Sexual healing

I've been having chemotherapy for breast cancer and it has put me off sex. My husband has been very understanding, but I know he would like us to make love again. How can I get in the mood?

Maintaining a sensual and sexual connection with your husband during and after chemotherapy or radiation treatment is certainly possible. It will involve talking candidly about sex and experimenting to find comfortable positions. To counteract dehydration, drink extra water a couple of hours prior to intercourse and apply plenty of lubricant. A relaxing position lying on your side, perhaps, using pillows as support and extra towels in case of nausea or incontinence. If thrusting is uncomfortable, he could enter you and stay still while touching you. Then you could bring him to orgasm either manually or orally. Let him experiment with style and pace until you find what feels good - and give him precise feedback.

Tell him if you feel pain, discomfort or nausea. Mucous membranes can become irritated from chemo and radiation, so wash off semen immediately, as it can burn. If you feel like having sex the first day or two after chemo, your husband should wear a condom to avoid getting a rash on his penis from chemicals in your vaginal fluids, and he should avoid oral sex for the same reason. To help with skin tenderness, you could ask him to apply lotion to you as a sensual touching session.

Use your imagination to keep up your erotic bond. When you are too tired to do anything else, try telling each other erotic stories.


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