Monthly Archives: December 2010

A Poem Written in Response

This poem is a response to this poem, which you should read first.

I’m not sure why she is upset.

Not only did she have
an incredible morning
with Adam Levine
and Josh Bernstein,

I arranged to have
two cleaning ladies
come by and clean house.

I admit the timing
of the two gifts
went a little awry.

Letting her know
about the cleaning ladies
would have spoiled the surprise.

She should be grateful
for Adam, Josh
and the hired help.

Instead all I hear are complaints
about timing
and lack
of communication.

Prompted Poem

Poem based on this image

Ginger Top

The ginger freak
on the cliff’s edge
oblivious to the man
behind him
enraged with hatred
of communism
and all things red.
The only barrier
between him
and oblivion –
my vertigo.

Metric System: Odi et Amo

This entry originally appeared on December 30, 2004
. I am running a repeat because I’ve received complaints about the lack of posts here, and running repeats is an easy fix.


11.27 ≠ 12. Not in any mathematical universe I am aware of.

You might think, “What’s a mere .73? No one in their right minds would complain about so small a difference. But the difference is significant, trust me.

What am I talking about? Soda cans. The metric system steals .73 ounces from the loyal soda drinker. How? Simple. 1/3 of a liter = 11.27 ounces. It’s as close as they can get to the standard 12 oz US can in the metric system with a “logical” metric unit. They could have used .35 liters, which is 11.835 ounces, or even .36 liters, which is 12.173, which would have gifen the metric consumer a benefit. But neither 7/20 of a liter, nor 9/25 of a liter really make any sense. So they used 333 ml, or 1/3 of a liter.

These soda cans look small. If there was a six pack of 11.27 ounce cans next to a six pack of 12 ounce cans, I doubt there’s anybody on this earth who would buy the 11.27 ounce cans. (Assuming the price per ounce was equivalent.)

Sure…it’s kind of nice to know that 1 sixpack is exactly equivalent to a 2 liter bottle, but that’s about the only thing that can be said in its favor. (And the 2 liter bottle is a strange anomaly in the US…one of the few things we buy in metric units)

2 liters, by the way, is 67.628 Ounces. A US sixpack is 72 ounces. So there’s 4.372 extra ounces of soda in every US sixpack compared to a European Metric sixpack.

The significance of this difference was easily detectable on the grocery store shelves of the British Caribbean island I recently vacationed at by one fact alone: They sold beer in 12 oz cans. Your loyal beer drinker will absolutely refuse to accept anything less. Soda drinkers are forced to suffer.


* Multiplying and dividing by 10 is so easy.
* The French Revolutionary Calendar is a thing of beauty