Thursday 29 January 2015

Chelsea v Tottenham Hotspur: live

Follow minute-by-minute commentary of the Premier League game between Chelsea and Tottenham Hotspur at Stamford Bridge on Saturday March 8, 2014, kick-off 17.30 (GMT)

Chelsea v Tottenham: live
Flash point: Hugo Lloris and Samuel Eto'o exchange verbals Photo: GETTY IMAGES

FULL TIME: CHELSEA 4 TOTTENHAM 0 Don't really know what to say about that. Chelsea could have been two up within four minutes, Spurs were all over the shop, but they got their act together and it was fairly well matched - if dull - for an hour. Spurs then soiled themselves in the comedy style. First Vertonghen fell over and split his own defence open with a precise through ball for Eto'o, who celebrated with an "old man" comedy routine. The same Chelsea player then won a cheap penalty, which Hazard converted expertly. Kaboul was sent off for that.

I would say that the red card and penalty "killed it as a contest", but that would be to dignify Spurs with some degree of competence. They still had time for a smorgasbord of defensive disasters, two of which handed Demba Ba goals on a plate. Spurs were pathetic, and one can only sympathise with their fans.

John Terry, a football who I have always passionately disliked, now gives a most gracious and statesmanlike TV interview, accepting praise humbly and paying respect to his beaten opponents. He also deflects questions about an England return with good humour and humility. Well done him. And well done to his Chelsea team, who are now seven points clear at the top. If the other sides they play in their remaining nine games are one tenth as accommodating as Spurs, they cannot fail to win the League - despite what their manager might say.

Well, thanks for following this one with us. Goodnight.

90 mins: This is as dismal a capitulation as we have seen in the Premier League. Amateurish. The referee, who in fairness played some part with a soft red card, has had enough. End

Goal GOAL! And another! This is pitiful! Now it's Kyle Walker, under no pressure, and he attempts a daft back header, no awareness whatsoever, and right into the path of Demba Ba again. He slots it home with no problem. This is pathetic from Spurs. Two of the easiest goals Demba Ba will ever score, handed to him on a silver slaver within a minute and a half.

88 mins: Terrible from Tottenham. I can hear Alan Hansen warming up from here.

Goal GOAL! Another awful mistake at the back. This time Sandro is the guilty party. A cross comes in from the right, Sandro tries to flick the ball behind him, absolutely dreadful, ends up falling over what the hell is he playing at? There's Ba for the tap-in. Howler. CHELSEA 3 TOTTENHAM 0 (Ba 87)

85 mins: Azpilicueta into the book. The old "penalty-red card" double whammy has played its part today, sure, but in fairness I think Chelsea were very likely going to win at 0-0 and, at 1-0 even when it was 11v11, absolutely definitely going to win.

83 mins: Willian with the break. Crosses for Oscar..... Great chance.... Row Z! Ah, Butch Oscar.

82 mins: Good work from Demba Ba, the game still means a lot to him. Beats his full back, slides the ball across, but with Hazard lurking, Lloris pounces with a good save.

81 mins: Chelsea playing that ball around. The most interesting thing now is: can Mourinho have the brass nect to deny that they are title contenders? Seven points clear, playing like a machine....

79 mins: Quiet at the ground now, Chelsea lacking the rock and roll spirit to go for the throat. Happy just to take it easy as Spurs drag themselves around like a crippled old dog.

77 mins: Oh dear, looks like yet another injury for Spurs. Sandro needs some treatment. Manages to hobble back on.

74 mins: Walker with a mistake, the latest in the Spurs litany this evening, and Hazard is free. Good recovery run, though, from the Spurs man, and he harries the Belgian into a poor cross.

72 mins: Spurs have just one point from matches against the four sides above them this season. Today ain't going to change that; they're just being made to chase the ball around now.

Here's Eto'o's old-man act...

70 mins: From bad to worse for Spurs: captain Dawson has gone in the hamstring and is coming off; the splendidly named Ezekiel Fryers on in his stead.

