Home Schooling Pros and Cons

Updated on September 22, 2011
V.D. asks from Smithfield, UT
12 answers

I'm trying to do some research on what I want to do for my kids and was hoping to get some opinions from other moms that home school their kids.

What do you think is the most important reason to home school?
How well has it worked for you?
Are your kids benefiting from it?
Do you ever regret not going the public school way?
What other information do you think I need to know before deciding on home schooling?
How much does it cost for your family?

I am torn. I have the opportunity to stay home with two kids and want the very best for them. I went to public school and it was fine for me. I understand the flaws of the public school system and don't want my kids to just become a number. My husband was home schooled k-12. His parents didn't do a very good job and if he wasn't so self motivated he'd have failed. He's very smart and it worked for him, but not for his younger siblings who fell through the cracks and are now suffering as adults.

I feel I have the ability to teach my kids and love it. But I'm concerned that they'd miss other positive things the public schools offer. What do you think they'd miss out on? I'm looking for all the pro's and con's on both home schooling and public schooling. Any and all comments would be so helpful. My husband is supportive of what direction I want to take. Note my kids haven't started school yet, my youngest will start in a year so It's been on my mind. What should I know?

Thanks so much for your help.

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answers from Williamsport on

Unfortunately, we live in a bad district with a poor public school. Even the private one near us is not great academically.

The perks-and the reason I started homeschooling my kindergartner:

You have access to the finest educational materials to teach the most information of any style you choose. I'm doing a Classical Education as per The Well Trained Mind and am EXTREMELY impressed with the material we will cover by next year. Also, it only takes a couple of hours per day to teach much more than covered in most all day kindergartens (you have to research yours vs good guides such as "What Your Kindergartner Should Know" to see what they cover etc.).

The short homeschool hours enable tons of free time for play and social activities, and still leave room for lessons that wouldn't be taught in school such as foreign languages and musical instruments, whereas an all day kindergarten would make it tempting to skip those for fear of overkill. I also didn't want to have to supplement all the academics after such a long day at age 5.

Setbacks: I know a structured schedule is important, and my daughter loves school. She went to K4. She loves everything abut going to an institution and being included.

I basically had to choose between lots of knowledge, or lots of socializing for the coming year. I wish both were prevalent in public kindergarten, but the curriculums have nose dived since the 70s even in the better schools.

I feel she has time as she gets older to get more social. Also, we keep a good structure here. Every morning we do piano violin, class work, Fridays a French tutor, and every day by lunch, we're done. We enjoy the rest of the day playing and being social. We've been on some awesome activities with a local homeschooling group-working on an organic farm, glass factory, demolition derby/fair. So it's truly awesome to see her learning so much, and my younger ones are picking a lot up. We live at the library, going through books like crazy. I feel blessed to be able to be home to do this right now. Starting the day off learning kind of keeps me in the zone to teach and converse all day. We review at night with questions in bed and more books. Some days we don't even work if we've done a ton of material each day.

However, for the sake of preparing for real life, I wish I could just send her to a really good school. If we move to a better district one day, I will.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

I could literally write pages on why we homeschool, but I will try to keep it as short as possible so you don't have to read a novel. :-)

Q. What do you think is the most important reason to home school?

I truly believe kids learn so much more when they are home. One-on-one teaching takes much less time and they learn a lot more than when they are in a crowded classroom with 30 other kids. I want them to be able to learn at their own pace: spend more time on subjects they are having difficulty with, and move on to more complicated subjects if they are ready to go forward. I also want them to avoid the negative socialization that goes on in schools. I want them to learn how to think critically instead of accepting what they are told without question. I also love being with them, teaching them and learning things with them, and having the greatest conversations with them while answering all of their questions. There are so many more reasons why we homeschool and love it, but these are just a few.

Q. How well has it worked for you?

So far we love it; we've been homeschooling for almost two years now.

Q. Are your kids benefiting from it?

I believe so. We actually put our daughter in kindergarten and half of first grade before we started to homeschool, and I think she's learned a lot more at home than she did in school. Really it all comes down to time. They have SO much more time at home to learn compared to school. At school, they are expected to do work and listen to the teacher, then they are sent home with even more homework to do, yet many kids are not learning what they need to learn. But when you are teaching your children one-on-one, they have the time they need to spend learning something, while still having plenty of time for socializing with friends and taking classes and extra-curricular activities. My kids are making friends, reading well above their grade level, and we are all pretty close as a family. I love it.

