RADIOACTIVE (XO SPN, D/L, Mature) Epilogue 1/24


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Re: RADIOACTIVE (XO SPN, D/L, Mature) Chap.30 7/20

Postby MelissaD » Sun Jul 20, 2014 1:34 am

Chapter Thirty

New Year’s Day 2013

“How long did you seriously think you could hide from me Sam? I mean really, you Winchesters are so damn predictable it’s adorable.” The hand reached out towards Sam’s head as Isabel and Liz stared on, screaming for Sam to say no while two men wrapped their hands around their throats. Sam couldn’t tear his eyes off of them. Lucifer frowned, “I know it’s awful, isn’t it? They’re just too beautiful to waste Sam. Let’s just end all the nastiness, shall we? Just say yes and it will all be over, they will be free and all your other friends can go on living their lives.”

Isabel and Liz’s screams were cut off as the hands around their throats squeezed tighter. Sam closed his eyes, “Yes.”

Liz shot up in bed, her arms attacking invisible enemies around her. Dean woke coughing from a punch to the gut. His eyes immediately went to Liz who was sitting up, drawing in air like she was suffocating. “Liz?” She turned wild eyes on him then started crying quietly. “Shit.” He sat up and pulled her to him. “It’s okay.” With her head buried in his neck, he felt her wrap her arms around him and grip like she had no plans of letting go anytime soon. He waited patiently for her breathing to go back to normal then spoke softly. “You need to talk about it. You need to tell me. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me. You’ve been going crazy recently.”

She slid down slowly to rest her cheek on his chest and started talking. “He takes him. Every time.. he takes him and there’s nothing I can do.”

He buried his hand in her hair and massaged her head. “You’re stressing way too much about it. You said yourself you can’t force it. You want another premonition so badly but haven’t gotten any more information so you’ve just been freaking out anytime something resembles the little information you have. It’s getting out of hand.”

“But it’s all I have, it’s the only way I can..”

“You tensing up and becoming the watcher anytime we are having a good time isn’t going to change anything. All you’re doing is stressing yourself and everyone else out. Hell, last night once you realized everyone was laughing and having a great night you freaked and started checking the windows and taking walks outside to check out the perimeter. You somehow thought no one would notice and then you almost got sick because you were worrying that last night would be the night. How can we fight anything when we’re so run down we can’t see straight? You were the one that taught us that. We got this far and I think we’re still one step up, so if that’s the best we’ve got then good. One more middle finger at him. Maybe we can stay under long enough that we simply outrun him so to speak. His vessel will break down at some point and he won’t be able to get another one. Hell, that could’ve happened all ready.”

Liz stayed quiet listening to him rant on with his concern over her. She thought about how Isabel had been holding Sam tighter, making touches last longer. She simply never wanted to let him go anywhere without her recently and Liz couldn’t blame her. She listened to Dean’s concern for her and mourned the fact that Isabel was going through the same thing except her concern, her fear was far worse. They would all lose Sam when Lucifer found him but it would be the hardest on her. Liz knew what that pain felt like and she didn’t want Isabel to have to go through it again but all the premonitions she’s had say that it will happen at some point. Dean’s logic may have sounded great but she felt deep within her that Lucifer probably already took on a few different vessels making his way towards Sam. It was only a matter of time that he would find him and take him. So why was she wasting all this energy on figuring out the when? She needed to figure out how she would get him back. “I guess if anyone could pull that off, it’s the Winchesters.”

He chuckled, “yeah, the Winchesters with the help of fucking aliens. Don’t forget that. Okay half aliens whatever but it’s a pretty important part.”


MARCH 2013

Liz, Dean, Michael, Kyle, Ava, and Zan sat around the dining room table playing poker. At least trying to play poker as they were all messing around. Maria and Serena walked into the room with popcorn on their way into the living room to watch a movie. Maria glanced at the cards in Michael's hand as she strolled through. She smiled then continued towards the doorway to the living room, "what's taking Sam and Isabel so long? They were just supposed to pick up some movies."

Serena glanced at Kyle's cards then whispered into his ear. Michael tapped the table as Dean fixed Serena with a glare, "no cheating!"

Kyle winked at Serena and grinned at the guys, "please, she was just implying that we might take some time to get lost like Isabel and Sam later tonight." He wiggled his brows as Dean and Michael laughed.

Liz and Maria made gagging sounds. "Come on! Kyle we don't need to hear that!" Maria shrieked throwing popcorn at him.

Zan turned to Ava with a mischievous grin. Zan said in a high pitched voice, "but Sam we were supposed to get movies.."

Ava smirked as she put her cards face down on the table and jumped in his lap. Ava deepened her voice, "nobody will even notice we’re gone baby."

Dean frowned, "my brother doesn't talk like some cheap porno woman!"

Michael cleared his throat, "ahem. There are children present."

Everyone's curious gazes turned to Michael who tilted his head towards Liz. Laughter broke out as Liz realized he was gesturing towards her. "What?! YOU'RE THE CHILD, GUERIN!"

Dean's hand snaked under the table to her thigh giving her a squeeze. Her eyes snapped to his and he winked. A grin slipped onto her face as she got off her chair and mounted dean’s lap knocking his cards to the floor. Her lips took his possessively as her hands went into his hair. Once over his shock, his hands slid up her back into her hair as the cat calls went off around the table. Maria quipped, "child nothing. That's how you make a child, chika!"

"Alright alright, we get it! Come on we're playing a serious card game here!!" Kyle banged the table with his fist unable to hide his large grin.
Maria heard the front door swing open and stuck her head into the living room yelling towards the front of the house, "about time guys!!" But when Isabel stumbled through the front door the mirth dropped from Maria's face. "Oh my god."

Those three words changed the air in the dining room immediately. Chairs clattered to the floor as bodies stood abruptly, Liz and Ava awkwardly jumped off their partner’s laps in haste to see what had Maria so shaken. Maria and Serena were the closest to the living room and made it to an ashen Isabel first. They moved her over to the couch as Kyle looked out the front door. "Where's Sam?"

Dean froze at his words and his eyes snapped to Isabel catching her terrified gaze and getting his first good look at her face. Blood dribbled from her forehead and lip and she shook like a leaf even though she looked like she was trying to hold it together as best as she could. Dean saw the apology in her eyes and moved to her slowly, kneeling in front of her he quietly spoke, "what was it?"

Her lips trembled as her head shook side to side slightly and her eyes dropped from his, "not what.." Her blue eyes came up to his filled with tears, "who."

Liz’s back stiffened at her words, knowing immediately that she would confirm her fears. A movement that was missed by everyone fixated on Isabel. Dean’s eyes widened, "Lucifer?"

Isabel’s lip quivered again as she quickly inhaled air, "he didn't have a choice. Lucifer had a demon.. one hand on my head and one hand on my throat. He said if Sam didn't say yes I'd only be the first he'd watch and he wouldn't make it fast. Then he'd move on to the rest of us.. one by one.." A few tears slipped down her cheeks, "he gave this address.. said he'd rip all of us to pieces until Sam said it. I tried my best against the demon but Lucifer was faster, his ability surprised me." Her eyes found Castiel, “how does he still have any power? I don’t understand?”

The room fell into silence as they stood transfixed by Isabel's story. Kyle whispered into Cas’s ear who stared at Isabel in apology. Dean laid a steady hand on Isabel's shaking one bringing her eyes to his. His eyes burned confidence while his insides were screaming. Liz laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder then sat next to Isabel. "It's okay Izzy. We're going to get him back." Her eyes turned to Dean, fierce and determined. "We will get him back." She looked into his eyes and knew he was taking it all on his shoulders. Exactly what he had been telling her not to do for months. He was the one who told her they could beat it, that she had no reason to worry, had gotten her to relax, at least a little. But she wasn’t worrying about staying a step ahead, she may have wondered off into that territory once or twice but recently her focus was set on the one thing she knew they could beat. She knew there was a way to save him and that’s exactly what they were going to do. No matter what.
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Re: RADIOACTIVE (XO SPN, D/L, Mature) Chap.31 8/12

Postby MelissaD » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:02 am

Holy crap.. Definitely thought I had posted this last week.. or maybe it was the week before.. :shock:
Okay.. so I never even thought this story would turn out this long. I originally figured it'd be a short one like Drifter playlist but it definitely spun itself way different than I had thought. Good news is I've got the next few chapters written out and just need to go through it with a bit of editing because I've had another story nagging in my head and I was writing bits of it out. So I should be able to post once a week *fingers crossed* for the next couple of weeks since we're vacationing at my parent's house until the end of August. (I love my parents.. and they are excellent babysitters for me to get some real free time in. :D )

HypnotiqBlueEyes: Lucifer and aliens.. Isabel.. Those will all be touched on in the coming chapters! :) Good memory.. haha the pregnancy isn't known yet but just might be a little present in the coming chapters. :wink:

Chapter Thirty One
July 2013

Liz woke in the middle of the night once again from her dream world nightmares. She checked on Dean, finding him still peacefully sleeping or at least as peaceful as one could get in their situation. She slipped quietly out of bed and eased into her running shoes knowing it was her best option to tip toe around the house without making much noise. She made it to the kitchen without bumping into anyone in the dark, grabbed a drink, then out the front door. Once outside she felt the chill run up her back and easily scanned the area. She knew the chill well now feeling it almost every single time she left a room much less left the house. She told herself this time was most likely from walking outside into the slight night breeze but there was no safe anymore, not since Sam was taken. In her darker moments, safe was just a nice word people made up to lie to themselves or to help them cope, either way she was starting to feel like a duped child. Was there really ever such a thing as safe?

Liz shook her head as she forced her feet to start the path she had taken many times in the last few months. Her path went twice around the house, once close to the house staying in the shadows and another circle around further out to cover her bases. They had already installed two perimeter sensors and they hadn’t exactly made a schedule to scout or patrol the area again, it just came naturally. As she walked, sipping from her water bottle, she wondered where Sam was and if he was awake at all. Often times she felt this odd sensation that she asked herself if it was possibly Sam trying to get her attention. Isabel’s question to Cas the night Sam was taken had stuck with her. She had worked it out in her head that it was the type of angel that Lucifer was that helped him keep his powers while, from what little they knew, all the others had fizzled out like Castiel. An Arch angel was more powerful on a normal basis, could it be a built in failsafe that when the host of heaven fell the power would revert to the eldest brothers? And if Lucifer was still kicking around where was Michael? Ever since Zachariah quit knocking, Dean hadn’t heard a thing and she knew he was thinking about it recently. She could see it on his face. She also suspected he was wondering if he could call him for help because he was definitely hiding something from her that involved angels.

Aliens and angels, the bane of her existence. It was funny really. The two things that most people swear up and down are fake were the two very things that made up her nightmares. Well, not exactly true, the ones that believe in angels are just sadly mistaken about their true nature. Hell.. the same goes for UFO nuts too. She kicked a rock as she continued moving through the dark.

Liz wished Lucifer hadn’t chosen Sam. Seeing his face over and over in her dreams twisted in a smile that was not Sam’s then witnessing him killing his brother was more than cruel and unusual torture. It was sad that some nights as the nightmare played out, she’d watch his face and feel close to Sam. She hoped that maybe he could feel her next to him telling him to hold on, telling him that she would never stop. Other nights she was staring at everything around them, looking for as much information as she could get to pinpoint where they were because frankly she just couldn't bear to watch or listen again.

Liz came to the garage and opened the door. After letting herself in and closing the door behind her, she made her way to the back corner of the old barn. Climbing up the ladder built into the wall, she pulled herself up to the small room. There wasn’t much to it and she didn’t know what it was used for before they moved there but now it was her work room. The back wall, hidden from sight unless one bothered to come up there, was covered in drawings Liz had made. The papers littering the floor by the wall were covered in scribbles, notes she had made of the type of tree, bushes, the building that stood in the background of her visitation with that Sam. The location could’ve been a handful of states so she had been trying to get a name or even purpose for the building. It was the only thing she had that could give her a real location and she was nowhere near finding anything about it. She tried telling herself she wasn’t a miracle worker, she couldn’t force information that didn’t want to be known.

She stood in front of the wall staring at her dreamworld in black and white and could smell the sulfur and smoke that lingered in the air. She felt drawn back into that dark but light garden and she tried to skip past the breaking of Dean’s neck and to the other Dean that came into the dream. The one that had “come a long way”, she still got stuck on that. Why did Lucifer say that to him? She shivered slightly with how close to real it felt when she stood there, right down to the smirk on Sam’s face. She often wondered why that appeared when she had stretched the dream or why she stretched him in at all. She heard a noise and spun quickly.

Isabel stood slack jawed at the beginning of the loft area, her eyes wide and full of shock. Liz was scrambling to figure out what to say. “Iz.. I..” But Isabel wasn’t staring at her, her eyes were fixed to the drawing on the wall and she slowly started to walk towards it. Liz watched her quietly.

Isabel made it the wall in front of Sam and touched his face as a tear fell from her chin. “What is this?”

Liz came next to her. “It’s my dream. I’ve been trying to figure out where it is so I drew as best as I could.”

Isabel looked at Liz, “this is amazing. It looks just like him.”

Liz turned red, “I just needed to get everything out so I could locate it. I’m still nowhere near an answer but I know this is where we see him again.” Liz looked at the area she had pinned to the wall and touched a rose behind Sam.

Isabel looked at the other parts of the wall then squinted at the other figure. “Is that Dean?”

Liz nodded, “yes. We’re not in the dream. Only Dean. He confronts him.” She kept the more confusing part of her dream to herself.

“We’re going to get him back. We’ve done things I’ve never thought we could, we can do this.”

Liz heard the desperation in Isabel’s voice and touched her shoulder. “We will. It’s only a matter of time until I have a location and we’ll have our Sammy back.” But as soon as she said it, she wondered if that could possibly be true. How does one survive being possessed by Lucifer?

“Does anyone know about this?” Isabel turned to Liz and wiped her cheeks. The familiar mask fell back into place.

Liz knew it was her coping mechanism and she didn’t blame her. She figured she’d do the same in Isabel’s place. Liz took a deep breath and shook her head, “no. I didn’t want a ton of questions I couldn’t answer.”

