What Our Relationships Mean For How We Sleep

A researcher explains how the company we keep by day may determine how well we sleep at night.

What Our Relationships Mean For How We Sleep
[Photo: Shannon Fagan/Getty Images]

Studies have shown that the quality of our relationships may determine how healthy we are, how well we recover from illness, and even how long we live.



Researchers have now started to investigate how relationships with friends and family affect nighttime sleep–particularly among teens and emerging adults. Results from our recent study with high school students suggest that, even when we go to bed alone, the company we keep by day may determine how well we sleep at night.

Romantic Relationships And Sleep

Most previous studies have focused on married couples and adults. In one study of 78 married couples, being worried about a spouse’s availability was linked to more trouble sleeping.



Among U.S. college students, a general sense of security in relationships with others was linked to less disturbed sleep–regardless of whether or not students were currently in a committed relationship.


Social Ties At College


In one study, we asked more than 900 Canadian students about their social life during their first year of college. One year later, the students who had reported being more engaged in social activities had fewer sleep problems. They had less difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep throughout the night.




Friends, Family And sleep Among Children And Teens




We measured the total number of hours asleep, how long it took to fall asleep after going to bed, and the actual percentage of time spent sleeping relative to how long they lay in bed. We also asked participants to report how much time they spent interacting face-to-face with friends and family.


Time spent with family, specifically at night, may include highly emotional events, such as parent-child conflicts, chores, or discussions about the day’s events. These family activities may subsequently delay the start of sleep.


Older teens–those over 16.3 years old–who spent several hours face-to-face with their family had 4% more efficient sleep than those who spent less time with their family. However, for children under 12.7 years old, family time did not affect sleep.



Meanwhile, younger children who spent more time with friends slept 6% more efficiently than those who spent less. It may be because this age is a crucial transitioning period, when friends can provide emotional support and facilitate identity development.

Related: Fast Company’s 2015 Sleep Week!

Improving Our Sleep



Parents and teachers should be encouraged to facilitate environments that promote budding friendships among youth. Medical practitioners may also gain additional insight into adolescents’ health by assessing problems with friend and family relationships.


Royette Tavernier is assistant professor of Psychology, Wesleyan University. Follow her at @_rtavernier.

This story first appeared at The Conversation. Learn how you can write for Fast Company here.