E15: 7 Assertiveness Skills + Do I Have a Drinking Problem?

assertiveness skills

How to grow your assertiveness skills

Hoping to increase your assertiveness skills? Are you the type of person who struggles to share what you think and feel? Tired of being thought of as the “shy guy?”

If the answer is yes, you wouldn’t be alone. A lot of people, particularly men, are interested in upping their assertiveness skills but are unsure of what to do. This is particularly true for folks who need to be more direct in the workplace and in romantic relationships.

But how can you be assertive without coming off as aggressive? Is there a middle ground that strikes the right balance? The answer is – yes.

In this podcast, Dr. Moore walks you through assertiveness in a straightforward, easy to understand way. He’ll also answer a listener email from a man who is wondering if he has a problem with alcohol.


  • What it means to be assertive
  • The primary differences between assertiveness and aggressiveness
  • People pleasing syndrome
  • The case of “Michael” and problems with assertiveness
  • Why learning to say no is an important skill
  • How to properly use “I statements” with examples
  • Learning how to make eye contact
  • The role of body language in communications
  • Why you should learn the art of peaceful disagreement
  • Why manipulation is a poor way approach to assertiveness
  • Responding vs. reacting and why smart communicators respond
  • The cultural role in communication
  • What “use” means with substance abuse
  • The construct of alcohol abuse and what it means
  • An overview of alcohol dependence
  • Why alcohol dependence requires can cause serious health problems for someone wanting to stop drinking
  • Why working with a trained professional for alcohol addiction is critical to the process of change
  • How labels like “addict” aren’t always helpful


7 major Alpha male traits revealed

How to make “I Statements” (Therapy Aid)

Native Indians, culture and communication (eye contact)

How to engage in active listening (Very Well Mind)

Yes, alcohol withdrawal can kill in severe cases

Do I have a drinking problem (Very Well Mind)

Find a substance abuse counselor (Psychology Today)

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About John D. Moore 376 Articles