you are the one

no matter how much i imagine
dreams with us don't come true



and even in the dark
your shadow isn't even with you


oh great love

If you were to love me the way I love you
The world might be a better place
I might smile the way I use to do
You might admire the way I stare at you
You might stroke my lips with adoration
I might kiss your cheek without hesitation
I might be happy, I might be elated
The world would be my oyster
And not my cage
But I cannot force you to love, or care
This would not be fair
You might hate me, I might be a fool
But I just really hate me too
I am distressed, oh how I am cursed
To live with the person I am, I have no choice
I want to be the person you want me to be
I want to be beautiful,
I want you to see me.
Oh, under these troubles do o sink lower, into mire
Love's weight do I sink under
How do I change for you! Oh how I hate who I am
I'm not efficient enough for thee
My face are freckled, just like skin that is battered and bruised
My voice is a crow
Put me in a noose! I want to die rather than living another day
Not being the person I want to be for you.
For you, id give my whole life
My whole life for you...
Love's suppression am I under

note: This is more of a role playing post. I don't feel this way, I put myself into more of a... Shakespearean type character. I thought it would be fun. 


ocean blue

don't worry about me, i'll be fine. let me drink a bit, let me sigh. but i'll be fine in a day or two, this little voice says you'll be okay too. separate ways, separate paths. let's take them. i'll be me, and you'll be you. it's a sad matter, but know that i'll always love you. my hearts affections will never change, it's just the situation that is insane. but you'll be okay, don't worry about me. love is for eternity. hold on to hope, i'll hold too. maybe we'll dive into love again soon. 


you've caught me

i was once a balloon. i was once high. i had love in my heart, and a spirit to keep me in the sky. but the archer's bow has caught me, and alas, i am falling. i have fallen. i am down. 


We’re just ordinary people, we don’t know which way to go.

when you let yourself go, you're free. that's a bit obvious, but don't blame me for not knowing so beforehand. there are thoughts that have been instilled into people for thousands of years, and this thought of knowing that one can't believe everything they are told is the epiphany, if there ever was one. i still believe, but i'm not sure in what anymore.
God, I still love you.


just let me be

is it bad that all i want to be is left alone? is solitude too morbid to ask for? maybe i've faced reality already, and succumbing to it already. so let me eat alone, sleep alone, die alone in the hands of sweet green grass.


i want to be like frankenstein and drive nails into my head

oh pain, you've found me. you are a jilted lover i've longed to leave for the presence of love. you are so jealous, so spiteful. pain, you've overcome my heart as a blizzard overcomes the harvest field. how can one be so cold and bitter? where has the love in my heart gone, so be replaced with such hatred? pain, what do you have to say to justify yourself? that it's my fault?


stuff you're suppose to know

i know my life is a bit out of control, and i know i have to change things so it's better. but i'm so crushed in spirit, all i want to do is lay in bed. lay in bed and curl up and not say anything. i want to put my terrarium up in front of me and what the moss grow; i want to watch the water evaporate, condense, evaporate, condense, evaporate, condense, a never ending cycle... i hate waking up in the morning. i hate it. because i am myself. but who in the world would i ever say this to? really? i don't tell anyone this. i'm completely crazy, i don't know what to do with myself sometimes.