Saturday, April 30, 2016

April Favorites

1) Lollia Imagine Perfume (Flowering Willow & Lotus) - Lollia is probably my favorite perfume brand. Tocca's really nice, but Lollia just seems more me sometimes. I'd been planning to get this perfume back in December or January, only to find (when I finally went to get it) that the company stopped making it. So I stalked the ebay listings for a few months and finally came across this one that was marked lower than the rest because a third of it has been used. You see, I just felt like I needed it for my collection--especially since I had been planning to get it. It has a creamier smell than the other Lollia scents that I have, though still very much floral.

2) Horned Melon - Actually, this isn't a favorite at all--I just wanted to post about it somewhere, so this is the place. I wanted it because it reminded me of the fruits in Star Wars: Rebels and then I realized that it's exactly what Rey is eating at Maz's castle in Episode VII (except that hers is filled with some other fruits or something). So, um, that's what had me excited. Inside, well, it was basically like an extra seedy cucumber of the variety that you can usually only grow yourself or buy at a farmer's market. Just seeds, really. So I have to admit that I didn't eat much of it; I shared it with some chickens instead. But it's still cool-looking, isn't it?

3)  Udder Delight Pink Lip Balm - This is the same little store in Cave Creek (which is right above Phoenix/Scottsdale) that makes the arnica salve I sometimes use. They also make soaps and lotions, including a bug repellant one that's great for summer. While most of their other products have goat's milk (hence the name), this lip balm doesn't. Instead, it's made with rice bran oil, beeswax, cocoa butter, coconut oil, lanolin, and butter cream flavor. Not sure what that last ingredient is exactly, but it does make the lip balm taste nice. Very smooth and almost sweet; at first I thought I was just tasting the cocoa butter. The pink coloring is less than subtle: it's like a hint of tint rather than an actual tint. Still, that's good for days spent outdoors, when it's moisturizing you need more than color.

4) Gardening - Since I pretty much ignored the garden in winter (I kept getting sick in fall, so I never planted what I'd wanted to put in for the winter garden), I'm trying to make up for it by caring for the warm weather garden more. And right now that there has been some nice weather (and some hot weather and some cold weather--it's just been so weird), I'm trying to be outdoors a little more before summer sets in. Oregano's growing nicely, and spinach, and zucchinis growing their vines. I'm learning how to properly prune tomatoes. Carrots are my favorite to watch grow: there's something so fascinating about their green, carrot-smelling tops with the bright orange roots hidden beneath the dirt. Pretty much, gardening is good for the soul, even if you're (like me) still learning.

5) White Bermuda Shorts - I had just been saying that I needed some white capris or something like that, and then I saw these at My Sister's Closet (which is a string of stores in Scottsdale/Phoenix with the best used clothing). They looked pretty new, and I think they might be an Anthropologie brand (which is my current favorite place to buy shorts and pants, when I have the money for it [which is okay because I don't need to buy new ones often]). They're sort of a tight fit but the material is very soft and flexible, making them almost like wearing leggings. I'll get a lot of use out of these.

6) Get Smart - I've been slowly moving through these episodes again. In case you've never heard of the show, it's a fantastic product of the 60's about a secret government organization of spies and it really has nothing to do with spies, just jokes.

7) Vergani Gianduiotto Chocolates - I'm not going to do a review of these because they fall under the candy category more than anything else and candy is kind of boring and often pointless to try and review, for me at least. But I had to mention them because I am enjoying them. They're just little piece of hazelnut chocolate, nothing more and nothing less.

8) Spring Blooms - I was down in Phoenix this past week and the saguaros were in bloom, a special treat since the flowers are gone as soon as they come. A few days before, I also caught these two at the Desert Botanical Garden over there. Just beautiful.

9) Cave Creek Candles in Chocolate & Rose - Right behind the previously-mentioned goat's milk product store in Cave Creek is this candle store that I had somehow never been into. They make their own candles and infuse them with a variety of good quality scents. Nice and fresh and real. I got two small candles, one in chocolate (because I had to) and one in rose (because I thought it was the best scene in the store). And they smell rather nice together, too, like chocolate-covered Turkish Delight.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Taza: Spiked Eggnog






Wednesday, April 27, 2016

The Mask of Kylo Ren

The mask of Darth Vader was fashioned after a skull, with blank spaces for eyes to imply the nonexistence of a soul. The mask of Kylo Ren is formed without a mouth because his is a character who cannot speak.

