Thursday, December 3, 2015

Mind Weeding: Freedom From Thought

I think this is what they call "baggage".  Although I'd always pictured it as something carried on my back, it's more accurate to say it's carried on my head.  Like a potted weeds I water with worry or anxious thought, the spindly growths become top heavy. 

It's time to weed, or at least begin a good pruning.

Thoughts seem to give rise to other thought, but what if I got myself a good batch of weed killer and doused the roots?  And I think I've figured out a way to do just that.  It's deceptively simple, as all effective inquiries seem to be. 

Here's how it goes.

In looking at thought itself, I can see that there's no way to predict them, no way of telling what sort will show up next.  But they're amazingly varied and lots of times, the content is just plain ridiculous.  So how do I know which to choose as valid or 'real'?  By what criteria is that choice made?  And do I even have control over which of them seem to carry more weight than the others?

When looking closely, it's evident that the worrisome ones are just a repetitive pattern.  They seem to take on 'weight' simply because they pop up often.  A feeling of "there must be something to this thought" comes up, even when the contents never materialize.  And most of the time... maybe more than 99% of the time, they never materialize.

Statistically, it's ridiculous to fret.

If I look even closer, I can see that thoughts are very mysterious and have no business causing anyone issue.  They come from nowhere (no material substance).  They exist nowhere (can't pick them up or collect them).  They disappear into nothing (can't even find them once they're gone).

In what world does something non material, something that has no shape, size, color, or texture become threatening or cause harm?  This makes little sense.  What if I gave thoughts the weight they deserve... none?

I have to admit that the last thing that would help with this inquiry is to think about it.  Rather than stopping thought, which is what a lot of spiritual folks tend to try to do, it seems to me it's much better to just see through it. 

Freedom from believing in ghosts we call "thoughts".  Right now, that makes sense.

Friday, November 13, 2015

The Myth of Separation - You are not alone

If my beliefs truly had any substance the world would long ago have become overpopulated with fairies, leprechauns, and regular disasters from imagined house fires, accidents, and an assortment of personal embarrassments.

That's what I know about beliefs, but I'll take a closer look at this particular inquiry!

I have a body
In looking for what has a body, or owns one, I've admitted in previous posts that there's really nothing there as owner.  The owner is an assumption that just doesn't stand up to examination.  You can read about that inquiry here.  And in one simple question to wake up, here.

I need to compete
Normally, I'd say that I'm not a competitive person, but selves are always trying to measure up against other selves.  It seems to be a very good way to solidify a self, actually, because there's a subject/object kind of dynamic going on.  I can see that without an "other" who is different, whether I'm being snarky and making comments about their being worse or better, there's really no "me" here.  They cancel each other out very nicely.

I am not good enough
This is the same as "I need to compete", but dressed in drag.  It's still a comparison born of creating an other.  Is there actually an other?  It doesn't seem so!  It's happening only in my mind because there's nothing in reality that says that "my body" belongs to something that exists here in any essential way, so how could something other over there exist separately?  Mysterious.

I have to try harder
Oh, this is a good one.  I can see that at this point, we have a cascade of beliefs which started with the very first fallacy, that there is something here that has a body.  Owns a body.  That there's a little Delma in the head steering Delma's mind and body (talk about redundant!)   So what exactly would have to try harder?  I can't find anything!

These inquiries always leave "me" mysteriously empty of self consciousness, and the heavy burden of trying to *be* something or someone special. 

Sunday, November 1, 2015

A Really Short Tale About the Internet





Squiggle wars.

Very strange.

What exactly am I reacting to?

Thursday, October 15, 2015

When There's No Escape, Look for the Escapee

Artwork by Ingrid Lill

This simple little drawing holds the key to breaking through some points of inquiry I've been trying to get at for a while.  Only I didn't realize I'd been trying.

It's funny how when you need something (and I don't mean material things, I mean life lessons), it comes right to your doorstep.  In this case, it came to my computer screen in the form of Ingrid's next doodle in her facebook doodle stream,  Just this morning, rather than try to stop my habit of negative thinking, I sat down with it.

Like a lot of people, a generalized sense of anxiety about a nebulously uneasy expectation can sneak up on me.  This usually happens in the middle of the night and kicks off with one of those dreams with a repetitive themes.  For me, the theme is generally centered around an apocalyptic event.  A tsunami.  Nuclear War.  Something fun like that. 

The secondary theme both within the dream and outside of it seems to be about escape.  I just want to run as far from the situation as possible, and without a glance back.  I want to escape my own skin.

But what if there is no need for escape from anything at all?  What if the situation doesn't apply to anyone and is just a situation, happening?  What if the troublesome habit IS the self?  It has to be because there's actually nothing holding onto it.  I just checked.  And there was no sign of an owner of a habit.

So, if I try to find the thing that escapes a physical situation, it would be the body moving away from a point in space or time.  But if it's an escape from the habit of anxiety, it's all about getting away from thought.

What would get away from thought?


Saturday, October 3, 2015

Gap Analysis- Finding the Space Between Thoughts



Here's a head scratcher:


What is thinking?

or better yet,

What IS it that is thinking?



The gaps are thoroughly enjoyed by no one at all.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Meditation: Just Practicing for the Big Game

Artwork by Ingrid Lill


As you can see, I've got meditation issues.


It's practice for the Big Game.



"Hey, what's up?"
"Yeah.  Been working on that for years."

Instant conversation killer.



Monday, September 14, 2015

Waking Up: A Zero Sum Game


