Friday, September 19, 2008

The 25 best exam blunders......

We all have to fail sometimes. But there's something glorious about failing with style.

A new book, “The best test paper blunders” give some great examples of exam answers from the most clueless - and inventive - of students. Some are very nearly right ("What happens to your body when taking a breath? Your chest gets bigger"), but some are very wrong indeed (Is the moon or the sun more important? The moon gives us sight at night when we need it. The sun only provides light in the day when we don't. Therefore the moon is more important). Laugh...and weep for the state of education!

1) Classical Studies
Question: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
Answer: Learning to speak Latin
2) Biology
Question: What is a fibula?
Answer: A little lie
3) General Studies
Answer: How much TV do you watch?
4) Classical Studies
Question: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death?
Answer: Suspicious ones
5) Biology
Question: Give an example of a smoking-related disease
Answer: Early death
6) Geography
Question: What are the Pyramids?
Answer: The Pyramids are a large mountain range which splits France and Spain
7) Biology
Question: What is a plasmid?
Answer: A high definition television
8) English
Question: In Pride and Prejudice, at what moment does Elizabeth Bennet realize her true feelings for Mr Darcy?
Answer: When she sees him coming out of the lake.
9) Geography
Question: What do we call a person forced to leave their home perhaps by a natural disaster or war, without having another home to go to.
Answer: Homeless
10) Religious Studies
Question: Christians only have one spouse, what is this called?
Answer: Monotony
11) Biology
Question: In the Hawaiian Islands, there are around 500 different species of fruit fly. Give a reason for this
Answer: There are approximately 500 varieties of fruit
12) Physics
Question: Name an environmental side effect of burning fossil fuels
Answer: Fire
13) Geography
Question: Define the term "intensive farming".
Answer: It is when a farmer never has a day off.
14) Maths
Question: Change 7/8 to a decimal
Answer: 7.8
15) Geography
Question: What does the term "lava" mean?
Answer: A pre-pubescent caterpillar
16) General Studies
Question: Redundancy is often an unpleasant and unexpected event in someone's life. Give two examples of unexpected life events.
Answer: 1) death 2) Reincarnation
17) History
Question: What was introduced in the Children's Charter of 1908?
Answer: Children
18) Business Studies
Question: Explain the word "wholesaler".
Answer: Someone who sells you whole items - eg, a whole cake
19) Geography
Question: The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
Answer: Malaria
20) Geography
Question: What artificial waterway runs between the Mediterranean and Red Seas?
Answer: The Sewage Canal
21) Geography
Question: Name one famous Greek landmark
Answer: The most famous Greek landmark is the Apocalypse
22) Maths
Question: Expand 2 (x + y)
Answer: 2 ( x + y )
2 ( x + y )
2 ( x + y )
23) Business Studies
Question: Assess Fashion House pls's choice to locate its factory near Birmingham. Is Birmingham the right location for this type of business?
Answer: No. People from Birmingham aren't very fashionable.
24) History
Question: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom.
25) History
Question: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
Answer: Unusual names.

Bathroom Cleaner Gets Golden Plunger Award

Steve Oswald isn't getting back the $156.94 he charged the city for cleaning a public bathroom. However, he did get the attention of city officials who promised to take better care of the bathroom — and honored his efforts Tuesday with the Golden Plunger Award.
Oswald, 45, said he didn't expect to be reimbursed after billing the west Michigan tourist town for the work he did last month. But he did say he appreciated the award, a toilet plunger spray-painted gold and set on an oak stand.
The city has replaced some of the fixtures in the bathroom and will hire a cleaning company to keep it tidy.
Mayor Tony Vettori was quoted by The Grand Rapids Press as saying he was glad Oswald "lifted the lid on this problem."

Woman Faces Federal Jail Time Over Spilled Soda

U.S. Attorney Tom Moss plans to bring two charges against Natalie Walters, 39, stemming from an Aug. 20 incident at the Boise Veterans Affairs Medical Center. If convicted, she could face up to six months in federal prison.
Walters, who routinely takes her father to the Boise hospital for treatment, said there is no posted price for soda refills at the center's cafeteria, and she's typically charged between $1 and $1.50 for filling her mug but, on Aug. 20, she was charged $3.80, which lead to the dispute and Walters dumping the soda on the cafeteria counter.

Bambi & Thumper