Q. Do you ever regret not going the public school way?

No, not at all. Pretty much the only thing I can see that they would miss out on in public school is field trips, and you can take plenty of field trips on your own or with other homeschoolers, so that isn't actually a problem at all. Since my daughter spend over a year in school, we could compare the difference, and one main difference was that when she was in school, she didn't like playing with her younger brother anymore. She was mean to him. After we took her out, she was much nicer to him again. I'm not sure if it's because they spend so much time with their own age group that they don't like playing with younger kids, or if it's because school is so tiring for them, but I really didn't like the behavior change (and since it stopped when we started homeschooling, we know it was because of school).

Q. What other information do you think I need to know before deciding on
home schooling?

I would say one thing that is very helpful to do is to join a local homeschool support group. It helps a lot to be with other families who homeschool, both for advice and also for your kids to have other kids to play with. We spend two days a week at a park day where the kids can play with other kids; usually they are after lunch, so the kids can do their schoolwork in the morning and play with their friends in the afternoon. It is also great because you can talk to other homeschooling parents and get advice from them, especially from those who have been doing it for years. And you can also find out what homeschooling resources are in your area, and where all the great field trip places are.

I was nervous at first about homeschooling, but the more research I did the more I loved the idea. These are a few books I would recommend for you to read (I checked them out from the library and they really helped a lot):

-The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling by Rachel Gathercole--This is a great one that really calmed my worries about socialization.
-The Everything Homeschooling Book by Sherri Linsenbach
-Homeschool Your Child for Free! (2009 version) by LauraMaery Gold and Joan Zielinski--This has so many different websites that can help with teaching particular topics, and it is very useful.

Q. How much does it cost for your family?

Not much at all; we use a lot of free resources online and we go to the library at least twice a week. Thankfully we live in an area where we can get a great deal of books at the libraries that are helpful in whatever subject we are studying; and the internet is a wonderful resource for information as well. My advice to you is: don't spend a lot of money on a pre-packaged curriculum. While your kids are young, you have the time to do research and see if you want to use a particular curriculum or just make up your own. In my opinion, if you do spend money, it should be on field trips, classes, and hands-on activities where they can learn a lot (rather than on textbooks and worksheets).

Sorry, this ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be...hope it helps! And feel free to PM me if you have any other questions; as you can probably tell, I love to talk about homeschooling. :-)

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I homeschool my 1st grade son because I want the best for him academically and spiritually. Also I think he does better at home than he would in a school environment. So, far it has been great. This is our second year and he really enjoys it as do his younger brothers who do "learning" at the same time:). He breezes through most subjects and then we add others that he enjoys. Right now we are studying ancient history and using maps to see the changing rulers and such. He seems to truly enjoy learning and going at his own pace. I do not for a second regret sending my kids to regular school, but may go the Catholic school route someday. We are involved in a homeschool group in our area. So we attend P.E. class once a week, a boys virtue club once a month, cub scouts twice a month and lego club twice a month. All of these events are with other families who homeschool for the same reasons and raise their children in a similar way. So I really enjoy their company and their children. I would suggest finding a homeschool group in your area and see what types of classes, events, and field trips they may have. Also you can talk to someone in the group and ask all your questions. Finally it wouldn't be the worst idea to try it for Kindergarten and see how it goes. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I think there are good and bad experiences in public school or homeschool. I know some that come from both that have been neglected and some have done great. So, keep that in mind. You really do have the power to offer a great learning environment for your child. And, public school won't necessarily do anything that you can't do at home, only better! :-)

To answer your questions:
Q: What do you think is the most important reason to home school?
A: I want my children to be who they are without the social pressure of school. I know people are always worried about the social aspect of being homeschooled, but I am far more worried about the social impact of being public schooled. There is so much peer pressure and so much bad stuff that they are exposed to. I also want the freedom to choose the teaching style and info that I want. I didn't enjoy learning in public school. I hated it, but with homeschooling...I have the power to make it fun for them, which I find very exciting.

Q: How well has it worked for you?
A: I think it's worked well so far, but I'm still at the beginning.

Q: Are your kids benefiting from it?
A: Yes, I definitely think so.

Q: Do you ever regret not going the public school way?
A: Sometimes I worry that I don't know enough to help my daughter (she's hearing impaired and speech delayed). I worry that if she were in public school, she'd get more help. But then I see what she has accomplished, and I'm amazed and so glad that I have kept her at home with me as a one on one tutor! She is not at her grade level, but she wouldn't be if she was in public school. My son, on the other hand, when he was just a few months past 4 yrs old, he was reading on first grade level. He's been able to take off at his own pace and learn what he wants. I think he'll be one that will excel well beyond his grade...and I'm glad he has that freedom.

