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[–]GuruBushHippie 5320 points5321 points  (120 children)

I had a teacher who gave me unsupervised access to all the attendance records and paperwork. I sold blank early dismissal and late entry slips. For a higher price I’d change people’s attendance record.

[–]GingerPale37 3510 points3511 points  (69 children)

This is the one that is actually pretty shady

[–]Sloppychemist 1223 points1224 points  (66 children)


[–]DomhnallTrumpet 718 points719 points  (45 children)

schools get paid based on attendance

the fuck is wrong with the usa

[–]calvanus 232 points233 points  (7 children)



Wow, that is really dumb.

[–]PhinsGraphicDesigner 23 points24 points  (1 child)

This is America!!

[–]SpOnGeBoBnO 10 points11 points  (0 children)

guns in my area

[–]RickToy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

But if we give them money they won’t have an incentive to get better!

[–]Cucktuar 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Most of the funding is based on local property tax revenue. As you might imagine, rich neighborhoods tend to generate more property tax revenue than poorer neighborhoods with lots of apartments and low-income housing.

[–]poneil 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Is that still the case? I thought the latest reauthorization of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act undid a lot of the more draconian aspects of the No Child Left Behind Act.

[–]StanTheManBaratheon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s been reduced somewhat and Obama’s Race to the Top tried moving grants from schools doing the best to schools showing the most progress in reformung, but it was a voluntary opt-in and naturally schools protested it by not taking part (ironically southern states that probably need the money most). And even that still uses questionable testing standards to decide achievement

[–]GuerrillaChicken 147 points148 points  (6 children)

Many many things

[–]Kagaro 0 points1 point  (1 child)

But not guns or the president... it's those damb mexicans.... If the usa hates mexican imigrants so much imagine how the middle eastern civilians hate the USA...hmmmm

[–]GuerrillaChicken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your tude sucks

[–]AdulaAdula 18 points19 points  (5 children)

A school that 500 kids show up to daily strangely needs more money then a school with 50 kids

[–]DomhnallTrumpet 21 points22 points  (2 children)

I figured it was meant like:

"Today only 300 of 500 showed up, you get less money."

If the school has 500 registered students, it should get the money for 500, no matter how many show up every single day.

[–]shnuffleupagus 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is more or less right. It’s based on a combination of enrollment, average daily attendance, and poverty/ local property tax revenues. School funding formulas are ridiculously complicated.

[–]Tycho_B 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think the ideal is somewhere between those two. The funding should be somehow linked/proportional to the average number of students in class on a typical day, with some built in leeway for average number of days missed by a typical student across the state.

Sure, if 200 students don't show up in a given week (say, due to some major flu outbreak or something) then the school's public funding shouldn't be automatically penalized. But if the school is averaging 60% attendance, it would seem somewhat problematic to fund for 100%. Obviously the issue is far more complex than we're making it, but in this theoretical scenario, the public funds would be used more effectively/equitably if spread to students who are actually in class.

IMO the bigger issue is the fact that public school funding in the States is tied to property taxes.

[–]damo133 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly, these idiots are getting angry and dramatic just for the sake of it. Of course schools with higher attendance will get a larger budget.

[–]hammer73time 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shh don't ruin the America is a hellhole circlejerk

[–]brbafterthebreak 8 points9 points  (10 children)

I’ve never heard of school getting funding based on attendance

[–]bicket6 17 points18 points  (9 children)

You think the school with 200 students gets the same funding as the one with 2000?

[–]brbafterthebreak 5 points6 points  (8 children)

Obviously not. But from what I read/understand it’s based on test scores and student performance

[–]Zack_Fair_ 9 points10 points  (7 children)

I think funding based on scores is waaaay more fucked.

[–]brbafterthebreak 3 points4 points  (6 children)


[–]GraysonHunt 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Not OP but the idea is to reward teachers that produce higher marks cause they’re doing a good job. The problem is that the lower scoring students probably need more resources to succeed and they’re being penalized against. They get lower marks, resulting in lower funding and less resources to help them, so their marks get even worse.

