Thursday, May 30

Airplane gate crowded by selfish monkey-brained fucktards.

COLUMBUS, OH - Despite tickets indicating assigned seats in boarding groups 6 and 7, a group of assholes stood in front of gate A-35 causing confusion among passengers in earlier boarding groups and generally fucking up the works at John Glenn International today, and, let's face it, every day. 
"It makes a ton of sense when you consider the fact that these people ARE THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE!"  One annoyed passenger screamed toward the clusterfuck in question. 

A gentle announcement over the intercom by the gate agent did next to nothing to move the crowd back and out of the way of people just trying to make it to other gates in the main terminal. 
Fucktards as far as the eye can see
A clinical psychologist traveling to a connection in Charlotte offered some analysis. 
"I think somewhere deep in the recesses of the mind people are worried about being left behind." Dr. Rhonda Wilson noted, literally, in a tiny notebook. "It's fascinating to me that while we used to have to fight to survive each day, our fundamental instincts are now satisfied by the fight for overhead space." 
Southwest Airlines has figured out a way to stop the gate-clogging madness by lining people up in numerical order. Assholes who fly Southwest can be seen at the edge of the baggage carousel at your final destination, blocking your view because their bag is far more important.