Joke of the day

Joke of the day

Every man needs a go-to joke.

Joke N° 4670
Tennis Elbow
Two men are playing tennis when one of the men falls and hits his elbow on the court. He tells his partner that he has to stop playing to visit his doctor. "Don't waste any money on a doctor," the other man says, "just go inside the store at the corner, put $10 in the machine in the back, piss in the cup and let it do its thing. A slip of paper will come out telling you what you have." So he goes to the store, puts $10 in the machine, pisses in the cup and a piece of paper comes out proclaiming: "You have tennis elbow. take this ointment cream and apply it on your elbow three to four times daily." The man is so amazed that he goes home and collects his sister's urine, his brother's urine and his dog's urine and puts it into a single cup. Then, just for good measure, he includes a personal semen sample in the cup as well. Once he's done, the man goes back to the store, inserts $10 and places the cup in the machine. After a moment, the paper comes out and says: "Your sister has gonorrhea, your brother is gay, your dog has worms, and if you keep jacking off like that you'll never lose that tennis elbow."
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4671
Dinner for Two
"And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two. "No, thank you," the gentleman replied: "That will be all." As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. "Anything for your wife?" he asked. "Yeah! That's a good idea!" the fellow said. "Please bring up a postcard."
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4672
Gimme a Beer!
One Friday night, a 17-year-old boy went into a bar and sat down at a table in the corner of the pool room. When the waitress walked over to his table, the teenager said: "Gimme a beer." The waitress eyed him for a moment and said: "Look, sonny. Do you want to get me in trouble?" The boy glanced back at her and replied: "Maybe later. Right now all I want is a beer."  
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4673
The Write Stuff
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4674
Playing Doctor
After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbors' boy, the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear, dragged him to his house and confronted his mother. "It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age," the neighbor said. "Sexuality my ass!" the mother yelled: "He took out her appendix!"
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4675
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and was quite itchy.  The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. The teacher went back to investigate, only to find the boy sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.  "I thought I told you to call your mother!" she said. "I did," he said, "and she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 4676
Special Talent
A man is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without underwear. The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires: "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I'm sorry," replies the man and promises to avert his eyes. "It's OK," replies the woman: "It's very talented -- watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough, it blows him a kiss. The man, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else it can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. The man stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. The man moves over and is asked: "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, the man replies: "Good grief! Can it whistle too?!"
Ryan Murphy

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