Quick tips for the angry young woman

  • By Team TDO

You don’t have to be as foul tempered as ‘Katherine’ in Shakespeare’s ‘The Taming of the Shrew’, to learn about anger management. Nor regret your fortune, for not being blessed with a tamer like Petruchio, to help you deal with a vile temper. It is a struggle; to forcibly contend with the everyday things that get you all flared up, each with the potential to burst a valve. So, here are a few tips for you, to cool down the fury that turns you into ‘Hurricane Sally’.

Make a list of things that bring out the worst in you

There are two things that figure prominently-first, the regular things, such as a dirty pair of socks, carelessly tossed on your bed by your husband dearest, or perhaps, the way your kids stomp around on your flower beds. Now, aren’t these the kind of things that happen quite frequently? Second, the one-off situations, such as a guy who just spat paan right next to you, or irritating car drivers that get their way on the road, honking, literally. At such times, check how you react, and try to make a pact with yourself to ensure your anger isn’t expressed in a way that gets your blood pressure to shoot up. Express your anger articulately, and not choked with rage. This way, you won’t be that typical woman throwing an apoplectic fit at anyone and everything within range.

Take a deep breath and know the nature of things

Deep breathing helps immensely to cool down and see things in perspective. Sometimes you could be just testy for the heck of it, and your kids suffer for what is just a ‘bad hair day’ for you. Deep breathing in such situations helps you relax and allows you to go ahead with what’s called, ‘justifiable anger’. So, if you feel your kids deserve a good yelling, go right ahead, but only after a couple of deep breaths.

Words are like arrows

Words are your weapons of warfare, granted! But, be careful while lashing out and giving someone the full extent of your lip. Like arrows, words have another irritating trait: once they are out, you can’t have them back. So think twice, maybe even thrice, before saying something that you might live to regret.

Look for alternatives

Alright, so you think that, your mother-in-law is a stuffy dingbat and that, you can’t stand her. Maybe, the neighbour’s kids need a good walloping. Your husband could be a lot more appreciative of all the grueling hours that you’ve been putting in. Sure, you are allowed your pet peeves lady! Nobody’s denying that. But, do you think that there is any sense in necessarily expressing all your opinions? For all you know, you might just end up hurting somebody. So, consider alternatives. Simple things like, trying and understanding what makes your mother-in-law is the way she is, helps a lot. Question yourself on what’s making you judgmental. Then, consider what can be done. Chances are that, you will actually be able to reason it out with yourself, if you are not angry.
And above all, cultivate a habit that makes you deal with the root cause of your anger, instead of senselessly expressing it. Avoid using anger to get attention and creating fear, among people to approach you. You can devise your own ways of controlling your temper, and deal with it one day at a time.