As a Cuban American, I am not offended by this at all, so all of you non-Cubans can shut up about it* + Civil War Pt 3

I absolve you, you deep fried queen of the south.  May the set of knives with your name on the blades in my kitchen remain forever sharp.

Paula Deen

Hell, she fired the person who posted this and pulled it immediately. For the people who were all “if it wasn’t racist, why’d she delete it?”, she deleted because of people like this guy and everyone else who is all “Saved for evidence of racism!”

Besides, isn’t this just white-face?  You see, Desi Arnaz and many Cubans, myself included, are basically just white guys who tan really well.  Now that White-Hispanics are a thing, liberal white people have made it so that we’re not even allowed to be “People of Color” anymore.  Probably because a lot of Cubans have an anti-communist bent for understandable reasons.

This did get me thinking about food, though.  There’s a decent overlap between southern down home cooking and Cuban cuisine.  My mom, who grew up in the north, remembers how people thought she and her family were weird and crazy with their red beans, rice, fried porkchops & vinegar and whatnot; down in the south, though, no one bats an eye at red beans & rice.  Fried anything is good.  Food transcends race and could be bringing everyone together if people stopped saying that eating other cultures’ food is racist.  Down here in the south, we’ll eat anything.

Speaking of the South, if the South rises again, it certainly won’t be the next few turns of Civil War.  After all of the chaotic scurrying in the Trans-Mississippi in the first two turns, my endeavors there amounted to little more than a temporary distraction.  I overallocated my command resources there while I didn’t have the manpower or generals to take advantage of it.  Meanwhile, though Johnston and Jeb Stuart were able to split Kentucky down the middle, them union boys were able to get into Nashville by boat from Cairo.  Fort Donelson & Fort Henry were both burned to the ground, and an out-of-supply Army of the Tennessee had to fight their way back over rivers toward the capital, surrendering Kentucky to the damn Yankees.  That’s not the worst of it, though. That bastard Foot sailed down the coast of Virginie and into North Carolina and seized several ports.  The Army of Northern Virginia’s far too busy keeping McDowell in check and on his side of the Mason Dixie to pull back and do anything about it, and even if they could, it would leave the road to Richmond wide open.  I don’t know that I’ll ever get enough guys to do anything about them, because the Rebs have garbage railroads.  I’ll need at least a two star general to march off and do something about those ports.  At least my Texas rangers ran off those damn Injuns!

I’m not worried about losing or doing poorly, though.  My dad needs to break his losing streak.  The best part is, I can honestly say I’m not going easy on him.  Taking both the Tennessee heartland and the Carolina coastline was a master stroke.  The idea of Stonewall Jackson burning down supply depots all over Kansas and Missouri may have been neat and exciting, but it was ultimately derping around when I should’ve been focusing on keeping the rivers open.

*: If you’re Cuban and are actually upset by this, fine, whatever, but white tumblrites and twitter hipsters getting offended on our behalf can sod off.



    • One has to wonder how things might’ve played out if the Union did not have the massive leadership deficit early in the war. I’ll admit that it’s been years since I’ve read any civil war history, but what struck me was the North’s almost pollyanna attitude toward conflict and the situation on the ground at the outset of the war, which often found itself reflected in the tactics of the Union generalship in the first major encounters. “Why, Richmond’s right down the road! All we have to do is put on our dress blues, march south and take it!”

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