Thursday, August 3, 2017

billboard BREAKDOWN - hot 100 - august 12, 2017

...okay, the last time Meek Mill had a big album splash on Billboard BREAKDOWN, it was the night of the US election in 2016, and while I'm not going to say that's a bad omen right out of the gate, the fact that not only are the charts late but it's because this mediocre rapper decided to skew the streaming charts thanks to 'free streams' don't exactly give me a lot of hope that's there's much quality here. Hell, at least when Jay-Z did his brand deal this time around there was quality on the table!

Still, might as well get through this, and let's start with the top 10, where once again 'Despacito' by Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee, and Bieber occupies the top spot. Now granted, its margins at the top are shrinking, but without that challenger in any category, I'm not seeing what knocks it off the top. Points to DJ Khaled for trying with 'Wild Thoughts' with Rihanna and Bryson Tiller still at #2, but it's getting handily outstripped on streaming and the sales still aren't where they should be. And it's not like 'That's What I Like' by Bruno Mars is a serious contender: propped up on YouTube and residual airplay, it might have a little longevity but even that's shrinking. Then we have 'I'm The One' by DJ Khaled and his posse at #4 - not a lot to say there, with radio and sales in freefall the only thing holding this in the top 5 is YouTube, where it did admittedly have a decent week. Then we had the gains for 'Believer' by Imagine Dragons to #5, and I have to be honest, I'm surprised how much this has behind it, with consistent radio traction and good sales - sure, streaming isn't anything stellar, but it's holding up remarkably well. It managed to push back 'Unforgettable' by French Montana and Swae Lee, which took a bit of a hit of streaming and a big hit on sales but its radio held up enough to keep it at #6. Held up better than 'Shape Of You' by Ed Sheeran at #7, where radio inertia and YouTube are basically the only things holding it up, and even then I can see it being overtaken by 'There's Nothing Holding Me Back' by Shawn Mendes at #8, with big airplay growth and decent sales compensating for the fact that its streaming sucks. Which, like last week, is also the case for 'Attention' by Charlie Puth at #9 - better sales, less airplay at the moment - and 'Body Like A Back Road' by Sam Hunt forced to #10 - weaker in both categories and a steady sign of American cultural decline as now the longest running #1 in country music - without even being a country song, which has to count for something!

Bleh, moving aside that, let's focus on better things like our losers and dropouts, and in the latter category we had some big ones this week: 'Bad And Boujee' by Migos and Lil Uzi Vert, 'ISpy' by KYLE and Lil Yachty, '24K Magic' by Bruno Mars, 'The Cure' by Lady Gaga, 'Crying In The Club' by Camila Cabello, 'Every Time I Hear That Song' by Blake Shelton, and 'Weak' by AJR, thank Christ. But what seemed to categorize our losers most this week was reversals of fortune, because the only two that continued downwards from last week were 'The Story Of OJ' down hard to 95 and 'First Day Out' by Tee Grizzley to 84. Beyond that, most of the losers came off of gains last week: 'Down' by Fifth Harmony and Gucci Mane living up to its name at 90, 'Yours If You Want It' by Rascal Flatts to '87', 'Thunder' by Imagine Dragons to 69, and 'Fetish' by Selena Gomez and Gucci Mane to 41. In fact, former Disney princesses didn't have a good week as a whole, with Selena's other song 'Bad Liar' dropping hard to 54, 'Malibu' by Miley Cyrus to 42, and 'Most Girls' by Hailee Steinfeld to 72... actually, she's not with Disney and she's a far better actress, so I have no idea why she keeps trying to make a mediocre pop career work! Beyond all that, the other losers aren't all that surprising: 'Signs' by Drake to 98 because I'm fairly certain nobody liked that song, 'Reminder' by The Weeknd to 100 as it never really got traction, and 'My Girl' by Dylan Scott to 52, presumably because everyone finally saw the lyrics and senses returned - why they haven't done the same for Sam Hunt is an utter mystery to me, but whatever.

Unfortunately, when we look at our gains and returning entries things get a little more complicated, and not just because the best of our gains is probably 'Bodak Yellow' by Cardi B up to 28 - I'd sure as hell prefer it to 'Bank Account' by 21 Savage to 21, 'Mi Gente' by J Balvin and Willy William to 30, 'Whatever You Need' by Meek Mill, Chris Brown, and Ty Dolla $ign to 51, and 'Glorious' by Macklemore and Skylar Grey to 85! No, the sad news is that outside of 'The Fighter' by Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood somehow making another return after twenty weeks to 47, we also got a trio of returns for Linkin Park due to the tragic and unfortunate death of Chester Bennington. And look, I'm sure a bunch of you are wondering why I never really made a statement about it... well, the truth is that while I've appreciated a fair few Linkin Park songs and albums, I'd never say the band impacted my life in the same way it did for so many my age, I was never a huge fan. And as such I didn't think I was the right person to make that message - my buddy Jon over at ARTV captured the raw emotion way more effectively than I did, and I didn't want to do it a disservice by saying something half-hearted. That said, while I'm still no fan of 'Heavy' with Kiiara back at 45, and I never really liked 'In the End' back at 37, 'Numb' remains one of their best songs, and I easily prefer it back at 34 than the majority if not all of the new arrivals.

