Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Bonnie's Perspective on Glee 3x06: "Mash-Off"

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Everyone had their take on last week's episode. It hit home for a lot of people. It made other people think Santana was a bitch and deserved what she got. It made some people hate Finn and blame him for everything...

After a week of letting it sit in, breaking it down, thinking about it, and realizing not just the effect it had on me, but the effect that it could have on society as a whole. Now, take what I say with a grain of salt. I'm not here to convince anyone on how to think, I'm not here to argue with any differing perspectives, and I'm not here to say that this episode is going to (or has) change(ed) the world.

So, without further ado, here's what I thought about what I would say is one of the most heartfelt & heart-wrenching episodes of Glee yet - 3x06: "Mash-Off":

I heard a lot of discussion about last week's episode. I heard great things. I heard awful things. I heard things that made me happy. I heard things that made me sad. I heard things that make me angry. That's why I needed a week to sit on this and say what I want to say.

First of all, I don't want to beat around the bush. I'm straight. I have no idea what it would feel like to have to come out. I have no idea what it would feel like to be outed before you're ready. I have no idea what it's like to have to hide something like that from the people I love most. I have no idea.

To those people that have to, first I want to tell you that I admire you. And second I want to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the pressure society puts on people so that they cannot be themselves. I can't imagine what it would be like. And I think that sucks.

Second of all, I want to say that even though I am straight and I may not be able to empathize, I definitely can sympathize. Do I think Santana was right in her actions during the show? Not one bit. Do I think Finn had a right to out her? Not one bit. And you know what your mother used to tell you... "Two wrongs don't make a right".

So... in a very roundabout way, I'm telling you this:

1) I think that Santana was as raging of a bitch as we'd ever seen her.
2) I think Finn had a right to defend himself and fight back with Santana.
3) Finn was way out of line. WAY out of line.

This, coming from someone who can't empathize with what Santana felt. However, I do have to mention, I've stuck to my initial thought from the get-go. Since the episode aired my heart broke. I thought of all the LGBT people I know, and I do know a handful, and my heart immediately broke for them.

Never is it okay to be outed before you're ready. THAT changes your life. The moment someone comes "out of the closet" their life is flipped upside down. Their life will never be the same. If a person's not ready to handle that... if they're not equipped yet to handle it, at no fault of their own... if they can't face the pressures of family (especially conservative families), friends, and society as a whole, they have the right to stay in the closet for as long as they need.

(Again... this coming from someone who has no idea what it's like, these are just the feelings I have)

That said, I wish it were different. I wish people would understand. I wish people wouldn't judge. I wish that if someone likes people of the same sex it would be easy for him or her to say it. And say it proudly. Without judgement.

Unfortunately, that's not how our world works. That's why I think that anyone who wants to has the right to stay in the closet for as long as they want. Without judgement.

The last point I really want to make is though I think what Finn did was absolutely way out of line, I do think Santana was out of line. Calling people fat, calling people ugly, telling them they have no talent... That's something that can change a person's life, too.

That's why I think this episode, like many of the episodes that dealt with Kurt and Karofsky, were ground breaking- world changing, if you will. This is the type of thing high school kids face on a daily basis. It sickens me to think that any person could ever feel as low in their life as they could by being bullied -- to the point that they'd want to not go to school, hurt themselves, or even take their own life. Sadly, that's a reality for entirely too many people these days.

That's why I think it's important to let people know that they're not alone. And that no matter how bad things get, it will get better. And THAT is something with which I can empathize. Just know that it will get better.

Bullying is never okay. Both Finn and Santana were bullies. Both of their lives were affected, unfortunately one person's world was shattered in an instant, as we can see here:

Thanks for taking the time to read this long-winded post. I just felt like I had a lot to say about it. And maybe, just maybe, it offered a perspective you might not have heard.

I know I made my last point, but for anyone going through a hard time, I just want to say one more thing:

1) You're not alone, and we here at Troutymouth.com love you just as you are.
2) Here are a couple resources to possibly give you a little piece of mind, no matter how hard things are right now:

* The Trevor Project
* The Living Memoir
* S.A.F.E. Alternatives
* Childhelp
* National Domestic Violence Helpline
* Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network


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