Getting Your Lover to Love...Houseboating

Published online: Feb 15, 2013 Feature Roy Sparks


Not all hobbies can (or should) be shared, but houseboating is definitely one activity that can best be enjoyed with your spouse. But even though boating can be one of the most enjoyable and rewarding experiences of our life, there can be a right way and a wrong way to introduce your spouse into boating.  


1 Start Slowly

Gaining trust and confidence can go a long way and it's important to show your spouse you have the knowledge and skills to correctly operate a houseboat. If you happen to be new to boating, make sure your first trips build that confidence. Choose calm weather days when your lake is less crowded and keep your itinerary simple. 


2. Mistakes Welcomed



Plus, by allowing for mistakes without letting it ruin your day, you'll also make life afloat more pleasant for your partner. Houseboats are tough and often forgiving. Don't let a misjudged dock approach become a big deal. Remember boats are far easier to mend than broken relationships.

3. Positive Reinforcement

Face it: enthusiasm is contagious. Instead of focusing on lectures, books or movies that emphasize the negative aspects of boating, look to include as many positive-reinforcement opportunities as you can. Plus have your wife talk to other female houseboaters and the enthusiasm is sure to grow.

4. Off Peak

While you're still gaining your spouse's confidence, avoid entering marinas at peak hours. When you come into a marina, all eyes are on you and the slightest mistake can escalate your anxiety, especially if you're trying to come into your slip during the busiest time of the day. Sometimes it's better just to anchor until the rush dies down or at least until the wind eases up a little to ensure a smoother experience.

If you're planning to anchor, forget trying to find a spot close to shore where it's crowded. Try anchoring a little farther out, even if it means a longer dinghy ride ashore. Picking a less busy day of the week to practice docking, anchoring, and mooring procedures without spectator pressures is a great way to not only build confidence, but to also help develop your own communication plan.

Another tip is to find way to make you houseboat easier to handle in marinas, such as clearing the side decks and adding easier-to-reach handholds to help you or your partner get off the boat quicker.


5. Discuss Yelling

Guys see yelling as just another form of communicating, especially when wind or other situations make it difficult to communicate effectively. While some women feel yelling is reserved for times of anger or fear. It's important to candidly discuss the difference because the memory of raised voices tends to linger in a woman's mind long after the incident has passed.

Here is one scenario that should be talked about: You're coming into the dock, the wind is picking up, the engine thumping and your partner on the back deck is 30 feet from you and is, by necessity, facing away from you. How can you make sure she hears you without yelling? Practice helps, especially when it comes to developing hand signals.


6. Outside The Box

Sometimes you need to get a little creative when you're trying to entice your partner into the boating life. Take a closer look at her hobbies and incorporate those interests into your time on the water. Does she love shopping and antique stores? Then dinghy ashore and stroll the shops with her in new towns you visit. Make time to come ashore and visit some of those places that she'll enjoy visiting.


And if she loves dining out, she'll love the experience of going into restaurants by boat. In no time your partner will connect boating with her interests and view the houseboat as a vehicle that opens her to new experiences that she loves.

7. Back Up Planning

One concern for many spouses is the fear of operating the houseboat themselves. Many women don't know how to troubleshoot or fix engines, generators or electrical systems. Some might not be familiar with a VHF radio. One major fear for some women is how they'd bring the boat home should the engine and electronic gear give out, or something happen to the skipper. Some boating schools now offer courses on how to bring your boat back into port alone, anchor, then contact assistance should a partner be out of commission. Women do worry about this scenario. Address it together and you'll have removed one more obstacle to boating.

8. Honesty

Despite what photos and advertisements might lead you to believe, houseboating isn't always easy, and isn't always romantic. If you lead your spouse into thinking otherwise, you're leading yourself astray, too. Furthermore, even the most sumptuous 50-foot houseboats will never have the space or convenience of a small apartment on shore. So don't lure your partner afloat on the premise that it will be more comfortable.

Let's be honest, boating is physical. You must carry everything you use from the shore to the boat. You have to store things so they don't get loose and blow out while underway. This means you'll always need to move one thing to get something else, which is a hassle. When you actually set off on a cruise, learn to give each other physical and mental space. Be realistic, and talk about it more as an intimate adventure that will connect you to nature.


Following the suggestions in this article is a good step in the right direction to getting your spouse to love houseboating like you do, but don't be afraid to make your own adjustments and personalize these tips to your own needs. 

