Monday, July 18, 2011

10 Reasons You're Getting The Abridged Version

People often ask me how I have time to write up a blog post.  The answer is simply, I don't. 
Between chasing Mackenzie around the house trying to prevent her from destroying half the furniture, to driving around running errands between naps and meal times, it's a challenge to hunker down in the basement and type something that is 1) interesting and 2) cohesive. 

I usually get down here to the computer during nap time, but that means forgoing a long list of chores.  It also means that I neglect certain things that I find essential, mainly personal hygiene.  But I enjoy sharing my thoughts and so I try my best to temporarily put my hectic life on hold in order to share my stories with readers. 
I had planned on writing something totally different today, but that post is going to have to wait. 
Here are 10 reasons why you're getting the abridged version today: 

* The Diaper Genie has reached its max capacity and one more poop explosion from Mackenzie will cause it to self destruct. 
* The contents of my laundry bin have overflowed to the laundry basket and the laundry basket has overflowed to the backup laundry basket.  
* The bed still needs to be made but every time I try to tackle it Mackenzie happens to plop herself down on the sheets and read her book. 
* I need to grab the following supplies from the garage in record speed before Mackenzie wakes up: paper towels, diapers, baby wipes, washing machine cleaner, Cheerios, peanut butter, toilet bowl cleaner.
* This sweltering heat is suffocating my impatiens and they're begging for water.  
* The dishes have piled up in the sink because I've spent half the day trying to keep Mackenzie clean: first it was the milk she spilled down her shirt, then it was the puddle of mud she sat in at the park, then it was the honey-glazed carrots she used as hair conditioner at lunch, then the crackers she hid down her diaper, and finally the yogurt she decided worked better as finger paint. 
* I have to move the knives up another drawer.  Pretty soon I'll be storing them in cabinets even I can't reach. 
* I'm determined to actually eat a proper lunch at some point.  I can't possibly live on Mackenzie's scraps alone.  
* I need to search for the cordless phone that Mackenzie left off the hook.  I can hear it.  It's buzzing around somewhere.  I just can't locate it.  At least I'm pretty sure that's the phone.  Maybe I've officially gone insane and there are voices in my head to prove it now.
* I'm ready to pass out from my own B.O.  MUST. SHOWER. NOW.


  1. Haaaa. Dom, you are HILAROUS! I just became a follower so I can stay up with all of your awesome insights/stories and hilarity!