Fancying people from a certain background is fairly normal, we all have a type we prefer but racial fetishism is extreme. If you exclusively prefer women of a certain heritage to the extent that anybody else can’t turn you on, it’s often more than just a preference.

When we have a type, we might say we prefer blonde hair or brown eyes. Whether we like slim girls with smaller boobs or more curvy girls, tall or short, busty or thick is up to you. Individual preferences are natural and ultimately there’s usually somebody for everyone.

When it comes to racial fetishism, there can be a fine line between having a preference and discriminating.

What is racial fetishism?

Fetishes are typically understood to be a specific interest for the individual. A fetish is “sexual desire where gratification is linked to a particular object, clothing item, part of the body etc.” Racial fetishism says that your sexual desire is entirely dependent on that person’s racial heritage.

Appearances can be a surface level consideration in dating. Where we just like a certain look, i.e tanned skin and so perhaps prefer women of a coloured heritage rather than Caucasian. This can be normal and healthy if it’s just a casual preference which doesn’t control your life. But some men go to the extreme of exclusively seeking out women of a specific heritage while discriminating against others.

A large part of the problem with racial fetishism, is the psychology that forms the preferences.

Asian women = submissive

One common stereotype around Asian women is the idea that they are more submissive. This is often borne out of cultural perceptions where Asian cultures are patriarchal. Due to men being dominant socially and economically in many Asian countries, women can sometimes be considered second rate and are expected to be submissive.

Due to this attitude, some men choose to date Asian women because they think that women should serve men. In countries such as China where women are often seen but not really heard and marriages are agreed between male family members, this can sometimes appeal.

If a man says he wants an ‘Asian wife’ because she’s more of a home maker, this links into the idea of a woman’s place being in the home while men can freely be part of the wider world. Although each gender has its’ own skills, trying to label women into belonging to a certain sphere is a damaging way of thinking.

In contrast, maybe a man prefers a woman to be Asian because he likes the fine black silky hair which is common amongst Oriental women. In theory, there’s nothing wrong with this so long as he doesn’t degrade or criticise women who don’t have hair like that.

Preferences based on appearance are normal but when it comes to something like the ancient Chinese practice of foot binding, such fetishes can be more problematic. ‘Lotus feet’ injure and damage women for the sexual gratification of men. Such a fetish is unhealthy and wrong.

Racial fetishes in porn

Porn depicts fantasies that the audience will find popular. Often showing women from particular heritages as having different attributes which may appeal. The boundary between fantasy ideals and reality is where things can become difficult.

Often some racial fetish play can link into BDSM culture. Masters and slaves might tie into the African-American slave trade. Often choosing black people to play a submissive ‘slave’ role where they are ‘abused’ by their white Masters in power scenes. This kind of scene would often include racial slurs or some element of historical context to form the plot of the scene being engaged in.

Equally, rape-play might focus on ‘comfort women’ taken prisoner by Japanese soldiers during WWII. Such scenes make women of these backgrounds into a fetish where their exploitation is a source of gratification. This again links into dangerous narratives around Oriental women.

In such cases as these it is fair to say that racial fetishism isn’t entirely ethical. If racial fetishism degrades people based on specific racial features, it isn’t surprising that this is wrong.

How to get over it

Any fetish grows if you continue to explore it while ignoring others. Let’s say you only ate carrots and tell yourself other vegetables are unpleasant. Before long you will automatically dismiss other vegetables altogether and find that you only ‘like’ carrots. Simply because you refuse to try anything else and so don’t really know what you like.

While food preferences are pretty harmless, this can become toxic when applied to dating preferences. If you look at certain women and don’t consider women from other races, it becomes a vicious cycle.

A sensible way to start would be to reduce the amount of time you focus on a chosen race. You should vary what you watch to help find alternatives and stop yourself becoming fixed on a certain type. Sticking to the same kind of porn every time will soon become addictive and could have a numbing effect.

Perhaps you like watching latina porn because you find tanned skin attractive. Rather than watch latina actresses each time, you could watch mixed race women with tanned skin instead. Or deliberately steer yourself towards entirely different porn altogether.

When dating you should try meeting new people from a variety of racial heritages. This is seen as healthier on a biological level by widening the gene pool based on Darwin’s theory of evolution. It will also improve your experiences by simply opening up your horizons.