Friday, 31 October 2014

It's Over. For Now...

"Atatata Taata Taatatata Zukkyun!"

It's the end of October and for The 'Ween I have the last part of the Month of Macabre. Number 27 to 31. Here are parts One, Two and Three in case you haven't read them or want to remember what came before. And here is the list one last time.

"Wadadada Daada Daadadada Dokkyun"

27: Scariest Monster

Since I don't find any monsters scary nowadays because monsters in horror films now are either stupid looking or the person holding the camera can't stop shaking it and you just wish they'd shut up and get eaten by the monster. How about you get a tripod and sit the camera on it so we can get a good five second look at the monster instead of a total of ten shaky seconds looking at parts of a creature?
Anyway, I will go for any of the monsters from John Carpenter's The Thing. They are all unique and like any practical effects from the 80s they still look good today. Imagine, The Thing is 32 years old now. The effects and Kurt Russell still look badass after all those years.

28: Spookiest Haunted House

The house from House on Haunted Hill. Vincent Price's house, not Geoffrey Rush's. People are invited to spend the night in the house and if they can stay the whole night they will be given money. But the house is supposedly haunted and strange goings-on... go on and some people are murdered. Like in all his films, Vincent Price gives an astounding performance. He comes to act and doesn't let up. Maybe some people these days should learn from him. If you think your film is crap then try make it good yourself rather than bitching about it afterwards. Ungrateful pricks.

"You think you're cool?"

29: Sickest Torture Porn
29: Best Foreign Horror Film

I was thinking of picking Ringu for this one but then thought that if anyone needs to be told that it's superior to the shitty remake then they need to just drown themselves in a well.
My choice will be R-Point. It's a South Korean film about a squad sent to rescue a missing platoon in Vietnam after receiving an S.O.S transmission. I first saw the film at an Asian film festival over a weekend in Dublin with my brother. I think this was the first film shown and while the other five films were great this was by far the best. I found the film to be quite nerve-racking. It was a long time before and since that I felt that way watching a film.

An awful lot of Deadpool comes up when you search R-Point images.

"Zukyun! Dokyun! Zukyun! Dokyun!"

30: Cutest Demon/Possession

What a stupid question this is. Am I supposed to be attracted to the demon or what? I'm gonna think outside the box with this one and go with the demonic cat from Hausu. Is a cat cute enough for you? It's kind of hard to describe Hausu. Some girls go to one of their aunt's house and weird things happen that you need to see. Do so as soon as possible. You will not regret it. And if you do then you can stick to Transformers. That might be more tailored to your mental age.

31: Best Halloween Party Scene

I'm going with a classic for this one. It's a short film but at the end there's an awesome party scene with all your favourite monster characters. I don't think it was a Halloween party but since it's my film I'm changing it for the purposes of this.



"Yada! Yada! Yada! Yada! Never! Never! Never!"


This brings the Month of Macabre to an end. Or does it? It does...? It's not like a horror film, it will be over. Or will it?

Since today is The 'Ween what better song to have than this one by BabyMetal. We all know that when you say "Trick or Treat" you really mean "Gimme Chocolate".

Happy 'Ween to all you 'Weeners.

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