<![CDATA[The Fibro-Strong Collective - Blog]]>Fri, 03 Jan 2020 15:50:34 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[Nothing Says "Happy Holidays" or "I Care About You" Quite Like a Handmade Gift, A Personal Opinion]]>Thu, 26 Dec 2019 21:52:01 GMThttps://www.thefibrostrongcollective.com/blog/nothing-says-happy-holidays-or-i-care-about-you-quite-like-a-handmade-gift-a-personal-opinionI'm that person that gives handmade gifts for Christmas (and birthdays, and pretty much every occasion that requires a gift). For one thing, crafting is something I can do to occupy my time and to keep myself entertained on days when I'm not feeling my best, and as a highly creative person who's always been drawn to the Arts, having a creative outlet that isn't as draining as some of my other creative pursuits (like dancing and acting) means I get to keep creativity front and center in my life (where I think it belongs) which keep my spirits up, and I get the added bonus of being able to create something from nothing, even on my worst days. Also, as someone who has suffered from a chronic illness since High School then got caught in the recession while trying to finish college, I've never really ever had much extra money for gifts - even all these years later I've been pretty much only lived paycheck to paycheck, so when an extra expense comes up, for me, making something is a nice, and sometimes necessary, alternative to buying something.

Not to mention the fact that I really think that giving something to someone that was homemade has something that something that was store-bought doesn't have. It shows that a lot of thought, time and effort went into the gift, as opposed to getting/giving something you maybe picked up as you were waiting in the check-out line as an afterthought.

Plus, in the post-Marie Kondo world, and in the eco-conscious present, I don't really want to give someone something that is just going to end up in a landfill (or encourage companies to continue to make useless crap that will just inevitably end up in landfills anyway by purchasing these useless items), so homemade gifts are a home-run for me no matter you slice it.
For the Christmas/Holiday Season I tend to make Holiday decor items as gifts -usually from up-cycled items if I can; creating Holiday themed things this time of year really gets me into the Holiday spirit and then I get to share that spirit with the people I care about so it's a win-win! I've given Holiday themed canvases, centerpieces, wreaths, door hangers, ornaments, candles, table runners, holiday themed or requested baked goods or a good hot meal (never underestimate the power of a lasagna or other freezable/shareable meal options!) - you name it, I've made it (or at least tried to), so if you don't know what to make, know there is no limit to what you can create! If you're short on ideas, I like to scroll through Pinterest, or perhaps you can dig into your hobbies for inspiration (do you like to garden- give seedlings or fresh produce! Like to cook - give food! Are you a talented musician- perform a song!) - the possibilities are endless and your loved ones will enjoy learning about your hobbies in addition to being proud of you and grateful for your gift!

Now that I've been doing this homemade gift thing for a number of years, the people in my life have not only come to expect homemade items as gifts from me, but they genuinely seem to enjoy the things that they get. I can't tell you the joy it brings me to go into someone's home and to see something that I've loving made for them proudly displayed, sometimes even years later, or to watch someone enjoy a meal or dessert that I've prepared especially for them.

As a busy adult with a chronic illness, I don't have much time or energy to give people, and I certainly don't have the resources to spoil them with fabulous gifts, but knowing that the things that I make for people are talismans of my love for them, and knowing that they are treasured as such, is a feeling that can't be duplicated. 

I know a lot of people worry about being able to afford to give gifts or having enough energy or the means to spend time with loved ones during the Holidays, and I wanted to say that I used to be really self-conscious about my homemade gifts -especially when they were sent in lieu of my presence as opposed to with it. I worried my creations weren't good enough, that people would think I was cheap, or had no talent, or a homemade gift was worthless, or my cookies were crap, or whatever it was that my negative thoughts were trying to convince me of at the time, and it took A LOT of work to get over those feelings. I know first-hand that feelings of inadequacy and shame associated with gift-giving or your ability to make it to events can be really hard, especially at this time of year, but guess what? Now I'm PROUD of the homemade gift tradition I began AND all the reasons I started it. Yes getting to this place of acceptance took time and work, but I'm so proud of myself and so happy my little tradition took hold and is as appreciated as it is!

If you're one of those people struggling with what they were able to give or not-give this year, I hope my story helps you. The things I used to make didn't used to look or taste great, let alone store-bought, but they were still very much appreciated by the people that received them because they knew it took me time and energy to make them, and I made them for THEM. Now, several years in, my crafting/baking/cooking skills are very much improved and I honestly think my friends and family like to watch me improve in my skills as much as I like making things for them to enjoy  -so if you're not great at making things right now, don't sweat it! The people in your life will still very much appreciate any effort you put into what you're making for them, and you'll feel so good about yourself when you create something (and you'll feel amazed as your skills start to grow!).

Plus, now that I've gotten pretty good at this whole homemade thing, I've had a few friends ask me to make things for them to give to others, and have paid me to do so. I've also taken that success a step further by putting some of my "just for fun" craft projects on my Etsy site- so now I get a few sales a year, and a little extra pocket money because I got over my insecurities and leaned into what I had available to give.

