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    Bitch-Back! Three Cheers for Daniel Radcliffe

    Daniel Radcliffe Steven Klein for Details Magazine

    Dear Ted:
    How lovely of a person is Daniel Radcliffe for his support of the LGBT community at this very heartbreaking time? It gives hope that there still good role models out there who believe in fairness and equality, even if we're surrounded by the ignorant 50 Cent's of the world. If more people were open-minded and respectful, the world would be a much better place.

    Dear Wizard Wonder:
    What's especially amazing is that Dan has been a long-time supporter of the community and hasn't let that status waver despite people inevitably questioning his own sexuality (though the curiosity is moot at this point). See, you can be a gay-rights activist and confident with your sexuality at the same time. Crazy, huh?

    Dear Ted:
    Wish I could get Cass Stimulata's nasty story off my mind...but it's so gross that I just have to know more. Is Cass's husband/boyfriend also famous? Does he know the real reason she isn't getting pregnant?

    TWITTER: Follow Ted!

    Dear Poopfully Concerned:
    Yes, Cass' significant other is considered famous. And I'd be surprised if he knew everything there is to know about her past ways.

    Dear Ted:
    Your words were very eloquent regarding the tragedies happening with gay teens. It's heartbreaking. It has me wondering what Butter Pussy has been up to. Still considering coming out of the closet? It seems like an appropriate time for a megacelebrity to make such an announcement.
    —Lisa Marie

    Dear Buttered Up:
    Wish she would, but the courage B.P. had back in the day has wavered since then. Isn't that always the case? Huge shame.

    Dear Ted:
    Your comment section is definitely an interesting slice of fanatic followers. They love you. They hate you. They love Robert Pattinson. They hate blond women who hang out with Rob. The most interesting thing to me is how the fans dissect Rob and Kristen Stewart's relationship. If there's a PDA, it must be for show. But if there's no touching, it's because they split up. The couple is obviously cool as hell, but do you see them taking some extended time off from movie making to just be a "normal" couple?

    Dear Robsten Redux:
    Thing is, babe, I've been saying it all along: They're not a normal couple. Far from it, actually. First there's the fact that they're some of the biggest superstars in the world right now. As for putting a pause on their careers to focus on the relaysh, don't count on that. They're both très career focused, which is part of the reason they work so well together.

    Dear Ted:
    So what has Strawberry Snort 'Em been up to lately? Anything of interest?
    —Rescue Pup Owner

    Dear Berry Blunders:
    She's been keeping her nose clean—extra, super squeaky clean. Relatively speaking, that is.

    Dear Ted:
    I don't get it. Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene went from being PR to a proper couple in your column in just under a week. So which is it? Are they genuinely as happy to be together as they seem, or is this just Joe and Demi Lovato all over again?

    Dear Going Gronas:
    Sure, they're happy to be together—why not?—but that doesn't mean I believe they're jumping each other's bones every chance they get. Ya know, especially when the paparazzi aren't there.

    Dear Ted:
    Considering his rapid rise to fame in the past two years, you don't talk about Alexander Skarsgård all that much. Any new gossip on the sexy Swede? Has he dumped Kate Bosworth yet?

    Dear Alexander the Great:
    Trust, doll, I talk about A.Skars every chance I can get, but that's the problem. The dude—as much as you may think otherwise—does actually prefer laying low. Almost makes me cry, 'cause I know what kind of naughty potential he has.

    Dear Ted:
    You recently said that most of your Blind Vicers were A-listers, with the occasional B-lister. Whereabouts on the scale would you place naughty old Moisty Mohr, and would you say that many of your B.V.s are less famous than him?

    Dear Makin' A List:
    If Mr. Mohr has thrown you off your Vice game, trust, he was a pretty big exception in the grand scheme of the Blind Vice archive. Moisty was on the way lesser-talked-about spectrum of the monikered celebs, but the dish was so juicy I just had to spill.

    Dear Ted:
    I'm like 10 years late, but is there any juicy information about what went on behind the scenes on Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

    Dear Vamps of Yesteryear:
    Sarah Michelle Gellar
    ? Vice. David Boreanaz? Vice. Just those two alone stirred up some juicy goss between takes. And that's only two members of a pretty large cast.

    Dear Ted:
    In light of your latest chapter on Toothy, I think I am now almost as confused about what Toothy is up to as Toothy is of his own sexuality! If Tooth is choosing to secretly hook up with chicks away from prying eyes, I struggle to understand how this will bolster the faux public hetero image pushed by his handlers. What makes you so certain that this is "fake babe-nailing" and that T2 does not genuinely have the hots for both boys and girls à la Nevis Divine? And I guess your comment on Grey Goose being "over it" means that sadly, the love story between T.T. and G.G. is on the outs. So who gets Baby Tile?

    Dear Tile-Phile:
    Whew! So many queries, hon-pie. In order you mentioned: You are not alone. It won't. Because I know. Not yet. TBD.

    Dear Ted:
    Regarding your remark to Sophia Bush about getting naked for PETA. I hereby start an online petition to have you, Ted Casablanca, drop trou. It's for the animals.

    Dear Petitioner:
    Two things, sweetheart: First, thank you. Second, you'd better start this campaign before I stop smoking, 'cause, once I do, no Reese's Peanut Butter Cup will be safe.