It’s not the size of the girl in the fight, it’s the size of the FIGHT in the girl

It’s easy to play the victim! We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. You see, being the victim teaches us absolutely nothing. It only puts us in a cycle of self-pity, depression and viewing ourselves as worthless. 

Now, instead of playing the victim – no matter how unfair the situation or how wrong people have been towards you – you NEED to make the decision to learn from it and you NEED to use it to better yourself as a human being in order to regain joy, peace, and a sound mind. 

I’m not saying you should ignore the hurt and brokenness you’re feeling. Because you should by no means do that, it’s not healthy. Crying it all out is part of your healing. However, staying in that mourning cycle is not. There comes a point where you need to pick yourself up and tell your soul to be strong. Then, you need to 1. SHAKE IT ALL OFF, you need to 2. quit focusing on what the other person did to you and you need to 3. start focusing on how you are going to avoid certain things from happening again.  

There’s something my boxing trainer said to me a few months ago that stuck with me: “No matter how tired you are, never let it show. The moment they see you’re tired, you’re screwed!” In other words, keep on punching; keep on fighting.

There is always something you can learn and parts of you that can be improved – ALWAYS. So let what you’ve been through rise up a fight in your inner being to become better, rather than a version of you that becomes bitter!

And may one day you look back and say: “I love the person I’ve become, because I FOUGHT to become her.”

D. Arelis XO

Dealing with toxic people

4 short points that might help you deal with toxic people:

1.  Be the bigger person. Don’t waste your time and energy arguing or proving your point to someone that refuses to see the issue and/or won’t admit they need change. 

2. Set boundaries. Helping people goes up to a certain point. You see, what you allow will continue. It’s good to help but if the person you’re trying to help is creating a bigger problem out of their situation rather adding to the solution, then you need to draw a line – distance yourself. You can’t help someone that won’t help themselves. There comes a point where you need to set your limit. 

3. Take a distance. Taking a step back is ok. You are not doing anything wrong. Avoid being in an unhealthy relationship or friendship. Try to always surround yourself with positive energy; with people that are going somewhere and that are open to improve themselves. Toxic people always play the victim; they tend to drag negativity wherever they go. They transmit stress to the people around them. You don’t need that!

4. Let it go. Do not feel bad. Helping people wont always turn out the way you imagined it would. You can’t change someone that refuses to change. So shake it off and move on, bebe!!!

D. Arelis XO