Quitter to Winner

Monday, September 13, 2010

INTERVIEW: How to Network with Career Coach Val Nelson

Val Nelson is a Career and Business Coach based in Northampton, Massachusetts. She helps people bring their superpowers and their hearts to work so they can have more clarity, more ease, and more impact. She specializes in helping introverts mobilize their unique strengths. She provides tips on her blog at www.valnelson.com.

Val spoke with Quitter to Winner about the art of networking.

Why do you think people are resistant to the idea of networking?

Most people I talk to have very low confidence in their networking. They struggle to understand what to do for networking, and they often think they are bad at it. Their lack of confidence in it even stops them from learning how to do it. Ironically, once they understand what effective networking really is, they usually become much more relaxed.

There are some people who think they know how to network effectively but then their results still aren't what they would hope. If it's not working, they are probably trying to network using some old-school (pushy, "salesy") method that doesn't work in today's world.

What are the main do's and don'ts of networking?

1. Be authentic! Don't put on a mask or try to be something you're not. Fakeness doesn't work.
2. Listen and ask questions to learn more about the person you're speaking to. When you respond, speak to their needs and how you might be able to help, if possible.
3. Be helpful. Even if you can't help them, refer them to someone else if possible. You'll be remembered by both parties.
4. Speak from the heart. Hopefully you're passionate about what you're offering so speak from that place -- so that it's obvious you care and that your work makes a real difference. That's the person that gets remembered. (If you're not passionate about what you're doing, get help from a career coach to resolve that.)
5. Follow-up and stay connected. So many people skip this step that you'll stand out if you do it. If there's a big interest, set up a meeting. If no interest is clear, touch base at a minimum by connecting on LinkedIn. It might be a year later that they'll refer someone to you, but only if you've stayed on their radar.

Can you offer any tips for networking on Facebook and Twitter?

Same philosophy applies there: Be authentic. Listen and ask questions. Be helpful. Speak from the heart. Follow-up. The #1 key to online networking is connecting your online and offline networking, as I described in more detail on my blog.

Your upcoming workshop focuses on networking for wallflowers and introverts. Can you give us a preview of some tips and topics covered?

For starters, I'm going to help people understand what networking is and isn't. It's so misunderstood! We tend to picture pushy salespeople working the room to get tons of business cards. That doesn't work, so you can let go of trying to be anything like that!

Then I'll help folks find the overlap between effective networking and what they actually enjoy!

I'll also help people understand what introversion really is. And I'll help them tap into their introvert strengths (such as listening) to become great networkers.

When people understand what effective networking is, and what introversion is, they often start to think that introverts might actually be better at networking than extroverts!

Then I'll help participants create their own unique networking plan, including with the help of a workbook and an individual follow-up session with me.

When I held this workshop a few months ago, I captured some of what the participants learned in this post: http://www.valnelson.com/introvert-power/networking-secrets-from-an-ex-wallflower/

Here's where folks can learn more or register for my workshop:

What are your networking recommendations for those thinking about a career reinvention?

1. You CAN make a transition, even in a down economy! Actually, you often HAVE to make a transition when the economy is changing. Make sure you choose wisely. Consider seeing a career coach to make sure you're on the right path before you waste time.
2. Make sure you have chosen a new direction that you're passionate about, because people will notice that passion and pay attention. Being on the right path for you not only makes you happier, it's also the way to get noticed!
3. Much of your networking is probably about exploration of possible directions. Let yourself be in exploration mode. It's OK not to have all the answers about what you're doing. It's OK to say "I'm exploring..."
4. If you're asking for informational interviews, respect that people have limited time but trust that they like to help. Ask for a specific amount of time and tell them the questions you'd like to ask. The more specific you are, the easier it is for them to say yes or to refer you to someone more appropriate.

Tell us the meaning behind your black swan logo, which I hear is relevant to this topic.

When I first saw a black swan, I was so struck that I had to stop and pay attention, because it was so unique, so unexpected. Yet, it was just sitting there, quietly on a pond. The message of the black swan is that if you are uniquely You, you will have the impact you want, in a way that is easy or even quiet.

From that inspiration, I created what I call my Black Swan Formula for success: More You = More Ease = More Impact.

In other words, the more you let people see your unique self, the easier it will be on you, AND the more impact you'll have!

I find this gives my coaching clients hope and guidance. So, you can see the swan means a lot to me.

How can people reach you for more information?

They can learn more about me, my work, and these ideas at http://www.valnelson.com. They can also contact me via my website. I offer free sample sessions so people can see if coaching might be useful for them. I provide both career coaching and business coaching, which means I help anyone get more clarity and more impact in their work.


  1. Great interview and great tips for networking! I've had some awesome conversations with Val and highly recommend checking her seminar out. Nice post!!

  2. Thanks Nunzio! And thanks Michael for a great job on the interview.

    I welcome any questions about networking and the workshop. Best place to post questions is on my Facebook Page so everyone can benefit: http://www.facebook.com/CoachValNelson
    Or message me privately via my website if you prefer.

  3. Thanks, Nunzio. You're welcome to pass along a link to this interview to your friends, colleagues and contacts.


    You can also find Quitter to Winner on Facebook and Twitter: www.facebook.com/QuittertoWinner, Twitter @QuittertoWinner.

    And thank you, Val, for your time and insight!

  4. Val, you offer great advice here! I especially appreciate the point that just as introversion is so often misunderstood, so is networking. Your points about authenticity, passion and listening really are ways that introverts can excel at what is generally regarded as a dreaded activity. The folks who take your workshop are definitely in for a treat! :-)

  5. Thanks you so Val for such a great advices you share on this blog i truly appreciate it.

    Career Coach