Episode No Second Prances
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[wheels squeaking]
[light thud]
Twilight Sparkle: First lesson of the day, we very carefully set the table without using magic, so that— Yikes!
[silverware clattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Did you...?! How? When? What?!
Starlight Glimmer: What?
Twilight Sparkle: I said no magic. You were supposed to do it by hoof so I could work in a friendship lesson.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, I heard "set the table" and just kinda went for it.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, if you hadn't used magic, you'd have heard me say, uh... this plate represents your head, this spoon is your heart, and the knives... are sharp! Always be careful with knives. [sigh] The metaphors make more sense when you're actually setting the table.
Starlight Glimmer: Should I... change it back?
Twilight Sparkle: I just want to make sure you're ready for this dinner. Princess Celestia will be joining us tomorrow night to see how the friendship lessons are going!
Starlight Glimmer: If it's just you, me, and Princess Celestia, why are there four seats?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, the whole point is for you to bring a new friend. That way, the princess will see for herself just how far you've come. And how good a teacher you have.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I can't choose. I like all your friends.
Twilight Sparkle: That's the best part! You have to make a new friend!
Starlight Glimmer: New friends? Hey, maybe I'll just force friendships by magically enslaving the entire population of Ponyville!
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight!
Starlight Glimmer: Kidding! [laughs nervously]
[theme song]
Starlight Glimmer: Let's see. Make new friends in Ponyville, the friendliest place in Equestria. Shouldn't be hard...
Pinkie Pie: Need to make a new friend, huh? I know just the pony for you!
Pinkie Pie: Miss Starlight Glimmer, meet Mrs. Cake!
[small splats]
Mrs. Cake: How are you, dearie?
Starlight Glimmer: Are you baking? Can I help?
[magic whirls]
Pinkie Pie: Wow, Mrs. Cake! Look what your new friend made you!
Mrs. Cake: [chuckles] New friend. I like the sound of– [gasps] Howza-wowza! A-Are you trying to put me out of business with your fancy magical-thingy-whatsit cake?!
Mrs. Cake: [yelps and spits]
Starlight Glimmer: Sorry...
Pinkie Pie: [licks, swallows] In her defense, it is delicious! [chomps]
[apples falling]
Applejack: I think I have just the pony for you, Starlight. Meet Big Mac!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Applejack: He's not much of a talker.
Big McIntosh: Nnope.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, that's too bad. I love a good conversation.
[magic wisps]
Big McIntosh: [motormouth] Eeyup-yup-yup-yup-yup-yup-yup-yup-y-y-y-y-you did something! Whoa! What's happening? I feel really weird! I'm talkin' so much! And I'm so articulate! Enunciating with such precise pronunciation! Annie Apple awoke and accidentally ate an auburn azalea! [screams] Make it stop!
Applejack: [growls]
Starlight Glimmer: I can't be friends with somepony who doesn't talk.
Applejack: [growls]
Starlight Glimmer: ...And I guess my first instinct shouldn't be to magically command ponies to act the way I want them to?
Applejack: [growls]
Starlight Glimmer: Alright, I'll change him back!
Rarity: The trick to finding a new friend is to render yourself radiant. First impressions count a great deal, you know.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm glad you all got past my first impression.
Rarity: Well, everypony deserves a second chance. Ooh! Now, I have a top-notch idea. I'm thinking pastel silk here and here with a crinoline underneath.
Starlight Glimmer: You really think a new outfit will help me meet ponies?
Rarity: Oh, with the right outfit, you can do anything, darling!
Starlight Glimmer: When will it be ready?
Rarity: Three weeks.
Starlight Glimmer: Dinner's tomorrow.
Rarity: Well then, how about a hat from the... [clears throat] ...clearance bin?
[fabric ripping]
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh! Maybe not.
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Nopony's gonna make friends with you because of your outfit. The only thing you want a new friend draped in is coolness.
Starlight Glimmer: Like you?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, but you already know me, so... [gasps] [spitting] Spitfire! Heh. Sorry.
Starlight Glimmer: Who's that?
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Only the Wonderbolt-iest pony in the Wonderbolts! Come on, I'll introduce you!
[sonic boom]
Rainbow Dash: You coming or what?
