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Clearing the mental queue

Whenever I feel stressed out or overwhelmed, I can usually narrow it down to one main reason:

My mental queue is jam packed.

Imagine your mind as an inbox that is overflowing with outstanding priorities, goals, calls, meetings, errands, and countless other distractions. I’m sure most of you don’t have to imagine - in today’s crazy, technology-driven world, this tends to be the default.

Honestly, this is how I feel a lot of the time, especially when I forget to check in with myself.

Whenever I forget to groom my mental queue, it quickly fills up with outstanding commitments.

How do I stop this from happening?

Like most things, it’s simple (I didn’t say easy).

As someone who regularly suffers from paralysis-by-analysis, I have to actively force myself to make decisions, pull triggers, and push stuff out of the door.

In other words, I have to clear my mental queue.

This involves actively mapping out all of my commitments, deciding next steps, and holding off from taking on anything new.

When I don’t do this, I tend to procrastinate and overthink things, which leads to even more stress and less mental bandwidth - it’s a vicious circle.

If you haven’t recently, make a quick list of every single commitment you have and ask yourself, “Does this belong in my mental queue?”

All-in is all wrong

As someone who was recently on a panel that gave feedback to entrepreneurs, I was asked, “Why are entrepreneurs taking advice from full-time employees?”

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear this is the “all-or-nothing” mindset that continues to permeate entrepreneurship.

Sure, there is no shortage of stories that tout a “rags-to-riches” rise to success for entrepreneurs all over the world, but that is exactly what they are - stories.

Over the past decade of full-time freelancing and entrepreneurship, I learned that living life in the extremes is usually a dangerous place to operate. If you’re not prepared, it can be lonely, stressful, and even lead to harmful thoughts of self-worthlessness.

I’ve always been a trial-by-fire kind of person who does better when there isn’t a safety net, but I’ve gone all-in before and honestly, it doesn’t always have to be this way.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that there are countless ways to create your own path.

Going back to the above question, I truly believe that you can always learn something from the person in front of you, no matter how different they may appear to be.

Why are entrepreneurs taking advice from full-time employees? Because many employees have experience with budgets, timelines, product validation, scalable (and unscalable) business models, bringing products to market, and simply talking to other people.

Just because they choose to work for someone else doesn’t mean that they don’t have relative experience to share. In fact, they may have the missing piece to the puzzle you’re trying to solve as an entrepreneur.

The sooner we can dial down the extremism of entrepreneurship, the better off we’ll all be.

Adopting a "one less" mindset

Like many people who struggle with bad habits, I’ve developed a “one more” mindset over the years.

Without even thinking twice, I’ll have “one more” drink, stay out “one more” hour, or try to squeeze in “one more” task while I’m working.

What’s the harm in this?

Like most things, it wouldn’t be that bad if it was just once in a while.

Unfortunately, it isn’t just once. These moments of “one more” compound on each other and end up biting me in the ass. One more drink + one more hour out with friends = one less productive morning.

Instead, what would things look like if I focused on developing a “one less” mindset?

I would probably feel a little better if I had one less drink, I wouldn’t be as grumpy if I spent one less hour out, and I definitely wouldn’t be as stressed out if I took on one less obligation - I would have way more mental bandwidth for the things that matter most to me.

The question is: how does someone adopt this “one less” mindset when they’ve built up a series of unhealthy habits that make it easier to say, “I’ll have one more…”?

I’m not exactly sure yet, but this is a question that deserves at least one more minute of my time.

Altruism and profit

Last night, I had the opportunity to be a panelist at a pitching event where local entrepreneurs present their businesses and ask for feedback around one specific question.

When it came to the final pitch, an interesting conversation popped up.

The entrepreneur mentioned they were including an altruistic component to their business model and one of the other panelists responded by saying, “You can focus on being altruistic once you scale up. As a startup, you need to focus on making mountains and mountains of big, ugly money.”

Maybe I’m just naive, but I couldn’t agree less.

Sure, if you want to eventually become a fully-sustainable company, you have to (eventually) have revenue coming in, but the idea that altruism and profit are mutually exclusive is ludicrous.

One of the smartest things you can do when starting a company is to focus on growing a community around your company.

Can you guess one thing people care about when it comes to the brands they support and the products/services they purchase?

A cause.

In today’s world, it’s becoming harder and harder to differentiate based on product alone. You have to plant your flag and stand for something when others may not.

If you ask me, doing good will always be good for business.

Clear and concise


I’ve never been the most straightforward.