But yeah, about those... strap in, folks, when six of the ten are from Meek Mill and two are from the soundtrack of Descendents 2, it's going to get rough, so we're starting with...

99. 'Heavy Heart' by Meek Mill - you know, I'm still amazed that a rapper is allowed to get any sort of traction that within the first four bars of a verse he not only rhymes a word with itself but then flubs the rhyme in the very next couplet. It's the sort of thing that kind of takes me immediately out of a song that's trying to garner my sympathy for Meek Mill feeling sad about his success and come up... all the while still bragging about that success! And the problem's not the production - it's got some smooth twinkling elegance and chimes that ride a faint vocal sample and piano, it's the right sound for this sort of song - no, the problem is that Meek Mill can't stay consistently on topic or convince me that he's genuinely hurt by these events, mostly because from a delivery standpoint he's incredibly one-dimensional. But fine, maybe he'll fare better on something more aggressive like...

97. 'Fuck That Check Up' by Meek Mill ft. Lil Uzi Vert - okay, at least he's rhyming now... but by the end of his first verse, he's falling off the damn beat! But okay, fine, he's at least in his comfort zone in bragging about brand names and complaining about haters in the most basic and boring way possible, and Lil Uzi Vert actually surprised me a bit here for mostly having his rhymes connect. Sure, he's bragging about hitting your cousin and describes a diamond emergency as 'hitting nine-eleven', which is precisely the wrong way to describe that, but his haphazard flow at least feels a little more refined than his normal basic sloppiness, and the slightly more elegant blur of melody isn't a bad fit for this trap beat. But then we get Meek Mill's next verse, where in between the brand names and travelling he's talking about screwing a girl on an air mattress! I guess the contrast here is that he never had money before so he doesn't know how to spend it well... which I'm not sure I buy because Meek Mill has spent several albums bragging how much more he has than everyone and I'm not seeing anything that remotely implies sophistication or nuance. But fine, this is at least vaguely passable, what's next?

96. 'We Ball' by Meek Mill ft. Young Thug - okay, why is Meek Mill trying to sound like Young Thug with a more melodic, elongated delivery? It doesn't fit his vocal style, it sounds painfully forced especially with the Autotune, and it doesn't disguise how after establishing that this song is supposed to be about friends who were killed, midway through the verse it switches to focusing on how he wants to see his crew flossing. It's not a good sign when Young Thug is more on topic than you are - and while I'm never really a fan of cry-rapping, where it sounds like he's on the verge of tears to accentuate the instability, Young Thug isn't bad at it... although we could do without the outro hook which flips more to just balling around the city. I can say that the production at least makes sense, but at the same time, I'm coming to the realization that Meek Mill is being carried by more interesting guest stars on these tracks, and we've got no more guests on his songs. But before we get to that...

91. 'Imitadora' by Romeo Santos - okay, so I don't think I've made it a secret that most of the Latin music I've covered on Billboard BREAKDOWN I'm mostly ambivalent to - a lot of it just runs together and sounds the same. But Romeo Santos is not one of those guys, and 'Imitadora' is a solid example of that, mostly because he's a more ambitious and detailed songwriter and he actually picked up some peculiar production to go around it. I'm a little on the fence whether or not it works, switching from the glossy, darker synths that wouldn't be out of place on a Weeknd song before switching into a more textured Spanish guitar line that switches into bouncier major tones and it really feels like he's trying to combine about three different songs into one - although I'm definitely giving credit to actually putting something close to a guitar solo on this song and making that synth line really catchy. And the lyrics seem to fall into a similar odd category, as he's trying to seduce a woman who has changed dramatically since he knew her and now isn't showing him the same affection... maybe something is being lost in translation, but it still feels a little clumsy. Granted, that's representative of the performer, and I'll be blunt: the biggest hangup about Romeo Santos songs is Romeo Santos himself, because his willowy, frail falsetto just doesn't grip me - at least The Weeknd can bring some smolder or tightness, but Santos is just too delicate on these songs to really suck me in. Still, it's an intriguing piece, and I can see this growing on me, so we'll see.

83. '1942 Flows' by Meek Mill - okay, why does Meek Mill think his come-up is interesting, and why even mention that 'Trump ain't feeling us' - he really hasn't said much about hip-hop at all, much more busy screwing up in new and fascinating ways! The sad thing is that there's nothing about Meek Mill that is remotely new or fascinating - he barely stays on beat or rhymes, he talks about making girls screw their friends, thinks his staccato flow or singing sounds remotely good, has more aimless brand name bragging while demanding our sympathy, and references Damn Daniel - seriously. All of it is against production that, sure, isn't bad - Meek Mill has a decent ear for backing tones with some darker opulence opposite that piano - but even that starts to run together when he can't stay on topic or vary his delivery at all! In other words, Meek Mill might have many flows, but I'd be hardpressed to say he does any of them justice.

