Monday, January 30, 2017

The most emotionally unintelligent season of #thebachelor ever

Photo courtesy @bachelorABC on Twitter

I have so much I could be doing, need to be doing, but yet, it's Monday night, and here I am.

We pick back up on the cat fight that is Corinne vs. Taylor. Taylor is describing what emotional intelligence is. She's a mental health professional, after all. Corinne thinks Taylor is all about herself and drama.

I don't see anything intelligent about Corinne, emotional or otherwise. Raven doesn't think Corinne has done anything personally to Taylor, but is sure Taylor is psychoanalyzing her. I gather Raven isn't Taylor's biggest fan. Oh, Corinne just accused Taylor of being a *itch and always having a stank face.

I'm trying to decide if I hate Corinne more than Olivia from a few seasons ago. Possibly.

Corinne goes to talk to Nick. She says Taylor isn't nice and that she's scared of her. She shares that she doesn't think Taylor is there for the right reasons. Mean, vindictive, I don't even know what to call her. Nick encourages her to keep being mature.

Hopefully, they'll both be gone tonight. That way I don't have to worry about typing Corinne vs. Corinne because I have it both ways in this blog post and noticed I had that problem on last week's post too. I'm trying to fix tonight's. I was so inconsistent last week, I had to fix it. I may have to go back on the whole season because it bugs me.

From here on out, her name shall be Corn.

Chris Harrison comes along. It's rose time. Chris and Nick chat a little. Nick comments these are mature women here. HUH? Anyway, we've gone from 30 to 15. Now two more will be leaving tonight.

Danielle L., Kristina and Raven have roses from last week. As he calls names, the women are blowing smoke. Literally. It must be freezing. They are wearing coats over their dresses which is really unusual.

  1. Whitney
  2. Danielle M.
  3. Jasmine
  4. Rachel
  5. Jaimi
  6. Josephine (I think she was in shock)
  7. Vanessa
  8. Alexis
  9. Corn
  10. Taylor

This means leaving tonight are Astrid and Sarah.

Now, they are all going to head off to New Orleans. 

As they land, I hope Alexis never tries her Louisiana accent and that shimmy again.

Raven suspects either Corn or Taylor will buy a voodoo doll.

They stay in a high rise hotel and some act as if they have never been in a hotel before. Jumping on the beds. Really?

The first date card arrives, courtesy of Chris Harrison. Three dates. One-on-One date, group date, and two-on-one date. He leaves the card no the table and smartly walks off.

"Rachel... Where have you beignet all my life?"

When she arrives, she greets him with a kiss that turns into almost turns into way too far nasty PDAs. I'm pretty sure her outfit is made up of a one piece swimsuit and some shorts the way her top is. Who dresses like that normally?

They have oysters. Do hot sauce shots with them. Then, they go for their beignets.

Nick says he's the most chemistry with Rachel as with anyone there. They dance down the street in a parade. The women watch in jealousy from above.

They wander into a club with live music and get their dance on. Later, they have "dinner" in Mardi Gras World, which from what I can tell, is a warehouse of decorations.

They talk about their families. Her parents have been married 36 years, Nick's for 38. Rachel's father is a federal judge in Dallas. He talks about how he should address her father when he meets him. Nick talks about having asked two other fathers for permission to propose to their daughters. From the conversation, he plans to keep her at least until hometowns. Nick says he may be breaking rules, but he is super into her. She really likes him. He presents her with the date rose.

Next date card arrives! "Til death do us part! Josephine, Kristina, Alexis, Raven, Jaimi, Vanessa, Danielle M., Whitney, Jasmine, Danielle L."

Corn and Taylor know that means they will be going on the two-on-one together. Further proof that the producers run the show. They do this when they know we're all sick of the two women because they two are sick of the women.

Corn thinks this tastes like victory. Taylor hopes Corn feels threatened. Raven seems glad they will fight and claw to the death. Heck, they might kill each other alone with Rachel in the suite while everyone is on the group date.

The next morning, they take a bus out to a plantation. Raven says Nick looks "fine as a dime." The house is one of the most haunted houses in New Orleans. They head in and the bartender/caretaker of the house serves them Mint Juleps and tells them about the house. He tells them about the ghost, an 8 year old named Mae who died of yellow fever. She's always looking for her doll. Boo gives them a tour of the house.

