Monday, August 11, 2008

Why Atlanta is SICK-- Reason #4: It's a Mecca, but only a Regional Mecca

Perhaps Banner said it best: "Daddy, I'm from Mississippi/ But I moved to Atlanta."

Mr. Crump provides a nice illustration of the fourth, penultimate reason that y'all should be pointing south and uttering your obligatory WHOASICKs-- we're that place at the bottom where the pilgrims come. Out-of-towners flock to Atlanta for innumerable reasons, but come here they do, and they contribute. But that's no different than a whole host of other cities, right?

Not really. See, the influx of new bodies into Atlanta carries with it something the groups of immigrants to other cities lack: the unifying theme of regionalism. Unlike New York or Los Angeles, people don't flit off to Atlanta from all over the country because it is some mythical land of promise, where everyone can be successful in their pursuit of becoming the quintessential tortured artist or swinging dick movie star. Atlanta doesn't bear the stigma of the rest of America's dreams.

People come to the capital of the South for, largely, pragmatic purposes. Thus, they come, largely, from places relatively close to Atlanta. Be it a Misssissippi rapper who wants to take his entrepreneurship to the next level or a Katrina refugee who doesn't want to get too far away from his gumbo, we generally get Southerners, and that's OK with ATLiens.

See, when an Atlantan is out at a bar, talking to a cute girl or guy, seven out of ten times, the latter will be from somewhere the former knows; somewhere that if the Atlantan has never visited, he can at least point to on a map. From this ability comes the common ground that seems to drive interpersonal interaction down here.

How many writings have you seen from a New York author whose gripe is that someone on the subway or at the club came from Cornpone, Iowa but now lives in NY? How many times has that same author complained that they had nothing to discuss with this foreigner, tacitly implying that they were much smarter than the newcomer (probably because they'd lived in NY about 2 months longer)? Well, down Atlanta way, we don't have to worry about that shit, because we're all from the South, and we're all dumb.

I have to confess, at this point, that I'm not from the South-- so I tend to disprove my own hypothesis-- but I have observed this phenomenon, one of acceptance based on shared regionalism, in action. Being from the South isn't the glue that holds Atlantans together, it's the KY Personal Lubricant that keeps them moving smoothly between each other.

There are, of course, tensions between various factions of southerners (e.g., Jeezy's xenopho-larious calling out of Gucci Mane, "King of Decatur, I thought you was from Birmingham?" or that time when someone at the barber shop told me that all the really hard crack dealers from New Orleans were running the Atlanta-bred rock pushers off of the corners) but mostly we keep it civil. There is no subway snobbery, and there is none of that Angelino-elitism.

And when you don't have to deal with newbies who don't talk and act like you, it's a lot easier, right? Think of this: would things run smoother in the face of a huge wave of immigration from Canada or from Turkey? I'm not saying we shouldn't tolerate Turks, I'm just saying that the community won't be so factionalized with a bunch of Canucks in its midst.

That's how Atlanta works. People from Misssissippi, Florida, the Cackalackas, Alabama, and Louisiana are our Canadians, and it keeps things running like greased owl shit on a hockey rink. So the David Banners and the Gucci Manes and the Rich Boys keep coming here and making music, fitting in from jump street because they, like the people they come here to do business with, are Southerners. And, you've all seen it... they end up putting out something SICK.

OK, tomorrow is Reason #5, and we're gonna talk about it... Music. Hold on to your corn liquor.