Starlight Glimmer: I guess my first question would be, "What's a Wonderbolt?"
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] You've never heard of the Wonderbolts?! Where have you been?!
Starlight Glimmer: [nervously] Enslaving villages, I guess...
Rainbow Dash: Right.
Angel: [giggling]
Starlight Glimmer: You're adorable, but probably not what Twilight had in mind.
Fluttershy: [sighs]
[ponies chattering]
Starlight Glimmer: [groan] What is going on? This is Ponyville! If I can't make a friend here, there's gotta be something wrong with me! [sighs] Okay, calm down. Nobody makes friends with a total stresscase.
[more ponies chattering]
Starlight Glimmer: [to herself] Stop stressing... Stop stressing!
[long beat]
[door opens and shuts]
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] This is just what I needed.
Trixie: [sighs] Tell me about it.
Starlight Glimmer: You ever have one of those days?
Trixie: For me, they're all one of those days.
Starlight Glimmer: [giggles]
Trixie: I'm gonna start coming here every time I visit Ponyville.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm not from here either. I've been trying to make friends, but it's not easy. They're not saying it, but I think everypony knows about my past. I may have been a tiny bit... completely and utterly evil?
Trixie: Ponies judge me on my past too.
Starlight Glimmer: Finally, a pony I can relate to.
Twilight Sparkle: Soup spoon, salad fork, pasta spoon, strawberry pick. I'm beginning to think that after friendship, the greatest magic of all is proper silverware placement! [giggles]
Starlight Glimmer: Twilight, guess what? I made a new friend!
Twilight Sparkle: That's fantastic news!
Starlight Glimmer: She's great!
Twilight Sparkle: Great!
Starlight Glimmer: She's powerful!
Twilight Sparkle: Powerful?
Starlight Glimmer: She's—
Trixie: Hello... princess!
Twilight Sparkle: Trixie?!
Starlight Glimmer: You know each other?
Twilight Sparkle: You could say that.
Trixie: We've had our differences. What matters is Twilight gave me a second chance, and I appreciate it.
Twilight Sparkle: So, um, what brings you to Ponyville?
Trixie: The Grrrreat and Powerful Trrrrixie has come to perform a new stage show of grand illusion! I am calling it "The Humble and Penitent Trixie's Equestrian Apology Tour"!
Starlight Glimmer: [hushed] That's kind of a mouthful.
Trixie: [hushed] It's a working title.
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight? A moment? Over here? [hushed] I know I said make friends with anypony, but, well, with Trixie's past, and your past, I'm not sure she's the best... first friend.
Starlight Glimmer: But whatever she did, you've forgiven her, right?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course. It's just... She wasn't the nicest pony.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, you did say anypony, and I just assumed that you'd trust me to make my own friends the way Princess Celestia trusted you.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] You're right. I trust you. Just be back in time for the dinner.
Starlight Glimmer: Thanks, Twilight! You won't regret it!
Twilight Sparkle: I hope not. [sighs]
Trixie: This magic show's gonna be the greatest thing Ponyville's ever seen!
Cherry Berry and Goldengrape: [unintelligible whispering] ...did you see...?
Caramel, Shoeshine, and Sunshower Raindrops: [unintelligible whispering] ...did you hear...?
Trixie: Everypony always says they'll give you a second chance, but deep down, they never forget.
Starlight Glimmer: That's what I'm worried about.
Trixie: [sighs]
Starlight Glimmer: What is it?
Trixie: I heard what Twilight said about me, and she's right. I wasn't very nice. So I'd understand if you didn't want to be friends.
Starlight Glimmer: Are you kidding? You're the first pony I've met who has any idea how I feel!
Trixie: Can you keep a secret?
Starlight Glimmer: What are friends for?
Trixie: [hushed] The things I've done? I did them because I was jealous of Twilight. She's just the best at everything, and I wanted to beat her at something!
Starlight Glimmer: [hushed] Your secret's safe with me.
Trixie: Thanks. Want to help me unpack my wagon?
Trixie: I spend a lot of time on the road with my wagon, so it might be a tad messy.
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe I can help. I'm pretty good at organizing stuff. Magic props, brainwashed crowds...
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Pssssssst! Pssst! Psssssst! Shhhhhh!
