Master P


Yesterday I took Ellie and Lila to a joint check-up with their pediatrician, Master P. They're on the same vaccination schedule so I've always opted to take them both at the same time so as not to prolong the inevitable torture.

These appointments are extremely enjoyable and I usually leave everyone in the waiting room with the impression that I'm a really good Mom.

I walk in the door wearing Ellie as a leg warmer and walk out wearing her as a screaming scarf.

She doesn't like the doctor.

I mean... REALLY REALLY does not like the doctor.

"Lila's really mellow," Master P said, looking in Lila's ears as Ellie was attempting to crawl into my brain via my eye socket. "That helps to... um... balance things out."

I knew what he meant. He meant that if I had TWO children acting like Ellie then bad things would happen to me mentally.

Interestingly, I found out that since her 18-month appointment Ellie has grown three inches and lost two pounds. This came as a shock to me for two reasons:

1. I knew she looking hot in her little jeans but I had no idea she was losing weight
2. If you go by the old rule and double her two-year-old height, she will grow to be six foot one.

What and what.

I never thought I'd have such a problem getting a child of mine to eat. My sisters and I used to punch each other in the face over the last hunk of meatloaf. I can't even get Ellie to sit at the table longer than it took me to microwave her hot dog.

I've tried every kid food imaginable: mac and cheese, pizza, frosting... she'll usually take one look and bolt. Leaving me to pillage the leftovers. Hey, they can't go to waste. There are starving children somewhere. In my house.

I've never had any problem with my appetite so I totally can't relate to what she's going through. Do I force her to sit at the table while she screams to get down? Do I try to make mealtime fun and let her come and go as she pleases?

The only thing she'll eat is ice cream. What am I supposed to do? Take her to the Dairy Queen every day? Then am I supposed to order a jumbo Blizzard so she doesn't feel like she's in this all alone?

Sometimes being a Mom is hard.


Unknown said...

That is hilarious! I wish I could offer some insight but my only suggestion is to give her 2-3 different food choices and allow her to pick 1 of those.
The 3 choices works on children in many other aspects of growing up too. It leaves them with a sense of Choice, while you control what those Choices are.
My daughter is 7 now, long time huh, and that ideology has helped us many times over.

Hannah said...

Yeah we've tried that. It goes something like this:

Me: Mac and cheese?
Ellie: No.
Me: Peanut butter sandwich?
Ellie: No.
Me: Pizza?
Ellie: Go screw yourself *runs away*

Veronica said...

AMEN SISTA! I still have a problem getting my three-year-old to eat. I've found that if I put the three options of food on the plate she'll end up eating one of them. It's usually the applesauce. Then I found out she'll even eat a fresh apple but only if she's picked it from the tree at Eckert's. So to supplement she gets a daily vitamin and a dose of Pediasure. Oh, you'll love this, most days she only eats pancakes. ;)