You Gave Her Birthdays: A Letter to My Daughter's Birth Mom

Dear Anna,

She's four today.  

But you already knew that, because you've been loving her for longer than we have.

I remember cradling her in my arms during her first few months of life and whispering into her little ears, "Stay tiny forever."

She didn't listen.

How is it already happening that this baby who made us both mothers will be off to "big school" in a matter of weeks?  Sometimes I wish that I could hit a pause button and savor these early years for awhile longer.

Piper geeks out about birthdays.  I guess she's like me in that way.  She's like you in a million other ways.  Since January, that kid has been making a wish list, talking about which friends to invite to her party, and planning what she will do when she is finally four.  It seems safe to say that this is her favorite day of the year.

We bought a small swimming pool as a birthday gift for her and her sister (whose birthday is also this summer).  She's mildly obsessed.  I can't decide if she likes it or the light-up Frozen shoes that my parents got her more.  She would spend all of her time in both of them if she could.

Today, we're celebrating by grilling her favorite "hamgubbers", and we'll likely let her stay up past her usual bedtime and eat way too many treats.  Today, we will give her more gifts that she will treasure for a moment.  Eventually, though, she will outgrow her light-up shoes, and the toys and swimming pool will no longer hold the same allure that they once did.  Today, we are giving her things that grow old.  Forever, you gave her birthdays. 

You didn't have to do that.  

It pains me to think that you could have pursued other alternatives, but you totally could have, and many of them would have been easier than adoption.  

Piper will get to turn 4, and 14, and maybe 104, because you chose life on June 28, 2013, and every day afterward.  I know that you signed some papers to legalize your decision in a single moment but that you have woken up every morning since and bravely faced the consequences of those signatures.  I pray that Piper grows to understand how much you sacrificed.

Every June 28th, she gets the festivities, but you're the real hero.  From one mom to another, thank you for giving her birthdays.


Her Adoptive Mom