Changes: Scourge chat log


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      [[File:The Scourge Vent Recordings|425]]

      Revision as of 06:49, June 18, 2013


      This is a silly article


      Disclaimer: I did not write this, I am only sharing it with the community. This was written by Bryan Buckly who ran the site coffee with sargeras, there were 3 scourge chat logs in all and this one has been adapted into a radio style show by a few wow comentators such as Totalbiscut and Jessie Cox.

      Scourge Chat Log

          • User "theLichKing" has entered the chat.***

      [theLichKing]: Hey

      [theLichKing]: Anyone there?

      [theLichKing]: *drums fingers*

          • User "Kel'Thuz4d" has entered the chat.***

      [theLichKing]: Hey man.

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: my liege

      [theLichKing]: Listen, there's this thing I need you to do for me

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: anything my liege

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: what army must i lay to waste

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: whose lands shall i decimate for ur glory

      [theLichKing]: Um, yeah, I'm good on decimation for today. We're going to hold off on the decimation for, like, a week or so.

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: ok?

      [theLichKing]: I was thinking. How much trouble do you think it would be to have a thermostat installed in the Throne Room?

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: ...

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: y?

      [theLichKing]: It's really really cold in here.

      [theLichKing]: I'm Lord of the Scourge. I think I should get a thermostat.

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: no its a frozen throne

      [theLichKing]: Right

      [theLichKing]: See that's exactly what I'm talking about. The throne is frozen. The chair that I sit on all day? Literally a block of ice.

      [theLichKing]: It is so very, very cold.

      [theLichKing]: I actually cannot over-emphasize how cold I am on a daily basis.

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: but its supposed to be frozen

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: its the source of ur power

      [theLichKing]: About that. Can I get my power transferred to some other source?

      [theLichKing]: Something that isn't made out of ice that I then have to literally sit on?

      [theLichKing]: Someone dropped the ball there.

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: ok so like what should it be then

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: like a ring?

      [theLichKing]: A ring?

      [theLichKing]: Seriously, a ring.

      [theLichKing]: Do you _read_ history?

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: so what then

      [theLichKing]: I don't know. I'll think about it. Maybe an armoire.

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: armor?

      [theLichKing]: No, not armor. An armoire. The furniture.

      [theLichKing]: Oh but speaking of armor

      [theLichKing]: I have skulls on my kneecaps.

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: ok?

      [theLichKing]: No, it is _not_ okay.

      [theLichKing]: I have skulls.

      [theLichKing]: On my _kneecaps_.

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: well for the thermostat i think u need approval from a supervisor

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: ill just get kiljaeden in here and well sort it out

      [theLichKing]: No!

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: no its cool

      [theLichKing]: No, don't...

      [theLichKing]: Ugh, my old boss. I hate this guy.

      [theLichKing]: Ok I'll just...I'll act casual. Like old times.

          • User "Killzone'jaeden" has entered the chat.***

      [Killzone'jaeden]: This had better be important.

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah lich king here just wants a warmer throne room is all

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Warmer?

      [theLichKing]: No it's really not necessary sir

      [Killzone'jaeden]: You want a warmer throne room?

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah

      [theLichKing]: No

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah he does

      [theLichKing]: I really don't.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Ok sure let me just get right on that

      [Killzone'jaeden]: I actually know these guys, they're really great, literally made out of fire

      [Killzone'jaeden]: They could heat your room right up for you

      [Killzone'jaeden]: They're called the Burning Legion...why don't I just invite them to Azeroth so they can come and

      [Killzone'jaeden]: OH WAIT

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Someone's too busy being Chatty Cathy to PREPARE HIS WORLD FOR AN APOCALYPSE

      [theLichKing]: So sorry sir

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Yeah, "sir," that's new

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: hey cmon though its not like weve just been sitting around

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: were spreading plague and stuff

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: we totally spread a lot of plague

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: and dont forget the spider war

      [theLichKing]: Actually I wouldn't mention that...

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Oh yes. The "Spider War."

      [Killzone'jaeden]: The "war" where you spent ten years getting rid

      [Killzone'jaeden]: OF SPIDERS

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Check it out, I had a Mosquito War last night. Mosquito lands on me, I squish it. Done. Two seconds.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Didn't take me ten years

      [Killzone'jaeden]: BECAUSE I'M NOT AN IDIOT

      [theLichKing]: Yes sir

      [theLichKing]: Very sorry sir.

