Spoiled Children of Divorce

January 29, 2009, 11:16 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

The ability to switch from one personality to another quickly like a chameleon seems to be an obvious successful trait for a Child of D to have.  I’ve read numerous astrological readings of Barack Obama’s chart as being a sort of shapeshifter. This is interpreted as a negative quality.  Can a personality like this be trusted? Can a personality like this trust others?

In reality, the shapeshifter could be a bad thing or it could be a good thing.  A person with an understanding of many different lifestyles will be much more of a Unifier than a person who has grown up with one style of thinking.  There will probably be an ability to question one’s thoughts and those of others.  Children of D really do analyze their own thoughts and motives more than Children of Intact Families.  At least that’s what I’ve observed.

In Obama’s case, we’ll have to wait and see how this works out, but, so far so good. The guy’s been handed a waste dump.  Maybe he actually needs to be more of a Rumpelstiltskin than a Shapeshifter at this point.


While Googling around on the Internet the other day I stumbled on a blog that was written by a Child of D.  The blog was sort of a personal diary, not specifically about being a Child of D (they never are), but the writer said that one of the chief personality traits that she thought was a fall out from coming from a Divorce was that she tended to spy on people.  This reminded me of filmmaker Brian De Palma’s story of becoming a filmmaker as a kid by trying to catch his Father with another woman on camera.  This reminded me also of my step-sister who I found one day standing with her husband outside of my door when I came home.  We hadn’t talked in ten years.  If you spy on people, you don’t ever have to talk to them. I don’t know if this is typical Child of D behavior.  I know it’s consistent behavior among addicts and alcoholics, though, who live in a constant state of paranoia over getting caught and placing blame.  Co-dependents, the people who live with the addicts, also have a high “spy” rate.

Growing up in Divorce makes a kid grow up fast.  One learns that people aren’t what they seem and are definitely not what they say they are.  In order to get to the truth, one must get the facts on one’s own.

Parents, of course, use their children to spy on their ex’s.  The old interrogation procedures becomes old hat.  Here is a link to a question and answer on Yahoo called:  “Do you ever spy on your (ex) spouse through your kids?”


They say that people living in urban environments are photographed about 75 times a day.  Cameras are everywhere.  There was a story on the news the other night that personal spy companies are faring very well through the economic downturn.   Course, I’ve read enough stories of step-mommies setting up video cams in order to catch their step-children, but that’s to be expected.  Parenting through nannycams, hmmm.  Real mothers don’t need nannycams.

Mentally Ill Step-Parents
January 20, 2009, 10:23 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

It seems that I’ve listened time and time again to Step-Parents who acknowledge that their step-children are mentally ill and that their spouse’s ex-s are mentally ill.  I suppose it would be a very interesting study to understand the personality of someone who willingly takes on a family situation with these many problems without ever working on their own problems.  The mental illness that a typical step-parent would suffer from would be closer to sociopathology.  An abnormal need to place blame on others and to create discomfort in order to further one’s own needs.

I easily acknowledge that there are many step-parents who are loving, selfless people.  It’s a bit sad to me, though, when I hear a kid say that his step-parent treated him much better than his own parent.  I realize that this could very well be true, but what step-parent with half a heart would want to hear a kid speak ill of his own parent that way, especially in order to fulfill his/her own need to reign supreme.

Anyway, the games that go on in these relationships are endless and as usual I will say that it’s extremely pathetic that the medical field sides almost relentlessly with the step-parent, the stranger in the family.  There is ignorance coming from this field.

Again and again I will say that this blog isn’t about step-parents.  I have no intention of making good step-parents feel bad.  But I must acknowledge the monsters who are out there.  On the previous entries where I have discussed step-parenting the monsters are constantly leaving messages that are now being forwarded by Hacker companies.  I don’t know what these companies do exactly but I suspect the reason is sabotage.  Some crazy obsessed freak is purposely doing insulting searches many times daily just to insult me.  This person is like a kid who hurts animals and goes on to kill people.  There’s really nothing I can do about it except to acknowledge the level of sickness and hope that no one is truly harmed either in that person’s family or by anyone else he/she has contact with.  Please, freak, get help.

Misplaced Guilt and Parents and Particularly Step-Parents
January 3, 2009, 6:24 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

How much of the rage that Parents in families and stepfamilies is really a version of misplaced guilt for putting the kids through an inferior childhood and for providing poor quality of life.   The family is centered completely around the parents’ emotional needs and not the childrens’?  It’s not centered around what the neighborhood needs, or what the school needs or what any other community organization needs.

All that rage about the Manipulation, all the demands for Kindness and Forgivenessthat’s asked from the kids?  Why isn’t it ever offered by the parents?  A ride to Hockey practice isn’t the same thing as a Parent who questions, is this kid the only one who is being manipulative?  Why are my own motives here?   Why do the parents refuse to look at themselves?  Why don’t they apologize?  Why do they question the children’s obvious misery?  What the Hell is that?  It’s  certainly not parenting.  It’s not a positive version of family life.  It just teaches the kids from a very early age that selfishness is part of the human experience, especially in their most intimate relationships.

If parents would take some time before committing to that second marriage to get the kids adjusted and to organize a life style for them which isn’t centered around fighting and bossing people around like cattle, maybe these problems could be lessened.  A second marriage with children can’t be just about foolish romantic love.  If you want a pet dog, go to the pound and get one.  If you want a kind and forgiving child growing up in your home, then give acceptance and respect. If you weren’t raised in a family where that existed yourself, then learn what it is. If you don’t think that anything is wrong with you, then figure out why that is.  We all have faults.  You wouldn’t be in that situation if you didn’t have faults.  I’ve already mentioned how odd it is that Step-Mothers usually see their step-daughters as being manipulative.  They don’t see themselves as manipulative.  They don’t have complaints about their step-sons.  That complaint is obviously a catty girl thing.  It’s how the ladies bully each other, very passive aggressive.

Or, continue to rant on Internet blogs like the idiot that you obviously are.  So be it.