Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Name Shame

Thought Number One:  Should There Be Any Limits on What Parents Name a Child?

For the last decade or so a number of rather unique, if not down-right crazy, baby names have appeared on birth certificates all over the world.   That is especially true in the United States where there are no rules concerning what you name your child.  AND ...that, my readers, has led to some very creative parents hanging some very unfortunate names on their offspring.  What others might deem imaginative, the general populace may think of as weird.  Take for  example the names Lemonjello, Loser, or Hashtag.
Just last November, little baby girl Hashtag Jameson was born to parents that really love Twitter.  They probably Tweeted about the arrival of little Hashtag but they most assuredly updated their status on Facebook.  That is... the real Facebook.  Not the Facebook that is a little boy in Egypt.  When people hit the "Like" on Facebook,  let's hope that they were hitting the little blue button and not hitting the  little girl in Israel named Like.

The most unusual names of 2012 have been released and there are some very creative names that made the list last year,  ALTHOUGH.... after reading this year's list, I personally don't see any names that would break the 'oddness factor" of Jason Lee's son,  Pilot Inspektor or Penn Jillette's daughter, Moxie Crimefighter.
Maybe an odd name...Hashtag but such
a pretty baby.
Not including  Hashtag's unfortunate name, some of the others are just mildly weird such as  Blue Ivy,  Hippo, Excel, Goodluck, Couture, Espn, Inny, J'Adore, Four, Jazzy, Leeloo, Jury, Tron, Google, Drifter, Sanity, Neon, Jedi or Thunder don't really seem all that bad?   Do they??

If you are interested in comparing the 2012 list to some of the previous celebrity kid's names you can here and here.

The reason, I even bring this up...is that several times over the last few weeks I see that people from other countries are challenging their governments to allow them to be more creative with their children's names.  There are  a number of countries that have rules that forbid non-traditional names.


Denmark has very strict Law on Personal Names.  Parents  can choose from 7,000 available names.  Parents can request special permission for unusual names but very often they are denied.  In Denmark, the names have to be gender specific and last names can not be used as first names.
The names Anus, Pluto and Monkey have all been denied.  (The Anus kid got lucky his parents are NOT  in the U.S.)

New Zealand

The New Zealand Birth, Deaths, and Marriage Registration Act of 1995 doesn't allow people to name their children anything that might cause offense to a reasonable person....is unreasonably long or without reasonable justification.  Some of the names that have been rejected are Fish and Chips, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucky, Sex Fruit, Satan and Yeah Detroit.


A Swedish couple has been fined for failing to register a legally approved name for their seven-year-old child, who is presently called "Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116" (pronounced "/ˈalˌbin/"). They've offered to change the kid's name to "A," but the Swedish government says that won't do, either.

How Crabby talked a Swedish cop into trying to extradite  Cheryl P. to Sweden is puzzling.  As we are from the U.S.  we can name a kid nearly anything our creative minds can think of.

Thought Number Two:  How Did I Get By With Naming Crabby Pants.

Unfortunately, Crabby Pants got wind of the concept of unusual names aren't necessarily allowed everywhere and is trying to have me extradited to Sweden. The big problem, though, is I am American. They can't  touch me....oh and there is the fact Crabby Pants is one of my alter egos.

Cheryl P.  Crabby Pants, you are just the part of me that acts childishly, and is perpetually  crabby.  You should thank me for having a vivid imagination or you wouldn't even exist.  You do understand you and I are one in the same.  We even have the same initials.  C.P.

Crabby Pants...What?  I am not a young girl??  Exactly HOW OLD are we talking, here?

Cheryl P.  Whoa!.... let me stop you right there, my snotty little friend.  Be careful about using the word OLD.  Technically you and I are the same age and we don't consider ourselves all THAT old. 

Crabby Pants...So why did you give Sweet P. such a cute name?

Cheryl P.  Because Sweet Pea is our alter that is sweet and kind.  She has all the southern charm that we were taught growing up in the South.  

Crabby Pants:  Sweet, huh??? No wonder she doesn't come around much. Where is Witchy Cheryl these days?  She is much more to my liking.

Cheryl P.  She is always close at hand, my crabby friend. 

Three Faces of Eve...Eve was an amateur.  We have dozens...yes...dozens of alter-egos.

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Debra She Who Seeks said...

Why should people be able to inflict their own stupidity or cruelty on a helpless infant? Beyond the normal parameters of parenting, I mean.

babs (beetle) said...

I think giving your baby a really weird name is just a way of parents showing off. A bit like having a flash car, just so they can get noticed more. I think they are sad people, who have no regard for their child. I don't have a problem with unusual names, but some of these names are awful. I do, however, love crabby pants ;)

Chubby Chatterbox said...

