Saturday=schooling day

So Saturday rolled around and I started praying for Alzheimer's, not for me but for the DOR. If she had "sudden onset Alzheimer's" she would forget about Saturday being schooling day. Well I found out she still is in possession of whatever faculties she currently has and showed up with her tools of torture...she calls them toys.
So after working with the carrot stick she breaks out the apple stick with a grocery sack tied to it. I don't care if that darn bag is tied to something with the word apple in it I don't want to play!
I quit blowing marbles and she stopped waving it around. Then she started up again...what will it take to make the bag go away?
Then she wanted to play "put your nose here". She can put her own nose on the bag and if she is lucky while she is bending over to touch the bag I won't shove her over. I am NOT touching that bag! The DOR is wearing a glove on one hand. No that isn't a tribute to a weird rock star, it is because when I had my fall-apart I gave her right hand one heck of a rope burn. The skin on her hand is peeling and she didn't want to tear her hand up anymore than it already is. If a bag is so good why didn't she wrap that around he hand, hmmmm? I think she is scared of the bag to, that is why it is tied at the end of a six foot long stick.
The DOR reminds me that she has peppermints in her pocket. She holds some in her hand and leads me around making me follow the bag. She stops and waits for me to touch the bag.
I must admit I thought about it, she had a lot of peppermints. The best I could come up with was standing still without blowing marbles while she waved the bag around. I did a lot of licking and chewing-this bag stuff is hard. By the time we were done my heart was racing and I was a bit sweaty.
You think I had suffered enough...but noooooo. The DOR is sneaky, she tied grocery bags above all of the feed tubs. See the evil thing over my tub? Does that seem fair? I am going to starve to death. I was eating some hay that was on the ground, but that isn't going to be enough. Harley and Salty don't mind the bags. They are either really brave or really dumb. I think Salty is brave and Harley is just a pretty boy and doesn't know enough to be afraid.
I figured out how not to starve. If I stand between Harley's and Salty's feed tubs they will toss out enough that I won't die of starvation. I may become weak, too weak to save myself from the evil grocery sack. I am hoping before I reach the point of no return the DOR will remove the bags.
Enjoy your day and don't forget to hug your DOR


Andrea said...

Jack, you had me cracking up with this one. The apple stick!! LOL!! I love it. The torture devices, oh dear!! LOL
I loved the sack and sarvation thing too, oh too funny!!

Sorry, I will stop laughing. I know you don't like the sack, but it will get better I promise. And I know your DOR will not let you starve. *chuckle*.

I hope you get some hay, and don't become too weak!!

Cheryl said...

Ha,ha, ha, ha, ha! Jack, your DOR is two steps ahead of you! And, I'm SURE you won't starve! Hmmm...I'm going to have to do this with Cali and Scout!

Pony Girl said...

Jack, I just loved this post! I laughed out load! Good idea of you DOR to use the plastic bags. I did some of that last summer, but I want to do more. I want to get one of the Buck Brannaman sticks w/a flag on it. How do you think you'd like that?
Mostly, I just LOVED seeing pics of your handsome spotted rumpous!

Cactus Jack Splash said...

Pony Girl,
The DOR has a three foot stick with a bright pink flag on it...I don't like it either, but it isn't as bad as the bag.
Thanks for the complement about my rumpous. It could slowly be fading away if the DOR doesn't take pity on me.


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