Goblins and Friends

Adventures Among the Door-Breakers


Someone had to do something.



Guess which one the Goblins went for?



Oh, it is on Mister Door-Breaker.



How To Kill A Falcor

On their way to stop a horrible conspiracy to kill a young Janni called Lament, the Goblins came across a small tower. They deduced (guessed) that their enemies would have to come this way to get to the latest place they planned to search for Lament in. They chose to wait at a place called the Brazier Tower. Unfortunately, Goblins can’t spell, so they thought it was the Brassiere Tower and built another tower next to it, so the Brassiere they made would fit. Afterwards, they settled in to wait in ambush for their enemies.

However, waiting was so boring that they decided to set up some Cannon Towers while they were there and made them invisible too. Now completely unable to find where they’d parked their cannon towers, the Goblins were looking around asking their Cannons to come out when they noticed a large furry dragon-thing in the sky, flying without a care. Being bloodthirsty idiots, they decided to kill it with the cannons for entering their airspace without a permit so Fevva and Mogmurch proceeded to double crit the poor thing with said cannons. This (just) didn’t kill it and it turned tail and fled. However, Gravy wouldn’t let a filthy dragon get away, so he fired a rope arrow at it, managed to latch on to it and was towed away behind the beast. Poog and Mogmurch grabbed him and were towed after him.

This proved to be problematic as, dragons not being stupid, the thing decided to shake the goblins off in a show of aerobatics. Poog lost his grip, but grabbed the rope. Mogmurch lost his grip and got tangled in the rope by his ankle. Seeing this had failed to get rid of the little green pests, the thing breathed fire on the Goblins’. This did little to Mogmurch and Poog since they were either resistant or immune, but Gravy took some damage. However, the rope caught fire too and all the goblins were holding on to it. Gravy tried his very best to cling to the inferno that was his rope, but couldn’t hold on. Also the rope burned through. Down tumbled Gravy, who jumped onto his Broom of Flying. Down tumbled Poog, who managed to Air Walk to safety. Down tumbled Mogmurch, who opened up his filthy Alchemist wings and caught a thermal. Poog managed to get over to Mogmurch, who still had his leg caught in a coil of the rope, and the Alchemist was messing with his Deck of Random Things. Many objects plummeted to the world below until a huge white whirly thing burst out from a card and dragged Mogmurch away. Poog grabbed the rope and hung on for dear life. This is what they got from the card, running at full power. Poog got thrown off, and got his leg caught in the rope attached to Mogmurch and G-LOC’d, but Mogmurch managed to steer the careening thing straight into the beast.

To say the explosion was big would be an understatement. The mushroom cloud could be seen from the Cannon Towers, four miles away.

The dragon-thing was gone. Unfortunately, so was the consciousness of the two Goblins involved in the collision. Both dropped from their high elevation and had no way to stop it. Thankfully, Poog was immune to the huge fireball and only nearly died when he drilled into the snowy ground at Mach 2. Mogmurch turned into Brogin from the fire damage and splatted into the ground, which turned him back into a badly-burned, but still alive, Mogmurch.

After being blown up, and slapping into the ground, poor Poog was on top of one of Mogmurch’s cards when it suddenly fountained a huge amount of gold directly into his spine, nearly completing the task of murdering him.

We Be Gobins! (not you smelly lot)

Goblins chew and goblins bite.
Goblins cut and goblins fight.
Stab the dog and cut the horse,
Goblins eat and take by force!

Goblins race and goblins jump.
Goblins slash and goblins bump.
Burn the skin and mash the head,
Goblins here and you be dead!

Chase the baby, catch the pup.
Bonk the head to shut it up.
Bones be cracked, flesh be stewed,
We be goblins! You be food!

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