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Asexual People Share Which Things They Wish Everyone Understood About Their Sexuality

The Feels

Definition wise, asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others...

But there is so much more to asexuality than what the internet says. While not many people identify as asexual, they certainly do exist, and their sexuality is often misunderstood by uninformed, non-asexual people.

Redditor u/QuirkyPheasant wanted to hear from asexuals themselves, when they asked, "What's something you would like people to know about asexuality?"

10. Romance isn't just about sexual activity

"That a nonsexual romantic relationship isn't just a 'close friendship'. I've heard it from one too many people and it seems really damaging and reductive to me to claim that all of the emotional intimacy and closeness involved in a relationship is entirely predicated on sexual activity. There's a whole set of experiences involved in being a romantic relationship that aren't sexual, and it makes me wonder if people who say that see their partner as anything more than just a sexual outlet. It just doesn't compute to me."


9. They can fall in love

"Just because I'm asexual, doesn't mean I can't love someone. I very much do develop romantic feelings towards other people, I just don't desire the sexual elements.

Asexuals and aromantics are two different things, but not mutually exclusive"


8. They find people attractive

"'I thought you were asexual' was something I heard a lot from my family when I got into my last relationship. Just because we are asexual does not mean we can't find people attractive or be in relationships!!"


7. They are "queer enough"


"I just want the LGBT community to stop hating us. That's all. We get constantly erased for not being queer enough, I've had 'friends' tell me that I'm not invited or welcome at pride parades because I have nothing to be proud about. For a community that calls itself inclusive, it certainly does hate asexuals (and non-binary and transgender people)."


6. Sexual attraction seems silly on tv

"I honestly used to think that sexual attraction was a myth and that everyone was just pretending to have it because they'd seen it on TV. I thought most people I knew were obnoxious morons with terrible decision-making skills because they kept pursuing sex and romance instead of doing productive things. When I finally found out what asexuality was, I felt like such a jerk."


5. Seduction looks cringey

"Watching people be 'sexy' is really awkward and sometimes makes me cringe. I feel like they're faking it because i cant fathom what it feels like."


4. Asexuality is a spectrum

"There is a spectrum, some asexuals are sex repulsed, some enjoy sex. The common denominator is that asexuals feel no sexual attraction."


3. Objectification doesn't work or make sense

"It wasn't until recently that someone told me the reason why they put attractive women in commercials drinking beer and whatnot is because people get aroused watching those commercials. I had no idea and always thought of them as objectifying/pointless."


2. It's not an illness

"Stop trying to 'diagnose' us. Asexuality is not an illness that needs medication or therapy to 'correct.' We just view sex differently, that's it."


1. You might not know that your partner is asexual 

"That we can be really fantastic, loyal, funny, creative, warm, loving partners. And that a surprisingly large number of us have sex just to please our partner. So, you'd never actually know."


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