Odds Are Benched But Not Monkey Wrenched!

Why would a monkey have a wrench? Would it play with it on a bench? Would you call that monkeying around? Would it be dogging around if it were a wrench carrying hound? I guess you'll need to see that view from a bench at your zoo.

Betty's on the bench.
Not a stinky trench.
Unless a bench is by a trench.
Then she may be on that bench.

Wow, could get washed away.
Straight into a stinky bay.
That takes the odds down.
Who knew benches could make one drown?

She finds a new bench.
Here comes a psycho with a wrench.
She stole his bench spot.
Wowweee, odds go down a lot.

The bench may break.
Toppled over in a lake.
Maybe rolled down a hill.
Benches really can kill.

Then it could be worse.
What's worse than a psycho curse?
Could get a splinter in your ass.
Benches can have those in mass.

Of course you'd have to have no clothes.
Or sucky fabric that falls off when the wind blows.
Hmm, odds are low on that.
So that ups the odds from the cat.

But she's a peeper.
Not in the way of a creeper.
At least the cat hopes not.
That would drop the odds a lot.

Instead they drop a bit.
She thinks the neighbors are a hit.
Peeping as they come and go.
They may not like that though.

Psycho neighbors take revenge.
News at 11 from Stonehenge.
Or would that be from Arizona?
Heck, it's not from Daytona.

Neighbors have rallied.
The odds are tallied.
Can see them from a bench.
They are even translated to French.

Odds = Highly Benched
But No Splinters Leaving Butts Clenched

Ever get a splinter in your ass? Now how did that come to pass? The cat may not want to know. Any good benches at your show? Betty will be around still I bet. I'm usually a right pet. Posts may get benched though if her neighbors catch on to her peeping show. Hey, the cat won't tell and raise any hell. I can't say the same for that singing bass. He is more of a blabber mouth than my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. Odds Are Benched But Not Monkey Wrenched!
    To own up before left stuck in the trench
    A bench with a view
    Lots of things new
    Appease neighbors lest they go for revenge


    1. Watch those neighbors from afar
      Or they may ram your car

  2. No splinters outside of a finger...but I bet that's why most benches are now metal. :)

    1. And hard on the ass
      After sitting comes to pass

  3. Good Sunday morning reading Pat.
    Have a good day.


  4. Always carry a pillow for sitting on a bench
    Slivers are available, like sitting on a fence

    1. A pillow is for the win
      I have two ass pillows at my bin lol

  5. Betty hasn't done much peeping lately. Hopefully, this post will encourage a post of her own!

  6. OUCH! Ya gotta be careful where you park your butt!

    1. May not be parked very long
      Some things can come on strong

  7. Thanks for the shout out
    And all you wrote about
    Still peeping at my place
    But met some neighbors in my haste.
    Might blog about it down the line
    Depends if the sun will shine.


    1. Met some too
      Look at you
      Not just a peeper
      Dug a little deeper

  8. The bench is hot in summer
    No splinters, prob sun burns
    Betty's busy with work
    Hang with grandkids, she yearns

    Fun post on a Sunday

  9. No slivers in the arse
    but, a few in the finger
    I hate when they linger

  10. All benches are nice

    except the ones homeless people sleep on

  11. Psycho neighbors at her show, too?
    Might want to let them sniff a shoe
    Or show them a great pit:
    "Look, it's wonderful," then push them in it.
    Sounds like a plan to you?
    Beats snoring like Scooby Doo.
    Just a bit of free advice
    Isn't that nice?

    1. haha evil Blue
      Murdering neighbors through and through
      Kicking them in a pit
      A face full of shit

    2. An evil Blue
      can that be true?

    3. True as Blue
      And his scooby doo

    4. An evil Blue
      Could be true
      All it takes is an evil neighbor
      And a saber lol

    5. No humper spree
      Better be near thee

  12. Betty fighting a psycho with a wrench. Now there's a mental image.

  13. Fun run on Betty and her bench, Pat! Yikes ~ splinter in ass. That brought back horrible memories of when my brother and I built a slide by putting a wide board we had found somewhere up against the stairs to our second story apartment. I was six, he was five; we thought we were clever. I went down it first and got a big, long splinter in my ass. That's when doctors made house calls, which was good because Dad was teaching miles away, and Mom had four young kids and no car. Roy, needless to say never got a chance to slide down our engineering wonder! LOL

    1. lmao bet he was glad for that
      Splinter where you scat
      Ouch and then some
      Don't want a tender bum

  14. I love visiting Betty on her blog and having her visit mine. :)

    Just saw Fundy Blues's story- yikes!

  15. I'll never look at a bench in the same way.
    After reading this post today. :)

  16. The bench got hot
    for this young shnot
    who scoots a lot
    through all this rot

    1. A rotten bottom
      Could freeze come late autumn

  17. Most benches are meant for waiting for something or someone. One should always choose which bench to use.

  18. Never had a splinter
    In my ass
    But I sat on a bee and was stung
    I was a sorry lass

    1. lol ouch indeed
      I burnt mine on a woodstove at my feed

  19. No splinters in my rear, but I did sit on a bench once and landed on a bee. Got a nice, fat stinger stuck in my bum from that.

    1. Damn, that seems to be going around
      Bees and ass cheeks must be found

  20. I enjoy bench with a view
    not one splinter in my ass, too.
    I did sit on a Bench and suffered a pinch.
    It was at an amusement park, fun in a synch:) (I tried)

    1. A pinch to the ass
      At least that will quickly pass

  21. A bench with a view
    A view without a bench
    Only enjoyable for a few
    But I like a view with a bench.


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