Did you know the inventor of Corn Flakes thought the cereal would fight the urge to masturbate? That's why you "rub one out" before breakfast.

Other things you may need to know:

Ladies, do more crunches, it could lead to a mind-blowing "big O".

Sperm contains zinc and calcium that can help prevent tooth decay... let that one sink in.

Here's to practicing more horizontal dancing.