
Seamus, age 4
"And on the Sixth Day, God took a break and didn't feel like making anything. Out of sheer boredom and apathy, he said, 'Let there be Seamus.' And there was Seamus, the pointy-headed, lumpy, stick-armed mess. 'Good enough,' God said, and called it a day."
Alexis, age 12
This piece could be used as a study of contrasts:

She has the hair of a vibrant woman in her 20s, the baggy dress of a housewife in her 40s, the face of a woman in her 90s, and the left-hand of a deformed child.

Joe, age 7
Even the most liberal interpretations of Dr. Martin Luther King's vision for a better world didn't include a giant cock with scribbles on its pee-hole.

Also, why is his face completely black? Even black people have facial features. Shitty worksheet, shitty student.

Megan, age 7
This is a shitty illustration and a poorly-written story, yet the message is an important one: he who has the money gets to decide where to go on vacation.

Seems fair. Too bad the execution was so shitty, I was about to give you a C, but instead, you get an

Braxton, age 6
You can be anything you want, Braxton. Maybe some day you'll grow up to suck your own dick. Dream big.

© 2002-2015 by Maddox