11 Things That Piss Me Off While Traveling

Well, friends, our two week trip to France and Switzerland is over. It’s been wonderful and from all of the posts, photos, and stories we’ve shared, it probably seems like we had nothing but good times. And that’s pretty much true. BUT,  traveling for this long takes its toll on you and we have begun to get a little crispy around the edges, as my friend Jessie says. As we sit here waiting for our final plane ride from JFK to BTV (which keeps getting pushed back), here are some things that really grind my gears while traveling:

  1. People who stop in the middle of an airport/escalator/hallway/doorway/or any other place where a mass of people are walking. And then continue to give zero fucks that they have caused a bottleneck and everyone is forced to step around them.
  2. People who are entitled. Oh, you think your sob story is somehow uniquely different from the rest of us stuck at Customs who are also trying to make a connecting flight? Please tell us about it, loudly, and repeatedly, as we move at a snail’s pace through this never ending stanchion. While we’re at it, let’s add cutters to this list, who have granted themselves the power to cut the whole  line. “But my flight’s in 10 minutes!” May I suggest instead of a plane ticket you buy yourself a watch?
  3. People who are jerks to those working in any kind of service role – gate agents, airline staff, restaurant servers – whatever. Snapping your fingers, being rude, and blaming them for your problems makes you the worst.
  4. People who complain about everything. If the coffee is too strong or not strong enough; if the hotel room was too bright, or too loud; if there was a line (which there always was, everywhere); If it was raining and they were getting wet, or if it was sunny and they were getting burned; or my personal fave, if whatever attraction they flew across the world to see “just wasn’t that impressive” — people will tell you about it.
  5. People with no spacial awareness. I can’t tell you how many times I was sitting on a  bench the size of a football field and someone plops down basically on top of me.  I know I’m pretty fun to be around, but please, take advantage of this 80 feet of pine to my right. Or I’m out of the way, leaning against a wall, and people to decide they must walk *inches* from me, or better yet, bump into me. WHHYYY.
  6. People who rush to get ahead of you, when you’re all going to the same destination. Yes, let’s all run to get off this plane and onto the shuttle they are putting us on. Hope you got the 4-minute long bus position of your dreams.
  7. People who turn every beautiful place ever into an Instagram modeling shoot. Asking your S.O. to snap a photo or two in front of a beautiful lake? Sure, knock yourself out. Turning that person into your Instagram Husband who takes photo after photo after photo of you in contrived, predictable poses– headstand, back to the camera, sideways-i-only-have-half-a-body, duck face–makes me want to throw you off that bridge you’re standing on.
  8. People who take more than their allotted photos at some place where there is a line of people waiting to do the same. What is that magical number? Ideally one, I’d settle for two, but anything 3 and above results in murder feelings. Asking group members to change positions, their facial expressions, where they are pointing, etc etc, while everyone is waiting their turn is unacceptable.
  9. People who take SO many photos, they can’t possibly be enjoying where they are. Maybe absorb it with your eyes for a second? Plus, what are you going to do with 34 shots of a carved lion?!
  10. People who don’t respect noise social norms. Headphones exist for a reason, like to mute the sound of a first person shooter game you’re blaring at Level 10 on a plane. While we’re at it, silence your phones, you barbarians, so that I don’t have to hear it ring 42 times before you pick it up, or hear the endless fake “snap!” noise when you take too many photos (as mentioned above).
  11. People who suck at parenting. This usually involves someone who thought it was a great idea to bring an infant to a sight seeing location, 10,000 feet in the air, via a crammed cable car, and marvel as the baby wails the entire way up. Or the parents who think it’s cute that their monster–I mean child–is scream talking and standing on the airplane seat, climbing over his mother/brother/father,  while the seatbelt sign is on. Or kicking the seat in front of him. Or throwing things at the person behind him. You know, just hypothetical.

So in conclusion, other people.