Friday, September 18, 2009

Interview With A HoseMaster, Part III

What are you looking for in a wine?



Rudy enjoyed many a wet laboratory.

Are there any grape varieties you don't care for?






What's the most difficult job in the wine business?



Bloggers, these are our brothers!


Samantha Dugan said...

Okay so I have to veto the photos, no one in this business looks like either of those. I do however have a picture of Gary V. in a too small thong, (my eamil is a scary place) so you should have consulted with me before posting. Premature posting is rampant in the blog world, they have creams, (they don't work..ahem, I'm told) and with blogging becoming the "thing that all the cool kids are doing" a pill is on its way, but if your post takes you more than 4 hours you may want to consult Dr Vino.

Gruner is an inside joke, sommeliers are laughing their asses off. "No you don't want a Riesling or Alsatian Pinot Gris. You want Gruner Veltliner, it's all the rage and yes it is worth $90.00 a bottle"...snicker, "saps".

So in the interest of the "Interview with The HoseMaster" I want in on this action...there's some shit I wanna know too.

1) Have you ever met a blogger you didn't hate?

2) Do you swallow?

3) If you do is there any wine you could not?

4) How many people did you have to pay to link and unlink your site to get you to the perfect #69 sweet spot in the top 100 wine blogs?

5) Where might one pick up one of those lab coats to skate along that palate of yours?

6) Some people might think you are an evil you dig that?

7) Brix Chicks, hot or not?

8) Are you Alder's alter ego?

9) People often elude to your, "blog squeeze" well do you actually know Puff Daddy?

10) If I had something I wanted you to taste so you accept samples?

Puff Daddy said...

Answer to No. 9: Not as well as he knows you, Sam. I mean, so far, he has not tried to get into MY lab coat.

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

Sorry for the delayed response--I was busy having my palate cleansed. Stanley Steamer has a deal right now. You know, it feels good to have myself shagged.

Answers, though I normally refuse interviews, just for YOU.

1. I don't hate bloggers. I hate what they write, if you call that writing.

2. I don't swallow, I'm all about gags.

3. See above

4. I didn't have to do any of that--I have perfect 69 Karma.

5. My palate is always open for you to skate on, lab coat or no lab coat. Is the plural of lab labia?

6. Perv, yes; Evil, no.

7. The Brix Chicks? Hot? Maybe not, but they are a ton of fun, on a good day.

8. Alder is the Mister Rogers of wine blogs. I'm the Lewis Carroll. Which rabbit hole do you choose?

9. My Gorgeous Samantha, I hate it when you're jealous. You're my One and Only.

10. I accept samples but do not promise a positive review. I do promise I will spend a lot of time with it in my mouth.

Samantha Dugan said...

When I was little I thought Mr. Rogers was creepy and I had a crush of Oscar the Grouch so looks like I'll be chasing your little white rabbit down whichever hole you lead me.

ZinfanGirl said...

You are hilarious. Cheers to the back label writers!

Ron Washam, HMW said...

Thanks ZinfanGirl,

Please stop by and chime in as often as you like. We're friendly folk around here. Good luck with your new blog.

The Neverking said...

Ok... I know nothing about wine (perhaps I should start a blog out in California?) but my parents (who you recently helped tour Napa Valley) turned me on to you. And while I can't claim to understand half of what they tell me about wine, let alone all that you write, I am hooked. Oh... and I disagree with Samantha, keep posting the pix.

The Neverking