53 Replies
bobbi - January 2

I have just found out im pregnant and im already 20 weeks. i am normally a heavy drinker and during these 20 weeks have drank on average a bottle of wine a night and a few hot whiskeys .. does this now mean my baby will defo be born with FAS ,FAE .. i have not been able to eat or sleep as i am now so worried and dont know what to do. i have not drank since


stefkay - January 2

bobbi, have you been to see a doctor (I'm guessing you probably have at this point?) Be completely honest with the doctor and see what they say. I'm gonna be honest and say that it doesn't sound promising for the baby, but I have heard of similar stories where babies were born healthy. It sounds like you may need some support in the rest of this pregnancy. You obviously know not drinking is really key but trying to stay that way after the baby comes is probably the most important thing you can do. I don't know how old you are, but I speak from experience. I have alcoholic family members and I've successfully fought my own demons. A bottle of wine a night plus some is more than just "heavy drinking". Good luck to you...


bobbi - January 2

so your saying that more than likely there will be somthing wrong?? i have been to the doctor and have had two scans and was told the baby and i were in perfect health?!!


Rachel29 - January 2

Hi bobbi, You know, I think the best thing you can do now is just forget the past. You can't do anything about your drinking from before you knew you were pregnant, so concentrate on just staying clean and sober for the rest of your pregnancy. Honestly, what's done is done, and worrying about that now won't do you or the baby any good. I really hope things go well for you. It sounds like the doctor thinks everything is progressing well, so just try to keep that in mind. Good luck to you, and I hope everything goes smoothly for you!


newlywed0915 - January 2

bobbi, if your doc says you and your baby are fine, then why worry? I'd stop drinking so heavily now and just stay away from it. You're very lucky that everyhting is okay now, so just please consider your child before drinking heavily again.


sterlinberlin05 - January 2

I read somewhere that usually when you're a heavy drinker in pregnancy and if something is going to be wrong with the baby your body will knowingly miscarry that baby and only 3 in 100,000 babies with parents who are heavy drinkers are born. All statistics are different but this is what I read. My sister in-laws mom sat on a bar stool day in and day out with her girls while preg. and they are normal. That doesn't mean everyone would be this lucky but I know I drank early in this pregnancy before I knew because obviously my husband and I weren't planning but it happens, I'm sure you'll be alright if you stay away from it for now on. Please don't start up that much once you're baby is here because I personally hated haveing two parents who drank all the time.


sterlinberlin05 - January 2

I'm sorry I messed that up a little, if you'd miscarry it'd be in the first trimester which you've pa__sed and only 3 in 100,000 are born WITH FAS. not just born . sorry BIG mistake


cors1wfe - January 2

Bobbi - as long as you were perfectly honest with your doctor and he says you and baby are fine - forget the past and just make good choices for the rest of your pregnancy - you will drive yourself nuts to dwell on it and the great part is you are 1/2 way there. There are lots of women who were heavy drinkers as you described and have perfectly normal babies. I have read that stat before - if something is truly wrong your body will recognize it and most likely miscarry - rest a__sured - you are 20 weeks that is a wonderfully huge milestone - try to relax and just come to us for support! Good luck


stefkay - January 2

bobbi, not meaning to scare you at all...I did not know you had 2 scans and dr. gave you clean bill of health. If things look good, go with that and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, just don't drink anymore! Like cors1 said, as long as you are completely honest with your doc about the drinking (amount) and he can keep an eye on the baby and says all looks good then relax :)


gabby509 - January 2

Not to be judgemental or anything but why were you having unprotected s_x, drinking that heavily, and not worrying about getting pregnant 5 months ago? It seems like the drinking probably impaired your ability to realize that your period was missing for 5 months. I am sorry but I do not have sympathy for someone who put themselves into this position. I know everyone will probably jump down my throat for being somewhat harsh, but this is just so irresponsible and makes me very sad for that baby. Also I don't know what doctor would say that drinking that heavily will not affect your baby in the long run, maybe you weren't completely honest about the extreme amount you were consuming.


bobbi - January 3

FOR GABBY.... yes i do think you are been harsh i am not always a heavy drinker i have been through something really tough , i have 2 children already and the are perfectly happy children who need or want for nothing, my periods have never been regular so no i would not think much of it . i wasnt that drunk every nite that i could ot function i had maybe a bottle of wine each night that was it the whiskey was twice when i had a bad flu. so yes i do think you are been harsh


wv_red - January 3

Bobbi, Hi first I want to say welcome to the forum. A tough way to join but none the less welcome. I dont know what your going through but if your doctor has said that you and your baby is okay, I would take his or her word for it. What has happened has happened try not to beat yourself up over something that you had no idea about. Now is the time to do what is best for you and your baby. You never know you might have one hell of a fighter in there and will prove everyone wrong. I have a cousin that was shooting heroin the whole time she was pregnant, not little amounts talking full b__wn addiction and amazing enough that baby is as alert and smart as any other in her age group. Yes its sad but things like that happen. She knew she was pregnant and didnt care, you didnt know you were pregnant and from the sound of it you have your ducks in a row. Just talk to your doctor and hopefully they will monitor you a little more closely just to make sure. Good luck to you and your little one and I hope everything turns out well for you both.