[–]Shlappz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It encourages schools not to teach kids valuable information, but to teach them how to game the system.

Funding based on attendance is also bad and encourages schools to lie about attendance, thus allowing kids to fall through the cracks.

In my opinion schools can only function optimally if they don’t have to worry about funding. I mean, there are other factors involved too, like a competent administrator and teachers that actually care about the students, but lack of funding or even just worrying about funding is probably the biggest limiting factor to the effectiveness of a school. As for how to fund the schools and achieve that, I’m not really sure tbh.

[–]IceMaverick13 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Mediocre scores = less money = less supplies for education = worse teaching = bad scores = no money = no supplies = even worse teaching = even worse scores.

[–]lord_thomas_gaben 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well think of it this way. Students in southern Indiana for example have a higher likely hood of being in poverty. They don't have access to quality tutors, books, or proper home lives maybe. Well they go to a school with a bunch of other students in similar situations. They also don't have access and come test time most of them go under and have comparatively worse test scores and the state and federal government see that and give less funds to this school. Well guess what!? They can't get newer books, they can't hire better teachers, so best of all they can't get better education. Come next year they get the same below average scores. They are stuck in an infinite loop of poverty. Richer districts get better education and more funding. Our education system is a failing garbage system of the past and this administration won't fucking do anything about it either.

[–]ITrytoattempt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Incentive to grade way more leniently. Some schools might even go further?

[–]BoobieBoobieButtButt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t see what’s wrong with it. They’re getting federal funding. The government wants to fund schools that kids actually go to. One way to incentivize the school enforcing attendance is to tie it to funding.


Schools' budgets are set by the number of kids they have to serve. They're not paid by the number of days a student attends school.

[–]Nesano 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's an incentive to do well. Oh, who am I kidding? You know that, you're just trying to talk shit on America because your country is inferior.

[–]Zack_Fair_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that's not really that fucked up. this isn't sick days being docked, it's essentially to keep kids in school

[–]FromU2E 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Attendance gives you an idea of the number of students you need to provide for...ie the amount of money that needs to be spent...what’s so confusing about that?

[–]randomguy186 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A nation of 300 million being centrally governed by a system designed for decentralized government of 3 million.

Centralized democracy simply doesn't scale that large.

[–]doggscube 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You haven’t watched The Wire

[–]skeddles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We think everything should be run like a business because we're all greedy. That's why Trump got elected.

[–]LauraMcCabeMoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The state pays your tuition for you. The school doesn't get paid if you're not there. It's on a daily basis, down to the dime. Think about it like tuition and it makes slightly more sense. Slightly.

[–]NuderWorldOrder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's called compulsory education and it's a problem almost everywhere.

[–]XarrenJhuud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should look up the private prison industry. Similar concept, the more people you have locked up, the more funding you get. These prisons actually lobby for harsher penalties on most crimes as well, making their jails even more populated and profitable.

[–]SleepyConscience -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And in a lot of places property taxes fund schools, so more expensive neighborhoods get better public school funding.

[–]pussyratatouille 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Wait actually? I thought it was only detrimental to the students?

[–]LoganJn 21 points22 points  (0 children)

No the school’s pay is determined by attendance, I remember talking to my superintendent about it last year.

Also any out of district kids pay a tuition in order to go to school there and if you don’t go every single day, you don’t have to pay the full $6000(I’m not sure if that’s the right amount per semester)

[–]Sloppychemist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nope. More kids more money

[–]Patknight2018 4 points5 points  (2 children)

That's fucked up. Lot of my classmates don't show up so I have to learn with low budget equipment or no equipment at all, that's how it works?

[–]sticklebat 2 points3 points  (3 children)

As with everything, it depends strongly on where. That is not how all states/districts work.

It’s actually pretty uncommon to have such a direct link between attendance and funding; usually the link is through the school’s rating, which is affected by attendance and in some places partially determines funding.

