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Found 24 results

  1. 3 articles worth reading. First is a NYT opinion piece by a biologist and gender studies prof arguing that sex is not binary. Second is from a philosopher rebutting the first article. Third is from another philosopher more or less agreeing with the second with some important qualifications. Why Sex Is Not Binary by Anne Fausto-Sterling, in the NYT Is Sex Binary by Alex Byrne Byrne on why sex is binary by Edward Feser Happy reading!
  2. I know having children is a blessing from Allah swt but I just feel like why bring them into such a messed up world. Of course each soul that is put here is by the will of Allah swt but of course we are also responsible. As Muslims we all know this life is a test to inshallah obtain heaven in the hearafter. Why put someone through that test in the first place? I mean if I pull help it I wouldn’t want anyone even going through the pain of a paper cut s why would I want to bring a child into a world of pain? Oh ya ur kid might be the next Einstein or newton or even Abbas (as) but their lives weren’t exactly a bed of roses. Why put them through so much crap for a little ray of sunshine in this world. I’d rather not know crap exists at all, even if it means not knowing sunshine does either because in the end I’d be non existent and therefor indifferent but ultimately saved from the tribulations of life. I’m 24f married for 3 years and I don’t think I want kids. Any thoughts? What do the imaams and our Holy prophet have to say about the reason for having children in Islam? Why would you bring a child into this world?
  3. How can we reconcile Islam rendering sexuality as both insignificant and the most pleasurable thing in existence? Keep in mind our destination will be heaven and sex will be the most engaged-upon activity in heaven. Is sex insignificant only in this world, but significant in heaven? Imam Ali (AS): “He whose intellect is complete finds sexual desires insignificant.” [Ghurar Al-Hikam, No. 8226] Imam Sadiq (AS): “Indeed, the people of heaven do not take delight in the pleasures of heaven more than sex; neither food nor drink has that much pleasure for them.” [Wasail Al-Shia, V. 20, Hadith 24929] It was asked of Imam Sadiq (AS): “If someone undresses his wife (and makes her naked) and looks at her, is there a problem?” He replied: “There is no problem, is there any better pleasure than this that exists?” [Hadiyah Al-Mutaqin, P. 111]
  4. Hi,i'm a new user and i'm very happy to have found this online community. Today i want to talk about western women and their sexuality and the threat that women' sexuality represent for Islam. Many of you have already noticed that western women and in general women who live in advanced countries religion-free are more independent,have economical power,but mostly they do a lot more sex than muslim women and they tend also to betray more and also they tend to have less children and tend to marry less. Another thing that you may have noticed is that even if they're more sexually active than their muslim counterparts,they're also more selective and would like to go only with the top males(beautiful,rich and a very good status),while rejecting the average ones and bottom ones,while men(in general) are less selective and have a wide ranges of preferences. You may also have noticed that more and more muslim women are flying away from Islam and acting like western women Why is that thing?Why are western women more selective than muslim women and men in general?Why in just a few decades have western women got so picky and selective? The reason behind this is that western women have gained a lot of rights and they also have gained a lot of economical power and so independence.I'm going to explain to you better in the following lines: In the 20th century and previous centuries women have very few rights and very little access to the workplace because most of the jobs were physical and so men were fitter for them than women and in addiction there was no thing like maternity leave to help women economically when they get pregnant.So they hadn't economical power and therefore independence and in order to survive and get food and a roof over their head they had to marry a man,even if they don't want to.In addiction in the western society in the older centuries religion had a very important role,that now it has been lost with all his values. But now,that's changed and women have economical power,independence,maternity leave and the possibility of making the choices they want about their life. Isn't that great,yeah?Certainly it's great for them,but not for many men that lost the chance of having free sex and a wife and so they're conducting a very poor and shameful life where they only work to survive,but not to live since sex and the love of a caring wife are a mirage for them. But why is that? Like i said before women are more selective than men by nature but their selectivity in dating a partner appears only when they have rights and independence. What do i mean when i say that women are more selective by NATURE: According to science the humankind belongs to the animal reigns and like every other animal our purpose is to reproduce ourselves in order to carry on the human specie.Men (since they are phisically stronger and have the possibility to submit a woman)were given a great sex drive and much less selective attitude in dating,while women since they're the ones who carry the pregnancy and since the pregnancy is very long,painful and is some case mortal had(and have)to choose the best men who could protect her wife and guarantee their children a good genetic(intelligent,beautiful,tall,strong). In fact in the prehistory only 1 man out of 17 had the possibility to reproduce because very few men got all the women. https://psmag.com/environment/17-to-1-reproductive-success Then men in order to balance things had introduced monogamy along with religions,so that every man could have his own wife and live a good life without feeling anger for not having one. But now things have changed because religions in the west had lost all of its meaning mostly among the youths(either men or women)and things like divorce have been introduced and if you look at the statistics women are much more likely than men to