

You are your habits.

Habits are really hard to break. It doesn’t matter how many tricks you read about, it doesn’t matter if there’s a “change your habits in 28 days… or your money back”. You may as well ask for the money back now, because habits are hard to break. Now, that is not to say that they are impossible and you’re stuck with it forever.. but it’s going to take work.

I know someone who every time he walks past the kitchen he opens the refrigerator. He is constantly surprised by this fact. He could have just finished eating dinner and just walks into the kitchen to throw away a piece or paper.. he  opens the refrigerator. He can be walking through to head up to his bedroom or to the bathroom.. opens the refrigerator. It drives him insane. He doesn’t even mean to, it just happens. It’s a habit.

downloadI know someone else who has to have the TV on at all times. She walks into the house and automatically turns on the TV, whether or not there is something she wants to watch or not she turns it on and scans or searches or just keeps it on for background. This inevitably causes her to sit and watch instead of doing things on her “to-do” list, but it’s a habit. She doesn’t think about it, she just does.

I saw a meme on social media today about how parents are advised to put something “important” in the backseat with their babies as to not forget them, and people are going crazy, “what is more important than your baby!”.. but this is not about important, this is about habit. People so commonly do things out of habit they sometimes are at a detriment to themselves or their loved ones.

One man eats when he’s not hungry. One woman sits mindlessly watching TV. One parent drives to work on auto-pilot forgetting that it’s his/her day to drop the baby at daycare. All are important, some just have a more immediate result. All are the result of habits. Drug abuse is often called a “habit” and to a certain extent it is. When someone starts to feel a certain way they turn to what has worked in the past.. their “habit” for feeling better.

There are good habits and obviously there are horrible habits. All are easier to create than to make. So when you see something that says, “break habits in 28 days” what it’s really saying is create new habits.. that is possible.. but again.. not all habits are good, and even good habits designed to take the place of bad habits are not as easy to make/break. If you want to make it a habit to take off your shoes every time you walk into a house.. sure, a month later it may just be ingrained in your head, you may not even think about it. Your neuro-pathways have been sparked and you have reminded yourself enough that it’s habit. Same as your drive to work.. it’s auto-pilot.

If you want to stop yourself from looking in the fridge, or get yourself into a new exercise routine, or find better ways of coping with problems than drugs.. that’s going to take time. That’s going to take more than reminding yourself for a couple weeks. That’s going to take creating a new sense of self.. because those habits are linked to your personality, your ego. Those habits are part of what makes you you and how you see yourself as a person.

If you want to break major bad habits you have to decide that you are not a person who does these things. You are a non-smoker. You are a healthy person. You are strong. Because the moment you are a fat person trying to act differently your brain stops listening. The moment that you are an addict trying to be better.. you’ll have all the excuses why you it is who you are. You can’t go to the gym.. you’re too fat, people will laugh. It’s ok if you eat the cake.. you’re fat.. and everyone else is. It’s ok if you use again today… all your friends are and you don’t want to lose your friends.

You are not those things. You are a being that inhabits a body. You are whatever you tell yourself that you are. If you decide that you are healthy and are only going to do healthy things, and keep that in your mind, your heart, and your self.. your ego will evolve. Your habits will form. New habits, based on who you decide that you are. If you are an excuse… then you’ll never run out of those.

coaching, Health, Uncategorized, Wellness, women

How one roadtrip snack could ruin my weekend.







How do you resolve to make the world better?











Try something new…. anything!
















coaching, Health, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness, women

What happens outside the comfort zone?

When was the last time that you did something outside of your comfort zone? Most of us live our lives by routine, which isn’t entirely bad. There is a lot to be said for security and piece of mind, but there is also more to life.

When was the last time you did something spontaneous? I have a friend that posted to Facebook, “Hey girls, who has a passport, a couple hundred bucks and Wed and Thursday off?”… That was it, she was headed to Canada for a road trip and looking for volunteers. I remember going with her to NY City a few years back… pre-baby days.

I loved this post. I loved even more that she had real responses. People who just wanted to enjoy their life without worrying about the “What ifs?”.

Now, not all of us have that much flexibility. I know I have work, my kid has school, and things aren’t as they were 5-10 years ago for me, but that doesn’t stop me from the occasional weekend run. Have kid will travel. It also doesn’t make me feel stuck to a job that I hate, or a situation that makes me miserable.

When my father passed a few years back I could have panicked. I was working p/t at the time and I was a stay at home single mother. My father was the breadwinner, though I paid rent to him and helped him with his health problems, my father was the one who made the real money. When he passed I could have freaked out and stuck my kid in daycare and gone back to the grind that I hated! I was offered a job making great money but working 50-60 hours a week. That is not what I wanted for my family.

I managed to find jobs that I could continue to either do from home, or at least bring my son with me. I started studying health and wellness. I got certified in Life Coaching. I made tough decisions that didn’t guarantee financial success, but offered me much more personal success.

Now my son is entering Pre-K. Still one more year till full-time school, but I am planning out the best way to fit his schedule into my schedule. To me, spending time with my son is the most important thing I can do. And living a life that helps others get and stay healthy so they don’t have to face the horrors of diabetes that I did with my father.. and lose someone or themselves too soon. I love that my life is about helping others realize their true potential. I love that my job is about living life to the fullest.

