Tuesday, August 28, 2007

NYC Leads the Way

In North Carolina, they'll give you a $10,000 bonus if you can teach Algebra 1. I did fairly well in Algebra, though I'm not sure all that mountain air would agree with me. In NY City, they're offering 5000 bucks to help you get settled if you're a new math teacher (If you're already in, too bad).

The retirement of thousands of baby boomer teachers coupled with the departure of younger teachers frustrated by the stress of working in low-performing schools is fueling a crisis in teacher turnover that is costing school districts substantial amounts of money as they scramble to fill their ranks for the fall term.

And it's not only in NC, but all over the country that people are having this problem. They can't seem to get all the highly qualified teachers they need. Historically, NYC has always known how to deal with such crises, and the rest of the country could easily follow suit.

1. Raise class sizes. If you have more kids in any given class, you'll need fewer teachers.

2. Forget all this "highly qualified" nonsense and make the gym teacher teach algebra. If the kids get out of hand, he's got a whistle.

3. Start programs to train teachers. Let them "earn while they learn."

4. Ask the state to lower teacher standards for your district. Tell them it's just for a while, and when a while passes, ask them to do it again.

5. Squeeze as many kids as possible into every corner of every building there is, and save a few bucks on school construction.

6. If teachers fail basic competency tests, or fail to meet requirements, keep them on anyway. Just make sure their salaries are capped at step 4, and it's like two for the price of one.

Do these things, and the whole supply and demand thing won't remotely affect you. And if anything does go wrong, just blame the teachers.
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