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Ways to Ask Her Out

Updated on March 8, 2016
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Andrea is a freelance writer. She writes on topics from interior design, relationships, ghosts, to anything creative. Contact her for work.

Asking Someone Out

If you're needing some ideas on how to ask someone out, you've come to the right place!

Asking someone out can be nerve wrecking. It can take a lot of courage to ask someone out that you've been eyeing for a long time. But relax, take a deep breath -- we all have to put ourselves out there sometime or another. When you ask someone out, you want to look for a good opportunity to do so. Just jumping in there and asking someone out randomly without feeling the situation could end up disastrous. Try developing a friendship or spending time around them before asking them on a date. This may help you to figure out if there is a good connection. A lot of people will hang out before dating and making it more formal. If you're trying to figure out how to get someone to hang out with you one on one, try inviting them to something simple. If you go too big, you might make them think you're too intense. Look for common interests, places you both frequent, or even flat out tell them you'd like to get to know them better over coffee. Most likely if you've been getting along friendly, they probably won't decline a friendly outing.

Don't force a date too much. People are trying to get to know you comfortably. Ask questions, make sure they're not seeing someone else, and try to talk to them comfortably. These things often come up naturally, and a lot of times you don't have to say "will you go out with me?" Those words might work back in high school, but when you're out of the high school scene, you don't have to be so formal about getting someone to hang with you.

1. Ask her out. Just dive in and say the words. You've been thinking it forever and she is staring at you.

2. Give her an offer she can't refuse. If she loves a certain movie and you know she's dying to see it -- invite her to go with you. Offer to pay too.

3. Write her a note about how you'd like to spend time with her. Leave it at her desk. Send it to her via mail. Sometimes this method is risky. You may want to write other notes before a confession note. Passing notes was more common before texting, where it's pretty easy to ask someone to spend time with you.

4. If a big event is coming, like a dance, tell her you think she's a good dancer and you'd like her to be your date. A compliment with a date is a good method.

5. Ask her to study with you on something. Be serious about studying, so she doesn't see through you.

6. Invite her to practice something with you -- learning a language, practicing music, and learning a sport. You can take community classes to spend time together like an art class at the art museum.

7. Invite her to play a game with you. Say you've been dying to play it and haven't found someone to play it yet.

8. Tell her you need help with something you know she can do. This will make her feel like she's of use to you. This is a good way to be in her company with very little effort.

9. Spend time when you can making impressions on her. If you only see her once a week, make sure to talk to her. If you can try to bring in some element of touch whether squeezing her shoulder, giving her a hug, or high fives.

10. Try bringing her simple things she likes -- maybe flowers, chocolate, jewelry. Maybe dragon statues?

11. Go all in. Invite her to go to Europe with you. Pay for her. No charges for her. She'll cave if she's known you for awhile. I mean, free trip to Europe? Awesome.

12. Ask her to try a brand new restaurant with you. You've been dying to check it out. Everyone is raving about it... and it's just around the corner.

13. Ask her to do something creative with you. Like painting, writing, working on a song together. Lots of girls like to do creative things -- and projects help take the nerves out of the situation.

14. Look for free community events that will come off romantic -- ice skating, horseback riding, parasailing, and riding a hot air balloon.

15. Listen to her. There's probably something that she's never done, but would like to experience. Tell her that you'd be willing to try it with her. If she mentions something she's wanted but hasn't gotten for herself -- go find it and bring it back to her.

16. If there's a musical show coming into town buy tickets. Say you have an extra ticket that you're trying to get off your hands. Even better if it's a ticket to something she likes.

17. Find out what sport teams she likes, learn about it, and take her to an event. Know the players' names, the way the game works, and be willing to buy some food.

18. Be willing to offer your skills. Garden, repair her car, or other maintenance. Say you'll do it in return for dinner, if it seems like the right thing to say. See if there is anything she might need help with. Don't just force your way into a situation, be cool about it.

19. Buy a journal. Draw amazing pictures in it. Give it to her with a message asking her out. Try writing an entire story in the journal with lots of cool doodles. Make it really sweet and charming, that way she falls in love with you while going through it.

20. Write a song about her. Serenade her. Do this privately and not in the middle of school or anything. Sometimes girls really like guys, but if they embarrass her, she could run away... forever.

21. Give her jewelry with a message about why you like her.

22. Buy billboard space. Post a message on it. About her.

23. Make her a cake. Leave a card with it saying how you like her. Hopefully, you are good at making cakes.

24. Spell out a love note in a creative way. Like with seashells. You can bet no one has ever asked her out with seashells. She'll always remember it. Isn't that half the battle?

25. Make a video asking her out.

26. Draw a picture of her. A nice picture of her. If you're talented. And give it to her. Whatever talents you have, offer those when you try to win her over to your heart.

