July 13, 2015

Mr. & Ms. Funny

                           Andrew John Barna 
                                    03/29/1979  to 01/09/2005

                                  My sweetheart.  Memory Eternal.  

A tribute to the hottest moments between Andy and Katt:

Dressed up as Sid and Nancy...unintentionally.

1.)  The Stalkings
(Katt is getting ready for work.  Andy smacks her bottom.)

Andy:  Baby!...(Andy rubs Katt's shoulders and whispers in her ear.)  Are you wearing control top?
The donkey is a cigarette holder.  Pull the ears, and smokes come out of its butt.

2.)  The Handcuffs
(Andy and Katt are dressed as Sid and Nancy for Halloween.)

Andy:  Look baby!  I stole some handcuffs so that we can be handcuffed together all night.

(Andy is a prisoner while he's bitched out all night for stealing handcuffs.)

3.)  The Cup 

(Andy sneaks his 20 year old, new girlfriend Katt into his bedroom at his parents' house.  They drink beer.  To avoid the dog barking and waking up the family, Andy pees out the window and Katt has to pee in a Big Gulp cup.)  

Andy:  Let's play a game.  We'll write romantic things to do on pieces of paper and then take turns picking them out of hats.  

Katt:  Okay.

(They write stuff down.  Katt picks first out of Andy's hat.)

Katt:  (She reads out loud) "Kiss for one whole minute."  Okay.  

(After complying, it's Andy's turn to pick out of Katt's hat.)

Andy:  (He reads out loud) "Take a sip from the pee cup."  Katt!  No!  I'm picking again....(Andy picks another and reads out loud)  "Take a sip from the pee cup."  

4.)  The Baby Talk  

Katt and Andy:  (Speaking in a made up baby language)
Everyone:  That's so fucking annoying!  

5.) The Regularly Occurring God-Knows-What

(Katt's heels click on the beautiful hardwood floors in their house.  She turns the corner into the living room.)

Katt:  Hey baby?- ANDY!  There are people here!  ANDY!!!  Goddamnit Andy!!! 

6.)  The Bitching in the Kitchen 

(Katt is trying to cook something.  Andy, who is a foot taller, looks over her head at what she's doing.)

Andy:  Baby, you should....

Katt:  Please, just let me...

Andy:  You, you should...instead you should...

Katt:  AHHHH!!!! 

(Andy, seeing Katt is about to scream at him, picks her up, swings her around, then starts kissing her passionately on the mouth while she tries to yell at him.) 
As soon as I heard Andy pull up in the driveway after work, I would run outside barefoot and jump up and down cheering.

7.)  The Dog  

Andy:  Let's see who the dog thinks is the dominant one in the house.  Who do you think he will protect?

Katt:  I have no idea.  Let's go!

(They wrestles on the ground.  Otis the dog comes up and starts humping Katt's leg.)

Katt:  I don't even outrank the dog?   

"You're doggone right!"

8.)  The Night Moves

(Andy and Katt are watching Late Night with Conan O'Brien in bed.  Suddenly, Andy grabs Katt and flips her over him to the other side of the bed.)

Katt:  What the hell was that?

Andy:  I'm trying to spice things up in the bedroom.  

Andy used to love taking pictures of me and the dog snuggling.

9.  The Scent

(It's the middle of the night and Katt is spooning Andy.  Andy feels something tickle the back of his neck.  Katt is sniffing his head like a bloodhound.)

Andy:  Baby?  What are you doing?

Katt:  In case something ever happens to you, I want to remember everything about sleeping next to you.  

Andy:  I love you.