      [theLichKing]: I'm on it.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Y'know what, you know who else might want to hear about this

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Maybe I shold get Sargeras in here

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: Sure.

      [theLichKing]: NO! That's not necessary

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Hold on I'll go get him.

          • User "Killzone'jaeden" has left the chat.***

      [theLichKing]: ARE YOU CRAZY

      [theLichKing]: "Sure"? Do you know who Sargeras actually is??

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: i think so hes alliance right

      [theLichKing]: ...

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: horde?

      [theLichKing]: *headdesk*

          • User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***

      [An00b'arak]: hay guise whats goin on in dis chat

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: sup

      [An00b'arak]: sup

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: sup

      [An00b'arak]: sup

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: whaaaazzzzaaaaaap

      [An00b'arak]: what are yoooooou doing

      [theLichKing]: GUYS

      [theLichKing]: SERIOUSLY

      [An00b'arak]: whats his problem

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: hes cold

      [An00b'arak]: well yeah he sits on a frozen throne inside of icecrown glacier with a sword named frostmorn

      [An00b'arak]: the name icecrown glacier can only imply that among glaciers, which are themselves made of ice, this one is especially icy

      [An00b'arak]: its possible there is some coldness involved

      [theLichKing]: _Thank_ you!

      [theLichKing]: Ok, so install me a thermostat pl0x.

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: uh boss ixnay on asking him to install stuff

      [An00b'arak]: what is that supposed to mean??

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: uh

      [An00b'arak]: oh i get it

      [An00b'arak]: bc im an arachnid?????

      [An00b'arak]: and how could i possibly install a thermostat without thumbs

      [An00b'arak]: racist

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: no no no

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: well ok yeah how would that actually work

      [An00b'arak]: im sure i dont just an arachnid

      [An00b'arak]: guess what im not ashamed of what i am

      [An00b'arak]: >8< spider pride

          • User "An00b'arak" has left the chat.***

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: thank god


      [Kel'Thuz4d]: oh god

      [An00b'arak]: im lodging a formal protest

      [An00b'arak]: i am going to let every1 know the scourge is not an equal opportunity employer

      [An00b'arak]: and i am being discriminated against due to race

      [An00b'arak]: and species

      [An00b'arak]: and phylum

      [theLichKing]: Ok, look, there's no need to get upset

      [An00b'arak]: omg

      [An00b'arak]: dont apologize for him arthas


      [Killzone'jaeden]: Sargeras is logging on now.

      [theLichKing]: Aw hell.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Precisely.

      [theLichKing]: Listen, I wasn't complaining earlier, the temperature is fine...

      [An00b'arak]: kiljaeden??

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Excuse me, who is this? I'm *Lord* Jaeden to anybody that's not a Dreadlord.

      [An00b'arak]: listen killy there is some phylumism going down in this piece

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Killy? Oh you do want to die don't you.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Also does nobody capitalize anymore?!

      [Killzone'jaeden]: I didn't spend seven aeons feasting on the souls of the righteous just so I could play typing games with the functionally illiterate.

      [An00b'arak]: no im serious this is a real issue

      [Killzone'jaeden]: *What* is a real issue?

      [An00b'arak]: phylum

      [An00b'arak]: ism

      [Killzone'jaeden]: You best start talking some English

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras?

      [theLichKing]: Precisely.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Don't get cute.

      [An00b'arak]: i am being discriminated against on the basis of my spinal condition

      [Killzone'jaeden]: What is your spinal condition?

      [An00b'arak]: i dont have 1

      [Killzone'jaeden]: What?

      [An00b'arak]: im an arachnid

      [An00b'arak]: >8< spider power

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Hey LK I thought you squished all of them already. You spent ten years on these morons and you didn't even finish the job?

      [An00b'arak]: what

      [theLichKing]: Yeah I reanimated him. I'm the Lich King, it's sort of what I do.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: So you smashed a bunch of bugs

      [Killzone'jaeden]: And then you were like,

      [Killzone'jaeden]: "Huh! I sure would like to have those bugs back again!"

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Is your brain frozen or what?

