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Three Friends and a Rollercoaster

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Author's Note: Like Father and Daughter, this is a prompt for some OFF thing. By now, if you've been reading my dumb fanfics, you'd know most of the characters; however, a quick rundown is in order for a few others. Phillip is a character from Space Funeral - the game takes about an hour to beat, so if you have the spare time, go play it. Garry is from Ib and the Onis are from Ao Oni; neither of which should be played at night. Anyway, with that settled, please enjoy the story!


by HyperInuyasha

The Batter, Madotsuki, and Phillip were having a disappointing day at Zone 2's amusement park. Their visit to the balloon popping game ended in disaster when Phillip beat the Elsen on his first try; the Elsen immediately went Burnt and the Batter and Madotsuki had to put it down (Phillip sat on the sidelines, crying over the fact that the grand prize was a necktie). While the water ride was okay, it was mainly frustrating - rollers kept pushing them around in loops, which made it difficult to nab the free prizes set on the course. Worst of all was the lack of sugary and unhealthy carnival food - it was all confiscated after a scandal regarding the sugar in Zone 3 (something about it being made of dead bodies or whatever).

"C-Calm down!" Garry, macaroon enthusiast and employee of the park yelled over the screaming Elsens.

"T-There are specters in the park!"

"N-No more sugar!"

"An O-Oni cut in the line! He bears us much ill-will!"

"AAaaaaahhh, I'm screaming!"

The three friends just stood and watched as things went to shit. Madotsuki tugged at the Batter's tunic. "Shouldn't you be dealing with this...?"

"No specters, not my problem." The Batter answered bluntly; he found no problem with the mass hysteria, nor the giant blue monster that was cutting into lines and eating anyone that tries to stop him (which was probably why the Batter did nothing about it).

"G-Guys... this day sucks..." Phillip said, trying (unsuccessfully) to contain his tears.

"Well, there is one more attraction." Madotsuki coughed, pointing in the direction of the rollercoaster area.

The 'rollercoaster' proved to be a disappointment when they left the park's plaza. The rollercoaster was little more than rows of chairs affixed to the ground. The Elsens sitting in the chairs didn't seem to notice the difference, though, as they were freaking out as if they were on a real coaster.

"W-we paid 200 credits each for this? H-How horrible!" Phillip sunk to his knees and cried over the loss of his money. "Curse you Z-Zacharie! Wah!"

"At least it's calmer over here." Madotsuki noted. The panic here was much more reasonable and less nonsensical than what's going on in inside.

"All this adrenaline... I think I'm going to..." one of the Elsens sitting in the chairs threw up.

"...Relatively speaking."

"Right. Let's leave." The Batter said rather quickly, as if he wanted to get away from there as fast as possible. "Perhaps we could pressure Zacharie into giving us a refund..."

"...Hey..." Phillip looked up from the floor and saw what the Batter hoped they wouldn't see: a real rollercoaster towered over the rest of the park, its frame casting a shadow. How he and Madotsuki failed to notice it until now, they didn't know. "That looks like... sniff... fun."

"Oh. Well, it's a shame that it's closed. Let's go."

"...Hold on, remember that switch we found on the water ride?" Madotsuki questioned.

"Y-yes... oh right!" Phillip briefly left his depression to jump with joy. "That was for the rollercoaster, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, so the rollercoaster should be available to us."

"I-I'm not sure about this." the Batter stammered uncharacteristically.

Madotsuki looked at the man, a small, teasing smile on her face. "You're scared of rollercoasters, aren't you, Batter?"

"N-no. Don't be absurd. I fear nothing."

"Sounds like you're scared." Phillip said.

"Come on, Batter. We'll be with you. There's nothing to worry about." the girl said; truly, it is a sad day when a stoic man like the Batter was more afraid than a girl who has chronic nightmares and a man who is always depressed.

The Batter sighed. "Oh fine." He allowed himself to get dragged toward the rollercoaster. Said structure loomed over them, and to the Batter, it seemed to get higher as he was dragged closer. Madotsuki however was ecstatic and Phillip hoped that the ride would make him cry (with tears of joy).

Even though the place was previously closed, there was already somebody working at a stand at the rollercoaster's base - a friend of Madotsuki. "Oh hey, what's up, Maddy?"

"I'm fine." Madotsuki responded cautiously.

"Wh-Who is she? She seems... eep!" The blonde girl glanced at Phillip. "S-scary!"

"That's Urotsuki. You know, the crazy girl from the bowling tournament."

"I'm officially diagnosed as a psychopath, thank you very much." Urotsuki scoffed.

"...What are you doing here?" the brown-haired hikikomori questioned.

"I got a job here - pretty bitching job too. No damn Elsens bugging me or screaming their asses off. Anyway, my job is to give out complementary photos to anyone that rides the rollercoaster."

"Hmm. Sounds nice. What do you think, Ba-"

While the girls were talking, the Batter was sneaking away. Realizing that he was seen, he started to Run with Grace right the fuck out of there. Before he really got anywhere, though, Phillip pounced and grabbed his legs. "You're riding with us!"

