Mine (31F) and my husband (33M)'s houseguest (33M) talks incessantly and is driving me insane

relationships Original
HollowsOfYourHeart 1881 G 2018-06-20 02:12:18

My husband Will has a friend named Gary who arrived on Sunday night from SC to stay with us for the week. He's Will's buddy from college and they haven't seen each other in years but used to be close. This is the first time I've met Gary. Three days into his visit and I'm struggling, guys. Gary talks almost non-stop!

He literally talked (mostly about himself) throughout the entire dinner we had last night. He kept talking after dinner. He kept talking until we went to bed. He has an opinion about EVERYTHING. Will and I barely got any words in or got talked over. My husband could tell I was about to lose my cool by the time I excused myself for bed.

Will apologized when he came to bed and says he remembered that Gary talked a lot but did not know he was going to do it incessantly and rudely. We decided we would put more effort into speaking up/interjecting.

Tonight, the three of us went out to try a new restaurant and it didn't go well. Gary kept trying to monopolize the conversation and would talk over me. I said, "EXCUSE ME, please allow me to finish," and he laughed and apologized because he, "knows he talks to much," and then KEPT TALKING. My husband then interjected and said, "Gary, I would like to hear what Bri has to say." So Gary apologized again and let me talk. When I finished, he nodded and then started continuing with whatever he was saying without acknowledging my point.

I was done being polite at this point. I was mad and highly irritated. I had already had a couple drinks and thought, "fuck. This. Noise."

Our food arrives. Gary just sits there in front of his plate talking and talking. So I pushed my salad aside and grabbed his plate of untouched steak. And I started eating it. He stopped talking, looked stunned, and said, "Bri, what are you doing?" I ignored him and kept eating his steak. He looks kind of pissed and says, "please stop eating my steak!" I ignored him and ignored Will's death stare and kept eating Gary's steak. I ate the whole thing. They watched me and Gary didn't speak a word the whole time and I got to eat in glorious silence. Then I apologized to Gary and said some shit about how I know I eat too much and should have let him finish his steak. Gary tried to like...laugh it off? He didn't talk on the ride home....

So...yeah. My husband is beyond pissed at me and has asked me to apologize to Gary. I've agreed to apologize because what I did was NOT the right way to handle the situation. My question is...how do I handle this for the remainder of the week? Should I just stay away from him? Or is that being more rude on top of my super rudeness?

TL;DR My husband's college friend is staying with us for a week and he talks incessantly and I have reacted poorly and insanely. What do I do for the remaining week?

beachbum34 6m

Omg! I actually don't have any advice to offer but I am cracking up at the steak thing!! That is legit funny as hell.

Copious-GTea 42m

Holy shit talk about a power move.

humboldt77 1h10m

Assert Dominance master class.

AgentKittyfeets 3h23m

Seriously, considering talking to him didn't work, he clearly didn't listen, maybe actions spoke louder than words to him!

Boss ass move.

Mico4 1h4m

She seemed to handle that well. OP, can i ask your advice on how to deal with the incessant talking of my house guest please? She is 4, incredibly adorable and my daughter.

RollyPanda 1h55m

Don't eat her food that will just make her cry constantly. 😂

golfingrrl 2h25m

I’m sure she’d let the broccoli get eaten. Just don’t eat the candy unless you want to see tears.

bubbleuj 3h6m

That's when you pull the "I'll eat your broccoli but I'll also eat your candy later " move.

Or more realistically, one bite of candy, one broccoli shit.

WinterOfFire 3h12m

I got my son to eat a whole serving of a dish he hated by trying to take a bite and letting him ‘steal’ it and acting outraged.

bubbleuj 3h25m

My aunt used to that! She'd tell me facts about the many animals coming to steal my food.

Mico4 3h34m

Broccoli is probably the only non white food she will actually eat funnily enough.

Mico4 3h34m

She is a picky eater. I'd just be doing her a favor tbh.

bri0che 2h14m

Right?! This is how you establish dominance on Day 1 in prison!

Basboy 1h18m

No advice here either, but I found that hilarious as well.

6captain6brady6 2h35m

Yeah congrats to OP. You should be proud of that moment. I don't know how your husband didn't laugh his ass off.

sabo2205 2h28m

She just shows her dominant. This is stronger than pee on him.

SpongebobAnalBum 3h52m

Holy shit. Can this be a new thing? 'how do I get across that this behaviour is not okay and discuss this with them?' answer eat their god damn steak!

Steffinily 4h2m

It's so fucking petty and I can't stop laughing. She's fucking brave

kyleandliz 3h6m

Ask for the stake to be medium rare next time

eyeoutthere 2h51m

You may not believe this, but this is a story that didn't actually happen.

TsukasaHimura 2h53m

"You got beef?"

That sure taught him a lesson. You should keep doing it and then apologize half heartedly afterward. (I would too if I were you!)

Buffmama 1h25m

I'm wondering how on the earth you managing to eat the whole thing without them just.... taking it back, you got a snakes jaw or something?

nickymonkey 2h33m

Asking the real question, if you go for one of my fries I'm like a god damn bear protecting my cubs

Samazonison 4h17m

Joey doesn't share food!

ronearc 3h3m

When someone has a steak, a knife, and zero fucks left, you let them eat and sort it out later.

kraster6 3h23m

And a steak knife is not like a butter knife

zamwut 2h33m

Most grown men are smart enough to know not to try and take food away from a lady.

CellularPeptideCake 2h45m

I think it’s fair to say the story is exaggerated

sit_ur_ass_down 3h12m
Kingmudsy 3h49m

Eh. I don't think this one is entirely true, even if it's based on a truth. I don't think you can activate that trap card on this one.

upsidedownpositive 1h11m

This is how I see it .... when someone is completely ignorant of social norms and social cues, it makes us “normal-cue-individuals” uncomfortable. So our “normal” social cues to get them back on track doesn’t even REGISTER on THEIR radar. So, in order to get something to register on THEIR radar, we must step out of our comfort zone to make the point since they do not “hear” our social cues. Capiche? So what I am getting at is that your response of eating his steak was what was needed outside of the “normal” social cues to make him register that there was an issue. It’s a wordy description to basically say you were speaking his language to get him to “hear” you. Rude or not rude is almost beside the point. The dude must be shown he self-absorbed behavior and you carried the flag. Well done!!!

jellobellofellow 3h33m

I wonder though if he connected the dots. He may be confused and thinking she is the rude one without even thinking why she did it or if she was even trying to prove a point.

I think OPs husband should have a heart to heart with his friend. After all what are friends for.

Samazonison 4h18m


100% this.

suhurley 2h45m

This makes so much sense!

GingerTeaVirgo 1h55m

You explained this really eloquently! I think what she did was much-needed.

elmer_the_arse 2h58m

it’s not ignorance. it’s total obliviousness. I’m like that. At this point I’m well aware of how bad and annoying it can be but it’s not something I can control when stressed or excited. In those cases it is best either not to attend a function or make an effort to stay quiet and out of the loop. There is no middle ground. At best throw in some well prepared one liners that flatter the company to appear integrated.

the_shiny_guru 3h35m

When someone interrupts you and says "please let me talk" and then you keep going on about your topic, ignoring them, that's not obliviousness, that's willful ignorance... honestly I am not even sure that it's ignorance at all, but just pure selfishness that you can ignore someone asking you to please, let them talk and then keep on going, completely uncaring as to what they have to say.

I think what you're talking about is slightly different, because what happens in the OP is he gets directly told and constantly interrupted, and instead continues with his behavior.

howaboutnothanksdude 3h11m

I’m like this as well, I tend to go off on tangents. I give a word to my friends/family members that they can use to quietly inform me I might be a bit much, if they say “quaffle” (yes like harry potter), I back down. It’s helpful, especially at things like dinner or meeting people I don’t know, because I tend to talk and word vomit when I’m nervous. A whispered “quaffle” tells me to bring it back a bit.

Achleys 3h52m


If someone says “please stop talking and let me talk” and you don’t stop talking to let them talk you are only being selfish. Period. That’s it. Done.

Your desire to CONTINUE TALKING despite the person you are talking TO telling you that they have NO INTEREST IN HEARING YOU FUCKING TALK ANYMORE is only selfishness. There is no other way to describe this and you are doing yourself a huge disservice by acting like not talking is 100% outside of your control.

Just shut your mouth. Shut it.

DarkestofFlames 4h19m

And OP stated that Gary even acknowledged that he talks too much, so on his part it's not obliviousness. He's just rude and needed to be put in his place.

howaboutnothanksdude 3h59m

Maybe in Garys case, but in my case it is just that: nervousness. I’ve never had anyone outright ask me to stop talking, and I have autism so I have trouble understanding social cues that they might not be engaged. I find a word to let me know helps.

Achleys 4h4m

Okay, that’s absolutely a fair point. Autism or other conditions which impact your ability to read social cues is a perfectly legitimate reason for talking too much and not recognizing when others are annoyed by it. However, if someone asked you to “please let me finish” talking, could you? Because that’s a pretty direct request that (from my non-autistic perspective) doesn’t seem require interpretation of any kind. I

There was no indication from OP’s post that Gary has autism. AND he’s self-aware enough to have laughed at one point about how he “talks too much.” Yet, continued. Your situation and his - from OP’s perspective - don’t seem similar.

trebuchetfunfacts 3h23m

Eating someone’s steak is a lot worse than talking someone’s ear off. One is annoying and just bad social cues, the other is just plain rude as hell. I don’t agree with what she did tbh as I’m super protective about my food. That being said, it probably will work to get him to leave her alone, so she did what she had to do lol

Seabret 12m

I have no advice but you are my goddamn hero.

ramborocks 2h25m

Kids don't try this at home...

garyjohnsonsbong 3h11m

I say she handled the situation just fine.

littleorangemonkeys 50m

This is so something I would do...get fed up, do something rude and immature in the heat of the moment, and then regret it and want to have a real adult conversation.