      [theLichKing]: Ok that's kind of what I was getting at before.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: That you're an idiot?

      [An00b'arak]: ur horrible

      [An00b'arak]: ur a phylumist

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Oh no, I'm horrible. Why don't you go and tell all my demon friends how horrible I am. They will be shocked.

      [An00b'arak]: phylumist phylumist phulymst phylimist

      [An00b'arak]: that gets hard to type after a while though

          • User "theLichKing" has kicked user "An00b'arak" from the chat.***

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: thank god


      [Kel'Thuz4d]: oh god

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: go back to your hole

      [theLichKing]: Yeah get out of here

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Go back to your hole, spider

      [An00b'arak]: p

      [An00b'arak]: h

      [An00b'arak]: y

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: lolwut

      [An00b'arak]: l

      [An00b'arak]: u

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Shut. Up.

      [An00b'arak]: m

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Dude get rid of this guy.

      [An00b'arak]: i


      [An00b'arak]: sts


      [Killzone'jaeden]: Finally

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras

      [theLichKing]: It's really not necessary, I withdraw my request completely.

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: no he wants armor

      [theLichKing]: An *armoire.*

      [theLichKing]: Of power.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: I cannot express how much I hate both of you.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: And this is coming from someone whose lungs are made out of solidified hate.


      [~*`Sylvanas'*~]: hey everyone ^_^

      [theLichKing]: How did you get in here?!

      [theLichKing]: This is a private chat!

      [~*`Sylvanas'*~]: lol :)

      [~*`Sylvanas'*~]: i hacked admin :)

          • User "theLichKing" has kicked user "~*`Sylvanas'*~" from the chat.***

      [~*`Sylvanas'*~]: lol lol lol

      [Killzone'jaeden]: TIE fighters

      [theLichKing]: What?

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Nothing. Can't you kick her out?

      [theLichKing]: I just tried

      [~*`Sylvanas'*~]: admin guys lol

      [~*`Sylvanas'*~]: :) ^___^

      [~*`Sylvanas'*~]: oh plus i can chat under ur names check this out

      [theLichKing]: im a little girl and i like ponies lol

      [theLichKing]: What! I hate ponies!

      [Killzone'jaeden]: ROFLMAO

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: she hax0red you dude

      [theLichKing]: This isn't funny!

      [theLichKing]: i play with dolls

      [theLichKing]: and bake cookies with my mommy

      [theLichKing]: Untrue! I deny everything

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Hahaha

      [theLichKing]: Ok guys this is lame let's just go to a different chat room

      [Killzone'jaeden]: NO!

      [Killzone'jaeden]: We're waiting for Sargeras!

      [Killzone'jaeden]: It's next to impossible to get him into these things anyway

      [Killzone'jaeden]: I'm not going to confuse him

      [theLichKing]: im a little teapot short and stout

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Besides this is hilarious

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Sargeras is going to get here and you'll be singing about'll get pwned

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Maybe he'll buy you a "pwny"

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Hahaha see what I did there

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: i dont get it

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: wait ok but thats dumb

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Wordplay. Look it up.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: i like to dress up like a girl

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Oh now she's doing it to me too

      [Killzone'jaeden]: i like to put on women's clothes

      [Killzone'jaeden]: and pretend im a woman


      [Killzone'jaeden]: and look at myself in the mirror all pretty

      [Killzone'jaeden]: and call myself the prettiest prettiest princess

      [theLichKing]: Umm she's not here anymore

      [theLichKing]: Are you just typing that stuff yourself?

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: ...

      [theLichKing]: ...

      [Killzone'jaeden]: ...

      [Killzone'jaeden]: WHERE THE HELL IS SARGERAS


      [~*`Sylvanas'*~]: heeeeeee~

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: omg wtf this sux

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: i have a dungeon to run

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: pcs are going to be like raiding me and shiz

      [theLichKing]: Oh please. The expansion is called "Wrath of the Lich King." It's got my _name_ in it. You don't think a few guilds are going to be farming me as soon as I'm a fightable boss?

      [theLichKing]: probably not because i suck so much

      [theLichKing]: DAMMIT SYLVANAS

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: ok and now my cat is 8fwhwe8ufhffweeexvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: walking on my keyboard

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: hold on afk

      [theLichKing]: You have a cat?

      [theLichKing]: Seriously?

      [theLichKing]: You're a freaking skeleton lord. Why do you have a cat?

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Yeah why *do* you have a cat?

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: back, had to put the cat out

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: and ok

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: two things

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: first, cats are awesome

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: second, RACISM??

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: "freaking skeleton lord"

      [Killzone'jaeden]: WTF is wrong with you people?

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: hey! what do you mean..."you people"

      [Killzone'jaeden]: What do YOU mean, "you people"?

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: hahahaha

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Hahahaha...Tropic Thunder, great movie.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: i like to poop

      [theLichKing]: ...

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Ok that one I actually did not say, that was Sylvanas that time

      [theLichKing]: ...

      [Killzone'jaeden]: No seriously this time it was her

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: "this time"?

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: wait so u really do like to wear womens clothes

      [theLichKing]: You are, in fact, the prettiest prettiest princess?

      [Killzone'jaeden]: No, of course not

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: do u have a panty drawer

      [Killzone'jaeden]: No! I wear boxers. With thorns on them.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: And skulls.

      [theLichKing]: Ok were the skulls on the kneecaps YOUR idea then??

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Wait what?

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah dont change the subject

          • User "SARGERAS" has entered the chat.***


      [SARGERAS]: I AM INVINICBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      [SARGERAS]: I AM HTE DARK TITAN!!!111111!1!

      [Killzone'jaeden]: oh god


      [theLichKing]: You actually said that already

      [Killzone'jaeden]: He spelled it different though.

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Dark Lord, there is an issue we need you to resolve


      [SARGERAS]: I AM SARGERAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      [SARGERAS]: TEH DARK TIT AN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Right

      [Killzone'jaeden]: But what we're going for is

      [theLichKing]: Yeah I'm confident he'll be able to resolve this

      [Killzone'jaeden]: The Lich King has this complaint...


      [SARGERAS]: i wear little pink girly panties

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: omg

      [SARGERAS]: WHATTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      [theLichKing]: hahahahaha

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: pwned

      [SARGERAS]: I DID NTO SAY THAT!11111111111111111111

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: i dunno about you guys but im kinda turned on right now

      [theLichKing]: Rule 34

      [SARGERAS]: yeah, you like that, there's more where that came from

      [SARGERAS]: *twirls hair seductively*

      [SARGERAS]: I DID NOT SYA THAT EITHERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      [SARGERAS]: I WILL DESTROY ALL TEH WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


      [SARGERAS]: !

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: *dies laughing*

      [Killzone'jaeden]: Ok I'm done

      [Killzone'jaeden]: F this

      [Killzone'jaeden]: I'm outta here

      [Killzone'jaeden]: I hate Azeroth

      [~*`Sylvanas'*~]: aw dont go :)


      [~*`Sylvanas'*~]: byeee~


      [theLichKing]: Hey I think he spelled all the words right in that one

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: missed a t

      [theLichKing]: Aw, yeah

      [theLichKing]: So close


      [Kel'Thuz4d]: ok im out too

      [theLichKing]: Ugh fine

      [theLichKing]: TTYL

      [Kel'Thuz4d]: ttyl

          • User "Kel'Thuz4d" has left the chat.***


      [theLichKing]: This is the worst chat ever.

      [theLichKing]: The worst.

      [theLichKing]: The worst.

      [theLichKing]: Whatevs, titan dude. I'm done.

      [theLichKing]: Still freezing my ass off though.

      [theLichKing]: *wrath*

          • User "theLichKing" has left the chat.***

      [SARGERAS]: *looks around*

      [SARGERAS]: Chat empty?

      [SARGERAS]: ...

      [SARGERAS]: I have eaten

      [SARGERAS]: the plums

      [SARGERAS]: that were in

      [SARGERAS]: the icebox

      [SARGERAS]: and which

      [SARGERAS]: you were probably

      [SARGERAS]: saving

      [SARGERAS]: for breakfast

      [SARGERAS]: Forgive me

      [SARGERAS]: they were delicious

      [SARGERAS]: so sweet

      [SARGERAS]: and so cold

      [SARGERAS]: ;-)

          • User "SARGERAS" has left the chat.***
      The Scourge Vent Recordings(15:54)

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