Saturday, March 03, 2007

Film Review: GHOST RIDER: Failing To Ignite, This RIDER Stalls.

I generally have a rule about writing movie reviews on here. I usually don't like to write reviews for films that have been released for a week or over. I figure no one cares by then. Well, I'm going to break that rule today because I'm annoyed. Let me tell you why. Last night I finally got to see the eagerly awaited Ghost Rider. It should have been a good experience. It wasn't. Instead, I witnessed a perfect example of how to make a lousy comic-book adaptation.
But first, the required exposition. Ghost Rider (incompetently) tells the tale of stuntman extraordinaire Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage). As a lad Johnny made a deal with the devil Mephistopheles (Peter Fonda) to save his father, Barton Blaze, from cancer. The devil took Johnny's soul in exchange for allowing his father to be cured of cancer. As Johnny found out though, the devil is a slippery bugger and his father died soon after in a motorbike stunt gone awry. Flash forward 25 years. Johnny is a stuntman of rock star proportions, surviving crashes that would make Super Dave Osborne cry. It's at this point that the devil comes a-callin'. Seems, Mephistopheles' emo son Blackheart (Wes Bentley) has escaped hell and is looking for a poorly explained scroll that will somehow make him a ruler of Earth. Johnny then becomes the Ghost Rider, a flaming skull-headed creature of the night, using a flaming chain and ghastly stare to stop evil dead in its tracks. The poor dumb sap then has to defeat Blackheart and his clown-shoe minions and fight for the love of vacant-eyed news reporter Roxanne Simpson (Eva Mendes).

Whew. While that paragraph may seem like sheer nonsense, it is far better laid out than anything you will witness in Ghost Rider. This is a film in which the filmmakers examined the source material, underestimated its potential, and decided to make a lowest-common denominator B-movie. Director Mark Steven Johnson (Who I thought did a pretty good job with Daredevil) surveyed the comics-to-film landscape and decided to steer away from films like Batman Begins, Spider-Man or Superman Returns, and instead aimed for Elektra and Blade: Trinity territory. It's harder to fail when you try to accomplish so little, I suppose.

Past comic adaptations have lived or died by the strength of their characters. Ghost Rider deserves an award for assembling the most poorly written cast of characters perhaps ever in comic-land. Nicolas Cage is an actor who is brilliant when given good material, but frightening when given bad (See The Wicker Man - "KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD-DAMNED HONEY!!!"). Here, he plays Johnny Blaze as being completely devoid on any real human characteristics. He's one-note and not the slightest bit interesting. There is never any feeling of a man living with a curse, only an actor wading through bad material and trying not to look too ridiculous (He fails). It's never good when a CG flaming skull head with a demonic Darth Vader voice has ten times more on-screen charisma and personality than you do...

As the love interest, Eva Mendes is bottom of the barrel. Her Roxanne is possibly the stupidest woman to appear in a comic-book film (That's saying something after Elle Macpherson's acclaimed performance in Batman & Robin). There is no depth to the character. She's merely in the film to wear clothes usually reserved for escorts, and to be kidnapped. Eva Mendes is not good... But then it's hard to excel when you're playing a blank slate.

It's funny. Just the other day I lambasted Tommy Lee Jones' Two-Face for being the worst villain ever in a comic-book movie. Well, not anymore. Blackheart, played by Wes Bentley (The video-camera pervert in American Beauty - Pictured center), has the charisma of a peanut. When not pouting and looking like a Hot Topic reject, he's making unconvincing threats and mincing like a boy-band member. He makes the actors around him seem like the cast of a Scorsese or Altman flick. And in this film, that's an achievement. He lacks any menace, and makes Jim Carrey's flamboyant Riddler from Batman Forever seem like Leatherface or Michael Myers. Even Blackheart's big transformation scene is almost a complete carbon copy of Stephen Dorff's climactic moment in the first Blade. A host of spirits flying around and through him? Check. Red eyes? Check. Cheesy sneer? Check. Cool death? Whoops.

The rest of the cast does what they can, but ultimately fails due to the material. Peter Fonda has the silky charm, but his lines are so terrible that his devil isn't very interesting. Donal Logue, as Blaze's best friend, disappears for long stretches at a time, popping up randomly and for no real purpose. Sam Elliott (Pictured), as the mysterious Caretaker, is the only actor who's effective, but then when is Sam Elliott ever not effective. He's wasted here.

The film is a cut-and-paste hack job from beginning to end. Scenes seem random and without any gravity. The film is filled with dramatic scenes stripped of weight and lousy "comic relief" moments. I don't mind humour in these movies, but the jokes here are painfully hokey. Even the action scenes are lifeless and unexciting. The only area in which the film is a success is in the area of special effects. The Ghost Rider himself is glorious to behold. The CG flame is dead-on and he has real weight as a character. He is interesting to watch and his scenes are the only moments in which the film takes flight.

I can't call this film a complete failure, as it nailed the Ghost Rider. But it's a cinematic bomb of characterization, plotting and structure. While it's never boring, it's complete lack of ambition and inventiveness prevents it from being anything but watchable trash. I truly hope Marvel snatches this franchise away from Mark Steven Johnson for the inevitable sequel. Giving it to a director with ambition and an original vision would do wonders for this material. Maybe then the Rider will truly get his due.


