The Immortals movie as reviewed in The Phantom TollboothBare Yourself For Battle

Stars: Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Freida Pinto, Stephen Dorff, Luke Evans and John Hurt
Director: Tarsem Singh
Scriptwriters: Vlas Parlapanides and Charley Parlapanides
Cinematography: Brendan Galvin
Composer: Trevor Morris
Relativity Media
Also in 3 D
Rating: R for violence and nudity
Running Length: 112 minutes

After watching this movie, you may want to run a few laps around the parking lot of the theater. Everyone (women, too) are muscular and look as though they are ready for a marathon, Mickey Rourke, included. Also, when going into battle---of which there are many in Immortals---leave most of your clothing on a rock and take only your sword. Thus goes the storyline in Immortals, which is about the gods not wanting to help humans in their struggles, until a brave human, Theseus (Henry Cavill) takes up the cause. All of a sudden, the gods take a second look at Earth. If you want precise ancient mythology, it isn't here. Immortals goes in its own direction.

Basically, the story has Theseus wanting to avenge his mother's death. King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) is the villain, and no one lives after he comes through town. The King wants the Bow of Epirus that hits its target like a bomb. No one wants to go against the King, but Theseus will, aided by a see-into-the-future Oracle (Freida Pinto) to help him. In the meantime, the gods are having their own problems and from here on, the story is muddled as to who is helping who, are the guys and gals wearing gold clothing good or bad, why does everyone live in a cave on a cliff and who needs armor in a battle?

There is mucho violence in Immortals from swinging a chain like a 20-foot razor to using arrows that always hit their target to having a knife always hidden somewhere in your clothing (what little there is of it.) The actors stop to emote, from the grouchy Hyperion to the soft Oracle to the precise Theseus, and then back to battle. As you can imagine special effects abound and they are good, especially the last battle scene. However, when two armies are going to meet in a tunnel, if you sealed up one end, that would end the conflict. Doesn't happen here.

Henry Cavill, who will be Superman in Man of Steel, is an apt Theseus. He tries hard and you can tell. It's easy to tell the difference between good (Theseus) and evil (Hyperion) here, one wears light colored clothing and one is in black. Frieda Pinto, as the Oracle, doesn't have that much to do, except look peaceful. What does catch your eye is the colorful background and costumes of Tarsem Singh the director. I was captivated by Singh's creativity in The Fall and Immortals is quite good, also. Instead of a helmet that covers the head, why not a creation of bright metal like a bird's beak. Entrances to temples that are narrow instead of wide and splashes of color and design where you least expect it. When swords are flailing and bodies fall, you can look at the background scenery to rest your eyes. Immortals really is eye candy.


Copyright 2011 Marie Asner