John Kerry: America’s New Susan Rice and Possibly New Hillary Clinton

Official government photo.

John Kerry has been the runner-up United States president, stand-in Mitt Romney impersonator, and second-place winner of a recent Eustace Tilley lookalike contest, so it is no surprise that President Obama is now turning to the professional No. 2 as his potential backup Secretary of State contender.

Kerry is an attractive candidate for several reasons. First, John McCain and his ragtag gang of public-servant toughs would likely not go out of their way to make Kerry’s nomination process absolutely unbearable. Kerry would be a “popular choice with the Senate,” Mitch McConnell told CNN just before asking CNN if it wanted to see a movie this weekend, and CNN was like, “Uh. What movie?” And McConnell, for the life of him, could not think of any current movies, for some reason, and just stood there, silently, stupidly. Finally, just to break the tension, McConnell was like, “Haha, nevermind. I can’t this weekend.” And CNN, visibly relieved, was like, “Oh, O.K., cool.”

*The Washington Post’*s David Ignatius makes another argument for Kerry: the Senate Foreign Relations Committee chairman is “familiar to America and the world,” he “recognizes that the world is a mess, starting with the chaotic Arab nations,” and might “find it easier to take diplomatic chances than other potential nominees, especially the younger, less experienced Rice.”

Devil’s advocate: God forbid Hillary Clinton and now John Kerry kickstart a new tradition of selecting a recent presidential runner-up as the Secretary of State. Mitt Romney could not even vacation in London without later being forced to apologize to the city and its people.


See All Players