because we all becoming selfish...we don't have time for sharing anything with anyone and than blame everyone that they don't care about our feelings and thoughts...that's why it's getting harder and harder to built a freiendship or powerful personal relationships...cause we don't care...don't care about even names of our classmates,we live in our own little world,where nobody matters,but us...

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ye...why do we need friends?why do we make them?if we want to do something we always find opportunities to do it,and if we don"t-we always find excuses...it's harder with age to allow people get closer to you,harder to make friends,you become sceptical,overprotective of yourself(I better will not take anybody close,so i will not be hurt),but at the end it's the same door-you close it for pain or unpleasant things,you close it for love and happiness too...friendship and relationships are about giving,when it's honestly makes you happier to give,rather than take
I think a lot of times we are afraid to care. On the one hand its selfish because we don't want to invest ourselves in someone else with no guarantee of them returning the favor. But other times I think we are just scared of rejection. I know that I'm very guarded because I'm scared of people taking advantage of me once they know my weaknesses. I don't blame people for not caring because I wont let them care--I never let them get that far. On the other hand I know I often feel awkward approaching other people because I don't want to weird them out and seem over-eager if they just want to be left alone. I think a lot of people can relate. We are afraid to care and afraid of letting someone else care--afraid of letting ourselves believe that someone else cares only to see that concern ware off or find out it was fake.

Other times I agree that we are just too lazy to put in the effort to begin or maintain a relationship that is inconvenient. We have our own bubbles and we like it that way.
I totally know what Alyssa means by "I'm unsure that what I say will be accepted or taken the way I intended (...) People call students "kiss ass" or "teachers pet" when they speak up a lot, or get annoyed when a student constantly offers their opinion & it doesn't correlate with their own, so some people try to avoid being that person." I'm not afraid to share my opinion or disagree with someone but I don't want what I said to be misrepresented as something else. Generally, I'd rather say nothing than be misunderstood or not taken seriously--I'm not sure if that's arrogance or cowardice...
That is so true! I see myself as that person. It's not me and other people my age do not want to make friends but we feel insecure; we're afraid what people may think of us.
Something similar has also happened to me Elisa. I also fell out of loop with certain people back in high school when I hung out with different people. Anyways it just resided us not hanging out like we use to. I guess we did not care enough to reconnect our friendship how it use to be. Maybe that is how I built a wall around myself. I don't share my feelings or thoughts because I'm afraid to trust someone with my life. I do have relationships, lots, but not personal ones. Maybe one out of ten and that's very little. I guess I'm afraid to show people how I truly am thinking they won't accept me. Usually I seclude myself when I'm in a room with people I do not know and be a reserved and shy person like my outside person. But really I love to meet new people and talk. I guess it is in our generation to be this way. But some people are really outgoing; I envy them.
I was afraid to post here since the class wasn't really given any guidelines on what to do, so I assumed that all I had to do was post something on Twitter and write a small essay on myself. In addition, this class is so large and has so many people that I don't know, so it's hard to discuss my lives with total strangers on the internet. I think that's the main reason nothing was posted here.

Every person is different, and some people enjoy a few close friends they can confide to instead of being acquaintances with many others. Some are lazy and just don't want to take the initiative to make new friends when they already have a comfortable group of friends they can hang out with. Others just don't have the time to hang out with more friends lest they fall behind on what is being taught in class. College is very fast-paced, especially for science (especially biology) majors (not saying anything about north-campus majors), where they have to take many different science and math classes in order to fill their prerequisites. Many times, there is simply not enough time to be dawdling or hanging around with friends because they cannot place a time limit on understanding a subject, so every second must be guarded with care.

Clubs, in my opinion, are the best way to make new friends and manage your time while hanging out with them, since there is usually a time limit for club events and activities. Everyone is there for a common purpose, so it's easier to connect with one another. It's just a little awkward to do the same for a class, but I suppose it could be done.