Q: What other information do you think I need to know before deciding on home schooling?
A: Knowing that you don't have to do public school, only at home. What I mean by that is you have a huge variety of teaching methods at your disposal, AND you do NOT have to do schooling all day long. Studies have shown that public schooled kids are actually learning only two hours a day. So, if you take that and have them at home (the younger they are, the less time they need with schooling), then they can spend most of the day exploring life and the world and enjoying it versus being stuck at school all day where they are restricted in things. I think the best way to learn is to give them time to learn what they want to learn about.

Q: How much does it cost for your family?
A: For two kids (I have five...almost...but the other three are too young), it has cost my $240 on curriculum for the year. But you can do it for free with other curriculums. We use A Beka and love it.

I just remember being stuck in school all day and being driven mad that I never got to do what I wanted to do. Then going home there was homework for the evening. I think kids should be allowed to be kids and play and enjoy life.

I'm not into the social structure of school, so I like that my kids feel free from that. They have much better self esteem than I did!

Also, like others have said, there are homeschooling co-ops and get togethers. There is definitely a social side to homeschooling that maybe wasn't there years ago.

I love homeschooling. I love that I get to be with them all day. They love it too. We are structured and they love that. But we keep it light and fun and they are doing great.

Very rarely I might wonder if I am doing everything right, but having a curriculum to follow helps with that. But most of the time my hubby and I tell each other how glad we are we are homeschooling and wouldn't want it any other way. We've heard many moms tell us how their kids change when they go to public school, and I love that our kids don't do that. They are free to be themselves.

Truth is, hubby and I hated public school and are so glad we don't have to put our kids through that too.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Colorado Springs on

People have given so many good answers! I can only offer a small experience . . . because of an impending move, and not wanting my son to switch schools, I homeschooled my 1st grader for 2 months. It was a great experience. We used the K12 curriculum through a local virtual academy. THAT part was awesome, because this virtual academy had an actual building, with groups, clubs, blended learning days, field trips, socials, etc. They really had the best of both worlds.
My son had been at our local school for Kindergarten the previous year and had an amazing experience. His teacher was phenomenal and he actually was reading at a 2nd grade level by the time he was done with K. His teacher had a way of teaching every child where they were at, while still challenging every child. This teacher was also very caring and also made learning fun for the kids.
All of that being said, when we made our move, I decided not to continue to homeschool (I never intended to continue it, but it was certainly an option). His new school is also amazing and by God's grace we've been paired with another wonderful teacher.
Having been on both sides, and seeing both sides work wonderfully, I have a few more thoughts: Public school is partly what you make of it. Public schools are not all alike. Yes, across America, it seems that public schools are failing our kids. Yet, I recently heard a report on NPR about how 80%(ish) parents are satisfied with their local public school. This is going to sound really selfish, but you don't need all of America's public schools for your kids, you just need one. If you feel, after careful examination and research and not just from rumors, that your local public school is not up to par, you do have options: free charter schools, another local public school outside of your neighborhood (they often can take out-of-neighborhood kids), and of course, homeschooling.
My sons new school was recently ranked the best school in all of southern Colorado. The principal is amazing, the teachers are bright, caring and I just can't say enough about them. I can't think of a "dud" in the whole school and I expect that our experience at this school will be wonderful for years to come. And, as always, part of that reason is that my son has 2 involved parents, who love learning, who have fostered a love of reading in the home and who not simply "let the school do it's job" without knowing exactly what is going on at the school.
My point in all of this? Homeschooling is great, as many other moms shared with you. But I wanted to offer you the other side of the story, a story that is often misrepresented, dismissed or clumped together in one sad tale of "America's Schools are Failing Our Kids". Our local public schools are NOT failing my child. And if I ever get to a point where I feel like they are, I will certainly homeschool. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boise on

We personally have decided that either our kids are in private school or they are home schooled. Since I no longer have a teaching job, due to huge changes and drop in enrollment, at my kids private school we couldn't afford to send them. So we started home-schooling using the K12 program IDVA which is free in the state of Idaho.
We Love it! I love the fact that my son, in 2nd grade, only has to go to school for 4.5 hours a day and I can choose the time and the days he goes. Also, they provide the computer, printer, and all the curriculum materials, including the hands on teaching tools. The only thing you have to provide is stuff around the house for science experiments and pencils and paper.
Another great thing I love is that their curriculum is advanced and my children can stay advanced and go on to the next grade level if either the curriculum is too easy or if they speed through the curriculum mastering it as they go. Also, if there is something I don't want my children to learn about, I can skip that lesson altogether and move on to the next lesson.

