Friday, September 23, 2011

What's bugging me?

I met my tall and beautiful stick person friend for lunch. I tried to wear something less un-flattering than usual. Based on the fact that a quick 100 sit-ups were not going to improve my situation in the four hours I had to prepare for our rendez-vous, I was still trapped in the same body, even with my best attempts at fashion. I also brought along whatever gray hair I have, but did spend an extra five minutes, um, styling it (that is an overstatement). This information is fairly irrelevant to the rest of my tale, but I would like to point out that when she ordered a cookie, I refrained. (Of course they didn't actually give her the cookie they must not have heard her order, but I heard it from the next register.)

It was a little weird how we ordered the exact same thing, but her sandwich came on toast, and mine did not. However, I got a little something extra in my salad that she did not. The lettuce was kind of torn all willy-nilly so that it actually took some planning and effort to get each forkful into my mouth without causing a scene. I had a tidy selection of cheese tomato and a few pieces of lettuce left when the blur that had been in the corner of my bowl came into focus...Why hello very large MOTH! I don't want to exaggerate, so I will say that he was almost 3/4" long. I cannot believe I did not take a picture! Since I had alerted my friend to the situation, the priority at the moment seemed to be to get that bowl away before one of us hurled. I know it was just a moth (a large one), but I also know that it had been there the entire time I was eating--meaning I could've eaten a friend of his and whatever cooties they had traipsed across my produce. Bleah!

I brought my bowl to the food pick up area, where one of the prep guys got a manager...stat! She apologized and asked if I had my receipt as she ditched the bowl and ushered me away from that area. I went to get my receipt and headed to meet her back at the register. On my way there, I passed another customer who asked if I found something in my salad. When I answered "yes", she had a look of concern and said "Oh, I ordered salad too." I wanted to say "Hey Tootsie, this is my moment, my traumatic lunch. At least you know to check your lettuce!" Instead, I said nothing and kept walking.

At the register, I saw the manager was writing out a gift swell! She handed me the $20 golden ticket, as I asked if she still needed the receipt. She did not, as she said I was all set (and apologized for about the third time). What? No free cookie? I guess I forgot to write the "can be placated with baked goods" message on my forehead. I get it that I had almost finished the salad, but my untoasted half of a sandwich, that was back at my table, held little appeal at that point (yes, of course I finished it anyway). I would've rather been reimbursed for the money I spent right then and there...and been given a cookie, of course. Maybe I was too scarred to return there to eat, so what good would a gift certificate be then. The ungrateful part of my brain also realized that it wasn't really a $20 gift certificate, since I paid $9 for the insect habitat, but rather $11 worth of hush money. I also wondered how much of the salad needed to be left for them to offer to get me some more food. I should've had my friend bring it up, as she looks like she needs something else to eat far more than I do!

I know that bugs like to chill on lettuce, but I also know that you should look at it when you are washing it. I will now bring my own salad spinner, and eat the yummy cheese first, when I go back to redeem my gift certificate. OR that gem is one less Christmas gift I have to buy, as I give it to someone else. I am pretty sure it didn't say "bug comp" on it.


  1. See, this right here is why I eat fried foods.

  2. Ewww. But count your blessings it was just a moth. While on vacation a few years ago, it was a big, slimy, slug under a piece of lettuce. I was traumatized.
    Found you from the Over 40 pinky.

  3. Eww Eww Eww I couldn't go back, just couldn't. Of course, I pick through everything I eat first (super anal wimp here) but gah. If I had a relative I had an obligation gift to give to that I wouldn't mind giving cooties to I'd use the gift for that. lolol

    Sorry for your trauma, I think they should have comped both your and your friends' meals AND tossed in a huge ass gc, but nobody ever consults me on these things.

  4. Ewww...I would have lost my appetite after that "extra." I may have taken a cookie, but I don't know that I could bring myself to eat it. The money was definitely better!

  5. hahahaha! Omg! That is a great story! You were much calmer than I would have been!