Archives for posts with tag: meditation

Someone recently asked me for a meditation technique which I have written about in the past, but during a search for it I realized it might be easier to have it be at the top of the blog roll.

This is a gentle and healing method that is very simple and was passed on to me from an old friend just before awakening took hold. It was in fact one of several types of meditations that I used that helped to train my mind in how to trigger and sink into the part of our awareness where we process cosmic consciousness in the brain. This is the right brain, and to utilize its native focus requires a big shift in your awareness which I will describe to you as a potential outcome of this method.

It is my experience that this method can be an important prelude to awakening, but there also needs to be several other parts added in order to more fully prepare the energy body for this significant change that can take place once you are properly prepared. This technique is gentle so anyone can do it in order to learn about their powers of consciousness.

To begin, you should pick a time when you can be both relaxed but alert. I have always meditated before bedtime because my body was already trained to become deeply relaxed, a precursor for all meditation work. In Buddhism this is often done very early in the morning and it is done consistently, again, because the body will in time slip more easily into these deep states of calm. I will go to bed early so that I am less prone to just fall asleep. I also like having a quiet house and dim or even darkness to cut out any distractions. You might have times that work just as well with you that are different from how I do it. Do what works for you.

You can sit or you can lie down. Just be in a relaxed position. Place your hands together like you are praying. Do you ever wonder why so many traditions use placing the hands together? Could it be that it helps to bring the mind together in a unified way energetically?

I want you to imagine getting very small and standing in the crevices and grooves of where your hands come together and to focus only on your hands. Feel your hands and keep your focus on them and try to eliminate all thought reactions for as long as you can. You can start with doing breathwork if it helps to settle you and quiet your mind. Long deep breaths, focusing on just your breathing, works wonders for calming and quieting the mind. Breathe deep and long and hold the breath for at least three seconds, four or five might work even better…just don’t do it for so long that it makes you deel out of breath.

So here you are, focused on your hands. Just do that. Settle in. Eventually, your mind might wander, but don’t be upset with yourself. Just bring your awareness back to your hands again. Doing this will slowly train you to have longer periods where you are focused on just your hands and fingers. This is an important first step. Feel and focus on the place where your hands touch. Very simple.

You need to do this meditation for at least two weeks each day in order to see any benefits or results. This takes time in order for the right kind of shift to work within.

Over time, maybe quickly, you will notice that you might move from your usual awareness to an awareness where you lose your focus of self. I liken this to how we dream. We often aren’t aware of ourselves in quite the same way when dreaming. It is slightly….defocused. Have you ever been drifting off to sleep but found yourself suddenly in a kind of blank state, perfectly quiet, but you ask yourself “where am I?” only to jerk back to waking consciousness? This meditation will assist you in cultivating that awareness by letting your mind go blank for periods of time. This is the beginning of the shift I am relating to you.

This state is not a normal observer state and any effort to bring ego awareness into it will break the wave of awareness and any phenomenon that might be arising. This is not your “doer” consciousness, this is almost like dreaming consciousness. It works very differently than your waking awareness does.

Now you might begin having small dreams or visions with this method. Just observe and don’t judge. As you sit or lie with your hands together, just keep your awareness on the space between your hands. Being able to not disrupt the flow of phenomena is itself the challenge of this method.

I know how simple this method is, but it is hard because of how spare it is. It must be, in order to train you to shift awareness, but all the while it is also cycling your energy back into your system through joining the hands together.

It is important to be quiet in your thoughts so the energy can do its work. Its possible to experience a state of presence which is largely devoid of a need to think. If you are familiar with this state I am mentioning, you can use it here. Often we feel this state only fleetingly, but its time base can be stretched so that it lasts longer. Don’t worry if you can only hold this for short periods, this isn’t a race! And if you are unable to do this, concentrate on your hands and put your attention there.

Twenty minutes a day will work for this method, but it is even better if you can go forty minutes or an hour. Do what you can and start with where you are. We are all different.

In time, you will notice things happening. What exactly, I wont say because it can be different for each person, but know that this method is very healing.

Pay attention to your dreams during this time and see if you notice any changes. Do you notice any changes during the day? During the meditation being able to hold on to that state of nonlinear being which is the feeling nonverbal self is key. This part of you can begin to come forward and with it some very interesting things. When I say “feeling” I don’t mean your emotions. I mean your capacity to feel and to feel deeply.

The important thing is to not try and use your rational observer mind during this, but the part of you that sees but does not critically examine and think the way you usually do while awake. I know this might sound impossible to do, but give it a try and don’t worry whether you feel like you aren’t catching on fast. We are each unique and different.

If things start to happen, it just means that it is working well for you. If anything comes up that seems odd or alarming, don’t judge it, never judge, just watch it and observe with curiosity and interest, but let it pass as it does naturally. And if you wind up experiencing something that you don’t understand or are confused by, feel free to leave me a comment. I can see your comments before they get published so if its personal I can not publish your comment and then leave a comment of my own that answers your question. But most of what people experience wont be earth shattering or private, so I welcome your comments or questions.

Now as an aside, once you begin, you want to carry through each day with this meditation for at least two weeks. You will need to give it an opportunity to work its magic. If after the first week you feel like you are getting nowhere, simply stop. It might not be a good match for where you are. But if given time, this method tends to bring very good results when applied in the way described. If this method works for you, you can do the meditation while standing in line at a store by placing just a few fingers together. This helps to concentrate the energy in your body in a very particular way!

As an adjunct to this meditation, being able to learn what your biggest hot button issues are and do the work to bring energy to those places where they normally reside in your body will assist this work later for stimulating a more gradual opening to awakening. Choose something you can do, that is easy enough for you to deal with but that has dogged you most of your life. These are blocks and they impede the flow of this energy that is behind awakening.

For example, whenever you feel your stomach tighten or your heart cramped, these are signs of blocked energy in the body. Learning to know how to release them opens the light body to a better flow of prana or qi (chi). When you remove what divides you, you open yourself more and more to the flow of energy tied to awakening or kundalini. Go slow, take it easy, but also engage your intuition. Going at this with fear is not the way. You need to cultivate trust in the energy. While the energy is strong, stronger than you, it wont ever hurt or harm but seek to heal you even more, even if it all seems a bit much.

Have fun and let me know how it goes!


