@ Action News

Argon -- Editor


SpinDizzy Toons Rejoice

The toon population of SpinDizzy were overjoyed to see the vote of no confidence in Michael Eisner. However most feel that the humans didn't propose a sufficient solution to the Eisner problem, since the new Chief Executive Officer, George J. Mitchell was in Eisner's camp. Some toons complained there aren't any toons on the board, and wondered how a company whose foundation was built on cartoons could be managed without representation of the founders of the company.

Skyler, local cartoon rabbity-bird said, ""Well, it's true; a 43% withholding of votes from the shareholders is pretty dire, and Disney had to do something. But doing it that -quickly- kinda points to them hoping the whole problem will just go away, rather than fixing the systemic problems in Disney's corporate ranks."

Skyler then jumped on Argon's head, chirped, and bounced down, making a wide face with her beak. She then unfolded a few items at her feet. "I did show you this neat golden parachute I picked up, didn't I?" As she unfurled the end, she remarked, "All the best executives get 'em. Why not me?"

However, @Action News has discovered that Mr. Mitchell may not be all he appears. Sources tell this reporter that in reality, George is actually the 8th dwarf, Smirky, who was cut from the classic film, Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs. He appears much taller in public because he is standing on the shoulders of the 9th dwarf, who wasn't even considered for the film due to his un-cute appearance. This dwarf has been revealed by the same informed sources as Gimli. Gimli, of course, found work in The Lord of the Rings film series. It was pointed out that Smirky didn't make his rise to power until after the release of the Lord of the Rings films, to allow Gimli to take his position of support.

Although the reduction of Eisner's power is a step in the right direction, say local toons, more work needs to be done to completely remove him from the Disney organization. Several members of the toon population mentioned the Save Disney website which is an expression of Roy Disney's and Stanley Gold's views, both of whom oppose Eisner.

Terra Get A Little Not-Quite-There Ink

A conversation with a new character who Wednesday morning was concerned about his inability to create an interesting and meaningful personality in less than five years turned to sage advice from Terra, renowned not-quite-there mink, who with Austin shared some of her history in becoming the rich and beloved character she now is. Terra, they noted, needed under three and a half years to become a fully developed personality.

Austin explained, "She used to be a not-quite-there skink, and it just didn't catch on. Then she tried being a not-quite-there sink, and all her relationships just went down the drain.''

"I also used to be a not-quite there drink,'' said Terra, "but that dried up.''

Said Austin, "There were a few months as not-quite-there pink, but that was too high-concept and she couldn't stand the Henry Mancini music everywhere.'' More, "She was ready to be a not-quite-there dink, but Mozdoc got to the place first.'' This drew shudders from Terra and Roofus_roo, both of whom well remember the former three-headed, three-eyed winged unicorn centaurpede.

As Terra hid in Roofus_roo's pouch Austin continued, "And, of course, she only shows herself as a not-quite-there kink if you're really good, know her well, go someplace private and prove yourself a dazzling conversationalist.''

Terra noted she considered herself sometimes to be a not-quite-there link; Austin recalled how last winter she was a not-quite-there rink and all went skating on her. That ended, of course, when Spindizzy's pride of Canadians teamed up for ice hockey, and she had to call a stop to it.

Finally Terra reminded the Rose Garden of the existence of her older brother Coryn, the blue mink, sent by her mother to watch over her after Austin said that her time as the "not-quite-there wink just signals to the nigh-mythical male mink when to tend to her.'' Austin stands by his statement that male minks are the rarest of all mustelids.

You Missed Really Cool Morning

You missed a really cool day Monday morning, sources report. While historically the evenings United States time have been the most popular, the mornings and early afternoons have been growing in popularity with a heavier concentration of roleplaying and in-character events occuring even in the Rose Garden. This trend reached a recent peak Monday with a criss-crossing of whimsical events in character's personal histories intersecting and leaving everyone a little stranger and happier for the experience. Details of the morning in question are highly variable, but all participants agree: you missed a really cool get together.

JayTee Given Tail

JayTee, human, grew a tail Saturday morning in a display of astounding super-science put on by Beltrami, balloon human. Following his request for a tail of some sort she reconfigured his body to include a long, golden-furred, prehensile tail resembling that of a spider monkey.

She made use of her device generally taken to be a storage unit. Under Beltrami's direction it glowed a violet light over JayTee, which he took to be a scanning phase. Then, with the light changed, it dematerialized JayTee's midsection, and reconstructed it with the new limb in place. JayTee and Beltrami proceeded to practice his use of the tail, demonstrating that it could grip, hold, and lift items.

JayTee has announced no plans for his tail yet, but looks forward to making use of it in future. Asked to explain how her device works, Beltrami -- who has no voice -- shook her head no and folded her arms. She nodded when asked if it could perform other incredible feats with her device, however.

Austin, Findra Swap Nothing

Austin and Findra swapped no body parts this week. They have in past week traded ears (left and right) and tails (one per person). Authorities are at a loss to explain this lack of change.

