Jennifer Goodman Linn You Fearless

The Game of Life

I am happy to report that my stomach is feeling much better and I actually was able to get to the gym today for a quick workout. I have been so preoccupied with healing from my stomach woes and focusing on battle 6 that I actually forgot that I had chemo this past Tuesday. The good news is that it has hardly affected nausea, no fatigue. Let's hope it stays this way. I head back for my 2nd chemo treatment this coming Tuesday.

Dave and I have been watching a ton of the World Cup. I am so happy that if we had to get upsetting news about my health we received it during the World Cup. It is a great distraction and it makes me happy to see Dave obsessed with the games. Dave and I travelled to Germany in 2006 and Korea/Japan in 2002 to attend the World Cup and Dave had gone to the 2 tournaments before that (In the US and France). It is bittersweet that we are not there this year. Bitter because it is a "once every 4 year" vacation that we always look forward to and sweet in that it is fun to see how far the game has evolved in the United States and how many Americans are getting behind the spirit of the game. I always say that the World Cup is the closest thing to world peace that I have ever seen. There are no words to explain what it feels like to see so many countries rallying around one common cause.

4 Years ago when we headed to the World Cup I was 5 months out from my 2nd surgery and my hair was just starting to grow back. I had no real understanding that my cancer could become a multi-year battle. My biggest concern was having my hair grow out quickly as I was so uncomfortable wearing it short in the hot European weather. It was a time of new beginnings not only for me but for the U.S. Team. Dave and I loved watching them play in Germany and were so disappointed when they lost to Ghana in 2006.

When I was in the hospital last week, my room became "MSKCC Headquarters" for the World Cup. I was fortunate in that I didn't have a roommate for 1 of the nights I was there so we had two TV's in which to showcase the games. It was funny to see how many nurses and Dr's were all of the sudden making up reasons why they needed to check in on me.
Maybe it's because I am feeling very reflective and somewhat somber these days, I couldn't help but compare my current health situation to the U.S. in the World Cup. Sometimes, no matter how hard you work at something, it doesn't always go your desired way. Right after the U.S. lost a reporter said, "It truly is amazing how quickly things can turn from its zeniths to its nadirs, from the moments of joy and ecstasy and euphoria to the moments of dear sadness and dejection." That is exactly how I felt going from life as normal to "back at the hospital." It took me a few days to even accept that I was being checked into the hospital again, forget that my cancer had returned. How could this be? I "trained" so hard to make sure it didn't come back.

In a post-game interview, Landon Donovan said, "Football is a cruel game sometimes. One minute you are on top of the world, the next minute you are at the bottom of the mountain." How true that is. In the end, of course, the best-laid plans have failed to deliver for the U.S. Team. Although they are headed home, there's no shame in defeat for the Americans. I believe, just like me, they'll be back. Bigger and better than ever. You can count on it.