Wednesday, January 04, 2012

If you are conservative, you're more likely to be hot, and a terrible person.

And also, conservatives are basically like Russian leaders, but don't want to admit it!

This morning, on The Dan Patrick Show where I don't normally get my political news, Dan and his minions talked about posting a poll asking, simply "Michelle Bachmann or Sarah Palin," without explaining what criteria people would use to vote, and from there went on to try to figure out what Democrats they could throw into the mix...

... and they came up with Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton which, okay, maybe they're not my cup of tea, but are they anybody's cup of tea?

And I thought "Really? You can't come up with a hot liberal politician right away?"

And now, 8 hours later, I still couldn't think of one -- and so I googled hot liberal women politicians because that can't get me in any trouble at work, right? -- and found all kinds of links to a study released back in March, 2011, that said right-wingers were generally hotter than left-wingers.

The researchers didn't have a solid theory why that is, but theorized that it's cause and effect: if you're good-looking, you're likely to be anti-egalitarian; that is, the more privileged you are, the less you want others to have privileges.

Which sounds about right, pun fully intended, doesn't it?

As if to point out how painfully unattractive you have to be in order to actually care about people as a politician, this June list of the 30 hottest political women of 2011 found only two actual politicians to include on the liberal-hot side, Maria Cantwell,

Who is Alison Janney's less-attractive older sister, and Barbara Boxer,

Who is a male Sarah Palin impersonator.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But even allowing for politics hot as opposed to real world hot, neither of them are hot.

To underscore, too, the fact that all liberals are secretly Marxists, that list included Alina Kabaeva:

who is undeniably hot and who was included on that list of "liberals" because she's been linked, romantically, to Vladimir Putin.

The (conservative, duh) author of that hot-lady article, Eric Golub, claims he "began blogging on March 11, 2007, the midpoint of 9/11." Huh? 9/11 had a midpoint and it was 6 years after the actual day? In any event, Mr. Golub was too busy making incomprehensible jokes (?) about 9/11 to bother looking at Putin's policies. Vladimir Putin instituted a flat tax (favored by most GOP candidates as of October, 2011), reduced corporate profits taxes (ditto), promoted energy pipelines (a pet project of the current Congressional GOP), arrested people who protested his policies (a less radical step than Newt Gingrich's proposal to arrest judges who don't do what he says), and so on.

In short: Eric Golub is too dumb/lazy to know that Vladimir Putin is a Republican, which is too bad for Romney because it just means that after everyone finds out Santorum is a nutjob, too, the GOP is likely going to cling to Vlad the way it once tried to grope Herman Cain.

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