In my last entry I described a meditation I got caught up in that resulted in strong light activity, a phenomenon often tied to awakening experiences. After what was a very productive session, I decided it would be a good idea to revisit the meditation again to see if I could continue with the work. This time was decidedly different, but was oddly similar to the movie about the after death experience “What Dreams May Come” starring Robin Williams. In a similar way, it was also a bit like the movie “Inception” too. This was due to the lucidity present throughout the experience, I think.

When I say my meditation was like a movie, it’s not lost on me that there was an undercurrent of drama, hinting at a subsumed emotional energy, like a great big question lying in hidden veils at the center of some great edifice that kept coming up and up, over and over. But this meditation took me deep while awake, and then took me into dream, while I alternated between lucidity and full-on dream state and forgetfulness of earthbound ego awareness. This time, instead of brilliance, I delved deep into the shadow.


I have tended to see awakening taking on this kind of cycle; a moment of brilliance followed by a deep dredge of the muck as though one serves to bring up the other. It isn’t perhaps why many people misunderstand the power that awakening contains. It’s not all rainbows. It is more about clearing, cleansing, and it can be hard on you to do this kind of delving. I know it’s not fun for me….but it always comes with a reward that is forever reaped, an inheritance that remains perennial.

I slipped into the deep state. This part is the easy part. It’s being able to remain lucid enough inside such a deep lovely swirling eddy of energy and not lose consciousness, especially when it’s at the end of the day and you are ready for bed. I remained neutral, not seeking to do anything since the intention was already placed. I just had to wait for the subconscious and higher self to do their part. I was along as a witness to what would unfold. My cat lay next to me, again, purring softly, a few snorts as she drifted either deep or up out of her own deep sleep. This time, she would project right into my lucid dream, acting as a reminder to remember why I was there.

I wound up inside a dream. It was night and I was walking around an old house that I remembered having dreamed of years before in another shadow work dream at an earlier stage in my progress. Nowadays, dream imagery and its meaning tends to be much more direct or understandable than it ever was before awakening. For me, a house represents the construct of human consciousness. It is an image that Jesus often used, too, and it has been a consistent image each time I dream of it. In one dream I might be in a house, in another, a warehouse, or in one, I stood on the streets of a city as I observed the roots of some massive tree or plant that was growing in a large building, revealing its roots as it emerged through cracks in a deep stairwell….an image that spoke to me of the work that remained to be done in the root chakra, the foundation.

Last night, it was that same old haunted house. It had the weight of ghosts, of lives and people who had lived inside of it and now it lay abandoned. A moment of lucidity began to build and I felt myself dream while kicking into meditation all awareness simultaneously. The last time I was here, the dream ended with me discovering that I could lift up into the air; a clear indication of my letting go and allowing the organic force flow through me. I lifted up into the treetops. This time, though, I was solidly grounded. I pondered what else was there to clear out, to resolve in this tumble of an old home? It was in its own slanted way, a great life, but it wasn’t my life today, but one lived a long time ago. All of this was emblematic of the work I had left incomplete in that previous life, and here I was, having to set it right, to give it that moment of forgiveness it so needed in order to be free.

The house lay in a depression, between two sloping meadows. It must have been a lovely sight in its heyday, but it was lying in moonlight and was ramshackle. The large wrapping porch had sunk in, taking a wing of the roof with it. You could see into its interior and as I made my way around it, I realized how much it lay in shadow. “If there is to be light here, I am the one who must bring it…” I realized.

Just as I thought this, I felt myself lift and the dream fall away from me. I was warm in bed, and only had a moment to ponder as, like a swimmer, I went right back in, grabbing a quick breath as the waves of sleep lapped over my head and everything went muffled and I lost ordinary waking consciousness, trusting that I would find myself again on the other side.

I was walking in yet another building, another old house, and this time I was inside it. There was no light, and windows down the hall and into a large outer room were painted over a kind of greenish color. Drapes hung in tatters, and there was a drip of water that made a smacking sound as each drop filled a puddle on the wooden floor, now a wash of sepia in the dark of the night. I remembered this house, too. This was one I didn’t like at all. It looked like it hadn’t been lived in in forty years. Nothing was bright about this place, it had a dank and decaying feeling to it. I kept walking though, wondering if I would find something that would mean I had broken through to something. I noticed kitty was with me. She has a name, but she knows kitty best. Sometimes she is monkey, sometimes Georgette. There she was, her tail flicking upwards. I could hear her thoughts, wondering why we were here, then immediately realizing that she was in my dream. She settled in after that and began following alongside me with less trepidation. She predicted that we wouldn’t be here long,and she was right. I surfaced yet another time out of sleep and felt my deep breathing. It was like being awake, but feeling the spell of dreaming still all around me.

The answers didn’t come in the usual fashion. So much of these places represented aspects of myself from the past, mostly distant, unresolved, lying unseen, needing badly to be seen. They had a surrealistic quality to them. I felt that edge of…fear, dread, and yuck about it. But that was exactly why I had to go back into these old haunts. I wasn’t there seeking to do what a guide once admonished me never to do, which was to try and drag it back into my life again. No, this was different. The idea that I had to carry the light into these darker corners was what this was all about.

Awakening is ruthless. You can’t bullshit yourself. Only when it’s completely clean, clear, forgiven, can things be forgotten. Until our inner compass is satisfied, we wind up going back to those places to sweep that little remaining bit of shadow away. I felt like I was ingesting it, taking it in so that I could metabolize it into light. Kitty stirred and looked at me through blinking eyes, sleepily, her head up, then back down, nonchalantly falling back in for another round of sleep. This felt like it was turning into a tag team wrestling match, dipping into lucid dreaming using meditation as the launching pad.

I kept at this all night in a marathon of visitations, never knowing where I would end up next, but in each case it was some long forgotten building, some old remnant that I have inherited in this go-round and am tasked with emptying of what is less than it’s best. Like  a big cleaning. You know how it is. You pull out the big stuff and haul it away, and with each time you go back, the particles get finer and finer until you go from sweeping up the last bits to wiping up the dust. This is all old business, an old self, a past life, and it’s now being brought forward.

