The Joys of Modern Travel – Part 10

I have not written about the joys of modern travel for ages it seems. I would like to say that this is because it has actually been a joy to travel, but it’s more a case of it’s been annoying my poor frazzled brain so much I was having difficulty transcribing it into words.
The new school year has brought with it a whole different class of characters who now use the train to travel from A to B. They are louder, brasher and pushier than ever before. They have no concept of ‘sitting beside someone’ rather they practically plonk themselves on top of you. This morning I had the unenviable task of trying to liberate my coat tails from someone who had obviously paid for their seat, and half of mine.
In the morning I no longer attempt to change trains, there is just no point. It’s like trying to push your way through a hoard of stampeding cattle. ‘Alien Leg’ is still refusing to do stairs, so what with the aforementioned stampeding cattle and the completely unreasonable 3 minute platform time change, it’s never going to happen. Not right now anyway. This means I travel to the nearest main station, get off, change and then double back on myself, adding 20 minutes to a journey that is already long and arduous.
On the way home I now have 2 train changes, as if one wasn’t bad enough, wtf! Railway planners were obviously on drugs the day they devised the new timetable.
It’s bad enough for me, with a wonky leg, but can you imagine what it would be like for someone in a wheelchair trying to attempt to make the same journey that I do.
They advertise the fact that you can travel in comfort and enjoy the free ‘WiFi’, relax and banish all the stresses of sitting in traffic. That’s a bit of an untruth. By the time you get yourself seated, if in fact you are lucky enough to get one, get out your tablet, connect to the wifi and kick back to enjoy it, you’re at the last stop and it’s time for the first change. Next stop and it’s time for the second change. By the time you clamour aboard for the final leg of the journey, you’re too fecking knackered to even attempt to hook any enabled device to any kind of sodding internet and you just collapse into the nearest available seat.
Don’t even get me started on the amount of decibels one table of school children can produce.
Joys of modern travel my arse!

15 thoughts on “The Joys of Modern Travel – Part 10

  1. Most of the people in my year take a bus. I am lucky enough to be able to drive to school. :3 Well no, I don’t drive myself of course… ;) Are you very far from wherever you work?


  2. I recently changed from buses to trains. And seriously… trains are so much better! But a flying carpet would totally rule them all. I want one so badly… Because even though trains are better, it still means changing trains and waiting in the cold.
    But yeah, you got to get there hm…


  3. I was Ina train this morning too. It was busy and I had to stand near the door and stupidly I stood in a spot with nothing to hold on to. My balance and coordination were tested that’s for sure!


    • Lol, now Rob I think you’re forgetting I come from Northern Ireland, it’s been known to happen here too you know! lol
      Oh and I made enquiries, we do have the Feckin Whisky, apparantly (according to my source) it’s made in Portaferry, which is up in the North :)


      • P.s I forgot to answer your question about Poteen. We pronounce it more like Pot-chine.

        “Poitín or poteen is a traditional Irish distilled, highly alcoholic beverage (60%-90% ABV).[1] Poitín was traditionally distilled in a small pot still and the term is a diminutive of the Irish word pota, meaning “pot”. It is traditionally distilled from malted barley, grain, potatoes or whey.[1]
        It is one of the strongest alcoholic beverages in the world, and for centuries was illegal in Ireland

        We had a card game in my house one night and there was some in the cupboard. It was myself and a few of the taxi lads and they were all like the stonger it is the longer it burns for if you put a match to it. We put some in a saucer and it burned for a half hour and none of them would try it then lol


      • Ha, that sounds similar in renown to Everclear, which is supposed to be straight corn liquor, but is sold in varying strengths according to state law and anyone who values his or her liver knows better than to drink it straight, at least not in discrete quantities. A full shot is probably too much at one time. And I would totally try this Poteen.


Entertain the Eejit!


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