Are you still attracted to your EXes?

I hate to say this, but I no longer find the majority of my ex BFs attractive. This either means... I'm kinda crazy fickle.... one minute I look at them and swoon, the next minute they repulse me. Or it means that I'm so biased and deluded that when they're mine, I only see the good parts and ignore the bad.

I've been thinking about it this morning, and perhaps, it's just a natural mechanism in me... that after a break up, my mind starts to only see the bad features so I won't want to go back to an ex? But then, if this is true, shouldn't I be un-attracted to ALL my exes? I probably would only say a couple of them are still attractive in my eyes (not that I want to be with them... but fair dos... I cannot look at them and say Ugh! What was I thinking?! Namely the handsome Austrian that looks like Thor/Chris Hemsworth and the Hungarian GB with broad strong shoulders, albeit he does have a slightly Slavic face and bad temper )

For the rest of my exes... all i see are a mish mash of- dirty teeth, smelly, show off, scrawny, loser, cheater, pot bellied, big nosed, gross feet.... yeah some are even a whole concoction of the above.

But if they're so undesirable... then what was I doing with them in the first place?! What about your exes... being completely honest, when you look at them, would you still say they were attractive people?


Anonymous said…
For me, when i look for a gf, i tend to look into everything i can like about her, up to and including the possibility that we break up, if we can remain friends. If she has been such a wonderful person for me to be attracted to, she has to be a nice person both in personality and physically right?

The catch is, the "trial" period prior to being together will be quite long for assessment lol.
Anonymous said…
Hi Holly, interesting topic.

For me, the hot ones remain hot, the average ones and ugly ones just seem even more unattractive. But the hot ones are still damn objectively hot (physically that is).

I don't look at them with as much (if any) interest as I used to of course because they are all off limits to me now. I am happily married :)

But sure, if they're hot, they're hot. But that doesn't mean they're marriage material and it doesn't mean that they're a good catch. Some of the hottest men are the worst husbands - but, it was good fun while it lasted!

Anonymous said…
I did look back and thought to myself "URGH! Why did I even end up with them in the first place?"
Anonymous said…
I only had one ex bf and he is the most unattractive catch ever.. Physically and in terms of boyfriend standards. As a friend and person he is fine but not as a bf! Wasted so much of my best years on him!
Anonymous said…
same here!
Anonymous said…
I admit I still find my x attractive. When I was with him he seriously din treat mi well... Stingy, not loving, selfish n insensitive. I lookedback I was miss treated. But why I still
Yearn to see him talk to
Him I seriously wonder