Sunday, September 12, 2010

It continues...

Of course the cytotec didn't work.  About six hours of the big D (I mean, bad, real bad), and pretty much nothing else.  I had sharp stabbing pains in my stomach pretty quickly after taking it (800 mcg), and then some sporadic pains around my uterus, but no full blown cramps like I've known all too well.  Nothing. 

I called the doctor's office at around 6pm on Saturday, about 12 hours after starting the medicine.  I left a message asking if the refill on the prescription was in case it hadn't worked. In case I didn't miscarry right away.  They called back and said unfortunately no.  The refill wouldn't matter, it's "treatment failure".  It either works or it doesn't. A double dose won't help.

So today I've been ok.  Thinking about how it will all be over on Tuesday. Really over.  No waiting and wondering afterward.  I'll take the day off of work and just be.  I'll close this chapter and then B and I will finally get to talk about our life without this waiting game.  We'll make some plans, we'll start to look forward.

My parents came over tonight and brought us dinner. They also brought my favorite homemade soup for Tuesday... and roses.  They sat with us and talked, watched football, smiled. 

I don't feel like Tuesday will be too bad.  They said it feels a lot like after the retrieval, some cramping but nothing too crazy.  I wonder how I'll feel emotionally.  I wonder if I'll cry.  I keep thinking there can't possibly be anymore reason to cry.  And then that fails.

But I'm doing ok today.  I'm ready. As ready as you can be, you know?


  1. Im not working tuesday if you want me to come over and lay with you.. or watch a movie.. or whatever..

  2. I don't really have adequate words now. I just want you to know that I care and I'm sending positive energy your way. So, there are loving, caring thoughts en route... right now!


  3. Sigh. I wish at least this one part could have...would have worked the way it was supposed to.

    I've not had a D&C, so I don't know how they are. I guess the good part (and I use that loosely) is that they can test the tissue to see why things went the way they did. Maybe it would give you a few more answers to the puzzle?

    I'm thinking of you lots and sending love as always. Hugs.

  4. My friend had a d&c. She had cramps for a few days but not too bad. She struggled with the emotional side which is understandable. Hoping Tuesday gors well for you. X

  5. I'm sorry the Cytotec didn't work... I shall be thinking of you especially tomorrow xx

  6. I'll be thinking about you on Tuesday and sending big virtual hugs.

  7. Thank you for your comment on my post. I have just read your recent posts and I'm so so very sorry. Really, words can't even begin to describe how sad I feel for what has happened to you. My heart goes out to you and your family. Hugs being sent to hopefully help you get through this difficult time.

  8. I am so sorry. You seem to be having a run of really shitty luck. I hope that things get better.

  9. We're sending our good thoughts to you. We read your blog everyday. Hippest Snippets is hoping for the best. We believe.

  10. Thinking of you and sending love as always...