Monday, May 23, 2016

Boy Wonder Contemplates the Injustice of It All

Christ the damn principal is an idiot. His cabinet is like a bunch of jackals, all jockeying for his job. Well I don't want his damn job. I'm gonna get my own little school, with maybe a dozen teachers. You get paid the same and you don't have the headaches, like old Feinstein, or that bastard Walsh, complaining, being heroes, filing APPR complaints, grievances and Americans with Disabilities Act crap.

And dont think I don't know that damn Chapter Leader isn't egging them on. When I'm principal I'm gonna make sure every teacher is brand new so I can do whatever the hell I feel like without some damn old Chapter Leader breathing down my back with oh, the contract says this and the contract says that.  Contract, shmontract. They'll jump when I say jump, and they'll jump out the damn window if I tell them to.

And now the principal, after praising me all year, is telling me he doesn't like how I do the teacher teams, just because some superintendent says they don't like the way I do the teacher teams. How the hell am I supposed to get my job done if I don't have teacher teams to do it for me? Even with teachers sitting around in closets at 5 AM just to do their jobs I can't get my job done unless I have minions to do it for me. And of course that bastard Chapter Leader is supporting this too.

Christ I have the best teacher teams in the building! They ran the mock election. They checked out a bunch of online programs. They wrote the midterms. They hung up all the bulletin boards on the first floor, and have a damn rubric on each and every one. They've written all the curriculum, and they even rewrote the stuff that was no good, and the stuff that was good. But do I get thanks? Do I get a promotion? Do I get an attaboy? Oh, no, I get reamed out for having the best teacher teams in the building.

He should be kissing my butt, and everyone knows I have the best butt in the building. But NOOOO! The folks upstairs say it's gotta be inquiry. I'll give them inquiry. How the hell am I supposed to do this stuff if I have to work on it myself? Don't they know there are observations to be done? File letters to write? And Christ, when am I supposed to go out to lunch? It's not like there's anyplace good to eat in this neighborhood. And jeez, how am I supposed to get rid of all the deadwood if I don't even have time to write up all the things I'm accusing them of? In fact, if I have to do all this project crap I won't even have time to make up all the stuff I write up.

You know what I could go for? I really could go for a Pattimelt Supreme like they make over at the diner. You know, with the curly fries and onion rings and everything. Let me check petty cash. Twenty bucks ought to do it.

"I'm gonna go out and observe classes."

Now how can I keep the teams working on doing my stuff while making the principal think they're doing that inquiry stuff? Well, they're supposed to be looking at student work. Maybe I could hang some on the walls. No, I'll get them to hang the stuff on the walls.  They could do it during their teacher teams. After all, that's student work, and they are looking at it.

This is gonna be a pain in the ass. I'm gonna have to spend every minute in those stupid teams instead of just popping in every twenty minutes to make sure they're working. And if the principal walks in I could strike up a conversation or something.

"Hey, how about that differentiated instruction? Did you make sure every worksheet was optimized to the level of every student? Did you break the class into three levels? Why not four? Why not ten?"

I don't understand these ungrateful bastards. I mean, here I am, giving them chapter and verse on what's wrong with them and not even a thank you. Do you see any of them standing up and saying what's wrong with them? Of course not. Weak as water!

You know some of those schools in California have like, a Taco Bell in the cafeteria. Can you imagine that? You don't even have to leave work, and BAM! A Taco Supreme right there. Why the hell can't we do that in New York? When I'm principal, I'll bring a Taco Bell to my own school. And the principal eats the school lunch free, baby.

Not this principal. Does it occur to him to go out to lunch at all? No. He eats that same school lunch the kids eat. What's the point of being principal if you have to eat like that? And he goes to the cafeteria himself to get it. When I'm principal, I'll have some teacher pick up my lunch from someplace good. And that teacher can pick up the tab. Maybe for a C6 assignment or something. Maybe in exchange for an effective rating in 4E.

This will not stand! It's an outrage!  Man I hope those bastards at the diner don't overcook my Pattimelt. I'll send it back. For now maybe I can talk the principal into running a cooking class so that the kids can make my lunch. And if they don't cook it right I'll rate the teacher ineffective.

Yeah. That's the ticket.
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