If it were me, I'd get Gary alone and just straight up apologize for your own behavior. "Look, Gary, I wanted to apologize for what happened at dinner last night. Yes, I was frustrated, but the way I handled my frustration was rude and extreme and I'm sorry for the way I acted." If he seems subdued and accepts your apology and gives you one in return, this is an open door for a conversation about his talking.

"I was very frustrated when you did X thing because it made me feel Y. If you had done Z, that would have gone a long way to helping me feel W." You can address the most important point; if it's the fact that he wouldn't shut up until your husband said something, go with that. If it's the fact that you could tell that he wasn't really listening to you when you talked because he just started back up where he paused in his lecture, then address that. Pick one thing to express, and let the rest slide; Gary has spent his entire life being like this, you are not going to change him in one week. You can, however, let him know how his behavior directly effected you, and that your frustration lead you to do something extreme that you regret.

The best outcome here is that he accepts your apology, offers one of his own, and leaves your house with a seed of introspection about how his behavior can really piss other people off. He's not going to stop talking too much after a lifetime of holding court.

mizzmacy 2h3m

I agree with you. Hopefully, Gary doesn’t interrupt while she’s trying to apologize.

pagirl 2h16m

He probably will interrupt her in between her saying “I’m sorry” and “but you always talk over me and I never feel heard”. He will be nauseating superior about being interrupted and continue on with his rudeness. I am a slow, quiet talker. I know the feeling of not being heard.

thisisgoing2far 3h23m

I also think this is the most realistic outcome, unfortunately. The mature thing to do would be to apologize to him in the hopes that he isn’t an asshole, just bad at social cues. But if his behavior is a result of him being an asshole, you’re basically back to square one. At least now, he’s less likely to talk constantly around you.

But OP’s relationship with her husband is the important thing here, so it depends on his personality and how mad he is.

EmergencyShit 4h16m

This is wonderful step-by-step advice!

hopingtothrive 8m

That was one heck of a rude thing to do -- eat his steak. I'm not sure he understood why, though. He seems dense. I guess you owe him an apology and explanation. What you did was incredibly rude but so freaking well-done.

I hope it was a tasty steak!

Purl_Jam 38m

There are times when I encourage an OP to be the best person they can be and there are times when I want the OP to join us at the bad kid's table.

I should also encourage an apology. But also, high five OP!

so_lost_im_faded 2h4m

The problem with being the best person is that everyone constantly tries to get advantage of you and keep using you. I tend to be rude when I've got a reason to be. Not with strangers, not with people I know and like, but with people who deserve it. It protects me a lot and saves me a bunch of unnecessary stress caused by dealing with toxic people. Tell them to shut up 10 times nicely? They won't. Eat their steak? They will shut up just right. Well done, OP.

Bolewgins 2h32m

Exactly! Sometimes, the only way to get through to someone is to speak their own language. In this case, OP had to be insanely rude to the insanely rude man. Totally appropriate response, I think.

If you try to get through life being the pinnacle of niceness, you're going to get stomped on by the users of the world. Sadly, there are so many assholes in the world and this guy is obviously one of them.

the_shiny_guru 3h39m

People never change either if you just keep throwing politeness at them, and honestly, so many people are just conditioned to accept it when other people treat you badly. OP was obviously sick of it. She had the option to keep trying what didn't work (interrupting him), accept that he is the way he is and just not talk anymore, or get mean, because sometimes people don't care when you ask them politely to stop, mean is the only way.

And then people shame you for being mean. Shrug. I'm sick of being told to not rock the boat and let other people treat me however they want, too.

warpedspoon 1h46m

What you did was incredibly rude so freaking well-done

I hope it wasn't though

charlie6969 2h21m

I like medium-well, but I've accepted that I'm a heathen.

warpedspoon 2h22m

medium well is fine, even well done is ok depending on the cut but "so freaking well done" is just terrible

always_wear_pyjamas 2h22m

I must disagree with you, I really don't think it's that rude to eat someone's food in that situation and emphasizing that so much makes it sound like it's not rude to constantly jabber and not listen to others, only wait for them to finish talking so you can continue. That's the rude part. Eating someone's food while they rant on is hilarious. They can always get more food, but the lack of respect their guest shows is a total dealbreaker for further social contact and ruins the night out much more thoroughly than eating someone's food.

It would still be right for OP to excuse herself minimally for doing it, only for handling the situation incorrectly, just for the sake of being an adult, and for opening up the conversation about their guest's horrible manners.


boobubum 3h52m

He probably ordered his steak well-done with ketchup.

TsukasaHimura 2h55m

Hopefully it was medium well. Well-done steaks are so chewy.

ekboney00 4h15m

What kind of heathen are you? Med rare or go home. /s

Puma999999999 43m


Apologize for handling it incorrectly but that's all you should apologize for. Explicitly tell him why you did what you did and tell him that even if he has the social etiquette of a frog, his behaviour is not cool at all.

Maybe he doesn't know that he's doing it. Maybe he's just a jerk. More specifically a sexist jerk who doesn't care when he speaks over a woman.

Idk but talk it out. If he's a jerk, he can find a hotel bc fuck that noise.


ItsOKasshole 52m

Fuck yes. Gary is the houseguest from hell.

bri0che 2h18m

I disagree with this. An apology should be an apology. If OP apologizes for her inappropriate behaviour, it's not condoning his behaviour. She should say "I would like to apologize for my behaviour last night. I felt disrespected and decided to handle it in a really inappropriate, immature way. That wasn't ok of me and I'm sorry."

If it comes across as a reprimand, it's not an apology. So no "I'm sorry, but you forced my hand by being a giant asshole." Even if it's true. If OP can't apologize for her part without making it an accusation, she should not apologize at all.

wildontherun 2h35m

I agree with you. Hopefully her point made it across still

37-pieces-of-flair 2h52m

He knew he was doing it. He admitted that he knows he talks too much.

Achleys 3h57m

OP said that Gary acknowledged he knows he talks too much.

Gary knows this and does not care. Doesn’t have enough basic human empathy to realize he’s nothing more than an annoying white noise machine everyone wishes would disappear. If Gary has a condition that causes him to talk so much, Gary refuses to get treatment and is, therefore, selfishly inflicting his inability to shut the fuck up for two goddamn seconds on other people.

Fuck Gary and everyone else who thinks it’s just adorable that they are motormouthed idiots with no ability to have any human empathy.

Jandro99 1h35m

Im sorry, but how exactly is that sexist? Is he also a racist for talking over a person of (whatever race)?

melancholymelanie 1h56m

He continued to talk over her, despite her being quite clear that she didn't want to be interrupted, until her husband spoke on her behalf. He then listened to the husband and shut up long enough to let her speak, but ignored what she said.

Balsamicreduction 1h44m

It's not uncommon for sexist men to speak over women but listen to men. I've experienced it, as have many of my friends, and it's very shitty.

violentponykiller 1h58m

Same with me and my friends! It sucks. It may be implicit to them, but men almost never do it the same way to each other

HanabinoOto 1h44m

Well he shot up when OP's husband asked him to, but not when OP did.

-Smirk- 1h57m

She also said neither her not her husband can get a word in. So it's not just her.

noblestromana 2h1m

Maybe he’s not. Maybe not intentionally. But only allowing her a chance to speak when a another man asked and then ignoring her does lead me to the same conclusion.

Jandro99 2h14m

Damn -10 votes, eeesh, sometimes reality can be harsh people

Designertoast 1h9m

I know that wasn’t the right thing to do but damnit do I ever respect you. And I’m laughing my ass off right now.

But real talk; yes. Apologize. But also feel free to say how his behavior has been rude and how it’s been affecting you. Not to excuse your behavior but to explain that it wasn’t out of the blue. Give him a chance to apologize for his crap behavior and you might be able to clear the air. Chances are, he’s going to tone it way down after The Great Steak Incident anyway.

Also, apologize to your husband but also have a discussion with him for being better about standing up to a friend who is railroading conversations so badly and so frequently that you steal and eat a slab of meat to make a point. Your husband should have stepped in A LOT sooner by pullling his friend aside and having a chat about his behavior.

hokie7373 21m

Apologize because your reaction was wrong. I understand your frustration but it was wrong. but i do like what you did. Good for you for standing up for yourself

Just avoid him the rest of the week. it will not be rude, if this guy has any clue he will know why you are doing it and will understand why. It will make the rest of the week go better.

Caperswithcheese 1h51m

Is it /r/PettyRevenge, is it /r/ProRevenge , is it /r/ThatHappened or /r/JusticeServed?

I don’t care, I enjoyed this op so much!

If it happened that way: maybe sometimes one meets people that one will never have a positive relationship with. Non-stop talking, ignoring you is an aggressive act, so Gary is the aggressor and you reacted to him. You destroyed a bridge that might have been already burning and out of this shit show you at least got a tasty steak and a hilarious story out of it.

I‘ve met Garys and excusing yourself will most likely be perceived as „she made a mistake, I will graciously forgive her and continue in my ways, because she apologised so I HAVE to be the the good one in this situation, else she wouldn’t have apologised, right?“ An apology that contains „I am sorry but you behaved so badly I snapped“ is not an apology, me being in your shoes I wouldn’t know how to even express an appropriate and sincere apology.

