Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A directionless musing

 {Image via}
Do you ever hit a point where you just don't know if you're doing anything right? I feel like I'm stuck in that quagmire of late; trying to gauge what other people want, but never receiving any verbal verification if it's met their expectations or if they would have preferred X, Y or Z...I suppose if I am satisfied then that should be enough, but I am one of those who craves verbal recognition and appreciation...though, again, this is clearly just a matter of asking if X is accurate or if Z is preferred, perhaps only to be told that Y would be ideal, but at least you know for certain then. This acting assured and living with confidence certainly is easier said than done - living in the moment seems fine and good when you only have yourself to contend with, but unfortunately life is very full of other people with other agendas and expectations, and I spend so much energy trying to determine what would satisfy them, what would make them enjoy, recognize or appreciate my work, an outing, an assignment, a meal, etc., more fully that I don't just focus on the task at hand and on my own enjoyment or satisfaction therein. One of those antsy Tuesdays I suppose....an itchy sort of morning with no real feel for how the rest of the day may go. Still, I suppose that's what life is, making the best of what comes your way, and hopefully not giving oneself ulcers over how others react to you. It really is a shame that those growing pains never stop, but I sure as hell hope I get used to them one of these days. In the meantime, I'll continue to work on not trying to be something for everyone, but instead trying to just make the most of myself, a la Cocoa Chanel's quote above.

1 comment:

  1. Jess...I love this quote and yes I've totally been there. Such a frustrating and confusing state of affairs. Let me know how the apartment is working out. I'm rather envious of your NYC pad and lifestyle at the moment.