Eau Yes! How 10 Celebs Might Smell

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  • meryl
    Meryl Streep
    The obvious association here is the smell of metal: gold-plated, of course, reminiscent of the infinite awards Meryl has accrued. But, here's the thing: Nobody wants to smell like a cold, hard statue, but everyone wants a part of the Lady Streep. We'd need something that manages to appeal to the film aesthete and the rom-com viewer alike, while still retaining a pristine, controlled, and clean aroma.
    Notes: cashmere, orchid, and oud wood — with unrivaled sillage

    Photo: Henry Lamb/Photowire/BEImages
  • Prince-2-(1)
    Is it possible to bottle sweat? Would that even be legal? Because any cologne that Prince would endorse would have to evoke the scent of perspiration. Not stinky, post-gym sweat, obviously, but the sweat of The Great Purple One, which came off of a lavender-dusted body as a product of a mind-melting guitar solo.
    Notes: lavender, musk, Purple Rain

    Photo: Courtesy of Samsung
  • zach
    Zach Galifianakis
    No way, no how would Zach G. ever put his name on a fragrance, but imagining his own personal smell gives us a good laugh. The goofy, self-deprecating comedian has his own charming brand of awkwardness, which might translate pretty well on an olfactory level. Masculine, flannel-friendly woodsy scents might mingle with the ridiculous — hamburger, perhaps?
    Notes: pine, artisanal IPA, chili flavoring, chewing tobacco

    Photo: Jim Smeal/BEIMages
  • Michelle Obama
    It is but a fantasy to see a scent with Michelle Obama's name on it, but oh man, how good would such a perfume be? It would smell as accessible as every other celebrity-endorsed perfume, but somehow better because the First Lady is wearing it. Heck, it would be made sustainably, on American soil, and might even be edible (but nutritious).
    Notes: wheatgrass, roses, organic honey, and a soupçon of diplomatic grace

    Photo: Rex USA
  • Anna Wintour
    The artistic director of Condé Nast would never let her personal "brand" be diluted by putting it on a product. But let's imagine, as an exercise, if the right CFDA-endorsed designer crafted a bottle, the finest ingredients were procured, and an exclusive retailer agreed to sell it: What would Anna Wintour smell like? Classic English countryside, and perhaps a lot of luxury.
    Notes: ambergris, myrrh, a hint of paper from the September Vogue, and icy disdain for any foolishness whatsoever

    Photo: Rex USA
  • Kanye West
    Rappers making scents isn't a new thing. Yet, Kanye is nothing if not a rara avis. While he doesn't do typical endorsements, he does have a fashion line and a shoe line. So, a fragrance? Well, that might be a little plebeian for Kanye, but it certainly wouldn't be unexpected — especially since his girlfriend is the queen of licensing. Yet, like the man behind it, a bonafide Kanye cologne would certainly need to smell out of the ordinary. It would be one of the best fragrances of all time, we're sure.
    Notes: pepper, cedarwood, clove, and kold hard Kardashian kash

    Photo: Rex USA
  • David Bowie
    What wouldn't the scent of David Bowie smell like? You've got the glamour of Ziggy Stardust, the rock'n'roll of Aladdin Sane, the flamboyance of The Thin White Duke, or the refined gentility of his more mature years. A cologne endorsed by Bowie would ch-ch-change as it was worn — maybe start out with a spicy intensity and then allow a floral to be revealed underneath.
    Notes: cinnamon, lilies, the faintest echo of tobacco, and brilliance

    Photo: Charles Sykes/ Rex USA
  • Lena Dunham
    Lena Dunham has never claimed to have it all together, which is perhaps some of her charm. Her "everywoman" quality isn't quite suited for a Photoshopped-to-perfection campaign ad, but instead, an approachable everyday fragrance. Or, at least one that smells of a late-night ice cream run, coffee, and enormous success. It's sure to be a love-it-or-hate-it affair, but either way, you know people will talk about it.
    Notes: Vanilla, citrus, notebook paper, late-night ice cream runs, and confessional tweets.

    Photo: David Fisher/Rex USA
  • Jennifer Lawrence Yes, she is the face of Dior, and yes, at some point in what is certain to be a long and storied career, J. Law will likely secure a fragrance deal. But that day is not yet upon us, so let us imagine what her very own scent would be.
    Notes: summer rain, gardenia, grass, soap, and unflinching honesty

    Photo: Stewart Cook/ Rex USA
  • Maggie Smith
    We'd be shocked the day a mature woman like Dame Maggie Smith would land a fragrance deal — which is a shame, because we'd buy whatever she was selling. Her signature scent would be stately but warm, quirky but versatile. Who wouldn't want Eau de Professor McGonagall?
    Notes: Bergamot, ginger, violet, foxglove, and cranberry scones

    Photo: Richard Young/ Rex USA