High School

My sister has a gift.

She left a comment on yesterday’s post about my disdain for high school reunions that said, “Hopefully, none of the lurkers here went to high school with you.”

I laughed nervously but blew off her concern. I literally haven’t had any contact with anyone from my graduating class since 1994, the year I graduated college and moved away from Minnesota. I try to keep this blog fairly anonymous, without too many identifying places or features. If someone from my high school reads this blog, I figured, it would be totally coincidental.

So imagine my horror when I saw a comment on Twitter yesterday, linking to this post, from one of my high school classmates. A few other classmates quickly joined the Twitter-sation. Most were not amused by my original characterization (you might say caricaturization) of the reunion as a drunken snoozefest for washed up 30-year-olds trying to relive the glory days.

And truthfully, my original post was a bit harsh. I was writing tongue-in-cheek, but I know that doesn’t always translate well to the written word, especially if you aren’t here everyday innoculating yourself against my brand of humor.

So I went back and edited my original post to remove the over-the-top elements, and in the process, I ended up liking it more now than when I first posted it, because it refined what I was trying to say. Which is: I have nothing against high school reunions. I am not the Janeane Garofalo character from “Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion,” the embittered loner who was so ignored during high school that now, she can only snarl for a living.

(One of the most quoteable movies of all time, by the way. If you haven't seen it, do so. Quirky but perfect.)

High school wasn’t miserable for me nor was it the highlight of my life. It was just two years of sitting in classrooms, passing time. So of course, the reunion is a non-event for me.

To use an analogy (because I’m the Analogy Queen): Imagine that I ate dinner last weekend at Outback. Maybe it was a beautiful evening. I might have eaten outside on the patio and enjoyed fantastic service and a gorgeous sunset and a sangria that was everything a sangria should be. Now imagine I got an invitation for a reunion of all the people who ate on the Outback patio last weekend, because to some people, that night was so much fun, they want to remember it. But for me? It was just another night out eating steak.

So reunion or no reunion. Do whatever you want. It's no big deal to me.

What does chap my hide a little, though, is the way our culture glorifies the high school experience to the point of enshrining it. Reunions sometimes feed this myth. Countless TV shows, songs and movies tell us the teenage years are the best years of our life.

I beg to differ.

I enjoyed my teen years, thanks to my friends at youth group. Launching into the adult world was exhilarating. It’s like a baby eagle learning to fly. Up. Down. Catch a current. Spiral to the ground. Dip and curve. Hit my head. Bruise a wing. Try again.

But since those days, I have grown up and learned to soar. I enjoy my life more each year. To portray high school as the peak of existence is a great tragedy to me. It’s only the beginning.

Teenagers already believe they are the center of the universe. It just comes with the territory. How about we tell them that life as a teenager is just a phase, and the best part of life is still ahead?

Because it is.

(And to any of my classmates who are going to the reunion this weekend, have a great time. And don’t forget to designate a sober driver.)

(Kidding! There’s that humor again! Sorry. I’ll stop now.)


  1. Okay I didn't comment yesterday, but I read your post and I totally understood how you were feeling. And sadly, the invitation that was sent out for your reunion said all the same things you did anyway! ;)

    I think one of your readers (Melissa) said yesterday "...maybe if they'd invested in MY life 20 years ago, I'd be willing to invest in theirs now..." I quoted that exact line to my husband last night when I told him about your blog post. I have felt bad the past few months removing high school friends from my Facebook, but the fact is exactly how Melissa put it- if we weren't good friends in high school, I don't understand why there automatically has to be a "bond" now. I don't think sharing an alma mater means you should be bound to those people for life, or that I need to share every detail of my family and personal life with them. I'm sure some totally disagree, but unless we have something in common now and are actually emotionally invested in one another's lives, I don't feel the need to pretend high school was this amazing experience and that we'll be "friends forever."

    I went to my 10 year reunion and ended up sitting at a table with people I barely knew 10 years before (let alone now) with nothing to talk about. All the cliques were sitting together just like in high school, and while it was nice to see a lot of people that actually did remember me, I won't do it again.

  2. I didn't comment on yesterday's post, but I just recently missed my ten year reunion. I looked at it in the way that those people who I'm interested in remaining in contact with... I do. Everyone else, why should I spend money to go make awkward conversation? The truth is, I left high school behind as soon as I walked out the door post-graduation. I don't mean that in a harsh way, just that reunions and reminiscing aren't my thing.

