Dealing With Feelings

Excerpted from GUY STUFF THE BODY BOOK FOR BOYS, page 106. Published and copyrighted 2017 by American Girl Publishing. All rights reserved


Feelings come in a ton of different flavors: mad, sad, happy, silly, jealous, frustrated, embarrassed, and confused to name just a few. Our feelings shift constantly throughout the day. That’s totally normal.

But no one likes feelings emotionally out of control. We’re used to flipping from excited to stressed or from bummed out to psyched, but of any one of these emotions is exaggerated, it feels bad. Screaming at someone you care about might make you feel as awful as he feels. So what can you do when emotions take over and you are behaving, uh, not well?

  1. ID the problem. You are allowed to have whatever feelings you have, but you need to figure out what’s going on with you so that you can chill out a little. Think about how you’re feeling and what happened to make you feel that way. Pay attention to your body, too—are your teeth clenched? Do you feel sick or tired or like you want to cry or punch something? All these things can be clues to help you solve the problem.
  2. Don’t put up a wall. If you give someone the silent treatment or if you yell at him, you have put up a barrier between yourself and that other person. Find a way to express how you feel so that you can resolve the problem. Share how you feel, and apologize when you have done something you know is hurtful.
  3. Smooth the road. Make an extra effort next time around to do things a little differently. Every relationship can withstand bumps as long as you are willing to put in the work to fix them.