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Sleep issues please help!!

Posted 06/27/2009

I have 2 issues that I need some advice from you all on:

ISSUE 1: My LO is 13 (almost 14 months), I have to rock him to sleep EVERY night and then tip toe into his room, over a baby gate and put him into his crib. If he wakes up in the process and sees that he is going into his room he starts to have a melt-down. I usually just put him in there and let him cry a minute or two and then he just goes right to sleep. I don't mind rocking him, but the every night thing is getting a little much....especially since he can sometimes take an hour or two to rock to sleep! (I don't want criticism on my decisions either....just advice..thanks)

ISSUE 2: Most nights he will wake up and cry for 5 minutes (sometimes less), and then go back to sleep. Is this normal? Why is he crying like something is really wrong, and then goes back to sleep? This is almost EVERY night this happens.

Please let me know what your thoughts are on both of these issues. Thanks in advance everyone!!

- Jen

Comments (12)

1 2
Posted 06/27/2009

That's totally normal...it is like how as an adult you will wake from a dead sleep in the middle of the night, look around and go back to sleep.  Babies/toddlers do the same thing but will whimper or even cry for a minute and go back to sleep. 

I still rock Cara for naps and bedtime...but I limit it.  I don't want to be in there for more than 20mins.  So if she isn't asleep by then I'll just lay her down and she'll either go to sleep or whine for a few minutes and then go to sleep (sometimes she will whine for a while, but will always go to sleep).

Posted 06/27/2009

its completely normal, and it is good that you just let him go back to sleep. it would probably take longer for him to get bck to sleep if you got him up.

as for the rocking my advice is rock him for his bed routine in his room and then put him down.

i rocked ds to sleep until it started taking hours to get him down, then we said okay this isnt working so well anymore we are going to make a little change. it took him a few days to get used to it and there were some tears. but once we made the change and he adjusted he was getting the extra sleep he needed. like instead of rocking from 7 to nine we would rick for about 10 minutes and he would get an extra hour or 2 of sleep.

and if you start doing his bed time routine in his roomhe will associate it more with the good cuddle fun parts of bed time rather than just being seperated from you and having to go in his bed. kwim?

its not going to be easy on you, because he will protest if he is used to one way and you change it up on him, or he may just surprise you and you will wonder why you didnt do it like that since he started taking hours to get to sleep


"a baby is like a face tattoo, if your going to get one you kinda wanna be committed to it"

Posted 06/27/2009

I'd say stop rocking him.
If you enjoy it, then you'll have to accept that he's going to "make" you do it for an hour or five, however long he can keep you doing it.  So, it'd be hard to want to rock him a bit but only for ten minutes, because it's going to be that much more difficult to put him down if he's used to it lasting ten times longer.

Maybe start cutting ten or fifteen minutes out of the rocking every night.  So if you are now at an hour, tomorrow night do it for 45mins and lay him down, asleep or awake.  Let him cry as long as he needs to cry, don't pick him back up!  The next night, do it again for 45mins and lay him down.  After three or four days he should get the point that it is ALL the rocking time he's getting and go to sleep a bit easier (might take a few days longer).  When he's calmed down with that, cut five more minutes out and wait a few days.  Then cut out five more.  It's a process, that's for sure, but it'll be even more of a process the longer you wait to try and nip it.

With the 2nd issue, both my boys have had night terrors (my oldest will be five at the end of July and youngest is as old as your son) which last MUCH longer than a little whimper and are quite horrible, consider yourself lucky you just get a whimper!  Like a PP said, babies wake up just like adults do and have that "wth?" moment, then put themselves back to sleep however they seem to manage (a whimper, shrieking, etc).  If it continues for anything longer than what's been normal of course peek in and check, but baby's probably perfectly fine.

Posted 06/27/2009

We've been rocking my DS to sleep until this week, because he is such an angel about it. However, he's recently gotten rediculous to where he will cry and fuss if he wakes and we aren't holding him (or laying next to). So, we decided to CIO, as I feel the ability for him to sleep w/o being held is important.

I was prepared for it to be a painful experience. Now, every kid is different, but my DS rocked! We did the bedtime routine, I held him until he seemed droopy, then in to bed he went. He cried, fussed, and threw everything out of his crib. After 10min. I gave him his stuff back, hugged  him (did not pick him up), and laid him back down. The plan was to go back in after 15min. Well, after 8min. (18total), he was asleep. Last night was 15min. The best part for me, is that he went back to only waking up once during the night around 3-4am.

