The fast lane to instant gratification …

On my planet, effective procrastination is an art form.  Not only am I Queen, I am also the Head Lady Of Waiting.  Putting off things I should do now until later gives me the freedom to do now the things I want to do now.  Voila.  Instant gratification.

This is why I own a Honda, the most forgiving kind of car there is.  I can put off the servicing appointments until I find a few extra Saturday hours to wait in the dealership’s lobby and wonder if the stale popcorn in their popcorn machine is worth the guilt I will pack on for eating it.

Procrastination is one key reason why I keep extra weight around.    I wait to eat until I’ve skidded past the merely hungry state and slid headlong into the totally ravenous state, fully capable of eating like a hog.  Or just eating a hog.

It is why I don’t have a solid financial picture.  Why I buy instead of shop, and why I prefer on-line buying to driving to some brick-and-mortar place where you have to find a parking spot, then walk to a store, then walk some more to find what you want to buy and then mingle with people who like go shopping.  Who give me the heebie jeebies.

… Why finding clothes to wear to work is a daily trip to the  Twilight Zone.  Since I wait until I absolutely must get dressed to locate work-worthy clothing, which naturally could not be hanging up in the closet, already pressed and ready to wear.

… Why I have a great horse instead of a nice kitchen.   While I was thinking about how to avoid shopping for a way-past-due kitchen remodel, Mo the horse came up for sale.

… Why I have an enormous, gorgeous collection of cotton fabric for quilting, and only one enormous, gorgeous completed quilt.

… Why the sheriff deputy stopped me because of expired registration on my car.  When I had the current registration and tag buried in a pile of about two weeks of mail laying on the passenger side floor.  Which, incidentally, is why I now own two USPS tote baskets — the USPS guys give them to you as a prize for going all the way to the post office to pick up the pile of mail that gained too much weight to fit in your mail box.

I am not a doer by nature.  I am a thinker.  I think first, do later.  Preferably never.  This type of wiring means that first I must think about what needs to be done until I have thought it through fully and I have convinced myself that yes, it does need to be done.

Next, I write out a to-do list.   First a draft, and then a final version.   In calligraphy script.  This allows me some more time to think about what needs to be done, and I get the instant gratification of seeing my words in pretty lettering.

Next, I make a to-buy list of the items I need to buy to do what I need to do.  Since, naturally, I never have what I need on hand, since, naturally, I don’t buy more stuff just because I ran out of it.  I buy more stuff some weeks or months after the need initially presents itself and just before the need blows up into a screaming catastrophe.

I think about this now because I’m out feeding the ranch this morning and double-checking my to-do list of winter chores that still need to be done.   Thinking  I can wait until spring to do them.  Which means they might get done next fall.

Instantly gratified, I head out to ride Mo.