68 mins: Ridonkulous block from Sandro on Oscar, he's blocking his path and shoving him like a cornerback with his hands full of wide reciever. This should be a yellow card (which would be bad news for Sandro, who is already on one) but one senses that the ref is trying to even things up after that soft red card.

66 mins: Delightful touch from Hazard to pluck the ball from ouf of the sky, he finds Eto'o, who tarries too long and loses the shooting chance.

65 mins: And we've all had enough of Schürrle, who has been a weak link. He's off, Willian is on.

63 mins: Paulinho on, Sigurdsson off.

62 mins: Chelsea open ten-man Spurs up like a tin o' beans, and it's only some poor control from Schurrle that saves another goalscoring opportunity.

60 mins: Well, those four minutes have surely wrapped this up. Whether or not you think that was a penalty, there's another argument to be had about whether it was a clear goalscoring chance. Eto'o's touch looked to be taking him into the path of Dawson, so....

Goal GOAL! They don't need to sit on 1-0. Dear me. Break down the left from Chelsea, the low cross comes in, and Eto'o goes down in the area. Kaboul has bundled him over. Arguably. Looks like Eto'o has made a meal of that, to me. Replay suggests as much. Gary Neville "Eto'o has done the referee there, done him like a kipper". Kaboul is sent off, Hazard steps up to take the penalty and drills it down the centre for the decisive goal. CHELSEA 2 TOTTENHAM 0 (Hazard 59 pen)

57 mins: Now Spurs just have to hang in there and hope that they can break Chelsea down, because God knows the hosts will be happy to sit on 1-0.

Goal GOAL! Oh no! Spurs had been looking under threat, and it's a howler for the goal. Vertonghen slips over in the left back role. That would have been bad, but he makes it infinitely worse by panicking and sliding the ball across his own penalty area. It could hardly have been a better through-ball for Samuel Eto'o had he tried. The striker takes a couple of steps forward, it looks for a minute that he's delayed too long, but he's finished through the keeper's legs. What a gift. CHELSEA 1 TOTTENHAM 0 (Eto'o 56) Eto'o goes over to the corner flag to mime a "decrepit old man" celebration by way of mocking his manager's comments about his age.

55 mins: Spurs under the pump again now. Ivanovic just picks the ball up and drives forward, Sandro brings him down and is booked. Marc writes:

Eto'o is a lot more than a prat. Like Torres he's lost a yard of pace and is launching into tackles that are high and late e.g. his knee high lunge at Jordan Henderson. If I can paramangle Julius Caesar : 'Eto'o Brutal.'

53 mins: Dawson hospital-passes it to Naughton, Hazard pounces on it, and Naughton has no choice but to foul the Chelsea forward. Booked.

51 mins: Schurrle in the action again, but his shot is wild.

50 mins: More enjoyable stuff so far in the second half. Matic plays the ball over Dawson, Eto'o touches it on, but Schurrle's shot is weak

48 mins: Spurs right up the other end though, winning a corner, and Kaboul gets a good leap on Terry. Firm header, but it's right at Cech. More "since last win at Stamford Bridge..." stats. Tim Sherwood is the 15th manager since Spurs took three points away from here.

47 mins: Cross from Schurrle and Eto'o isn't a million miles away from turning that in.

46 mins: Good run, though, from Jan Vertonghen, and he tries an ambitious chip that sails over.

18.30 The players are back out. Ah, Butch Oscar is coming on. That might give Chelsea a bit more, how to put it, coherence between the front and the back of their team. Lampard the man who makes way.

HALF TIME: Exciting start, but then not a lot to write home about for the following 40 minutes. Defences on top. See you in a bit.

45 mins: Just a couple of minutes of extra time. This game is now officially not much fun to watch. Decent performances from both sides' defensive central midfields, but not a lot of flair or attacking excitement to tell you about. Chelsea win a late corner, but it's cleared easily. That's half time.

