Aug 14, 2008

77 Ridiculous Pick-up Lines

Humorous pick-up lines that will crack you up!

Can I borrow your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.
Have I seen you before? Oh yeah! I saw you in the dictionary next to the word KABLAM!!!
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Are your pants from outer space? 'Cause your butt is out of this world,=.
Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
Did you fart? 'Cause you blew me away.
Don't you know me from somewhere?
My love for you is like diarrhea - I can't hold it in
Do you have a library card?'Cause I"d like to check you out
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. (Oh Really. What is that?) It's just that your number's not in it.
You've got all the curves, and I've got all the angles
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.
If you were a booger I would pick you first.
You stole my heart. But that's okay. I have another one at home in the fridge.
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You've got fine written all over you.
Does my breath smell okay?
Ever since I met you, you've lived in my heart without paying any rent.
Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?
My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! It must be 15 minutes fast.
If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
Do you sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I?
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
People call me John, but you can call me tonight!
Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
You turn my software into hardware!
(Fall in front of a girl) Wow, I've never fallen for a girl like you before.
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only ten I see!
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
I think I need to call heaven because they've lost one of their angels.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
Can I even get a fake number?
I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.
Damn, I'm glad I'm not blind!
If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?
Excuse me can I borrow a quarter, it is an emergency. My mom told me to give her a call the first time I fell in love.
I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle!
Excuse me, do you have a band-aid? Because I cut my knee when I fell for you.
Well here I am. What are your other two wishes?
You smell. Let's shower.
Oh baby, you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.
Are you an alarm clock? 'Cause you opened my eyes
Are you a zoo? Because you bring the animal out in me.
Are you a magician? Because ever time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
Do you know why I can't see any stars tonight? You outshine them.
Let's save water. Let's shower together.
My neck hurts, because as soon as you walked by I whipped my head!
What pick-up line actually works on you?
Did you get those jeans on sale? Because at my house their 100% off.
Hi, I'm Fun. I don't think you've had me yet.
Are your parents terrorists? Because you're the bomb.
Wanna go behind a rock and get a little boulder?
If I follow the rainbow will I get you in the end?
Good thing I'm not flammable because you're smoking hot.
Do you like water? (Yes) Then you already like 70 percent of me.
If you held six roses in front of a mirror you'd see seven of the most beautiful things in the world.
I'm like a clock and you're the batteries. Without you my world would end!
Hey can you please scratch my back? My arms are far too muscular for me to reach.
Did you hear the latest health report? You need to up your daily intake of vitamin me.
You must be peanut butter because you're making my legs feel like jelly!
Hey my name is John, but you can call me later!
Are you religious? (Why?) Because you're the answer to my prayers.
Let's play chess. You turn off the light and I'll make the first move!
Can I take your temperature?
Excuse me miss, can I have the time? I'd check my watch but I can't take my eyes off you.
That shirt is awful. Take it off now!
Baby do you have a license? 'Cause you're driving me crazy
You'll do.


Anonymous said...

Here's one that my friend came up with:

You should put that on your "to-do" list... right after me!

christina said...

worst pick up line ever, true story

"i have a condom"

Anonymous said...

just call me milk, I'll do your body good

Anonymous said...

wanna fuck

Angel said...

HAHHAHAHHA those are awesome!

Jeff M said...

best one that i created....."so i heard they were serving (the girls name your talking to) on the menu think i should get a slice or the whole thing?"

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