I thought about that first house I dreamed of in the months before awakening came. It was all so much brighter, more optimistic. A road led up a hill with a creek running beside it. The creek grew stronger the closer I got to its headwaters, which revealed how this wasn’t an ordinary body of water. It was prana itself, filled with symbols and brilliant. How could water be so bright? Climbing the hill, on the right, was a beautiful arts and crafts meets Zen monastery. Built from large beams, the building interlocked, revealing its construction. Stone rose up through its middle, and when you walked inside you could clearly see two fountains inside, split down the middle, representing the Ida and Pengali currents with the Shushuma in the middle. That was my house, my temple, a place that was more than just home, but was who I was. It still is. But since that time, I have had to venture out into the past in order to heal it and cleanse it. Actually, I can’t even say it is I who does this; clearly my earthbound self isn’t up to this, but something deeply rooted in me is. It is this part of me that teaches, reveals, redeems, and ressurects. I wish dream could be brighter sometimes, but there are plenty of regular dreams that are, and besides, digging into shadow always resolves some deeper sense of feeling ill at ease in me.

It would be great if I could offer some grand finale, but an ending is itself a beginning, a new thread is discovered and it’s then followed through until something big is exposed from the rubble. Another chapter is begun even as additional chapters emerge. Over time, what I have found, is the gradient becomes finer and finer. It actually gets harder to keep the shoulder to the grind stone sometimes. It’s easier…the energy is less turbulent and it doesn’t stir me in the same way. But what I also find is that in some ways it’s a little easier simply because so many blocks have been removed. The blocks have gotten harder, but the level of confidence has been forged in the flame of awakening. As if that makes any kind of sense, right? The easy stuff came away first, and when I put myself into energy work like Chi Gong, material cascaded away, and this continued for years. Thousands of blocks, I figure, big and small, always burrowing down deeper and deeper.

For me, the hardest blocks lay deep down. For me, the root was where the hardest wounds lay. And despite all of this, I was able to manifest truly remarkable opportunities in my life, and when I was ready, events have simply fallen into place. When I was ready to fund the next phase of my life after a collapse of the markets, I waited, keeping my wealth in assets I could relate to, which was real estate. Even though I saw half the value of my property evaporate, it also came back during a confluence of events when I was ready to make my next step. Wanting in truth to sell directly to a buyer instead of a realtor, my soon-to-be realtor cancels when she gets too busy with a market which suddenly was going crazy. Deciding to sign papers for representation in another three days, I’m contacted by a family who heard through the grapevine that I was going to list my house soon. They asked if they could buy it directly from me, an outcome which I had wished for in my heart. While taking a nap hours before I would speak to them on the phone, I see them in a meditative state, not knowing that they would be talking to me later that day. Before I was set to sign papers with my realtor for representation, they brought a contract. I was able to sell to a family who had loved my house for years and were having trouble even seeing homes because of how hot the market had heated up within months.

Now it might be a big question what this has to do with my work. What I have found is that as each block is removed, so too are the blocks to manifesting the events in my life that support what needs to come next. This isn’t for me about chasing wealth, but finding my own inner abundance, which is less about money as it is about opportunity and helping to make others lives better. There is so much feeling of loss and lack, and for years I too fell for this feeling. But often, the things I chased after weren’t the things that would have been good for me. That was why they were hard. What is easy comes like magic. These things emerge in perfect timing. Life is increasingly different as the years roll, and as the air clears. Life is more a series of serendipitous events that have purpose and flow, pushing some old block to the surface, or leading to the next step. Something bigger is in control. That might sound superstitious, but it’s not. As division falls away, there is a marriage of the small self with something larger within. This is about bridging the gap and clearing the way for this to happen, and it’s not done halfway or half-assed. How’s that for mystical musing?

Whatever it will be for you, getting out from underneath the tangles holding you back, is what brings the change. For now, the work continues, and who knows what is around the corner.




I only want one thing for you, if you are blazing with the fire and rushing with the rivers running through your heart and soul as your body is taking this wild ride of awakening: to make it count.



You can push this beyond what you think is possible, you can reach for the ripe fruit. You can dare yourself, you can reach uncharted waters.  I have been there, and I am egging you, nudging, waving my arms.  Its here.



Imagination is the portal through which you will go. Learn to trust it.  If you bring the awakened state with you, as you sink into it and it fires up, a world will emerge before you.  Blank slate at first, but hush, be quiet; its up ahead.  I am pointing you to the impossible.  I am asking you to make the unknown, known. Now lean into it.  Lean into it and ask a question….but that question should be something that you are really interested in.  Its not stock quotes or the lottery; you are here for the secrets of the universe, right?  Ask about how things go, the root cause of things.  Do not expect an answer, just make the call inside of your mind.  This is the inception.  It broods, it grows, it gestates. This is how it goes.  Wait.  But be ready. At any moment, it could come.  Make awakening your friend, make it your partner.  In it will be everything reflected.  But disbelieve that you can even do this and poof! It scatters like light in rain.



Then you are lost.  You are stuck with what you think you know, relying on what your senses have been telling you, which is itself a limited story.  You don’t need to read or acquire knowledge in the old way.  There is a new way, a way that has been used for a long time by a very few people.  It isn’t magic, and its poorly understood.  It just takes getting in the right grooove.



Feel with your body. Stop the mind.  This is how you shift out of the physical senses.  It is also how you can make your awakening count by doing this.  It does not seem legitimate simply because our world is awash in the belief that you can’t do this.  But you CAN.  I have, and so can you.  Sink into it, and let the mind go blank.  Its easy once you know how.  So slip into that delicious space where you don’t have to think or worry, you are in that place where you feel Presence.  It is YOUR presence that meets the Tao.  The One.  Its simple, no thunderclaps.  In fact, no one would believe you had done it, so let the haters hate, the empty suits just be empty.  You have this.  It is all done through feeling.  Its how its been done for centuries.  FEEL your body, FEEL your energy.  Let it grow and increase. Its so simple, so easy, yes?  Get quiet.  Feel those eddies and currents begin to flow and increase.  That is the first part.  Your mind goes quiet, you focus inwardly.  You are almost there…



You let your body FEEL it and the mind goes silent.  There, as you wonder if its even working, is the first thread.  Just grab it with that empty mind and don’t worry what will come.  FEEL it!  The more you learn to feel, the more of it that will come. This is the secret.  This is the reverse of rational thought.  It’s okay, you can do this, you have permission.  Play.  Consider.  What is there to lose or risk?  Then, it will seem as though some part of you is magically coming up with ideas, images, concepts. They will slowly begin to resolve.  Reach beyond what you think is possible.  It is like being suspended in thin air and all of a sudden land builds around you to support you: impossible, you think.  But there it is, a world is forming.  Let form build.  See where it takes you.  Everyone will go in the direction that they are most intimately interested in.  That is always the best stuff because it is so close to your heart, you see.  Your imagination is stepping beyond mere production to reception.  This is the other side of what imagination is! As you go, things add up….ideas stack up in your head.  You feel excited, you feel inspired.  It all seems crazy, your rational mind is in fits.  You let the rational mind go in circles for a while longer as you tease more and more threads from thin air.