It totally depends on your comfort level and preplanning how you will handle it if you decide to CIO. You have to stick it out.

Good luck!


Kendra, Blessed with 2 sons! 

M 6/2006

J 5/2008

Posted 06/27/2009

I don't have any advice for you on issue #1 except to cut back on how many minutes you spend rocking gradually until it works better for you. I agree with pp that it may involve some crying, but rocking him for 1-2 hours just isn't really workable. If he can put himself to sleep after only a few minutes of crying on a regular basis, he'll probably do the same if you put him down after less rocking.

As for the waking and crying at night, my experience with DD is that she does this a ton more when she's super tired - when I put her to bed earlier, she doesn't do it. When we're in a good routine, she can go weeks without making a peep all night but if we have a late night for whatever reason, she'll wake up crying for a few minutes a couple of times during the night.



Sophia May '08 - David Sept '10 - Josephine Jan '13

Posted 06/27/2009

I'm in sort of the same boat since I nurse my LO to sleep.  You are lucky you can put him down awake and he'll only cry for a few minutes!!  Lauren goes into total hysterics! Doesnt matter how tired she is.

I have some crying in my future methinks...


Sher,  mom to Lauren 5/22/08  

Posted 06/27/2009

Totally Normal Hon.  I rock Lily usually 5-10 minutes most nights, sometimes longer if she's sick though...
She has a glow seahorse that plays music.  I'll rock her while the music is playing through at least once, sometimes twice...then take her to her room, start her "rain music", lay her down and give her kisses and tell her I love her and good night.  She sometimes rolls over and goes right to sleep, some nights she'll whine and whimper a little and other nights she'll "sing' and play in her crib for a little while before falling asleep.

With the waking, your LO may not even be totally awake, may be having a night terror (my oldest had thse a lot) or like a PP said, just waking up and trying to get back to sleep, no biggie...

If you don't wanna rock her to sleep, slowly cut down on the rocking and maybe when you lay your LO down, pat him on the back the rest of the way to sleep...that's what I did with Lily and now most nights I don't have to rock her long or even pat her on the back...occasionally she has had a bad day or having a really ahrd time falling asleep and I will pat her back for usually no longer than 10 minutes...

sometimes it just takes a while to figure out what works for your baby...

Good luck hon!


Thank you BBC for listening to us....

Coming soon to a board near you...my new screen name...hippiefrogg!!

Happy with my complete family!

Posted 06/27/2009

I would work on the time you rock him, slowly cut that back.  Also, make a clear bedtime routine with him and maybe try to have it in his room.  Just a thought, that might help.  We struggle with sleep issues with DS, had to make him CIO at 9 months and are working on it again now for naps (what a nightmare that has been).  But it made a HUGE difference for night time, he was the same thing, he would be out cold and the instant I got out of the rocking chair he was up and screaming.  The hard thing is kids learn behaviors so quickly but they can learn something new.  Just slowly change up how you put him to bed, gradual changes, but it should work.  The longer you wait the harder it will be.

As for number two concern.  My LO did that all the time too before we made him CIO.  I always thought if he fell asleep nursing or being rocked or whatever and woke up and wasn't doing those things he'd be mad so I wrote it off as that.  Maybe that isn't the issue for your LO though, just a thought.  But the good news about that is at least you know your LO knows how to fall asleep on his own, he can do it in the middle of the night.

Hang in there with whatever you decide.  Putting DS down in his crib and listening to him cry was so difficult but I don't regret it for a moment.

Michelle mommy to Louis 5-31-08



Mom to DS 5/08, DS 2/10, DS 3/12 (CH resolved at 15 weeks!)

Posted 06/28/2009

To get out of the rocking to sleep, we sometimes have to sit by DD's crib so she doesn't freak out - she has terrible separation anxiety. If you need help, let me know.

Posted 06/28/2009

with my ds if you sit in there with him he will not calm down he will get more and more upset bc you arent holding him. but if you put him down and say goodnight he night cry for a few minutes after you leave the room but then he will go right to sleep.

so every baby is different, if one thing isnt working and you give it a chance then try something new.



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