Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Lake Tahoe Fire, Immigration Coverage, The Dangers of Wrestling, Raw Politics, Smithsonian Waste, And More Madagascar (Tuesday's First Hour)

Edit: I just decided to skip the second hour since there was literally only like 10 minutes of blogable material. The review for the train wreck that was Wednesday night's show will be up Thursday evening.

Hi everybody. Guess what. The transcripts are back! And right after I typed that I knocked on wood, so I think we're covered. We begin tonight with the BREAKING NEWS of a big fire raging near Lake Tahoe. You know, I should start keeping track of the percentage of nights they begin with BREAKING NEWS because we're already two for two this week. Anyway, Kara Finnstrom (who?) is on the scene and she tells us that the fire has actually jumped a fire line. Houses have been destroyed and people are being evacuated. It's the same (unfortunately) increasingly common drill we've seen before. Another perk of our planet in peril, I suppose.

Next up we have an Anderson Cooper piece on the immigration debate and how nothing ever seems to actually happen. Oh, there's talk. There's even talk about talking. But actually dealing with the problem? Yeah, we don't do that here. I think 360 must be as bored with this issue as I am because they've resorted to video metaphors. Washington DC is said to blow a lot of hot air and we get a visual of a hot air balloon. Congress is represented by a hamster on a wheel. Ha! We learn that the virtual fence isn't working due to technical bugs and the real fence has barely been started. Then of course there's the requisite Lou Dobbs clip (it's in his contract, people!). And from Bush we learn that "amnesty means that you have got to pay, you know, a price for having been here illegally. And this bill does that." Um, what? After the piece Anderson says the White House has clarified, saying the president meant the exact opposite of what he said. Hey, maybe this is Bush's problem. I know I'd like him better if he actually meant the opposite of everything he said.

On now to a Gary Tuchman piece on criminals that are illegally sneaking into our country. Yes, I'm sure some would characterize anyone sneaking into the country as a criminal, but these are the bad dudes-murderers and whatnot. Obviously we really don't want them here, so Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is stepping up a program to catch the offenders and send them back home. Gary and team go with ICE on a raid to catch a man charged with murder in Mexico. They catch him, but don't tell him about the murder charge because that's Mexico's job. In fact, Gary and team have to keep mum about it too. ICE gives the guy a choice of going to jail in California or going back to Mexico. Of course he chooses to go back to Mexico because he thinks he'll be free there. Think again, buddy. You have chosen poorly. Once in Mexico, Gary finally gets to ask the guy about the murder, but he denies it. I bet Mexican prison sucks a lot more than California prison. Sucker. And yay to the taxpayers for not having to pay for him.

Next up we have an Ed Lavandera piece on a town in Texas where Spanish is the official language. Oh, Lou Dobbs is not going to like this. Okay, so El Cenizo is a little town of 6,500 people and the mayor (who is only 24!) has decided to translate all official business into Spanish, so that everybody can communicate. And now they're getting things done because they understand each other. Well, I guess whatever works. Most citizens of the town are legal Mexican immigrants, but a "local ordinance [that] prohibits city employees from turning in illegal immigrants" has caused quite a stir. As you might guess, the threats have been rolling in. For discussion on this we're joined by syndicated columnist Ruben Navarrette Jr. and Rick Oltman, director of Californians for Population Stabilization. Basically Rick thinks this Spanish thing is a problem because the economy is in English and kids need to know the language if they're going to have a shot at the American Dream. Ruben isn't all that troubled by what people are speaking, but he is troubled about the ordinance because he thinks that's a federal issue.

