Saturday, December 29, 2012


There's an old saying that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. I'm find that i have many a dehydrated horse around me lately and none of them are drinking. Even if you push the sons of a bitches in when their mouth is open into said water, they're the type of horses that won't swallow (that's what she said). So what are you supposed to do?

I imagine that most of you reading this are adults and you know that you can advise, warn, scream, yell, reason, plead and beg with your friends/family/significant/insignificant other to do or not do something but ultimately, they're the ones who are going to be making the decision and either they'll reap the benefits if things go well or face the consequences.

It's really hard not want to do the Grace from Will and Grace "I told you so" dance when they face the consequences you warned them about. Instead, you're supposed to be supportive and take the higher road*

*Note: The higher road is known as the more mature and noble and humble road but isnt calling it 'higher' pretentious itself?

Anyways, readers, horses, I digress.

There are times when you let people just do whatever b/c they're going to do whatever they want anyways, but at what point do you chime in and say something?

It's hard because for me personally, what credentials do I have-- I'm the polar opposite of perfect and my life certainly isn't the way I imagined so who am I do dish out advice? I know for the most part how to pick and choose my battles but I have several wars ahead and not sure how to handle them. UGH. Why don't we ever listen to those around us? Myself included, in particular to M.F. who is definitely pushing it lately with me but that's a separate blog/rant all together.

Well, this is quite the awkward way to leave off but I'll let you know how things shake out. For now, I'll leave you with song titles that represent the different scenarios I face and you can glean from them whatever you want:

1.) I'm Not Okay - MCR
2.) Wrong Way - Sublime
3.) Face Down - Red Jumpsuit
4.) The Last Song -All American Rejects
5.) Don't Look Back in Anger - Oasis

Friday, December 14, 2012

Tears in Heaven

As a writer, I'm never really short of things to say but the complete devastation and horror of what happened in Connecticut has left me speechless. There are no words I can think of to express my sorrow for the parents, families, the community in general. And I'm sure many people have echoed this sentiment on Facebook and twitter and other forms of social media to the point where it may sound cliche and generic but I don't feel that it is cliche nor generic. It's real. All of our hearts are breaking. The hardest question I'm finding is a simple one word question--why? Why did this have to happen? Why would anyone do something so fucking vicious and flat out evil? We all keep saying after a tragedy that things have got to change. Why hasn't it? Why? I know something's in life are out of our control but dammit there has to be something... We cannot keep living in this kind of world. 

I had dinner tonight with a very dear friend of mine and we talked about this for a bit and she said something that touched my heart. She was commenting on how awful this is and how she wishes that people would get this mad and this upset about all the other stuff that goes on in the world too like the train/bus accident that killed 51 people, mostly children in Egypt. Granted, that may have been an accident versus a fucking psychopath with a gun but those children lost their lives too. I am guilty of not paying as much attention to that story as the one in Connecticut but the bottom line is a tragedy is a tragedy and not a competition. 

It's not just the holiday season that's making me so emotional. It's not even my period which has made me beyond cray cray the past two days. It's the fact that these stories keep happening and so often that the reaction after the initial and lingering horror is, "AGAIN??? ANOTHER ONE??" It's just fucking terrible. 

Please... I dont know who even reads this anymore but if anyone is, please exercise kindness. It's free and it doesn't hurt and it's so damn easy. Be kind to one another even when it seems impossible (i.e. that slow asshole you're stuck driving behind). 

It's the least we can all to do as fellow humans.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

All You Need Is Positivety

Hahahah i love this some ecard that ...person X sent me. It's not relevant to today's rant.

Actually. In a way it is. So here we go.

Oh Spice Girls...Anyone who says that they don't like at least one Spice Girls song is a damn liar. A DAMN LIAR. Male, female, gay or straight or somewhere in between--everyone likes at least one spice girls song.

But today's message is not about them. It's about me. Like duh....

KIDDING. Ew I hate people like that.


Because I never know the rules about talking about certain things, this will have to be another ambiguous post.

Something extremely....unexpected and unnerving has happened in my world. It was more to deal with than I had expected. It was extremely emotionally painful and scary to be honest. (note: I'm not dying!!!)

I cried a very bittersweet cry. Well more like ugly sob cry. Either way, it was the ending of something that was the lightest and brightest that I have felt in a long time. It wasn't perfect but it did help me restore faith in others again. It was good to me when I really needed it and continues to do so but in a different way.

And for once in my life, I looked at the situation and saw the... [pauses trying to think of a word that's not horribly cliche or corny] I saw the...hope for lack of a better word  in what happened. Like it was the little flower that grew out of the fucked up crack in the sidewalk.

Hmph. I guess maybe blogging wasn't such a bright idea since I can't speak specifically to what's going.

Well I guess this will be less thought provoking and profound than what I anticipated. Hahha

Fine. I'll leave you with this:

Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith on your own and not b/c someone pushed you. Maybe those five british girls were right and that sometimes all you need is positivety. And I don't mean positive in the "youre trying sooooooooooo hard to be positive everyone can tell that it's positively FAKE" per the some e-card above. I mean like a genuine, hey i think this is good. Sometimes it's denial but it can't always be right? Sometimes it IS something positive and good.

Well... We'll see how this pans out. I'll keep you posted and by then can hopefully speak more directly to the topic.

Oh and another thing those gals were right about?

Spice up your life. I mean OBVIOUSLY.

Thursday, November 8, 2012


I struggled with what to title this blog, song wise. There was the option of Karma by Alicia Keyes which is quite possibly one of the worst songs ever (love Miss Keyes, hate the song) or Karma Police by Radiohead (that song scares me though) or Karma Chameleon by Culture Club but I'm not really sure what a Karma Chameleon is.

Anyways. I needed something relating to Karma. And this isn't my usual passive aggressive I'm talking about someone specific but can't say their name b/c they may read my blog thing. It's more about me today. ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.

Hahhah anyways, I have NO idea why but I'm feeling quite blue today. I didn't feel it all day but around lunch time it definitely acted like a boulder tied to my ankle and thrown into the ocean. I dont know what it is! I guess it didn't help that one of my most favorite people at work quit today and he's gone. And it certainly didn't help that only two weeks ago another one of my favorites quit as well! I'm so annoyed with my favorites just leaving a Sally but at least I have some favorites left.

