"The force is with Pokemon, not `Star Wars.' " --Tony...

December 16, 1999


--Tony Gikas, an industry analyst at U.S. Bancorp Piper Jaffray, after Hasbro announced it would cut its work force by 20 percent due to lagging sales of "Star Wars" products and other toys.

"It is advisory to be two people during assembly."

--From an instruction manual for assembling an Ikea bookcase.

"We wonder what a person is doing with so much milk."

--A police spokeswoman in Scotland, where authorities are looking for a thief who stole 300 pints of milk from an elementary school.

"Ninety-nine-point-five percent of those people are more likely to buy a pair of Nike sneakers with `Sweatshop Made' imprinted on the back, eat a drowned-dolphin tuna sandwich and vote Republican than they are going to vote for Pat Buchanan."

--An anonymous leader of the anti-WTO protests in Seattle, lamenting that the presidential candidate who comes closest to the demonstrators' position on trade is Pat Buchanan.