​Think about it, the cost of some fudge or a cute painting may be low, but the love behind it is BIG and those feelings are what really matter in gift giving anyway! Plus, maybe you'll get better at doing some things you love, or learn how to do something you always wanted to do, and who knows, if people love what you make, maybe it can shift into a little side hustle -you never know if you don't try!

So if you're holding on to some guilt or shame over giving homemade gifts or no-gifts-but-a-hug this Holiday Season, please let it go, and know that you've put your love and energy (your most precious resources) into your gifts to spread joy and light with the people you care about- and there can be no shame in that, only love- and what gift is greater than love?

Happy Holidays, and love and light from all of us here at The FSC


​Heather, FSC Founder
<![CDATA[How I Made my Bed-Space as Functional and Comfortable as Possible (These are a Few of my Favorite Things)]]>Sun, 24 Nov 2019 03:31:01 GMThttps://www.thefibrostrongcollective.com/blog/making-my-bed-space-as-functional-and-comfortable-as-possible-these-are-a-few-of-my-favorite-thingsI feel like I've been spending a lot of time in bed lately, as in more than usual. As a person with a chronic illness, I understand that I do, in fact, spend a lot of time in bed, but coming to terms with the fact that you have to spend more time in bed than most people is never a great feeling. After a long day of work, after going out, after doing a particularly difficult chore- I often go straight to bed, usually to nap for at least an hour or two, then I spend however much time I need to in bed while I recover. So as you can imagine - I spend a lot of time in bed. In fact, I'm writing this in bed right now!
All of this basically boils down to the fact that I've had to adapt. If I was going to spend so much time on bed-rest, I wanted to make my bed-space as comfortable and functional as possible. Over the years I've made several purchases of items that I've found helpful in making sure that the time I spend in bed is as enjoyable as possible, and as I've been using them a lot lately, I thought I'd mention some of my favorites! After all, Thanksgiving is coming up and it's important to express gratitude, and maybe some of these will help you too! So here are a few of my favorite purchases so far: 
  • A larger sized Nightstand with drawers - this gives me lots of surface space for things like books, snacks, a humidifier, candles, water, etc., and in the drawers I keep things like a journal, coloring books, sketch books, coloring pencils, etc.
  • A Velcro Bedside Caddy - I'm a lover of books and magazines and all sorts of things, so I take all the extra storage I can get to keep things in reach!
  • A Lap Desk & a collapsible Bed Desk - I keep these close to my bed for when I want to work on my laptop, journal, or craft - in bed of course.
  • A Mattress Pad - I don't sleep with one right now as I got a different mattress, but before I could afford a new bed/mattress, I bought a nice mattress pad that really helped keep me comfortable and supported
  • Nice Comforter, Sheets, and Good Blankets - There are a lot of good deals out there on good bedding and blankets, and you don't have to spend a lot of money to get something nice, but I do highly recommend buying colors/patters that make you happy. If you're going to spend a lot of time in bed, you should be surrounded be things that make you happy to look at, and that are comfortable.
  • Under the bed storage - I love to craft and tend to get bored easily, so keeping my craft supplies and movies and things under the bed ensures that I don't have to go hauling things around or go very far to stay entertained.
  • Chair Pillow - This may be my favorite purchase, it provides so much more support than just stacking a few pillows together!
  • Vitamin/Medicine/Prescription Caddy - I actually bought a hanging shower caddy and hung it on the wall instead of using up precious surface square-footage space storing all those bottles. It also helps to keep things in sight so I remember to take them!
  • Basket full of blankets/Heat Pack/etc. - Under my nightstand is a big basket (well, it's a gold art deco metallic basket, but its still technically a big basket - the style is up to you, lol) that has a few blankets and my heat pad so if I need them they aren't far away, but they aren't crowding my space either.
  • And obviously, A TV, BluRay player, Apple TV, equipped with streaming services - all of which sit on top of the low dresser that sits opposite my bed so I can watch tv in bed straight-on, so I don't have to crink my neck to watch tv.

As you can see, for most of these things - storage is key, so basically anything you can add around your bed to add more storage, and anything you can add to your bed to make it more comfortable is going to be your best bet. 

If you have anything you want to add to our list, please let us know in the comments below, but hopefully you got a few good ideas from our list above!

Gentle hugs,
Heather, FSC Founder
<![CDATA[Deciding Where to Send Your Energy When It's Limited by Chronic Illness]]>Mon, 04 Nov 2019 01:48:33 GMThttps://www.thefibrostrongcollective.com/blog/deciding-where-to-send-your-energy-when-its-limited-by-chronic-illnessWhen you have a chronic illness like Fibromyalgia, you have a limited amount of energy, and it doesn't always get replenished in the time-frame or in the ways that you think it will. The Spoon Theory is a really helpful tool to help us describe to non-Spoonies how it can feel like energy is a finite and rare resource for us, and even further, helps to explain that we do not wake up with the same amount of energy every day and that all tasks do not require the same amount of energy to complete. Some days we have more, some days we have less, and some days our energy is squandered far more quickly than we think it will be- and there isn't anything we can do about it.