Okay back to Karma.

I know I'm not a perfect person but I think I do a lot of nice things for people. Like a lot of people and a lot of things. I dont do them with the expectation to get something back but it would be nice once in a while. I help people I know and dont know get jobs by trying to connect them to my contacts. For my birthday this year, I'm trying to find a volunteer opportunity that a group can do like work in a soup kitchen or help sort clothes for the homeless or something and then grab drinks and a bite to eat afterwards. I think anyways. I always attend baby showers, bridal showers, weddings bearing a nice gift and even drag myself out of sweats into fancy clothes to show my loved ones that I care about them. And I help plan birthday parties, contribute to things for the party, help cook/clean up etc. I was talking to FabulousTi the other week and told her how i feel like i'm the super guest at weddings and parties. I have zipped people (including strangers) into their dresses, took bobby pins out of my hair so they can fix theirs and let my hair go to shit, talked people off the ledge/from causing a scene, shoved intoxicated people into cabs wresting keys name it. If someone is having a bad day at work, I'm known to drop a starbucks coffee off on their desk or a giant cookie or a write a silly note to them or draw a funny picture or something just b/c i know they need a little pick me up. Or if they can't escape from their desk, I'll grab their lunch for them or bring them back something from the restaurant.

...why hasn't anyone done that for me...?

I'm not saying NO ONE has EVER done that b/c that would imply that my friends are assholes and they're not. And it would also make me the world's biggest doormat and I'd like to think I'm not.

I just can't figure out what it is. If it's a question of me not being genuine with my acts of kindness, that's certainly not it. I'm not moneybags Sally and nothing I have done has cost all that much but when you do it for some many people for so many different adds up. So dont think I'm doing this b/c i have the money to burn b/c I don't. I try to be diligent and save and spend accordingly. And for me it's not the amount someone spends but the fact that they took time out to think of me.

Wait wait... I do remember 2 months ago a few co-workers that I'm not as close with took me out to happy hour and gave ma $100 visa gift card and a thank you card to go with it. That was nice. Very nice actually and being the sappy sucker that I am, I held it together when they gave me it but tears were streaming down my face when i was driving home--the good kind!!!

I guess I just wished that people I was closer with would do that more or something. Or that other people would do that for each other as well.

I guess I'm not sure what I'm expecting or how this whole Karma thing works out. I feel like I'm in the Karma casino with my voucher ready to cash out but not a single damn register is open! AHH! Where are the cashiers!? Hahah

Welp. I dont know where I was going with this but... I do feel betterish. Now if I could only find a way to make a ton of money doing just this--writing. I miss it so much. ugh.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

You Drive Me Crazy

I guess I'm on a roll about talking about the latest craze, though I guess the election isn't really a craze.

This one is more of my humorous bitchy blogs addressing something I can finally tackle now that the mania has died down.


So appropriate that it's also pronounced as "sigh."

Dear World, I'd like to start my entry with one story.

I was driving Aisha back to the metro from Nigel's birthday. It was around halloween and my office does this like HUGE halloween party with $500 cash prize and what not. I didn't dress up last year but this year I did to show that I'm not a bad sport, even though I could care less about halloween. I went as Ms. PaKman as a play on my last name. Big red bow, lots of red lipstick, giant yellow shirt, fake mole--the whole 9. I was quite the site and even snapped some pics with little kids who wanted their pic done with me. The point of describing all of this is to show how visually stimulating I was.

Know who did NOT care about my costume?

The homeless man on the corner of international drive and 7 in tysons. He didn't bat an eye at my costume. And I mean, this dude was #legit homeless b/c he was holding a cardboard sign that said...HOMELESS.

My window was down b/c i was enjoying a post-dinner cig and then i see the homeless man. I dont have change, I'm exhausted, I'm trying not to blow smoke into my non-smoker friend's face--and frankly, I didn't have money to give him. He came up to my car and says this.

Man: There's no other cars behind you.
Me being polite: Nope. There sure aren't.

I was so sure that he was going to then transition into money begging. I was wrong.

Man: you listen to K-Pop? Do you know it? (he said it so earnestly it was like he was a Mormon asking me if I knew Jesus.)
Me struggling to stay friendly: I do!

WHAT!? You're homeless and im wearing a Ms. Pacman costume and you 1.) Don't ask me for money and 2.) Dont mention my absurd costume and 3.) Your number one concern is if i know who PSY is? Sir, how the FUCK do you!?

Moving along, I'd like to address you, the public with some Sally's Savvy Psy Facts.

1. I do NOT know him. He is NOT my father. Do I go up to you and ask you if you're related to someone who's famous just because they share the same race? NO. Why? B/c im not an ignorant asshole.
-Side story: I was at the mall eating lunch b/w a power/successful shopping trip with my sister and my mom when that video came on the tv displays in the food court. Ever get that feeling you were being watched? Like you can just TELL someone's looking at you? I did. And I saw groups of people grinning at my sister, mom and I as if we were supposed to break out into dance or something. A few people even boldly nodded in a knowing way at me when I stared back. I'm sorry, what? Go away fool. I dont know you. Fuck off.

2. "I dont know what he's saying..." Guess what stupid fuck, unless you know Korean, you're not supposed to. It's a Korean song that he made for his KOREAN audience. I'm not saying you can't like it, I'm saying not everything is in English BECAUSE ITS NOT FUCKING EVERYONES LANGUAGE.

3. You poking me as if I have a translation button will not prompt me to do as such. Instead, you'll most likely be one finger short than when you originally poked me.

4. He's not a one hit wonder. Fact: He's been super famous in Korea for a long fucking time. This one just went viral is all. He's not going to go MC Hammer broke because you dont like the rest of his shit or even his current hit. He didn't need you before, he won't need you after.

5. Open Condom Style has got to be the most over used joke EVER. I'll admit to that I can see (hear?) how it sounds like that but it's not what he's saying and you're not that clever for using it as joke. BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE HAS.

6. Why in balls can't anyone say the "Gang" part of "Gangnam" part right? It's a soft "a" like "Ball" but everyone pronounces it with a hard "A" like the word "Name." I know its not most of your language but if you can hear, then you can hear the difference. If you say that my example "ball" and "name" have the same sounding "A" you're an asshole or you're deaf. Or you're a deaf asshole.

