Don't Believe Anything You Read.



Breaking News: Sombrero Spotted over Gulf of Mexico - Panic Widespread Among Believers.


Perverted Dad's Hold Festival

Tampa - Thousands of perverted fathers to gather in celebration, honoring 10 years of blaming their children for pornographic temporary internet files.   Door prize is free admission to a one-handed web surfing course, which will be held immediately after the "Beastiality can be cool" exhibition.



First Karaoke Tune Banned

Berkeley, CA - In a first-ever banning, the popular Karaoke song - Free Bird, by Lynard Skynard was officially banned.  The ban specifically targets those who sing the song with "a significant amount of conviction".  This, following countless episodes of gagging, eye bleeding and suicide in bars across the United States.

Appeals were made, crying 'Unconstitutionality' of the ban.  In response - Judge Dills, "I actually like the song, But...if our forefathers had been subjected to some sorry son of a bitch singing Free Bird, while nearly bursting into tears - there would have been an extra amendment called - 'Tie the short hairs on your ass to the long hairs on your head and then getting the ever-living shit kicked out of you.'"  No further appeals are expected at this time.



New Type of Movie

Hollywood - An entirely new type of movie is set to come out this year - which has a cop that doesn't do things by the book.  It is expected to be riveting



Breaking News: Taco Bell removes menu items, raises prices, in efforts to bring in more customers.