On Being a Wallflower and/or Basket Case

Please ignore the reference to a book hipsters adore.

Most people don’t enjoy being stared at. It makes them feel creeped out, disturbed, irked, or whatever other word you can use for that: Be poetic. Say flabbergasted for all I care. If you wanna have fun staring at something, go to the bloody zoo. How do you avoid getting stared at? Not having any physical quirks kinda helps with that (like this one guy I know who smiles like an idiot one minute and then walks like he’s about to punch someone’s lights out the next). Don’t make eye contact, don’t speak unless spoken to, and most importantly, do not talk about fight club…what?

Blending in with everybody else going about their days is how I avoid attracting unwanted attention. Just as well, because some people like having center stage so much that it's hazardous.

So not trying to be the centre of attention here...and yes. That's me.


Even more interesting is that when you’re not the centre of attention and just walk without talking to anybody, you notice little things about everything and everyone you pass and make tiny judgments on them. That’s a pretty cool mural. He looks like a show-off. She looks like a total bitch. Dear God, what’s that smell?! Why’s that guy looking at me like that? That’s ain't a nice look, bro! Call the cops!

...sorry you had to see that.

But why do I just walk around and not talk to anyone unless they talk to me? Is there a point to it? Well, not really. None that won’t make me sound like a loser, anyway. That’s not to say I don’t like talking to people. I do, but I’m better off being seen and not heard. I feel like if I utter even one small word, someone in the room is gonna pounce on me. Classic paranoia. I’m not one for conflict. I don’t like to argue because I usually don’t have a good enough point. Don’t point fingers at me. Stop looking at me! I’m gonna puke, man!

You hear that? That’s the hypocrite alarm on full blast. I don’t want or need attention? Then why the bloody hell am I writing a blog?! …did I mention I might have Asperger’s (pronounced “ass burgers”)?

Justin Bedard


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