In the valley of a rollercoaster

It’s hard to stay positive and optimistic about the future. The dark patches can seem to last forever, but the bright days can be intoxicating. It only takes one tiny thing that can destroy that contented feeling, the feeling that everything is going to be okay. It turns you into a blubbering mess of disappointment, failure and defeat. It’s such a rollercoaster. It’s a rollercoaster that I set myself up for though.

YinYangYou fool yourself into the belief that life is improving and that you are moving forward. You see the good in the world, the good in what you are doing. You feel the passion returning to your system and flow through your veins. It’s a farce. It’s not what is actually happening. It’s the power of the mind to be emotional and not be objective of the situation. You fail to take stock and balance the good with the bad; the Ying and the Yang.

FailedIt may be an email, a phone call, a text, a single thought or realisation, a moment in time, and it can bring it all crashing down and flip you the other way. Life isn’t improving, it is moving backward. There is only the bad things happening, there are things that you are not doing well enough or at all. The passion drains from your system and the dark poison of quitting flows through your veins. It’s the power of the mind to be emotional and yet again, not be objective of the situation. It drains your energy, destroys your soul, and withers you. It permeates into every part of your life. Career, Home, Friendships, Business… Family.

It’s not depression or other mental disorder. It could be, but it’s not. It’s that the level of the high is only matched by the level of the low. The expectation of yourself is greater that capability or maybe it is that your capability is greater than your expectation. Either way where the potential is not reached, it falls into the category of the old school report comment “not trying hard enough, improvement required”. By then the energy is gone. How long can you keep putting out the positive energy and high-output for? Why should you keep putting it out there? At least if you only put out the mediocre, then you’re more likely to be on a gentle undulating train ride – less up’s and down’s and much easier to handle.

Except, I don’t want to be mediocre. I was told once “You’re good, but you could be great”. I want to be great. And as much as I don’t want the long and steep downhill rollercoaster, I need to accept that the rollercoaster ride is part of it. I need to remind myself that I am moving forward. I need to use that power of the mind to be less emotional and see it for what it is and make it all that it could be….. Success.

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