Thursday, May 31, 2012


I try to have PilotHusband's back, when it comes to our child.  Oh I'll throw him under the bus to entertain you, Dear Readers.  However, I really do defend him to our son.  I explain how hard Daddy works and why we need to be very quiet and let Dad sleep because he has to fly the big airplane far far away late late at night.  Lately, the five-year-old has been grilling me about Daddy's job, and he ain't buying it anymore!

For example, PilotHusband just got back from a three day trip to Prague.  Our son sat me down and began to ask more detailed questions about "what exactly does Daddy do?".  I tried.  Really I did.  Here's how the conversation went.

Child: Soooo, when Daddy goes to Prague, what does he do when he gets there?
APW: Well, Honey, your Dad is tired when he gets there, so he lays down and watches television.
Child: Soooo, it's just like he does at home.
APW: Well sort of.
Child: Does he watch the Military Channel?
APW: (as wine comes out of my nose!)  Sometimes the country he's in doesn't have the Military Channel.
Child:  Oh my God!  Then what does he watch, Mom?
APW: I don't know, Baby.
Child: Well that would explain why he's Cranky Banky when he comes home.

Later that same day....

Child: Hey Mom?
APW: Yes Honey?
Child: You know that time I went with you to work, and you carried all those bricks to a job site, and built a wall?
APW: Yes, Honey.
Child: Well when Daddy goes to work, does he have to put all of the suitcases on the plane?
APW: No. Someone else does that.  But he does have to do the walk around.
Child: What's that?
APW: Daddy has to walk all the way around the airplane and make sure everything is okay.
Child: Well, that doesn't seem like its a very long way to walk.  I mean, its just around one airplane.
APW: But it is important.
Child: Come on Mom!  I do more than that in Gym class!

And the next day.....

Child: Hey Mom?
APW: Yes, Dear?
Child: When Daddy goes to work, how does he know how to get where he is going?
APW: Good question!  Daddy talks to Air Traffic Control, you know, the guys in the tall tower.  And they tell him where to go to get to Prague.
Child:  You mean he doesn't even Mapquest it?
APW: No baby, he doesn't have to Mapquest it.

Later that evening...

Child: Mom?
APW: What's up?
Child: Daddy's job is kinda lame.  I mean Santa has to build all his own toys, Mapquest everybody's house, and feed the reindeer.  Daddy just walks around the airplane, has someone tell him where to go, then watches tv, then comes home.  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (and yes, child actually said "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot").
APW: Hey! Let's watch Lion King for the 57th time!
Child: Soooo, Daddy doesn't really have a real job, does he?

I tried.  Really I did.

1 comment:

  1. Give it time, for now, liken it to learning to play drums, being a pilot requires your right hand to do something different from your left hand and your right foot to do something different from your left foot, all at the same time. Drummers are cool!