The T-Room
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Wonders in Letterland

Episode 3 (Debbie in the Land of S)

First transmitted 18.4.1985



Deborah Thau as Seraphina the Seasprite



Debbie arrives on a beach in the land of S. She hears some music starting up and a fisherman comes in and starts singing as she rushes to hid in the bushes:


I'm Skipper McKipper.

I'm Captain of a clipper.

I've been splicing the old mainbrace

Ever since I was a nipper.


When I was in a shipwreck

Oh, how the waves did roar!

I grabbed hold of a bar of soap

And washed myself ashore!




Some sea dogs use a telescope;

That's what they put their eyes on.

I prefers a little brush

For sweeping the horizon!




Debbie wonders whether the fisherman is T-Bag in disguise, so she watches him for a little while longer. He catches a skate and a sock. Debbie decides that he can't be T-Bag because he is too daft. He sings the chorus to his song again, and then catches his fishing hook on the back of his coat as he is casting his line.

Debbie comes and sits beside him. He regails her with one of his adventure about when he went after the great speckled whale, Spotted Dick. He tells her that they ran into a terrible storm with fork lightning and knife lightning. He tells her that the rocks tore a hole in his ship and the water came pouring in, so he drilled another one to let it all back out again, but they sank nevertheless. They were shipwrecked for twenty nine days and only had a tin of sardines to live on. On the thirtieth day, they fell off.

He then gets a bite on his fishing line and reels it in. It is the letter S, but he throws it back. Debbie is dismayed and tells Skipper that he must get it back.

The Skipper tells her that they must go to the bottom of the sea to get it. Debbie asks how they are going to breathe. Skipper tells her that since it is a game, they can do anything. They take off their shoes and socks, and go down to the bottom of the sea.

T-Bag is drinking loads of cups of tea in quick succession. She then looks in her saucer at the beach, and sees that Debbie isn't there. She then notices her shoes left on the bench on the beach and realises that she must be under the sea. She looks under the sea with her saucer, and sees Seraphina the Seasprite sitting on a rock and admiring herself in a hand mirror. She has the golden "S" around her neck on a necklace.

Seraphina sings:

A seasprite pearched upon the rocks,

Will comb her soft and silky locks.

And thank king Neptune she's not plain,

Then comb and comb and comb again,

Admire her face within the glass,

And hope her beauty's not surpassed.


A siren singing in her lair

Will comb and comb her silver hair,

And unaffected by the rain

and stormy seas, she'll comb again

As all the fishes swim along,

Astonished by the seasprite's song.


She asks the mirror who is the most beautiful in the sea. T-Bag appears in the mirror and tells her that she is beautiful but someone more beautiful will come along and she mustn't let the charm go (the S) or her beauty will fade away. Seraphina is furious and decides to make sure that never happens.

Debbie and the Skipper come across Seraphina, and the Skipper explains that seasprites love to be flattered. Debbie approaches Seraphina and the Skipper tells her what to say. Seraphina is not impressed and tells her that she can't have the charm. She then tells Debbie that she is not stunning at all. Debbie is annoyed and asks who told her all this nonsense. Seraphina tells her that it was her mirror, and she adresses it, but this time, gets no reply. Debbie is suspicious and figures out that it must be T-Bag. The Skipper tells Debbie that Seraphina is so stuck up that she will swallow anything that is said about her. He tells Debbie that they are in a real spot. This gives Debbie an idea.

Meanwhile, in the T-Room, T-Shirt presents T-Bag with a cup of tea. T-Bag asks if he has any food, but he doesn't. He offers to magic up a cake for her, but she decides not to risk it. T-Shirt persuades her otherwise and he magics up a delicious looking cake. T-Bag praises him and picks up a big slice. Water gushes out of the slice in her hand, and T-Shirt explains that it is a sponge cake. He tries again and magics up another plate of delicious looking cakes. T-Bag takes a bite and breaks her teeth. T-Shirt explains that they are rock cakes. He then has one last try and rustles up a cake with a big mug embedded in it. "I suppose that's a cup cake", says T-Bag in disgust. She tells him that he can't watch TV until he has done an extra hour of magic homework.

She has a look in her saucer and sees Seraphina staring in the mirror and trying to talk to it.

Seraphina is asking the mirror to flatter her. T-Bag appears in it and tells her not to let the charm out of her sight.

Skipper and Debbie come back and Skipper distracts her by flattery whilst Debbie paints spots on her hand mirror. Once she has finished painting them, the Skipper changes his tune and starts pointing at Seraphina's face and telling her that she is breaking out in spots. Debbie agrees. Seraphina is offended and looks into her mirror. She sees her face covered in spots. Debbie tells her that she sould see a doctor. Debbie then tells the seasprite that the Skipper is a spot specialist. He tells her that she must have an allergy to either something that she has eaten or something that she is wearing. She takes off the charm and gives it to Debbie, whilst the Skipper rubs the spots off the mirror. Seraphina then asks for the mirror back to check to see if the spots have gone. They obviously have.

T-Bag checks in the saucer and sees that the S has gone from around Seraphina's neck. She goes to the sea bed and appears in front of Seraphina. She demands to know where the S is, and the sprite tells her that she gave it to Debbie because it was making her spotty. T-Bag is furious and zaps Debbie to give her a "spot the size of a sausage on the end of her silly nose". Debbie holds up the S and the spell backfires, giving T-Bag a big spot on her nose. T-Bag tells T-Shirt to do something, so he squeezes the spot, but T-Bag stops him. She then turns on Debbie and tells her that she will get her eventually. "And as for you, you snivvelling sourpuss," she says to Seraphina, "You're not beautiful at all! YOU'RE UGLY!". Seraphina is very hurt by this, so Debbie tells her it's not true. T-Bag goes back to the T-Room.

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