Stumbling through parenthood with Nicki Britton and Andrew Dansby

Awkward Santa letters and other treasures


The kid has written to Santa each year. We have filed the letters rather than sending them to the local paper because . . . well, in a city this size the local paper doesn’t print them anyway.

Not true of the Hope Star, the newspaper of Hope, Arkansas. We stumbled upon this goldmine a few years ago when visiting Grammy and Papoux. I clipped them and saved some of the best. Below are four of my favorites.

The bro:

I will be needing these items to stock my bachelor pad.

The existentialist:

Is monotony of life worthwhile? What is the meaning of it all?

The judger:

You are fat! How ARE you? You are fat! How's the wife? What are you going to bring me? You are fat!

The potty-mouth:

It's so easy to forget to write the 'r' in 'shirt.'

Maybe that last bit was a typo on the part of the newspaper editor. Or perhaps the kid didn’t want “cheerleader shirt” but rather a shirt minus the “r.” I’ll never know. And that makes the letter more magical.

Categories: General
Andrew Dansby

4 Responses

  1. Jason says:

    Oh wow! I can’t stop laughing at that last letter. I’m really want that to not be a typo and that’s really what the kid asked for.

  2. richeyrich says:

    Kids are hilarious.

  3. neona says:

    For more fun, get a group on Kinder-3rd graders together, and ask them to write about how to cook a turkey. Do NOT try and drink anything while reading their responses. =D
    These letters are EPIC =)