"This is stupid! Unhand me!" the baseball player hissed.

"Don't be s-such a crybaby...!"

"Says the man that cries for every waking moment of his life."

That done it. The pajama-clad man clinging to the Batter looked up at him with sad eyes. Then, he let out a big wail as a flood of tears came out of him.

"Phillip, I-"




"...I'm sorry. I'll ride with you guys, is that alright?"

Phillip merely nodded, having lost the ability to form coherent words.

As the two came back (with the Batter just dragging Phillip across the ground), Urotsuki commented to Madotsuki, "Your friends are a bunch of pussies."

"You've never seen the Batter when he's angry." Madotsuki replied in a vague manner, shuddering a little.

"H-help!" a voice shouted from the park's plaza. Garry came out, flapping his arms all over the place. "Urotsuki, get your chainsaw! Some of the Elsens are turning into Burnts!"

"Oh hell yes!" Urotsuki jumped out of the stand and brandished a chainsaw. "Why don't you guys ride the rollercoaster while I take care of the problem?"

"But I need to help." the Batter stated, seeing this as an excuse to get out of his predicament. "It is my sacred duty to purify the specters."

The man around his legs tightened his grip and whined, "B-But you p-promised..."


"Right. You customers have fun while we... no!" Garry screamed at something that was going on indoors. "Bad Oni! Don't eat the corpses and turn them into more Onis, that's disgusting!" He and Urotsuki ran inside to handle the situation, leaving the Batter, Madotsuki, and Phillip alone to continue their quest for fun.

"Come on. If we don't enjoy ourselves, then this would have been a waste of money." Madotsuki murmured as she started up the stairs that led up to the start of the rollercoaster track. The Batter, although reluctant, couldn't really argue with that logic. The trio of friends ascended the stairs (Phillip had let go of the Batter's leg, as he realized that getting dragged up the stairs was painful), the ground below them getting farther and farther away. Eventually, they reached the platform at the top: it was mainly sparse, save for a lone rollercoaster car and a statue of Zacharie.

After giving the statue a kick (and stubbing his toe), Phillip suggested, "Let's a-all sit in the front together."

"No! But..." the Batter gulped and swallowed his fear. "...Okay."

They made him sit in the farthest side seat, so that there would be no way for him to escape. Madotsuki sat in the middle right next to the Batter and Phillip seated next to her. Zacharie's signature chuckle came from speakers that were imbedded in the statue. "Keep your seatbelts on, vaguely heroic protagonistic friends, and enjoy the ride! Please remember not to kick any statues next time!"

The car started to lurch forward, rollers bringing the occupants closer to thrilling enjoyment. Madotsuki, although a bit scared of the height, couldn't wait for the car to roll down. The Batter closed his eyes, gritting his teeth to brace it. Phillip was already crying with excitement.

The ride reached the point before it dropped. Phillip looked to his right at the others. "This is the part where we raise our arms.. right?"

"Yes, we should totally do that." Madotsuki agreed, eagerly putting her arms in the air.

The Batter did the same, keeping his eyes closed.

Then came the plunge.

Screaming, laughing, and crying radiated from the car as it went on its voyage downward. Wind hit the three as they descended to Earth, shooting down at high speeds like a shooting star. After twenty seconds of dropping, the car reached the lowest point of the tracks, momentum carrying it forward. The speed of the ride gradually lessened until it lurched to a stop at the shack at the bottom. Phillip lumbered out, water of happiness on his face. Madotsuki jumped out, the thrill and excitement of the ride having made her cheerful. The Batter crawled out and promptly threw up in the plastic ponds.

"D-don't look at me.. I feel... hurk..." he threw up again. "...impure..."

While Phillip looked after him, Madotsuki went to the stand; Urotsuki was back (covered in blood), holding a photo. "Here's your photo, Maddy! Have a nice day... or not!"

Madotsuki looked at the photo. 'Memories of the Park' adorned the corner of the nice scene: the three friends had their arms in the air, smiling and laughing.

All of them.

"You enjoyed the ride, didn't you?" Madotsuki shoved the photo in the Batter's face, showing off his terrified enjoyment.

"Urk.. admittedly, I did. I feel rather uncomfortable though..." the Batter muttered.

"Come on up." Phillip picked him up and supported one shoulder, Madotsuki supporting the other.

"Let's go home. We can eat at the Sugar Hole for dinner." Madotsuki said sweetly.

"Sweets... not made of Elsen flesh? ...That would be nice." the Batter admitted.

The three slowly walked into the park's indoor plaza. There were less Elsens than before, and there were a few Onis talking to Garry.

", absolutely not!" the purple-haired man said. "You can eat the bodies, but don't start a fire to cook them indoors..."

Our protagonists regarded the situation with indifference as they left. "Are we coming back here? This place is sort of..." Phillip said, lingering on the last word.

"Weird?" Madotsuki finished.



"Seconded." the Batter groaned. "I feel sickened just being here."

"...The rollercoaster was nice though." Madotsuki commented brightly.

"Yep." Phillip said.

"...Yeah." the Batter agreed.

The End