Go Darke


Fundamental Joeyism


I was going to channel nineteen eighty four and lead with two-minutes-of-hate. I’m on hour… *counts on his fingers*  sixteen of what was supposed to be four hours of rotational load shedding… but has now just turned into an extended power failure. It’s made me exceptionally cranky. More so than usual. Also I’m cold… despite having manoeuvred my carcass onto the porch and into the sun. I have found the older I get the less reptilian my mind becomes (sometimes I can go a whole hour and not think about sex) and the more cold blooded my physiology. Today I feel the deep primordial desire to bask in the radiation on our yellow dwarf until throughly well done. Fuck this medium-rare shit.  

Not having had power since four pm yesterday means every device and power bank in the domicile of the Jo is now completely and utterly dead. Except for my MacBook Air. Which is heroically still chugging along at 30%. This may be the greatest of the all Apple implements that was sprung from the creative vagina of Jobs and company. I know the MacBook Pro people will fight me on this. On the landing grounds and on the beaches… but really what do those dweebs know about fighting. Seriously go back to your Mocca Lattes before you vex me with your ill conceived notions and your reticence to back up your claims with posturing and violence. 

*sigh* How is anything definitively decided these days? 

In olden times the Xbox people *spit* would choose their champion and the Playstation (yay!!) people would choose theres. And then there would be a jolly good brawl and these things would be decided once for all. And then those Xbox troglodytes could slink off and everything in the world would be bright and wonderful again. 

Modernity sucks.

I couldn’t sleep last night. Lots of reasons… foremost of which is I don’t really feel safe when not ensconced in at least three layers of protection. I mean it would still be difficult for ninjas to break into my abode and murder me in my sleep… but not impossible. Especially without electricity with which to power my countermeasures. Also curfew is back. Which means after nine pee em is was eerily quiet out there… in the black. And so I sat by the fire and watched Howls Moving Castle on my MacBook, wedged into the sofa with my two furry cohorts and my Winchester twelve gauge as the hours ticked by into morning…

…which sounds a little insane now that I type it out… 


You know what’s not a good Apple product? The Apple watch. I’m wearing my Casio G-shock again. Which is basically indestructible… and probably the only watch someone with a penchant for gouging himself (and his accessories) on every accessible (and sometimes not so accessible) surface he comes into contact with. Apple watches are for people that work out of coffee shops. And also people that can walk. 

Having a modus operandi that is mostly about crashing into dense and immovable objects does not lend itself well to having nice things. This was a long… and expensive lesson for me. But I think it’s finally sunk into that overly calcified cranium of mine.



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