Hate Mail Looket me! 400! I'm a Big Boy!
First I'd like to give thanks to Angela Wieland Photography for these wonderfully strung out photos she took of me last week at Cake Shop. Christ, I'm one handsome fuck. But enough about me. Let's talk about Hate Mailers! I mean, what's up with that?!?! 400 freaking pages of complaints in almost 10 years and they're not even hinting at letting up! And as a special surprise I've put some of the funny audio hate mail I've gotten on my message machine! Are you still enjoying the site? Are we still having fun?
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So maybe
you've noticed the little phone number that's been appearing on Jesus Dressup and elsewhere on the site for the last year or so? If not, no biggy, because it's meant to be found by complainers who're too lazy to write an email. And Christ, the booby trap worked like a charm!

So what I've done for this special 400th page of hate mail is select some of my fovorite phone messages taht you can listen too by clicking on the little old fashion answering machines. I'm sure you'll enjoy them.

"Slap in the face to all Christians"
"And ... um... it's rude... and um... you should consider ... not... being... this... way."

Christ, I am so NOT convinced. NEXT!!

"I think it was very much of a bad thing!"

This man/woman is sure us heathens are getting a laugh out of alll this, but in the end God's gonna have the last laugh!

Does God really laugh at us?

"Gooh Lord!"

"Itz a dizgrace to play with the gooh lor like dat! How woud yall wanna dress up the gooh lord n the grinch?!?"

I rest my case.

"You don't put a bathing suit on Jesus."
I've noticed 3 regular occurences with the phone calls.
#1. Usually women.
#2. Southern accents.
#3. Kids in background.

No shock, I know. Just sayin'.

"You need to really seriously grow up."

This guy's not interseted in ordering "squat" from us people because it's a joke!

Um, yeah, that's exactly what it is. Am I supposed to be angry having Jesus Dressup put in this catagory?

"I thought this was CJ!"

And this last guy, he thought it was CJ.

Christ Jesus, who the fuck is CJ?? He sounds like a douche.

So feel free to add these to your iPod, or mix them into a song about Jesus, or simply take them to heart and reexamine yourself in the mirror. That's what I did, and it made me hard.

* * * * * *

Hey Bob, I thought I might take a shot at translating Ms Geysers message to her hubbie, so here goes:

"Hi my love,
I was on google last week and typed the word jezus, and I landed on a site that has shocked me. That's jezus hanging on a cross and you can dress him up in all sorts of clothes, such as a devil's outfit, halloween outfits and cupid outfits. I was sickened that someone would make such a mockery of jezus so I sent the creator an email, and look at what he replied!!! can you hear the devil in his voice?
I want to send him a bible quote every morning but it has to be in English, are you still sending quotes from that book of yours? if you do, please forward it to me, so I can send it to him. I'm going to pray for him so that the lord might help him and save his heart.

hmmm, much like dutch really. Looks to me Bob's going to be rescued, whether he wants to or not. on top of that he's going to be nagged with daily bible quotes.
hahaha, what are you going to do about that Bob?
you know reasoning isn't going to get you anywhere....


When I read that she was writing Afrikaans, I thought, "ah, that's why this sounds like a Nigerian scam!

But I read something the other day, an article that sheds some light on your Believers who write like this. You gotta read this article and post it: Science Daily article

"ScienceDaily (Mar. 5, 2009) -- Believing in God can help block anxiety and minimize stress, according to new University of Toronto research that shows distinct brain differences between believers and non-believers."






I'll leave the rest for people to read.

Hellbound Alleee

PS. Hey, I made a remix for you.

It's called "Grinch in a Dress." Hope you like it.


Jesus hang on that cross for you and me, because he loves us with all His heart, and died for our sins!


Hi, My name is Francisca,
I would just like to tell you that, Jesus hang on that cross for you and me, because he loves us with all His heart, and died for our sins!!! He is my King and our Creator, and you don't have any issues in making a fool out of Him? I will pray for you, and ask God to forgive you for you know not what you do.

I hope that before you die, you get to meet the wonderful Jesus Christ, for when you do your live will never be the same!!! Remember we all will be judged one day, we will stand before God and he will ask you "Bob, when Francisca told you the truth, why did you not listen?", and I hope that you will have an answer for Him! Please hear the truth today, and take it to heart!!!!