Some women don't want to make the ghost mad. Some take it all way too seriously. Some don't believe any of it, of course. Vanessa wants no part of the Ouija board. While they play, the lights go off. Nick takes two volunteers with candles to go looking to see if May's doll is up in her room. It's gone. They go back into the room where some are still playing with the Ouija board.

Josephine and Jasmine go looking with Nick in the room that had a covered statue. When they lift the covering, a chandelier falls.

At the hotel, Corn is giving herself a facial and taking a bubble bath. She has champagne and orders lots of food from room service (and asks to be sure she gets change from the waiter). 

The women take their one-on-one time with Nick and alternately get freaked out in the house at noises. Some of the women think Mae is out for Jasmine for touching her hat earlier. At first, Jasmine didn't believe in any of it. By the end of the night, she believes in ghosts

At the hotel, Rachel talks to Corn, then both Taylor and Corn. Rachel says she thinks both are misunderstood in some ways. Neither wants to stay if the other one does anyway. The date card arrives.

"Corinne and Taylor - meet me in the Bayou."

Vanessa thinks she's connecting with the ghost more. They ask their flickering candles questions like they will get some kind of answer.

Who will get the enchanted rose, kept under a dome like on Beauty and the Beast? Of course, every commercial break, they are promoting the live Beauty and the Beast coming soon.

Raven says she wasn't nervous until they went skating and she fell in love with him. She said that part by accident. She doesn't get the rose though. It went to Danielle M.

The next morning, Corn and Taylor roll their suitcases to the door so that at least one can be picked up when Nick sends someone home. 

Nick acknowledges two-on-one dates can be awkward, but he wants them to have one.

Taylor says it shouldn't be hard. She has a master's degree in clinical mental health counseling and doesn't have a nanny. She has "emotional intelligence." There's that term again.

They take a boat down the river and walk the creepy crawliness that is the bayou. They get a lesson in New Orleans voodoo, including the dolls. They were meant to be a part of healing, not harm. The priestess introduces them to a reader. They get a tarot card reading. Because of the tension, the reader asks to read just one of them at a time. The reader goes with Taylor first.

Corn and Nick walk off to talk. To the cameras, Corn calls Taylor a Swamp Monster. We'll see if she tells Nick that. Corn tells Nick that Taylor emotionally attacked her.

Meanwhile, the reader talks about the tension, emotional toxicity, etc. What the producers told her.

While Corn gets read, Nick and Taylor go off. Nick addresses with Taylor what Corn told her. He says he knows there's too sides to every story. Nick says Corn felt mistreated and called names. Nick seems to fully believe Corn yet admits his surprise. Taylor brings up "emotional intelligence" to Nick.

Corn is told her mouth will get her in trouble by the reader. Corn asks about voodoo dolls and making them specific to a person.

By her demeanor, there's no way that Nick is going to keep Taylor around. She doesn't do a good job of defending herself, at least we don't see it. Taylor calls Corn on her lies and twisting her words. Corn can't believe Taylor is a mental health counselor. Taylor can't believe Corn runs a multi-million dollar company.

Nick doesn't feel like he has an easy decision, but it's not how Corn and Taylor feel about each other, but how he feels about them. Nick joins them at the table with the rose and gives a speech. He know how difficult, blah, blah, blah. He gives it to Corn. He turns to Taylor and says it was the most difficult decision he's made since he's been there. He hugs her and she wanders off. Nick and Corn go the opposite direction. Then Taylor goes back to the table where they had been sitting to watch Corn and Nick leave in a boat.

Taylor doesn't go off as she promised in her interviews.

I'm going to get sick as Corn and Nick suck face in the boat. Taylor wanders through the bayou back to where the people who welcome them are singing. The priestess and others do some kind of ceremony with Taylor. Taylor says she will not leave without saying her peace.

Corn and Nick have dinner in a typical empty building. Corn is glad the negative energy is gone and is glad Nick trusted her. Corn tries to lay on her charm. It's working with Nick.

Taylor interrupts the date and tells Nick she needs to talk to him. That's where it ends for the night with previews of Taylor "speaking her truth to Nick."

I think both may end up going home because another woman comments about how they didn't expect two people to go home on the two-on-one.

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