Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Top Alternatives To Ghosting

I'm pretty positive that most of us understand the term "ghosting" these days, but for those who don't, it's when you are talking to someone or even dating someone and then they simply disappear. They stop calling, stop texting, and when you ask them why they don't respond. It's as if they fell off the face of the earth, but you know that they really did not fall off the earth!

Ghosting, dating, online dating

It happens a lot! Especially with online dating. You can spend hours talking to someone for weeks, even months, and then they just disappear.

I just assume that they are either married and the wifey found out or guilt stepped in, they lost interest, or you were on a long list of other people they were talking to and someone else won them over better than you did. No matter what the reason is, ghosting sucks! It is a shitty thing to do to someone especially if they have invested a lot of time getting to know you and you them. It's hurftul and it really does a number on the other person's self-esteem, forcing them to question if they did or said something wrong.

And typically when a person ghosts, it's because they don't have the balls to face you and tell you the reasons that they don't want to talk to you. So instead of just manning up and doing what they should do, they make you sit there and wonder what you did wrong or feel like you just weren't good enough. Did I say something wrong? Was it the pictures I sent? Was there someone else? You don't give them a chance to get closure on the situation.

I mean, I get it. There have been times where I thought someone was interesting in the beginning, only to get to know them better and find out they are a real bore or have other issues that I'm just not looking to deal with in a relationship. It happens. It does suck having to tell someone that you're not interested because you don't want to hurt their feelings and you're not sure how they will react.

Some Examples Of How To Let Someone Down Without Ghosting

Try some of these:

Hey (name), I've enjoyed chatting with you, but I just don't think we are a good match. We seem to be looking for different things. I wish you lots of luck!

Hi (name). Thank you for dinner on Sunday, the food was great. I just didn't feel much chemistry between us, so I don't think there will be a second date. Good luck.

Look, I have to be honest. I've been talking to someone else, and we went out on a date over the weekend and really hit it off, so I'd like to see where things go with her.

The last one is an actual text I got a few months ago. Although it stung a little bit because I felt like we had really hit it off, I appreciated his honesty. I'm sure it took a lot of guts to send it.

There are lots of ways that you can let someone down easy. You don't have to be a dick about it, just be honest! The last guy who ghosted me kept using the excuse that he was busy. The too busy excuse pisses me off because it only takes a minute or two to say, "hey I'm thinking of you, just been really busy. Hope to chat soon!" just to let them know that you are still interested.

This same guy who used the excuse that he was too busy was also posting multiple photos on MeetMe and Instagram. Obviously, he wasn't THAT busy. And he must have forgotten that I was following him on both of those platforms.

If the other person you are talking to is a mature adult, they will understand the situation and accept it without any drama. Unfortunately, not everyone is a mature adult and some people may blow it up into a bunch of drama. In that case, there is always the block button.

Of course, we are not going to "vibe" with everyone we meet while dating. That's why people go on dates -- to see if there is good chemistry there and if you hit it off. Sometimes that chemistry is hard to find. Sometimes one person may feel it when the other doesn't.

Ghosting someone is the chicken shit's way out. It's like playing hide and seek and hoping the other person doesn't find you. It's going to hurt them more if you just disappear without any reason, and they may continue to blow up your phone in an attempt to figure out what's wrong. They may even be worried that you are sick or hurt. No one deserves that.

Moral of the story:


Unless the person is a complete psycho or completely rude, there is no reason to disappear on anyone like that. Ghosting makes you look like an asshole -- don't be that person.

Be sure to share this using the buttons below!

More For You

No comments:

Post a Comment