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Thursday, May 05, 2005

Excuses emoi, women are just bored













  1. Oh, come on. I was bored, I tell you. All those hours on the phone trying to find a nanny? Bo-ring. The endless debate between me and my husband about who could make it home by 5:30? Dull in the extreme. Not to mention all those congratulatory promotion parties for my male friends, dutifully attended by their helpful elves and well-dressed children. Why should I put up with tedious paychecks, feedback, and chours of concentrated thought when there are cheese sandwiches to make and laundry to me done? Plus, the eternal, fascinating puzzle that is loading the dishwasher.

  2. I think for my wife, the problem was not so much that being a vp in a big corporation was boring, as it was soul-sucking and life-consuming. At that level, they do expect every ounce of your energy. So how can you be a parent in that kind of environment? And I agree with you on policies to "help balance"... It's laughable.

    It's really unfortunate because anyone at those levels experiences it. Guys especially, but since most of us have been socialized to repress wanting anything else, it's hard to express that thought for us.

    For my wife, leaving corporate job with big pay, even though the job was pretty interesting, was about being able to stay true to herself and her life priorities. Unforunately there are very few professional jobs where you don't have to give 110%. If you haven't read Miriam Peskowitz's book "The Truth about the Mommy Wars" I really recommend it, she gets into all this stuff in a really good way.

    I'll just finally add that most working women are not in these professional jobs, they're in the kind of jobs that most people in general are in: underpaid, overworked, little if any security. Once again the NYTimes generalizes from a narrow slice of upper middle class women to represent "all women"...

  3. KJ hit the nail on the head. Hell, just this week... I've been more than bored trying to determine how I can get myself and family to Michigan to be with a very ill grandparent, get my manuals out by deadline, and take care of a sick child that needs to be home. I mean--I'm bored to tears, can you tell?

    I can't bring myself to read the article. I might have to cry.

  4. Thank you, thank you, thank you -- that article p*ssed me off in the worst way. What was the point of even writing it? I bet the author is a man ghostwriting as a woman, trying to get all us working moms off his back about flexible work arrangements! :-)

  5. Anonymous5:08 PM

    Well frankly that article hit the spot for me.

    Things like work-life balance issues & whether companies are really promoting it (mentioned by previous commenters) is a valid but totally different issue.

    I had been feeling bored at work & had been discussing this w/ my spouse & women friends. I am a successful mid-level mgr w/ a 2yr old. My job by itself is pretty interesting. However, what makes it boring is that when I try to envision my next step by looking at my managers or other experienced people around me (95% men within my function in my industry), I find my self totally unmotivated. I dont want to become like them. Mind you, they are real smart & bright men. But thats it. I find myself saying, there is gotta to be something more to getting there making all the hard work/sacrifice worthwhile.

    Maybe women look for a higher/deeper level of satisfaction??? Like a previous person alluded to, men are not likely to question the big picture satisfaction. Anyhow, I think this boredom is due to fewer women. Not in the overall workforce, but the segments where the women are getting bored i.e. women executives & industries w/ less women (hi-tech). Esp. in the latter segment, since there are so few women role models, there is no one to look up to, leading to women quitting due to boredom or work life balance etc leading to fewer role models & the vicious cycle continues.