How “Nice” Has Become an Idol We Worship We with Wild Abandon


“Being nice” is an idol we worship with abandon in Western culture. 

Before you tag-out to write me a long rambling comment listing in horrific detail the countless ways people have become rude, vulgar and belligerent, please hear me out. 

I’m not crazy.  

It is true that there are many people in our culture who become aggressively rude, foulmouthed and abusive at what looks like the tiniest provocation. However, if you look at the context of their aggression; their hostility is nearly always directed at people the aggressors categorize as hateful, rude or disrespectful in some way. 

It is never acceptable to be “not nice” anymore unless, of course someone else is determined to be “not nice”. That said, once the judgment of “not nice” has been established, literally anything goes. It is then acceptable to unleash untold hell on those judged to be “not nice”.  

Sadly, this phenomenon has turned many Christians into a horde of craven fraidy-cats (more on that later).  

This insight came as I was reading an article. The writer of said article believes evangelical support for the President (rather than the churches lack of holiness or the average Christian’s reluctance to share the not-nice parts of the gospel) is hurting our Christian witness in America. He believes that it would be best for Christian voters to dump the President and take our lumps with whoever gets elected next. Rather than discredit the reputation of Christianity with support for the President. 

The primary grievance the writer seemed to have with the President is not his with policies but rather his lack of politeness and absence of niceness. There are opponents of the President who really do have issues with conservative policies. However, they rarely attack those policies. Instead they focus endlessly on the Presidents lack of decorum, dignity and niceness.  


Our collective obsession with niceness transcends the realm of politics.  Despite laws safeguarding free speech there is an influential movement afoot to shut down any and all speech thought to be “not nice”.  Racist, sexist and homophobic speech has been deemed the least “nice” speech and for good reason. Clever individuals have recognized that the most efficient way to silence someone else’s speech (and to be given the go ahead to be “not nice” to that person) is to twist that person’s speech into something racist, sexist and/or homophobic. Universities have made a practice of suppressing the speech of students who hold views that are thought to be “not nice”. Schools routinely disinvite speakers deemed problematic due to their lack of niceness. Professors have actually been fired from jobs for openly sharing views decreed “not nice”.

There’s more:


Welcome to 1984 folks. 

The entire west coast is being taken over by homeless people. Sections of entire cities are no longer fit to do business in. Nothing is being done to correct this problem (or help the homeless) because it has been determined by leadership in those cities that it is “not nice” to make judgments about the lifestyle choices of others. Medical professionals will admit in their more vulnerable moments they are reluctant to tell patients they are overweight or that their lifestyle choices are going to kill them because they do not want to be perceived as “not nice” or “judgmental”. 

The idol of nice has slipped into the church and it IS hurting our witness.  For years now, churches (even evangelical churches) have systematically softened language concerning sin. In some situations, churches have stopped discussing topics—no matter how biblical those topics might be— because someone— somewhere might possibly feel those topics are “not nice”. The teachings of Calvinism have made serious inroads in recent years, even in denominations that are not traditionally Calvinistic. I suspect one of the reasons Calvinism has become trendy is because Calvinism teaches that Christians never have to tell unbelievers they are going to hell or even evangelize them (decidedly “not nice” things). Calvinists believe it is the sole responsibility of the Holy Spirit to reach unbelievers and He does not want or need our help. If these strategies were effective I would support them, but they are not. Church attendance has plummeted as have authentic conversions to Christianity. The vast majority of church growth in recent decades has been what experts call “transfer growth” or Christians simply transferring from one church or denomination to another church or denomination.   

Idols must be dealt with decisively.  That does not mean it is okay to be rude, abusive or foulmouthed. Christians should strive to treat ALL people with the respect, dignity and the consideration that is due any being made in the image of a holy God. It does mean that we stop letting our fear of man outweigh our fear of God. 

It is critical Christians learn to balance “niceness” with truthfulness in a culture that is literally dying right before our very eyes (Ephesians 4:15, Ephesians 4:25). It is the ultimate in fiddling while Rome burns to worry more about being labeled “not nice” than to worry about the souls of people or the future of our civilization.  