Isabel nodded, “sorry for barging in. I was coming back from a run and saw you slip in here. I thought maybe talking to someone might help me get some sleep.”

Liz smiled, “anytime. Maybe we’ll just keep this to ourselves for a bit.”

Isabel nodded and took a step back trying to take in the whole scene. “A rose garden?”

Liz looked back to her sketch. “Yea, he goes on about the beauty in his father’s creation.”

Isabel snorted, “he doesn’t seem to have a problem burning it to the ground.”

Liz watched the hard edge slip over Isabel’s face and she had a flash of the old premonitions she had so long ago of a raging war and it’s unwanted but willing participants. What war was she really seeing? She had always thought it was Khivar’s but she knew better now. Had it always been Lucifer behind the war that Max had been trying to stop? All we did was change the details, not the problem. Does anyone really know all the details? Could she really fix anything even if she did find out where this was? Then Lucifer’s words played in her head. “Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here.” Liz’s eyes darted back to the sketch of Sam and her mouth dropped open, “holy shit.”

Isabel looked away from Sam’s face on the wall and turned towards Liz, “what?”

Liz looked to the picture of a partially drawn Dean on the wall. “I think this may have been another time. I think this may have been one of Dean’s other timelines.”

Isabel’s face screwed up, “what?”

“Like Future Max coming and changed this time to try to fix ours? Future Max thought he could stop the end of the world by keeping Tess around and the four of you would be able to defeat Khivar. It’s been driving me crazy since we found out that Khivar wasn’t even leading that charge. The fact that the group that came with Khivar wasn’t that strong has gotten me thinking recently if it was Lucifer the whole time and we just didn’t know any better.”

Isabel’s eyes grew round. “Holy Shit is right. But wait.. then how do you know this will even happen now?”

Liz looked back at Isabel, “in the dream another Dean appears and I couldn’t figure it out but we’re never there. I think this is another timeline.. one that maybe Cas sent Dean too."

"Cas sent dean to the future? Why?"

"I don't know. He sent him to the past once to save his parents. Maybe this was a different past. Maybe Cas sent Dean here to learn something or to see Sam. I don't know."

"Then how do you know this will happen?"

"Because it will always happen. No matter what you do to alter things, you will always end up here. But if he doesn't end up there alone maybe he won't die. Maybe both of them can survive. We just need to find out where the hell this is!"

Isabel and Liz looked at the picture again. Isabel asked quietly, “have you thought about showing Dean? Maybe getting his take on it?”

Liz stared at the picture and saw Sam’s foot snapping Dean’s neck, the crack echoing in her ear. “Maybe. Just not right away. I’ll think about it.”

“What? Why?”

“I just need.. a little bit of time to figure out some answers to questions I know he will ask.”

Isabel touched Liz’s shoulder, “what is it? I know that look Liz.”

Liz looked at her friend, “in the dream Sam kills him.”

Isabel watched her for a second before her eyes moved back to the picture of Sam. She knew Liz wasn’t just thinking about herself but what that would do to Sam if Lucifer used his own body to kill his brother. “Don’t take too long though. We’ll need every advantage we can get.”

A few days later.

It was midday and the activity in the house was completely opposite from the early hours Liz often spent on what she considered her shift since her body always seemed to wake her. Around this time of day, Liz was almost the only quiet one. She was sitting in an overstuffed chair in her favorite spot by the living room window. She sat gazing out letting her mind roam while the noise around her was completely drowned out by her ever spinning thoughts. Suddenly, she was surrounded by his scent and then his arms slipped down and covered her own. She felt his scruff scratch around her ear, "what's got that brain of yours taking all my time?"

She tried to smile but failed. "Just.. this dream I keep having but it doesn't make any sense. The one with.. Sam."

Dean easily lifted her from the chair and took her seat placing her in his lap. She pressed her back into his chest and let his arms enfold her. “What is it that you’re keeping from me?”

Liz took a deep breath, breathing him in as she dropped her head back on his shoulder then rolled her head in so that her forehead touched his chin. “I keep seeing him kill you.” She whispered.

“Sam? I mean he’s got some inches on me but I don’t think it’ll happen.” He chuckled but she knew he wasn’t fooling even himself.

“I’m serious. I watch him put his stupid shiny white loafer on your neck and..” Her voice dropped, “pop.”

“Wait.. what?”

“He snaps your neck, separates your spine from the base of your sku..”

“No, I got that. The thing you said about his shoe.. Liz. Was he in a rose garden?”

Liz sat up and looked at him with her brow furrowed, “how did you know that?”

“Zachariah. He sent me on some stupid vision quest bullshit to try to get me to say yes to Michael. I thought he just made it up.” He shrugged. “But since you’re seeing it maybe..”

“Zachariah sent you to the future and you saw Sam killing you?”

Dean pulled her back to his chest and ran his hand through her hair. “Well, I saw him kill the version of me that was living in that future. I found their little camp while trying to find Bobby and came face to face with a dick version of me. Cas was there too, a little like he is now only high on whatever pills he could get his hands on and wasted on whatever alcohol he could find. Things were worse, we didn’t stop the croatoan virus and things had really gone to shit. That version of myself had spent years without Sam and he spent them looking for the Colt. He found it and led some of the people there along with Cas into some compound as bait while he went around back to find that the Colt couldn’t do shit.”

“Didn’t you try the colt?”

“Yeah because I didn’t know that he got the chance to use it. I thought he just didn’t get the jump on the guy.”

“So, why do you think I keep seeing it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t even know any of the people that I saw in that.. whatever it was. Except for Cas. I didn’t see any of you guys there either so Zachariah must’ve made the whole thing up.”

Liz shook her head, “not necessarily. Future max came back and we changed our timeline, because Zachariah showed you that future I’m sure you made decisions that changed yours. There are so many variables but I know my timeline is completely different from what it should have been because of what Future Max and I did. Some things remained the same, like the end of the world still started just minus two people that were supposed to be here and of course the information I know now, Future Max had no idea what was really going on in the first place.”

“Well, I’m not an asshole who would sacrifice his friends for a shot at the devil so I’m thankful for the future being different. I know it sounds bad but I can’t say I don’t like having you either.”

Liz chuckled, “I know what you’re trying to say.” She sat up again, “wait, do you remember where the compound was? Where Asshole Dean took his friends to die?”

He thought about it, “some nut house I think.”

“Do you know when?”

“What does that matter?”

“Because if we can figure out the where and when then at least we’ve got something to go off of. Do you remember what Lucifer said to you? About the choices you make?” She saw it in his eyes and the stubbornness on his face. “If he was right then it would be the only time we’d know where he is.”

“It was 2014. Damnit.. Zachariah had a newspaper at one point and I’m sure someone else probably said something but I don’t remember.” Liz looked out the window and Dean watched as her brow scrunched together and she bit her lip gently. He knew that look, she was already jumping forward with who knew how many lines of thought. “Hey.” He touched her cheek turning her face to his. “We’ll figure it out.”

Her eyes brightened, “I think Serena might be able to help. She used to do some hypnosis stuff.”

“Are you kidding me?”

She smiled and grabbed his face, “we could do this. We could get your brother back.”

He could practically feel the hope spring up in her. He couldn’t knock her down with the doubts in his mind, with all the things that they didn’t have so he just smiled. “Yeah, we could.”
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Re: RADIOACTIVE (XO SPN, D/L, Mature) Chap.32 8/20

Postby MelissaD » Wed Aug 20, 2014 2:46 pm

neese78: Thank you! lol spongebob.. I'm not going to lie sometimes that happens to me too! :D SOOO excited for the new season of Supernatural!!! I was watching the panels and interviews from this year's comic con and it sounds so awesome! **SPOILER ALERT** :twisted: Do not read on if you are not up to date with the show and wish to go on the roller coaster ride that has been the last couple of seasons. And in my honest opinion If you have Netflix and the time- DO IT! Totally worth it because I love what Jeremy Carver has been doing. **SPOILERY STUFF** I thought post purgatory Dean was fantastic so I'm beyond excited to see Demon Dean.. I kinda think it's going to be Season 1 Dean on steroids.. and by steroids I mean unburdened by his humanity. Dean has always been ruled by his virtues so this should be really interesting!! **END SPOILERY STUFF**

Okay I need to stop myself from going into everything! :lol:

Chapter Thirty Two

November 2013. Boston, Ma.

We’ve settled in the new safe house just outside of Boston but it just doesn’t feel like home. Fall is in full effect but the toll of the past couple of months is sucking the beauty out of it. I’d like to say it’s because we’re not all together but I know that wouldn’t be completely true. We thought we were onto Lucifer three times and found nothing but a nest of demons. After the last one two weeks ago, Isabel almost lost it.. Isabel completely lost it. There is no way to put what happened lightly. She had taken out the five demons we found with the release of her frustration that had been building up inside her after every miss. Isabel needed time and no one could blame her but really no one would say no to her. None of us wanted her to go off on her own either but that was also something no one would actually say to her face. Serena was the first to speak up and surprised some of us with her stating that she was joining her. Isabel just nodded. Except for short messages every other day we haven’t heard from them. I’m sure Kyle probably hears from Serena more, at least maybe I just hope he does. I don’t know why I feel responsible for them being apart but then I haven’t been able to identify or erase the feeling of responsibility for Isabel and Sam being separated either.

Everyone has been on edge since Isabel came home without Sam. The loss of someone in our tight group so quickly just can’t be blocked out no matter how hard anyone tries. He was such a big part of all of our lives that we couldn’t go very long before missing whatever part of ourselves that he had helped or touched or influenced.. then we have no power over our thoughts turning darker. I see it in Zan and Ava's shared looks, I hear it in Kyle's laugh and Maria's ramblings, I sense it behind both Michael and Dean's soldier's facade, and I even feel it in Cas's brooding. It’s almost overwhelming the kind of vacuum it creates. Maybe I blocked out most of that time but I don’t remember it being so hard after Max was gone. Then again things were very different when Max was taken. We didn’t really know what would happen but I think in the back of all our minds we thought that being the former king would give him some safety. With Sam, we know what Lucifer is doing and we know Sam is trapped inside. With every month that passes we know that Sam could be losing his hold and it chips away at the hope that we will make it there in time to save him. Some days it hits me so hard I can’t breathe.

Dean has been taking cases more just to do something he can succeed at. Michael and Kyle were going with him then recently Zan has started going as well. Some days I honestly wonder if one day Dean won’t come back. Now that I think about it.. airing those thoughts to Ava is probably the reason Zan has been going with them.

I get Dean’s frustration, I do and I blame myself because I was the one asking about his future jump that Zachariah sent him on. When he couldn’t remember the important facts those memories held, I know he felt he was the one who was failing his brother. When I try talking with him about it he just shakes his head and says he knows, he understands it’s not all on his shoulders but I know when he’s just telling me what I want to hear. It kills me even more and I don't know whether I should call him out on it or just let it go but the latter wins every time.

He’d been meeting with Serena once a week before she left to try the hypnosis and sometimes it drudged up memories he’d rather forget instead of delving into the ones we need but still he kept forging ahead. Every time there was this feeling of pride that rose in me and I wasn’t sure how he would take it if I told him. Instead I just tried to be mindful about supporting him and giving him attention through even the littlest things like a touch here and there. I don’t know if he gets it but I know from the smile that touches his face that he knows I’m here for him and seeing that smile makes my day. I think I have a harder time thinking about what that really means.

Liz frowned and closed her journal and shoved the cap on her pen. She opened the drawer in her nightstand and dropped her journal and pen in then pushed it closed. She rose from the bed, wrapping her blanket around her shoulders for the added warmth as she walked to the window. She looked out at the street glistening from the light rain. She wished to see the beauty like she used to but all she saw were the shadowy corners and what could possibly be hiding there. She pictured her and Dean running down the street last week. Even though he had protested the whole way he had gone on the run with her. The early morning sun was shining down on her but it didn’t help much on such a cold morning. She pressed her forehead against the cool glass and felt herself swim in the memory as if she was out running on that road again.

She felt the cool air brush against her face as she pulled the zipper up closing her running jacket.

“I really don’t see why you feel the need to run when you’re not being chased.” He groaned as he jogged alongside her.

She glanced up at him, “it’s so I can run when I need to. Quit looking at my ass.” She chuckled when he slowed slightly to full on stare.

“I think we both know you can run when you need too.” He lengthened his stride for a few paces to be alongside her again.

“I can because I make sure I keep myself in shape. I don’t need to pull a muscle or something at the worst time because I’ve gotten lazy and haven’t worked them out. If you want we could always make it more.. realistic.”

He raised his brow, “how so?”

“If you catch me, you can have me.” She took off like the gun had been shot and the race began.

Dean looked confused for a second as he watched her take off then the words seem to finally take meaning and he took off after her. “Why you gotta cheat at the start Parker?”

Liz laughed as she glanced over her shoulder, “I didn’t want to hurt your manly feelings by killing you without an excuse!”

“You play dirty.” He reached out almost touching her back.

She didn’t bother turning around knowing how close he was by the pounding sneakers behind her. “Let that be your motivation.” She smiled when she heard the messed up rhythm of footsteps. She glanced over her shoulder and laughed seeing the amount of ground he had lost. He looked at her and focused then sped up. She screamed and laughed as she faced forward and pushed herself faster.

“You better be scared!”

“At least now you won’t complain that I’m not being chased!” She laughed and Dean’s fingers swiped her backside.

“I would’ve caught you already but I’ve got a great view back here.”

“You suck at this game!”

They rounded the corner and just as Liz had made it to the front yard Dean got a piece of her shirt in his fingers then wrapped his arm around her waist causing them both to lose their footing and tumble to the ground. Liz laughed as they came to a stop, complete with dirt and grass stains with leaves sticking every which way in their hair. Dean smiled as he leaned over her. Her laughter tapered off. “I guess you caught me.”

“Now I can have you.” His eyes fell to her lips and she felt the breath catch in her chest as he lowered himself to her.

A knock at the door sucked Liz out of the memory making her jump away from the window. “Knock knock Lizzie.” Liz turned and saw Maria sticking her head inside the room.

“Hey ria.” Liz gave her a small smile as she tried to hide her deep breathing.

“Can’t sleep?” Maria walked over to the bed and sat down patting her lap. “Neither can I. Always the last day before they’re supposed to come home.”

