MCP Student Jacqueline Scholl commentates the MCP Sports Day.

Two teams, both alike in dignity,
In fair Oxford, where we lay our scene.

Except, this was no tragedy. This was but the most sweaty of comedies, for amongst the civilians playing pickup soccer games in the public university park, the nature information seminars and the simple joggers, were the (wait for it) Theatre Kids. Yes that is correct. Your eyes do not deceive you. 20 Shakespeare students were marched to a public place to not only exercise but to compete in something that was not a monologue contest.

Split into two teams, we were given an hour ticket to an athletic portal. We endured a bubbly warm up led by the lovely Jensen and Saorla. It was exciting, and dare it be called, fun, to feel like a sports kid for a hot second. Everyone was terrified of the mysterious prospects and potential asthma that would come with the dreaded sports day, but once we were out on the field, some sasheying more than jogging, something wicked our way did come, and we only played one verb: to win.

Our teams, named from group inside jokes that would be frivolous to explain, were poised and ready to fight. With some meager muscle, each team had assets and liabilities. Our highly anticipated Sports Day comprised an assortment of games. Whichever team proved more successful in total, came out victorious. It began with a game that entailed each team in a line, so that a person was directly behind their teammate. The challenge was to pass a balloon under legs and over shoulders until it reached the caboose, in which the cycle would repeat until the initial line leader returned to their place of origin. The team, captained by Freedom Martin, won this round. After were the wheelbarrow races in which the other team, Zero Tolerance, won, thus starting their winning streak. They went on to beat Freedom Martin’s team in the Egg Drop race, the Bottle In Thighs race, and the Dizzy relay, subsequently winning Sports Day.

Team Zero Tolerance was awarded medals for their excellence and Freedom Martin’s team shamefully accepted three half melted Kinder eggs used in the Egg Drop race. Zero Tolerance may have won the title but Freedom Martin’s team was able to walk away with full knowledge that they would never have an identity crisis, for they were theatre kids, who would continue to lose sports games….even against other theatre kids.

In a literal sense however exercise is healthy for the body and therefore the mind. It was rewarding to partake in such physical exertion and complain about it just as the next man. We marched out of that field with heads held high and sweat running down every piece of our bodily square footage. Additionally, we had thirst and hunger.

For never was a story of more open water bottle lids
Than this of Sports Day and her Theatre kids

By Jacqueline Scholl