Argon Speaks at Centaur Conference

Argon, local centaur was asked to speak at the 2004 Centaur Conference. Held this year in Richmond, Virginia. centaurs from all over the world met to hear and see presentations, discuss centaur life, see new centaur related products, and hipbump.

Although not all centaurs were able to attend, many of the talks and presentations were webcast. Comments from "off site", as they say, were heard, and overall everyone had an enjoyable time. In addition to the centaurs who attended, a number of folks in human form attended.

Argon was asked to speak on his Centaur State of Mind theory. This is a theory he has proposed that it takes a certain way of thinking to be a centaur. In addition, Argon mentioned the comparison almost everyone makes between centaurs and horses. For those who haven't heard it, Argon usually responds with his "Horse-like but Not Like a Horse Speech", as follows;

"I am a Centaur. I have aspects of both Man and Equine, yet physically I am neither. I combine the best attributes of both. The poise, grace, strength, and balance of a Horse, the intelligence, dexterity, and morality of a Man combined into a form that is both, yet neither. I am not a Man attached to a Horse, nor a Horse growing out of a Man. I do not have Human or Horse parts. Both aspects are combined into a single being whose aspects flow smoothly from one to another to form a Centaur. I am not forced to follow the instinctual actions of a Horse. I do not lust after female Horses, I do not eat grass or hay, and I do not exhibit 'arousal' uncontrollably. I am a Centaur, not a Horse. If the obvious intellectual differences between a Horse and myself are not obvious, the glaring physical differences should be. If you cannot see the differences at a glance, you are either blind, or ignorant. I hope such ignorance can be eliminated."

Although it is common for centaurs to be compared to horses, it is rare that folks compare centaurs to humans.

All in all the conference was a great success, and Argon was glad he got to go. Nonetheless, he is glad to be home.

Argon would also like to express his appreciation to Austin, local coati, and all who contributed to last week's version of @Action News. Thanks to the coati's hard work, the paper's continuous run has remained uninterupted.

Lance Vulpnine on Quest

Lance Vulpnine, widower of the late Alicia Vulpnine and Grandfather of Alex Vulpnine, has left Spindizzy for an extended journey in search of chaonite. Chaonite, a rare mineral crystal and unavailable in this part of the universe, is a necessary ingredient for Alicia's resurrection.

Lance has yet to abdicate his kingdom to Alex, promising to do so if Alicia's resurrection is deemed impossible. During his absence, his personal home has been vacated and left under watch & care. Lance says he has no idea how long his mission will take, but may be making occasional visits to Spindizzy.

Honey of a Joke

Ba'ar, local bear was being looked for and the following conversation ensued;

Millicent says, "Where did Ba'ar go?"
Butterfluff says, "Banking, I think."
Argon says, "Had a honey shipment coming in."
Millicent says, "sounds sticky."
Argon says, "Well, he got stung on the last deal."
Millicent says, "He's in the wrong beesiness"
Argon says, "He deserves a hive five."
Millicent says, "Sweet."
Argon says, "It's an important deal. He was making his fur look nice with a new comb."
Argon says, "Ba'ar once had an audience with the Queen you know."
Millicent listens to you drone on.

Although not at all associated with the exchange above, there are more bee jokes to be found. I thought this page to be the best.

Now, go on about your beesiness!

Bearing Up

Ba'ar.Welcome to latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba" ar (That" s me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up, My word processor says "neighbour" is misspelled. What do I do?
- Speller

Dear Speller:
Obviously you're from the UK and your word processor hails from the States where we spell things differently. Best to get a word processor from the UK and your spelling will be correct.

Dear Bearing Up:
My cub has asked me to read the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Is this appropriate material for my little one?
- Mama Bear

Dear Mama Bear:
It is NOT appropriate material for your little one. It is, after all, a story about a little lady who breaks into a family's house, steals their food, breaks their furniture and uses their bed without permission to take a nap..that and she gets away scot free!

Dear Bearing Up,
How can I get rich? - Joe

Dear Joe: Rob a Bank.

Dear Bearing Up,
I was Chairman of the Board for a large entertainment company. It looks like I may need a new job by next year. What should I do?
- M. Eisner

Dear M. Eisner:
McDonald's is always hiring. They always need fry cooks.

Dear Bearing up:
I just got back from a business trip and would rather not have to go back to work. How can I get time off without using up my sick or vacation days?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
Call in dead. That should take care of it.

Dear Bearing Up,
I have used my credit cards too much and they are sending people to my house to collect payment. Since I lost my job, I can't pay. How can I stop the credit card companies from bothering me?
- M. Card

Dear M. Card:
Buy a gun. That should take care of the collectors.

Dear Bearing Up, Is abstinence really possible?
- Palmer

Dear Palmer:
Sure it is. Monks do it. Become a monk. That'll take care of things.

