Looking at it from both sides

Sunday, December 06, 2015tee

In the midst of insomnia one night, I thought: God's design for parenthood could never be more perfect. If given the chance, you actually could be in both roles - as a child and then a parent. You have the experience of what goes on with a child, the need to be a receiver of love and wisdom, the need to be guided in the world. You get to be a parent too, making hard choices for your child's sake and your heart breaking a little bit each time he cries. You want to make everything right, to pick them up and tell them everything is alright. But then you realise they have to learn on their own too. To be independent. The ultimate goal of parenting is to rear independent, mature individuals who can manage to survive on their own. In a few years time, of course.

I've said this more than enough, but it gives me an in-depth appreciation of our parents, and how I pray to be blessed to rear Jaden as they have raised me. You can never be too old to be a child to your parents, no matter if you've become a parent yourself. Truth of the matter is, they've been there long before and the wisdom that came with all the years and children - priceless. I now understand what mama would tell me before, "Trust me on this. You will regret if you do this." "It won't matter now, but when you grow up, you'll think and say I should've listened to mama." All the while, she was right. She knew even at the time I was so hard-headed and scratched my legs so hard that I'd regret it when I'd wear shorts much later. How many times she knew she was right, but I was so adamant to prove her wrong with my hard-headedness and naivety. Because seriously, why would I think of shorts when the mosquitoes had just a feast on my legs? I also recall when I was much younger, I'd tease papa about his greying hair. He'd smile and reply, "These are years of wisdom, my dear." Parents and their wisdom, valuable than pearls indeed.

Having been a child,  you get the compassion and understanding of what a child really needs, and the need for independence. You know the need to explore and seek adventure, to look at the world with curiosity, and trusting eyes. You know in a child's eyes the possibilities are endless, limitless and somehow, you have to put rules, guidelines and restrictions to steer them away from trouble. As a parent, you feel the need to nurture, care, protect and just give the little one the best. If not the world's best, your own. Your heart breaks a little bit each time they cry and want to be picked up while they are settling down to sleep (gah, sleep training!) , or when they are trying to learn to crawl and couldn't reach that toy at the farther end. You stop yourself from stooping in quickly and rescuing them, because in the end, it's for the best. 

One thing for sure, I haven't had this parenting thing figured out to the science yet. And I doubt that I ever will. But I know I have my parents to lean on and bug when I have doubts and questions, and parenting dilemmas. Like food allergies, teething... and later on, puberty, haha. I may have flipped over to the other side to be a parent now, but they've been at it way longer than I have and that has to account for something. It's so amazing to "cross over" and have a glimpse (even for a few months) of what they've been through, and be oh-so-thankful and appreciative. It's not easy like they make this look, after all. But it's okay, each and every day is another opportunity to learn and learn, and hopefully, each day, get better at it.

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