December 30, 2013

I completely forgot I even had a blog...

...said no blogger ever.

Blahblahblah...BUSY...blahblahblah...holidays...blahblahblah...moving...blahblahblah...hip hurts like the bones are grrrrrrrriiinnnnnnding away on each other...because THEY ARE...blahblahblah...

Grab a drink (or a twelve-pack) because you're in for a long and less-than-enthralling read.

Oh,'s the dreaded "recapping all the boring shit I've been doing for the past three weeks" post! With LOTS of pictures. Your smartphone is going to LOVE this!

Where did we leave off...

Oh, right. The California International Marathon. I wrote my two ancient race reports from back when Man ran with the dinosaurs and the next day went and watched the modern version...with Garmins and tech fabrics and shotbloks. I did wear my circa 1978 puffy down jacket because it was FREEZING. A lot of people complained about the cold. Last year a lot of people complained about the monsoon. Whatever. Running is an outdoor sport. Get over it.

I met up with a few people at that race, some were running and some were watching. No one was eating froyo. #sobummed  I'm doing the #goodblogger thing by name checking the ones I know that I either saw or touched:

Jen @dine_and_dash (Running Tangents)
Tennille @10neil  (Biting Tongue)
Alyssa @DiaryAvgRunner (who killed her blog at some point and didn't even tell me)
Cate @runningcate (Cate's World Kitchen)
Naomi @NJnSF (The Tao of Me)

Pavement Runner @pavementrunner (Pavement Runner)
Jill @runwithjill (Run with Jill) who totally pimped my pic of Jesus and didn't give me any cred...I gave her a minus 5000 #bloggypoints on her scorecard.
Jessica @jessicapatrice
Page @page (Twenty-six and then some)
Courtney @courtpancakes (Pancakes and Postcards)

I'm probably forgetting someone and will, thus, burn in bloghell. Sorry, forgotten runner/spectator person! It was fun and cold. And exciting and cold. And some people set some awesome PRs. Glad I went even though I spent the whole time driving my husband's stickshift pickup truck with no heat in the freezing cold trying to navigate myself using an iPhone. Totally inefficient...and dangerous. Thank God I survived so I could write this boring-ass, completely forgettable recap.

What's next?

The Dickens Christmas Fair.

Every year my oldest daughter performs at this pretty fun event. It's pretty fun for about an hour...then the Dickens schtick gets old. At least for me it does. Lots and lots of cleavage at this fair. All the women who attend in costume seem to really go for the "corset-jacking-my-tits-up-to-my-chin" look. My kids had fun and I took some neat photos.

London in winter...
inside the Cow Palace in San Francisco.
Then we moved.

Moving is a total pain in the ass. Moving with a cane is nearly impossible. Moving exactly one week before Christmas is just plain stupid. But it's been worth it...

My new bedroom and bathroom.
I now live in a McMansion.
Oh, the horror...the horror.
Actually, it's pretty awesome.
New playground two blocks from the house...
right ON the bay...
and the killer TRIPLE BUNK in the girls' room!
Nine-foot ceilings are the bomb.
First thing we did was get a tree and put up
I love Christmas lights.
(I'm totally showing off. But of course, for all you know I really live in a 2-bedroom, janky-ass basement apartment with my parents and 6 siblings in a skeevy part of town...and I'm really a 16-year old, 400-lb. guy who's totally fucking with you).

Two days later...

#JBH2013  aka JingleBellHell.

I couldn't run so I passed out the donuts. I got up really early to support my friends in the cold AGAIN and make sure they had donuts. Because donuts make the world go 'round.

RoseRunner did NOT win. Showing up 30 minutes late will do that. Jen won. Jen was prompt. Racing isn't all about being the fastest runner, folks. #PROOF

This was followed by another one of my oldest daughter's performances...

After that came Christmas.

Presents, a treasure hunt from was fairly low-key because when you move the week before Christmas and then get really sick and only have 4 hours to Christmas shop and are more or less a sickish zombie while you're shopping you tend to not buy that much. I usually try to have the same number of presents for each kid because you KNOW they count them and compare. I was so out of it that somehow I ended up with nine things for one kid and only 2 things for another (and one of those things was a pair of sweatpants) and five for the other kids. Ages and genders make the gifts not very interchangeable so I improvised...wrapping up a cookie, a $20-bill, a card promising a trip to the ice rink for the short-changed child. Because I'm resourceful.

Unfortunately, in my sickish zombie fog, I thought nail polish would be an awesome gift for my 4-year old.

So  many pretty colors in a pretty, sparkly box!
She LOVED it. Then she disappeared for a while. And was really quiet.

No words.
Our new house has off-white carpeting. With red nail polish spots in some places.

We had family over for dinner because now we have enough space to host. Yay.

Yorkshire Pudding... which I can't eat because
it is made entirely with shit I'm intolerant of.
Gluten, check. Eggs, check. Dairy, check.
And that is all.
But if you follow me on INSTAGRAM you'd know all this already.

As the sun sets on this year...

two days ago...#nofuckingfilter
Let's all find the joyful, shadow-dancing child within...

And embrace the glory that is this life.

Recycled material is the best. And this is the time of year to do it. This was just three weeks worth of regurgitation...wait until I get going on the running recap for this year....oh, ooops...I didn't run after the first week in February. Well, maybe I'll do a blog recap for the year or one of those little Instagram recap dealios that EVERYone is doing this year. They're like the after Christmas gift guide post ...MANDATORY. OH, WAIT!!!!! GOALS FOR THE YEAR IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER! #SOSTOKED!!!!!


  1. Love it! Like I said before, I want to come to your house and take a bath. #hugetub

  2. I'm not going to lie, I didn't read all of this. However, I am interested in how I can get my own McMansion.

    1. It involves moving. Not something I recommend while pregnant. And for the record, I appreciate your honesty.

  3. There will be no IG dealio from me. Just, no. Totally up for some shadow dancing though. I think you moved to the south of France...

    1. We moved to the Bay Area boonies. It's pretty sweet. Come visit...we have lots of room :)

  4. I'm so overwhelmed by blog content, the only coherent thought I have is that I want a doughnut.

    1. You are #sopretentious sometimes. Stop putting "ugh" in such a delectable treat.

  5. Thank you again for doing #JBH2013 despite all of the moving, sickness, and (lame) no-shows! Love the video of your daughter playing the harp.

    Happy New Year! Now be a good blogger and post some year-end shit!

    1. My pleasure! Glad you came! Lol. And I posted year-end shit just for you so you'd better read it!

  6. If I ever went to a Dickens Fair I'd definitely go with the anti-gravity boobs-corset look. Nothing says Olde Worlde England quite like a middle aged woman with jacked-up tits.

  7. #bestdamnrecapof2013

    And I"m sure you are feeling all restored and fulfilled after a bloggy break. But I am glad you are back.

    1. It's fun to live a private life. Actually the break was also due to what was believed to be a botched internet order. Thanks for being so nice :)

  8. Things I read on the first day of the year that made me smile:



    You have a GIFT! Happy New Year!

    1. Thank you so much! Happy New Year to you too :)

  9. Congrats on the new home :) Sorry, but I am totally laughing about the nail polish. At least she had fun, right?! :)

    1. She was in heaven. Totes the sparkly box everywhere. I have to keep a close eye on it.



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