I would leave it at that, maybe Gary learned a lesson and he is not important for your future or your future as a couple, he has no influence on you and you do not depend an him. He is water under the bridge long gone. Your husband tried to chime in but was definitely not setting boundaries strong enough. You did. You are not being a doormat, good for you.

This story hits close to home for me because my dad used to beat me up brutally. My uncle told me that he got beaten up by him as well, but once my dad slashed my uncles tires out of a jealous fit and my uncle hit him HARD with his fist into the face. From this day on the beatings stopped. Some people can’t be talked to, the self-reflection part is missing. I don’t like the eye for an eye thingie but sometimes it seems to be the only way to get through to somebody.

You could apologise to your husband: I snapped and I did something wrong. I should have straight forward communicated that the situation is unacceptable and have left you guys alone. Next time I am going to change the situation actively so there will be no reason to apologise. „I feel ignored, I‘ve tried to tell you, it does not seem to have any effect and I do not appreciate that. I do not enjoy myself and me being here makes no sense. So I am going to leave you guys alone, have a nice evening. Bye guys. :)“ You can say this with a friendly voice and a smile. Nobody would have a right to get mad, because you stated facts and your feelings are not to be doubted or discussed because they are valid. Your husband may have suffered alone and have learned to distance himself from Gary in the future. But then you would have missed out of that tasty steak. ¯_(ツ)_/¯



You could apologise to your husband: I snapped and I did something wrong. I should have straight forward communicated that the situation is unacceptable and have left you guys alone. „I feel ignored and I do not appreciate that. So I am going to leave you guys alone, have a nice evening. Bye guys. :)“ Your husband may have suffered alone and have learned to distance himself from Gary in the future. But then you would have missed out of that tasty steak. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Butterflyinthesky23 1h41m

While I find it hilarious that you ate his steak as a stranger reading it on the internet, if my husband did that to one of my friends I would be livid. It's funny as a story but in reality is super rude. Yes he is rude and annoying but you were very aware that you were trying to piss him off. Intentions alone you should apologize.

It's still your husbands friend and your house guest for a few days so be polite when you need to be but go off and do your own thing or hang out with your own friends when you can for the next few days. He's there to hang with your husband you don't have to hang out with him too if you don't want to. But apologize and try and be polite while he's still there for your husbands sake.

isweedglutenfree 2h55m

I didn't even think about putting myself in the husband's shoes. I don't know what I would think if my SO did that to an old friend

the_shiny_guru 3h41m

Probably stare at them in completely dumbfounded and bewildered, while they enjoy that delicious steak in sweet, sweet silence.

NezuminoraQ 4h21m

I have an old friend who talks a lot and I can imagine just cracking up laughing if I had an SO that did this.

sporkad 3h4m

This is one of the few responses I agree with. In college there was this kid with an "awkward" social condition, I forget what it was called. Maybe it was Asperger, I don't know. Anyway he was just like this, he's awkward and isn't good at socializing so to deal with it he would just talk non-stop. You could just tell if he wasn't talking he felt anxious. I'm not going to pretend like it wasn't annoying as fuck, even professors hated having him in class. But at least it was short-term for OP. My recommendation would have been to just tell husband that you were going to be spending afternoons with friends or in relaxing in a different room, it's his friend and you have to stay away to keep yourself from blowing up and acting like a child. If it is a similar condition I can't imagine the way OP acted helped in any way, he might be well aware of it.

But hey, maybe he is just a big conceited backwards-cap douche who really didn't give a shit about you guys. Then yea I guess it would be ok, haha.

OneTwoWee000 2h48m


Would you be equally livid that your friend keeps talking over your husband, monopolizing the conversation for days and doesn't show any respect for your spouse?

If not, then you're an enabler, a crappy partner and a hypocrite.

serra627 3h12m

I disagree. I'm not married to the old friend. She even says her husband hasn't seen the old friend in years. And I expect more from my spouse than an old friend who I am no longer close with.

It's been, what, two dinners and she can't keep her cool?

the_shiny_guru 3h44m

I don't know. I got constantly talked over for about an hour by my bf's friend once, and by the end of it I just felt like trash and like an awkward third wheel. Speaking only to be spoken over, or ignored will absolutely drive someone crazy, especially over the course of three days...

Kingmudsy 3h53m

Damn. You don't think you're jumping the gun on all those accusations?

Satellites- 2h47m

I feel so embarrassed for her, and for her boyfriend. What a cringey and childish thing to do. I’d also be absolutely appalled if that was my partner.. horrible behaviour whether someone else is being rude or not. Have some self control.

-blent- 9m

You. Are. Effing. Brilliant.

Everyonelikeskittens 2h1m

If he’s driving you insane why didn’t you just bow out and let your husband and his friend catch up on their own?

While his friend is rude, there’s no reason you had to tag along in the first place. While what you did makes a funny story, it was a drama inducing move that was entirely unnecessary.

SharnaRanwan 2h33m

Yes exactly this.

Why did OP have to be there? Why can't she tolerate a guest for a few days no matter how annoying? And also how would she feel if someone ate her or her husband's steak?

AnthonyJCrawly 42m

...I want to be your friend OP.

BananaJammies 48m

So the thing is, two people behaving badly is in no way better than one person behaving badly.

awkwardly_normal 1h3m

Thank you. I feel like everyone is applauding OP for what she did, but it's honestly just rude and childish, regardless of how rude Gary was being.

Good job on knowing you have to apologize OP, and do it gracefully. As for Gary, just ignore him. It's literally one week of your life and you never have to invite him to your place again. Given all the things people have told us about house guests on this sub, Gary is such a minor inconvenience.

I'd explain why you reacted the way you did, and hopefully Gary will understand that his talkativeness is a huge issue if people feel the need to act that way to get him to stop. But again, if he doesn't seem to get it, just ignore him for the next couple of a days and avoid him in the future. Or do what your husband did (when he interrupted Gary and said he wanted to hear what you had to say), which was the appropriate way to handle everything.

I'd also make sure to properly apologize to your husband, because he probably felt annoyed enough dealing with Gary's behaviour, now he has to deal with yours. You're his wife, not his child.

MapMeUp 3h0m

Thank you! My brother is a Gary, and it's so frustrating that be talked over and have my points ignored, but now that we're both out of home, I spend a Max of two weeks with him per year and just let it roll off my back. People like Gary just don't realise what they're doing is wrong, not necessarily because they're evil people, they're just oblivious as shit. That said, OP and Gary should both apologize to each other. Two wrongs don't make a right.

k_princess 2h33m

Yes, it was rude and childish if her to do what she did. She knows that. She's here asking for help with how to approach the inevitable awkwardness that is bound to happen in the morning when they are all in the same room.

As for the hilariousness of it all, you gotta admit that her description of what she did was funny. Not appropriate, but funny.

yunith 3h31m

Damn, this is so true and really resounds deeply with me today. A guy was road raging at me on the road, screaming at me and instead of ignoring it and de-escalating, I screamed at him back and now we both are crazy. I feel terrible about how I reacted today and am gonna try to really reinforce what you just said and practice deescalation, because I do know that’s the wiser and safer way to live.

depressedkids 1h56m

But it’s hilarious and a taste of his own medicine. 🙌🏻😂😂😂😂

Kingmudsy 3h56m

Yeah, but it makes everyone's lives worse. Even OP feels bad now. Nobody wins except the audience, and the audience doesn't care about what's best for the actors.

Freezesnow55 2h10m

Eating that steak was hilarious. But it was also cruel and escalated the situation. Now you have a furious husband and his very sad friend.

Some people are just talkers. My ex’s dad would monopolise the whole evening every other Saturday with his non-stop talk. We have a neighbour who never stops talking, to the point where her son publicly blew up at her for it the other day.

I don’t know, I think it’s frustrating for sure but you couldn’t make it much past 24 hours?

lycosid 1h15m

Obviously you should apologize for your mean but hilarious steak theft. I think for surviving the week, avoidance is probably your only hope because Gary isn't going to change his ways overnight. Try to keep to yourself, and strategize with your husband about ways he can get Gary out of the house or otherwise deflect him from you. It sucks and is unfair that you're the one who is effectively getting cut out here, but at least it's only a short visit then you can go back to sanity.

codeverity 37m

This is both hilarious and yeah, kinda rude.

I'd suggest being up front. Find him and say that you're sorry that you did that to him, but you weren't sure how else to demonstrate to him how much what he had done bothered you. I would add in that you overreacted a bit, since you seem to agree that you did. :P

Hell, maybe it'll give you something to reference if he does it again - a wink and a 'hey Gary, remember the steak?' might clue him in.

tiffibean13 1h15m

I barely believe the steak thing happened, but if it did, I don't blame your husband for being upset with you. That was beyond childish and stupid.

I suggest having Gary stay at a hotel for the rest of his visit. I can't imagine he wants to stay in a house with you at this point anyway

tsukiii 1h48m

This has a very... 'thathappened'... feel to it (can't link to other subs here, but you get the picture).

nickjaa 1h39m

OK that was a fucking insane thing to do and you lost a lot of high ground there.

Hankscorpiohammocks 2h2m

Right? I don't see how anyone thinks this was legendary. I cringed reading it. Is she 12?

nickjaa 2h8m

i also have a hard time believing she got all the way through the steak without someone being like 'dude that's enough this is weird'

-OrangeWedge- 2h30m

imagine being her husband afraid to say anything until after dinner

Hankscorpiohammocks 2h59m

Or just taking it back haha

tsukiii 1h36m

I mean, this was funny to read and all, but... why? What was the point of that? All you did was make yourself look bad (and crazy).

