Lisa Life CoachLisa's Blog

How To Build Your Self Worth



A high opinion about yourself and who you are and what you do basically a love for yourself is also one of the things that people often miss or have too little of in today’s society.



▪ You’ll have more inner stability. When you like yourself more, when your opinion of yourself goes up then you’ll stop trying so eagerly to get validation and attention from other people, you become less needy and your inner life becomes much less of an emotional rollercoaster based on what people may think or say about you today or this week.

▪ Less self-sabotage. Most people’s worst enemy are themselves! By raising and keeping your self-esteem up you’ll feel more deserving of good things in life. You’ll go after them more often and with more motivation. When you get them then you’ll be a lot less likely to self-sabotage subtly or non subtle ways.


Being with you becomes simpler and a lighter experience with a lot less drama, arguments or fights based on little or nothing. And all of this is very attractive in any relationships, in areas with a friend, at work or with a partner.

▪ You’ll be a lot happier. That has been my experience and it is why I want to share this very emotion about self-esteem and why I value my own self-esteem so highly and try to keep it steady every day. You have to work on it every day it’s a way of life.

So those are some of the most important whys.


Well, today I would like to share 12 of the most powerful tips and habits I have found for improving and maintaining my own self-esteem, through the rough days and tough times.

1. Say stop to your inner critic.


We all have an inner critic.


▪ You are lazy, now get to work.
▪ You aren’t really that good at your job.
▪ You are worse or uglier than your friend/co-worker/partner.

You really don’t have to accept this, There are ways to minimise that critical voice and to replace it with more helpful thoughts. You
can change how you view yourself. Comparison to others is act of violence against the self.

One way of stopping this is by becoming aware of it first, to actually know your doing this, then ask yourself is it true, is it kind? Does this this serve me? Stop yourself going to that place of comparison.

Refocus your thoughts to something more constructive. In the long run it also helps a lot to find better ways to motivate yourself than listening to your inner critic. So let’s move on.

2. Use healthier motivation habits.




▪ Like for example getting into better shape and having more energy for your kids and the people close to you. Or making more money and through that being able to travel with your loved ones and experience wonderful new things together.

▪ When your list is done then save it and put it somewhere where you will see it every day. I write in a gratitude journal and check this everyday to either add more to my list and to check I’m on schedule.

▪ Refocus on doing where your passion is and what YOU really, really like to do. When your really passionate about something then the motivation to do that thing tends to comes pretty easily and automatically. When you really want something in life then it also becomes easier to push through any inner resistance you feel.

▪ So if you lose your motivation, ask yourself: Am I doing what I really want to do? If not then refocus and start working on that very important thing instead.

3. Take a 2 minute self-appreciation break.

You can spend just two minutes on this every day for a month then it can make huge difference.

Here’s what you do:


▪ Help quite a few people each day through what I write.
▪ Can help people find understanding and peace.

These things don’t have to be big things.



4. Write down 3 things in the evening that you can appreciate about yourself.



Ask yourself the question from the last section:
What are 3 things I can appreciate about myself?


5. Do the right thing.


It might be a small thing like getting up from the couch and going to the gym. It could be to be understanding instead of being judgmental in a situation. Or to stop feeling sorry for yourself and focus on the opportunities and gratitude for what you actually have.



This sets the tone for the rest of your day.

6. Replace the perfectionism.


It can paralyse you from taking action because you become so afraid of not living up to some standard. You procrastinate and therefore do not get the results you want. This will make your self-esteem sink.


How can you overcome perfectionism?

A few things that really helped me are:

▪ Go for good enough. When you aim for perfection then that usually winds up in a project or a task never being finished. So simply go for good enough instead. Don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realise that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished.


7. Handle mistakes and failures in a more positive way.

And that is OK, It is absolutely normal. By making making the mistakes learn and grow from them so don’t be so hard on yourself pick yourself up and keep going as the next time you’ll know not what to do and can take another route.



8. Be kinder towards other people.

When you are kinder towards others you tend to treat and think of yourself in a kinder way too. The way you treat other people is how they tend to treat you in the long run. You teach people how treat you.

So focus on being kind in your daily life.

You can for example:
▪ Just be there and listen as you let someone vent.
▪ Hold up the door for the next person.
▪ Let someone into your lane while driving.
▪ Encourage a friend or a family member when they are uncertain or unmotivated.
▪ Take a few minutes help someone out in a practical way.

9. Try something new.


You may not have done whatever you did in a spectacular or great way but you at least tried instead of sitting doing nothing.


So go outside of your comfort zone regularly. Don’t expect anything, manage your expectations just tell yourself that you will try something out.

Later on you can do the same thing a few more times and improve your own performance. If it feels too scary or uncomfortable then don’t beat yourself up. Take a smaller step forward instead by gently nudging yourself into motion.

10. Stop falling into the comparison trap.


So replace that habit with something better.

Look at how far you have instead measure your own growth we are all unique, focus on you, on your results and how you can improve your results. This will both motivate you and raise your self-esteem.

11. Spend more time with supportive people (and less time with destructive people).


So make changes in the input you get. Choose to spend less time with people who are nervous perfectionists, unkind or unsupportive of your dreams or goals. Spend more time with positive, uplifting people who are supportive are kinder and have high standards and ways of thinking about things.

Think about what you read, listen to and watch as well.


Spend the time you used on helpful self development information that can help with reading books, blogs, websites and listening to podcasts that help you and that make you feel good about yourself.

12. Remember the WHYS of high self-esteem.

So remind yourself of the WHYs at the start of this article to help yourself to stay motivated to work on your self-esteem and to make it an essential priority.

Doing this simple thing and keeping these powerful hints in mind has done wonders for me. I hope it can do the same for you.