'True Blood' season 4, episode 3 recap: Adventures in vampire babysitting

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on July 10, 2011 at 10:05 PM, updated July 11, 2011 at 2:02 AM
true-blood-season-4-ep-3-pam.jpgPam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) learns that Eric is not exactly himself.

Last week on "True Blood": Jason gets prepped for stud service, Jessica gives in to temptation, Marnie gets ambitious and Eric gets a load off his mind.

Pan up Eric Northman's long, lean body, clad only in tight jeans. Clearly not himself, he has just asked Sookie why she smells so good, of honey and wheat and sunlight. The fangs come out. "I am not in the mood," Sookie snarls. "What are you?" he asks wonderingly, leaning in. She drives off, then stops, reverses, but he's gone. She sighs. Eric sweeps into the car like a gust of wind and grabs hold. Credits!


What does he remember? He can see images of a cold-eyed Marnie, reaching into him, emptying his soul. He sees into Marnie, and seems to realize there is someone possessing her. He remembers the circle, and the chanting. Sookie looks lost. "Okay," she says uncertainly. She'll help him, but he is not allowed to touch or bite or her. Eric promises.

Pam is eating when Sookie calls Fangtasia. She tells Pam that Eric is with her, and he doesn't seem to remember who he is or how he got there. Pam doesn't finish her dinner. Sookie is cleaning off Eric's feet when Pam bursts into the house. When she sees that Eric is not himself, she tells Sookie that she has to hide him, and that the witches must be responsible. Sookie: "Witches? Oh great. Now I have to deal with witches?" Pam tells Sookie that if she tells Bill about Eric's memory loss, she will rip her to pieces. That sends Eric into action -- he throws Pam across the room. "Be nice to her," Eric orders Pam. Sookie smiles. Pam explains that she thinks that Bill set Eric up because Eric has tasted Sookie and know what she is. Eric is thrilled to discover he and Sookie have a past. "Technically, you fang-raped me," she tells him. Sookie demands money for babysitting Eric. As dawn approaches, Sookie checks out Eric's hidey-hole, which has a sweet fur blanket on his bed. "You live here in my house?" Eric says, looking around. (Yeah, Sookie didn't want him to know that, but Pam spilled the beans.) He asks Sookie if she wants to be his, and she politely declines. He thanks her, then asks again, "What are you?" "I'm really sick of being asked that question is what I am."




We see a YouTube video via night vision cam of a vampire feeding on a woman in dark alley. The vamp runs off, and the yahoos with the camera and the woman they've "saved" direct the viewer to their website, "Wake up America, before we're all dead!," one of them says. The girl: "Seriously." Pull back, and we see Bill is watching it with the vamp from the video. "It's clearly entrapment," the vamp defends himself. Irrelevant, rules Bill. In this post-Russell Edgington world we keep hearing about, being filmed feeding on a human warrants the "true death" penalty. The vamp wants to appeal to the Authority, but there are no appeals in the Kingdom of Louisiana. The vamp is being taken away as Jessica shows up. Bill seems pleased to see her. She says she needs some Advil for Hoyt, but Bill sees that's not really why she came here. She admits she fed on another man. Bill immediately says he hopes she wasn't filmed. No, she's not stupid, just unfaithful. Bill tells her she has to confess to Hoyt: "Vamp up. If you love him, you'll tell the truth." They cuddle on the couch as the poor condemned vamp screams from the bowls of the mansion.

Jessica does tell Hoyt the truth ... for about 25 seconds. Hoyt is watching news about Steve Newlin's disappearance six months ago when Jessica returns. He's holding a scary-looking gray baby doll and says he found it in their bed again, even though they've both been trying to get rid of it. He thinks someone is messing with them. I'm sure this will be important later. Jessica admits that she fed on another guy tonight. "I was hungry for something for different," she says. After all, doesn't Hoyt look at other women? "No I don't, because other women don't exist for me," he says. Jessica chickens out of the whole truth thing and glamours him -- forget what she just said, it never happened. (You "Buffy" fans: shades of Willow and Tara, right? This isn't going to bite Jessica in the butt or anything.) "I'm the luckiest man in the world," Hoyt says.

true-blood-season-4-ep-3-sam.jpgSam Merlotte (Sam Trammell) has a run-in with a hopped-up Sheriff Andy Bellefleur.

Jason's phone is going off; he can't get to it, of course. It's Andy, wondering where Jason is, and confessing that he needs help with his V problem. He starts to recite the serenity prayer, then digs out his vial of V and ingests a drop. He's parked outside Merlotte's, and just then Sam shows up. Andy irrationally starts in on Sam about his overgrown trees and garbage on the property. When Sam points out nicely that nothing is out of code, Andy flies into a rage and throws a punch and misses, then pulls out his gun. "I am the law, and you will not forget this," he says, backing up toward his car, then fumbling with keys before driving away.

