Tuesday, May 22, 2007

True Wife Confessions 185 CLXXXV

Confession #1841

When I'm working late, sometimes I'm not working. Sometimes I'm just listening to the quiet and surfing the Internet because I can't ever do that when I'm home.

Confession #1842

To My Husband -

When I am quiet and sad, I am worrying about my mom, the future of bringing children into the world as it is today and more than anything the past year that you were away. I still can't come to terms with any of it. I hurt so much because I hurt people when I never had before and I have a lot of trouble waking up and living with that and dealing with what I lost.

But when it comes to you, I love you with every fiber of my being. You make my every day bright and sunny, even if the roads outside are flooded and frozen over. You make me laugh, you make me smile, you give me warm butterflies in my tummy even after all these years. I love that you cook me wonderful meals and make ingrediants such as raspberry coulis. I love that you wake up before me on snowy days and clean off my car and write love messages in the snow so it is the first thing I see when I look out the window in the morning. I love that you make me candle lit baths and scrub my back with the sponge on a stick. I love that you give every day a theme and make every day an adventure. Who else in the world would ever count turtles at the pond with me or name birds in our back yard? I love that you travel the world with me and indulge my interests and fantasies. I love that you tell me bedtime stories and paint my toe nails and carry my shopping bags and think nothing of it as if it is something every husband does and should do. I love that you take care of my family and friends and always compliment people on their successes and comfort them in their losses. I love that you are doing important research to fight cancer and save my mothers life and that in a few years you won't just be a doctor.....but a Doctor Doctor. You are my world and you paint my life with joy and color and restore my faith that there are still good, selfless people left in this world. I love you so much my husband and would never want you to think that any sadness in my eyes has anything to do with you and please never stop leaving love notes on my mirrors or in my shoes! You are the best thing any girl could ever wish for!

Confession #1843

Yes, I know you'd never leave me and you say you love me but you never SHOW me that you do.You have pushed me away so hard that I feel totally unappreciated and unloved. I had your children when you were different. You were kind and happy and so so different.. and you still won't marry me even though you said you wanted to. I don't understand you. You hate me seeing my friends, you hate me having time to myself. You only care about work and your friends. You never put me first. You never kiss me unless you want something and you don'r care if we don't have sex for months at a time! Guess what? I DO! You never say I look nice, you never make me feel special. You forget my birthday, our anniversary, hell..even last chirstmas and you wonder why I tell you I think I deserve more. I devoted my life to you and it looks like I drew the short straw. I'm not happy. I want change but you won't leave and you wouldn't let me either. I fell for my best friend..and he's gone.

Confession #1844

I am sorry, hubby.
We've been married for 7.5 years, blessed with 2 lovely young boys.
I am thankful for that. You've been a great dad to them.
But me...I have been a bad wife to you.

During the course of our marriage, I have cheated on you. Twice.
And now, I am afraid history might repeat itself.

I am liking this guy at work. We work together. I have been having endless dreams & thoughts about him. And whenever he talks to me, he makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel good. It's a nice feeling.
But it's just too much. I can't handle it.

Confession #1845

I get really fed up with your constant nagging and telling me I'm
doing things wrong. I am nearly 30 years old, I am intelligent, and
I am perfectly capable of grouting tile, doing dishes, or shoveling
manure without your constant direction. So, when I get really fed up
with you, I use your toothbrush to clean the dirt, manure, leftover
food, or grout out from my engagement ring.

And since you are incapable of going to the store and buying your own
toothbrush and rely on me to replace it, you've been using the same
nasty toothbrush since we shacked up two years ago.

Confession #1846

Dear Mailman,

Have you ever noticed that when you drive down the street, the moms in my neighborhood who are out with their small children usually scurry back inside their homes? Well, I’ll let you in on a secret… You are creepy. You think you are being charming. You probably even think you are being “charitable” -- giving these tired housewives a little attention. But dude, the attention – the heaping, over the top compliments just make you look like you are 1.) full of shit and 2.) sniffing around for a little action. You have a wife and son of your own. Go feed that tripe to YOUR wife.

Telling me I look like a supermodel is just laughable and stupid. Saying things like, “If I woke up next to you every morning, the first thing I’d say to you each day would be “hello beautiful” is creepy and makes a woman uncomfortable. And guess what? That tacky line makes the OTHER women on the block uncomfortable too!

Yes, I get lonely in my marriage. But it sure doesn’t mean I’m gonna be inviting your tired old butt inside. I took a vow. And besides, you’re icky.

That is all.


So NOT a Desperate Housewife

Confession #1847

When I am with him life has a magical feeling to it. He's always in my thoughts, soothing the stresses of everyday life. He says he worships me and I know how much he means it because when we're together I can feel it. The first time we met he looked at me in a way no man ever had before him. He smiles at me and I feel it inside of me. He kisses me and I feel it in my toes. Lying together in bed, he wraps not just his arms but his entire body around me. When we talk the connection between us is there, just like the very first time we spoke. I need him in my life like I need oxygen to breathe. When we're apart my mind and my body aches for him. I would do anything for him and he does everything for me.