All in all, this adds up to an equation for Spoonies. A decision that we have to make before doing or committing to anything at any time. It's something we do both unconsciously and consciously throughout every day of our existence. We have to decide if we have enough energy to perform a task, and then decide if we will have enough energy left over to do the rest of the things we need to do that day if we DO decide to preform the task in question, THEN we decide whether or not doing the original task is worth it or not. Because of this, tasks and goals are constantly prioritized, reprioritized, put on hold, and sometimes taken off our to-do lists for good.
Why am I talking about this right now? Well, I've been in a bit of a Depression fog lately. My biggest hurdle during this time has been more exaggerated feelings of exhaustion, but also feeling overwhelmed, over-worked, and STUCK in the worst way. I just felt so overly depleted and was never able to rise above my feelings of exhaustion to move forward with anything personal, and just trying to get through a work day was a REAL struggle as well.

About a month ago I looked at how things were going- how I was feeling, my routine, my to-do list, goals, etc.- and surmised that it seemed like this pattern wasn't likely to solve itself with the normal remedies, and so I decided to save my energy and focus on going out and making connections to the world and what I love about it- I needed to do things that made me feel inspired again. I needed a shake-up.

Now, a shake-up of a routine takes energy. It takes change. This meant that I was actively choosing to not do a lot of the things I was doing before I made this decision so that I could have the energy to do the things I wanted to do going forward- things like work on content for and engage with members of the FSC as often as I was doing before.

I will admit that taking a step back from pretty much everything in my life except the bare minimums did come with a pang of guilt- a guilt that I consciously continued to let go of whenever it picked it's ugly head up. I reminded myself that actively choosing to do one thing over another was acceptable, especially when considering WHY I WASN'T doing certain things, and WHY I WAS doing the things I chose to do instead. Whenever feelings of guilt popped up in this time, I'd reflect on my choices on where I was choosing to send my energy and where I was not, and it turns out that I was perfectly happy with where I was choosing to send my energy pretty much every time, and was able to release that guilt fairly quickly (PSA: this is a highly cultivated skill that requires constant work to maintain but has been an absolute life changing life skill- THANK YOU THERAPY!).

As a result of this, I have good news: in the last 4 weeks, I have done some amazingly extraordinary things that have reignited my soul and I feel like I started to push away the depression fog- so my plan is working! I went to see a talk by Neil deGrasse Tyson, saw Hozier in concert, and saw 'Harry Potter and the Cursed Child' play (parts 1 & 2). It is so important to remember that sometimes life needs an infusion of inspiration and wonder to keep it's luster. This weekend, after weeks of active choices regarding my energy flow and reserves, I finally feel like I may have more energy to give not only to work, but to the other areas of my life next week- YAAASSSSS!!!!

Living with and constantly battling a chronic illness like Fibromyalgia is HARD. Chronic Illness can very easily steal some of the joy from your life if you let it, and sometimes you have to be strategic about your battles, and what it takes to win them.  Reminding yourself of the amazing things that life can offer, and that you can continue to experience and enjoy them despite your diagnoses(es) can help to bring that luster back into your life. So if your light hasn't been shining as brightly lately, maybe it's a matter of refocusing where your energy is going. Maybe you need more rest. Maybe you need more art in your life. Maybe you need to spend some time with friends or family. Find out what you need to bring into your life to reignite your soul and then make the choices that will bring that into your life. 

Is this easy? Hell to the NO IT IS NOT! But the bottom line is, sometimes with chronic illness, and with life in general, you have to redirect where your energy is going, and sometimes that means "stealing" energy from another part of your life- and that's okay! Remember, it doesn't have to be a forever switch of energy flow, sometimes you just need to redirect the flow a little to get through a low-point, or a different stage in your life, but if a forever switch is needed, that's okay too! Listening to yourself and giving yourself what you need not just to survive, but to thrive, is so important, and I hope you're able to redirect where you're spending your energy if you need to without holding on to guilt- because the guilt isn't worth it, but you sure as hell are.

Gentle Hugs,

Heather, FSC Founder
<![CDATA[Do the Work, Change the World - A Note to Wrap up Mental Health Awareness Week]]>Sun, 13 Oct 2019 18:23:48 GMThttps://www.thefibrostrongcollective.com/blog/do-the-work-change-the-world-a-note-to-wrap-up-mental-health-awareness-weekThis week was Mental Health Awareness Week and I took a moment to reflect on my mental health journey- how it has changed me as a person, and how that in turn has affected the world around me.  The results of my reflections honestly surprised me, and I wanted to take a moment to share my story and my musings because I think it's important to help end the stigma around talking about mental health, but I also want to make a point, because I think if everyone was taking care of their mental health, the world would be a completely different place.

Think about it, we would all interact with each other differently- we'd be more empathetic, more inclusive, we'd make less hurtful decisions and lash out less. Hurt people hurt people. If we take that fact out of the equation of life, we'd be left with a lot more love and therefore a whole different world! 

