A Most Enchanted Easter Fool’s Day


Since Easter and April Fool’s converged this year both the Easter Bunny and the farcical Fool decided to mystically meld their holidays into one. The Easter Bunny would distribute eggs that weren’t quite what they seemed beside the normal with candy and small gifts. This meant rotten eggs weren’t just for those on the beautiful bunnies naughty list! Hopefully, there would still be eggs containing powers, wishes, and magical objects as well. In unison, the April Fool would work to employ an Easter theme into many of his alarming exploits. Thankfully that meant more bearable pranks for us!

In the morning we attended Easter services at our associate Father Tom’s Church Of Holy Light. He is our exorcist and source of top-flight holy water. Naturally, as usual, we fell asleep in the pews but bolted awake as the Easter Egg Hunt began outside. It was a mild sunny early spring day as we cheered the kids on. Suddenly the Werehare Easter Bunny showed up in his 6 foot tall humanoid furry white rabbit form to give us gifts as a reward for a fine fight against the frightening forces of darkness. Other than us nobody knew his true identity and merely assumed it was a guy dressed up in an ultra-realistic rabbit suit. One way to tell he’s the real deal is the fact that there’s always a group of baby chicks and bunnies following him around. You can also clearly see the sparkling reality in his large eyes that can range from blue to green in color.

The Bunny was far more jovial than usual as he kept giggling like a school girl. He gave everyone at Mystic Investigations an Easter gift basket. My basket exploded leaving confetti and silly string all over me. However, there was some sweet chocolaty goodness at the bottom of the basket. Luckily I wasn’t the person got chocolate cream and pink glitter spattered all over them! The Easter Bunny chuckled and said,”Sorry guys but it’s April Fools Day!” I asked where the April Fool was but he had no idea.

Later the enchanted Bunny invited us back to Easterville, his cloaked village in the Black Forest of Germany. We eagerly agreed since we assumed we might avoid the April Fool. The only way to get to his village instantly was to follow him through his global network of rabbit holes that are in actuality wormholes courtesy of Mother Earth Goddess Gaia. The Easter Bunny transformed to his normal small rabbit form and hopped in. His chicks and bunny helpers jumped in after him. Rebecca conjured up a spell to miniaturize her Mystic Sphere while inside so it would fit into the Easter Bunny’s rabbit holes. So some of us instantly took a trip to his village in the Black Forest of Germany. Nothing new for us here! Rebecca made a point of saying we could only be miniaturized a couple of times a year before it caused bodily damage. So we couldn’t just visit the bunny on a whim!

The village was a fun-filled community of medieval buildings splashed into a kaleidoscope of colors. At the center was a giant egg-shaped castle that was the Easter Bunny’s home and the Capitol Of Easter. The streets were glittering surfaces of varying bright colors that almost resembled linoleum flooring. Even the skies were mystical with pink fluffy clouds courtesy of a magical illusion. Bunnies of all colors, yellow chicks, and kids ran about cheering with glee as their parents looked on. Obviously, these were all people in the paranormal know like us. We enjoyed all manner of amusement rides located about the village including the egg roller coaster. An egg-shaped car rolled on tracks that winded in and around the entire village including underground. Eventually, we retired to Egg Castle for Easter dinner. Amazingly the Demi-Angel Santa Claus, his wife Holly, and their kids made an appearance to pay homage to their good friend Eggbert, the Bunnies real name. As darkness covered the happy village a spectacular fireworks show lit the sky with ecstatic Easter imagery. We then bid the Easter Bunny farewell before popping back through the bunny hole to our home in Woodland Springs, Colorado.

Some of us went to the office to deal with recent pressing paranormal perplexities while others headed home. What we all found was everywhere loaded with crazy bunnies hopping about while rotten eggs rained from the ceiling! The April Fool teleported to each location in his jester costume laughing like a loon while bellowing,”Happy April Fool’s Day! Believe it or not, this wasn’t as bad as what he did to us other years! Thankfully he didn’t touch our website. As usual, everything disappeared and went back to normal at the stroke of Midnight! Well except for when our resident vampire Drake Alexander was teleported buck naked into Times Square New York one second before the Witching Hour! Being transported places doesn’t reverse on April 2nd for some reason? He sped into a subway tunnel at super speed and hypnotized some guy to give him his clothing. Then Drake arrived back home the next day after he caught the first available flight. At least now we have another year before being pranked again! | Twitter |

