Feminism, Child Upbringing and the unnecessary pressures of the African community

define “speedy death happening to the virtue called patience”.

What does how our generation do that other generations have never done ?

What you are missing is the point —> There is no such thing as “our generation is impatient”, maybe a discussion better suited for another topic.

First it was a bit of struggle for me leading my class in uni…the guys were my problem,they couldn’t handle the fact that a girl had to tell them what to do… But later they conformed though but it took a while…

When it comes to feminism and some issues women face ,from experience I’d like to say most times women cause more problems for other women than men do… They are the ones giving suggestions…monitoring the ring who is married or not,stressing what a woman should do and shouldn’t do.etc.

Recently, a married close friend told me that I should get married before I study further or get promoted…I was weak cos I felt with the level of exposure we have these days people shouldn’t think that.

A friend said it is best to not drive a car that is too flashy so it doesn’t chase guys away…The man is the Prize that every woman must win…Realllllyyyy??

Modern day guys would want to form “I believe in equality” ".In short ,I love it when she knows what she wants and go for it."
But when scenarios come up for him to stand by his word ,he can’t.

Because of the way guys are raised,it disturbs them that their woman might do better than them.


do you mind explaining a scenario where a guy told you this and proved otherwise when the time came ?

A friend used to date this guy …Everything was cool till she got promoted I think salary was huge…

Suddenly issues started coming up, they were not even married yet…
To cut the long story short…He cheated …
His excuse was that she was getting too big to be managed he didn’t know what to say or buy to please her…

Please what does that even mean? I felt that was totally messed up.

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Personally from experience, this is not the issue. Ladies make it look like a competition. Like they are trying to make a statement. Seriously like I said earlier it’s not about defining our gender through our roles or achievement in life.

As a man, there are lot of things a woman can do that I can not even attempt but the women don’t want to accept the fact that there are things for the “men’s world”

Nobody should stop any woman from achieving whatever she wants in her life… Academically, career wise etc women should just learn to stop shoving it down the throats of men like they are better. That’s when a man’s ego gets to ruin the whole thing.

We are all equal but just wired differently

I’ll have to hear his side of story to give a honest opinion. People do change when they become successful but cheatin on her is not a good way to respond to that so it’s his loss.

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Well not exactly. I think women can do whatever men can do except for produce sperm just like men can do whatever women are capable of apart from giving birth.

Really, women can do anything a man can do.


& by the way, some successful women do have unrealistic expectations of their men.

A successful woman will always expect her man to strive to be more successful and if he isn’t, she’s more likely to see him as a slacker than if it was a successful man expecting his wife to be at his level of success.

So it’s a human thing, gender has nothing to do with it.

You may be right…
But I have heard and seen more scenarios where the woman is not necessarily making noise or bragging about her achievements but the men are just irritated that she can make something out of herself…

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this is true though

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What I meant.



This is the truth …

But what are the guys doing about it?

What are girls doing about it?

Cos I know a guy …he knows his weakness, he isn’t doing anything about it or rather he claims he is trying to do something about it but he uses it as an excuse anytime he falls…

My issue is… yes we know these problems but in our everyday life are we making the conscious effort to change or we are just dwelling in it and making excuses for ourselves.


Truth is, there are some guys that would prefer to be with a woman who is always below them in every sense. They can’t deal with a woman who is more successful, more boxed up, more connected e.t.c. They would rather go for a woman below them so they can always have the feeling of “I am the man”, “I am the boss”… The moment they see a lady moving farther than them in life, they start cutting off.

Men were mostly built to know they should be higher, better and more successful than who they marry so they can really be The Man!

Truth is, every one regardless of their gender is running a race, living their life with or without marriage. If every couple will realize this and see their partner as a “whole” and not someone who should live lesser or below because they are with them, couples will thrive.

God did not create any gender with lesser brain or ability to do anything.

cc: @iamtosyne @theunofficialomotayo @NaijaLander @Judy @fola @Otseluv @Aje


well established :+1:t2::+1:t2::+1:t2::+1:t2::+1:t2::+1:t2: sensitization, re-orientation is what we need.

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I have experienced this several times…

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Its a lazy man that would do this. Matured men don’t really care what the woman is earning so long he gives him the respect he deserves as a man. Friday last week I was discussing this topic with my colleagues on air and some men called in and you could feel how angry they were talking about it. The topic was " is it a bad idea if a woman is earning higher than the husband? And the men were like " No way she will not respect me’ all claiming women who earn higher than their husband tend to treat their husband like trash. They didn’t even want to think about it. Even when I tried bringing up the idea that not all women does that, majority of them said its 1out of ten


:joy::joy::joy: How i feel sometimes…

This a lone made me laugh!! :rofl::rofl:

Thanks for sharing, I read it and lol, I like the angle she brings it. This is just common sense!


Guess you have been meeting the pirated versions of Modern.:grinning:

Hmmn… Competition…

Exactly, because i have a sister whose IQ is super than mine, and daughters who will shake foundations too. So let nobody define your limits. Abeg, I’m forever grateful that mum was independent, earning nice figures else how would she have put the three of us through school when her husband deemed it fit to up and go?

I am yet to watch the video as youtube is restricted in the office but i’ll do so in the evening.
I am not a feminist, I Support some of their ideologies because it’s just common sense.

The best form of re-orientation should start in nursery and primary schools just in case we have messed up families, else the family would have been the perfect place to push this.

And it’s long overdue for all the African beliefs and norms to be questioned, sifted and weighed. Out with the trash