Is doing emotional work easy? No. Absolutely not. It may actually be one of the hardest things you ever do- but isn't the thought of a better life and a better world enough inspiration to get out there and do the work? 
Like a lot of people, I've tried a laundry list of things in an effort to keep my mental health in a good place and stay balanced over the years, searching for what worked best and resonated the most with me. I've been on-and-off different pharmaceutical medications and I've tried several homeopathic remedies. I've made changes to my lifestyle, flirted with meditation (I'm not great at it, but really need to try harder if I'm being honest), and I've seen at least 5/6 therapists in different stages of my life when I needed extra help (starting when I was a kid, then as a young teen, then again during my late teens, with another stint in my early twenties, and yet another in my late twenties) and I imagine I'll probably see the inside of another therapists office before my time on earth is done -or at the very least try out or take up another habit (or twelve) to help me in my quest to stay balanced and mentally (and physically) healthy- and that's totally okay!

Looking back, I'm so grateful I put in the work and was able to find affordable ways to try new things and get the help I needed. If I hadn't tried all those different things and figured out what worked for me, and gathered the tools I needed I heal from trauma, get through the hard times and be my best self- I wouldn't be the person I am today. I would be angry, engage in unhealthy habits, patterns and behaviors, and possibly not be here at all -or at the very least I'd a wraith-like version of myself, and no offense to the self that could have been, but YUCK! That person doesn't sound like someone I would want to be friends with, let alone BE.

Growing up, it never occurred to me to think about how I was feeling or how I was dealing with hard things. I had no idea you could even be introspective- to step back and look at your life and feel your feelings and be honest about what you need to do to heal, or what you need to do to show up for yourself and meet your needs, or wonder if you need to learn new habits to be healthier or happier, or anything like that. I wasn't brought up that way at all. Introspection and self-care were totally foreign ideas to me when I first came upon them. I was brought up to just take it and carry on and get things done and be quiet about it, because that's how my parents were raised, and theirs before them, ad infinitum. Unknowingly I was taking in the messaging to suffer in silence- until my general practitioner asked me if I "might be depressed" at the tender age of 14. I literally hadn't even thought about it. I knew I was sad and mad and had a hard time keeping it together sometimes, but it didn't even register as a possibility for me. I was going to school, I was getting good grades, I was going out and living life- I was fine, right? Wrong. Turns out I was actually incredibly depressed and suffering from anxiety and acting out because I didn't know how to process things in a healthy way and I didn't even realize it.

This one question changed my whole life. Because of this moment I learned to be introspective, to repeatedly and regularly ask myself how I'm doing. To engage in self-care and get help if I need it.

Even now, sometimes I'm okay, and sometimes I need help (sometimes a LOT of help)- just like everyone else. Sometimes it's just that I've been overloaded with work or stress and I need a break or mental refresher. Sometimes I need someone to talk to. I may even realize that I new tools or need to pick up tools I've dropped to help me manage my mental health. Whatever it is, it all starts with taking a moment to ask myself what I need, and then following up and meeting that need -and I swear this has changed my life for the better in ways I can't even express. I could have gone down a very, very different path, one that was dark and unhealthy and dangerous, but I looked around, made some changes and redirected. Several times. (Like, a LOT of times.) I often fall back into old/bad habits and/or forget to stay on-top of the things that help me stay mentally healthy. Other times things happen that I have no control over. What I've learned is that it's okay. Things happen, things change, and we just observe and respond accordingly. 

​Checking in with yourself regularly and acting accordingly with the found results is soooo important in keeping yourself balanced and mentally (and physically) healthy and I can't encourage you enough to make this a regular practice in your life.

Think about it: the work we do on ourselves can have ripple effects that have the power to change the whole world. 

I started the Fibro-Strong Collective when I was in a low place, to create the supportive, understanding community I didn't have but needed, because I figured if I felt alone and in need of a community, other people probably felt that way too- and it turns out I was right. I'm so proud that I learned to use my pain and feelings of isolation to bring light to myself and to others. Imagine if I never learned that that was even an option. Imagine if I continued to engage in self-destructive patterns when I was low or things were hard. Less light in the world, right? Now think about how much more love and light would be in the world if we all made sure we were able to burn brightly, for ourselves and for others, and if we then learned to keep that candle lit. That's a whole lotta love and light in the world right?

Long story short: if you've taken control of your mental health journey, be proud!! If you're working up to it, I'm proud of you for being introspective enough to ask yourself how you're doing!! No matter where you are on your journey, I want to encourage you to show up and do the work - because doing so will create a whole new world - for you, and everyone else too.

With love and light,

FSC Founder
<![CDATA[The Ebbs and Flows of Fibromyalgia]]>Fri, 27 Sep 2019 11:30:00 GMThttps://www.thefibrostrongcollective.com/blog/the-ebbs-and-flows-of-fibromyalgiaWith a chronic illness like Fibromyalgia, there comes ebbs and flows. You have good days and bad days- the same goes for the hours in a day as well as weeks and months in a year, and sometimes they can even last for years at a time.