43 mins: Kabul tackles Eto'o, perfectly fairly. The Cameroonian has a tantrum. I used to really like Samuel Eto'o, before he came to play in England, but I must say: he seems like a bit of a prat, judging by the on-pitch behaviour. Quite clearly not the player he was, which must be frustrating.

42 mins: Matic wins a corner, and it's slipped to Lampard for a brutal shot, charged down by some unfortunate Spurs defender; flew so quickly I coulnd't see who.

40 mins: Poor from Spurs. They lack creativity and cannot find any space in the Chelsea danger areas. Dawson pumps the ball forward for a goal kick.

39 mins: Lampard into the book for a double-footer on Sandro.

38 mins: Hard yards for Adebayor, he cannot really get any decent ball, and his role at the moment seems to be just to shove Azpi about.

36 mins: Walker does the thing he was selectd to do - bully Hazard off the ball - but he cannot marry the Brahma with the Shiva, and the attempt at a cross is a pale imitation of the way he breaks up the play.

32 mins: Matic shields that Chelsea back line, he makes it very hard for Spurs to link up their attacking players with Adebyaor, or whichever Spurs man is most advanced. If you want obnoxious chanting in the PL, it's hard to beat a Chelsea-Spus game, isn't it?

29 mins: Terrible back pass from Bentaleb, Eto'o pounces on it. He runs at the goal. This is some magnficent, playground style ball-hogging. He's got Schurrle on the right but frankly you'll have to pry this ball off him with a crowbar. Selfish run and a selfish shot, straight at the keeper. Chelsea should have scored.

26 mins: Spurs enjoying a decent little spell, but it will be curtalied for the moment at least because Ivanovic is hurt after a challenge with Vertonghen. Adebyaor had played Lennon in for an unimpressive shot.

25 mins: Exciting start, but not much to write home about in the last 20 mintues or so.

22 mins: Snap shot from Sandro - I'd go as far as to call it a freak. Weak cross into the Chelsea box, Cahill fluffs the clearance and Sandro nails an athletic volley at high pace. Beate away by Cech.

21 mins: Matic chops down Walker when the latter was making decent progress. Dawson wants him booked.

20 mins: Good interception from Dawson as Lamps nearly slides Eto'o in.

19 mins Spurs have got a foothold in the game now, and indeed a freekick when Azpluchelseafullbackbloke fouls Lennon. Freekick is most harmless.

18 mins: I like that he uses English words like "ambiance" in his French tweets. Clever.

14 mins: Still, that's why we like football, isn't it? The best team doesn't always win. Suddenly, Bentaleb is allowed to run at the defence, Chelsea stand off, but sadly he screws the shot wide.

12 mins: Hate to say it, because I quite like Spurs, but there looks a big gulf in class between these sides. Tottenham look like they're running into a brick wall when they advance over the halfway line.

10 mins: Neat play by Chelsea down the left, Hazard with the cross, but sadly for Chelsea, all three of their men in the area have gone near post and it sails over them. An email from Marc Melander:

E-mail No 'Sunshine on Leith' for you today then Tyers! Getting £50m for a crocked Torres was brilliant business by Liverpool and then they ruined it by wasting most of it on Oh Carroll.

8 mins: Ramires skins Bentaleb, who hauls him down, calculatedly, and gets a yellow for his troubles.

7 mins: Spurs at least have a corner. Cleared easily.

6 mins: Spurs just about getting into the game, albeit that they could easily be two down already. Sigurdsson is playing almost as a second striker alongside, even ahead of, Adebayor.

4 mins: Spurs backline is far too high up, they've been carved open for a second time. Eto'o breaks free, and slips it to the onrushing Hazard in the inside-right role. Hazard goes round the keeper, Lloris again sliding in wildly - he could arguably have had two red cards already! Hazard is round Lloris, the goal is open, but he cannot get his body around the ball, running as he is at high pace, and his shot is wide.

3 mins: Samuel Eto'o is okay to continue. Harard down the right, Schurrle left. Chelsea with what Gurreh Neville calls "a genuine 4-3-3".

