A question for the ages

Is it possible for two people to be connected across the gulf of differing times of life? I have friends who are at various stages in their lives, different from my own. Some are younger, others older. Let us acknowledge right up front that people are concerned with different things at different stages of their lives. Yes, there is enormous individual variation, but a life has an arc, and in the various stages of life, from birth to coming of age to mating to death, we don’t generally have the life arc of Martians – any more than we have three eyes in our head – we have the life arc of humans.

Of course we can connect with someone whose age differs greatly from our own, up to a point. if the older person channels that part of their being that still remembers their younger self. But can we get beyond such trickery? Can there be a true meeting of souls that defies the conventions of age and chronological caste?

I would love to know other peoples’ opinions on this.

6 Responses to “A question for the ages”

  1. Eve Maslin says:

    I have known people who have made connections at different times in their lives but, as I saw it, one of them had a void they were trying to fill, and it was never filled. The relationship looked good for a length of time, but as the one grew into the other’s stage of life, the other grew out of it and wanted another who would fill that void again. I have also seen spouses raise children while caring for an aging spouse … not a great situation for children…

  2. Troy says:

    I think this is answered most eloquently and succinctly through the telling of the greatest love story of our time… Harold and Maude.


  3. Bern says:

    I was just going to say the same thing. Harol and Maude does answer your question eloquently. This movie was on the other night and it summed up many questions I have at this stage in my life.

  4. Andy says:

    IMHO, there are at least four types of personal connections. physical, social, intellectual and emotional.

    (it’s useful, by the way, to note the difference between admiration and connection)

    physically, the gulf of time is the hardest to bridge.

    social connection, by which i mean the shared enjoyment (or revulsion) of a group, can span a greater divide but not so wide as

    the intellect which which may connect us across very wide gaps in age indeed

    but not nearly as powerfully and enduringly as an emotional connection — which somehow, defies age altogether and (would appear to) link us to another over death’s abyss

  5. Troy says:

    Let’s not forget the most common connection between the very young and the very old…


  6. Troy says:

    Just to elaborate on that last one… Does anyone think that Hugh Heffner has anything in common with Kendra, Holly, and Bridgett? Would they still be there if he was living in a tract on social security?

    Did Anna Nicole Smith have anything in common with her 90-year old oil tycoon?

    I see 70-year old men all the time with young, trophy wives, sitting in restaurants, not talking… They’re soo bejeweled and sparkling, but, like the Eagles song “Lying Eyes”, you really can’t hide the sentiment. It seems so uncomfortable from the outside looking in…

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