I will tell you that I saw how matter is formed from energy using this method.  I wanted to know, but I did not know how it could be known.  Weeks later as I sat in a park I felt the inner Presence speak: “Look at the trees” it said.  I did, and I felt something pull me inward through their leaves and cells, down into their compounds, atoms, then subatomic particles.  All of this, through my third eye, I saw as if in my imagination a world explode into view.  I was there, feeling the warm breeze and watching carefully as my child played in front of me.  I was all completely there, tantalizingly present, totally aware of everything, yet this energetic presence was supporting me and showing me another channel.  My mind was fed information about that place where matter turns into energy and energy into matter.  It took me years to untangle it, to understand that what I was seeing had been described by such great minds as Plank, Heisenberg, and more.  I knew what I had seen was true, but really, who would have believed me?  I hadn’t gone to school for this, I hadn’t studied for years in books, and I hadn’t worked on advanced formulae.  I simply got pulled down into it and saw it first-hand.  I related to what I was feeling.  I FELT the phenomenon as an atom might feel itself.  I WAS the phenomenon.  I had to translate it, make it into something my mind could grasp.  But I did, and you can too.  All of this took only moments. I kept going back to it over and over, just to get a better look, and to satisfy my rational mind that it was real.  Of course it was real.  Doubters will always doubt, and that is the rational mind for you…


Seers have done this for centuries, and because it was so poorly understood they were often oppressed.  You do not need to fear this this time around.  The world supports this, this way is built into the very molecules of life and matter.  It is encoded into the All like light shines through our world.  This thread can lead you to many other worlds and can fill your life with inspiration, creativity, and life.  It IS life.  A forgotten life….but you can remember it, and the more who do this the easier it will be for others.  I have blazed a trail as others have, too.  Just follow the path of least resistance into the underbrush.  Feel the currents pull you.  Trust the universe in the wisdom and structure built into it.

We can all do this, it isn’t so hard.  It is reading the light.  It is teasing strands out of the ether, and it can be used for the good of all.  We can learn how to do this and we can teach others. We have this one moment in the sun of our illumination where this can be done and passed on.  It need not be covered over in myths and legends, or in misconstrued notions about how reality is or might be.  You need only consider that it could happen….




















Here is a link to one of their songs on youtube:












This is his Youtube channel:


































Until next time,



Its been five years to the day that I began writing on WordPress, and my how time flies! It is also a date that is very close (within days) to the day of the full rise of kundalini five years prior to my incept date on Waking The Infinite. No, that wasn’t planned, it’s just how it happened (the blog and awakening). Since then, it’s been my pleasure to share with you the many insights I have been blessed with in my journey, as it’s been my sincere desire that some of it may help you in your own journey by being aware of what is possible.
With there never being a dull moment, I will share with you something that took place last night that I have not experienced before that took me by surprise. But first, a little back story….
Recently I posted about how the use of binaural beats can aid in inducing deep brain states. I even included a link to one such video that has resulted in some rather startling results. The audio I have been using has been tuned into the brain wave range of Delta and Theta brain wave activity and has helped me to quickly enter those states while still awake. Let me know if you want a copy, I am happy to send you the links.

This is the post link:
I am doing this work to aid in the healing of the last remaining block in my body. As I have written before, these blocks can be places where entities can attach to feed on the lower vibrational energy that these blocks create (we are actually creating this energy in the block). But once the light body is healed, the attraction ceases, the moths go elsewhere, and the light body is returned to a more pristine state. Energy goes from intense to smooth. Emotions are less disrupted. I have been keen to root out this last presence and heal the wound.

In the last meditation with this a few weeks ago, I had inner light activity that I associate with other consciousnesses entering my field. I used to experience them whenever I would think about another person such as the one who I thought was my soul twin. She would have a consistent color to her light as she would wink in with a brilliant star-light flash signaling “hi!”

This time, though, as part of my awareness was out of my body looking down through my light body, I saw a red flash that flared deep down in the lower core of my body. Inner mind said calmly, “That was the entity.” As soon as that happened, I felt it move for the first time….ever. It’s an odd sensation, much like how it might feel when something moves on top of the blankets; there is no sense of feeling movement except by way of the vibrations it makes. It has a hollow indirectness to it that feels so….curious. I hadn’t felt that since 2008 when I released from my body several entities who had took up shop in my field since who knows when. I knew they had all gone, all but one that remained too hard to see. “Huh?” I thought. I kind of shrugged and figured that I would root it out once I was ready. But it has remained very hard to see. I only became aware of it once I had cleared away all but one small area of blocks, which is where this little devil is. Interestingly, I have become increasingly aware of it in a variety of new ways. It isn’t that I don’t know, it’s that I think it doesn’t want me to know or think about it….and it seems try to be as hidden as possible. I have seen how healers, even people who know how to remove entities will miss these because they are so dug in. Something is happening though; something is clarifying more and more.

Right after I saw its dim red flash indicating it’s presence on my right side down in my hip, I saw another light come in from about my heart chakra that was unlike any other light I have seen before. Normally when I close my eyes and see the flash of light of someone either feeling me or checking in, it’s a single well defined burst of light. I see them as being like starlight. some are big, some are small, but they always appear like that as thought reaches thought. I have learned to know who each light is over the years. I have known three such lights like this well, and they are all very different. Sometimes I can figure out who looks like what by simply sending a thought in a person’s direction and seconds later I see their colored light burst into view. The color reveals their soul’s essential vibratory rate. It is a lot like reading an aura. To see them I need to be relaxed, in the dark, and usually lying down. And no, this is not the effect that happens when you go into a darkened room where phosphene in the eyes shoot off creating bursts of light. These are different and most often happen up to an hour after going to bed. Plus, the lights are consistent in that they are the same size and color when I am thinking of that person. It’s like a projection of their thought energy and I’m just getting the end if the thread as this little burst that tells me who it is.

