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Do any of you think that a meaningful relationship can be acheived with a christian? Lol im quite entrenched in one and am having existential issues 😓

By BradleyBell3
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What is meaningful? Is the relationship between a sow and a boar meaningful? I remember when I was introdued to the sows in a pig farm ... and at the end of a long row of pens - not writing implements - I was introduced to one swine with the follwing words: "This is their husband!" Having a vague notion of Chinese marital law and the official prohibition of polygamy I asked: "Is he a Muslim?"
The meaning of a relationship might be a matter of perspective. I had a passionate relationship with a born-again Christian. She knew that I was an atheist. This didn't bother her during intercourse and her bibles in every corner of the room was in no way detrimental to my libido.
In one discussion of the topic: evolution/creation I suggested a sort of Israelo-Palestinian solution with less explostives: Your god created evolution!


It depends on what kind of Christian they are:

1.Some are Jesus believers but are basically secular in every aspect of their lives.

  1. Some are religious but open-minded enough to not worry about whether or not their partner is a believer.

  2. Some take the Bible literally, as they understand it anyway, and believe it is their sacred duty to convert those who don't believe as the do so they (the partner)
    won't go to Hell.

It might be possible with ones and twos; but, I know some ones-- and some can be too much into Jesus and his love...and their blessings crap. I do not see it working out well at all with number threes.

I have no idea why the sentences are posting all wonky.

Joanne Level 7 Jan 16, 2020

I had a 12-year live-together pretty-good relationship with lady born Fundamentalist, then switched a few times to end-up as Catholic. We both had our own notions about the religion issue and agreed to not rub each other's nose in our ideas. It worked fine. She did her Catholic stuff and I just didn't participate, or even mention it. Her saying she was going to Mass was no different from saying she was headed out for her nail appointment. It didn't seem to adversely affect our lives, which were otherwise fairly-well matched. I think some people just need the religion thing as extra support. OK with me.

mtnhome Level 7 Jan 16, 2020

I think any meaningful relationship requires both respect and love, the most important of these being respect. If you can respect each other's beliefs and accomodate those beliefs within the relationship without pressuring or trivialising them then I don't believe there is a problem and indeed I have seen such relationships function successfully.

Cyklone Level 4 Jan 16, 2020

If he is a good partner, does not lie or cheat, tips well and is good for me in bed, I see no problem. If he wants to discuss religion, he'll be in trouble because I have studied the history of religion and am not shy about letting him know my opinion. i think he'll get way more grief from my being a feminist than an atheist.


I suppose it depends upon how strongly you defend your own belief system (if any). I was married to a Southern Baptist for 20 years, and was forced to bite my tongue far too often. If you are going to live your truth, it's impossible to do that when your partner has such opposing views. I've been there. It is miserable.


Uh... yes.


Every minefield can be defused one trigger at a time but she will likely retaliate if you offend her xian identity


My older brother was married to an orthodox Christian
He pragmatically accepted Christianity, because he loved his bride a lot.
He lived with her a bit over a year and died from terminal illness young, but I wouldn’t doubt another second they’d lived till now next several years and longer

Trumpeter Level 6 Jan 14, 2020

Sure, it depends on your personality and hers or his.


Why would you waste your time, energy, and sanity on the accommodation of delusional thinking?

Jon_Frum Level 4 Jan 14, 2020

Soul is not a religion. It is the inner most part of your being and existence. Everyone has one and everyone also has a different religion. So learn to speak soul.

Assuming you accept the existence of a soul and I think that belief in a soul is the bedrock of any religion. If there is no soul (my belief and that of many atheists) then there is no "soul talk".


How much don't you want to discuss?

Larry-new Level 7 Jan 14, 2020

Everything is dependent on the individuals.


My experience is that you can have a relationship with a religious person, but because of a differing basis of what you see as reality, there are limits as to how close you will ever get, and it is also more likely as time goes on that your interests will verge into different directions and romance will fizzle out.

snytiger6 Level 9 Jan 14, 2020

Not a problem..all my relationships petered out even when both of us were devoted Christians; my ex and I read the Bible, attended church, prayed, performed Christian music together, etc. but of course Christianity doesn't make anyone better, or improve their characters, and we divorced anyway.


Won't work with a Christian but would work for a Jew. There's no eternal soul non-sense.

ADKSparky Level 7 Jan 14, 2020

My first marriage was to a Moron (Mormon) when I, too, was a Moron. When I discovered that Moronism was false, I left the church and was excommunicated for apostasy (best thing the Morons ever did for me). My wife, still clinging to Moronism, took the children and disappeared. Later I was served with divorce papers. I will never again form a meaningful relationship with a person who is deceived by religion.


What do you want from this relationship? Are you ready to be tolerance?


I got into religion because I married a Christian. Of course my involvement was all on me. Still they can be very persistent about what they believe. Just try not to fall for their tricks.

Bioldguy Level 5 Jan 14, 2020

I've known several couples who had apparently meaningful such relationships, for long times. I've also known others who hardly get off the ground. I'm in one myself at the moment, but I would call it more "functional" than "meaningful". Of course, there are also hundreds of thousands of divorced once-wed Christians!! Probably not fair to focus too much on the religion - unless it's an extreme case! - and look at other aspects. First thing you need is a lot of respect for each other. If you have that and at least a touch of affection, then, absolutely an unqualified resounding definite "maybe". smile002.gif


I've been married to a practicing Catholic for 40 years. So my answer is yes, providing you know how to use the tools of compromise and understanding. However, if you are basing the success of a relationship on religion, versus a number of other more important issues, I don't think you have your priorities in order. Maybe you should walk away.

Yogisan Level 7 Jan 14, 2020

what does it matter what WE think? You are IN the relationship... tell us what YOU think.


Nope. Cuz eventually its gonna come down to your 'eternal soul', then all bets are off.


It's possible.. Just don't talk about religion


I couldn't do it unless he rarely spoke and brought me food.

I guess I could definitely have a Christian butler.

You're obviously dying to do it so the only thing you need to ask yourself is this.
If it doesn't work out, will you recover? If it won't kill you then take a chance.

Athena Level 8 Jan 14, 2020

LOL! ...Idk. Seems pointless if you have already lost your appetite. Perhaps if the person was entirely mute...

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