The Stork Bag's 12 Hilarious Yet True Signs You Might Be A New Mom

Your 40 weeks of pregnancy are over! The months of day-dreaming and planning are behind you- time to finally mother a real, live baby! Is it everything you thought it would be? Yes, of course! But it’s a lot of what you didn’t prepare for, despite being warned by your fellow mommy friends.  Below is our list of signs that you might be a new mom-so funny you might laugh-if you weren’t so exhausted.  Hang in there and enjoy!

  1. You find yourself swaying back and forth, as if rocking a baby, even when you aren’t holding a baby.
  2. You can move like a ninja when the baby is sleeping: stealth, quiet and efficient.
  3. In the middle of the night, you are insanely jealous of all the people in the world who are sleeping and would actually pay money to trade with them.
  4. You have never gone to bed so early in your life. Ever.
  5. Even though you are so sleep deprived, you can’t help but watch your baby sleep and end up ruining your chance to catch up on sleep more often than you’d like to admit.
  6. Your clothes can also be used as dish towels and burp cloths- and worn for at least a day or two longer than they should be worn.
  7. Baby messes of all kinds, I repeat- ALL KINDS, completely don’t faze you.
  8. Baby “brain” is a real thing. Exhaustion has turned you into a person/zombie that has to write everything down.
  9. You can swaddle with your eyes closed- because you often do.
  10. Bowel movements become something to be celebrated now! From the baby, not you.
  11. Personal hygiene is on a temporary hiatus- it’s OK if you can’t remember the last time you brushed your teeth and hair.
  12. Every time your partner looks rested or tells people “It’s not that bad! We get enough sleep!”- you have to resist the strong urge to dump your coffee on his head. But you need it too much, so you don’t.


What was/is your tell-tale sign that you were/are a new mom? We would love to hear about it in the comments below!

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