Liz climbed on the bed and laid her head on Maria’s lap. “That’s because it’s usually the night they’re actually fighting whatever it is they’re chasing.”

Maria ran her hand through Liz’s hair. “Heard from Serena or Isabel today?”

Liz appreciated the change in subject. She needed to get her head out of that mess it was climbing towards. “No. Maybe tomorrow. It’s been a couple of days.”

“Three without a word. Hopefully they’re on the way here. Maybe they got our message at the P.O. Box and decided to just head this way.”

Liz nodded. “Sometimes I’m afraid she’ll try to go after him when she gets a small clue from her dreamwalk. The only thought I have to dash that is the fact that she could rarely get in before they left. But that’s just what she told me, I don’t know if it was the whole truth.”

“I think it is and that’s what really frustrates her. At least when they were gone she could still check in on him that way. Now.. not being able to see him or talk to him. God.. I can’t even imagine.” Liz could hear the catch in her voice.

“Yeah, she never did like him being out of reach.” Liz moved to Dean’s pillow, “you want to sleep in my bed tonight?”

Maria smiled, “I thought you’d never ask.” She got up and switched the light off then laid down facing Liz. The soft light coming from Dean’s bedside lamp giving the room a gentle glow. “Do you think we’ll actually be able to survive this one?”

Liz rolled to her back and looked at the ceiling. “I don’t know, ria. I really don’t know.”

The next morning, Maria walked into her room closing the door behind her as she threw herself on the bed. She grabbed her phone and opened her texts with Michael. She smiled at the last message from him saying goodnight and that he loved her. She taped reply and started filling the empty reply box.

I think you were right. She’s making something about them more complicated. You don’t think its her.. I don’t know fear of loving something again? I know how hard it was after Max and I have no idea how I would be if I lost you.. but to push away any chance at happiness by fearing it?

She hit send and stared at her phone for a few minutes. A thought flipped through her mind, what if he never sees this message because last night.. She immediately dismissed the idea. She couldn’t lose Michael, not now. The sound of her own sharp gasp almost scared her. She whispered to the quiet room, “I think I just answered my own question. She’s not afraid of happiness.. she’s afraid of what takes over when that’s ripped away from her. Oh god.. how could I have been so stupid.” Her brow scrunched together. “But we’re all afraid of losing each other.. so what the hell is she hiding?” Maria glanced at the door and frowned. Would Liz really hide something from them? She was pretty sure she knew the answer to that one too.
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Re: RADIOACTIVE (XO SPN, D/L, Mature) Chap.33 9/2

Postby MelissaD » Tue Sep 02, 2014 1:34 pm

Who knew starting school would be such a hard thing for the parent? Maybe it's just because I've always been a night owl.. I'm as bad as my kid at getting up early.. I see my school years flashing in my mind and see a long road with my sons being just like me! :lol:

Chapter Thirty Three
*Lyrics for ‘Here I go again’ by Whitesnake underlined.*

March 2014. Boston, Ma.
The dreams have gotten worse. I thought when I started becoming involved that it would be a good thing but the first time Lucifer looked at me, actually looked at me I was terrified. I thought he had somehow gotten into my head but from what I can tell he didn’t. Maybe it was a premonition but I was so scared I can’t rely on my judgment. He looked at me and looked confused or maybe surprised. He tilted his head and kept watching me maybe wondering what I was doing there or what I would do but I kept waking up. About a month ago it changed again, he talked to me about saving Sam.

Recently, the last thing I hear before I wake up is him asking, “did you really think you could beat me Parker?” Every night for a week I’ve been waking with those words echoing in my ears and it feels like a threat. The whole thing felt like a premonition but the dreams have been so many different versions of that one moment that I don’t know if I know how to judge anymore. Sometimes I see Dean, Michael, Kyle, and Zan and sometimes I see Isabel and Ava but I never really get to see if those different combinations mean anything or create different results because everything is always so muddled but it always ends with Lucifer’s question. Last night.. I thought I woke up but I woke up in Sam’s arms and it was really Sam. He was crying and holding me in his arms. I couldn’t move or talk and I couldn’t seem to do anything to get his attention. When I realized what that meant, I finally snapped awake. It just added to my already terrifying level of fear that I can’t save him and morphed that fear into something else because maybe the fact is I can’t save him and everyone else too.

Liz finally built up the strength and composure to head downstairs. She knew Dean was back by the sight of his boots and jacket in their room. She vaguely remembered him kissing her and talking to her in the middle of the night but she was just too out of it. She went into the kitchen for coffee and was lucky that a fresh pot was put on but no one was in the kitchen. She grabbed a mug and poured herself a cup adding her sugar and creamer to her taste then sipped slowly as she walked out of the kitchen. She decided to check the living room and found Dean lying on the couch with Serena in a chair nearby talking to him. Dean’s eyes were closed so she had an idea that they were trying another memory retrieval hypnosis session.

An old memory flashed across her mind’s eye of Tess and Max on his bed trying memory retrieval. She remembered the jealously that rushed through her veins but looking at Dean- she never felt threatened, never felt like she might lose him.. at least not in that way. Maybe it was just because she was older, more secure in who she was and what she really had with.. Her eyes widened and she immediately shut down that line of thought as she turned away shaking her head.

She headed down the hall then decided to go to the basement knowing there would either be others down there or she could find something on TV to distract her. The fact that there was a TV in the room pointed more towards at least one of the guys being in there. ‘Serena is way too good for Kyle and those two go at it like bunnies. That's why I’m not jealous.’ She thought as she stepped down the basement stairs then dismissed the thought and focused on the stairs in front of her feet. Halfway down, she could hear the television and judged by the speed of the play by play that it was hockey. “Hey Michael.” She made her way across the floor and sat on the couch next to him and smiled at Maria filing her nails on the other side of him.

“Hey chica. I’ll say hi for him because you know how he gets.” Maria rolled her eyes but smiled as she looked at him. If there was one thing Maria had learned through everything they had gone through over the years it was too appreciate what she had. Not that it cut all of the arguments but then they wouldn’t be Michael and Maria without the disagreements and they all knew it was the love they had that kept them strong even with the blow outs they could have. Liz thought it was their way of keeping anything from building up into something they couldn’t get past and Michael liked pushing her buttons.

Liz smirked as she looked at the television, “even though the world was going to shit you can always rely on there being a hockey game on tv.”

Michael grunted, “please even if every city was burning there would still be sports and other TV programs because even demons have their priorities.”

Liz chuckled and Maria looked over at the stairs, “where’s Dean?”

“Oh he and Serena were doing a hypnosis thing when I came down.”

Maria mouthed, Oh. “Honestly, sometimes I wonder if that is good or bad.”

Liz nodded and sipped her coffee. She let her mind numb by getting absorbed in the players on the screen. She didn’t want to think about Isabel still quietly moving about or about Dean, about the nightmares, about what was starting to solidify between her and said man upstairs and why she seemed so worried about that particular idea.

“Liz!” Maria clapped behind her.

Liz jumped slightly in her seat then turned to look at Maria standing behind the couch, “what?”

Maria’s brow furrowed, “are you okay?”

“Yeah why?”

“Because Serena is calling us and I just said your name three times before moving to drastic measures to get your attention.”

Liz felt someone looking at her and turned to seeing Michael watching her with a guarded expression. Shit. “I zoned into the game. So what?”

Maria threw a worried glanced at Michael then shook her head, “whatever, come on Serena was calling us. Maybe they got something this time.”

Liz followed Maria upstairs and wondered how long she had really spaced out. Maria hadn’t said another word as they walked up the stairs which tipped her off to how worried Maria really was. She really didn’t need Maria on her back more than normal when she had enough to deal with already. Liz turned into the living room behind Maria as she thought of what she could say or do to calm Maria down. She almost bumped into Maria when she stopped in the middle of the room. She looked up and saw Dean seated on the couch rubbing his face while Serena was standing by the chair. Liz glanced at Maria to find her watching Serena.

“Jackson County Sanitarium, August 2014.” Serena said.

Maria balked, “August? Seriously?”

Liz looked back to Dean, his eye lids were at half mass and his face was ashen. He looked towards them and nodded his head. “It was definitely August.” Liz felt like he was watching her and expecting her to come to him but she felt stuck where she stood.

He seemed concerned when she hadn’t moved towards him and she forced herself to speak, “do you need anything? Water.. or.. do you want some coffee?”

She could see the question flicker across his face before he controlled his expression. “Water would be great. How bout I come with you?”

Liz shook her head, “that’s not necessary, you rest.”

He stood from the couch. “I insist.” Liz turned and left the room heading for the kitchen as Dean followed behind her.

Maria watched the pair leave and felt something like fear crawl up her spine. She turned towards Serena who was looking at her. “You have any idea what is going on there?” Maria asked as she peeked into the hallway, "because that was way too forced on both their parts for me."

Serena looked around Maria and watched as Liz turned almost awkwardly into the kitchen as Dean’s hand touched the small of her back. It almost seemed like she was moving away from his touch. “I don’t know but I have a feeling Liz is the cause.”

Maria reeled herself in and tried to take a calming breath. Her mind was going a mile a minute with too many thoughts spinning their own ideas of what could be going on. “I don’t know what that girl is hiding or why those two are making this more complicated.”

Serena chuckled and Maria turned to her with her hands on her hips, “and what the hell is so funny?” The frown at Maria’s brow deepened. “What about our situation getting more complicated is so damn funny?”
Serena took one look at Maria and started laughing harder to the point that she had a hard time breathing. Maria shook her head and walked away, “everyone is going crazy. I’m going to be the only sane one left. At least Isabel listens when its about Liz.. she understands how she gets..”

Kyle passed by a muttering Maria throwing a confused glance behind him as he entered the living room. He looked at Serena holding out the drink he brought her, “what’s up with..” He smiled, “what happened?”

Serena wiped her eyes as she tried taking deep breathes. “It was..” She fanned her face trying to calm down. “You know.. just the usual craziness and.. Maria just made a comment..” She stopped to catch her breath then tried explaining it again. “she made a comment like liz’s love life drama could possibly make our situation crazier. I mean we’re trying to fight Lucifer of all people and she’s worried about..” Serena gave up on it, waving it away and shook her head. Kyle quirked his eyebrow. “Okay so maybe it’s just me. I found it funny. Like something between Liz and Dean would ever be a deal breaker. We all know they’re tied tighter than most of us.”

Kyle handed her the glass of iced tea and she accepted it with a smile. He let her take a sip then asked, “so how are they tied tighter?”

Serena glanced towards the direction of the kitchen and lowered her voice. “Tragedy I’m afraid. They both know what it’s like and they found themselves at a point in their lives where it was do or die. They both decided to do.” And somehow formed an unbreakable bond that has marked them on a very deep level. She thought to herself. A conclusion she had come to but had no way of really explaining what she’s seen ever since Liz came back after meeting him.

Kyle smiled, “you’re such a hopeless romantic.”

Serena rolled her eyes, “don’t be ridiculous. I’m a realist.”

Kyle’s hands slipped around her waist. “A real dreamer.”

Serena smirked, “please. I’m a drifter all the way.”

“Psshh.” Kyle swung her around and plucked the glass from her hand and placed it down on the table.

She started to sing, “like a drifter I was born to walk alone.”

Kyle chuckled as he danced with her in the living room, “and I’ve made up my mind.. I ain’t wasting no more time.”

Serena smiled, “I missed you.”

Kyle rested his forehead against hers, “me too. The next time Iz needs a little break I’m coming too. You never know what we could all get into.” He wiggled his eyebrows and she started chuckling again. He whispered, “how can we be so carefree at a time like this?”

Her hands slid into his hair, “because we’re in that honeymoon stage of our relationship where everything is sex and awesomeness.” She pressed her lips to his then lingered just in front of them, “or simply because we know that something this good is not to be taken for granted and we also know that everything will work out as it should.”

“Thank Buddha.”

Serena couldn’t help but laugh at that.

Isabel moved carefully through the house in the dark- something that had become a normal habit for her since she came back. Luckily, she had spent enough time there throughout the years that she pretty much knew the place blindfolded. She turned into the living room and froze. Standing quietly by Liz’s favorite window, looking out with a blood red rose in his hand was Sam. His eyes moved to her slowly then he turned with the smirk she had come to know well. “Izzy.”

She growled, “I’ve told you before only he can call me that.”

His hand moved to his heart, “why can’t you see that we are one now. He is mine just as he is yours so we will always be tied together.”

She strode towards him angrily, “you get something straight, you son of a bitch!” She got in his face and yelled, “HE IS NOT YOURS! You will never be anything but a lowly parasite no matter how highly you think of yourself! And one day.. I will kill you. I will rip you from him and grind you into the ground where you belong. Do you hear me?”

He simply smiled and tried to touch her cheek but she batted his hand away. The smile faltered slightly then his hand reached out for her cheek again but this time she found herself frozen. “remember princess, I allow these visits and I can take them away. Unlike you, I look upon them fondly. I mean I do see what your people did and I applaud it. Beauty like yours deserved to live on so why won’t you join me instead of fight me?”

The rage she felt shaking inside her froze, “if you let him go.. I’ll join you.”

He shook his head, “I’ve told you Sam is my vessel and believe it or not he likes it here. I mean the power to really be himself is just.. sublime.”

Her eye and cheek twitched as she tried not to show her anger. “Then I’ll see you in hell whether I have to join you there or not. Believe me when I say I will shove you in your proper place.”

He took a deep breathe then blew it in her face freezing the single tear that silently rolled down her cheek. “Such a shame, such a waste. Maybe one day you will see.”

Two women shot up in their beds. Liz found herself in her room and felt the movement beside her, her terrified eyes found Dean staring at her in concern. She felt the cries escape her throat and Dean pulled her to him, wrapping her in his strong arms as he tried to calm her fears but all she could think of was Sam. Dean’s quiet murmurs of comfort were drowned out by the echos in her mind. She pictured Sam banging on the walls of his mind, screaming for Lucifer to leave Isabel alone. She briefly wondered if Isabel could hear him but knew there was no way she did. The anger that radiated off of her was too much. Isabel might have broken down and actually joined him if she heard Sam’s screams. Then her mind moved to Isabel, she knew she was awake too. She somehow stumbled into Isabel’s dream and she was shoved out because Isabel was forced to wake. She wondered if Isabel knew that she was in there but thought against it. She knew what it was like to have so much going on that taxed your emotions, it was just too hard to use other senses or to even keep your mind enough to try them in the first place. She and Isabel definitely had more in common at night than she thought, the only question was how common were their dreams? Was Liz really having premonitions or just dreaming? And were those dreams only pictures painted by Lucifer’s hand?

