Understanding Word Salad


What is word salad?

Why do narcissists use it?

What does it sound like?

How do you deal with it?


Toss the word salad here

6 thoughts on “Understanding Word Salad

  1. clearwatercreek says:

    Thank you so much! The article is very helpful for me to understand better what happened to me and how I tried to react to that… of course with no successs…. He very often used word salad for several hours prefering the late evening and night. I felt unable to escape the situation and leave the flat because I didn’t want to leave our very little child sleeping in the next room. I was in a trap.

  2. WhereisGod says:

    I….Love…YOU ….H.G. This one is SOOOOOOO right on time. I was victimized by word salad earlier and found myself drifting back to the old bewildered, deer caught in the headlights behavior. I have caught myself.

  3. JenniferJ says:

    Great advice. And the last point about eating steak instead of salad made me laugh 🙂
    There really is no way to win one of these word salad arguments. My mother engaged in them often when I was young and it was infuriating. I ended up screaming at her in frustration.
    I now know how much fuel that must have given her. To me it was painful and nervewracking, but to her it was like a sport. She intentionally guided a conversation towards it and relished the outcome.
    These kinds of people really do have serious mental flaws.

  4. Bubbles🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    We have a current friend who plays word games over text .. I am sooo onto it!
    My narc friend played the word salad game with me so much so, he would’ve been “peeing his pants” with excitement for all the added fuel I was giving him!
    Mr Tudor, I don’t know you and we’ve never met, but, you are the one and only person in my life who has taught me more about people than anyone else. I’m so much more aware of conversations and what is being said .. I look, I listen, I’m learning! Why is it that some people I come across, its like “deja vu” …. it was like that with my narc friend? Is this a common thing with narcs and empaths ?

    This is a bloody good article for us … thank you

  5. Mb says:

    How I wish I had this years ago! Enlightening! I engaged with N he drained my life force with years of this and Perfect Sense. He ended each long fruitless conversation by acting like I was to blame for the deterioration . Idiot empath gave and gave and gave years of my life energy love compassion tenacity loyalty into the pit . God it hurt . Thx HG this and Perfect sense are so spot on.

  6. Bibi says:

    “Eat some steak instead. It is tasty.”

    HG you’re so funny.

    You not only described it perfectly, but you got our side so well. OMG, my Mid Range narc experience was ALL about word salad! I didn’t know there was a term for it, but I kept thinking, ‘Circular arguments that lead nowhere and have no resolution.’

    Since he was so secretive and evasive with me, I was much of the time left guessing what he was feeling or thinking. This gave him a feeling of superiority/control and fuel at the fact that he knew I spent so much time wondering/guessing.

    Such as, I would say, ‘Ok, the reason you feel such and such is because…’ then he would interrupt me and say, ‘You don’t know what I feel.’

    ‘Ok, so you think so and so is like this because…’ Interruption: ‘You don’t know what I think.’

    Me: ‘So what DO you think and feel then? Please tell me. I want to know. I am willing to listen.’

    Him: ‘ I don’t like you presuming what I think and feel.’

    Me: ‘But I am asking you to explain so I don’t have to presume.’

    Him: ‘I just thought you would understand. I guess I was wrong about you.’

    Me: ‘How can I understand when you won’t tell me the problem?’

    Him: ‘I can’t trust you with that information.’

    Me: ‘When will this phase end?’

    Him: ‘It angers me that you call it a phase.’

    Me: ‘What would you call it then?’

    Him: ‘You just need to accept me for the way I am.’

    Sound familiar, anyone? I found an old email and pretty much just relayed the back and forth shit.



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Understanding Word Salad