ami-bovvered's Diaryland Diary



My 18 year old daughter came home this afternoon in tears. There's only one person who makes her cry like that, and that is her father. She made the mistake of asking him if she can merge the savings account that he is custodian of, with her new checking account. She knew he wouldn't be very happy about her asking, but it IS her money. Money that has been given to her as gifts from family members. He told her NO. She said something about needing it when she starts college in the Fall, and something to the effect of "what am I supposed to do, tell them I need to ask my dad for permission to pay for my classes?" He lost it and told her she is 18 now, an adult, and she can see what the real world is like. Somehow or other it got to the point where he told her if she doesn't like it, she can take her car to his house, park it and leave the house key too. This is a car he bought for her to use when she got her license. The car is older than she is, so I'm not talking about some pretty little sports car that daddy bought her. He told her he was planning to sign it over to her, but not now. So she asked him if she can have a couple of weeks so she can give her notice at work because she will no longer be able to get to work without a car (not to mention not having a car to get to school). I guess he agreed to that and then he told her that she is only hurting herself and not him.

I don't understand him at all. Not one bit. This is his daughter, who he is supposed to love more than life. His daughter who he is supposed to want the best for. All she did is ask for HER money. If he felt that strongly that she shouldn't have it yet, he could've gone about it all in a way that wouldn't have had her crying in my arms while her younger sister watched on in disbelief. But then, this is the man who, the day after her 18th birthday, went and petitioned the court to have child support for her stopped. I mean, I knew that was going to happen, but he had obviously been counting down the days. He just couldn't wait to not have to support her financially anymore. That's fine. I always find a way to make things work.

I told her I'd get my other car fixed (just a minor issue keeping it off the streets right now) and she can drive one of mine. She cried some more and said, "but we can't afford that." I assured her it will be okay. It always works out somehow. I'm not about to let this keep her from working and going to school.

Oh, and interestingly, today is the anniversary of my marriage to this guy (can't bring myself to call him a man right now). We would've been married 19 years today, had I not gotten fed up with his bullshit years ago. 19 years ago I was pledging my love to him. Today, I feel nothing but contempt for him.

And here is my song for my daughter today:

9:21 p.m. - 2011-07-04


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