Sunday, May 30, 2010

I think I ruptured my Achilles, at least partially, during a group fitness class yesterday. The doctor at the emergency room said he isn't sure it's ruptured or if it is ruptured, doesn't think it was a complete tear, since my foot moved when he squeezed the back of my leg??? This "squeeze test" didn't seem very scientific to me, but what do I know?

When he told me I had to wait till Tuesday, I asked him hard questions like, "Why can't I see the orthopedic surgeon today?" I wasn't rude to him, knowing that rudeness would grant me no favors and win me no friends. But, I did want to see if he'd give me a reasonable answer. He admitted it was partly because everyone was on vacation, but also told me that the "waiting and seeing" would "help them with the diagnosis." That didn't sound right, since everything I've read online says this injury needs to be dealt with right away. This "waiting and seeing" would really only be helpful if one thing were true, if I were just putting on, if I manufactured this injury so I could get some "time off."

He said, "If they unwrap your foot and it's better, then we will know it was just a pulled muscle." It's not just a pulled muscle. I think the muscle was pulled about five minutes before it ruptured. I explained to the doctor that I felt it get tight suddenly, but I kept exercising on it anyway. Then, during a set of sprints with an elastic band around my waist to hold me back for resistance, something made a large and echoing "Pop!" before my leg stopped working right and was too painful to stand on or move. Everyone I've talked to, including the doctors, say the "Pop!" is a real bad sign.

But, I realized two things while I was sitting there looking at this perfectly reasonable doctor. #1. Diagnosis is difficult work. Doctor's have to do a lot of calculated guessing. And, since he didn't know me and didn't know I wasn't the type to allow my leg to be put in a splint just for kicks, he didn't know I was trustworthy enough to call in the orthopedic surgeon from vacation at his beach house to fix my leg right away before this stay- at- home mom was made incapacitated for a few more days than is absolutely necessary... I have to walk with crutches, which means I can't carry my baby girl from place to place and kiss on her as we go. Believe it or not, that's the thing that is bothering me the most. I actually already miss the physical contact we get when I have to pick her up and carry her place to place.

And #2- I realized there was nothing I could do to make the doctor change his mind and make someone see me before Tuesday. So, therefore, I just gave up, realizing that if I try to fight the system, I'll just go mad. Note: It was the same feeling I get when I have to go to the doctor to get antibiotics for an infection I've had fifty times already. I know what's wrong with me... They know what's wrong with me... but we still have to play the game. I have to pack the kids up and drive and sit and wait to be seen for medicine we both already know I need.

So, for now, they've put my foot in a splint, one that is soft enough to allow my leg to swell, but hard enough to prevent it from moving, just in case it is as serious as I think it is.

And, I am waiting... until Tuesday.

Disclaimer: If this does turn out to be only a "pulled muscle," I'll be the first in line for my slice of humble pie. But, I'll let you know what the experts say... once they're back from vacation.

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