What is it that you love about your life? What do you hate? And what are you going to do about it?

coaching, Health, Love, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness, women

Are you creating the life you want or the life you fear?

I recently had one of those “Timehop” posts come up. It was a quote from my dad right before he was about to go into surgery. I was worried… as any good daughter would be and saying that anything could happen when he’s under. He responded, “You’re right, anything can happen, and if you’re going to imagine things happening. Imagine good things.”. I loved that quote. That was so him. Most of the time, that is so me.

thWe are what we imagine that we are. There is a quote “Worrying is praying for things you don’t want to happen.”, and it’s so true. We spend so much time in our heads imagining what we want. What we don’t want. What we’re afraid of. What we long for. We get them all mixed up and eventually we put all our effort into thinking about things that we hope never happen.

Now the Law of Attraction say that if we concentrate on bad things that we can make them happen. The law of averages says that if we wait long enough something bad will happen. My law is, why waist one second thinking about things you don’t want when there are soooo many things out there that you do.

Let’s say that you spend your days worried that your spouse is cheating on you, and what will you do if he leaves you because you can’t afford things on your own… and OMG you’re getting fat…. well, now you’re consumed by this. You get depressed you eat more. You can’t concentrate on work. You lose your job. You’re a miserable person and your spouse leaves you and you say “SEE! Bad things always happen”.

Did the law of attraction make that happen? Did the law of consequences? Did the law of averages? Now… same person… doesn’t fret about the relationship and enjoys the time with the partner.. and the time by herself. She excels at work. She joins a health program like a gym, meditation or cooking class. She actually enjoys her life. Then she finds out she had all that free time because the spouse was cheating… Ok .. that sucks! But she has way more going on in her own life to keep her going. She has friends, and hobbies, and a fulfilling career and it’s not, “See, bad things always happens.” It’s, “Wow, what an arse.. I deserve better.” And that’s exactly what she get.


Work it Girl!

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Someone loses a whole lot of weight and someone else says to them, “Oh wow! You look amazing! How did you lose it?”. Seems like a rational question… then the response. “Well, I cut out/down on my sugar intake. Ate more veggies and exercised”, and suddenly the inquiry is lost on deaf ears.

thNo one wants to “do the work” anymore. When you look at the check out line magazines, the random ads on the internet or TV, or a million books in the bookstores and they are all “get….. quick”. It doesn’t matter what it is. Get rich, lose weight… find the perfect man. It’s all about the here and now moment.

If you cut out all carbs… all gluten.. all dairy you will lose weight. Sure… if you stop eating you will lose weight, but it is not sustainable forever. If you take this pill you will lose 10 lbs in a week… yes.. and probably live in the bathroom.. it’s not fat that you’re losing.

Here’s a hint. If you want to be a healthy, fit person.. you have to BE a happy, fit person. Be is actually a verb. You have to do the work. You have to say no to the cake.. mostly. You have to exercise. You have to drink your water and eat your veggies. You have to BE. That is not to say that you can NEVER have cake again. In fact that’s the biggest problem with the crash and trendy diets. They cut things out instead of teaching you how to eat them responsibly. I will say, I joined weight watchers years ago and one of the things that I liked was that you were able to learn the value of foods.. and what is worth the calories and what is not.. but you have to do the work.

If you want to drop 10 lbs to fit into a dress, by all means juice for the week and lose the water weight that helps that pouch out… but don’t expect the to actually help you to lose fat. And always check with a doctor before starting any restrictive diet. They all rack havoc on your body and hormones.


What’s your excuse?

We all have them? What’s your excuse for not doing what ever it is that you want so desperately to do? What is your excuse for not asking for the raise, for not asking out that hottie, for not losing the weight, for not being happy?

My weight was always my excuse in the past. It was much easier to blame my failures on a specific almost external problem. If I was just fit then… what ever would happen. I thwould find love. I could get a better job. I could…. whatever. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my brains, my  “real” looks, my ambition. It was just that I was overweight, and as soon as I got in shape my world would be great… I just had other things that took priority over losing weight. I can always do that later.

Then the new excuses start. I have to work. I have school. I have kids.. I have pizza parties. There is always an excuse. The problem is that we don’t actually have an unlimited amount of time to change. We have to make the decisions in our life that will accomplish the goal we desire.

We have to go for the job. We have to ask out the hottie. We have to lose the weight. That takes actual work. I’m asked all the time how I’ve lost weight, as if there’s some trick that I’m hiding from them. I tell them I just eat healthier and exercise more. “UGH… never mind”. Now if I said that I took a magic pill then they would run to the store and try it. But that’s the thing. There is no magic pill. There’s no get rich quick scheme. There’s no love potion. All there is is determination and focus.

There is the decision to change your life. The plan to make it happen and the follow-through to make it to the end. No one has ever made a difference by half-assing. Now one has ever won an Olympic medal by practicing on the weekends. No marriage has ever lasted by ignoring the problems. No company has every become a success by taking too many breaks.

We have to make the big changes. We have to become the person that is… whatever we want to be. We have to develop the habits of the successful person… and we can’t let our excuses rule our destiny.