What an incredible feeling to know I have found the man of my dreams. He's just not the man I married.

Confession #1848

There was a moment in the car yesterday that I hated you more than I thought I could ever hate another human being. Actually, it was several moments.

Confession #1849

You came to see me over the weekend and we had amazing sex. A LOT of amazing sex. I am a little (a lot) sore today.

It made me miss you more than I already do and wish that you would just make up your mind and figure out if we are going to move together or not. I am tired of this in between and I need to know where and when I am going to get to start my life.

Why can't you just grow up and deal with commitment?

I might have considered leaving you months ago....but I am so in love with you it's ridiculous and I have never had better sex in my life.

Sigh. Please make up your mind.

Confession #1850

I know you’re lying to me…I want to confront you but I can’t- I only know
because I checked your email. You left it up, and I hit enter one too many
times. I should have exited right away, but it was like a train wreck….

I thought you were my happy ending, my shining star, my future husband.

Now I find you lying over trivial matters (well, that’s at least what I see.
Does this mean you’re lying about other stuff too? That’s exactly where my
mind is going.)



Anonymous said...

Call the post office and let them know he has been spending to much time talking to the homeowners. Its a round-about-way of getting him to move along....Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

1843- he won't let you? Not possible, you won't let you.

1845- LOL, I wish I'd done that with my loser ex.

1846- thank God for rural routes. No interaction with the mailman. LOL. Yeah, you should call the post office.

1847- bummer

1848- I had that moment with the ex-fiance. It was the moment I knew I could not spend the rest of my life with him.

Anonymous said...

#1845 - Hysterical. I had to share it with the girls at the office.

Anonymous said...

#1850 - "I want to confront you but I can’t"

Why not? If you know this guy well enough to consider him a "future husband", you need to speak up! NOW!

How can you consider marrying someone you can't talk to?

Boliath said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

1850 --

My ex husband lied to me about everything. And I do mean everything. I didn't realize it until it was too late, and we were married and had a kid.

It seemed to me that it started out with trivial things... "yes I washed the dishes" -- when he hadn't -- "yes, I paid the telephone bill" -- when really he'd spent the money on some new toy, or booze, anything other than the telephone bill.

It was only after we were married, and he was ruining my credit, and my life, with his lies that I found out he'd been lying to me the whole time -- about who he was as a person, what he wanted in a relationship, about what he'd been doing with time away from me while we were dating.

Confront your "future husband" about the lying before it's too late.

If you can't trust someone, you definitely shouldn't marry them.

Anonymous said...

1845- Do you kiss that mouth after his teeth have been brushed? yuck.

Anonymous said...


Hate to be a bother, but I was wondering if you might consider changing the preferences to where comments come up in a separate pop up window rather than changing to the new screen.

works like this, plus some others. I believe it's just a preference.

If there's some reason you can't, no big deal, but I like to read the comments and be able to reference to the corresponding # sometimes.


Anonymous said...

let's hear it for the whore #1844

Anonymous said...

1849 - been there, done that - if it's meant to be, it will be, and it will be wonderful. :)

Anonymous said...


i could have written this word for word. this past weekend i had the best weekend ever with the love of my life too bad i'm not sure i'm the love of his....

Anonymous said...

RE #1847

Anonymous said...

1847, your post warmed my heart until the last line. but how wonderful there is someone in your life that makes you feel that way!

Anonymous said...

1850- 7:47 PM is right. I have little rule of thought. "If you catch him lying about one thing, there are ten things you haven't found out about." Certainly, not all men are liars, but the ones who are liars will lie about everything, over and over and over.
the second part of the thought, just in case you confront him and he "confesses", is this: When he admits to lying about one thing, he is only telling you ten percent, and there are ten more things you don't know about yet.
Think about it... it's your life. Learn from our mistakes.

Anonymous said...

8:29 - If you want to see it in a different window, just right click on "Comments" and click "Open in New Window".

Anonymous said...

#1849 - Please, please, PLEASE don't choose to be with a guy just for the good sex. I know you didn't mention much about how the rest of your relationship is, but you did say "I might have considered leaving you months ago", so I have to assume it's not amazing.

I've had both types of relationships, 1) amazing personality with lackluster sex and 2) amazing sex with lackluster personality. Trust me that neither of them are good in the long run. Please don't settle, you deserve the best.

Anonymous said...

#1844 I never understood why people who know they like to cheat don't just leave. A lot of people have been there. Believe me, it's a choice. You either love and respect your husband/wife or you don't. No judgments but you know it's your choice to cheat or not. It's everyone's choice.

Marriage is endless giving the world's selfishness is destroying our marriages. You chose to be around this man, you chose to long for him and eventually you will probably choose to cheat.

