A serious case of the flew

J: I just got back from Wisconsin and I think I got the flu.

C: Oh nos! Not the flu! And just after you flew, too. 😦

J: But my superior immune system will kill any flu!

C: Here’s a picture of you with the flew:


J: Peter Pan is dead. Long live J-Pan! I guess that’s the silver lining of getting the flu. I become the new Peter Pan.

C: Ru-fi-o, Ru-fi-o, Ruuu-fi-O!

Sleep tight!

C: So last night I had a dream where I was doing something and then it was really hot. I laid down on the floor and started to evaporate. I have to say, the feeling of evaporating is very weird—it’s like floating and flying and also having your whole body come apart at once. It kind of freaked me out and then I woke up ’cause I had to pee.

I told Argon about it and he suggested I had that dream because I sleep with close to 2,000 blankies on me.

J: You do sleep with too many blankets.

C: Well, I need them in order to maintain a temperature just below that of liquid hot magma while I sleep. If I don’t maintain that, I’ll start to solidify.

J: I always suspected that you were secretly a boiling pit of lava.

C: Um, lava and magma are totally different things thankyouverymuch.

J: You sleep with too many blankets.

C: You can pry my blankets from my cold, dead….uh…hmmm… Actually, my hands are really cold right now.

Finally, a comfortable sleeping temperature.

The Hungry Hungry Hippo Games

C: I might even rewatch The Big Lebowski

J: Oh good. Keep at it and you you’ll only be a decade behind pop culture.

C: Thanks. Your endless support is invaluable. And I’m going to see the Hungry Hungry Hippo Games tomorrow.

J: Hunger Games is lame.

C: You’re lame!

J: I watched it online; it’s lame.

C: That’s even lamer. I’m still going to watch it.

J: I didn’t say you shouldn’t, I’m just trying to save you money and a couple hours of your life.

C: I want to see it.

J: Correction: You think you want to see it. You are only going to be disappointed.

C: I don’t have high expectations. Also, I know how it ends. I only wish there were spoilers for NFL games.

J: You know the ending?

C: Yes. Her sister dies. She kills Coin.

J: There are spoilers for every sporting event. It’s called not watching it live.

C: Then I guess I’m glad we beat the Patriots?!

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On Wednesdays, we burrito

C: On Wednesdays, we burrito. Did you burrito ?

J: I did not burrito yesterday. You cannot make me be a veggie! Take your soylent green somewhere else, sister! I have character and sand. My values and morals do not change with the wind. I cannot be bought off with a burrito.
rabble rabble rabble

C: You could have at least tried it. Sheesh.

You have character and sand? What does that even mean? I have sand too, but it’s in my sand jar and some in a ziplock baggie, and it’s not anything I brag about. Maybe you need to get that sand out of your vag, then you wouldn’t be such a cranky-pants.
Maybe you can’t be bought off with a burrito, but I know you can be bought off with two or more burritos.
Besides, it if was soylent green, I wouldn’t be making you a veggie. You’d still be eating meat–granted, it’d be people, but it’s still meat.
I secretly want to actually make you a cannibal. Or at least a little bit of a nibbling cannibal…

J: Two or more burritos is a different story. Every man has a weakness and ALL soy is people! It’s PEOPLE, Claudia, PEOPLE!!!

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On Tuesdays, we llama

C: Since it’s Tuesday, are you llama-ing? Because on Tuesdays, we llama.

J: Glad you didn’t get me a shirt with pink words on it. Also, are they stealing OUR use of llama? …and they treating it like it’s “smurf“?! Or is there a group of people out there, now with tee shirts, who have created an activity called llama, or llama-ing?


C: Why no pink? Are you discriminating against pink? What do you have against pink? Husband would wear pink…
I don’t think they’re stealing our use of llama. I think it has to do with drama llamas. So maybe more like “smurf” than TeamLllama©

J: WTF is a drama llama?!

