Top Ten Thursday: Angels Jokes That Need to Be Retired

Eating, sleeping and breathign Angels baseball is a great way to live… most of the time.  However, there are a few things I could do without; chief amongst them is the collection of Angel-related jokes that have been beaten to death over the years.  I think it is high time we identify these lingering pieces of unoriginal humor and ban them from the Halosphere once and for all.

Beating a dead horse

  1. Jeff Mathis only getting to play because he has incriminating pictures of Scioscia.  Technically, this isn’t a joke because it is probably true, but I think we can all agree that hearing this same punchline for the last five years is only slightly less frustrating than actually watching Mathis play.
  2. Too bad Jered Weaver is going to end up a Yankee.  Not only is it a bad joke, but it is also something that just isn’t going to happen, making it unfunny and factually inaccurate.
  3. Fernando Rodney crooked hat jokes.  I’m just as guilty as anyone of this, but this one has been beaten to death, brought back to life and killed all over again.
  4. “The Angels scored a run, hell must’ve frozen over!”  The Angel offense is terrible, but it isn’t that bad… OK, maybe it is, but I think we can all do better than that.
  5. Any joke about Kendrys Morales’ walk-off broken ankle.  I’m not tired of the jokes in this case, but rather they depress the hell out of me.
  6. It sure would be nice to get fired from my job and make $10 million like Kazmir.  This joke is less than 24 hours old and I already hate it.
  7. In a bases loaded situation, joking that the Angels are obviously going to ground into a double play.  This needs to stop not because it isn’t funny, but rather because it is making too many people look like Nostradamus.
  8. Mike Scioscia Fat jokes.  Hey, be nice!  Sosh is looking a little bit slimmer, no?  Is it just me?  Maybe I’m just sensitve about my own weight.  Man, I really need to work out.
  9. “I remember when Torii Hunter used to be alive.”  There is a pretty good chance I am the only one making that joke, but it needs to go away.  Hunter sucks this year, but he’s been such a good guy that he deserves more respect than that.
  10. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of (insert some obscure locale here) jokes.  Halo fans never make this joke, but everyone else does.  Seriously, people, the name change happened 6+ seasons ago.  Get over it already.
Garrett Wilson

About Garrett Wilson
