

BEIJING—International Softball Federation officials met with the Netherlands softball team to explain the rules of the sport and provide helpful pointers mere seconds before their preliminary match against the United States on Sunday. "Now this long metal rod is called a 'bat'—that's what you use to hit the ball," ISF president Don Porter explained in the Dutch locker room as the players smeared eye black on their faces and palms and attempted to wear their batting helmets backwards as game time neared. An increasingly rushed Porter added, "Remember to always throw the ball underhand as hard as you can so that they can't hit it, and catch the ball before it hits the ground. Oh, and if you're batting and the ball is hit in the air, don't run to the next base until someone catches it, and if the bases are loaded and the batter hits a pop-up, she's automatically out if there are less than two outs, and keep your hands inside the ball when you swing to spray it to the other field. All right, now get out there! Hurry! Go, go, go!"The confused Netherlands team was eventually disqualified for attempting to play field hockey.


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