Thứ Tư, 26 tháng 11, 2014

WARNING: dark jokes ahead

My girlfriend is into some really strange roleplay when we have sex. She always insists on pretending to be 14 years old. I don't get why, she'll be 14 in a couple of years anyway

Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHYYYY!!??". Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead"

A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it.

Q: What's the best part about dead baby jokes? A: They never get old.

Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race. ///

Q: What's the difference between Jews and Santa Claus? A: Santa comes down the chimney

Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? A: A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

Q: What do black people and bikes have in common? A: They stop working when you take the chains off

Q: What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? A: Fitting in.

Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: Name something commonly found in cells. Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer

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