Friday, April 20, 2012

Sometimes when I start crying I find it hard to stop….

Lately it feels as if someone opened the crying flood gate and I’ve had a hard time getting it to close shut.

I received an e-mail from my realtor stating that my house was closing escrow, I should have been elated but instead I started crying. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why, I put the house for sale because it was time to move on. Maybe it was the finality of it, or maybe I had just pent up the damn for too long.

I had barely gotten unpacked in the new place when I started hearing news from friends about losses they were dealing with. The worst kind of loss you can have; losing a loved one. I couldn’t believe it when I got a message from a friend whose Mom was terminally ill, she wasn’t even sick from what I knew. Another was getting ready to say good-bye to her Dad. Then another, I couldn’t stop crying and I realized I needed to help them even if it was in the smallest way. I thought to myself the reason it is so painful when we lose someone is because we have invested a huge part of ourselves in him or her.

In that moment I also realized I had invested part of me in that house and it was probably why I was sad.

I decided I needed to turn those sad feelings around and put them where they belonged; in the house of gratitude. I’ve been busy baking some cookies for those friends that needed a hug.

I've dried my tears and I hope my friends don’t have to cry for long either. 

Sometimes crying and healing go hand in hand – just like friendships.

Hopefully next week I’ll be able to share a recipe with you.  I cook all the time, sometimes though I just can’t find the time to write them down for you.

Some things you may want to keep in mind: When you are channeling your inner Jacques Pepin, just remember he is a pro for a reason and those fish scales are darn hard to get off the ceiling.

Sometimes soup makes everything feel better.

Did I forget to mention that I'm feeling puffy, have a moody teenager (wouldn't wish one of those on anyone) and well I just really need a glass of wine. Someone please pour this lady a drink! 

Hugs to all that need them,



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  2. You are such a great friend and the people in your life are lucky to have you. We need a brunch date because well, you can't cry when stuffing your face full of coffee and pastries! Hang in there friend!

  3. Life has so many challenges. If we're lucky, we don't have them until we are old enough to cope. Moving on is a wonderful thing - but it is complicated. Gina - I cried when my parents sold the home I had my teen years in - and I didn't even like those years! Go figure. Soup helps.

  4. Gina,
    When I got divorced, I had to sell my house that I had lived in for 20 yrs, and it was a grieving process for sure and a definite loss. Time heals all things.
    You need to let out those emotions, and start the healing process, and for you it might be cooking and baking. like it is for me.

    Sending you hugs and love!

    1. and Oh yes, a glass of wine doesn't hurt either:)

  5. Sigh...changes are always so hard! Even if it's all good things...closing the door can be hard! If you were closer, I'd definitely share a bottle of wine with you...and try to say some funny things to make you laugh. Be good to yourself...

  6. I'll join you in that drink!! Hang in there my friend... I remember crying when I sold my car. Silly, isn't it? I had a shiny new one, but that car was the first car I had ever bought and I really loved it. And yes... I cried when I left my house in Louisville, even thought I really didn't like Louisville. I think we all become attached, and change is sometimes tough. On top of that the emotions of losing people, so much more difficult than mere "things", is simply overwhelming. It makes us all vulnerable, doesn't it?
    Hugs to you Gina... I raise my glass to you! Though you would most likely not want to share my wine tonight... it's not a very good one. XO

  7. Gina, I'm so sorry for all that's been making you cry. Time and time again you've shown what a caring person you are. This is a really beautiful post. Yes, tears can be beautiful. Hang in there sweetheart, things always get better.

    As for buying you a drink, you don't know how I wish we didn't live an ocean apart. I'd buy you a whole bottle:) Hugs & much love:)

  8. Aww, Gina, too much happening all at once will do that to anyone, no matter how strong. I'm glad you got back into the kitchen to cook and bake--that makes me happy, too (as does a good walk or a bike ride). If only you lived closer, I'd make sure your wine glass was full. :) Virtual cheers to you, lady!

  9. Sending love and hugs. I will never quite understand how things came about the way they have 2x, but your strength amazes me. <3

  10. Sending a virtual hug and a tissue to blow your nose on. The tears help to release all the stress you've been holding in so let it go. You'll stop when it's time. Take care of yourself.

