Best Kinky Bar TJ's Locker Room. A buddy of mine swears he finds lasses itching for threesomes any time he visits this otherwise inconspicuous cubbyhole of a booze barn with a couple of pool tables and cheap, cheap beer. "Hot chicks come here," says my friend, whose Wang Computers T-shirt reflects poorly upon my own status as cool (or is that hot?). "And they like to party. But you better take a wingman, since they always have an Amazon friend who isn't into that sort of stuff," he adds—is he still talking? Also? Perhaps you should take this with a grain of salt. 1164 E. Yorba Linda Blvd., Placentia, (714) 996-0929.

Best Historic Hamburger Hamlet In-n-Out Burgers. There are only five In-n-Outs without a drive-through, and Placentia has the oldest—opened in the now only vaguely Orwellian 1984. Southern Californians might think the lack of a, well, in-and-out in a chain franchise that originated the roadside burger phenomenon is heresy—but the Animal Burgers are always worth taking a few extra steps. 825 W. Chapman Ave., Placentia, (714) 528-7868.

Best Supermarket Bargain Basket. In a city where chains occupy everything from hospitals (Kaiser) to music stores (possibly the last Wherehouse extant), Bargain Basket is an original: a low-cost supermarket independently run for more than five decades. Residents love its Alpha-Beta-esque design (hazy halogen lighting, wide aisles and veteran employees), its cheap prices and its emphasis on Mexican produce. 710 W. Chapman Ave., Placentia, (714) 528-1171.

Best Old Park Kraemer Memorial Park. This arboreal dell played host to the Placentia Heritage Days festival for 35 years, and with good reason—it's the park closest in address and spirit to the city's original downtown. But it also happens to border Placentia's historic barrios, and Tri-City Park is in the newer, whiter section of town, and so they moved the festival. And Kraemer Park is still jammed with families every weekend, but no amount of protests have persuaded city fathers to move Placentia Heritage Days back where it came from. Which is just sad. 201 N. Bradford Ave., Placentia.

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