Saturday, May 26, 2012

The New Divide - Petrol guys vs Diesel guys

After being divided by states, regions, languages, communities, wealth, haves and have nots (and what not) we now have a new divide sponsored by the government itself!. The petrol guys versus the diesel guys. I have been already laughed at by the diesel guys for owning a petrol car which, they sniggered, has already lost out 20% of its resale value. 'You poor petrol guys,' they laughed and sniggered. I did not know what to say except that I sharply said I had no intention of selling my car at a 20% discount now.

The diesel guys looked smug, happy that they have cars that run on cheap fuel that the government will not touch even if they have luxury cars. We petrol guys for no fault of ours have been singled out by the government and I suspect we are probably footing the bill for the diesel guys. In fact since most petrol is actually adulterated with kerosene as far as my knowledge goes, we are actually paying more (getting less petrol in the first place, getting more kerosene in the second place, and footing the kerosene subsidy as well - all in one litre of petrol!!)

Anyway, one of the diesel guys said 'you bloody tax payers, you petrol guys, serves you right!'. That was when I researched a bit and found that the petrol and diesel guys have completely different psychological profiles. The petrol guys are the low risk, government job types who like the soft purring cars as opposed to diesel cars which are somehow seen as beasts that one cannot handle. This petrol bunch is also seen as the tax paying guys by my apparently non-tex paying friends, who will not fight or resist (naturally a good bunch to impose price hikes upon) and who will at best stop going out or stopping selling their cars. They will be like people stuck in unhappy marriages - won't get out, won't get in. They will be there.

On the other hand the diesel car types are the ones who are aware and alive to opportunity. They will try new stuff and are not scared of handling the beasts. They will be the ones to wear new clothes, try new brands and stuff like that. They are the entrepreneurs, the let's-see-what-happens-later, I can handle it types. They are enterprising, are capable of raising loans unlike the petrol guys who fear loans. They are also the type who will get themselves diesel cars at prices that will be the cost of the petrol guy's house.

Anyway, as of now the government decided that petrol guys must bear it. They have cornered the right segment - the stoic, we will bear it all without a murmur crowd will keep paying or suffering until they die. The cars will remain at their homes, well polished and clean and started only so the battery does not die, and will go small distances with their families, once a week. Their fuel costs have gone up, their savings will come down, their reputations are now in tatters, their outings have reduced - in one stroke the government has discriminated wildly against this hapless segment who will now resort to ordering stuff online and watching Travel programs on television. (I also hear that some sensitive types are considering drastic action - like buying Idea 3G which seems to be the answer to all things - shove that phone into your car and it might run all the way to heaven!)

I suggest a Save the Petrol Car User Association. We cannot handle this kind of trauma, such discrimination from our secular government. What is secular about such discrimination? Nothing. They are outright discriminatory. It's written all over that we are petrol guys. We will be targeted by everyone based on our psycho profile. From petrol thieves to traders, parking wallas to traffic police,e everyone will now treat the petrol guys differently. We must do something now before it is too late.

But despite all this there is one great comfort. The diesel guy will always be second best. They can get subsidised all they want but they will never enjoy the one ride we petrol guys take on a Sunday, or at midnight (when we consume less petrol) as much. Ah, we petrol guys will enjoy every single metre of the ride from now on.

1 comment:

Dr. Seven said...

Great theory! I have seen character assessments based on type of car (sedan, van, sports car, etc.), but the type of fuel used is an interesting addition. There are other types to add to your classification (the lesser groups compared to petrol and diesel) like natural gas, electric, and hybrid cars. Perhaps we will see updates to the theory? :)