Monday, January 06, 2020

If It Still Fits, Wear It
I posted this outfit on Instagram, but thought it deserved a longer story here. I’ve owned the dress since the late 1970s, so there’s  a lot to say about it. 

I was getting to the age where I needed something “nice” to wear for various parties, wedding showers, graduations, etc. I’ve always had a sense of style however it rarely extended to anything that could be described as, “nice.” It wasn’t my fault punk happened😁. To counter my tendency to wear my dad’s old work shirts belted over shorts to look like a dress, my mother would on occasion purchase clothing for me that could pass as appropriate in most situations. 
At least 50% of what my mother bought for me wouldn’t fit as she was forever purchasing my clothes too small as some sort of motivation to make me thinner. I suppose if she’d thought about it, matronly looking polyester frocks weren’t terribly motivating to the average kid and less so to one with an already entrenched style, but eh, whatever. The rest of the time the clothes would fit, but were hideous.
Oh I know what you’re thinking and no, that green dress isn’t terrible-today. Forty years ago? Different story. I’ve kept this one all these years as it was the “least horrible” thing my mother ever purchased, if that gives you any idea. There was the dress with a border print of creepy , cursed , marionettes that looked like they could sneak off the fabric at night to go out and murder people in their sleep. There was the full length faux mink coat that made me look like a sixth grade Little Edie. There were the pale blue ultrasuede jeans with red contrast stitching. There were smock tops. Oh god, so many smock tops. There was the red Orphan Annie dress with a white collar. The day-glo orange playsuit made from terry/ toweling material that at least had a zip down the front facilitating a quick change to get out of the horrible thing. On and on. The green dress truly is the least worst thing she ever bought me.
Around that time I had a pair of shoes that I was quite attached to. Green suede clogs with a pointy toe and western stitching with yellow perseplex heels. They were magnificent. I loved those shoes until they were beyond repair by quite some ways. Obviously I wore them with everything because they were, as pointed out, magnificent. Not everyone appreciated my taste in footwear . I don’t know why. No accounting for taste I guess. Anyway, my sister was getting married (again) and I needed something to wear, so it was decided that the green dress would be acceptable. 

At some point our housekeeper pulled me aside and informed me that I needed to buy some proper shoes for the wedding. It was a casual reception but no, she wasn’t letting me wear those green suede clogs. If it had been my mother or sister insisting, I’d have ignored them, but I had enough respect ( and fear) to do what Ella Mae told me. I took myself over to I Magnin and bought a pair of peach coloured stilettos 😬. That would have been classy in 1982.
Sadly, I don’t have a photo of the shoes but here’s the dress in action! My hair was an attempt to look “normal “ as it would typically be worn up in spikes. Instead I look like a five year old gave me a bowl cut. 

I was trying to remember if this is the oldest piece in my wardrobe that was purchased new, but it turns out  I still have a white polo neck with red hearts from 1977! It fits much tighter than it did at the time but is still wearable! I’m sure there are other pieces but I can’t think of anything at the moment. 

So that’s a bit more of the story of the green dress. How about you? Anyone still hanging onto clothes from their youth? Do Tell!