Nanny #1

So, our nanny called in sick on her second day.

We get this phone call at 7:00am Tuesday and she's all like," I have a 100...a 100 a...I don't know how to say it in English but it’s over 100 fever and I don't think I should be around the kids. I'll work Friday to make up for it.”

Argh..if we are going to pay someone to raise our children so we don't have to, they need to be reliable.

This was on top of her not being able to make our first meeting because her car broke down on the highway. The car breaking down excuse was a red flag but we let it slide. How often do cars just "break down" nowadays?...especially in the summer. Why aren't people more creative,"Hey, like I'm getting an abortion this morning so I'll have to come a few hours late. Do you have plastic covers for the furniture?"

She was supposed to work Thursday but I left "bad nanny" a message that we were reconsidering using her and not to come. We actually already decided to kick her to the curb but I didn't want to leave that in a vmail.

The way I see this playing out is I'll call her to come over. I'll sit behind my desk and lodge questions and insults at her one after another until she sees the situation as hopeless. Then, I'll pronounce, "YOU'RE FIRED". ..and do this snake thing with my hand like Donald Trump does. The meeting will finish off with me shouting "Now get out of here!"

Anna says that would be mean but I need to yell,"You're Fired!" at one person in my life and this might be the only opportunity I get.

The other option is to pull a lever and have her fall through a trap door but I'd have to build a trap door and what would I do with the body?

We do have some options.

Our cleaning person is interested so we may hire our cleaning person to be the nanny and then ask the current nanny to be the cleaning person. If you are not from a big city that last sentence sounds totally retarded.



Dot said…
the donald trump idea is pretty awesome but you could try lighting torches in the yard (one for each new nanny being interviewed). Then as one gets dismissed from "baby island", the torch could be put on Survivor. But don't make the nannies eat bugs and wear skimpy outfits.....they may get cold or sick.
Anonymous said…
It is amazing to me that you seek to treat her so badly yourself. Did you ever consider that you may be as rude as she is by doing this? In fact, you could be the reason why she did not want to make it to your house in the first place.

I find it incredible that you are so excited to fire someone and to wave your finger at her.

What if she actually did have these issues?