[–]Sloppychemist 1 point2 points  (2 children)

[–]sticklebat 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yes, there exist schools that are funded based on attendance. I never argued otherwise. However, it is not at all the norm in the US; the article you linked even says as much. Someone reading your original post would likely be led to believe that it’s how all school funding is determined throughout the country, when it’s really the exception.

[–]Sloppychemist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair point

[–]Fuchsialightsaber 4 points5 points  (2 children)

They get paid based on enrollment. You can have a student that's chronically absent, but still enrolled, and get funding for that student. Absences trigger a whole different process in some states, like being taken to court.

[–]MobileCauseNoPass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Disappointed, but not surprised.

[–]GuruBushHippie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody in administration at my high school were smart enough to do that. The entire attendance booth was a disorganized jumble of files dating back to when the school was built in the 80s. Administration probably didn’t even know I was doing stuff for her in there.

[–]Orangebeardo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What? Where? Wtf.

[–]AhH3ck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So that’s why private schools don’t care if you miss large amounts of time off school. Mine gives you a max of a month or two. You would get pretty far behind though.

[–]PM_Me_Happy_Lolis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

schools get paid based on attendance

Aaah, so that's why they give me an hour of Saturday school if I'm 10 minutes late.


What kind of source do you have? Or are we just supposed to take your word on it?

[–]Pats420 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's really on the teacher. No matter how much you trust a student, you shouldn't give them any of your responsibilities regarding classroom management including attendance

[–]SheZowRaisedByWolves 4 points5 points  (0 children)

School attendance is always shady shit. We had to bring funeral brochures if we were gonna miss that day for a funeral.

[–]eweidenbener 1193 points1194 points  (23 children)

Reminds me of my best friend in high school. First day of freshman year goes to the secretary and tells her that his dad noticed his number was wrong and gave her the "correct" number. It was his. So he could call himself out of school whenever he wanted and if he skipped, the school would call him to let him know. It was genius

[–]zomangel 556 points557 points  (9 children)

Until he breaks his leg or has a seizure and they urgently need to contact his dad

[–]cj__________ 468 points469 points  (6 children)

Unless his dad is a paramedic then he'll probably be fine.

[–]greenteamFTW 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Ooh I know this one, the doctor was his MOM!!

[–]CDNetflixTv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Out of luck. The kid has been the paramedic under his dad’s name for the past year

[–]Olilivlia 2 points3 points  (3 children)

They meant that they wouldn't call the dad cause the number was his friend's. Edit: fuck

[–]dranezav 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Right, but unless the dad is a paramedic, there isn't much he could do to help anyway. So even if they couldn't reach the dad, it's not like the kid would die because of it

[–]CozyPant 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My school had two contact numbers. Normal number and emergency. For most kids this was the same but they could be different. If you broke you leg they would call the emergency number first

[–]MarkCOYS -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Don't think calling his dad helps him, then again 'Merica so they can't just take him to a hospital.

[–]sumelsingh5 103 points104 points  (6 children)

My school had a voice recognition system, I have a deeper voice than my dad and I called in for myself to check myself out. They kept asking me questions to verify if I was actually my dad, eventually they assumed I was my dad and let me go.

[–]Karufel 117 points118 points  (4 children)

You're telling me, that they recorded every parents voice at enrollment and if the whole family was sick they assumed the child was skipping school? I can't believe that anybody would think that such a system (especially over the phone) would work and that the parents were fine with it.

[–]sumelsingh5 -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

There were contact numbers the school had on record to reference calls to when it got them for each student. I was dumb enough to call from my own phone (I said it was my dads work phone) which was warning number one for them. I think the system works by recognizing the voice per phone number, so when I said I was my dad they referenced my voice to the voice from my dads number and saw it didn’t match. They just asked me to spell my dads name, say his number, and say our address. They probably just assumed I had a cold or something lol.

[–]quantum-mechanic 74 points75 points  (1 child)

I guarantee you there was no voice recognition system. Schools can barely pay for staff let alone technology like that

[–]--24601-- 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Yup, that's absolutely the kind of bluff you can pull off on high school kids.