I love homeschooling because I can put my kids in activities that they love to do. For example my 7 and 5 year old boys are in Gymnastics and my 5 year old girl is in Ballet.

Hope this has helped :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I think in both Public and Homeschool situations, school is going to be what the child and you, the parents, make of it.

Your child can go to public school and if your child doesn't like the teacher, the school, the way the curriculum is or some of the other kids then he or she won't do well. And if you as a parent don't get involved then your child will fall through the cracks.

Same with homeschool. If your child doesn't like you teaching, the curriculum or if you as a parent don't get really involved then your child will also not get much out of it.

We homes school because it's the right thing for our family and my daughter. But no one can tell you what's right for you.

My daughter is benefitting immensely from it because she was failing public school. She needs one-on-one attention. I'm finding holes in her education and remedying them. We go at her pace. We follow her interests in some areas which makes it exciting. We also do lots of field trips so she gets a lot of hands-on experiences. We belong to a homeschool group so she has lots of opportunities to socialize with other home schooled kids. We do play days and also field trips. She has 3 close friends from homeschool group. She is also involved in all the activities that interest her so she has many friends from there. Don't let anyone scare you with the "socialization" argument. Again, socialization is going to be what YOU and YOUR CHILD make of it in both homeschool and public school.

We will NEVER regret not going to public school. My daughter is getting all the positive experiences that a public school would offer in a homeschool group environment and none of the bad. She has book club and astronomy outings, trips to the zoo and opportunities to volunteer at the animal shelter. When she gets older she will have the opportunity to go to homeschool dances and Prom. She does competitive dance, cheerleading and gymnastics through various other programs. She does not deal with bullies, kids who swear or act inappropriately, and in the future when she does have to deal with people like that, she will have a solid and mature foundation to draw on.

I think the best advice I can give is don't take any advice!!! Haha, I just gave you a lot of advice, but really, it's what YOU want, what YOUR family needs, what YOUR child wants and what YOU make of it. No matter what road you take (public or homeschool) if you stay involved and LISTEN to your child's needs, and see that they are being met, you can't go wrong.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Miami on

PROS - more one on one time, no crazy bully kids
Cons - Structure is hard to attain. They are not necessarly socialized to learn how to deal with the cray bullies.
Honestly I'd try school and see if she thrives if she is not doing well and you feel you can do better than take her out. My daughter goes to a montisorri school. Today she learned about the moon, planets, earth etc. Do you know she so enjoyed the class with her teacher that I got to sit and listen to her for about half hour telling me all she learned. She loved it and gobbled it up. I know I could not have taught her like that or gave her that excitement.. The Science teacher won hands down..

