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I know I haven't been on here a lot but... this is really the only… 
29th-Sep-2007 09:29 pm
I know I haven't been on here a lot but... this is really the only place I have left that is away from family and friends.

I mean, not that my friends on here aren't friends, but I mean... if I want to 'open up' about stuff, then I don't want my closest friends or brothers reading all the personal details.

Well... since I last wrote

I'm no longer single.

And I'm so happy about it, because I really... care for Dave. I feel comfortable with him as well... it's hard to explain really... but before we got together, we talked about where we wanted things to go and okay, it's a little early to talk about getting serious but... well, like Jaz said, whether we're together y'know 5 months or 5 years, we're gonna be getting on fine and enjoying ourselves.

I don't know how to break it to my parents though that some time or other I'm going to want to spend the night round his, and yes, it's a little early days because we haven't slept together yet but... long term, I've never been in a proper relationship, yes, I've done casual shit but nothing like... staying the night on a regular basis, knowing his parents and just simple things like showering or straghtening my hair at his place; going round his house and being invited in to wait for him... simple relationship stuff.

Last night was odd. We were kissing goodnight and I just realised that I couldn't get enough of him. I wanted to just bury myself into him, and maybe that isn't in just a sexual way but... I don't know, I said it was odd, hard to explain, really hard.

I'm a bit of a romantic so I can't wait for us to... evolve into the stage where I can just lick or bite or touch him for no other reason besides affection, which we sort of have at the moment - he'll kiss my temple or stroke my fingers but we're still a new couple.

And I don't know whether I want to be a two-part-person. I mean, Jaz and Steve, their names just roll off your tongue together and well, to be associated like that, as a couple, y'know, a proper couple, it's a little... daunting but... not unwanted, y'know?

I know I'm not making any a lot of sense but it's a very difficult topic to try and work out let alne put into coherent sentences.

If anyone has any advice (and does anyone use LJ anymore?) then that'd be greatly appreiciated, if anyone can determine what I mean y'know, empathy would be amazing right now.

29th-Sep-2007 10:33 pm (UTC)
Actually, reading this made me smile because I've been thinking the same sort of stuff about me 'n Adam this past week that we've both been back at uni. Though I had a long term boyfriend before, this is the first time I've had a relationship that wasn't solely of us just going out or spending a few hours round each others' houses- we do a lot more everyday stuff together, which I find very nice. I was a bit worried about becoming to much of a half person, but I guess with that you just have to see how it goes right?

Anyways, I be glad you're happy. ^-^ What else you up to these days my dear?
1st-Oct-2007 11:26 am (UTC)
I know exactly how you feel! I felt that way about my ex-boyfriend. I just wanted to melt into him sometimes. It's a normal feeling, enjoy it as long as it lasts.

As for the styaing the night part, even that comes naturally... At least, it did for me :)
1st-Oct-2007 04:16 pm (UTC)
I know exactly what you mean. It's scary and exciting and lovely all at the same time.
Sometimes I get a bit scared of how much I feel for my boyfriend. I don't want to become too attached and a two-part person as you say, but at the same time, it's nice to just drift away in those mushy feelings and enjoy the moment.
Dunno if that makes sense. Feelings are very complicated to explain!
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