Friday, June 16, 2006

I'm a bad daughter

Well, well. Haven't I been slacking on the blog this week?

Won't even deny it!

Can't even deny it.

Really, though, I'm doing you all a favor. There is a limit to the number of times can I blog about:
a. the World Cup
b. Going to the gym
c. Seeing my cousin Danielle's musical.

I think I've tapped out options a and b. How about another hit of c, kids? More tales of humor and intrigue about Danielle's musical?

Okay. Since you asked so nicely.

My family and I saw Danielle's show last night and I wanted to kill my mother the entire time. The end.

In general, I don't understand why some people say that they absolutely cannot stand their parents, that they are so crazy that they make them insane, etc. I get along with my parents (and my sister. And the rest of my family.) just fine. They don't get on my nerves much. I like them for who they are.

And then there was my mother yesterday.

For reasons unknown, she was on the verge of strangling my father. And that was annoying.

She was on his ass the entire night (kudos to my dad for ignoring her).

Mom on his driving: "we'd like to get there ALIVE!"

Mom on Dad considering taking a different route: "take the way we know we'll get there. We're going to miss the show and spend all night driving around Detroit."

Mom on Dad saying that we'd leave in five minutes: "why don't we just go now so that we're not getting there at the laaaaast second?" (insert annoyed snort here)

Mom on Dad's choice of parking space (which happened to be the last one in the lot): "you are not going to fit there. You are absolutely not going to fit in there. And that car is going to hit Alyson's when it pulls out."

And she was making the biggest fucking deal about the air conditioning in the car. Which was unnecessary. You're squished in the back seat of Stella with two other adults; roll down the window if you're so fucking hot, lady.

It was just too much. I was all tense and agitated by the time we got to the theater. Lucy met us there and, as would only be appropriate based on her stellar mood, the first thing my mom says when she sees her is "Lucy! You are too young to be getting married."


At intermission, she decided that she would sing for all of us. Umm. Did you forget that you were in public? Or that you cannot sing? Or that we're all in the midst of seeing the musical and, therefore, do not need your interpretation of it?

After the show, when we went backstage to see Danielle, Mom was all "let's go. We need to go. It's time to go. We should leave. It's late. We need to leave. We should go. It's time for us to leave."

And, finally, when we can't take her nagging anymore, we're walking out the door and she is talking, talking, talking.

We waited for her.

I wanted to kick her.

It's good that I don't live at home anymore.


(schizophrenicwriter) said...

I feel you on that one... I've recently started spending a lot more time at home and (as close as I am to my family) everyone once in a while you just have one of those off days where everything about the family bugs you.

P.S. I hear you about the semicolon... I once did an entire project about the little guy. Have you read "Eats, Shoots & Leaves?

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