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Welfare is another over-debated shit system designed to redistribute Jew gold to trailer parks and ghettos that liberals bitch over. They don't read the fucking bill that describes it, and they then decide that they understand it and have an opinion about it that they can spew onto their citizens. This practice is typical of all liberal politicians.

Welfare recipient making ends meet.
Typical welfare residence
A thinly-veiled analogy to the welfare system.

The Conservative View[edit]

Welfare is a liberal conspiracy, much like "global warming", or AIDS. It's a cash hand out that makes American Workers lazy, and unmotivated to work. People don't deserve free things, you have to work hard in life to get what you want. Everyone knows that being poor is a choice, much like being a homosexual, nigger, or Asian.

The Liberal View[edit]

Welfare is a way for us to redistribute wealth to the poor. People become poor because of things that aren't their fault, like gambling, crack cocaine, or alcohol. People like the struggling minorities, homeless people, single mothers, and starving artists. It helps them get back on their feet, so they can prepare for the coming revolution.

Welfare Timeline[edit]

  • 1935 The first social security bill containing the deranged fetus of what we call Welfare today is birthed
  • 1950’s: Everyone piles on the welfare train
  • 1960’s: Everyone else piles on the welfare train; conservatives everywhere are right that niggers shouldn't be getting money (and rights).
  • 1973: Nixon trolls welfare by making it even more retarded in an attempt to scare the niggers away
  • 1980's: Ronnie trolls welfare some more because niggers be niggers and shit
  • 1996: Billary Cliton makes welfare less about shit being so cash and more about working and children. The percentage of niggers on welfare dropped shortly after by over 9000.

What it actually is[edit]

Simply put, welfare = free money. Welfare came about because Americunts had tons of white guilt over the only thing America did right; slavery. Since niggers hate working, they took advantage of the white guilt, and got welfare passed. Ever since, niggers have taken advantage of this system, and are still enraged because in the past massa was whippin' dem in da cotton fields, despite the fact that the whitey actually rescued them from their AIDS and death-ridden hole. They then provided them with better living conditions, educated them, and then essentially handed over the entire country to them in exchange for a century or two of hard work. Indeed, welfare is one of many ways that the Pure Race has proven that unlike their ancestors, they are good people. In contrast, the ancient Egyptians did it right by kidnapping the Jewz, working them to death on massive monuments, and then kicking them the fuck out of the country. (This is a lie - the Jews are originally from Turkey and were never in Egypt at all).

What it really really is[edit]

Welfare is blackmail money paid by the working and middle classes to the underclasses so that the underclasses do not riot or break into their houses and steal shit. The rich, of course, pay no tax and so don't pay the blackmail, but that's fair because they protect themselves by hiring private security and living in fortresses.

Naturally, when the underclasses riot on the streets and break into houses to rob/murder the working and middle class people anyway, those people start to wonder why the fuck they are paying all that blackmail money.

Social Security[edit]

We'll leave this to the next generation...


—Every Generation on Social Security

Social Security is more commonly known as that big chunk of money you see chopped off your pay check each week. It then goes into the bottomless pit which you'll later have access to when you retire to use on the slot machines at the local Red Man's casino. The basic idea is that you pay into this fund as you work, and when you retire, you can start taking back what you paid to the fund as you worked. Oh and spoiler alert: it’s about to go bankrupt.

Unsurprisingly, Americunts somehow managed to fuck up what could have been one of the simplest programs in the world: Put money in; Wait thirty years; Take money out; ????; great success. But no, politicians and jews decided to fuck the life out of the program by over complicating the shit out of it, once again shitting on middle class America. It is also well known that Congress has been using the money put into the social security to fund their late night strip parties and heroin addictions for the last 100 years. Only recently, as the unforeseeable generation of baby boomers all of the sudden began to retire, politicians realized that they had spent all of the money, but didn't give a shit because they're already filthy rich and don't need social security. The solution? Pass the flaming bag of dog shit onto the next generation, so they can fuck it up and repeat.

Interestingly enough, this is the only form of social welfare that the Tea Party endorses, despite it being government mandated money fucking. Most likely because every single one of them is roughly At least 100 years old and living off the dying fund. It is also the only program that is essentially nigger-proof, as it requires the collector to have held down a job for more than an hour, which only makes it look sweeter to the tea baggers.

Welfare Fraud[edit]

You’d think this would be pretty difficult huh? Well fuck off. You fucking liberal hippy, this is what niggers and Mexicans all across our great country are doing to steal your money.

  • 1. Apply for welfare
  • 2. Claim you have over 9000 childrens
  • 3. ????
  • 4. PROFIT

At least she didn't get an abortion! :D
All coming to get yer welfarez
What they do with ur taxes

The Tea Party and Welfare[edit]

Conservatives rightfully sure hate welfare
Indonesian Muslim turned Welfare thug,


—Mark Williams on Barack Hussein Obama

Contrary to popular belief, Tea Party activists are strong advocates for welfare and unemployment aid. Often misunderstood, these patriotic Americans believe it is their duty to serve the poor and help level the playing fields for the lesser fortunate members of society.

It's not fair. Many of these men and women were born into abject poverty without a fighting chance to make in today's turbulent economy. We Americans need to let go of our primal greed, and realize there are people who will never know the luxury of a home, 3D LED TV, or a 5-Series BMW. All they need is a caring hand to help them back on feet.



The Tea Party's position to "end the bailouts" for example is just silly. Bailouts are just big money welfare, and isn't that what we want all coloreds to strive for? What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare? What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds!


—Mark William's famous nigger impression

Glenn Beck has even more positive things to say about Welfare:

And over 9000 more positive things to say about poor people:

People Who Depend On Welfare[edit]

Gallery of Rewarded Fail[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also[edit]

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