Very exciting

God Bless America

Modern day Jonah

If someone had had a video camera when the whale swallowed Jonah, we might see a scene similar to this one captured off the coast of South Africa, says the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC]. It seems that Rainer Schimpf was snorkeling near Port Elizabeth Harbour when a whale with its mouth wide open tried to gobble him up. Schimpf managed to extricate himself later and told Sky News: “Once you’re grabbed by something that’s 15 tonnes heavy and very fast in the water, you realize you’re actually only that small in the middle of the ocean,” 

The police let her go

Anne Brokenbrow has had a good life, always keeping on the straight and narrow. So how did this law abiding centenarian manage to wind up in hand cuffs being carried off by two of Bristol, England’s finest?  It was all part of a charity event organized by the Stokeleigh Care Home where Ms. Brokenbrow resides, according to the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC]. She and her housemates were asked to reveal something they might have on their bucket list. Her wish, she explained to a reporter for Sky News, was to be arrested, explaining that she is “104 and I have never been on the wrong side of the law.” She described her arrest as “very exciting.”

A modern day good Samaritan

You might want to call Mike Weirsky the absent minded mega-millionaire. The Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC] reports that he purchased several lottery tickets at a local supermarket recently but was distracted and left them on the counter. He explained to reporters what happened when he showed up at the New Jersey Lottery offices to pick up his $273 million jackpot. He said that while still at the store, “I put the tickets down, put my money away, did something with my phone and just walked away.” The night the jackpot was announced Weirsky searched high and low for the tickets and finally, in desperation, he returned to the supermarket where he purchased them in the first place. And, to his surprise, the cashier had his tickets. The good Samaritan who found the tickets had returned them. Oh yeah, Weirsky opted for a lump sum payout of $162 million.