﻿Why am I responsible for mom in hospital? - AgingCare.com

they are telling me that I am responsible for her and they will most likely be calling me in the middle of the night to get her. I am ill, as is my husband and I sleep with bipap machine and sleeping pill. I'm also caring for my husband who has muscular dystrophy and severe breathing problems. I was told she is my responsibility. How is this so? I'm in Indiana. Please help with info.

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No, you are not responsible for her. I recently had the same problem with my mom. The hospital wanted me ((or another family member) to stay with my mother as she was giving the staff a difficult time. She was suffering the effects of anethesia and had a UTI. As I am an only child and no other family, I could not stay round the clock. The doctor should order a hospital caregiver to stay with her. Insurance covers this cost if the doctor orders help.
Helpful Answer (5)

I am in Health Care in Indianapolis, IN. Message me if you need some help, I will help you if I can.

If the hospital needs additional help for a patient, they are to hire that help via a CNA or a priviate company to come and sit with her. My mother was combative at times when she had UTI's. I would stay with her as to not bother the hospital's. One night the doctor came in and kicked me out and said they have someone coming in to stay with mom so I could go home and rest.! It was an amazing relief. This was at Clarian North in Carmel. Do not let the hospital bully you, if your mother needs to be in the hospital then THEY are in charge of her care and well being.,

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Thats a medical facilities biggest thing they always say they are short thats code for we dnt want to take care of your love one, now not all med. facilities are like that but thats what they usually say cause they dnt want to take the time to do it. i was one of the lucky ones my dad was cool in the hospital, ut my mom whooooh!! she was a different story so we let the hospital know so we took turns going up there but the hospital told us there was no need they will keep a eye on mom whether they were short or not but i still went up and stayed with her..but what im saying they are responsilble regardless
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You are not responsible for her. I went through this with my sister. She had
some dementia before she passed away. The girl would take all her clothes off
throw the sheets on the floor, and scream at the top of her lungs. It sounds funny but trust me IT IS NOT. I would get calls almost every night. I told them to get a hospital caregiver to come in and I would see them in the morning. Wanda
Helpful Answer (1)

I'm in Indiana too. About a year and half ago mom got the flu (she has lived with me 7-9 yrs now) Diahrriah all over the white carpet with UTI. They admitted her and UIT's can make you wacky. They called me and wanted me to come sit with her all night because they were short staffed. I was so mad...I had to stay home that night and scrub and scrub the carpet. Needless to say first thing in the morning they called and released her. She was still sick.
They said if you don't come we'll have to hire a caregiver. And I asked, If I come do you not charge her for services. No answer. That is what they are paid to do.
She had other times they refused to admit her. She is not a problem at all. She still lives with me. Her main problem is a messed up back.
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I agree with all of the above answers. I also work for a NH in California, The NH or regular Hospital for that matter will provide a sitter. You just need to say no. Tell them they need to find a sitter as you are unable to do this. Go to the admistrator or the DON if staff keeps it up.
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She is under their care now you are not responile for her actions...what place do you got her in that tells you that? i have never heard of that. they are supposed to have trained staff to deal with that type of situation.. I am a C.N.A and do you know how many times i have been hit, kick called a bunch of dirty names if thats the case alot of elderies would e going home and nursing homes would be out of business
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Tell them "NO" you are NOT coming to the facility to babysit NOR pick up your Mom.
Tell them in a nutshell, that you are physically unable to do that.
Their game is to limit costs to facility by pressuring family and friends to come in to do care. They are also trying to protect staff from physically combative patients. But they have methods and resources you lack!
They might also threaten to discharge her....
THEY CAN'T--because that constitutes "patient abandonment".
The trick is having your relative already admitted into a facility.
...only if she is not already in one, and they get wind of a behavior problem, they can refuse to take her in.
I was told by several agencies and social workers, that my Mom's behaviors would likely get her kicked out of assisted living facilities. I stupidly suckered for that.
She was not admitted into anyplace, and by telling Social Workers that she had behavior issues, it probably helped block her entry into a facility.
BUT, when she had a health emergency and got admitted to the hospital, I tried to get them to evaluate her mental health, and then get her moved to a facility
...only she was able to buffalo her way thru that process good enough they thought she was OK in the head.
Plus, my siblings were deliberately blocking the hospital finding out about her mental ills and habits--out of spite, I can only guess.
So we were stuck bringing her home.
Kinda like possession is 9/10 of the law....
Your Mom is in a facility.
They started treating her, they must continue, or else find her a suitable facility to continue her care at necessary levels, like a SNF or Assisted Living.
IF she has been living in your home, they CANNOT force you to take her back.
IF you have been caring for her --in her own home--, you might still be entitled to keep living in it, depending on how long you have been caring for her, and other details, even though she is in extended care facility.
Check with Social Services through the Welfare System near you, or with legal council; they likely have lists of resources and can point you in constructive ways.
Just please do not allow that facility to guilt-trip you into taking her out of that facility on your own. That is just wrong!
I dearly hope you find the right council and solutions!
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