domingo, 29 de julho de 2012

Relationships - Past

Good afternoon,

The subject for today is about Relationships and Past.

1. How does the Past Relationships affect Present Relationships?
Answer : Past Relationships may affect the present when something is undone,
unsolved or when insecurities, fears, bitterness or resentment are left along.

2. Can it be solved and how?
Answer : Past is Past. It has happened, it may have scarred and injured
BUT it is over.

"Past is not the way to go nor the path to follow. 
Past is something to see and to learn from.
Past is not the way to live or compare.
Past is lived and told by museums, not by people and relationships".

3. Any advice on how to overcome from a past relationship?
Answer : In my opinion (just my opinion) if the relationship is now part of the past,
it makes no sense to live on, be stuck at a or even try to go back to it.
For many reasons that I am going to say :

Reason number one : 
If the Relationship (regardless of being LDR or not) ended, it ended for a reason.
Relationships (whether it is boy with a girl or girl with a girl or boy with a boy)
Happen when the feelings are mutual. If one day the other part is unhappy 
Or the other part no longer feels the same think : 
Is it fair to any of you to force a relationship to happen 
If the other person is no longer happy in it?
In my opinion it it much more fair to let the person go, 
To pursue his/her own happiness, 
Even if it costs your own.

Then who knows the present and future?
Present it is that. A gift!
You can find someone and meet someone that can treat you better
And whose feelings match your own. (i.did)
And who makes you happy, loving you the way YOU are.

Reason number two : 
Sometimes (often) the "coming back together" is a mistake.
Because many times the ghost of the break up and why you two broke up is there.
It hardly fades away. The insecurity. The difficulty to trust.
And trust in your partner is needed.

Reason number three : 
If you two are back together after a betrayal (regardless of who did it) it is hard
Not to say impossible for things to be exactly the same again.

4. How to move on from that Past?

Answer : First of all you need to know and you need to find out
What was it that in that Past has disturbed you 
Or left scars in you, still visible in current relationships.

Some examples : 
Poor self esteem, insecurities whether it is dificulty to trust
Or fear of being cheated / fear of being left for someone else.
Or even insecurities about your own person may occur.

5. Even if I have any of those problems, what should I do?
Answer : First of all , talking with either a psychologist
Or councelor would be adviced.
Also, confronting the roots of the problem is probably better than avoiding the subject. 
Many times people avoid or place in the back of their hearts and minds.
When those problems are painful and hard to bear.

They simply do not want to touch them...
But they need to be confronted, otherwise it will keep hurting
And it will keep being along the way, standing in between...
(I will write more about Therapy and its objectives in another post)

It will take time to heal. But you will eventually heal and be happy
With one person you love. Which I know you can.
Take care. P.S. I.l.y.W.

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