This page contains some naughty words, if that offends you, log off now!

Who ever dies with the most tools wins! 

Women won't understand the above, it's a guy thing




BELT SANDER:  An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major efinishing jobs.











HOSE CUTTER:  A tool used to make hoses too short.
 UTILITY KNIFE:   Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such  as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector  magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. It is especially  good for slicing work clothes, while being worn.



BUFFING WHEELS:   Felt wheels attached to a high speed rotating shaft used for grabbing knives and out of your hand and throwing them either point first into the concrete floor, or point first into some portion of your body.

ARC WELDER:   High voltage electrical device used to burn irregular shaped holes in metal that you are trying to join.    


FILE:  Metal cutting tool used to make scratches in knives that takes hours to sand out.


CENTER PUNCH:  Pointed metal shaft used to mark holes for drilling that are a fraction of an inch from where they should be.


TONGS:   Large pliars like devices used to allow red hot steel to go flying into some portion of your body when the steel is struck with a hammer. When this happens see “SON OF A BITCH TOOL”


ANGLE GRINDER:  A tool with a high speed rotating abrasive wheel used for opening up the front of your shirt, removing skin and sometimes as an eraser for bad welds.


CRESECNT WRENCH:  Device used to start the rounding process of bolt heads and also used to remove the skin from knuckles.  Sometimes doubles as a hammer.


SAWSALL:  Electric Saw that is used for locating electrical wiring and plumbing hidden in walls.


WIRE STRIPPER:  Pliars like device used to turn almost too short wires into totally too short wires. 


DIKES or SIDE CUTTERS:  Special pliars used to identify and locate energized electrical lines.


SHOVEL:  Wooden prop with metal point used to keep municipal workers from falling over.


PICK:  Pointed tool used to locate water lines, gas lines and underground electrical lines.  


ELECTRIC DRILL:  Hand held device used to make holes in wood, metal and plastic that are a fraction of an inch from where the need to be. Also used to burn up or break drill bits.


REAMER:  Tapered cutting tool used to enlarge holes made by Electric Drill so things will line up.