October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

A Dollar In The Hand Is Worth Zero In The Wallet

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Your total is $10.27, ma’am.”

Customer: *waves a piece of paper* “Is this a coupon?”

Me: “Not exactly. If you put your email address on it, we’ll send it to corporate and they’ll send you store updates, which will also have a coupon in the first email you receive.”

Customer: “Oh, great! Thanks!” *turns to leave*

Me: “Ma’am, you still need to pay.”

Customer: “I just did.”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Customer: “No?”

Me: “No, ma’am, you didn’t. Your total is $10.27.”

Customer: “Well, now I know I paid! I remember you saying $10.27 before.”

Me: “Yes, I did, but you didn’t pay me the last time I said it, either.”

Customer: “So, you know what that means?” *reaches for her unpaid items*

Me: *takes back her unpaid items* “…that you can’t have this until you pay for it?”

Customer: “I’m never shopping here again!”

Pants-Fulfilling Prophecy

| Salisbury, MD, USA | Uncategorized

(A coworker of mine is looking through racks of clothes, trying to find where a shirt goes. A customer and her friend approaches her as she’s doing this.)


Coworker: “Um…sorry?”





Customer: “I should sue you for discrimination!”


Customer: “Whatever! We’re leaving!”



Customer’s friend: “S**T!”

(The customer and her friend both bolt from the store, dropping the shirt in the process.)

Uncouth Bluetooth

| Lexington, KY, USA | Uncategorized










Extramarital Appliances

| Freehold, NJ, USA | Uncategorized






(Nothing happens.)

Customer: “Why isn’t it calling my wife?”


Customer: “No.”


Cash For Baby Bumpers

| Sterling, VA, USA | Uncategorized


Me: “Stop that!”







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