There are many possible ways in which he can't speak. It may be that he doesn't know how to express himself or even that he doesn't know what he wants to express; "I'm being torn apart," he says. Perhaps he is hiding something, which would be the case if he is some kind of double or undercover agent. Or it might be that someone is trying to not let him speak; he is being contained in some way (presumably by Snoke). He himself might also be trying to repress something (like the light), to not let it speak out of his mouth and his actions.

Visually, the mask looks something like a criminal's muzzle, something made to contain threats and danger. It suggests that Kylo Ren is a threat, which is in fact why he chooses to wear this mask: he wants to look like intimidating, like his grandfather before him. But his mask has less of a "crown" than Vader's did: he is less powerful. And where Vader's mask was about blankness, Ren's is about blocking. There was nothing for Vader to hide because he had all but killed all the good in himself, but Ren has much that he still tries to suppress.

Speaking of his mask leads me to think of his face. I commented before on the unique, well, mutilation that Kylo Ren receives during his battle with Rey: Star Wars has so much of chopping off hands and limbs but he just got some deep wounds and a sliced face. Now I see why the face is significant.

The face is vanity. The face is self-image and your level of comfort with the idea of how other people perceive you. Ren wore the mask to feel powerful and to intimidate others into thinking he was powerful. So when Rey cuts his face, that's showing that his true face is damaged and that he is aware that it's damaged. The vanity is marred. The bravado fades into shock. His self-image struggles, as it probably has before, as only anger (which he is so quick to cultivate) can heal. Unless he can finally accept that he is damaged--and that damage to the light is not good.

Oh, Kylo Ren, don't you see that even though you've fashioned this dark mask for yourself, you are constantly wanting to take off the mask and let your own face be free? This shroud of darkness is not the answer. If you continue down this path, you will have even more scars than the slash across your face. It's never too late to turn away, but now you're marked. Now your mask is not just there to intimidate: it is there to hide your weakness and decay, as visually represented by a deep scar.

Writing Adventures: Part 6

Click here to read Part 5.

It would seem that I have, essentially, caught up to the present with these posts. So now instead of explaining what I have been doing or thinking I will be writing down what I am doing or thinking.

My book is done. I've worked on content and language and length, and I've gone through to edit for grammar and typos. (It wouldn't hurt to go through once more, though, I suppose.) I have begun the process of self-publishing, and I've learned that much of this process is simply reading about how things are supposed to be done. There is so much that I didn't know about getting a book published.

I've found that not everyone I talk to even knows what an ISBN is (I did); I had to not only know what they are but also go and buy one (well, a few, actually). And then I was reading about copyrights, too; I never knew that you have to pay to register a copyright (your work automatically belongs to you, but registering your copyright is basically for legal records in case any issues every come up).

Then there is the proper formatting of your book. The cover. The back cover. Pictures (I still haven't had anyone take my author photo--I'm considering taking it myself but I suppose I'm a terrible photographer and really shouldn't). I need to get some nice business cards, too.

Oh, yes, and then there is the odd task of writing my book summary. Don't ask me why this is so incredibly difficult for me: it's my book, so it should be easy. But whenever I try and put something together, it's like trying to jam a nail through one of my fingers in the dark (as in, it hurts to do and yet you also can't quite figure out how to do it because you can't see). I've written some different versions and I'm trying to see what's best so that I can edit that one. I should have been done with this part a long time ago--but I just can't see to do it.

So that's one side of what I've been doing.

The other is beginning my next book. I didn't exactly plan to start working on something else. It just sort of happened. Maybe a few months after I'd basically finished the first book, I had an image in my head for the next one. So I wrote that down. And I add to it from time to time. And I think about that story quite a bit, even though I haven't written anything else for it in a little while.

