Sharma, James Bond Sharma; shaken and altered

December 9, 2012, 12:11 am IST in Management Musings | Economy | ET

For James Bond purists Skyfall with Daniel Craig was painful at many points. Craig has a British accent and has blond hair; something that Scottish Bond would never have. He drives an Aston Martin DB5 after a long time but also stands beside a Jaguar and sits in the navigator’s seat in a Land Rover, which today are Indian cars manufactured by Tata Motors. While it does the Indian heart a world of good and seeks out Ratan Tata for a sanguine high five, it does dampen the Bond loyalist to see modernist overtures in the originally oh-so cold war plot.


The Bond stories were heartfelt renditions of the unequal fight against Nazi Germany. They were read and later watched to be savoured by people who had undergone hardships in every part of the world owing to the Second World War. The thirties and forties were united in one dream – to see Hitler and his forces humbled.


Indians in the sixties and seventies saw Bond as a representation of the British values hardened through the war and refined through British royalty. A Scotsman loyal to the bone to the British monarch was something to be admired; something not unlike the brown Indian being loyal to the gymkhana club and its values.


However, when Brosnan Bond climbed into a Z4 Roadster, purists gagged with disbelief as Bond would not have touched anything made by impure and untouchable German hands. Later they took ‘politically correct’ a couple of steps further and made M, the laconic, almost disarmingly bureaucratic secret service boss into a woman.


Good lord, Bond also sniffles in ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’ released in 1997, when he confronts his lady boss who had given him up in exchange for another spy. He is tortured after being left behind for more than a year. A sniffling Scotsman, who is a commander in the Royal Navy? Oh, Jesus. The character even kisses his boss on the forehead and sheds tears in ‘Skyfall’ when M in a skirt, kicks the bucket. What next? M baking apple pie, tart and muffins?


In the latest Bond, ‘Skyfall’ the spy does not even drink or smoke too much and the middle aged audience who once enjoyed Sean Connery, another iconic Scotsman, is always on tenterhooks as they feel Bond may suddenly apply for an health club, a vegan club membership or entry to a organic food commune. Yes, things have become that bad.


The lady spy who partners Bond in Skyfall asks for a desk job after she nails Bond with a misfired shot from her rifle. Eh? A field agent is supposedly so jaded that he or she always wants to be near the daily danger, right? Well, not in this world at all. It seems, MI6 is just another ministry where one can opt for a desk job where one would fit in more in one’s slacks and tank tops rather than get out and avenge your partner’s wrong doers. Gotta care about the quality time at home; got to apply for a nine to five. Nien?


The new Q, who is a young fellow, also takes part in operations. Ridiculous? Yes. This is nearly that point where one wants to snap off ties with the series and start watching the likes of Ajay Devgan, Akshay Kumar, Chow Yun Fat and Barbara Streisand’s retirement films.


As the Indian economy embraces modern supply chain with organized corporatised retail and the United Kingdom gets invaded from within by chicken tikka and curry, this may be just the time to make it even more comical and politically correct. How about an Indian Bond? James could retire and the label of double O seven could pass on to an Indian immigrant from Southall who grew up on his Punjabi grandmama’s charpoy and lap. That would go wonderfully well with the Tata Motors made Jaguar and Land Rover. Not a bad idea, eh?

DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.


Debasish Roy Debasish Roy


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