Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Its sometimes all about the company we keep....

In times when its hard for me its much more helpful to be around people who are also going to help me be strong in my fight!
I don't care about what others are eating per say or what their doing… (I've had to get use to that)
But its emotionally draining to be around others when I am fighting a battle in my own head about food and then no one else cares about it.
It’s a head thing, its weird because I don't exactly know how I feel just know I am not way motivated. When I am around other people in my life who are struggling and they just throw all of the hard work out the door and sor tof give up, I feel it too.
I've started to become a little unglued in my inspiration of losing, I think it has to do with not having a loss in over 2 weeks. I am not saying I need instant gratification but when I am doing what I am "suppose" to and not losing it drains on my own self esteem. I think it might be too that its that time of the month right now so I just want to eat as opposed to being ok with what I've got...

Maybe the fact that I haven't written anything down over my food issues...that's been bothering me!
I have been "fine" and now I'm not. When does this process fix it self. When does my mind catch up with what I am doing and when does this stop being so hard?