Tag Archives: Women Issues

Is it okay to sexually harass a woman if she is dressed in revealing clothes?

When a female reporter from Mexico’s TV Azteca stepped into the New York Jets locker room wearing tight jeans and a ‘boob revealing’ blouse, she reopened the argument of whether the way a woman dresses can ever mean she is ‘asking for’ certain consequences. The reporter, Ines Sainz, interviewed quarterback Mark Sanchez and later tweeted that she was ‘dying of embarrassment,’ but made no complaint to the team. But others did complain.

This reporter is known for wearing sexually revealing clothing and the network she works for doesn’t seem to have a problem with her attire since she is shown on their website wearing sexy clothes. She also went on different TV shows to discuss the incident wearing a revealing black blouse.

Both sides of the issue have strong arguments. One side saying that dressing provocatively will incite provocative behavior, and dressing like a professional will ensure receiving professional attention. The other side argues that blaming the attire one wears is blaming the victim, which justifies sexual assault, and by asking a woman to dress less revealing could lead to women being required to wear burqas to keep them safe from sexual assault.

I don’t know how to solve this problem as a whole, but I know how to prevent women from being sexually assaulted in a men’s locker room—stay out of the locker room! And interview the athlete after he is dressed. I never understood why any reporter, male or female, has to go into the locker room to interview an athlete while the athlete is half naked. That creates an embarrassing situation for everyone. All reporters should be banned from locker rooms. A locker room is not a professional setting—there are men walking around naked. How can business be conducted in that kind of atmosphere? I doubt I could concentrate on a serious interview with a man in a towel with his ‘dingle’ hanging out.

What do you think? Was this reporter asking to be sexually harassed by wearing sexy clothes or should women be able to dress sexy without being harassed by men?


Kelley Heckart

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For some, spring’s song is the sound of a harsh battle horn, for others, new love, for all—certain danger.

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Women Issues : Sex, Suppression, & Orgasms

What do you call a woman who loves sex and enjoys it with different partners?

A slut.

What do you call men who love sex and has a different lover nearly every night?

A player.

And what do we think of players?

So many, including young men, aspire to be them.

Well we are bringing an end to such gibberish now. What do you say?


Long ago in Ancient times, having sexual encounters with a woman meant that the man was experiencing a spiritual act of love with the goddess herself. And women were taught wondrous arts of how to obtain orgasms, which would also awaken her senses and bring her closer to the divine forces of her Great Mother. In fact, in many cultures, an orgasm was one of the greatest of powers and forms of divination.

In ancient Egypt, women and men had trial marriages where the woman would live with the man and ‘try him out’ to see if relations with him and a living arrangement suited her.

And in the earliest of cultures we had Sacred Prostitutes who were great priestess, well kept in temples…and through them a man or woman could discover unimaginable divinities.

And then one day…a woman’s sexual freedoms became eternal damnation and myth. And this horrible thing happened:

According to JAMA (the Journal of the American Medical Association), 43 percent of American women suffer from some form of “Female Sexual Dysfunction”–often placing the blame on themselves for their inability to reach orgasm. SOURCE

Yes, hard to believe but somehow, someway, we women, FORGOT how to get off!

And men stopped worrying about it unless it made them feel less than a man—in which case—he blamed us.

And what is worse….we began blaming ourselves.

What? What happened to us?


Why the big difference between men and women? Is it various religions that has dug a sexually suppressed grave for our ladies and buried them in it? How come people think sex is more important to men? How come women need to lie or hide the fact that they have been with more than one man while men get to brag and flaunt every woman they have scored with? How come our own sisters will crucify us, call us sluts, whores, and ho’s if we desire more than one man?

But more importantly…..with all of our medical knowledge, how come its only been the span of a generation since the medical community have even and finally discovered that yes…women can have an orgasm to?

How come indeed?

That was yesterday….and today is a new day. While the answers above may never be answered nor matter anymore….today women can bust out of their ruts and have a sexual awakening. No longer is she expected to lay there, but rather take her lover by the hair and tell HIM what she likes and what she wants.

