Karaoke and Coming Out



Rainbow Members
Sep 2, 2018
I am a true, die-hard Karaoke junkie, so I'm always quick to plug it as a pastime for others. I also live in a profoundly open minded and accepting town, so my experiences may not be typical. I go to a lot of different Karaoke clubs, all with pretty much different people (there are a few of us that show up everywhere, but mostly the crowd goes with the club). I'm not sure why, but my experience has been that Karaoke people are uncommonly accepting -- of everyone. I was already out when I started singing Karaoke, but I was really surprised by how I was received by all these different groups (all of which are a really diverse group of people). It really was like I was no different from anybody else (I'm not, of course). I almost pass, and can If I really want to (mostly, I have to be constantly conscious of my voice -- it's hard for me to not sound like a man), but usually as soon as I open my mouth, I give myself away. My singing voice is pretty feminine, but my speaking voice, not so much, so it's not like these people didn't know, right from the get-go that I'm trans.

I wanted to talk about Karaoke and coming out because I have seen quite a few people who when they started coming to a given club were their birth sex, but after a few weeks came dressed as their true sex and essentially came out to the crowd. None of them actually did anything, or said anything to actively "come out," they just showed up as their true selves and were received just like I was the first time I went to any of these clubs. A few people commented on the change, but not in any kind of negative way. Because people's names are shown up on the screen when they get up to sing, no one even fumbled over a person's name, they just waited until their first song, and then they knew what their name was, and used it from then on. 

My point is, if you are having trouble deciding where and how to come out socially, you might want to try going to a Karaoke club. Just go as yourself, be yourself, and mingle -- and sing (even if you think you can't). There are always a few people (sometimes most of the people) who really can't sing, but nobody cares -- that's what Karaoke is all about. I think it might be partly the fact that people are used to accepting people as singers regardless, and so are just in an accepting mode at Karaoke and so don't really care who you are. There is a camaraderie in Karaoke crowds, almost like family. Everyone is accepted just because they are there. 

Like I said, I live in an unusually open minded and accepting city, so this might not be typical, but I have also gone to Karaoke in several nearby smaller towns -- factory and mill towns, where Karaoke happens at Road House bars, and I am still always treated as a lady, right from the start, and never hassled (the few times I have been hassled, the entire crowd ran the offender right out of the bar).

I was out for years before I started singing Karaoke, but I was still kind of coming out to that particular group of people. I started going to Karaoke because I had no social life, and I love to sing, and after my first experience, being so totally absorbed into the crowd like I was family, I kept going back, and going back, and going back. Now my BFF and I go out 5 or 6 nights a week, and stay till the bar closes (or until the Karaoke is over -- usually the same time).

Just going to bars and night clubs never worked for me, but even the same places, when they have Karaoke, work. I have made so many friends -- real friends too, many of whom invite me to other things they are involved in, so they're not just Karaoke friends. 

Anyway, if you haven't found your social niche yet, you might want to give Karaoke a try.
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