I want this book to be a little different. In some ways, it'll be more linear. I thought it would be less abstract, but now I'm thinking to possibly incorporate magical realism into it. I like the idea of magical realism and I've been wondering why that isn't part of the genre that I write in--so I'm going to try it. Just a sprinkle of it, possibly a sprinkle that'll get bigger as the book moves on. I don't know yet: I still don't know where this story goes or how it ends. But it's kind of fun to be back at the beginning again--and this time I feel more in control of what I can do with this book.

The end and the beginning, the publishing and the drafting, both at once.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Thoughts on the New Star Wars Information

In case you haven't heard, J.J. Abrams announced in a Q&A that Rey's parents aren't in The Force Awakens, which has given rise to much more speculation about who she is and what her role will be in the future films. In particular, people are excited that this makes Reylo possible and might mean that Rey is a Kenobi.

I had to take a little bit of time to ponder this new info. I'd been planning a different post on the movie (the DVD release has me excited to start talking about it again), but we'll just let that wait for some other time. For now let me get some thoughts out (probably nothing that hasn't already been said elsewhere, just my way of putting together what I think sounds most plausible). I also just want to record at what point I thought what--that way I can look back at this years from now and see how right or wrong I was.

When I first saw Episode VII, I was convinced Rey was Luke's daughter. Absolutely convinced. But the more I thought about it, the more boring that seemed. And then as time went on, my interest started to transfer from Rey to Kylo Ren. I went into it all loving Rey's character and walked out thinking only about Kylo Ren.

So by the time J.J. Abrams made his little declaration (which had better be true and not just a lie to throw us off the track), I was already feeling like Rey wasn't Luke's daughter after all. It's almost a relief now to think that she isn't and to feel like I don't have to keep wondering if that's true. Yes, the movie is constantly pairing her, visually, with Luke (her outfit looks like his Episode IV getup and her new outfit at the end of the movie closely resembles his Episode V look), but that can be because of theme instead of because they're related: her character can be playing the same role in this trilogy that Luke played in the OT. Like how BB-8 resembles R2 in some ways because he plays a similar role in the story as R2 did--not because he's a droid descendent of R2.

And now on to Reylo. I have confirmation (in this post) that I was considering the idea of Reylo at least by the second time I watched the movie. I figured that if the characters weren't related, then this was a way that they could be connected, with Rey possibly helping bring Ren back to the light side. And I thought it also made sense with the dual look the two characters have: one light and one dark, both paired together and reflected back on each other.

I thought about that. But I also apparently mostly dismissed the idea at the time (I still thought they were probably cousins). And now, well, I'm just like everyone else: I can't stop thinking about the idea of Reylo (I kind of like saying that name, too: it's funny).

It makes sense. I just rewatched the movie with this theory in mind. And if fits very well in his side: the complication's move on her side. Here is how I can picture it.

I tend to be interested in the theories that Ren is not all bad. We know that he was born with equal capacity for the light and dark sides because that's been stated (Even though that seems weird because how is that different from someone's free will to choose light or dark? Or does Star Wars believe in fate over free will now? Did it always?). The question is how much he wants to follow the light or dark side: everything he says and much of what he does is ambiguous. Is he ultimately trying to defeat Snoke by getting in close to his enemy? Is he trying to channel both the light and dark sides simultaneously to achieve the greatest power? Or is he just stumbling after mistakes he made because of his bad family life? We don't know anything for sure, but there is enough material like this that he isn't just a blank, evil character and therefore we can imagine how some type of relationship with Rey might develop.

Then watch the movie, watch his scenes with Rey, watch how he looks at her and what he says to her. He either knows something about her (her identity, her past, or the meaning of her strength with the Force) or he loves her (either romantically of platonically). He does look her up and down when he first meets her--in a completely ambiguous way (Adam Driver certainly knows his acting); he might be kind of checking her out or simply sizing up his enemy. He obviously grows fascinated by her, which could be because he likes her or simply because of her power (or, of course, both). When he takes off his mask in the interrogation scene, it's as if he wants her to see his face. Because it'll make his task easier? I don't see how. So it can only be because he wants her to see him as human and not the "creature in a mask." Either because some part of him wants her to like his face or because he is hoping to get her to join him on the dark side and showing his humanity seems like a good way to do this. (Or he might remove his mask to see if she recognizes him from the past, to test and see if she is who he thinks she might be. But I'm not sure about that one: it seems possible that they might have known each other in the past, but that would need a lot of explaining.)

