Why you should watch reality television with your kids.

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I have a long-standing date night with Horatio every Wednesday and Thursday night, where we watch a dude pash multiple women from 7.30 till 8.30.

Yes, we are talking about The Batchelor.

I see this program as an essential tool in helping him learn about complete bullshit, that normal women do not get around dressed like they are an extra from The Bold and the Beautiful, and that relationships are not all about “connections” “journeys” deep stares and lingering moments. During the program, I like to press pause, and explain to him how the show is staged to make sure that it is dramatic, sucks the viewers in and pigeonholes certain characters.

Yes, I am teaching him all the essential things in life.

We talk, in the ad breaks, about product placement. He now yells “Nissan” whenever he sees the white cars. I explain to him that the car company would have spent a fair whack of green to make sure that their car was filmed for a certain amount of time each episode. We go in hard about native advertisement. Shit that didn’t even exist when I was ten.

He covers his eyes when the bloke goes in for a big sloppy pash, while I explain to him that that would be the least romantic scenario ever, with dozens of production crew looking on, yelling “CUT! Dude, can you do that again, but make sure that you place your hands on the small of her back, not her shoulders this time?”

The truth is that Reality Television has lost its way. There is nothing real about it in any form. It is complete crap. But because I am committed to teaching my men of the future about reality and fantasy, I will to watch it.

And that is how I continue to justify why I watch The Batchelor.

Go Heather. I hope you win, but I hope you get to change your prize.

What is the crappiest show on television that you wish to publicly admit you watch?

Am I teaching my children well, or what?