When you are in a loving relationship, you trust your partner and all is right with the world until you they betray you.

The thing about betrayal is that you never see it coming most times which is why it is a betrayal; else it is just a person’s behavior.

When you hear about it or were unfortunate enough to even witness it, it would rock you to your very core and shatter every piece of trust you ever had for them.

And you feel you can never heal from the hurt or get your life back together, which is not true.

In the early times, when someone was betrayed by their spouse they would just suck it up and deal with the emotions internally and this can affect your mindset and other relationships.

But in this present age, people are quite fortunate to have life coaches.

When someone’s spouse strays, they might be so afraid or feel too vulnerable to talk to their friends or family member about it out of shame. Or simply because they do not want to keep hearing I told you so and leave him/her.

At that point your emotions are raw and you need someone who is unbiased and experienced in dealing with situations like this to help you make sense of what you are going through and how to move on, that is where a Life coach comes in.

A life coach is someone trained to help you discover what your goals in life are and push you towards achieving it. Most people confuse coaching for counseling because they seem similar at times.

But while a counselor would try to support and empathize with you, your life coach challenges you to be a better version of yourself.

Will a life coach help you heal from your partner's disloyalty? They can try but it is up to you to decide to heal from it.

After an incident like that, it is advisable to get a life coach as soon as possible because the faster you start working on healing yourself, the better you would feel.

Here are some reasons why you should hire a life coach after a partner cheats;

1. The feeling of Guilt

In an occasion when you love your partner so much and they let you down, you might begin to rationalize it. In doing this you take most of the blame so they look faultless, which makes it easy for you to forgive them.

But in doing this, you’re hurting yourself. The fact that your partner was disloyal to you should not be your fault. A wise friend once said no matter what is going on with your partner, they always have the choice of cheating or not.

A life coach would help you get over this feeling of guilt and help you realize that your partner's betrayal is not your fault.

2. Your well being

After an incident like that, you are most likely to enter the chocolate/ ice cream and sweatpants mode and your self-care becomes the farthest thing from your mind, which is not good.

If you do not take care of yourself, you would most likely not be able to make the right decisions, which is why you need to hire a life coach.

A life coach would help you realize why you need to take your self-care seriously.

3. Your next move

Since you never saw it coming; or even if you did imagine it happening someday, it is not the same as experiencing it. As much as you would like to think you would be able to handle yourself when faced with a spouse's disloyalty, you might just get stuck with no idea what to do, which is kind of like being in a limbo state.

But a life coach would help you come to terms with the betrayal and your feelings about it. Getting in touch with how you feel is your first step to healing, and then you can decide what you want to do and the way forward after it happens.

With the help of your life coach you can come out of your survival mode and decide to end the relationship or give your partner a second chance, that step depends on you alone.

Nobody plans to be let down by their spouse but unfortunately, you fell into that category. It is not the end of the world so stop acting like it is, you would definitely get healed, just open your heart to the possibility and get a little help from a life coach; you would feel great again in due time.

Most people are not open to the idea of getting a coach, they doubt if it even works. The truth is after going through something as bad as a partner's betrayal, you need to let out your emotions, talk to somebody.

You might not want to talk to people you know or are close to because you are ashamed or you want unbiased advice, so why not get a life coach? Even if you feel they might not help you get better, at least you get to open up to someone about how you feel.

Before you go ahead and hire one, you need to find one that is best for you, that way you maximize your chances of healing. Here are some tips to help you pick the best life coach for you;

1. They specialize in relationship issues

People hire life coaches to help them figure out and improve certain areas of their life not going well. It might be business, family or even finding your purpose in life.

This way you get a life coach that is well trained and versed in the area of your life you want to improve and that goes a long way in solving the problem.

Since you need a life coach that can help you get over your spouse's infidelity, you should get a relationship coach. They are well versed in relationship issues and have a lot of experience dealing with cases like yours.

So they would be able to give you not only theoretical solutions but practical ones too.

2. They can relate to your age group

This does not necessarily mean the life coach has to be of the same age group as you before they can be right for you. It is just that, times have changed and the things that worked for relationships then, do not really apply anymore and when a life coach gives you an advice or solution that is outdated, it would be like pouring water into a basket. It just would not work.

So before hiring a life coach, you need to make sure you both are on the same page and they can relate with this age. They do not necessarily have to be young (if you are young) because there are still lots of mature life coaches who can relate to young people better than their age mates.

Why you need them to relate to this millennium is so that they can understand where you are coming from and give you practical approaches that would help you heal.

3. They should be easy to reach

Dealing with a cheating spouse can be tough; you can find yourself in need of a little pep talk at odd times. This is why you should get a life coach that is easy to reach and ready to help you whenever you need it.

You can get a life coach that lives close by that you can easily drop by to see but would it not be great if you got one that can take your calls or video chat with you whenever you need help.

This is why you should hire a coach that does not only relate to this age but easy to reach whenever they are needed.

4. They should be within your budget

The fact that you are going through a rough time emotionally does not mean your finances should also go through one. If you hire a life coach that is way above your budget, a wayward spouse might just be the smallest of your problems.

The fact that you need a life coach to help you heal does not mean you should not put it on a budget you can afford.

If you go way overboard trying to hire a life coach, when you are healed you would start looking for another coach to help you get through your financial choices.

Besides you are looking for the right life coach not the most expensive life coach and the right life coach for you should definitely be within whatever budget you can afford at the moment.


Helping you heal is one thing, you deciding to be healed is another. But it would be a good idea to hire a life coach after your partner lets you down because it would up your chances of healing and moving on with life. If you follow the tips and hire the right life coach to help you, you would have a good chance of healing fine.

Author's Bio: 

C Mellie Smith knows first hand the pain of betrayal. At InfidelityHealing.com her mission is to help individuals heal from the trauma of infidelity. Click here to get the help you so desperately need to cope.