Then there's this. Both novelizations (adult and junior editions) have Ren telling Rey that he's going to take the map from her mind and to not be afraid. But the movie's line is a little different. There's a gap after he talks about taking the map and then he says, "Don't be afraid. I feel it, too." Feel what? The presence of the map? No. Her fear? That seems more likely (though this would more be him thinking he feels her fear but actually he's the one who's afraid). Someone said it's the connection between them. Maybe.

In both novelizations is also the line from Snoke: "You feel compassion for her?" Ren denies this but the fact that Snoke says it must mean there's some truth to it. The question is whether he means compassion as in sympathy or as in Anakin's definition that he gave to Padme in Episode II (basically, love).

If Ren's attracted to Rey, then that would easily give a reason for him not wanting to kill her in the final lightsaber battle (I can't quite bring myself to believe that he was really trying to defeat her, for whatever reason). After all, in the beginning he just throw her at a tree and fights Finn instead--then she has to peskily start a fight with him. He offers to teach her. How's that for a pick up line: "I can show you the ways of the Force." Could be because he wants her to stay with him or just because he knows she's strong and wants her on his side.

What makes me pause so much is his expression after she beats him. There he is on the ground, all wounded and cut up and defeated--and he looks maybe like he's having an out of body experience, maybe he's a little shocked but mostly he just looks still. Kylo Ren, still. Usually when things don't go his way or he gets shocked he reacts by getting angry and throwing a tantrum and slashing things with his lightsaber. Obviously he's very injured here so that affects how he can react, but he doesn't even look angry. Whatever it is, there has to be a reason why he isn't angry at Rey: if it had been anyone else defeating him he would have been angry. But because it's her he isn't.

So in the future I think there will be even more scenes between these two characters. Possibly they may shift light/dark roles (Rey has to get tempted by the dark side at some point, just as Luke was. Maybe Kylo Ren himself will be her temptation.). Possibly a love story will develop (Ren has to either come back to the light side or be revealed to be secretly working for the good all along for this to happen: no one's advocating a creepy attacker/victim relationship here. Even if Rey joins him on the dark side, I still don't think that would make up for how he treated her.). But they are for sure connected in some way, even if it is just thematically.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Guittard: Clair de Lune

Some chocolates are like old friends. You loved them once, long ago, and so you can never forget that affection and will continue to love them still, no matter what changes as the years go by.

Guittard, based out of California, was one of the companies that introduced me to shall we say, more serious chocolate. I was so excited to find their 91% Nocturne, then worried that I wouldn't like it because it was so dark, and then entranced by its richness. You can still buy the Nocturne, but I'm not sure if it's a little different now: Guittard has been doing something of a rebranding. Or perhaps reorganizing is a better word for it. Their bars are bigger now, packaged in foil and card boxes instead of just foil and paper. The design of the packaging is also different. And their chocolate is now marked as Fair Trade and non-GMO. While I liked the old packaging more (it had more of an earthy, vintage look), that last bit is certainly good and will certainly attract buyers. (In case you're wondering, I think the only other bar that's made it through from the old line into the new is the Quetzalcoatl.)

I wanted to try out the new line, starting with the Clair de Lune bar. But I've had it sitting waiting for at least a couple of months now: I had so many other things to review first. Now at last I turn to the patient Guittard chocolate. Just because I liked the old packaging more, doesn't mean that this one is bad. It's fine; I just don't love it. A simple dark blue background is the base for all the many descriptive words chocolate bars must now have, including the blend number (49, though I honestly don't see why there is a number in addition to the name). Other than the Fair Trade and non-GMO and 85% cacao notes, what is also interesting is the mention of no added cocoa butter. Cocoa butter is included in the cocoa percentage of a chocolate, and sometimes companies add in a little extra; Guittard didn't. Not exactly abnormal for a decent dark chocolate, but still good to note.

