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Pushing Through F.E.A.R.

Published by in Fear and anxiety ·
Tags: FearOvercomeOKChallengeScaredSurmountCalm

Pushing Through F.E.A.R.

Rhonda wanted to finish her master's degree in the worst way. She even hired a coach to help her organize what little free time she had so that she would make small, but steady advancements in her research. That was six months ago and now as she stared goomily at the calendar she knew she had a real block between herself and what she wanted, but what was it?

Ken fidgeted with the handle on his laptop bag. Every time the airline loudspeaker made an announcement he jumped, and his heart beat faster. His damp white  hands were clammy and he tried to slow his breath to calm his heart as he waited to board his flight. He was headed to Toronto for a monthly business brainstorming session. He loved his work. He was good at it. But lately it had become harder and harder for him to fly. It was unreasonable, he thought, as he furrowed his brow.

Sooner or later each of us struggles with some form of fear. It can approach us in various ways, hidden as low self-esteem, fear of heights, a dread of tackling the laundry or in seemingly silly ways like not wanting to try a different food. It can freeze us in our tracks, literally, and immobilize us when we most want to do things.

There are so many different ways that fear can prevent us from living our lives fully that there have developed an equal number of methods designed to master it. To overcome fear. To understand fear. To overcome fear. To just jump in and say to h*** with it. Forge it, fight it, like we all have this insidious little beast inside of us that tauntingly prevents us from having the fun and the life that we want.

My take on fear is a little different. It goes like this:

Fear is not bad.
Fear is not some crazy entity that exists inside us that we need to kill, box up and send far, far away.
Fear will not stay away. It will come back -- maybe in a little different form.
Fear is not to be feared, because.....

Fear is there to keep you safe.
Fear wants you to be happy.

I have an acronym for fear and it goes like this:

F inding
E verything's
A ll
R ight

Fear only wants to know things are safe before you proceed. It wants to make sure everything is all right before you proceed.

Fear is actually there to support you. Fear prevents you from jumping off of high places, from putting your hand in the fire or leaving all your money on your doorstep overnight.

However what happens, is sometimes it gets a little overzealous and starts tying in with other emotions that we have. It can become a controlling and interfering force in your life. In it's desire to keep you safe it starts preventing you from doing. Fear tends to not like new and different things. From misgivings to phobias, fear can become an overbearing protector preventing new experiences. For example talking to and getting involved with new people and social opportunities might be difficult or awkward for you because fear doesn't want you to be laughed at or be unpopular. And fear remembers the first time you had a similar experience and you ended up very upset and unhappy. Fear wants you to be happy, so it will step in and try to prevent you from repeating a distressing situation.

Fear can vary in range from vague to severely limiting. There are times getting help is appropriate. When you notice fear is stopping you in your life, there are different modes of help that can be sought out such as:

Reiki or other energy therapies
Talk Therapies

Since this is a much greater topic than can be addressed in this article I would just like to share with you these thoughts so that you might recognize fear when it pops up in your own life and be able to easily calm it down a notch or two so you can think clearly.
•\tYou can take some of the stinging power away from fear when you acknowledge that it's wanting to work for you not against you.
•\tYou truly are the master of your own life and your decisions, even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment.
•\tYou can give fear a pat on the head and thank it for looking out for you, and then make your decision. Just acknowledging it's role seems to appease it a bit. It knows its been heard.
•\t Know that without fear there would be no challenge, and with no challenge, no growth. We would not learn anything without fear on board.
•\tFear is a signal of entering a new experience. And new experiences can enrich our lives.
Basically, people need fear. Perhaps the more you can understand your fears the easier it will be for you to work with them, and, if appropriate (and safe!) overcome them.

Hypnosis is a powerful tool for overcoming fears of many shades and sizes. Listening and exploring with the unconscious can release and heal many stumbling blocks.

Using our behaviour to influence other's reactions.

Published by in Fear and anxiety ·
Tags: fearthreatenedptsdcontrolreactreactionscomplyingresponsibilityanxietyHypnotherapy
A possible source of anxiety and energy drain for people-pleasing people.
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