'Only God Forgives' Movie Trailer: 3 Potential Storylines For Ryan Gosling's New Movie

The official red band trailer for Drive-director Nicholas Winding Refn's new film Only God Forgives was recently released, and damn it looks sweet. Ryan Gosling stars as a JCVD-esque white martial arts expert living in Bangkok, while Kristin Scott Thomas plays his platinum blond chain-smoking mother. The villain appears to be a Thai gangster, played by Vithaya Pansringarm, who digs slicing people open with swords and singing karaoke (surprisingly well, I might add).

At the end of the trailer, Gosling looks Pansringarm in the eye and says. "wanna fight?" Enough said.

I'll be honest: I could've read a plot summary, but I didn't. The trailer is so vague that any attempt to draw a storyline seems futile, but there's definitely material to work with. So I did what any normal person would: came up with three things the film may or may not be about that I'll be unable to confirm as true or false until its July 19 release.

Here they are for your reading pleasure:

Storyline #1: Only Mom Forgives

Kristin Scott Thomas plays an ex-stripper with a drug problem who gives birth to Ryan Gosling, even though her family (including Gosling's deadbeat inventor father, played by Kris Kristofferson in a cameo role) wants him aborted. After 9/11, she flees with her young son to Bangkok, where she raises him amid the underground kickboxing scene (and obsessively bleaches his hair).

But all is not as it seems: Gosling has a Tyler Durden-esque Thai alter ego named Vithaya Pansringarm, who sings karaoke and has a penchant for outlandish violence. In the final muay thai boxing showdown, Gosling must defeat his own worst enemy: himself (Vithaya Pansringarm).

And when his mother finds out, will she ever look at him the same way again?

Storyline #2: Only T-2000 Forgives

Kristin Scott Thomas gave birth to Ryan Gosling years ago, but hasn't seen him in a while. Now, in a world completely ruled by Thai cyborgs, violence and karaoke against humans are horrific facts of life.

But just when it seems all hope for the human race is lost, the Great White Hope (Gosling) returns for a date with destiny.

Will he rescue humanity (and his mother) from the machines? Or will the head cyborg (played by Vithaya Pansringarm) kill Gosling and display his severed head for the entire world to see?

Storyline #3: Only Satan Forgives (Or Does He?)

Kristin Scott Thomas plays a housewife who gets pregnant despite her husband's (played by Gary Busey in a cameo role) impotence. She doesn't understand, but rejoices in what she believes to be an immaculate conception.

But her son (Ryan Gosling) has always been strange, and difficult to understand. He loves beating people to a pulp and dragging them down hallways by their mouths. Plus, whenever he's in a room, every light turns red and the air grows so cold you can see your breath.

We soon discover he is the Antichrist, and his father is none other that Satan himself (played by Vithaya Pansringarm). In a childish power grab, Gosling challenges his father to a duel in Bangkok for control of the underworld.

Will Satan forgive his son’s arrogance? Or will he beat the ever-loving sh*t out of him?

(NOTE: If any of these turn out to be true, you all owe me a drink.)