  11. Thanks everyone you have really cheered me up. Azmina I can't wait to take you up on that offer. I'll be in the kitchen today cooking for my sister-in-law's b-day wishing you all could stop by.

  12. Here's a virtual glass of your favorite wine! Things run in waves and when it rains it pours. The good news is that it will pass and things will get better. The good cry probably helped to let it out. Cooking and baking are always great therapy! Hang in there!!! Lisa

  13. I know what you mean, 2011 was a year of people passing for me. Some very close, family and some just either people I knew or even our awesome close neighbors. It just made me feel like nobody on this planet is indispensable and that freaks me out a bit. We should all look forward to tomorrow :)
    Take care...

  14. Oh sweetie, I am sorry you are feeling blue about your house. But yes it makes sense, you invested so much...and it does not mean you are not moving forward!
    Soup does make so many things better...but wine, much better :)

  15. Hi Gina! How're you feeling? I hope all is well back home for you. While reading your post, I wish I could give you a huge HUG and send you of my treats for some love. Provided you are not going to bash me up for some extra calories ;P. But at times like that, you are right! Having good friends to sit around food, or have a bowl of soup sure makes all things better, but..but with dessert, that is even better. Take care now sweetie.. HUGGSSSSS

  16. My dear Gina; you are really going through a terrible time. I remember when we sold our house where we raised our boys for almost 40 years. I was so happy to be moving to town but I was so sad at the same time.
    I have to tell you, when things worry me or get me down, cooking is my go to place. Just looking for a recipe and start cooking makes me forget.
    Sending you a hug from Canada.

  17. When I was a child I couldn't understand why my Mom sometimes cried at movies. Now, I sometimes cry over commercials! Friends in need... well, the hugs are the best. You're a good friend to your loved ones, Gina. I raise my (virtual) glass to yours. Cheers... and hugs.

  18. Sometimes it just seems like everything piles up at once. My heart goes out to your friends who are experiencing such painful loss. I love how cathartic baking and cooking can be. And don't get me started on having teens in the house. My youngest boy turned 13 last now I have four teenagers going through various stages of puberty and emotional roller coasters.

    I hope by the time you read this, things have started to look brighter.

  19. Oh, Gina. I'm sorry I missed your post. I just read your most recent one and I'm so glad you're feeling better. You are such a delight to know I hope your new home brings you as much happiness as the last one did. Having said that, I think you're the kind of person who brings joy with you wherever you go. :)

  20. I forgot to say...I'm getting a lot closer to making macarons and of course, I keep thinking about yours. :)

  21. Oh Gina, I had NO idea you were feeling down :(. I feel like a terrible social networker, not checking my FB, Twitter, blog feed, etc diligently these last few weeks (ok, since Jan 2012)...otherwise, you know I'd be running over here to give you a great big reassuring squeeze! We all get like this sometimes, I'm just so glad and inspired that you turned your tears and sadness into compassion for your friends. Delicious ones too! Take great care, my love <3.

  22. A very bittersweet ending for your home. I wish I saw this post earlier so I can get you a big cyber hug. You are so spunky and sweet I can't imagine those tears. I owe you that hug next time we met!

  23. I am finally catching up on posts, seems like a whirlwind kept me tossed about for a bit there, but reading your post just brought a comfort to me in a way I find difficult to describe with words. Tears are so cleansing. I receive those hugs. oh bella I've said it before and I'll say it again, I simply do not understand why life washes together the way it does sometimes, and quite frankly I know it's none of my business...being given the sterile blueprint would muck up all the art of living, as much as I'd like to see it sometimes. But I do know that HE uses EVERYTHING...every bring us into HIS presence and do something remarkable within us that we never could have anticipated. I can testify to that. And while we live in a fallen world amidst pain and suffering, tasting the bitter sting of death, I find solace that one day EVEN DEATH will pass away. (Rev 21:4)...oh how I long for that day....sending big hugs right back to I wish we could fellowship in person...perhaps someday soon....I think of you so very much more than you know...xo j


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