Lagniappe: Seltzer Swingin' Back Around

For the first time in my 24 years, I am finally, suddenly, very bored of water.

Water is great! Growing up I could never understand my friends who hated it and guzzled soda or fruit juice instead. Water. Is. Delicious. But, I'm bored by my plain old personality-free friend.

Fortunately my temporary boredom with the stuff seems to be coinciding with a burgeoning new food trend: the resurgence of seltzer as the go-to beverage of choice for those wanting something a bit more interesting than water but not laden with the sugar and artificial colors of soda.

Yes! Seltzer! That old fashioned thing! In the last few years new varieties have popped onto the market with flavours ranging from classics like lemon lime and orange to fancy schmancy new stuff like pomegranate-whatever, toasted coconut creme and melon-something. SAUCY.

Now let's just be clear here: seltzer water is seltzer water. It's water that has had science-y things done to it that add bubbles. Voila! Flavouring is now often added as well, and it's an inexpensive (cheaper than mineral water and soda) option.

It's not mineral water (which is naturally carbonated water from springs that presumably has minerals but tastes like garbage), or club soda (basically the same as mineral water except the mineral components aren't natural and are instead artificially added), or tonic water (which is a whole different ballgame; usually very sweet and with added quinine; you probably know it as the bangin' companion to gin). It's just seltzer water.

So if you're looking to cut down on your crippling soda addiction--which you should, not only because restaurants and countries around the world are beginning to tax the shit out of it but because it's rubbish and will probably kill you--or you're just bored like me and looking for more interesting ways to stay hydrated this summer without any guilt, give seltzer a shot.

If you're lucky enough to own a SodaStream, then you're set without any of these. It's certainly on my wish list, but until then, here are my suggestions:

  • I'm hooked on the lemon-lime flavour from Poland Springs; it's cheap and comes in cans so the freshness lasts longer. It's *packed* with bubbles, which is my favourite part.
  • Polar offers larger bottles of much more exotic flavours; they're slightly harder to find and I don't like the bigger size because they lose carbonation more quickly, but the flavours are interesting and fun to try.
  • If you prefer less powerful carbonation with just a hint of flavour, try the Nestle Pure Life line for more of a gentle fizz.
  • LaCroix is of course a classic, but the 80's era acid-washed cans look tacky as hell and the flavour is too mild for my tastes.

Are you on the seltzer train too? If so what are some new brands or flavours I should try?

Posted on July 1, 2015 .