I never understood why parents would give their kids such odd names. It isn't the parents who have to live with these names and in many instances it just seems cruel.

Beverly Steeves said...

i live in a province where parents name their boy children after the wild west including - spur, rope, cash, west, colt.... we have yet to have a saddle. i need to get my ass over here more often - great writing.

Cheryl P. said...

I do think that maybe some of the other countries might be not too far off base with at least some minimal rules. In the U.S. there must be some local rules concerning names that are considered if they are perceived to be "hate' induced.. I heard a NJ couple wasn't allowed to name a baby Adolf Hitler. (thank goodness for the kid's sake)

Cheryl P. said...

That is an interesting point Babs. The odd names give the parents some distinction too. I never thought of that. I agree that it's pretty sad that the kid is ladened with a unusual name because of the parents trying to be unique and clever (in their minds at least). Yes, some of the names on the various lists are AWFUL. As cartoons go....Crabby Pants works. Thank you for loving it. That makes me super happy.

Cheryl P. said...

Definitely some of those names are cruel. You have to wonder if all the people that see little Espn's name will even get to say E-S-P-N. That kid will be explaining his name FOREVER. You didn't name your son Chatterbox Jr. did you?? (not that that's not a perfectly fine name)

Cheryl P. said...

Welcome, Beverly! Some of those are half bad. I think Cash is actually kind of neat. Let's hope that people continue to stay away from Saddle. That doesn't seem right. Your ass and all connected body parts are welcome here anytime. I look forward to hearing your thoughts in the future.

Cheryl P. said...

I meant some of those are NOT half bad...had to go back and correct that. Sheesh,,,I really should proofread more.

Riot Kitty said...

Anus and Excel? Wow. I remember that family who named the poor little kid Adolph Hitler. I'm thinking some restrictions in this area would be a good thing.

Cheryl P. said...

I would agree there has to be a line that shouldn't be crossed. I wouldn't want to be on the committee to decide where that line is. Surely anything that can be associated with hate speech should be disallowed.

Trina said...

I have always been a fan of classic names myself... Blanche, Rose, Dorothy... wait those were the Golden Girls LOL Bu seriously, I do like the classier old school names. I don't understand why people have to name their kids goofy names, that's what nicknames are for after all.
Good thoughts! And don't worry Crabby Pants, we aren't all so lucky as to have a name that fits our personality!!

Wolfbernz said...

Hi Cheryl,
In my opinion, it's so mean to name your child like this. It's out of their control and they are labeled instead of named. I couldn't imagine having a name like some of the children have today. Good for countries like Sweden, al least they recognize the issue and have a bit of common sense.
Clicks for you!

Cheryl P. said...

Yes, I wouldn't want to be to far out on "creativity" with names. I like some of the newer names as well, like Madison, Taylor, Tyler, Mattox but certainly not ESPN or Excel and absolutely not Hashtag. UGH.
You are so right...Crabby Pants so fits her name...and pants. She will just have to deal with it.

Cheryl P. said...

I agree that some of these names nearly sound like a bad joke on the kid. There is a certain meanness associated with naming your kid Google or Hippo. You have to wonder what type of parents do this. I wonder if there are some local rules in any states that curtail what names are given. Out of all the articles I read, they all seem to infer that the U.S. doesn't dicate what a person names their child. If the crazies got to inventive perhaps some limitations would be imposed.

Jo-Anne said...

I am with you some people are fools around and should be forced to use the stupid name themsleves for a month before being allowed to give it to a child.............

Cheryl P. said...

Wouldn't that be an interesting experiment...if parents had to try out the name by having to use it as if it was their own. I would bet there would be less odd name choices.

lisleman said...

dozens of alter-egos ? there's drugs for that right?
A split personality benefits a blogger by providing a better variety of post ideas.
I posted once about a guy who changed his name to Natural Hunka Kaboom and ran into a problem because it.


Cheryl P. said...

I definitely don't want to take anything that would make Crabby Pants disappear as she is necessary for her ability to whine on my blogs.

I remember that story about kaboom. I, too, had a post about it.


Robyn Engel said...

Hahaha, great post. I think it's abusive to give babies these names. What's Hashtag's middle name - RT? So sad.


Cheryl P. said...

I don't think the article said..but then my memory is horribly short lived. Your RT idea is awesome though. Perhaps you should start a baby naming service.

oldereyes said...

Sorry I didn't make it on Tuesday. I suppose I wouldn't be happy if our government restricted names but having grown up as Francis (in the age of Francis the Talking Mule). My son didn't even want it for a middle name ... he changed his to Frank. I feel for kids who get stuck with names Hashtag and Moxie. By the way, among your "mildly weird" names I'd suggest that Hippo could turn out to be really bad depending on whether the child is overweight or not.

