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backintown writes:

in response to crc:

First, I stand by my original post, as in, it is ALL about RESPONSIBILITY.
Second, and unfortunately, I need to inform you of a well documented fact that cannot be changed by you nor I: That is, that a child who is past 12 has already set themselves up in life and for the most part have demonstrated their character and future to a large degree. If you think that in one million years, you could change that child’s character in life had she lived and went forward, regrettably I must inform you, that you are sadly mistaken! There is not any chance, that that child’s view on life and her interpretation of Responsibility could ever be changed! It was already wayyyyyyy past that point in her life. Now, do not beat me up on this, even though a lot of people would not like to believe it, it is well documented and has been proven hundreds of million times over! I know by your posts, that you are not going to believe me, but I still had to try my best. Sort of like the Horse to water and drink statement! The child’s future on which direction she was going and who she would follow were pretty much made up by the time she was 12. You nor I, nor anyone else on this planet were ever going to change that!

Where is this documented proof you speak of? Please, PLEASE post just one substantiated fact- just ONE site, or ONE book, or ONE magazine article that attests to these hundreds of millions of cases.

Way past that point in her life? She was freaking twelve years old. TWELVE. She was nowhere near "set up" in her life nor had she developed her character!

Kids go through phases. They all do. Some phases are good, some are bad- some kids come out of these phases improved and some don't come out of them or if they do, they are damaged. You cannot judge or determine how a twelve year old will eventually turn out as an adult by what they did today, or yesterday, or what they may do tomorrow. And you cannot assume that because a child/tween/teenager commits a crime or is involved in a questionable act that their parent(s) are negligent or uncaring or uninterested. And parents, do not assume that you know everything your child does or know everywhere that you child goes or every one that your child associates with.

When I was twelve, I already drank alcohol and smoked. By the time I reached high school, I would sneak out of the house on a regular basis- my mother completely unaware of where I was or who I was with. I skipped school. I went to school under the influence. I would "borrow" the car when I still didn't have a license. Some friends were older, some were younger, but the majority were the same age.

But I was also an honor student. I made straight As. I was raised by a strict, single mother who unfortunately had to work two jobs to support her family. I also went to church regularly until I was 17. None of this kept me from wanting to have fun- be it legal or illegal. My mother would bust me some times...whether it was because the cops brought me back home or she happened to wake up in the middle of the night...and I would be disciplined. This would not stop me from trying to have more fun.

I graduated from high school. I graduated from college. I paid every cent of tuition from my own loans or grants. I have a career. I own a home. As do the majority of those friends that used to party with me. We did OK for a bunch of twelve year olds who drank and smoked and would sneak around late at night...
