Tuesday, April 8, 2014

The photos

I have given many different gifts in my lifetime. But the best gift that I ever gave to anybody were the photos that I gave to my father-in-law.

He was staring at the photos, watching them carefully and kept saying: "This is incredible. This is incredible. I never thought I will see the grave of my brother."  He was deeply touched. And happy to see the photos. And sad when he thought of the brother he lost 70 years ago.

I had to explain how I got the photos. And I told him that I have a friend in southern France that has a friend in Normandy who took the photos. He said to tell thank you to both of them.

My father-in-law is a quiet man, he doesn't talk much. But just before I posted the first post he told me a story (not even his son =my DH  knew it). 10 years ago he went with his wife to organized excursion with a tourist agency for couple of days in Normandy. In the program there was also a visit of the graveyard of American soldiers. He asked if it is possible to visit also a German graveyard, because he has a brother there. And he was promised that it was possible.

But when they were in Normandy, some of the passangers refused to visit the German graveyard. So my father-in-law could not visit the graveyard, although he was only few kilometers away.

When my father-in-law told me this story, I was deeply saddend. How could be the people on the bus so selfish and unforgiving? How could they not understand that it was not his brother's choice to join the German army? It was war. Our country was occupied by Germany (the large part of it). So - his brother did not have any choice.

And that's why I am even more grateful - that there is a kind hearted Irouwen from France, who visited the German graveyard and took the photos.

My father-in-law has terminal cancer, it was discovered only two weeks ago.  So that's why those photos mean even more to me. And to him.


  1. I'm so sorry to hear the news of your FIL. And again so thrilled that the great good of the internet outweighs the bad.

    I'm sorry that his bus passengers didn't understand. It is hard. When DH and I visited Gallipoli (a site where many NZers lost their lives in WWII), we made a point of visiting the NZ, the Australian, AND the Turkish graveyards. And in fact, now the NZers, Australians, and Turks (who were on the other side) always hold commemorations together to mark the worst days. There is forgiveness on both sides. And yet, I remember going to Kanchanaburi in Thailand, where the Bridge over the River Kwai is located, and where the Japanese made Allied soldiers build the notorious Death Railway. We took my father, who looked at all the Japanese tourists and was puzzled why and even how they would visit. But I thought it was good that they visited, because they were learning their history, and learning, and remembering, is always important.

  2. I'm so sorry about your FIL, but very very touched to hear that he got to see the photos of his brother's grave. My heart broke when I read about how the other people didn't want to go to the other grave despite the fact it was only a few kms away. :-(

  3. dear Mali & dear Amel,
    thank you for your kind comments.

  4. I read this and saw the photos was trying to find the right words to describe how wonderful and significant your gift is. Your love and dedication to your FIL is beyond words. Having been fortunate enough to meet this man,I can fully appreciate how deeply touched he was to receive your photographs. You are so remarkably ingenuous in finding the connections to make these photos happen. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. xo

  5. What a lovely -- and sad -- story. Old wounds run deep, but forgiveness, when it comes, is a wonderful thing, So glad you were able to do this for your FIL.