Something happened last week that really got me thinking. No, it wasn’t the sexy hip-hopper with the perfect little mouth from Miami I made out with, although that certainly gives one pause. No, it was seeing an old friend who is sweet and lovable; a Midwestern white girl who is creative, funny, and talented as all get out.

It’d been a while since we last seen each other and inevitably our conversation turned to sex. I don’t know how we got there, but at some point we started talking about but as it did, she commented on how she was amazed at my ability to take on big black dicks.

I bit my tongue.

“Yeah, I’ve seen the pornos and those little white girls and they just get pummeled by those big black dicks and I mean for you, it must be even more intense cause you take it in the butt.”

(No comment on the assumption she made that as a gay man I must automatically take it in the butt. I mean, I do, but I also have no problem with being the butt-fucker. I guess that’s commentary enough, although I said no comment. Whatever. Work with me.)

Now, I’ve seen tiny little white girl/big black dick porn and I get the whole taboo element of it. Black men have always been seen as sexual dynamos. There’s the racial element of it, cuckolded pencil pinky-dicked white men having their pure as the driven snow white women banged bowlegged by big black bucks who moonlight as tripods.

Look, people I hate to break this to you, but sadly, with all the negative clichés and stereotypes that exist about black people and specifically black men, not all of them are true. For example, I’ve never been to jail, don’t have any children out of wedlock (obviously), and have never worn any clothing from a line created by a rap impresario. By the same token, not every black man is blessed to have some foot-long cock shoved down the front of their pants.

And by the same token, there are some white guys who have trouble putting on pants (and probably those skinny jeans made so popular by those indie rock fellas) because their junk is just so massive, it puts the rise in low rise.

Porn companies are selling you fantasy and fetish people. We all have and indulge in them. There are things I’ve watched in porn that I would NEVER do in my real sex life, but that’s why porn exists…to give me the option to be gratified in that way that only porn can (or should).

The average penis is between 5-7 inches. And that applies to all men, yes, even the Asian who tends to get the shaft in public opinion when it comes to having big cocks (Google: Van Darkholme if you’re a perv and want proof). And it also applies to the alleged Mandingo-dicked black dudes who are also just average size dick possessors.

Without giving anything away, I’m sure in my sexual history, I’ve disappointed some non-black folk by not exceeding the length of a 12-inch school ruler. But its ok, because I work what I have, and I’m pretty damn good at it. No real complaints, and as much as I, probably like most gay men, personally enjoy a big fat one, it’s not a deal breaker. Cause I also like a high and tight sweet ass–maybe even more than some Apollo 13 sized rocket ship dick.

Okay, so to sum up, its not all about having a sub sandwich in your shorts, and porn isn’t real. Just like we all don’t have six pack abs, all of our hair, perfect teeth, or (sadly) bubble butts. It doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy good times, both platonic, romantic, and sexual, with people who live and inhabit the tangible real world.

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