The card box folds open like an envelope to reveal some pictures of cocoa beans behind the hand-wrapped foil bar. There is a small slit in the envelope, allowing you to tuck the box closed again. The bar of chocolate is rather stripey, with just one blank space for the name. And I don't like the stripes: they remind me of cheap chocolate. Just get rid of them in favor of something else, some other design.

Fragrant, the chocolate smells rich and deep. In texture, it's a little hard and needs a couple of chews to get the melting started right. Perhaps it's older than it should be since I've had it sitting for a while, but it's still about a year away from it's best by date. The flavor starts off a tad on the bitter side, the earthy kind of bitter rather than the biting kind. Then it mellows out into warmer tones. The box tells me it has cherry notes, which I can neither confirm nor deny--but that sounds about right. It isn't highly fruity or citrusy; it isn't floral, either. But it does have that warm tanginess (as opposed to bright tanginess) that usually is called cherry notes. It's up there in the cocoa percentages at 85%. Sometimes this is my favorite range: it isn't difficult enough to make for there to be too many problems developing flavor and texture and yet it's dark enough that you can taste the chocolate more than the sugar (there is also some vanilla in here).

It's a pretty nice dark chocolate, not too complicated or too subtle in its delivery. Very straightforward. It's just nice, not really asking for anything in return except for you to take a quiet moment to eat it. No need for anything more. A good chocolate to just keep around the house for when you want a little dark chocolate or when you want something for a recipe. Guittard is among the more affordable chocolate brands, and also the more accessible, at least where I am (World Market is currently carrying their line). I wouldn't call it a special occasion chocolate; just a steady friend that you know you can count on.

Friday, April 8, 2016

Lacey Sturm in Concert





"The Soldier"
"I'm Not Laughing"
"The Chasm"
"You're Not Alone"
"Feels Like Forever" (I think)
"Run to You"
"All Around Me"
"I'm So Sick"
"Fully Alive"
"Call You Out"




Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Poetry of the Southwest

There are some books that speak to your soul, some books that are written so much in your style and seem to have so much to do with the landscape of your life--some books that you simply feel grateful for the opportunity to read.

The Poplar Tree was such a book for me. I mentioned buying it at a thrift store last month (click here to see what else I got there); I thought it looked like a nice book that I would like. And I was very much right.

Clara Emily Guion Aguirre was born and raised in New Mexico; she moved to Texas after she was married. From an early age all the way through the rest of her life, she wrote poetry. This book, the first of two that she published, covers poems from 1918 to 1986. That's 68 years of her life. She was born, by the way, in 1906 and died in 1997 (this book was published in 1988 by Nightjar Press). All of the poems are labeled with the year they were written in and they appear in chronological order, which is in itself fascinating: different thoughts go through our heads at different stages of our lives.

Her poems are short and simple, never taking up more than a page each and often being only around fifteen lines long. There is nothing flowery about them and that is what makes them so beautiful. Sometimes they are descriptions of an element from nature (like a poplar tree), sometimes they describe a feeling (it was easy to guess at what stage Clara's husband died), and sometimes they describe a thought (like a realization of what time means in terms of our lives). Though not all of these poems are happy, they are all grateful, written with a realization of what life is and the desire and resolution to live that life.

The Southwest speaks to my heart and it spoke to Clara's heart, too, and that's why I took such delight in seeing her conversations, so to speak, with the earth and the plants and the animals that inhabit this corner of the earth. Her poem "The Desert" (1955) on page 30 was one of the best things I've read, a true ode to the life of the desert. I want everyone to read that poem, to find it, to see it, to think of it: it explains what makes the desert compelling, all without pretense or hyperbole or blind eyes that see only pretty colors. "Reflection" (1959) on page 44 was also one of my favorites, and speaking of eyes, I think this poem did open my eyes and remind me of a certain reality that I think perhaps I was forgetting.

