Owning the libs, a tale in three acts

Nike is coopting Colin Kaepernick’s protest by featuring him in an ad. It makes me slightly queasy to see Big Capitalism buying the face of a cause, but I’m not going to argue about that. Instead, the Trumpsters are losing their shit. They’re throwing away or setting their Nike clothing and shoes on fire in protest.

Which is fine — protesting is a great old tradition, they should publicly protest ideas they oppose. Kinda like how Kaepernick has been doing. So they’re protesting a guy protesting for protesting by protesting, and the irony is escaping them, as is the fact that destroying a product you’ve already purchased isn’t exactly doing Nike any harm.

It’s just stupid.

How stupid? Well, this one guy made it even stupider.

He announces his intent to burn his shoes. There’s some foreshadowing about what is to come here.

He asks everyone to retweet his principled act of bravery. OK! Happy to oblige! Uh, guy, shouldn’t you take the shoes off before you set them on fire?

Then, in the third act, the predictable outcome. You can guess where this is going. I’m putting this photo below the fold, because it is a bit grisly. He’s in the hospital now.

I am so pwnz0red. He sure taught me a lesson.


  1. BobApril says

    Commercializing the protest is questionable…but the funding is likely to help Kaepernick continue his legal battle.

  2. Snarki, child of Loki says

    “The misspellings in the first tweet, the name…this is obvious trolling.”

    Misspellings are the HALLMARK of Trumper authenticity, amirite?

  3. says

    Definitively fake/trolling. The last picture has been stolen from this page where it is used to illustrate burns on extremities (scroll down to the paragraph “Limbs”). File properties say that the picture was created (at least in its internet form) in November 2017.

  4. woozy says

    If you google Phil Braun he (or his fake persona– photo of the same person) drank a pint of mouthwash in order to get 100 retweets. So I guess this fictional persona of a dumb guy who does great physical harm to self for stupid reasons and then acts incredulous when he has bad reactions.

    I kind of wish there were a site other than the the right-wing idiocy of Twitchy that did the debunking though.

  5. unclefrogy says

    I would have expected the running suit he was wearing which is made of synthetic fibers to have caught fire not long after the last posted picture was taken leading to more severe burns on at least his legs.
    the pay day for the adds says more then the adds themselves. Nike knows their market.
    the Trumpsters did not make Nile a fashion statement.
    uncle frogy

  6. brucegee1962 says

    Yes, the sad thing is that it probably would have been worth Nike’s investment if they paid people to burn their shoes online for the free advertising.

    The sadder thing is that they knew they would not have to, because there would be sure to be people who would do it without being paid.

  7. petesh says

    Well, this is clearly fake BUT someone else tweeted (I’ve lost it but I’m sure it’s genuine) that they preferred Converse anyway. Converse is owned by Nike.

  8. robro says

    The part about Nike’s ad that bugs me is the message: “Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything.” Really? Perhaps it’s one of those statements that makes more sense in context, but “believe in something” could mean lots of things: believe in Trump, or racism, or white supremacy, or that cops are just doing their job, or that millionaire athletes protesting during the national anthem is un-American. I know quite a few people that believe all of those things, although they aren’t particularly at risk for sacrificing anything.

  9. says

    I don’t like the fact that Nike’s image is benefitting. On the other hand, I was glad to hear Kaepernick was still getting paid even though he wasn’t in any media campaigns.
    I have no objection to Kaepernick’s desire to play again, but I fear for his safety and hope he never does. Remember Sean Payton and his “bounties” for injuring opposing players? The SF 49ers and their “cripple block” tactics of the 1980s? Given the rampant racism of NFL owners, I suspect all of them would hand out bounties, including the team he plays for. There’s more than one piece of garbage like Richie Incognito willing to do it.

  10. Cynical Skeptic says

    That this is fake is a surprise? Maybe I’m more skeptical than I should be, but we need to stop just swallowing whole whatever fits our desired narrative. Personally I assume most ridiculous stuff is fake unless there is a good reason not to do so.

  11. Holms says

    How are the coopting the protest? It seems more accurate to say that they are treating him exacty as they normally would a prominent figure in sports. This suggests solidarity, or at least a refusal to shun. Which seems reasonable.

  12. johnhodges says

    Recognizing a joke, something that is originally meant to be a joke or a satire, is an uncertain business these days. As Dave Barry often says, “I am not making this up.” There is enough real craziness around, you can make a career in comedy just by reporting on the real craziness that you find. But if you risk mistaking something for a joke that is meant seriously, you also risk taking something seriously that is meant as a joke. When Elon Musk asked for volunteers to colonize Mars, he got 1.4 million people signing up, and I argued with some anonymous person on a website who thought that was 1.4 million real volunteers, instead of 1.4 million people making a comment about life on Earth.

  13. rrhain says

    Have you noticed that none of these people who are destroying their Nike clothing, due to some claim of “disrespecting our military,” has considered donating these articles of clothing to homeless veterans?

    Could it possibly be that they don’t actually care about the military?

  14. Ichthyic says

    watched a video of a guy eating 3 “Tide” washing machine detergent “pods”.

    It was supposed to be an internet “challenge” between several wannabe popular youtubers, though the others participating did not ever intend to actually try eating any of the pods.

    Well, he bit down on them; that was all it took. He nearly died because of how strong detergents affect anything with a mucous membrane. didn’t matter that he didn’t actually try to swallow any; involuntary reflexes got enough of it down his throat that it started to cause his esophagus to start sluffing nearly immediately, which caused coughing, which caused him to inhale droplets of detergent, which caused his LUNGS to start sluffing….

    bottom line, the reason people don’t obviously recognize a person burning their own shoes ON their feet as satire is because… there are so many people who actually DO STUPID SHIT JUST LIKE THAT AND WORSE.

    the internet has effectively killed satire, by showing us too much reality.

  15. peachesthewaitress says

    Even though this is a fake, you have to admit that a lot of people on the right don’t know how to protest. They’re bad at it. They can’t make a point without burning something or bringing their guns to make them look big and strong. Meanwhile we’re over here with our songs and chants and guitars. The idea of non-violent protest slips past many of them. They just want someone to pay attention to them now, without thinking of the kind of message they’re trying to send.