1 mom found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

Dear Mom,
H.,my answers to your questions:
1.First of all, the most important reason to home school, is YOUR reason(s) to home school your kids. I home school my kids for different important reasons: to give them a more complete education, to prepare them for college/university, to educate them academically and spiritually, to avoid nasty things that my kids don't need to learn at this point (they will learn those in the future, but they will be more mature and with a more solid foundation-sex, and nasty things related-politics, religion. We want as parents our kids to be honest, happy, healthy and responsible people, and now days what is happening is just not helping to our goals, and last but not least, my kid asked me to be home schooled and he loves it.
2.It has worked very well. It is not a perfect world, lots of changes from house cleaning, cooking,chores, errands, being mom, woman, to be a teacher and changes of schedules and even sleeping/me time...lol! There are good days (most of them!) but also so-so days (illness,funeral, crankiness,etc.) however the worst home school day,in my heart I think beats any other PS day.
3. YES, YES!!!!!! I home school 2 boys (5 and 11), I started about 3 years ago with the oldest. IEspecially for him it has been wonderful, he has a group of nice and real friends who call each other frequently, have sleepovers, fieldtrips, study together,play together. His friends are from PS , PS and home schoolers like him. He likes learning, he likes to find things tolearn and LOVES reading. He does schoolwork on his own without fight and he says that he feels "free" even when he has a scheduled but flexible curriculum and lots of material to cover. The little one learned to "study" (coloring,cutting and pasting, writing, and reading, etc) together with his brother while both are doing school, That's awesome for me! I could go on and on..sorry.
4. Oh NO AT ALL neither the kids....
5.More than information from others, you need to know very well what is what YOU want for your kids, for your family (I told you, there are lots of changes,some people can deal with them some others cannot, including the husband), your expectations and goals for them. You need to read about the HSLDA (Home School Legal defense Association) You start from there to know about your state regulations (attendance, hours, subjects etc.), and then find information about those many curricula (secular or eclectic) you will read about everywhere.There are many for you to choose according to what you want for your kids to learn, their learning style, flexibility, etc.
5. The cost depends on what you choose. Some curricula are free, and others you pay for it. I chose one from an accredited Catholic Day School (private) and I pay for all the textbooks, testing, and course plans. This is about $500. But you don't have to pay that,there are many, many options and you pay little or nothing.I just chose this one because I think it is the best for my kids and I have peace of mind.
We love home schooling, I see a great change in my kids. We spend lot of time together as a family and they learn not just academics but about life. It is flexible, we travel whenever and wherever we want and the kids learn so much about different cultures, cities, countries and people. I ask to my kid sometimes if he wants to come back to regular school and he says:"mom,noooo way!" Both of my kids go to different activities, P.E., boy scouts and sports.The little one is with me all the time but he has his friends, his pals,his playdates and I just have the blessing to have the kids around me..(Yes..it's hard...but I do have "me" time, and I have LOTS of things to do also.....but it's worth it!),,
***ONE MORE THING*** About that myth of socialization (it is always there because of lack of information)..it is just a MYTH. Don't be reluctant to home school because of this. As I shared with you, my kids have plenty of oportunities to make friends and learn social skills (even though this last one is better learned at home w/ CLOSE friends and relatives with different ages) There are lots of activities and sports out there (YMCA, recreation centers, home school groups, field trips,library time, etc) it doesn't have to be in your school district. Your kids have even the opportunity to have a graduation,a prom or whatever any other activity they wish or dream. Home schooling is just ANOTHER OPTION OF EDUCATION, if you want to do it right, it is a LOT of work but again, worth it!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pocatello on

I'm not a homeschooling mom, but I was a homeschooled child. In my case, it was a bad idea. I was doing very poorly in school (smart, but had ADD and no friends) so my mom took me out of school to homeschool me in the 6th grade. It was an on and off thing, I went back to public school for 7th and 8th grades and then homeschooled through high school. I appreciated being taken out of a miserable schooling experience, but at home I was basically taught nothing. I had to be the one responsible for my own education, and I had to fit it in with doing chores and taking care of (and teaching) my younger siblings. I really did miss out on a lot academically. I read all the time and I loved history, but I never did math or anything else "hard." When I was old enough to be a senior I took a GED prep class and then passed the GED test. But I felt a lot of shame over not having a real high school diploma. I now have an Associate's degree and I really loved college, (I had to take remedial math courses) I will go back to school as soon as my husband finishes his PhD and I hope to get a Master's in English someday. But I do wish that I had had the courage and dedication to stay in "real" school. I think that homeschooling can be great, but you have to work at it really hard and be super organized to do it right. I send my children to a high quality public school (there is a lot of variation among schools, make sure if you go that route that you get them in a good one). If they really had a need to be home schooled I would use one of the online curriculums that is free. I have heard good things about the K-12 online school, but it is not for me, not now anyway. Best of luck in whatever you decide!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Denver on

I don't home school so I can't offer specifics. I think there are many benefits but there are a few things your children may miss as well. In order to compensate from the lack of socialization, you should look into what your school district offers for home-schoolers. I know here the school district has a one day a week program.
Another option is to look at the resources provided by the library system. It seems like there are a lot of options to provide a combination with primarily home schooling and some large group activities.



answers from Provo on

This is a really personal decision. Kids can fall through the cracks everywhere -- home schooled or not. In the early grades, homeschooling might work great for you and your kids. But what they are missing out on is learning the social skills of interacting with people and situations that are different for them. They will grow up and have to live in a world where people don't share their beliefs, do and say things differently than their family, and see things completely differently. Being able to learn from all kinds of people and deal with all kinds of situations are one of the benefits of the public school system. For me, public school makes perfect sense because I am also concerned about how my kids will learn to interact with other people around them. At my kids' age I know I am perfectly capable of teaching them what they need to know and learn. But they go to a public charter school because I want them to have to learn to cope with the difficulties of life in a semi-sheltered environment. However, I am also heavily involved at school and I volunteer in the classroom to make sure that the dynamic is good and right for my son.
Participating in your child's education ensures the greatest option for success. Homeschooling is one way to do that. If you decide to homeschool, make sure they get ample opportunity to interact with kids outside your family, and realize that it may be a decision you need to revisit every year to make sure what you are doing fits best with each of your children.

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