Dear Apple iPhone 4 Marketing Team

Dear Apple iPhone 4 Marketing Team,

I can still remember the original iPhone commercials from 2007. They excited and amazed me, and I wasn't even planning on buying one.

Three years later: I pre-ordered an iPhone 4, but this time around, I haven't seen any ads that really get me here (pointing to head) and here (pointing to heart).

Yes, I've seen the seven-minute demo for the iPhone 4 on Apple's Youtube channel. It was impressive. The specs are pretty awesome. Whatever.

How are people going to know how cool I am if they haven't been exposed to months of hip Apple ads, preparing them for the moment when I pull this little fourth generation dandy out of my pocket at a party?

"Oh. That must be the new iPhone," someone will say blandly.

When I unveil this puppy for the first time in front of new acquaintances, I want them to have a Vietnam-style flashback to the countless times they stood, wide-eyed in front of the TV, drooling over the sweetest phone they'd ever laid eyes on. I want them to hear the music.

I want them to hear this music-

Imagine with me if you will: a sweet flyby of the new features; you know- do that whole iPhone hanging in space against a white or black background while some guy with a manicure gives us a demo, but show everything from the front or back, and then, when Huey Lewis says "hip to be square" BAM! Flip that bitch sideways so everyone can see how slim and square the profile is.

Don't make this ad just to move product, Apple iPhone 4 Marketing Team. (Although it will move product.) Do it for the tools like me who want to feel like rock stars for the first few months, while pulling one out can still be a conversation starter.

Sebastian Braff


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