Students who skip Homecoming have alternatives for an unforgettable night

By Carly Harsha | Opinion Editor

Some students would rather buy 42 crunchy tacos from Taco Bell than spend the $50 it costs to bring a date to Homecoming. For the average $250 spent on attire, one could buy 82 chicken sandwiches from Chick-fil-a. The mums that girls wear nowadays can cost upwards of $120, which could get you 20 chicken bowls from Chipotle.

So, besides eating, what can you do instead of going to Homecoming?

1. Watch all six seasons of Lost on Netflix. When you’re done with that, watch all of Breaking Bad. If your brain doesn’t feel like it might jump straight out of your head, continue with Dexter. Yes, it might take you more than one night. This will alter your entire life, and this will change you in general for the better.

2. Go to Walmart with a friend and make it your mission to get kicked out. Slow dance in the electronics section to a screamo song. Ask a worker where their My Little Pony section is. When you get there, demand that they play with you. Don’t accept no as an answer.

3. Fill your car with a full tank of gas and grab a friend or two. Flip a coin to decide who will drive, and then pick a direction. Drive in that direction until you’re either out of gas or you see things you’ve never seen before and meet people completely unlike you. Learn something. Will you end up in Mexico? Canada? Cuba? Who knows.

4. Gather a bunch of wood. Go full lumberjack and cut down an entire tree if you’re so inclined. Gather some people and make a bonfire. Party like it’s 2009. Marshmallows, fireworks, and bug spray are all advised. Try not to get third-degree burns, but if you do, use aloe.

5. Buy Powerpuff Girls costumes. Crash people’s afterparties, run through movie theaters, go anywhere there are a lot of people. Ask people if they have seen Mojo Jojo or Him, proclaiming that you’re out to save the City of Townsville. It’s practically Halloween, so this isn’t weird.

If you make the right decision and embark on any or all of these endeavors, you will not regret it. In 20 years you’ll remember that crazy night you had in high school.

Categories: Opinion

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