The golden patina of accuracy and imperviousness

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  1. Kathryn,
    Thank you for this post (and not just because you quoted me). This makes me feel a lot less ridiculous about all the nights I have crawled home, my mind full of the latest embarrasing work gaffe. I will say that the last two years, though soul-crushing, have given me great sympathy for my fellow associates. Just today, I was telling a junior associate about our e-mail exchange to make him feel better after he sent a document to the client with an error in it.

  2. I so hear you! I am a foreign lawyer in the U.S., working as a senior paralegal doing international corporate and tax law (basically: I do the same work with the same responsibility as an associate, just less hours for less pay …). I made a big mistake by not asking the right questions to an office in another country and by taking for granted what the guys overseas were telling me. Well, big embarrassing mistake happened, sleepless nights, thoughts of me being stupid for the same reasons as you above. My boss was nice to me about it, but I still felt really bad about the error for quite some time, I was depressed and it took some time to get over it. And I have done this job for 10 years, and I think I am pretty good at it. But: shit happens. We work a lot, a lot of stuff crosses our desks, some of it totally weird, so – it happens. I am trying to put it into perspective: I have a friend who is a doctor, and he does organ transplants; when he makes a mistake, someone can die. When you or I make a mistake, yes, it’s expensive and we can loose our job, but hey! I hope things are looking up for you. I also thank you for your blog, as it tells me that I am not alone – the successful people in my firm are either guys or women with no family (or a live-in nanny). It’s always the balancing act between your job and your kids, between blackberry and gym, and all the other stuff that comes with it. But to be honest: I would not want it any other way (I would love to work 4 days a week though). Cheers, Alexandra

  3. Been there. Done that. And have felt the mind-boggling guilt and anxiety, and the inability to let go. You simply have to put one foot in front of the other for several days until it starts to blur into the past… and you realize that what feels like a scarlet letter is actually just this tiny paper cut that no one else notices. Hang in there. It WILL pass… I promise!

  4. Could not agree more with CTF. Catching the mistake is what matters. The feelings will pass and you’ll be a better lawyer for it. And maybe one day you’ll have a funny story to tell the summer associates. Hang in there!

  5. I used to work in investor relations and pretty much, my job was to get yelled at by either the CEO, president, head counsel, or the investors. Most of what I took the heat for wasn’t my fault, but screwing up is inevitable. NO ONE is perfect. Everyone does it. Sounds like you handled it with more grace than most, and that is truly what counts. What helped me is that due to my position I saw (and heard) about people much more senior to me making REALLY big mistakes that did cost the company millions of dollars.

    If you still can’t make yourself feel better, just think about Kenneth Lay. You ain’t got nothin’ on that guy. And remember that everyone is just faking it and feeling like a fraud at work.


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