7. He is not the will hung of Korea. See #4.

8. I will fully admit that is one of the most bizarre music videos I've ever seen. But it's not b/c Asian people are weird. Actually...we are but so is EVERYONE. Ever seen the video "Paranoid Android" by Radiohead? That shits weird. Ever seen ANY Marilyn Manson video? That shit's weird. Point is, shit is weird in general. Dont narrow it down to a race.

9. I dont CARE that you don't like the song. Prefacing or ending the sentence with "No offense Sally" is the most ignorant asinine comment ever. I could honestly give a running, jumping, leaping, flying fuck.

10. I'm not a huge Psy fan and actually never heard of it until about the middle of this craze so this isn't a blog sticking up for him so much as it is sticking up for me and my other Korean Americans having to deal with this non-sense.

I'm not super offended--just irritated. I mean sometimes it's funny and all you can do is laugh at people's stupidity and other times, it's time to say whats up.

I went with the latter this time.

Monday, November 5, 2012

God Bless America

So you know by now that I like to title all of my blogs with a song title--and this one counts too. Sure it's not contemporary but hey, it never goes out of style for us Americans!

Anyways, this is one of my preachy blogs [humorous blogs to come soon I promise!] and it's pretty basic.

I get that with election day around the corner tomorrow that everyone has been inundated with political ads from both parties over the past few months. On the radio, on tv, any website you visit, facebook--the list goes on and on. And we're SO fucking sick of it we could barf. I get it.


Here's my thing. I get it. I totally am with you that you can't even open your door anymore without people asking you who you're going to vote for. And you can't log on facebook for mindless entertainment without your bleeding liberal friend or super conservative friend on some sort of self-righteous pretentious rant.


Let me point out a few things.

1.) Even though it doesn't feel like it, we are SO lucky to be able to live in a country where all of this is possible. Where people can voice their opinions--whatever they may be-- without being afraid of the police or whoever snatching them up and killing them for having a belief so while it is overwhelming, consider it a blessing in a completely annoying disguise.

2.) For those of you who say you don't care, shame on you. (Actually, let me put it in Sally terms, FUCK YOU.) You can't seriously say that it doesn't affect you or it doesn't matter to you. It does. You're just too lazy to do any homework to form an opinion and you're letting others dictate your life along with the lives of your family, friends, loved and hated ones. I'm not saying you need to rewatch School House Rock (although that's really not a punishment. It's AMAZEBALLS) and I'm not saying you need to know everything EVER about politics but for fucks sake, pick up a paper or log on to a new website once in a while. There IS an app for that.

3.) Remember to breathe regardless of the outcome. There's no point in fighting with each other because the person you voted for didn't get elected. I'm sure it will feel awful for you and it sucks and I'm pre-emptively sorry if/when it doesn't go your way. And conversely, if your president wins, there's no reason to act like an asshole about it either. The point should be that we are Americans and should support one another. Acting like a sore sport or a douchebag certainly doesn't prove a point or make others change their minds. It's not always easy but whether your candidate wins or loses, we are ALL Americans and should stand behind whomever our president is (unless he pulls some crazy dangerous shit like Hitler style or something.) That's what good Americans do. Make the best of the next 4 years to the best of your ability and maybe in another 4 years, things will be different.

Until then, breathe and be proud to be an American.

Monday, September 10, 2012


Weird! So, I think Ive figured out something that took me longer than it should. I think Im alone... like not like alone in that im by myself right now (I would like to think that that would be something im totally sure of hahah) but alone in that, i like dont have another half. And i dont mean that in a romantical way although thats not totally false either. A manfriend does not a technical relationship make. Almost every single one of my friends has a bff/bestie but I dont!

And im not sure how I feel about it in one word. Im not sad. Im not jealous. Im also not like oh hurray! haha Its just weird to be honest. Ive gone through waves of besties, but no one thats really there or is still actively around. Im kinda puzzled to be honest.

Im slowly trudging my way through fall birthday hell, meaning, theres a shit ton of important bdays last month, this month and through november. Shoot me.

Anyways, I think all of these bdays made me think of how everyones bff is doing something or did something for them. I havent celebrated my bday in like five years....and bdays aside, I dont have pix owith bff and me all over fb and we arent love bombing each others posts etc. Im not invited to the same parties as bff and we dont get sloppy and have crazy nights filled with private jokes. We dont roll our eyes and move as a unit to the parties we dont want to go to but are obligated to go to. And this isnt a diss to my close friends, please, as if. Love the lovely close friends but a bff is usually one person who gets it in a way that others, including spouses and partners may not get.
Im not really in the market for one and frankly its too late bc you cant go back in time. I do sometimes wonder if theres something, a vibe or sometjing im putting out like 'hi my name is sally and we can be friends, and maybe even close friends but i dont need you or anyone as a bff kthanksbye.'

I think the other problem is that i have commitment phobia like a mother fucker. Everyone says that they are and maybe we all are a bit, but ,ine might be to an alarming level. I contracted bc the prospect of being a a perm employee was daunting aka terrifying. Im notoriously seeing someone but without a title. I cant even keep a best friend. Geez...

None,of this i even mean in a self deprecating way. just interesting is all.

 anyways, blogging from my bed was the best worst idea ever. So comfy. So just talking out my ass at this,point.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I'm Sick of Smiling...And So is My Jaw

Yep. That's about it.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Trying to Keep Up with You, But I Don't Know if I Can Do It...


Deep. I know.

Monday, July 16, 2012


Oh, Hi President Obama. Or POTUS if you prefer. For those of you who aren't hip to the term is just another word to add to the acronym/name mashing craze that's been invading society that stands for President of the United States.

FabulosiTi invited me to go with her to the rally at Centreville HS and while I'm not fully in support of either candidate, I think our president is an excellent speaker so i thought that it would definitely be interesting to check out.

We did a bday (hurray!) breakfast for fabulosiTi at Eggspectations (highly recommend) and made our way over to the high school. I was as worried as the next person that traffic and clusterfuck mania would be underway but it was actually extremely organized and therefore, no clusterfucks were had. Getting out of the place is a slightly different story but still, not too bad at all. You'd be surprised how far a smile gets you in life. You dont even have to be attractive and people for the most part WILL respond in a positive way. Unless they suck at life but takes many to make the world go round. Lifesuckers and all.

