Who should know about your engagement first, who sits at the bridal table and other pressing questions, answered!

1. Should our engagement be announced first to my family or to my fiance’s family?

In the old days the news was first announced to the bride’s family. Today, most people try to announce the engagement to each family on the same day. A great idea is to bring them together for lunch or dinner, if they know that an engagement is about to be announced. And it becomes “official”.

2. My grandmother would like to give a shower for me, but I’ve been told that close family members do not give showers. Is it true?

Yes, anyone may give a shower except the immediate family. It is not appropriate for mothers, sisters (or half sisters), grandmothers or mother-in-law.

3. Can we include both sets of parents on the wedding invitation? Is this acceptable wedding etiquette?

It is more than acceptable. It is an increasing custom which should be encouraged, specially when both families nowadays share more and more of the expenses.

4. Who sits at the bride’s table? I would like my parents to be there since they are paying for most of the costs, but I have been told that the wedding party sits there?

Your parents and your fiance’s parents should be seated together to share in the happiness of their two children. But if you have one of those long banquet like tables and you have room for both sets of parents you could sit them with the wedding party and you.

5. I can’t have a big reception. My parents are divorced and they don’t speak to each other. My mother doesn’t want my dad to attend, so we told them we are doing it our way and we are paying for it. But the truth is that we can’t afford it. Do you have any solutions?

There are different ways you can handle it. You could have two receptions given by each of you parents: one held immediately after the wedding ceremony and attended by your mothers friends and relatives and the other later the same day or after you return from your honeymoon and attended by your dad’s friends and relatives.
Another way of addressing your problem is to plan a simple church reception for everyone who comes to the wedding and afterward a smaller dinner for a limited group of family and friends.

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