July 20, 2012

"Nothing in the world will allow me to become a Sheng Nu."

The term refers to  "all single woman above the age of 27" and means "unwanted."
"Men don't want a woman over 30. It's important for them that she's still pretty."
I thought there was a shortage of women in China. Why the strict standards?


Coketown said...

Nothing in the world except time, hon. Good luck. And I love how 40 is the point at which one is so "old and broken" that people just leave you alone. I hope my parents get that message someday. "Hey, stop bothering me about getting married. I'm 40 now. I'm old and broken, and you should just leave me alone." I doubt they will though.

ricpic said...

His smile sags
In conjunction with her dugs
So pair up quick
Before gravity tugs.

gerry said...

Cooper ligaments maintain breast integrity. Maybe Chinese men don't do for super dooper cooper droopers?

Scott said...

If you can't have something, you might as well have high standards for obtaining it.

I'm gay, so I don't get the age 27 thing. Personally I think that a fit man achieves peak attractiveness at around age 35.

John said...

"Why the strict standards?"

You really don't understand?

Luke Lea said...

I won't be surprised if the woman shortage leads to more women being forced into prostitution to meet the unsatisfied needs of unmarried men. The law of unintended consequences.

Sorun said...

Ladies, you should join a gym and take up yoga. You have the potential to be hot into your 40s and beyond.

traditionalguy said...

What's so wrong with shortage women in China, Do they need a ladder?

Seriously, the oriental custom is for a wife to be a servant to the husband until the kids are all raised, and then he becomes a servant to him.

Maybe starting at 30 screws with that custom.

Ralph L said...

Who needs sex-bots for women? Sell our excess women to China--help the trade deficit. People complain China doesn't consume enough. A few million Western women will change that in no time.

Sorun said...

"Are you single? Think about the feelings of your father/mother. Don't cause them more worry," read a sign on the entrance.

It'd be so funny to see that sign over a shop on State Street?

David said...

Why the strict standards?

Because there is a shortage of men that the women would be interested in. Those who have something to offer (read: money) are still in short supply.

edutcher said...

Smarty pants feminism (birthed by Commie agents) runs afoul of culture even Communism couldn't kill.

Irresistable force, meet immovable object.

Sorun said...


If a woman takes care of herself, she can look great in her 50s.

Even 60s.

pduggie said...

if there is a shortage, and everyone rejected the woman for 10-12 years, would you be the one to select her?

Dr.K said...

I lived in CHina for a year. The whole youth thing is a combination of a number of factors.

1) Chinese do not even consider dating until AFTER college. When a colleague showed a picture of his son and girlfriend going to the senior prom, the married women were horrified that the son was only 18 and had a girlfriend.

2) One child policy, part 1. Typically many women get married by 25 and pop a kid out before they are 30.

3) One child policy, part 2. The young "men" are generally spoiled brats and are called "little emperors". No educated (esp. western educated) women want to raise 2 children (the husband and kid).

4) One child policy, part 3. Dowry system is almost turned on its head with women in a position of power. Women demand proof that future husbands are in well paying (per China standards) jobs and can provide for family.

Just my observations.

Marshal said...

"I just want someone with whom I share things in common, but who is also in a better financial situation than me."

This sounds like the circumstance is of their own making. Men, lower your standards. Except you over there with with last year's sweater on. You're not good enough for me.

Don't whine like a victim when you're imposing the same style of broad brush standards you're decrying.

dbp said...

"Why the strict standards?"

Because Chinese men are delusional?

TMink said...

"Why the strict standards?"


And status.


Craig Landon said...

Visit the "A Foreign Affair" website (www.loveme.com) to see a plethora of these women looking eastward (to the West, strangely enough).

Biff said...

Has there ever been a handsome Chinese man?
Name one.

Eric said...

Has there ever been a handsome Chinese man?
Name one.

Quite a few women find Chow Yun Fat attractive (well, when he was younger, anyway). Same with Tony Leung and Anthony Wong. Chinese cinema is full of men over which Chinese women swoon.

Eric said...

Why the strict standards?

Fertility, probably. In China the family is still very much involved in the selection of mates for their children. I'm guessing the parents want to balance the odds in their favor when it comes to grandchildren, and a woman's fertility starts to drop off in her late 20s.

