Funny metal

Power metal - the hero comes riding a white unicorn, runs from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love with her at the enchanted forest.
Thrash metal - the hero comes, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
Heavy metal - the hero comes riding a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drunks a few beers and fucks a princess.
Folk metal - the hero comes with lots of friends who play accordion, flute, fiddle and lots of other instruments, dragon falls asleep (from all that dancing, probably) and then everyone leaves, without the princess.
Death metal - the hero comes, kills the dragon, fucks the princess, kills her and then leaves.
Black metal - the hero comes at midnight, kills the dragon and impales him in front of the castle, then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood at the pagan ceremony before he kills her, then he impales the non-virgin princess.
Gore metal - the hero comes, kills the dragon, throws away his intestines before the princess' eyes, fucks the princess, kills her, then he fucks her corpse, cuts her stomach open and eats her guts, then he fucks the corpse again, burns it and then fucks it again.
Doom metal - the hero comes, sees how big the dragon is, becomes sad and depressed and kills himself. The dragon eats him and the princess. A sad ending to the sad story ...
Progressive metal - the hero comes and plays 26-minute long solo, the dragon kills himself because of boredom. Then the hero comes into the princess' bedroom, plays all the solos and the cool licks he learned last year at the conservatorium, then the princess runs away from him to seek for heavy metal hero.
Glam metal - the hero comes, the dragon laughs at how he looks and lets him in, the hero steals the princess' makeup and paints the castle with various shades of pink.
Grind metal - the hero comes, screams something totally unexpected for smth like 2 minutes and runs away.
Orphaned Land - the hero comes, reads to the dragon from the Bible, dragon converts to Judaism and goes to pray. The hero saves the princess, marries her and then she dies.
Technical metal - the hero comes, plays something so difficult that he confuses himself, kills the princess and fucks the dragon.
Nu metal - the hero comes in Honda Civic and tries to fight the dragon but burns to death when his pants catch fire.
Speed metal – the hero comes and runs away from the dragon then saves the princess and runs away.
Sludge metal - the ........... hero ........ comes ........ really slooooow ....... looks at the dragon ........ then .... really slooooow ...... he takes out his gun ........ and runs  ........ to the sunset ............
Emo-core - the hero doesn't come, he fell in love with the princess and now he cries in his room, full of Blink 182 posters while the princess fucks with the dragon.
Opeth - the hero comes with rage, storming the dragon, then he suddenly stops and starts to cry. The dragon looks at him, shocked but the hero then succumbs to rage again, kills the dragon and storms the princess' bedroom. There he suddenly becomes melancholic because of all life's hardships and the princess tries to comfort him. While the princess comforts him, the hero succumbs to rage once again and kills the princess, then he understands what he did, and cries all the way to Sweden.
Rap metal - the hero comes, fights the dragon, fights the princess, fights the authority, fights the system, fights the castle and then leaves in his Mersedes.
Electro metal - the hero comes in tight latex clothes, dragons spanks him, captured by the princess and then raped by her and by the dragon.
Mayhem - the hero comes - everyone is already dead.