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    • #125789

      feel like i’ve made a massive mistake
      why am i so attracted to this behaviour

    • #125798

      Hey unsinkableunicorn, can you tell us a bit more about why you feel stuck?

    • #125846

      ive just got so used to this behaviour that i crave it
      im so attached to my abuser

    • #125848

      I can feel the pain coming through your words. You haven’t made a massive mistake, even though I know it feels very much like you have. You have been manipulated by an abuser, just like all of us on this forum. It really can happen to anyone and it’s not your fault. There is no mistake that you could have made to cause anyone to abuse you.

      However hopeless you feel, you have actually made a really huge step in recognising the abuse and recognising your attachment to it. This is a big step in finding your way out of the abuse. It may take time but you are making progress.

      Unfortunately the attachment is quite normal. It’s called trauma bonding, and it’s how humans naturally react to abuse. You might find reading up on it helps make sense of things and helps you see that it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.

      However weak, stuck or hopeless you feel, know that it takes incredible strength to survive abuse. You are stronger than you know. Even if you have no idea how you will leave and it seems impossible, you won’t always feel that way. Just take baby steps. Educate yourself, try to look after yourself, reach out for help. You will leave when you’re ready to and there is nothing wrong with you if you don’t feel ready. Sending lots of love xxxx

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