Unthreesonable. Yeah, it’s a noun. My wife coined it, and it has all sorts of applications.

Kid is holding his crotch and moonwalking like Michael Jackson, then tells you “no” when you ask if he needs to go to the bathroom… THEN, five minutes later, pees his pants?

That’s unthreesonable.

Kid points to something white on a wall outside and asks if it’s bird poop. Then, after we say it is, sticks his finger in it anyway… and later has the audacity to ask, “Was that bird poop?”

That’s unthreesonable.
Or this:

Kid hits you. 

You tell them it hurts and makes you sad. 

They say “No, it doesn’t.” 

You say, “How do you feel when your friends hit you?” 

“Sad,” they say.

“Why?” you say.

“Because it hurts,” they say.

Aha! A breakthrough! 

“Well, that’s how I feel when you hit me,” you say.

“No, you don’t,” they say. “My hitting feels good.”

That’s unthreesonable.

And that, of course, is just a sampling. An appetizer of huh? and are you kidding? and FML.

It’s also just part of the picture. Because three year olds are also the world’s biggest sticklers for the comforting logic of routine.

I started reading a book to my son the other night. I had to read the first page four times because the first time I accidentally left out a word (unacceptable!) and the next two times I read it with the wrong inflection (sad!).

A favorite food one night can be a hated food the next. A toy ignored and eventually put in a donation box can suddenly (and suspiciously) become a favorite.

It’s no wonder little kids are fond of playing dress up. That’s basically what they do with their interests and emotions: try them on, discard them, repeat.

It’s not always easy keeping up. It’s not always convenient. But who are we to talk?

Parents spend all this time and energy complaining about how little sleep they get, then when the kids are in bed, what do they do?  Stay up late scrolling through Facebook to click on articles like this that remind them of how little sleep they get.

That’s just duuumb.

Problem is, un34sonable doesn’t have the same ring to it. I’m supposed to have my act together by now.