Sex education requires a public forum


June 02, 2011|BY LAWRENCE DIGGS, Roslyn

Editor's note: This headline was corrected June 3, 2011, for a spelling error.

Our society seems to be conflicted about sex. We don't seem to know what we feel about sex, but we do get quite worked up about it.

I have not seen a convincing argument that sex is unnatural. There are people who believe that women only engage in sex because men have all the power. They know different women than I do.

I believe I can make a case that sex plays an important part in the survival of our species and that, if nature left procreation up to cognitive processing, humans would be less competitive as a species.


I would further argue that DNA that includes strong libidos has a competitive advantage over DNA with a weak libido. So, for survival of the species at least, sex is a good thing.

It is so good that we have figured out a way to use the sexual drive to control people. The down side is that it puts people at war with their own biology. And it put the whole society in conflict with itself.

Case in point:

Our society is really sensitive about premarital teen sex. People often cite the Bible to young people as a way to bring the authority of God to support abstinence. But we have not confronted the elephant in the room.

First Corinthians 7:9 says, “But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” Since teens cannot marry, the only solution we offer them is to burn.

We tell them to “just say no” as if there is some switch behind their heads to turn off their sexual drive. I have yet to see the book, see the video or hear the sermon that offers a reliable way to control sexual drive for teens or adults.

Where are the programs to help people lose all interest in sex? Millions have been spent to create drugs and therapies to increase sex desire.

If we favor the abstention solution, wouldn't we be better off with medication and/or therapies to eliminate sexual desire? Where are the proven religious programs that help people eliminate their sex drive?

And since many “men and women of God” clearly have problems controlling their sexual drive, how much faith should we put in “faith-based” solutions?

There are probably lots of reasons for a lack of consensus about what we think and feel about sex, but at least one reason is we don't have a forum where the discussions leading to consensus can take place. Where can we discuss our ideas about sex like we do the economy?

Many public forums are held on issues, like the economy, where the people debating and the people listening have little knowledge or real-world experience on those issues. Sex is a subject where almost everyone has ideas or feelings and some even have experience.

I propose we create a public, and most certainly secular, forum search for consensus on how we feel about sex.

Lawrence Diggs, Roslyn, is a South Dakota Humanities Council scholar. He makes presentations and conducts seminars worldwide on food, culture and human dynamics. Write him at

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