Monday, April 03, 2006

Poll results

If Ted Finchem were to make an announcement today (thinking about our poll)to put-to-bed arguments on what to do about course length, it would go something like this:

Ted: "As we stand here today, the PGA is the strongest it's ever been thanks to improvements in equipment, golf balls, and injectible steroids. Corporate sponsorship stands at an all-time high thanks to our newest employee Jack Abramoff."

Joe Public: "Hey Ted, what about us? How can you say you're doing so well, and yet I can't take my son to a tournament without taking out a loan the size of the New Hampshire budget? Where's the love?

Ted: "Well, we have a plan for that."

Joe Public: "And another thing Ted, How is it that you can get 4+ hours of coverage on the major networks? Who's watching besides the guys over at Comcast? Aren't they going to wise-up and move programming elsewhere? I mean who has the time to watch Mickelson go to -28, lapping the field. I'd much prefer to watch the LPGA...and don't think that stations didn't find that out this weekend with an amazing Nabisco tournament.

Ted: "Sir, the LPGA is a 4-letter word in my book, so please control your language.
By the way I have a report just in that Mickelson made another eagle to go to 30 under. Isn't that just fantastic?!
As far as viewership goes, I'll be honest, it's down....and keeps on going down. There has been an exact divergence of Golf vs NASCAR viewers.
People have spoken, and have said they would rather watch compelling TV. They compare watching a golf event with re-arranging their sock drawers.
As The Commish, I am instituting some new rules that will take effect the day after the Masters. Here they are:
1) All par 5's will be reduced to par 4's
2)Minimum lenth of rough will be 5".
3) All players will be required to drink a 6 of PBR per day.
4) All players will be restricted from any workouts.

It has become apparent that viewers like to watch the expanding waistlines of the Daly's, Gore's and Holmes' of the world, so we're going to give the viewers what they want. The restrictions on the courses will bring shot-making back into the game. The combination of everything will give viewers something to cheer about."

So there you have it! Thanks for participating in the poll...see, you've made a difference!! :-)

This week's poll is Who will win the Masters? I know, not creative...but I've got $20 on Goosen at 13-1 odds. So I'm intrigued.

One caveat: my mini-pool is from a free-website tool company. I can use their template for free, with the understanding that they hit me with pop-ups. I have a pop-up blocker, so I never see them. I don't want to annoy anyone, so please turn on your blockers before you vote.

Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,


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