Friday, August 30, 2013

They stole his bike, and broke his heart

You will be missed, Bottom Bitch

Mr. Q's trusty bike, a 2004 Giant OCR 2, was stolen Tuesday from outside his office near Northgate.

Mr. Q has other bikes, but in a sense, he had one bike. He has a bike available to ride in his backyard shed, but in a sense, now the shed is empty of bikes. He is the president of Seattle's most venerable night riding union, without a bike upon which to night ride. He is like the Lone Ranger without Silver, or Burt Reynolds without his mustache. He called it "My Bottom Bitch," or "Bottom B" for short. Now he has no bottom bitch, and what is a pimp without a bottom bitch?

That bike accompanied El Presidente on every mission he participated in and led, except one. We are talking thousands and thousands of miles. All of his discoveries, all of his foggy memories, were made aboard that bike. He wrecked it countless times, and it was upon that gun metal that he suffered the Big Wreck, when he busted his front teeth, messed up his ribs and knee.

It's true that the Giant had been making mysterious creaking noises recently, and that on close inspection, the frame displayed many war wounds. However, this summer he replaced the entire drivetrain, a costly process which reaffirmed his commitment to the OCR, and strengthened the sacred bond between night rider and the thing the night rider rides.

“It just feels good,” he said at the time.

And now, calamity.

Although the chances of recovering it are slim, the union urges all members to keep their eyes peeled. Anybody with information on Mr. Q's bike is urged to contact the union using the message box on the right of the blog page.

Distinguishing Features

Size: Medium

Shifters: Right - Tiagra; Left - 105

Drivetrain: recently installed Sora

Decals: On the headtube is a sticker of a tiger leaping forward.

Not Bottom B, but just like it

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