Defending others vs. defending yourself.

I can’t stand injustice.

When I see it, I can’t stop myself from interfering.
Whether it’s bullying at school, a mean comment at work or someone trying to force their way to the front of the queue.

Suddenly my body and mind are supplied with an unexpected form of bravery.
I stand up tall and make sure everyone better watch the warrior I have become within the past second.

I always automatically choose the weaker side.
I’m not afraid to speak for them if they are afraid to do it themselves.
I don’t mind if the bully ends up insulting me.
I know I’m doing the right thing.

Because of this quality, one might think that it’s easy for stand up myself.

Unfortunately, this is nowhere near the truth.
I can’t remember not tearing up when treated unfairly.
I even accept the guilt they talk into me.
I end up being sad or angry for a long time.

People always look up to brave people.
Those who dare to defend themselves.
Showing vulnerability or emotions will hardly ever be rewarded with empathy.

What about you?
Are you brave enough to stand up for yourself?
Or are you more like me, not afraid to stand up for others, but when injustice happens to you, you break down in tears?


19 thoughts on “Defending others vs. defending yourself.

  1. I totally agree. Defending others happens on autopilot for me, my mouth engages before my brain processed what is happening. Yet, when you’re put in a position to defend yourself, it happens the other way, or if you do make an attempt at a defense, it’s so half hearted that it makes things seem even worse.

  2. It’s certainly never easy! It’s work in progress for me too 🙂
    Nobody should play unfair in the first place, then we shouldn’t even try! Unfortunately, that will not happen soon 😦

  3. I know exactly what you mean! When I try to defend myself, it makes things worse.
    I wish I could just give them indifferent or unimpressed face expression.
    But unfortunately, damn those onions!

  4. I hate injustice as well, but I don’t think I’m up for confrontations. I am not weak or anything but unlike you, I always keep my distance, I feel bad when someone is being bullied or treated unfairly but that’s it. I am not afraid to be bullied because I can defend myself, it’s just that, it’s hard when it’s other people.

  5. I understand what you mean.
    Interfering in such isn’t going to make life easier. But for me it’s just mechanism.

    That’s why in the past year I have been trying to shut myself off from people as much as possible.
    But when I didn’t join for lunch, I heard people talking about me “aren’t we good enough for her that she doesn’t want to have lunch with us”.
    *Rolling my eyes*

  6. Ha ha ha! Well,whatever you do, people will have a say in everything. I mean, it sucks right, when you try to do the right thing, but, people just wouldn’t understand and you’re being misunderstood.

  7. It is the opposite for me in this case. I have always stood up for myself and it’s hard for me to put up with any sort of crap from anyone if I feel like they are insulting or saying something mean. I will say something right away and the person usually backs off. If I don’t I usually feel bad for myself later which is what i try to avoid.

    I think this is from years of being ‘nice’ throughout school years and not saying anything to anyone, suddenly my switch flipped in college & now this is how I am.

    When it comes to standing up for others, i have a hard time assuming they need help. If they ask me, I will gladly help. It may not be the right assumption, but I assume, they are capable of dealing with their problems and if not they will ask.

    You are brave though standing up for others. What makes you not do the same for yourself you think?

  8. I’m very happy to hear that you’ve always stood up for yourself!
    I’ve absorbed too much bullshit from others and it has made me bitter and given me anxiety.

    I always wanted to say back something, but before I can, I just tear up. I can’t help it I’m afraid.

    But when I see someone in the same situation as I have often been, it makes my blood boil.
    I’m not sure if they need or want my help. But I never had anyone standing up for me, but I wish someone did.
    I guess that’s why I do it.

  9. I really like that you stand up for others! 🙂 I feel like differences between people is what is meant to be cherished. If everyone is the same, there will be no balance. We need both types of people 🙂

  10. I never back down from sticking up for others but there are times when I believe a putdown to myself so I can’t really stand up for myself. Sometimes I can pretend to be unhurt but always, I am.

  11. I think that’s important to remember as well. A person might seem tough, but everyone can be hurt by mean words from others no matter how untouched they seem!

  12. Omg I am the same. Anytime I feel the need to defend myself- waterworks. I am such a sensitive little baby! Lol

  13. Defending others, especially younger people comes naturally to me. I am a NYCDOE public school teacher so I am always trying to defend my kids, or kids in general. Its second nature to me!

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