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Monday, July 26, 2010

I can feel the fizz rising

The boys and I have gotten into a very bad habit of sleeping in every morning and staying up too late at night. 

I was doing some serious dreaming when I woke up this morning though the details are a little fuzzy.  There was something about a woman who was trying to auction off her husband, me being somewhere near the ocean and frantically searching for someone and right before I woke up, I was writing my blog in a notebook in which the pages, along with the ink in the pen, kept changing colors.  

Please someone tell me I'm not the only one who dreams such crazy, random stuff.  I just wish I could recall what I was writing in that notebook because I was working that pen with no end in sight.  

I am having a bit of a hard time blogging as of late, if you hadn't noticed, because I'm preoccupied with worrying about my mom. She still has not gotten any better, only worse, and we still don't have a diagnosis.

I can feel the rage building inside and while I'm usually able to keep it suppressed for a pretty good while, I fear I'm going to snap soon and some innocent health care professional is going to be hit with the brunt of my fury. 

That happened once a year or two ago over an incident that happened with Dracen.  I snapped on a doctor, though luckily it was over the phone so I did not hit anyone or get barred from the doctor's office. 

I am really not normally a violent or rageful person.  In fact, I am quite the opposite.  I will generally go out of my way to avoid conflict or confrontation but everyone has their breaking point and I'm no different.  Though it seems to be worse when someone like me, who is quiet and calm by nature, reaches that point. 

It's like shaking up a bottle of soda and letting it sit for a moment watching all the aggravated fizz rise to the surface then finally deciding to let it go by unscrewing that lid. Yeah, I'd say that's exactly like what happens on the rare occasion that I lose my cool and control of my emotions.

It's just a matter of time. 

So as not to end on an angry note, I will tell y'all about the two little bloggy awards I was so very honored to receive this week.  I have been given a few in the past and neglected to mention them but they always make me smile and realize that although many times I feel like I'm just rambling here in this blog, some of what I write must actually be entertaining and/or inspiring to read on occasion. 

HRH Mommy over at M for Mommy bestowed the lovely blog award upon me.  

Stef at Ooops...There Goes My Mind (love that title!) gave me the versatile blogger award. 

Thanks, ladies! I enjoy both their blogs as well.  Go check them out.

I think I'm now supposed to tell 7 random things about myself but Lord knows, I do that all the time on here and as one of my first blog posts, I made a list of 100 random things about me that I've also made into a page so you can skim over that if you feel so obliged.  

Hope y'all have a wonderful Monday,



  1. I'm so sorry about your Mom. I hope they will be able to figure it out soon. That is so so hard. xoxo

  2. I do the same thing. I think it is better to let it out slowly. Sorry about your mom. Hope they will be able to figure something out. Congratulations on your awards.

  3. I'm sorry your mama isn't feeling well. I love your mama.
    I immediately think "Diiiaaannee" when I think of her.

    I only remember being on the end of that aggravated frizz one time. You are pretty calm and patient.

    Congrats on the awards. You are doing a great job.

  4. First of all, I am sorry to hear about your mom's health problems. I hope you guys will get some clarity soon.

    In light of that, I can see where weird dreams come from.

    It sounds like you might need a little break. Any chance you can take an afternoon for yourself? It's just a thought, but it might do you good.

    You're welcome for the award. I always so enjoy reading your blog. You deserve it.

    HRH Mommy

  5. Dreams are odd things...I try not to over analyze because I have no idea why I dreamt that I was Brad Pitt kissing myself. Weird.
    I hope they are able to figure out what is going on with your mom. That has to be tough!!