Men Who Check the Stock App.




Men Who Don’t Jizz Pizza (Or At Least Money).

There aren’t a lot of things “men” can do, but what they should be able to is jizz pizza. Especially when handling their own ability to cum as opposed to concerning themselves with yours. The least they should be willing to provide is a delicious sampling of your favorite food in exchange for the pleasure they received, but that you did not.

Sweet sensation

Sweet sensation

And if that’s not attainable, then maybe a few alms could at least shoot from his opening so that you have money for the subway back to your hovel, where you’ll wonder why you wasted the remaining fly years your body has left on a “man” who couldn’t give you delight in even the simplest of ways. Not even a “Wow Mandy, your nude husk looks really great and I definitely appreciate the way it looks now versus how it’s going to look long after I’ve thrown you over for someone younger.” Yes, pizza and money jism would be the least he could offer.


Men Who Are Cheap.

In spite of the fact that there are more women in the workforce than “men” right now, it is still an abominable reality that they are paid less. To make matters more unjust, the tendency “men” have toward cheapness is another irksome detail women must deal with when going out with or dating them.

Hoard your money, never get laid

Hoard your money, never get laid

“Men,” who are content to eat slop, will pay $5 on a shitty Oasis falafel over paying, say, $15 for pizza from Fornino (as we all know, pizza encompasses far more nutritional food groups). They will also wear the same plaid shirt they’ve had since junior high as opposed to spending money on something stylish from Rick Owens. Though, of course, they don’t mind accepting lavish gifts of such a nature–they lap up luxury so long as they don’t have to pay for it. The truth is, a “man” cheap in wallet is a “man” cheap in soul. It’s not about being poor. It’s about having money and being stingy with it–hoarding it like goddamn Mr. Burns (you know he’s missing a dick on his yellow groin area). Ponder this next time you take your woman du jour to Vanessa’s.