Six (seriously, not legalistic) Rules That Will Keep You From Going Totally Sideways In Life


I am not really much of a rule-follower.   

That being said, there was brief period early-on in my Christianity when I had a short but ill-fated love affair with legalism. Needless to say, it was not my finest hour. Over time through Bible study, the guidance of a gentle mentor, and some spiritual growth I concluded that laws are intended for law-breakers (1stTimothy 1:9). It is now my firmly held conviction that if Christians would simply seek wisdom, follow biblical principles and obey God, there would be little need for rules. 

That being said.

Recently, I was thinking about how one person can be incredibly successful from a spiritual perspective while another person in a similar set of circumstances can go completely sideways and end up shipwrecking both their lives and their faith (1stTimothy 1:18-19). As I was thinking through the how and why of all that. I came-up with was a list of attitudes and behaviors that spiritually successful people tend to have (Galatians 5:22-23, Colossians 1:9-11). Then I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to come up with a way to express my thoughts without using the “rules” word. Ultimately, it was just too hard. Sigh. 

Following are a few rules that if followed, pretty much guarantee spiritual success, regardless of circumstances: 

Be teachable-


Be obedient-


Engage the world around you- 

We only get one shot at life on this planet (Hebrews 9:27) and our time here is so short that the Bible refers to human life as a flower that springs up for a season (1stPeter 1:24, Job 14:1-2). Furthermore, every season of life tends to be shorter than we think it will be. We only have so much time to be married, parent our children, love our neighbors, pastor our churches, lead the people around us and/or impact our workplaces for Jesus.  It would benefit us all to put down our phones, shut off the T.V. and be a lot more intentional about engaging the world and the people in it. Not only would we have a bigger impact on our world we would also enjoy our time here more.  

Recognize and run from unhealthy people and situations-


Become a friend of God-

Believe God is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do. Get to know Him on a personal level rather than simply acquiring information about Him and God will call you His friend (James 2:23).   

 Develop people- 


So, Maybe What We Really Need is A Little Less Civilization



The refinements of civilization include (but are not limited to) gems such as indoor plumbing, the combustion engine, books, civil rights, ready-to-wear clothing, paved roads, an objective system of justice, electricity, free and fair elections, education for all people even poor people, toilet paper, human rights and around the clock delivery services.  

Synonyms for the word civilized include: educated, sophisticated, polite, enlightened and improved. No one in a healthy state of mind would argue against education, politeness, enlightenment, improvement and toilet paper.

Seriously. It’s simply not done. 


As a lover of all things civilized his choice of words offended my sensibilities. I felt it was absurd to intimate that a society could become too advanced, too enlightened, too polite and too sophisticated. But then I made my way to and found some definitions for the word civilization. One of the definitions caught my attention. It said:   


Okay, so, it occurred to me that one trait of savage, uneducated and unrefined people is that they do not fear rejecting ideas that appear idiotic and inane. Because they are unsophisticated and savage they laugh, mock and scoff at ideas that make no sense. They have not been trained to look deeper than the obvious so they make their judgments based on the obvious and are not afraid to state the obvious. 


Differences over what exactly makes an individual a male or a female is one of the clearest illustrations of this phenomenon. To an “uncivilized” person, it is evident that a man who SAYS he is a woman is not actually a woman.  The man in question might wish he was a woman or like pretending he is a woman. It’s possible he might even think he feels like a woman feels. The “uncivilized” among us would say that make-believe and feelings cannot and do not change reality. A person is what their DNA and private parts say they are. Period. An “uncivilized” person would also say that allowing a man who says he is woman to play sports against actual women or offering reproductive healthcare to people who were not born with actual uterus’s is just a whole lot of crazy talk.

That’s not all. 


There’s more.

 A baby is only a baby if the woman carrying the baby wants it to be a baby. If the woman does not want the baby to be a baby it magically transforms into a soulless blob of tissue. The courts have decided it is not acceptable to ask a perfectly acceptable question on the census form because some feel the MOTIVES for asking the question might be dubious. If one person feels another person said something racist then that person is a racist. If one pampered football player feels a symbol means something sinister then that symbol is suddenly sinister.  