initiate a divorce,because by divorcing they get a lot of privileges(the ex-husband has to give her ex-wife his house and part of his salary),but mostly they can change their partners and have a lot of sex. But what do women find attractive in a man? Basically 3 things.Looks,Money and Status. Looks is the external aspect and women mostly care about the face,that's to say that if you're fit but ugly in face you won't attract women.Contrary to what the popular culture says beauty isn't subjective but objective,the objective thing they're talking about is the likeliness that's still related to the beauty:the more beautiful you are,a greater likeliness you'd like to have and you'll attract more women and viceversa.A beautiful man is also regarded by women's brain as a carried of good genetics because usually beautiful people have also a good genetic. Unfortunately women regard very few men as beautiful,while men are less picky. Money is very important because even if women have got economical independence they're still looking for a man who can guarantee them a good life,also because women want to show other women they got a powerful man on their side who can give her all what she desire. Status is another important factor,that's more variable than the other two and it's the social reputation,the fame that a person has.The more you're taken in high consideration in your environment the more women you'll be able to attract. Women Love Beautiful,Powerful Men and Hate Those Who Aren't So and Dare to Ask Them a Date. Muslim Countries and Muslim Environment are still unaffected by these phenomenon because women have less independence and less economical power,but as soon as muslim women will get them they will start to care less about religion,family and they will think only about their pleasure,especially their sexual pleasure. Their sexual power is the reason why all the religions of the world have given them less rights than men,because ancient men were sages and knew that if women got equal rights like men they would have overthrown them along with society(western birth rate is declining with no exception)because of their sexual power and their strict selectivity. Research that shows the women are more selective than men: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1986604/ I hope you'll like this artcicle and that this will give you new way to reflect and think. Islam is the best religion and it will be forever.
  6. Salaam, Hope this finds all in the best of health and imaan inshallah. So Inshallah I am looking to get married in a couple of weeks and have never had any experience with women in my life whatsoever. It is going to be a typical traditional marriage, arranged by our parents. She will be moving into my family house to live with myself, along with my parents and my siblings (inshallah). We are of Indian descent, living in the west and are quite a traditional family (and so is she!). My question to the reader is that now that you've been married for a while now (Alhamdolillah) and have the knowledge and experience, what would you differently in the : 1) Wedding night 2) First week 3) First month 4) First 3 months 5) First 6 months 6) First year 7) First 5 years Any other advise would be highly appreciated as I don't have any elder brothers or cousins of a similar age who can give me guidance on this topic. I am also amongst the first to get married from my friends as well! Thanks! God bless all, through the Ahlulbayt AS inshallah.
  8. assalamu alaykum ... who can tell me is it true that ayatollah khomeini wrote in his book “Tahrirolvasyleh. " following?- A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However, he should not penetrate vaginally, but sodomising the child is acceptable. If a man does penetrate and damage the child then, he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life. This girl will not count as one of his four permanent wives and the man will not be eligible to marry the girl’s sister… It is better for a girl to marry at such a time when she would begin menstruation at her husband’s house, rather than her father’s home. Any father marrying his daughter so young will have a permanent place in heaven. ["Tahrirolvasyleh", fourth edition, Qom, Iran, 1990]
  9. Asalamalekum, While both are Haram in Islam and even christianity. I would like to know why in the Western society many people accept "live in relationships, GF and BF culture, sex before marriage. But at the same time people in the West generally believe pornography is disgusting, is a sin, morally corrupt, destroys relationships, etc.? Thanks!
  10. Sisters are free to join in, I posted this here because it may not be suitable, due to its explicit nature, in the family and social forums. I know there is nothing wrong if a man marries because of his basic need for sex. I still cannot see this from a girl's point of view. There will obviously be problems if you choose a spouse simply because she looks good and I know spouse selection and marriage is much more than that. This thread is about why Men/Women see it as deviant for a person to enter a marriage because of his sexual needs? Often I see people advising young men that they should not marry because of sex but what I think they fail to realise is that sex and lust is what motivates men to get married, you could act all sisterly on me about this point but those natural desires are there for a reason and purpose, so I do not think buying groceries is the main reason why men get married, I think lust is what drives men to marry. Also please don't misread this, when I say sex is what drives men I am not saying that is the only motivation but it is one of the many reasons why men get married. So what is wrong with marrying to fulfil one's needs? I keep hearing people discouraging other people away from marriage because of many reasons like money and "marriage is more than lust". No wonder why people are not marrying early. Being a young man trying to marry today is like pushing through several walls of discouragement from everyone, I wonder how many other young men are wanting marriage but their efforts are in vain because people simply don't understand what 'enjoining good' is. Also if you could list a few other reasons/motivations for why men get married other than sex would be helpful.
