Opinion // Editorials

Thumbs up, thumbs down

A Harvey recovery bill finally lands, while the SpaceX rocket blasts off with vigor.


(Thumbs twiddled) Speaking of parades, apparently President Trump wants one in Washington after being impressed by the French military procession he saw while visiting Paris on Bastille Day. Fort Worth Congressman Marc Veasey responded by proposing the PARADE Act: "Preventing Allocation of Resources for Absurd Defense Expenditures."

Humorous acronyms aside, it's always nice to see members of Congress remember that they can restrain the presidency by passing laws. Somebody remembered what they learned in civics class.

(Thumbs down) C-SPAN fans watching to see a budget deal - with attached Harvey recovery funds - pass Congress were left biting their thumbs when U.S. Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky decided he didn't like how the extra spending would add to the national debt and blocked the whole thing. Of course, budget deficits weren't a big concern back when Paul voted for a tax cut that added $1.5 trillion to the national debt. Again: the dumbest shutdown ever.

So we had to wait for Paul, who grew up in Brazoria County, where the Brazos River became a torrent of destruction during Harvey, to decide to play nice in Washington so that our city could get the infrastructure we need to help prevent the next flood.

The next time Kentucky suffers from a series of chemical explosions in the Louisville sewers (Note to Thumbs editor: Google "natural disasters Kentucky"*), Texas should take the high road and give Kentucky what it needs.

(Thumbs up) The last time a rocket more powerful than SpaceX's Falcon Heavy slipped the surly bonds of Earth, NASA engineers wearing bell bottom pants adapted hardware leftover from a cancelled moonshot to launch Skylab.

Elon Musk's company successfully launched its new rocket from Florida this week. On board was a dummy payload of a Tesla Roadster, which is now in orbit around the sun apparently playing the David Bowie song "Space Oddity" on repeat. Doesn't Musk know that in space no one can hear you sing?

Look forward to future planned launches from the SpaceX South Texas Launch Site under construction near Brownsville.

(Thumbs twiddled) The future is female, at least when it comes to crawfish. Scientists have discovered that marbled crayfish have the unique ability to clone themselves thanks to an extra pair of chromosomes. Apparently pet owners were confused when their solitary crawfish started laying eggs. We're just confused that people keep crawfish as pets - do they live in a tank next to a mini corn-on-the-cob and a boiled potato?

No word on whether Texas plans to regulate how the abundently chromosomed crawfish use public restrooms.

(Thumbs twiddled) Not since the wave pool at the long-closed Waterworld has Houston faced a watery threat to match the bizarre tsunami warning that was sent to phones along the Texas coast this week. Yes, it was a false alarm. The National Weather Service blames AccuWeather for sending the warning; AccuWeather blames the NWS for miscoding what was supposed to be a test. Galveston surfers blamed both for getting their hopes up.