Wednesday, November 11, 2009

its a hell of a thing killing a man

ive been thinking about this scene in the movie Unforgiven a lot, because it is awesome, and also the Taylor Swift song You Belong to Me, because it is also awesome (fuck you yes it is).

I then tried to combine the two by rewriting the chorus to lyrics about killing a man, but I wrote way too many stanzas and I also fucked up the meter to the point where now I can't even tell which part of the song in which I meant to substitute these words. So now i just have this creepy poem about murder. so just pretend I'm talking about the Braves and thats why I'm blogging about it!

Have you ever to killed a man;
Held his life inside your hands?
Then you snuffed out that man's life,
Just like switching off a light?

There was a man now there is none.
He had a life and now it's done.
He'll never get to grow up old,
Cause his last tale has since been told.

So if you want to kill a man,
I'll show you the master plan,
You'll have to get both your hands wet,
If you want your wishes met.

Cause if there's bloodlust in your heart,
you want to tear a man apart,
Want to slice off that man's head,
Here's what you do to make him dead:

Just shove a knife into his guts,
open up what once was shut,
And ignore his cries and shouts
As you pull his insides out.

So now you've joined the club,
but of course there is a rub:
now you'll have to kill again,
because the cycle never ends!

The end.

Oh I just remembered what part of the song I was re-lyricing, its actually the bridge, after the guitar solo where Swift sings about that guy driving his car in the middle of the night to go see Taylor Swift and cry about a bunch of shit. Ok this all makes sense again. Tough to remember was the fuck I was thinking in the middle of class to be honest.

Anyway, fun times for all.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

good job stupid yankees

now the phillies are no longer world phucking champions. thank fucking christ. now all the yankees need to also get fucked.

hey i'm going to start writing about comic books here.

maybe when the mets dont suck so many dong rods i'll feel like writing about them some more. but right now, all i can think about is ROBOCOP! and the x-men and shit.

ok so, next year mets, keep your chins up. and braves, continue fucking off straight to hell.