Thursday, August 15, 2019

Will It Work?

Collaborative divorce sounds good in theory, but many people wonder whether it can work in their case.

What Happens if it Fails?
If the process fails, the parties have to hire new attorneys and essentially start over. That means additional cost.

Incentive to Keep Working
The cost, delays and inconvenience of switching attorneys all create a big incentive for the parties to keep working together and to try other approaches if they struggle to reach agreements.  It's a big part of why the Collaborative divorce process works.

Reasons for Failure
But, in initially deciding whether to use the Collaborative process or go to litigation, people sometimes feel overwhelmed by their bad situations. They sometimes think Collaborative would fail because of one of the following reasons:
  • You and your spouse may be really mad at each other and don't want to talk to each other.
  • You and your spouse don't trust each other.
  • You're afraid your spouse can out-negotiate you.
  • You don't know what to do or what to ask for in a settlement.
  • You and your spouse don't seem to be able to agree on anything.
How We Deal with Those Concerns
These are all very common obstacles that divorcing people face. Experienced Collaborative attorneys and other professionals are used to dealing with these problems.
  • We can get you and your spouse in a calmer state and able to talk respectfully.
  • We start off figuring out the goals and needs (our targets) for each party. We go deeper than the standard, "I want half of everything".
  • Then we break down the process into manageable steps: gathering information, developing options, negotiating with the aid of the professionals and reaching agreements.
  • Throughout the process, we have the deep involvement and leadership of the professionals needed for parenting plan decisions and property division issues.
  • The parties learn of new options for settlement that they often have not thought of.
  • We can take as much time as is needed to develop the information and options so that both parties are comfortable with an agreement that benefits both parties.
 Bottom Line
 The Collaborative Divorce process works about 85-95% of the time.  That's pretty successful.

If you have concerns about how it might work in your situation, please contact an experienced Collaborative attorney who can help you visualize how the process would be for your case.

Note-- Second Opinion:  If an attorney tries to talk you out of using the Collaborative process, do yourself a favor and get a second opinion from an experienced Collaborative attorney who has actually worked through a number of cases. Unfortunately, some people advertise for Collaborative cases and use that to draw in potential clients without having the experience or real interest in Collaborative Law.