In a room just down the hall, Isabel shot up and found herself alone. Her eyes adjusted to the dark as they searched her room to make sure everything was as it should be. She shivered. It felt like her room was freezing but she knew from prior experience that it was just her. She reached for the blanket that she kept under the bed and caught her reflection in the window. Light glistened off a spot on her face and she touched her cheek. She found a tiny frozen piece of ice and plucked it from her cheek. She closed her fist over it and felt it melt then slip through her fingers. She wrapped the blanket around her then dropped to the bed and shoved her face into her pillow knowing what would come next. The sobs racked her body and the pillow kept the sounds from traveling too far.
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Re: RADIOACTIVE (XO SPN, D/L, Mature) Chap.34 9/11

Postby MelissaD » Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:21 pm

Popping in to post this really fast!! :D MUCH LOVE!

Chapter Thirty Four
**Witchy Woman by the Eagles, lyrics are underlined.**

East Ridge, TN June 2014

Boston was made and I finally had a dream that helped us. It was a damn miracle that I even caught the first wisps of it coming true in the real world. We were able to get out before the demons got there and we watched them go to hell on the security cam.. well, those of us who could watch that long. Isabel and I couldn't watch because the voice over the speakers in the house was Sam's. He was the one that set up the demon trap and recorded the exorcism that we rigged up to go off if the trap was activated. I didn't expect it to hit me so hard and I doubt Isabel did either. Honestly, I had forgotten. It had been so long since we actually used it and Michael and Sam were the ones that tested it. I’m not sure if they all watched until they dropped- all I know is Dean watched to make sure no demon got out to run back and tell whoever sent them. We’ve passed that hang up, no more letting one run back to daddy. I highly doubt Lucifer had anything to do with it- he could care less about us- we just too far beneath him to be a threat. I have a good idea who could’ve sent them but I don’t think he’ll be much a problem since he’s in hiding as well.

We headed south to one of Ava's old safe houses. The house is high in the mountains and for a desert dweller it's a little scary but it's hidden and we need that right now. Isabel likes the sights on her runs but honestly sometimes I'm afraid she just might jump. Does that sound horrible? I know she's strong but sometimes there are only so many hits one person can take. I wonder if Sam ever reaches out to her but I'm afraid to ask because the nights when I've thought it actually might be Sam connecting with me.. those dreams are the worst. She knows I have dreams that I’m not talking about.. - we’re both harboring secrets so really I’m the last person to ask her to do that. We’ve become more alike during the past year and sometimes I wonder if my bad habits are rubbing off on her but then I remember those dreams that I’ve seen and know it’s just a coping mechanism or really.. just a way of survival.

Lucifer still calls me out although his wording changes from time to time and the people with me that I can see and feel change as well. A lot of the time things are still muddled-which puzzles me because we know the location. The only solid constant is death and the only thing that it seems I can control is the amount of it. I hear Lucifer's words practically ring in the air, "did you really think you could beat me Liz? Really? All that alien mojo and you still can’t live up to the hype.” Some nights that's where it ends and some nights it continues until death surrounds me or takes me. The dreams where I feel myself slip away while cradled in Sam's shaking arms are becoming less muddled and a little bit more solid every time.

Isabel, Serena, and Liz went out for an early run since they were all awake and Serena was full of energy. She was practically bouncing off the walls so Isabel had suggested using the energy for something productive. Serena started up an old game of questions as they ran together and about half way through their run Liz took the opportunity to tip toe slightly into her conflicted thoughts.

“What would you do if tomorrow was the end of the war but it meant that everyone was wiped out?”

“What? That question sucks.” Serena threw out with a sideways look towards Liz who had been avoiding their gazes for the last ten minutes.

“Oh because it's not about a celebrity?” Isabel scoffed.

“No because it's depressing.” Serena glanced at Isabel and caught her look. They both knew where this was most likely coming from and it was a way to get her to talk about it, at least slightly.

Isabel chuckled. “No more depressing than your destruction of fashion question. Go on Liz.”

“What would you do? Run away, go to Vegas..” Liz continued to look forward, only quickly throwing glances their way a few times.

“Try to change it?” Isabel said.

“Well, you could try but what if it still meant you died?” Liz rolled her eyes at their looks and chuckled but it sounded forced even to her own ears. “Come on, I think it's a good question.”

“Yeah, especially given our situation.” Serena said.

Isabel seemed to skim over Serena’s comment. “Easy, I'd go down fighting. Never give anything less than a fuck you right to your face.” Isabel said emphasizing with two middle fingers in the air.

Serena’s eyes widened. “Wow. You need to get off.”

Isabel smirked. “Shut up! What's your answer?”

“Fight it to the death!” Serena threw her fist in the air and smiled.

Liz watched them from the corner of her eye. “So.. I noticed neither one of you would try to go back? Maybe spend more time with your significant other? Or follow a different path.”

“Significant other? Who the hell says that?” Serena laughed.

“Yeah, because even though we know the dangers of time travel we’d still try to go back.” Isabel rolled her eyes.


“Significant other.. good god Liz. You need sleep.. or to get laid.” Serena chuckled.

“What is up with you and sex?” Liz asked.

Isabel interjected, “oh please don’t ask that because we all know the answer.” Isabel looked at Serena, “you sound more like Kyle every day.. just to let you know.”

Serena smiled, “I’m not going to apologize for having a good time.”

“And no one is going to fault you for it.” Isabel said then tilted her head up, “although we might have to torture you if you continue to wake us up with it. Shoving it in our faces like that is just against roommate etiquette.” Even while running Isabel was able to take on an air of authority like only an Ice Queen could. Serena and Liz couldn’t hold their composure at the sight. Their run came to a stumbling halt as they tried to catch their breath. Isabel briefly wondered if their hysterics were more from lack of sleep than anything else but pushed the thought away. Any laughter was good for them at this point.

Later that night, Liz and Dean were tangled together in bed with music- a combined playlist of their favorite tunes- softly playing from her phone. Liz was lying on her side facing Dean with her head resting on his arm, her free hand playing with his hair as he lay quietly with his eyes closed. She actually thought he had fallen asleep until he said, “I always knew you’d be too good for me.”

“What?” She chuckled softly.

“The moment I saw you, I knew I’d be no good for you but damn would you be good for me.” He smiled then opened his eyes to look at her.

Liz rolled her eyes, “yeah sure. I was so great, all full of baggage and rage.”

“Mmmm. Not bad at all.” Dean’s mind went back to that night, seeing her behind the bar and being slightly surprised by her but quickly pushing any rising thoughts away.

"Oo ooh witchy woman see how high she flys." Dean sang along in his head with the song coming from the jukebox as he sat the table that gave him the best view of the door and not that he would admit out loud but also the bar. He noticed her the moment he stepped into the bar and continued to watch her from the corner of his eye wondering briefly about the cute college student with the darkness in her eyes. She looked like she should be little miss innocent but she wasn’t. No, she carried something that gave her that edge, that touch of badass that told those in the know she could kick some ass.

She held me spellbound in the night. Dancing shadows, fire light.” He sang along in his head as he looked up watching her move along the bar.

She was probably working her way through school and dealt with too many assholes in her time which gave her that edge and also the confidence to work a bar alone at night. She could probably do amazing things to him and he really could show her how a real man treats a lady but then what the hell would he know about that? No, he would be no good for her, she was better than a one night stand. Wow, something was really wrong with him if he was dissing one night stands. Who the hell cares. A girl like that didn’t go for men like him and for good reason. All he brought was pain.

“You made me think differently right away. Scared the shit out of me.”

Liz laughed, “I guess you wouldn't want to know what I thought.”

“Oh I know what you thought. Who is this creepy old dude who doesn’t like to talk.. in a bar.”

She chuckled then her right hand fell from his hair and covered his cheek. “Do you trust me?” He looked into her eyes and nodded. “Close your eyes.” She whispered as she covered his other cheek with her left hand.

Dean felt himself immediately pulled into her memory and heard her singing. If he hadn’t experienced this before he’d be thrown by the feeling of being in someone else’s body. “Raven hair and ruby lips, sparks fly from her fingertips.” She was wiping down the bar as she sang along. “Echoed voices in the night, she’s a restless spirit on an endless flight.” She chuckled, “ain’t that the truth.” She looked up from the bar when she heard the door shut and noticed the man walking towards a table in the back. ‘Here we go another guy to hit on me. I wonder if Dan is back from his night deposit run.’ Dean marveled at how shitty he really looked that night.

Liz moved to the kitchen door and glanced in the window seeing the long room empty. She rolled her eyes and turned to move back behind the bar and caught the new comer staring at her ass. She laughed softly hiding her face. ‘Course, he isn’t the worst guy to hit on me. Poor guy could use a little motivation.’ She swayed to the music as she made her way behind the bar and reached up for a bottle even though she usually used the stool and didn’t really need the bottle. Dean realized she was doing things just because she knew he was watching. He wasn’t as slick as he thought and she played him like fiddle. On a different night he would have fell right into her trap, gladly. The worst part is he would have thought that he was the initiator and that he got the girl when it would have been the other way around. How many times did that happen in the past?

‘He's actually kind of hot in that rugged bad boy way if he didn't have that 'somebody, killed my puppy' look.’ He almost laughed at her thought but then his haunted eyes came up and caught hers. He felt the gut reflex to look away but could only watch as she connected with him in a way that seemed so simple but he knew just how powerful it really was that night. He remembered catching her eyes and being trapped by them. He remembered wanting her to save him but then of course he had reminded himself that no one could save him or Sammy but himself and he looked away from her. Then he felt her feelings flood him as they did her that night. The breathe that caught in her chest and the feeling welling up in her stomach. An instinct kicked into gear and he knew what that instinct was telling her, he knew that was the whole reason she came to his room that night. She felt she had to save him and her instinct was telling her she was the only one that could.

Liz pulled her hand away and looked at him with a small smile. His eyes fluttered open and he looked at her as the feelings from the memory still washed over him. “Rugged bad boy huh?”

She smirked, “I was being polite.”

He chuckled as the last wisps of the memory slipped away. “Sam and I probably would have been long gone at this point if not for you.”

She looked away, “I’m not so sure about that.”

He touched her chin and turned her back to him, “it’s more than likely and you know it. Our lives got better because of that night. And that’s saying something for us.”

She looked into his eyes, “I just hope we can figure something out to keep it that way.”

“We’ll figure it out, all of us put together are a pretty powerful mix.”

She laid her head on his chest to escape his stare and said quietly, “Hopefully that’s enough.” His hand brushed through her hair and she felt that familiar pit in her stomach knowing they might not get the ending that they’re hoping for. At least not the one everyone else seemed to be hoping for.

Dean felt like she was pulling away slightly as she broke eye contact with him but told himself it was probably just bringing up the nightmares that she didn’t like to think about. Only he didn’t believe the lies he was telling himself and that really worried him because above all he trusted his instincts. This wasn’t a good sign at all and for some reason that memory only seemed to solidify that idea in his mind.
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Re: RADIOACTIVE (XO SPN, D/L, Mature) Chap.35 10/14

Postby MelissaD » Tue Oct 14, 2014 12:18 pm

Holy crap it's seriously been over a month! My humblest apologies my friends! Crazy month and I definitely haven't gotten much me time but I am back with a big chapter for you!! Thank you to all the readers for hanging in! :)

Chapter Thirty Five
End of June 2014

Dean sat back and got comfortable in the lawn chair. He was surprised she was even able to find these anymore but then again when was the last time he actually went shopping- really, what the hell did he know? He heard the back door close on the small house behind him and turned his head to find her walking towards him, a vision to say the least. Short black shorts and a black tank top, her dark hair loose and hanging freely, brushing just above her tan chest and the whole look was complete with two cold bottles of beer in her hands and an easy smile. It was a look he didn’t see on her often enough recently, a look that screamed stress-free. If he didn’t already know that he loved this woman, this would be one of those moments where he figured it out but really it was just added to the many times he was reminded of that fact. Thankfully, he wasn’t scared about it anymore- he had long since abandoned that fear although some of his worst nightmares may be creeping up on him. He wasn’t going to waste any of their time, whatever amount remained, worrying about how he really felt about the woman that changed his world- that changed him.

She handed him one of the beers and sat easily on the chair next to him. She leaned back on the chair popping the top off her beer. He smiled, completely forgetting the nightmares that plagued him as he watched her get comfortable.

“What are you smirking at Winchester?”

There was a mischievous twinkle in her eye, another thing he loved about her. This list was getting long. He hoped he had a long time to keep adding to it. “Your sexy ass, that’s what.”

She took a quick swig then rolled her head slowly to face him. “I’m sitting on it, you can’t see it.”

“Oh but I have an amazing memory.”

She chuckled, “enjoy your beer.” She rolled her head back and looked up at the sky. He placed his beer carefully on the ground and got off his chair. “What are you doing?”

He plucked the beer from her hand and placed it on the ground. “I’d like to enjoy your beer.” She started laughing and he climbed carefully on her chair only spurring on her laughter.

“You’re so selfish! You can never get enough!” He pinned her underneath him and covered her mouth with his.

“Not bad for a dream.”

A chuckle from behind him made him jump. His hand immediately reaching behind him for the gun tucked in his waist band at the small of his back. He turned fully with the gun in hand to see another Liz, this one in jeans and a black Led Zeppelin tee, standing just a few feet from the chair with an amused smile on her face. He glanced back to the Liz that was beneath him, her lips pink and puffy, her eyes hooded as she looked up at him with that sexy smile. He looked back to the one standing. “What the hell..?”

She walked over to his chair and sat down. “Calm down. We’re in your head, your dream to be exact.” She picked up his beer from its resting place on the ground and took a swig. “Wow, this stuff really does taste better to you.” She looked at him with a smile that faltered slightly when she saw his face.

