Trevor McDonald Meets the Mafia. STV 9pm.


Trevor McDonald doesn’t meet the Mafia. You can’t, for example, meet France. But you can meet French men and women. Trevor McDonald does meet with three people. Two were in a criminal organisation called the Mafia, which was made of up five big players, or families of Italian extraction, one is currently in the Mafia. Let’s call the one currently working for the Mafia Jimmy the Humpbacked Whale. That’s not his name, of course. He keeps his face covered and wears an Arab scarf arrangement, but without being an Arab. It’s obviously dangerous talking to Trevor and he lets us know this. The only person he trusts are dead people and his mother (who might or might not be dead) and his Facebook friends. The FBI have got a link. They’re pretty modern that way.

The Sheriff worked a block in New York, had ten houses, one was a gun room where he kept his machine guns and other armaments. Mess with the Sherriff and you tended to be dead or deadabouts. He served a couple of years in prison and did a deal with the FBI. Life goes on, but he misses ‘the life’.

Mikey Scars was a level above The Sherriff. He took Trevor on a little hurl into his old neighbourhood. Pointed out a few players sitting at a table outside a café. Made millions for his boss, but when arrested the money dried up. Was told by the family his wife can whistle and go on welfare. He might be a murderer, but he knew the code, no welfare for my wife, I want a new life. In steps the FBI, gets him a real cool job flipping burghers in McDonalds. Kidding, that’s not the life or anywhere near the life. Working is for suckers.

John Sonny Franzese (junior) was born into criminal royalty. His dad John Sonny Franzese senior was an underboss of the Colombo crime family and at 94 is currently the oldest Federal prisoner. Way to go dad. John Junior initially did good. He made and laundered about $10 million a week of thereabouts in Southern California producing classics such as Texas Chainsaw Massacre (no real criminals legs were allegedly chainsawed off in the making of this film) and Deepthroat that he got presented with the keys to the city from the Mayor and another kind medal thing from a Cardinal. The FBI give him a deal of seven years and then rehab.

Trevor (the Undertaker) McDonald sure makes these birds sing. One common feature is they all miss ‘the life’, but that’s only because they are alive. I miss the life too. I’d suggest reading Mario Puzo, The Godfather, or watch the box set. The third film is pretty crap, but hey perfection is a hard game to play more than twice. The Mafia ain’t what they was, but there’s still money to be made in organised crime. The trouble is the law of omerta no longer applies. First to squeal is first to deal. It’s no longer a good business model. $10 million is not even lunch money on Wall Street where the real crooks hang. Go to Wall Street Trevor and then we can talk money.