Adventures in Fake Journalism: Criminal Minds Suspect Behaviour 106

You know, I give a lot of crap to the writing on Criminal Minds because of its general terribleness, but now that the season is over, I thought it might be a good time to reflect on the decent writing being done somewhere along the line in the production.

Take a look at the letter that I'd assumed was the corpse's suicide note from episode 106: Devotion.

So someone actually sat down and wrote something - that alone is worthy of applause. What's even better is that the letter actually reads well:

Dear Dad,

Can you say goodbye to somebody when you've never really gotten to know them? I wonder because this feels a lot like a goodbye to me.

Lucky Number Ten. It's always been my lucky number but it almost feels like the universe laughing at me . Poor Tami. She sends another letter and it comes back with that angry RETURN TO SENDER finger pointing right in her face.

I won't write after this unless you write back. I don't want money or anything, I just want you to acknowledge that you know I'm out here. I'm out here and I'm part of you and I'm writing and writing and writing-
(cut off) write back.


See? While certainly not Valerie or anything I'll remember in a week or two, it's certainly a perfectly good example of in-character writing, and far more competent than I've come to expect from Criminal Minds.

So great work, whoever made that prop! You deserve a raise! Or to get hired on a better show, if Suspect Behavior was cancelled between me writing this and now.


JeeJee said...

First, let me just say that I am not being antagonistic for the meanness of it. As an English teacher and avid lover of writing in all forms, I completely respect your opinions. I just wanted to ask why, if you despise the writing of this particular television show so very much, do you continually watch every episode and spend an hour of your week--every week--blogging about it...with the whole play-by-play thing at that?
Don't get me wrong, I have a tendency to be a critic. My family constantly scolds me about it, and no one can stand to watch a new movie with me. However, I truly just don't understand why someone would constantly devote time to something they claim to hate.
Although I have gathered from your posts that you are intelligent enough get my point, let me spell it out just incase.
Are you old enough to remember Howard Stern? He was a very controversial comic. I myself did not care for his taste, but as I said, I respect everyone's differences. However, I knew many people that would constantly complain about how inappropriate he was; those same people were sure to listen and critique every single show--driving up his ratings.
If this does not ring a bell, then perhaps you have read (or at the least heard about) the Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyer. The same phenomenon went on with her books. No one I knew admitted to enjoying the series, but yet everyone seemed to have read the entire series--as the books were released.
This perplexes me to no end. Is it morbid curiosity you claim? Or something else? Personally, I thing you guys just don't want to admit that you actually enjoy something that should not (according to literary and contemporary standards) be considered "good."
Sure, I will hand you that a lot of the dialoge in Criminal Minds is just downright lame. And, the plots often border ridiculous. I won't even go there with how trite and cliché some of the scenes are. However, I will admit that I enjoy the show. Why? Probably the same reason I enjoyed those unbelievably, horribly written Twilight books. Guilty pleasure? Something you can enjoy and not have to actually use your brain to enjoy? Perhaps it is just the character relationships that you envy?
Yes, I switched pronouns on you, but don't go profiling me. I'm not implying any connection...just making a point.
Anyways, I have no idea what sparked my need to respond this time. I have read a half a dozen of your blogs (usually because I cannot find a decent plot summary, and your blog is the closest thing I could find). I don't expect you to stop criticizing the show. I am not that arrogant. I just wanted you to thing for a minute--profile yourself. Do you really hate the show so much? If so, could you go a few weeks without watching it? Sure, but then, could you never go back and watch those episodes...just skip them completely? I doubt it.
Perhaps I am wrong. I'm human. Oh, and I am terribly sorry about any typos or grammatical errors. I'm tired. BTW, you have several grammatical errors throughout your blogs too.
I doubt you care, but when you use the phrase "who [insert verb] who" it should actually be "who [insert verb whom." While I know that the technological age is trying to completely do away with such archaic traditions, it is still technically correct. Oh, and when you are using a contraction for "you are" it should be "you're" not "your."
Like I said before, it is your blog and you have a right to do as you please. I am just an old lady who also likes to share her opinion.
Best Wishes.

BedazzledCrone said...

As a teacher myself, there are things about the blogs that are a problem - like the typos. However, they are written on the fly, as I understand it. At times there is a stream of consciousness thing going on - that makes for an awkward read.
I have been watching Criminal Minds again from the beginning, and ran out of the Count's blogs (although it appears that there will be new ones coming soon). I can't say that I enjoy the show - Nashville was a guilty pleasure, but not CM.
It is like watching a train wreck or a hurricane watch these days, I can't quite stop unless I force myself too. I stopped at one point when the shows first aired (Joe Mantegna's phoning it in was a real problem), and have gone back to watching - probably with a more critical eye. There are times when I cringe at the visuals - I can't believe that it is on as early as it is. There is something strange about the show that I haven't quite figured out. When you binge watch, like I have been doing, there are times when an episode comes on that is completely out of left field - it makes no sense, there is no continuity with the previous episodes, it seems to have the opposite message of most of the shows. I ask myself if they have a real script editor.
In the end, I guess I just have to see what is going to happen next and how it is going to end - although now that CM is going into its 13th season, it just may never end.
I also started watching CSI: Miami - the one that the Count calls the worst written show on television(to take a break from the bleakness of CM). It may be worse written than CM (arguable?), but at least it is consistent in its thematic structure.