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The first question most strangers ask me is "How tall are you?" If I'm feeling charitable, I answer honestly: "6-foot-2." They often follow-up with, "Do you ever date shorter men?" Consider this my full answer.


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This is bullshit. Single people sign up for a half-dozen dating sites and apps in order to widen their pool, yet most won't break the height taboo. It needs to change. Men should date women who are taller than they are, and women should date shorter men. For chrissakes, I'm talking about all of us getting laid here! Only four percent of heterosexual couples feature a shorter man. Let's increase our odds.

Now, in order for you, a shorter man, to circumvent this bullshit and convince wonderful taller women to date you, you have to understand why women feel this way. Let me explain.


Women have internalized the message that it's better for us to be smaller. This is essential to know—it's not just about shortness, but also skinniness. To be bigger than men is to worry that you'll turn them off. Webb found that it isn't just men lying about their height online, women do, too—to appear shorter. (With good cause: Women over six feet receive forty percent fewer messages on OkCupid than their 5'4" counterparts.) Ask any super-tall woman about her dateless teenage years and the number of times a well-meaning adult said to her, "The boys are just intimidated by you." Taller is mannish. Taller is… weird.

So how do we get over our collective height hangup? Tall women provide a natural test case. After all, it's nearly impossible for we amazons to find a partner who meets the classic 8-percent height differential, so we've had to get comfortable dating smaller men. If I hadn't, I would still be a virgin. So let's first take a basic lesson from the world of super-tall women: Do not approach a leggy lady and fucking open with "How tall are you?" Or some dumb joke about the weather up there. She will dismiss you. I've taken to giving my whiskey a single swirl, looking down my nose and saying slowly, "You are boring me. Go away."

A novel idea: Think of height like tits. You would never walk up to a woman and open with, "What's your bra size?" Even if her height is part of her appeal, wait until fifth-date post-coital bliss to say how much you love it.



Everyone, it is time to expect more. To go on even just one date with someone who falls outside of our eight-percent range, and to ask ourselves whether there's actually less chemistry there. To think of a world with all these new, gorgeous options. If you won't do it for yourself, try it for my sake. I'd really appreciate if we could all stop asking "How tall are you?" We're above it.

This article originally appeared on

From: Esquire

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