Is it okay to throw yourself an anniversary party?

My bf's parents will be married 25 years on Valentine's Day. It's going to be a big deal. They even rented out a Masonic Ledge Hall to have it in and it will be catered. Okay technically my bf is "hosting" it, but his parents are paying for everything, the hall and catering, and the invitations. His mom sent out photo card invites, she designed them and paid for them, addressed the envelopes and paid for the envelopes. But his name is on the invitation like he planned this whole thing. I don't know that is planning anything except what to wear. My bf is okay with it. He said that his mother didn't get a wedding reception because his dad was back from basic training and asked her and had to get married quickly before he went back. He's 23 years old and he said if he had to pay for it, they'd have to have it his parent's garage and it would just be lemonade and chips. The way she's doing it is there going to have fried chicken, pulled pork bbq, potato salad, cole slaw, baked beans and a great big wedding cake with a 25 topper instead of a bride and groom.

Oh Boy!

Totally fine.


It's alright to have any sort of party to celebrate events in your life, as long as you're not soliciting/expecting gifts for yourself. Your boyfriend's mother is doing everything correct, etiquette-wise. Asking their son to be the host of the party allows the parents to relax and enjoy their evening while the son, as the host, makes sure the evening runs smoothly and all the guests have a good time. So, as his guest, you should help him do that during the evening by being supportive and staying in the background (not demanding his time and attention). Being a host is an important job.


Of course it is and it sounds like they certainly deserve it to. It's like a wedding that they didn't have. You sound a little uncomfortable, you shouldn't be .


It is NORMAL to throw yourself an anniversary party. After all, you and your partner remember the day of your anniversary. As the years peel by, nearly no one else remembers anymore. Hurray! Have fun.


They've been married for 25 years... IT'S A BIG DEAL!!! Let them have their party, that they planned for themselves. When my parents hit the 25 year mark (28 this year) they went on vacation because they didn't get a honeymoon after their wedding. They had to go right back to work and then I showed up a year after that. Let them be happy and celebrate their life together. It's rare to see couples married that long, so of course they're going to throw a party and enjoy it.


They aren't throwing it for themselves- they're throwing it for each other. And yes, it's perfectly fine. They've lasted this long, and never had the celebration they would have wanted. They've been through military service and probably a lot of other things. Go have fun, and be gracious. There's nothing wrong here, and if you are going to cast aspersions on them, perhaps their son should find someone else.


Of course they can throw themselves an anniversary party TBH the weird bit is pretending your boyfriend's had anything to do with planning it.


Yes. They can throw themselves any party they want, same as anyone else.


Sure its normal and I don't see any problem with it.

Suzy Q

Throwing yourself an anniversary party is no different than throwing yourself a birthday party, or a housewarming party, or a My Curling Team Won party. It's just seeing cause to celebrate something and inviting others to celebrate with you. If they don't expect your boyfriend to be on hosting duty during the event itself, they shouldn't have put his name on the invitations.


It is just fine


It is always greedy and rude to solicit gifts for oneself. From that, it follow that it's greedy and rude to host a shower for oneself. Other than that, one is perfectly free to host parties for ones own special occasions so long as there is no "bring me a present" consideration involved. It is not incorrect to ask someone else to host a party for ones own special occasion. Who does the work, who pays the bill isn't what determines who shall be the official host(s). Yes, there is a sense of the word "host" that means doing the work and paying the bills, but there are other senses of the word including that of being the officially designated host. Consider that Alex Trebek is the host of Jeopardy but is not the person responsible for getting the work done, not the person responsible for paying all the bills.


It's always OK to throw a party for yourself if you wish. What's rude is if you host a party for yourself where the intention is for the guests to bring gifts (i.e., a bridal or baby shower), or if you specifically request gifts or print a registry link on your invitation (which is always rude no matter what). Anyway, if your mom thinks it's best to list your BF as host, and he agrees to it, then there's no problem here. "Host" simply means the person who sees that the guests are taken care of ... it doesn't automatically mean the person who paid the bill. Also, this is between your BF and his parents, so butt out.


Why wouldn t it be ok?

I care

Married that long in today's society is a true CELEBRATION...…….honor it.


Yes it is perfectly OK to give your own anniversary party. I don't know why they've chosen to give their son credit for it -- maybe they want give him some experience with adult party giving. But it's their business.


Yes they can throw their own party but I don't know why the son is set as host guess it makes sense some how.


Is it okay to throw yourself a birthday party, Yes. Same is true for a anniversary party. Why would anyone care.


You can have a party any time you want. BF should talk with parents about food and expenses .


It's not improper at all to throw your own anniversary party, but a lot of families do the wink-wink, nudge-nudge, "sons throwing our party" thing. It's early training for when they're celebrating their 50th and it really will be his responsibility.


honestly, I think celebrating with a whole pointless party for a 25th anniversary and stupid and exaggerated. what about the 24th? or the 23rd? or the 22nd? did they have a big party for those anniversaries?