Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 6 USERS: A

And it's not even about the Daleks, here: It's that if the Doctor euthanizes this STARWHALE! for no reason whatsoever, then the unavoidable consequence is that he can never call himself the Doctor again! NEVER! Never mind that he's done worse, extincted the Rachnoss and did something truly horrible and nightmarish to the Family of Blood and murdered his entire race, no. That's just how high the stakes are this week. You can tell by the music. And the only reason this is anemic and manipulative and queer is that even when it's happening you know that we'll never mention it again.

When these shiny iDaleks reappear, they'll be like, "Got your nose!" and all of this whining and screaming about how THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT YOU GUYS will all fade away, because it's not. And that's lame, but really what's lame is that it doesn't need to be. This could have been a neat story, but once again it's THE MOST BIGGEST THING THAT EVER OH MY GOD. And there is zero reason for that, narrative or character or otherwise. It's a tic, meant simply to bring a tear to the eye and keep us tuning in. Of all the Moffat tics, that's the one that disgusts me the most, because it's seriously not necessary.

Craft a compelling story or don't, tell-don't-show if you feel like it, but stop shoving down our throats that this has never happened and will never happen again and thus we are privy to history being made, and just focus on telling an honest-to-God story. Master that. Because either way, we'll tune in. Because we're not stupid, firstly, and secondly we would do anyhow, because we're capable of believing. The Doctor taught us that. Stop being prolefeed, and start feeding us something. British people are supposed to be smarter than this, or else what's the point of us pretentious Americans gulping down every single thing you think or say? Case in point:

"No! This is my best chance ever! The last of the Daleks! I can rid the Universe of you, once and for all!" The Daleks talk him through it -- "fucking dare you," essentially -- and he pisses and moans and whines and barks and rolls over and plays dead and screams, and he's all, "If I let you go, you'll be stronger than ever. A new race of Daleks!" Forever, this happens, with the choice being explained and then reiterated once again, over and over: "Then choose, Doctor! Destroy the Daleks or save the Earth. Begin countdown of Oblivion Continuum! Choose, Doctor! Choose! Choose!" That's literally what they say.


Doctor Who




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