Monday, August 29, 2011

The Girl Talk









  1. And...I see my concerns about Teen Pact confirmed. I was never involved, but many of my friends were. I understand why they teach these things (they literally believe that men and women have vastly different roles, and while they may argue that these roles are equal, they are not), but it strikes me how much more successful movements like this could be if they trained their girls to be leaders rather than followers. What a waste.

  2. The weird thing is, I don't think they're really sure about how to implement what they teach about girls and women. For example, many of the young women who go through TeenPact DO end up being leaders - Elise Hall, an intern whom I knew personally, is now a state representative for Oklahoma. TeenPact really celebrates Elise (and Josh Cockroft, another former TeenPacter), but I think that's mostly because those two individuals are both extremely conservative (thanks, I'm sure, to TeenPact). I don't think TeenPact knows what to do with it's own teachings. They taught it was ok for women to be in the government, but it was with a subtle underlying understanding of "If the men won't step up to their God-given task, well, God's just going to rise up some women to do it instead!" I was never sure if it would be morally right for a married woman to be President of the US, because she would still have to be subject to her husband. It was very strange.


    It's awful that you had to do this, and awful for the humiliated girl. It probably left you both heartbroken. Makes me sad to think the same kind of thing has played out thousands and thousands of times, probably happening somewhere even now as I type this.

  4. No wonder that most of people that attended TeenPact were conservative homeschoolers. Can you imagine a "normal" homeschooler attending? They'd laugh through the whole thing!

    The leader that gave that national talk sounds a lot like a Bill Gothard type. Give marriage advice to young women and not even be married yourself.

  5. Hey, I was at that Convention and heard that same speech. I'd love to talk to you about it more privately, but I understand if you don't. I agree that it stands out as one of the most frightening and effed up things I heard there. At the time I was just beginning to recognize that it was wrong, even if I couldn't articulate it then the way I can now.

    I understand your desire to remain anonymous. I too, am close friends with several people still involved with the organization, several who were involved and hate it. I personally and politically think very differently than I did then. Sometimes I cringe at the ideas I nodded about and then taught as a staffer/intern. I've had to seek out women I hurt or asked to change or resented for not being as much of an "example" as I was back then, and they have forgiven me. I've let God's forgiveness soak into me and let it change me.

    I am grateful for the opportunities I had in TP to grow, travel, and have friends across the country. I remember some crazy things (I think a lot of those have been toned down now, by the way) and so much good. I wouldn't be as sure of my self, my God, or have the healing relationships I have now without it.

    I really hope you continue to blog this process. It's important. True friendships will understand your intentions and needs. No organization is perfect. I think it's okay to point out the mistakes and celebrate the things you enjoyed. TP is not nearly as bad as IBLP/ATI as far as mass damage caused, in my opinion, because the ideas we're AS extreme, nor was the scope. As more conservative people had more influence, TP got stricter for a while, but it's balanced out a bit from what I can tell. But please know that your healing is your own and whatever you need to remember or reflect is okay! Your pain is absolutely real, no matter what someone intended or is like now.

    I don't mind people knowing about the good and bad experiences I had with TP, so if you'd like to talk to someone, feel free to email me.

  6. I was attending one of the Teenpact classes in 2008, as a young teen, and I remember that "girl talk". It doesn't seem to have changed much. I was one of the more "normal" homeschoolers attending, and I did not enjoy my time there. In fact, I went out of my way to rebel against the dress code in ways that they couldn't actually punish, like wearing a sundress with a long skirt instead of somber business attire. I did not agree with their views, and one time, when a leader was playing devil's advocate, I agreed with him, instead of arguing against his "liberal" views.I don't think they were too proud of me.