1 mins: Drama from the first whistle as Chelsea slide a ball through. Lloris tries to come out, but he's slow. Eto'o is flagged offside - incorrectly, judging from the replay. Eto'o, racing at full pace, gets the full force of Lloris sliding into him, and is in some pain. Chelsea cannot afford to lose another striker!

17.28 Handshakes. Wait, now even the mascot goes along the line shaking hands? Is that a thing now? I'm not begruding this young person a nice moment, I just don't recall seeing that before. Anyone? Surely only weeks away from the first racist/vile handshake incident involving a child.

17.25 Poor old Nando. Another setback. When one used to watch him at Liverpool, you honestly thought he would be spoken of in the same breath as Shearer/Drogba/Henry/RVN in terms of Premier League strikers.

17.20 BREAKING! BROKEN! Fernando Torres has limped off in the warm-up. Promising youngster Samuel Eto'o will start instead.

17.10 Some fans protesting outside the ground about the situation with Russia and the Ukraine.

17.05 However those 11 Spurs players are arrayed, they face a tough ask to score against Chelsea. Terry and Cahill have started 19 matches together in the League and only let in 10 goals.

17.02 The pre-match is debate is to as how Spurs will line up, will they play Naughton at right back and Walker as a right midfielder to spike the threat of Eden Haward? What if Hazard then goes to play behind the striker?

17.00 "Mourinho says it will be a difficult game. They are the team that is just behind the top four. Spurs have made some changes, but we try to guess how they are going to play."

16.50 Man alive. My team, Hibs, were 2-0 down at home to Motherwell, got it back to 2-2, went ahead, gloriously.

Obviously, Motherwell with the injury time equaliser.

Why do we bother, eh?

16.45 So here are the Tottenham men charged with doing the business, and the Chelsea XI hoping to keep the meter running on that hoodoo.

Chelsea: Cech, Ivanovic, Cahill, Terry, Azpilicueta, Lampard, Matic, Ramires, Hazard, Schurrle, Torres. Subs: Oscar, Mikel, Ba, Willian, Schwarzer, Eto'o, Kalas.

Spurs: Lloris, Naughton, Dawson, Kaboul, Vertonghen, Sandro, Bentaleb, Walker, Sigurdsson, Lennon, Adebayor. Subs: Paulinho, Soldado, Townsend, Chadli, Friedel, Fryers, Kane.

Referee: Michael Oliver (Northumberland)

16.40 I highly recommend this piece by Jonathan Liew about the 1990 League meeting between these two sides, in which he talks to former Chelsea midfielder John Bumstead and ex-Spurs' favourite David Howells.




Nice quotes from both of them. I especially enjoyed the closer.

Quote “It (the Spurs record at the Bridge since) is incredible,” says Howells, now director of football at Charterhouse School. “Every year it comes around, and I get a phone call like this. Let’s bury the hatchet now. I don’t need this five minutes of fame every year.”


16.35 Is there reason to suspect that Tottingham can rack up their second win in just 24 years at the Bridge? Well, possibly. Probably not.

16.30 Afternoon all, Tyers here. We've already enjoyed one cracking match to day (Arsenal 4 Everton 1) and one with some controversy (West Brom 0 Man Utd 3, RVP should have been sent off). Can Chelsea and Spurs serve up a satisfying third course?

The last time Spurs won at Stamford Bridge, Nelson Mandela had just been released from prison, The Simpsons was making its debut on Fox, and James 'Buster' Douglas was KO-ing Iron Mike Tyson. Football had not yet become the entertainment mega-product it is today; indeed, football fans were regarded not as walking wallets, but as walking thugs. In short, it was a long time ago. So much so, younger readers may be amazed to hear, that TV's Gary Lineker scored the winner. Here is the Queen Mum of Football doing just that:


Alan Tyers will be here about an hour before kickoff to bring all the team news and build-up to the big game at Stamford Bridge, Chelsea v Tottenham Hotspur.

In the meantime, here's John Ley's match preview.

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