Monday, June 18, 2012

What the hell?

So I'm back from my AP adventure, which I'll try to write about this week. I'm totally exhausted from the reading, constant activity, and the glasses of wine I drank Saturday night, meaning that either I'm getting older than I thought or the high altitude really does mess with your body.

In anticipation of that, however, here is my "shit that pissed me off" picture for the day:

This is from the July issue of Cosmopolitan. I usually enjoy this magazine, at least moderately, but this is over the top. While learning many useless sex tricks and looking at $7000 shoes that I should buy to be "sexy" vs. "skanky" is pretty harmless, and I don't think Cosmo is generally anti-feminist (in fact, I think admitting that women really like sex is pretty damn feminist) but this is crazy. So you should redecorate your apartment so you won't "freak him out"?!?! Beyond the fact that that lucite coffee table is awful (although the couch and bookshelves are very nice...) you shouldn't tailor YOUR OWN HOME for some man who may or may not visit it. Should you have walls covered in pictures of yourself? Probably no. Should you display all your stuffed animals, or have your doll collection facing the bed with their scary, scary eyes? Only if you never want houseguests. But there's a huge difference between not freaking people out with your collections/grossness/inability to pick up Diet Coke cans and decorating in a certain style to please a hypothetical man. "You don't have to avoid rosy colors altogether, just choose the right shade" and "Too many personal tchotchkes will make him feel like he's invading your space..." and "keep it from feeling to feminine by..." are all maybe great decorating advice, but, unless you're living with someone, this is your space. Don't compromise, ladies! Blush and bashful (or blue or green or purple or black or whatever!) is totally a decorating scheme!

(I do not get paid by cosmo or anyone else. I just get really mad sometimes at the assumption that women are either man hungry crazies who will buy new furniture to please men or we're all insane cat ladies who decorate in trinkets and cat plates, a la Professor Umbridge. Please don't sue/shun/throw things at me.)

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