[–]authentic010 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Or you know, they were just trying to verify who you were by asking basic info about you(your dad) to make sure it wasn’t some random person.

[–]Zanki 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would just answer the phone as myself when they called to tell my mum I wasn't in school. They were always angry, demanding to talk to a woman who was at work and never had her phone on. Kinda crazy. I only ever stayed home maybe once or twice a year. Never understood what the fuss was about since I was never off, one day, even if I was skipping, isn't the end of the world.

[–]c_girl_108 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My school would send out a recording to your house if you were absent, but not for individual classes, just if you were absent from homeroom. As long as you went to homeroom, you were counted as present for the day and the recording wouldn't go out. I would just ditch school after homeroom.

[–]12345xgob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is truly amazing

[–]KGBXSKILLZZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this with every paper I had to fill out, I loved when a teacher would say "I'll have to call home" I'd always say "alright" and usually just answer on the bus 😂😂

[–]kn100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol I also did exactly this. Whenever I didn't feel like going in I'd get a text telling me this which was amusing.

[–]BambamLFC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same thing in my high school. They would just send a single text to parents saying we haven’t shown up today. All the kids that would bludge and go to the city or the beach would just give their own numbers lol

[–]Jcat555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently a freshman in highschool and heard a sketch kid that always skips tell another sketch kid this exact thing. 2nd kid was pretty amazed and I didn't see him for 2 weeks

[–]AccountWasFound 245 points246 points  (3 children)

One of the guys in my classes senior year had a BUNCH of forged early dismissal slips.

[–]nowhereian 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Senior year? Why not just sign yourself out with your own adult signature?

[–]AccountWasFound 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Even if you were 18, you still had to have permission from your parents to leave unless you were 18 prior to starting the school year, and had you parents fill out forms declaring that you were allowed to enroll yourself. It was really dumb.

[–]NoodleSpecialist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One for every occasion!

[–]yurassis21 136 points137 points  (1 child)

And here I wrote parents notes with fake signatures for free... lost business opportunity!

[–]SemperVenari 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know right? To this day, give me five minutes and an example, and I'll nail any signature you want.

I could have been buying drugs in HS instead of studying

[–]bungmunch 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I may or may not have photoshopped the writing out of one of my legit doctor's notes and printed blank copies to avoid flunking out over absences in senior year. I'm not saying it was a good idea, but it was a fucking great idea.

[–]ellayelich 11 points12 points  (0 children)


[–]akaenragedgoddess 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We stole stamps from doctor's office desks and printed letterheads to match and sold sick notes for $5 a pop. This was in high school late 90s and before everyone had computers and printers. Probably the most illegal thing I've ever been a part of. As smart as we were, we were totally unaware just how much trouble we could get in. There were probably some really strict federal laws specifying 10 years or whatever for what we were doing. Some other guy also sold test answer keys and I was never certain where he got them. I suspect now that he may have had an early keylogger on computers at the school, because he was really into comp sci.

[–]HappyAust 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]YerAhWizerd 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Im a good boi in school so im definitely doing this if i get that much power

[–]GuruBushHippie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mom actually found a stack of them recently in my old stuff so that was a good laugh explaining that whole scam.

[–]b3rn13mac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Power of the Office

[–]_Dobis_PR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've got it right here in front of me .... He has been absent nine times....

[–]dayoldhansolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a buddy who worked in the library that erased my fines.

[–]Raspberries-Are-Evil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nine times.... Niiiinnneeee tiiimmmeess.

[–]D-C-A 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally thought "Mother fucker" in Sam L Jacksons voice that was approving you

[–]GaimanitePkat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knew a kid who had stolen a pad of early dismissal passes from the office when he had detention or something one time.

I was trying to get a friend out of his last class so we could hang out (I had early release), and I had painstakingly crafted a forged early dismissal pass using Microsoft Word and a pass that someone had thrown away.

The kid saw me cutting it out and just gave me one of the passes off his pad. Considering I had a goody-goody/weirdo reputation and he was kind of a more thuggish type, I wonder what he thought of me at the time.