Charlie Sheen: A Star With No Show

A week into Charlie Sheen's weird "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour, few people at the Toyota Presents the Oakdale Theatre in Wallingford knew exactly what they were in for.

Sheen, fired from his lucrative sitcom job for erratic behavior and irresponsible interview comments, was taking the Conan O'Brien route — filling his free time by taking his talent directly to fans. And after the scarcely one-hour show in Connecticut Saturday, it still wasn't clear that he had much talent to bring.

He did bring his oversize ego and star power, which was enough to cheer a large (but not sold-out) crowd. But as soon as Sheen got out on stage with his interviewer, Joey Scoleri, it was clear they had nothing prepared and nothing really to offer but catch phrases that had already sounded a bit dated (and "Winning!" started to sound an awful lot like its opposite).

The tour got its start April 3 before a booing crowd in Detroit, and Sheen was still smarting from his worst-reviewed show yet on Friday at Radio City Music Hall. "That was embarrassing," he said.

But it couldn't have been a worse show than the one at the Oakdale, where there was no show at all. The difference is that the Connecticut crowd cheered his every boorish declaration instead of booing it.

Once he and Scoleri were seated, they sat expectantly, as if the audience were supposed to do something. The interviewer flipped through a $20 souvenir program and had Sheen comment on it. (Sample: "What do you mean you have magic in your fingers?" "Just that.")

Some people started walking out 20 minutes in. Another yelled from the balcony, "Start the show!"

Sheen brought out his "goddesses," Rachel Oberlin and Natalie Kenly, to prance around and throw out T-shirts and caps and give him a kiss. And that was about it.

The show began with a nonsensical video of violent scenes from his favorite movies, from "Jaws" to "Taxi Driver" to "Apocalypse Now," accompanied by guitar noises from Rob Patterson, guitarist from the band Filter, who sat on the side and played occasional riffs like a drummer would do rim shots for a comedian.

But Sheen's no comedian, and he had no act.

Sheen took questions from the audience, which, oddly, turned out to be largely food related: Why did he choose to eat a taco in the video? What is the best thing to do with bacon? But also: Are you interested in older women? And two were seeking autographs (which he fulfilled; he wasn't doing anything else).

He had an exchange or two with a guy who said he came up from Raleigh, N.C., for the show, who kept being pulled away by security. When the audience protested his being taken away, Sheen invited him back up to the stage, which he took to play harmonica with Patterson. The Hollywood star was floored and the audience gave its loudest response of the night. It was the only time there was a flash of talent on the stage all night.