October 3, 2016

Top Knots & Sweatpants: 14 Reasons Why You NEED Coffee

Top Knots & Sweatpants: 14 Reasons Why You NEED Coffee

  1. To get through morning traffic. If one more idiot in a Mercedes cuts me off and then lays on their horn as me, I might be investigated for a homicide.
2. To sit through children’s movies. I’m fortunate enough to not have to do this yet as Cooper has about a 4 minute attention span, but my nephew loves to watch the same movies over and over (the joy of being 3 years old). If we have to watch Finding Nemo or Big Hero 6 one more time, I may begin to lie and start pouring vodka in my coffee cups.

3. To answer another “Why” question. A part two to the children’s movies, my nephew also plays 500 questions with me when I visit. Where is Uncle Tim? Where is Cooper? Why is Tim at work? Why does Cooper make that noise? Why are you wearing green? Was that pimple on your chin 6 months ago when I saw you then? Seriously. Caffeine me.

4. To sit through a pointless meeting. What I’ve learned about Corporate, America is they love to have meetings for the sake of having a meeting and to feel important. I’ve literally been invited to meetings before where I had to ask if I could leave because I had nothing to contribute and the conversation had zero to do with my job. For some reason, we feel like the only way to get things done is to have a meeting and get everyone and their mother’s opinion before actually executing something.

5. To look super basic holding a cup of Starbucks with your top knot and shades on. If you have a cup of coffee and a top knot, you can make the grundgiest sweats look chic.

6. To get you through the home stretch of your work day. I usually always go out around 2/3pm for an afternoon pick me up. And it just makes the day more bearable.

7. To listen to your husband’s shitty jokes. If we have to get up really early and Tim is super tired but knows he has to stay awake, he will NOT shut up because it keeps him alert. Unfortunately for me, my ears pay the price.

8. To catch that one show you are glued to but comes on way past your bedtime. And even though we have DVR, there is something more exciting about catching it on live TV.

9. To survive the mornings your kid decides 4am is when they are starting their day today. My poor Keurig is about to shit the bed from using it so much on these days.

10. To drink alongside your water at breakfast with your girlfriends and children. Because moms don’t brunch, we breakfast.

11. To take fancy Instagram photos of the leaf shaped foam on your latte. And to hashtag “#caffeineaddict #coffeelover #sotired #eyeroll”

12. To hold in your free hand so you don’t have to awkwardly shake someone’s sweaty palm.

13. To take photos of yourself while you watch the DIY Network on a Sunday. Guilty!

14. To enjoy the spring and fall weather on your front porch in a cozy sweater. My favorite part of the season!

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