May God bless you!!
Francisca Geyser

Yes, all that may be true, but the fact that he's also imaginary completely negates everything you said. Hello Kitty also loves me, but that doesn't move me in any way. A celebrity accepting an award saying "I love you all!" doesn't cause me to tear up and lose my heart to them.

Francisca, falling in love with people who aren't there isn't a healthy thing to practice. I hope that you at least got a little of that message when you played with my Jesus Dressup.

Thank you for your feedback.

“As jy doen, stuur vir my dit oor, ek gaan elke dag!!”

Hi my love, ek het op google ingegaan laas week, en getik JESUS, toe kom ek op n ding af wat my baie ontstel het. Dit is Jesus wat aan die kruis hand en dan kan jy nou vir hom allerhande klere aantrek, bv, daar is duiwelpakkies, holoween costumes en cupid pakkies en al, ek was skoon siek, dat iemand so n bespotting maak van Jesus, toe stuur ek vir die creator n email, soos hieronder, en kyk wat stuur hy vir my terug!!! Jy hoor sommer die duiwel in sy stem!!! Ek wil nou elke oggend vir hom n bybel stik stuur maar dit moet engels wees, stuur jy nog uit daai boekie van jou vir mense goed elke oggend? As jy doen, stuur vir my dit oor, ek gaan elke dag vir die ou iets stuur, en ek gaan vir hom bid, dat die Here hom sal help, en sy hart sal versag!!!

Lief jou!!

YIKES! What??

“we are all praying for you!”

The message was send to my husband and to various Christians, and we are all praying for you!

God Bless!!!
Francisca Geyser

I don't mind that, just as long as you're not using voodoo. Voodoo is very real, and can be used against me, even from the other side of the world!

Thank you.

“I only believe in Jesus Christ no other weird believes...”

Don't worry, I only believe in Jesus Christ no other weird believes that is anyway not real!! And believe me prayer is much stronger than any other sort of voodoo!!

God Bless!!!!
Francisca Geyser

So only the weird belief is in Jesus - The guy whose execution was organized by his dad (God), then, after he was killed he rose back to life, then flew up into the sky to heaven? No voodoo?


“No crime, sadness, crying, broken families, rape, murder and all the things that this world is at this moment!!!”

I don't mind being called weird most of the people that don't know the truth (That Jesus is our King and Saviour, and wasn't executed by his Father, but died so that we can live) calls us christians weird! He died for our sins, He who was without sin, took our sin upon Him. And why, we are actually nothing!! Because He loves us, that why! He defeated death, sin and the devil (which is actually one and the same) so that we could live forever. If you except Him as your Saviour, you will live forever with Him in heaven. But if you choose to ignore Him, I don?t have very good news for you!! Beacause there is only a heaven and a hell!! Where would you want to spend all eternity?

Even if you don't believe, don't you think you should at least look into it? Because an eternity is very long, and you would not want to go to hell, just because you were to stubborn to look into the truth? Because you have convinced yourself that there is no God, don't you think there might be something beter out there, and believe me, there is no beter place then heaven!!! No crime, sadness, crying, broken families, rape, murder and all the things that this world is at this moment!!! But unfortunately you can lead a horse to the water but you can't make him drink!!

I can write you a book full, but unfortunately I have to work now. Hope you have a great day!!!

God bless!!!
Francisca Geyser

Wouldn't there be broken families in heaven if a mother who believed in Jesus had a child die who did not? The mother would go to heaven and the child to hell, thus "a broken family in heaven." How does she not feel sadness and cry there?

I have done as you suggested and looked into it further. There cannot be a heaven with no crying if the people they love most go to hell. Have you looked into all of this further?


“Its is difficult to explain this concept to someone who don't believe”

Its is difficult to explain this concept to someone who don't believe, but I will try.

