Maiden name dilemma

Hello all,

I got married in late January, and since then have been in the process of getting both my status and my husband's status updated at the Caisse Primaire d'Assurance Maladie. Since at the moment I am a vacataire at a language school, I do not have enough hours to be on my account so we did the paperwork to get me "rattaché" to his account.

Day 1: both of us went to the CPAM office, turned in the paperwork personally, asked if they needed to keep my old Carte Vitale and/or needed pictures (for both they said no, but keep reading). Then they made me sign "epoux ***" even though I explained that I did not change my name. Was told it was just for the "rattachement".

7 weeks later: get a letter in the mail with my "maiden name" completely misspelled and where I was now Madame *** asking me to mail them my old Carte Vitale. We write a letter asking to please rectify the spelling of my real name, and to leave it as it is on the card to avoid any kind of "identity misunderstandings" (if my name appears one way on passports, for example, but not on the Carte Vitale, I'm not sure if this is really life or death, but in my family I've seen how name differences can cause serious problems for my mother (American) married to my father (Mexican) in Mexico).

2 weeks after that: another letter, again to Madame ***, asking for a picture and to verify that all the info is correct, where my "nom de naissance" is finally spelled right, but my "nom d'usage" is still my husband's name.

Has anyone had any experience dealing with this? Tradition vs keeping your own name? Advice?

My husband helped me by calling them today to explain yet again what the issue was, and he was told that we should write another letter with the picture that needs to be sent, but that in their system if I am "rattache" to his file, it's just going to have to be that way. I find this difficult to accept and am aggravated by it, so I want to know if it's worth my time or energy to deal with this or just let it be and try not to take it personally.

Advice? Help?

I was never asked to change my name nor did I sign on any notarized document officially changing my name, and I was always told it was optional. However, the tradition of adopting the husband's name is still very strong (it's the same story in Mexico, where I grew up and watched my mother go through the same prejudices and stereotypes and misunderstandings), and I guess I just thought it would be different by now...

Yes, as one notaire explained to me - they use generally the maiden name on official documents since: you may may change your husband, but you will always have the name you were born with.

Others will know more than me, especially Brian. In Ireland, your name does not legally change when you get married, but it has been custom for so many years to change to your husband's name that many think it is a legal change. Not sure what the position is in France.

My wife kept her name. It is an Italian name, my own is Scots. She had no problems in the UK, in her native Switzerland, Portugal whilst we were there and only a few bureaucrats guessing wrong that we are not married here. Our children have both names which gives them a very long family name but hard luck everybody. Both children are on my Carte Vitale. End of story as far as we are concerned - our reason is sometimes asked and given. My wife has books and articles that give her an academic reputation that she would lose and need to have started over again if she had changed and given the option for me to have changed by deed poll there was no way because I have published under my name for many more years than her. Whenever we have to explain it is almost immediately accepted. So, if you want to keep your name you can do so and people making difficulties may go ****.