Dean glanced back at the Liz on the chair and noticed she was slightly transparent. His panic flashed across his face and he heard Liz’s voice, “it’s okay. Your subconscious is being interrupted as it.. well, let’s say it’s recalculating the information on the board, kind of like a ‘choose your own ending’ book. Your thoughts are changing, you see me so the other version isn’t really needed.” Her voice was completely calm as if this was nothing new to her. “Any other person might just wake up, their mind being challenged and all.”

He looked back at her and saw her brows raised and she pointed at the gun still pointed at her. He slowly lowered the weapon and couldn’t help the quick glance to the now empty chair. He lowered himself slowly and dropped the gun on the ground. What the hell would it be good for now. He scrubbed his face and the gun was gone. He looked at Liz. “You’re not part of my dream but the real thing?”

Liz nodded then shrugged, “well kind of.” She caught the tension in his shoulders at her answer. “We’ve been over this before. This is my subconscious as well, I’m the version of your Liz that’s usually hidden behind layers of protection and filters.. yada yada. You know when you think before you talk? So you don’t always say what you really mean? Yeah, I’m that voice saying what she really means. The filters are back in the real world.” She leaned forward resting her arms on her legs matching his position.

He narrowed his eyes and sat up straight. “How is that possible, you’re her subconscious? How’d you get here without her?”

She smiled, “partly Granolith, partly your connection with Liz. We’ve actually talked about this before but this often happens.”

His brow furrowed, “I have a connection with Liz?”

She sighed. “Of course you always focus on that part.” She rolled her eyes. “You know that tingling whenever Liz is nearby? That feeling in the back of your mind that just knows I’m.. she’s near before you see her? Yeah kiddo, that’s a connection, courtesy of the more alien part of my.. her.. our DNA.” She chuckled. “I wish I could somehow plant that in your head somewhere.”

Dean ran his hands through his hair. “Well, can’t really be surprised when it comes to you guys anymore.”

She smiled, “you know it’s pretty interesting. You dream of just a quiet night alone with her and a couple of cold beers. It’s nice. Not exactly what I thought your dreams would be like the first time I came strolling over.”

“Yeah, well it can’t all be strippers and rock concerts.”

She smirked, “although a lot of times it is.” Her smile faded, “when it’s not a nightmare.”

He watched her quietly for a few seconds, “what are you doing here anyway? If you’re her subconscious shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, controlling her dream? I thought it was your subconscious that did all this.” He waved around him and noticed that there really wasn’t much there beyond the small backyard. In fact it was just a greyish blur. Something about it unnerved him.

“It is but she’s deeper than R.E.M. sleep right now. No dreams.” He looked back at her and raised his brow. She continued, “I just needed to reach out to you, to warn you maybe.” Her eyes moved away as though she couldn’t keep his gaze for some reason.

“Enough of the riddles.” He rested his elbows on his knees bringing his face closer to hers to try to get a better read on her.

Her gaze came back to his and the look there sent a chill down his spine. “Listen, I know you love her. She knows it but the one thing that she’s keeping down or trying to cover is the fact that she loves you and that terrifies her. She’s made some huge strides because of you but that’s still a very real fear for her. She won’t say it aloud because she feels if she admits it then she will lose you. She lost so much in this life that it’s actually a legitimate fear but she also has a part of her that is thinking she needs to do everything she can to make sure that she can fix what she ruined and she’s included you and your brother on that list. You need to make sure she knows that if you lose her.. you need to let her know just how much she means to you so she understands what all of her actions could do to you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She’s been dreaming about Lucifer, about getting your brother back. Some are dreams and some are actual premonitions.”

“I know that, she told us.”

“She hasn’t told you everything. She keeps some to herself, like the ones where so far, you have won. You’ve gotten Sam back.”

“Why would she not tell us that?”

“Because it was at the cost of her own life.”

“What?” He jumped up from the chair feeling nervous energy shoot through his veins.

Liz looked up at him while he started to pace. “That’s why she hasn’t told anyone because she knows if anyone knew, they wouldn’t let her near him but she has to be there. She has to be the one to.. approach him. She is the only way you can get your brother back, that’s a fact but I believe there is also a way for her to survive. But she has herself already resolved to the idea that she has to sacrifice herself and some days.. she’s okay with that.”

Dean stopped and turned towards her, “so you’re telling me that I should tell her.. what? She has to go but she’s not going to give her life for my brother’s? That there’s another way even though I don’t know what it is but she does?”

“I know it’s a lot and it’s confusing. There’s more..” Her brow scrunched as her gaze moved away from his again, “factors muddling things for her than before and she hasn’t figured it out yet so it’s more difficult for her to weed through the mess.” Her eyes slowly came back to his.

His heart skipped a beat and he dropped himself on the chair, “what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

She slid off the chair and kneeled on the ground in front of him, her hands came to rest on his knees. “You can’t let her pull away Dean. Do you hear me? You need to make sure she knows what she means to you, do not let her run from you or her future.”

“I don’t understand, why are you telling me this? It’s not like she doesn’t know. You said yourself that she knows..”

She grabbed his hands and cut off his thought. “Would you die so your brother could live?”

He paused with his eyes staring directly into hers. His voice was husky. “If you’re a part of her then you know I already have.”

Her face was unreadable. “Then you know how she feels.”

“Without forcing her to stay out of it, how am I supposed to make sure she doesn’t sacrifice herself?” He pulled his hands out of her grasp. “This doesn’t make any sense! I don’t see what I can change!”

She grabbed his hands again, this time pressing them to her chest. “You need to make sure she knows how much losing her would devastate you. You’ve both lost enough in this life to know the feeling.. you’re the one who could understand. Only you can make her understand that she matters too. If she acts like she is dispensable then she’s acting like you are too. Make her understand, Dean. If not then you can add another loss to your list and hers as well.”

Dean watched her, his eyes wide as she pleaded with him to do the impossible. She would know that. If Liz already had her mind set, how the hell could he change it?

She pressed her forehead to his, her voice was low and desperate. “You’re the only one that can, Dean. You’re the only one that can save her.”

Dean shot up in bed with words echoing in his head that shook him. He looked around the room, trying to gather his wits. He felt a shift in the bed next to him and he turned to see Liz’s sleepy eyes trying to open. “You okay?” Her voice was groggy and nothing like the one bouncing around inside his skull.

He lay back down, his arms drawing her against him. “I’m fine, it’s okay, go back to sleep.” She snuggled into his chest and he concentrated on the rise and fall of her chest, waiting for the signs of sleep. He laid in the dark holding her, thinking about the feel of her skin, the smooth, silky hair against his chest, her leg draped over his as her breathing evened out. Was that all just some really weird dream? It didn’t seem like she was in that deep of a sleep, his movement woke her up. But she’s been hiding something. Keeping something just out of attention, he knew that much. So maybe his dream was just saying he needed to pay more attention to that, to her but that didn’t seem quite right either. Something about that dream felt different, felt real. He needed to keep a better eye on her and maybe he did need to have an honest talk with her. The words haunted him, “you need to make sure she knows what she means to you, do not let her run from you or her future.”

Dean woke the next morning with her words from the night before replaying in his head. He watched Liz closer that day, noticing the little moments where she seemed gone, spaced out, or simply staring out the window. Words whispered along the periphery of his mind all day as he followed her with his gaze. He wondered just what she was thinking, what she was seeing. If she was thinking of ways to get around them, to somehow fool them into letting her give herself up as the sacrificial lamb or if maybe she was thinking of a way to survive.


All day he gave her space, let her space out and think, plan. He reciprocated her tiny touches here and there but couldn't help wondering just what she was touching him for. Was she slowly saying goodbye or trying to gain strength? He saw the sad looks she threw his way when she thought he wasn’t paying attention, like when he was talking with Michael or when he was cooking with Kyle. Little did she know his eyes were never far from her at all.


He heard the echoes from his dream drift in and out of his head all day. He was reminded of the memory Liz had shown him, her memory where she felt that very same thing towards him. It scared him just a little that he was the only one but he didn’t have a single clue as to why or how or what the hell it even meant. But then Liz didn’t know either when she saw him, she knew nothing about him but the feeling that she needed to help him, needed to save him, and that she was the only one who could. He believed that gut feeling of hers was enhanced with just touch of alien evolution that seemed to make it hit the nail right on the head.

That night as she went through her nightly routine, he watched her quietly. A smile on his face at how meticulous she was with her lotion, making sure no spot was missed on her legs. Her head came up and she chuckled nervously, "what? Is there something..?" She began looking for something amiss.

He shook his head, "no."

"Then why are you staring?"

His brow rose. "Do you really have to ask me that?"

She laughed, "really.. What is it?"

"You're beautiful."

"Shut up." She started towards him and he opened his arms. She climbed on his lap. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

He looked into her eyes, "you."

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, "no need for pick-up lines here, Winchester."

"You know how you said you didn't think you were meant to go through life alone? You have your solid group of friends that are family and I know I could never do this without Sammy.. but these years with you, they've shown me that maybe it's supposed to be more than that by your side. I was never one to believe.."

Her brow furrowed, "Dean.."

"I didn't.. " He paused a second, knowing he was awful at this type of thing but he had to do this right. “I didn’t believe in that whole ‘perfect one’ thing but you fit me like no one else could. I think I was meant to find you. That I wasn't meant to walk through this life without you by my side. I'm not sure I could do this without you. Not without the group but you specifically." She tried hiding it but dean saw the sadness in her eyes and the confusion. "I needed you to know what you are to me. If things don't go the way.."

She stopped him with a hand over his mouth. "Don't say that, please."

He stared into her brown eyes. The tears gathering in the corner gave her eyes a glassy effect. "Tell me we'll both make it through this."

She shook her head. "You know I can't."

He brushed a hand over her cheek. "Then you needed to know that. I needed you to know that."

Liz nodded once unable to say a word. A few tears slipped from her eyes, she pulled in a breath then forced a small laugh. "I'm sorry I don't know why I'm crying." She reached her hand up to wipe them away but he caught her hand. Her eyes shot up to his then his gaze fell to her cheeks. He wiped the tears away with his free hand then leaned in and kissed her cheeks. His lips were soft and light. His gaze slid up to hers and time seemed to stand still. The look he sent seemed to promise so many things that she wouldn’t let herself believe, things she couldn’t afford to think. In reality, it was only a second or two before he was sealing their lips together and pulling her down onto the bed, affectively clearing her mind of any worries that always stood steadfastly in her mind. For a brief respite, all was right with the world.
When Drifters Collide.

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Re: RADIOACTIVE (XO SPN, D/L, Mature) Chap.36 11/2

Postby MelissaD » Sun Nov 02, 2014 9:50 am

mzzcocoa: Awww, THANK YOU! I've honestly been wanting to read Angels myself since its been so long. That one will always hold a special place in my heart since it was the story that got me back into writing. :D I'll keep updating this one until it's finished. I have the ending mapped out I just need to get it written and posted! I was having trouble two months ago because an idea for a sequel to Perception was bugging me and I had to jot that down just so I could move on with this one. Writer problems? :lol:

Also a big THANKS to all the readers still with me!!

Chapter Thirty Six
Mid July 2014

“Did you really think you could kill me? Just because you got a little alien mojo pumping through those veins? I expected more from THE Liz Parker that Sam thought so damn much about.”

She felt pure hot rage rush through her veins tensing every muscle as she stared at him. Energy swirled inside her core, building to such a point that she just might burst. She closed her eyes and the thought bloomed quickly like the swift flow of energy now racing to every inch of her body looking for its point of release. She came to a decision when she opened her eyes and saw the smug look of victory on his face. She ran towards him at full speed throwing up her arm, her palm aimed for his chest. The scream that pierced the air was full of months’ worth of frustration, fear, and pain. She released all the pain, anguish, worry, anxiety, and nerves she had felt over the last year into that scream. The tears that filled her eyes blurred her vision but they weren’t the reason she didn’t see the surprise on some of the faces around her. It was her extreme focus on the object of her fury that had every inch of her being zeroed in on the man who had caused her and friends’ pain.

The second her hand made contact with his chest she let go, shoving with everything she had into Sam’s body. She stared into his shocked face and smiled as she felt the energy and every bit of fiery pain drain from her body. Her voice was low and gruff, “here's some alien mojo for you asshole."

He grimaced and the shock slipped away a second before the anger took over. His hand snapped out against her chest and she felt the bolt zing through her bones. She felt the shock throughout her body and couldn’t move a muscle as she fell backwards towards the ground. She was almost blinded by the flash of lightening that flashed across the clouds then Dean’s face was there, blocking out the grey and black clouds that filled her vision. His mouth was moving but she couldn’t understand, she couldn’t hear a thing. She tried reaching for him but her body wasn’t responding. She felt the blood pumping through her veins begin to slow, her lungs pull in less air, and everything else slowly following suit. Her normal, perfectly functioning organs were becoming sluggish and she knew quite simply that they were shutting down. She could do nothing but watch his panicked face as the background started to fade. Her vision grew darker as it shrank into a pinhole on Dean. His face came closer, his nose practically touching hers yet she still couldn’t say what she wished she could.

“I love you Liz.”

She ached to respond, to let him know what she truly felt, what she knew for so long but was too afraid to voice. I love you, she thought as she stared into his green eyes. His eyes, so filled with anguish, became the last image she saw before they too faded to black.

Liz felt herself clawing to the surface, trying so hard to make it out of the sticky blackness trying to hold her down. She snapped up in bed sucking in air like she had finally breached the surface of a watery grave. Her panicked eyes searched the room then she bolted from the bed for the trash can in the corner. Her hands wrapped tightly around the small plastic can as she retched. When she felt her stomach finally stop contracting, she pushed the trashcan away and lay her face down on the hardwood floor. The coolness felt good on her over heated skin even with the small tremors running through her spent body.

After a couple of minutes, she pulled herself to her knees then tied the bag closed and yanked it out of the can. She forced herself to her feet, stumbling slightly before putting her hand to the wall for balance then moved to the door. She peeked out of the room to see if the hall was clear. She waited a few beats listening for any approaching footsteps wary that she had made too much noise and someone might be coming to check on her. When she was sure she was alone, she slipped out of the room into the hall, quickly and quietly making her way into the bathroom two doors down.