God is our heavenly father, he is much more real to me then any person on this earth. Each and every Christian in this world is my brother or sister. Off course I would love to see my whole earthly family with me in heaven, but if they aren't Christians and do not believe in Jesus Christ, they to will not go to heaven. My father passed away 4 years ago, and I know that I will see him one day together with my heavenly Father! I am a very blessed person, my mother, father and 3 brothers with their families are Christians, and I am so thankful towards God for allowing their heart to open for Him! I don't know if you own a bible but if you do, go to Matthew 12 Verse 46 - 50 , in these verses JESUS'S MOTHER AND BROTHER CALLS HIM AND A MAN IN THE CROWD SAID TO JESUS "YOUR MOTHER AND BROTHER IS CALLING YOU" JESUS REPLIED, "WHO IS MY BROTHER AND MOTHER- EVERYONE WHO DOES THE WILL OF MY FATHER IS MY BROTHER AND SISTER AND MOTHER" meaning everyone who does the will of God is family in Christ. Hope you understand my direct translation, I don't quite know how it is put in English, for I only own an Afrikaans bible.

Enjoy the day!!
God bless!!
Francisca Geyser

Wow, what an ugly way to look at people: Only those who believe what you believe are your brothers and sisters. Don't you see how awful it is to teach people they can have a heaven while other people suffer? Not to be all judgey on you, but you sound terrible when you say you can be happy even if others are in hell.

It's just such a terrible and sad belief. I hope you come to see how bad it is to teach people that they can have a heaven while other people suffer eternally. Not only are your beliefs fake, but they're poisonous to your relationships with people different than you too.

Damn missionaries spreading our stupidity to other countries. It's as dumb as voodoo.

“you just don't want to understand”

Don't worry, it was my home language (Afrikaans) I live in

I can see that you just don't want to understand what I am telling you. I have told you the truth, what you do with it is your decision. Our job on this earth is to spread the seed (the word of God) but God will make it grow. I hope that God makes your seed grow! There is written, when you tell someone the truth and they choose not to listen, you must wash your hands from them. Now I wash my hands!

This will be my last email to you. If you really want help, I will be there if you send me an email, otherwise you will not receive a reply from me again.

I want to end by saying I hope that oneday you realize how must our heavenly Father loves you, and that he want you also to be with Him one day!!

"Dear God, you see how hard Bob?s heart is towards you, please help him to realize that You are the only Way and Truth!!! Please forgive his sins, for he know not what he do. Help him understand, and show him Your love for him!! I pray this in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ!! Amen"

God bless!
Francisca Geyser

You're accusing me of not wanting to understand how people can enjoy paradise while those they love suffer eternally? And you think I should work to eliminate this empathy and compassion I might have for others enduring never ending torture while I bask in paradise? And by example you're illustrating how you "wash your hands" of anyone who doesn't submit to believing your stories?!?!?

I am completely appalled by how you're conducting yourself here. I suppose you've no choice but to shut yourself off from anyone who doesn't believe those stories or you risk having your perfect heaven tainted by accidentally caring for those who scream forever. Do you even recognize how selfishly perversed your priorities have been bent? You're washing your hands of people who don't believe the outlandish tales you tell instead of considering another opinion.

A true humanitarian couldn't have the paradise you describe.

“Because you want to be a humanitarian on earth, you are choosing to go to hell”

I just want to tell you, I am not accusing you of anything, but I am not going to hell because all the other people don't want to here the truth. If I have spread the word, and everyone chooses not to listen, should I now turn my back on my God and just go with the flow and join everyone in hell? Because you want to be a humanitarian on earth, you are choosing to go to hell, because you don't want to believe? That thinking is for me a bit appalling!

I don't want anyone to go to hell, that is why I am trying my best to spread the truth!!! I realize you think I am selfish, and everyday I think of the millions of people that is currently burning in hell, and my heart breaks for them, but there is NOTHING I can do about those people, but I can try to do something about the people who is still with us, by spreading the word!! But if they don't want to listen, what do you suggest I do? That is why I rather move on to other people that might listen to me, instead of working with one person that worries more about being a humanitarian on earth, but do not worry about going to hell one day!! You don't have to argue with me, the truth is YOU WILL NOT ENTER HEAVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW JESUS CHRIST AND HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM!! And it doesn't matter what you and I say, that will NEVER change!

God Bless!!
Francisca Geyser

But there IS something you can do, Francisca. Don't you see? There's a very simple solution to the problem you all face when figuring out how to be joyful in heaven while your precious brothers & sisters in hell scream in pain for eternity. You want to know what that solution is? It's really quite simple. Are you ready? Here it is: Consider the idea that what you believe isn't true. That's all you have to do. Just think for a second how people have been making up religions and gods and saviors and other ghost stories for thousands of years, then consider this for what you believe. There. Problem solved.

