Should you forgive a partner who has cheated on you?

by | September 24, 2018, 12:00 AM IST


It’s difficult to describe the feeling of being cheated on. The mixed emotions you experience when dealing with the revelation are harsh, and the mere idea that it happened might take days to sink in. Your SO has, however, admitted that he slipped up, saying it was a mistake, and it was the one time only. Your love is strong and you feel for him and yourself, but you end up repeatedly asking yourself: should I forgive him? It is not an easy decision to make. Consider the following if you want to.

Does he regret what he has done?
You are the best judge of it. Over a period of time, you have to see if he genuinely feels sorry for his action. If he is trying hard to make it up to you, it is a positive sign. He could be repenting while he thinks of ways to win you back. Take your time to determine if it is a pattern.

Is he worth giving another chance?
If he has been amazing until this point, and hasn’t given you any ground to complain, then perhaps you could consider giving him another chance. It goes to show that human beings make mistakes and he made a huge one. If you think you and he shouldn’t suffer all your lives for one mistake, think about it.
Are you happy in the relationship?

This is the primary reason why you should even consider forgiving and being together. Reflect on how happy you are with him, and he with you. Look at the larger picture and if you think you still find yourself drawn towards him to build a life, then consider it.  Try to steer clear of ideas where you feel like sticking with him since you like the idea of being in a relationship rather than being single, or it’s difficult to find someone else.

Will you be able to get over it?
Since the idea is to forgive and continue being in a relationship with him, you have to reflect on your own thoughts, nature traits and beliefs. Yes, he made a mistake, and if you choose to forgive him, then you also need to get over that thought and not bring it up as a trump card in future argument.

Will you be able to start afresh?
If you think you will always be peeking over your shoulder to keep a check on whether he will do it again, or you will be plagued with the thought of him cheating on you every time he interacts with a woman, you need to rethink your idea of forgiving him. You will have to look at the relationship in a new light, yes, nothing will be the same so you both will have to build it from scratch.
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