Dear Abby: 19-year-old wants space, fears parents won't let her go

5:20 PM, Jun. 21, 2013  |  Comments
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Dear Abby: I'm a 19-year-old high school graduate working full time as a general manager for a furniture corporation. I live at home with my parents, but I feel like I am ready financially and emotionally to move out into my own place. I'm afraid to tell my parents because we are so close.

My father has always said he won't let me move out unless he approves of the place, and he talks about random checkups on my apartment. How do I approach them about this without it becoming a screaming match, or ruining the relationship with them?

- Unsettled in Washington


That your father wants to protect you is understandable because you are his child. Approach the subject by telling your parents you are "considering" moving out on your own, and would like your father to help you select a place that is safe. Do not be confrontational. If he refuses, you can still go looking on your own.

Once you are in and settled, you can then address the subject of "surprise" visits. It is respectful to call before dropping by.

Dear Abby: When did men decide it was "stylish" to wear a two-day growth of beard? Please tell the men of America to shave!

- Style Policewoman in Ohio

Dear Style Policewoman: As I recall, men started going less clean-shaven after the TV series "Miami Vice" became a hit.

The look can be sexy - as was demonstrated by hunk-a-licious actors Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas. However, I agree that after a "certain age" the stubble begins to resemble that of an old derelict rather than a Hollywood sex symbol.

Dear Abby: I am the human resources director for a nonprofit organization. Ninety-five percent of all the candidates I interview know little to nothing about the organization for which they are interviewing. Please let job seekers know that most organizations are less likely to hire an applicant who has done no research on the company.

- Shaking My Head in San Diego

Dear Shaking Your Head: Not only should the applicant know something about the organization or company, the job seeker also should be prepared to tell the interviewer why he or she is eager for the job, and how hiring him or her will enhance the business.

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