Sookie shows up at Alcide's door because ... we can't let Joe Manganiello's weight-training go to waste? Although we don't see the were's iconic abs, so I'm not quite sure why we're paying him a visit. Ostensibly it's because Sookie wants him to babysit to Eric. But then a new and improved (or at least sober and deloused) Debbie Pelt shows up. She cleaned up her act and got back together with Alcide and owes Sookie a big apology, for like, trying to kill her and all. Also, does Sookie want a Vienna sausage? No, Sookie does not. She splits, and Alcide runs outside after her. He admits he should have told Sookie about Debbie when she called him earlier, but he was afraid she wouldn't come. He's also concerned when he hears Eric is staying with Sookie.

At Maxine Fortenberry's house, she's working with Tommy on his reading while watching the Freaky Dolls For Sale channel. While Maxine spends her dwindling nest egg on mail-order dolls, Tommy answers the door. Someone wants to lease Maxine's natural gas rights. Tommy shuts the door behind him and pretends he's Maxine's son, and is able to bargain the guy up to $12,000 an acre for five years and 20 percent of whatever they extract. But he doesn't share this info with Maxine.

And back at the Hot Shot Ramada, Crystal is still cooing to a feverish Jason. She tells him this is the purpose he's always been search for, to save the Hot Shot werepanthers from extinction. The girls there have a hard time getting pregnant and keeping their babies, and the one that live, well, "they ain't much to brag about." Calling him Ghost Daddy, she tends to his wounds with some sort of mud poultice, and then feeds him a pill ... Mexican Viagra. Next we see Crystal riding a barely conscious Jason. He sort of comes to, and tells her she's a crazy hillbilly junkie, and he wishes he'd never met her. Pan over to the door, and there is a line of women waiting for their turn. One is carrying a sad bouquet of flowers.

Tara seeks out Sookie's help -- she wants Sookie to use her influence with Eric to get him to forgive Lafayette, and fills Sookie in on the whole Wiccan thing. Sookie lies, saying she hasn't seen Eric, but tells the truth in that she thinks Lafayette has nothing to worry about. Sam comes by and sees Tara and invites her for a shot of tequila. He tells her he's a little hurt that she fled town after he told her he was a shifter; but she explains she was just traumatized. He invites her to stay at his place -- nudge, nudge -- but she says nicely that she's seeing someone back in New Orleans. He admits he's seeing someone too. "Do her a favor and stop flirting with me," Tara says pointedly. Jesus shows up and says that Lafayette's car is gone, so Jesus and Tara take off to find Lafayette, who, we soon find out is back in the Fangtasia dungeon with an enraged Pam (who is wearing a fierce denim jacket with studded shoulders, BTW). Before Pam can do her damage, Tara and Jesus come down, Tara pointing a gun with wooden bullets at her. Pam gives them 24 hours to bring Marnie to her so she can reverse the spell. "If you don't, I'll eat, (bleep) and kill all three of you." And she would, too.

Bill is at a restaurant waiting impatiently on Eric when Portia Bellefleur returns to the table. She has a proposal. In a very dry lawyer-like way, she tells him she wants to jump his bones. Bill is amused, but wants her to know that he could never love her. "I accept that." "Check please." And they're off.

Jessica has given Arlene's baby the scary gray baby doll. He likes it. Arlene gives the baby a look but doesn't burst any blood vessels in her eye, thanks goodness. And Tommy shows up at Merlotte's with news about Maxine's natural gas. He proposes that he and Sam buy out Maxine's property without telling her about the claim and then split the natural gas money. He is shocked when Sam tells him he couldn't do that to Maxine. "You're choosing Maxine over your own flesh and blood?" He tells Sam he hates him and stomps out of there. Big baby.

Marnie is by herself trying to commune with the spirit that enabled her to mentally defang Eric earlier. She offers her blood, cutting her wrist with a knife and letting the blood drip into a goblet. "Oh spirit, I ask you to invade me. I will be your instrument on this plane to utilize as you see fit. ... I want to know why I was born with my foot in another world. Make me your servant." She slashes again suddenly at her wrist, then gets up. In a mirror, we see a woman in an old-fashioned muslin gown watching her -- it's the woman she channeled to take down Eric.

Back at Sookie's house, she's reading a Charlaine Harris novel -- I believe it's "Grave Secret," the fourth and last in her Harper Connelly series, which is worth reading -- when a flash of light illuminates the room for a second. She goes to the front door, and it's Claudine, who wants to take her away to fairyland/gremlinville. Nuh-uh, Sookie says. "We can keep you safe!" Claudine says. "When have you ever kept me safe?," Sookie wants to know. Apparently the night the Rattrays attacked her in the parking lot, Claudine was there to pull the chain extra-tight around Mac Rattray's neck. (Oh, is this like footprints in the sand?) Just then Eric returns, smells full-blown fae and starts chowing down on Claudine. Sookie begs him to stop, but the light fades from Claudine's body, and she reverts to her gremlin self, and then turns to ash. "You just killed my fairy godmother!" Sookie cries. Eric: "I'm sorry." And he sounds like he almost means it.