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Mood swings and depression

If I tell my coworkers I'm going through the change, that's admitting to them and myself that I'm getting OLD!

My mom told me this day would come, when I would start to go through menopause. I haven't had hot flashes yet and I probably wouldn't know it if I did since I frequent a tanning salon and use heat activated tanning lotion, just to relieve some stress.

My main problem is the intense mood swings. Some days I feel like I don't have a thing in the world to look forward to, despite the fact I have two wonderful grandsons and other family members. I have days where I can't stand to be around another human being, especially my boyfriend, who is totally in the dark about all this and doesn't understand why the sight of him makes me aggravated. People on my job just look at me and say, "but you were so happy a month ago, what happened?"

Well, what do I say… I'm going through the change of life? I've been told I look 32, not 45, then if I tell my co-workers I'm going through the change, that's admitting to them and myself that I'm getting OLD!

I have told my boyfriend that I am going away BY MYSELF for the weekend, just so I can de-stress a little and try to feel better. I know this is a part of life, but why couldn't it happen to men...since it is called MENopause? Couldn't we just have ONE break in life and not have to endure this awful feeling thing?

I hope to find some type of relief or else everyone is going to run in the opposite direction when I enter the room for fear I'll yell that them, which is something I never used to do. I will send up a prayer for every woman out there that's feeling the same thing I'm feeling. Stay strong, girls. We are tough, we can get through this...could someone please convince ME of that??



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Updated  05/15/2010