Wednesday, July 15, 2015

The Reason Why

Oh yeah, I got myself a new bracelet:


I still don't have the other one which is for my left wrist though and I don't really look forward to getting it soon. As per my doctor, I'll get it an hour before THE PROCEDURE. If only I could get away with not having it. I just hope the nurse who'd be attaching it on me is an expert and that my wrist (or the back of my palm/hand) won't end up being sore just because the nurse couldn't it get on the right nerve. (scared)

So what exactly is the reason why I am having a staycation here in the hospital?

I'll be undergoing a bilateral salpingectomy, folks. To put it simply (para iwas nosebleed), i'll be having both of my fallopian tubes removed. Why? They are both blocked (one totally and one partially, talk about being unlucky) and that's why I didn't get pregnant after all these years.  Hopefully this is the ONLY reason why I am not getting pregnant.  I was first diagnosed with this sometime in 2010. Then in 2011 and was given 3 options: 1) still try to conceive the natural way since I have one tube which is partially blocked, 2) unblock both tubes then try to conceive the natural way and 3) do the IVF but to make sure that I won't have ectopic pregnancy, remove the blocked tubes first.   At that time, me and Mr. X were still not together, him being in the UAE and me being here in PH, so we didn't push thru with any of the options. It was only last year when we decided to start seeing a specialist again and know what will be the best option for us.

Last February, I again went thru the same tests and got the same results. It was the third time of getting the same diagnosis and to be honest, I still cried after getting the result. I hated myself and called myself inutil (useless) and asked why on earth am I like this. There's a lot of women out there who get into unwanted pregnancy and some even have their babies aborted. And here I am, wanting to have at least one.  But all things happen for a reason and despite my situation, I am still thankful that there are still ways for us to have our wish granted.  Yes, it will take a lot of time, effort and money but I again I am thankful that at this point, we still have those.  I can still go for the other options but I am not getting any younger. I turned 36 this year and the earlier we can have a baby, the better.

Just looking at this makes me want to ask for patis already

So yes, tomorrow (or today since I am typing this entry the night before and by the time it will be published, I'd be probably in the OR already) I'd be undergoing the operation that will serve as a preparation for the IVF procedure that we plan to undergo before the end of this year.  It is something major, but not risky.  The only thing that I am worried about is the wound as it's going to be an open surgery.  My doctor said I'll have a 6-8in long wound and I really hope my body heals fast as I intend to get back to normal programming as soon as possible. This is the 2nd time that I am being hospitalized but the first one was the time I went through the 2nd HSSG.  I was put on dextrose for hours that time and this time it's going to be longer and I hate it. Who doesn't? 

 Thank you for the free WIFI but no thanks really as it is soooo slow!

Argh,  my 3G is way faster

So, am I scared?  Not really. I'm sure I won't die from the operation anyway but I heard there are instances that people don't get to wake up anymore after having the general anaesthesia.  Hopefully, I won't be one of those. Kiddin' aside, I just really hope that I don't get depressed after the operation after knowing that both my tubes are gone and that my only hope to get pregnant is via IVF, which we all know does not guarantee a 100% success rate.  My doctor said that the highest success rate for my age is 30-35%.  It's hard, but I still try to be positive and to keep trusting in the Lord that He will grant us our wish in his perfect timing. 

a heartfelt message from a very good friend that I will always try to remember

Thank you for all those who have been sending me well-wishes.  This predicament we are going thru becomes a lot lighter because of all your support and prayers.  Thank you very much!


1 comment:

Beauty by Tellie said...

Naluha ako when you were talking about your previous, consistent diagnoses. Also the part where other people get unwanted pregnancies but you who wants one can't conceive... I think it's so brave of you to share this. Wishing you all the best with this operation!

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