Kids Today Aren't Impressed by John Carpenter's 'Halloween' and That Makes Us Very, Very Sad


Oct 28, 2013

Halloween Michael MyersIf you needed yet more proof that most millennials are a bunch of self-absorbed nitwits who don't know much of anything about anything, here's the latest example of why many weep for the future.

Our friends at Yahoo! Movies recently showed John Carpenter's masterful slasher film Halloween to a group of millennials who'd never seen it before -- and the responses from the viewers were arguably more horrifying than anything in the film itself, if you're concerned about the future of the Republic. The generation who generally thinks any movie a decade old is unworthy of their time because it's "ancient" wasn't exactly impressed with Carpenter's chilling tale of absolute evil personified through a psychotic young man -- rating it a measly 5.4 on the scary scale. As bad as that is, it's some of the comments that are sure to send those of us who are a little older over the edge.

Two college students insisted the film was more "comical" than scary -- with one going so far as to call it "one of the LOL-worthiest movies I've seen in a while." 

Okay, so not everyone has to love Halloween -- some folks just don't appreciate a good horror flick, which is fine. What's more bothersome is how some of the "observations" from the college students show a general lack of understanding of the film and horror cinema in general. Take these, for example:

"Seriously did people [in the '70s] just get naked while cooking because they spilled something?" one asked, clearly after seeing Nancy Loomis cooking in her underwear after spilling stuff on her pants. Good question -- but the answer seems pretty obvious to anyone who was paying attention. Loomis' Annie is babysitting at a neighbor's place -- did the viewer expect she'd actually have a spare set of clothes at someone else's house? Maybe pay attention before you snark next time?

Then there's this gem, which is so head-scratchingly dense I wasn't even sure how to respond to it:

"Why did no one ever turn on a single light anywhere?" Fair question -- and one that could be asked of essentially any horror film made since the dawn of the genre. Slagging Halloween for that seems pretty clueless since I could rattle off a hundred current horror films where the same question is relevant. Of course, who in the "me generation" would realize that? Let's give this guy his trophy for trying and send him one his way with his self-esteem intact. You're a unique and beautiful snowflake. 

Thankfully, not all of our millenials are so logic and taste challenged. A few of them genuinely appreciated the film and even were able to contextualize it in regards to its place in the evolution of the genre. Bonus points to the guy who actually referenced Hitchcock. 

So, what do these kids actually find frightening? Well, that list is good for a laugh. According to the survey, millenials find Saw, The Evil Dead remake, 1408 (whiskey-tango-foxtrot), The Ring and The Omen remake all more terrifying than Carpenter's seminal fright flick. As for me, I find their dubious taste in films pretty horrifying... and when a millennial actually makes a film that's even half as impressive and effective as Carpenter's Halloween, maybe then I'll care what this generation thinks about anything. Until then, get off my lawn.




Categories: News, Buzz Bin, Horror
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