Saturday, August 3, 2013

Convos with the kids Vol. II

Can we just not talk about my epic 7 in 7 failure and I'll share some weird things my kids said as a peace offering??  Mmmmk great.  Thanks.


Ava, while reading a book about children who don't want to eat their dinner: Mom, why don't those boys want to eat their dinner?
Me: Well, why didn't you want to eat your dinner tonight?
Ava: ...You're trying to trick me, you sniveling goose!!

Ava to Clare while they were playing: No, Clare. I'M going to be the mom because I'm 4 and you are 2 and you are just a child and I am in charge of my bones.
(Not really sure what that all means, but I guess she's technically correct...)

Ava, to Clare, who was screaming bloody murder: Clare, you may only scream like that if a bear is eating you or attacking you.
(That's the rule at our house.)

Ava, looking at her birthday banner on the wall: Mom, why isn't there an "F" on the happy birthday sign??
Me: Because there is no "F" in "happy birthday"...?
Ava: Yes there is!!  Listen!!  Happy BirFFFFFFFFFFday!!!

Ava: Daddy, how does God take us up to heaven?
Stephen: We don't know exactly.  It's a mystery.
Ava: I think Jesus uses his magic sparkles.
(Well, I guess we can't rule that out.)

Ava, after seeing my underwear in the laundry pile: MOM! Did you PEE in your panties???!!!
(No dear, that's not the only reason we wash our underwear...)

Clare has a few things to say these days too...

Clare: Mom!!!!!!! What it?? What from??? From what?? It what from!!! from??  What it from??!!!
Me: .....
Ummm....what it from..??
Clare: I fink it from Target!
Me: What's from Target?
Clare: ...I don't know ANYTHING!!! (Turns and runs away...)

Clare: I wike your toenails!!  They are orange!  I don't even have toenails.

Clare: Mommy, can you put on my strawberry shortcake pajamas??
Me: You don't have any strawberry shortcake pajamas.
Clare: Oh...could you buy some??
(Clare is not known for her subtle approach...)

Clare, sadly, while slumped over her "laptop" at the table: I didn't get any emails.
Me: Do you want me to send you an email?
Clare: YES!!!!!!!!!  When I'm older.

After greeting Stephen, who was carrying a pack of Mike's hard lemonade, at the door...

(And for the record, we have never ever let her have booze.)
(But 2 year olds apparently think it's hilarious to ask anyway.)

And sometimes they just have absurd conversations.

Ava, sitting RIGHT next to Clare, who was dropping food into her water glass: GROSS, CLARE!! GROSS!!!
Clare: What??
Ava: GROSS!!
Clare: What??
Clare: What??
Ava: You heard me, Clare!!!
Clare: No I didn't. I was eating!
Ava: (Sighs) Ok, I will only say it ONE MORE TIME.  GROSS, Clare.
Clare: What??
Ava: UH OH CLARE.  Now you've done it!!!!!!
(You keep on using that word...I do not think it means what you think it means...)

Ok I have devised a schedule for next week that I think will  realistically allow me to pull together at least 2 blog posts.  I think.  So - I will hopefully see you Wednesday for that what I'm reading post...


  1. fabulous. your children are hysterically amazing. i always feel like the goofiness that comes out of mason and norah's mouths gets me through the 900th time out of the day.

  2. I laughed so hard my entire way through this post. I LOVE this. I have to start remembering to write down the funny things my kids say lol. I loved reading this. And I seriously think of your Clare as being just like my Britany. I have a feeling they'd be hilarious together. And I love the things Ava is coming up with. Too funny. Love that she's in charge of her bones... hahaha

  3. If it makes you feel any better, I failed at 7 in 7 too. And your kids are hilarious and awesome.

  4. I second Clare's comment. Give me some dat booze! :-)

  5. Their expressions and the photos to go along with them are priceless! Glad you are recording all of this, because this chapter in your life is going to just zip by!

  6. Hey Jamie!

    I'm Emily (your Emily's kindred spirit, southern friend, and overall partner-in-crime... we're going to Europe someday, you know - yeah, we're international spies... but shhh, no one knows it but us).

    Anyway, all I can say is Ava and Clare are absolutely hilarious. Though I personally liked your Princess Bride quote (I'm homeschooled - what can I say?). Oh, and you can tell Ava that I'm in charge of my bones too... I think... ;)

    Anywho, I just destroyed my dignity in this comment, but since I feel I know y'all already, I don't mind so much. ;)

  7. ::helpless giggles:: WHY have I not been following your blog? Well, that changes right now!

  8. i literally laughed so hard reading this whole thing. ;) kiddos are the best, aren't they? the things they say make absolutely no sense most of the time, and yet we remember them. :) xx

  9. When I read through your blog back to the beginning. I loved looking at all the photos of your business! It truly is beautiful & your work is amazing! I loved seeing how you made the molds! You also may open blog about fiverr. If you have a clear, satisfactory speech, it will be simple for you to make an sound for businesses. You can use your speech and offer the sound tracks over and over. You can also make some musical items and offer them to your customers. You can use your recommendations and drive them to and make reasonable residual earnings without promoting your top great quality sound computer file with copyrights.

  10. Remember when you wrote this and promised us two blog posts and that was SIX MONTHS AGO????

    Just a subtle reminder that I think you're really funny and I internet miss you. Also I real life miss you, but I real life miss everyone, so it doesn't count for as much. Come back!