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05 February 2011

The Magical Vajayjay

Alicia Keys thinks that she has a magical vajayjay. i was in the locker room after my workout and her plain and not so spectacular voice came over the speakers. that "Unthinkable" song came on and she kept telling someone to ask her something 'cause she was ready. okay we get it, you are willing to do something that you would not "normally" do. then i realized that this song was about Swizz Beats. i supposed the "unthinkable" act was to carry on a relationship with a married man. so, she was ready to plunge head on. people close to me know that i am not a big A. Keys fan, but the coveter singing about "karma"thing made me even less of an admirer. as i was switching back into my work garbs, an epiphany seized me in an aggressive manner. A. Keys thinks she has a magical vajayjay, but sadly she doesn't realize that is just a myth. fake bitch bless her heart (c) Adele Givens.

how many times on Cheaters, Maury, Jenny Jones, Ricki Lake, and Flava of Love etc. have you seen some woman claiming that she was better than the wife/girlfriend and that was the reason why the husband/boyfriend cheated? every time I hear that statement, i guffaw as loud as i possibly can. these delusional hoes actually believe that there is some special power in their vajayjay that makes their cooch better than the next woman's. i subscribe to the Chris Rock philosophy: a man is only as faithful as his options. now back to A. Keys....she was the willing option. Swizz Beatz had a wife named Mashonda with whom he had a baby. while he was with his wife, there was another child conceived in another country. this young lady was a willing option. and i'm sure there have been others, but A.Keys felt she was the best of the rest. it can't be because Swizz put a ring on it, because he married Mashonda....'Licia you remember her, right? she must believe that she has magical vajayjay.

in this video, comedian Vanessa Fraction speaks about the vajayjay (not so eloquently). she says that no one vajayjay is better than another, just different. some are wetter, some tighter, some deeper but not better nor magical ...just something new for that man to work with. my fear is that women will emulate A.Keys, continue to participate in adulterous relations with the idea that they have magical vajayjay, and that a man will leave is girlfriend/wife for her/it. we, women, need to stop believing our own vajayjay hype. here are a few things we need to understand to quit perpetuating vajayjay falsehoods:

1. you are not the only one he has said "its so good" to - when men have sex, its mostly always good..unless there is an odor...and then i can't imagine why he would go in at all.
2. good vajayjay that a man wants to keep around, will not be the talk of the town. he doesn't want anybody else near it or you. it is NOT cute that other people that you are NOT having sex with you are talking about your vajayjay.
3. because you are light skinned, with long wavy hair and a big butt does not automatically make your vajayjay good. dudes have said that pretty girls usually have lazy vajayjay and don't necessarily enjoy the experience but you 'shole do look good.
4. if you are using your vajayjay as a bank account, people know. you could not be more obvious, Ms. i don't work but i drive bentley and live in an expensive condo. why not use Wells Fargo instead of your vajayjay?
5. community vajayjay is NEVER a good thing. there is a difference between sexual freedom and whoring. if you don't know which one you are doing, assume its the latter and quit it immediately.

i could go on, but i would like to hear your input about the magical vajayjay. hit me up!!!!