I can already see the justice boners here in the comments, but let's be real here. You need to apologize for eating the dude's steak, and then make an excuse for why you will be scarce for the rest of the week. Escape and get some 'me' time. Get your head in order, and let your husband entertain his guest without you.

wadewatts23 14m

Slow clap 👏 👏 I’ve known Gary’s before and I actually feel bad for your husband because now he is stuck in this awkward situation that you and Gary created. I’m sure he wishes his good friend and wife got along. It would make it easier on him. I mean you got 4 days left? Suck it up for your husbands sake and be a good host.

emity 1h20m

Or maybe Gary could learn to be a decent fucking person, idk something something enabling assholes

literal5HeadedDragon 3h3m

Houseguests can treat me with basic respect and dignity or they can not stay in my home. It’s a hard boundary and I enforce it with everyone, including my parents. My partner can absolutely be expected to enforce it with a friend he rarely sees. In exchange I make sure he gets the same consideration.

HoofleWiffle1 1h40m

I mean honestly it's best for Gary to learn the hard way to behave. She's helping him be a better person.

wadewatts23 1h23m

I’d agree with you if Gary was going to be around for more than a few more days. Since he will be leaving soon and probably won’t return anymore in the best interest of her husband just get along with the guy.

37-pieces-of-flair 2h54m

Gary should just leave now. And never come back.

utterlyunhinged 26m

I think you probably embarrassed your husband quite a bit. Since you don't like the guy I think you should just let them have their visit where he's not in danger of losing any more of his meals. Just do your own thing for the rest of the week.

Everyone's patting you on the back but I think it's pretty clear that the guy has problems with social cues and for you to purposely do something to humiliate him in public is pretty shameful if you ask me.

ItsOKasshole 39m

Humiliated him by eating his steak? Oh please.

utterlyunhinged 1h19m

Eh, whatever. The dude is clearly off and I don't really get down with making people feel bad for stuff they can't help. I knew someone on the spectrum who talked incessantly and would monopoloize conversations like that too.

Ya'll do you though. Seems like the prevailing attitude is justice boner > compassion.

otter_rumpus 1h25m

If he's self-aware enough to acknowledge it and joke about it, it's not like he can't help it or at least make an effort to stop.

hopingtothrive 53m

He could have taken his plate back instead of just watching her eat it. No humiliation with swapping plates. It's done all the time to taste each other's food. Maybe he'll think twice about staying at someone's house for a whole week and interrupting everyone.

ItsOKasshole 37m

I'd ask him to find somewhere else to stay.

Jemima-Racktool 3h23m

If you can eat his food then you can tell him straight up to shut the fuck up.

tigerlily38 1h37m

Yeah, I would apologize and make sure Gary knows WHY you did that. Acknowledge that you handled it every poorly. See if he changes his behaviour. If not, stay away from him. It’s literally one week. Why do you need to be going out for dinner with them etc? It’s your husbands friend. They can go out alone.

As a side note, inviting a friend you haven’t seen in years, to stay at your home, is a terrible idea.

smoothiojulio 2h52m

If this is real, what you did was incredibly rude and uncalled in reaction to his own rudeness. People here will typically congratulate you because they view this thread as written reality television instead of grounding it in reality. I'd be so pissed if I was your husband. You created two problems instead of just having one and worst yet, you no longer have a teammate for the original problem. Congrats. Apologize to your husband first, then the motormouth.

Achleys 3h59m

Really? She created two problems? She and her husband REPEATEDLY told Gary to STFU so they could get a word in edgewise and the only thing Gary said in response was “haha I know I talk too much.”

Gary is the epitome of selfishness. He knows he talks too much, knows other people find it obnoxious and discourteous, and - because he clearly lacks basic human empathy - continues to do it anyway.

Bullshit that OP did anything wrong.

smoothiojulio 4h11m

What does the fact that he's militantly ignorant have to do with her actions? She chose to make a situation worse and decided to betray her husband minimally to scratch an ego-itch. Did the yappy rude man have it coming? Yeah. Was he possibly sexist? Maybe. But it didn't make anything better. It made things worse. So yes, she did do something wrong. It was equally as immature and impulsive.

Its also a red flag to me that you seem so angry over this considering it's a benign story on the internet. There's greater examples of selfishness in this world. It's really not the "epitome of selfishness".

Edit: syntax

Achleys 4h17m

You are correct and have caught me at a bad time.

I’m angry because literally two days ago I ended a five year relationship (and engagement) over someone who could not STFU long enough to hear me speak. No diagnoses (he refused to seek treatment for ADHD, which I believe to be the underlying cause of his inability to STFU and which I could have responded to with empathy had he made that an option available to us).

The refusal to seek treatment coupled with an absolute refusal to empathize with my struggle to exist in his life as no more than a sounding bored has made me particularly empathetic with OP.

Maybe I should take a break from commenting until I’m less raw.

Kingmudsy 3h51m

THANK YOU. I needed some real talk in this thread.

sluglady 3h6m

This is such an annoyingly fake story and even if it was real you just look like an asshole. Everyone here is being obnoxious.

CR3ZZ 3h7m

Damn, you sound like an asshole

aelin_galathynius_ 2h32m

I have a friend who talks incessantly when they’re uncomfortable or nervous. Maybe that’s what’s happening?

jennatar 4h18m

+100. I turn into a chatterbox when I'm anxious, and it's horrific for all

Whyevenlive88 1h22m

You embarrassed everyone including yourself because you didn't get recognition for your point. You couldn't last a few days with an annoying person.

Congrats you just became worse than Gary.

Apologise to your husband too. He's likely rightfully ashamed and annoyed of you.

You embarrassed everyone including yourself because you didn't get recognition for your point. You couldn't a few days with an annoying person.

-OrangeWedge- 2h11m

Seriously. Your husband's friend sucks but you couldn't go three days without making a huge scene because of some annoying conversations?

pharmersmarket 2h47m

Maybe it's a cultural thing but wtf is up with OP's behavior and all these comments applauding her?

A week is not that long and the guest wasn't malicious. If you're so sensitive don't invite people to stay over!

Op is messed up for making a guest feel that uncomfortable. While they are sleeping under your roof is not the time to address their social problems.

But seriously is this a Reddit thing or a western culture thing?

Hankscorpiohammocks 3h4m

Reddit immaturity thing. I suspect most people posting are young.

powabiatch 4h15m

Calling people who disagree with you immature is pretty damn immature.

Kingmudsy 4h0m

It sure is summer in here.

Seikomonster 26m

Not for nothign your husband is a jerk in the situation as well. If my college friend acted in that manner, I would say "dude you need to calm down with the talking" Second night, "dude uber is on the way to take you to a hotel, good to see you"

Kingmudsy 3h59m

You'd literally, from dinner, order an Uber for him and tell him not to contact you again?

Chasmosaur 51m

This is one of those occasions where, yeah, technically you did the rude thing.

But it was also the right thing. This guy is 33 years old, he should know when to STFU and not make everything about him. No one has apparently taught him that lesson, but you did so in a rather memorable fashion.

Eat the necessary crow in your apology, remain civil, and enjoy your silence. And maybe set up some marriage counseling because your husband sounds pissed, but he also should have done more to tell Gary to be a more respectful guest.

TheMrShadySlim 3h0m

Op is 31 and can't deal with annoying person for a week.

Like really ? eat his steak? Are you going to pay him back? Last I check streaks are super expensive.

It's like I was reading a fucking sitcom script.

soren_hero 3h42m

I'm not going to excuse OP's behavior (which I agree is childish, and she should have been more mature), but what about the guest? Why does he get a free pass for ignoring OP's stated boundary IMMEDIATELY after she communicated it to him? And the boundary sounds reasonable. "Excuse me, please allow me to finish." Then he IMMEDIATELY IGNORES it. That's not okay. He even tries to be self-aware "Yea, i know I talk to much, hahaha...neways...here's wonderwall". Both people can be in the wrong.

Basboy 1h17m

Wow, you eating that steak has me cracking up.

PlayerREDDIT 3h20m

I don't understand why everyone is condoning your behavior. It was really childish. There was nothing funny about it and came off as rude. Gary is fully aware of his talkative behavior and even though he didn't stop talking, he never intended to hurt anyone. You, taking his steak, was much more disrespectful and it should have came to your mind immediately. Like you're already 31 and yet you're still doing something an elementary schooler would. Contrary to everyone else's opinions on this post, I think YOU should stay at a hotel instead of Gary. He doesn't deserve to waste money on something he never caused. You should take time to learn how to be an adult again, otherwise your relationship with other people is just going to get worse.


ljvk 2h10m

I genuinely wish I had a better response for you... my old roommate was the exact same way & it got to a point where I was dreading coming home & being around him or him coming home from work when I’m home because, as a single Mum of a 3 yr old, I enjoy my silence, but his presence offered absolutely none. Unfortunately, the issue wasn’t resolved until I said I was going to be looking to move out & he “beat me to it” so to say and moved first, so all ended well for me. But I guess I would just do my best to tough it out until he leaves... it seems to be about all you can do. I recall thinking to myself on multiple occasions: “And here I thought it was WOMEN who talked too much...”

CultofHappy 2h56m

You yap a lot. Ima yap your steak

Marra_ 2h59m

Lol. Well it worked. He did stop talking after you took his steak.

