Q: I've been ready to get back into the dating scene, but I don't want my daughter to see a rotating door of guys, and my biggest fear is going with a guy who is not healthy for me and my child, and finding out too late. I hear so many horror stories of new partners being abusive, I know the obvious, "if he's abusive, get help" but what else should I keep an eye out for? I'm about to give up dating until my daughter is 30 yrs old; anyone else feel this way? Any advice on this topic? Thank you!

A: Don't give up dating! It's a learning curve like anything else so you need to get out there and practice. I agree it's best to keep dating and your children separate until you know the man is "a keeper."  Meet the dates outside the house and make sure your child is left in safe hands. You are entitled to go out and enjoy yourself. Having a healthy adult relationship is an important part of life and like anything else takes time and effort. Look for red flags such as a lack of responsibility, words and actions not matching up, and poor treatment of others. Pay attention to how he makes you feel. You want to select someone who can really add to your life and your child's life.

If you find you are making poor choices in men, talk with a friend, clergy person or therapist.


Answered by Dr. Eva Ritvo



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