Friday, December 7, 2012

Why are you still Single?

It's that time of the year again... Christmas! I don't know about you but Christmas always makes me want to be in a relationship. Don't you just want to cuddle and kiss under the mistletoe?  

But, I enjoy being single, really! I mean, I can go anywhere I want, do anything I want, wear whatever I feel like wearing and not have to worry about thinking of another person's opinion.

Being single actually gives you time to grow, to mature and to be ready for that time when you meet that one person God has created solely for you. It allows you to sore high and be independent. Being single means being free in a sense.

But isn't it also nice to have someone who constantly sends you text messages throughout the day? Those sweet nothings that mean everything. And to just know that someone is there for you when the rest of the world can't?

You are pretty, you fix yourself and your friends tell you you are fine, but you just can't seem to understand why you are still single after so many years. Here's a list of the possible reasons why you are still single...

Possible reason's why You (and me) are still single:

1.) You are single because you are Afraid - Being in a relationship means having to take risks. One possible factor why you are still single is because you are so afraid. Afraid you might get hurt. Afraid you might end up with the wrong person. Afraid that you may not be good enough for a person or that person's not good enough for you.

2.) You are single because you are too Picky - So you created a list of the kind of man you want to be with. He should be Tall, Handsome, Rich, Kind, Loves God... and the list goes on. Sometimes being picky blurs our vision because we look too far away hence we don't see the people who could be just beside us.

3.) You are single because you put yourself in a Box - This is where the busyness part enters. Sometimes when we are so engulfed into something, that eats up most of our time. We spend so much time at work, and most of the time co-workers don't end up with each other. Or if you are like me who goes into an almost "all-girls" office, then the possibility of meeting someone is rare.

4.) You are single because you believe in Faith and Destiny - Nothing really wrong in believing that someone is destined to meet you. But what's making you stay single is you just relying and waiting for that destined person to go to you while all you do is nothing. You stay at home, wear your pajamas, don't go to parties and expect to meet you"destiny".

 5.) You are single because you're in love with a Celebrity - ...who doesn't even know you exist. Blame it to the media and how they portray characters so perfectly! How many women have wished (or are still wishing) they could be married to Edward Cullen, Damon Salvatore or Christian Grey? Yes, they are all fictional characters. Also, these days Kpop is so vast! You can't really blame yourself for liking someone who looks so perfect on the screen, can you? 


Now that we've listed some possible reasons why you (we) are still single, let's now list some ways how we could get out of that zone.

Here's a short list for the singles that want to attract people and relationship...

Tips for the Singles :

1.) Smile - I've read so many surveys about what guys notice first about the opposite sex and the common answer is : a woman's smile. Smile more often and be happy. No one really wants to hang out with a grumpy person, right? Feel happy and be happy! Happiness is viral, and when the person sees that you are happy and feel good about yourself then he will want to get to know you more and spend more time with you.

2.) Go out even if you don't feel like it - Saturdays could get lazy and we often just want to stay at home, wear comfy pajamas and watch tv. But this weekend, why don't you try something more fun? When a friend invites you over for dinner or coffee, go for it! Attend parties or gatherings and take part in group activities. When you go out more often, you expand your network thus giving you more chances to meet someone new. 

3.) Search for love but don't expect love - Searching is so different from Expecting. When you search, you open your door and let opportunities come in. When you expect, you close the door to more possibilities.

4.) Be 100% ready - I remember my favorite professor back in college, Prof. Ting, told us in class... Being in a relationship doesn't mean you being 50% ready and finding that person to fill in the lacking 50%. Being in a relationship means you are 100% ready to share yourself with someone who is also 100% ready for you.   

And that list could go on and go. You could be a person seeking for that "perfect" match or could be like some people who choose to spend some time alone and enjoy life. 

Being happy doesn't always mean having to spend it with someone else. Here are some tips on how you could spend some time alone and still feel perfectly happy. :)

While you're still single :

1.) Improve yourself - Being single gives us time to grow and improve our self. While you are still single, why don't you take that trip you've been wanting for a long time? Take photography classes or attend workshops. Watch that concert you've been saving money for. Start reading a novel or get a new pet. The possibility is endless. Why you are still single, take this time to enjoy yourself and improve yourself. 

2.) Spend more time with people who matter to you - What I notice the most about couples is that they spend so much time together, which is totally fine. But sometimes too much togetherness could also mean lesser time with family and friends. While you are still single, go out with your friends often. Attend family occasions. Help your mom buy groceries or go fishing with dad. Love is love but our families and friends are always there for us, so while you still have ample time on your hands, use it to spend some more quality time with them.

3.) Be happy - Happiness should not come from another person, but rather should come from within you. Being single means more time for you. Let me share with you my short story. I've been single for 3 years now. Sometimes I do feel like I want to already be in a relationship again, but there are times when I realize that if I get into a relationship now, that means less time to blog and to make YouTube videos. And blogging makes me happy these days. It gives me that feeling of fulfillment and achievement. I can only imagine this blog being totally neglected if that happens. Sure, being with someone makes you happy, but my point is that while God is still working out that perfect relationship for you, take this time to enjoy life and be happy. :)

To sum it all up, don't get into a relationship with someone just because you feel lonely or you were pressured because eveveryone else in your group is taken and you're the only person left single. True love waits and they also say good things come to those who wait. Don't worry if you're single now because surely God is looking at you right now saying, I'm saving this girl for someone special.

 Thank you for reading! Happy holidays!