Practicing leadership



I promise it’s not this simple.



Some of the best leaders take a much different approach.





Being an ally

I’m lucky that I get to work with a company that values having intentional conversation around what it means to be diverse and inclusive.

Each month, some of us meet at a different coworker’s home for an event called Homecoming where we discuss specific topics and share personal stories.

Last night, we talked about what it means to be an ally.

As someone who usually falls into the privileged majority in almost any situation (a straight, white, cisgendered male), I want to be an ally for individuals and groups who aren’t so lucky.

Admittedly, I don’t do nearly enough, and usually for one reason - I struggle not with what to say, but how to say it.

Sure, I understand that in the real world, you don’t get a gold star for doing the right thing. Speaking up for others (when that is in fact what they want) should be a given and we should just be able to do it.

The thing is, I also understand that we’re human, which means we’re messy, imperfect creatures that fall back on habits when shit hits the fan.

I’ve learned that if you really care about making a change, you have to consider the habits that drive (or don’t drive) your actions.

In my case, I’m focused on developing the habit that when I hear or see something that could be considered discrimination or injustice, I first ask the person being discriminated against, “Hey, are you OK? How do you feel right now? What do you need?”

As we talked about last night, not everyone wants or needs to be saved. As someone in most majorities, I’m sure it can be much too easy to default to a savior complex.

I’m looking forward to continuing these conversations and doing what I can to become a more effective ally.

Culture is inevitable

I’ve been thinking a lot about culture over the past few months.

From joining a larger company culture early on to helping shape it on a smaller scale within my own company and a cappella group, I’ve noticed something that is probably self-evident to most:

Whenever you have two or more people working together, culture is inevitable.

From the tone and topics of conversations to the way in which you make decisions, culture simply happens.

In the same way that indecision is still a decision, not intentionally crafting your culture will still give you a culture, it will just be one in which you won’t have any control.

That is why I’m learning to pay more attention to my actions and how they affect the people around me.

Ultimately, these actions contribute to the collective culture.

Believe it or not, when I respond to a Slack comment with a specific GIF or an emoji, this becomes part of the documented culture.

When I have certain conversations within earshot of others, this becomes part of the undocumented culture.

It’s easy to forget these things when we prioritize our work over the people doing the actual work.

In my mind, mindfulness should be just as important as margins, more urgent than email, and prioritized just like profits.

How are you contributing to your company culture?

Content with being content

I was lucky enough this weekend to grab coffee with a friend who was in town for a wedding.

Whenever we get together, we have great conversation that leads to more questions than answers and enough ideas to fill a notebook.

Our conversation was based around my friend leaving St. Louis and his realizations since then.

He shared how even though he was looking for a professional change, he missed how his days were filled with things and people he cared about.

In other words, he wasn’t content with being content.

This is something a lot of us deal with, especially in our professional lives.

We feel pressure to “do more” and “be better” all while searching for something that fulfills us.

It’s no wonder social media can be a blessing and a curse.

It allows us to share our story and stay connected with the people we care about, but it also sets unrealistic expectations.

Not everyone has to travel the world, vlog every second of their life, or share an endless stream of filtered selfies. We don’t always have to strive for perfection.

In fact, I’m learning that being imperfect is far more interesting.

In a world where anyone can be anything, the people that stand out are one thing above all else - themselves.

Luckily, I have friends who help remind me of this.

Pleasantly surprised

We’re only five days into the new year and I have to say I’m pleasantly surprised.

Usually, it takes a few weeks to really feel the effects of a new year: the high you get from working out, the sense of accomplishment from creating a morning routine, the wicked hangover you get after celebrating a little too late the night before.

In this case, things are already taking off.

If I had to pinpoint one reason, it would probably be thanks to last year’s decisions.

Instead of focusing on quick actions that provided short-term results, I did my best to look further ahead and prioritize things that would have a better long-term effect (all while dealing with a cornucopia of shit).

Now, I’m not saying everything is falling into place - far from it.

In fact, I have yet to draw out my priorities for the new year.

I’m just noticing that for the first time in my life, I am actually OK with where I am.

I’m not complacent or apathetic - I’m simply content for the time being.

For all of you out there who are your own harshest critics (like me), take a moment and think back to the last time you felt this way.

I’m assuming these moments are few and far between.

When they do pop up, bask in them because, as you can probably guess, they tend to be fleeting.

Dragging my feet

It’s January 2nd and I don’t have any of my priorities written down for 2019.