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, I'll catch up. I think there's something in my hoof.
Trixie: Sure. The wagon's right around the corner.
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] So, how's it going with your new friend?
Starlight Glimmer: [sarcastically] Great. Thanks for asking in a completely not creepy way.
Twilight Sparkle: Because you know, if it isn't working out for any reason, I could introduce you to my friend here.
[bush rustling]
Starlight Glimmer: [deadpan] Nice to meet you.
Twilight Sparkle: No, no! You can come out now!
[dubstep playing]
Twilight Sparkle: You like music, right? DJ Pon-3'd be the perfect friend for tonight's incredibly important dinner with Celestia. You know, if you decide to make a last-minute change. Heh.
Starlight Glimmer: So back at your castle when you said "I trust you", you meant "I don't trust you".
Twilight Sparkle: [nervously] Who can really say who said what? I know I can't! [to DJ Pon-3] Can you?
[dubstep fades out]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, I'm just trying to look out for you.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I appreciate it, but you're wrong about Trixie. She's just like me. We have a real connection.
Twilight Sparkle: That's kind of what I'm afraid of. Oh! What about her?
Starlight Glimmer: Please, Twilight! I know you're trying to help, but I need to make friends on my own if I'm going to become a better pony.
Twilight Sparkle: But do you really think Trixie's the one to help you with that?
Starlight Glimmer: Wow. Trixie was right. You're not really giving her a second chance. I wonder what that says about how you feel about me.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [snorts]
[bird flapping]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! Now he'd be perfect!
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
Starlight Glimmer: I was thinking. You said Twilight is better than you at everything, but that's not true. You're better at magic.
Trixie: Only when I'm wearing a soul-sucking evil amulet, so I don't think that counts. Funny story. Don't need to get into it.
Starlight Glimmer: I meant stage magic.
Trixie: Well, of course! Great? Yes. Powerful? Obviously. But I'm not the best. As great and powerful as I am, there's one trick I've never been able to do – the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive!
[silent film-type piano music and film reel flickering]
Trixie: [narrating] Only one magician has ever pulled it off – my hero, Hoofdini! You are supposed to blast yourself into the open mouth of a hungry manticore! After the manticore chews you up and swallows you, you magically step out of a box on the other side of the stage!
[film reel runs out]
Trixie: Completely unharmed!
Starlight Glimmer: That sounds very...
Trixie: Dangerous?
Starlight Glimmer: I was gonna say cool!
Trixie: I knew I liked you for a reason. I don't know how he did it! If I tried it, I'd get chewed up and swallowed by that manticore.
Starlight Glimmer: Not if you could use real magic.
Trixie: Obviously. Way to rub it in.
Starlight Glimmer: No, I mean, I could help! You could start the trick, and right before you got chewed up, I could use magic to save you...
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: ...and make you appear in the black box!
Trixie: I guess that would work... But if you made one mistake, I'd be a goner.
Starlight Glimmer: Hah. When it comes to magic, I don't make mistakes. Maybe I could be your... magic show helper pony!
Trixie: We call it "assistant" in the magician biz. And... nopony's ever offered to help before.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I'd be honored.
Trixie: You may have just made my great and powerful magic show even better! Which I didn't think was possible! We're gonna blow them away tonight!
Starlight Glimmer: [groans] I can't! Tonight's this incredibly important dinner with Twilight.
Trixie: Oh.
Starlight Glimmer: Can I vent for a minute?
Trixie: What are friends for?
Starlight Glimmer: Even after Twilight says she trusts me, she clearly doesn't trust me enough to choose my own friends. [sighs] I guess you were right. No second chances.
Trixie: Hmph, I wish I could say I was surprised. Well, lucky for Princess Twilight, I have my magic show tonight. If you have to go to the dinner, I completely understand. [dramatically] I just hope I find a way to survive the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive without my new assistant!
[ice sculpture dripping]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight Glimmer should be here, heh, any minute, heh. Any minute now... [nervous laugh] [forced] How about I introduce everyone? Our friendship lessons are going so well! She made three new friends! She has such great taste in friends. I don't know where she would've learned that! [nervous laugh]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Starlight Glimmer? I thought you said "nosehair trimmers"! What's going on? I'm hungry! And my nose is too hairy. [snorts]
Twilight Sparkle: [nervously] Ha-ha, Cranky Doodle! You're so funny! If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna check the kitchen. Maybe she got lost amongst the, uh... artichokes! [nervous laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight? Has anyone seen Starlight Glimmer? I'm looking for her! Trixie.