Apocalyptic Abominable Snow Savage

The Monstrous Abominable Snowman YetiThe recent round of snow storms brought another Abominable Snowman into our midst. The Snowmen, aka Yeti, often travel with storms to wherever they take them. A couple had parked their car on the shores of Luminary Lake to enjoy the nocturnal scenery which includes the lakes unique iridescent lights derived from unknown mystical properties. It was near the home of my colleagues Xavier Remington & Rebecca Abernathy.  It was some time after Midnight as the blizzard came about suddenly, and the couple was unable to drive their car away from the lake due to misjudgement of the amount of snow which had rapidly accumulated.  They had called tried to call for help but cell phone reception was unstable.  So they accepted spending the night in their car which at least had a full tank of gas.  It didn’t seem like a big deal since they could hike to the nearby homes in the morning for help.  However as they began to doze off they were shocking awakened from their slumber by a hellish other worldly growl. It was an Abominable Snowman who immediately lifted the car, and began shaking it violently. He tossed in down, and began breaking the glass as he clawed at the terrified couple. All hope seemed to be lost as the white furry beast of at least nine feet tall, and 800 pounds was hell bent on killing the helpless couple who knew nothing of the world of the supernatural.

Rebecca Abernathy, a demi-mermaid white witch, had been at a meeting with her coven who ended their sacred ceremony with a Midnight prayer to the Goddesses. The weather was too bad to take her pink Porsche home so she took the Mystic Sphere instead. As she flew though the heavy snow, and strong winds in her transparent pink energy sphere her Mermaid sense picked up on danger afoot.  Soon she heard the screams of terror amid the roars of an unholy beast. She began her descent from the clouds above, and through the snow she could make out the form of a Yeti, aka an Abominable Snowman.  She landed nearby, and began shooting glittering green, and blue volleys of magical energies toward the great white furry abomination. Unfortunately it didn’t do much but push him back a bit since the Yeti have an immunity to magic like their cousins the Sasquatch. Rebecca got around that by using objects as weapons. She used her magic to send a tree hurling at the pile of albino fur thrusting him into the lake crashing through the ice. However he leaped out with a roar that makes a lion sound like a sissy. He then picked up the car, and threw it into the lake with a sinister look on his face. Unfortunately before that the couple couldn’t get out because the doors were damaged by the Yeti. The broken jagged glass was unpassable as well. She launched another tree at him but he bolted toward her at lightening speed knocking her to the ground as he clawed at her. The couple’s cries for help could be heard while they sank into the dark ice ridden murky depths Rebecca struggled with the angry Snowman using every ounce of her Mermaid strength to fend him off. Her eyes then glowed bright blue as she tapped into her Mermaid powers of hydrokinesis, and caused a huge tidal wave to engulf them in a torrent of icy cold water washing them both into the lake. As she sunk, now weakened by the use of so much magic, the albino abomination swam toward her making use of his infrared night vision. Rebecca could see quite well in the nearly dark waters as well.  Luckily the mystical luminosity of the lake would show itself in the distant waters thereby providing some measure of dim light.  Although the disturbed waters bore no light.  In the unique underwater language of Atlantean, which almost sounded like a series of Dolphin clicks, and whistles, she called upon Skaldi, the Norse Goddess of winter, to strengthen a power she’s never really used before. The power of Hydro-Cryokinesis. She began freezing the water in front of her trapping the Snowman in an ice cube but it kept growing engulfing her, and the car with the drowning couple. A whole region of the lake was frozen solid, and all was silent except for the raging snow storm above the water.

Xavier sensed something was wrong nearby at Remington Manor, and he ran to the lake with his magical sword he acquired at the Mctavish Academy Of Magical Sciences in Scotland last year. I was strolling about the warm spring like parts of the Mystical Forest when I sensed a vibe coming from the Earth which happens when near the Heart Of The Mystical Forest. I then had a vision of Rebecca, and ran to Luminary Lake. Julia, our resident psychic, had a vision that woke her from a sound sleep but the phone lines were down, and cell reception was bad. I leaped on to the lake and began pounding into the ice with my bare fists but they were to deeply embedded to reach them quickly.  Xavier was thrashing away at the ice with his sword but I told him to try, and tap into the hidden powers that we had sensed lied within. Unfortunately I didn’t have my sword with me but I knew not how to tap into his dark demonic powers nor would I want to. I then remembered the mystical egg the Easter Bunny had left me with which I was carrying in my pocket as a good luck charm. It was a sparkling golden egg about the size of a small Robin egg with emerald glittering trees, and pink flowers on it. I sensed it had power, and I threw the egg into the hole I had pounded in the ice, and focused on warm happy spring thoughts as the egg glowed, and the ice began to melt. However it wasn’t enough for such a huge ice expance. I then retrieved the egg, and Xavier plunged his sword in the ice as I placed the egg directly on the crystal embedded in his sword which then lit a holy bright light that burned me as the egg began glowing a soothing gold light which lessened the pain. A massive energy surge then melted a good swath of the lake, and shore causing the ice to collapse beneath us. Both of us swam down into the now pleasantly warm waters amid the falling snow, and gusting winds. Xavier got to Rebecca who was barely conscious as the supernatural Snowman swam toward them not phased by his freezing episode. I intervened, and punched the Yeti with such force that he was launched from the water on to the shore. I then helped Xavier get Rebecca to the surface. Once there she muttered that a couple was drowning in a car. I dove back down, found the car, and single handedly lifted it to the surface. I then proceeded to drag it through the water as I swam toward shore. Once there I ripped off one of the doors, and realized that the couple was dead. I couldn’t hear a pulse nor breathing. Their blood smelled of fresh death. Suddenly the Yeti grabbed me from behind, and tossed me over the tree line into the forest.  I crashed through several layers of the canopy cracking wood violently before I hit the soil with a loud thud.

