1. Ebert's Jaw

    “In this one I’m the Mexican bad guy…who drives a truck!”

  2. “Did somebody get the license plate of that puta on the Vespa?”

  3. “They call me Tortuga! That means turtle…because I really have to poop”

  4. EricLR

    Dispelling the low-rider myth, I see.

  5. You won’t see Gwyneth Paltrow cutting in front of him on her Vespa.

  6. “Machete don’t always commute, but when he do…”

  7. That’s a good way to hide the fact that you’re 3 feet tall.

  8. “SI! My penis EES very small. Why do you ask?”

  9. The Pope

    Is your real name Miguel?

  10. fred

    I assume the lawnmower attachment is just out of frame?

  11. Leonardo was not impressed.

  12. Yeah, all you fuckers try cracking these jokes to his face. (You may have to crouch down a little.)

    Seriously, though, he’s awesome, and a legitimate tough guy.

  13. “huh? what? no, it gets great milage–it’s a hybrid!”

  14. “Danny, this isn’t a drive thru Liquor store.”
    “Give me a minute and some driving room!”

  15. Riding world’s tallest lowrider.

  16. On a movie set? Riiiiiggght….

  17. He invented the high-rider.

  18. I’m going to watch the absolute shit out of this movie!

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