Thursday, April 16, 2009

Crime & PUNishment

Based on an actual conversation I had this morning.
PHOENIX is on his way to the laundry room, wearing a t-shirt that says "Ursines excrete solid waste in silviculture", and he runs into STEVE. STEVE reads PHOENIX's shirt, and starts a conversation.
STEVE: Did you hear about the Energizer Bunny?

PHOENIX: That he got arrested for battery? Yeah, I heard.

S: It was really shocking to him when the coppertop arrested him.

P: *groan*

S: They even had to put him in a Dura-Cell for a while, because he was too energetic.

P: Ouch.

S: Yeah, and all they could find for him to wear were some shorts. He tried to meditate to regain his composure (Ohmmmm...) but there was just too much resistance - he couldn't get through.

P: *wince*

S: But he'll be discharged in a couple of weeks.

P: Oh yeah?

S: They ran a battery of tests on him and found he was bi-polar. They put him on lithium, and that rectified the situation.

P: Well, that lithium is powerful stuff.

1 comment:

  1. There were even more puns, but I couldn't remember them all. By the time I got back to my apartment, I had already started to block it out...