Soliciting Questions

I need to test a microphone and some recording software for a project I’m doing. So ask me some questions. I’ll answer them this afternoon (so, you know, get those questions in soon). Thanks.

Update, 11:32am: Okay, I have 20 questions. That’s enough for now. I’ll power up the microphone and get to them.

29 thoughts on “Soliciting Questions

  1. Are you a fan of Burroughs’ John Carter of Mars series? How about Doctor Who/Torchwood? If the answer to both of these questions is “yes”, how far do you think the character of Captain Jack in the latter is influenced by the former?

  2. Ok, I’ve heard your recorded voice several times (and once in person), so thats kind of a “been there, done that”.

    Do you do any impressions?

    Come on, you know you are dying to say: “Put the fucking lotion in the basket” or “Luke, I am your father”.

    Double dog dare ya! Go for it!

  3. A giant bat has flown into your office and is using it’s super-powerful echo location abilities to sonically destroy your stuff, how do you stop it?

  4. Edmund @ 1: I think that all depends on the Hulk’s frame of mind. The madder he gets, the stronger he gets and therefore, the more massive he becomes. The Thing, however, is at a constant mass.

    For a somewhat related question, do the Hulk’s…uh…droppings register on a geiger counter?

  5. What’s the airspeed of an unladen African Swallow?

    That or: What’s your favorite color?

    Be careful, incorrect answers may have dire consequences.

  6. Some time ago I was asking this on Charlie Stross’ blog:

    “If you would have to face Scalzi in a fight to the death, what would be your weapon of choice (and why)?”

    His decline to answer speaks volumes in itself. Will you also take the easy way out?

  7. If you had become an internationally famous audiobook reader rather than an internationally famous writer, whose books would you most enjoy recording, and why?

  8. What’s the best advice you can give writers about dialogue? I have an absolute tin ear when it comes to dialogue!

  9. What would your personal version of Hell (the worst place you could possibly be) consist of? What would your personal version of Heaven (the best place you could possibly be) consist of?

  10. I read Mr. Wright’s treatise, er, do you think he’s right, is science fiction nothing more than wank material?



  11. Why do you think so many people are interested in killing two birds with one stone? This strikes me as nothing more than efficient cruelty.

  12. Have you ever been in a cockpit before? Do you like gladiator movies? Have you ever seen a grown man naked? Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

  13. Would you ever consider using the word hispidulous in a sentence and can you say it three times fast?

  14. 1) Why on earth did you agree to that cover for Hate Mail? I find it highly amusing, but do you really want people to start thinking you’re the antichrist or something?

    2) Where did the AMC blog/column deal come from? That just seemed out of left field.

    3) What’s your opinion on an author’s series being expanded upon after his/her death by subsequent authors (e.g. Frank Herbert, AE van Vogt, soon Robert Jordan, etc.)? Good? Bad? They’re never up to the original standard, but are they enough worse that they should be given up totally?

  15. Oh, also: Who would win in a fight – John Scalvi or John Scalazi? (Ripped shamelessly from someone in the podcast thread a few days ago)

    Inquiring minds want to know!

  16. What are your three favorite words?

    What author do you think writes books that are best suited to reading aloud? I’ve always thought that Raymond Chandler’s books would probably make for good read-aloud storytelling.

    Does your vacuum cleaner make a high-pitched, funny noise? You know that’s a sign that you’re a communist. Don’t expect me to believe you, just because you say it. You better include an audio sample, just to be safe.

    Fill in the blank:
    War is Peace. Hatred is Love. Pudding is ________.

    Of course, since I’m deaf it doesn’t matter if you answer these or not; I can’t tell and will assume that you did.

    (win for me!)

  17. Dang! I missed it by 6 minutes.

    I can still assume that you’ve decided to include my questions anyway.

    (still win for me?)

  18. Sucre!

    That’s what I get for being out walking the dog when you asked for questions.

    My question: Who would win in a fight of zombie Tim Russert vs. zombie Walter Winchell.

    Oh, well. We’ll never know.

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