Roman Polanski

Roman Polanski is a legendary director and an average rapist.

Polanski, in a rare moment of being with a girl above the age of 18.

Just The Facts

  1. Polanski has directed such classics as Rosemary's Baby, Chinatown, and The Pianist.
  2. He gave a 13 year-old girl Quaalude, raped her, and then hid in France for 30 years.
  3. There are people who actually believe fact #1 makes fact #2 perfectly okay.

Roman Polanski's Life

The Sad and Inspiring Stage

  • At the age of six, Polanski and his family were forced into the Krakow Ghetto during World War II (Polanski's father was Jewish). Polanski's mother would die in Auschwitz, his father would survive in an Austrian concentration camp. Polanski would escape Krakow at the age of ten.
  • In 1969, Polanski's wife Sharon Tate, who was 8 months pregnant, is murdered by followers of Charles Mansion. Polanski would write that the murder destroyed any remaining religious faith he previously had.
  • Polanski's struggle to direct films in his early career, and his eventual rise to fame as one of the greatest directors of all time.

The Opposite of the Sad and Inspiring Stage

  • In 1977, Polanski drugs and rapes a girl who is thirteen years old. Polanski is forty-four at the time. He pleads guilty, but eventually he flees to Europe where he is able to live in life in peace until his arrest on September 26, 2009 in a Switz airport.

Selected Filmography

Famous People Who Are Actually Defending Him

Woody Allen

Before you ask "Why, Woody?! Why?!" remember that this is a man who married his adopted step-daughter when he was fifty-six and she was twenty-two.

Fucking creepy minds think alike

David Lynch

To be fair, Lynch is kind of crazy - just look at his hair (also his entire film career). But Lynch is still a rational, smart person who makes reasoned decisions. And he's defending a child rapist. Child. Rapist.
On the other hand, even the crazy dude in Eraserhead wouldn't be caught on the same side of the street as Polanski.

And look at his hair.

Martin Scorsese
Noooooo not Scorsese! Seriously? The guy who directed Raging Bull and Goodfellas? Are you shitting us? Are you telling us that while one of the most influential directors of the last thirty years is okay with a child rapist (Child. Rapist.) not getting any jail time?
Do all these people seriously think that making some good movies is enough to excuse child rape? Are they that fucking thick in the head? Fucking Christ, even Jewel realizes how retarded this is and she's going to be on Dancing With the Stars.

like guys wtf coem on

Frederic Mitterrand

Nooooo not... wait who? If you're like us, you probably opened a new tab to look him up on Wikipedia, which says that he's France's Minister of Culture and Communication. Okay, so why is he defending Roman Polass-rapingski?

We here at Cracked like to go the extra mile, so we got a better idea of this guy through a look at some quotes from his autobiography, The Bad Life. Since this guy wrote it himself, it should be pretty honest, and we hate to give this guy the wrong impression before passing judgement. In it, he states:

"I got into the habit of paying for boys ... The profusion of young, very attractive and immediately available boys put me in a state of desire I no longer needed to restrain or hide."

Uhhhhhh what

Well we pulled that quote from Wikipedia, so maybe there's something that got lost in translation. You know, the part about where he fucks young boys. Fucks. Young. Boys. But you know who does have their shit together? The BBC. They won't print anything that's untrue.

In his 2005 book The Bad Life, he [Frederic Mitterrand] wrote: "I got into the habit of paying for boys," saying his attraction to young male prostitutes was not dimmed despite knowing "the sordid details of this traffic". (BBC)



Pfft, this whole thing has to be fake. Amazon might categorize the book as a "Memoir" and not "Derranged Child-Fucking Fiction", but we're sure he was kidding. (Interestingly, our tell-all memoir was categorized as "Children's Educational", so Amazon probably shouldn't be trusted) But really, who could have such a damanged sense of morality and still manage to be a smart, well-educated, high-profile public figure?

Oh yeah, right. It all comes full circle

Seriously though Roman Polanski raped an eighth-grader. That's the exact opposite of an after-school special. Sure, he directed the Pianist and Chinatown, but we here at Cracked stand firmly behind the stance that Fuck that guy he is a rapist.

Gore Vidal
For those of you who aren't English majors, Vidal is famous for quite a few things. He wrote The City and the Pillar, the first American novel to portray homosexuality as something natural, and was blacklisted for this work. He wrote Myra Beckinridge, an acclaimed book where the titular transvestite character rapes a dude using a strap-on dildo, which was later adapted into one of the worst movies of all time. He wrote the screenplay to what was basically a three hour porno about the roman emperor who fucked his horse and threw crazy-ass orgies. Gore Vidal is not on this list for any of those things; they have no relevance to his being here, just background info.
Vidal is here because he called the girl that Polanski had sex with "a young hooker," and that Polanski is being persecuted because he's Jewish.
Now we're not saying that Vidal might be an awful human being without a shred of humanity for calling a thirteen year-old rape victim a hooker, and we're not saying that he might be complete fucktard for saying that people are hounding him for his race and not because he raped someone.
No, we're saying he is all those things.