81. 'It's Goin' Down' by the Descendents 2 Cast - there's a part of me that gets why the whole Descendents franchise is a thing with the whole Disney Expanded Universe or whatever the hell they're calling it... but at the same time, I remember when this stuff was confined to, and not given a budget for TV movies! And if you read the plot of this stuff it really does feel like bad fanfiction, but fine, if you go back over the charts for years now this sort of crossover isn't new if there's music attached. The problem is that unlike a show like Glee these are all original songs - and they're terrible, the sort of songs that are written by studio hacks who are increasingly desperate to appeal to a younger demographic, whereas the truly great Disney songs that people remember came from composers who knew what the hell they were doing and never felt the need to force modernization where it wasn't needed. Which is why it has trap hi-hats and a deeper bass and Dove Cameron trying to rap and wow, this feels awkward. Now I'll admit I'm a sucker for pirate-themed music and yeah, some of the harmonies are not bad, mostly because China Anne McCain seems to have charisma to anchor her verses... but the entire song feels pretty basic - better than other Descendants-related music I've heard, and there's a part of me that would prefer this over Meek Mill, but even for its target audience this is pretty ridiculous - just saying.

79. 'Wins & Losses' by Meek Mill - okay, I'll be the first to admit that Meek Mill is always at his best with more bombastic, ridiculous production, it's really the only way I can get into his music, and with the big drums and the bells, it's a better fit for his delivery... his shouty, one-dimensional, lacking in any sort of serious grit delivery. And that's before you get to his flow, which again feels clumsy as he tries to tear through his bragging and barely staying on topic - and if even he thinks talking about his foreign cars is boring, why does he keep doing it? And with no serious bass or melodic modulation in his music, it's just not all that interesting as a whole, especially when there's no punchlines or standout bars to draw it all together. Again, it's in the right ballpark... but again, Meek Mill is by far the worst thing about these songs. And on that topic...

77. 'Issues' by Meek Mill - and now we get a rougher hollowed out mix before the airhorns and the trap beat come in and Meek Mill starts yammering about shooting people, wearing expensive shoes, and trying to carry his hook with Autotune that somehow does not make him sound good. Or interesting. But that's before he raps about making girls kiss his dead friend before we get more autotune and verses that just aren't worth remembering. Look, I'm rapidly reaching the point of wondering why the hell anyone likes or listens to Meek Mill - sure, the beats aren't bad, but it's not like his content or delivery or rapping ability is noteworthy, and the proof that Drake didn't effectively end his career is that I'm still having to deal with this mediocre garbage every eight or so months. In other words, this is not worth yours or anyone else's time- next!

61. 'What's My Name' by China Anne McCain ft. Thomas Doherty - okay, so apparently China Anne McCain is playing the villain in this Descendants sequel, and at least from what I heard on the other song she's got charisma and personality, so maybe this could work? Well, maybe it might have helped if we didn't get a chintzy synth tune and flimsy snap that feels anchoring the verses before a hollowed out post-chorus that just doesn't match all that well, and that's before we get the glassy, overmixed bridge that piles on the warping effects and just feels awkward. And sure, McCain can hold this song on her own - she's got at least equal pipes to your average mainstream R&B singer, and she's not really required to be subtle, but then Thomas Doherty shows up with a very thick British accent for a rap verse and I'm left feeling this song is trying to pick up something from grime and just missed the point, it's a weird moment! Again, I see this song's appeal - again, it appears Disney tried to bring actual quality this time around... but I also grew up in the golden era of Disney villain songs, and this is no 'Hellfire' or 'Be Prepared' or 'Poor Unfortunate Souls' or 'Ratigan'. Like the other track, I'm probably being more forgiving than I should be, especially as the lyrics do not hold up to much, but it's passable, if only barely.

40. 'Back To You' by Louis Tomlinson ft. Bebe Rexha & Digital Farm Animals - it really isn't a good sign when I feel I need to rely on easily the least interesting One Direction member for quality on the Hot 100 this week, but here we are, with Bebe Rexha playing counterpoint and British DJ Digital Farm Animals providing the whirring trap hi-hats, piano, and more bombastic chorus. And while Bebe Rexha has shown some competency over this sort of production, I'm increasingly convinced that it's just not a good fit for Louis - his voice is too frail and thin to command this sort of chorus, even if the song is trying for more intimacy! Which is a weird fit, considering the lyrics are so over the top in their presentation of a back-and-forth bad relationship - it's playing for melodrama but the production just doesn't consistently get there. Overall it's more bland than bad, but for everyone who thinks that Liam is making the worst music coming away from One Direction... yeah, you might want to hear this. Or don't, I advise that too.

So this week sucked royally, and if my sources are correct and we were delayed for the interchangeable mediocrity we got from Meek Mill - and yet for some ungodly reason if this kept Tyler, The Creator's new stuff from charting or even a few passable Lana Del Rey songs, there's no excuse. I can't in good conscience give an Honourable Mention, so best of the week is going to the only interesting and halfway competent song being 'Imitadora' by Romeo Santos, with two Dishonourable Mentions - and it's all going to Meek Mill. Worst is easily '1942 Flows', with the Dishonourable Mention tie going to 'Heavy Heart' and 'Issues'. Let's pray this garbage is swept away next week or as soon as possible!

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