I usually hang out with my friends during lunch and dinner, and I give myself an extra 2-3 hours to be with them before going back to studying. I also meet up with friends during club activities and in orchestra. However, I try to manage my time accordingly, since my parents never cease to remind me that they can take me out of college and make me find work anytime if I don't get good grades.
It's hard for people to open up to one another so easily. I think friendship grows with time, especially in today's society, where we're been raised to be overly skeptical towards one another. I think the reason why people don't bother making friends is because they don't feel the need to. It's better to have a few close friends who truly understand and care for you rather than having a hundred friends that could care less why you are the way you are.
Lilit I completely understand what you are saying and I am the same way. Most of my life, I have had a few close friends that I would share everything with and I was sure that they would protect me and stand by me no matter what. I think everyone is different. I would love to share my feelings with everyone and have discussions like this one all the time, but I know that many people wouldn't care about what I am feeling, so I would feel uncomfortable sharing them. I think this is harder than ever at ucla becuase there are so many students on campus, that you don't really get to meet too people you feel intimidated. I think in general people share their feelings with people they're familiar with, such as their friends on twitter or facebook and are afraid of sharing them with strangers.
Kristina, I couldn't agree with you more. Facebook, twitter, myspace, etc are all social networking sites, that in reality inhibit our ability to make friends in the real world. A typical person on, let's say facebook, may have many friends of which they may have never even spoken to and will probably never speak to in the future. We create this false reality where making friends on these sites replaces meeting and making friends in the real world. This can't be healthy O_o Personally, I am very reliant on facebook to keep in touch with my friends, but it can only go so far. Eventually, our "virtual friendship" will die off and what I have left in the end are my close friends that I see on a daily basis.
Hi Natalia & fellow classmates! =]

I just read all your comments right now. I've been down with the flu the past few days so I've been in bed or in class (barely). Hope you guys are feeling well and that I don't get you sick!

But I agree with how our generation is very private, but it's actually very open too. With Facebook and Twitter and bloggings, people can access your personal information easily. I can probably find out your hometowns and birthdays before I really get to meet you in person. We're private in the sense that we don't confront each other and start up small conversations. I just keep quiet to myself in class unless I know someone and then I would sit next to them and whatnot. But other than that, it's hard for me to approach someone new and just start talking. I'd be glad to talk to you if you come up to me but I wouldn't be the one that makes the first move.
Alyssa, I think I can relate to your response the most. I also feel uncomfortable voicing my opinions sometimes because I'm not sure how others will take it.

Anyway to answer the discussion question, I think it's hard to build new friendships with others because we are so comfortable in our own group of friends that we feel as if we don't need to make any more. If that makes sense? I also agree with the person who said we are a very private generation because people do tend to keep to themselves when they are in a new and unknown environment.
Another class... another section... it doesn't really seem worth it to try and branch out anymore. Most of the people I meet I never see again. That's what I've thought for the last year or two. Being in South Campus classes where there is no participation grade I feel like it really seems as though there isn't too much of a point. But hey it's not like meeting people is detrimental to yourself, so maybe it's time for me and everyone else to break the habit.
It is true that we live in our own little world. Since we already have made our own comfortable friends to have lunch, study, and hang out together, we are not that excited or willing to make a new friend. When I was a freshman, I tried to get closer to my classmates, because everyone is so new and I haven't made my friends yet. But now, I have my own friends, so I don't feel a desperate need to make new friends. For me, making friends is really hard. I'm not an outgoing person who would first come up and talk (I even have a phobia to talk in class, so I hate a class that requires a participation point). It takes a long time to open my heart and get close. I envy people who are outgoing and not awkward even at the first acquaintance. Of course, I am very comfortable, funny, and sometimes get crazy in front of my friends, but I wanna be like this anytime to anyone.

By the way, like other classmates have posted here, I agree that our generation has a pretty open mind, because we express ourselves and communicate each other through twitter, facebook, blogging, or aim. Without these social networking sites, I am not sure how I can keep in touch with all my friends and still stay close even though we can't see each other. It sometimes could be the best way to socialize and contact each other in this busy society, because we all have different schedules and life.


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