  11. Salmaalekum, I would like to know why can't a fatwa be passed specially for youths living in the west. So it can help ease and alleviate the suffering, and guilt that is attached to masturbating? Millions of young man and woman who can't get married at a young age for various reasons specially "education", are indulge in this act not by choice, but it is inescapable for young healthy adult to shut off his/her desire completely until marriage. Or control it by fasting etc. for a long period of time! My story I have tried every tactics there are in the book in order to stop masturbation. And when i say i "tried" let me tell you, i have been through hell! So, it has been now 2 years since i have been fighting this battle, first let me tell you how i was before, when i did not touch upon this topic. "Peace of mind, high confidence, stress free, positive feelings, loved life, studying, going to college, going out, meeting people, going to mosque, etc. Were some of the things i used to do, before i tried stopping masturbation. And now let me tell you what has happened to me while i tried to stop masturbating after i contacted marja/ ayatollah; SEVERELY DEPRESSED FOR TWO YEARS, ANXIETY, STRESS, CONSTANT FEELING OF GUILT, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DON'T LIKE TO PRAY, STOP GOING OUT AND SPEAKING TO ANYONE, NERVOUSNESS, QUIT COLLEGE etc. I know that it is my fault, that i went so deeper into this topic in order to stop masturbation . But it was only to please Allah and remove that burden off my chest, but i still failed. Plus getting the advice from marja did not help my suffering, as it just kept pushing me deeper in to the hole i was already in. Lastly, i would like to know what you guys opinion on this subject, i know that i am not the only one who has been consumed by this matter. And i did many researched and found out many such stories like mine. Where the youth had gone far as trying to end his life, from the suffering. At the moment i have just accepted my self, which has given me confidence, and peace of mind! Ali
  12. I have read on Al-Islam that men cannot approach their wife naked, I think its makruh. Can you explain why this is? thank you
  13. Asalam alaikum was rahmat Allah wa barakatu. Hi everyone, I am sorry to ask an awkward question on a public forum, but I am a new muslimah and would really appreciate any information! My husband likes one of us to always be wearing some article of clothing (normally it's socks) when we are intimate. He says that it will keep shaitan from reaching our child if I were to become pregnant. I have tried googling this and have found opinions of scholars that say that there is no reason for couples to have to wear clothing during intercourse. However, these are all Sunni resources and my husband is Shia. Is there a different opinion in the school of ahl albayt? Furthermore, he also told me that water can count as a cover, so it is permissible to be intimate in the shower without clothing. Once again, can anyone direct me to information about this? Either way, I will respect my husband's wishes as I love him and want to be a good wife, but I would just like to know. Thank you very much!
  14. Salaam alaikum, I am a revert to islam. I have researched a lot about islam and have realized that shia islam is the true path. My question is how can I perform Mutah? Do I go to a mosque and ask someone to arrange one or what? I am not trolling and any help would be appreciated. I am asking because I have a very high libido and am afraid of commting zina. Please help. Jazak Allah khair my brothers and sisters.
  15. Hello I need help with a few things. This is my first post on this site. Firstly i want to tell you that I'm a shia, in my hole life i learnd about Islam and life what is halal and what is haraam. And I know about Islam i don't have any problems with it and I know it can help me alot in this life. But somtimes in life i pray and i don't do stuff that are haraam and it feels great it feels like life is good and that everything is going great. I have hade many friends that are girls no problem with that girls in school and so on. But somtimes a girl comes in to my life and i stop prayin, and i start doing bad stuff again like listen to music. And losing focus on Islam losing focus on learning losing focus on everything and start to just think about her and thats makes my life depressing so how can i stop with girls and have focus on Islam.? When i Don't like or want a girl i pray and i don't do bad stuff, My biggest problem is that i don't like to pray to Allah when i know i do haraam stuff when i know i don't commit sins i love to pray beacuse i do it beacuse i love Allah and that he is great with us. I know it is monafiq and I need help
  16. “Love” was wild and bloody from the beginning … Writers and poets have always called Love ‘wild’. Love, particularly a fiery one (it may not be called love if not fiery) does not recognize any limit or boundary... Salaam. Only liked to recommend a reading if you missed that. The book by Ayatollah Makarem Shirazi called Sexual Problems of the Youth on sex and marriage. Read it online (or download from here). Wassalaam
  17. Salaam, In Surat Al-Muminoon: 23:5 and 23:6 It states: Who abstain from sex, Except with those joined to them in the marriage bond, or (the captives) whom their right hands possess,- for (in their case) they are free from blame, Two questions here: 1. You are allowed sex with slaves? 2. what is meant by whom their right hands possess?