The last few months have been super busy for me, and in response my symptoms have flared up, especially over the last few weeks! I'm a lot more tired and achy than usual (though I always have a base-level of tired and achy, that base-level seems to be consistently rising over the last few months), and some of my other symptoms are acting up as well. So I guess you can say I've been in a chronic illness ebb, or is it a flow?, lately.

I've talked before about not being able to stick to a regular pattern when you're managing a chronic illness, and rather than beating myself up about not being able to keep on top of the things I usually am able to stay on top of, and not being able to do all the things I'd like to or used to be able to do, I'm reminding myself that it's okay that I can't. 

It's okay that I'm not currently the best version of myself that I have ever been in my life because I'm trying my best to be the best version of the person I am right now, current limitations included, and that's AMAZING and frankly, good for me! I could give up and wallow, but I'm not. I'm doing what I can with what I have, and I'm really proud of myself for that.

So if you aren't the all-time best version of yourself that you've ever been right now- don't sweat it. Just try to be the best version of who you are at this moment with what you have to give right now.

I never thought that managing my chronic illness would require so me to practice so much patience with myself, but it's so important to be mindful of how you talk to and treat yourself. Don't beat yourself up unnecessarily, praise your efforts and the fact that you're trying. All journeys start with a single step, and if you can't run, then walk, and if you can't walk, then crawl (to quote a few of the greats).

So let me encourage you to take a moment and praise your efforts. Managing a chronic illness is REALLY HARD, and if you're trying then I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!

Gentle hugs,

-FSC Founder and Fabulous Fibro-Fighter-
<![CDATA[The Importance of Creating the Time & Space to do What you Love when Living with a Chronic Illness]]>Sun, 08 Sep 2019 14:00:00 GMThttps://www.thefibrostrongcollective.com/blog/the-importance-of-creating-the-time-space-to-do-what-you-love-when-living-with-a-chronic-illnessLet's be real. Living with an invisible, chronic illness like Fibromyalgia sucks. Living with and managing an illness like Fibromyalgia affects you both mentally and physically, and can sometimes take everything out of you. This is why I think it's so important to make sure to create time and space to do what you love.

Hear me out. When life, or Fibromyaglia symptoms, get you down, you have to have something to lift your spirits. Something that makes you go, "Man, I love doing this! Life is great sometimes!" Something to hang on to when things go wrong and you want to yell, "Man, this the worst! Life sucks sometimes!"
To intentionally bring joy into my life on a regular basis, I added something to my self-care routine that I call "cultivating joy." I not only do this when I'm feeling particularly down or having a high symptom day or a flare, but I also practice is regularly to try to keep my base level as close to joy and happiness as I can. This involves bringing things into my life that make me happy, to combat or keep away what I call the "dark and swirly place."

Sometimes this is putting on some fantastic up-beat music, or watching something that makes me laugh. (No murder dramas or melancholy music to bring me down!) Other times this is doing things like 
​ crafting, dancing, and going to gardens or museums on weekends (when I can).

Now sometimes doing these things is no problem at all. A lot of my crafting is done in bed with the happy music or funny tv show going on in the background. But other times, doing the things I love means doing them even though they may bring a few extra symptoms along with it. I often times go right to bed after a dance class or hitting a museum exhibit- but it's worth it because life can't just be me sitting in my bed in pain feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes I just say, "Screw it. If I'm going to be in bed and in pain anyway, I may as well be there because of something awesome that brought me joy and happiness" and then I go do the thing and try to manage the symptoms that pop up as well as I can knowing I did a thing that I love today- which almost always makes it totally worth it.

A lot of times I think my brain tries to trick me into thinking that most of my life is spent in bed or managing my symptoms- totally boring and not great right? But other times I look back at my life and think, "Man, I've done a lot of cool stuff!" And that's what keeps me going on my really bad days.

This is why I think it's so important to have hobbies, interests, or a close supportive family or group of friends- you have to have something made up completely of sparkling joy and happiness to shield yourself from the dark and swirly things and thoughts that can try to bring you down.

So I encourage you to take a moment to think about what brings you joy- and I urge you to make a point of finding ways of incorporating those things into your everyday life and/or regular schedule. Even if it's just doing something fifteen minutes a day, a few hours a week, or once a month. Your happiness is worth it. Your mental health is worth it. YOU are worth it.

Wishing you the time and space to do what you love,

FSC Founder and Fabulous Fibro-Fighter

<![CDATA[Rest so you can Keep Going]]>Sun, 11 Aug 2019 13:30:00 GMThttps://www.thefibrostrongcollective.com/blog/rest-so-you-can-keep-goingHaving a chronic illness is hard. We do things at a pain level that would keep most people in bed, and we do it every. Single. Day. In addition to Fibromyalgia, I also battle Depression and Anxiety, and there are times when it feels like managing everything is an insurmountable task. There are times when it feels like I'm Sisyphus and my job/to-do list/goals/dreams/responsibilities are the rock I have to push uphill everyday, and my symptoms/illness/etc. is the reason it rolls back down to the bottom of the hill every day; and I just never seem to get get that rock to the top of that hill.

