What It's Like to Be a Male Breast Cancer Survivor

Bret Miller was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 24. His brave story shows that the disease does not discriminate, and awareness shouldn't either.

courtesy of Bret Miller / Photo credit: Terry Weckbaugh

When Bret Miller went to get an ultrasound in April 2010 at his doctor's suggestion, he thought he was in the wrong building. The sign said "Women's Clinic." His paperwork asked for his last menstrual period and if he could be pregnant. Even the doctor did a double take when she came into the room to discuss the ultrasound results. She looked at the screen, looked at Bret, and said, "Let's do a mammogram, just to make sure we get everything." That's when they could really see the lump.

Bret first noticed the lump in his breast when he was 17. He told his parents and went to the doctor, but the consensus was that this was probably just a calcium buildup brought on by puberty. It'll go away eventually. He brought it up again when he was getting a physical before going off to college. Again, the doctors dismissed it as just a part of puberty.

A few years later when he was finishing up college, he noticed some soreness and a yellow-orange discharge when he squeezed it. Still, he didn't think much about it. Looking back now, he wishes he had known that these signs were definitely cause for concern. "I've learned—and I'm proof of it—men are stubborn," says Bret. "Literally our arm is falling off and we're not going to the doctor."

After college he secured a job with health insurance at the country club he had been working at for years. He scheduled an appointment for a physical, for no reason other than that it had been a while since his last checkup. He told the doctor about the lump, and this time, the doctor suggested an ultrasound.   

"It's Breast Cancer"
Once they identified the lump on the mammogram, Bret went to a general surgeon to remove it, and he was back to work the next day. As he was leaving his job at the country club to head to his bartending job, he got the call from the doctor. He told Bret the preliminary report was in, and it was breast cancer. "That was it. I'm sitting in my car thinking I'm getting punked," says Bret.

Unfortunately, it wasn't joke, though even his insurance company didn't take it seriously at first. He found a surgeon who had experience performing mastectomies on men and initially suggested a double mastectomy. Bret pushed for a unilateral mastectomy (only removing tissue from the affected breast) instead and his doctor agreed after making a few phone calls to other experts. Then, his insurance company canceled the first surgery. Not many male mastectomies probably go pass their desks, notes Bret. They pushed back, and luckily, the insurance company cleared it. In May 2010, he had his right breast removed, followed by four rounds of chemo. On September 21, he had his last round of chemo, and his oncologist gave him the all clear. He's been cancer-free ever since.

Bret is 28 now, and he still doesn't know why or how he got breast cancer. He tested negative for BRCA genetic mutations and has no direct family history of breast cancer, though a few of his aunts and cousins have been diagnosed. "I mean, I was 24 years old, male, diagnosed with breast cancer," says Bret. "It's rare in itself. It's one percent of all breast cancer cases and one percent of all male cancer cases, and the average age is not until mid-sixties. I was less than half of the average age and diagnosed with breast cancer." 

MORE: 11 Celebrities Who Have Battled Breast Cancer

Men Who Wear Pink
His awkward experience at the women's clinic wasn't the only time Bret felt isolated as a breast cancer survivor. Especially in the beginning, he noticed a few side eyes when he attended breast cancer events and discussed being a survivor. "Some of the women just look at you like he's got to be lying," says Bret. "It's like, no, I'll lift up my shirt and show you my scar if you want."

He even felt awkward telling his friends about his breast cancer at first. But over time, he's become much more comfortable with it. When he teamed up with Ford Warriors in Pink a few years ago, he was one of two male survivors in the organization, and he definitely didn't shy away from the spa day they had organized for the rest of the group.

As you look around at the campaigns and the products sold during National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it's hard to ignore the fact that it's almost all aimed at women, and it's all pink. While Bret has no problem with this fact—women do make up 99 percent of breast cancer cases—he also wanted to make sure that men and other young survivors know they're not alone in this fight. That's the mission of the Bret Miller 1T Foundation.

"Some people believe that October is the only month you can get diagnosed with breast cancer," says Bret. "We're trying to make it a year-round thing, keeping the focus on building awareness in men and the youth, because I was so young when I first found the lump. There are women who are getting diagnosed much younger, and mammograms aren't covered by your insurance until you're 40 years old, so you are your best advocate. Check your body. Know if something changes. If you feel a change, go to the doctor and bring it up. If you don’t feel comfortable with what that doctor said, go to another one."

MORE: 9 Things That Impact Your Risk of Breast Cancer

courtesy of Bret Miller / Photo credit: Terry Weckbaugh 

Adding A Splash of Blue
Through his foundation, Bret speaks at high schools and colleges across the country and hopes to raise a different kind of awareness than what you might be used to. "Breast cancer is there, everybody knows it," says Bret. "Now we need to focus on the smaller parts of breast cancer that aren't getting enough awareness—like the metastatic breast cancer, male breast cancer, HER2-positive breast cancer."

Between working two jobs and paying off his student loans, Bret continues to travel with the foundation and participate in campaigns he believes in, as he's doing now as a Portrait of Hope for the American Cancer Society. This Halloween, he'll be taking part in the Unity in Pink walk during the annual New York Village Halloween Parade.

"All I'm trying to do is put a splash of blue in a pink world," says Bret.
"[Hundreds of men] are dying a year from it because they don't think they can get it, they don't know they can get it. They're dying because it's too late."

MORE: The Problem with National Breast Cancer Awareness Month

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