Saturday, November 12, 2011

Taiwanese food in Flushing (Gu Shine)

Oyster pancake...! (蚵仔煎)

Guuuuuuu shine...

A few months ago, I had mad cravings for Taiwanese food - stinky tofu, oyster pancakes, oil sticks, and a bunch of other shit that most white people aren't even aware of - but there exists the problem that there really aren't any incredible Taiwanese restaurants in Manhattan. Solution: go to Flushing? Evidently not. Instead of finding some dope-ass Taiwanese cuisine, all I gained was a very important life lesson: that you shouldn't eat at a restaurant solely on the basis of it having an awesome name. Even if it's a name as awesome as "Gu Shine." Unfortunately, I don't really think this is a case of the owners being massively pro at trolling people... I'm pretty sure it's just another case of fobbish translations gone demented since the Chinese name of 故鄉 is actually pretty quaint (ps - it means 'home'). What exactly is wrong with Gu Shine?

I guess... technically nothing. It's not as if the food they serve is ass-crack vile, it's just that what they serve isn't an exact reproduction of what exists in the motherland. Know that demotivational poster of "retarded ice cream?" Gu Shine is like that. They get 90% of the way there, then they do something weird and you end up with retarded versions of your nostalgic Taiwanese classics.

Saddest plate ever

Shit son, it's fuckin' oyster pancakes. I love me some fuckin' oyster pancake - so much that I'm willing to break out in hives in order to eat them. Totally worth it. But what Gu Shine did wasn't right. Sure, the requisite ingredients of potato starch, egg, and oysters (as few as there were) were all there... something wasn't quite right. This... is what oyster pancakes should look like - not a plate of placenta explosion as seen at the top. To be entirely fair, their rendition of eggs, starch, and oysters wasn't all that terrible in terms of taste. While the omelette part was kind of nondescript in terms of texture (it should be somewhat gelatinous) and bland in flavor, the sauce was pretty bangin'. But if you're thinking about it that way, you're more or less paying $4 for a plate of sauce. Does that make sense? Probably not, unless you're either rich or stupid.

Stinky tofu (臭豆腐)

There are only two things I enjoy more than shoving fermented pieces of curd that smell like asshole into my mouth, one is Reddit, and the other is probably inappropriate for public knowledge. You're probably thinking... lucky you, Gu Shine has your third most enjoyable thing in the world! Wrong. The perfect plate of stinky tofu has a pungency that offends your olfactory glands from blocks away. The scent possesses a certain endearing charm I can only assume is exactly the same as when male dogs sense a female in heat. Texturally, it should be no different from blocks of fried silken tofu - a skin that's crispy and eerily resilient with a center that essentially melts upon contact.

Blocks of fried awesome

They look like blocks of foam that got refried...

Theirs... is none of that. I was neither offended with the smell nor was I impressed with the frying. It kinda tasted like... eating blocks of semi-fried mozzarella sticks that were starting to go bad. Don't get me wrong, I still ate all of it, but my cravings weren't exactly satisfied. If nothing else, I was just confused about what I was eating. Again, it's not entirely bad, just not what I expected.

tl;dr - The search for legitimate Taiwanese food in NYC continues. Gu Shine serves Taiwanese food almost authentic enough to make you want it more, but also mediocre enough to entirely disappoint you if you've had the original. Sweet name though.

Gu Shine
135-38 39th Avenue, Queens, NY 11354

10 comments: said...

Yelp lists a number of restaurants as Taiwanese. Perhaps one or more might appeal to you.


Eileen said...

It's so hard to find great Taiwanese cuisine in America. I've been to Chinese restaurants that have Taiwanese dishes and they are nothing like the dishes in Taiwan; you can tell they did not know what they were doing.

Oh man, I went to Flushing 'cause I was thinking the same thing. "Maybe we can find something there!" Um. No. Wrong.

I miss bubble tea but most of all, I miss Pickle bun/割包.

I went to a so-called Taiwanese restaurant in South Florida with my husband and the cooks/waiters were sweating when we ate the food; they knew we were not impressed. Most of all, they knew they couldn't fool us. :D Never went back again.

I actually saw bubble tea at Epcot. It's bad enough that they're implying it's Chinese but it's even worse when it wasn't bubble tea at all. It was chocolate milk with weird jelly crap, but that's another story...

Rodzilla said...

that tofu looks like a bad homemade marshmallow.

Ben said...

There's a chain around called Liang's Kitchen. They're here in California so far, not so sure if they've hit up the East Coast, but I've had friends tell me it's okay. Not amazing, not great, not mediocre, not terrible, but okay.

esther said...

How about that place in Elmhurst? It's called Taiwanese Gourmet or something. It's on Broadway.

I've been there a number of times and liked the food, but I've never been to taiwan so what do I know.

I cannot stand stinky tofu. One day...maybe...?

Danny said...

haha you know i don't even remember what these classics are supposed to taste like. it's been that long. i've had it here in nyc, but it's always just kinda like, "yes! they're sorta doing it!" good to know that i need to return to the motherland at some point.

Howard said...

is there a place in nyc you'd recommend for good stinky tofu?

Nicholas said...

Harvey - all relatively disappointing, not to mention the fact that I hate Yelp! (not for any particular reason, just because it's the cool thing to do). So the search continues...

Eileen - Boba in NYC actually isn't awful, just overpriced. It's really just the fact that most places do a semi-adequate job that sucks... it's good enough to remind you that stuff like this exists, but not good enough to satisfy that craving. First world problem I guess.

Rodzilla - yeah, but all yellowed and shit. So like a retarded marshmallow.

Ben - Have not seen them! I think at this point I would take even "okay."

Esther - haven't been yet. Maybe one day soon! Stinky tofu... hrm, that's definitely an acquired taste. Probably like how kimchi is unbearable to a lot of non-Koreans ;)

Danny - you're doing it wrong man. Gotta go back. Go back before McD's overruns all the crappy and unsanitary stalls!

Howard - unfortunately no :( but if you come across one, def let me know bro.

Eileen said...

I was thinking about the dishes; not the bubble tea. I've actually had bubble tea that tastes as great as the bubble tea in Taiwan at one place near San Jose, California. Getting tasty bubble tea is not impossible. The dishes, on the other hand, yes. In my cases, anyway.

Anonymous said...

If you have a craving for stinky tofu and oyster pancake, I recommend you going to Red Chopsticks in Flushing.

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