Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Press 1 for English

Just saw a Facebook group called "Why the HELL should I have to press 1 for English". I wanted to reply to the person who became a fan of this but I didn't want to insult the individual, who wouldn't have understood anyway, so I'm writing my response here.

Why? Because 1 represents the grand total of languages you can understand! You xenophobic cretin.

I don't mind stupid. I can hang with stupid all day. What I cannot abide is stupid and arrogant.

Friday, December 18, 2009

What Am I?

Just a quick question: if America is now run by socialists, and America is a socialist state, then am I a socialist? Is Rush Limbaugh a socialist?

I mean, all those people in Communist Russia were communists, right?

If a government is socialist does that mean that every government employee is socialist? Is my mailman a socialist?

If I agree with 10% of what my socialist government says and does, and disagree with 90%, am I free of the socialist taint? What if I agree with 90%? Where does one draw the line?

Okay, that was more than one question.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Comrade Sad Sack

Has the government gone too far? It appears so: they've socialized war.

It's true. The basterds have taken away the conduct of war from private business, which clearly could do a better job, and have given it to the government. Those bloated, overpaid fools now have complete control of tanks, airplanes, guns, you name it. It's the government--the Feds, for pity's sake!--who try to organize the complex system that is modern warfare.

Clearly this is a job for the free market. Do you really think the same jokers who run our freeways or who give a free pass to atheists and welfare cheats are going to be able to manage to run an army? Of course not! Armies are too complicated. We need a free market here, with each military unit free to form according to its own natural desire to fight and win. I mean, do you really want an army that is "too big to fail"? Do you really want your tax dollars to bail out troops?


Let each brigade fail on its own merits. Let only the strongest survive, and if that means foreign troops are better than ours, well so be it! Nothing, and by "nothing" I mean nothing, is more important than the free market. Let war mean capitalism and let capitalism mean war!

Amen, brothers and sisters, and go in peace. When you're told to.