December 3rd, 2006

you are perfect love actually, to me

(no subject)

Dear Nick,
I just wanted you to know that Friday night was completely magical. I wanted to thank you for that. You should know that I was terribly worried that things wouldnt be okay, that I'd have nothing to say, that things would be awkward and you'd never get to know the real me.

But the way you acted, the way you listened and cared, made me see that you're the only one who's ever really wanted to know the real me.

And when I was coming up the escalator to meet you, and rummaging through my purse, so that I wouldnt look like an idiot looking around for you, and I saw you standing there, atop the staircase smiling, I really dont know what sort of doofy face I was making, but my heart was smiling.

And when you stepped down onto the moving up escalator and put out your hand to make sure I got off okay, I think that God was sending me you to make sure I made it okay.

You make me more than okay.

Thank you. Thank you so very much.

(no subject)

What the hell is wrong with you? Can't you see what your doing? What was going through your head? Just stop and ask yourself ok. You know this isn't helping. You are a fucking whore. 3 boys in one night? And people notice ok? Do you want to be known as that girl? I don't think so. So get a grip.
Love from me.

& you.
you. what can I say? really. I know you have no idea what your doing. you're just living your life and that should be fine. So why is it killing me? Everytime I see you with a girl I just feel so hurt. I wonder what about her is so much better. It's been like this for as long as I've known you. Wether you know that or not. I just can't seem to get over you. No matter who else I end up with, my thoughts drift back to you. Fucks sake. I've told you this stuff before. Maybe you don't remember. But I really mean what I say.
It hurt last night. And the night before. I cried a lot.
I really need to get over you. I know in my heart that we wouldn't work out together anyway. I don't know what it is that draws me to you. I need to find someone new.
love from me.

Thank you for caring, for taking an interest. Really. It means a lot. I talk a load of shite, and I tend not to explain anything. That must be frustrating. I just hate burdening people with my problems. I'm such a fucking screw-up.
Love from me.

also, hair.
please stay the right colour for once. all this fading crap is annoying me. I don't have time to keep dying you.
love from me.
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