Dont feel special in relationship but love

How to Feel Loved: 14 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow

dont feel special in relationship but love

If you don't feel secure, comfortable, and loved in your relationship, then you may be with the wrong guy. Feeling insecure and unsure are two warning signs of. Take a look at how you define love and think about maybe redefining it. Love doesn't have to come from a romantic relationship, and it doesn't have to include . The first step to feeling more loved is creating close relationships, and that starts with meaningful, engaged conversations. These don't necessarily need to be.

And that is a warning sign of unhealthy love. Are you keeping secrets from your boyfriend or husband? Are you keeping secrets from your family and friends about your boyfriend, by protecting him from his own behavior or choices?

The Secret You Need To Know About Feeling Loved In A Relationship - mindbodygreen

Have you lost yourself in your relationship? In it, Talane Miedaner shows us how to meet our own emotional needs. One Blossom Tip a week. Examples of keeping secrets include: The more you hide, the worse your relationship is. This is one of the biggest warning signs of bad relationships: Are you happy with yourself?

dont feel special in relationship but love

No matter how your boyfriend feels about you, you need to find ways to love and accept yourself. Your boyfriend or husband is suspicious and jealous Constant phone calls, demands on your time, and jealous fits are NOT signs of love. This is a sign of deep insecurity, which could lead to more serious relationship problems. Talk to someone you trust in person. You can share your comments here, you can write about a more specific warning sign of a bad relationship, but please talk to someone in person.

Get it out of the dark, into the light. You know you deserve better, but you feel trapped and helpless. You do not have to stay in a bad relationship. Even if you only recognize one of these warning signs — and even if you have six children and a mortgage together — you do not have to stay with a man who is abusive.

Are you submissive and subservient to your husband, or afraid of telling your boyfriend what you really think and feel? Warning signs of bad relationships!! The healthiest relationships involve give and take, which means we take turns giving and taking. Your husband should not patronize you or treat you like a child, housekeeper, errand runner, or slave. Nobody has the exact same plans for the future, but the happiest couples have the same focus for their lives and futures.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what could be. Believe his nonverbal behavior his actions over his verbal behavior talk is cheap! Do not believe what he says. Believe what he DOES. Then you should believe him. Feeling insecure and unsure are two warning signs of bad relationships that should never be ignored.

How do you feel about yourself — separate from your boyfriend or husband? What is your source of identity and self-image? He is an addition to your life. Is there anything I can do to rehabilitate our relationship? Sometimes just putting everything in writing can help it sink in. Another option is counseling. What I would recommend is that you don't get married until you feel MUCH better about this, because stuff like this will often not get better, but just get worse over time.

Reading your question, I assumed you all had been dating for a few months or maybe a year but you have been dating for 5 years and you don't feel "sexy or loved" in your relationship? Either one of those things would be deal breakers for me after just a few months.

Did you ever feel cherished, loved or sexy in these five years you've been together? Is this something that was there early on but waned? I guess if you were my friend, I would want you to know that by definition, a good relationship is one in which you feel loved and cherished -- and if you aren't feeling those things, then it isn't a good relationship.

Have you two tried couple's counseling? You say you've tried to talk about this but he doesn't seem to get it. Otherwise, have you read "The Five Love Languages"? Taking a look at that book together might help you understand how both of you communicate and receive love.

Telling him you don't feel cherished isn't But telling him what you need him to do or say for you to feel cherished is quite actionable. Most partners actually do want to give you what you want, so the reaction to direct requests is a pretty good tell about how cherished you actually are.

dont feel special in relationship but love

If you want something, you just have to be direct and ask for it. It sounds like you've talked about this in the past, but maybe he feels that it was a one-time thing? If I were in your position, I would work on being more direct and mirroring what you want from him.

You want him to ask you to cuddle, then you need to ask him to cuddle with you. You ask him; he comes over and snuggles with you; you tell him verbally how much you enjoy it and how happy it makes you feel. Rinse and repeat until he starts initiating as well. Then you're both asking for cuddles. If, for example, you want him to get you flowers randomly, you need to ask him to surprise you with flowers occasionally. Not by dropping hints, but a blatant ask. It seems unromantic, but it's still wonderful when he gets them.


Let him know that it's important to you. If he loves you, he will want to show you his love in ways that make you happy. As for the "I love you's", that could be that he prefers to show his love in other ways. It's possible that his family growing up wasn't very affectionate, so he hasn't seen it in action. Tell him you love him when you want to. If you start being overly verbal, hopefully he will respond in kind. Upon preview though, I also have to agree with the others - I didn't quite realize this was a 5-year relationship.

Don't get married until you know that you are loved, and are fulfilled in the relationship. In the grand scheme of things, don't stay in a relationship just because of sunken costs.

I too was surprised this wasn't months. Don't settle for feeling unwanted. Show him what you've written.

dont feel special in relationship but love

You have to have this talk with him with the stakes being appropriately high. He needs to know that something has to change or end. Your wants and needs are totally reasonable and this is not a sustainable status quo.

Take this Love Langues quiz with him and discover how you may differ. This is a two-way street, so you can rehabilitate your relationship together. Hopefully you can learn something about one another and grow as a couple! There's plenty of evidence that suggests he is attracted to you.

  • 10 Warning Signs of a Bad Relationship

So if that's a question in your head I think you shouldn't worry too much about that. Now you say you're pretty tough and independent. You also say that he is on the shyer side. On the one hand your relationship probably functions fluidly because there's a dominant person and a submissive person. But from what I can see it looks like you're the dominant person and he's the submissive person.

And I think rarely do relationships exist without that dynamic but it's possible what you're feeling is a biological reaction to the fact that traditionally the male is usually the dominant one and the female is the submissive one. Given how long you've been together this may not be a situation where you can reverse the dynamic.

But one thing I might suggest I'm not saying don't be yourself but if you want him to take on the role of the dominant male you need to assume the role of the submissive female. But how romantic can he be if his girlfriend doesn't seem like the type to respond to romantic gestures.

Why You Can't Feel Loved For Who You Are - Teal Swan -

If he feels you won't appreciate that sort of thing he's not gonna do it. I don't think this is a case where he doesn't love you. Maybe he doesn't say it I think he does love you and is committed to you.

The dynamic here just needs to be adjusted. Start by adjusting it on your end and see how he reacts. Hopefully you'll see a change in his behavior. It requires talking, sometimes quite frankly, without being afraid of the intensity of the topic but while being mindful that people are delicate when they are vulnerable.

The bad news is that a lot of people can't, or won't, do that work. Women are strongly socialized that they can't ask for it, it has to be spontaneously given or it doesn't count, and men are socialized to never ever do this sort of thing. A lot of people are shamed or punished for it, or have tried and been met with such resistance or embarrassment from a partner they never try again. After five years, starting and having these conversations are going to be a lot harder than after 5 months would have been.

If you're really looking at a long-haul situation with this person and this is a dealbreaker, communication coaching from a therapist might be helpful - among other things, it gives people a "pass" from the judgement narratives in their heads, since the coaching is something sought out and paid for.

That way everyone arrives anticipating, prepared, not in the middle of something else, phone put away, entirely focused. This is basically why affairs are so compelling to some people, because everyone Shows The Hell Up in a way that can be much harder to do when you're always together and always in the middle of life stuff. I'm not saying you can never have intimacy outside of scheduled time, but if you start with scheduled time then everyone gets to rehearse how to bring their A-game, which not everybody knows how to do organically.