McDouchehead & replacement (15.1.2012)

Dear Readers,

I have news my pretties! (Forgive me for my combo of a cut and paste job and new schtuff, but it's late).

The guy from the previous entries aka McDouchehead with no taste finally contacted me after TWO AND A HALF WEEKS saying- and this is verbatim, it was so douchey I couldn't possibly make it up- "Hi, hope you had a great x-mas and a good time on the Murray [so why not actually send me a message AT christmas?]. Sorry I haven't been in contact earlier [i.e 2 weeks ago], it's just that I don't really feel like we've hit things off romantically [No shit]. I enjoyed meeting you and we did seem to really get along well tho [yeah the first time, before I realised you were a douche who didn't even like Transformers], so it would be great to keep in touch if you're up for that at all [I'm not]. Hope you're doing alright "

Things that annoyed me about this message:
1) Who the fuck sends a text like that over two weeks after the fact? What is the point?
2) In what universe does he think that we actually have stuff in common? He doesn't like any of the stuff that I like and in fact made fun of me for liking those things
3) Why would I want to be friends with a person like that?
4) Does he think that I've just been waiting by the phone, thinking that he would get in touch?
5) Does he think that I don't have insight enough to know that it wasn't a happening thing AT THE TIME. I told everyone immediately that it tanked for fuck's sake and they were all 'No, just wait and see' and I was like 'No, I speak boy, I know a brushoff when I hear one'. And guess what, I didn't care, because as Aidz helped me realise, he's a douche and I deserve better.

I initially didn't respond because I was like how do I respond to that? But I was tempted to write 'No shit, I figured that out 2 weeks ago when I realised that you are a douche who doesn't like HP or Transformers and doesn't have the balls to make a phonecall. Have a nice life, see you never.'

However I ended up sending something much more subtle, with heavy hints of passive aggression a la England style- turns out this is way fun. Particularly as I know that he wouldn't have gotten it straight away and would have to stop and think about how he was a douche- so much better than just calling him one, don't you think?

Funnily enough, I haven't heard from him since.

Meanwhile there is someone new on the scene. Maybe. Sorta. We met over Orwell (him) and Murakami (Me) which I feel sort of sets the tone for the whole thing i.e we are both GIANT nerds. We talked for 4 hours and coffee turned in to a spontaneous dinner and then an actual organised dinner date for Tuesday (which he set up the next day, might I add).

So here's the thing- we are totally in sync intellectually. He's interesting and smart as hell and at the same time really good at listening and fascinated by what I have to say. I obviously like this. He also doesn't believe in BS mindgames- as evidenced by the ignoring of the 3 day rule- and is (as far as I can tell) super duper honest.

These are all good things.


But I don't know if I like him 'like that'.

He's not bad looking (tall!!) but I don't look at him and want to rip his clothes off.

I want to talk to him for hours and hours about everything and nothing, but I can't imagine introducing him to my friends and family.

I think about funny things to tell him, that I know he will get (straight away, no waiting!) but I don't think about kissing him til I'm breathless.

And so I just don't know what to do.

Do I just wait around for some kind of chemistry to materialise?

Do I just not worry about it and settle for someone I have no desire to sleep with- given that he's not the pushy type anyway?

Or do I pull the plug and suggest we just be friends?

What it really comes down to I think is the age old question- can you ever find amazing intellectual chemistry as well as physical attraction/chemistry with the same person? Can you really have it all?

In my experience it seems to be for me, it's one or the other:

Aidz, James, Glenn, Bart, Joel, Matt, Steven= intellectual/cultural- I wouldn't touch/ed them for all the money in the world.

McDouchehead, Ben, Matts (1&3), Sam, Nathan and basically every guy I've ever hooked up with= physical, I preferred not having to talk to them, because that kinda ruined it.

Technically Gallus would be more the second one, but although he didn't necessarily get the intellectual level, he respected it and we could talk about lots of different stuff quite easily.

The only 2 people I have ever found the combo with- and one definitely more than the other- would be Melbourne Boy and Scottish Guy. Technically with Scottish guy, it was his intellect that made more attractive, whereas Melbourne Boy was genuinely hotter than hell and THEN we ended up being on the same page with the way we thought about stuff.

The thing is, that was years ago and it is seemingly impossible to find. The hot ones don't have a brain and the brainy ones I don't seem to actually see as anything more than a friend.

Arrrgh. It's incredibly irritating. And confusing because I have met this guy is who is seemingly perfect for me, but I just don't think the sexual side of things is on the cards. And part of me pipes up and suggests 'But isn't that a good thing? The sexual side of stuff scares you shitless.'

And while yes, this is true, I also didn't imagine that I would have to completely shut that entire (possible) aspect of my future off. But maybe it's for the best. Oh hell, I just don't know any more.

On the bright side, I will be getting some awesome Spanish food and shit hot conversation out of it...I just wish I was convinced that that would be enough...


heart - break
