I confess that it worries me slightly that you would assume I might know the answer to this. These days lots of men actually wax the chest clean, going for the competitive-swimmer look, and that strikes me as a tad twee but nowhere near as neurotically nutty as coloring one’s tit fur. If you trim it down with a pair of scissors, nobody is going to notice that you have gray chest hair. Trust me, I’ve got it, and it’s almost invisible. If you are obsessed, however, you can dye chest hair by combining hair dye with an equal amount of moisturizing shampoo, mixing it thoroughly, applying carefully, avoiding the skin as much as possible, and leaving it on for ten to twenty minutes. The pros who provided this information warn that a patch test should be conducted before the dye job to minimize the risk of an allergic reaction. That stuff ain’t health food, mister. Good luck in all your endeavors.