Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Pumpkinella -- Wild Thing of the Pumpkin Patch

Pumpkinella was the Wild Thing of the Pumpkin Patch.  

Nights, she'd string together a boa of leaves, wrap it around her neck a few times, and take off for an evening of drinking, dancing, and driving the farm cart fast.

Her name was legendary among pumpkin patches near and far,
 and many a pumpkin in distant lands longed to spend just one night
with the vivacious hard-living Pumpkinella.

Then, one fine fall day, a car pulled up beside the pumpkin patch, disgorging what appeared to be an army of small children.  
Each had a quest: 
to choose the perfect pumpkin to carve for Halloween.

And what could be more perfect...
than Pumpkinella?
She was chosen quickly, unceremoniously
dumped in a wagon, and hauled to the
checkout where here measurements
were taken and she was sold for a handful
of coins.

The other pumpkins wept.

That night Pumpkinella underwent a ritual endured
by so many of her sisters before her.
Her brains were scooped out, dumped on baking sheet,
and toasted.

Lips that were once the finest in Pumpkin History 
were re-carved into a crooked grin.
Her eyes, once long-lashed and outlined
in vegan organic eyeliner
were now defined by the blade of a pumpkin carving set.

A candle was placed where her brain once resided.
Pumpkinella was Pumpkinella no more, merely a front
porch jacqueline o' lantern.

But when the festivals were over, and Pumpkinella
was tossed in the compost heap, a few seeds who
has been missed in the mass scooping trickled out...
to make new Pumpkinellas who would dance and drink and sing once again.

Pumpkinella can be found on etsy.


  1. What an adorable story...with a happy ending. I love happy endings...and Pumpkinella is just adorable! Thanks!

  2. Poor, poor Pumkinella! She gave her all for Halloween. How bitter sweet, the ritual. How magical, the seed's return to party girl! Woo hooo! I love the night life! I gots ta boogie!