Starting over

By Alessandra Paul

My best friend used to be bulimic and a cutter, and I watched her destroy herself slowly in a period of four years; I watched her wither like a flower as days passed by.

Offering all the help I could give her, I stayed by her side; she was like my sister, her pain was my pain, but my help seemed to be never good enough.

She was far too gone as days passed by. Like water escaping between fingers, her condition just worsened; our friendship started to die as she drowned deeper in an invisible ocean.

People like friends, boyfriends, and teachers would offer her lifelines, but she foolishly declined them always.

I would always wonder why? Why does she not listen? My mind would go wild thinking of her tragic end and what I would do and feel if she would cease to exist


Worrying, nights and days would pass wondering if she would survive that day or night.  Will I get a phone call saying she is gone?

Nobody could help her, as she seemed to be rebellious and totally ignorant of people that loved her and wanted her to be better.

This old friend was given many opportunities to start again, but she remained the same. In time, the bulimia was gone and so was the cutting; sadly, the sorrow remained.

It wasn’t until last October that she saw the light at the end of a dark tunnel; she gave birth to a son.

Magically, she became beautiful again; she no longer looked like a withered flower; she was finally happy.

Her son saved her and blessed her with that happiness and peace that she had been searching for. She finally was ready for a new beginning.

Now I know that maybe she didn’t take all those lifelines because her fate was to have this child and give him all the love she never had.

It’s easy for everyone to say that each day is a new day and that we can always start over, but the truth is that maybe it’s not the right time to do so.

Not every day is a new day to start again, not everyday are we ready to do so.

I believe we are not always ready, I believe the day will come when we are.

Every day we are given a new opportunity in life, but not always are we ready to take it. This I believe.