Ask E. Jean: Are You Too Sweet?

How to be taken seriously when you have a voice like a hummingbird plucking a viola

Gregg Delman

Dear E. Jean:  I was hired straight out of MIT grad school for a nuclear engineering position with the government. I work mainly with military men, mechanics, and engineers; a woman needs very thick skin just to be around them! I'm smart and confident, but I was born with an extremely soft voice and very feminine mannerisms. So I'm criticized for sounding too "sweet."

How do I make myself come across more "manly"? With people constantly pointing out my girlishness, I can't help but smile, say, "I'm sorry," and add an anxious giggle. Awful! I know I need to be more commanding, especially for the promotion I'm working toward. Can I change my natural voice and sweet disposition and get tough with these rugged guys?—Nuclear Meltdown

Miss Meltdown:  I asked you to call, you called, I listened, and now I know what F. Scott Fitzgerald meant when he said Daisy's voice was "full of money." Honey, you could make a mint. A movie director like Nora Ephron or Ivan Reitman could turn your dilemma (MIT cream puff becomes macho marvel and engineers romance) into a big-budget romantic comedy.

Your voice is a wonder—like a hummingbird plucking a viola. So, yes, I understand why you're worried about impressing "military men, mechanics, and engineers." Get a coach. (In the movie, the coach would be played by Jennifer Aniston, who, I predict, will win the Oscar.) If presidential candidates can be coached in assertive body-gesturing and eyebrow-gluing before each televised debate, you can hire an executive or media coach and work on the essentials: presenting your ideas with intellectual force, removing the giggle, and building unflinching confidence. Good luck and see you on set!

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