Like I said, living with a chronic illness is hard. Working this hard every day for a prolonged period of time and seeing little results as far as how you feel, never seeming to get better, and considering there is no cure in sight- it's hard both physically and emotionally. It's also easy to go to what I call "the dark and swirly place," which is not a state of mind you want to be in, trust me. Living with that kind of demoralizing existence every day is exhausting in every way- it's really, really hard, and sometimes in order to keep going and keep fighting, you have to stop and rest.
I'm not just talking about physically resting when you're in physical pain (and are basically bedridden and therefore forced to rest)- but I mean taking a mental rest when you need it as well. It's so important to remember to regularly practice self-care so you stay as healthy, both mentally and physically, for as long as possible- but it's also important that when the time comes that you need to take a real break, you recognize it, and you take it. Unapologetically.  

Maybe you need some serious physical rest. Maybe you need some serious mental rest. It doesn't matter. The time to stop and rest comes for us all, every human on the planet, because life is hard, and every once in a while, you just need it! Now, for those of us who have chronic illnesses, that time may come more often that it does for people that don't. People may not understand why you need the break. That's okay. Take the break anyway.
It doesn't help that this world tells us to validate ourselves by our output. By how busy we are. It tells us to feel shame when we're resting and to work through the pain and to be as busy as possible and take on as many projects as possible, and if you're not running in circles you're not doing enough.

Don’t listen to the messaging the world is selling you, listen to yourself, and if you need to rest, allow yourself to rest so you can keep going. So you can show up as the best version of yourself. Take the space you need to heal so you can come back swinging. There are benches along paths for a reason- so you can take a break and rest, to heal or to take a moment to enjoy life, and then continue along your path.

I recently had to take a rest, and I'm slowing coming back into myself, and that's okay. Our pace is our pace, and that's okay. I needed a break so I could keep going, and I'm taking it. And it feels great.

Wishing you the time and space you need to be your best self,


FSC Founder and Fabulous Fibro-Fighter
<![CDATA[Is Keeping up a Daily Routine When you Don't Feel the Same Every Day Realistic?]]>Sun, 07 Jul 2019 14:00:00 GMThttps://www.thefibrostrongcollective.com/blog/is-keeping-up-a-daily-routine-when-you-dont-feel-the-same-every-day-realisticIt seems like that for a while now we've been hearing a lot of talk from people who praise the power of "the daily routine." It turns out that there are a lot of people out there who have made a point to identify a list of things that they try to work into every day in order to be or feel like their best selves, and then make sure they do it. Some people have a specific morning or bed-time routine that they stick to religiously, while others simply have a list of things they make sure to work into their lives throughout the day or a certain number of times every week- and these people swear by the benefits this strict regimen brings.

​But what do you when you don't know how you're going to feel every day, how much energy you're going to have, or what kind of symptoms you'll be working with? It's all well and good to say, "I want to eat a healthy breakfast every morning to make sure I start my day with the best nutrition possible," but it's another to be able to get the groceries, and get up and make something for yourself (and possibly others) every morning when no two mornings are the same because your symptoms can vary so widely. You may be able to do this some days, but is doing it every day something you can realistically hold yourself to?
For people with chronic illness (ie: Spoonies), 'trying to do everything you possibly can to feel even just a little bit better' is often the short-hand version of our typical wellness plan. Everything from diet and exercise regimes, assisted therapies, frequent breaks, meditation, and medication are all on the table for us- and often all at the same time. However, when no two days are the same because of varying symptoms and intensity, it often becomes impossible to do everything we want to do, let alone the things we need to do or that would benefit us to do every day, and this means that we have to pick and choose what to accomplish, thereby leaving the rest of our list for the next day or dropping it entirely and moving on to try again another day.

This means that for a lot of us, even with the best intentions and determination, we just aren't able to do everything on our self-care to-do list (let alone our "adult responsibilities to-do list") and we have to learn to be okay with that.

For example: it's been a while since I've kept up with my bullet journals, which is how I usually keep track of what I'm able to do self-care wise (ie: eat healthy, move my body, etc.) and how often. This is a tool I use so I can see what benefits these habits/goals have on my health and to keep on top my self-care routine. (You can check out our Bullet-Journal template downloads on our 'Resources' page if this sounds like a helpful tool for you!) I fell out of the practice of keeping up with journaling a while back when I got busy and stressed at work, and as a result of that I had no energy for anything but sleep and work. While that was going on, I caught a col and then I had no energy for anything except moving from the bed to the couch, and I'm just now starting to have a little energy to spare so I'm starting to get back into it.

