Barton: The power of positive thinking can make a person stronger

Emotional Fitness

From time to time, we all think and say negative things to ourselves. It's relatively normal. Unfortunately, when thinking this way becomes a regular habit, it can keep you from enjoying life, reaching your goals or even finding love.

One of the ways to break this habit is to become aware of the negative thoughts while they are happening. This kind of mindfulness can turn the experience into a positive one. Being conscious of what's going on inside your head and around your life really helps reduce your tension.

If you know you're stressed out, try taking a patience pill. Do that by telling yourself that you need to go with the flow until the uncomfortable or negative thoughts or moments pass.

Many times we think in the negative when we're not feeling that good about ourselves. Perhaps your boss, partner or parents got on your case or didn't come through with a promise, which can leave you feeling low. In real life, this is sometimes hard to avoid.

But being aware of how you are really feeling in the moment gives you the ability to change the energy and protect yourself by purposely thinking positive thoughts.

This is not the same thing as being a Pollyanna. Using your own brain to help you resolve a difficult moment is a tried-and-true technique that will assist you in shifting your mood.

Appreciating where you are and what you have also helps.

You also need to commit to yourself that you're not going to let the painful emotions or situations run your life or suck you in.

Use the power of positive thinking to keep a bad moment from becoming a lifestyle.

Here are some additional tips to help you get started:

n Make a mental list of what is working in your life. This helps set the tone for moving through a difficult time. Then look at how you've dealt with other challenges for additional internal support.

n Remember "The Little Engine That Could"? Say to yourself, "I think I can." Or, "I know I can" may work even better.

n When you catch yourself thinking, "I'm not good enough," stop the negative thought and actually say, "I'm canceling that out." Then put a positive statement like "I've succeeded before and I can do it again" in its place.

Another reason to put a plus sign in your mind's minus column is that negative thoughts take energy away from you while positive ones give you more. Just do the math and you can see it's worth the effort.

Negative thinking isn't just a bad habit, it can do real harm to you and your loved ones, especially if you (or they) start to believe it.

So turn off that downer station in your head, tune into the good vibrations and don't be surprised if you find a song in your heart.

— Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist, can be reached at 818-879-9996 or via e-mail at He has lived and practiced in Westlake Village for more than a decade. Hear him live on KCLU Radio, 88.3 FM, from 1 to 2 p.m. Mondays.