big bad rant

It's pretty insane to think there are almost less than 100 days left of the wedding. Am I ready to get married? Certainly. Am I ready to deal with all the rituals of a wedding celebration? Not at all. Am I ready to be put on display for my looks and my crafty abilities? Meh.

I can't believe the wedding is turning out to be such a big thing. It's getting bigger...and bigger. It's so complicated. There are more and more complications and additions. I am annoyed at all the things I am presented with that I have to do or follow. I don't want to be a captured bridezilla. I want to be free. I just want to craft a whole bunch of pretty things and have a big party. But now...

There are few times in my life when I feel...bankrupt of energy or so conflicted. Even in college, I didn't feel this way, because homework has right answers, exams have proper solutions. If you do something wrong, the consequences are foreseeable. A wedding plan doesn't. You have to find the answers and decide whether they are the right ones or deal with the consequences as they appear.

While I'm ranting...

I have never wanted to smash something soooo bad before as my iPhone 3G now. It's such a piece of doodoo that I've been wanting to toss it out the window of my car as I'm going 80 on the freeway, or slam it flat glass-side down onto marble floors, or just take a hammer and smash it into pieces. I've NEVER been so angry at any object before, NEVER. I HATE IT SO MUCH. And yet, there isn't really anything better out there. And don't tell me to get an iPhone 4.

What an angry post. But look! On the other hand, I stole some time I didn't have this Thanksgiving to work on the invitation design. I'm pretty happy with the way they turned out. I think it was only recently that all the ideas really came together and became one (more) cohesive theme. I'm glad, 'art' cannot be rushed, even though time is crunching.

I surprised myself with the invitation maps I had to draw. I wasn't looking forward to it, but I guess it wasn't so bad. If someone pays me to draw theirs, I would totally do it! A little peak:

Such a negative post. But I really needed to rant.