  3. What are they complaining about? You gave them props on their Turkish Prison joke.

  4. Wow. Anonymity is fast becoming obsolete with the 'net! LOL

  5. Ohhh, that's funny. So much for being anonymous. I feel exactly the same way...well, maybe more like you expressed in your original post. I don't understand the glorification of high school either - you're just getting started in life, it's a beginning, not the ultimate time of your life. In connecting with people I knew in high school on facebook, I am amazed and also very amused to see "west side pride!!!" proclamations on people's info page. Whaaat?? These are people who graduated in the early 90s. How can they still be cheering for the high school football team on their fb pages? Hilarious. And also, a little sad.

  6. Love this post! And I agree with Erin's above comment, the people who meant something to me in highschool...those are the people that I keep in touch with. And while I enjoyed my high school days...there is NO WAY I would want to go back and relive them. I love the life I have made for myself with my husband and children.

  7. First of all, Kel...the 'humor' in your blogs cracks me up!! You always give me a laugh! Secondly, I agree with not needing to hang onto the 'glory days' of highschool. Although for me, highschool was awesome. For the most part, I loved it! Fun times, great friendships. But I MAY have been one of those people that were "selective" (a nice way to put it) in who I picked for friends, and feel like I didn't try to get to know everyone.(I went to a smaller, private school). And for some of the people that I 'didn't get to know back then', I've come back in contact with VIA Facebook, and have realized what super people they are. So, in a way, I'd like to 're-unite' with the old gang from highschool, see my 'old friends', AND get to know the 'new friends' that I've made. **Just thought I'd throw another opinion into the pot!** :-)

  8. I liked highschool. And I liked my reunion.
    it makes me sad to see or hear from people who highschool is the pinnacle or highlight of their life.

    ....and to be honest, your caricature of reunions wasn't totally inaccurate. which is part of what made it funny. it was also nice to look at all the cliques with a little perspective and alcohol. the most interesting people there were the ones no one spoke to in highschool. and all those hot jocks were mostly fat and balding.

    ...but sometimes i just want to plug forward and never look back. but. there is value in remembering. in reconnecting. in seeing your growth. but that doesn't have to be with a group from high school that you never felt that connected to anyways.

  9. I didn't read yesterday's post but am bummed now that I am reading the edited version..... My class reunion is next year and I am not attending for the same reasons you have stated here. Highschool was a lot about smoke and mirrors. Fake people and rarely meeting the REAL person behind the facade! Including myself! Not at all bitter about highschool but it is a very shallow time to re-live. Now I do have friends that absolutely LIVE for being on the committee to plan reunion so they do not end up like what you have described. However, now that they are saved I wonder about WHY they feel the need to glorify a time when they were foolish? Even to the point to make sure their kids get to have the same experiences as they did by pushing them to attend a public school. I chalk it up to a lack of discernment. A lack of knowing what has eternal value. Funny thing is some of the people I went to school with got saved at my church WELL AFTER highschool. SO they try to make the reunion an evangelistic type of thing. However, I have not heard of ONE PERSON getting saved through this 'outreach'. If I really want to have an evangelistic outreach with someone I have absolutely nothing in common with, I would MUCH rather do it at a homeless shelter or a food pantry, where people know that they need something else and are receptive to the gospel. Glorifying the flesh never turns out to be an evangelistic outreach! Especially when someone is only able to be FUN or enjoyable or tolerant because they are half-cocked. INMO, just more smoke and mirrors mixed with fear of the not pleasing the people who could really care less about what the Lord has done in your life.

  10. I can't believe they found your post and tweeted it! And also, sounds like we had a much similar experience. I did go to my 10 year reunion, but was pregnant, and got HIT ON by someone that had a crush on me and I never knew it (he was popular, too!) but I realized a lot of the same things were true- everyone had changed PHYSICALLY but they were the same exact people they used to be... which was sad for some that they had not grown at all in that last 10 years, and how stuck on high school so many still were because high school was their Prime. I am THANKFUL highschool was not the best years of my life.


  11. I'm with you. I was never a fan of high school.

    The day my parents dropped me off at college was the most exciting day of my life up to that point - which of course made it that much worse for my poor mom that I was so happy to leave!!

    My High School has reunions every 5 years. I went to my 10year and that's it. The worst part is... they always have the reunions over the Fourth of July weekend - and I continue to wonder who on God's Green Earth wants to go back to Po-Dunk and see people they never liked anyway on one of the few holidays of the year that typically includes a day off from work!??!?!?