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Heartbreak and the Empath

How many times can a person break your heart?  I guess it’s as many times as I let him.

Oh, the moment when you realize that the final little bit of hope in your heart is ripped out for the final time and you are left wondering how that hope ever got there in the first place.

In between the unofficial end of my marriage and my divorce, I fell in love.  It had all the makings of a major heartbreak.  He was younger than me; we worked together; we wanted entirely different things; I needed to go through my divorce.  I stopped the budding relationship because I just couldn’t do it, and in my mind, I believed that when the time was right, it would all come back together.  It was not a clean break and so many things happened that just continued to tarnish what we “could” have had.  

Every single sign showed that this was not meant to be and that this relationship was not for the long haul, but I still wished, hoped, and prayed that we would get back together when the dust settled.  Recently the reality that it is entirely over entered and it is overwhelming and denial is impossible.  

I am vacillating between sadness and acceptance.  The waves continue to crash in my heart and mind, and I can’t believe that I am here again. I can’t believe that he could come back and break the last remaining pieces of my heart like this.  

All of the old adages are of little use right now.  In two weeks I have to go back to school and see his face, knowing that he feels nothing for me and that everything I thought was so wrong and so right.  

How am I going to do this????


3 thoughts on “Heartbreak and the Empath

  1. With a smile on your face and happiness in your heart (even if it’s fake!!). Take the power back and choose your feelings instead of letting someone else have power over them. Hard I know but you can do it!!!!

    • Thank you for your kind words. I am honestly shocked at how much this hurts. I meant to tell you that I took your advice from before and donated some things to our local SPCA and volunteered some of my time for a friend in need. It really helped me feel better.

  2. To be an empath is difficult enough. When a true love of an empath is lost, the pain is unmeasurable. When you bring a world of past trauma only years later to fall completely in love with a narricist which opened seven years of emotional abuse, being cut of, ignored, despite your most thoughtful heart open words, being ignored for days and weeks until when you finally had a reply you were so grateful you forgave everything. That on repeat, like a wash cycle for 7 years, until you had nothing left but confusion and sorrow. Why you werent good enough, for them to love you, until that horible day when you learnt its not you its them. 😦 it would take me another life time to describe the pain of that lesson.

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