Mads Mikkelson and Anna Mouglalis: Booooring.
Mads Mikkelson and Anna Mouglalis: Booooring.

Two of the most influential artists of the 20th century become simpering dolts in "Coco Chanel and Igor Stravinsky."

The second and worst of the two Chanel movies (last year's "Coco Before Chanel" wasn't much better), "Coco" begins at a fascinating place: the legendary premiere of Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring" that was so hated by the chichi audience that it rioted. Chanel, already an up-and-coming dressmaker, was there, and according to the movie, loved "Rite of Spring" so much, she became the composer's patron. By "patron," I mean she moved him and his wife and kids into her estate, where she almost instantly started having sex with Igor under his wife, Katarina's, nose.

That sounds like the stuff of drama, but once the movie gets past the "Rite" riot, it's a crashing bore. Both title characters are shown at work but with no hint of what was magical about their accomplishments. Chanel (Anna Mouglalis) has a gorgeous house, and she wears beautiful dresses, of course. But any time "Coco" tries to get at the inspiration or creativity of Coco and Igor, it falls apart in howlingly obvious dialogue, like the scene where a friend exclaims to Chanel, "You're still obsessed with your perfume!" (I half-expected the friend to add, "Is this No. 4 or No. 5 of the formulas you've tried?")

Director Jan Kounen tries to keep things interesting by swiveling the camera around like mad, but he's way too susceptible to pretentious, "arty" visual metaphors like the scene in which Igor and Katarina's kids realize their parents' marriage is over and their daughter retreats to play sadly on what I thought of as the swing set of doom.

Weirdly, Coco and Igor (Mads Mikkelson, the blood crier from "Quantum of Solace") aren't the only two potentially fascinating real people who are wasted in "Coco." Ballet legends Vaslav Nijinsky and Sergei Diaghilev also lurk in the background, boringly (and, in the case of Diaghilev, as the butt of a crude joke). Meanwhile, the easiest character to relate to is poor Katarina, who's beautiful, realistic, devoted to her husband and more worthy of her own movie than either her husband or his vicious arm candy.


Directed by: Jan Kounen

Starring: Anna Mouglalis, Mads Mikkelson

Rated: R, for nudity and strong language

Should you go? Give it up, filmmakers. She made beautiful clothes, and she was a selfish bore. *