Transitioning now to a David Mattingly piece on professional wrestling. No, really. It's actually a pretty horrible story. Pro wrestler Chris Benoit murdered his family and then took his own life. He was only 40. Steroids and prescription medication were found in his home. In the piece we also learn that pro wrestling is a rough gig. In fact, "professional wrestlers are 20 times more likely to die before age 45 than professional football players." Pro wrestler Brian Christopher says "Me being a wrestler, I think, if you can make it to 45, you're doing pretty good. " Yikes. After the piece we're then joined by Brian to talk about wrestling. Brian tells us he knew Chris, and wrestling consumed him-he was always wanting to bulk up. Anderson asks about steroids and Brian says they've actually cracked down recently, though in the past it was bad. Anderson then brings up the "USA Today" article that provided many of the stats in the piece. Brian kind of laughs because for all he knows those quoted could be retired. Also, he clarifies his quote that was in the piece: "What I meant was, if you're -- if you live to be 45 years old and still competing in wrestling, you're doing very good, you know? You know, wrestling..." Bwah! Well that was quite out of context, wasn't it? So to sum up, wrestling is rough, but there may be less of a story here than what we're made to believe.

Back from commercial we get a little sampling of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" from Tears for Fears. At least that pick for 360's campaign song contest was relevant. On now to some "Raw Politics" with Tom Foreman and we begin with Giuliani kissing up to Pat Robertson. Oh Rudy, just when I thought I couldn't love you more. So okay, Giuliani is pro choice, Robertson is, um, not. What's a 9-11 exploiter to do? Well, he reinterates that this is not a one issue election. Well, unless that issue is what a hero he was on 9-11, of course. Next we have some new polls on 9-11's unrelated child, the Iraq war. Yeah, people aren't thrilled. Must be that whole death thing. Tom also tells us that Clinton seems to be wining and dining Warren Buffet. You're barking up the wrong tree there, Hillary. He gave all his money to Bill Gates, remember? Finally tonight, I think we're supposed to be all shocked that, "a big liberal advocacy group," has called a Democrat a dinosaur. But, um, he apparently was blocking efforts to combat global warming, so what's the what? After this we're live at the fire again.

Moving on now to a Joe Johns "Keeping Them Honest" piece on a cushy job at the Smithsonian. Okay, so tax dollars pay for the Smithsonian budget and it's just been discovered that we the people have been paying head guy Lawrence Small way more than we probably wanted to. A salary that got up to $915,000, a housing allowance, millions in stock, private jets...the guy had it good. And he didn't even work that much! He took off 64 days to serve on boards and 10 weeks (10 weeks!) of vacation. Dude, I want his job. But apparently this was all good under the Smithsonian's board of regents who so were not paying attention. But now they are and Small has resigned. I bet he's going to miss his lifestyle.

Next up we have a Jeff Corwin piece that continues the Madagascar coverage. Jeffs explains that scientists there are trying to assess the biodiversity of the area, so that they can provide proof of why the forest should be protected. In the piece we get to see Jeff attempt to catch a gecko, but it initially gives him a little trouble. Call Geico, Jeff. Anyway, he finally gets it and then we learn that they may have actually found a whole new species of gecko. This is very exciting to Jeff, but really, anything animal related is very exciting to Jeff. I kind of love it. Tonight's "What Were They Thinking?" is Paris Hilton's exit from the slammer. You know, everybody's laughing about the little strut they think she's doing for the cameras, but I think she's actually trying to walk like a normal person. Cat-walking for the cameras is so ingrained in her she simply can't do it! Bwah! Oh, and props to 360 for this being our only coverage tonight of she who shall not be named. Frankly, I was prepared to bitch them out. Heh.

The Shot tonight is two separate rescues. Now, about the show, what the hell is going on? Were regular viewers not supposed to notice that the show went to tape in the second hour after about 20 minutes? That's when I flipped off, BTW. And yesterday the whole hour was tape. So okay 360, excepting the specials, you're either a two hour live show or you aren't. Pick one. I don't even care which one you pick-just let us know. Man, I really hope CNN's not messing with primetime that much. I know Paula's probably out and Campbell Brown is probably in, but I'm still adjusting to no more O'Brien twins. Stop rocking my world! Well okay, not my world, but stop rocking the network that brings me the news about my world! Because it's annoying. First hour and 20 minutes gets an B.


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