Archive for June 20th, 2008

This is a word that the business world has torn apart.  Many have analyzed what make one a good leader.  People have also delved into why someone fails to properly lead when put into that position.  Of course, this is too broad a topic to fully disect here.  However, there are a few points that we need to discuss.

A Master is responsible for providing leadership in the relationship.  This is something that many desire to have yet fail to fulfill once they have it.  Being a leader entails being responsible for all that occurs.  As one President liked to say “the buck stops here”.  Many default to the blame mindset; they want to blame others whenever something goes wrong.  It is much easier to do this as compared to personally taking responsibility for what transpires.

Whenever I hear One discussing the breakup of His M/s relationship, I am astounded how few take the proper responsibility for what occurred.   It is common to hear how the slave did everything wrong.  The “if she only” mindset oozes out of every pore.  My quesion is “who was responsible for her”.  Once a Master determines that one is cut out to be a slave, it is His obligation to steer the relationship forward.  Naturally, there are situations that will not work out and where a parting of ways is necessary.  However, it rarely can be solely attributed to the slave’s shortcomings.  A true Master takes responsibility for what happens.

Leadership is not about bossing another around.  Many seem to feel that being dictatorial is how One leads.  This is not.  What this shows is really how insecure One is.  Witness some of the great leaders in history.  Rarely were they yelling at their men.  They were calm in the face of adversity.  Emotional control (mentioned in a number of other posts) is their demeanor.  They were willing to accept the responsbility for the outcome, both positive and negative.

What does all this have to do with the M/s relationship?  This pertains to uncovering One’s willingness to take responsbility for His slave’s grow.  What are you willing to do to make her more valauble?  Too often I see Masters getting their rocks off by having a slave repeatedly perform a task which demeans her.  I am all for the occasional ego-deflation.  It is a necessary part of training.  However, if there is not a solid reason for having a slave do soemthing, why is she doing it?

Here is an example which I heard a number of Masters do.  Webcams are a common in this age.  I heard of a number of Masters having their slaves watch while they were serviced by another.  What struck me as odd, is that they required this on numerous occasions.  When questioned, there was no viable answer for doing this other than for the Master’s pleasure.  Again, I can see this as a way to test the slave; to get her to show her willingness and commitment.  But repeatedly doing this does not seem to enhance her growth at all.  Where is the betterment of her as a slave?  This is what I see as lacking in the leadership department.

A true leader has a reason for having one engage in a particular activity.  His life is improved by her following through on the action.  Of course, not everything is done with a clear lesson or growth opportunity in mind.  Sometimes, One wants to have fun.  However, repreated degrading of a slave shows One lacks in the leadership department.  Is that the best You have to offer a slave?  Unless one is being trained to be a voyeur, there needs to be more to the relationship.

Failure to fulfill Your responsibility will lead to a failed relationship.  Those who cannot accept their part in it are doomed to repeat it again.  Sadly, the vast percentage of relationships end in breakup.  This is a fact of life.  Getting two people to merge their lives together in any capacity is difficult.  Yet it is magnified when one or both parties fail to uphold their part in it.  In the M/s world, leadership must come from the Master.

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Part of a Master’s responsibility to a slave is to find her limits. Also, once those limits are found, a good will Master will assist her is surpassing those limits. The main focus for a slave is growth. If a slave is growing, she is increasing to value. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true.

When people typically think of limits, the first ideas that come to mind are either sexually or in terms of pain. Often these are the initial areas that a Master will concentrate upon. Expanding a slave sexually to be able to serve Him is important. Also, some slaves reject the idea of pain only to find later that they really enjoyed it. Many are surprised at how much they can endure while coming to like the sensations felt. Of course, there are some who cannot tolerate much. Even the most experienced Master finds that there are limits to each slave that cannot be overcome. To force past it is abuse in my opinion. One wants to coax a slave to go beyond what she can initially take.

Leaving the sexual aspect of the lifestyle aside, there are other limits which slaves enter the relationship with. Many seem to have esteem issues that limit what they will undertake. An effective Master will see what a slave is capable of. Is she only able to handle household chores? What about her abilities in her profession? Is that something a Master can use to His benefit? Most are natural caretakers. Is this something that will help with a family situation? The bottom line is that a Master needs to look at all that a slave does and try to enlarge her capabilities. The starting point for me always seems to be in the area of self-confidence. As this grows, so does her ability to perform.

One final thought, it is important for a Master to understand when a limit was reached. Many will try to force past it. Again, I believe this to be abuse. A slave cannot perform every task assigned to her regardless of her desire. There are some things which are beyond her abilities. For example, I could beat a slave daily in an effort to get her to dunk a basketball. If she is not able to do it, added motivation will not enhance her ability to perform. By the way, I cannot dunk on either so it is a limitation that this One has also.

Find the limits and try to go beyond them. Yet remember, we want to avoid long-term harm by damaging our slaves mentally. If there is a limit which cannot be overcome, pull back.

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