If I was you, I’d want to be me too. Except not.

Did you know that your “funny bone” isn’t even a real bone? I started thinking about it when I whacked my elbow on the car door during the long weekend. The result was not funny at all. But because I have an enquiring mind, I wanted to know why why why? It is the ULNAR nerve that creates that pain. This nerve is responsible for the control of your forth and fifth fingers.

When I was young, probably about six, I licked the end of a battery. Heaven knows why, but I thought it was a good idea at the time. It was one of those big square batteries that you put in the remote control to drive a toy car. It gave me a small, stinging shock but for some reason I did it a few more times. This act defined the fine line between pleasure and pain. Did you ever do it? If so you will know exactly what I mean.

Yesterday I scraped the skin off the back of my heel on the bottom of the screen door. I went down like a sack of crap as I have the worlds worst pain tolerance threshold. Seriously, this is why I do not have a tattoo. Apart from breaking my leg twenty years ago and being in labour for 7835 hours, there are two other notable painful episodes on my life.

Once I was at the gyno having a merina put in. Without telling me, the doctor numbed my cervix. WITH A MOTHERFUCKING HUGE NEEDLE. I yelped, asking her why didn’t she warn me!

“Because you would freak out if I told you.” She told me. She was 100% correct.

And the other pain point was also a medical procedure. I had begun to grow what looked like a witches wart on the tip of my nose. I needed it not to be there. The skin specialist agreed with me and told me how he planned to use a little hole punch to remove it. Sounds reasonable. But first he had to numb the area. WITH A MOTHERFUCKING HUGE NEEDLE. Did you know that there are a million nerve endings in your nose which means when stick with a huge needle, makes ones eyes weep, makes you yell out swear words and makes you squeeze the shit out of the nurses hand? That pain spreads over your face like a bad case of chicken pox until you plead with mercy, and hope that God appears to take you to the pearly gates?

Until this morning, I would have listed these things as the most notable pains that I have endured. And then I watched this.

If you are a true masochist you can watch the extended promotion by clicking here.

No way am I having a dig at these women personally. Lots of people would love the sort of infamy that goes along with these types of shows. I have an issue with basically every other single little thing that this show stands for.

Am I over-reacting or do you agree that this in exceptionally painful?