OK, you know from the headline that this piece from The Hollywood Reporter is going to be ridiculous, but it’s even more laughable than you’d suspect.

Did you know that actress Shailene Woodley gets 97 percent of her clothes from thrift stores and “gathers her water from fresh springs when she gets the opportunity”? Wow! Emma Watson and Olivia Wilde have both launched eco-friendly clothing lines “rooted in sustainable fashion.” Natalie Portman “believes that all of her activism is related, from veganism to feminism,” and narrated a documentary about the meat industry.

We could go on and on, but if every single American citizen would just start their own sustainable fashion line, the earth would be saved.

Oh, and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Well, Drew Barrymore produces her entire line of beauty products in the United States to avoid the environmental impact of transportation and shipping. That’s pretty green.