Normally, I would be kicking myself in the ass for dragging my feet, but this year, I’m trying this new thing where I give myself more of a break.

I’m not exactly sure why, but I tend to have unusually high self expectations.

I know what you’re thinking: “Great, just what the internet needs! Yet another (bearded) white dude bragging about how he is special.”

I promise it’s not like that. In fact, instead of a badge of honor, it’s more of a curse.

With me, I’m either productive or lazy. Happy or sad. Driven or complacent. There really isn’t much gray area.

In the past, I’ve found myself frustrated and disappointed far too many times simply because I wasn’t able to meet every single goal I put in place.

This year, I still want to set goals, I just want to create them within larger priorities and make them more realistic and sustainable.

With this combination, I’m hoping this year will be less frustrating and even more impactful than 2018.

The highest of highs...

It’s the last day of the year and, like many people all over the world, I’m reflecting on 2018 while also thinking ahead to 2019.

After doing some thinking, I can’t deny that 2018 was the most defining year of my life (so far):

Highs: Traveling abroad with my girlfriend for the first time, proposing to her in Ireland, surviving my first year in business with Viabl, getting Dobby (our little fur baby), taking my first full-time position with Slalom Consulting, and finally reaching some amount of financial stability.

Lows: Financial issues due to higher freelance taxes than expected, multiple hospital visits while in Ireland, prolonged health issues likely due to stress, the failure to manage that stress because of an inability to consistently work out (thanks to the health issues), and losing some part of my old identity.

As you can probably guess, this year was filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

One of the most impactful lessons I learned was that health affects every aspect of life. When your health is in jeopardy, you also lose the peace of mind that allows you to think and live intentionally.

Now that I’ve reached a point of relative stability, my focus for 2019 is on helping others not only reach this point but to also thrive.

I’m still figuring out what this looks like, but all I know is that as hard as this past year was, it forced me to take a good, hard look at myself and make some hard realizations.

I lost my identity as someone who was freelancing full-time but found another one as someone who is piecing together their own path in their way.

I’m not sure what 2019 has in store, but I know that whatever it is, I’ll be ready.

Choose your battles

As someone who sets unrealistically high expectations for myself, I'm realizing something important:

It's OK to stop take a breath, even if that breath turns into a break.

Sure, I'm no published author (yet), but I do care about sharing stories and connecting with others through writing.

The thing is, I sometimes lack followthrough, so establishing a routine is important to me.

At the same time, I'm a pretty extreme person - I'm either hot or cold, happy or sad, super productive or super lazy. There's not a whole lot of gray area with me.

This is why I'm hard on myself. Otherwise, complacency creeps in.

Usually, I fight it tooth and nail. But you know what?

Today, I choose not to fight. 

Instead, I choose to invest my time in other ways - relaxing with people I care about, slowing down long enough to breathe, pausing to think ahead.

No matter who you are or what you do for a living, don't forget to pick and choose your battles. 

We all have the same amount of time each day. 

The hardest part is choosing when to fill it and when to not.

Living intentionally

We’re close to wrapping up 2018 and, like most Decembers, things are slowing down (at least when it comes to the business world).

This is usually when I start to think retrospectively about the year coming to an end.

In all honesty, this year hit me with the highest highs (traveling to Ireland, proposing to my fiancé, joining Slalom Consulting) and lowest lows (health issues, financial issues, the inability to deal with multiple points of stress) and everything in between.

The more I think about it, I can’t help but admit this was one of the most defining years for me as an adult.

Maybe it’s because I grew out of my twenties, but I felt a tangible shift from pretending to be an adult to actually becoming one.

Since reaching relatively stable ground towards the end of this year, I’ve discovered the privilege that comes from being able to think about life with intentionality.

Sure, I’m still putting out individual fires as they pop up, but now, I actually have the attention to look further ahead to see what’s actually causing the fires in the first place.

It’s not easy to live an intentional life. If it was, the self-help book industry would cease to exist.

People don’t always have the time to slow down and think about taking purposeful steps towards a life that would make them happy.

If you do happen to have a little time over the rest of the year, I can’t think of a better way to spend it.

Support and discovery

Last week, I had a client call that didn’t go so well.

We were in the middle of our discovery phase for the project and there were some concerns about where things were heading.

The thing is, I wasn’t worried because, deep down inside, I knew everything was going to be OK.

How exactly did I know this?

Simple - I had/have the support of a solid team behind me.

At Slalom, everyone really does look out for each other, especially while solving complex problems for our clients.