Now that I'm starting the practice again, I'm able to see how much time I've missed. Now, I'll be honest and say that I do usually miss a day here and there, but this time I missed A LOT of time. (Like, just over a month a lot of time.) And I'm having to remind myself that missing that time and not keeping up with tracking my self-care and putting my preventive self-care on hold is totally fine! Because you know what I was doing during that time? I was trying my best. I was trying to survive. I was at maximum capacity and doing what I was able to do. Asking for anything more than that from anyone is asking for too much. It's just not realistic, so why am I asking for more than that from myself? 

I feel like the totally human and natural (but also totally unhealthy) habit of comparing of our lives to other people's lives is something everyone struggles with nowadays with the prevalence of social media which causes us to be constantly bombarded by everyone's highlight reels. Highlight reels that conveniently don't showing us the work that goes into making those "highlight" moments happen or the failures that happen in-between. I also feel like this life-comparison can be especially hard on Spoonies because the struggle to "do it all" is compounded by things like varying symptoms that can take our goals and best intentions out of our control.

It's a bit cliche, but it's also true: everyone is on their own journey, and comparison is the thief of joy. As a person, and especially as a Spoonie, you have to forgive yourself for the difference between "what you want to accomplish" and "what you're able to accomplish," and lean into knowing that what you are able to do IS ENOUGH and let the rest go.

Is this an easy thing to do? No. Is it a constant lesson that you have to remind yourself of; a daily practice for the rest of your life? Absolutely. Is it possible to get there? Hell yes it is.

So let me encourage you to let go of any guilt that you aren't doing enough. It's okay to take breaks every now and again when you need them, and giving yourself permission to have them is so important. Trying your best is enough, and we remember, you can always pick-up dropped habits and move forward when you're able to pick them up again. 

Gentle hugs, 

-FSC Founder and Fabulous Fibro-Fighter-
<![CDATA[Sick of Being Sick With Fibro- Time to Flip the Script]]>Sun, 30 Jun 2019 14:00:00 GMThttps://www.thefibrostrongcollective.com/blog/sick-of-being-sick-with-fibro-time-to-flip-the-scriptA couple weeks ago I had to travel for work, and I worked pretty hard (and put in some long hours to boot) on this trip. I'm sure it doesn't surprise my fellow Spoonies to hear that when I got back, I promptly got sick. It started with a sore throat the morning after I got back, and before 24 hours had elapsed, I had a full-on Summer cold. Boo! 

It's unfortunate that most Spoonies tend to have a higher chance of getting sick when they push themselves too hard, but the fact that getting sick makes our other symptoms worse seems just downright rude. Being inhibited by the limitations my Fibromyalgia symptoms place on me is bad enough (I'd much rather be able to work and have adventures without worrying about getting sick and/or a possible flare), and let me tell you, being a sick exhausted mess is NOT how I wanted to spend the last two weeks!
Luckily, my Fibro-symptoms didn't go through an all-out flare, but the increase of pain and fatigue along with my new cold symptoms really took it out of me and I'm still not back to normal- which is becoming it's own problem. You can only be patient with being sick for so long before it starts driving you crazy, you know? Especially considering I have a hard enough time being patient with myself when my Fibro symptoms get bad- add a cold (and the fact that patience just isn't one of my virtues to begin with) and I've just about had it! Now, I can't just go out anyway, because outside or inside I'm a snotty mess that can't do much of anything without getting absolutely knackered, but knowing that isn't exactly helping my attitude any.

All in all, I'm a fairly young (33), healthy(ish) person. Before my Fibro got really bad I used to dance on a troupe and go out and do all sorts of things I can't necessarily do now- especially not right now while I'm sick- and it sucks. I know staying in and resting when I don't feel well is the best thing for me, but it still sucks. At this point, I'm already barely able attend a regular dance class and don't go out that much. Now I'm coughing and blowing my nose on the couch for weeks on top of that - how much more am I expected to take?

Now, it's important to feel your feelings, but dwelling on negatives you can't do anything about isn't helpful, so it's time to flip the script on myself so I don't drive myself mad. That being said, here is a list of some things I've been able to do/good things about my current condition:
  1. I've been able to spend some quality time with myself. After a crazy/busy week of travel and all that "face time" with people I had to make a good impression on, this introvert needed some quiet time to re-charge!
  2. I've been able to do a fair amount of reading- my brainfog hasn't been too bad and Dayquil doesn't make me too loopy, so I've been able to enjoy one of my favorite pastimes!
  3. I putzed about the garden a bit, did a little watering, nothing crazy, but I did pick some lavender for myself that smells delightful (one of my favorite smells!). And a little color from the outside world is nice to look at while I'm on the couch too.
  4. I'm house-sitting, so spending time in the house is really a benefit to the people I'm watching the house for (especially since they have pets who need quality time too).
  5. Sleep in! I no longer live alone, and I happen live with early risers (boo! hiss!). House-sitting for friends has allowed me the opportunity to not only live alone but to sleep in- which is so fabulous!

I know it can be really, really hard to stay positive and not drown in negativity when you have Fibro, especially when your symptoms get worse or are compounded for some reason (like a summer cold). Exercises like this help you realize it's not ALL bad. Like I said, it's important to feel your feelings- toxic positivity is a thing, and it's a thing to be avoided, but so is toxic negativity- and keeping a balance between the two is key. It's not easy, but it's incredibly necessary for your mental health to stay balanced.