This “new” light was very different, though. It was larger, and it looked like it was composed of many smaller lights. I had never seen that before, so I watched it as it dove down towards the red light. It had the effect of seeing a light through a window screen with your face close to the screen. It created this effect of a tight cluster of golden light which, as I watched it, also looked like a distant candelabra in a cold room. Candles lit in cold conditions often quiver and pulse instead of being languid in their movement. As I gazed on it I knew what this was!

It was a seraph. A seraph means “fiery one” and the Seraphim are an ancient form of angelic being that has been described in Judaic thought as beings who surround God in their wings.And you might wonder how I made that connection. Well, when I looked at the many lights the movement and light spoke to me. It told me directly what it was. It was a direct transmission of energy.

For those of you who have followed my writing, you might recall my encounter with a being who revealed himself to me after what seemed to have been a 20 year absence, and who explained that he was a Seraphim. During my awakening, he had become visible to me again. The flash of pulsating fiery gold light was my angelic guide and protector emerging into my field of awareness again. As long as I had a certain person in my life, I was completely unable to see or feel him. But with my field clearing, he has begun making appearances again. To be honest, he has explained to me that he is with me all the time, I am his charge; it is I who does not always have the ability to feel him even though he is ever-present.

I watched his light as he plunged deep into my field and winked out. And then nothing. Huh. I continued with the meditation and drifted into sleep. Sometimes these events take place and then, boom, nothing. What I find is some kind of work is taking place just out of my range of awareness. Sometimes it becomes clear days, weeks, or months later.
And then there was last night.

I plugged in my headphones to my player and eased under my down comforter. I could feel it’s weight on my body, pushing me gently down. With the binaural beats coming in, I moved quickly into a deep state. I felt really relaxed, and happy. I have been getting so much done on my house getting it spruced up. I just felt very satisfied. And within seconds I began to feel it; the house began to shake. “Holy shit!” I thought, “there’s an earthquake!!” I laid in bed for what felt was thirty seconds as I felt the whole house vibrating in a trending vibration! I laid there, still deeply relaxed, waiting for plaster to begin breaking free from the ceiling, but there was not even the slightest whiff of dust.
I studied the vibration as it happened and I noticed how incredibly regular the tremors were. “My God, these vibrations are so perfectly spaced!” I had this thought rise in my mind that, you know, I probably ought to get up and try to get outside because I didn’t need to have my life end right then and there! I mean, I have been doing this exercise that has released so much of my fear over death, a practice or technique where I have literally purged fear of death from my cellular memory, with the perhaps unfortunate effect that I don’t feel very alarmed when “bad” things happen like oh, say, an earthquake!
As I lay there my guidance pointed out, “It’s too regular to be an earthquake…you are having a body quake…” And the joke was on me this time because for as real as that earthquake felt, as I studied it I realized that the source of the vibration was coming within me!

Was my body shaking? Was this like those early experiences in awakening when my body felt like it was being rung like a giant bell that had these deep repeating vibrations that shot through my whole being?

So it seems that something is unfolding, but I begin teaching again tomorrow, so who knows if my work will pause any of this very interesting work taking place.
As I lay there thinking about this and whether having this shady person no longer in my life has been allowing the veils to lift in my awareness I hear his voice explain, “Even when it’s someone else’s deceit in them, you can take it into yourself as if it is your own….but it is poison to all who dare drink of it!”
Live and learn…live and learn.

P.S. I’m all ready for school tomorrow and it’s time to get to bed, so it’s clothes out of the dryer and my things together for the big day. I’ll put the headphones on again and see where it takes me tonight. Fingers crossed!




An Intro To Binaural Beats

























In Indian Yogic tradition, the seven rungs of the ladder to cosmic consciousness involve preparation.  You can spend lifetimes climbing these ladders.  Many do.  The belief among nearly every person brought up in this tradition is that you cannot achieve the cosmic without years of preparation.  You just can’t. It is also one reason why I have witnessed people telling me on my blogs from India that what I am talking about cannot be kundalini.  Oh.  And you need to get diksha from a teacher.

A teacher.  Wait…the guru is in you, am I right?

What is happening to most westerners who have been experiencing a broad wave of awakenings is that this old notion is just not so.   Does this mean that the old rules are no longer applicable?  No.  In fact, the “rules” never really applied to us in this regard.  You CAN get there without preparing.  Most Swami’s and yogi’s are fond of saying that when you awaken, you are not attaining anything.  You are only reaching what has always been there.  I agree.  It is the authentic state which nearly every person on the planet has been holding back the flood waters of.  Yes.  But preparation is not a prerequisite.  Preparation is a very good idea, though.

The fact that so many have awakened without a discipline or belief or structure to support them helps to turn old notions on their head.  It also provides me with a view of awakening that comes at the experience from a completely different vantage point.  Without preparation, the self if pitched into a very intense experience where a lot of work needs to be done fairly quickly in order to assist in the reorientation of the self so that large sums of prana can flow through the self and body unimpeded.  Without this, the self tends to crumple, contract, freak, become anxiety-ridden, fearful, or even psychotic.  It is like taking a step outside of your home one morning and finding that there is nothing there and that in order to get to anything, you have to take a giant leap forward in order to land on solid ground.

It means you hurry up and do the work that you need to do.  But it also means that you come at all of this from a very different direction.  The traditions are turned on their head.  This means that with the accelerant of pranic flow present that what you do is also much more effective if you apply yourself to your own intuition and seek ardently.  The higher self is available to you if you just realize that you CAN tap into it.  Awareness is key.  The moment you slip into the old concept of ego, you lose a bit of its power, its majesty that can shoot you to the moon.  Feet on the ground, soul soaring high and free.  There is abundance in both modes of being.  It is not either/or but both. Events will change and life will become your great teacher in ways that show you that every single moment has been a lesson for you.  Good golly, how can I even begin to describe the lessons that pop up in the moment for me in each day?  Life is now rich with these now that I am looking for them, aware that they are there.  And this has the effect of transforming how you see everything.  It sounds grandiose, but its actually quite simple. It is a new way of seeing that is the result of the self thinking to itself that it is mundane and singular and not connected to the All. When you feel the connection to the universe in a nondual way, it is a revolutionary experience because it changes your world view so radically, but also very quietly.  Only here do I crow about it.  I crow about it because of just how amazing it has rendered the old tones and hues of my life.

