Friday, 25 January 2019

My relationship deal breaker

I still remember the night Steve and I first got together. I had just celebrated my 18th birthday and we were at our work's Christmas party at St Jame's Park. My dad (who also worked with us) was recently single and the other staff members were trying to jokingly set him up with our firm's PA so they switched seats and Steve ended up sitting next to me for dinner.

My relationship deal breaker

Up until this night, Steve and I didn't really talk much as to be honest I was a hard worker and he was a skiver so whenever I came into work to help out after sixth form, he'd see this as an excuse to skive out the back. Our conversations used to revolve around where we were going out that weekend and were purely platonic, there was honestly no spark or attraction there at first (this may also be down to the fact that I was 16/17 and still at school when I first met Steve and he was 19/20 and working full time - an age difference which is pretty big at that stage of life).

But that night at St Jame's Park something changed. It was one of those Christmas parties where there was a lot of free alcohol and I would say that both of us very much took advantage of our firm's generosity. Outside of the work environment, it turned out that Steve and I got on like a house on fire and looking back (maybe with tinted sunglasses), it was one of those evenings where it felt like it was just us two in the room. We spent the whole night crying with laughter, making jokes about other members of staff, stealing wine from other tables when they weren't looking and it was when some of the 'in jokes' we say to each other today started. Laughing led onto dancing (and then snogging and being asked to leave the dancefloor by the DJ - cringe!) and that was the start of something pretty special I think.

It is weird to think that on Jack's birthday this year, I will have spent more of my life being in a relationship with Steve than I haven't. It's a pretty good milestone and 18 years together is something I'm proud of. We've survived being severely skint and living on beans on toast, we've survived the sleep-deprived years that come with having three kids under 5 and Steve has always been my number one cheerleader and supporter in everything I do in life (plus vice versa). I can hand on heart say, the one thing that has kept us together this long is definitely laughter and this is my relationship deal breaker.

I'm not somebody who necessarily laughs a lot by nature but there is something about Steve that can just make me crack up. Pretty much every single day that we've been together has involved me laughing out loud at something he's said. 18 years together means that we have a lot of in-jokes and sometimes even a single word can have me crying with laughter and I'm not just talking about little sniggers either, Steve can often have me laughing so much that it hurts - nobody else has this effect on me, not even my best friends.

We were chatting about this the other night and I said to Steve that I don't make him laugh as much as he does me but he says that isn't true and I make him laugh all of the time (even if I don't know it) but most importantly, we laugh about so much together (when we could have easily cried). Laughter does get you through tough times and releases happy hormones too so is actually good for you.

Laugher really is the best medicine and I would hate to see a day where Steve and I lose the ability to make each other giggle. For me, laughter is definitely a relationship deal breaker and I doubt we'd still be here 18 years on without it.

What about you? What's your relationship deal breaker? 

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My relationship deal breaker


  1. I absolutely love the story of how you and Steve got together, it just always makes me laugh that he annoyed you so much when you were working so hard and he was skiving! HA!!

  2. This is so lovely and has made me feel all warm and fuzzy on this cold January morning!

  3. Laughter and a sense of humour is essential for me too. Just as well living with Papa Ginge eh?!

  4. Aww! You are such a sweet couple. Such a lovely story about how you met!
    Laughter is so important. My fella is a bit of a clown and I am more serious but we do have such a laugh x


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