Five Years

It’s been five years now. In this time I’ve done so much, gone through so much, experienced so many new things, met so many new people, been disappointed so many times, been elated so many times, smiled and laughed so many times, cried and despaired so many times, learned so much, forgotten so much…
And all without you there.

Five years is almost a quarter of my lifetime. How awful is that? There are so many conversations that we haven’t been able to have. Growing up, at some point I began to find it difficult to know what you would say or how you would respond to certain situations because we’d never spoken about such things before. But I try my best to imagine what you would have said, because your voice will forever be a part of my life.

Five years. That’s way too long.

5 thoughts on “Five Years

  1. Are you talking about a specific someone or the certain someone you have yet to meet? Either way, yeah, five years is a long time. On the other hand, it may be a quarter of your life right now, but in the long run it’s less than 10 percent of the whole ball game. 🙂

  2. Deb Hanrahan says:

    This is beautiful and heart-felt. I assume your talking about someone you have lost. It is hard to lose a loved one, but with each passing hour, day, month, year life becomes more bearable. It has been 22 years for me.

  3. Erin M says:

    Thank you for sharing this, Ilana. I had sort of wondered.

    I know things can never get entirely better, but still, I hope they’re getting easier.

    Love you and thinking of you.

  4. Mckenzie says:

    This made me tear up. I can’t even imagine. I know you don’t believe necessarily in such things, but I do believe that he’s still with you, my friend. I think he’s with you more than you realize. Love you.

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