True Test of a Lady

Since we focused on gentlemen in the last post, I figured it was only fair to focus on ladies this month.

One of my favorite groups of people to teach is teenagers.  They actually are usually the most reactive and most receptive to etiquette training.  They're on the brink of their careers, their lives, and most of them are eager to learn how to make the most of their future.  The trick is helping them to believe in what will truly make a difference in their future happiness and success.

Of course, proper etiquette, in my opinion, is absolutely key in this process.  Most girls and women I teach would love to be considered a true lady.

Here's a list of skills that are key in being a lady that everyone respects and admires:

► A lady is gracious at all times.  This means we show gratitude for all things, refraining from complaining and being negative.

►A lady is kind.  We strive to look for opportunities to serve and help others, always doing so with a cheerful attitude.

►A lady never gossips and refrains from speaking unkindly of others.  If what you're going to say to someone will cause that person to think less of the person you're speaking about, then don't say it.

► A lady keeps confidences.  She knows it's important to protect the confidences that others have entrusted to her, never sharing without one's permission.

► A lady dresses as a lady.  She always wants the attention to be on those she's with; therefore, she never dresses in a way that causes the attention of others to be on her.

► A lady knows when to speak and when not to.  As ladies, we pay close attention to conversation, being careful not to speak too long, too loud, or about topics that aren't relevant to the conversation.

► A lady is well educated.  All ladies should cherish learning and strive to be "lifelong" learners, never tiring of self improvement.

► A lady is a benefit to her society.  Ladies know that contributing to their society in even the smallest way is her duty and her honor.

► A lady accepts all.  Ladies know that every life deserves love, honor, and respect; therefore, she exemplifies one that looks upon the heart of a person, rather than skin, religion, or any other physical or social difference.

May we all strive to live up to the definition of a lady.  What a different world this would be.

All the best!

Monica Irvine

True Test of a Gentleman

Men, this one is for you.  Can you pass the gentleman test?

If your wife, co-workers, or children were asked if you were someone they would consider to be a gentleman, would they say yes?  Does it matter?

Statistics show that men who have more "gentleman" attributes get more respect from their peers, receive pay raises at a faster pace, and overall report to have healthier and happier relationships.  It matters.

See how you do with the following questions:

⇒Do I open the door for all ladies and my peers?

⇒Do I avoid speaking of offensive topics in the presence of ladies?

⇒Am I careful to never engage in any behavior that could be misconstrued as inappropriate?

⇒Do I always pay for the meals of those whom I invite to lunch or dinner?

⇒Do I dress in a way that shows I have respect for myself and others?

⇒Do I stand when a lady approaches or leaves my table?

⇒Do I only extend my hand to a lady once she extends her hand first during an introduction?

⇒Do I refrain from giving physical affection to ladies I'm in a casual relationship with unless I have their permission?

⇒Do I help all ladies in my presence with their coats, umbrellas, or any other item they need assistance with?

⇒Do I refrain from ever borrowing money from a lady?

⇒Do I keep my word, always returning items on time and always completing tasks when I have committed to completing them?

⇒Do I keep myself clean, always being mindful of my breath, body odor, and overall hygiene?

⇒Am I comfortable with making and keeping eye contact in all my conversations?

⇒Am I confident, kind and honest?

⇒Do I have polite table manners  Do I use them at all times?

If you answered yes to most of those questions, then you're a great example of a gentleman, and I'm sure you feel the benefits of being such in your life.

If you couldn't answer yes to many of those questions, may I suggest you call me?  We'll work on it!

Monica Irvine