gabby509 - January 3

Wow sorry but you just made it even worse by saying that you have 2 children alraedy! Drinking a bottle of wine every night with two children in the house is extremely irresponsible. What would have happened if your child woke up in the night with a high fever and needed to go to the hospital, but you were too drunk to drive them there? And we are obviously very different people, but no bad situation could drive me to become an alcoholic, especially with 2 children in the house under my supervision. Obviously I hope everything is ok with your baby, but I think you should really take a good look at yourself and your choices in life.


reneenay - January 3

I have to agree with Gabby...if you have kids, they need to be your number one priority, and if you're drinking a bottle of wine a night plus "a few hot whiskeys", they definitely aren't. Money wise, you are wasting it on alcohol when you could be using if for much more important things like your kids, but that is the least of it. You've got 2+ kids counting on you for EVERYTHING. You claim to be a "functioning" alcoholic but there is no such thing. No matter what, it will always catch up to you in one way or another. And if you think you're fooling your kids, think again. They are much more perceptive than you think. I wouldn't only avoid alcohol during this pregnancy, but I wouldn't drink again if I were you. You are definitely an alcoholic...that is what a "heavy drinker" is. You obviously can't just have a gla__s. Stay away from it, period. You owe that to yourself but more importantly your children! I used to smoke pot...I stopped immediately when I became pregnant, and I will NEVER do it again because I have other priorities now. I highly suggest you do the same.


newlywed0915 - January 3

Heres what I think: We're a ll bunch of hormonal,, emotional women here because we're ALL preggo, and we jsut need to NOT judge Bobbi based on her past mistakes. Someone PLEASE tell me what happened to those who drank and STILL drink wine and beer on a daily basis? In Europe, thats what they do! Wine and beer is like water to them. Wine is an antioxidant! Its healthy for you!!!! You don't see large numbers of their children born with FAS!!!! None of us know exactly how much alcohol can harm the baby, so the safest bet is not to drink any, but the decision is up to the drinker! Its not up to us to say " Oh no, that one beer, or those two gla__ses of wine are goign to harm your child". Rather, its those who drink hard alcohol for breakfast, lunch, and dinner who cause FAS for their children. I'm talking pure alcoholics who are almost NEVER sober. Thats what causes FAS. I've yet to meeet someone who drank throught their pregnancy and has a child with FAS. I know lots of women with plenty of children, and even more women who are expecting that drank socially and continue to do so. They aren't getting smashed either. To choose not to drink is a precaution to take, if you choose so! If you choose to drink lightly, then whats wrong with that? Seriously....do you know why beer was made? Because water was contaminated. So the Germans drank beer instead of water. There wasn't a large increase of people with FAS, and I'm sure the alcohol content of the beer was pretty normal...and they had more than one gla__s. Really, this "no alcohol" policy some take strict liking to gets a little out of hand with those who feel that its a MUST. I'm not saying we should drink a whole ton, because that wouldn't be wise to say. But if I am out and am craving a gla__s of wine, you bet I'll have a sip or two because its not a big deal. If I am craving a wine cooler, I'll have one of those too. In fact, the other night, Dh had a beer and it smelled SO good, I just had to have the rest....a few sips. Listen, all I'm saying here is that this forum isn't for us to bash women who are here seeking help. We're ALLhere for support, and being hormonal, we should check ourselves before going off on a crazy rant. Obviously Bobbi is worried about her child. Sitting back and typing off something judgemental and cold isn't going to help anything at all.


ShoppingForTwo - January 3

I'd just like to add a few facts. To each there own. And by the way women in England and France have laws about how much they can drink per week, who knows if they are enforced but I think people are giving them a bad image as if they are drinking every meal. FAS it the leading preventable birth defect in the USA and results in mental and behavioral disabilities. For pregnant women, ensuring healthy fetal development should be their top priority. Surgeon General recently issued a statement advising pregnant women and women interested in getting pregnant to completely abstain from alcohol consumption 3 months before TTC. Characteristics of even moderate drinking while pregnant. (Less than one gla__s per week) can include impaired learning disabilities, growth abnormalities, central nervous system disorders, irregular facial features, demonstrate deficient growth, behavior abnormalities, as well as irregularities in language, memory and information processing. Such cognitive abnormalities and behavioral problems resulting from prenatal alcohol exposure are life-long. The prevalence of FAS in the United States alone is 2 cases per 1,000 births. So think about that and choose what you want for your baby. Hey they will suffer not you right?


ShoppingForTwo - January 3

My point of my previous post was just to say that FAS isn't the ONLY side effect to drinking while pregnant. Everyone is focusing on FAS, that's the worse case senario. Booze is probably linked to atusim, and all types of mental problems, but who knows.



You must log in to reply.


Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?