What I observed in what triggered my awakening is something that I think is of vital importance for us when we speak about awakening.  The Hindu tradition masks this to a certain degree with all of the methods and years of preparation.  And it is this: when you remove what divides you, awakening comes.  I noted this as central to my awakening experience.  When I went to look for some corroborative evidence out there on the internet that others had had my same experience (I didn’t know this had a name like “awakening” or “kundalini”), I found ancient Christian texts that had not made it into the orthodox teachings and were considered heretical.  These documents, it turns out, are part of the origin of Christian thought and instead of being heresy as those in the church have tried to maintain, are now being revealed to be part of the very origin of central teachings of Jesus.  Things get complicated with this, but trust me….I have done extensive research into this area and this is supported by significant research in the last century by historians and linguists.

Awakening without preparation is not impossible.  You just have to contend with a lot of very intense things, many of which are the product of things shrouded in the old belief systems you have had in place previous to it taking place until you can see things differently and BE different.  YOU are the change you want to see in the world.

I know that with all the info out there with systems and methods that it might sound simplistic for me to say that ALL of this is about allowing the flow of prana, but really, that is JUST what ALL of this is.  Along with pranic flow comes the breaking down of your old beliefs along with certain parts of your personality that have been tied to ideas or beliefs that were limiting in nature.  A LOT flows out from prana moving in high volume in the body including the Dark Night of the Soul, siddhis, and a whole range of awakening phenomenon.  But it is just this simple.  Like a mustard seed, you see. It grows large, unbelievably large as it develops.

This can be done.  It is how I did it.  I know, that in a way, I was preparing for years, I just never did yoga or adhere to a belief system or any of that. Is it really effective to go about it this way?  I know that for myself, there was a level of perspective that came with awakening that I don’t think I would have been able to embody had it not been for the whirlwind cleansing that took place during awakening.  I was stuck in my life. I was afraid to make any more because of how the people were in that life.  Awakening helped to shake me out of complacency and showed me my life in brilliant contrasts.  I don’t think I could have gotten to where I am now without it.  It was the missing ingredient I had been seeking my whole life.  In fact, my “seeking” simply came to a complete halt once awakening came. I felt this odd sense of, “…..I am here.  I have done it.” When I thought I had lived an examined life the higher self showed just how pinched and small my perspective had been.  Like a fool, I woke up and realized that yes, this thing is a whole other realm of understanding the self.  And in order for it to keep doing its work, you cannot delude yourself but remain open like a child to the possibilities that what you know today, while vastly different from before awakening, is itself just another point along the road.  the road, meanwhile, goes on for light years….. right?  Each moment can thus become a humbling moment if you let it.  Precious, special, and the only one like it.  So much around it expands into larger dimension making everything here seem inconsequential…..and yet I find that no; every sparrow falls and it is known.  This thing, the divine, interpenetrates everything. And so?  Everything waxes sheer marvel.  There is no such thing as inconsequential.

Waking up is a call to hurry up and do the “work” which is surrendering to the spirit that is what connects you to the divine, the higher self, and to what you are within.  Simple.  Everything else is details.  No I know; what position to sit in?  Whatever is most comfortable to you.  Really.  Diet?  Your inner self will tell you.  Your body will tell you.  Mantra?  “Surrender.”  You don’t need a method.  You only need yourself and a willingness to see it in a new way.  I know this because I have done it.  So can you.


If you know me, you know that I am a nothing-is-sacred-integrative-big-picture kind of guy.  Instead of buying into any one system for practice or belief or method, I feel like I am constantly catching the good fish in my nets and letting the ones that don’t serve go.  Over time I have collected what I know for myself are the things that are “right on” about many practices or methods. Life is just too short to be studying some aspect of a centuries’ old system that has something way off.  I am of the mind that each culture got things right and some things not so right. I also do a lot of observation as someone who is more sensitive than he ever was pre-awakening and continues to clarify his inner sensing, an aspect of awakening that anyone who has had it gets and is intimately familiar with.  It is one of the benefits of awakening, which is the shedding of old blocked material so that the universal force can flow through us unhindered (or more less so!).  By letting our lenses go clear instead of tinted, we see more and more as it is instead of how we might want it (rose colored glasses, for as nice as that is, is still coloring things 🙂 ).

WHat I have found is that many eastern methods work very well for a range of achieving certain results.  Chi Gung (also spelled “gong”) works very well for releasing blocks as does deep tissue work with someone who knows how to feel or detect blocks and work on them.  Reiki and cranio-sacral are likewise other healing methods that are likewise very helpful.  Yoga, too, has evolved to help the body and the energy system come into alignment.  All of these methods though are like going to the airport.  Awakening is the flight.  So it pays to get ready for going to the airport, to have what you need when you embark on this journey.  But what is the core goal of all of this work?  Think about it; it is about union.  Yoga itself means “union.”  But union with what?  With ourselves as the individualized portion of All That Is.  By becoming more in union with yourself, you spark the process that leads to awakening, and awakening is the alchemical force that can release you from your prior bondage.  You might think I am crazy saying this, but it is hard to know just how laden we all are with the dross of a thousand lifetimes.  So much is deeply buried in us and we have evolved to shove it down and go on with our focus outwardly through the sensual three-dimensional world of our senses.  Looking outward, we literally forget our past, that this material is even there.  Awakening is the the….wake up call that this backlog is there, waiting.  And so the work begins.  And it can take years.  But worth it?  You better believe it!

Every time I have ever worked with any method, what I have found is that so many methods are meant to aid us in one thing.  It is meant to help us to FEEL.  Now when I say “feel” I mean our capacity to sense inwardly.  I am not speaking about emotion.  When we are able to feel at our most fundamental level in a clear direct way, we also have a tendency to be feeling the pure flow of the universe.  This flow is prana and prana brings bliss.  Bliss brings a sense of peace, joy, wonder, and awe.  This has the effect of softening the mind to open it to new patterns and the erasure of old error-ridden patterns.  This is all about our neuroplasticity as well as our psychic moldability.  If the universal force is doing the work of reshaping you, then it means a super-consciousness is setting things right.  So surrendering and allowing yourself to just feel is central, although it is incredibly simple, perhaps too simple for most, but who was it that said “be ye like children”?  The reasoning mind simply gets lost in the dust for the simple reason that so much of our big picture thinking resides in the right brain.  It is also where our awareness of enlightenment has enough room to unfold.  If you read through the past posts on my observations about what is the kundalini Shakti physiologically, you will know that it is in our right brains.  There is a lot of observations being made that help to support this view, even very direct ones made by Dr. Jill Bolt Taylor who essentially spoke into precisely what I was thinking and observing during awakening. the only difference was that I did not need to have a stroke in my left brain in order to make the observation.  But for those who need empirical evidence, it doesn’t get much better than her own TED talk a few years ago.

