The Insecure Cook

The original name for this blog before I decided on Stacey Snacks was The Insecure Cook.

I bought the domain name, set up the blog, but never used it.
Thinking back, I am not sure why I changed my mind on the name, but it was a unanimous decision.

I have always been an insecure cook. Must be in the genes.

My grandmother would wear a "shift" over her clothes (with her diamonds of course), and serve everyone huge meals.

After second helpings, she would walk around the table again with the big spoon and if you refused a THIRD helping of whatever she was dishing out, she would say "What's the matter, you didn't like it?".

No Grandma, we are so stuffed, we are going to EXPLODE!

I am the same way.

If you don't tell me as soon as the food has touched your lips that it is the BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER EATEN AND PLEASE MAY I HAVE THE RECIPE AND TAKE SOME HOME?, then I may start to cry.

I always ask my husband as he is trying something for the first time, "Is it good? Do you like it? Should I make it again?". I think he wants to kill me.

Recently I went to a blogger dinner in Brooklyn with some really accomplished cooks, one being a professional chef. I brought a French meatloaf terrine, and before anyone took a bite, I told them how it wasn't any good, and didn't come out as good as I expected. So don't even bother eating it.

I really am going to make an effort to be better and stop being so insecure in the kitchen, otherwise this blog is changing its name.

* photograph courtesy of Cheryl McLaughlin Photography titled MY INSECURITIES


Debbie said…
I hear ya Stacey. I am pretty much the same way. I love trying different recipes but if they don't turn out well I blame myself. Years ago when I was first married and had children if the meal didn't turn out like it should I would take the whole thing and toss it in the trash!!! I would be so mad. I've learned though to be patient and not everything turns out like it should the first go around. Patience does pay off.....but I'm still pretty insecure with my cooking and baking!
can I join the club or am I already the president?
Amy B said…
Food is so temperamental, things never turn out the same way twice, plus there is the mood of the eater to consider, and the vagaries of the taste buds (damn those super tasters who think cilantro tastes like soap!)
You can make yourself crazy trying to get it "right." The pictures are always fun, though.
Unknown said…
I can totally relate to this post! My husband is always telling everyone how great I cook, and I tend to be very modest when people ask me about what he says. But, I'm always waiting for people to tell me what they think after the first bite!
Maris said…
You are not alone here! Sometimes I feel like since I have a blog and talk about cooking a lot, people will have high expectations when they try my cooking.

I do the same thing though - without endless compliments I feel like I might has well have served frozen pizza!
noble pig said…
I think your feelings are very normal and everyone experiences them to some extent. But don't cry!
Ciao Chow Linda said…
I really am surprised at your comments given the quality of the food and recipes you post. You are a real pro at what you do and I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to dive right into your delicious food. We all have goof-ups now and then but that's how we get better and eliminate the clunkers. Now if you want to talk insecurities, the bathing suit reference really rings true for me.
Karen said…
I was so surprised to read this. I think you have fantastic posts with beautiful, and I'm sure, delicious food!

We all like to be complimented on our food and wouldn't it be nice if our guests (or husbands) would say something terrific after every single bite! LOL Truth is, a lot of people can't appreciate the effort, thought and skill it takes to put a wonderful dinner on the table, so one measly "This is pretty good." just doesn't do it for us. LOL
Bob said…
Heh, I do the same thing with my girlfriend. Eventually she sat me down and explained to me that she has to actually chew and taste the first bite before she knows how it is. :D I'm getting better.
brandin + kari said…
This post hits really close to home. I actually made a dinner for 16 last night, and I didn't feel validating until people started giving me compliments on the food. I think it is the artist inside of me.

My husband is brutally honest with me, because I ask him to be. Sometimes I get upset, but he has a wonderful palette and he is able to tell me when things are really fantastic, or just so so. I appreciate his feedback because, like being a ballet dancer, corrections only make me a stronger artist (cook).

Thank you for this post! As you can see from your comments, you are not alone with these thoughts:)

By the way, great website name. Maybe you should make ANOTHER blog.....talking about these very things
Foodiewife said…
OMG!! That is too funny, and yet I can so relate. My original blog name was "The Timid Cook". Ha!