If you have any exercises like this that you do when your Fibro gets you down, please share it with us in the comments below, and I hope you're able to navigate through the ups and downs of your symptoms with more grace than I am.

Gentle hugs, 

-FSC Founder and Fabulous Fibro-Fighter-
<![CDATA[Taking Time to Re-Charge and Not Apologizing For It]]>Fri, 31 May 2019 21:05:02 GMThttps://www.thefibrostrongcollective.com/blog/taking-time-to-re-charge-and-not-apologizing-for-itI consider myself lucky in that I'm still able to work, but this means that when it gets “busy” at work, it affects me more than it affects my coworkers. This means that I’ve had to unapologetically build breaks into my day/life that "healthy" people don’t necessarily need. This means lots of breaks away from my desk (especially on “high-symptom” days), naps during my lunch break, and lying down and resting (sometimes even straight up napping) immediately after work. Now, this also means not usually being able to do anything else in a work day because I’ve used up all my energy at work, and need to recharge to go back to work again tomorrow. This also means that I spend a lot of weekend time catching up on rest I lost paying it forward during the week, and using what little energy I do have on the chores that can't be put off any longer. This all adds up to not much of a social life, but a hell of a knowledge of what’s good on Netflix (please send recommendations!). Sounds super fun, right?

In related news (wait for it...), I turned 33 this week (which means I'm still not dead, y'all!!!), and I always like to get away and have an adventure on or around my birthday. I love dedicating a day to celebrating LIVING instead of the daily mode of simply surviving. At this point in my life, I've been dealing with my Fibro-symptoms for 19 years, so I've had some time to learn how to deal with my body's ever-changing needs, which comes in REAL handy when you want to have an adventure day but also have Fibro- which is a real toss-up situation no matter how you dice it, but so far, I've got a pretty track record! (Keep your fingers crossed!)

This year has been busy in pretty much every aspect of my life, so having a high-action adventure this year was out of the cards (ain't nobody got spoons for that!), but spending a few days exploring a new area was definitely in the cards- so I decided to do that.
The nice thing about living in California's Bay Area is there are a lot of cool touristy type towns within an hour or two of each other, so I went on Groupon, grabbed a deal on a cute place with nice beds and a jacuzzi, and then proceeded to over-pack for my three day two night trip to the Bay city of Tiburon, as one does.

The nice thing about dealing with a chronic illness, is after a while, you learn to take the breaks you need unapologetically. Does it take a while? Hell yes it does. Does the guilt ever truly go away? No. But there is something to all this talk about "you can't pour from an empty cup." You just can't so it. So even though it's busy at work and was ramping up to get busier, I knew I was already feeling burnt out, and I knew missing my annual tradition would make me feel even more depleted than I already was, and at that rate I'd never get through the weeks ahead, so I unapologetically decided to take the time to have my birthday adventure. I took two days off work and went on long walks along the bay, stopping often to watch pelicans and other sea birds soar over the bay, and the fog roll-in over the hills. Inevitably of course, these long walks lead to immediate naps, and some soak time in the jacuzzi, but it was exactly the kind of excursion I wanted. I got to see 'the other side of the bay,' which I'd never seen before, and I got to see it in a way that rejuvenated rather than taxed me- which is such a fine line for Spoonies, like me. 

I'm so lucky to work at a place that understands my needs and allows me a bit of flexibility in my schedule so I can work around my symptoms if I need to, and it's allowed me to really lean-in to listening to my body, and I'm so thankful for that because it's allowed me to build R&R into my lifestyle. So I'd like to ask you, do you build R&R into your schedule? Do you take breaks when you need to? Sometimes we have to push ourselves past our limit, but do you try your best to set yourself up for success? It's so important for Spoonies to really keep up with our self-care and to learn to listen to our bodies so we don't exacerbate our symptoms and cause a flare. Some of the most common R&R tips, and some of my faves, are:

- stay hydrated
- take vitamins/eat healthy food/have a balanced diet
- take a bubble bath/epsom salt bath after a rough day, or do as a regular practice
- do light stretches or yoga a few times a week, daily, or as needed/as capable
- take a nature walk/nice walk (preferably no chaotic sirens or dozens of people pushing past you) or sit outside in relative silence (or with relaxing music/podcast/audible book) when you can
- get a massage or acupuncture or assisted stretch - anything that helps ease your symptoms 
- use aroma therapy
- meditate or do breathing exercises regularly

There are so many things we can do to make sure we're taking care of ourselves- you certainly don't have to go so dramatic as I did on recent R&R/birthday trip- but I wanted to share my experience, and urge you to build breaks & R&R rituals into your life- make sure you're setting yourself up for success by taking care of yourself, and please share your favorite R&R rituals/habits/tips/tricks with us below!

Gentle hugs, 

-FSC Founder and Fabulous Fibro-Fighter-