Pinkie Pie: So this is the Humble and Penitent Trixie's Equestrian Apology Tour?
Applejack: Ain't that a mouthful of molasses.
Trixie: It's a working title! Oh, this is gonna be the greatest night of my life! Excuse me. Our lives.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I'm so glad we're not at that boring dinner.
Twilight Sparkle: Ahem? You just decided to skip our dinner without telling me? Are you aware that, at this very moment, Princess Celestia is waiting for you at a table with exquisite silverware placement?!
Starlight Glimmer: Yes, but—
Twilight Sparkle: This is exactly why I didn't want you to make friends with Trixie.
Trixie: A-ha! You still don't trust me! But guess what, princess? It doesn't matter if you want to give me a second chance or not. Starlight had to choose between you and me, and she chose me! Your pupil chose me, so ha! I win!
Starlight Glimmer: You win? That sounds like you just made friends with me to beat Twilight.
Trixie: Exactly! [beat] Wait! I mean, no! I got caught up in the moment. I like you. Beating Twilight is just a bonus. [gasps] Saying that didn't help, did it?
Starlight Glimmer: I should've known. Nopony else in Ponyville wanted to be my friend. Why would you? [controlled sobbing]
Trixie: Wait, it's not like that! I am your friend. [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, you won. I hope you're happy!
Trixie: [sighs] Looks like the Great and Powerful Trixie is back to a solo show.
Twilight Sparkle: Trixie?
Trixie: ...Which is exactly the way she likes it! Thank you, Princess Twilight, for getting rid of that annoying pony who wanted to be my first friend! I am not sad at all! I definitely don't feel as if my heart is breaking into a million pieces!
[spotlight clanks]
Trixie: [unenthusiastic] Come one, come all. Come and see the Pathetic and Friendless Trixie's "Way-To-Go-Dum-Dum-You-Really-Messed-It-Up-This-Time Repentance Tour".
[crowd confused]
Trixie: It's a working title! [unenthusiastic] Behold, your fears come true. A pony-eating manticore.
[manticore roars]
Fluttershy: [trembling]
Trixie: [unenthusiastic] For tonight, the Great and Powerful Trixie will be performing the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive.
[crowd gasps]
Trixie: [unenthusiastic] Now, now, save your gasps for when I defy the beast's jaws of doom and appear inside that black box. [dramatically] I was supposed to perform this trick with my great and powerful assistant, who was also my great and powerful friend!
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, when I first came to Ponyville, Princess Celestia gave me room to make my own decisions and my own friends. I need to give you the same freedom. I shouldn't have tried to pick and choose your friends for you. Just like me, you have to make your own decisions and your own friends.
Starlight Glimmer: But... what if Trixie really was using me just to one-up you?
Twilight Sparkle: From what I've seen, she's the real thing.
[fuse lights]
Twilight Sparkle: But it's not my place to judge. It's all up to you.
[manticore roars]
[fuse hisses]
Trixie: Starlight? If you're out there and you still want to be friends, let's be great and powerful together! [slightly echoing] Please?
[cannon fires]
[manticore roars]
Trixie: [shrieks]
[manticore swallows and belches]
[crowd gasps]
Fluttershy: [faints]
[crowd confused]
[magic zap]
Trixie: [woozy] Behold, the Peat and Growerful Triskie...!
[crowd cheers]
Trixie: [amplified] And now, I'm proud to introduce my great and powerful assistant! [normal] And best friend. [amplified] Starlight Glimmer!
[crowd cheers]
Twilight Sparkle: Trixie!
Trixie: What do you want?
Twilight Sparkle: I was wrong. I'm sorry. And I have to hand it to you. I could never have pulled off a trick like that.
Trixie: Thank you, princess.
[fireworks launch]
[ice sculpture dripping]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: How do you get your hair to do that all the time?
Princess Celestia: [sighs]
[silent film-type piano music over credits]