I have a star rating system. My hubby is stingy with five star ratings. If he gives something four stars, I want to know why...and I feel so disappointed.

It's silly, isn't it? From every recipe you've posted, I would make them in a heartbeat. Actually, I have made several of your recipes and they have never disappointed me. Five stars, Stacey!

LaDue & Crew said…
Stace, you have inspired me to make so many of your dishes, and I am never disappointed! I am always like, I bet if Stacey was making this, it would be a gajillion times better! From all that I see, it would be an absolute honor to sit at your table, with my thumbs up in advance ;-) And the title "Insecure Cook"- love it! But you'll always be Stacey Snacks to me!
StaceyEsq said…
With apologies to "Jimmy Dugan," There's no crying in cooking!
Dana said…
In my family, we call this "pulling a Barbara" after my mom Barbara. Whatever she makes, she will tell you how it should have turned out but didn't and all the problems she had with it along the way. Then once everyone tastes it, and it is delicious, she finally shuts up. Now, when I make something I am unsure about and I start to question it, my husband will ask, "Are you really worried, or are you pulling a Barbara?" :)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I am glad your blog is not The Insecure Cook...I like the name you have now and I LOVE all your recipes. And yeah, if my husband doesn't eat 3 servings I think something is wrong:)
Memória said…
I know how you feel. I made some blueberry muffins for my friend the other day, and I thought they were delicious. I was still afraid my friend wouldn't feel the same way about them. After she took her first bite, she went back to her laptop and resumed typing. I was trying to act like I wasn't watching her, but I was very disappointed when she didn't say anything. Then a few seconds later, she took another bite, and then another. She ate the whole thing quickly. Then she told me that they were very good!

Unfortunately, we are not perfect, and not ever dish we make will come out perfectly. However, the love and effort we put into every dish will shine through. I hope that you're able to get over your insecurities, especially since you appear to be a great cook. Also, "badgering" (I can't think of a less harsh word. Sorry!) your husband like that may affect his enjoyment of the meal. Just say nothing, enjoy the dish for yourself, and then wait for his reaction while you eat!!! :) You deserve to enjoy your meal after all the hard work of preparing it. I'm sure he will like almost everything you make. Thanks for this post; you're not alone!
kat said…
I totally do the same thing to Matt with every must irritate him so much.
You're so funny Stacey, but I can so relate, I always say I should have done this, or I should have done that. When you ever feel insecure again go back and read all your comments!!! Are you kidding me? Look at your blog girl!
You have nothing to be insecure about!
Your Nan sounds like mine. She'd be feeding us before we even got our coats off. And, girl, be confident. You're a kick-ass cook. :)
Melissa said…
Like other here, you have really, really hit a nerve with me on this one. No joke, Stace, I actually considered "insecure cook" as my blog name.

It's nice to see the empathy here. And it's good that you recognize it as an issue because really we all should serve our stuff and be proud without acting self-deprecating. It makes it harder on the people who are trying our stuff because they feel even more pressured about tasting it.

You really do cook wonderful food. It's hard for me to imagine that all this time you have felt insecure. Mind-boggling actually. Don't doubt yourself!!
Giff said…
I can relate :) I think our personal standards are high, and sometimes it can be tough to really enjoy your own food the way your guests do. I have to snuff out the habit of explaining my dis-satisfactions in a dish to my guests, who are happily consuming it and don't need me being a perfectionist, analytical downer!
Edimommy said…
I think anyone would be intimidated cooking for a professional - I mean this what they get paid to do! You rock though, and should be proud of how awesome your food is! I'll have thirds of your goods anytime.
Colloquial Cook said…
Stacey!! What on earth!!! I can tell you that precise terrine didn't last in the fridge... And the chutney, every time I see that little Fortnum and Mason dish I think about it!! Are you going to post the recipe for that soon? Apples are soon going to be out of season!
Michele said…
So funny! I am that way but I don't really tell people that. It's mostly my bf that I want to make sure likes it bc he is the one that eats dinner with me every night. I guess I'm still trying to impress him after 3 1/2 years! lol
Lori Lynn said…
Stace - I am going to email you a photo of what is written over my kitchen sink...
Anonymous said…
This is so true. LOL I ask my husband about a thousand times a night "How was dinner?"
Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.