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Abbott and Costello meet Windows 95

Abbott and Costello meet Windows 95 

Costello:  Hey, Abbott!
Abbott:    Yes, Lou?
Costello:  I just got my first computer.
Abbott:    That's great Lou. What did you get?
Costello:  A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.
Abbott:    That's terrific, Lou
Costello:  But I don't know what any of it means!!
Abbott:    You will in time.
Costello:  That's exactly why I am here to see you.
Abbott:    Oh?
Costello:  I heard that you are a real computer expert.
Abbott:    Well, I don't know-
Costello:  Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me.
Abbott:    Really?
Abbott:    O.K. Lou. What do you want to know?
Costello:  I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.
Abbott:    That's true.
Costello:  So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?Abbott:    Well, first you press the Start button, and then-
Abbott:    I know, you press the Start button-
Costello:  Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Abbott:    I did.
Costello:  When?
Abbott:    When I told you to press the Start button.
Costello:  Why should I press the Start button?
Abbott:    To shut off the computer.
Costello:  I press Start to stop.
Abbott:    Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.
Costello:  I knew it! So what do I press.
Abbott:    Start
Costello:  Start what?
Abbott:    Start button.
Costello:  Start button to do what?
Abbott:    Shut down.
Costello:  You don't have to get rude!
Abbott:    No, no, no! That's not what I meant.
Costello:  Then say what you mean.
Abbott:    To shut down the computer, press-
Costello:  Don't say, "Start!"
Abbott:    Then what do you want me to say?
Costello:  Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Abbott:    But that's what you do.
Abbott:    Don't be ridiculous.
Costello:  I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversion.
Abbott:    What are you talking about?

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