Seven Things Christians Can Do to Push Back the Darkness


I have not been cursed with a ton of vices. 

Drugs, alcohol, and gambling are not enormous temptations for me. Nor am I into video games, binge eating, hoarding, porn or nicotine. I do sometimes use shopping as a stress release. However, I hate credit card debt slightly more than I love shopping so the odds that I will morph into a full-blown shopping addict are fairly slim.   

Politics is my vice. 

Much to the chagrin of my long-suffering and far less politically minded husband, I follow political parties the way a gaming addict follows NFL teams and a gambling addict follows the ponies. The Presidential elections are my super bowl and I begin gearing for them a good two years prior to the actual elections. 

 I love the intrigue and the process of politics. I like to watch the field narrow as the primaries wind down and I love to see the strengths and weakness of each candidate emerge as the race wears on.  As a history geek I am fascinated by the reality that democracy is a relatively new development in human government, having only existed as we know it for a few hundred years.  In my nerdier moments (there are many) I like to ponder the evolution of politics and government. As a Christian I am intrigued by the fact that in our system the election of a single person often has an enormous impact on the political, economic and moral landscape of our nation, sometimes for decades. 

Sadly, I can also fall into the trap of thinking that if the right person or group of people get elected the outcome of those elections will magically alter the moral landscape of our country. Last weekend I found a quote that challenged my belief system: 


It is simply a fact that people in our culture love darkness more than they love light (John 3:19). At the heart of every “hot-button” issue of our day is a powerful battle between right and wrong, light and darkness, good and evil. There are a lot of hearts that need changing.  For the record I get that changing hearts is way above my pay grade (and yours). Changing hearts is God’s thing. However, the Bible is clear that individuals do have influence over others and there are things that can be done to push back the darkness.

Beginning with:


No one should talk about prayer or extol the virtues of prayer unless they are willing to actually pray (1st Thessalonians 5:17, Matthew 26:41).  We should all pray because prayer changes things. More importantly prayer changes us.  

Get some theology- 

The whole notion of having a personal theology or holding tightly to a set of beliefs concerning God, the Bible and life has been scoffed at both inside and outside the church in recent years. Even some well-known pastors have publicly criticized Christians who place a high value on Bible study.  The Apostle Paul’s proclamation that “knowledge puffs up” has been taken out of context so many times that most people do not realize that the apostle was referring to knowledge concerning a specific issue (idols).  Christians have been told repeatedly that all they need to do to effectively live out their Christian faith is love God and people.  Believing that “love” is all Christians need to communicate Christ effectively is a tragically immature understanding of both Christianity and love (1st Peter 3:15). In a post-Christian world that does not define the word love by a biblical standard, how do we even know how to love God or love people without theology as a guide? Christians should ask themselves what the Bible says about every issue in life and then study the Bible so they will know the answers (2nd Peter 1:3-9, Proverbs 18:15). 

Live right-



Find creative ways to serve inside and outside the church. Love the human race with your actions as well as your words. 

Vote judiciously-


Don’t be a jerk-

Seriously. There are enough self-righteous blowhards in this world. We do not need even one more. Love God. Live the way you are supposed to live, speak the truth boldly but lovingly and don’t worry about what the rest of the world does with the truth. God will deal with the world when the time is right (Romans 2:5-6, Hebrews 9:27, Revelations 14:7). 

Don’t waver- 

Have standards. Be shamelessly biblical. Live by those standards and beliefs and whatever you do, do not let the culture persuade you to do anything else. 

Six Things-

For the ear tests words, as the palate tastes food. Let us choose justice for ourselves;
let us know among ourselves what is good- Job 34:2-3 NKJV

I had an unusual problem this week. I found myself totally at a loss for a decent blog topic. 

Typically, blog topics just kind of come to me. But, for some reason it just didn’t happen this week.  Typically, by Tuesday afternoon I have an idea locked down and ready to go but for some reason I literally had nothing this week. 

Zero. Zilch. Nada.

 So, I did this thing I do on the rare occasions I find myself utterly desperate for thought-provoking writing material. I spent a couple of hours one-night binge-watching some of the popular cable news channels (FOX, CNN, MSNBC). I have found in the past that there is almost always enough crazy stuff being reported on the news to generate at least a blog post or two. 

