Cool Band Shirts

15. Cool Band Shirts

Nothing screams "SEXY" like a girl who knows how to pick out a T-Shirt with a band's name on it. I'm actually OK with Lame Band Shirts, too. Anyone who can make a Coldplay tee work is a definite keeper.

Tights Under Shorts

14. Tights Under Shorts

You know someone's really giving it their fashion all when they're walking around in 100 degree weather wearing multiple layers, presumably responding to someone telling them it's a good look by screaming "IT FUCKING BETTER BE" through what would be tears if it weren't for the dehydration that set in three minutes after they left the house. Fashion demands sacrifice.

Sleeveless Button Downs

13. Sleeveless Button Downs

For those who like to give off a more formal tone, and consider "formal" to be a concept that only occasionally requires sleeves, this is the look for you. Sleveless button downs answer the question "is it possible to be sexy while dressing like a wrestler?" while also asking the question "are you cool with messing around with your bra strap ten times an hour?"


12. Jeggings

Jeggings are sexy, because they say "I'm just an ordinary girl who likes to kick back and keep it casual with a pair of jeans. Also, these aren't jeans at all." Standoffish deception is one of the major turn-ons of the modern era, and nothing accomplishes that like these babies.


11. Leggings

See above but replace "standoffish deception" with "begrudging acceptance". It's hard not to feel bad for people who wear leggings (in all their forms). It must get pretty hot. Still, it's not like uncomfortable, restrictive legwear is THAT much of an epidemic.

Skinny Skinny Jeans

10. Skinny Skinny Jeans

I can only assume that in the summer months these are worn exclusively by feisty, independent women who want to substitute an unwarranted, leering "how you doing?" with a genuinely concerned "How are you? Do you need water?" Good for you, ladies.

Pencil Skirts

9. Pencil Skirts

The sign of someone who takes both their appearance and their professional portfolio seriously. Give me a call sometime, ladies in pencil skirts, but only once you're done shattering the glass ceiling.

Maxi Dresses

8. Maxi Dresses

I didn't even know what a Maxi Dress was before I started writing this thing, which is the highest compliment I can give something in terms of how fashionable it is. You were all right! they look good!

Knee High Socks

7. Knee High Socks

Knee High Socks are one of the most confident pieces of clothing out there. No-one ever worries about how good they're going to look by throwing a pair on, they just know. Thanks for believing in yourselves.

Halter Tops

6. Halter Tops

Astoundingly, it took until the tenth entry on this "sexiest clothing" list for the first "Check it out, I have boobs" item to feature. You must not have been voting fast enough, Uncle Kevin.

Flouncy Skirts

5. Flouncy Skirts

Flouncy skirts look great and all, but easily the best thing about them is the word "flouncy", which has to be one of the most fun words ever associated with women's fashion. Keep it up, girls, flouncing around in your flouncy skirts, you're doing everyone's vocabulary a great service. Flouncy.

Tube Tops

4. Tube Tops

Perhaps one of the most pragmatic items of clothing ever invented, the tube top strips away everything fussy about the T-Shirt, leaving only society's hang ups the thing between you and glorious, free, weather-appropriate comfort.

Crop Tops

3. Crop Tops

For those who like a little more of a conservative spin on their half a shirt, crop tops add some rhyming levity to a clothing item I find myself far too intimidated by to approach a girl wearing it. Whoa, just figured it out. Well played, ladies.

Jean Shorts

2. Jean Shorts

A big part of summer clothing just seems to be taking regular clothes and removing as much material from them as humanly possible. I'll bet if Jean Shorts manufacturers have their way, we'll eventually be left with nothing but two front pockets somehow taped onto the thighs of the wearer. Sounds pretty convenient, I guess.


1. Sundresses

The sundress is one of those staples of summer style along with sunglasses or sandals or "straw fedoras. Because I like wearing it, Uncle Kevin. Yeah, I saw the yankees cap you got me. I don't care if it embarrasses you, I'm keeping it on!" Sundresses are elegant, classy, and just real attractive. It's a look that's never been uncool, and never will be. Until those pockets-only jorts of mine take off. Anyone want to get in on the ground floor on this one? Eh, we can talk about it after I'm done here.

Sundresses are sexy.