Wiping Wonders

(This blog post is dedicated to Stephanie Kincaid. Told you I would!)

Are you a buncher or a folder?

It's an age old question that has troubled the most scatterbrained of men since the invention of the WC.

Do you bunch your toilet paper or do you fold it about your hand before you do the deed?

Now, before you get all wiggly and squirmy about this topic, let me say that I am going somewhere with this, so I ask that you bear with me as usual. So, back to the question on everyone's lips: Are you a buncher or a folder? Be honest now, because in the end (every pun intended) it says a lot about a person.

If you have ever listened to Lori Titus and myself on Flashes in the Dark Radio, then you know that I always ask redonculous questions that when you think about them, really define someones personality. The same applies to this gem of a question. Are you a buncher or a folder?

*listens to your answer and taps chin* Very interesting. Yes, very enlightening. You have revealed much about yourself with that answer. Allow me to explain.

According to New York psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle, folders prefer their lives to be ordered and organized. Which means folders are meticulous and cautious. They pay heavy attention to detail and want to make sure all bits are clean before moving onto the next task. Fold, fold, fold, wipe. Repeat until the squares are clean.

Dr. Gilda Carle then says bunchers are talkative, creative types who aren't afraid to voice their opinions. Bunchers don't have time to fool with the ritual of folding. They bunch, wipe and go! They are confident in their ability to get it done without fuss, sure that their rump is clean as a whistle without all the worries of that folding nonsense.

I have seen this debate rage on several forums, and it seems that the folders are very vehement about their usage of toilet paper, feeling that bunchers are a dirty lot who might experience finger slippage if they aren't more careful. Bunchers on the other hand seem more laid back about the issue, just glad to have toilet paper at all.

Dr Carle goes on to say that folks who use tons of paper in one wipe are extravagant types who spare no expense when shopping. But if you prefer to use as few squares as you can get away with then you're probably frugal and have a hard time expressing your emotions.

And I say you probably have a dirty ass too!

So the next question that seems to follow this one is even weirder:
When you wipe, do you stand or sit?

For more information on this delicate topic, check out this handy instructional guide:

How to wipe your butt

There are even a few youtube vids about it!

Later taters!