Health, self-development

Self talk

Take a few moments and check in with yourself.
How did you treat yourself today? On the outside, as well as on the inside.

Did you give your body some breaks, some rest, where it could regain the energy spent during a busy day. What did you do for your body to stay healthy and feel good?
Some movement, a bubble bath or a nice foot massage?

As important as taking care of our body, is taking care of our inside, our mental health, our heart and soul. What is it you did do for your inside? Meditation, a walk in nature, some reading?

How is your perception of other people, compared to how you see yourself?
Probably you are way harder on yourself than you are on other people.
What is it you think of yourself, how do you talk to yourself.
Try to reflect on that for a day, write down how you speak about yourself. Phrases like “silly me” or “sorry, I am an idiot” are more common than you might think. Write the thoughts and phrases down to remember and read through it at the end of the day. ALERT – You might be shocked.
When I first tried that I was absolutely outraged by myself. There was not much loving kindness involved  in my self-talks or let’s even call it self-judgement, and oh my, what a strict judge I was.
And this made me become the prisoner of my own thought punishments.
For my own standards I was never good enough, fast enough or worthy enough. What stunned me most, was that I actually thought I had a good opinion on myself until I looked closely. The truth I found there left me speechless and made me reflect on what it was that I judged so harshly in my behavior, in my looks, in my profession, in my being.

Writing down my self-talk and the thoughts I had about myself really opened my eyes. I still do that “exercise” from time to time to check-in again and to work on my self-love-ability.

If you feel like you could need a little more self-love from time to time, I can warmly recommend looking on the inside as closely as caring for the outside. I know it might not feel as good as a spa day at first, it might feel more like work, but I promise you, when the work is done, you will be left with the warmest feeling for yourself.

Health, self-development

Naming and shaming

Either, you’re too fat and don’t have any control over your life, or you are too skinny or fit and are arrogant as you use so much time for your looks.
Either you’re eating meat and don’t give shit about animals, slaughtering and what you put inside your body, or you are vegan and a hippie who has no idea about real life.
Either you are a relationship type, who just can’t stand being by him/herself, or you are single, which means you have a bad personality, bad looks or even both.
Either you are a mom who stays at home, which means you gave up your life, or you start working again, which means you don’t care about your kids and don’t deserve any respect.
Either you are a dad who stays at home, which means you are under your wife’s thumb, or you don’t stay at home, which makes you a conservative snob, who doesn’t know his kids.

As you can see, no matter what you do, you definitely do it wrong.
You can never be good enough, your decisions can never be the right ones and generally your life is a complete disaster according to society and the ‘shamers’.

But you know what, if you act according to your beliefs, I’m proud of you.
I’m proud of every person who tries to eat less meat, I’m proud of everyone who buys consciously and informs themselves, I’m proud of the single mom who has to work, of the dad that provides for the family, of the singles, who love their freedom, of the chubby girls and boys who don’t define themselves over their looks.
I am not proud of people, who make others feel uncomfortable, unloved, unworthy! I’m not proud of vegans shaming vegetarians for eating eggs and I’m not proud of flexitarians shaming vegans for following their strict rules. I’m ashamed for women making other women feel small for working or not working, for making the decisions to have kids or not.
You can only live your best life, you cannot control someone else’s life.
On the other hand it means, that instead of shaming others, take responsibility for your actions and choices and stand up for it. That’s not easy either, but it’s 100% in your hands.

So, if you ever get shamed for who you are, or what you do, keep in mind, that the person shaming you, probably doesn’t have her/his life under control and it’s way easier for them to point their finger at you. Don’t take it personally. It actually means, you did something right, you triggered something in them. You are just their mirror, nothing more, nothing less.
You can go on and live your life, don’t waste your energy on people who make you feel bad, bring your focus on the life you want to create, work your way towards it and stand up for yourself.

You only have this life.
It is your life.
It’s your decisions.
It’s your choice to make. Be wise. Live in peace.