Friday, August 10, 2007

Two seemingly non-related stories illustrate the power of the glowing box in the living room.

First, a report in Forbes showed that kids thought that anything that comes out of a McDonald's bag tastes better than the same item out of another bag.

"This study demonstrates simply and elegantly that advertising literally brainwashes young children into a baseless preference for certain food products," said Dr. David Katz, the director of the Prevention Research Center at Yale University School of Medicine, New Haven, Conn.

Now why would kids become brainwashed by ads. Could it be that we're plunking them down in front of the TV so we can go do something in another room? Don't think so? Then, may I present:

Second, a new study that indicates those "Baby Einstein" videos parents buy for their newborns and infants to give them an academic leg up on the other kids when they get to school may actually make the kids dumber.

For every hour a day that babies 8 to 16 months old were shown such popular series as "Brainy Baby" or "Baby Einstein," they knew six to eight fewer words than other children, the study found.

While the study singled out these multi-million dollars video series, the implication is that if you park your kid in front of the TV alone, anything will have the same result. "'I would rather babies watch "American Idol" than these videos,' Christakis said, explaining that there is at least a chance their parents would watch with them — which does have developmental benefits," the article concludes.

Meanwhile, advertisers must be popping champagne bottles now. Advertising "Baby Einstein" makes them millions, teaches children to watch TV, exposing them to more commercials! As the tobacco companies used to say, "We gotta get 'em young!"


Thursday, August 09, 2007

Honor the Texas flag;
I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas,
one state under God,
one and indivisible.

To be honest, I didn't remember we had a pledge to Texas, and I certainly didn't remember that Jebus wasn't in it. And they're requiring it now?

Anyway, after solving all of Texas' other problems, the State Legislature recently passed a law adding "Under God" to the state pledge. So if you had the old pledge memorized, you gotta relearn it.

Praise Jebus!


Wednesday, August 08, 2007

As Global Warming (Praise Gaia and her anointed profits (get it?) the Goreacle and Tom Brokaw! Hah-men!) moves more and more into a mainstream religion, we in the West are rapidly created a CO2 emission-based morality. We are expected to make choices based on how much CO2 those choices add to the atmosphere. (Global Warming concerts around the world excepted, of course. CO2 emitted to stop CO2 emissions are holy.)

We're told that if we recycle, we save the planet.

It's not true, of course. Recycling plastic uses more energy than it takes to manufacture new plastic. Recycling paper uses more energy than it takes to turn a tree into paper. Making biofuels takes more energy to create that it will produce. (The only thing biofuels are doing are making ADM rich beyond the dreams of avarice. We're talking Exxon-type profits here, folks.) Uses paper bags at the market contributes more CO2 to the atmosphere because they are heavier, and thus take fuel to ship than plastic bags.

The latest CO2 calculations involve exercise. A British environmentalist has used math to prove that walking to the store contributes more CO2 to the atmosphere than driving, because food production is so energy intensive. Don't believe me? Here's a quote:

“Driving a typical UK car for 3 miles [4.8km] adds about 0.9 kg [2lb] of CO2 to the atmosphere,” [Chris Goodall, campaigning author of How to Live a Low-Carbon Life] said, a calculation based on the Government’s official fuel emission figures. “If you walked instead, it would use about 180 calories. You’d need about 100g of beef to replace those calories, resulting in 3.6kg of emissions, or four times as much as driving.

“The troubling fact is that taking a lot of exercise and then eating a bit more food is not good for the global atmosphere. Eating less and driving to save energy would be better.”

Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.


Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Democrats control the Congress. No Republican bill can get passed without their approval. That's what the Left was telling us, anyway, when the Democrats took back control of the Congress. The war in Iraq would be over. The patriot Act would be curtailed. And there would be no more warrantless wiretaps.

The Left has just received a lesson in modern politics. Democrats just passed Bush's expanded wiretap bill.

Here's the lesson: No matter who you vote for, the results are the same. Oil companies contribute money to both parties. More to the party in power. Same with Telecoms, drug companies. . . You name it. That means that whoever gets in power will do what the moneymen say.

Why did LBJ become president? Because Kennedy was impressed with Johnson's stance on race or poverty? No. Because Johnson's ability to get huge amounts of cash to Congressmen made him powerful. Kennedy wanted some of that money and named LBJ Veep. It's all about money.

We would like to believe that we make the laws by electing representatives. All we decide is who the lobbyists are going to pay. Basically, we're millionaire makers.


Monday, August 06, 2007

Since we have received no entries in the Pete Townsend Teen Love Story contest, I have decided to once again be outraged at allegedly adult women having sex with teen boys and, if they are hot and white, not getting jail time but getting modeling contracts or TV movies made about their illicit love. I do reserve the right to celebrate any teen boy's bagging an older hot woman.

Twenty-two year old Ashley Thompson of Kansas was charged with statutory rape of a 15 year old boy. They boy had been hired by Thompson as a baby sitter, only to discover he was sitting more than the baby. (Where were those jobs when I was fifteen?) At no time did Thompson force the boy into the sex act, and the boy wasn't complaining. But the former Mr. Thompson was. He ratted out his wife and now she's charged with statutory rape.

I keep reminding all you luscious, sexy women, that we mere men cannot resist your charms. It is incumbent on you to take steps to prevent us from gazing on you wonderful bodies. Start wearing a Burka! Please. For your own protection.