Friday, April 20, 2018

Hanging on to Outdated Imperialist Dogma...

Today I'd like to spend a few moments comparing the various systems of government inherent in modern society against those systems prevalent in the past, and, and...

[Stomps downstairs, feeling a bit frazzled]

"Honey, have you seen my Muse?"

"Your what?"

"My Muse."

"I think it's out in the shed."

"What, no, no, no, it's not a tool. It's my inspiration for ideas and concepts which I write about on my blog..."

"Oh, for pity's sake! Not the blog again! I thought that I, your loving wife, was your inspiration in all things."

"Well, yes, yes, but..."

[Wanders into the kitchen and looks out towards the backyard]

"Honey, did you leave the gate open?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Well, sometimes I let my Muse out to walk in the garden, to savor the fresh air and gaze upon the beauty of Nature..."

"Have you been drinking?"

"No, no. I've just gotten home from work and I need an idea to write about. Seems my Muse got out the open gate and..."

"You're a loon. A complete loon. I should have married that nice Kim fellow in the next village, not let myself get hauled halfway around the planet by a loon. A complete loon."

"But, but. Oh, never mind. I'll post a video or something."

[Stomps back upstairs muttering about his "craft"]

"Ah, Monty Python! Why not?"

"Hey, psst!"

"Yes, hi, I'm Chris's Muse, you know him as Sarge, or Old AF Sarge, or OAFS (which is closer to reality, truth be told). I haven't 'wandered off' or gone down to the pub to get fried with the other Muses. No. The old fool just hasn't a clue as to what to write about tonight."

[Hearing loud noises from the computer room]

"I knew it. Video games, instead of giving you a real post, he's playing video games."

"My apologies, I'll make sure you get something better tomorrow."

[Wanders off muttering about being blamed for a lame blog post]

"Yup, he's an idiot."


  1. "Just because some watery tart threw a sword at you....." still brings laughs now as it did when I first watched it. Confident I am that your Muse will find his way back to your keyboard.

  2. I think your muse just knows your grey matter needs a break and a computer game is a great way to relax. And thanks for the Monty bit. I love everything Monty Python and The Holy Grail was their crowning achievement. (Kendy doesn't understand British humor and thinks I'm a nut for being such a big fan!)

  3. Been there myself many times...well played, well played indeed!

  4. Once again, you've proven you can say "I ain't got nuttin'." better than anyone else I've seen. Well done.

    1. I should go into politics, I am getting pretty good at saying nothing.


      (How's the hand? If you can't "go" on Monday, let me know. You probably need a day off anyway.)

    2. I have a hand again, not a penguin fin. So that's a good thing. I still waddle like a penguin though. Just sayin'

      Good Lord willin and the crik don't rise...I'll be ok for Monday.

    3. Saints be praised!

      (Hopefully it's not painful. I know how burns can be. DAMHIK.)

  5. Once again late for the quip races. I like juvat's 0735 hrs comment best. Even without the Monty Python, it's well worth stopping by.

    Thanks for the post.
    Paul L. Quandt

  6. Looks like you need to pull a Tom Sawyer on your muse and trick it into painting the fence and gate.

    As to blog ideas, well, what's your take on "Why Rhode Island" or something equally profound? Maybe how to lay out a toolbox like a Chief? Sorting cat hairs by maker, size, texture, agouti pattern?

  7. Be careful in what you want.
    Image search on two words: Oglaf, muse.

    The cartoon I'm thinking of is mostly SFW (but I'm not responsible for whatever else you might turn up).
    And for bonus points, search next on: Oglaf, dead muse

    1. Okay, sprayed the monitor on that one.

      I don't want any dead ostriches on my conscience, so, back to writing!

    2. Erm, if you go to that cartoon, and you're at work, Don't, DON'T, I repeat, DO NOT GO ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE SITE. Save it for at home or on a certain SecState's server or someplace safe.

      Oglaf is a great cartoon series, but he explicitly started it to do NSFW cartoons of the extremely rough sexual kind.

      And I am not kidding.

    3. I am very careful at work, I like my job and want to keep it.

      But thanks for the concern. 😁

  8. A suggestion, whether you want to do anything with it or not: tomorrow is the 100th anniversary of the death of Manfred von Richthofen, who went back to combat with an unhealed head wound, whose men said "we came to realize that we could depend on him like a rock", and who said about himself "when all is said and done, I am a good fighter pilot, but Boelcke (his mentor) was a hero". His victory total was unmatched in the war, but the issues and emotions he dealt with were echoed by many fliers on both sides.

  9. Sometimes the free ice cream machine just---won't. If all else fails, as per Mark Gungor, retreat to your nothin' box. And lock the door. The likely be much nashing of teeth, pulling of hair, and beating of breasts, but have no fear. The doc says we'll live. (As a friend of mine used to say "Oh, wow. So that's what morning looks like".)

  10. The muse here has been on strike, or taken a hands off approach. In any event, it’s been awhile since our paths crossed.

    1. Well, you have been very busy as of late. Perhaps your Muse can't keep up?

  11. Just your muse saying, "It is Friday. I need a three day weekend".

  12. Spent the day moving Mom (96 years young) to a better assisted living facility. My snark-muse had the day off.

