10 Secrets to Keep From Your Mate


In general, keeping secrets from your mate can come back to bite you. Just ask Tiger Woods. But there are exceptions to this rule. Here are some secrets worth keeping in a relationship

1. The sacrifices you’ve made.

You skipped dinner with friends to attend your mate’s office party. You sold your golf clubs to afford your honey’s birthday gift. Don’t ruin your good deed by acting like a martyr.

2. Your partner makes the bed wrong.

Or loads the dishwasher wrong. Or washes the cars wrong. Or whatever. Unless you like doing all the housework yourself, just be thankful there’s someone to share the load.

3. You hate the gift.

My husband recently surprised me with a pair of new shoes. They weren’t what I would have picked out, but I decided to keep quiet and wore them to work. My co-workers kept complimenting the shoes, and I realized they were onto something. I can’t tell you how many times this has happened when my husband buys me clothing. It takes me awhile to warm up to the items because they’re not necessarily my style. But he loves the way I look in them, and isn’t that what matters? Besides, complain about a gift and there’ll be no more where that came from.

4. You can’t stand your mate’s mother/best friend/favorite sweatshirt.

Particularly in new relationships, tread lightly. If you issue an ultimatum, you’ll likely be the one who gets kicked to the curb.

5. How often you get hit on.

Telling your beloved about every compliment will only make him or her jealous and lead to low self-esteem. As long as you’re not returning the advances, keep that info to yourself. Now, if you’re tempted to stray from the relationship, that’s another story. You definitely should divulge these feelings to your partner before the fantasy becomes reality.

6. Your clothes are uncomfortable.

A guy gives his jacket to his girlfriend when it’s cold out; of course, he’s cold, too. A woman wears sky-high heels on a date; of course her feet hurt. But don’t go ruining the moment by complaining about how uncomfortable you are. Sometimes it’s best to suffer in silence.

7. The details of your romantic history.

Go through a rundown of exes, but keep the sordid details to yourself.

8. You’re bored.

There are times in a relationship when you will be dragged to your mate’s favorite activity more times than you’d like. You will watch TV shows you hate. You’ll eat at restaurants you hate. But you do these things because you love your partner. If the relationship is healthy and balanced, then your sweetie will return the favor for you. So take one for the team, try to get into it and you may even find yourself enjoying, say, Star Trek conventions.

9. I told you so.

Say it in your head all day long, but resist the urge to speak these words aloud. You yourself will be wrong one day, and you won’t want your beloved throwing it in your face.

10. You’re thinking about sex.

Chances are, so is your mate. So go ahead. Stop just thinking about it, and make the first move.

Readers, what other secrets are better left unspoken?

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for Loveawake.com dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.