Friday, March 13, 2020

Dealing With Toxic People

Some of the most powerful mirrors in our lives are relationships.  When we experience ourselves through relationships over time, we absorb that experience.  What we call the "self" is continually constructed, continually shaped by our social experience.  I am not the same person that married my wife 36 years ago.  I've absorbed aspects of her values, personality, and mindset and I'm better off for that experience.

Not all relationships are positive mirrors.  Some are downright toxic.  Among those are:

*  People who want to use you for their own agendas;
*  People who reach out to you to hear about the bad things that have happened to you;
*  People who cannot share your happiness or success;
*  People who are so dependent upon you that you cannot depend upon them.

Those are the dead plants in your life garden. 

My favorite strategy is to share some piece of joy with another person and see how they respond.  People who want the best for you will celebrate with you.  People who don't want the best for you...crickets.  No celebration.  

In a good relationship, your partner wants you to grow.  In a toxic relationship, growth is a threat.

Water your garden often.  Remove all dead plants and replant.  It's a great strategy for fulfillment in life.

Further Readings: