Tuesday, June 16, 2009

4 Ladies Only

Ladies, I wonder just how many of ya out there, besides myself that is, have experienced this annoyin' shitty toilet caper crap (no pun intended) while at work or at home with yer S.O. (which I myself ain't got anymore but we'll forget about that for a moment)...

Allow me to set the scene if I may:

Yesterday mornin' I awoke at 6:00 a.m. to yet another day of non-stop thunder-boomin' heavy-duty rains, which wasn't a big plus in my book to begin with and which therefore made me kinda sorta even more mean than usual. Not to mention the fact that I was feelin' shitty all weekend long to begin with, but we'll forget about that too for a moment.

So I damn near swim my way over to work and begin my day. By 9:30 I've gotta pee so damn bad it hurts, so I run, not walk, my way outta the office and down the second floor hallway to get to the ladies room. We've only got two lousy stalls in that 1940's era bathroom but hey, it beats a blank, and what's better is that both of 'em are empty. Wow, ya mean I actually get to pick 'n choose which cold-ass toilet seat I'm gonna go flop my fat ass down on to pee? Whadda way to start a Monday!

So as I'm makin' my way over to the chosen stall I suddenly see that the toilet seat is covered with piss....which really pisses my ass off (another no pun intended)....so I move on over to the next stall. Now, wouldn't ya know it (and just my freakin' luck at that) but the other toilet is filled with toilet paper which nobody even bothered flushin'. NOW I'm MAD. And I'm not gonna take it anymore. I've been dealin' with this same kinda shit for over 7 years now, and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of all them nasty-ass bitches who work on my floor who don't know how to piss on a toilet, how to flush their own shit and worse yet, not even wash their hands afterwards. And ya know what kills me even more? I have always had major doubts that our nightly "cleaning people" actually clean those disgustin' piss-ridden shit filled toilets. Oh yeah, they may dump the garbage and refill the friggin' toilet paper, but that's about ALL they do. And it highly irks the shit outta me.

So yeah, MeanDonnaJean has had enuff. MeanDonnaJean is on a mission.

So, pickin' the lesser of two evils (cuz I sure ain't gonna clean up anybody else's piss off a toilet seat, especially since it don't belong to anybody related to me and certainly not before I've even hadda chance to getta 2nd cup of coffee in me), I go into toilet-paper-wadded-up stall #2 and I "hang it high" to relieve my achin' bladder. At this stage of the game I ain't gonna take the chance of flushin' afterwards, so I simply wash up 'n head on back to the office.

I get back to my desk, sit down, and grab a sheet of 8 1/2 x 11 white copy paper and a thick black marker. In nice big bold block letters I write:


then I put "MDJ's Official Bathroom Rules" into the copier to make another, I put two pieces of tape on both sheets and I head on back down the hallway to slap both those suckers up on the inside of each bathroom stall door.

Oh yes, I sure 'nuff did. I'm such a rebel ;-)

Anyway, I dunno what to expect in the comin' days....I dunno if the "cleaning lady" or even some other righteous-ass pompous bitch is gonna rip 'em down in anger (or shame?), but alls I can say is that they were both still up there when I left the job today.

Score 1 for MDJ!

1 comment:

Rob said...

How is it that ladies are dirtier them men. My army barracks and college dorm facilities were not even that bad.
May I suggest a solutions for your dilemma? (DEPENDS UNDER GARMENTS).
These adult diapers may be your only hope. Good luck!!