

Plight of the Planner


If we all cooperate, we can have fun like this guy. Courtesy of Getty Images.

Disclaimer: This blog is not about any specific person or group of people. It is a general piece about everyone I know and a widespread social behavior I’ve noticed. (Although, if you know me personally and think I’m talking about you, I probably am. <3)

I’m not sure if this is something that happens with everyone, just my age group, or only me. It’s an observation I’ve made about people.

Sometimes, I like to engage in the masochistic activity known as “planning something.” From hanging out with one person to planning a prestigious dinner party for colleagues, trying to organize an event can be an irritating process.

After you pick the date and start inviting people, I’ve noticed something interesting about how many people handle invitations. The people who know they can come, and the people who know they can’t, are usually straightforward about it right away.

The “maybes“ who realize they can‘t attend react differently. When the realization hits that they can’t make it to the fancy cocktail party, they can do two things.

Right choice: Alert the host as soon as possible so they can plan accordingly.

What everyone does: Blocks off all communication, digs their way into the earth‘s core, and tries to hide.

If someone learns that they can‘t go, I might as well unfriend them on Facebook, delete their number from my phone, and not make direct eye contact.

They will screen all calls, texts, and carrier pigeons. They will travel to the ends of Antarctica, Peru, and Atlantis to avoid telling you they can’t make it.

I think people find it difficult to say they can’t (or don’t want to) go, as it might make the host feel rejected. So, instead of dealing with them directly, I think they avoid the planner in the hopes that the situation dissipates on its own.

This can be really troublesome for the host-to-be. If s/he wants to know how much food to have or tell other people living there how many people to expect, it makes it hard when potential guests avoid RSVPing until the last minute, or at all, to avoid a preconceived awkward situation.

I react to this phenomenon by calling nonstop, trying to corner people in real life if I can, sending a million texts, and essentially being the world’s most annoyingly persistent person. I’m not going to be offended if you can’t swing by my shindig, but I will get a yes or no. If I have to go postal, Harry Potter style, I will.

Has anyone else noticed this?

Zack Kilmer, College at Brockport

One Response

  1. sarah says:

    Yes this is so true. And then you see the person a week later, and their like, “oh yea, how was that party by the way?!”