Saturday, December 1, 2018

My Childhood Dream of Becoming Fed Chair Has Been Dashed

To my dismay, I learned recently that I'm unqualified to be the next chief of the Fed. No, it's not my lack of any background in economic policy. Rather, at 5-foot-3, I'm simply too short. Janet Yellen, who is the same height as me, apparently suffered the same fate when President Donald Trump deemed her too short to head up the Fed. While we don't know exactly how tall you do have to be, we do know that Jerome Powell's approximate six-foot stature was enough. So, boys and girls, eat your Wheaties, and your dream of one day having the ability to send stocks soaring or diving with only a few inscrutable words may come true.
