Friday, April 10, 2015

Kendrick Lamar, Skin Tones and Personal Choice

There is no reason, as an older mentor once advised me, for anyone to worry about what’s on another man's or woman’s plate. That just gets you agitated and envious. Your life won’t improve. Every person has different skills, gifts and characteristics which will attract people. What's a "must have" attribute to one person can easily be a "can't stand" quality for another. I recalled that advice when some Facebook friends shared what a self-described so-called “dark skinned activist” named Rashida Strober had to say about the upcoming nuptials of rapper Kendrick Lamar and his fiancée, one Whitney Alford. Now I don't listen to Kendrick Lamar's music. I couldn't care less about who he is sleeping with or his marriage plans. This news didn't put any money in my pocket or make me sleep better at night. But I thought the idiotic response by this alleged activist was worth discussing if only because it is a view into a mindset that if not exactly widespread, does have a ugly tenacity, sort of like cockroaches or scabies. Now the normal response when you learn that someone will be getting married is either happiness for them (if you know them personally) or perhaps bemused indifference (if they happen to be one of the 7 billion people on the planet you don't know). However Rashida Strober decided to take the news of Lamar's engagement personally, very personally indeed. 
“Well, well, well would you looky here. ANOTHER FAKE CONSCIOUS MUTHERF-KER EXPOSED. I will never support him nor his music with one dime of my money and encourage all dark skinned women not to either!”

I see calling out and exposing self hating fake black men who speak about consciousness but date and marry NON DARK SKIN WOMEN brought you haters to my page. WELL SHARE THIS MUTHERF**ING POST!!! These type of fake coons are the worst of the worst. DARK SKIN is the essence of true blackness and if these fakers were really and truly conscious they would MARRY DARK SKINNED WOMEN!!! You pissed ?? GOOD!!!

These ugly words really tell you more about what’s in her head than what’s in Kendrick's. It’s a fact that “black people” come in various different skin tones and facial features. Children in the same family with the same parents can and do vary in skin tones. In the US, at least any sort of visible or acknowledged African ancestry has usually caused the possessor of such ancestry to be identified as "Black" by others and more importantly, Tiger Woods not withstanding, often to self-identify as Black. Other than Kendrick Lamar himself or people who are very close to Kendrick Lamar, no one knows all the reasons why and how Lamar fell in love with this woman. So to reduce his reasons for loving her to just her skin tone seems silly. But I will go further. Even if Kendrick's fiancée were Caucasian with translucent skin it would still not be anybody’s business other than the couple’s as to why and how they fell in love. Life is very short. Too short. Love is a very private and personal thing. It’s not something that should be weighed or measured by others. The political is not necessarily the personal. Someone's commitment to justice, however that is defined, is simply not measured by the level of melanin in their boo's skin. Anyone stupid enough to say that dark skin is somehow the essence of "true blackness" must not have heard of Walter White, Kathleen Cleaver, Julian Bond, Angela DavisRandall Robinson, Nelson Mandela, Diane Nash or brother Malcolm..

The only reason to be concerned about someone else's romantic choices is if that person rejected you or cheated on you. Obviously you may have nasty thoughts about seeing that person with someone else. But we all deal with rejection. The resulting sadness or anger should only be temporary. Sure, some people's "temporary" may last for a few years. But we should always remember that we do not own anyone else’s good thing. To paraphrase Little Milton, when the good Lord made one (wo)man , Hallelujah, don’t you know that He made two. The world is full of acceptable partners. I just can't understand getting upset about the romantic choices of strangers. Some people live vicariously through celebrities. But that is a dumb way to live your life. You should find your own pathway through life and allow others to do the same. This woman Strober obviously has had pain in her past. Well so has everyone else. That's no excuse for being stupid or controlling. Has this Strober raised a fuss about Eve, Halle Berry, Rihanna, Mellody Hobson or several other black women who have found love with men who are significantly lighter or rather whiter than they are? I'm guessing not. Internalized racism and the need to control other people are horrible sins. But the sheer narcissism on display here (you must marry someone who looks like me otherwise you're a horrible person) is somewhere between amusing and horrifying in its scope. This is bad thinking. 
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