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The Big Bang Theory Season 10 Episode 13 Recap: Penny and Leonard Deal With Marriage Issues in "The Romance Recalibration"

The Big Bang Theory Season 10 Episode 13 Recap Penny and Leonard Deal With Marriage Issues in The Romance Recalibration
CBS/Sonja Flemming

"Is it normal for the husband to stop giving a crap?"

Whoa. And with that, Kaley Cuoco's Penny opened up a big ol' can of worms on the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory.

But let's back up: For a few seasons now—even before Penny and Leonard tied the knot at the start of season nine—viewers have questioned the absence of romance between Big Bang's original couple. While Penny and Leonard have obvious chemistry, it often feels more buddy-buddy than husband-wife. That's not necessarily a bad thing; after all, many of the best relationships have a solid friendship as their foundation. Still, when a couple barely holds hands or even seems happy together, there are some red flags to be raised.

That's why it was certainly refreshing to see the writers take notice that something was missing. It turns out Penny felt Leonard was taking her for granted and not putting any effort into their marriage. This is hardly the first time a sitcom has featured a couple going through trying times, but it is the first time since perhaps Ross and Rachel's "we were on a break!" that a sitcom has done it so uncomfortably well.

There were pauses, insults, and—most importantly—no contrived audience reactions to add to the drama. If the scenes with Penny and Leonard made you feel as if you were in their apartment witnessing a fight between your two best friends, then the Big Bang writers certainly accomplished what they set out to do.

CBS/Sonja Flemming

So, how did we get here? Leonard sensed that something was off with Penny, and when she said she didn't want to talk about it, he kept prying. Penny finally admits that she feels like he's taking her for granted, but Leonard immediately got defensive, exclaiming, "That is ridiculous!" Added Penny: "That's exactly why I didn't want to talk about it." To make matters worse, Leonard replied, "No, let's talk about it. I'm the one that has made all the effort in this relationship. Please tell me what more I can do!" Right, because saying you do everything is exactly what you should say to someone who feels like you've stopped trying. (Insert sarcasm.)

And yet, who hasn't had that exact conversation at some point, whether with a significant other, a friend, or a family member? We're taught to express our feelings when something is bothering us, but how often does the other person calmly sit there and actually listen? Rarely, right? They often fight back and go on the defensive before really thinking things though. Cuoco and Johnny Galecki played the moment perfectly, creating the perfect amount of tension.

As the story unfolded, Penny headed off on a weekend getaway with Amy, which allowed Leonard to wallow at home with an overeager Sheldon. When Sheldon felt like Leonard was also taking him for granted, he laid it all out on the table perfectly. "Maybe Penny isn't the only relationship you're phoning in," Sheldon stated. For the first time, Leonard actually thought on it and revealed that it wasn't that he purposely stopped's just that that's what happens once you're with someone for a long time. "They start with infatuation but over time mellow into something more comfortable," he attempted to reason.

Yikes. But Leonard was partly right. With time comes comfort, and with comfort comes a lack of urgency. It happens all the time—with spouses, with friends, and with family. What's wrong is to let it happen without expecting any consequences. No relationship can sustain that shiny new quality forever, but it can transform into something more substantial—if you work at it.


Because this is a comedy and not Days of Our Lives, some resolution was needed, so Leonard paid Penny a surprise visit to the spa. She wasn't happy to see him, but it allowed the two to sit down and get to the root of their problems. "We're facing some new challenges as a married couple," Penny revealed. "There's a few things we need to stay on top of," Leonard added.

The Hofstadters then recruited a delighted Sheldon to draft up a relationship agreement. It doesn't solve all their problems, but it does create some necessary rules for Penny and Leonard. For example, Leonard will restrict videogaming in underpants to hours Penny is not home. And if Leonard questions Penny about something that might be bothering her, she's not allowed to say everything is fine if it isn't. Simple? Yes. Effective? Absolutely.

While it remains to be seen whether this is the last of Penny and Leonard's marriage hurdles for now, it was another reminder that The Big Bang Theory is giving us a real look at the issues many twenty- or thirtysomethings in today's world face. It ain't easy, but it sure is spot-on.

The Big Bang Theory airs Thursdays at 8 P.M. ET on CBS.