Quote by Henny Youngman:

A little Jewish Grandma is at the Florida coast with her little Jewish Grandson. The grandson is playing on the beach when a big wave comes and washes the kid out to sea. The lifeguards swim out, bring him back to shore, the paramedics work on him for a long time, pumping the water out, reviving him. They turn to the Jewish Grandma, and say, "we saved your grandson." The little Jewish Grandma says, "He had a hat!"

Short bio
Henry "Henny" Youngman was an English-American comedian and musician famous for his mastery of the "one-liner"; his best known one-liner being "Take my wife ... please".

All quotes by Henny Youngman

Quotes by other comedians

No touching… Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people’s fingers.

According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by someone in the White House. Well, second lowest. Dick Cheney got his down to zero a couple of times.

That's the perfect microcosm for men and women: it takes a million sperm to find one egg 'cause they're all males and not one of them is gonna pull over and ask directions.

I know the fashion is that everything is fair game for comedy material but I don't believe that.

I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.