Cure All

That night was one of the longest nights of my life.  With every breath I tried my best to sleep and forget about what was going on south of my belly button border. I begged and pleaded with myself to not scratch, I tried my best but by the time I woke up the next morning I was a raw, red, mess.  It was better, but by no means gone.  1 day treatment my ass!  I hobbled to work and sat at my desk with cotton underwear and loose clothing just like WebMD suggested.  I was extremely uncomfortable, but granted a bit better.  The swelling and sever burning had subsided.  I decided that I was allergic to the medication and started to google my symptoms.
I came across the website for the product and began to read post after post on how women were suffering from the exact same symptoms I had with this treatment.  They explained the burning, the swelling, the itching, the extreme pain. Some of them actually ended up at the emergency room and I was thanking god that was not me.  I toughed it out, but turns out that this medication is so strong, so severe that it actually burned the inner lining of the labia’s.  THAT was definitely what had happened to me.  I basically had an allergic reation to the medicine and was thankful it wasn’t to Dimples and our sexual encounter as that would really stink!

After a few days, more than 1, I felt much better and everything was cleared up and back to normal.  Until on the 8th day I had this pain in my back.  It was right above my left kidney.  It was sharp and went down and around my flank.  As that day went on the pain began to increase and it was always there but at certain times would hit me out of nowhere.  I was having coffee with my parents when I got the sharp pain and must have yelped.  Throughout coffee it happened a few more times and by the time my medium coffee with cream and sugar was done they convinced me to go to the ER.

My parents see the emergency room as the cure all for all ills.  I don’t say I blame them.  They take you quickly, they do all the tests it would take weeks to perform, blood work and have an answer all within a fours. So here’s how it went.  I get into the exam room after explaining my symptoms and thinking at this point maybe it’s a kidney stone.  The doctor says the same thing and stats to do some tests.  The nurse comes in and asks me a myriad of questions and this is what I tell her.  “First let me start by telling you that it all began a few days ago when I broke my vagina.”  It went on from there.  “Then my labia’s swelled up and I thought I was carrying around a set of balls, which by the way are very uncomfortable if you ask me.  Thank God I don’t have them with me on a daily basis cause I wouldn’t be able to handle them.  They are in the way, they stick against your legs and generally are a nuisance.

Anyway, the nurse enjoys my tail of the allergic reaction and then make my way to today’s symptoms.  I explain that the pain comes and goes, mostly comes and that I didn’t want any medicine because I had to go to work.  They explain it will take a few hours before they know anything and we would just have to wait.  They started an IV, which I always enjoy because hydration is important and sometimes an IV is the way to go.  Anyway, everyone leaves and we wait.  And we wait.  And we wait…..I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but the ER, even though it is the drive through of most medical facilities, it still isn’t fast by any means.  So we waited some more….




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