Monday, August 25, 2014

Nor is life.

This past weekend






"Isaiah. Let's go."



It really was.



And that was that.







I silently cringed and hoped this wouldn't take a wrong turn.

And so the Grandfather-man spoke:



Then Harry said this:





Especially these days.

And let me be clear:







Messed up, yes. But realer than real.









"Nor is life," Harry replied.

Nor is life.

Happy Sunday-now-Monday.



  1. A most uncomfortable truth-tale.
    Well told and thank you.

    1. You are a good friend to me, Sister Moon. Thank you for reading and for your wisdom always.

  2. The truth is that by the time we become grandparents we have realized the mistakes we made and would like to help others avoid them. It's just awful that after all this time, you and I still live in very different worlds.

    1. Yes, Lisa. That man truly meant well--I know he did. I'm glad that the exchange between Harry and him wasn't contentious. It was simply real.

    2. If we could all see each other as real maybe the stupidity could be over.

  3. I've read this twice and I still don't know what to say. I have shed many tears over the past 2 to 3 weeks over what I have been watching on the news, and honestly at times I am ashamed to be a white person. I don't have the same worries that you do, but for whatever it is worth, I stand with you in solidarity. I hope and pray for change, that we may all recognize that we are all one.

    1. For what it is worth, we all have moments where we feel ashamed of the things we see happening at the hands of our people. So many people stand in solidarity and I think that, by having permission to speak freely, more will. A lot has to change and I agree that it's hard to know where to start.

  4. The truth in this post makes me emotional. When I think of the danger that exists for some of my most precious students just because they are young black teenage men, my heart hurts. I'm praying for the day where please and thank you is said to everyone, regardless of their skin color, and that people can live their lives without fear. So much truth here!

  5. Thank you for sharing this. It quietly breaks my heart that this is how it is, and that we have to have these talks with our boys, but I can tell you beyond a shadow of doubt that those boys of yours know exactly where their dad is coming from, and they know his tender times, and they know his love for them, and they know that anything he asks of them will be with their best interests at heart. Sadly, if that kid in Ferguson, Michael Brown, had just got on the sidewalk when the cop flexed, he might be alive now. But that does NOT make what happened to him anywhere near okay. One more thing: Your Harry's parenting stye reminds me so much of my own husband's. And I know that Harry also plays with your sons as much as my husband and son play even now. But my husband never couched discipline as a request. And my kids, now grown, could not adore their father more. Life Harry, one of his stock sayings when the kids complain is "Life isn't fair." He says it like it just a fact. No need to beat ones chest about it. Just take stock of what's real and move on. They are good men raising good men. I am glad our boys (and my girl) have them.

  6. I too have read this several times and wanted to comment and simultaneously didn't know what to say.
    Your husband's every word and gesture were so powerfully lucid. Unforgettable.

  7. So much truth spoken here and it is heartbreaking. I have been fortunate to not experience racism (sexism and prejudice because of socioeconomic status yes but racism no). I have been blessed with friends who lovingly taught me what their paradigm is like living in a world where being black or asian comes with so much complexity and pain in our world. I hope that I can find a way to raise my son with an acute awareness of the unfair privilege he will have. It will start by showing him stories like this and teaching him to consider and fight for those that don't have the same voice. Thank you for sharing and making awareness possible.

  8. So true, and I appreciate the beauty and sadness of the conversation between two men.



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