  18. Assalamu Alaikum brothers. Peace be upon you all insha Allah arrahmanirahim. I live in europe, and it is extremely difficult for me to restrain my eyes and desires. I am only 15, but the most I want in this world is to be a good servant of Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. But here, it is a very normal thing for boys to masturbate and watch pornography. Some of my friends introduced me to pornography, who were also Muslims, and they said that it was okay since I am only fifteen, but now it is extremely hard to get away from it, especially when I have an overwhelming desire to masturbate. every time I see a woman or man, my mind automatically thinks about something bad. I have a difficulty making friends who are girls without having a unintentional desire for something else. I want to be a good muslim, be a servant of Imam Mahdi, and be worthy in the eyes of Imam Hussein, Imam Hassan, Imam Ali, and Prophet Muhammed, but I think that they would spit in my face if they ever saw me. I am ashamed of myself, but I cannot stop, what do I do? Another thing is that I start to get thoughts of woman in a bad way, and since there is so much homosexuality around me, homosexual thoughts pop into my head, I AM NOT GAY, but it happens, and they dont go away. The same with women. Please, anybody, I want to get away from it, but I dont know how. help me.
  19. Sexuality is not forbidden in islam in legal way. Infact it is encouraged. What are the factors that lead people to control that desires, where it is halal and encouraged. Why do almost every muslim control such legal desires. Does not it too come into definition of zulm?
  20. The guy in the picture takes your money from the marriage sites he owns and uses YOUR MONEY to fund anti-Iranian and anti-Islamic content and hate speech on another site in favor of Israel. Don't be an Islamic puppet that unknowingly is helping Israel. Spread the word. Share with your friends. There's a link below to post elsewhere. Thank you. LINK TO SHARE: http://iranianperson...om.blogspot.com
  21. VERY IMPORTANT - DON'T GET FOOLED 1. Iranian.com was started by a man called Mohammad Jahanshah Javid. 2. Despite its title, Iranian.com is primarily a Zionist / Bahai / Mujahadeen-e Khalgh site (regular Iranians do not know this); many of the comments on that site are Bahais and militant Jews pretending to be regular Iranians. The commentators are mostly hand-picked to make it appear as if Iranians agree with them. 3. Iranian.com is funded by a man named Said Amin, and was recently bought by him. Said Amin also owns what he calls, "niche dating & marriage sites." For example, a site for Iranians to find a spouse, Arabs, Pakistanis, Turks, etc. 4. You can read background information about Iranian.com at these links below, but this NOT the main point: http://www.sourcewat...tle=Iranian.com http://jahanshahjavid.blogspot.com/ http://iraniansdotco...d.blogspot.com/ Why is this important? READ THIS PLEASE: Here is what I am writing to warn you about, so you can notify others: Here is how the scam works. Suppose you sign up for one of Said Amin's marriage sites (e.g. Iranianpersonals.com / Arablounge.com etc.) hoping to meet a nice husband or wife; and you pay your money to the site. The owner then gives your money to Iranian.com (which he now owns but previously funded) and then your money is used to spread hate speech and abuse about your people (Iranians, Arabs, Turks, etc.), your faith (Islam). In other words, by using those specific marriage introduction sites you will be funding abuse against yourselves and your family. Again, Iranian.com is not from normal or regular Iranians -- it is a Zionist/ Bahai/Rajavi Cult site. Iranian.com also seeks to stir conflict among people. See the attached photo and please warn others. Thank you. The link to the photo below is here, feel welcome to copy it or the photo: http://muslimsarabsi...s.blogspot.com/
  23. Hi, I need to give my Women's Studies teacher in college a response by Monday of an ayat/ surah/ scripture from the Quran which states that women have a right to sexual fullfillment. Do you guys know of any such scripture from the Quran?? I have searched online and haven't been able to find one. Please help!!
  24. Salam I have not found a proper answer yet about oral sex in Islam. I want to know that whether it is Halal or Haram in Islam. I request all of my brothers and friends to tell me about it with proper references.
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