So there's a few ways people respond to issues.

  1. Speaking up to assert your needs.
  2. Being passive aggressive.
  3. Responding with violence or abuse.
  4. Avoiding or ignoring it.
  5. Cant remember what else. Might have forgotten something.

You tried healthy option number 1. It didnt work. So you went for option 2. Being passive aggressive.

Sit down with him and apologise. Explain why you did what you did and that it was wrong of you to handle it the way you did. Do option 1. Talk to him about what's upsetting you and work out a way moving forward to cohabit peacefully with him.

Dont ignore him. That's avoiding the situation (option 2 and 4) which isnt healthy.

puritycontrol 1h48m

This is great. The even better thing would be if you’re a vegan and did this out of pure tyrannical and hysterical spite — what a way to get back at someone 😂

MsRaz 3h14m

So, who paid the bill?

SeattleBattles 3h18m

He didn't talk on the ride home...

Sounds like you were successful.

imalive_25 3h28m

I would apologize for eating his food and say that what you did was the wrong way to go about making your point, but you felt like he wasn't listening or even acknowledging what you had to say and was being completely rude to you. Maybe in a sign of truce you could go out again and buy him a steak or make one at home on the condition that if you have something to say he will hear you out and discuss the points you've made or at least acknowledge them. For the rest of the week, I would say try to interact with him a little bit but say that you just want some time to yourself to do some of your own hobbies.

WesternCommunication 3h33m

im sorry but this made me lmao (the steak part).. my aunt sounds like this GARY.... i dont even answer the phone when she calls bc im stuck for bare minimum one hour and i cant even get one word in. it is soooo annoying

krazay88 3h58m

what the fuck

lmao, you took it too far

you just had a breakdown

MaggieLizer 4h0m

Yikes, girl. I know people are applauding you for being "brave", but what exactly have you accomplished here?

  • you humiliated Gary (which hey, congrats on making someone else feel shitty), and apparently left him without a dinner that night.

-you embarrassed your husband and made him upset with you

  • you created a tense environment in your household

And all because you apparently couldn't stop and say "Hey Gary, I'm sorry to mention this, but sometimes I feel like I can't get a word in edgewise". Your actions might be funny to the peanut gallery here who doesn't have to worry about consequences, but realistically, you couldn't have handled this worse. Good luck getting your husband to forget this, I guess.

Suicides_and_sundaes 1h37m

Some people just don't have what it takes to understand social norms and cues. My sister-in-law is one of those people and it gets frustrating, but I also know she doesn't know any better and isn't able to control it.

For example, she's married to my husband's brother and they live with my mother-in-law. For Mother's Day, husband and I went to see his mom. Even though it was a trip for his mom, my sister-in-law monopolized the entire conversation... For 3 hours. She even apologized for having made plans to do something since she "didn't know we were coming to visit", not realizing we didn't come to visit primarily with her.

She's been this way since we met, which was already awkward enough since it was after my husband and I were already engaged and I was meeting his family for the first time. I was trying to get to know my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law was constantly talking to me.

It's affected her jobs to the point where she is currently unemployed after receiving her third unsatisfactory annual review in a row at a job she's only had 3 years. Before this she worked as a tour guide and was let go after multiple issues with talking excessively/time management issues.

I'm sure Gary is extremely embarrassed over a personality trait he probably cannot control. It's almost like pointing out a cleft lip or a lazy eye.

I think you definitely owe him an apology and maybe you should buy him dinner (with your husband) one night and maybe spend the rest of the week with minimal contact. See if you can plan a night out with friends or spend a night pampering yourself.

felinelawspecialist 2h52m

That sounds right, but I don't agree it's something that people like Gary or your SIL can't control. They can if they need to. They just don't.

Suicides_and_sundaes 3h37m

In my sister-in-law's case, this is definitely a disability, not just an "asshole complex".

I also have acquaintances on the spectrum that have similar behavior issues, though I'm only around them in a large setting so it isn't as noticeable/unavoidable.

soren_hero 3h50m

Agreed. Its a social NORM for a reason. Yes, there are cases where extenuating circumstances make it difficult. I work with children on the Autism Spectrum, and lots of my kiddos have difficulty controlling how much they talk (more so what we refer to as Vocal Stereotopy, or out of context phrases or sounds). Usually we introduce some tools to help them manage it, because it can impair functioning in the community (communicating wants and needs) or potentially put them at risk (getting lost, but unable to communicate there name, parents name, phone number, etc). That being said, it doesn't appear to be Gary's problem.

earthgarden 3h19m

Yep and they don't because everyone close to them thinks they are too stupid to understand basic social cues. All this 'they don't understand' and 'they can't control' is really code for 'they are dumb'

also so many people are scared to be direct, even with family members. I used to work with someone who talked non-stop and when I finally talked to her about it, she told me no one had ever told her to be quiet before or that she talked too much before. I found that hard to believe but yeah

Suicides_and_sundaes 3h40m

I don't think my sister-in-law is dumb. I think she has a mental issue that prevents her from picking up on social cues and norms. She isn't able to control her behavior and unless you specifically tell her, "I'm not here to interact with you specifically", she thinks she's responsible for interacting with you.

Caz1542 2h4m

On the plus side, I expect Gary’s never coming to visit again after that move.

Alexohx 1h2m

Sounds like logorrhea, a legit condition often caused by brain injury.

A family member of mine has this and I know exactly where you're coming from. Good strategies are to redirect, or excuse yourself firmly, or address the issue directly if the person is aware of their problem.

inkonthemind 3h7m

No turning back now. Establish your dominance. Shit the remains of his steak into his mouth.

cinnapear 2h27m

Wow. That’s a move that you think of in the shower the next day. Well done!

But as others have said, rude as fuck.

Antoinette_1 2h39m

Hey at least you finally got him to shut the hell up

pngkunt 53m

Go out, keep yourself occupied and (if you have a chance) put some tomato sauce (ketchup) on your shoulders just below your ears. When they ask why you have red shoulders tell them that Gary spoke so much your ears started bleeding.

sagsign86 1h58m

In all my years on Reddit, I have never read something as fucking dumb as this

pngkunt 2h13m

Backstory: I was on a road trip (in the back seat) for a work trip. Norm (driver) just would not shut up. He'd fucking yap from when the key went in to when the key got turned off. And it was as bad as Gary. One day when eating a pie and listening to his dribble I had enough. I took the pie sauce packet (Australian style - you have to see them to believe how well they work) and put some on the shoulders of my white work shirt. When we got to the motel for the night he asked what the fuck is that? "My ears bled because you talk so much". It actually got through his skull.

TexFiend 3h23m

That's the funniest thing I've ever read.


That steak eating move was pure genius.

But in regards to your problem, i recommend a 3 step plan. The first two steps definitely need to be apologies.

1) apologize to your husband for being rude to his friend

2) apologize to your husband's friend for eating his steak and being rude to him. Use an excuse if you want (maybe you'd had a bad day, or something).

3) Explain to your husband that his friend is driving you nuts. That you acknowledge you didn't handle things well, and it's fine if he stays the rest of the week, but that some things are going to have to change. He's your husband's friend, so he needs to be the one to step up and be the host. You just can't handle it (as recent events have demonstrated).

That might mean you go and stay with a friend (or at a hotel) for the rest of the week ("so sorry to leave you both, but my friend needs my support due to [made up reason]").

Maybe you stay at the house, but no longer join in with their plans. Only saying a quick hello when you get home from work, maybe eating dinner with them (if you can stand it) then heading off to do your own thing. If you can't handle dinner, then maybe you've got "plans with friends" every night.

Work out whatever alternate plan is going to work best for you and your husband. Avoiding him might be rude, and even someone as oblivious as Gary will eventually work out that you don't like him. But the alternative is to spend time with him.

You may prefer to have it out with him. To be clear and explicit about why you reacted the way you did. If you go this route, then I'd only do it with your husband's input/ok (as it's HIS friend). If you do it, stay calm and clear with the ultimate goal being to work out a way to coexist. BUT. Honestly, I don't like your odds. He was already aware that he talked too much, and he kept doing it anyway. "Making him aware of it again" doesn't seem like a plan that will end up with a different result.

One other thing I would do is talk to your husband and make it clear that Gary can never stay in your house again. Not if you're there too. That if he comes, you'll be leaving.

Your husband doesn't get to inflict him on you again. Not for long, and certainly not in a place where you can't escape him.

In an ideal world, you'd be able to get along with all of your husband's friends. But we don't live in an ideal world. And this particular friend is scratching his nails on the chalkboard of your life.

You'll promise to do your best to remain calm, mature and in-control around Gary when you see him, but your husband needs to come to the table and realize that asking you to spend time with him is not a small request. It's a huge deal.

So if he visits in future, it needs to be during a period where you won't be home, or he needs to get a hotel. If your husband invites him again, then he needs to take full responsibility for entertaining him, and understand that you're not able to participate (or that you'll only be able to do specific things with them for short periods of time).

Because spending a (very short) period of time with him every now and again is very different from not being able to escape him for 7 days in a row.

3) Explain to your husband that his friend is driving you nuts. That it's fine if he stays the rest of the week, but that some things are going to have to change. He's your husband's friend, so he needs to be the one to step up and be the host. You just can't handle it (as recent events have demonstrated).


But make it clear that he can never stay in your house again. Not if you're there too.

Siren_of_Madness 1h31m

I wish I had half the cojones you do, OP.

I mean... You probably should apologize, but he doesn't really deserve it. I hope he understood your message, at least.