She locked the door and leaned her back against it, thankful that no one had witnessed that mess and that no one was around to hear it. She pushed off the door and threw the bag in the toilet waving her hand over it melting the plastic into a more disposable mess then flushed it away.

She turned on the cold water and splashed her face a couple of times before staring at her reflection in the mirror. She felt just as bad as she looked. She didn’t want to think about the dream because it was basically the same thing as before but those green eyes- his eyes, they just wouldn't go away. She knew he was begging for her to stay, begging for her to fight but in the end there was nothing she could do. She really had no reason to believe that she had defeated Lucifer but the look on his face told her she did enough. The fact that he had been able to hold her for so long but could she really know how long it truly was? Couldn’t that have been mere seconds for her? All the dreams in which she died it seemed like such a long time but in reality it could have just been mere seconds.

She forced herself to focus and thought about the differences. She didn’t know what had changed but Dean holding her was new and it was so much harsher. Seeing the devastation there, it had to be the way he had been acting recently. So gung ho to tell her what she already knew that he must be thinking something different, he must've changed something in the timeline and she had no idea what it was.

Did Sam not make it? Did Dean interrupt something before she could save Sam? No, that didn’t make any sense. She was thrown to the ground by whatever Lucifer had done. Dean came after she was already down. But she had a sick feeling that something had changed and she knew that the way Dean had been acting lately was the only thing that was different since the last dream. And she couldn’t allow their drama to get in the way of saving Sam, of saving everyone. She needed to back away until all this was over but she had to be smart about it. She needed to do it quietly, without him realizing she was actually pulling away or it could get worse, it could end worse. She knew he wouldn’t want to hear it but the only constant in the dreams was someone paying the price and there was no way in hell she was letting anyone else do it.

A week later.

Dean woke to an empty bed. Again. What was this, the fourth time this week? Not that it was much different when she was in the bed. He felt that wall she had silently erected, something blocking them from truly being together. He sat up still dressed from the night before and left the bedroom. He’d given her enough leeway but now it was just getting into dangerous territory. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew she wasn’t just planning and working out strategy. He knew when someone was hiding something and he felt her pulling away. He thought about how many times he had gone through this over the last year. He thought about how many times these thoughts went through his head and the different excuses she had given him and the ones he had given for her- she was under a lot of stress, this was just the mode she slipped into, a tried and true coping mechanism that worked for her.

The familiar haunting voice whispered through his mind. “Do not let her run from you or her future.”

He looked in the kitchen as he past catching Isabel and Serena talking quietly in front of the coffee machine. “You guys seen Liz?”

The look that flicked behind them wasn’t a good one then they both gave almost matching expressions of concern as they shook their heads to indicate no. Isabel spoke, “not since last night when I left the war room while she and Michael were looking at the blue prints.”

He nodded and made his way to the small shed in the backyard that Michael and Liz had basically turned into a soldier’s outpost. He couldn’t recall if it was Isabel or Maria who had dubbed it 'the war room' but it was a good nickname, it hit the mark. A table that stood in the middle of the shed was covered with the original blue print and papers tacked to the walls showed everything from weather to updates on the property that were also penciled in on the blueprint in different colors. There was nothing in that room that didn’t have to do with what they all knew would be their final showdown with Lucifer.

He pulled open the door and found no one. He moved to the table and looked at the large blue print. No changes since he’d been in there last night but some of the team post-its had moved positions. Then he noticed two of them had different names. Something definitely had changed. He felt his blood heat when he realized that she had moved him to a different team, one that was on the perimeter and one that didn’t have her name. “Sonofa..”

He stormed out of the shed and froze when he spotted her closing the back door of the house. He strode towards her and caught the look of surprise on her face when she saw him before she could cover it up. He saw her muscles tense and knew she actually thought about turning around to head back into the house where she could hide but instead she froze and waited for him to approach her. “What the hell are you thinking? Because honestly.. I hope it’s not what I think.”

Her face gave nothing away, she was ready for him and she already had her wall up ready for his anger. “Trying to keep everyone safe? I assume you’re talking about your new assignment?”

He was taken aback for a second. “Assignment?” She nodded and looked away. “Are you fucking kidding me? You really think I’m just going to sit back and let you put me on a different..”

“Michael and I..”

He interrupted her interruption with a loud outburst. “Bullshit!” She flinched. He saw the anger flare up in her eyes as they came back to his face and felt a bit of relief at that.

“Excuse me?”

“Michael wouldn’t have switched me and everyone knows it.”

She stared at him for a moment, he wasn’t sure if she was assessing him or thinking of a better angle. She pushed her way around him, “I don’t have time for this.”

He turned and went to grab her arm but thought better of it. It was time for this to stop. “Just stop and look at me damn it!” She stopped a few feet away but didn’t turn towards him. “You think I don’t know what you’re doing? Stop all this ‘it's all about me’ crap, okay?! Because it's not! It's all of us!” He took a step towards her. “You think you’re the only one who’s scared to lose it? You don't think Isabel is this close from losing it?! That everyone else doesn't feel the pressure of what the future could be should we not make it?” Another step. “Hell, if just one of us doesn't make it? I might not've been there when you guys lost him but I know what it's like to lose family and what we have here is the closest, tightest family I've ever gotten the chance to be a part of and I'll be damned if I just sit on my ass and let you go sulk off in the corner thinking it's all on you.”

He took another step towards her. He could reach out and touch her now but he held himself back knowing how important his actions were in this moment. “Did you ever think that maybe we need you? That maybe that family you’re hiding from needs you around? Huh? That I need you? Not just now before we go into what could be our last god damned day on this earth. I need you to be the girl.. I need you to be the woman that I've come to rely on. The woman that I've grown to love. Not this..” He touched her arm gently, “this isn't you Liz. That person you became.. that falling apart revenge fueled person after you lost him that everyone in that house is terrified you'll become again. That's not you. That's not the person that they know and it's not the person that Sam needs. That I need.”

When she didn’t move he stepped around her to face her. “I don't care how hard it may be for you to hear because you need to hear it and you need to snap out of it and be Liz god damn Parker because.. Just because!" He paused and put his head down. "Jesus.. Sam said something very similar to me one time." He swiped his mouth and turned away shaking his head. His hand rubbed the back of his neck. "You know.. That's my brother we're all risking our lives for but if he were here..” He paused for a second. “We didn't always agree. Half the time we barely agreed on anything. But the one thing we would both agree on.." He turned back to her, "is that we would never sacrifice any of you for one of us. He would never stand for you to take his place. Ever. I know my brother and you.. I mean everyone in there.." He shook his head, "but you above everyone. He would never stand for it. Because he knows what you've been through. He's felt your loss. He's felt your pain. He would never allow it."

She stood watching him, her face impassive as if everything he just said was logged but not truly heard. “Okay. No one ever said anything about sacrificing anyone. That’s not the plan.” She side stepped him and he moved with her still blocking her way.

“You think I don't know what you’re doing? Really?” He threw his arms out to his sides. “I mean you’re looking at the damn king of feeling unworthy! Hell, I had to listen to Sam ask me why so many times... I know you've had your share from the people you care about most in that house! The people who are scared because they feel they've seen this act before and they know what comes next. Maybe you've forgotten that I was the one who told myself that I could make my life mean something, that I could make it all worth it if I saved him if I did something that made it okay.”

Liz stayed silent. She let him speak his mind, to relieve some of that building tension in him but her mind was on other things. As she watched him and tried to pretend as though she was listening to his every word, her mind was assessing her own problems. This will only get them all killed. His love for me will blind him and I can’t let it blind me as well. This will only end badly. Why can’t he see that?

When his rant cut off she took the last step to him and wrapped her arms around him. She held him for a moment and felt him embrace her. She pulled herself away slowly, “I’ll look at it okay? I’m not trying to do anything but get everyone out alive, okay? I have to look at all options.” She gave a small smile and moved around him thankful that he didn’t try to stop her or follow her.

Dean watched her go into the shed and fumed. Did she seriously think that would just make him back off? He wanted to punch something, break something, maybe kill something. He strode off towards the trees and was thankful that they always found a place with enough space that they wouldn’t be bothered by neighbors or detected when practicing because it gave him plenty of space to vent. He needed to cool down because she wasn’t going to respond to him if he was angry. She was ready for that so he needed to change tactics.

Michael was walking towards the house from deep in the woods and saw Dean heading in just a couple yards away. "Hey.. Oh shit. What happened?" Dean continued to move in short tense movements and didn't seem to hear him. "Dean!" Dean stopped and turned towards the voice. "What the hell happened?"

"Fuck if I know! She really seemed to be getting better!"

Michael walked towards him. "Better?"

Dean kicked a tree then laid a hand on it as his jaw tensed. He turned his head away to hide the after effects of pain shooting up his leg. He sighed, "I don't know.. She was being normal, I guess. It was like she finally made a decision for whatever she had been wrestling with for months. Then a week ago.." He turned and leaned his back on the tree. "It just seemed like.. fuck." He shook his head.

"Dude she's gonna be fine.. She just. She takes everything on her shoulders when it comes to something like this. She feels responsible for everyone and everything because she thinks since she sees it she must be the one to change it but changing comes with a cost. She gets all up in her head and forgets the rest of us are here. We've always been the ones that have had to pull her back."

"Yeah well.. I don't think she wants me pulling her back."

"Shut the hell up.. You know damn well why she's doing what she's doing you just don't want to see it because it would make it easier to walk away when this is over." Dean's head snapped back to look at Michael, "yeah that's right. I know that feeling but let me tell you.. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life but letting Liz into my life.. choosing to let her be a friend instead of just the chick my brother was into. That was the best move I've ever made. Is she a little complicated? Hell yes.. but with all the shit going on in her head who wouldn't?"

"I get it Michael.."

Michael put his hands up, "I know where you are because I've been there. When you have this thing in your hands that could be the best thing in your life but there's so many possibilities to hurt..”

"Seriously dude. That's not even a question." Michael raised his brow. "I.. can't let her go and if she even thinks that a suicide mission for anyone would be okay.."

Michael's face seemed to clear. "Yeah.. She has a way of forgetting what's it's like to those of us left behind. Don't worry that's what we're here for."

Dean rubbed his face, "she makes it so frustrating. I'm not used to this shit.. I should be. I've done it to Sammy before and it makes me feel like such a prick for even saying anything to her but she needs to hear it. And believe me when I say I'm going to make sure she doesn't stop hearing it."

Michael smiled, "you and me both brother. You and me both."
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Re: RADIOACTIVE (XO SPN, D/L, Mature) Chap.37 11/16

Postby MelissaD » Sun Nov 16, 2014 3:04 pm

Chapter Thirty Seven
August 4th 2014

Liz moved tentatively through the house listening with every step she took. It was dark but she knew every inch of the house now so moving without light wasn’t a problem. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her palms were sweating. She stopped and closed her eyes forcing herself to take a deep breath and slow her heart rate. It wouldn’t do her any good to look like she was falling apart. It wouldn’t do anyone any good. When she felt more confident she continued down the hallway towards the stairs. When she was only steps away from the stairs she hesitated. She heard the television playing softly in the living room and questioned whether it was safe to chance it. She glanced back towards the back door that she had just come through what felt like an hour ago but really had only been a matter of minutes. Shouldn’t she just head back out? Wasn’t that the safest route?

"Something's up."

She jumped at the deep voice coming from the living room and thought of just making a break for it but she knew Castiel wasn’t the one she was hiding from and he somehow knew she was there.
She peeked in the room looking for any other occupants before slowly entering. She looked at the TV that Cas was staring at from the edge of the couch. "What do you mean?" Please don’t say me. I don’t think I could lie to you.

His gaze didn't leave the television. "I think he knows we're looking for him."

Liz's head snapped in his direction. "What? How do you know?"

He pointed to the TV, "diseases popping back up that haven't been in this country in years, religious genocide, people rioting in the streets, there's unprovoked acts of violence being reported everywhere. I mean there are even people fighting over the stupidest things."

"That's not exactly new Cas. Stuff like that is always being talked about on the news. It's how the news stations stay on top. That shit is their bread and butter."

Cas finally looked at her, "Elizabeth, the media is being bombarded with everything that points to the big bad. I mean look at this, a deadly virus..” He squinted at the small text scrolling across the bottom of the screen, “ebola was brought into this country the day after the Croatoan virus was released in the future Dean saw? Since Dean saw to the end of the Croatoan virus and a different deadly virus seems to pop up just like that? Why do you think that is?"

She let his use of her proper name slide and shrugged. "People are crazy and demons are just predictable?"

The dead pan look on his face almost made her laugh if it hadn't made the metal ball in her stomach sink lower. She looked to the television. "He knows but does he know that we know?"

"Good question. These are all distractions. We've seen it before whenever there's something big going on but I have no idea if this is trying to draw you toward him or away."

Liz sat heavily next to him and stared at the TV. "No. He'll draw us to him. He doesn't think we're any match for him and when he wants us to finally come to him he'll draw us closer because he's a badass."

He looked at her seriously. "I don't know but this could ramp up and become even worse."

She dropped her head into her hands and rubbed at her tired eyes. "We knew that from the very beginning. It's the end of him or the world."

"No pressure."

She barked out a laugh. She couldn’t tell if she should be thankful for his comical retort or just too damn tired to care about his very dean-like quip or maybe Kyle. “How very comical of you Castiel.”

A goofy smile lit his face. “I’ve been told it is best to lighten the mood when it gets too heavy.”

Liz smiled, “you have been taught well young skywalker.”

“I know that reference!”

Liz laughed harder than she had in the last month. It felt good but somehow it also hurt. Her stomach was killing her. Did she eat dinner?

Cas stood up from the couch, “hey I could eat. How ‘bout you?”

Liz eyed him. He had definitely been getting better at reading people recently but that was really hitting the mark. He just watched her waiting for her answer. “Yeah, I could eat.” She stood from the couch, “how did you know it was me in the hall?”

She followed him out of the room and he threw over his shoulder, “because who else would be wandering around this late? Isabel already went up to bed.”
The Next Morning.

