

 Golf: "A  game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood." -Samuel Johnson

"Golf is like  a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's not fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart." -Arnold Daly

 "No matter  what happens- never give up a hole...In tossing in your cards after a bad beginning you also undermine your whole game, because to quit between tee and green is more habit-forming than drinking a highball before breakfast."  -Sam Snead

 "Golf does  strange things to other people, too. It makes liars out of honest men, cheats out of altruists, cowards out of brave men and fools out of everybody." -Milton  Gross

 "Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than nineteen years of dealing with him across the desk." -Grantland Rice


 "Talking  to a golf ball won't do you any good. Unless you do it while your opponent  is teeing off." -Bruce Lansky

 "It's still good sportsmanship to not pick up lost balls while they are still rolling."  -Mark Twain

 "The older  you get the stronger the wind gets- and it's always in your face." -Jack Nicklaus





 "My best  score ever was 103, but I've only been playing 15 years." -Alex Karris

 "Golf is  the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at." -Dave  Hill

 "Never bet  with anyone you meet on the first tee, who has a deep suntan, a one iron in his bag and squinty eyes." -Dave Marr

 "The golf swing is like sex. You can't be thinking about the mechanics of the act while  you are performing." -Dave Hill


 "Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club don't you?" -Ben  Hogan

 "You don't  know what pressure is until you've played for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket."-Lee Trevino

 "Golf is  a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five." -Paul Harvey

 "A lot of guys who have have never choked, have never been in the position to do so."  -Tom Watson

 "I'm hitting  the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them" -Harry Tofcano

"Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing  but an ulcer." -Tommy Bolt

 "Golf is  based on honesty, where else would you admit to a seven on a par three?" -Jimmy Demaret

"It's nice to have the opportunity to play for so much money, but it's nicer to win it."  -Patty Sheenan

 "I play with  friends, but we don't play friendly games." -Ben Hogan

 "Golf is  an ideal diversion, but a ruinous disease." -Bertie Forbes

 "Putts get  real difficult the day they hand out the money." -Lee Trevino

 "There are  no points for style when it comes to putting. It's getting the ball in the  cup that counts." -Brian Swarbrick


 "The harder you work, the luckier you get." -Gary Player "Victory is everything. You can spend the money, but you can never spend the memories." -Ken Venturi


 "The number one thing about trouble is...don't get into more." -Dave Stockton

 "It's the most fun I've had with my clothes on." -Lee Trevino

 "Mulligan:  invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty yard grounder." -Jim Bishop


 "The only shots you can be sure of are those you've had already." -Byron Nelson

"Golf and  sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it." -Jimmy Demaret

 "Most golfers prepare for disaster. A good golfer prepares for success." -Bob Toski

 "You've just  one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it." -Sam Snead

 "The fun  you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put into it."  -Bob Allen

 "Golf is  good walk spoiled." -Mark Twain


 "You can't  lose an old golf ball." -John Willis



 "When he  gets the ball into a tough place, that's when he's most relaxed. I think it's because he has so much experience at it." -Don Christopher(Jack Lemmon's Caddie)



 "Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well." -Craig Stadler




 "Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend's mother about her heart condition?" -Phil Silvers



 "The person I fear most in the last two rounds is myself." -Tom Watson



 "Always throw your clubs ahead of you. That way you don't have to waste energy going back  to pick them up." -Tommy Bolt

 "Always keep  in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't  come three to a sleeve." -Dan Jenkins



 "Actually,  the only time I ever took out a one iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took  a seven to do that." -Jim Murry

 "The right  way to play golf is to go up and hit the bloody thing." -George Duncan


 "He enjoys  that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf." -P.G. Wodehouse

 "I played like s___." -Greg Norman after the Masters.

 "Every rock'n'roll  band I know, guys with long hair and tattoos, plays golf now." -Alice Cooper, 47.

 "Golf tips  are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle  you will be lucky to survive." -Harvey Penick

"Nobody asked  how you looked, just what you shot." -Sam Snead

 "Happiness  is a long walk with a putter." -Greg Norman

 "You know what they say about big hitters...the woods are full of them." -Jimmy Demaret 

 "Golf is  an easy game...It's just hard to play." -unknown


 "..corr blimey  O'Reilly" - Peter Alliss is astounded by a put or shot at the British Open

 "The mind messes up more shots than the body." Tommy Bolt


"Golf is a sport in which the ball lies poorly but the player well" -Unknown

"They say  golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that."  -Gardner Dickinson (ditto)

“Golf is like marbles for adults”- unknown

In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled “Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden”. . . and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.- Not a quote but a word origin from J.Brown..tnx


the occasional miracle.

2. "I wish I could play my normal game...just once."

3. "Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul


rarely make a perfect shot.

6. The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it

7. A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two
golfers...neither of whom can putt very well.

it is always possible to get worse.

9. Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and
go out and for no reason at all you really stink.


11. If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme Putt", you
might wish to reconsider this game.

can finally enjoy the level you've reached after you've reached it.


work... and both are expensive.

15. The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.


they shoot a "six," yell "fore" and write "five".

18. Swing easy. Hit hard.

personality might not be right for golf...it is also just a matter of
time before the IRS investigates your business.


buys the drinks.

from the editors at Links Magazine via Don Chapman...thanks, Don!

"One of the reasons Arnie [Arnold Palmer] is playing so well
 and kisses them......Oh my God, what have I just said?"
(USTV Commentator)


12. If it ain’t broke, try changing your grip.
13. Golfers who say they don’t cheat, also lie.
14. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
16. It’s surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.
18. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
19. It’s not a gimme if you’re still away.
22.You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a 2-inch branch 90 percent of the time.
25. To calculate the speed of a player’s downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. (Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 600 mph.)
26. There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands. It’s how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
27. Hazards attract; fairways repel.
32. Don’t buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw