mel_gibson.jpgIf only there were some sort of objective criteria for measuring success in Hollywood...oh, wait, there is: money. Somewhat adorably, the Forbes Celebrity 100 pretends that other stuff matters as well, but if web hits really counted, Paris Hilton's vagina would have been Number One with a doggy-styling bullet. Since the cash eventually wins out, Mel Gibson triumphs on the back of his graphic torture of his Lord and Savior. Maybe one day, when Kabbalahists rule the world, Guy Ritchie will ascend to the top spot on the strength of his loving big-screen depiction of the disembowling of Madonna.