Monday, February 25, 2013

Insert Military Slogan Here

UntitledYou know how we're always saying stuff about "becoming a better person?" It's easy to gloss over the fact that that also means we're not our best version yet.

I hate line cutters. I get an extraordinary joy out of making them backtrack. It's unseemly, really. Whether it's a car in a merge lane or a pedestrian on the subway stairs I throw my everything into making sure that they wait their damn turn and hold my arms aloft Rocky-style when I win.

This morning I started up the stairs from the train and had the usual feelings about the trip. Recently one staircase has been closed down so everyone is jamming into one. This makes it even more important (in my tiny mind) that we all keep to the right in single file to leave the other lane free for people going downstairs. Folks mill about at the bottom, jockeying gently for position. You can tell the passers because they're looking up, checking for a break in the flow of downward traffic so they can jump into the left lane and go around. If someone starts down before they make it to the top they shoulder in to the plodding right lane and bide their time at our lowly pace until another opening appears.

As I mounted the first stair the guy behind me was clearly a passer. He was peeking out around me to see his moment. I prepared, gripping my book a little tighter, folding my elbows in, inching closer to the woman ahead of me. Tapping her heel with my toe and leaving my face inches from her derriere were small prices to pay in the interest of justice. Out the guy went but I was ready. When a kindly older lady met him face to face he tried to squeeze in front of me and met my implacable elbow. He had to fade back! He apologized to me! Victory in our time!

I sucked on that lozenge of triumph for a few more stairs, until the guy pulled out again and jogged to the top of the stairs. At that point I started to maybe feel not so great about myself. It's possible I might need to work harder on letting things go and picking my battles. I'm so bad at letting things go.

Any suggestions?


  1. Haha no. I mercilessly grin at people who have zoomed through traffic, only to have me catch up with them at the next stoplight. And as far as being a better person, yesterday this lady was looking for my neighbor because her daughter had lost her cell phone and the GPS brought her to my neighbor's house. She asked me to give a note to Gabriella, but then she insulted our neighborhood and said she was from the Orange County. I still have the note. I'm pondering what to do.

  2. And I think of you as a much better person than I am so suddenly I'm feeling a lot better.

  3. My evening commute on Pacific Coast Highway includes a busy intersection where three lanes merge into two. Inevitably, there are always drivers who insist on going as far as they can on the diminishing outside lane. I'm usually a merge-enabler, but sometimes, especially if it's a pushy Mercedes or BMW, I hug the bumper of the car ahead of me and freeze the bastards out.

  4. I have a very hard time letting things go too, even when I know, logically, that they are sometimes very small things. I think it's a Capricorn thing; sometimes you have to take the victories where they lie.