Things I've Learned from My Children


The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.


A king-size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2,000-square-foot house four inches deep.

If you put hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.

A three-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.



When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh," it's already too late.


A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can do it only in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.


"Play-Doh" and "microwave" should never be used in the same sentence.

Superglue is forever.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.


Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. The fire department in Austin has a five-minute response time.


Regina McMullan


[ As Read On Car Talk ]