First, has anyone noticed any spellcheckers that don't flag polyamory as a misspelled word (including this one)?  When will that change?

Second, what kinds of references do you all know about of polyamory in the arts world?  I'm not down on soft-core porn, but am really looking for work that is a little more thoughtful about the relationship aspects of multiple loves. 

Sure, there's the Woody Allen canon, most of which deal with breakups, dating relationships, failed marriages, etc., and there are a good deal of jazz numbers from the 30s-50s that vindicate the cheating male, but do you all know of anyone who deals with the subject consistently and compellingly?



p.s.  Lyle Lovett's "More Pretty Girls Than One" and "Texas River Song" are two of my favorites.

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Replies to This Discussion

I have never seen a spell checker that doesn't flag polyamory except for mine, but I added i"polyamory" to the list.

One film I loved was "Me You Them", a Brazilian film based on a woman with three husbands. They certainly didn't all sit down and say "Let's all be polyamorous.", but they did all work it out.
The Alt.Polyamory FAQ Cultural Supplement is one of the most comprehensive listings I've seen.

What does the Woody Allen canon have to do with ethical non-monogamy, or polyamory, or were you being sarcastic?
Woody Allen made some movie about 2 girls who went to Spain. They got seduced by this Spanish loverboy with a psycho ex-wife, one of the girls got in a relationship with him and eventually the ex-wife too and suddenly the girl balanced out the dysfunction and they were all happy. (And then the girl wanted to move on). It was supposed to be a comedy but it didn't come off like a comedy, except that it was so ridiculously pretentious that we were all making fun of it and laughing. And apparently that was intentional.
Futurama's movie "The Beast With A Billion Backs" there's a part about the main character getting into a relationship with a girl and then realizing she has 5 other boyfriends ("he's your boyfriend? but I thought I was your boyfriend" "You are. So is he"), but also there's something about an alternate universe that makes everyone fall in love with it, and so everyone in our universe is in a relationship with this alternate universe.

Songs: Jefferson Airplane did a song called "Triad".

Maybe I'll think of more things later.
"The Beast With A Billion Backs" was a hoot!

It appears David Crosby read Heinlein. I looked up the lyrics to "Triad".
I'm a huge fan of Woody Allen's films and have seen them all. As far as ethical non-monogamy, there are few examples, in fact, (though this particular term is somewhat new to me), I would say that his films approach more the question of unethical non-monogamy. Only his last two films have openly polyamorous relationships, one, "Vicki Christina Barcelona" that PRG mentioned reflects an humorous exploration and "Whatever Works" has a 2nd-life flare to it where two side characters adopt different lifestyles post-mid-life crisis (the father of the protagonist realizes he's gay and the mother becomes and artist and moves in with two men). Often in his films, multiple lovers leads to great unhappiness and even death ("Matchpoint" and "Crimes and Misdemeanors"-which if you haven't seen the latter, it's worth seeing twice annually).

The real impact of his work on the question of polyamory is that almost all of the films approach people's need and desire for other people in their lives. Even an early film like "Play It Again Sam" centers on his character falling in love with his best friend's wife and she in return as Bogart eggs him on. Allen's solutions almost always fall short of anything revealing an awakening by his characters to the idea that they could maintain multiple open relationships, but the fact that he challenges the societal expectation that people fall in love but once, and that he does so consistently and creatively (incredibly so) reflects the largest body of art that I know about dealing with the topic.
Vicky Christina Barcelona, that's it. I thought he didn't show the triad leading to unhappiness, except that bubbleheaded Christina wanted to "keep searching" and so she got tired of being in a triad even though it was a nice relationship (despite being completely dysfunctional beforehand).
I have run into so many people using the term "polyamory" who seem to think it just means "fuck whoever you can get away with" that I don't use it very often. "Ethical non-monogamy" is a mouthful, but there's that word "ethical" in it. Not that it will faze some people.
I was chatting with a friend who was telling me how his former girlfriend and he were trying to figure out what they mean to one another, that they would be great partners if not for his need to have more people in his life (friends, lovers, etc) and her lack of that need.  I used the term "ethical non-monogamy" (which I'm using more frequently too for the same reasons) and he was really turned on by it.  He loved the use of "ethical", go figure.
My favorite in culture is a spanish movie called Dieta Mediterranea (Mediterranean Diet). It's the story of a woman who ends up in a relationship with two men who are actually childhood friends. How they struggle to keep it from others and how it evolves in time. Very good movie.


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