The State of Masculinity Now: A GQ Survey

To find out how perceptions and behaviors are shifting, we polled 1,005 Americans who identify as male, female, or gender nonbinary, asking them some pretty wide-ranging questions about what they see and how they feel.
artistic design of pie charts


The November issue of GQ, devoted to interrogating what “masculinity” means today, grew from our sense that expectations for men are rapidly changing. But we wanted to know if the rest of America agreed—and, if so, how people across the country were responding to all sorts of new opportunities and pressures. Our survey of 1,005 men and women revealed that, while many feel at home in the shifting landscape of gender norms—48 percent of men and 43 percent of women described themselves as comfortable with the changes of the past decade—a significant share of men (27 percent) feel the opposite. Those conflicting answers set the stage for responses that offer plenty of cause for optimism about where we’re headed, even as they also identify areas where progress is alarmingly slow.

When it comes to the way they present themselves in public, many men who responded in the survey made clear that they still seem governed by traditional standards of male behavior. They’re less comfortable crying in front of other people than women are, even at happy occasions like weddings. This adherence to old-school social norms isn’t only a reaction to external expectations; it also rears its head in the form of pernicious prejudices about what gender expression should look like. Men are significantly more likely than women to say that they feel uncomfortable at the sight of a gay couple kissing (50 percent vs. 33 percent), and less likely to address a transgender or nonbinary person using their correct pronouns.

The more hopeful responses that popped up in the survey concerned attitudes and centered on home life and on close personal relationships. The vast majority of men (78 percent) said that they thought fathers should take on equal responsibility for childcare. Men were as comfortable as women doing chores around the house, and nearly as likely to value long-term, stable romantic relationships. (Although, even men’s most egalitarian impulses seem to have limits in practice: While 42 percent of women rated the well-being of their children and families among their chief concerns, only 25 percent of men did the same.)

While both men and women who responded to our survey still defined the word “masculinity” in traditional terms—associating it with words like “strong” and “tough”—the adjectives that most men hoped their friends would use to describe them—“confident,” “responsible,” “respectful,” “honest”—painted a softer picture. So did the traits that men hoped to bring to their romantic relationships, a list topped by “compassion” and “kindness.” All in all, the survey suggests that we’d have a lot to feel hopeful about if more men could extend their most closely held values outward, projecting compassion and respect for others in the public sphere as well as the private one.

42% of men and women say they haven’t talked about “masculinity.”

Which of the following words do you associate with “masculinity”?

A. Vulnerable
Men: 7%; Women 7%


B. Dominant
Men: 38%; Women: 52%

12% of men have had a sexual encounter with a person of the same gender.
59% of men consider themselves completely masculine.
40% of men consider themselves masculine with at least some feminine traits.

Percentage of men who say they worry about clothing and personal style on a daily basis:

Ages 16 to 34: 13%

Ages 35 to 64: 1%

Money is the thing that men and women both say they worry about most. Percentage of respondents who say they worry about it on a daily basis:

Women: 60%

Men: 46%

44% of men have gotten in a physical fight.

Since the #MeToo movement,

of men say they feel less confident in the workplace.

of men say they feel more confident in the workplace.


Men: 14%; Women: 13%

Men: 52%; Women: 67%

Men: 20%; Women: 16%

Men: 35%; Women: 49%

43% of men have bought tampons for a female friend or partner.

“Men should take on just as much responsibility in raising children as women do.”

79% of men agree

88% of women agree

“Men have more advantages at work.”

of men agree

of women agree

Percentage of men who've heard the term “toxic masculinity.”

Ages 16 to 34: 52%

Ages 35 to 64: 31%

Of those who've heard the term, 8% say they've exhibited it.

Of those who've heard the term “toxic masculinity,” percentage of respondents who say they've witnessed it in the workplace.



GQ's Survey of Attitudes on Masculinity was administered in August 2019 and posed a series of multiple choice and write-in questions to 1,005 Americans.


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