Semilore's dad & mom
I cannot count how many times I have been asked what the secret of a successful long term relationship is: if I had a kobo for every time I have been asked, I would probably have more money to buy plates of Asun ...

Successful relationships are relative, for some people success in a relationship is getting married, that is when they feel you have arrived! For others successful relationships are those who get married, even though they are unhappy will remain in the marriage for better or worse. For others it is being in a happy relationship, married or not...na you sabi. Here I believe are 7 secrets of successful relationships and PLEASE add yours to the list. 

THEY COMMUNICATE -  Communication is the key: it opens the door to everything. You need to communicate your needs to one another at all times, be clear about your expectations, don't assume. Don't imagine your partner is one babalawo that can magically figure out what you want or like. Talk your mind. If you hold things in, na you e go pain because the other person is unaware. Communication will lead to understanding.

THEY SPEND TIME TOGETHER - As a couple you need to spend and enjoy the time you spend together, have fun. Have you seen someone that leaves a place of fun? Mba nu. Plan activities together, do things together, that is the main reason you're a couple. If you're in a Long Distance Relationship you can spend time on skype, plan holidays together. Have fun!

THEY DON'T COMPARE - All relationships have their own DNA, sometimes what works for you might not work for other couples, what is important is that you realize what works and you keep at it. There are other couples that look like they are having the time of their lives, perfection on the outside, don't envy, spend time working on your own relationship. The grass grows where it is watered.

THEY RESPECT BOUNDARIES AND EACH OTHER - Some people don't believe in boundaries but I do, there are some things I find irritating, e.g sharing the same spoon or sucking on the same straw someone used, I don't like all those kain things, the earlier a couple knows those pet peeves, the better. I don't like people messing around me, but now I'm beginning to loosen up: I can mess and I can take a mess...Some people complain that it's "see finish" that is causing wahala in their relationship, please respect each other and don't take the other for granted.

THEY HOLD THEIR CORNER - Always have it in heart that it takes YOU to make your relationship work. Don't cast blames, do your own best. Don't wait for your partner to put in effort before you do. If bros hold him corner and sist hold her corner, everything will be fine abi? Faithfulness comes under holding your corner, bia, hold your side. Be romantic, that is holding your corner. Be loving, that's holding corner too. Be honest.

THEY NURTURE EACH OTHER - We all have dreams and aspirations and imagine how awesome it is if your partner can help you grow, help you achieve your dreams. Bible talk say 1 can chase 1000 and 2 will chase wetin? 10k! So you see? it is cool when you nurture each other. You can motivate your partner, be their biggest fan, coach them. Support is very important, financially, emotionally, spiritually! Be you're boo's friend. 

THEY FIGHT AND FORGIVE- If you are in a relationship and you tell me say you never argue or quarrel then you dey lie. Friction is unavoidable especially when you are trying to smooth out surfaces. Una know as e be na. What is important is to fight fair, agree to disagree, you might not see eye-to-eye on  every issue, it is normal. You're individuals. After fighting, you forgive. Couples that are married will tell you this. If you're someone that keeps malice...e go hard you.

THEY HAVE WILL POWER - Anything for the world wey go last requires consistency. If you say you will, it will. Successful couples make a conscious decision to stay together, this is a serious commitment: there is no one leg in, one leg out. There is no "lets see how it goes...". This applies to other spheres of life not just relationships. If you agree that you want to stay together forever ti ti lai lai, you most probably will. 

This list is not exhaustive so please share yours with me so that we can all learn and grow! Special shout out to my friends Tosin and Yomi Yusuf, its their wedding Anniversary today! 



  1. intresting.. helpful tips tho.. wishin d pipu avin deir anniversary a fruitful mor union ijn

  2. 9.) They communicate and understand each other well.

  3. Respect!!!!!!just discovered how important it is to hold my corner oh..

  4. play 'eminado' for them http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxPqkwahxe0

  5. They spend quality time together... Date night, cinema, mini breaks, etc...

  6. They're happy because they learn to love with their heads, not just emotional impulse.

  7. -They put each other first. Before doing anything, even eating (if you know your partner doesn't like to eat alone) consider the other person. If both parties in a relationship always put each other first, they would hardly find fault with each other. Everything go be by mutual agreement, as it should be.

    -They don't keep secrets. It is true that every1 needs space, but why should you need space from yourself? If both parties are of the same mind, then keeping secrets should be a no-no in a relationship. Once you start thinking about keeping secrets from your spouse, your gut is telling you that they are not 100% the one for you.

    PS. that doesn't apply to your friends' secrets o! If your husband or wife is an amebo and you spill your friends' secrets to them, na yawa be that!

  8. Oh I love this... From the mix of English with pidgin to the advice to everything lol... I definitely agree on the communication. Once it's broken down you have no relationship.... And I like the part that says.... Have you seen someone that leaves a place of fun and the grass grows where it is watered.... Defo needed them 2.

  9. Wendy Brown has a book called Why Love Succeeds or Fails, it really touches on this subject and I love how you explain it. whylovesucceeds.com is her site for that book. Loved this post and the comments are awesome!



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