Knowing that this all comes down to feeling, ask how your own local landscape aligns to where you are today energetically.  The blocks in our bodies also have a way of extending outward and get mirrored in the world around us.  As a result, our homes that we buy or apartments that we rent often have had residents in them whom we may never know but who have spooky similarities to us.  I bought a house from a couple who I discovered at the closing were in the midst of a divorce.  I later was divorced.  We had a house that had a strange block in a room in the house that I could feel as troubled somehow.  It wasn’t exactly like it had a ghost, but it did have the ghost of some indefinable hurt in it, though.  When someone I knew wound up in that out of the way room in the basement exhibiting the same exact sense of desperation that I had been feeling in that space.  While meditating I was able to feel into my work space and was able to feel how the blocked spaces in my body corresponded to certain areas in the building.  By clearing those spaces as well as doing work on my own home, I found that my own blocks began to clear bit by bit.  WHat tied them all together was how I felt inside, the associations and connections that all of this had with a deeper cause or condition.

So it has come to pass that as I do work on my home, I focus on how I am clearing it of those blocks that mirror inside of me. And the result? I am now in what I feel is the end-stage of clearing blocked material.  This material, I will point out, is the last to go because it is the material that my own self has held onto the hardest.  By bringing this intention into the moment, day by day, I feel how digging into my flower beds also mirrors a digging down into my own root.  By stripping paint that badly needs to go, I can feel the layers of memory being peeled away.  I can literally feel how the layers of memory soaked into those old paint layers and the layers of memory in me are also peeling away.  I meditate on this, a kind of active doing meditation.  As I do this, I am also changing the vibe of my home, changing the type of person who will ultimately be attracted to it when I put it on the market.  It will be an interesting process to watch unfold as it has.

This is all like a play of feeling.  Dirt becomes the flesh of my body, the old roots the old tangle of weeds in my energy body.  They pull and hold and then give way.  I lovingly and gently put them to sleep and kiss them up to All That Is.I shift placement of objects, and the flow in the space changes.  I learn to think differently.  I see differently, through new eyes.  The outer presses the inner and the inner presses a new vision outwardly.  As within, so without (to misquote the old maxim), as what is within is so without.  This can become a powerful and useful form of inner work since it is so tangible, but it can powerfully stir the energy body and the mind.  It also upsets and turns over the energy stuck in your outer environment that is a product of your own inner thinking.  It can lead to some confusion sometimes, but hang on.  Give it time.  For me, a 24 hour period is all that is needed to allow all the old material to completely clear.  Saying this, I know that when something clears, it is instantaneous, but there is a seeking a new balance, which for me only takes a day or two at most, a feeling of loss or upset at the loss of the old ballast held in the belly of the boat of your soul.  Good that it is gone; you are now more buoyant.


This post is what was promised from my last post about the core of methods of practices….

I was flush deep in the roiling seas of kundalini.  It was 2009.  I had been moving a lot of blocked energy and with each release I could feel how the prana impacted my body in the turbulent state, energetically, that I was in.  It had an effect on my system that included a lot of nausea.  Every few days I would come against not just one, but a series of blocks.  this is good, but it also made things intense and a little much to take physically.  But it was in the midst of this that I was shown a vision of a desert cat.

The whole scene was meant to illustrate how we shift out of our “dry” left brains into the fluid flowing world of our right brain, the kundalini shakti, the flowing feminine side of our consciousness.  To feel this flow meant removing blocks and still more blocks.  I was shown this leopard and I watched it breath.  I could feel its breath, which was actually a panting breath.  Because I was seeing and feeling the content of this vision, I immediately was able to feel what it was I was supposed to feel.  So I began to breath like this cat was breathing.  I thought about being this cat.  I don’t know why, but cats seem to put me in touch with a sensual aspect of my masculine energy.

It is in truth I think a blending of aspect of both feminine and masculine.  And when you do this in awakening, it brings peace and bliss because two aspects of the self are held so closely within awareness without any division.  So for me, the cat was a good image for my own turn of mind.  Strong, rippling in strength this cat was sleek and sensual.  I felt bliss move all through me as a result.  I was taken, seduced by the bliss of prana.

I panted; the energy moved very strong as my stomach lurched and turned.  I kept at it, and within a day I had moved through the nausea and the block was gone.  There were more blocks to deal with, and many were taken care of with this panting breath which I found moved a lot of energy for the very fact that the image and the breathing helped to support an openess within me that allowed energy to flow.  Since your consciousness IS energy, it isn’t that difficult to understand that the character of your consciousness will help focus and even determine the nature of the energy that flows through you.  The more open and trusting you are of the natural universe, the more direct a connection you will have without any prejudices or biases coloring your perceptions.

But the thing I want to point out is that the important thing in this was the image inside of me, which just “did it” and opened me up.  It was less the breath than this image.  Yes, breath did stimulate my body in certain ways, and breath IS coincident with prana or chi, but it is NOT chi.  Sorry.  It just isn’t.  Breathing CAN stimulate the flow of chi, though.  But as you will see, so can your pure feeling….which is the coolest part….because when you consider that in spirit, in All-Time, you exist without a body.  HOW do you breath?  You breath in your awareness.  If you can get that the breath of your body mirrors the breath of your soul, oh my goodness, the worlds that this can open for you conceptually as a creator of great methods, new methods for people to use that help bring in new aspects of awareness that just weren’t possible a century ago but are now just at our fingertips! Yell it at the top of your heart, your soul, for this is true; amazing things await us….and the boundlessness of creativity will bring it to you if you will but OPEN to it.

I was opened, seduced by the flow of this very sensual of energies, this pranic flow. It was so strong that it almost made me sick.  I got over it, and I would in the following days  use the panting breath as a way to tap this state.  But for it to work, the image must be there.  I have to know what I am reaching for.  I am taking breath into me the way one would say yes to a lover.  Prana is this. YOGA is UNION.  Yoga means just this.  So?