Liz found herself staring into the bowl of the toilet dry heaving again. At least this time she didn’t have anything disgusting to retch up and burn her throat even more. When she felt confident enough to stand she turned the cold water on and washed her mouth out. She learned the hard way that toothpaste could cause the gagging to start all over again so she made sure there was mouth wash in every bathroom and an extra in her room so that she always had something to kill the burning sensation. She splashed some water on her face then turned the faucet off. She stared in the mirror and hated what looked back at her. That person was not strong, that girl needed to be in a sick ward not a war zone. She worried about a stomach virus or food poisoning but no one else seemed to be getting sick so she’d done her best to hide it the past twenty four hours. The 24 hour bug excuse only convinced people for 24 hours and she didn’t get sick often. “Damn stress.”

That had to be it. The stress from the dreams, from hiding, from everything that was too come in the next week was slowly squeezing the life out of her. Top it all off with everyone throwing their looks of concern, worry, and fear at her and it was all going to result in her death. Lucifer wouldn't even get the chance to look at her. She dried her face with the towel and waved her hand quickly over the tired, burnout, sickly looking woman’s face and carefully examined the results in the mirror. It wasn’t as good as it used to be but she didn’t have any makeup down here to help so it would have to work.

She opened the bathroom door and found Dean leaning against the door frame. "You finally surfaced. How are you feeling?"

Liz slipped through the doorway trying her best not to touch him with a silent bravo to herself for her quick thinking to hide the evidence of her sickness. "I just need rest. I need to get back to one hundred percent before we go."

She walked down the hallway towards the back door and dean followed, "right. Before we all go as a group to what could be our death."

"Don't say that."

"Which part? As a group or to our death?"


"Right. Because we're not going as a group."

"We’re going together in multiple groups. It's the only way we can all get in without being detected."

Liz pushed through the back door and he closed the door behind him then continued after her. "Then what? You're going to approach by yourself? Because that's the way you saw it?"

"What exactly are you trying to say?"

"That it's not all about you."

"It's not all about you either."

"Damnit Liz this is not a game!"

"No it's not but I seem to be the only one taking it seriously!"

"You're the only one pretending that you can do everything! We’re all in this, we all want him back!"

"This is the only way I know!"

"Bullshit! Look at me!"

She ignored him and made her way towards the shed. Dean caught up with her and grabbed her arm to spin her towards him. "Look at me and tell me this solo shit is the only way you know!"

She stared trying to keep her face blank and her emotions completely shut off while he watched her trying to get anything. "You can't. Because you know me, you know what we have between us, and you know that we have to be together to do this." His hand cupped her cheek, "but I need you to make it back after all this. Just making it through isn't everything. Dealing with the fall out, dealing with whatever the hell Lucifer has done to Sam's mind let alone his body. I need you to keep living."

"Don't say that." She tried to look away but he cupped her other cheek.

"Why? Because the possibility of you being everything to me is too much? When we met I was ready to give myself over to an angel to begin the end of the world and you crashed into my life.. Almost forced yourself into my life and now you're family. You're my life Liz and if you want to keep isolating yourself then fine! But don't pretend that you don't know what you are to all of us. You are not expendable."

“Thanks for the pep talk, now would you let me go? I needed to get some of the plans I drew up for the meeting Michael wanted to have tonight.”

Dean stared at her waiting for her façade to break but he was getting nothing. He was about to let her go then changed tactics and crashed his lips onto hers. He felt her try to pull away but stopped her with a hand softly holding the back of her head. When they finally came apart, she backed slowly away from him then turned and headed into the shed. He turned and started walking towards the house with a smile on his face. If she really wanted to she could have broken away from him, she could’ve broken the kiss at any time but she didn’t. He took that as a sign that he was getting through to her even if only a little bit. There was no way in hell he was cooling off anytime soon even if he had to stay on her ass until they left.
August 6th 2014

Isabel was standing at the window in her bedroom cradling a warm cup of coffee in her hands. She watched Michael and Liz walk to the shed, Liz moved easily but stiffly still trying to pretend nothing was wrong while Michael threw glances around. She wondered if Michael was doing it out of old paranoid habits or if he was worried he'd get caught in the middle of a fight between Liz and whoever wanted to call her out. Something was up and she wasn't fooling anyone. Leaving tomorrow left little room to get her to release her secrets but what if knowing what she knows didn't help them. What nightmares did she see at night? What horrors kept sleep at bay? Isabel sipped her coffee trying to count the amount of sleep she herself had gotten. As someone who wasn't sleeping much either she knew who was wandering around at night. Michael closed the shed door behind them and Isabel whispered to the window, “what do you see that scares you so much Liz?”

A soft tapping at her door made her turn from the window. A small smile graced her face. “Hey Ava.”

“Watching the morning crawl to the war room?”

Isabel chuckled and turned back to the window. “I was watching the sunrise but it's impossible to miss the morning stroll. Where’s Zan? I didn't see him.”

She waved it away, “he was practicing with Michael earlier and I'm sure he’s still out there. I think he’s feeling some pressure with the shield thing.. we’ve never done anything like it. If I didn't know any better I’d say he was a boy scout in another life.” She smiled then looked towards the window. “I've been trying to get her to talk to me about the dreams. The only thing she has told me is that it goes wrong sometimes and that it's not pretty when it does. You don't think she’ll.. fall back into that.. I mean she's been disappearing a lot even from dean. Specially from dean.”

“There's no alien device shoving her into that deep..” She glanced towards the window, “no I don't think she’ll go there. She’s too concerned for Sam and when she has a goal she’s got something keeping her focused.”

“I've noticed Liz isn't the only one concerned for Sam. Not that I wouldn't be in your position but you've been getting increasingly quiet and for you.. Well.” She shrugged. “It's weird.” She held her hands up in surrender when Isabel raised an eyebrow. “I’ve seen the looks that cross your face and keeping all that crap locked up in there is gonna make you age.. badly.” She smirked at Isabel’s frown.

“Low blow aves.” The corner of her mouth quirked up. “You're so mean.” She walked to her bed and sat down.

“Somebody's got to do the dirty work to keep this well-oiled machine working properly.” Ava sat down next to her and waited, knowing Isabel would open up when she was ready. Unlike Liz who seemed like nothing could crack that lock these days.

Isabel’s voice was barely a whisper. “What if it's been too long? What if Sam’s not even in there anymore and all of this is for nothing but giving him a proper burial?”

Ava felt like she had been punched in the gut. How had she not thought of that but then why would she? It's always been about saving him so where..? “Isabel, is this because you haven't been able to reach him?” She watched the other girl closely and didn't like the slump of her shoulders.

Isabel’s gaze came up to meet Ava’s and she felt the grief slam through the small connection they had. “It's because I have. Sometimes.. and it's awful.” She brushed the tear away and took a deep breath, “but if he is already gone then I refuse to allow him to use his body any longer. I don't have the heart to voice it to anyone because I don't want it to be true but..”

Ava laid her hand flat on her back. “Isabel.. He could just be playing you, trying to knock you down so that you won't come after him.” She moved her hand in small circles releasing a bit of warmth to the tense muscles there.

“Either way in two days, it will be over.”

“Yeah.. the only thing I’m worried about is it being over for more than just him.” Ava spoke one of her fears.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve just noticed some things with Liz that make me think..”

“Think what?”

Ava got up and moved to the window. “You’ve seen her and I know you’re not taking the stomach bug seriously either. What if it is some kind of crazy sickness? Alien or not, what if something is really wrong? Maybe she’s been so into this future business she’s actually worrying herself sick. Lack of sleep can kill you, you know.”

She felt a chill run down her spine. “Come on. It takes like two weeks of no sleep to actually kill you.”

Ava turned from the window to look back at her. “Can you say for sure when she slept last?”

Isabel looked down at her hands, the coffee completely forgotten and cold. She warmed it with a small release of energy. “That makes the two of us.” Isabel looked up at her friend. “I’ll see if I can get her to talk about it.”
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Re: RADIOACTIVE (XO SPN, D/L, Mature) Chap.38 12/8

Postby MelissaD » Mon Dec 08, 2014 4:00 pm

OH MY GOODNESS!!! I thought this was posted before I went to my brother's for thanksgiving! I am so sorry for this grave injustice! :lol: Okay, so we're getting down to it. The next part is the prologue but I'll post it in order so you don't have to go back and forth.

mzzcocoa: Yes, I do have pieces of the sequel written. I'm sure once this one is finished I'll be filling in the blanks with that one. I have seen similarities in some of my stories and know that's going to happen when its essentially the same characters but I have noticed that stories that were first thought up or written while I was pregnant have babies in them.. LOL
As an extra little piece of hope- I have a hard time leaving things unfinished so the perception sequel that already has quite a few Microsoft docs in its folder will most likely be what I'll spend my free time dabbling with next!

Chapter Thirty Eight
August 6th 2014
Later that night.

Dean slipped out of the house knowing Liz was wandering around outside on one of her restless evening jaunts. He caught the movement to his right a few yards away. He circled around the house and slipped into the tree line taking care not to trip any of the sensors. He moved quietly towards the area he saw movement and waited then he saw her leaving the tree line heading towards the shed. She must have been on her another patrol around the area most likely because she felt the sensors that surrounded their perimeter weren't enough for someone with so much out of her control. He slipped out and quickly but carefully made up the ground between them and caught up with her just behind the shed. He grabbed her and pressed her against the back wall.

Slightly shocked that he had stepped up from stalking to grabbing her, she shouted a sharp reprimand, “Dean!”

“What if I were to put pressure right here.” His hand covered her hip and he squeezed giving just enough pressure that he could practically feel her blood rev through her veins. “Or what if I kissed you just so.. right where I know drives you wild.” His lips hovered just above the pulse point on her neck, “would you continue to ignore me? Could you continue to avoid me?”

“Dean.” She turned her head away, her voice lower than a whisper. She tried to stop her body from responding but it was impossible. “Please stop.” The tone of her voice went against the words she spoke revealing the inner battle between heart and mind. She closed her eyes and hoped that he would but wished that he didn't. The feel of his lips on her skin could do wondrous things and the fire that flared when he was near her was almost uncontrollable recently but the risk of him finding out the possible end of this whole nightmare was too much. She was more torn in that moment than she had been in so long, too long. She felt the warm regret roll down her cheek and the pressure at her hip eased up. She opened her eyes, her vision slightly blurred by the tears, but she could see his face easily. He was staring at her, his face almost unreadable except for the mixture of concern and pain. His hesitant hands and lips now making sense, as much as he was confident in her feelings for him he was still not one hundred percent certain she wouldn’t turn him away.

“I know you’re not afraid of me, I know you want me.” He came closer to her face and her breath hitched as her body arched towards him against part of her will. “So why all the hiding? Why the charade? Because you think if I don't have you.. it won’t hurt as much? You think if I can't remember what your lips feel like I won't miss them? It's impossible and I don't know how you think it would change anything.” He put the pressure back on her hip as his other hand slipped under her shirt fingers gently swiping up her back, his lips descended onto her neck hitting the sweet spot below her ear. “I can feel the fire racing through your veins.. I can feel your heart spurring me to continue.” He felt the shiver run through her then she froze. “So why do you fight me? Avoid me and pretend that it’s not happening? We’re going up against Lucifer and you think for a second that it will matter if we.. give in tonight? If I take you right here.. you think that will somehow make us weaker?”

Her breath hitched as his fingers toyed just inside her jeans along the top of her underwear. His breath moved against her heated skin as she internally screamed for him to keep going. Her protesting voice was shaky, “I..”

He whispered against her skin. “You said I could have you and I know you meant it.” His hands slid up her sides once again under her tee shirt.

Her eyes held his and she felt her resolve weaken. What would be so bad? They only had a half a day left. As much as she wanted to deny it, she felt better around him like her body was trying to tell her that he was what she needed. She knew that was ridiculous but maybe just.. once she could listen to what her body craved. She crashed her lips to his before she realized she had even made up her mind.

Liz forced her eyes open knowing she had to pee when she felt a cool breeze brush her bare skin. Her eyes popped open and she realized they had passed out after their very spontaneous and passionate bout of sex.. outdoors. The ominous dark clouds were already whispering of nothing good and for a second she feared she had changed something again. She felt a flutter in her stomach as she untangled his limbs from hers. At least she had the sense to put her shorts back on before passing out. She looked up at the sky and frowned, must be a summer storm rolling in. That's all. Not foreboding or anything. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that.” She whispered to herself.

She grabbed the shirt that her head was resting on and shook it out then slipped it over her head. She heard him stirring when she stood up. She glanced back at him and felt the first few drops on her face. “I’m going to the bathroom and a storm’s coming. You should probably get inside too.” She saw his eyes open slightly peeking towards the sky then she started for the house. “Or get soaked, you need a shower anyway.” She heard the rustling and knew he was moving fast to catch up. She felt the flutter again. Her stomach turned and she picked up her pace not wanting to throw up outside in front of him.

“Hey, wait up.”

“Seriously, I need to pee!” She was so close to the back door and just inside she could slip into the bathroom and lock the door. He jumped ahead of her and opened the door with a grin. She stopped as her stomach fluttered and his hand pressed against the small of her back. The nausea disappeared and warmth spread throughout her abdomen. “No.” The thought slammed into her chest and knocked the air from her lungs.

“What? I can’t open the door for you?” He smirked, “come on, after that I think I can be a gentleman.”

She nodded dumbly and forced her feet to move. She stepped mechanically into the house then came back to herself when she saw the bathroom door. She bolted for it, slammed the door behind her then turned the lock. She heard him chuckle as he passed by, obviously completely unaware of her panic. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen. I’ll make you a plate.”

The smell of bacon and sausage was strong but didn’t register because her mind was too preoccupied. She stood inside the bathroom staring at the image of the short, dark haired woman in the mirror unable to tear her wide eyes away from her flat abdomen. Her stomach churned more with every step he took away from her. She pulled up her shirt and laid her palm against her abdomen and felt the nausea pass and warmth swirl. “Oh shit.”

Later that night.

