Monday, February 8, 2010

Rabbinic Search Committees: A Community Dating Service




To which my friend commented that it sounds somewhat like dating.


This means the following:




2. The Shidduch should be managed transparently









  1. No posting should be an orphan, so here goes. The analogy is good as far as it goes but it fails to recognize one truly huge difference between marriage and choosing a rabbi for a community shul.

    The kesuba for a real marriage is a one-time offering; you don't review and renegotiate it every few years. The assumption is that once married, you are married for ever. Have any problems? Work them out--you're in it for the long haul.

    This is NOT the assumption when a congregation hires a rabbi. Yes, it would be nice if a long term relationship could be established. But the reality is that many of these rabbi/shul "marriages" end in divorce, the choice of one or both parties. The "kesuba" is only temporary and can be renegotiated.

    True, most shuls would probably prefer not to have to find a new rabbi every three years, but the possibility exists as part of the relationship. You, yourself, left a congregation you were "happily married to" because you found a different "wife" that fit what you needed now.

  2. Hi ProfK,
    Thanks for taking pity on this post. I 100,000% percent agree with you; the shul-rabbi relationship cannot be a marriage, and for many more reasons relating to the health of expectations on both sides.

  3. still a great post--but a very optimistic one. The rabbinic search comittee in this scenario is both a thankless job and no hopes of renumeration for time and effort. Having said that, the search committee is also different from the shadchan bc the search committee tends to be prominent members of the shul. The shadchan doesnt have to like and live with the 2 people, the
    shadchan just has to make sure they are happy with each other, not true with the search committee, which is why the search committee tends to take their recommendation much more importantly than the shadchan. Brad

  4. A bit of this can be gleaned from your old post:
    and Yid's comments
    (I didn't remember that crazy string of comments at the end)

  5. Brad-
    Good points. I would love to replace the "represent-all" search committee with a committee of HR people, but it would never fly. Moshe had the same problem with the Meraglim; the mefarshim note that Yehoshua's 2 meraglim did much better, because they were a pair picked for the task instead of a set of diplomats meant to represent each faction of the nation.

    The Talmid-
    Thanks; I get nachas when people remember old posts...