Waiting in line almost killed me since it was balls hot and while they had cold water for all the people in line (and almost cruely no portapotties...but apparenetly it's b/c the secret service said no to that and frankly, who wants to argue with them? Not me!), they definitely lacked in the entertainment part. Granted there was a nutjob running up and down the line screaming "FIRED UP!" and the correct response is "READY TO GO!" but with it being so hot and so many people in line not rally savvy (myself included) people either gave a half-hearted response or didn't know what to say. I did feel bad for the whackadoo so occassionally when she went by, I did shout back "Ready to Go!"

Until i got distracted by a sexy secret serviceman outside the building. A slightly older guy (mid 30s?) but still, HOT. And that's rare that you'll hear me just say that. Im usually not the kinda gal who will say something racy as such but dammit he was sexy. And the other agent inside was SUPPPPPPPPPPPER sexy also.

Wait, what was this blog about? Hahhaha

Oh yeah, lack of entertainment. I mean, seriously, aside from the Romney supporters protesting (note, please remember that they had every right to--it's their first right actually! Freedom of speech and what not) and nutsack screaming 'fired up!" it was lackluster. Next time, we need a boombox. Maybe some LMFAO or something to get the crowd, for lack of better term, fired up and ready to go.

Once we got inside, it was another 1.5 hours before POTUS was scheduled to speak and let me just say, when the music arrived, i wish it hadn't. It was like this terrible music played by who i hope was NOT the white house dj. Republican party, democratic party, i just like to party but it was evident that this guy didn't otherwise he wouldn't have played such dreadful music. Why not a little Party in the USA per Miley? Fun and relevant! No such luck. I'm going to buy the president an iTunes gift card along with a playlist he should consider. The only decent song was Al Green's lets stay together but cmon people, it's a rally, not a wedding reception.

Things rolled along and people got up there and spoke (after one of the oddest renditions of the Star Spangled Banner I've ever heard which was sung by a woman who sounded like a man doing an impersonation of a whale), and then dat da DAAAAAAAAA! POTUS.

[side note: did you know that the national anthem at a rally is not the same as a national anthem at a sporting event? I learned that you do not shout "OH!" at the "Oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave" part. Eep!]

Obama is a great speaker from what i've seen on TV and now i can say that in person he's just as captivating. Granted, i did differ with him on several issues (healthcare...immigration...) but that aside, he's darn good at giving a speech. And I must say it was quite nice that he didn't shit talk Romney. Very respectable.

He turned to look at my section and my heart sank. POTUS looks stressed out! Or sick! Or like he needs a nap. I really did wish I had some b-vitamins or a banana or something for him but no such luck. And frankly, I'm not sure the secret service would much appreciate it.

While he didn't change my mind about issues at the rally, he did reaffirm my opinion that he does seem like a nice guy who's trying to do the right thing. Or at least what he thinks is the right thing, even if it isn't so to many of us.

Agree with him, dont agree with him--feel how you may but i'll say this, no one person will make EVERYONE or even the vast majority happy. Regardless of who you support, always be respectful.

Monday, June 4, 2012

I Love Rock -N- Roll

I do. I really love me some rock. I saw a few documentaries on hulu over the weekend--one on the Beatles (which was eh, okay), Queen (very good), and Led Zeppelin (also an eh okay documentary). While many of you will argue the "rockness" of The Used (yes, a bit more pop punk/pop rock than like rock rock in my humble opinion), I did go to their concert. They played a great set.

Who didn't play a great set?


It's not that they weren't talented. The fundamental problem with them is that they were CHICK rockers. NO. NO NO NO NONO NO.

I don't know WHY i oppose women in rock but i just do. I think the only one i can say that i like is Janis Joplin. Everyone else....whatever. I dont know what it is about chick rockers that put me on tilt but i am NOT a fan. They ruin everything. Just like olives.

The first band was Stars in Stereo or something and Dr Phil's son is a guitarist in it and whatever. Anyways. They sounded like Paramore and RUINED "closer" by nine inch nails. Not that i even love that song or anything but it was the principle. The singer kept trying to 'sexy' dance and 'play' her gittered guitar (i'm not gonna lie, it was super cute) BUT the bitch didn't even play it! She would 'play' two chords and then start her 'sexy' dance which basically looked like Axl Rose's crab walk dance gone wrong.

And then there was Dead Sara and that girl had a really good voice but the fact that it was a rock thing made me cringe. They also did a cover at the end of their set and they did a cover of Rage Against the Machine, "Killing in the Name of" and i think that's when i lost my shit and started booing and Lauren grabbed my arm and pulled me outside before, as a I quote "We got the shit beat out of us."[Which i highly disagree with given that the crowd was mostly unwashed heavy girls who i could've easily out run.]

In case i haven't made it painfully clear I just dont like women in rock. And most of them who think they're in 'rock' are really just 'edgy' pop singers, lets be completely honest. People tried to sway me by naming female rockers that they thought would make me go 'ohhhhhh ok.' (i.e. Debbie Harry, Joan Jett, Pat Benetar etc) but instead i was like no no no and pop pop pop. NOT ROCK. NOT. ROCK.

Honestly, women should stay within pop, country and R&B. A few of you can be rappers but no fucking way in rock. Not in my world anyways.

Anyways! That's it for me setting women back 500 years. Happy Monday!

Friday, June 1, 2012

Rather Waste My Time With You

I'm not just quoting The Used b/c I went to their concert the other night (i'll def have to put my review up there on that whole thing later.)

I don't know exactly what came over me but I realized the other day that I've been kinda a shitty friend latey but completely unintentionally. And while I realize some of the time it's been to people I don't completely care about all that much anymore, I also realized it IS the people I care about the most too.

I've forgotten birthdays. I've forgotten to go to things I promised I would. I never remember to text back. I've flipped out at one particular friend even though they didn't deserve it. (Though I did apologize and said person was more than forgiving, I still feel like a first class asshole.)

I'd like to blame early on-set dementia for it but that's simply not true. It's just because I'm an asshole who has a hard time remembering stuff now.

This weekend I'm going to dedicate as much time as I can to trying to right my wrongs. Not sure why I felt the need to publicize it and yes, this is again another friend related blog, but i dont know.. felt right. Not to mention it's thunderstorming AGAIN for the 3rd time tonight and i'm TERRIFIED of storms so I've got some time on my hands.