I am so happy that I found this book, this book that I wouldn't have found anywhere else but that particular thrift store on that particular day. As far as I know, it only had one printing, so if you want to buy a copy online, the price is exorbitant (I have to include the Amazon ad just to show you that I'm not exaggerating). I think there are some anthologies that include some of Clara's poetry, but I can't tell you for sure. That being said, I wish there were a reprint of this book to make it once more accessible: it's absolutely lovely and I wish more people had the chance to read these poems.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Native American Graphic Novel Collection

Lately I've felt like I should know more of Native American stories, particularly those from the general area where I live. But these are oral traditions that aren't always set down on paper--and often intentionally so. One of my professors in college taught a class on Native American stories (I never took it, but now I think that I should have), and that was something he talked about, the extra layer it adds to learning when a lot of the stories simply aren't in print. In high school, for instance, one of my friends did a scholarship where he had to do a project on these oral tales--and therefore he had to go and talk to members of the community to hear their stories.

So when I was at the Grand canyon last year, looking around one of their gift shops for a unique book that I wouldn't happen on elsewhere (and also one that wasn't just about the geology), this one caught my eye. Trickster: Native American Tales - A Graphic Collection, compiled by Matt Dembicki and published in 2010. That's right. It's a volume with twenty-one different tales, all told in graphic novel style. 

And right away, that concept seemed to fit, as random as it might at first seem. Oral storytelling is a specific narrative style. When you try and write it down and print it out, it changes. (This is why Beowulf always seems to look best when it's kept in verse; prose just doesn't keep the right flow.) But when you add all of the illustrations of a graphic novel, the pacing becomes something specific. There are certain pauses when you look at a picture--similar to the pauses a speaker might make for dramatic purposes. And it simply gives the story more of a living, moving feeling, even more of a feeling that it is being told by a narrator. So I really like this concept of telling these stories in this form.

When I was flipping through the book at the store, though, I hesitated because of the style of some of the illustrations. Let me first explain how the book was put together. Matt Dembicki had the idea because he, too, wanted to learn more Native American stories and also help other people find an interest in learning them. So he found Native American storytellers who would be willing to take part in the project and he let them choose their illustrators from a group of artists; the storytellers also gave approval for how each panel turned out. 

The thing is, these illustrators are all quite different--something that seemed to bother many people in the reviews of this book. I kind of agree, though maybe not as strongly. When you flip through the book, the colors change so quickly: earthy, vibrant, neutral, extremely bold, very yellow, very brown, very blue. The styles changes, too: fairly realistic, soft, cartoonish, very computer-y, more hand-drawn-looking, and so on. The styles do go with the stories, and I found myself thinking less about the differences in styles when I was actually reading--but still. If there were a little more similarity to the styles, the book would be visually much less random.

I generally preferred the more serious styles of illustrations. But at the same time, I don't know if I can ask that they all be that way: there is humor to these stories and there is casualness (that isn't the right word: I just mean to say that they aren't stuffy stories, many are stories of regular animals and regular settings and such). So a cartoon style does make sense, considering that this book is a fusion of two cultures (while still maintaining the traditional styles of the stories themselves).

Note that I haven't said much about the stories themselves. This is because I don't feel capable of saying anything about them: I've said I'm not very familiar with too many Native American stories. So I can say that I liked or didn't like and that's all--and that seems weird to say, too. Instead I'll just comment a little on the style. Many of the stories read similar to fables, having animal characters who talk to each other and sometimes to people. Many of them explain things in nature, like why there are stars in the sky or why alligators are scaly. Some are moral tales, sending messages to help young people know how to behave and imparting values. Some of the writers choose a more serious, poetic style--others modernize a bit with simple wording. 

I kept imagining almost that I was reading the stories out loud--or that someone was reading them to me. As such, this volume would be great for reading with children, a good way of introducing them at a young age to a little bit of Native American storytelling. I do feel like I should add, though, that depending on the age of your child, you might want to skip one or two stories, or at least just check them beforehand. Otherwise, though, I think there is a lot in here for children to enjoy. That said, I don't mean that I think of this as a children's book. Certainly not: this type of story is for any age, provided you have the interest. (Use common sense: if you hate fables, though these are a little different, think twice and let everyone else enjoy this book.) 

Mainly I like the concept. But I also enjoyed reading. The stories are quick to read through and a good starting place. One last note I seem to have forgotten: these aren't stories of a specific region. They range from the Southwest to Alaska to Hawaii and so on throughout the country--and it's usually pretty quickly apparent what the region is because the stories all draw from nature imagery and animals particular to certain areas.