@ Action News

Argon -- Editor

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Argon's tail is dragon

In last week's @Action News, a story concerning the Doctoring of Dragons contain an inacuracy. This reporter asked, "...how... you could tell a dragon was running a fever? As they breath fire, amoung other powers, he wasn't sure putting a thermometer in Aushae's mouth would give an accurate reading of her temperature."

Aushae, local silver dragoness, took exception to this story as it was based on only a very general knowlege of dragons gathered from movies, fairy tales, and PBS childrens' shows. Seeming to think I needed a lesson in the fact that not all dragons match the fire breathing stereotype of movies and TV, she used her magic to make me a dragon for a while!

The change was painless and took place in the Rose Garden. Aushae levitated me over the fountian and started 'molding' me into a dragon shape. She pulled my tail into a long one no hair but instead scales, she formed a crest, and molded my hind legs into dragon legs with claws. She then pulled and positioned my forelegs into wings, and my human torso and its arms into forelegs and a handsome (for a dragon,) head and neck. I found myself covered with blue scales. As she finished, Aushae noted that I made a fine water dragon

As expected I was quite suprised, and just like when I was changed from human form into centaur form, changing from centaur form into a dragon took some getting used to. I found that I could fly, although it was touch and go, and I never did do it very well, but the suprize came from my status as a water dragon. I seemed to be able to 'read' water. I could see current in streams and rivers, I could open the water tap and know where the water had been and where it was going. I could look at clouds and know if and when they were going to rain. I could even look at ice cubes and see where they had come from. It turns out that water doesn't like to be frozen into ice. It prefers to be water or vapor so it can move and go as it wills.

Later, Aushae asked me what lesson I had learned from being a centaur. I told her the main lesson I'd learned was that I prefer being a centaur. But that I was reminded of a complaint I sometimes make about being one; that most folks assume that, as told in the old stories and myths, centaurs are wild drunken womanizers who have no regard for anything other than their own pleasures. I hope I have shown this not to be true. It is also true of dragons. Not all breath fire, eat virgins and guard a hoard of gold in a lonely mountian top.

Aushae is an ice dragon and breaths, well ice. She is also a "life-weaver", but I'll let her explain what that is.

So, I fell into a trap I urge others to avoid. I based my thinking on stereotypes and rumors that weren't true. Although I don't usually turn folks who believe all of us are like the myths into centaurs, I do try and correct those misconceptions. Aushae has a different way of doing it, but her message was clear.

And as of press time, I was back to my normal centaur form. Much to the relief of my wife, Mavra.

Body shop to open

I am planning on opening a small but hopefully profitable busness in a few days

It is going to be a body shop, in a literal sense of the word; I and some others that might be helping me are willing to help others who want to change how they look or what they are; working as of now on a simple barter system we'll offer to help anyone who wants to shape thier body into a new look.

Asked if the shop will have any particular specialty, Sanogan replied, "Yes, also I will help them to mix forms and shapes if they so wish; and there is always a adaptation period that I shall aid with. As with your normal body, such changes become peramant unless the person tells me in advance that they wish to only hold the form for a certain time.

Sanogan noted that the shop will be west of the Rose Garden past a strange looking small scale city. The outer park of the area is open if you would care to see but the building itself, is still being constructed. It should be up and running in 3 to 4 days.

In step with: Andrew

Andrew by Sunshine.

Greetings! Ba'ar here with the latest in a series of interviews with the local residents of Spindizzy. Today we sit down to talk to Andrew, local centaur.

Ba'ar growls, "Thanks for consenting to this interview Andrew. Our readers and I appreciate it."

Andrew says, "You're welcome."

Ba'ar nods "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?

Andrew says, "I've been here 16 days."

Ba'ar growls, "I hope you decided to stay here. It's a wonderful place."

Ba'ar growls, "I understand you were born a human and transformed into a centaur. How did this come about?"

Andrew says, "That is currently under investigation, but I believe it may have gene manipulation, not natural evolution."

Ba'ar nods "As I understand it some of our other centaurs were created through gene manipulation. Now then."

Ba'ar growls, "How long have you been a centaur?"

Andrew says, "About a year and a half."

Ba'ar growls, "How have your family and friends responded to your being a centaur?"

Andrew says, "The family showed concern and surprise, what few friends I had stuck close. I have gained many more friends as well."

Ba'ar nods

Ba'ar growls, "What are the advantages of being a centaur? Any disadvantages? "

Andrew says, "Many advantages, such as increased speed, strength, and better health in general. Disadvantage: Stairs are a problem."

Ba'ar growls, "As you may know, Spindizzy has a rather large centaur population. Did you seek us out because of the many centaurs that live here?"

Andrew says, "I actually didn't know there were any centaurs here at first. I found out through the Centaur FAQ on the website."

Ba'ar growls, "I hope you have met many of the promnent centaurs here. "

Ba'ar growls, "Of course you've met Argon and Mavra..but how about Rown and Windwhistler?"

