If Airlines Sold Paint...


Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?


Customer: What's the difference in the paint?

Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?


Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of thatweek and continue painting until at least Sunday.

Customer: You've got to be *...%^#@* kidding!

Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sellonly a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by theway, the price per gallon just went to $16. We don't have any more $12 paint.

Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds oftimes a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with yourpaint yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you purchase your paint as soon as possible. How many gallons do you want?

Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don'tuse it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.

Customer: WHAT?



Customer: But what are all these "Paint on sale from $10 a litre" signs?

Customer: I can't believe this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!
Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint forYour bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining room fromsomeone else, but you won't be able to paint your connecting hall and stairway from anyone but us. And I should point out, sir, that if you paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a gallon.

Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!


Customer: You're insane!
Clerk: Thanks for painting with United.

Donald G. Jones

[ As Read on Car Talk ]