Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A subway ride full of crotches

As a New Yorker, I take the subway *a lot*. And all too often I find myself staring at men's crotches. I can't help it. I don't want to look. They're just there.

Know this, gentlemen: I get no enjoyment from my crotch-ogling escapades.

There are several factors that create a bountiful crotch viewing environment on the subway:

1 - Women, myself included, tend to opt for seating on the subway if they can find any. Usually we are carrying heavy bags or are wearing high heels and want a brief rest. Men, on the other hand, tend to enjoy standing. Therefore, we're eye level with the crotches.

2 - There isn't much to look at on the subway if you don't have a newspaper or book. After about two stops, you've read every advertisement in the subway car, and have already exhausted yourself of trying to look busy on your mobile phone. So you find your eye wandering, looking for anything ANYTHING that is more interesting than re-reading ads for hammertoe and bunion removal.

3 - They're crotches! And they're in your face. How can you *NOT* look????

I'm torn in this web of crotchfulness and I can't seem to get out....


  1. lololol!
    In my experience though, the men who do sit on the subway, do it with their legs spread so far apart so that each of their balls has its own seat.

  2. That picture? OMG, too much! Where do you find this awesome shit??? LMAO.
    And I know what you mean, you don't mean to look, you just kind do.
    This is why I'm always seeing people with their zippers undone! It's my own personal burden.

  3. Marinka is right. It is much more comfortable that way. The boys like their own seat.

  4. THANK YOU Marinka for saying what I've been saying for YEARS!! Come on guys, you're balls aren't THAT big that you can't keep your legs together. GEEZ. Maybe my big boobs should have their own seat too.

  5. LMAO!! Everyone is guilty of the whole 'package check'. But OMG..that picture. That. Is. Freaky. But the worst part...I totally love the sorts of games that he/she? obviously likes too! Perhaps I need an intervention.

  6. lol, very funny. I too love reading the banners on the subway. I miss those days!

  7. look away...look away.... hehe

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