Friday, 8 August 2014

You can Wirte if you Don't Know

I found songs I wrote when I was 16, 17. There is something about them I really like. Like listening to a band early stuff where it is raw and pure without the polish. Without trying to make a good song but make their song. By the way they are just lyrics and they are not even finished.

My life at the time was more of a roller coaster of situations and emotions, good and bad, always good to find stuff to write about.

See, I wish my songs to emotive. Not just in words but in music. I want to set a scene and an atmosphere (not I am not trying to make out I am some kind of god of music, it’s just my intentions.) Now I am not saying I am some kind of serious writer, one of the song is called 'How Long do I Have to Wait' about waiting for the bus. Now it could end up being funny or bizarre or just express impatience. The song doesn't say that it’s about waiting for a bus but more expresses the situation so it could be applied to many different things. People might think it is a love song of being without or someone waiting to get through a rough patch in their life.

I am kinda happy they are not done, it was mainly because I found them hard to finish to the standard I was happy with and they were more notes and ideas, a line or two around the idea. It means now I can do them justice with how I have improved. Now to be honest the 1st song I finished (not the first I started writing) is still my favourite song I can not wait to start writing up these songs as it is nice to mix old ideas with new.

I think in concepts, maybe some of you will find it hard to understand. I do think in words sometimes. It is a way to slow do my thinking and a way that translates it into something useable for other people. It is because you can not talk in concepts. The word falling means nothing without context. Falling in water and falling in air are two different things in my head. So you could say water falling and air falling but again that's not how I think as there is different way to fall, to fall into and fall inside. Then the feeling of how the fall is. Are you jumping into a pool excited to swim or where you pushed off with the feeling of dread.

The there is a speed of how much something is falling. Then the size, how aerodynamic it is. Each variable is a different concept in my head. Now I do have the general concept of falling don't get me wrong (something going down) but that is used to fill the holes in my thinking. So when someone goes "dude you see that thing falling" I see a conceptualised a hazy thing going down in the place I am in at that moment.

The thing will have no colour shape or size and it will just fall not really following the laws of physics because things can not. It needs to be something for it to follow rules. It is only when that person goes "dude I think it was a bird" do I see a bird shaped thing in an average size of bird type thing in the area that I am in. So in the city I live, in between a pigeon and a seagull.

Concepts are not real things even though they have basis on the real world. They are interpretations of the real world. So I think that's why I like to create in the way I do as I am making something in my head that is a construct of a real thing, something I can not just explain to someone into something real.

I guess that why people do artistic things. To express yourself. To be understood.

Now the problem is to explain one line in a song will mean more than one thing. I sometimes wish I wrote more specific, that you do not have to read in between the lines sometimes. Like the song I just wrote Bite Attack.

It is about dealing with good times and coming down from the highs. Then dealing with bad and the after effect when it is over. About people trying to take away the good times and start the bad. About being in the eye of the storm of a good or bad situation and the anticipation. About fighting back against such situations and people. About self destructive people making the pain they feel worse. Being unsure.
I could go on.
I do like what I write though. It took a long time, putting my work online and asking for advice, learning to see the good in what I made. I did not really like to do it but I did. I felt that it was not good enough, I hate showing things until they are in my mind ok. I wanted to improve my writing and myself. I threw my work to the random people on the net, to shoot me down or hold me up. Mainly because I do not like to have weakness or fear. I bite the wound sometimes, attack a problem that doesn’t need to be attacked.