Friday, March 26, 2010

Cameron Threatens To Beat Deniers With Sack of Money

MALIBU, CA - James Cameron has threatened to bludgeon global warming deniers with a sack of cash. "I'll use stacks of tightly-bound hundreds in a tough canvas bag," said the environmental activist director. "I carry that much around as tip money for my gardeners and servants, so it's no big deal." Calling his critics 'boneheads' for accepting evidence that global warming data has been cooked, Cameron believes all Americans need to lower their carbon footprint and accept a much lower standard of living if the earth is to be saved from anthropogenic climate change. At his double mansion in the Malibu hills, neighbor to Mel Gibson and Olivia Newton-John, Cameron boldly challenged deniers. "Come on up here and I'll hold your head underwater in one of my two swimming pools. Or I'll slam my huge front gate on your hand. Or smash you over the head with a painting that costs more than your pathetic Toyota RAV. I'll do whatever it takes to fight for the earth and bring about sustainable living standards in others."


jeepakistan said...

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Ling Carter said...

Thanks. Stop back anytime. We're always satirical.