Dale Light said...

I have traveled extensively in China, am married to a Chinese woman, and have several Chinese friends and relatives, so I have some basis from which to speak. I would concur generally with Dr. K's observations but would qualify them in a couple of ways. First, there is an enormous cultural difference between rural and urban China, especially wrt women's status -- there are also important class and generational differences in attitude; second, diaspora Chinese women tend to think differently from those who remain in China. Finally, I would note that whoever said that Chinese women are subservient to their husbands has never been married to a Chinese woman.

Foobarista said...

There is more than physical beauty at issue; older, successful - and unmarried - women in China have no easier time finding suitable husbands than their counterparts in the US.

If anything, it's worse, since for any reasonably successful and available Chinese man, there are hundreds of hot young babes chasing him. There is a shortage of women by percentages, but there's certainly no shortage of women who want to marry "up" if they can.

My wife is from Shanghai, and several of her friends there are successful "shengnu". This topic comes up often when we go visit them.

Rick67 said...

I pastor a small church for internationals, and about half the people who participate in our activities are mainland Chinese.

I have had conversations with Chinese friends about this. I appreciate the *informed* comments by Dr K, Dale, and Foobarista.

Also Chinese parents (and to a lesser extent these Chinese women) have high expectations. They naturally want their bright, educated daughters to marry someone who is at least the same social-economic-educational level. Also they often want that man to have a job *and a home/apartment* which is becoming increasingly difficult in China as the prices are reaching low orbital altitude.

This is apparently a growing problem, but primarily in the cities. One thing I learned from my visiting China is how much when the West thinks of "China" they focus on the cities. 90% of Chinese people live in the countryside.

Jason (the commenter) said...

If these Sheng Nu want a husband they should come to America.

Foobarista said...

Rick67, according to PRC data, 51% of Chinese live in urban areas. One thing that shocked me in my recent visit was seeing "ghost towns" in Anhui where everyone but a few old people had left for the cities.


Anonymous said...

Scott:"Personally I think that a fit man achieves peak attractiveness at around age 35."

You are absolutely right. A woman looks the best at age 26-32.

bagoh20 said...

Nothing made entirely by the Chinese ever lasts more than a couple uses. You have to keep throwing the damned things away and buying new ones.

Just buy American. Our women are made from the finest domestic materials and built with American labor. Unfortunately, they are no longer guaranteed for life. It has something to do with less than robust programming of the firmware.

bagoh20 said...

The older I get the better women look of all ages. It's a shame I didn't pay more attention when I was young and they actually let me near them.

Although I sometimes joke about switching teams, I honestly don't understand why all women aren't gay. Women are just amazingly beautiful creatures, while even the best looking man would not catch my eye. I know what an attractive man is, but I just don't get it. Men are like a rough draft God went through on the way to the feminine form. That's why we always used them for cannon fodder.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Palladian said...


Definitely don't switch "teams". We don't need any blind players.

bagoh20 said...

"We don't need any blind players."

That's a good description, and why I know I can't switch. Men are practically invisible to me. I wish I could appreciate men as you do. If it's anything like I enjoy women, then it must be wonderful. To fully appreciate both seems like and advantage, but what can you do? It's genetic, you know.

ed said...

@ Dale Light


You got that right.

A friend of mine is married to a Chinese woman originally from Shanghai and she can give him Hell at the drop of a hat. And in either English or Chinese. The latter so he doesn't even know what he did wrong. My mother, South Korean, was the same way.

For years I avoided Asian women because I could see the inner control freak struggling to come out. :)

SGT Ted said...

Gold digging control freaks complain and wonder why no wants them after age 30, after they state their clear preference for cash value in their future men?

I think I see your problem, ma'am...your unrealistic expectation module is pegged out.

James Taranto said...

All explained at http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304692804577281581288138216.html

Fred Drinkwater said...

@Dale Light & ed:
I think we've hit on a key element here, namely the Shanghai factor. My wife's mother is from Shanghai, and the mother, my wife, and her numerous sisters are (what's the extreme opposite of "subservient"?)

MarkD said...

Fred Drinkwater,

I thought it was "Japanese." So many peope mistake "polite in public" with "subservient." They are not synonyms. Subservient goes with Asian Woman like gasoline goes with barbecue.