Things About Dreams

Maybe it was the too-late at night dinner that we ate after nine o'clock when middle school softball finally got over. Maybe it was the clip from a some late night show where Emilia Clarke sang MMBop in dothraki. Maybe it was the fitful sleep from the day before, or the cumulative anxiety of trying to direct a herd of cats in a high school drama production. Who knows what it was, but I had the strangest dream a few weeks ago. I was riding a bicycle along a gravel road and I came across two loitering mountain lions. Both immediately decided that I was an excellent dinner-to-go option and I spent what felt like an eternity (in my dream) using my bike as a shield/weapon, flinging it at them and crouching behind it, while screaming incoherently until a car came along the road and scared them off. I woke up exhausted (in real life), with my arms and legs feeling like I had just scaled a cliff wall, and my voice hoarse from yelling. Dreams are funny things. Who knows where they come from, and who knows why... I do know that throughout the grueling ordeal I was in total control of the outcome, which is interesting since I willed the random car along just when my strength was gone. I suppose it's a metaphor for something, this dream, but I can't think for what.

I know for a fact that my dreams are usually jam-packed full of whatever it is I am longing for in my life but lacking... often a gallant hero with his strong manly arms around me... but occasionally a frantic hunt for a toilet and a dramatic sense of urgency. Lucky for me when I wake up from that one, the porcelain throne is just across the hall. The former situation finds no respite in real life awakening. It would be nice if I could dream about eating all night and wake up full, just like I wake up tired and sore after fighting imaginary cougars in my sleep all night. Then maybe I wouldn't want to eat all the day long and would actually break through this weight plateau that taunts me - but much like the dreamland romeo, this is a wish that will probably never be realized.

Sometimes I wish I had more control over the subject matter of my dreams, and not just the plot. But then again I think it's a fascinating glimpse into the recesses of my brain that I either cannot (or choose not to) access. Like for instance last night when I dreamt that for my birthday, my friends hired a cohort of ridiculously good-looking male celebrities to come to a party for me so that I could choose any one that I wanted to kiss. Obviously I bypassed Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt to lock lips with Bradley Cooper, who instantly fell madly in love with me for the rest of time. Or at least until I woke up. *Sigh*. The rest of the guys were nice enough to hang out with all my friends and family for some beer and laughs, even though none of them were the lucky recipient of my birthday kiss. Well, we can't all be winners, boys. And this is EXACTLY why we call them dreams.

It is almost compelling enough to give up all gainful occupation and resign myself to a strict sleeping schedule. Maybe I will find someone in my dreams to pay all of my bills too. Or I will just finally succumb to the treacherous mountain lion(s) or whatever they represent and won't have to worry about any of it. They say if you die in your dreams that you do in real life too, I wonder if I marry Bradley Cooper in dreamland if that would come true as well? Guess I don't know, yet...

cue next weird dream...