Ed Sheeran Hit Justin Bieber In The Face With A Golf Club & It's The Perfect Cautionary Tale

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As someone who's been a longtime fan of Ed Sheeran, I was thrilled when he came out of his year of hiding to promote his upcoming album, Divide. And as it turns out, he's not only giving his fans new music this month — he's also supplying us with one of the greatest (and grossest) stories ever told. Ready? It appears that not too long ago, Sheeran drunkenly hit Justin Bieber in the face with a golf club, and in case you were wondering, this is definitely not something you should try at home.

The story came out during a recent interview the "Shape Of You" singer had with The Guardian, and it's a doozy. Apparently, Sheeran and Bieber — who have been friends and collaborators for awhile now — were hanging out in Japan when Sheeran drank a little much, and somehow, it led to both of them making the epically bad decision to put a new spin on golf.

And when it comes to events like this, it's both fortunate and unfortunate that Sheeran is such a good storyteller, because the way he shares the details is so vivid that there's a good chance you'll squirm a little while you're reading them.

Sheeran told the site:

"We were in Japan. We’d been out to a dive bar. He just drank water and I got hammered. Then we went to a golf course, and he lay on the floor and put a golf ball in his mouth and told me to hit it out of his mouth. I was like, ‘F—k, I need to aim this properly,’ and I swung. And you know in films when someone gets punched, and you hear that fake sound, like a slap? But in real life when someone gets punched, you hear that dull thud, a bit sickening? . . . I’d cracked Justin Bieber right in the cheek with a golf club."

Yeah, I could have done without the vivid description of the sound the golf club made when it came into contact with Bieber's face, but it is what it is. It makes sense that Sheeran was drunk, because agreeing to try to hit a golf ball out of someone's mouth when you are not in any way, shape, or form a professional golfer is a very drunk person thing to do. And when you're drinking, would you really have the best aim for that, anyway?

And what's truly mind blowing about this: Bieber was not drinking at the time. Like, he was sober and thought that this would be a fun activity. How does this happen?! Part of me is upset that video footage of this has not been released, and part of me is relieved, because I'm not sure I'd be able to stop myself from watching and then instantly regretting it.

However, this is a very teachable moment, everyone. Even if it seems like a good idea at the time, the ol' golf ball in the mouth trick is not to be attempted, drunk or sober. Even if you think you'll go viral on Youtube, it is still going to end poorly for you. Let this be a lesson to all of us!

Hopefully, Bieber's cheek was able to heal properly after the incident... and Sheeran wasn't too scarred for life after hearing that noise. If I were either of them, I would never be able to look at a golf club again!