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Thursday, June 25, 2015

Lots of Fun But Where's the Lightning?

Day 10 - Wednesday - part 2

I had an interesting (to me) goal in mind, but first I kind of got involved in some multiplay at Luxor and actually did get parlayed enough that I was playing 10-play. It's so exciting to be doing that, because that's when you really have an opportunity for lightning to strike and deal you a trip-changing hand.
"I don't like your attitude." "Well, I don't like YOUR attitude." "Fuck off, dog nose."
Example - dealt Royal on 10-play = $10,000.

Instead of the dealt Royal, though, I got hands that were just as rare, but for some reason are not valued by the designers of video poker. For example, 2, 5, 9, 4, 7, rainbow. Do you ever think about the fact that some steaming lump of cow dung hand you've just been dealt that pays nothing is just as rare as a Royal?

Yes, every hand is special, and most of them don't pay jack squat.

I was dealt three of a kind twice on 10-play but managed to get only one quad out of it. Lost $60 and did $1200 coin in. Lots of fun, but where's the lightning?

I tried a few other things at Luxor such as some of the very old Luxor themed slots. These babies were there when we went in 1995.
More like Luxor Bitches.
I didn't win shit on them though.

This is where the gourmet room used to be. It was called Isis and I never ate there. (I wonder what's up there now? Maybe The Bucket can find out...)

For some reason, I was getting hungry, so I thought, might as well have Second Breakfast at the Pyramid Cafe. The PC was once open 24 hours with a full menu from breakfasts to all the usual coffee shop comfort foods including full-on steak and filet mignon entrees, seafood and so on.

With the conversion of Luxor into a 20-somethings barracks, for some reason, there is no call for food somehow, so PC is only open in the morning until two-ish or so. Ridiculous.
Pyramid Cafe at Luxor
I had an efficient waiter and ordered the Eggs Tits, which arrived very quickly.
The Pyramid Cafe's famed Eggs Tits.

Jeez, don't blame me, that's what they are really called! You take two hot English muffins as a base, add a slice each of split thigh (or 'peameal bacon') and add two Grade C cup eggs, poached hard and firm. Then you drench them with C.T.U.G.

It's a great idea and I've never seen anything like them before. I urge you all to rush to the Pyramid Cafe and order, loudly, "EGGS TITS, PLEASE!"

Do you think I'm rude for writing this simple breakfast up in this manner? Well don't look at me, look at what was proud 'n firm on the plate.

It was all delicious, but I had a sad moment when I asked the server about my other server friend from the old days who was off so very sick. I didn't know what to do, really. And I said something like this.

"If you ever have the chance, or know someone who knows her, just tell her that... an old customer cares and wishes her well. I know you aren't ever going to see her but... I just had to talk to someone. I had to tell someone here. It's all I can do."

He handled it well and I was starting to embarrass myself, pretty much starting to cry right there at the table.

Times come and times go, these lives intersect our own in different ways. But I have found that it never hurts to reach out a bit no matter how tenuous the connection, no matter how thin the thread between one life and another life in trouble.

And with my heart aching a bit and my belly full of tits eggs, I set off on the true goal for the day.

I've played The Loose Doose, many times. And as avid readers will recall, the Quad Queen has had the Loose Doose. She's even been dealt it. And Blonde4Ever has had the Loose Doose, sitting right beside me. She's also had it on the now disappeared loosest video poker game ever, the nickel coin-dropper that was upstairs at the D. In fact, she may have been the last person to hit it ever.

What's so great about the Loose Doose? It pays 2500 credits for four Doose instead of 1000. Other hands are shorted but that 2500 is sweet, and there are two quarter machines at Mandible Bay that have decent paytables.

I quested my way through the Mallway between Lux-whore and Mandible Bay (and sadly, on the way, saw a guy laid out on the hard marble floor, out conscious, neck injury, surrounded by EMTs - hope you are ok, guy) and made my way to MB.

First, I warmed up with some triple play, and lost my arse.

Then, I went looking....

It took some doing but I found the first of the Doose machines and started playing. I'd tried to find these machines previously, but had failed. But there was machine number 1 of the Loose Doose!

Unfortunately it had a 20 billion candle-power 30 foot high 150 decibel penny machine on the row just behind it, and the flashes and screaming baby effects and sirens and smoke from the penny machine were giving me an anvil headache. I had played maybe 20 minutes (and lost a few 20s) when I couldn't take it any more. Fortunately, I quickly found the other machine on the other side of the bank, and it was available.

I played for a long, long time. The machine was doing great. It kept playing and playing. Wonderful. I stayed between $100 and $120 for about an hour.

I got a wild Royal, which was very nice indeed.

I got another wild Royal, which was also very nice indeed and kept me in the going.

A couple of times I was dealt three deuces (or Doose), held my breath, plugged my nose, grabbed my eggs and drew - but where was the fourth lucky Doose???

Not there.

Out of the blue, I let out a huge sneeze. A fella playing next to me said, "Bless you..."

I said, "Don't bless me, bless the machine!!!"

I had been playing for about 2 hours and was getting the VP Upright Crotchrot Shoulder Syndrome, which is very painful.

We savvy players know to play through the pain though.

And then... and then....

I was dealt three Doose and pulled number four.

I have achieved the Loose Doose!!!
Finally, finally, finally!!!! My very first ever Loose Doose!!! And, my biggest win of the trip!

I played to an even level, I can't remember what, but I kept almost all of this wonderful jackpot.

Man that felt great. Mission accomplished, a great fun session, and my wallet was more than re-loaded for whatever the rest of the day held.


    1. "In fact, she may have been the last person to hit it ever."

      Gee...that never occurred to me!
      Congrats on FINALLY getting your own DOOSES!!!!

    2. Nice win. Sorry about the server.

    3. Is it me, or is Dog Statue on the right very well hung. Must be a Cocker Spaniel.

      Nice doose hit.

      1. I am disappointed I didn't pick up on that. Maybe a Goldong Retriever.

    4. So glad to see that for such a heavily experienced and slightly jaded fella, that you had a nice 'first ever' experience like these great Deuces. Looks like blessing YOU actually worked, eh?

    5. Wow! Congrats on the Doose ~ haven't seen those in a long time!


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