Xavier had lost his sword in the water, and was taunting the furry furious figure who was looking to eat the corpses of the couple. Rebecca lie weak nearby as the Snowman charged Xavier who exposed his belt laden with silver Ninja Stars which he launched at the Abominable Snowman causing him to shriek in pain. However he pulled them out, and was about to swipe Xavier to rest in peace but I ran back in the nick of time to hop upon the Yeti, and sink my teeth into his neck to suck away the life energy of his blood. He struggled madly as his rage filled roar deafened us all. He threw me off but I now had his rage filled strength surging through my bloodstream as I pummeled the ever loving hell out of him causing blood to splatter about wildly. I finally snapped his neck, and he lay motionless. As I growled madly doing a muscular pose toward Rebecca, and Xavier ready to mindlessly attack under the physical, and mental effects of the Abominable Snowman blood, Xavier saw the oval bulge in my pocket. The Easter Egg that I placed back in my pocket as we had sunk in the water after the ice melted. Xavier bolted toward me, did a front roll, and sprung up to punch me with some blessed silver knuckles with holy crosses on it. I hit the side of the car due to his surprise power punch, and Xavier ripped the egg from my pocket. Xavier wasn’t sure what to do with it so he charged me again, punched me in the neck, and then crammed it into my mouth. I naturally bit down on it causing it to burst into a explosion of bright yellow light that thew Xavier away from me as I hit the ground with golden energy rays surging forth from all over my body.

My rage was gone.  Now replaced by a sense of serenity I never felt before.  In fact I never felt more alive as dark green shrubs, and a rainbow array of flowers sprung forth along with the cold snow turning into refreshing rain amid the drastically warm air. Rebecca immediately got up smiling, and the couple was resurrected by the spirit of Easter it seems. Regrettably the Yeti was resurrected as well but he was oddly silent, and just stared at everyone for a bit before running away into the night. Amazingly enough the couples car was even repaired to perfect working order. I never seen magic do that before. So everyone went home happy, and healed.

Once back at my house I began walking up to my bed chamber when I felt an odd tingling as I walked past the magical crystal in which the spirit of Meistiensos was stored. He was my dark vampire grandfather who I was forced to kill.  A vampire who seemed to redeem himself in the dark void of the spirit realm, and now wished to become a Merman as he was an Atlantean who missed the Mermaid transformation as Atlantis sank into the ocean so many thousands of years ago.  I felt oddly drawn to the mystical crystal which I had previously passed everyday without thought.  In inexplicably picked up the crystal, and it began emitting a kaleidoscope of lights as I felt all my new found Easter energy being sucked away. My hand was frozen on to the crystal, and I couldn’t let it go. It suddenly exploded in my hand, and a ball of light floated above me as I hit the floor weakened. That light then formed into Meistiensos who appeared happy, and surprised as he said,”I’m back! Thank you so much Drake my son!” I was quite shocked by this turn of events.  He then clenched his stomach in agony as he fell to his knees, and screamed he was starving. Tarkington, my Butler, ran up from his room in the basement to witness the chaos. I told him to get some food that I keep for human guests. Tarkington handed Meistiensos a protein bar.  He started to eat it but instead spit it out as I witnessed fangs extend from his mouth.  I had no idea what manner of being he could be manifested from nothing but his spirit form. It never occurred to me he could be a vampire again. He then violently pulled Tarkington to him as he growled, and bit into the Butler’s neck draining him of blood so fast that I couldn’t stop him. Tarkington lied dead as Meistiensos rose up, and declared,”Yes indeed my Grandson I’m back!” He laughed heartily, and crashed through an outside wall at light speed disappearing in to the night.

I quickly went to Tarkington, bit into my wrist, and let my blood flow into his mouth hoping it wasn’t to late to heal him.  I was hoping not only the vampire properties would heal but also any of the Easter resurrection powers that might be left within me.  Luckily minutes later his heart began to beat, and he coughed as his lungs became operational again.  Within an hour he was thankfully good as new.  I now had to tell the others, including my vampire Mother Duanna away in Turkey, that Meistiensos was back.  The real question was whether he had turned to the dark side again, or if he was simply under the influence of the all consuming hunger of being born again?

Electrifying Evil Easter Engagement











Update: Anti-Christ Was Born April 2015!