Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Keywords in a CV (lighter side)

Read this on with a pinch of salt, and with a lot of humor - typical keywords used in a CV, and what could these be taken to mean in the real sense.

Outgoing Personality = Always going out of the office

Good Communication Skills = Spends lots of time on phone

Average Employee = Not too bright

Exceptionally Well Qualified = Made no major blunders yet

Work is First Priority = Too ugly to get a date

Active Socially = Drinks a lot

Family is Active Socially = Spouse drinks, too

Independent Worker = Nobody knows what he/she does

Quick Thinking = Offers plausible excuses

Careful Thinker = Won't make a decision

Aggressive = Obnoxious

Uses Logic on Difficult Jobs = Gets someone else to do it

Expresses Themselves Well = Speaks English

Meticulous Attention to Detail = A nit picker

Has Leadership Qualities = Is tall or has a loud voice

Exceptionally Good Judgement = Lucky

Keen Sense of Humor = Knows a lot of dirty jokes

Career Minded = Back Stabber

Loyal = Can't get a job anywhere else


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