No. Slap Yourself a Few More Times.

Story Sent in by Irene:

George and I were out to a normal dinner when he pulled out a big metal paperclip, inserted it into his nose, dug it around a little, then pulled it out and put it back in his pocket.

Reading my face, he explained, "I don't use my finger for picking, so I use that instrument. I clean it, so don't worry."

I still didn't say anything. He continued, "You're still grossed out?"

I said, "Yeah."

He slapped himself in the face and said, "Bad George! Bad George!" then looked up at me and asked, "That better?"

I changed the subject completely, but also did my best to end dinner and the date as soon as possible.


  1. I don't know which is more disturbing - the fact that George thought it was a-okay to dig in his nose in a public place in front of someone who was eating, the fact that he carries a "clean" paper clip around just for this purpose or that he refers to a paper clip as an instrument. The self administered corporal punishment and scolding is really just the cherry on top of the booger cake.

  2. Gross!!! Dude, go to the bathroom if you need to go mining for nose gold!

  3. He also uses a coat hanger to scrape dingle-berries from his corn hole...and a fork to scratch his crotch...but don't worry...he cleans them.

  4. ^I hear crotch-forks are also good at feeding ice cream to your date...

  5. Once you've had crotch fork ice cream you'll never go back. Only way to eat it.

  6. But he said he cleans the paper clip after he goes green-gold mining with it! That says "class". Your loss, OP.

  7. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dingleberries

  8. Did someone say ice cream? My dessert cutlery is getting slippery.



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