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Monday, December 21, 2009

Okay, I'm Talking About Sex


















  1. You are very brave to write about this. I also felt/feel sort of unwhole, not attractive, etc. I can hardly look at myself at times. Like you I am lucky to have a wonderful, loving, and sweet husband. A partner who is also a friend (not everyone is lucky enough to have a friend for a husband/lover) is turning out to be the cure for many many things in life.

  2. Hi, nice post. I came through this while googling about sex and prosthesis.
    My concern: I "might" get going around with someone with two prosthetic legs. Considering I thought I would have an awesome sex life, I am feeling too awkward to think about this. I haven't voiced my concerns to him, but am too scared to hurt his ego if I do. Does it affect sex life? Will he be able to do things like an ordinary man? How does it feel to have nothing below knee while having sex? Please help me. Sorry, if it offends you or anyone out there, am just too laymanly concerned. I do not want to be repelled by the sight and say "NO" or feel sorry at that time.

  3. Anonymous--
    It shouldn't affect his abilities to perform sexually (assuming that the cause of his amputation didn't affect the genitals etc.) Some positions might be different, or adapted, but I'm sure he will take the lead. Keep a sense of humor and adventure. Have you seen his limbs yet? If you haven't seen the residual limb before? If not then you might want to prepare yourself for scars etc.. Maybe offer a nice massage first to desensitize yourself first? Feel free to contact me via email if you have more specific questions... amputeemommy@gmail.com

  4. Thanks a lot...no I haven't seen his limbs yet. Since he was a premature baby, he was born with no limbs below knee. About genitals, I need to question him , and hope it won't be an embarrassing one :) I am so glad to hear this btw. I will get in touch if more doubts :) Thanks once again!

  5. My husband is a above the knee amptee and paralyzed on one side. We have issues every now and then but satifaction is always met. Openess love communication sensitivity all play a big role but it all works out in the end.
    Knowing your partner very well helps. The beauty is the person not their body.

  6. Thank you so much for posting this. I came across this googling sex with an amputee. I, myself, am a recent above the knee amputee and have had many doubts about performing with my partner intimately. He reassured me that we would take it slow & we did. I just feel a whole lot better knowing there are other people that are in a similar situation as me. Unfortunately, where I am from, there is not one amputee support group. Thanks again for posting. :)

  7. Hi Peggy.
    Thank you for your post. I hope this will help my mother. She is 66 healthy but got cancer and had to have a full leg amputation. My father worries about how they will be able to have a healthy sex life again. I believe its possible but I worry more about how my mother will feel. She's such a beautiful strong woman.. I want to help them both as much as I can.

  8. Hello :) I am dating/going to marry (he doesn't know it yet HAHA) a below knee amputee, been together a little under a year. I initially wasn't worried, still not worried about our sex life. We haven't actually "done the deed" but that's another story. He is however, the most wonderful and amazing man I have ever known... to the point I forget about the BKA.
    -The first time I saw his stump, I asked if I could see it, and just gently asked questions about his pain and how it feels, etc. You have to feel him out to know when would be a good time to talk... Although when you're making-out, they're always distracted wink wink. Good Luck, and love the other person regardless. They ARE still a whole, NORMAL person; they happen to have a limb missing.

  9. Hi!Thank you for this wonderful post Peggy. I am concerned because I'm a 30 year old quadrilateral amputee and I am afraid of my sexuality. That's great for alot of you because you belong to a committed relationship. I'm single and I am worried about getting back my sex life as well as when I start dating when and how do I tell the guy I am an amputee x4 if he doesn't already know. I'm afraid that I will never meet someone who will except me. Please help.

  10. I am so very glad for you in that you have a very supportive man in your life! The two of you can explore a new option or style of intimacy as well as a continuation of the original! Unfortunately in my case my wife of 21 years wasn't so accepting. She left after my first below the knee amputation. Oh she waited for three weeks till I came home but 45 minutes later she tells me that she takes care of sick people all day at work and didn't want to come home to it. Then 6 months later I lost the other leg. I won't tell you what she did then, let's just say it was a lot worse. Well now I am healed and am even training to compete in a triathlon. The problem I face now is women are so shallow that they are freaked out by the legs and don't want to get involved. They say I am very attractive and the sweetest thing but can't deal with my situation! If you don't think that is an ego buster!!!