Have You Been Fooled? 4-1-19


Bad News For Flat Earthers

From my April 2019 Sidebar (a quick summary:)
"Closing Thoughts, and Final Summaries for the month: Hey reality; why do you seem so faulty?..Okay; so in 2019 we have the interwebs for knowledge and proof; and long-range beam weapons, 100+ mile lasers, 1000X optical zooms, that 102+ mile bridge in Japan that should show a 3800 ft. high "bulge" in the middle (if you believe in the curvature equation), and still--we have zero proof of any curve or movement to our world. One would think that there is NO argument left existing for one side of the flat/globe debate, right? How hard is this; or are you just stupid? Earth is geocentric and stationary, people; deal with it. We all got played!"

Ha. Is the shape of the earth a pinball, or is the shape of the earth a playfield? I really don't care anymore. I hope that YOUR earth is whatever shape you believe it to be. Pictures, descriptions and accounts are in; right? Round. Ball. Oblate shpheroid? Stay there; with all of that. Treat flat-earth like the heroin it is, and don't even sample it. Flat earth did not need me, and flat earth does not need you.

It's not that you got punked individually--ALL OF US got punked. Big time. Let's pick a topic: "The shape of the earth." Okay. They have been running a multi-layered, mirrored-ceiling funhouse scam on us for at least 500 years. Yup. So; it's not JUST that you missed it, globe human. Your (globe) parents also missed it. And your (globe) grandparents didn't know to look. In fact; the previous 25 generations of your family existence have all fallen for this same incredible sales pitch--back to 1492 (yes). Round-earthers have CGI "proof" to back up their spherical world; men in lab coats say it's round, men in military uniforms say earth is round, scholars claim curvature is everywhere; eclipses are round, sun/moon are round, other planets appear round, blah blah blah, round round round. If you don't challenge it early in your life, and NONE of us did, then it is a devastating revelation to learn that you have been duped about the shape of your world. 500 years of unquestionably unchallenged fact; the earth is round. Okay. Good for us. Flat earth is a tangent, anyway. My hill to die on is the fake moon landing. The shape of water can wait.

I want to go back to the 2 years BEFORE I flattened out in July of 2018, when I still believed in the '3rd rock from the sun'. Dark thoughts? Perhaps. I wanted to dissolve this entire 'planet' earth, into inverted nothingness, so as to make it like this world had never existed. This should be the purpose of time travel: Go back to before the monkeys-with-brains experiment, and eliminate the (very feminine) idea for some kind of equality/sustainment attempt here. We need to PRE-ABORT the human agenda; the Original "Earth Control Pill". Save this beautiful place by saying NO to the brain monkey virus. Easy-peasy.

If time travel is impossible, then bring on the following: Fire, flood, famine, pulse, poison, pole-reversal; all of these, and more. Look around and soak in what our manifested destiny hath wrought. Run these earth-planet smart monkeys up in to the trees; thin the herd, and streamline our focus. This isn't murder; this is a haircut. A make-over. "Flipping" a species. Weeding. Somebody has to care about this planet, and it is evident that humans do not.

I don't want to talk to you about moon landings. And I don't want to debate you on planetary alignment. I did my conspiracy shouting back in the 80's, over just a couple of obviously faked NASA photos, long before the instant internet arguments that are available now. No; I wanted to chainsaw the masses years before this past Summer. "I'm not here to educate you past your postage stamp view--I just want to 'mail' you to a galaxy far, far away." Bye bye sheeple! This flat earth stuff now just makes me more hopeful for a tidal wave, and ripples...Also; let's have more kabooms. I used to hate the idea of human-based underwater/underground explosions, and fracking, and strip-mining; but now I consider these quality human interventions. Let's just bomb the F out of everything; land, water, air, space--who needs any of it? Humans are so cool! Evolution is learning to breathe whatever atmospheric sludge is left. Fun. Wait.

Oop. Ha ha. Sorry. I got sidetracked in my own little 5-paragraph essay, and blew up the earth myself--that wasn't my plan. Let's try again: Bad News For Flat-Earthers; I'm now one of you! But I'm not promoting it AT ALL! I don't want my best friend in it, and I won't let my girlfriend anywhere near it. I wouldn't WISH this kind of insanity on anybody. People are stupid, and only see what they want to see, anyway. Right? So I use "flat-earth" mentions to end conversations that I didn't want to be in, anyway.

Flat earthers? We are some crazy, tin-foil-hat wearing mad cows full of conspiratorial half-truths! You don't want ANY of this mess. How could a rational person possibly consider such "flat" foolishness in the internet age? We've been on a spinning ball earth, zooming in at least 3.5 different directions, at over 1.5 million miles an hour, for 2000+ years. Never mind that the sun is 93 million miles away; because the earth is moving 186 million miles every six months (to the other side of the sun). And everybody knows that. Science! Aww; your little lab coats are so cute.

No. Screw all of this. I am going to fully disinform BOTH franchises in the 'pizza or meatball' earth debate; I'm going to darken the waters so much that the "mudfloods of Tartaria" will look like a spilled bottle of Evian. And I'll flip sides so often that you'll think I'm a Trump advisor! FFS; any 3 yr. old with working eyes can prove that the earth is geocentric and stationary, just like I did; duh, but I'm not telling you. Go ask a 3 yr. old. Your heliocentric haze might be enlightened by speaking to somebody less indoctrinated than yourself. See? Yes. You read that correctly; I am saying that most 3 yr. olds are smarter than the University professors who want to argue with me. Hey; how do you keep a globe-earther in suspense? I'll tell you right after we land on the moon. Ha.

Sorry Flat Earth, but NOBODY wants me on their team anymore. And that's good; because I'm not a team player anyway. I can still get reactions out of people, though, and that's still fun, but nobody is paying me for exclusivity. So I will not be a pure soldier of flat earth, as there are far too many people here already. I'd actually like to see some of our own Flathead V8's wander back over the programming bridge. Why? (Here we go:) Because nobody cares about an atheist finding God. But if a Christian flat-earther had a revelation that God said "Let there be globe."; wow, now that would be a powerful sales pitch for the folks in charge. It sure seems like they would have at least faked some 'Finding God with the spinning ball theory of corporate allegiance' on Fox News by now. But who am I to tell a government how to operate? I'd probably give out free health care, too, and nobody wants that.

I mean; IF your bottom line goal is to replace God, then just admit it. Tell people on tv 'Biblical Flat earth is an old God; now we have science, and a blue marble.' See? That sounds really tight, right? Try it! Tell folks to 'Stay with what you know'. It's not like people (over 3) are all filled up with "smartness" right now. Strike with that hot iron! Force people to choose; BEFORE they have all the facts--as nobody "chooses" to go flat. It seems so easy to me. But; again, who am I to tell a government how to operate? I'd probably give out free birth control, too, and nobody wants that.

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