Pass notes: 1487

Roman Keflay

Occupation: Fashion designer.

I didn't realise times were so tough for the Blairs that Cherie was having to moonlight under a pseudonym. No, no, no. Look at what she's wearing: it's that dress.

But I thought it was Liz Hurley who wore That Dress? Or maybe it was Ffion Hague? Some cutting-edge trendspotter you are. Liz Hurley's was That Dress. Ffion's was the other that dress. This, on the other hand, is that dress.

What dress? The shimmering silk number that Cherie sported at the launch bash for London Fashion Week at Lancaster House on Monday, the £700 creation of Keflay, an Ethiopian-born designer she first discovered back in February. It's this season's must-have look.

Rather risqué, isn't it? Darling, it's as low-cut as income tax will be two months prior to the next election. But it's the colour that really has London's fashion elite gibbering into their mochas and mobiles.

I had an army surplus blanket in that colour once. Dig it out for the autumn. Olive green, apparently, is the colour to be seen in. Although according to some other reports, it's actually moss green. Or green-grey. Or grey-green.

Isn't she wearing the jacket lopsidedly? No, it's got an asymmetrical collar, you philistine. And a rhinestone-studded hem, amazingly enough, to accompany the multiple-corded cleavage neckline.

I'm not sure I can take much more of this. Neither could Tony. He insisted he'd only come to the party because his wife had told him to and "I always say yes". After 30 minutes he made a swift exit to have dinner with President Chirac.

Do say: What Cherie said... "This really is the millennium," she noted to the assembled designers with impressive calendrical accuracy. "The designers have let their imaginations loose. It's all colour and decoration for spring: it's just so full of optimism!"

Don't say: "I'm sure I've seen that fabric somewhere before hang on a minute - what happened to the curtains?"

Not to be confused with: Roman baths, Ronan Keating, Teflon.

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