Thursday, April 09, 2009


The Tom Cat is after my coffee and oatmeal -- cat, did your Mom not tell you you're a carnivore? -- I have like five minutes to get in the shower and there is much to do.

I probably don't have time to tell you about the co-worker, half-listening to a news segment about Mexico (or was it Easter?), thinking he heard the phrase "armed resurrection." At first I was thinkin', "Kewl!" but then I realized this means the zombies have guns. That's so not kewl.
There's only one defense: lock them in a newsroom, where they'll starve to death for lack of braaaaiiinnns.
Why do zombies never try to eat each other's brains? Don't tell me it's implausible -- I've seen what cockroaches do in a Roach Motel! I can picture the scene now: after a week, they unlock the door of the tile-glue warehouse and one really fat, bloated zombie slowly looks up from the sprawled, brain-et remains of his ex-peers and mutters querulously, "b-b-braiiiins?"

...No time, either, to mention the commercial for some health-insurance policy, in which the voice-over sincerely tells us, "It pays out from Day One!" Or it gets the hose again? Ew.

I have gotta stop watchin' the late-late horror movies.


Bob said...

Brains are best eaten fresh, as anyone who has read Thomas Harris' Hannibal will tell you.

Mark Alger said...

Kittehs are omnivorous. They eat meat and plastic.

...and kleenex and dustbunnies, and...


Jeffro said...

"It rubs the lotion on it's skin."

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

You will laugh, but we had our seder last night and Sally's cat (the 15-year-old Turkish Van) was importuning my mother, so she gave him some matzo.

He ate it like he was starving.

Go figure...

Joanna said...

Do a search on YouTube for "cat [or kitten] eating brocolli." They like their vegetables, they do. Interestingly, my cat doesn't seem to like raw meat -- if I put some down for her while cooking (or set down the cutting board when I'm done with it) she'll sniff and then ignore it. This may be why she was so scrawny when I found her.

Borepatch said...

T-Bolt is totally ready for the Zombiepocalypse:

Home on the Range said...

I taught one of the family munchkins a new word last week. Much better than the much used "cookie".


Do you want some oatmeal?


How about some peaches, yummm peaches?