Just Wanna Have Fun

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother:

For the past two years I have been part of drop-in bridge group that
one member has hosted for about five years. Many of the people also
play in the duplicate bridge club, and take classes, practice fancy
conventions, and fret ceaselessly about their performance and whether
they are doing things correctly. I learned to play many decades ago
from my parents and grandparents. I am a seat-of- the-pants player
who does not do any of the fancy stuff but can almost always
maximize the most that can be made out of any hand. It used to be
lots of fun, but over time the people who want to analyze every hand
like it was brain surgery have started making the process more painful
than fun. Should I say something, stop going, or ????

Just Wanna Have Fun

Dear Just Wanna Have Fun:

The hostess of the group has the right to set the behavioral
boundaries. You can express you concerns to her in a polite
conversation, as in I care more about playing than analyzing. Are you
happy with all the talk? But be prepared to be told that the group
precedes you and that their collective priorities outweigh your desire
for recreation time.

While people are chatting you can quietly ask the people you enjoy
playing with the most, likely the ones who are also sitting quietly
waiting for the analysis to be over, if they’d be up for a friendly non-
competitive game at a different time. Trade emails and see if you can
work something out. But be forewarned: Anything you say to them will
likely get back to the hostess, accurately or not. So be cautious about
being too negative or you risk being uninvited.