Now, I will say that up to this time, I was not familiar with a breathing method, a well-known one in pranayama and kundalini yoga which is called “breath of fire.”  It is this type of breathing that is supposed to aid in the stimulation of kundalini. When I finally saw a demonstration of breath of fire, I saw that there wasn’t a big difference between what I had been shown to do from my own inner guidance and this method that has been in use for thousands of years.  The question I have for you by way of teaching you about this feeling part that I think is so central, IS central, is how does breathing like this make you feel?  What does it conjure?  If it does not conjure any feeling in you, if it leaves you flat, relatively unmoved, you may not be getting an arousal of prana in the body.  In this case, I would suggest that you let your imagination move you.  Whatever you find is most natural to you will work because prana is bid by how we feel, how we think.  When we are stressed, we are often shutting down these channels of energy and it is this that leaves us, often, feeling tired or worn out.  Feeling a warm thick fluid moving up through you, or the movement of water, or alternating currents of cool and warm air…..if you can put your imagination there, what you conjure by using images like this can lead to moving energy if the stimulating effects of just breathing don’t do it.

So consider trying to pant as a method for moving energy.  In fact, letting your tongue extend slightly out of your mouth might get your feeling this energy. Prana is not just electricity….it is an energy full of feeling.  It is what we feel when we feel bliss.  We release a blockage in our bodies, the energy body, and suddenly things feel clearer, lighter, but there is also a surge of bliss, too.  There is a reason for this, and it has everything to do with what prana IS.  You are matter made conscious, now able to observe itself as the cosmic moves through you.

Prana is your saying yes to life, yes to allowing the bliss of the union of your body with the sustaining life that is the breath of the Tao. So then the breathing movement of the cat breath was what I needed.  But I will let you in on one important secret; once I had the breath work anchored in me, I was able to move energy simply by thinking or visualizing the method without actually doing it.  As a result of this, I was taken deeper into the core of what all breath work is about.  I discovered a form of pranayama that has no use of breath. How do you think you control the flow of energy in your body without breath? You control it through feeling!  BUT.  To do this, you have to have control over your feeling states. It is simple, primal.  Other parts require more practice. All of it is built on an image and this image either does it for you or it does not.  But the core of all of this is caught in feeling.  I know I keep hammering away at this, but this is important.  It is important because the “body” of the universe does not respond to the touch of rational thought, no.  It responds to the touch of the feeling thought.  When you can master feeling, you can bid the universe open to you in ways that it had been closed to you. I can’t begin to suggest how wonderful this can be for us all here.

It emerges from that. It is just that when I say feeling, most people are stuck because that does not give them much to go on.  They start fidgeting and they want the safety of their yoga mat.  I get it.  Its so simple, this.  But the work, the great work of this age, is going to be about people returning to their humanity.  To what it means to be humans, instead of the barbarians we have all collectively been for so long.  Time for healing, cleaning, and this will be the age where humans will get deeper and deeper connected into their feeling states.  And you want to know what this looks like?  Each and every block removed, things just get simpler and simpler. Like how joy is simple.  But it cannot be faked.  You have to reach this authenticity, and it is just as Jesus exhorted his followers: be like children. It is the feeling part of you that is the conduit through which all prana will flow.

It will not flow through your reason. No.  It is not some dry feeling-less thing.  It lives for bliss and joy and creativity.  Match an inner image with this level of boundless joy and wonder and you begin to anchor a whole new feeling within.  The joy I feel is like joy distilled into star light (really).  I cannot begin to even describe it very well….except to say that if you can match an image to a practice, you can use the practice as the anchor.  See? THIS is what so much yoga is about.  And really, folks, there is not a lot of magic in the movements.  Some of them are about helping you to dissolve a block or to open up flow in the body.  But sometimes it is to help just anchor a feeling. Your yoga can be about giving yourself in wild abandon to this thing that is all around and within everything……and after that, anything that anchors that feeling in you will be a practice worth its weight in gold because you know what the practice is intending for you to feel.  So make your own.  Let them flow effortlessly through you and ask yourself….”what does this FEEL like?”  or “If I were a painter of methods, what scene would this feeling wind up being?  How do I instill the same feeling in others?”  That is just what you are seeking to do.  Anything that stimulates the flow works. So maybe the brush of a feather against your neck will give you chills and a sudden warm flow up your leg and into your side and into your head.  Boom.  Pranic flow enabled.  What does this tell you?  it tells you that your body, the flesh, will itself respond to triggers as the energy currents are excited in the body along its surface to trigger a deeper flow of energy.  This then leads to feeling differently in your consciousness.  A perfect example of how working with the body can bring about a change in your consciousness.  Because they are all connected, this makes perfectly good sense.

So not to belabor the point.  Once you get to this place, if you are a creative person, you could come up with dozens of new methods, then spend years honing them in order to bring into them aspects of reflexive elements or trigger points or any number of other supportive moves or methods for what it is that you want to accomplish with your newly minted method.

SurrenderIt isn’t easy to do sometimes.  But surrender is a choice.  It just is.  And in knowing this fact, you can choose not to be caught in the grip of some hard emotion or feeling.  We think we are our emotions, but our emotions are the result of so many programs running in our minds as part of our conditioning which began as children, infants, even.  These can be undone.  You just have to work on them first by examining them, then by changing your mind in the moment away from the knee-jerk reaction that is so often the providence of these whirl-winds within us.  All of this can be changed even if you are an old dog!  I have undergone more change in the last eight years than I can begin to explain or recount.  The process continues and what I do even with my remaining “hard stuff” is to continually push my attention in a new place each and every time I come across a wave of that old stuff.  Each time, it is like erasing the old program.  I just keep doing this and there comes a moment when something give inside and poof; it is gone.

Surrender is good for us.  It is.  Surrendering to the mystery opens us to that mystery. Stop needing to know and to control everything.  Some things are not in your control.  And in controlling, you are letting your little rational mind to come up with solutions that your higher self, which exists in the breach between the earthly mind and the divine one.  You have a mind beyond your body and it is infinite.  This is the realm all yogis and saints have experienced.  It is each and every one of our birthright.  So give the mystery room in you through some good surrender.  It will lower your blood pressure, it will help you be less obsessive, and it will flood your body with the chemistry of a place of peace.  It catches on, too!  People will see a bigger smile and wonder what is going on. Spread some peace this season, and let it begin with you!

So breathe deep, stop and be mindful of where you are in your feelings.  Step back and think about all of this and decide not to let it rule you.  Even in the hardest of situations you can choose to do this, and it has so many great benefits.  We know that simply visualizing these states help to bring them on, and leads us along because beyond our rational minds, we really do know!


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