And it’s not JUST the color pink, but words in the color of pink. I mean, who does that? That’s like saying “Would you like to read something that’s going to hurt your eyes and be difficult to read? Great! Here’s a tee-shirt.”

C: On a black background, pink is perfectly legible.
According to urban Dictionary, a drama llama is: A person who randomly throws their drama on others, in the same way a llama randomly spits.
“Oh no, here comes the drama llama! I haven’t finished cleaning up from the last time she spit drama on me!”

J: I don’t appreciate how the urban dictionary is disparaging llamas

Star Trek

J: I just don’t understand why you suddenly like Star Trek. Why now? What changed?


J: I mean, I can take things not so seriously sometimes.

C: I will say some of the concepts are intriguing. Also, I watch for Wil Wheaton’s sweaters.
Are we fighting about this?

J: I’m not trying to fight with you. I’m just not sure how much consideration you’ve given to telling the person you’ve yelled at before about not wanting to watch Star Trek that you’re now watching Star Trek, you know?

C: I’ll watch it if it’s on when I visit [boyfriend’s]. I’m not gonna walk into a situation where two people are watching a show they like and say that either they change the show or I’m leaving. The situation is completely different than with you. Besides, we never had yelling fights about not watching Star Trek, you know.







J: …see, stuff like this, like the person who just started watching one Star Trek show, telling someone who has watch them all, that they didn’t even watch Star Trek…

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The right to bare arms


C: I support MY RIGHT to arm bears!





J: I just saw two squirrels having sex.

C: Were they using a condom?

J: A bare skin condom.

C: So that’s why we have so many squirrels.

Worst Roommate Ever: The Sequels









C: They were? Bastards!


How aliens get dates: Ice cream.


C: Making all of us fat!


C: Does ’til death do we part apply?

J: No.

C: Figures.

J: It’s a ghost chair.

C: I know. How’d it die?

J: That’s the prequel!




Ghost chair.

C: You’re still not saying how the chair died.



C: Um…wow.

Nebraskan Christian Radio






J: A little bit. She was laughing at me listening to it. It was pretty ridiculous. It went like: “God is called excellent; therefore, God is excellent.” That logic alone is evidently enough for some people.

C: Evidently. The circular logic is astounding.



C: Who’s the terrorist organization claiming credit?




C: The people the sharks attacked didn’t even die.


C:  ConfusedFace

Needs more pizzazz. No, more pizzas.

C: Am I pretentious?


C: Like, in general. About grammar.




More pizzas or more pizzazz?
Why can’t we have both.

J: Copy editor: You’re not using that word correctly.

Writer: I need something with a little more pizzas.
Copy editor: You mean pizzazz.
Writer: No. I mean pizzas.

C: Too many adjectives! Show, don’t tell.


C: My feelings on poetry haven’t changed. :/

J: Says the person whose default disagrees with the Stini.

C: What does that have to do with anything?

J: You probably do like poetry but are too stubborn.

C: I’m not stubborn!

Heeeere fishy fish…

whiterabbitJ: I have the foo chu fou shoo. 😦



C: Hm, interesting… Is food related?


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Beware the puddles: Part 2


“GOTCHA!” ~the puddle

J: The damn puddles!




J: Got my shoes and socks pretty good.

C: What did you do to the puddles?




C: The half-frozen ones go froooosh and splooobt.


Beware the puddles: Part 1


Sharks in our puddles! Beware!









J: …

All the nuance of Meh.

Phenomehnal = an event where someone’s mehness makes other people suffer.
Phenomehna = the event which triggered a bout of mehs.
Also, I just saw a cat on a leash.

C: Meh.

Too sexy?


Sexy toothbrush time.






C: I think so. Seems legit.

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On the campaign trail


One tough cookie. The biscotti this country needs.



C: It’s MY slogan. I’M the tough cookie!


C: I will soak you in coffee!



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All at once…





J: Not periods at once. Babies at once.



We Need A Boat


Rough idea of the kind of boat we might want.

J: We need a boat.



C: Sandwiches!


C: Good point. Could be a financial loss scenario.

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