Now we know that virtually any woman can climax – and indeed have multiple climaxes – if the circumstances of her life are right. And these circumstances usually include having a caring, understanding partner who is knowledgeable about sex, and who uses that knowledge to help her relax and to reach orgasm. Source

I would like to draw your attention to the article above at this web site. If you do not like that one, then by the Gods, just Google Women and Orgasms and you will find a whole slew of places to explore.  The one I have listed is my favorite, though, and seems to have a little of everything.

Why bother?

Because in order for women to understand their sexuality, they need to understand how their bodies work. And men…if you are worthy lovers and wish the ultimate sexual experience…you will explore these sites and learn as well.


Because by understanding our bodies we can achieve all the blessings that come with them. And I am not sure if men realize this….but when your woman doesn’t have to fake it…the experience is ten times better than the usual automatic climaxes your body just seems to shoot off.

Health Benefits?

I believe that possibly some of  the reasons women are suffering from obesity– caused by stress and poor metabolism, high blood pressure, tension (migraines), insomnia, depression, and who KNOWS what else, is because we ladies have stopped getting our GROOVE on. Maybe why we crave junk food or binge eat is because we are not having our needed dose of orgasms. We can’t sleep even though we pop pills because why? Because our body lacks the natural tranquilizer it produces during climax.  Am I nuts?

No, I am a woman discovering and figuring these things out same as you. But thanks to those doing research and studies…other people got a clue long before I did.

And no, this isn’t going to be a one problem solved kind of thing especially if your just not in the ‘mood’. This again falls in line with the article I posted earlier titled Women Issues:Asserting Your Power .

While there are other issues in a woman’s life to get right….SEX should not be forgotten. If you can not get comfortable with your lover to climax with him or her (just yet)…then go please yourself. There are tons of toys and aids you can order secretly online to be delivered to your house without ANYONE knowing.

We are leaving the darkness of an Age where women drudge through this world never knowing a true orgasm and suffering the illnesses—mentally and physically from that. Today, we leave behind the old mentality of sluts, whores, or scarlet women and the many other horrid names we label our sisters with—> just because they have attempted to know their own sexuality.

Sites like the one I listed above will explain all sorts of  ways and facts.

So I say ladies, you are no longer suppressed. Go on out there and have your lovers…and bed them well…and teach them how to bed YOU well.

But here’s hoping you find a man that wanted to learn on his own….and off he went to educate himself. *winks*

C.H. Scarlett

Women Issues:Asserting Your Power

Tammy used to work at Wal-Mart. It wasn’t a glamorous job but it was HER job–with great friends and a life of her own. After Tammy and John married, she became pregnant. And after awhile, she became pregnant again. She really wasn’t depressed about the second baby because the first baby was great. And when she and John needed alone time, a relative was always more than happy to babysit.

However, when the second baby came, Tammy and John realized that the child care ate up their pay checks and it would be better if Tammy stayed home.  This had tons of benefits, after all, Tammy felt bad letting day care have her child so much. And at first, Tammy was excited, but then slowly afterwards….something started to happen.

Tammy became depressed. It seemed like the walls of the home started to close in on her. When she worked at Wal-Mart, yes, some days it seemed insanely annoying but at least she was able to leave after an 8 hour shift.

Now…this job never ended. She woke up in the mornings only to move from one room to the other. Her biggest conversation was with a two year old. Her greatest adventure—changing nasty diapers and scoring the crayons out of the pockets before they landed in the dryer.

Oh, she would take the babies to the park or call her friends on the phone but it wasn’t the same as it had been before. Her girl friends didn’t have children and were able to spend entire days shopping or doing whatever they pleased.  They invited Tammy out for drinks but who would watch the kids? Her relatives, nor in-laws were willing to watch TWO children…not the way they were more than willing to watch the first.


And John…Tammy slowly, without meaning to began to resent John. He went to work…and yes, he worked hard but he at least got two days off. When did she get a day off? She had to care for the children 24-7. She had to give up her hobbies but John seemed to keep his without a worry or care of who would watch the kids. Who would watch them was never an issue with John because TAMMY would do it…right? When he wanted to play golf on Saturdays, he got up and played Golf. When he wanted to do poker with the guys on Thursdays…he left to go play poker. When he wanted to have a BBQ with his family, he just invited them over even though Tammy was the one that had to run through the house,cleaning and putting an extra shine on things, and then had to FIX the food, get everything ready, be the perfect host, and so on.

