How Do You Wrangle a Moose? | Questions You Didn’t Ask

Today I’m going to attempt an answer the question you never knew you didn’t know: How do you wrangle a moose?

How do you wrangle a moose

How do you wrangle a moose?

Don’t worry I have an answer for you. But first, we need a good definition of wrangle.

Here are the options.

  1. brawl
  2. quarrel; dispute
  3. herd and care for
  4. haggle; bargain

I think most of us would agree option three is the winner, but you may want to hold off on your vote for a second. Or not, whatever.

After many (too many) hour of reading weird and wacky moose stories I’ve decided to highlight two stories out of Newfoundland.

The first is a bit dated, from 2002, about a town pranking conservation officers to prevent their beloved pet moose from being removed from town. His name was Jack.

I’ve been searching for an update, but to no avail. Is Jack still romancing the town each afternoon? Did the conservation officers eventually prevail? The suspense is nearly too much to bear—where is the made-for-TV movie? Enough with the historical drama, CBC! On to Jack!

The second is the same story, different ending. Oh, and no pranking. This time, Sir Conservation Officer prevailed. Yes, he successfully wrangled le moose and sent him back to the forest.

I liked the second article better than the first because there is a bit of a Q and A at the end, teaching us all how to wrangle a moose (OK they call it “become more moose-aware”) for the next time Jack, or whomever, decides to take a stroll through town.

Unfortunately, the officer’s answers are decidedly vague. So I’ve decided to figure it out for you. Yes, I will make good on answering the question you never knew you didn’t know and probably have never wondered. How do you wrangle a moose?

But until then, here are some preliminary thoughts about moose visits to residential areas. There seem to be some misconceptions about moose.

For argument’s sake, let’s blame the bad rep on Bullwinkle

  1. Here’s the cold, hard truth. I don’t know if this is just in Newfoundland or what: moose are not cuddly and they do not make good pets
  2. Moose are terribly awkward and shy animals. They get stressed easily and don’t like to be cornered, separated from their young, or told what to do (kind of like me in an alternate reality where my young are my knitted projects). Therefore, if you see a moose, and want to get a photo of said moose, don’t get out of your car. Seriously
  3. A moose’s antlers can weigh somewhere between 50 and 85 pounds. And he will probably ram you with them. But did you know moose are even more dexterous with their hooves? If you approach a stressed moose to feed, pet, or photograph him, there’s a good chance he will ram you. Will his hooves

Spoiler: I never did figure out moose wrangling but I did uncover the complex world of ice wrangling. So that’s something.

Other moose-related articles

How do you wrangle a moose? First of all, we need a good definition of wrangle. Options: brawl, quarrel; dispute, herd, haggle; bargain. Thoughts?



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About Robyn Roste