Ok enough of this. I'm going to go get my business done! Sally shall not sucketh at being a friend anymore. I'm going to find ways to show my love to some friends I've been not so great with (again UNINTENTIONALLY) and hopefully all will be well. I'd rather waste my time with them than with some fakies and sucktards that i've come across.

And i think i'm going to start a diff kinda blog that Jones suggested I start (well it's a book actually but i'm going to start off with a blog). Very excited and i'll keep you all posted!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

That's Just the Way It Is

Who fell of the blog every day wagon? This girl right here. OH WELL.

Moving along, friendships have been on my mind today. I didn't wake up thinking about it. More like, I was talking to someone today who's going through a rough patch with 2 of her friends and each of the 2 friends want to have 'a talk' with her. Yikes. Talk about sentences in your life you can do with out--"We need to talk" definitely tops the list. In theory, it's good. It lets people vent and actually say to the person's face what they feel. Good. People at the end of the conversation then feel better in the moment but then when you actually think about it, it's not really that great and it's almost like now there are more boundaries and confusion than when the conversation started. Bad.

But like everything in life, it depends on each situation.

Anyways, it reminded me of a falling out I had with 2 friends of mine and I was the odd girl out. I woke up to a 16 page email about how the girl thought I was a terrible and to quote her "toxic" and "fake" person. Since this was the first thing I got in the morning on little sleep after I had a huge falling out with someone I was interested at the time (who also happened to be my coworker..yayyyyy), it was too much for me to handle and I burst into tears. Looking back, I wish I never wasted one tear on the situation. Luckily by the time I got a 10 page email followup, I didn't cry. I rolled my eyes. I agreed to meet this person for coffee to 'air things out' and I thought we came to an understanding after the conversation. We didn't. The other girl in the situation happened to be sisters with the girl who sent said emails and we also had 'a talk.' I'll spare you the drama, we're not friends anymore. And I couldn't be happier. And not even in that bitchy "look at me now bitches" way but in a, it really wasn't meant to be sort of way. [and side note: the coworker i had a falling out with? closer than ever now vs the two girls i swore were like extra sisters. I used to use the sisters phrase generously with close friends but now i really only mean it about one. She knows who she is. And if she doesn''s YOU ASHLEY.]

It's weird because people always told me that your friend list will dwindle the older you get. I laughed b/c I was like uhh hello, i'm not Sally Socialite b/c i don't have the social skills to make and keep a relationship. My reputation is built on knowing lots of people and being nice/genuine to them.

But dammit all, these "people" ended up being right. I'm barely living up to my socialite name. I still chat with people old and new with ease but I'm MUUUUUUUUUUUUCH more choosy about doing it.

My one year at work is coming up tomorrow and instead of thinking about my achievements ::brushes shoulder's off:: I'm thinking about a girl I previously blogged about ( who I was supposed to meet up with and never did. Maybe I should've given that friendship more of a chance? I dont know. Now she's passed away and while it doesn't often bother me, it is lately. I know somethings wrong b/c anyone who knows me (or reads this blog) knows that I'm not one who's shy with talking things on loop or crying but I can't do it with this sitch. I'm not in denial...and yet I can't seem to come to terms that she passed away.

It's all like really weird. There's another friend I was super close with in college and even stayed with me over the summer last year and I really haven't her from her since. In fairness, I haven't reached out to her either. I'm actually annoyed by it all but haven't done anything about it either so how annoyed can I really be?

Then there are some more "A list" friends that I know are there because they were SOOOOOO good to me before but now I'm like why are they in my "A list"? Again, not meaning that in a bitchy way. Both people and situations with each person are so differnt but it seems my..'issue' for lack of better word is the same. They seem really self involved and have this new found 'self empowerment' which I normally am very supportive of and gravitate towards but something's not right. And do i say anyhting? Nope. Partly because I know I'm not perfect and partly because as I said earlier, 'having talks' sometimes just makes things worse but mostly because, I'm not sure I care if it does. Sounds callous but that's just the way it is. I dont see why I should have to make them realize they need to think about how they're coming off to me or the quality of their friendship, when I have quality friends who I may not talk to or see as often but show me it time and time again. One year is going through a rough patch with a friend but 3 years of questioning my friendships with them? A bit much. I can't be fake so I've steadily ignored and avoided calls and calling them because what's there to say? Still, as much as I hate to admit it, i do have love for said people so I guess I'll continue to play it by ear...

Let's end on a bright note, to those friends I dont reach out to enough or see as often as I should but have remained true, even if we're not very close, I feel really lucky to have you in my life and sorry to all for being that emolicious blog we all make fun of.

And normally I have a poignant and thoughtful quote or song to close it all out with but all i can think about is that damn Tupac song that i dont even like and he's not even rapping/singing the lyric but, here it is:
That's just the way it is//things will never be the same//that's just way it is...oh yeah.

Monday, March 19, 2012

That Funky Monkey

Actually, not so much a funky monkey as a dirty cunt monkey.

The old bitch (yes, of the GLUE IN YOUR SHOES WILL KILL EVERYONE) has officially downgraded herself in the Sally Pak burn book as dirty cunt monkey and will henceforth be known as DCM.

My iPod, Pingu, is currently in a coma and while I have the best doctors looking out for him (ok...2 coworkers and a former coworker), I'm forced to brave the gym sans iPod. Not as boring as I thought it would be since I stationed myself in front of a tv news screen and caught up with the world while an eldery man on the machine next to me sighed noisily every ten minutes or so followed by a headshake. I like to call him Mr. Ed given the horselike manner in which he excuted his sighs and headshakes.

Anyways, post work out, I hit the dry sauna per usual and felt naked without Pingu accompanying me. I hate being in public without my phone or iPod b/c it seems to give people the indication that I would love to speak with them about shoes and ships and ceiling wax, cabbages and kings... and basically other crazy/annoying shit. Or treat me as a personal clock, GPS or tour guide.

Whatever, anyways I thought i was in the clear with DCM until i saw her ugly melted candle of a face make an appearance. FUCCCCCKKKKKKKKK MY LIFE. I desperately looked around for other Koreans she could speak to but only 2 people in there was 1.) a Filipino girl with an iPod (lucky bitch) and a towel on her face and 2.) an elderly Jewish man (he was rockin' a star of David) I like to call Horton, and has so much hair in his ear i don't think Horton heard a Whoo or anything else.

She doesn't say anything at first but I'm no fool so i turned my back to her and stretched and closed my eyes.

Yeah no such luck.

(all in Korean)
DCM: Miss? YOUNG Miss?
Me: *tersley* What.
DCM: You have some ugly skin on your ugly legs. What is that?
Me: I have "psoriasis"(that word was in english. fucked if i know how to say it in korean) *struggling to keep my voice neutral*
DCM: Just on the legs?
Me: Yep.
DCM: It's b/c you wear shoes in the sauna.

I snap around so suddenly that even Horton heard through his scrub brush ears and looked nervous.

Me: Please stop talking. I dont want to talk to an old crazy lady like you.
DCM: You wear SHOES in the SAUNA. That's why you have UGLY SKIN ON UGLY LEGS.

Horton's looking pretttty perplexed and keeps playing with his star of David, but doesn't seem to look away.

I actually didn't say anything for once in my life. I sighed much like Mr. Ed.

DCM: Hello? (she flips to english) You wear shoes in sauna. That's why you have UGLY SKIN. BECAUSE. YOU WEAR THE SHOES IN THE SAUNA.

I grip the towel that I'm sitting on and Horton looks like he's about to shit a brick.

Filipina decided to exit, but i'm not sure that was conversation related.


Horton's not a Korean-Jewish man so he has no idea what i said but he knows it wasn't nice. Horton may not hear a whoo but he's not a dumbass.

Horton finally stops looking terrified and actually looks at me sympathetically b/c he can see at this point I 1.) dont want to be spoken to 2.) obviously dont ENJOY having psoriasis or 'ugly legs' 3.) Just want this DCM to just leave me alone for fucks sake

He smiles kindly as he sees tears in my eyes and mutters for me to ignore her.

I smile back at him and blink back my tears. WTF, Sally Pak is a lot of things but a punk ass bitch being pushed around my Lumiere's great grandmother is NOT one of them.

I murmur back to him in a somewhat low tone that if she doesn't lay off I will smack her back to Sudan. Horton is confused and says he thought DCM and i were korean. I assured him that yes, we are but i was ready to hit her so hard that she would fly past the motherland and make another lap around and end up in a war ridden country where they hate women anyways. A transcontinental bitch slap if you will.

[well i said all of that minus the last sentence. too bad. it's fucking brill.]

I'm not sure if Horton knew if i was kidding or not (neither did i frankly) and calmly said that i didn't wanna do that or at least i shouldn't and to just ignore her. Don't be as immature as she is. Feel sorry for her. Pray for her! then leaves.

DCM is feeling QUITE left out at this point and interrupts with HMMMMMMM? You're speaking but i can't hear you.

I pick up my towel and without looking at her walk off. Middle finger in the air (sorry horton--it's not that i'm immature. it's that i'm one pissed bitch).


Sunday, February 26, 2012

Na-na- na-na-na-na-knees, knees

I wonder how many of you counted the number of "na-na"s in my title to see if it matched the number that Axel Rose belted out in "Welcome to the Jungle." hahahha

Moving along, the pain in my right knee is AWFUL. I think I might go out and get crutches today but that seems all kinds of ironic in itself. I'm not supposed to move around and unfortunately I need to in order to get said crutches...

Needless to say this weekend has been a BLAST (I mean this with very heavy sarcasm). I didn't do a single thing. I went to the gym yesterday and that was pretty much the only time I left my house. I probably wouldn't even have done that if I didn't need cigarettes. Oh, hi again irony. I know I get it.

Initially I had plans to get coffee with Garth, walk with Linds and then out to the bar with Bex but due to 1.) Having a terrible fucking period (you're welcome male readers) 2.) Linds out car shopping (EEEK!!!! Very exciting...!!) and 3.) I'm ready to gnaw off my right knee, I think its a good thing that none of those things happened.

I webMD'ed myself which I don't usually do and it basically says to put ice on it, don't work out and quit being a fucking baby. No need for a doctor unless something breaks pretty much. Awesome.

I should probably take this time of being an injured bird to get myself organized. I'm beyond a hot mess. My room is a train wreck, I keep fucking forgetting about previous engagements and either missing them or getting flustered. I need to nip that in the bud.

I'm sooooooooooooooooooooo supppppppppppperrrrrrrrr bummmmmmmmmmmmmmed about Janel's wedding and missing all of her wedding related things!!!! I sent a nice gift in lieu of my presence for her bridal shower but it's not the same! I'm trying to think of something nice to do for her including a trip up to see her. I'd like to drive but not alone but don't have anyone to join me [any takers?] I get lost a little too easily, get nervous on a high way and need someone not annoying to take along. Or, I could fly there but I don't know how close her new place is to the airport and it seems counter productive to go there and then be a burden to her and hubbie to be. I need to mull this over some more.

WAH. Unmotivated. I dont even wanna get up and brush my teeth right now.

PS Sigh again, so much for blogging more regularly. The other thing i was supposed to do was travel EVERYwhere with my dig camera so I could upload pix to my blog b/c as people never tire of saying "Pics or it didn't happen!"

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Here in this Diary

Ok EPIC FAIL. I'm not capable of blogging EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I just can't do it. I don't always have access to my computer (i.e. i'm not at home 24/7) and blogging via phone is going to take forever and you all know how much I like to talk.

Besides, any of you who read Bridget Jones' Diary know that bitch didn't write in her diary every day either!

Wha-ha-happened these past few days. I don't even remember... I did see the biatch in the dry sauna again. You know "OB." I may have left our battleground triumphantly but let's face it, it was mostly a front. I was ready to battle her out again but as I tip toed to the sauna and peered in I knew I wasn't as badass as I led on. Badasses dont tip toe in. They walk in there like oh hi i run this bitch. WHAT.

I peeked in and didn't see her so I felt my shoulders relax. As I got closer I realized it WAS her. I'm just not in the mood to fight so I [not so] bravely closed my eyes and sat against a wall far from her. Or at least I'd like to think it was far. She was lying in the middle so... Anyways, she didn't see me and I pretended not to see her aka kept my eyes closed. Unfortunately all I wanted to do was stretch out (um hi, have you been on an eliptical set to a resistance of 20 for 45 minutes? Ouch. Well not so much as ouch as it is wanting to stretch it on out. But I would need to open my eyes for that and it just wasn't happening. I opened one eye warily and saw OB standing and staring STRAIGHT. AT. ME. She wanted to say something but I quickly closed that eye. Fail for both of us. She didn't get to talk and I was being passive aggressive.

