank you so much! I keep telling myself that it can only get better and if I keep making choices to make it better than I know it will :) I hope everything is ok with yiu and you can try to see the positives and hopefully all your stomach pain and such will get better :) finding ways to cope with the pain I guess is the only way :/

  2. I LOVED this post! And also, as usual, I can relate :) I was a great escapism my whole life. Daydream fantasies,obsessive reading, endless tv watching, eventually starvation, drugs, and literally running away from life, hiding out for days. I hated the present, hated my life, hated myself, and dreamed of literal and figurative escape, all the time. I lived outside reality, in the past, or the future. Hoped for "one day" but had zero thought for THIS day. Twas miserable but I didn't know the way out. Suicide was a very viable option. I'm so sad for that girl, now. We need to practice acceptance and gratitude in our daily lives in order to truly live and enjoy the present. And have the courage to change what we don't like. Life is now. Be here, now. So happy for you izzy!