DailyCandy Wants You Fat

Like an anorexic best friend, DailyCandy gets no greater satisfaction than the sight of you stuffing your face. Mmmmm doesn't that fattening, carbohydrate-laden food look tasty? Mmmmmm don't you want some? But you're so skinny! You're probably skinnier than me!

Empty calories after the jump.

DailyCandy Everywhere thinks that music works better than pills for easing your problems. Ha. Fools.
DailyCandy Dallas reminds you that nuts are a healthy snack. Especially when they're coated with butter, sugar, and chocolate!
DailyCandy Dallas wants you to eat yummy chocolates even if, like, you'll then have "a long, long way to run to work those calories off." But you're soooooo undernourished right now.
http://www.dailycandy.com/article.jsp?Ar...">DailyCandy London called you a "lardarse." Right after they said you're "committing social suicide" and "have pubes down to your ankles." Ouch.
DailyCandy Los Angeles thinks that an entire store devoted to 70's pool party style is a meaningful contribution to society.
DailyCandy New York wants you to become a lardarse and is pushing a late-night cookie delivery service.
DailyCandy San Francisco thinks you get off on adorning your body with 18-karat gold and black diamond animal heads. "Yeah, they're on the pricey side," DailyCandy concedes of the taxidermy-inspired pins. How pricey, they do not say. We are sooooooooooo tempted!