Three years of my life that will forever light up the rest of it. I was normal once, destined to the path that so many before me had taken, ending up as normal, in normality. I am glad I found you. I am glad you found me. I am glad we were found by each other.

I am not sure how much I have been able to improve you, but as these three years culminate in this evening we have here before us now, I can only be overwhelmed by how much, how tremendously have you been present in me, affecting me, dragging me away from the normality of the normal. Thank you, for being.

I can see the flickering lights of the evening city, past you, vague, out of focus. I turn to another pair of lights, a pair of burning, sparkling, living light-scattering gems that are your eyes. I am going to miss your eyes. They are not exceptionally beautiful, you once told me. I agree. But you need to believe, you see, they contain and reflect three years of my life. I can see myself in those eyes, how I was born again and evolved and we evolved together. They tell a story that has reached its last chapter this evening, my love. It is waiting, counting the last minutes till it slips into the vast and dark realm of Past.

Let me speak my heart out in these ten minutes before I board my taxi for the airport. You have been my life, dear. I am going to miss you like a blinded person misses his eyes. Like a person in the hospital bed after an accident misses his limb. Like a dead person misses his life.

The clock is ticking. Why do you take so long to finish the drink? Can you hear my mind wanting to stop time and rewind to three years ago and hit play again, and do it again when it once again comes to an end, and again, and again, and again…

There is not much time left, and I am starting to have an odd feeling. You know how an athlete feels how he should have practised a bit more a minute after his run, how an actor feels he should revise his lines a minute before going onto stage? I know the next life is minutes away from now, and I feel we have not lived much together. There are so many things that occured in my mind, torn fragments of thought, so many things to tell you, so many little things to gift you, so many things to do with you, so many ways to tell you I love you. I can only hope you somehow understand it all, my love, I hope you know how much I love you, because I cannot say it all over again; there is no more time.

Kiss me now, and more than that, let me drown in your eyes for a few minutes, for the last time in my life. I am going to miss your eyes, your face, your odd ideas, your phone number on my caller ID, your voice, you.

Goodbye. I love you.


< this is based on pure fiction, born from the womb of my imagination with a few undertones of desire. There has been no girl like this, no three years, no airport, and no goodbye.>



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