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Do not see "Legion" - Worst Movie Ever

The title to this blog entry says it all.  This poorly written movie review is a bit scatter-brained.  Please forgive me, as this is largely in part to my still being angry that I spent $10.50 to see one of the worst movies ever made.

For those of you who don't know, "Legion" is a film in which the good Lord has suddenly decided that the human race does not deserve His glory.  God has, therefore, assigned an army of angels to destroy mankind.  But wait, a rouge angel named Michael still has faith in mankind and has come down to Earth to protect a pregnant woman and her unborn child.  The unborn child is, as they so eloquently put it in the movie, "the only hope that mankind has of surviving."  Michael finds the pregnant woman in a desert diner with a band of other folks and together they fight off God's army.  I have serious issues with this movie.

First and foremost, at no point in the movie do they explain HOW the baby is the savior of mankind.    Anyone who has never read, nor written a script before knows that at some point you should explain the plot of the movie.

Question:  How did Michael find the pregnant woman?  Oh wait, they never explain that either.

In the beginning of the movie Jeep (the leading man/hero), says he has found something strange in an old shack behind the diner.  There is no further reference to this mysterious artifact throughout the rest of the film.

Just before Michael faces off with Gabriel (the bad angel) he instructs Jeep (the leading man) to, "find the prophets and learn to read the instructions."  There is no prior mention of prophets, nor instructions.  As a matter of fact, they do not mention them again through the rest of the film. 

At various points of the movie there are feeble attempts at character development.  Each supporting character has a point in the movie where they rant off in a monologue that has zip to do with the progression of the plot.  The only good part of the film, however, is when Charles S. Dutton has his moment.  He's a great actor so he made lemons into lemonade.  It's too bad he dies in the worst way ever.  That kind of brings me to my next point.

There is senseless death in this movie.  I don't mean that to say that there is too much death, or that the death is too graphic.  I mean that to say that everyone who dies in this film does so in a very unclimactic way.  Consider this example:  Imagine you're watching "Road to Perdition" and instead of Jude Law shooting Tom Hanks in the back in the last scene, Tom dies by tripping over a skateboard and falling on a cooking knife. 

During the movie humans become possessed by angels, which turns most of the film into a zombie flick.  Retarded.

The only cool thing about this movie is the angels' wings.  The angels' wings look awesome. 

Look, I could go on and on, but I won't.  I'm sure you can find reviews of this movie that more effectively get the point across scattered about the Internet.  I just wanted you all to know that as long as I live, it will be very difficult for someone to write a movie with more plot holes and worse writing than, "Legion".

IN CONCLUSION:  If you are the kind of person who values both time and money, then don't waste either by seeing this movie.  If you are planning on jumping off a bridge and need one more reason to take the plunge, then this is the movie for you.