Can You Have A Baby Shower?

I have seen so many posts, forums, sites, etc.... all with the topic of baby showers. Apparently, it's a huge controversial topic when it comes to some people and showers for second, third, fourth babies. So many times I have logged onto places like The Bump, BabyCenter, CafeMom, and other places on the internet and see so many questions and topics pop up about this notion.

That has lead to this post. I have thought about my own opinion on baby showers for a baby after your first and I have been shocked that my opinion on it is in the minority group.

Researching what real people have commented and thought, most people say that it is rude to have a baby shower for any child after your first baby. That has been the number one comment I have read. Some people say you can bend the rules however if you are having a different gender or if the new baby is at least five years age gap from the first baby shower. Also, I have read that if you have moved and you are wanting to have a shower with all new friends or family that could never be at your first shower before, that is an acceptable rule breaker.

What are your thoughts? I did have a friend, some years ago, who invited me to all three of her baby showers. All of her children are ten months apart and are all girls. I went to the second baby shower of hers but it was hard trying to figure out what she needed since she had an infant girl already. But she registered for at least 100 items, all of which I had expected to her to have from her first baby {who at the time was 6 months old}. She said she gave it all away and so she needed more of. She later confessed to me after her third child was born that she just took the gifts from the baby shower back to the store to exchange them for makeup and video games so that's why she always asked for the same things over and over again that she should have already had.

I encountered a few snarky remarks myself when I had a shower for my son last year. Even though, according to the majority, I fell into the category of the "rules", I still got looked down on.

My second child was a different gender than my first and the age gap was over 6 years apart. So what was the big deal? I never thought we were going to get pregnant again so I donated all my daughter's baby items once we were sure there wouldn't be any more kids. So I needed to start over with everything. One co-worker of mine {who was an ex-best friend as well} seemed to give me hell about that. And no, she wasn't invited to the shower either then got mad she wasn't.... go figure!

Is it ok to have a shower for every baby? Some people say yes! They believe a shower is a celebration for each baby that doesn't have to be about gifts. But what if you knew someone who just had a baby and now pregnant again and their babies are going to be a year apart and they are asking for all the big baby stuff all over again? Do you judge them and think they are being rude? Or do you think they never had the stuff before and would like it the second time around? 

Do you get turned off by a big baby registry from someone who just had a baby? Or is it ok to register as if you are having your first baby? Have you ever not gone to a baby shower because of any of these things?

I do think that it varies of course. I just read about people normally have a "baby shower" for their first child and then what is known as a "baby sprinkle" for the other pregnancies. Where you don't bring gifts that have been registered for. Just simple things like diapers, wipes, or books that every baby needs.

For me personally, I like to have gender reveal parties. In my opinion, they are a lot more fun than just going to baby shower. Because it is something everyone can look forward to as far as what the baby is {since it hasn't been known before then}.

Now, I could go on to the topic of tacky baby showers...but I think that is a whole different topic. Did I tell you about the time I was invited to a baby shower and there was a cover fee of $20 just to attend the shower? Yea... let's save that story for a rainy day. Unless you want to hear it... I'll be glad to share it with you :)

Anyway....what's your take? Are baby showers ok regardless of the second + baby's gender, age gap, etc? Or do you think there should be limitations to having one? I'd love to hear thoughts on this.