Amonette2012 2h17m

This is such a boss move. I'd just ride it out.

alley-fish 2h54m

Man, I wish I had even half the balls you do.

In all seriousness, though, Gary seems like the type of dude you can only handle in small doses. I don't think avoiding him completely is necessary, but probably avoid prolonged contact. You need time for yourself when dealing with people like this. No long dinners... especially with steak.

Kibblets 2h57m

I don't really believe that this is real. I want to believe, but I don't.

hotdogwoman 2h43m

Someone gold this woman!

germanjellyfish 3h14m

Nothing to advise but damn tagt was hilarious. I mean, dude you got a serious spine.

Your husband will probably get over it? And it doesn't seem like you want to be Friends with Gary anyways.

turnsyouon22 3h16m

I just have to say this: you are a goddess

ladypuffsalot 3h17m

Omg you are amazing!!! Please post an update once Gary leaves.

renain 3h18m

Yours was the only right response! I bet you taught him a lesson.

obarf_bagzo 2h45m

Oh man, obviously that was the wrong thing to do, but I bet it was so satisfying.

paix_agaric 3h20m

That is fantastic. Maybenot the most mature, but definitely got the point across it seems when nothing else would

MazMazda3 3h25m

Woahhh! Yeah that's how you assert dominance. Heck yea

star655 3h25m

Wow what a twist this story was a wild ride

koopey 2h50m

Well damn. Gary sounds like me. I've been told I talk to much, especially if I'm drinking. Thanks for this post, now I can reevaluate the things I do that annoy people. I have no advice for you other than to show this submission to Gary, maybe he'll have a lightbulb that goes off too

isaacs_ 3h25m

First of all, bravo, that's freaking hilarious.

Second, good on you for acknowledging that it probably wasn't the most mature way to handle the situation and agreeing to apologize.

An apology needs exactly three parts:

  1. Acknowledge and validate harm done.
  2. Take responsibility without defensiveness.
  3. Make amends (if possible) and take actions to prevent the harm from being done in the future.

"I'm sorry" is optional. It's not important if you feel bad, except insofar as it's relevant to those three points. And requesting/demanding/"hoping for" forgiveness is manipulative and bad. The purpose of an apology is not to assign blame, but to build connection through genuine shared understanding of a difficult moment.

Gary clearly does not "get" space-sharing in conversations. He apparently knows this, intellectually at least, but doesn't understand it well enough to impact his behavior. It's probably worse when he's nervous about being in a new place, or excited to see an old friend, or feeling awkward around said old friend's spouse. It sounds like it's not just that he's talking a lot, but that what he's saying is somewhat superficial. A floppy apology that just takes the blame and doesn't address the underlying issue can potentially make the situation worse; you may end up validating his behavior rather than his feelings, and sweeping yours aside in the process!

In order to get through your apology and have any hope of building some kind of connection or understanding, I recommend managing the conversation very deliberately, almost to the point of absurdity.

"Gary, I'd like to have a structured conversation with you. Would that be ok?"

(Possible reactions: "Umm... sure?" "What's that mean?" "No, fuck you lady, you ate my steak", idk.)

"Here's how this is going to work. I'm going to set this timer for 2 minutes and say what I have to say, and you are going listen. Then you're going to have 2 minutes to respond, and we'll repeat like that back and forth. Is that ok with you?"

Ie, define the structure, make sure it's clear and objective, get buy-in before starting.

Then, set the timer, and apologize for eating his steak ("I ate your steak last night. It was not an appropriate way to handle my feelings. It created an awkward situation and did not reflect the emotional maturity I wish to bring to my life. I won't do that again, and my goal here is to address those feelings in a compassionate way where we can both feel safe and heard."), and idk, maybe invite him to reflect on why it's so hard for him to make space for others in conversations, or tell him that you've been frustrated or sad that you're learning so much about him and his life, but you're getting the impression he isn't that interested in getting to know you. Just whatever feels true for you, as super blunt and honest and nonjudgmental as you can be.

Then give him his 2 minutes, and really listen as hard as you can to whatever he has to say. He'll probably stumble through his time, get sidetracked, and oh, just one more thing, etc. But you have to be firm. When the timer dings, it's your turn. Hand goes up, "ah ah, it's my time now". Take 2 minutes to reflect what you took from what he said. Try to understand the points he made and reflect them back to him, so he can see what listening looks like. Then give him the floor again for 2 minutes, repeat as many times as necessary.

Maybe 2 minutes isn't enough, but it should be equal and balanced. My partner and I use this technique with each other regularly, and it's helped us feel safe and equal through some very challenging conversations over the years. We even put it on the calendar weekly. It was weird the first time, but now I really look forward to it, even when there's nothing big to discuss. It's nice to know that we'll have time to really deliberately check in.

amcius221 3h27m

I wouldn't have had the guts to do that but it was totally justified as most other commenters have said. You got the point across and you now have a great story to tell to people to make them laugh their ass off.

jojow77 3h27m

Umm how bout kick him out of your house? You already pulled off the craziest move ever with the steak I pretty sure asking him nicely to find somewhere else to stay wouldn't seem to wild. Maybe use the apology as the segway to parting ways. You should make sure you make it up to your husband if anything.

anythinghonestly 3h31m

I love you. Let’s be friends! I’d help you eat the steak!

2TieDyeFor 3h33m

Apologize for your actions and explain to Gary how he makes you feel.. unacknowledged, dismissed, etc. Pointing out someone's flaws isn't easy, but if you can show how it affects others' emotionally that should help.

Try not to fight fire with fire... or more steak lol.

katzluvme 3h34m

I'm not really one to give good advise but I would scream at the top of my lungs SHUT THE FUCK UP OR PACK YOUR SHIT AND GO STAY IN A FUCKING HOTEL!! Repeat as necessary.

TroubleEntendre 3h35m

You are a Queen. We bow before you.

lightlimegreen 3h35m

Whaha what a joke. I laughed so hard.

Excuses yourself to him, just me honest and tell both of them that you can't stand his conversations anymore. Let them both go out of the house and do something fun so that you can do your own thing.

evil_fungus 3h36m

You are fucking AMAZING OP I LOVE YOU

gary sounds annoying as hell! I don't think you overreacted at all considering you probably paid for his meal anyway lol

tres_ecstuffuan 3h37m

That’s hilarious. Your husband should be proud.

saltmother 3h38m

No real advice, just super impressed. I agree with what most people are saying about the apology thing- do it for the way it was handled but no more than what is necessary. Basically I see the apology as a way to give him an example of what being a courteous, conscientious, and NORMAL human looks like. Cuz fuck that guy. Can’t wait for an update ha

heySMM 3h39m

you don't owe him an apology. you didn't act insane or immature, you made your point abundantly clear nonverbally BY NECESSITY.

his silence while you ate is all the proof you need that he doesn't NEED to run at the mouth, he only does it because he's allowed to - just like he allowed you to eat his steak.

I hope he's absorbed the first-hand lesson that people's silence while he's speaking isn't permission, it's just really hard to think of what to do or say when someone totally ignores basic manners and does whatever they want.

you don't owe him an apology, and your husband shouldn't be asking you for one.

heySMM 3h44m

whooooole lot of upset men in these comments, completely outraged over WOMAN! EATING A MAN'S STEAK! but totally fine with a staggeringly rude and charmless man who treats his host like absolute garbage.

truly, an impenetrable mystery.

CelphCtrl 3h39m

Please teach me. Such confidence. If I was gary, I'd be wow because you just ate the whole thing.

Wubbalubbadubbitydo 3h42m

Fucking savage OP savage. You’re the kind of person Gary needed to run into.

Maybe Gary finally learned a life lesson.

englishgirl 3h42m

Does he have autism? I have a friend with autism who is the same, he just talks and talks and didn't recognise social cues of when people want to interject or so the conversation. Although we just have to tell him to be quiet for a bit and he does.

FecusTPeekusberg 3h43m

I bet that was the best steak you've ever had, huh? As someone who struggles to be heard in conversation, I've often wished I could do something similar. And I can definitely empathize - my ex can turn a yes/no answer into a 10 minute long tangent and never fails to do so despite saying he's trying to work on stopping. Seriously. He. Never. Shuts. Up.

Well, after apologizing, I'd say go out and do something for yourself, by yourself so you're away from Gary as much as possible for the rest of his visit. Get yourself a massage, have a quiet afternoon reading in a coffeeshop or something else that'll relax you.

koukla1994 3h43m

I’m cackling that is hilarious!!!

Look, was it mature? Probably not. Effective? Hell yeah! You tried talking to him and being assertive and he just railroaded you! So you showed him how it felt. Your husband should have been on your side.

I suggest saying “Look we tried to explain it to you and you refused to listen, so I decided to speak your language.”

maryjannie 3h45m

LMAO! 😂😂😂 Well, do what works. Reach over and start eating off his plate as long as he keeps talking. If asks tell him he talk to much to the point of being extremely rude. That this WILL be the first and last time Gary will visit. #YouGoGirl

dduncombe 3h46m

Enjoy your week of dominance?

DaddyJustice89 3h47m

I think you reacted perfectly normally considering your husbands friend is a fucking sociopath

WeAllShineOn97 3h48m

I actually think that was a pretty good way to handle it. Sure, it may have been rude, but you achieved the goal of him not talking, at least for a while.

In terms of how to ride out the rest of the week, I'm also not sure. Have you tried discussing what it feels like when he talks constantly?

