Wednesday, October 10, 2007

101 Ways To Say No

I'd really love to, but...

  1. I have to floss my cat.
  2. I've dedicated my life to linguini.
  3. I want to spend more time with my blender.
  4. the President said he might drop in.
  5. the man on television told me to stay tuned.
  6. I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
  8. it's my parakeet's bowling night.
  9. it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
  10. I'm building a pig from a kit.
  12. I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
  13. there's a disturbance in the Force.
  16. I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
  18. I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl.
  19. I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
  20. my crayons all melted together.
  22. I'm in training to be a household pest.
  23. I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
  24. my patent is pending.
  25. I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
  26. I'm sandblasting my oven.
  27. I'm worried about my vertical hold.
  29. I'm being deported.
  30. the grunion are running.
  31. I'll be looking for a parking space.
  32. my Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
  33. the monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
  34. I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
  35. I have to fluff my shower cap.
  36. I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
  38. I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
  39. my plot to take over the world is thickening.
  40. I have to fulfill my potential.
  41. I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
  42. it's too close to the turn of the century.
  44. my subconscious says no.
  45. I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
  46. I left my body in my other clothes.
  47. the last time I went, I never came back.
  48. I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
  50. none of my socks match.
  52. I'm having all my plants neutered.
  53. people are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
  56. I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
  57. my yucca plant is feeling yucky.
  58. I'm touring China with a wok band.
  59. my chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
  61. my mother would never let me hear the end of it.
  64. I'm too old/young for that stuff.
  66. I have too much guilt.
  67. there are important world issues that need worrying about.
  69. I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.
  70. I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
  71. I feel a song coming on.
  72. I'm trying to be less popular.
  73. my bathroom tiles need grouting.
  74. I have to bleach my hare.
  75. I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
  76. I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
  77. you know how we psychos are.
  78. my favorite commercial is on TV.
  79. I have to study for a blood test.
  80. I'm going to be old someday.
  81. I've been traded to Cincinnati.
  82. I'm observing National Apathy Week.
  83. I have to rotate my crops.
  84. my uncle escaped again.
  85. I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
  87. I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
  88. I have to go to court for kitty littering.
  89. I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
  90. I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
  91. having fun gives me prickly heat.
  93. I have to jog my memory.
  94. my palm reader advised against it.
  95. my Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
  97. I prefer to remain an enigma.
  99. I have to sit up with a sick ant.
  100. I'm trying to cut down.
  101. ... well, maybe.


  1. Wahahahah! This post is hilarious! I'll try the "I'm teaching my ferret to yodel" bit sometime :D

  2. This is an amzing post! I love everything and lol-ed at every response! Keep at it!


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