Friday, March 02, 2007

Finally, A Dent In The BATMAN Franchise Worth Celebrating!

Wow, long time since I updated this old warhorse, huh? Yep, I've been lazy. Well, lazy and adjusting to a new school schedule which didn't leave me as much time to jump on here. But enough excuses, let's get into it! So, after 2+ months, what breaks the silence you ask? Well, I'll tell you! Two-Face, baby! This post was looooooooong in the planning stages before the first post I ever did and I'm finally getting to do it. So, buckle up and let's take a little trip to the wonderful land of Christopher Nolan's Batman universe. It's good to be back.

Now, news broke a few days ago (pre-Oscars) that Nolan, the genius who reinvented the Caped Crusader's world with Batman Begins, has finally filled the role of Gotham City D.A. Harvey Dent (who later becomes Two-Face) in the eagerly awaited The Dark Knight. And that actor is... AARON ECKHART!!!

Who is Aaron Eckhart, you ask? Well, Aaron is currently most recognized for his great portrayal of a tobacco company spin control expert in last year's Thank You For Smoking (Rent it!). He's also popped up in gems such as Any Given Sunday, Erin Brockovich, Nurse Betty, The Pledge, and The Missing (Hey, I Liked It!!!). His luck in big blockbusters has been limited thus far to The Core (A guilty pleasure of mine) and Paycheck, but Nolan's gonna change all that. See, Eckhart's big breakthrough role was in a dark, uncompromising indie called In The Company Of Men (If you haven't seen it, get out there and find it. It's worth your time). Anyone who has seen that film knows how well Eckhart can play men who are consumed by narcissism. I'm guessing Nolan had that film in mind when he gave him the role of Harvey Dent.

Just to jog your memories, Harvey Dent was, as I mentioned earlier, Gotham's D.A.. Was that is, until a crime boss threw acid on him during a trial. Harvey managed to shield one side of his face, but the other was horrifically scarred. The emotional damage caused by his disfigurement led to a split personality. One side, Harvey - a good man, and friend to Bruce Wayne and Batman. The other side, Two-Face - a sadistic criminal. What makes Two-Face interesting is his Achilles Heel. He has to flip a coin constantly to make decisions. One side leads to good decisions, the other to criminal decisions.

Now, I figure most of you are aware of all that having likely seen Joel Schumacher's 1995 perversion Batman Forever, where Harvey's complex nature was steam-rolled into a screeching, hysterical, one-note performance by Tommy Lee Jones. I just wanted to make it clear that there's more to the character than a stupid screaming maniac with hokey neon purple makeup and tiger-striped clothes. Now, I don't blame Jones, I blame the script (And Schumacher), but it was perhaps the worst comic-book villain performance of all time. It raped the character of all that made him cool and turned him into a pathetic, mentally challenged copy of Jack Nicholson's great Joker. Jeez, it still angers me to this day...

This is where Nolan comes in. Nolan equals quality. From his breakthrough film Memento, through Batman Begins and the recent The Prestige, the guy damn well knows how to make great movies. I have so much trust in this dude, that I KNOW I'll finally see Two-Face done right.

It is important to note that Two-Face will likely only be popping up in the later parts of The Dark Knight, as the majority of the film will likely be dominated by Heath Ledger's Joker. Still, the way this project is shaping up, I flat-out can't wait. July '08 can't come fast enough! Aaron Eckhart is the best possible choice and I know that this film is going to be something incredible. ___________________________________________________________________
I have fond memories of the Don West TV show Get Smart. I fondly recall watching the show with my friend Dave as a youngster and reveling in the crazy adventures of Max Smart and Agent 99. To me, Don West so embodied Smart that when I heard news of a film a-brewing I was concerned...

...Until casting began, that is. When it was announced that Steve Carell (40-Year-Old Virgin & NBC's The Office) was playing Smart, a sigh of relief was let out. I can't think of a better actor for the job. As the rest of the cast came together -The Rock, Terrence Stamp (Superman II, The Limey), and Anne Hathaway (Devil Wears Prada & Brokeback Mountain) as Agent 99, I began to become excited for the damn project. Chances were that my childhood fave wouldn't be bastardized!

Well, today they cast The Chief (Memorably played by Edward Platt in the show). And who better than Alan Arkin, fresh off his Oscar win for Little Miss Sunshine! I think this choice is as inspired as Carell. I know now that I'm not the only one eagerly anticipated their performing of the Cone of Silence routine. So, Get Smart is off to a good start! With a crew like this it's gotta be cooler than Miami Vice, and light years better than The Dukes Of Hazzard...

That's all folks. I plan on posting my year end list of favorites and most despised. I always do these lists in March because it takes me longer to see a big enough sample of the years films. Unfortunately I don't have enough time to get to the theatre every week; though lord knows I'd love to. So, look for that the next couple days.

My fondest thanks go out to any who read this, and are still checking out this blog. I promise not to let another two months go by again. See y'all soon!


P.S.: Nolan, if you're reading this: Please give us a cool Riddler, then I can really die happy!