
  The Core Emotional Need Of Realistic Expectation  

Matthew 6:31-34

Ecclesiastes 12:12-14

1 Timothy 6:2-11
6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Human mind has so many expectations. Several of them are to please the society and self but very unrealistic. That puts the individual to stress. Parents can be so carried away by the rat race of the world and fall prey to this. With this mind we can burden the children with our dreams and desires as the expectation on them.

The core emotional need of realistic expectation can be defined as helping your children to understand what is expected of them, while giving them the freedom to be themselves. It involves fine tuning expectations so that they inspire and motivate your child.

This expectation cannot be too high that puts pressure on the child or cannot be too low that is uninspiring and conveys a lack of belief in the child's capacity. Some parents may have exaggerated expectations while some may have little or no expectation.

We cannot meet the need of realistic expectation without ensuring that the core emotional need of connection and acceptance is also adequately met. In order to meet this need, children need to consistently and on an emotional level hear and believe the following messages from their parents.

"They have realistic expectations and they know my strengths and weaknesses. They encourage me to do my best, while letting go off the perfectionistic expectations. They help me to achieve balance between work and play. Their love for me is not based on the outcome of my achievements at school. They value my strengths and aspirations even though they may be different from theirs and not as recognised by society. They guide me in taking care of myself and endeavour to ensure that I enjoy life. They truly forgive me when I mess up".

Today's Practical

Kindly ask your child if they feel and believe the above messages.

If the answer for most of the messages is negative, then you as a parent ned to modify your expectation on your child.