Mediation Civility/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Posted on September 8, 2018


A post appeared on in August 2018 on sample Mediation Ground Rules. It was written by James Melamed, and it contained 12 rules to ensure an orderly and successful mediation process. I will “cherry pick” 4 of the Melamed “rules” and add a fifth of my own. These rules are basic, civil, and quite necessary to ensure confidence in the mediation process. They are primarily geared to divorce mediation but apply, in large part, to all mediations.
1. Parties should wait to talk until the other party concludes her/his remarks.
2. The parties should use each other’s name and not “He” or “She”.
3. Listen respectfully to what the other party is saying.
4. Agree that no further adversarial proceedings take place while the mediation is continuing. If this rule cannot be kept (e.g. the Court is demanding that the parties appear on a matter), proper notice must be given to the adversarial party.
5. Finally, I add this: All discussions involving the children must be aimed at achieving the “best interests” of the children.

Basic rule: You may have adversarial interests to another party, but civility is always required. Mediate don’t litigate.