I'm glad you straightened things out about about your alter egos. I think your crabby pants is like my Inner Curmudgeon. Occasionally I've talked about MT CP, Critical Part (mainly critical of me, so he doesn't get to post) and RS, my Rational Scientist whose hero is Mr. Spock. I'm not sure I have a sweet and kind alter ego ... maybe because I'm from New England, not the South. What would I name him anyway (rhetorical question).

I loved you comment on "Best Thinking" particularly your hint on how to go viral. That may turn into a post.

Cheryl P. said...

In one breath, I am always talking about less restrictions so it is hypocritical to say I would want any laws to governing names but as people get crazier with names such as Sex Fruit and Anus, part of me thinks there should be at least as much governing of children's names as personalized license plates.

I imposed a less than popular name as my son's middle name as well. truly no better than Francis. My son is fine with it as he never has occasion to really use it and he is thanking his lucky stars that I didn't make it a first name thus making him a Junior.

I do like introducing characters such as Crabby Pants (who is exactly like your Inner Curmudgeon) Camphor Girl and WTF (Wanda the Take-it-Back Fairy). It's much easier for showing the conflicts that I generally write about when there are opposing viewpoints. Plus the most fun I have in creating my posts is drawing the cartoons.

I don't know that being from New England means you aren't sweet and nice but I will say part of being raised in the South by Grandparents you are raised in an environment of Miss Pittypat's Finishing School for Proper Young Ladies". I still have trouble not answering everyone with a yes ma'am, or no sir.

As for my observation (which I am convinced is true) that the fastest way to blog fame is to insert some key words...which a proper young (OK I used to be young) lady from the south can't say without using %&*$%# or *********.

Nicky said...

Oh, I think the governments really don't do enough to protect children from their parents' crazy name choices. A few years back there was a situation where the gov't stepped in AFTER parents had named their son Adolf Hitler and their daughter Aryan Nation. They ended up taking the kids away. Then there was a girl in Australia whose parents named her Tallulah-Does-The-Hula-In-Hawaii. She was nine when she petitioned the courts to legally change her name for her since she wasn't old enough to file herself. Insanity. Gotta wonder if these parents actually hate their kids.

oldereyes said...

I can say, "shit" without blinking, but not any of the heavy duty stuff. Besides, if I did, Muri would disown me. Not a good trade for going viral ...

Cheryl P. said...

This is where my conflictedness comes in. While I am saying "yes ma'am and " no sir" , I could be thinking of those heavy duty words, I just wouldn't put them in writing....esp. onto the Internet. My husband wouldn't even think it was out of the norm for me to be saying that I think some one is a major #%*&)+#$.

Cheryl P. said...

There is a flaw in the system where you are monitored as far as what you are allowed to put on a personalized license plate but can name your kid just about anything.

OMG..I had heard of the Adolf Hitler name but not the Aryan Nation and REALLY??? Tallulah-Does-The-Hula-in-Hawaii??? While I am laughing (sorry, I know I am sick) that is so wrong on so many levels. Another example of why some people need NOT to have children.

abeerfortheshower said...

I remember the days when "Hashtag" was called "Pound" or "Number Sign." Damn you Twitter. I love how certain black people name their kids. You know, like when you see a kid named "Tyquarius" or "LaTrayShawn." You just can't top that kind of creativity.

Cheryl P. said...

For every really bizarre name that you think can't be topped with a EVEN MORE BIZARRE name...it can. I couldn't hardly believe that someone would want to name their kid "Keenan Got Lucky" (although truthfully we don't know if it was luck or alcohol) but then Nicky tells me that someone actually named their kid Tallulah-Does-The-Hula-In-Hawaii. Face it we live in a world with some major idiots.

meleahrebeccah said...

I'm sorry, people are totally fucking crazy. And I am DYING laughing at the name Hashtag Jameson. That's hilarious. Although, I'm sure little Hashtag Jameson wont think so. Good thing it's pretty easy to legally change your name in this country as well.

Wait? Someone named their kid, FOUR? That reminds me of an episode of Seinfeld, when George Costanza wanted to name his child Seven.

Also, I LOVE your inner conversation with Crabby Pants!

Cheryl P. said...

Of course they are...how else can you explain some of this stuff? I think maybe little Hashtag's parents were into another kind of hash as in hashish.

I remember that episode. God that was funny show. I wonder if the family that has the kid named four has three other kids named One, Two, and Three.

You are always so nice. What would I do without you being my blogging friend? Crabby Pants and I would both be crabby.

meleahrebeccah said...


Now that? Would be HILARIOUS.