Wednesday, February 18, 2015

fifty shades of my confusion

I first heard of, "50 Shades of Grey", from my step-brother-in-law. So my first impression was based on what he thought about it.

He said, "It's BDSM erotica with an abusive man, not literature."

I didn't have interest in the book. However, I noticed people talking about it. All of the people, posting about it everywhere. So I thought, "I will read this book so that I can understand popular culture."

The book doesn't really have a plot. I mean it does, in a sense. The characters do follow some sort of change. But the "crisis" doesn't feel like it has a "resolution". In fact, I'm not even exactly sure what the crisis is supposed to be. Yes, Christian Grey is the rich obsessive-stalker-dominant who gets what he wants and then takes it too far. And Ana is a bumbling college girl who uhm, sorta let's stuff happen to her, and sometimes gets upset?

Here is the truth, people want to see an Alpha character. They want to see wealth and power. They want to live vicariously through others, even if it's not realistic. They like a Cinderella story, no matter how twisted it is. And it seems they have no problem seeing a weak person, Ana, be groomed for some sort of "greater" purpose. (I use the term greater loosely here.)

In the book, there is the male character, who is just abusive enough that you question if Ana is in a BDSM relationship or an abusive one. He is obviously messed up on the basis of his actions and the authors vague allusion. Then there is Ana who is suffering from what I call, "insane-thirteen-year-old-girl-trapped-in-a-woman's-body." They fit. A perfect demented couple.

She is immature. More berating of herself than Christian ever is. Virginal in a way that makes her seem like an idiot. She says, "Oh Jeez" far too much for my liking. She refers to her sexual body in terrible ways, like saying "down there".

Where are you going Ana? Australia?

I have jokingly used the term "down there" for my own lady parts, but never would I use it in the context of a narrative. She might as well have said, "He is touching my vagina. My vagina feels wanton."

Which leads me to how the word, wanton, is used in the book. It is repeated on loop. As if the reader wouldn't notice that the author forgot how to address the flora of language. I sense the thesaurus was missing too. But never mind that. The second over used word was mercurial. Next time I'm thinking about telling my man I'm, "In the mood", I think I'll say, "I am wanton and you are mercurial, Turned on?"

Then there's the gasping and the breath hitching. She gasps. There is a gasp. Another gasp. Her breath hitches.

I do believe somebody needs her inhaler.

My problem with the book isn't the abusive themes, lack of plot, bad word usage or even the lack of character arc. I am perfectly fine with BDSM integrated into a story. My problem is that this book fails; as both erotica and a novel. There isn't enough substance to be a novel and there isn't enough sensuality (I'm not talking sex here, 'cause there is plenty of that.) to be a good erotica.

And the really said part?

I read all three novels to understand what the author was trying to do. Sadder even, is if the author would have taken the three books and had them edited properly, there would have actually been a plot with some real character arcs. Then it would have been a passable novel.

So what happens now? Now we are stuck watching a terrible movie, which is an extraction from a terrible book, which is an extraction from an "okay" plot laid out over the span of three books.  I am sure there is better free erotica online. Just sayin'.

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