Victor Martinez

HBO Sports has always produced some of the best sports documentaries.

Year in and year out, HBO Sports has been recognized as television's best storyteller, tugging on the viewers emotions by using archive footage, home movies and honest interviews.

HBO Sports latest offering is "State: of Play," which aired on Wednesday night, takes a real look at parents living vicariously through their kids in various endeavors -- golf, tennis, high-school football and basketball.

In the new series produced by Peter Berg ("Friday Night Lights") "Trophy Kids" focuses on four parents and five children and how they interact in high school and youth sports.

The four-part documentary series is about over-parenting and its effects on the children.

During one scene, a parent says, "every parent wants their kid to be a super star," and "you have to get the kid to buy into your dream."

At one point, when a player's father yells out, "Get in the game mentally," the player shoots back, "Will you shut-up or leave?"

The next scene shows the father walking out with his son saying, "I just see so much more in you" as the player walks away with his arm crossed in front of him.

In El Paso, we see parents pushing their children almost to the bring of quitting almost every day in every sport.


It's one thing to be a supportive parent and an entirely different thing to be an overbearing parent.

Sad thing is, most parents don't realize they are being an overbearing sports parent, almost to the point of being a bully. They truly believe what they are doing to their children is the right thing.

What's even worse, they seem to be in a state of perpetual denial.

Who hasn't seen a parent scolding their child for missing a free throw, throwing an interception or dropping a pop fly.

This is a problem seen all over the United States. Parents put pressure on their children to win, to be the best. What they may not understand is that this pressure is hurting their children and not helping them.

We are pushing our children too far and sometimes it's difficult to get them back.

Almost every competitive team has a parent who sits alone in the stands because nobody wants to be near them.

You know the ones, the parents who get frustrated easily. These are the parents who want their child to succeed at any cost. Those are the parents who take their support too far, yelling at officials and disputing calls and worse, berating their own child.

As "State of Play" shows, over-involved parents are one of the biggest problems in youth sports.

It could be the "frustrated jock syndrome" where some parents live vicariously through their children because they want to relive their own glory years or feel the joy of success.

But instead of providing support and encouragement, they push and push, not knowing where to draw the line.

Now, I'm not saying we are raising soft children who disappear at the slightest sign of pressure but young people rely -- and need -- positive feedback from their parents. That positive parental feedback can be powerful.

More than likely, the most successful athletes have had supporting parents and never felt pressured by them trying to meet their expectations.

Most of this pressure happens behind the scenes on the ride to and from practice or before dinner or breakfast.

You can tell when a young athlete is being pressured just by watching them after making a bad play.

Instead of looking at their coach, they will look to their parents.

Sports should be enjoyable but when parents pressure their kids into performing above and beyond, it takes that happiness away.

Children always want to do well for their parents, that's understandable, but when the end result does not meet the parent's expectations it creates conflict.

As a basketball official, its easy to see how overbearing parenting effects the players.

The message is simple, support your kids, let them have fun and mellow out, it's only a game.

Victor R. Martinez may be reached at; 867-3419. Follow him on Twitter @vrmart.