27. Hold a puppy in your hand. Ask her out now. Who can deny a puppy? She says no? Have a kitten ready in your other hand. Now ask her out. She'll be overcome with cuteness.

28. Dress up nice and randomly go to her house with roses. Have one fake rose, and say that you'll love her until the last one loses it's color.

29. Write a whole bunch of reasons why you like her on cards. Put those cards in envelopes. Put all of it in a box. Put the box in a suitcase. Leave it at her house... this might scare her. Don't do this. ;)

30. Make a fake book cover design asking her out.

31. Find her on social media and add her. Like things and then message her. If it continues the conversation, you are in luck.

32. Ask her friends if she likes you and what would be best to do. Friends are great at exposing the little details that you don't know. They'll give you the dirty on the person.

What is the best way to ask someone out?

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Things You Shouldn't Do

33. Give her a hug. Don't release her until she accepts a date with you.

34. Walk up to her and ask her out when she's taking to another guy.

35. Cut off other guys who are clearly headed toward walking to her. Growling at those guys. Throwing things at them.

36. Keeping strands of her hair and saving it to make a dummy of her.

37. Ask her out when she's had a bad day and is crying. Don't ask her out when she's clearly stressed.

38. Don't start wearing the same clothes as her.

39. Never sit on top of a girl and ask her out.

40. No farting, burping, or vomiting.

41. Invite her over to meet your wife or girlfriend.

42. Don't just walk up to a girl you don't know and kiss her.

43. Don't buy a horse and try to give it to her.

44. Don't stand too close to her. Give her space.

45. Don't be following her and smelling her hair the whole time.

46. Don't talk only about yourself then ask her out.

47. Don't go on and on about what you want to do to her. If she says no, stop telling her in intimate detail what you fantasize about her.

48. Don't invite her out for awkward time frames... like 1:00 in the morning? Why?

49. Don't forget to take showers.

50. Don't constantly compare her to someone else you like. Don't compare her to your past girlfriend.

51. Don't be constantly on your cellphone while talking to her.

52. Don't be incessantly mean to her as a way to trick her into dating you. It doesn't work.

53. Don't write her a long paper that you didn't read over and is full of grammar errors.

54. Don't forget to have the date.

55. Don't tell her you think her boyfriend is an idiot and that you're way better.

56. Don't take her to bad dates -- the post office, a gas station, and a car insurance place.

57. Don't shove, kick, or bite her.

58. Don't only stare into her eyes.

59. Don't smoke pot then try to ask her out.

60. Don't call her princess bubblebutt.

61. Don't kill her dog.

62. Don't complain about buying things for her.

63. Don't shave her head without asking.

64. Don't repaint her house for her without asking.

65. Don't call her demeaning words as pet names.

66. Don't light her house on fire.

67. Don't pee while you're talking to her.

68. Don't stare at another girl while you're talking to her.

69. Don't go on about the following till she knows you better and you know her interests: sports, Dungeons and Dragons, computer programming, bodily functions, your action figure collection, drugs, your sock collection, your stamp collection, your Hollywood crushes, some really deep emotional moment that happened in your life that haunts you, your ex-girlfriend, your ex-boyfriend, your hygiene routine, your need to wear socks with sandals, your bug collection, boogers, your mom's body, your trip to Vegas, your trip to Amsterdam, the women you liked better than her.

70. Don't yell at her.

71. Don't tell if she doesn't date you, she'll regret it and you're now going to destroy her life.

72. Don't preach your manhood to her.

73. Don't dominate her with how much greater you are because you're a guy.

74. Don't tell her that men are smarter than women.

75. Don't tell her to go make a sandwich and that women belong in the kitchen.

76. Don't tell her she's fat.

77. Don't tell her she's second class because she's a woman.

78. Don't suddenly forget about her and then only play video games.

79. Don't lock her up in your closet and leave her there.

80. Don't leave the toilet seat up.

81. Don't tell her to eat her vegetables.

82. Don't tell her cheesy puns.

83. Don't go on about how nice guys finish last.

84. Don't offer to shave her head.

85. Don't complain that she's not a dude.

86. Don't only let her be affectionate toward you and then withhold from her.

87. Don't make fun of her.

88. Don't act like she's subpar because her job pays less.

89. Don't tell her that you're her new dad.

90. Don't tell her you'd like to pick off her scabs and eat them.

91. Don't tell her that women are stupid because they like things to be clean.

92. Don't tell her she's probably a lesbian and that's why she isn't into you.

93. Don't tell her that her sister is hotter.

94. Don't suggest changing things up in the bedroom by adding people. And require it of her.

95. Don't make fun of her grammar and constantly point out how she screws up words.

96. Don't avoid having conversations with her.

97. Don't leave your trash in her car.

98. Don't call her "mommy"

99. Don't ask her if you can borrow one of her dresses.

100. Don't tell her she's turned you 100% gay.


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    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 

      5 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      Some good ideas and suggestions here.


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