Wasn't that easy? You just eliminated a billion suffering souls from the white hot fires of hell in an instant! Isn't that exciting? And all you had to do was think a little using the priceless tool of logic! No heaven, no hell, no God or devil. It's all make-believe, made up by the same human beings who thought up Zeus, Apollo, voodoo dolls, Allah, Yahweh and Shiva. The fairy tales turned out to be just what they seemed to be, now go outside and see the world through new eyes! An exciting new life that you're 100% responsible for! Free to become an adult who thinks for herself.

You no longer have to be a slave to the lie. You control your own life now. Congratulations!
Now you know freedom.

Thank you for your not just "washing your hands" of anything different than you. It's the first step towards growth.

"I am not the one trying to figure out how to be joyful in heaven while the others are screaming in hell!”

I cant believe you think that there are no God. Where do you think did everything came from? Did it is just appear one day? To tell you the truth I just don't feel like wasting my time anymore by listening to these arguments. And I am not the one trying to figure out how to be joyful in heaven while the others are screaming in hell. I know I will be joyful in heaven!!

Let me tell you, the devil and God are very real, and the devil is working very well through you, because that is his purpose in life, to get all Gods children away from Him, and to worship him (the devil), but let me tell you, that you will never be able to change my mind, there were to many times in my live that God helped me when I needed it. So you don't even have to reply on this email because you are going to waste your breathe!

I just want to tell you the following story, which happened in South Africa, I don't know if you know, but we have very high crime rate, every hour someone is murdered, every 10seconds a woman or child is being raped, I don't know anymore how it feels to drive with an open window, so it is very bad.

"This lady was in her house with her 2 sons (3 and 4years old) her husband was not yet back from work, and she was busy fixing the bath water for her children, as she was walking out of the bathroom to collect there cloths there was 2 men in the corridor with knifes. You can imagine the fright she got. They walked towards her, and all she did was she fell to her knees and just said "Jesus save us!" , and she closed her eyes for she know what was going to happen. After a while nothing happened, as she opened her eyes, they were gone. Her husband came in, and she told him what happened, they went to the police and told them the whole story. After given the police a description of the 2men they took her to a lineup, because they arrested 2 men matching her description, and she showed out the 2men. Afterward the police asked them, why did they run away from the lady, "They said they could not come close to her, there with 2 very big men, that guarded over her, men in very bright white cloths." God protected that women by sending angels.

There is so many physical evidence that God do excist!! There is millions of testimonies in how God saves peoples lives, that is evidence of Gods love for you! You can ask him to save you in any situation, and if you believe it, He will save you!!

So I will NEVER be convinced that there is no God!!!!!
God bless!!
Francisca Geyser

Below is the last message I received from Fran. It was forwarded to about 30 of her friends which she forgot to BCC (Blind carbon copy), so they all got my response, to balance out the BS ;)
“Subject: Jesus”

Subject: Jesus

Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.
Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.
Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.
Had no army, yet kings feared Him.
He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.
Feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us.

Francisca Geyser

Jesus had no writings, yet clearly had stories to tell?
He performed many miracles, yet no one chose to write about him during his life.
He was called a Healer, yet no one who'd been healed by him made note of it.
He had no degree, which would explain why he said children who curse their parents should be executed. Mark 7:10 & Matt 15:4
He preached for human rights, yet he required people to uphold the brutal, inhuman laws of the Old Testament. Matt 5:18 -19
He had no army, yet millions were slaughtered in his name.
He won no military battles, but his dad sure did! TONS! Even one time drowned everyone on the whole planet.
He committed no crime, except for preaching against the gods of the time, which later on was considered illegal if it were against Him.
His death was considered a sacrifice, yet he came back to life a couple days later, then got rewarded with paradise forever-n-ever.
He was buried in a tomb, yet people claim he lives.
If you feel honored to serve such a leader, then you're no different than anyone who's served any of the thousands of make-believe gods we've invented.
If you believe in God and in Jesus Christ His Son send this to all on your Buddy list. In the Bible it says..."You may buy slaves from among the strangers who sojourn with you and these people may be your property." Lev. 25:44-46


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