The stereotypical baby daddy. We all know one. If he isn’t yours, he’s your friends or your cousins. You may have seen him on tv on a court or reality show. You don’t know how you know one but YOU DO. The dad who only gives when “he has it” as if children don’t have needs when he doesn’t. The dad who has been trying to get on his feet for the last forever years but gets angry at you when you hold him accountable. The dad who agrees he’ll see his kids every other weekend and that slowly turns into every other month. He uses phrases like, “I’ll watch the kids,” like he’s a baby sitter and everything he does for them, counts as a favor to you. Like a victim, he speaks openly about being broke as if it’s a disease he unfortunately contracted. He’s always waiting on his tax return to proudly spend $50, you have to prompt, until next year. When it’s time to meet it’s always something. His car, he’s broke, his back hurts. Every now and then he sends a surface text, “Hey how are the kids doing?” but he never digs deep. He posts the pictures you take of them to social media. Writing captions answering questions his guilty conscience thinks people are asking. He’s usually being supported by a group of family and friends to whom he’s spewed a false rhetoric. As if minor things about your personal life should come into question when you’re the only one taking care of his kids. The support is usually led by a partner who keeps him gassed up when he’s really running on E. Telling him, “she’s only doing what you’re SUPPOSED to do!” Conveniently leaving him unscathed. Every Mother’s Day he sends a text telling you what a great job you do and how grateful he is that you mother his kids. But one left turn and all of a sudden you ain’t shit and he can do what you’re doing without a complaint. He does petty things that reveal his cards: he hates you more than he loves his kids. So sticking it to them as a byproduct of sticking it to you comes easily and almost naturally. You can’t depend on him to get them to a doctor or dentist appointment he can’t even get them to school on time. When he’s finally able to see them you have to send their toothbrushes and all their basic needs. Since they’re guests in his home there’s no place for their stuff, any time spent, it’s all anew. And I can’t leave out how half the items you send don’t come back but he never understands your annoyance. Since he doesn’t buy any of it he can’t even see the value in making sure it’s returned. When the kids get back you’re forced to entertain conversations about the false promises he makes them. Like going to Disney World and other fallacies, that he’ll just act like he never said. Oh, and by the way, he has other kids, ones he brags about being a full-time dad to.  But you know with certainty he’ll do the same to them if he’s one day not with their mother. You somehow have to facilitate his parenting be it financial, physical or emotional. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t although he EXPECTS you to. He can’t meet but tells you “let me know when you figure it out”. He can’t pay for a school dance but says “send pics of my baby girl”. He can’t go half on a cell phone or the bill but is quick to take it in his lone acts of “parenting” . When his anger peaks he sends threats about how he plans to take his kids full time. You can’t help but get a good laugh knowing his account, his intentions and these threats are all the same. 

As a society, we’ve decided how to handle these deadbeats. You didn’t lay down and make these kids by yourself! Take them to court, put them on child support and force them to take care of their responsibilities. Right?


But do we keep the same energy when the deadbeat is the MOM?

Sound off below! I know the politically correct answer is to say yes, but is that the reality? Would you have more sympathy knowing this was all about a mom?

Mommi Shari