Saturday, January 16, 2010

My top Eleven list....

Top eleven things to know if you suck as a nurse but are relegated to be a nurse anyway, kicking and screaming:

#11. Do not leave the hospital until you twice interrogate every single doctor, nurse and candystripper you see  about what you should do with the heart patient at home.

#10. Have stuff ready for the heart patient to do, ie. laptop, books, magazines, camera,
tissues, spirometer and TV, so he doesn't bug you all day. (because he WILL!)

#9. Get a Netflix subscription. (In this case a gift from a dear friend!) Put 400 movies into the movie queue.

#8. Drink wine.

#7. Put all pills into a teeny-weeny, small plastic cup before administering to the heart patient, so they all get swallowed. (This doesn't explain the pink pill that was found on the couch today.)

#6. Tell heart patient you are going to the Post Office (in our case) to get all his new get well cards because you know how good it makes him feel to open them. (**Mostly it gets you out of the house so you don't have to listen to all the weird grunts and groans for a while....)

#5. Move out of your own pillow top bed with the heated mattress pad for the foreseeable future and onto the couch in the next room. Plan on it. Live with it.

#4. Keep a detailed  chart of when all the medicines were given. (Take a few yourself.)

#3. Drink wine.

#2. Plan to get right up again every single time you sit down to get, move, find or throw out something.

#1. Two tablets of Senecol followed by 10 dried prunes in the morning make for an interesting day.