December 4, 2009

Morningstar Buffalo Wings

It's football season (as some of you may be aware...) and sometimes, in our household, we like to have wings while we're watching the Vikings kick butt. So this week I'm going to let you know how the Morningstar Farms Buffalo Wings fared.

First off, I baked these in the oven, as directed, turning them over halfway, because I wanted them to be crispy. My first impression of these is that the looked like chicken nuggets, all breaded and nugget-looking. While they were baking, they smelled super delicious! Also, in the grand tradition of Morningstar products, there were 17 "wings" in the box. *sigh* Morningstar, why do you do this to me?

Once they came out of the oven, we divided them up as well as we could between the three of us (me, my wife, and our roommate), and gave them a try. My first thought was, "pretty tasty - a little mushy, though. Hey... that's really starting to heat up..." The spiciness kept increasing as I finished my first one, and made the unfortunate decision to eat a second one, thinking the spiciness had plateaued. Nope - got spicier.

Now, I'll be the first to admit, my spice tolerance is very low. It's gotten better over the years, but I know I'm pretty sensitive. I had to stop eating these after my second one, because my mouth was on fire! I could find nothing that would dull the pain. I asked my wife and roommate how spicy these seemed to them, since they can handle much more spice than I can, especially my wife. She goes to Thai restaurants and boldly declares that she wants her food "four fireballs" worth of spiciness. They both declared these a 7 out of 10 based on their personal spice tolerance scales. I felt a bit better after hearing this.

As for flavor, I had no idea what they tasted like, other than hot, so I had to rely on their comments. Our roommate claimed they had a "slight fake-meat flavor" and gave them a C. My wife said they were basically just spicy chicken nuggets, and had a bad aftertaste, giving them a C+. She said she would just rather get plain chicken nuggets and add sauces from there. I agreed, since I could actually eat those.

The experience:
Texture - crispy on the outside, kinda mushy on the inside
Flavor - pain!

Final grade for this attempt: C, for people who can actually taste them; F from me


  1. See now, I did not think these were in the least bit spicy. I had to smother them in tobasso for there to be any hint of flavor.

  2. Then you must have a much higher spice tolerance than I do. These just about killed me!

  3. I'm a big fan of the MorningStar Buffalo Wings. I've never had non-spicy buffalo they exist?
    Regardless, good review. Thanks!

  4. Thanks, gwennaelle! I have had non-spicy real-meat buffalo wings, but I had to make them myself. That's definitely the way to go. Maybe that's the answer for fake-meat wings as well?

  5. I have a pretty low tolerance for spiciness, and I love these! They're actually one of my favorite products. In fact, I just got done eating them for lunch. Still a good review, though, as much as I might disagree with your conclusion.

  6. i really like these, but when i eat them i usually dip them in sour cream which takes a lot of the heat out and compliments them really well. if you're feeling brave you might want to try them like that! ^_^ (sorry for spamming your site all at once by the way, and only commenting on morningstar stuff, i generally don't like lightlife products, aside from their deli "meats" and we don't have a super good selection of veggie replacements in my area other than that.)

  7. Rachel - I wish my spice tolerance were higher so that I could maybe enjoy these. They seemed pretty good, until the heat caught up with me.

    J - I usually do douse spicy things in dairy products to cut the heat - I think we had some ranch dressing or something lying around, but that just didn't work. Maybe I'll try it again with sour cream. And I have no problem with the many, and brand-focused, comments. I enjoy hearing from people who are reading my silly little blog.

  8. This was the first fake meat product I tried when I went vegetarian. Love them, but I have a really high spice tolerance. Try putting them in a sandwich with some lettuce and a little blue cheese, between the water in the lettuce, the creaminess of the blue cheese and the density of the bread, the heat factor is definitely taken down a notch. You won't even be able to tell it isn't a real chicken patty. Also, I've found that with any MSF product, it's best to almost overcook it a little bit, 3-4 more minutes than it recommends, it definitely improves the texture.

  9. hey i love them plain but i eat 16 bags of doritos flamas a day

  10. I just tried these today and thought they were quite good. But I like hot wings...I cooked them 2 or 3 minutes longer than the minimum on the package and added Red Hot sauce after they were cooked (did I say I like my Buffalo wings hot?). :)