Why, Tammy can’t even leave the house the way John does. John showers and gets ready….when Tammy has to shower, get ready and then bathe the kids and get them ready. So yes…Tammy begins to resent John and it even affects their sex life, which in turn makes him resent her. Why to Tammy….sex might even suddenly seem like another chore…another task slammed on her list. She is too tired, too drained emotionally…she is dying inside. And John is becoming even more unhappy because he doesn’t understand…and why should he get yelled at for going with his brothers to play golf…or if he works longer hours….or….


This sort of thing happens to women every single day and hardly anyone takes it seriously. The more Tammy resents John…the more she regrets becoming a mother….the worse she feels.

So how can it be fixed?


The answer is simple but for every relationship it will have to be customized for each life style and situation.


In Tammy’s life, though, she does a flip and balance type of thing…

For every hobby John has, Tammy gets one. Even if she just runs off to the gym, or goes to the park or library…however many places john goes while she watched the kids…she gets to go while HE watched the kids. So, if John plays golf on Saturdays then on Sunday, Tammy gets to go play around with her girl friends or whatever she wants to do. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY—John helps Tammy find a sitter so that they can both go out on a DATE once a week.

Soon, after this becomes a habit…things become normal again. Tammy is happier, John is happier. Everything works itself out. And its all because Tammy learned to assert her power—she took her life back and made herself an equal to John.


Having children, being married, being in a relationship period is a 50/50 thing. Women can still be women and men can still be men but when you take on another person, you take on responsibilities. It took two people to have a child and it takes two people to be happy in a marriage. While women become the rock that keeps the home strong…you also have to be the rock that keeps yourself strong. So assert power….balance.

Women Issues: Why Resolutions Never Work!

Who is tired of Resolutions? They were meant to be a positive goal when facing a New Year but somewhere along the way they have become our prison sentence. They have become just one more thing that we ‘fail’ at…breaking us down, making us feel worse about ourselves.

So many people will chuck the whole resolution thing….and therefore we go into the New Year with nothing more on our mind but a soft prayer, hoping things will be better.

No more!

I say we bring the Resolutions BACK! But we are going to throw a Pagan spin on them that you can do whether you’re Pagan or not. It’s easy and it’s three steps.

First off, Resolutions NEVER work because we’re never realistic about them. We put ourselves behind bars so to speak denying ourselves this or that for whatever reason. We might jot down what we want to happen in the New Year but do we ever make a plan as to how we’re going to get it? No. We kind of forget that part don’t we?

So we need a plan and we need to be prepared. We need to be responsible for what we want and realize that WE are the ones who will make it happen. So how do we begin making a plan? That’s the next part….

Secondly, give up the impossible.

If you want to quit smoking, great. If you want to go on a diet, great. But if you are going by someone else’s plan, then that’s the impossible. You need a plan customized for YOU and then, you need to KNOW Yourself. That’s right…you need to know that you are strong, and you need to know your patience and their limits, and you need to believe in what you’re capable of.

So make a plan…make one that is realistic and is customized for you.

For example: Instead of trying to lose 100 pounds and suffering through a Diet that in reality is impossible, why not go for a better lifestyle that won’t make you into a binge eater? Attempt a better lifestyle but one more suited around ‘your world.

For instance, maybe try to eat healthier 6 days a week and if you go the whole 6 days, give yourself a day of rest…a day to eat anything you want. I’m sorry, but if you lost 10 pounds, you are not going to gain it back in one day. And eventually, on that seventh day, you will find yourself eating less and less of the bad stuff you’re awarding yourself with. Or ditch the 6 days and go for 2 days a week. Start small. What’s the rush? If a bad habit isn’t hard to start then a change of life shouldn’t be either. So stop making it hard on yourself.

Want to quit smoking? Well it can be done even though that’s a whole ‘nother article. (I am living proof). Be realistic about the smoking though, which is why I am saving it for another article since how I went about it is rather vast in info.

Regardless, this brings us to the third step…

After you make a plan….stick to it…..even if you fall off the wagon….just get back on it.

Ladies, you can do this…you can make ANYTHING happen. Believe IN YOU.


