Dr. Chase: Why is it anyone's problem? I violently executed my tenth-grade geometry teacher about five different ways in my mind.
Masters: I didn't want to kill anybody. I just wanted to torture them slowly in my basement, preferably with acid. You guys ever think about what you might do to House?
Taub: Maybe it's no big deal.
Dr. Chase: Unless it is. Someone shot House.

Dr. Chase: Do you want me to quote from First Corinthians? 'Cause I can do that.
Dr. Cuddy: As a Jew, I'm gonna have to decline that offer.
Dr. Chase: Don't know what you're missing. St. Paul was really on his game.

Julia: And House is cool with this? I mean, you guys...
Dr. Cuddy: We've only been together a few months.
Julia: Hmm. Seems like a lot longer. Probably because you've been talking about him for ten years. And by talking, I mean ranting about wanting to smash his teeth in with a stapler for being such a jerk.
Dr. Cuddy: People change.

Dr. Cuddy: You're right. Odds are this is nothing.
House: Meet me in the cafeteria in ten. There'll be a corn dog with your name on it. I mean an actual corn dog. They fixed the deep fryer.

Dr. Cuddy: Did you actually wake up early and hide under the bed just to scare the crap outta me?
House: Set an alarm and everything.
Dr. Cuddy: It's like dating a ten-year-old.
House: God, I hope not.

House: I could do better.
Cuddy: I don't think you can.

House: If you don't make it, I won't sleep with anyone for at least a month.
Cuddy: Make it two.

Keep talking like Wilson and you're face is gonna freeze like that.

I didn't wanna kill anybody. I just wanted to torture them slowly, preferably with acid.

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