State prevents 17 yr old with learning difficulties from getting married and threatens to take her child

I am not sure if this young woman should get married without knowing more about her future husband but to take her baby when it is born seems evil. That should surely be the last resort after all other options of support (practical & emotional) for her and her baby have been tried. As someone says in the report “she has learning difficulties not loving difficulties”.

The other side of that coin:

Loving a child is not worth a lot if one is unable to care for it. IF she lacks the mental capacity to care for the child, then removing it is the right thing to do. Focus MUST be on the welfare of the child, primarily, and not the wishes of the parent(s).

However, whether or not she IS in fact unable is a different matter altogether, and sometimes the authorities are not entirely to be trusted in those matters.

First, her LD is described as “mild” so she is considered able to function independently. Second, the father of her child wants to marry her, and is very supportive of her.

So, I’m not seeing any good reason to consider taking the child away from her. She will probably be a wonderful mother. No one is asking her to be a school teacher for her child - others will take on that role.

I’m going to sound cold hearted for saying this, but a child needs quite a bit more than just love. I don’t know the extent of her learning disabilities, but if they’d prevent her from providing for and effectively raising a child, then it was probably for the best.

I disagree. I know of a father whose only possible job, due to some terrible things that wrecked his mind when he was a youth, could only get a job as a janitor in a fast-food place. HIs son is a NFL football player and his daughter is a famous Canadian writer with several prizes to her name.

His wife was normal (as this young woman’s fiance is normal) - literally all he could give them was his love - his wife was the one giving the financial and educational support - and they turned out great. Not saying it wouldn’t be difficult, but they obviously got through it.

So I would never say never. I won’t say the name to protect his privacy, because I know his son and daughter would not want him to be made a spectacle of, but these are people you will have heard of, and they are real role models in Canadian culture.

It is wrong to take a child away from it’s mother because she has “mild” learning diabilities. LD does not equal dumb, just difficulty in learning the traditional way.

I am twice exceptional, being LD and gifted. I have four children and I homeschool the older three. My daughter went through public school for two years because of her LD. She still was not able to read. I brought her home and taught her myself and now she reads wonderfully. I shudder to think of where she would be if she was allowed to remain in public school. They tried to hold her back instead of actually teaching her to read. She is on grade level for reading and above grade level for math. My son is above grade level in math and reading.

There is also a mother whose son has been in my son’s basketball league for the last three years. She is clearly um … “special,” along with 2 of her 4 children. Her husband is a doctor and as far as I have observed she is an attentive and caring mother.

But MORE importantly, they are part of a whole, healthy and loving family.

I can’t believe that people would agree with this travesty. The child DESERVES it’s mother. And this woman deserves at least a chance at mothering.

My cousin is severely LD and was not even able to graduate from high school. She has taken the GED twice, and failed. I am helping her for this third time. We actually worried greatly about her future, and worried even more when she found herself pregnant ar 17. Lo and behold, she is an EXCELLENT mother. We joke around that getting pregnant must have triggered some previously dormant brain cells. lol She is a VERY protective and loving mother. She married the father and they live together and support themselves. I cannot imagine how devastating it would have been if her little girl was taken away.

LD DOES NOT EQUAL BAD PARENTING!! I would like to see the science and statistics behind their decision.

I can’t even imagine having to spend my pregnancy worried the Gov would take my baby. How horrible. Learning disability is just so broad of a term though. We can’t judge on that term alone what her capacity is. The article doesn’t given enough info.

I do notice that there don’t seem to be any questions as to her mental capability to consent to sex. Her fiance hasn’t been charged with rape. If they feel she can rightfully consent to sex, why wouldn’t she have the mental capacity to consent to marriage? That is the preferred order for these things to happen in anyway. I think they should be allowed to get married. They should be allowed to keep their child, unless charges of abuse or neglect are proven. The state shouldn’t have even been involved unless someone reported them for abuse or neglect after the birth.

Harold M. Skeels in 1932 conducted an experiment where babies who were in an orphanage for “mentally challenged babies” were moved to an institution for women with mental disabilities. The women with learning disabilities each “adopted” a child and cared for the child I think for at least 2 years. When he followed up with these children 20 years later ALL those who had been looked after by LD “mothers” were self-supporting while only 1 of the control group of children who were left in the orphanage were.

It was one of the first major studies to show that IQ could be affected by environment and was not innate. It also was controversial at the time because it showed that LDs do not necessarily prevent a woman from mothering successfully.

I think many of us can think of people with high IQs and no LDs who have not parented successfully because of other issues.

Jesus says nothing of this matter, nor do his apostles, nor does the bible address the many issues so many people surely faced then, and do now in this regard. I often wonder if the demoniac in the narrative was simply autistic, or had down syndrome or some other “LD” label.

Jesus, on the Cross, said- Look at your Mother

Paul said- there is No jew, nor Greek

We can not say on the one hand that “God will never allow a baby to be born that should not be born” while at the same time say, but God made a mistake and gave the baby the wrong mommy, or daddy so WE can take over now"

Mind you, I am saying all this “thinking like” or trying to think as I see from what I can see of christian faith, and Jesus what is and is not compatible with your claimed belief system.

It sounds so contrary so often it makes my head spin!

Why is it you can’t seem to all agree on these basic life matters yet poke your heads in judgement at the poor folks in Africa getting condoms? Wouldn’t more starving children going down to bones, and their flesh rotting off them bother you? Hard to say when we live in safe nice surroundings and can say things whithout being in their shoes isn’t it???

I don’t know about the other woman on this forum but I can say this. If love can not conquer all what can? If a woman love her child, she supports that child, If a woman loves her child she will learn everything she can to have that child grow up to be a loving individual. it is like what that line in “Forest Gump” said " I may not be a smart person, Jenny, but I know what love is!’ Is it so hard to figure out that “Special” people know what love is and know how to show it?

I say let these two people get married and support that idea, then the baby will have two parents instead of just one.

Who said that?

I am going to borrow Exoflares excellent siggie to respind to your post.

**“Ending AIDS by handing out condoms is like ending murder by handing out bullet-proof vests.” **

No, you are absolutely correct. God would never give anyone the wrong parents. This does not mean that all parents will never need help from time to time, but the Church’s official policy is that the parents are in charge of the child - always! We help them when they need help, but they make the final decisions for their children.


20 years ago, China and India had the fastest growing populations. Today, they have the fastest-growing economies. You do the math. Kids are good for society.

Good economies are run by young workers. The more young workers you have, the better your economy will be. Remember North America in the 1950s and '60s? Great economy, just as the war babies (baby boomers) were coming of age. :slight_smile:

Actually the 50s “boom” in the economy had a lot more to do with the fact that many of America’s competitors were still recovering from the devastation of WWII: Germany, Great Britain, France, Italy, Japan. The USA was not bombed out like the rest. Japan had nuclear bombs dropped on them remember? As their economies recovered the USA was no longer so dominant. The '50s were a historical economic abberation and a temporary one at that.
