Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Not home for the holidays

The last time I had Thanksgiving with my parents at their home was my senior year of high school. I've been with my parents twice on Thanksgiving since but one time was at my sister's and one time was at my uncle's. It was hard and strange at first, but it's just how it is now. I had two Thanksgivings on my mission (neither in this country). And the rest were with various extended family members, mostly an uncle on my dad's side. They were all good Thanksgivings.

Eventually we'll just have us for Thanksgiving at our home. But for now we're still celebrating with others. Last year it was friends of mine. This year it's his family. And this might be one of the stranger ones I've had yet. In a way I'm glad I'm used to being with others for the holiday. It's going to make this one easier. I get along great with my in-laws, but I still feel like I'm not quite integrated. I've only been part of the group for a very short time. We're all still adjusting.

I am not someone who likes a lot of small talk and I also do not like feeling like I am in the way. And I know that the kitchen is small enough that if I go in there to help I'll just make it more crowded, and I won't know where anything in the kitchen is so I'll need someone to basically show me where/how to do things, and at that point it's just easier to let them do it. And I'll most likely have to do a lot of small talk. The women do small talk. The men tell stories and talk about deeper things. The women talk about that stuff too when they are with the men. But when it is just the women their conversations are different. I'm more comfortable with the men, probably in large part because I'm more comfortable with my husband than I am with any of them. I don't want to appear ungrateful or a free-loader. So I'll offer to help. I always do. I guess we'll just see what happens.

At least I know we won't be sitting at the children's table. (Although honestly, that might actually be more fun. Some of my nieces and nephews on that side are college age and they're quite fun to be with.)