Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Ostrich Month

I'm sorry if I haven't returned an email or phone call from you lately. My phone spends a chunk of its time now as a white noise machine. 

Ok, ok, I'm avoiding you. I'm not avoiding you, really. Just responsibility. The responsibility of taking in one more piece of info. Or answering one more question. Or making one more decision. But it's not just one more. It's another. And then another. And then another. Because life doesn't stop. Even if you're mostly sleeping in 2 hour chunks. And having your ears filled with marathon crying sessions.

And the older kids don't become quieter when a new baby comes home. Oh no no no. They still want to monologue constantly, if they're HurricaneDebbie. If you ask her to be quiet, she'll drop to a whisper, but not actually stop producing words. They still want to take 200 words to express a 5 word idea, if they're MeToo. (Good gracious, child, GET TO THE POINT!) And they need to have constantly self-edited conversations if they're HeyMama. (Her constant on-line/mid-sentence revisions take serious concentration to follow if you've only been sleeping in short bursts.)

And they don't need less from you. Or argue with each other less. Or compete with one another less for your attention. Oh no no no.

So I've been avoiding email. And phone. And messaging. Because my brain hurts from the sound and the constant demands to interact, to listen, to answer, to be on-demand. So I've stuck my head in the sand, like the proverbial ostrich, and ignored anything that could be immediately ignored.

So I'm sorry for ignoring you. Tomorrow marks LittleFritter's 1 month birthday. I need to emerge from the haze, get my head out of the sand, and become a responsible, reliable human again. Or at least try...

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