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Kinda Upset

Ugh I hate this!!  My boyfriend has been home from deployment for over a month and his sex drive isn't nearly the same. I'm literally the only one asking for sex. He says he does enjoy it but I'm still the only one initiating it! It's beyond annoying. I'm lucky if I get sex once a week and it's always me asking for it. Never ever from him, he says he went 7 months without it so it doesn't matter really much to him (it's not "number 1 on his priority list"). Like our relationship isn't based upon it but I'd still like to have it more often then maybe once a week if I'm lucky. So frustrated. 
rlapierre7 rlapierre7 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 9, 2012

Your Response


lol cuff him to the bed!! No I get it AJ also goes through it especially when he just gets back or is about to leave as well he told me once because he looses focus and i'm like really are you a marine or a football pla<x>yer!! no really just give it time he'll snap out of it soon enough eventually!!

Thankfully he's gotten much much better ;)

Hunny you are not alone! My man was like that even before he became a Marine. After the 'hunnymoon' phase (when we first started dating) I was lucky to get it once a week! He came back from boot camp and I got it twice in ten days. You would think after not seeing a girl for three months he would want it more. <br />
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As you said though, he is used to going without. Also as far as you initiating it, a lot of times they guys don't realize that our (the females/other partner) feelings are sometimes hurt by us only initiating it. They don't realize that it makes us feel a multitude of feelings, including feeling unwanted, not sexy enough,hurt, unloved etc. Just explain to him that you don't want to have to be the one always initiating it. From my experience guys don't think like we do (understatement of the year lol) and he probably doesn't see any problem with you being the one to initiate it, he still gets sex.<br />
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Good luck and if it comes down to it just hand cuff him to the bed. :p j/k

lol (ok sorry, I shouldn't laugh), but I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!!!!!!!!!! It's finally started to get a looooooot better, but I think it's because he's deploying again in a couple months! I even asked my hubby how often he wanted sex and he said he was fine with two times a week. I want mabe two days a week where we DONT have sex!<br />
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Either way, I found that he 1) didn't know my cues that I wanted to do it and 2) just unfortunately has a lower sex drive than me. Truthfully, I'd feel weird if he was just getting it up to please me. I want him as turned on as I am!<br />
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Hope that makes sense! Either way, give him time. And if you need to, even if it IS once a week, maybe ask him to INITIATE at least once a week to show he cares???