Maybe We Should All Be Flashlights

Monday, May 08, 2017

I never understood why people sometimes say "I feel humbled," when they receive an honor or are asked to give a speech. It never made any sense to me. Why would anyone feel humbled when given a position of HONOR? If anything they would feel the opposite of humble!

I never understood it. Until the other night, when I was having dinner with my kidney sister, Orly, at her 40th birthday party. We were discussing why I don't really talk a lot about my kidney donation anymore.

I was telling her how I'm trying to get back into blogging, writing, and speaking, because I realize that my passion is to inspire and spread beauty, and no matter what is going on in our lives, if we have a light to shine, we should not sit around waiting for things to change, we should just shine that flashlight right in this moment.

Dress by Fuchsia

And if anyone understands this, it's Orly. She has been in and out of doctors' offices, and going for tests since she was 11 years old! She knows that there is no better time to be happy and LIVE than in the the present...for who knows what tomorrow will bring.

During our conversation, she asked me, "If that's the case, why don't you talk about your kidney donation more?"

And the sad answer is because I allowed ONE random person that I don't even know to shut me down.

I actually, only began my foray into public speaking after the kidney donation. Like many, public speaking was a topic of fear to me, probably second only after falling off a cliff, or watching someone I love fall off a cliff (or something like that). But I did it because I was told how important it was to spread awareness for a relatively unknown topic that could literally save lots of people from suffering and even death. And I used my social media platform to share my experience as well.

But then one day, I received a disturbing message on Instagram stating what a horrible person I was for "using" my chesed to further my own fame; that when she grew up she was told chesed should be done privately and not "bragged" about; and that the "poor" girl who received my kidney must be so embarrassed and upset that I'm "using" her. (Of course, Orly wanted me to use my platform to help others!)

I was so shocked and distressed by that comment, that I stopped talking about it. I stopped connecting myself with other kidney donors. I even did not allow myself to get too close to Orly, because I was uncomfortable with all of her gratitude. I just pretended it never happened.

But I was WRONG.

As Jews, we are taught that the most important character trait we can have is humility. Yet somehow the most humble person ever, Moshe Rabbeinu, was also our greatest Jewish leader. Our most dynamic and respected leaders up to this day do not get there from being pompous, arrogant, and full of themselves. Yet they become our beloved leaders. So how do we reconcile this?

Well, maybe our definition of "humble" is not the Torah's definition.

You see, humility is of course, NOT being pompous and arrogant, but it is also NOT keeping quiet when you have important information to be shared, or hiding in a corner so others won't be blinded, jealous, or offended by your light. It's knowing that Hashem chose you to be here for a purpose, and that you need to shine your light, even if you don't feel like you are worthy enough, because you are.

And that's just it. Humility is knowing that although you are no better and no worse than the next guy, your worthiness and purpose are still HUGE...that Hashem has given you certain gifts, and you are required to use them to better the world. And you may feel extremely uncomfortable with that job, but you MUST do what your are here to do. And that my friends, is what it means to feel humbled.

So for the last few years, I wasn't being humble, I was being bullied. And I may have missed lots of opportunities to help others, because of one nasty comment.*

We are currently living in extremely dark times. The world is full of ignorance and hate, and we are all emotionally, spiritually, and physically sick, tired, and losing our children more rapidly than ever. We need all the light we can get!

Everyone has a flashlight they can shine on the world. Each person's flashlight may be different, and by itself may seem insignificant or dim, but imagine if we all decided to turn on our flashlights together and really shine??

Hashem chose me to be Orly's kidney donor, probably before I was even born. (Read my entire kidney donation experience HERE and HERE.) He gave me the great z'chus to be the container that held Orly's kidney for 43 years, and then led me down the path of handing it over to her. And what a z'chus it has been! Because anyone who knows Orly, knows she's a true tzadeket, and I got to be the one to carry her kidney! So who's the lucky one?

But, I now know what my flashlight is, and I must join in with all of the others who understand that it's not humility to be shy or "fake humble".  It's our job to shine our lights, and yes, it's a little's...humbling.

Read my full kidney donation story HERE and HERE.

For more information on kidney donation, contact Renewal or email me at

Follow me on Instagram for upcoming insta-lives on this topic and more!

Please leave your comments below, I love hearing from you :)

With loads of love,



*Important note: For anyone out there who randomly leaves comments on social media, please know that if you have anything negative to say, DO NOT POST IT. It is bullying and it may cause irreparable damage. If you do not like something you see on social media, unfollow that person, and try to focus on finding fulfillment in you own life. No one is forcing your to follow anyone that offends you, makes you jealous, or brings out negativity in you. This is way more serious than you may think, and the main thing you do by posting negativity, beside for hurting and damaging another person publicly, is making yourself look bad.



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  1. Thank you for sharing this story, as it is both shocking and beautiful. Shocking because our society is so hateful, jealous, and impulsive. Beautiful because provided health to a Tzdakis, no joke, Orly is one of a kind. I have known her almost 9 years, she has treated me the same since the day she met me. Trust me, she has a lot to brag about, but she, like you, are humble and modest. Let your light and inspiration shine-on! Be proud, stand strong, despite others and their inability to be happy for others. May you only continue to inspire others to do more, give more, and grown more!

  2. I was so inspired by your post and I love the real way you shared that amazing journey. I cried because of the pain and confusion about one small comment confusing and shaming.... in our most vulnerable moments. I loved how you shared with me through your words the courage to come back from those places of shut-down to strength, and more ready to give light to others because I guess we all have so much of it!! I really just absolutely loved that and was so inspired.

  3. Your article literally brought tears to my eyes!!! You teach us on a daily basis that we matter and we have to always look at our positives and others too. I can always learn at least 1 thing, if not more, about myself from your posts and stories. I hope the person who made the comment to you can look past her low self asteem and learn something from you, she would be so much happier. Keep doing what your doing, we love you!!! So glad you changed your mind.

  4. Shine shine shine away!! I, for one, have never met you, but found you somehow on instagram and I absolutely love your inspiring posts and pictures!! I can relate with so much of what you said! Love & Light!! ❤

  5. You inspire me so much!! I know first hand what the benefits of donating a kidney means!! I have a family member that just received a kidney and he is forever grateful for his new lease on life!! Keep on doing what you're doing and don't let anyone ever talk to u like that!! Ur amazing!! Kol hakavod!!!

  6. Keep it up. We (the kidney donors) need to spread the word. At the Renewal Shabbaton this winter it was eye opening to find that so many donors are being quiet. Lets get the word out that you will, literally, save someone's life. Rabbi Sytner's book was revealing to me that donors, like you, have this great relationship with their recipient. I am coming up on 2 years and continue to speak out when I can. Hatzlocha !

  7. Sharon, your kidney donation was what drew me to follow you in the first place. It was crystal clear evidence that you are just as beautiful on the inside as on the outside and there's more to your inspiring beauty than just pretty clothes. Glad you spoke out about this now.

  8. What a brave and beautiful thing to donate a kidney. For the same reason that organizations, both Jewish and secular, post lists of donors to their organizations with dollar amounts and names publicizing and speaking about such a wonderful chesed is to be commended. Encouraging others to follow your brave path is just one more way to save more lives through kidney donation. Applause to you!