I was shopping in David Jones today and had this conversation with a salesperson ....
"Oh so you're holidaying in Egypt, is that cos you're an archaeologist?"

"Well, yeah it interests me and there is that connection"

"Have you read any of such and such's* books?"

"Err no I haven't"

"She regresses people and takes them back to an ancient library where they retell history, it's fascinating and she has even said that beneath the Pyramids there are tunnels, you can't see the tunnels because they're constructed from energy, but they're there"

Now because I was brought up to be polite, even to people who believe in the power of crystals and of the 'energy tunnels beneath the pyramids' I simply smiled and nodded and even took the piece of paper on which she wrote the authors name and the names of her books. Now if I hadn't been brought up to be as I am I might have said this....

"The what tunnels? Are you insane? Do you seriously believe there are tunnels made from fucking energy under the pyramids? What is it with you crazy bastards and your fascination with the damn pyramids. They were built as tombs by men who wanted to continue to flop their todgers out even after they died. 'Check out the size of mine Ramses'. That's all! Oh and as for regressing? That you even give that shit some credence means you've probably regressed yourself. And when I say yes I am an archaeologist, what on earth makes you think I'll be agreeing with you when you tell me this stuff?"

But I didn't say any of that, because that would have been rude, instead I just stared at her nodding and wondered if she was single, because she was cute. I'm a bad person aren't I? Anyway, I'm outta here and I'm off to the land of limestone lego blocks. I'll report instantly any energy leaks from beneath the Pyramids, not sure how much blogging I'll be doing, probably heaps but I wont know until I know. Now say hello to my camel....


*I'm not using the authors name because google sees all and I will just attract nut jobs to the comments section.


Anonymous said…
"The what tunnels? Are you insane?

That's right , tow the line , put us off the sent , we , the people , know that you elbow patched , bearded glorified history teachers ,
are hiding these energy tunnels from us , till you translate the
'' how to fly a pyramid '' manual .
huh , I say ....

Did you say cute ....

Ya shoulda used the ol' '' wanna see my pyramid collection '' line .

I thought i taught you better and you might've got a discount at DJ's .-Reb.
stu said…
even with all of my training sensei and despite her cuteness, I just couldn't get past the energy theory. Major obstacle to our future together.
She was totally coming on to you. Secret hidden tunnels? Hello?

I'm sure if you decipher the "author" and "book names" it will reveal her name and phone number.

I am puzzled by her first question though.. do only archaeologists holiday in Egypt?
stu said…
Ha! That'd be right, I never read women correctly...

Nah the first bit was about the 3rd sentence, she asked me why I wasnt working etc etc and it went on from there...

hey she WAS coming on to me DOH!
It's not too late to invite her along. She can show you those tunnels.. (insert lewd winking and rib elbowing here)
Anonymous said…
I was wondering how she knew you were an archaeologist ,
either you weere wearing your '' have you hugged an archaeologist '' t-shirt


you are very important in W.A. , have many leather bound books and smell of mahogany .

And how did you not get flooded in //

stu said…
I escaped the north pre flood and yes I am very mahogany
Anonymous said…
bored at the airport , r u ?

here's what the east is tweeting about

stu said…
not there yet, leaving in a few hours, just unpacking all the stuff I dont really need ;)

Oh and the above link NSFW folks...ha

yep, Football players of all codes, our nations finest :)
Anonymous said…
So long, farewel , Gesundheit and goodbye -reb.