1. Be Realistic and be you!

2. Make a plan that revolves around you and your world.

3. Stick to it no matter how many times you have to start over.

Now what was the Paganism side to all this? Being you, realizing you can do anything, taking responsibility for what you want and taking control over it so YOU can make it happen. And then not giving up if you mess up….just doing it all again.

You say you’re not Pagan but you believe in that? Well as I said any Pagan or non-Pagan can do this….now get out there and make life happen!

Women Issues: How to Fight Depression Without Prescriptions

We live in a pharmaceutical age. Go to the doctor with a pain in the neck and you will leave with fifty bottles of pills. Now, while I am not telling everyone out there to avoid your doctors and or medication, I am wondering if there is another solution to something that seems to plague everyone (for some weird reason).


Women seem to suffer the worst of all problems and when women are in tuned with their gifts, because we live in a world that denies them and refuses to help us master them, our problems really sore off the charts.

Now, I won’t say that depression doesn’t exist but maybe the reason we can’t get rid of it, is because we don’t understand what’s causing it. And maybe we can’t stop the cause because the causes are many.

For example…

When does the Depression hit you? Is it when you are near, on, or after your moon?

If so, could the problem be hormonal or a side effect of having your period? If that’s the case then you can take measures to lessen it’s effects when your period comes. I, for instance, just go on vacation lol. I stop working on my manuscripts, let the house go if I need to, and just start being a kid with my kids. I take long baths in the evenings, light candles, meditate. Sometimes I have a damn good cry.


Are you an Empath?

This maybe why Depression hits you out of the blue. After all, if you are going along having the best of days or weeks and then BAM! A sudden dread just falls over you, then maybe its someone else’s energy mucking you up. Also, if you are an Empath, which most women are and don’t know it, maybe the depression is actually the cure to what your body needs. What happens when you become depressed? Do you cry a lot or do you murk around not having the will or happiness for anything until finally the dams break and then you have one hell of a good cry? Crying has healing properties and that my friends is medically proven. But what happens to an Empath when she cries? If its a damn good bawling, the next day the depression seems listed. So to an Empath, crying is Nature’s tool of washing away all the muck that is clogging up our sensors.

Empaths should also watch computers. There is one theory that the net is this huge web of energy constantly coming, going, and changing. When Empaths spend too much time on a computer, they end up sponging it up. Empaths need a change of scenery. They need new horizons. So taking a brisk walk or running out to the store, or playing with the dogs and spending more time with your animals helps a lot.

What makes you happy?

My crazy Aunt Joyce fought depression and at times, she seemed like she was really losing it by some of the things she did, but now I know, it was just her attempt of healing herself.

Music made her happy. So she would play songs that she loved to dance to and then, she would get up and dance around. She would be giddy after swirling about to that 80’s song Gloria and for some reason, that one song really lifted her up.

Just getting up and raising her adrenaline was what did it. When we get active with something that we truly enjoy, that doesn’t seem like work, our spirits will raise.

I had a friend who fought depression every day of her life. When I told her to sit down and figure out what she really loved doing and then get out there and do it…the depression ended. She loved animals, so now she works for a small zoo. She has to drive a good ways to get there but guess what, its worth it for her and she hasn’t been on medication since.

So maybe its a life change you are needing which is sometimes the hardest of things to do. If you can’t change your job then you need to add something extra to your life to make the job worth it. Start taking an entire day or a few hours just for yourself—away from your normal environment, away from the kids, husband, friends. And you don’t need money for this….drive to the park, sit on the bench…take a back road…get lost. And stay away from people who emotionally drain you.

If you are doing something you love…for instance, I’m a writer. Sometimes perfecting my trade or being around the business end of writing drags me down. So, I walk away from writing groups, my blogs, other writers, and the business side of it. I get back to the basics….pull out a pad and scribble stories down. Or I turn the computer off entirely and take a break from writing and everything. Sometimes even what you love to do….you need a vacation from…even if that vacation is once a month. Why? because writing and whatever else you love is time consuming. We spend a lot of time doing it. We deserve time off… more so because it has devoured our life lol.

Also look into vitamins, changing the way you eat even if its 2 nights a week to begin with. Do you hate exorcise? Well i sure as hell do but like my crazy Aunt, i love to dance. Everyone has something that they love that gives their bones some activity….we just forget to make time for it.


