theloushe via Flickr

theloushe via Flickr

As women, we often joke and wonder aloud about the differences in approach to life and perspectives between men and women, husband and wives right?

During one such conversation with one of my psychiatry friends; a busy fellow working mom, we shared hilarious stories about the way our husbands “handle” things relating to our kids and homes.

I jokingly lamented, “What is wrong with my husband’s brain?”

She proceeded to tell me a very simplified but insanely helpful image of the way the male and female brains differ in processing information, thoughts and tasks.

Her funny waffle analogy helped me understand my husband’s approach as different but not “wrong”. As a fellow doctor she knew I didn’t want a primer on genes, social gender differences, hormonal structural changes, etc.

So she said…

Imagine 2 big waffles, full of the dips and valleys; we’ll call waffle wells. With the hundreds of wells on both sides of the waffle are all the tasks and things we need to think of and take care of.

The Male Waffle Brain

Has the lovely syrup on a few separate wells with just the minimum amount of syrup, with large gaps of wells that are empty.

This male waffle brain is not as sweet or sugary, and may be a bit on the dry side but some wells or “things” are covered just right. On the other hand;

The FEMALE waffle brain

Has syrup all over the place and all the wells are covered for the most part, but some areas are overflowing and other areas are a sticky, sweet mess.

Perhaps some areas are downing and soppy with syrup but everything is covered.

Does this visual picture resonate with you- of course, it’s an overs simplication, but pretty accurate in general for a majority of males and females right?

There are pros and cons to both types of waffle brain coverage

So if you are like me; with a FEMALE Waffle brain and you want to cover as much as you can but do so more gracefully and less stickily, here are some of the MALE waffle brain advantages you can tap into:

1. Use less syrup like saying “NO thank you” and “Maybe next time” (prioritize, delegate and minimize)

2. Be more careful with “pouring the syrup over your waffle”. You don’t have to do it all yourself, pass the syrup round the table by asking others for help when needed.

3. One well at a time. Pour syrup into one well at a time and take one bite at a time. Pace yourself is what I am trying to pass across.

4. Ask for 2 smaller waffles instead of one ginormous one. Divide tasks over time and take your time to enjoy the taste and process.

How many times have we been in “charge” of everything and at the end realized we were not PRESENT in the moment?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Dr. Carol



  • Hi Bola! I hadn’t heard that analogy about waffles before but in many ways it makes sense and is an interesting way to think of it. It reminds me of a similar story about how men shop and when they need something they can go to the mall, park as close as possible and go in the one store that carries what they want, buy it, and then leave straight away.

    Women on the other hand park somewhere close but as they are approaching the store with the item they came for they remember something else they want/need and they go off in that direction and get it, then remember another thing, go in that direction, etc. etc. until they have been all over that damn mall getting all sorts of things before returning to the original store.

    We women are more complicated in our thinking as you say and it can get really “sticky” in there if we aren’t careful. Your best advice is learning to say “no” to things that are really out of our scope. Thanks for the advice….Kathy

    • Good points there Kathy. I have also heard from neuroscientists stating that the brain nerve endings of men do not cross the midline while women’s cross the midline back and forth.

      We really are from Venus, dudes are from Mars.

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