Just kidding

HORSE the band

Now on all streaming platforms.
Sold out now on vinyl.
Cassette potentially forthcoming in 15 years

20 Thousand and 20.
Living on the bleeding edge of herstory.
Nothing has ever been this way.
Nothing has ever come this far.
In the past, people didn't know shit. They thought the earth was flat. They didn't have any of the applications we have now. They didn't have a computer that fits in our pocket.

We are past all that now.

We're no longer a fucking savage primitive species just barely making our way through a crippled, tortured life by cutting pieces out of our bodies with a knife when they die from our horribly shitty lifestyles and complete obliviousness to the true nature of our bodies and minds.

We're super excited.

"Today marks my last day at x company. To say it has been a ride would be an understatement. I will never forget the 8 years I spent going to the same building every day, sitting with the same idiots, selling the prime time of my life by the year for an obscene amount of money. Here is a picture of my desk on my first day, when they gave me the stickers and computer. Tomorrow I'll begin a new journey at y company, where I'll lead a new effort around autonomous vehicles."

What is it?

"After I watched Endgame, if I even think about it, I get chills down my spine."


Am I Doomed?

Like many others we improved our lives drastically in the past decade.

In the early 2010's we drank so much high-quality craft beer at all the breweries, increasing our knowledge and mastery of this world.

We began to enjoy the New American style of food and the revival of the urban centers and Americana. We drank cocktails in the lobby of the Ace Hotel in New York City. The big flag and black walls made us feel part of something big. We were really becoming integral to the We used Foursquare a lot.

We became addicted to our phones to the point that we can no longer be present with others when occupying the same physical space as them.

We destroyed our brains' reward centers permanently

We created a psychological state in which we will never be satisfied with anything we have.

We pursued mammon

We became very scared to lose our mammon

We frantically sought to occupy the moral high ground, to be unassailable by destroying all others in advance

At the same time, we set a lofty goal - to watch all the comic book movies, and we did it.

Every day, we had to make it to the top of the moral high ground.

Our functional alcoholism reached previously undreamed of heights made possible by advances in the purity of hard liquors.

We sought out new foods in various neighbourhoods and ended up flying to countries desperate for authentic experiences but always went to places on Google Maps and talked in English to other travelers about avoiding tourist neighbourhoods and

We had to look beyond reproach or lose everything.

We fully bought into creating an underclass of service workers.

We lost the capability to think about something and form our own opinion of it because we have no own inner voice or guidance left, only a sense of what will put our mammon in jeopardy as our punk rock values morphed into exact alignment with the agenda of global corporations.

We thought a 10 hour documentary about a band was too long and then proceeded to watch series after series on Netflix for a decade of our lives with no end in sight.

We started eating with wooden forks and cups made out of corn

We had 3 babies

We took 5 years to record 3 songs and one of them we didn't even write