Memo To Smart But Not Brilliant Women Who Infiltrate Boys' Clubs Of The Universe: We Hate Your Retard Photo Shoots


Valerie Plame testifies on the Hill today in something Scooter Libby involved, we're not sure what, since the trial already ended and we didn't even pay attention to that. So why did we bother reading this entire non-story about is? Well, because unlike Tim Russert and Bob Woodward and all the other Sunday talk show regulars who testified Valerie is sooooooooo pretty it's like she never even lived in Washington. (Check out this Tribeca Film Festival pic!)

Anyway, we're pretty sure when a woman is hot, her intelligence is either inversely proportional to her hotness, or the beauty has somehow made her a genius,rom..., and what a delicious parlor game it is to try and figure out which option is correct! Which brings us to Sarah Lewitinn, the super-cute blogger DJ A&R rep and former Spin intern who, for clinging to her persistently middle-American music tastes and being a hottie was this week dubbed the "most controversial figure in New York's music scene" in a pointless cover non-story in the Village Voice.

But disappointingly, according to the stories, both gals are.. sorta just okay at what they do. So why do they torture us by participating in these preposterously self-aggrandizing photo shoots? And stoke the ire of the "haterati" (Tricia Romano's term, not ours!) by getting screenwriters to write movies about their lives when their lives are not that interesting?


Beats the heck out of us. But hey, it looks like there's some money in it; we'll run the numbers after the jump.


So she was kind of a mediocre spy:

One retired former senior CIA officer.. described her as "very competent but not great." Another... said, "It doesn't matter if she was not a great spy. . . . She did her job, and it was difficult." Said a third..: "She was no Mata Hari and probably would not have gone into senior ranks, but she presented herself well."
(Italics ours!)

But haterati in chief Bob Novak and the real estate bubble have turned her into a millionaire anyway:

Over the past year Plame has completed a book, "Fair Game," which netted her a seven-figure sum, although the book remains tied up in a CIA review process. She and her husband have sold the movie rights for their life story to Warner Bros. Earlier this week the couple closed the $1.8 million sale of their Washington house, which they purchased in 1998 for $735,000.

Meanwhile in Ultragrrland:

As an intern at Spin, Lewitinn was an idea machine, if not exactly a gifted writer, which led some to criticize her behind her back...Her college education is minimal.. She's got a sort of George W. quality to her—she's not particularly eloquent and can come off spacey.

But she's sold books and opened a label at Def Jam!

She's won Paper magazine's People's Choice award for Best Party and Best DJ ...and in 2005 wrote The Pocket DJ, a book of playlists for different genres, moods, and occasions. It sold 38,000 copies—successful enough that she's signed to do a second book, The Pocket Karaoke. She's working with a screenwriter on a movie script partially based on her life.

Oh, we're just jealous.

Valerie Plame: The Spy Who's Ready To Speak For Herself
In Defense Of Ultragrrl [Village Voice]