Thursday, November 8, 2007

I've Got a Question, You've Got an Answer

This week's question comes courtesy of a Yahoo! Instant Messenger session that I was having with some friends last night. I've discussed this with other friends before and it oftentimes makes me feel deficient in the "warmth and caring" department of life but I must confess - I am not a hugger - never have been and probably never will be. For me spontaneous hugs are virtually unheard of and not something that I initiate very often - if at all. If I do, consider yourself very special for a spontaneous hug is generally way out of my comfort zone.

If you were to trace back my family tree, you would see that I come from a long line of non-huggers with a few exceptions - one being my sainted grandfather on my mother's side. When it came to family, he was THE hugger and I have no happier childhood memories than those which contain a hug from Gramp. Strangely, my daughters seem to have inherited a hugging gene from somewhere as Amanda is extremely huggy as is Jamie. My son, though, continues the tradition of non-hugging!

That's not to say that I don't enjoy a good hug and that I haven't been known to give and receive hugs quite happily but I guess I'm just ultra-picky about who I let into my personal space. Despite my years of living in California where hugs run rampant most of the time, I'm going to chalk my lack of hugging enthusiasm up to my reserved British heritage.

So how about you? This week's questions asks:

Are you a hugger?


  1. Not really, but maybe it's a Northeast thing.
    I'll bet our friends who live in the South (Mimi, Bee) are huggers. ;-)

  2. :) I'm not sure I need to answer this question for you, but I will for others. LOL...

    Yup, I'm a hugger. I don't go up to random people and hug them, but I've been known to hug people at a baseball game who were strangers. ;)

    And, of course, you. LOL!!!

  3. No, no, no. With my husband, my kids, my family? Absolutely. With close friends? Not that I initiate, but I won't withdraw. With others? I won't even do the courteous thing of taking my arms from my sides. Get off me, people! And add social kissing to that as well. Ick. Who the hell started that?

  4. Anonymous9:56 AM EST

    So enjoyed this post Linda! I am a terrible hugger! Meaning I hug, hug, hug if you give me the slightest reason to hug you. I do practice self-control, but if I like you, and meet you, you'll see a hug gleam in my eye!

  5. I am TOTALLY a hugger. My entire family hugs upon sight of each other and hugs again when leaving. I hug all my friends too. I love hugs!

  6. Oh most definitely!

    Come here you ((HUG))

  7. I am neither a big hugger nor a hug avoider. Hmmm. I do hug those I love...and those who are hurting. But unless its someone I know....I would rather be the one to initiate.

    My middle kid has been anti-hugging since a toddler...probably since a baby but she didn't have a choice. She was eight when I came into her life...and for a really long time she would only hug me and my daughter. Because she didn't have a choice....laughing. Rumor has it she hugs her boyfriend...but not in public....laughing laughing laughing...

  8. No, I'm not a hugger, but I've heard it said how essential it is.

  9. Anonymous1:59 PM EST

    I am a hugger, but I always ask permission. I used to not be one, so I know how it is. My family doesn't hug either...(hubby's does - kids, too!)

    My family does not talk feelings. We excel at small talk, though. I've gotten over that as well.

    They think I'm nuts. But then they wonder alot about me anyway. I'm the "weird" one! LOL!

  10. H U G
    H U G
    H U G

    Hugs make the world go 'round!!!

  11. You already know my answer too, but yes, I'M A HUGGER. It's okay if you are not a hugger Linda. We all still love you anyway. Have a great day. :)

  12. While pretty affectionate, I'm definitely not a hugger. Maybe it comes from being an only child and then moving around a lot, but hugging except with those closest to me feels a bit phony.

    If someone comes at me with a hug, I don't swat them away, but have to admit to getting out of it as soon as comfortably possible.

  13. A hug by any other name would smell as sweet.

    Oops. The answer is that it depends on whether my date is dressed or not...

  14. I don't mind giving hugs to and receiving hugs from family and close friends. But I'm not an indiscriminate hugger.

    I do enjoy snuggles.

  15. I hug people I'm comfortable with. You fall into that category without a doubt! I had no idea that you were a "non-hugger" - you never seemed that way in the bay. I will have to take that into account from now on.

  16. to hug or not to interesting question.

    my answer actually changes based on what year you're asking about. I used to hug a lot...then got very anti-hug...nowadays I respond but only initiate on rare if a friend is crying..and then usually it's a one arm around the back squeeze..not a huge hug thing. I've found that I really prefer to show adult-friend-non-lover type affection with a gentle pat or caress on the back or shoulder or a squeeze of the hand...

    Oh, and if I'm holding a kiddo I'm really in I don't know what germs you have so get away from my baby! why oh why must people ALWAYS touch a baby's hands?? that will then go directly into their mouth??? sorry, that's a different post.

    for the record, I give hubby and kids about 3 zillion bear hugs a day. :-)

  17. Anonymous10:15 AM EST

    I'm a hugger. I wasn't but now I am. I guess it's the things in life you go through that can change your attitude.

    I grew up in an Italian and Jewish family. So our families always hugged, kissed and even pinched our cheeks (oh how as kids we hated that!). So it was a common thing for me to get and give hugs. As I grew older I just got out of the habit.

    After being so sick and facing a lot of difficult times I've come to realize that I want to show my love and appreciation to my family and friends. So hugs are one of my things now.

  18. I'm a hugger. I love giving and receiving hugs from loved ones.


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