Casting The Raj Rajaratnam Movie


Earlier this morning, Raj Rajaratnam was found guilty on 9 counts on insider trading and 5 counts of conspiracy. He is probably not in the best of moods right now, as he may be going away to a place that doesn't give you extra mayo on the side of your tuna sandwich, for nearly 20 years. But there is some good news, which is that someone will most likely make a movie about this whole thing. To give producers a jump start, we will start the casting process now.

The following roles need to be filled:

* Raj Rajaratnam- The Guy

* Danielle Chiesi- The Girl who reels in tips with her fishnet stockings

* Anil Kumar- The McKinsey guy who faithfully provided Raj with inside info

* Rajat Gupta- The Goldman board member

* Bob Moffat- The IBM exec who cried over Danielle Chiesi in public at least three time, and then promised to never open his heart to a woman other than his wife again

* The Dwarf- The little person who was hired by Raj as an April Fool’s Day joke, and introduced to employees as a new analyst brought on to cover “small-cap” stocks

* Keryn Limmer- The Galleon analyst who Raj paid $5,000 to be tased when execs from stun-gun maker Taser International came to make a pitch in 2005 (“Employees gathered around as two people propped up trader Keryn Limmer at the elbows and another person fired the weapon. Ms. Limmer’s legs buckled beneath her from the shock”)

* The Idiot Analyst- The Galleon Group analyst who was called an ‘idiot’ by Raj for questioning the hedge fund manager’s inside information about Goldman Sachs, given to him by a board member

* The Spandex Analyst- The Galleon junior female analyst Raj told to buy a spandex outfit from Lululemon, wear it to the firm’s morning meeting and “walk back and forth on top of the conference table” while Raj commented that “few consumers would pay so much money for the expensive outfit in a recession”