I'm not judging you only asking you to ask yourself some real questions, if the shoe was reverse how would it feel after 7.5 years. What if he finds out? What if you get pregnant? What if he leaves? What about disease (remember the man that cheat on his wife and they both contracted HIV). You say you're a bad wife but the real question is do you really care about any of this? Does anyone really care today? I have my doubts.

Seriously ask yourself are you simply just waiting for the chance to betray your husband versus standing strong. You've done this twice and know they say, three strikes and you're out. It's been said all things done in the dark will come to the light. Believe me, it makes a difference.

Anonymous said...

#1845 do you actually love your husband? If he's sick a lot then you now know why. You should probably consider therapy or divorce instead of doing something that could truly injure your spouse.

Cleaning things with toothbrushes can cause mouth ulcers and other sicknesses. Not something to be done because the person you love makes you angry. Does he clean things with your toothbrush?

Unknown said...

#1843 please get into counseling. When you cry "I want a change" he needs to know how much it means to you and you to have to be proactive. I'm glad to see you're willing to work on it.

Unknown said...

#1850 you should confront him A man who lies over trivial matters will lie about important matters. He's looking out for him not you.

Anonymous said...

I read 1845's post and other like it and I always wonder, who doesn't wash their toothbrush off before they brush their teeth? That's nasty.

Anonymous said...

What I'm about to say is going to sound a little nuts, so I'll preface by saying no, I haven't been drinking.


Now, before you back away to grab the phone or set off the security system or surreptitiously slide the butcher knife from its block, let me explain. I found this site through sort of a joke, and yet I have become completely addicted to it. It's not to satisfy some need for gossip, and it's not to skim through for the humorous confessions, though I have read a few that nearly made me soil my jeans. It's because all of your confessions, your rants, your minor and major complaints are being filed away in my head under a "do/don't do" heading, and I believe all of you are helping me to become a better boyfriend/fiancé/husband, and thus (in my opinion) a better person.

I visit this blog on a daily basis and have read all the way back to confession #1110 (and I plan on continuing as far back as it goes in days to come, to #1 if possible). Don't worry, I do it in my spare time; I work from home and my girlfriend works a 9 to 6 shift, so I have a great deal of time when she and I can't be together. It's sometimes difficult to read -- the confessions concerning cheating (on either side) actually hurt me, and those that seem to glorify it make me physically sick. Not to judge, here, or call names, and luckily I've never been on the giving or receiving end of such a situation, but it bothers me that some can see it as a solution, or as nothing, or as something they've been forced into.

Anyway, this has turned into a far more long-winded diatribe than I intended, so I'll leave all of you with what I hope is an encouraging thought: don't EVER believe someone who visits this site and thinks you are bad or wrong for wanting to post online a feeling that you are afraid or unable to speak aloud. Someone said much earlier that it does you no good; I am here to say that this is simply not true. I and any man of value who visits this page takes from it a sense of what women want in relationships, what they can and cannot live with, and especially the actions, large and small, taken by their spouses or SOs that they truly need and appreciate. Thank all of you for making me better and more thoughtful and more sensitive.

Sorry about all of the run-on sentences. It's a problem I've had since grade school.


P.S. I CANNOT understand men who have problems with hygene. Jesus, people, can't you smell YOURSELVES?

Anonymous said...

I am not a mean person, but I have absolutely no friends. Not a single one. I am a 30 something mother and a wife. I have a happy family and marriage. But don't really connect at get togethers (play groups and adult parties) beyond light conversation. I had a group of friends in high school and college, but they were very fickle and turned on each other a lot- they had been friends since grammar school. I drifted away from them after college.

As an adult, I have become friendly with a lot of people. I Even had a friend I spoke to regularly on the phone about our days at work, personal lives and men. She and I had a minor falling out and life went on with us not speaking and now we don't even know each other. No hard feelings are left on either side, just no desire to be close again.

My mother and I have no relationship and that was my choice- I would rather be without friends than invite my mother into my life again.

The friends I have aren't really friends, they are aquaintances. We don't call each other and I have no idea when their birthdays are.

I wonder if it's me, am i the problem? Does nobody want to know me? Do I have bad breath? Will I always be without friends?

Anonymous said...

1:54 -- yes, if you continue doing what you're doing, you will always be without friends. It sounds as though you prefer it that way; there is a certain safety in not sharing ourselves with others, always keeping a distance, protecting ourselves. But you'll never have friends that way.

If you want friends, you'll have to open up. And you'll actually have to show an interest in them. If they start drifting away and you want to stay friends, then you'll have to be the one to reach out and invite them to get together with you. If you don't, then bye-bye friend. The choice is entirely yours.

Anonymous said...

#1841 - Glad to see that I'm not the only one who does that :)

#1842 - You are a very lucky person. You have something that I dream of having and will never have.

Anonymous said...

1859: Let's pack our bags and move in together!

Anonymous said...

I wish someone would make me sore like that again and then just go away.

Anonymous said...

No more virgins...ever?

Anonymous said...

I don't have any friends either -- and I'm pretty sure I don't smell. I think it's more common than we know. And telling someone that it's their fault isn't very helpful.