Toofer's Top 25 Quotes

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1 Toofer Ooh, and get them to pay for my samovar.
2 Toofer 5.
3 Toofer Frank, there are large pockets of African-American culture that Caucasians know nothing about. The stigma of drag is one of them.
4 Toofer Uh-huh. I got a concept for a sketch I think you might like. You and Jenna play Sleestaks from Land of the Lost. And you’re trying to get a small business loan,
5 Toofer Look, I'm not trying to cause any trouble, and I confess, I appreciate what you do for the show. I want to be to my brother, my homeboy, my n--
6 Toofer Okay, he's right. This is funnier.
7 Toofer Was the Air Force like Top Gun?
8 Toofer Uh.. one day.
9 Toofer You will not believe what just happened to me. A guy on the subway just called me a ''biggledeeboo''.
10 Toofer Then why are my paychecks a different color than Frank's?
11 Toofer Liz has invited me back as a budgeted employee. Apparently, I'm the only one among us who can spell.
12 Toofer Okay, fine, fine. Toofer. I'll just go back to Toofer.
13 Toofer So they have all kinds of weird rituals and rules. Like, if someone says ''Twig and Plums'' in front of a member, he has to find an excuse to leave the room, no matter what he's doing.
14 Toofer You know, I went to college in Boston. Well, not in Boston, but nearby. No, not Tufts.
15 Toofer Harvard.
16 Toofer Well here's your article: "Why Does TGS Love Women?"
17 Toofer But my biggest problem with Quidditch is if the snitch is 150 points, why does anyone bother with the quaffle?
18 Toofer Yeah.
19 Toofer Lynn Onkman. Remember her?
20 Toofer Actually I'm off, Liz. With my degree I can always go into architecture or medical nanotechnology...
21 Toofer Sorry, I don't understand. Oh I see. Uh, at Harvard we call them "concentrations."
22 Toofer Hm, thank you. As Tennyson wrote, ''I mete and dole...''
23 Toofer Okay, have a good night, Liz.
24 Toofer You look exactly like Liz.
25 Toofer We have a gentleman's agreement. He gets the jars, and in return, he's agreed to let a Yale sweatshirt be our designated fart dampener.