She walked out and I stretched freely and now that my eyes were open, the sauna was filled with people wearing "SHOES WITH GLUE THAT IS GOING TO KILL EVERYONE." What now biatch? I laughed to myself particuarly when OB returned and saw all of us in there with our death shoes on. She started to say something to me but this time I was less polite, kept my headphones on and walked out. See biatch!

Side note but totes relevant (aside from the fact that i hate that i openly use the word 'totes') It's Mardi Gras today and myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy how things have changed. Here I am freshly showered blogging at 10pm about a fight with a 90 year old when just a few years ago, I'd be on my way to a bar that was doing something kitchy for Mardi Gras (ie when I celebrated Bacardi Gras circa 2007).


Saturday, February 18, 2012

And All That Jazz

Seriously? I missed blogging yesterday. I wasn't home at all except to change and go back out and eventually sleep. That totally puts a damper on blogging everyday for a year. I think I shoud get immunity b/c I wasnt home and sure I could've done it at work but it was AT WORK.. you know WORKING.


That said, I am balls tired. I can't stop saying the word balls. I dont know why! Everything is balls cold or oh balls. I know I pointed out that its my new fav saying but STILL. I'm balls tired b/c a friend of mine had to put her dog down to sleep minutes ago and I just got off the phone with her to make sure she was doing okay. And she is. Whew!

Change of topic, Happy 7th anniversary to the DC Girly Show! They put on a great production of Chicago last night at Phase. All the ladies and members of the DC Kings did an AWESOME job.

Zach Morris TIME OUT style: I have to braggy brag here for a second--my NoN-Best Friend, Private Tails (stage name obv) is TOTES the best performer of the bunch and she is amazing!!! Super pretty [i know, irrelevant but still, snaps to her genetics!) and has such stage presence! Best dancer, highest kicks, best splits, most energy--She's amazeballs (OMG BALLS AGAIN!) and if you haven't seen her yet or if you're not in this area, you have to go to a show/look her stuff up. FAB!

Ok, I'm going back to bed. Nothing funny or quirky to say but just wanted to blog to keep things up.

And for the record, to the losers who told me we were getting snowed out tomorrow, F. U.

It's PM showers and we'll be back up to 60 degrees by Weds...

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Keeps Getting Better

I woke up this morning like a bitch. Bitch meaning a scary mean for no reason girl. I was ready to slice people with my cutting remarks. I barely looked up from my screen at work let alone uttered any words. I was pretty sure today was gonna suck.

It didn't!

I think it's helpful that the people on my floor are actually really nice so even if I wanted to be mean and nasty, I just couldn't.

I think the FML moment of the day was so horrifying, it just made me laugh. Turn about ten shades of red and laugh. Sometimes, it's like there's nothing else you can do. I was emailing my coworkers a forward from a pervy coworker. Long story short, this is the guy who 'accidentally' forgot I was Asian right after he announced that he's never had an Asian girl and has always wanted to bang one out. Classy.

Anyways, he had forwarded me an email from his consultant who is in love with him. It was pretty funny. Not so funny? She's ruining my life b/c she doesn't know how to do something pretty basic and it's beyond frustrating. So he forwards an email to my boss and me letting us know that his person is having some trouble. I wrote back to him saying that I hate his girlfriend and I would appreciate that in the future, he chose SMARTER girls. He wrote back saying that he's not gonna lie--he loves dumb girls! I snorted and forwarded his email to two girls that were in my department (the others were away from their desk) and the girl who sits by said person. We'll call him Ernie. My mean email with the forward below said "Yeah b/c that's the only girl that would go for him. [i.e. dumb] Just saying!" one girl snorted and giggled, another wrote to me expressing her agreement and the OTHER girl put my shit on blast b/c she wrote back to me and CC'ed ERNIE!!!! HE SAW MY MEAN EMAIL. Then writes to me saying that he appreciates my kind words.

Holy fuck. HOLY BALLS. HOLY. BALLS. I was horribly embarrassed.

I guess there's something to be said about don't say behind someone's back what you wouldn't say to their face.

You think that would've made my day worse but at that point I did the only thing you can do. Laugh. Heartily and really hard.

And then the rest of my day did fall into place.

I learned the following:

Meatloaf will do the following for love:
Meatloaf will NOT do the following for love:

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Dust Yourself Off and Try Again

Fail. One of my new year's resolution was almost like a challenge to myself which is to blog literally every single day. Not always too in depth but throw something up every single day.

Given that it's halfway through Feb and I only have one post, which I didnt write, I think it's safe to say it's a total fail. But you know, at the same time, who said the year had to start with Jan 1? So what if the calendar year starts with Jan 1, doesnt mean that I have to also.

I know, Sally, you rebel you.

So here I am, dusting myself off and trying again.

Today was amusing. I realized halfway during the day that I was NOT capable of shutting the fuck up. My coworkers kindly humored me but I'm sure they were like SHUT THE FUCK UP SALLY. Even if they didn't say it to my face.

Oh Balls (which btw is totes my new fav saying). And here I go on another tangent of nothingness.

One of my coworkers said to me "Sally H. Pak." (Yes, dear readers, I did just reveal my last name. Come after me and I will have the police on you SOQUICK.)

To which I responded "How did you know that was my middlename?!" Then shortly thereafter said "No..not really. I don't have a middle name."

Said coworker pondered this for a moment and then said "That's right, it's b/c you're Asian."

WHAT!? I really do wonder sometimes...

I don't hold it against him. I learned at the gym today that my own peope are quite ignorant as well. The following below is a rough transcript of my interaction. And OB = the old bitch I was talking to.

