Report: Jewish Witches Tormented Guantanamo Bay DetaineesS

A former Guantanamo Bay detainee is accusing the U.S. of using witches and Jews to abuse inmates there. While the Bush Administration's use of Jews in the war on terror is well known, this is the first report of witches.

Walid Muhammad Hajj, a Sudanese man who was detained at Gitmo and subsequently released, gave an interview earlier this month to Al Jazeera in which—according to a partial and selective translation by the right-wing advocacy group MEMRI—he said Jews and witches were running rampant on the base, casting spells and generally causing mayhem:


Interviewer: How did they do this?


Interviewer: Give me an example of witchcraft.


Interviewer: They would cast a spell on them?


One particular spell cast against Hajj involved a phantom cat that tried to "penetrate" him as he slept:

Interviewer: Did they ever use witchcraft on you?

Walid Muhammad Hajj: There was one attempt.

Interviewer: How did they do it?


Interviewer: But there wasn't really any cat there?

Walid Muhammad Hajj: Absolutely not.

Other spells included talking birds and talking pants forcing inmates to urinate in their milk:


Interviewer: In front of you?


A lot of right-wing types are having fun with Wajj's account, because stupid backward jihadists are medieval and anti-Semitic. Which is true. And indeed, sort of funny. What's not so funny is that the actual, non-mystical reason that prisoner pissed into his milk is in all likelihood that he was driven insane by torture at the hands of the U.S. military. Also, Sarah Palin believes in witches, too.