Every Leader Needs Some Narcissism, So How Do We Know When It Turns Dangerous?

Sadly, Donald Trump’s presidency has brought the personality trait of narcissism into every day conversation.  

Narcissism is not necessarily a bad thing. There’s a concept psychoanalysts talk about called healthy narcissism. This describes an inner sense that you matter, you have something to offer, people should take you seriously, you have the capacity to create and build important things. At its most basic level, healthy narcissism provides the energy that inspires us to take a shower, brush our teeth, fix our hair and dress in clothes that present well. If we didn't want to look good, why bother.

Leaders  need an even higher dose of healthy narcissism to lead because they  take things a step further. A leader has to feel this deep inside: “Not only should I be taken seriously and respectfully out in the world, but my ideas and strengths are such that I can and should be given responsibility for the fate of institutions and the people who depend on them."

But. There can be too much of a good thing. Excessive narcissism in a leader has the potential to be extremely dangerous, turning into what some call malignant narcissism. Political leaders are case studies both of the need for narcissism to function in their role and also the dangers it can present. 

As with so much else that’s human, the personality trait of narcissism is spread across a continuum—from not enough at one end, to healthy narcissism in the middle, to malignant narcissism at the other extreme.

There are two challenges in leader assessment regarding the personality trait of narcissism. Let’s say you’re considering entering into a partnership with someone. Or you are part of a board search committee looking for a new organizational president or CEO. Or, you’re a voter considering what candidate to support. 

The first challenge is to differentiate between healthy narcissism and narcissism that’s going to be a detriment to the leader’s capacity to function—but falls short of being dangerous. Keep in mind that narcissism is a personality trait, meaning it’s embedded in an individual’s personality. Don’t expect change. If they showed problematic narcissistic behavior in a previous position, it’s expectable that it will recur in every work environment. 

The second challenge is to identify dangerous narcissism. It’s a good idea to take a pass on such individuals – they simply cannot be good leaders or collaborators. However, this type of person can be extremely charismatic and exciting, and it’s often tempting to make excuses for their alarming behavior. This potentially dangerous charisma plays a big role in politics.

Distinguishing Healthy Narcissism from moderately Problematic Narcissism

Here are some clues to identifying a moderate problem with narcissism in a leader:

  1. Never takes responsibility for mistakes or problems.
  2. Emphasizes his specialness.
  3. Treats people poorly or acts as if they are invisible—observe how he interacts with waiters, admins, doormen.
  4. Gets defensive about negative feedback.
  5. Tries to impress you rather than showing interest.
  6. Lacks a range of interests and activities.
  7. Has “a guy” everywhere – thinks he has special connections at the car dealer, in the parking lot, at a restaurant.
  8.  Doesn’t ask you any questions about you.

How to detect dangerous levels of narcissism

At this end of the spectrum, the narcissism is not an aspect of the person’s personality, it is the core organizing principle for who they are—the prime mover for all their actions, the only thing that matters.

Last Friday a group of four pundits were discussing Donald Trump’s surprise phone call with Vladimir Putin on MSNBC's The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell. They were puzzling over Trump’s motivation in failing to confront Putin about Russia’s interference in the 2016 elections? The Washington Post’s Eugene Robinson spoke last and said this:

"One thing we have to consider is all of you may be making too much sense. You may be being far too logical about this. What we have to take into account when we talk about President Trump is not just his venality, and his ignorance, and all the other things that make him unfit but also his massive narcissism. At some level, I think he probably understands full well that Vladimir Putin’s massive interference in the election quite likely put him over the top. And I think he cannot admit that. He cannot stand to have that talked about, to acknowledge it publicly, he certainly can’t acknowledge it to Putin."

If Robinson’s speculation is correct, he is indeed describing a critically dangerous level of narcissism. He is also emphasizing that it operates on an unconscious level and that it is utterly irrational. What he is saying is this leader’s inability to tolerate acknowledging, even to himself, parts of reality that make him look bad make him highly exploitable and prevent him from taking or allowing any measures to be taken that would control Russia’s election interference in the future. All because it would make him look bad.

This may give us the simplest and most direct clue to dangerous levels of narcissism: can a leader tolerate looking “bad”? If someone has zero tolerance for this they fundamentally are unable to handle reality and are unfit to lead.

The other clue to dangerous levels of narcissism is a profound absence of empathy. Unfortunately, Trump also provides a ready example of this. At a Wisconsin rally last week, apparently referring to late-term abortion, he said this:


It wasn’t the first time that Trump had grossly distorted late-term abortion, portraying it as executing a baby after birth. This simply isn’t true. No baby is executed after birth, ever. But what’s most striking to me is not the lie but the stunning lack of empathy for the parents and doctors who have to make the terrible decision to choose palliative care for a baby born with anencephaly, or a family that has to make the choice to terminate a pregnancy that otherwise would lead to the mother’s death. It would be impossible to make that kind of remark, even if it was enormously politically expedient, if you had the slightest ability to identify with and understand the emotions of a parent or a doctor coping with such a tragic situation.

The distinguishing feature of dangerous levels of narcissism is the extreme and unyielding degree of these psychological weaknesses: the complete absence of empathy and the complete intolerance for appearing anything but great. Sadly, these are signs of a broken self that should not be given responsibility for the lives of others.



Prudy Gourguechon is a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who advises leaders in business and finance on the underlying psychology of critical decisions. She is currently wo...