The Inbetweeners
This week on The Inbetweeners: double dates, swearing in front of the parents, and Jay's latest fantasies. Photograph: Channel 4 TV


John Plunkett's episode two blog

So we're driving to the Lake District with my then (sort of) girlfriend and her (very) Christian parents when I suggest we put on the latest Leonard Cohen album. Why on earth would I want to do that?

Now I'm aware the lyrics are unlikely to meet with their 100% approval but for some reason I let the tape carry on playing anyway and we drift inexorably towards the second verse of a song called The Future: "Give me crack and anal sex, take the only tree that's left, stuff it up the hole in your culture." To say that the cassette was ejected on the "x" of sex doesn't quite do justice to her dad's reaction time.

I only mention this because Simon suffers an unfortunate first meeting with the parents of his girlfriend, Tara, beginning when he says "crap" ("Mum and dad don't like swearing Simon") and ending when they spot the "Honk if you want a blow job" bumper sticker attached by Jay to the back of his car. "What did I say? Oh, crap. Is crap a swear word? Crap?" And then: "It's not like I'm obsessed with blow jobs or cocks. Honestly, I'm not."

Other than that, Simon's relationship with Tara appears to be going rather well. Their attempt to set Will up with her friend Kerry (Simon: "She has given her last three boyfriends blowjobs." Will: "Why didn't you say?") rather less so. It doesn't help that she is at least a foot taller than Will, and his efforts to do the right thing – he really wants a blowjob but he doesn't really like her – backfire spectacularly when he dumps her at Neil's 18th birthday party.

"I've done nothing wrong!" he tells the entire (not very big) gathering. "Kerry hands out blowjobs like they're going out of fashion and by all accounts I'm one of the only people to have ... turned down sex from the Empire State Building." It's a scene as excruciating as any I've seen in Peep Show.

The third episode tapped into plenty of teenage memories. The agony of the cinema double date, the horror of finding enough people to come to your birthday party – for some of us this never goes away – and the weird excitement of seeing your teacher outside of school (and why you shouldn't yell his name at him).

It had some great visual gags – Will and Kerry going up the shopping centre escalator, Simon being dressed up like an idiot – and some top throwaway lines, such as Neil saying he has to go shopping because he is "nearly out of pants". But it will always be remembered for the moment Jay clambers aboard Neil's motorbike, drives straight into the garage wall and headbutts open the office door (apparently this was an unintended bonus). Okay, so it's a bit Del Boy falls through the bar but it had me in tears more than once. One for the top 10 Inbetweeners moments ever? Perhaps we should save that discussion for a later date.

Best line: "Pe-pe-pe-pep-pe-pee-pee-pee! Pe-pe-pe-pep-pe-pee-pee-pee!" Doesn't exactly come across in print – and I have no idea how you spell it – but the noise made by Jay and Neil every time Simon mentions Tara. "Just because no one cares what Tara says or does, don't let that stop you mentioning her every 40 seconds." Simon's indignation is hilarious.

Jay's fantasy count: five more takes it up to 20, including his previously unknown stunt rider experience, his dad's friendship with Lance Armstrong, why women aren't superbike champs, the "suck job" he got from his cleaner when he was 12, and his flare for Championship Manager: "I got so good at it the FA offered me a role in the England set-up."