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Rodney Harrison Is An Idiot. Let Rob Gronkowski Dance!

You may have seen this video of Pats tight end Rob Gronkowski and tackle Matt Light, fresh off of losing the Super Bowl, doing what I would be probably be doing if I just lost the biggest game of my life: getting shitfaced, dancing shirtless, and trying to get laid. But of course, Rodney Harrison doesn't approve of such nonsense:

"I guarantee you this, if Willie McGinest, Tedy Bruschi, Larry Izzo, Richard Seymour or myself had been at that party, [Gronkowski] probably would have got his head rung," Harrison told ESPN 1000 in Chicago. "There's no reason for that to happen."


Hang on just a moment while I place this microphone behind a bullhorn that's been positioned in front of a Marshall amplifier, so that Harrison can hear this:


Is it in every NFL commentator's contract to act like a righteous prick? Gronkowski's season was OVER when that video was taken. There was no game the next week. There was no tape that needed to be urgently studied. The man came within a few inches of catching the winning Hail Mary. And did he sit in a dark room like a dipshit and brood over it? NO. He reacted like a MAN. A man who likes dancing shirtless with other men.

This whole dispute is everything that is stupid and pointless about the football culture. Macho assholes like Harrison, who apparently lost his sense of humor at the bottom of an HGH bottle, think that all football players have to behave the EXACT same way, and that any deviation from that means YOU JUST DON'T LIKE WINNING ENOUGH. Fuck that. And fuck Rodney Harrison. Gronkowski played that game on half a leg. If he parties after the game is over, does that somehow mean that he played less hard? No. Only a complete shithead would think that. And only a complete shithead would play Mr. Tough Guy and brag about all the things he WOULD have done if he had seen Gronk out partying that night. DURRRRR I WOULDA CLOCKED HIM GOOD. Get the fuck out of here. No, you wouldn't have. You wouldn't have done jack SHIT, because there's no good argument to be made against going out and partying your sorrows away.

There's no wrong way for a football player to act after a season-ending loss. Some guys go home and sulk. Some guys head right to the gym. Some guys accept that they did their best and go out and celebrate the fact that they came so far. I hate that people like Harrison, who tolerates no variation of any sort, represent the completely dated and pathetic viewpoints of the NFL media. Fuck him. I hope Gronk and Light spend the next month stripping for drag queens.

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