Friday, 14 August 2015

Letting Go Of People Bondage.

Why do you do the things you do? Whose voice do you hear when you are about to make a move? What's driving you? What's your motivation?

People bondage comes when you no longer make decisions based on your convictions, but based on the convictions of the crowd. This crowd can be one person, or many people. You are driven by the desire to be in everyone's good book. God forbid anyone has anything to say about you, because you work tirelessly to please...people. These are people uncomfortable with standing alone. Everything they do must be what the others do. Why do you buy the clothes you do? Because it's "in?" Or because it'll increase your likes? Most people that like your pictures on social media like them for very different reasons. Don't be the scapegoat for peoples amusement. People pleasers are marked by the follower syndrome: comfortable following and never really leading. Their whole identity is controlled by whoever's opinions of them. No good footing for the self, but drift like the wind based on external pressures. It's almost like "let me please people who I can see, and whenever I see God, I'll please Him too."

Growing up, I knew this girl that suffered from people bondage. She would dress one way, and change her clothes when she got with her other friends to "fit in" with the crowd. She was almost a walking puppet of her friends. Whatever they demanded of her, she did without reservation. Forgetting her identity in Christ, and that she was ENOUGH just the way she was. Whoever's opinion you are bothered about the most is an indication of whose slave you are. You know those kinds of people that can't make simple decisions like what hair style to make or what shoe to wear without calling someone else to give the green light? Now, don't get me wrong getting advice and counsel is great and wise, but not when you can't think for yourself.! Not when everything you do comes from the approval of others even when your convictions are different. Never give them people a chance to replace God. Do you inconvenience yourself for the approval of God, or for the approval of mere mortal? Will you defy God's values just so you can sit with the "cool kids?"

"Don’t put your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath. What good are they?"
                                                                                                           -Isaiah. 2:22

This  controlled life is destructive and must be adjusted. Living in people bondage will have you throw God under the bus consciously or unconsciously. You will find that with every decision you take, you are inching away from God's ideals for you. It will also create imbalance in your life. Who you are at your core, and the life you exhibit will be at loggerheads. While your conscience says you should do XYZ, your outward expression is 123. Also, Christ died to free us. Free us from oppression and bondage. He died to give us freedom to live for Him. Not freedom to be pawns for every other person that is trying to figure out their own lives. Don't be scared of losing people just because you are trying to gain your independence from them. Don't fear seasons of loneliness. These are times when God is pulling you back to Himself.

Are you suffering from this syndrome? Do you want to be ruled by God? You must first accept and acknowledge you are bound. Years ago, I battled internally with people pleasing. I wanted everyone to like me, or at least have positive things to say about me. Starting this blog even, I was very hesitant because I didn't want people to put me in this "holier than thou" box. I didn't want to be on any pedestal. I battled for a while. There came a time when I had to answer Who I was living for. Whether for men or God. I had to remember that one day I was going to stand before God, and let Him know if I obeyed Him, and not my little friends who didn't think a blog for God was "cool."

You must remind yourself of your identity in God. Who does He say you are? Seek validation in Him. He will sustain you. People pleasing is exhausting. There will be so many voices and opinions in your head constantly. You won't know true peace. You won't even have an established relationship with God because you have allowed yourself to be controlled by people and things. Your identity will be blurry. You must realise that people will ALWAYS have an opinion about you. Whether you do their will, or God's. So you might as well run with God Who has promised you rewards. If you don't know what to do, ask God! He gives wisdom FREELY. Forgive yourself for allowing to be used by people. Now pick up your mat, and walk! 

I love you for real, for real! (God loves you more though!)
Favor O.