Saturday, November 12, 2016

Interplanetary fructose

I'm rereading right now Schaub's The Year of No Sugar and it inspired me to write some verses.  What if other races on the comos subsisted on fructose instead of glucose? Here's my Calvin & Hobbes-esque take on it:

So they finally came
Set to fulfill their aim
Their presence long suspected

Narrow-minded for a change
In no cultural exchange
Were they interested

Advanced in technology
Pastry cooking and what-not-logy
They also loved sweets

Tarts and cakes
Smoothies and crepes
These were their feasts

Their biology different
(this much was evident)
Could only process fructose

Scoured for it the universe
Glucose made them fat
None of them wanted that
Fructose was their stuff of dreams

Sugar they knew
Was unhealthy to not a few
Made them burst their seams

Piled their ships with Earth cookies,
Soft drinks, candy and licorice
All high with high fructose

Promised they'd come back
No fear of them to attack
Peace and sweetness their cause

And back they came 
No longer tame
Their spoils had spoiled

Earth's reputation was now soiled

The final couple of verses need some rework, which I'll figure out later. For the actual chemistry check out Schaub's book (Two word summary: avoid fructose!). BTW, the documentary "Fed Up" pairs real well with it.