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How to remove a radiator

Aviators have a saying, 'Never leave a viable aircraft in flight', partly to disparage knuckleheaded parachutists, but also because it is good advice. 'Never take a working radiator off the wall' is similarly sensible advice.

You will need a large adjustable spanner, wire wool and a strong helper. Radiators are far too heavy to handle alone, unless you like rusty watermarks on your carpet. They also tend to have valves at each end, which means you can isolate them without draining the system and, alarmingly, get the thing off the wall with an adjustable spanner.

First, bleed the radiator (by letting out the air at the top with a £3 bleed key), leave the bleed valve open, then unscrew the nuts where radiator meets valves. Receptacles for catching spillages should be positioned carefully because leaks begin now. When the water stops flowing, there is still a reservoir of sludge waiting to change your carpet forever, so the radiator needs to be tilted and fully drained into a nearby bucket. Clean the threads underneath the nuts with wire wool, wrap them in PTFE tape (£1 at the plumbers' merchant), then put it all back.

Replacing the radiator, emptying out sludge or fixing a drip are good reasons to risk taking a radiator off; wanting to decorate the wall is not. A radiator brush reaches far enough down the back for most people; or do what I do and just avoid peering behind it.

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