The Life of Bon: My inner conscience is a fool

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

My inner conscience is a fool

Today I realized something about myself.  It's a very strange thing when you've lived with yourself day in and day out week after week for 25 straight years and suddenly you discover something about yourself you never knew before. You would think after a quarter of a century that you'd understand yourself, wouldn't you?


I read once that we actually know much less about ourselves than we realize and that other people: siblings, parents, spouses, best friends, etc, could probably dsecribe and analyze us much more accurately then we ourselves could. INTERESTING.

In any case, my sudden epiphany came when I was hosing down my car in the $1.50 car wash a block away from my apartment at eight o'clock tonight. With a million things that I need to do zooming through my head, my inner conscience unexpectedly burst out with, "You are not very good at staying on task." 

"RUDE!"  I said to my inner conscience, because seriously, your inner conscience should constantly be telling you things like "you're gorgeous," "you're funny" and "you're intelligent," NOT "You are not good at staying on task."  Who wants an inner conscience that is constantly putting you down, anyway? NO, THANK YOU.

I considered ignoring my I.C. like I normally do when it says rude things, but then I thought "Hmmm.... this might be why I don't still know things about myself after 25 years." So I thought about what he had just told me, and then decided to review the last two hours in my head. 

Hubs and I got home from Las Vegas (which was what this post was SUPPOSED to be about until it somehow morphed into THIS post.) at about six this evening.  I had lots to do, lessons to plan, papers to grade, a post to write, and emails to respond to. Four days of vacation is awesome, but catch up is hell.  Twas time to get to work.

I sat down to grade my papers, but then decided I should write my blog post first. So I hopped on over to blogger, clicked new post and got to uploading my pictures from Las Vegas. While I was waiting for the pictures I started thinking, "You know what sounds so good to me right now? A chocolate cream cheese cupcake." I figured twenty minute break to make some cupcakes wouldn't hurt, so I hustled on over to the kitchen, put on my sexy little apron and got baking!

Four minutes in I realized I didn't have a sifter. I called three neighbors until I found one.  I took a break from the cupcake baking and fetched the sifter.

Back to work in the kitchen and five minutes later I realized that I didn't have sugar.  Too embarrassed to start harrassing more neighbors for sugar, I decided to just make a quick run to the grocery store.  It is a four minute drive. I would hardly notice the delay.

Once I got to my car, I was disgusted by the layer of filth and grime that was covering that spiffy black corolla.  Also, I realized it was my turn to drive in the car pool tomorrow.  I was too embarrassed to show up with this thing that looked like it'd been through a tornado.  I'd have to stop by a car wash. I opened the door and saw that my backseat was covered with junk and the floors were in desperate need of vaccuuming.  So... I took two loads of "stuff" inside, put the "stuff" away, and came back out with windew, paper towel, and the hand held vacuum. I got to work.

Twenty minutes later, with the interior of my car looking fiiiiiiiiine, I was off to the grocery store to get the sugar. A run in with an old roommate led to a twenty minute conversation about nothing (which is exactly why I avoid people I know when I see them in stores).  Finally, with sugar and cupcake linings in tote, I escaped the grocery store.

My last stop was supposed to be the car wash, but I had forgotten my quarters at home. So I ran home, dashed inside, grabbed the quarters, was back out the door and speeding on over to the car wash. 

And that's how I found myself-  two hours after sitting down to work on my essays- with a hose in hand, two dozen half baked cupcakes at home, a beautifully clean interior of a car, a stack of ungraded essays on my desk, and a computer screen blinking "New Post."

It was time to come clean to my inner conscience. "You're right." I told him.  "I am no good at staying on task. But heck, look how much I have gotten done tonight."
"But none of it was what you were SUPPOSED to get done." My I.C. said right back. 
He is sassy, isn't he?
"What am I supposed to do when I don't have a sifter and sugar?"
"Just give up on the cupcakes and get back to work."
"Oh... well what about my dirty car?"
"Schedule it into a day when you actually have time, not a very busy night when you've just gotten back from vacation."
"Oh... what about my friend at the grocery store?!?! I couldn't just ignore her!!!"
"Plan a time to do lunch next week... a time when you are not stressed and busy. And if you had given up on the cupcake idea you never would have had that problem to begin with, would you have?"

