Pushing off despite the emotional weather :)

Harry and I were treated to bacon and eggs at Val's for breakfast! A real treat, as we haven't been eating a lot of bacon at our house of late, as our roommate Talon calls bacon "The Devil's Foreskin". I love it but have not wanted to eat it either because:
a) I don't  want to offend him by eating it in front of him or stinking up the house with it
and b) haven't want to make him sick
and c) haven't wanted to hear the nasty comments about it :)

So I ate bacon with guiltless glee.

I have to also prefice this note with an apology. "I'm sorry I was such a baby yesterday and cried and pissed and moaned about shit."

I seem to have said this alot in my life. I truly need to release my emotions sometimes and get it out. Poor Harry. I was pretty much weepy for all the rest of the trip thru the rest of VA and all of NC...worried about stuff at home and doctors and such....until Harry says...gently..."Are you maybe PMS'ing?"

This would normally bring a knife blade to his heart. A stab wound justly and deftly applied. But to which I weepingly and weakly said, "Yah, it couldn't be all this OTHER stuff....." and then dried my tears and started to let it go. (Of course he WAS partially right...damn it :)

The day then opened up to a most beautiful day driving thru NC. The world was covered in ice.
The trees looked like they were made of tinsel. Glittering in the sunshine....silver trees shining like crystal. The wee bit of snow that they did have, had a sheen of ice layering over the top which made the snow look like some silver frosting. Like the world was spray painted silver. The fields, lawns and rooftops looked like sculpted sheet metal. Thankfully, the roads were all dry and bare, which only made the ice sheen more unusual.

I had to let go my worries in the midst of all this beauty. The road opened up and Harry was excited watching the temperature gauge rise on the Suburu.
"It's 34!"
 "It's now 42!!!"
"Getting warmer honey!"

Harry is a sturdy man. I do love him for that. I tend to be pretty flighty. I'm kinda like Dory in "Finding Nemo" sometimes. I tend to obsess a bit ( P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney....) yet then can forget it just as easilly. She's got short term memory loss. I may tend to obsess and put my mates thru a lot....then squeeze it out like a sponge and expect that they will forget the bad just like I've already forgotten and move on like I've already done.

Must be a Gemini thing. :)

I do need a sturdy love and sturdy friends. I tend to put folks thru a lot. I obsess. I rant. I rave. I change my mind. I forget and go on to the next and have already forgotten the drama. People need to be sturdy with me.

I consider myself sturdy. I'm flighty and sturdy. I obsess and I forget.

Yah. It must be a Gemini thing?

There's nothing I can do about the problems back at home. They will be worked on and solved another day and by the efforts of myself and others at another time.

In the voice in my head is one of my favorite heroines, Scarlett O'Hara who is now saying to me,
"Oh fiddle dee dee. I'll think about that tomorrow."

And so I shall. :)

So now, it's Onward!

I am currently sitting on the couch at Ravyn's...having morning coffee, chatting and catching up...and planning our day ahead.

We will be traveling to Fort Myers.to set up a tent for a green room and check out the faire site. Looking forward to seeing friends there, finding our stages, check our schedule and getting the lay of the land. Then on to Dre and Max's house and visiting them and laying out our garb for the morrow.

I just had to laugh. Ravyn said, "I think I'm turning into an alligator." (talking about dry skin)

I had to laugh, because it rang so true a bit emotionally....

Maybe that's what I am lately. An alligator. I have lots of sharp teeth and jaws, that' for sure. They are one of my best features. (I have heard it said, that my sarcasm is one of my gifts and my curses). I sometimes cry Crocodile Tears. (real tears...tho, they may be temporary until I get out the bad karma). Maybe I need to grow a thicker, scaly skin in life. Maybe I need to not let things bother me so much. Maybe I need to stop eating people. Or maybe I'm just hungry and need to eat the right one so I am full. Allilgators like the sun and laying around. Can be very active or lie dormant and think (do alligator's actually think with their reptile brain? I don't know.) They hatch their eggs and when their children are grown, they are on their own, to be their own selves.

We may be going to Deerfield Beach next week to visit and we'll be driving, if so....
thru Alligator Alley.

Hmmmm....maybe a theme is emerging after all.

Will write again as soon as I can.


MissLorieO said...

Love your words, love your heart; you are flighty and you are a rock when needed. (and yes, you are truly a gemini.)

Debbi said...

Just one question... Why, why, why do men always think obsessions, worry and emotions are a PMS thing? When they are throwing tools, breathing fire, and looking to kill anything that moves, we don't say it's a "dick" thing.... O.K., so maybe we do... toads.

LynnieBee said...

*giggles* Maybe it is a Gemini thing. Master Michael is the first Gemini I have ever been romantically involved with, and I am amazed at his ability to be deeply upset about something one minute, and have made complete peace with it the next...ah well, we support each other, just as we will all support you :) *hugs*