It worked. 

I learned a lot that night, most of it was more than a bit maddening. I also ended-up with a serious glut of excess material. It turns out there is quite a lot of super outrageous stuff going on in the world.  I do not believe Christians should run or hide from the ugliness and sin in our world. Christians are called to fight darkness rather than flee from it. Because I believe that I decided to share (most) of what I learned. My hope is that you will spend some time in prayer over these issues and looking for ways to engage with our sin-sick world.

The sex industry is being normalized for teens by adults who are smart enough to know better- 

A popular periodical marketed to girls between the ages of 12 and 17 published an article about the importance of destigmatizing and normalizing “sex work” (AKA prostitution). The article was entitled “Sex Work is Real Work”. For the record, no one has to convince me that sex workis real work. Sex work is without a doubt the most grueling, dreadful, dehumanizing, horrific work there is. What I don’t understand is why a magizine that presents itself as pro-girl and pro-woman would write an article that glamourizes the job and might possibly inspire young women to consider a vocation that degrades, marginalizes and damages women solely for the sexual gratification of men. Wasn’t that the sort of thing feminism was supposed to end? 

Drug use is trendy once again-

Recreational drug use became popular in the 1960’s and use rose steadily throughout the 1980’s and 1990’s. Then drug use plummeted in the early years of the 21stcentury.  For the first time since the 1980’s drug use is rising among 8th, 10thand 12thgraders. When questioned about drug use teens admit that this is due almost entirely to decriminalization and legalization efforts on the state level. Legalization and decriminalization have removed fears of addiction and being saddled with a criminal record. As a result, for the first time in decades teens view drug use as a potential positive rather than an overwhelmingly negative experience. This means that millions more teenagers are voluntarily damaging their brains before they really even get an opportunity to use them.  

City and State leaders are refusing to be honest about homelessness- 

Homelessness is booming (especially in the West). Leaders in cities where homelessness has become an issue refuse to blame the thing those who work with the homeless say is the number one cause of homelessness: drug use. Perhaps it’s because those states are beginning to view taxing drug use as a potential money maker and they don’t want to admit that there is a cost to legalizing drugs and encouraging drug use. 

 HBO has a new program for teens- 

In its first season Euphoriahas showcased hardcore drug use, full frontal nudity, masturbation, endless expressions of nihilism and transgender teenagers having sex with adults. Whoo-hoo. Thanks HBO, we didn’t have nearly enough filth on T.V. 

A small minority of parents are cashing in on their children’s gender confusion-

Apparently, there are parents who dress their kids up as the opposite gender and parading them around for money. I literally have no words and I always have words. Words are my thing. We obviously need revival if these parents aren’t in jail for this.

Powerful words are being abused- 

This is nothing new.  Hardly a week goes by when a lawmaker or newscaster doesn’t call someone a NAZI or refer to the holocaust in an inappropriate manner. But this week Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took it to a new level when she claimed that immigrants who voluntarily turned themselves in at the border hoping to become citizens are being forced to live in “concentration camps”. Sigh.   

A tiny minority is redefining morality-

A particular senator who is hoping to become the President stated emphatically this past week that taking a pro-life position is so outside the mainstream that pro-life people shouldn’t be judges. What? Who gave this woman the “right” to redefine what the mainstream is or isn’t?  

Okay, so, now you have a prayer list for the week. Let’s get to it. 

Some Thoughts on Biden’s Hyde Flip-flop


Last week, Joe Biden the democratic favorite for 2020, flipped-flopped like a fish out of water and came out solidly against the Hyde amendment. 







Those are subjects for another day. 

Today, I simply wish to begin a discussion concerning a few scenarios that might possibly come to pass if the Hyde amendment is indeed repealed. 


Our nation will become more sharply divided politically-


The federal government might possibly get into the abortion business- 


The cost of abortion could skyrocket- 


Minority populations could be further decimated-


If you do not wish to see the possible consequences of repealing Hyde become reality, please call your state senators and representatives today and go on record as a supporter of the Hyde amendment.  

