Mirror mirror

The Slouch

At the Hollywood Superstar Training Academy, ladies complete a special module on the art of dressing down. Harvey Weinstein himself teaches the importance of wearing the world's most offensive tracksuit bottoms, and doles out strict instructions on how to do The Slouch.

Step one: allow your hair to greasify until it resembles fried onions.

Step two: twirl it back into a scraggy knot.

Step three: allow some strands to hang limply about your face like a be-cardiganed member of the Cure fan club.

Britney Spears, Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts - all are masters of The Slouch. And that, people, is why they are where they are today. NB: Bonus points awarded if you round off the ensemble with a grubby-peaked baseball cap.