Dear Bearing Up,
why do we have to keep track of time with watches and sundials? - Timekeeper

Dear Timekeeper:
Because nothing else would give us the proper time.


Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week, Argon asked, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News. The question this week is, 'What's the difference between a 'snug' and a 'hug'?"

  • GrumpyBear grumbles, "PG and G?"
  • Darius says, "A hug is Simple arms wrapped around. I think a snug is tighter, and involves some movement?"
  • Warusa chitters, "a snug is a mini hug... That, Regis is my final answer."
  • Borris says, "A Snug, is not involving cracking of bones, where a a Hug often results in the cracking of bones :)"
  • Roland says, "A snug is a hug with the consonant H replaced with the consonants S and N"
  • Hayley (Or Honey(?)) smiles, "Thnug utheth more than jutht armth." (A snug uses more than just arms.)
  • Brenda then turns to Argon "The main difference between a hug and a snug, I'd say, is amount of body contact and length of the contact."
  • Lupinetiger wurfs, "I think it depends on the timing on how long it's held."
  • Cye says, "A hug is short and snugs is long and tight."
  • Logreth telepaths, < It has to do with the quantum resonance of the snug:hug ratio in the average collective of semi-human creatures.>
  • Butterfluff -- A snug has a bit more of a cuddle to it than a hug -- it lingers longer, and might include some neck-nuzzling.
  • Austin -- Snugs are easier than hugs, particularly when two people have disparate sizes or shapes.
  • Timesheart -- A hug is done with the arms and hands, and a snug is done with arms, hands, and nose. A snug is done just prior, theoretically, to sniffing someone.
  • Vixie says, "I think a snug is a bit more affectionate, usually done when those involved know each other well. A hug can be a bit less formal, more a sign of friendship than true affection."
  • Gina_Doberman says, "Ummmm..... Not sure!"
  • Vixie says, "A snug gets you bitten, a hug gets a glare. :)"
  • Leslie pips, "Snugs are nice friendly little things and hugs are big hard squeezes that almost pop you inside-out."
  • Gilead chirps, "Snugs are quick and noncommital. They're a special subset of hug."
  • Adara purrs, "A 'hug' just involves wrapping your arms around someone for a few seconds and squeezing lightly. A 'snug' involves wrapping your arms around them for a longer time, with maybe a head bump. I don't know. I think everyone thinks of a snug as a different thing. But I associate it more with snuggling. But again, everyone thinks a snug is something different."
  • Mouser checks...Mouser hugs Gilead, then snugs Gilead! He hisses, "In the case of otters, no difference at all, Argon."
  • PatchO'Black mews, "I've always thought of a hug as wrapping both arms around someone and giving an extended squeeze. A snug, on the other hand, can be one or two arms, usually around the shoulders, and a quick squeeze."

Notices And Corrections

Role-Play Expo #2: This Sunday

Given the positive response to RP on SpinDizzy, what can happen but to hold one more RP Expo? This time, the Expo will cover a few more topics. Although the focus is still on meeting new folks and sharing interests, it will also offer a place to advertise RPs you're working on, look for an RP to join, or to meet new folks to form a new one.

Just for housekeeping, please write your entry up via template (see below) beforehand! Please send this to either Kinsor or Chanspot via qmail, or email it to camirblu@lycos.com if you don't care to use qmail.

# Player:
# Comments: (What do you like, dislike? Type of game you prefer/how do you play?) # Era style: (Steampunk, etc.)
# Sample Character name:
# Background: (For your sample character)
# Character Quote: (For your sample character)
# General Timezone(s): (optional, but helpful for finding players available at similar times)

The Expo will take place on this Sunday the 7th, at 8:30 cst (same as last time) in the Fen Inn Commons ('luge s1 e6,"enter').

SpinDizzy Oscars

The second annual Spindizzy Awards have begun! To vote, type 'vote' from anywhere on the MUCK to enter the voting booth and look at the topics. To the left of each topic is a number. Type in that number to vote on that particular topic, or to see the results of that topic if you have already voted (you cannot see the results of a topic you have not yet voted on). To vote for a choice already listed, simply type in the number located left of your choice. To add a new choice, type 'a' for 'add new choice', then type in your choice. Please do NOT add a choice again if it is already available.

A few more things to remember:
*You do not have to vote for every category. Don't vote for people who don't fit the award's qualifications just for the sake of voting. *Please don't vote for the same person in every category. *Remember that this is all for fun. If there are any arguments or bad feelings over the "Oscars", there won't be a 3rd annual.

The Oscar party will be Friday, March 19th, at 8:00 PM MUCK time at the . Cafe des Cieux, in the French Quarter, will be open from 7 to 8 PM that night will full wait service for those who want to go before the party. It is not part of the party, however. (By the way, we've worked out some kinks from the cafe's opening night that will allow things to run more smoothly). Hope to see you there!

The Doze Garden

Why Centaurs don't do chin-ups!

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page @Action or sdnews about it.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News