What It’s Like To Be Ryan Gosling

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What It's Like To Be Ryan Gosling
Spencer Althouse

1. First of all, girls love you

No, they REALLY love you

2. Heck, even guys love you

3. Cause you just have that way with people

4. So your fans become a little confused

5. Cause you try to be all polite and innocent

6. Even though you’re secretely confident

7. Really, really confident

8. Cause you know damn well what the public wants

10. Aside from that, you were also a Mouseketeer

11. Making you a 90s teen heartthrob

12. And a 00’s heartthrob

13. And a 2010’s heartthrob

14. Did I mention you were a demigod?

15. And the best thing to come from Canada

16. Proving that everyone wants a piece of you

17. Even the Backstreet Boys wanted a piece of you

(Ryan Gosling was offered the chance to audition for The Backstreet Boys, but he declined the opportunity)

18. You’re also better than chocolate, apparently

19. And you have a way with words

20. Making it impossible for the world to get enough of you, even in pancake-formation

21. So you give us an ultimatum

22. Yeah, like we’d ever be that stupid

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