Topics for Conversation When Considering Marriage

Considering marriage couple laughter and inspiration - Pixabay -1838940_1920How do you handle and live with differences? How do you decide what can remain differences without jeopardizing the relationship? The following are topics of conversation that would be good to ask each other when considering marriage.

Worship and Devotion

  • How important is corporate worship? What about other participation in church life?
  • In your life, what is the importance of music in life and worship?
  • What are your daily personal devotional practices? What about prayer, reading, meditation, memorization?
  • Do you believe in having family devotions? If yes, what would our family devotions look like? Who leads out in this?
  • Are we doing this now in an appropriate way: praying together about our lives and future? What about reading the Bible together?

Husband and Wife

  • How are tasks shared in the home: cleaning, cooking, and washing dishes? How about yard work, car upkeep, repairs, shopping for food, and household stuff?
  • What are the expectations for togetherness?
  • What is an ideal non-special evening?
  • Who does the checkbook —or are there two?


  • If and when, should we have children? Why?
  • How many?
  • How far apart should we have them?
  • Would we consider adoption?
  • What are the appropriate ways to discipline them? How many strikes before they’re… whatever?
  • How about signs of affection; will you show them?


  • Should we own a home or not? Why?
  • What kind of neighborhood do we want to live in? Why?
  • How many cars? New? Used?
  • What’s the view of money in general? How much goes to the church?
  • How do you make money decisions?
  • Where will you buy clothes? Department store? Savers? In between? Why?


  • How much money should we spend on entertainment?
  • How often should we eat out? Where?
  • What kind of vacations are appropriate and helpful for us?
  • How many toys? Snowmobile, boat, cabin?


  • What makes you angry?
  • How do you handle your frustration or anger?
  • Who should bring up an issue that is bothersome?
  • Will we go to bed angry at each other?


  • Who is the main breadwinner?
  • What are your views of daycare for children?



Health and Sickness

  • Do you have, or have you had any, sicknesses or physical problems that could affect our relationship? (Examples are: Allergies, cancer, eating disorders, venereal disease, etc.)
  • How do you think about exercise and healthy eating?
  • Do you have any habits that adversely affect health?

 John Piper © Desiring God compiled these questions. Website:

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Filed under: Communication Tools Marriage Prep Tools

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