Liz found herself moving through the trees on auto pilot as her mind whirled at a speed she could barely keep up with. After spending as much time as she could in the dining room with the group she had slipped away before anyone would notice or got the chance to start asking her questions again. When she finally stopped she was standing in the middle of a small clearing and her vision was blurry at best. She looked up at the stars and words tumbled from her lips, "where are you max? You said you'd be here when I needed you. I need you, I need help.” She stared at the little balls of light that seemed to twinkle in spite of her turmoil. "You said everything would work out.. that I.. that I had a future if only I let go of you! You lied to me! You said.." Her face fell and she touched her stomach softly, "you said I'd be a wonderful mother." Her hands balled up tightly. "You son of a bitch! You knew all along that this would happen! Why didn't you just tell me?! You had to be secretive but you slipped that in there. Just couldn’t help yourself! You didn't say anything about it being like this! I thought you were just trying to get me to.. I don't know have hope or some shit!"

She screamed to the sky, "HOW IS THIS HOPE?" A green bolt of energy shot from her hand striking a nearby tree and she flinched.

"You're forcing me to make an impossible decision. I.. I can't. I can't do this." She shook her head and felt her entire body start to tremble and she fell to her knees as the sobs she had been trying to shove down ripped from her throat.

After a few minutes, her cries tapered off leaving her with rhythmic hiccups and those awkward quick sporadic breathes she hated after a hard cry. Her throat felt raw and rough. She whispered to the quiet night, "you didn't make me do anything but if you saw this.. You could've warned me. I would've.. I could've made sure.." Her eyes fell to her stomach and she felt the anger in her turn into a deep sadness. "I'm sorry. I can't say that but what do I have to give you? Even if.. we make it out of this tomorrow I can't give you a real life. When will it ever be safe for you? How could I make sure.. A parent is supposed to.. God this is just crazy!" She looked back up at the sky, "talk to me damn it! Tell me what to do! How the hell am I supposed to do any of this?"

She fell back on her haunches and wiped her face with her shirt sleeve. She sat quietly letting the stillness of the night envelope her as she waited for him, for someone that she never thought she'd see again but hoped and prayed would show up and help her in the 11th hour. She needed someone to give her an answer because she was completely lost. “Please help me.” She whispered.

Isabel had kept her attention on Liz once she had finally surfaced for dinner. Isabel wasn’t sure who else noticed her silence during the meal or how quickly she slipped away after but she was on a mission to get through to the silent girl. She figured she had to give her credit for staying in the room during the meal considering she had been scarce all day but she was running out of time to talk to her before they left. Isabel checked her watch, less than two hours before they headed out. Everyone was so involved in packing, double checking their bags or plans, and whatever else was taking up their attention but Isabel was well aware there was one person who was still missing from the house. She knew her best bet was in the woods somewhere so she made her way through the maze of trees focusing on the thin filaments of connection she had with her troubled friend. She felt the flare of familiarity and found her sitting with her back against a tree at the edge of a clearing staring at the sky.

Isabel took a breath and gently started the conversation she’d already had in her mind too many times that day in preparation. “You know I understand that you’re trying your best but we’re stronger when we're together and doing this isn't going to help get him back.” Isabel touched her shoulder gently and gasped from the worries swirling in her friend’s mind that almost seemed to be shouted across the connection. Her eyes widened, “Liz..”

Liz’s eyes darted up to Isabel’s and Liz knew. She closed her eyes and tilted her head down. “Don't say it.”

Isabel balked, “you knew?”

“I suspected this morning.. I've been trying to wrap my head around it but I can't.. I can't bring Sam home if I'm scared about something being a possibility when it just can't.”

Isabel pulled her hand away. “It's more than just a possibility! There's a child in there..”

Liz stood up and turned away from her, “Iz I can't. It’s just not possi..”

“That's Sam's niece or nephew! You think he's going to be okay with you just giving your life and that baby's for his? And what about dean? Jesus! This is..”

Liz whipped back around to face her. “What about you! Huh? Dreaming about him and not telling anyone? I know you can keep a secret and this one is mine! Mine! No one will know!”
Isabel’s eyes widened. She stared at Liz horrified. Silence fell between them until they both jumped at the sound of a twig snapping behind them. Serena walked around a tree and stared at Liz. "I think no one is a little off."

Liz’s mouth opened with an angry retort on her tongue but she closed her mouth without a word instead. She shoved her hair away from her face and turned away from them.

“Are you kidding me?” Serena stepped towards her.

“What? I've been trying to figure out this mess in my head.. I can't take my focus off that because of a small rise in HCG in my blood stream when I already know it’s not a possibility anyway!”

“A small rise.. Fuck." Serena grabbed Liz’s arm and spun her around to face her then grabbed her other arm to keep her from moving away. "I know you have this whole world on your shoulders bullshit when things get stressed but this is ridiculous! There is a child, not a small amount of chemicals, a child growing inside you no matter how much you want to run from that possibility. Obviously, at some point deep down you wanted that chance and unconsciously or not you healed that part of yourself and you’ve created life. So let us help you and stop this shitty screwed up logic!" Serena stared at the tears in Liz’s eyes. "You need to let us in. That's the whole reason we're together."

Isabel stepped forward, "did you know ser?"

Serena looked over her shoulder at Isabel, "about your dreams or her?” Isabel raised her brow and Serena moved to the more pressing matter, “I thought I felt something different with her but I couldn't pinpoint it.” Serena looked back to Liz and released her arms. “I came out here to figure it out and overheard you two give it away instead."

Liz stared at the ground then slowly lowered to it, first on her knees then back on her haunches. They watched her almost fold in on herself. Her whisper was almost lost in the darkness, "I can't tell him. He'd never let me go near.."

"Maybe that's a smart idea Liz." Isabel interrupted.

Liz shook her head and her eyes shot up to meet Isabel’s gaze. "no. The only chance we have is with me. I've seen that much. We need everyone. We follow the plan and we get him back.”

“We get everyone back.” Isabel said.

Serena watched as Liz looked away from them again. “That’s the plan, isn’t it? Liz?”

Liz looked up from her seat on the ground with tears that she thought were long gone. “That is the plan but my dreams have been all over the place. We need to follow the plan.. no changes.” Her eyes fell away for a few seconds then she swiped at her cheeks. “In a couple hours we leave for the last piece of this nightmare. One way or another Lucifer’s reign ends today. None of you can say a word because if we change.. anything.. the ripples of effect could be devastating and I’m not going to let this turn into a massacre. We follow the plan and things can get better. If not.. then we could all die.”

Serena and Isabel looked at each other but neither wanted to voice the big change that had already been brought to light. It seemed a silent agreement was made between them, they play it by ear but they had to keep a close eye on their friend because they both knew when it came down to it she might just throw herself on the sword.
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Re: RADIOACTIVE (XO SPN, D/L, Mature) Chap.39 12/8

Postby MelissaD » Mon Dec 08, 2014 4:07 pm

Chapter Thirty Nine

A battle worn Liz Parker dropped her rifle then herself to the ground. She ripped the sleeves off her shirt to tie around the open wound on her leg to stanch the bleeding. Saving her energy was of utmost importance right now. They had come too far to blow it all to hell at the final moment and she lived with pain far worse than this. Taking full advantage of the brief respite, she took a deep breath as she rested her head against the foundation of the building behind her. She almost immediately regretted that decision as her lungs filled with soot and whatever else was floating in the air around her that caused a choking, coughing fit, her body’s own way of violently rejecting the large intake. One look at her skin confirmed the slight glow she thought might show as the part of her DNA, which could only be classified as alien worked, quickly to eradicate the unwanted chemicals trying to gain access.

The air still reeked of sulfur, burning flesh, and gun powder but it was the smoke from the still raging fires that really made her lungs burn since she stepped foot on the decrepit property. She knew she wouldn’t be able to see whatever virus it was circulating in the air this close to their target but they had known enough to guard their non-enhanced friends to the invisible weapons of warfare their enemies would most likely be using. Everything else was merely for show, ambiance for those who wished to wreak havoc on the world or at least the parts they had been able to gain control of so far. She thought of the flaming carcass of a yellow school bus on the side of the road that led onto the property. She had wondered if this had been a school at one time, imagining children running around a well maintained property but the image vanished when she remembered the blueprints for the building. It was more likely a prison than a school and the bus was probably stolen before it ended up in its fiery grave. A trophy maybe or simply just some depraved idea of a centerpiece, a welcome sign for those of like minds.

Liz scanned the surrounding area of trees and heavy brush. Why had Lucifer chosen such a well-covered building? In one way it made the building hard to find but if one knew what she was looking for, she had enough cover to get there quietly without being seen. Of course, that would be true if they weren't dealing with an extremely powerful angel. Her gaze landed on familiar green eyes with their deep sadness yet resounding strength and drive. She pulled the rifle onto her lap careful not to touch her leg while using the weapon to hide the crude bandage there. She watched the concern flash across his face for just a second before the soldier's facade fell back into place. She nodded once with a small smirk hiding the throbbing pain lancing through her entire leg with every small movement. Dean gave a stiff nod in return and his eyes lingered on her for more than they should have. It made her smile when she thought about the fact that he actually thought he was hiding his feelings for her when in reality he was the only one who bought it.

He motioned to someone behind him and Michael stepped into view. She lifted her rifle and stood slowly using the wall behind her to take more weight as Isabel and Ava stepped out of the tree line just behind Michael. A few more hand motions and she knew they were moving forward towards the back of the building.

Liz moved carefully alongside the building trying her best not to drag her leg while staying underneath the windows until she heard the snap of a twig behind her. She spun around, gun up with her finger pressed gently against the trigger, and cursed in whispered anger at the tense face in front of her. "Son of a bitch Cas! I could have killed you!"

She lowered her gun and rolled her eyes at the apologetic look on his face, "sorry. I thought Dean told you he was sending me to help you." Anger flared in her eyes and he amended, "watch your back I meant." He chuckled nervously, "never hurts to have another set of eyes."

Liz eyed him, "leave it to him to change things last minute."

Cas gave her a look that spoke of his understanding but also the fact that he was against her little move. "He wasn't the only one."

She turned away ignoring the worried glance she knew would come. That was why she had broken off in the first place, well the ambush of demons gave her an out that was just too good to deny. She needed to escape the worried, concerned glances that were inevitable by certain knowing eyes in her group. Those god damn worried glances. She hated them more than anything she ever dealt with in her life and that said a lot.

They moved carefully towards their next point just at the edge of the building on the right side of the garden hidden behind it. Liz felt the energy bubbling along her veins and the sudden rush of adrenaline knowing they had finally come to that moment of life or death, victory or failure. Once again, it felt like it all whittled down to who had the best plan and who was willing to sacrifice the most for their endgame. She took a shuttered breath and steeled her bones, feeling the same preparation from the aliens around her. It was almost hard to believe that it was finally time to see who had the most fight, the quickest reflex, and the highest price to lose. Or maybe just who had the best tricks up their sleeve although she might settle for the advantage of surprise.

She peeked around the edge of the building but couldn't see beyond a large bush blocking her view to the center of the garden. "Damn it, where the hell did this bush come from?"

Cas leaned out from the building and saw the inconvenient placement of the plant, "that was not there when we did surveillance." At her silence he pulled back and looked at her curiously. Her face clearly showed she was not amused, "what? It wasn't."

She rolled her eyes and scanned the area for a better place to hide and see the target. She took two steps forward and her foot twisted on the uneven ground, something that probably wouldn't have been as bad if she wasn't putting so much weight on that damn foot in first place. She let out a whispered curse as she fell back on her injured leg that sent another jolt of pain. Her leg wouldn't hold her full weight and she felt her knee buckle. Before her body could hit the ground, two arms caught her and started to pull her back to the building. She whispered, "thanks Cas."

Cas stepped in front of her, his back to her with his gun pointed at the surrounding area. He was covering her, not carrying her. She stared at him confused as the arms that caught her slowly put her down. She turned her head seeing the familiar face, "Zan?"

He knelt down beside her, his hand pressing gently to the soaked through shirt sleeves on her leg, "we didn't miss it and you need your strength."

Liz tried to push his hand away, "we need you too! You can't waste your energy!"

His calm amber eyes met hers as his hand started to glow, "if you're not at full strength then I won't even get the chance to save him Liz."

She stared into his determined eyes wanting to fight him but knowing he was right. "Fine just stop the bleeding. You can fix the rest later." He dropped his eyes to her leg. She was thankful that it no longer hurt to look at him, that his touch no longer made her think of Max and caused her chest to ache.

Zan lifted his hand then stood and held out his hand for her, "come on. Let’s go save your brother in law."

Liz grabbed the offered hand and lifted herself, putting weight on her leg. She grinned at the lack of pain then rolled her eyes at his words. "Very funny, Z."

Cas glanced behind him, "are you ready? We need to move into place, we don't have much time."

Liz nodded and lifted her rifle, "let’s end this."

They moved quickly to a tree large enough to hide them but also within hearing range of the target. She glanced around the trunk and saw him standing in front of a rose brush. She turned to Cas and Zan, her eyes meeting Zan’s. "Let Ava know our new position and that we're ready."

Liz turned back to the garden and focused on the entrance on the other side. She knew that once Ava gave the word, Dean would stroll through and distract their target long enough to give them time to move in without being detected at least until they were close enough to trap him. Now they just needed everything to go as planned but she knew that wasn't exactly how things tended to work, she just hoped they had made enough back up plans to be able to handle whatever obstacles that could possibly come up. Then finally they'd be able to save Sam and she’d finally be able to tell Dean the truth and her child would have a chance to know their uncle.

Her hand unconsciously pressed against her flat stomach as the quiet thought flitted across her mind. The very reason those, very few, knowing eyes glanced at her with worry and concern. Some of the worry she was sure was because of her decision not to tell him, the one secret she was able to keep from Dean. She'd be damned if he tried something tricky to keep her out of this fight. If he knew, he'd do everything in his power to keep her from coming within sniffing distance of the fallen arch angel who was wearing Sam like a nicely tailored suit and held no love for the creations of his Father. No, there was no way in hell she'd stay out of this fight. She saw it, she had to be there. If she wasn't, they'd all fail. Okay, so maybe two secrets. For some reason, she was the keystone in this entire crazy ass scheme and she wasn't going to allow her friends to die. She'd lost too much in this life already. No one could blame her for her decisions because they would all do the same and some of them already had.
When Drifters Collide.

My pen to paper.


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