Jay’s early curiosity toward other boys made him realize that he was different. In second grade, he had a crush on his friend and wondered if other boys felt the same way about their friends. In middle school, he was more interested in the football team than the cheerleaders, but explained these feelings away as his idolizing them and wanting to be like them. After happily serving a mission, he wanted to get married and start a family, but dating women was a taxing chore that would only ever go so far. Jay realized he couldn’t reciprocate the same level of love as the girls he dated, so he decided to confront his feelings for what they were—he was gay. Afraid of how this new information would change the way people saw him, he chose to first come out to his bishop, who thankfully still showed Jay love and understanding. “That was the first time somebody knew this ‘freakish’ thing about me, and it didn’t seem to really change anything. If anything, I felt like he saw me as more human.”

by Matthew Balls

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