Inspirational and Inspiring Gifts

Blond Jokes


A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains. He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to have a hard time choosing.
Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.
The blonde promptly replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small - what room are they for?"
The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room, but they are for her computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But miss, computers do not need curtains!"
The blond says, "Hellllooooooooo! I've got Windoooooows!"


Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm.  He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV... The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.  The blonde looked at Jack and said,  "Do you think he'll jump?" Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will."  The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."  Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"  

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.  The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."  Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump.  

"The blonde replies, "I did too;  but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Jack took the money...


A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.

The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"

"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"

"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."

"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.


What in the world are you doing here?" he demanded. "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."

"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over -- so now we're going to Sea World."



The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooo, can you see Florida ???


A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'






There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'



A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'




'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'










The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.



A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'






'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs!'


Note: My wife is a Blond, so I mean no disrespect to blond women. But, some of the funniest jokes in the world are "Blond Jokes," so I can't resist. ;-)
And, NO... that's not my wife below... she's a real blond.

Blond Marilyn Monroe