The Most Misunderstood Word in the Church







Hospitality and entertaining are the same thing-


Hospitality is optional-


Hospitality has nothing to do with Evangelism- 


I don’t have time for hospitality- 


Hospitality is something other people should do for me-


When Life Feels Like Too Much


This past Monday was Memorial Day in the United States. 


This insight bummed me out for two reasons. 




Hardness is inescapable in a fallen world- 


Doing hard things prepares us for harder things- 








It really is the best thing.    

How “Help” is Hurting People


Albuquerque has a problem. 










That said. 






Why We All Ought to Fear the Twisting of History


Recently, the freshman Congresswoman from Minnesota, Rashida Tlaib, explained to an interviewer that when she thinks about the holocaust she experiences a “calming feeling”. Ms. Tlaib expounded by saying she feels heartened by the knowledge that the Palestinian people worked hard and made many sacrifices to create a safe haven for the Jews after the holocaust.

Any nub with access to a history book knows that Ms. Tlaib (best case scenario) is ignorant of some key facts and (worst case scenario) is intentionally rewriting some elementary points of history. It is true that that the Palestinian people did make room for the Jews after World War II ended. However, it is also true that the Palestinian people did not do this willingly, joyfully or without a fight.  Another key detail being omitted by Ms. Tlaib is that the Palestinian leader (mufti) at the time (Amin al-Hussenini) was a staunch ally of Hitler and hardly a gleeful advocate of a Jewish homeland. 

The Holocaust is not the only historical event or movement being retold in kinder, gentler terms days. Communism has also gotten a total redo. Gone are the stories of gulags, propaganda crusades, starvation campaigns, nepotism and genocide. The evils of Communism have been revised as a Scandinavian success story whose reputation has been sullied by a few bad actors in some Eastern bloc countries (Soviet Union, Romania, East Germany, etc.) who failed to implement a righteous movement properly.  As a result, the horrors of communism have been largely forgotten and it is now cool to call one’s self a commie.  

In the United States there is a movement afoot to erase all details of any unpleasantness from early American history. Statues commemorating the Civil War have been torn down and the names of those Founding Fathers who owned slaves have been removed from schools and official buildings. History curriculums have been rewritten to focus only on the negative aspects of early American leaders who owned slaves or held views that are now discredited.  Many history books (especially those written for children) now only tell the bad about who the Founders were. 

History is being twisted.   

In some instances (as with the Civil War statues) the twisting is done in the name of ensuring that no tender soul is triggered by some unpleasant historical fact. This is a noble but deeply misguided desire. It is impossible to learn anything from a history we are ignorant of. The whole truth about history must be told to prevent it from being repeated and so that society can grow from the mistakes made by our ancestors. Furthermore, it is critical we judge historical figures in the context of their time rather than ours. It is perfectly reasonable to wonder how a rational human being could possibly think it was okay to own another person. That said, our generation would be wise to stop being so ridiculously patronizing and scornful of previous generations.  We should be much more cautious about judging those long dead for actions and attitudes that were culturally accepted and legally permitted during their lifetime. There is a plethora of culturally accepted and perfectly legal actions and attitudes in our time that history may judge this generation harshly for in the future. 

Seriously. Think about it. 

Alas, I suspect there are also some less-than honorable reasons for the whitewashing of 20thcentury history. Regular readers of this blog know that I work hard to avoid conspiracy theories that are unprovable. That said, I cannot help but wonder why so many people seem so intent on rewriting some of the ugliest moments of the last century. It seems to me that it is plausible that some (perhaps not all) of those folks are hoping the masses will forget the past and voluntarily embrace political movements that led previous generations into the worst kinds of earthly bondage imaginable. If voters were to forget the catastrophes of past governmental and social movements it would give opportunists the chance to grasp power and alter the political and economic landscape of Western civilization in a way that might just be irrevocable. An actual conspiracy-theorist might even argue that history is being scrubbed of the facts in a deliberate effort to mislead ignorant people too lazy to fact-check down paths too ugly to consider.


There has never been a time when it was more important for wise, thinking people to know history, teach their children history and to be willing to call out those who are attempting to rewrite history. 

Our liberty, religious freedom and civilization might just depend on it.