

Friday, February 09, 2018

The woman who got her second chance

Gorgeous Flower Bouquet from House of Botanics, newcastle upon tyne florist, mandy charlton, photographer, writer, blogger
Each year, around this time, I write a yearly Valentines post which makes me either seem like the most romantic person in the whole world or the most disappointedly disenchanted person, sometimes it's a mix of both.  I guess part of me is always alarmed that we as a society choose to commercialise that which is the most perfect thing in life and then the other part of me, quite rightly thinks, "A day celebrating love with chocolates and heart shaped baked goods, what's not to love, we need to do this more often".

I'd like to state now for the record that I am one of those creative people, if you didn't know that, welcome, you're clearly new around here.  Creative people tend to be the dreamers, the hopers, the romantics.  We need to be, there needs to be people who truly see the beauty the world, people who find magic in the tiniest details, people who believe that anything is possible as long as you want it enough.

I am guilty of all of the above and my life is proof that it's actually true, I believed and so I did.  I haven't blogged for a couple of days because I'm working on things, I'm working to change some direction, I always want to do what I do but I want to keep evolving and discovering new things and I want to focus and grow in new and exciting areas.

Let me tell you that now, as I sit here, late at night, I have everything, I am the woman who got a second chance, I am the one who held out and hoped and dreamt even in the darkest times and now I am content and fulfilled and have a life I love, a career I adore and most of all, I am surrounded by the most special people, positive people who give me life and make me want to be the best person I could possibly be.

I want to give an example about finding pleasure in the smallest of things. You see, if you ask any of my closest friends they will tell you that I am a bit of a tea and coffee snob, I have a waterbar that dispenses the perfect temperature of water, it's triple filtered so it makes the best coffee and tea, I grind my own beans and I drink loose leaf tea although I won't say no to a good silk pyramid teabag.  Coffee and Kin are a local company forged with love and I'm head over heels about their coffee, I've taken to mixing beans from Guatemala and beans from El Salvador to create my own blend of the most special coffee, I like to add double cream which makes the most amazing coffee, small pleasures which starts every day with a friendly wake up.

My point here is that if I can find pleasure in tea or coffee then surely I can find pleasure in everything and really, I can, no matter how many times I see squirrels in the parks around where I live, I still shout "Squirrel" and smile at them.  No matter how many times I see dogs out on walkies going past me, I still say hello to them and not to their owners.  No matter how many times I go for walks with the sun on my face it always feels magical like the first time I've felt it.

By loving the minutia in our lives it's easier to be completely rocked by the big things, happiness becomes a way of life and when the dark days try to invade, they're easier to fight and overcome.  I saw my therapist last week and she's ready to release me, I've asked for the next two sessions to still go ahead though, just in case.  But you know, I think I might have truly cracked it this time, I've learnt that by going the extra mile in everything I do it brings rewards and more fulfilment.

My heart is so full because every aspect of my life has fallen into place so this Valentines Day I don't really mind what happens because I know that true happiness is about something much deeper, although I don't mind at all if I receive a heart shaped cookie, it would be rude to refuse now, wouldn't it?

This post would not have been possible without Coffee and Kin who sent me beans which I accidentally mixed and then discovered that I'd just made the best and most heavenly blend in the whole of the universe.

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