Man, he really is a know it all, isn't he?

As much as I hate it, old I.C. is right, I am awful at staying on task and that is why it is well after 9:00 and this post isn't done and the essays are untouched.

AND.... the cupcakes are burnt.

That, my friends, is what we like to call adding insult to injury.

From here on out, I'm listening to my inner conscience. BEFORE I make the cupcakes. I will surely keep you updated because I know you'll just be riveted to hear about my constant battles with my inner conscience.

MOVING ONWARD... this post was supposed to be about Las Vegas.

Hubs driving, sunset, feet on the dash.
Life ain't bad, eh?

My favorite was the M&M factory, naturally.
Those people sure know how to get down; all the workers were having a dance party with the peanut M&M when we stopped by.  I know where I'm applying if I ever lose my job.

Hubs did not tell me that I was blocking the entire M&M in this picture.
Sometimes we have picture-taking miscommunication.
Totally  normal, folks.

Hubs told me I'm not allowed to make that face in pictures ever again.

Sharks and turtles and sharks and fish and SHARKS.
You'd have to see it to understand its coolness.

Anniversary dinner at P.F. Changs, outside on the balcony.
The weather was beautiful- low seventies the entire time we were there.
Sure makes coming back to Utah rough.

One day when I am rich and famous I will have a gorgeous red and black bathroom like this one.

In other news, apparently I look I'm twelve. I couldn't walk through a casino without getting I.D.ed right and left. When I told one lady that I taught high school English she gasped and replied, "How old are you?!?!?"

We didn't take too many pictures on the trip. Sometimes you are enjoying a vacation so much that you almost don't want to ruin it by worrying about taking pictures every second. We strolled along the strip, slept in until noon, ate like kings, observed the insanity that is Las Vegas, and watched the water show at the Bellagio while we talked about life goals and aspirations.

It was beautiful.
I'm a firm believer in vacations and their ability to relax, rejuvenate, and reinspire.
Heck, I'd take one every week if I could!


  1. I'm right there with you on the taking pics on vacation. I just realized tomorrow is our last day to ski & be on vacation until we leave & the only pictures I've taken have been on my phone. I'm usually a picture fanatic but sometimes it's just more fun to enjoy the moments..especially if your camera is tucked away in your ski jacket & you don't want to have to take off your gloves, unzip your jacket just to snap a pic & do the whole process over again.

  2. Bonnie, get back to your essays!!

    And I find it interesting that you refer to you IC as a "he"

  3. Ohmyword. I'm tired after reading about your night!
    Glad you had fun in Vegas!
    Also, I have the same problem...I get carded everywhere!

  4. I think my IC needs to tell me the same thing... but I wonder why yours is a male??? :) Cute! Happy Anniversary.

  5. I agree with your vacation belief. Looks like you had a good time!

  6. This post confirms it. We are the same person. Can't stay on task for the life of me. Our poor husbands.


  7. I find it interesting that your inner conscience is male. Hmmm...

    You are totally adorable, but I wouldn't card you.

    I don't stay task well eith....I love Las Vegas too! But the M&Ms weren't dancing when we were there. Oh, the water show! I wanted to watch it every time!

    Great post!

  8. Funny that you got carded. People say crazy stuff in Vegas. One guy asked if I was about to have my baby any day now. I was 5 months pregnant. Another lady walked by me, smiled huge and said, "Congratulations!" I have no idea why.

  9. Story of my life, g-friend. Except on my stove I have rooster salt and pepper shakers.

  10. you are hilarious. and I love your blog. so glad we could meet last week!

  11. ahhhh i love vegas. im from vegas. looks so fun. jealous!


  12. Funny, my inner conscience tells me the same thing pretty much every day of my life.
    Sounds like Vegas was a win!

  13. Cupcakes are always a great distraction. Glad you had fun on your trip! I went to Vegas once and wanted to see the Bellagio fountain show... sat out waiting for hours but it never came on! Apparently it only runs at certain times hahaha. It makes for a good laugh now