This week

What we've learned...

Catholicism is to surpass Anglicanism to become the biggest religion in Britain, thanks to an influx of Catholic immigrants from eastern Europe

Some 1,200 bikes are stolen every day in the UK

Three hundred drivers a week are caught breaking the 20mph limit on Tower Bridge


...and what we haven't

Whether road pricing will go ahead. Minister Stephen Ladyman called it 'inevitable' in spite of promises to heed an online petitionFrom here to paternity


Prince Frederick von Anhalt

The mystery will be over soon, but for the moment Prince Frederick von Anhalt is the decided dark horse in the race to pretend to be the father of the late Anna Nicole Smith's baby, behind her lawyer, her ex-boyfriend, her bodyguard and a former stalker currently serving a seven-year stretch in a California state prison. Von Anhalt's insistence that he might be the real father is all the more remarkable - he filed a paternity suit this week - given that he is principally known for being the ninth husband of 90-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor and for attempting to sue the makers of Viagra after claiming the drug made him impotent. Almost everything else about the man, from his real age to the manner in which he came by his "title", is the subject of speculation; his Wikipedia entry makes for fascinating reading. He remains a long shot in the paternity stakes, but you have to admit he'd make a great dad

Eva Wisnierska

Eva Wisnierska was training for the Paragliding World Championships in Australia when she found herself in the path of a thunderstorm over New South Wales. Trapped in the storm's convection currents and surrounded by lightning, she was whisked up to 30,000ft - the cruising altitude of a 747, where oxygen is in short supply and the temperature is about -50C - whereupon she blacked out. After 40 minutes she came to, piloted herself out of the clouds and landed safely. When rescuers found her she was still covered in ice, but she escaped without injury, apart from frostbite. Undaunted, Wisnierska still hopes to compete in the championships later this month. It seems somehow inappropriate to wish her good luck

Omar Sharif

A few decades ago any parking valet would have considered it an honour to be punched by the legendary Omar Sharif, but we live in coarser times, and this week the elegant Egyptian actor entered a plea of no contest (a more refined form of guilty) to misdemeanour battery over an incident in 2005. It had been alleged that the 74-year-old Sharif, upon leaving a Beverly Hills restaurant, became upset that his SUV wasn't waiting there for him - a state of mind exacerbated by the valet's refusal to accept a 20 euro note as a tip. He countered this effrontery by calling the valet a "stupid Mexican" (close, he was Guatemalan) and breaking his nose. Sharif has now been fined and ordered to attend anger management classes. Prior to this he hadn't hit anyone since 2003. At his age shouldn't he be allowed to hang on to this anger?

News for... feng shui enthusiasts

Residents of the Chinese village of Lihua were bemused to discover that a nearby disused quarry had been painted green by a team of seven painters, at the behest of the local forestry bureau. The job took 45 days and cost approximately £31,000. When villagers asked the painters what they were doing, they were told that the paint job was part of a plan to adjust the hill's feng shui before the construction of the forestry departments new offices just opposite. "How could they be so superstitious?" asked one resident, apparently unable to believe that such nonsense was still practised in this day and age. Meanwhile Los Angeles Zoo has hired a feng shui expert to design its new monkey house. "We don't have any books on feng shui for monkeys," says feng shui consultant Simona Mainini. We just have to assume that Darwin is correct and that there is a connection and what is good for humans is good for monkeys." Yes. That sort of scientific rigour makes all the difference.

Zeitgeist dictionary

L'Oreal philosophy The prevailing school of thought among baby-boomers, according to shadow education secretary and haircare expert David Willets, which encourages the individual to focus on "me here now - because I'm worth it"

Johnny Tax A levy on the domestic assets of French tax exiles proposed by Socialist presidential candidate Ségolène Royal and named after singer Johnny Hallyday, who moved to Switzerland and is applying for Belgian citizenship in order to avoid paying tax

What they said

"New Jersey is a big area for us. There's no snow and lots of disposable income"

Matt Pitman of Snow at Home, manufacturers of snow-making machines for the growing US domestic market.

"Sooner or later, Bullwinkle is going to stomp somebody"

Sandpoint, Ohio police chief Mark Lockwood, warning residents about the five moose which have recently moved into town.

"Do A 49 Whitchurch skrec w nastepna droge w prawo"

Road sign directing Polish motorists round a temporary diversion near Crewe. It says: "For A49 to Whitchurch turn right at next junction"