If I were boss

This week's problem:
A senior partner has asked me to deputise for him on an overseas sales drive. I am flattered but the timing of the visit clashes with the birthday of our twins. I am worried that by turning the assignment down it will jeopardise my chances of advancement. Should I go or should I stay?

Jennifer Rawsthorn says: "I would encourage this person to have an open and honest conversation with the senior partner. Here at Nokia for example all of our people policies and practices stem from the four Nokia values, one of which is "respect for the individual". We would encourage employees not just to flag up the problem, such as the clash with a major family event, but suggest a solution or, better still, maybe a couple of possible solutions. Then a senior manager and the person concerned would discuss the situation, balancing the importance of the sales event with personal commitments and thrash out the best solution to the predicament. Nokia provides managers with a framework which can help them to better understand the individuals' motivational forces. This way we can reassure employees that rewards such as promotions will be based on fair performance targets and not on personal preferences.
· Jennifer Rawsthorn is head of HR at Nokia UK and Ireland.

Siobhan Hamilton-Philips says: Consider factors such as how close you are to promotion, what's your relationship with your boss and how often these sales drives occur. You may also want to consider the overall impression you have been making recently. If you are hard working and conscientious, with a track record of good performance and commitment, you could explain the situation to your senior manager. They wouldn't have given you the responsibility if they didn't trust and respect your work. Not going on the sales drive is unlikely therefore to jeopardise your chances for advancement. However, in my judgment you should go on the sales drive and make plans to celebrate the twins' birthday upon your return.
· Siobhan Hamilton-Philips is the chief executive of Career Psychology Ltd.

James Towner says: "There really isn't much information to go on here. How old are the twins? How frequently do these sales trips or other similar opportunities arise? How ambitious are you? What is the company culture like? You need to answer these and other questions for yourself, but most importantly you need to understand your personal priorities and values. Balancing work and life commitments is something that is frequently talked about but few of us make a conscious effort to achieve the right balance. This is an opportunity for you to do just that. If attending your twins' birthday is very important to you, sit down with the senior partner concerned and explain the situation. Tell them how much you value the opportunity and would like to go, but unfortunately the timing is wrong. Talk to them about future opportunities and make it very clear that you are interested in taking up such opportunities in the future. If you are working for a forward thinking employer, this approach will, I am sure, be respected.
· James Towner, a council member of the Chartered Management Institute is planning & performance manager at Thames Water.

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