Stop Body-Shaming Men Who Don’t Wash Their Penises

August 24, 2020 by , featured in Spiritual Wellness
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As a male who doesn’t wash his penis, I am all too familiar with the types of body-shaming that men like me get. Enough is enough. It’s time I speak on behalf of all unwashed penises and end this discrimination once and for all.

wash penis

I’d describe myself as having an average build—not too chiseled, but someone who the females would consider desirable. So what’s the problem here? It’s my dick. I don’t follow what many consider to be a traditional routine of personal hygiene, instead opting for what I call alternative cleanliness. Our bodies carry natural odors and bacteria that are very beneficial to our well-being, which are scrubbed away when we take upon the socially conditioned ritual of showering. It’s actually not all that uncommon nor unhealthy to go months without washing your dick. I even know a few fellow “smegmen” who have gone years without bathing their privates.

Women don’t understand this. For them, the ideal male penis is one that is cleaned daily. Women have zero tolerance for this lifestyle, and that’s why I can’t get laid. Just to be fair to you and prove that I’m not a misogynist, I do realize that some of my fellow smegmites have repulsive personalities, but that’s not me, nor is it most of us who follow this lonely road. We’re actually all pretty good guys who just really want to have sex and coincidentally don’t wash our penis. Why can’t women love us for who we are?

wash penis

Thought experiment, women. Let’s say there are two men, both of equal attractiveness, but one of them covers his crotch with a Ziploc bag as he showers to keep his natural body oils intact. Who would you pick to fuck? I think your answer says more about you than it does me. Men like us don’t care about appearances and are open to dating pretty much all women who are kind, honest, loyal, geeky, sexy, skinny, long-haired, redheaded or blonde, white or Asian, cisgender, don’t have tattoos/piercings, monogamous, not feminist, free-thinking, independent, stylish, and well-mannered. So why can’t women stop being so shallow? Think about it.

Women, we aren’t asking for much. You make it sound like we’re bad guys or something. Look, everyone fucks, especially females. Why not sleep with a guy who’s penis confident and doesn’t need soap and water to be a real man? We’re here, waiting for you, and always will be. Not in an “I looked up your address on Google Maps” stalker way. We’re here in the spiritual sense, in the “your boyfriend dumped you for a slightly thinner woman, as dick-washers are wont to do” way. And when that day comes (it always does), we won’t act smug and laugh at your tears. We’ll embrace you just the way you are, as long as you meet our aforementioned strict criteria. We hope you’ll love us, too, and our unwashed penises.

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  1. Let me tell you women dont want an unwashed penis. If you have sex with someone and don’t wash your dong afterwards, the person you had sex with “germs and wetness” (for lack of better words) will remain on your penis. That is absolutely gross and unsanitary. No women want other women “old juices”on the penis they’re going to have sex. The vagina, on the other hand, is self cleaning organ and don’t need to be hand clean to remove any harmful germs.

  2. I will FOREVER shame men who don’t wash their dicks. Women do a shit ton of stuff to look and be presentable for men. We’re not asking much from them. Poor hygiene is worth dumping a guy over. Especially since he’s going to try and put his stank dick in your mouth. 🤢🤮

  3. Hey, it’s just natural selection at this point. Women find men who clean their junk more attractive. So men who don’t wash their junk won’t pass on their genes to the next generation. How’s that for natural?

  4. I threw up after reading this comment. Women do not like it cuz it smells disgusting. Let me guess u expect her to lick and eat your cheesy rotten dick?. You are so disgusting. Go eat your smegma and swallow your own sperm first before u go expecting a woman to do it. Go clean yourself. What a nasty. If I wash my vagina you should too. It is common courtesy. Or find a woman that likes to eat rotten smelly cheese. You men are so self centered. Women just supposed to submit to your nasty self because u think you are obligated to get pleasure . You are sick.

  5. Did no one think that women don’t like it because thats how INFECTIONS are caused?????…….NO ONE???….. how do u think a girl feels when she’s actually withstood your smeg and then comes home with yeast or vaginal bacteria infection?????? Fucking self centered idiots and then they wonder why.

  6. it causes infections very easily for women and it gets pretty painful because its inside our body. Please dont stick something in someone else’s body if its not clean…please. Its not that hard and its not about being manly or anything else trust me. Its like if someone with really bad breath tries to make out with you. Also, who hurt you? Seems like you really hold onto it to help you feel like a man or something? I dont know just please bathe.

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