Remember, to find a cure…find the problem and sometimes the problem has more than one source. With the right mindset and determination…you can do this. Why? because you were not born with depression…its something that infected you over a long period of time. And like any infection, you can stomp it out and get rid of it. or at least recognize the reason its happening when it does, and then bring an end to it!


Update: I almost forgot something….if it is hormonal, then you may want to do what i said above, and change what you are eating, at least a few nights a week—particularly meat. I don’t know if any of you have noticed but the meats bought in stores are often tainted and pumped up with so many hormones anymore, it isn’t funny. My best friend, when she went to a doctor concerning her hormones, he confirmed this and told her to back off eating so much meat. I began to notice that certain meats in the store look very glossy and slick. When you get them home, they are very shiny and even the taste, well it just tastes different.

Now i am not saying flip into the side of Vegan….but be more particular as to what you are putting in you. Then see if it brings any change.

What ‘THEY’ Don’t Want Women To Know. The ‘REAL’ Secret!

 *Whispers*— Psssst, hey sister, I have a secret…sh-sh-sh, it’s what ‘THEY’ don’t want you to know.

What’s my secret? Something you forgot…something that THEY made you forget….and its simple….

The secret is….

You’re beautiful. No matter what size, shape, and style…you are perfect exactly the way you are. The secret is THEY wanted you to forget that. Why? Because THEY forgot and after THEY forgot, it made them miserable to see you shine so. The only thing THEY could do was to break you down, rip your true place in the world away, belittle you, beat you, abuse you, and then make you feel that your curves, your hair, your talents, your dreams, your goals, your laughter wasn’t worth seeing, hearing, or believing in. THEY wanted you to forget your own sexuality and how enchanting and bewitching you are. THEY wanted you to forget because THEY were frightened that THEY would be attracted to you…or would feel small compared to you because THEY made themselves small or someone else did. THEY thought by denying their own charms in shame, THEY could force you to do the same. And in their shame, THEY wanted you to forget that you are as divine, as spiritual, and as eternal and timeless as the Goddess herself…that you are a Goddess…not only made of her image but also of her divinity. Yes, THEY wanted you to forget how beautiful you are and how priceless you are so that you wouldn’t remember your strengths. So that you wouldn’t take your self-esteem with you as you travel through this world…because THEY wanted you weak and dependant…THEY wanted you like THEM.


So that is the secret….of who you are and what you are…the only thing that is left, is to know your enemies by their name…and to recognize them by their faces. In order to do that, you must realize who THEY are.

THEY are the ones who have broken you, who have shattered you, who sought to destroy your dreams and your many lights and colors. THEY are the cruel voice that called you names, that snickered when you walked into the room, that laughed behind your back. THEY are the ones that made you feel less than what you are even though you are more than what our eyes can ever behold. THEY are the ones that put you in the corner, tossed you in the back room, pushed you out of the line and light, and knocked you back a few steps. THEY are the ones who force our fashion, muck up our media, control our magazines with what THEY want us to believe a woman is. But THEY no longer have that power do THEY?

And why is that?

Because you know their secret and once a secret is known, it’s power is lost. You know your true worth. You know that you can carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and then some. You know that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You know that you don’t NEED anyone to love you nor do you have to lower your standards to receive false love because YOU LOVE YOURSELF!

You are the mother, the friend, the sister, the volunteer worker, the do gooder who moves through the shadows, the Crone and wise woman, the survivor, the healer…you are everything and everyone!

No longer can THEY make a victim out of you and no longer do THEY have power for you now know the secret and who you truly are…a beacon in the night.

Now stop compromising, stop rolling over and stop turning the other cheek after its been bruised. Get up, walk out, know you are a powerhouse of beauty that no model on any magazine will EVER compare to. You don’t have to starve yourself to fit into that dress! YOU don’t have to take his crap hoping he will realize how golden you are for loving him so…YOU don’t have to worry about being alone nor do you have to worry about being weak ever again!

Because you’re you…you’re perfect…you’re the Goddess…and you deserve to be treated that way.

But THEY never will treat you that way  unless you learn to realize and believe it yourself…unless you take the power from them….unless you rise up and do what you were made to do…

Now stop hiding yourself….your dreams are waiting…and there are no more secrets holding you back! It’s time to shine. and it’s time to make a new future for ourselves and our sons and daughters!