



During a brief conversation with a Twitter friend the other day, we were discussing the things no one tells you about kids. It occurred to me that they should come with warning labels. It seems that almost every baby item we got before we had children was plastered with warnings about all of the potential dangers. But they just don't tell you what these kids will do to you. So, here are a few that I would recommend they stick to the side of the babies before you take them home:

True story. You will lose sleep. Even with good sleepers, it's inevitable. A day will come when you are so tired you don't even know your own name. Start your coffee habit now.

At some point, there will be a stomach bug. They don't write about that in the baby books. Good luck - it sucks.

Related to above.

Kids are like little Hoovers (the vacuum, not the director of the FBI).  Shop like Armageddon is coming. Or a snowstorm if you're in New England. Same difference.

If you don't have kids or you haven't reached the Lego stage, you might think I'm exaggerating. Trust me. It hurts like hell. Throw some around and walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night. You will scream. 

Kids will be kids. They argue and disagree. If, however, they're being super sweet to each other (usually accompanied by unnatural quiet), they are conspiring against you. Watch out.

These are just a few of the warnings I came up with. If you can think of some that I missed, tell me in the comments below!

Thanks to the Warning Label Generator for my fun this morning!

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Anonymous said...

The lego warning is the best. I have develop a cat-like reflex where as soon as my foot touches that sharp edge, it immediately recoils back. Regrettably, my 6'2" husband has not develop such talents.

Lissie said...

I envy your cat-like reflexes!