He's fat,
He's round,
He weighs a thousand pounds,
He's Mr McGillivray

One of the most popular staff members is Mr McGillivray, a svelte, lithe young chipmunk of a man. Well known for his sunny optimism and carefree attitude towards paperwork, he lives a life of decadent abandon at "Gilvo Towers", his 10-storey state-of-the-art avant-garde batchelor pad in Swingin' Harpenden. When he enters a classroom, however, he cunningly transforms himself into a fat, humourless bastard with horrible dress sense and no life. But we all know what he's really like, deep down (about 10 miles, in fact), inside.