Andrew says, "I've met Windwhistler, but not Rown."

Ba'ar nods "If you could change back into a human again, would you? "

Andrew says, "Not unless my life depended on it, being a centaur would probably get me out of most jams anyways."

Ba'ar growls, "So would it be safe to assume that you're happier as a centaur?"

Andrew says, "Without a doubt, yes."

Ba'ar growls, "If you were made Spindizzy's king, what changes would you make?"

Andrew says, "I wouldn't change a thing as of right now."

Ba'ar growls, "Oh? You wouldn't make things more centaur friendly? Such as more softly padded walkways for your hooves?"

Andrew says, "Maybe, but it might be easier to just use padded shoes. I'm use to hard surfaces anyways."

Ba'ar nods "Do you have any plans for the future?"

Andrew says, "Get a university degree in some form of engineering and climb the chain of command of whatever I'm in."

Ba'ar growls, "What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

Andrew says, "I am actually semi morph capable. That and I desire a life partner."

Ba'ar growls, "Semi morph capable? Please explain that? "

Andrew says, "I can temporarily return to human form, but only for an hour or two at a time. It's very tiring to do."

Ba'ar nods "Any other forms you can change into or just human?"

Andrew says, "Just human, and it's rarely used."

Ba'ar nods "Because it tires you out...now then..one more question..."

Ba'ar growls, "In closing, do you have any words of wisdom for our readers"

Andrew says, "If an obstacle gets in your way, find a way to overcome it, no matter what."

Ba'ar growls, "That concludes our interview. Once again Andrew. Thanks a lot."

Andrew says, "It's been a pleasure."

Zach's Quoted Quote Question

Can you guess where the quote was said and who said it? See the bottom of the paper for the answer.

"Hmmm...well...felines ARE supposed to be more nimble where stairs are concerned."

This week in history

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up,
Will those diet pills I see in the commercials work?
- B. Blanks

Dear B. Blanks:
Yes...they'll make your wallet thinner.

Dear Bearing Up,
I've heared about that StarWars thingy. One thing I do not understand who is going to be with me, and why on May the fourth
- F. Boy.

Dear F. Boy:
It's just a movie...nothing to be taken seriously.

Dear Bearing Up,
Which brand of bottled water do you think is the best?
- H. Twooh.

H. twooh:
tap water is the best.

Dear Bearing Up,
What the heck are Grace L Ferguson Airline Storm Doors? They were the currency last Monday and I have no clue what that refers to.
- Argon

Dear Argon:
They're the official Vogon currency.

Dear Bearing Up,
I saw a bear smoking a cigarette behind the barn. What brand of smokes do bears like?
- L. Strike

Dear L. Strike:

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week Ba'ar is doing the survey. His question this week is, "With the summer movie season coming up... describe a time when you have gone to see a superhyped must-see summer movie only to find out it was a dog?

  • Argon says, "I couldn't wait to see Lost in Space, the movie. Boy was it a stinker!"
  • Logan squeaks, "I don't tend to remember the horrid movies the next month."
  • Phoex says, "Hmm, Mission to Mars perhaps."
  • Darius says, "Resident evil,(the first one) Dawn of the dead, aliens vs. predator, To name a few."
  • Gilead chirps, "I guess...the classical one was going to see Star Wars Ep1. We'd waited so long... So long... But for that. And not a single "Meesa sowwy!" from Lucas. Stupid conceited talentless (Jerk)."
  • Jaytee says "I think that honor goes to a movie hyped by many tech-heads and gamers around-- the Final Fantasy movie. My one friend who was big on the Final Fantasy games dragged me out to see it. My only comment was that the computers could generate just about anything for a movie except a good plot. The best thing that came out of it was that it provided me with future ammo whenever my friend decided to pick a movie to see.
  • Roofus_roo says "My answer to the survey is: Star Wars, Episode 1. Jar-Jar alone wasted the price of admission."
  • Whiffert says "I think it had to be the time I went to see Joe vs. the Volcano. It was a critical success, or so the crits wanted us to think. Coming out of the movie we all agreed that Tom Hanks must have been so embarrased at this picture that he paid off Siskel and Ebert across the land to hype it up"
  • Nysa says "For WS the one I can think about was Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes, so gorgeously done that I fell asleep only to wake up right at the end of it. Haven't ever to get to see the full thing."
  • Tottle says, "Ooh, ooh, Star Wars Ep. One!"
  • Alair barks, "The day after Tomorrow."

Zach's Quoted Quote Answer

For a taurific time, take traveling tours with the taurs of Spindizzy. Just ask them for a lift, ride or walk, and they'll be glad to help. Just remember to obey the one rule which is no horsing around.

Yes our location is the Rose Garden as a lack of being able to get anywhere else, so keep exploring folks. The quote comes from the not a bit sith, jedi cougar Brenda.

The Doze Garden

Here is the Fruitbat response cartoon for last week's interview with Morticon!

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News