You better believe I went back and reviewed what happened in order to avoid making the same mistakes in the future, but overall, my team reminded me that this is part of almost any discovery process.

Organizing chaos and understanding uncertainty is never going to be neat and tidy, but as long as you can communicate learning and progress while trusting everyone around you, everything will be just fine.

Closed mouths don't get fed

As an adult, I think it’s obvious that you don’t get what you don’t ask for.

When I freelanced full-time, my survival depended upon whether or not I spoke up and shared how I could be of value to someone else.

Now that I work with Slalom, this idea means something a little different to me.

It means that, even though I consider myself to be fairly proactive, I still need to ask for help when I need something.

In this type of setting, I don’t always know if there is a mechanism already in place in order to accomplish the thing I want to do.

I would assume this is pretty common with a lot of companies in hyper-growth mode, but the thing about Slalom St. Louis is that I have the ability to help create those mechanisms.

Basically, if I need to accomplish something and I don’t see a good process or system in place, I have the autonomy to help create one.

I’m learning to speak up when I see room for improvement and connect the dots when the opportunity arises.

Emerging strategy

It blows my mind that I get to be a part of a company that is actively involving everyone while creating an emerging strategy for the future.

Yesterday, I participated in one of the many small group discussions meant to gather insight from all of the consultants here at Slalom.

We explored questions like:

• What might the future landscape look like?
• What do we want to preserve and grow?
• What do we want to modify?
• What do we want to eliminate?
• What do we want to prioritize?

Think about this for a moment.

How often does management ask you to give feedback on questions like these at your company? How often do you feel as if you have any say in the direction your company is heading?

The beautiful thing was that Slalom’s management didn’t mandate this initiative from the top-down. A group of consultants got together, used our “Request for Comments” forum, and started sharing this from the bottom-up.

Since everyone is encouraged to participate, we have insight from people who have been here for a few days all the way to a few years.

Is this process perfect? Of course not. But the fact that we’re being intentional about it speaks volumes about where we’re heading in the future.

And that is a future I want to be a part of.

Problems with success

For the first time in my life, I’m working with a company that is facing the right kind of problems, the kind of problems that naturally come with success.

For the most part, successful growth means more revenue, more people, and more impact thanks to more audacious goals.

Much like when a child hits a growth spurt, a successful company experiences growing pains when this growth happens a little too quickly.

What do these growing pains look like day-to-day?

When a company grows too quickly, there can be overall ambiguity for people, both at the management level and for those with boots planted firmly on the ground.

Where does this ambiguity come from? During this period of hyper-growth, key processes and systems fall by the wayside which, ironically, are needed for future scaling.

No matter how hard people try to avoid these growing pains, it’s almost inevitable. That is, unless intentional growth is made a priority from the beginning.

I haven’t been at Slalom from the beginning, but I have had the pleasure of seeing what hyper growth looks like firsthand and I can confidently say, this team is different.

It’s exciting to be part of team of people that is willing to slow down and put people first while turning hyper growth into intentional growth.

Bringing people together

This past Friday, I had the chance to come together with all of the other experience design consultants from Slalom for an all-day offsite get together.

We reviewed where we’ve been, what we’re doing now, and where we want to head in 2019.

Not only was it productive in the sense that we all got to express and align our ideas together, but we also got to know each other a little better.

With many jobs, you work in the same office with the same people and the culture organically grows around you.

With consulting, many people are offsite with clients, which means you may not get to meet everyone until an all-hands meeting or a quarterly get together.

Because of this, it’s much more important to spend the time we have together intentionally because, whether we realize it or not, we’re setting the tone for how things will be in the future.

I am truly grateful for a company like Slalom that invests not only in their people but in the time those people spend together.

Screw my ego

Something strange happened a few days ago: I felt a little twinge of resentment.

In the moment, I was frustrated with my own inability to take ownership over a new project.

However, after taking a few moments to look inward, I realized I was projecting my own insecurity onto someone else.

As someone who worked for myself for almost a decade, I got used to taking 100% ownership over any project I started.

As great as this may sound, this isn’t how things happen in corporate America.

People work in teams and those team members are collectively responsible for the overall success of the project.

Unfortunately, people tend to forget (like I did) that everyone on that team has something to learn from everyone else, whether it’s directly related to the project or not.

Like most people in a professional setting, I feel a need to prove my value.

However, I care way more about creating successful outcomes than I do about stroking my own ego.

At the end of the day, I’m part of team which means sometimes taking a back seat and learning from others.