Monday, April 25, 2005

Here kitty kitty kitty!

For the past few weeks, the Belacan family has been tolerating Ginger (a female cat) and her 2 month old Kitty meowing, sleeping and shitting in our enclosed backyard. But something happened last Saturday that changed the whole arrangement. Ginger did something very, very unforgivable.

She stole from the dining table a piece of Mrs B's fried luncheon meat!

I would have laughed the whole thing off except that Ginger's actions indirectly caused great annoyance to me.

Let me explain; as I was happily taking a lukewarm shower in the hot hot hot Saturday evening, humming away one of my favourite shower tunes... suddenly, Mrs B barged into the bathroom, forcefully opened the shower screen and screamed "Stupid catttt!". Naturally, I thought she wanted to rape me in the shower (Mrs B - yeah, dream on!) but noooooo.

My lovely wifey proceeded to rant about her catching the stupid cat stealing a piece of her fried luncheon meat, about all the hardwork frying and the cat stole it away, and telling me to remember to close the stupid backdoor the next time. *plang* she closed the shower screen *gerek gerek klong!* she closed the bathroom's sliding wooden door.

All in, it was about 15 seconds. I stood there under the shower, naked with soap bubbles all over my sexy body and all my wife did was scream "Stupid cat"? She could have ended everything by saying "oh, by the way, nice butt *wink wink*.." or something naughty like that but nooooo, that luncheon meat was more important to Mrs B.

So, can you see why I am so pissed off with Ginger and Kitty? They have relegated my sexy butt to below "luncheon meat"! Arrrghhhh! How degrading!

Later that night, as I finished watching Puteri Gunung Ledang and switching off everything, I heard Ginger and Kitty meowing inside my kitchen. Quietly like a cat, I tiptoed to the kitchen. In the dark I spied Ginger in the hallway and Kitty at the sink area. I quickly flicked on the kitchen lights and rushed in screaming "Muahahahahahar!". Ginger easily ran out the back door but poor Kitty was cornered near the kitchen sink. I blocked her exit, and screamed "Muahahahahar!" as evilish as I can. Kitty's tail was all fluffed up and she tried jumping miserably to climb over the kitchen cabinet. I chased Kitty from one corner to the other corner for about 1 minute before I took pity on her, and gave her some space to scoot away. Man! Was I having a good boyish fun!

That should teach them a lesson for messing with my butt's status! Slept like a baby that night ;)

Belacan asks... "Does this make me a pussy chaser? Hmmm..."


5xmom ~chanlilian.net~ said...

Gosh, I dunno if I ever can eat luncheon meat again without the imagine butt of Mr Belacan flashing in my dirty old lady's mind! Poor Mr Belacans...relegated lower than spam! Hahahaha.

narrowband said...

"pussy chaser" is a very strong term.... :p

I've a family of cats living behind my house too (sometimes come into our side garden). Very noisy wan.

Once, our fish was half-eaten while left in the kitchen, before being served (that time noone in the kitchen). It was covered, but somehow the cat managed to push the cover open.

Then on, we always make sure to close the windows and door before leaving the kitchen.

Mossie`Ol Chin said...

hahahah... if u added cilipadi to the luncheon meet, wonder what would happen?

anyway, why u soooooooo "jahat" chase the kitty around? you should be more "jahat" mah chasing Mrs B around!

shidah said...

I was laughing like crazy! gosh! mr belacan, huyo.... cannot imagine seeing a kitty without thinking of 'degrading butt' LOL

Jayelle said...

hahahha yes yes...chase Mrs.B around:) you could've calmed her down by inviting her into the bathroom u know;D *WiNK, Wink*

Jason said...

Kesian, Mr. B. Why lah so "jik doh" until you cant even win a piece of luncheon meat? :P LOL. But nevermind, wait for the next time. Mrs. B will notice, and maybe there will a new place to *ahem ahem*. :P

viewtru said...

You should have said to her in the shower, "Don't worry honey, I've got another piece of meat right here. And it's all yours."

minishorts said...

if you were a pussy chaser it would have been 'here pussy pussy pussy'... but you said kitty kitty kitty.. so nah. you're safe.

Lucia Lai said...

of course you are a pussy chaser. all men are.

Saffron said...

Hoho, poor little kitty. Imagine the therapy bills.

I'm too bloody repressed to suggest a tactic involving luncheon meat and yourself for you to seduce the heck out of your wife. *grins*

mrstweety said...

hahha!! tat's so funny..! evil cat bully.. :P

mumsgather said...

And the winner is........ LUNCHEON MEAT! (Kesian MrB. Khihkhikhi)

Papi said...

LOL!! :lol:

S-Kay said...

LOL....the sound effects and all...lawak lah...there's a cat taking shelter in my roof!! With bells summore

Shan said...

Well yeah - you could be classified under one of 2 headings: a pussy chaser or a pussy hound :-) both have the same cheeky meaning lah ;)

Belacan said...

Lilian: yeah, and i think i should taste better than spam! :lol:

Narrowband: ya lor, now with kitchen door closed house so hot liao :(

mossie: cannot leh, got kids around ;)

shidah: sexxxaaayyy ;)

jolene: yah, should have done that. then Mrs B can "scratch" me all she wants! OMG! i am so masochistic!

Belacan said...

Jason: spoke like a true champion ;)

viewtru: ROTFLOL! now why didn't i think of that? ;)

Minishorts: muahahahar! i am NOT evil! muahahahahar!

Lucia: no ler, some chase bananas ;) ;)

saffron: ya, poor kitty sked of humans liao

MrsT: glad you were entertained ;)

MG: haiyor! rub it in summore! hehehe

Belacan said...

Papi: ;)

Skay: oh, then it's someone's cat?

Shan: pussy hound = sniff sniff. i think i prefer chaser, hehehe ;)

Mango Tan said...

Aiya, they didn't go 'pangsai' around your house consider good already loh.

MooPig said...

I hate cats. They're annoying.

One of the guys staying near my house owns a big fat black cat. Hate it, hate it, hate it!

hyphenated L said...

picturing you and your soapy a** looking confused as hell in the shower...


mystic said...

Arghhhh...I hate cats! They are very annoying one....arghh! :p

Gab said...

*ROTFL* uncle belacan..thanks for telling us about luncheon meat. guess luncheon meat won't be the same anymore. :P poor kitty-ma and kitty-babe. wonder what happened to 'em. fed rival cats with cilipadi before, they're smart..din eat that, so mossie`ol chin, u must have tried? *wink* miss orange-the cat.