There Is No Rulebook For Coping With Depression But These 5 Tips Help

First-hand advice from women who have struggled and a top London psychologist

Depression can suck the joy from things that once brought you alive and leave you with little sense of who you are –and why you're even here.

In short: coping with depression, whether mild or more severe clinical depression, takes more than putting on a brave face. But we don’t need to tell you that. Depression doesn't discriminate; whether you have your life marred by the so-called ‘black dog’ or you have to watch those you love battle with the symptoms of depression, coping with depression isn't easy.

Data from mental health charity Mind shows that 13% of the population experience depression in some form. So how do you deal with depression? Firstly, there are no hard and fast rules. Just as each person experiences the illness differently, recovery strategies vary too.

Do read WH's guide on how to deal with depression.

One of the best outcomes of the growing numbers of people opening up about their mental health struggles is that more tried-and-tested coping mechanisms are getting an airing.

That’s why, in a psychiatric hospital bed, following his 2011 suicide attempt, trained counsellor James Withey decided to create The Recovery Letters.

A collection of powerful notes addressed from people coping depression to those currently suffering have been released, which begs the question: are they a go-to resource for depression self-help?

'There is a big difference, psychologically, between the spoken word and the written one,' explains Withey. 'The spoken word is slippery; it can be misheard; it can be taken back by saying ‘I didn’t mean that’, while the written word has a weight to it.'

Co-editor Olivia Sagan believes that a letter is a powerful means by which to make a purpose out of pain. 'When we start to recover from depression many people find it useful to turn their experiences into something meaningful for others.'

Meaningful, sure –but is the advice worth following? Yes, actually –according to Dr. Joanna Silver, practising psychologist at London's Nightingale Hospital. Let us count the ways.

Unfortunately for those wanting a quick fix overcoming depression can take time. Now is not the time to try and fast-track recovery.

Miriam says: "You might still be at the stage of not wanting to get out of bed. Recovering from, and coping with depression is a balance between pushing yourself and at the same time having compassion. It's a bit like grass growing: you might not see the process happening but the most important thing is that it is."

Dr Silver says: "Set goals to help you feel like you're moving forward –but think of them like taking baby steps. Your intention also needs to have a clear purpose. People will say 'I want to feel better' - but what does that actually mean?"

"Think about setting SMART goals: specific; measurable; achievable; realistic and timely. And be aware that recovering from depression means you'll inevitably take backwards steps."

When coping with depression your needs should be prioritised.

Natalie says: "I made the decision that depression would not rule me when I accepted that I really was good enough to live a happy, successful and fulfilling life. The first step towards recovery, for me, was the decision to actually be in recovery. To value me and put a stop to the self-destructive behaviour."

Dr Silver says: "Self-worth tends to be low in people with depression because they often forget positive things that happen and hone in on the negative. To build this up, people should keep a list of positive things others have said about them and note down any uplifting thoughts about their lives that come up on ‘good’ days."

Dealing with depression can throw up many things. Recognise this and know that it's OK.

Talia says: "I know these moods can feel isolating and embarrassing. I understand how difficult it can be to be around people who cannot relate to what you are going through. But let the people who love you throw you a life rope, and though it may take time to grasp it, be comforted by the knowledge that it's there."

Dr Silver says: "Remember that just because you’re not going to be 100% understood by a person, it doesn't mean you’re going to be 0% understood. Also, know that people can support you even if they don’t have lived experience of how to deal with depression.'"

"Support can look like someone helping you with chores or simply popping round to laugh at some trashy TV. Be honest with yourself about different people’s strengths and weaknesses and from there, think about how each might be able to help."

Kind in mind that learning to cope with your depression won't happen overnight.

Natasha says: "I know sometimes it feels like nothing is helping. But keep working with your doctor. Keep talking to your therapist. Continue using your coping skills. Maintain your exercise and nutrition plan. I know waiting for these things to work is agony. But it is an agony you can survive in order to live a good life again."

Dr Silver says: "People with depression often wait for a lightbulb "feeling better" moment. But recovering from depression is more like a dimmer switch getting brighter and brighter. And these little things are all helping nudge it in that direction.

"Yes, you’ll have days when you don’t feel like doing 10 minutes of your Headspace meditation app. To help keep you on track, write positive affirmations like 'my depression will pass', at the moments you do feel up to it.

"This helps remind you of your bigger goal of recovery - and, in doing so, will motivate you to continue the habits that will help get you there faster."

Your friends might have the best intentions but self-appointed counsellors aren't always your best bet.

Lisa says: "Antidepressants have side effects, but so do antibiotics and you would probably take those if you had a serious infection. People or websites telling you that taking antidepressants is a sign of weakness should be ignored.

"Don't take advice on medication from anyone who isn't a qualified doctor. And, if you are prescribed an antidepressant, consider taking it, wait for it to start working and avoid all the things you should be avoiding when you're on it.

Dr Silver says: "The best combination for recovery is to take medication alongside talking therapy - and many people can’t engage in therapy without taking medication first.

"Being honest with your doctor about your lifestyle is essential. If you don't take these medications as they advise, it can make your depression worse. For example, alcohol. You can have a drink while on some medications, but not others –so make sure you check."

The Recovery Letters Addressed to People Experiencing Depression is published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

For more information on depression read the WH guide how to help someone with depression and the symptoms of depression that aren't always obvious.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
More From Stress