OB *taps me on the shoulder* : EXCUSE ME.
Me *sighs noisly and takes headphones off*: Yes?
OB: You can't wear shoes in the dry sauna.
Me: Yes I can and there's nothing that says I cant.
Me: *narrows my eyes at her in annoyance* I dont generally keep glue in my shoes and what about your flip flops?
OB: What country you from?
Me: I'm from...
OB: You half Chinese half white?
Me: No, I'm
Me: I'm Korean.
OB: ME TOO. *switches to speaking in korean* You dont look Korean.
Me: *also switches to Korean* Yep. I am.
OB: But your LEGS are muscular. Very sturdy.
Me: Yep. I work out.
OB: Korean people have VERY skinny legs. Your legs are STRONG. NOT FAT. STRONG.
Me: Well. I'm still korean...
(mind you i'm speaking to her in korean this whole convo is in korean...)
OB: But Korean legs are like toothpicks. See? I'm over 60 and my legs are SKINNY. B/c i am KOREAN.
Me: *overly sweetly* Youre right. Your legs are skinny like Korean people. But you're also fat. Most Koreans aren't. Maybe YOU'RE not korean BECAUSE YOURE FAT.
*me momentarily picturing my parents chasing me around screaming SHAME, Sally. SHAME. Then I realize, you know what? I'm damn near 30*
Me: I talk however I want to and yes, my parents do go here. They're Korean and NOT FAT.

Stony silence. Both of us are STUBBORN bitches at this point so neither of us want to be the first to leave the sauna. She's about 100 years old and I know she's about give out first. I may be a smoker but I work out like a champ and KNOW I can outlast here. And if home girl thinks for one second she's going to intimidate me out of here, she MUST be confused. I will stay here until i resemble dehyrdrated space food or until I pass out or DIE.

2 minutes later she leaves.


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Last Friday Night

Actually it wasn't a friday so much as it was a Saturday night.

This blog isn't from me but rather a former coworker i've kept in touch with whom i adore! I normally save my blog for Sally stuff but this was so damn well written and hilarious, it couldn't help but post it. You dont have to know Aaron to get it but quick backstory, Aaron, Kacey (another former coworker/current friend haha) and I used to have urban Thursdays so you bring to the table all things urban that occured.

Here's what he sent us:

"Well wuzdamuhfuckindeal youbama's---

I want to walk you through my Saturday evening in hopes to make you laugh:

It starts around 5pm on Saturday evening. I get a phone call from my
buddy, Chris Long. You have to google him real quickly for the story
if you don't know who he is. He is about a 6'4" 270lb white honkey
that plays in the NFL and doesn't really see color/race/creed. He
tells me he is in town and it is our friends, Jameel Sewell (also look
him up-- the complete opposite), birthday. He tells me that he flew in
for the party and that I need to meet him at his hotel room in DC ASAP
and that we are going to a black tie gala for the "grown and sexy".

I show up to the hotel dressed to impress although I really have no
idea what I am getting myself into. I show up to his hotel room and
there is a hotel room full of black people with wardrobes completely
dressed in black with the following: huge designer belt buckles,
sunglasses, huge earrings, necklaces, etc. The whole nine.

We start taking shots of Hennessey and Jack while watching football
and listening to Common and Drake's feud.

Then it's off to the DC convention center. The birthday boy tells me
that this is the biggest party in DC. When we show up The line is
wrapped around the whole convention center and it is all middle-aged
African Americans dressed in their Sunday's Best dancing, being loud,
laughing for no reason, repeating what everyone says and clapping and
sneaking personal flask shots and Sutter Home bottle swings-- and this
was just in the line waiting to get checked in.

Of course my group didn't have to wait in line because we had VIP
tickets. All 8 of us were by far the youngest ones there. As Chris and
I are looking around we do not see ONE other white person (besides for
Chris, at this event I am considered a light skinned black guy and all
the heavy women are hitting on me hard, cause apparently thats what I
attrack in the black community. No Meghan Fox's or Gabrielle Unions of
the world, just the Precious's and Monique's).

We get up to security line where they have to wand your whole body for
weapons. The strange thing, at least I thought, was that everyone's
belt buckle would activate the wand and the security officer's would
NOT actually pat down the waists, where I would assume most of the
guns would be.

We get in and MY BOI Raheem DeVaughn is performing. All of the Grown
and Sexy single ladies are taking pictures, shaking their booty, and
throwing their underwear on the stage:

Line of the night from Raheem: "Damn, for all of those women throwing
their draws up here, I respect you. Going commando in 20 degree heat
shows the dedication to fucking me later"

The whole party was rocking and it seems that no one was really
drinking. There were six bars for 5,000 people and the line had to be
100 people deep. People were just partying and having a good time
sober! It was ridiculous to see that many people truly enjoying
themselves without imbibing on god's sweet nectar.

Low point in the night: I looked really good. Usually, this would come
as a precursor to a high point of the night (sex) but not in this


I just sit down at our table and just checking out the scene/ texting
people how ridiculous this party is.

40+ yr old Guy (in a fast jive-y kind of talk): Yo man, tonight is all
about play son, put down your phone and save work for tomorrow (gives
me a black handshake which will now be called a "dap")

Me: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. I know whatchu mean son. I was just checkin in on someone.

40yr old Guy: You wanna hear something funny?

Me: (Didn't have time to respond)

40: I told mah pahtnah that I was going to be a vegetarian or some
shit in 2012--
Me: puzzled and not really listening)
40: But, I mean what the fuck, I can't be a vegetarian when there is
all this meat around (daps me like five times and leaves)

Me-- completely not really registering what is going on and go back to
my text. I replay what just happened and then I look to my right and
this guy is kissing on another man while pointing to me and smiling.

I quickly run to my group and hide from this guy the rest of the night.

Now, this may seem like an urban night already, however the best part
about the evening was the photography station. Right when you walk in
they have the typical red carpet where you can get your "grown and
sexy" picture with the liquor advertisement backdrop.

However, in the back corner of the convention center they had 3
different water painted backdrops that you could pose in front of.

The three consisted of:
1. a white gazeebo in front of a flowing waterfall during a sunset
2. a piano room with an empty bench where you could pose to be sitting
on with candles lit all around it
4. a forest theme

Groups of people/ couples/ and single people were lined up to take
pictures all night. We took the picture in the piano room.

The music was so loud that Chris and I decided to leave and meet up
with our other UVA friends. We get into the cab to go to some other
bar and Chris turns to me and says:

"hey did you hear that couple when we left? They said "well, there
goes the only two (white guys)"

I was DEVASTATED! My whole entire night went down the drain and I
still have not fully recovered..."