The 1980s were a horrifying decade when snorting cocaine was an Olympic sport and wearing skinny ties and pastel jackets was a requirement at most dining establishments. Also Duran Duran was huge. HUGE! And the horrible decisions didn't end there.

Just The Facts

  1. The Taliban were our friends.
  2. Smoking in hospitals was still allowed.
  3. George W. Bush was a total fuck up.

The Trends


At some point during the 1980's, it was decided that shredding the guitar was for assholes. Anyone hoping to make music that really mattered needed to learn to rock the synthesizer. With this miracle machine, anyone who could play a few chords on the keyboard had all the skill sets needed to crank out music that wouldn't sound completely ridiculous and dated for at least another three to four years.

Unless you were Prince, who somehow managed to make the synthesizer sound timeless and awesome.

Bright Colors

You see that picture up there? Print it, save it to your hard drive, whatever. 50 years from now, show it to your grandkids and tell them that those two studs were on a television show together. Ask them what they think that show was about. If they say anything even kind of related to crime or police officers...kill them on the spot. They are time traveling cyborgs from the 80s.


The 1980s, when the men were men, the women were women, and men and women both looked like trashy street whores.

I Want My MTV

MTV, which once upon a time actually did mean Music Television, launched on August 1, 1981. The revolutionary format was dedicated solely to playing music videos with the occasional interruption by one of the many on air VJ's. So, it was like a radio station you could see, which was a wonderful thing until a Rod Stewart video came on.

The network kicked things off by playing "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles. They played their final music video fifteen minutes later and have been showing reruns of the Real World Road Rules Challenge on an infinite loop ever since.


Important Albums

L-R: Bruce Springsteen Born In the USA, REM Murmur, Prince Purple Rain, N.W.A. Straight Outta Compton

Important Movies

L-R: E.T., Raiders of the Lost Ark, Sixteen Candles, Batman