You can save during a Divorce.

You can save during a Divorce.

Most divorces these days are nasty, brutish, and all too long. Not to mention damned expensive.

The average cost of a wedding is just under $28,000, according to Conde Nast Bridal Group double what it was 16 years ago. Quite the investment when a good portion will have to then spend on divorce proceedings.

Estimates on the average cost of a divorce in the U.S. range from $15,000 to $30,000. Where does all that money go? The bulk of it, predictably enough, goes straight to the lawyers. Matrimonial law work is currently a staggering $28 billion a year industry. Court fees can also add a hefty sum to your divorce bill; a mere two-day trial can set you back as much as $25,000 (less expensive options, like formal arbitration, still run between $5,000 and $10,000). But if you’re looking to reduce those costs or to avoid them altogether, you’ve got a few alternatives. The simplest and the cheapest way of handling divorce proceedings is to do all the negotiating and paperwork on your own. Web sites like, and offer an array of information and services to assist you, from state-specific legal forms to downloadable divorce kits. If your finances are simple, you don’t have any shared debt, and you and your spouse can reach an agreement on custody arrangements, this may be an attractive option, and it will generally run you between $50 and $250.

Another inexpensive option for those whose divorces are relatively amicable is mediation. During mediation, the couple hires a mediator trained in conflict resolution and family law (and often, but not always, a lawyer) to oversee their negotiations. A mediator can advise you about potential financial and custodial arrangements, and will help to reopen the discussion if things break down. Mediation reduces your divorce bill because it reduces your billable hours you and your spouse shoulder the burden of gathering and sharing information yourselves, and while your mediator’s hourly rates may not be any cheaper than those of your attorney, you’ll spend far less time together. You and your spouse can, nevertheless, opt to retain separate lawyers in order to review the final settlement. Margulies estimates that the average mediated divorce should cost less than $5,000.

Collaborative law is a similar and increasingly popular  approach to divorce. During collaborative law negotiations, both you and your spouse will hire lawyers, but they will be committed to resolving your differences without resorting to any form of litigation or any adjudicatory procedure.  Collaborative law is not the cheapest way to go. It is estimated that it might cost an average of $3,000 per spouse  but it still represents significant savings over the traditional adversarial method. Those who favor collaborative law over mediation may worry that the mediator is not truly impartial. But some attorneys are concerned that if the couple lets their lawyers do all the talking, they will never really learn to negotiate on their own. Lawyers aren’t trained to be negotiators. And if you and your spouse don’t learn to negotiate, the likelihood that your settlement will last is greatly reduced.

If you’re stuck in traditional divorce proceedings where each party has hired a lawyer to represent them in a court battle there are still things you can do to reduce your legal bill. By far the most important thing is to communicate: disclose your assets, answer any questions, and provide all documents that are required. “With that there’s not much else for a lawyer to do. You should also make sure you’ve done your homework before a meeting with your lawyer. Don’t make your lawyer wait around racking up billable hours as you scramble to find documents or look up information.

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  1. AnnAbbitz
    February 15, 22:40 Reply
    I have to admit that I suppose I was lucky throughout my divorce to have been in an amicable situation. Neither one of us wanted to drag anything out any longer than was absolutely necessary, and that helped TREMENDOUSLY with the fees. You're right, mediation here was key because my ex and I basically did all of the necessary paperwork & research that would have otherwise cost us an arm and a leg with attorneys and paralegals digging into our affairs anyway. Do the hard work - both mentally and emotionally - and get all of your research in order before your lawyer starts racking up their billed hours!
  2. Chris
    February 16, 13:31 Reply
    Wow, I really wasn't aware of how much a divorce can cost you! I can completely see why a wedding would cost as much as you said here, because there's so much that goes into it, but I never would have guessed that the cost of a divorce could be so comparable! These are great suggestions for keeping the cost under control.
  3. Hannah
    August 25, 07:08 Reply
    Getting a divorce is already painful enough, but dragging legal into it can hurt both partners before they can even separate cleanly! I really urge anyone getting a divorce to PLEASE try to end it peacefully with their partner and do it in a way that doesn’t involve extra legal consultation. It’s just going to prevent you from getting back on your feet longer due to the money!

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