DietCOKAY 3h50m

I think you did the best option when words no longer worked. Obviously it got through to him, and I imagine you paid for the meal, so (Plus, you technically already apologized)? Honestly, he owes you an apology for being a shitty guest in your home.

rotundzel 3h51m

I will never forget this story. This is amazing.

monkee_see 3h52m

Yeah, not cool to eat his steak. Juvenile, really.

If you truly can't take it, just fake an errand or a sick friend in order to have an excuse for a few hours or even the whole day/night.

Once he's gone, discuss how to avoid this ever happening again.

DiabloF66 3h54m

I believed it till the steak part.

rubythursday00 3h54m

SPOT ON eating that steak!!! Definitely don’t stop when he asks, only stop when your husband says so (since that’s what he’s doing to you)!

timmehjimmeh7 3h55m

I think the steak thing was funny. However, I think in this situation, the best thing is maybe to just deal with It? It's one week of pain, and it's his friend, he probably just wants to chat with his close friend. Despite that being rude, it's better for your sanity to just go with the flow and chill. Sometimes it isn't a "you and your significant other" show. Maybe suggest they spend time together and go do some you time to get away from him.

LochNessaMonster7 3h56m

God, I wouldn’t apologize for a damn thing. I’d have kicked him out right there and then. He’d be welcome to stay in a hotel if he’s going to be that obnoxious and rude.

Janus_Spawn 3h57m

Seems immature but hilarious! As long as Gary understands why you did this, you're cool.

donkeynique 3h57m

You're my new role model tbh

hopingtothrive 3h59m

Did you honker down on your salad after the steak?

torontorollin 3h59m

First of all, awesome idea taking his food. I can see my girlfriend doing that as well.

Now you have agreed to apologize it is an opportunity to tell Gary "dude, I don't know why you do it but you are driving me up the wall you won't ever leave room for anyone else to talk. I just met you and I want to like you but you have to stop it"

Better yet, get your husband who is in a tough spot, and wants everyone to get along, but obviously doesn't want to rock the boat and thinks having you pissed off is somehow a safer bet to tell Gary this (I.e. Your husband should take your side or at least try to talk to this loqacious motherfucker

CuteRedditLurker 4h2m

This is one hilarious piece I ever read in this subreddit. 😂 While reading I thought your husband would probably act mad in front of his friend but would laugh when you'd be alone with him. 😂 I think you did great instead of losing your composure and not ending up screaming at that annoying friend which I would have done if I was in same situation. If your husband is asking you to apologise just apologise saying you got a little tipsy and then hungry. I hope if that guy is mature enough, he would have understood by now. If not... Better wait for him to leave. You can't do much unless your husband puts his foot down and tells his friend to stop with all unnecessary blabbering.

Sputnik0077 4h2m

When I grow up I want to be like you. 👍👍👍

radikaltruth 4h2m

I actually like how you handled this.

Jackthastripper 4h3m

To be fair it's not like he was eating it 🤣🤣

No advice for you OP. It was a teaching moment for Gary but I am not sure the lesson was presented in the best possible way.

FauxPearlClutcher 4h3m

Bless you. GOD I wish I was able to be confrontational like this towards the people around me who are so fucking rude, but if I did the consequences wouldn’t be favourable to me.

thechairinfront 4h4m

Oh my God I love you! You put out a perfect example for him.

I know a lot of people like this. Don't apologize. If he brings it up tell him you gave him a perfect example of what he was doing in a way he could see. He will talk and talk and talk some more no matter what you do or say. He's just a talker and you have to learn to tune him out and go about your life around him. He won't even notice you aren't paying attention.

nomnommish 4h8m

The steaks are too damn high!!

Jokes apart, Gary is your husband's friend, not yours. You don't need to be joined at the hip. Just tell your husband to go out every night with Gary so they can "catch up on old times". Give them their "space" ;)

I'm sure Gary will be happy, and so will you.

Technatrix 4h9m

You are my spirit animal

productivemodego 4h9m

This is hilarious. I would've been stunned into silence and awe had I seen that happen.

Dinner_in_a_pumpkin 4h12m

Every time he interrupts you can lightly and awkwardly put your hand, or even a single finger on his shoulder or elbow. When he gets distracted by that just continue your thought.

myblurgleisbetter 4h13m

I dont think OP did anything wrong, and I dont really see the need to apologize. Tact failed, so why keep it up? You were rude to a disrespectful person that you dont like, apologizing is just something to do so that they stop being mad at you. Why pretend? You dont like the freind, act like it.

cptedgelord 4h13m

25 year old male here and I'm known for being TOO frank among my friends. I'll straight out tell him he's talking too much and annoys the shit out of me. But let me tell you, what you did was the strongest passive aggressive reaction I have ever heard of. Hats off to you random lady from across the ocean, I envy you! You did exactly what he was doing to you the whole time; eating his steak = talking over you stealing your chance to talk, ignoring him and keep eating = him ignoring you and keep talking and of course, annoying the hell out of him! No lines crossed, nothing disproportionate.

So no, no advice here either. But I'd take your advice in future this kind of situations.

Ribenadrinker 4h14m

I feel like you are an epic hero and this made me chuckle. Next time he talks forever and you want to say something click your fingers rudely in front of his face and point to yourself and say "over here" until he stops and looks at you. He's a dick. But luckily he's only with you for a few days.

Thessaere 4h14m

I‘ve never witnessed such levels of savage on this sub before

DarkestofFlames 4h17m

OP, I want to buy you a steak dinner for how you handled it. I would not apologize. Your husband and houseguest both know that Gary is rude and the fact that he keeps talking even after he acknowledges it shows that he's an insufferable asshole.

triciamilitia 4h17m

Sounds like my sister. I still can’t manage her. It’s always a one sided conversation. Even if she asks something it’s never about what I say but what her opinion is.

realmonkeycel 4h18m

This is extremely cringey and the fact that it is heavily upvoted and your response was validated calls the majority of "advice" given on this sub into question.

currymesoftly 4h18m

I have absolutely no advice for you, that was a legendary power move. In fact, you should be giving people advice!!

cantremembername1 1h25m

Lmao (I don't think I have used it in years). But OP thanks for the giggles.

This just went hugely sideways half way through. I was more expecting you blew up and made a scene. But that was hilarious.

I don't know what can be good advice than "I am sorry I reacted to that situation badly, but I think I made a perfectly valid point".

Buddhamama50 1h16m

I am a great believer in being fluffy. But I don’t think you should apologise at all. Gary got a great natural response for his rudeness. Maybe he will actually really think before he lets his mouth run on rails.

And I say this as someone who got fired from a corporate job for talking too much :) :) I learnt to keep my trap shut at work.

artfulwench 49m

You've learned how to get Gary to shut up. Well done!

For the rest of the week? I'd just avoid Gary as much as possible. Hubs is upset with you for embarrassing him but he's the one who invited Mr. Mouthpiece into your home, so I don't have a lot of sympathy for him.

enzanurOz 1h24m

Okay I get it it wasn’t the mOsT maTuRE wAy tO hAndLE iT But your husband has to see why you’re frustrated and how that is literally absolutely hilarious. I mean you could have verbally lashed out at him instead.

PermanentBrunch 1h47m

This is the best thing I’ve read in forever, and I would gild you if that was a thing I was ever willing to do for someone.

It’s an epidemic - people incessantly talking about themselves. Seems most of my conversations are over as soon as I quit asking questions. It doesn’t seem like a generational thing, as this is a common experience for me with 60 year olds and 20 year olds.

Are people not aware that you have to ask the other person questions and engage with them in order to have a meaningful conversation? Definitely interested in other’s experience with this, and how to handle it. The best route I’ve found is just blunt honesty, and telling the person what they are doing and how it makes you feel.

Clearly this doesn’t always work. Next time I’m trying your way.

Anyway, bra-fucking-VO, and I do hope you will grace us with an update!

unauthorizedbunny 2h28m

This is some straight-up Elaine Benes shit and you should be so proud.

neuroctopus 1h29m

Will you be my friend? I think you're amazing.

KeithKATW 2h19m

Just tell him you're a crazy bitch... He'll understand... (that was in no way meant to be offensive... I can just tell by your personal account that you are, in fact, "a crazy bitch")(or at least you have some crazy bitch dna in there somewhere...)

Yall should drink more, and then do some more crazy shit, and he wont feel too bad... There's only one way out, and that's it...

TurdFergusonHat 2h31m

Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do but it was pretty fucking epic and took some balls... Haha. Good for you.

I don't have any advice I just wanted to say that was awesome.

golfingrrl 2h34m

After the second paragraph I truly expected you to say he followed you guys into the bedroom and kept talking. But then I was on the edge of my seat while waiting to see that he took the steak back. And I snorted when I saw you finished his steak. Gawd what a rollercoaster of a post! Well played OP. Coming from an introvert, I know your pain. You may need to “allow” Gary and Will some time to hang out sans Bri while you find some alone time. God speed with your patience.

uwatstud 2h37m

Hahaha! What can you do? Nothing! Accept that you and Gary are very different people! Lighten up and realize that that's just who he is, it's not intended to be rude towards you. And yeah your husband is pissed at you, with time he'll hopefully see this situation as funny. It's very funny, by the way.

yourafterthought 2h38m

Ear plugs.

But also what you did is the “I should have” people come here to talk about after they put up with bullshit behaviour. So kudos to the bravery.

I’m of the unpopular opinion because I’m petty: If there’s anything to be sorry for, it might be straining Will and Gary’s relationship and your relationship with Will. I think what you did had the intended purpose and Gary got what he deserved. If he can’t accept that, why not stay in a hotel?

justty94 2h39m

Is it wrong for me to ask who paid for the steak?...

jifPBonly 2h43m

Not all heroes wear capes

freudinthehizouse 2h58m

This is hilarious. Honestly. You have balls. I truly admire you! I hope your husband sees how funny this is soon. Seriously BRAVO.

krsdean 3h8m

Yes! My MIL does this. I just shut down and tune her out completely, it's gotten to the point where she could spend an entire weekend with us & I wouldn't be able to tell you a single "conversation" we had. I'm actually able to talk with my kids while she's talking & she won't miss a beat or even realize I'm not listening. I can't tell if she just likes to hear herself talk or she... well nope, thats all I have, that seems to be it.

freudinthehizouse 3h10m

That sounds exhausting! Shows she’s very self-centered. I’m sorry.

krsdean 3h14m

She is... and it is. There may be an event coming up she'll be invited to and I'm dreading it already.

lavahot 3h0m

You know, I think you did the right thing. You made him feel how you felt when he was being rude. In addition, you got him to shut up for a night, AND a free steak dinner! Apologize for nothing. Don't rub his nose in it, but just explain that how he felt when you were rude to him was exactly what you felt when he was being rude to you. Once he makes that association he'll be a much better houseguest. Gotta break that mustang.

Quantum_Echo29 3h30m

You're brilliant. I aspire to be you.

fuzzeh 1h30m

lmfao you're a legend.

she-Bro 1h17m

You are my soul animal. That was such a power move. Bad ass

ProgramPromises 56m

Don't you dare apologize.

Rumored17 1h37m

Why should she not apologize? What she did was incredibly rude and highly inappropriate. Funny as hell, and he deserved it, but come on. They're in their 30s.

What she did was wrong, she should definitely apologize.

HoofleWiffle1 1h42m

"I'm sorry I stopped to your level."

PermanentBrunch 1h48m

Fuck that. Gary demonstrated unacceptable behavior, and learned a hilarious and valuable lesson. Gary owes her a thank you card IMO

astralellie 2h22m

Lmao I can offer no help but like the man wouldn't stop talking till you showed him who's boss and ate his food oh my god.

ramborocks 2h24m

The steak thing is pretty funny. I'd be honest with Gary and apologize for the steak thing.. Be funny about it.. Something like if my mouth can't talk I gotta eat. You did all the talking so I thought you might be the same. Sharing is caring right?

Next step.. Tough it out. He's only around a couple more days. He's probably got some type of anxiety and just can't stfu. You can so this.. Hes your husband's friend and if this guy keeps being so annoying it sounds like your husband won't want him around much in the future.

I'm curious what others think... 👍

prawntohe 2h31m

"Sorry you couldn't shut up long enough to eat your steak."

ChronoCoyote 2h17m

As someone who has spent her life getting talked over and pushed aside.. thank you. Fucking seriously, you are my goddamn hero. Holy shit your shiny spine needs to go down in reddit history.

soarin_horizon 1h38m

Major power move. I commend you so, so much. I wish I had the guts to eat a rude person’s steak for some delicious karma!

cjbpnw 2h48m

I wonder if the dude is on the autism spectrum ... or just clueless

PermanentBrunch 1h57m

Divorce your husband and marry me instead

puritycontrol 2h3m

I hope your husband doesn’t grill you too much. You were a little saucy, yes, but Gary was a bit raw in his behavior and you were over and done with his bull. After you cool down and let your juices settle, hopefully you and Will can come to a happy medium after you let him know this was a necessary but rare outburst! It’d be a mistake if he takes Gary’s side, especially since Will knows how he’s such a dumb cow.

pammylorel 2h24m

You don't owe Gary an apology. He owes you one for being such a dense blabber mouth. You tried being nice, he didn't get it. Now he finally has it through his thick walnut skull. Well done girl!

melancholymelanie 1h59m

I'm sure it was rude and all, and maybe you should apologize, at least for the sake of your husband's comfort, but... You're amazing, and I want to be more like you. You deserved that steak. And you weren't much ruder than he was being.

ghostytot 2h11m

I can’t stop laughing at this. I mean, maybe write him a letter about how much he talks since it seems he’d just talk straight through what you’re trying to say. After apologizing of course.

But man. The way you handled that steak this was incredible. Straight out of a comedy skit, just picturing it is killing me. Thank you!

Peemster99 2h21m


I'm not sure that this was true at all!

I think you pretty much made your point, and hopefully he's got enough of a clue to keep it under control for the rest of his visit. I do think it's best for you guys to keep your distance-- after all, he is there to see your husband.

giga_booty 2h36m

I don’t have any advice for you. I just wanna know if we can be friends because you’re a badass and I like your style <3

I_Bleed_Sausage 1h4m

If this isn't the plot of a romantic comedy it's going to be

PMmeyournavel 2h21m

That'd make for a pretty short and boring movie tbh

golfingrrl 2h36m

It could be a cute Pixar short. I bet they’d find a cute twist on it. In case the steak-stealing bandit and chatty Kathy/Gary weren’t enough.

I_Bleed_Sausage 2h28m

I find most romantic comedies to be boring

ooa3603 1h46m

If you weren't married, I'd propose right now. That kinda spine and spunk is wife material right there.

TrannosaurusRegina 1h56m

You are a fucking legend!

That is all!

Forthwriter 2h12m

Your husband just sounds super chill, and you two sound like you have a pretty healthy relationship.

turgidmosquito 2h16m

This is hilarious. And a weird experience you and Gary could use as a way to build a friendship if you both feel so inclined. I agree with other posters here who've encouraged you to talk to Gary. I think you should be upfront about your reasons and feelings. Ask about his too. See if you want to use embarrassment and discomfort as a great friendship orgin story. If not, it will still be a great party anecdote for you both.

mrdobie 2h16m

That’s the taste of victory.

rymenhild 2h20m

"thanks for the fucking steak." - Quagmire

Veggieman34 2h26m

Taste of his own medicine. I like what you did tbh. Established dominance.

kentez1217 2h27m

I think what you did sent a message and it’s also super awesome. You’re my hero...

alasko42 1h40m

Gotta squash the beef

megaus 2h33m

Hahaha oh man! I don’t think I would have managed to eat the whole thing and not feel bad 😂 does Gary live on his own? I know that I find myself talking a lot when I’m around adults I haven’t seen in a while, because it’s just me and my 2 year old in our house. Probably not to the extent that Gary does I don’t think haha

DarkReaver1337 2h38m

Just talk to the guy separately and be like look you seem cool and you want to him have friends buuuuut please tone it back. Tell him you just can’t get a word in and would appreciate som restraint on his part. Most men will appreciate it when you are frank with them.

BethisnotonMeth 2h39m

That is hilarious! r/pettyrevenge material!

Poly_Tech_69 2h39m

Girl you’ve just taught me a brand new way to get myself heard when men won’t shut the fuck up. Never apologize.

buttersugarflour 2h39m

I'd give him one more chance. If you feel he's making enough of an effort (and yes, you get to decide what you consider enough and what's reasonable to you), then perhaps hanging out with him some of the time could be an option? If he continues onwards as though the steak incident meant nothing then I would treat him with the respect any guest deserves, but keep my space or only participate in activities that mandate silence (i.e. a movie).

ConsistentSpot 2h46m

I don't think you should apologize. I think you are amazing.

jazzhory 2h55m

Wholy shitballs I read that aloud to my partner, we had the biggest victory laugh! You are awesome. Did you also eat your meal after the steak?

NocturnalNightingale 2h55m

Congratulations for losing your shit in such a hilarious way, I'd have loved to be a fly on the wall when you did that. Anyways, Gary is old enough to know what he's doing. He knows he's being rude and obnoxious, he just doesn't give shit. Maybe it's rude of me, but I wouldn't be apologising to anyone for anything. Your husband wouldn't address the issue, so you did, albeit in a creative way. My advice is to cut this visit short and let hubby's friends grab a hotel next time.

owlblackeverything 2h56m

Sounds like you handled it perfectly, tbh.

scuttlebuggy 2h56m

Rude? Technically yes. But sometimes you have to do some wild shit to get your point across because normal social means aren’t working. Do the apology thing but Gary can piss off imo. He can’t not know he’s way out of line.

dickyankee 3h3m

I am standing on a chair applauding.

Polarbones 3h5m

Hahaha!! You didn't make a misteak at all, my dear! That. Was. Briiliant!! And hilarious! You want my advice for how to handle it if his rudeness continues? Tell him to keep ordering steak...

earthgarden 3h7m


this...this is beautiful

worthlessornot 2h25m

This needs to be on a sitcom like the office

fitfastgirl 2h43m

I am in awe! I LOVE IT.

Though this is now a sticky situation. One where you retaliated in a most brilliant way, but you end up in the shit because now they are upset. Classic weak kid who always gets picked on by the bully only to beat the bully up and get into trouble thing. Props to you. Apologize for handling it inappropriately then carry on your business. Don't ignore him, but don't partake in things you don't want to. You've made your point, if he doesn't seem to get it then he doesn't get any more conversations or attention from you. Plus if he really doesn't like it, he can move out and o find somewhere else to stay. Good luck with it, you gave me a good laugh.

ea_rubes 2h44m

Lmao you're fucking hilarious!!! My damn role model. Such a ridiculous power move to show dominance hahaha you're good you set the tone for Gary. So just give him a half assed apology thats directed to his. behavior.. "sorry I ate your steak I wouldn't have normally done it you know me I love to eat I sometimes dont know when to stop"

He'll get the picture and the remaining time he is there should be better