Picking the right tool for the job

If you've never fired a pistol before, you might be surprised how difficult it is to get a headshot with one. The skull is a small target, sporadically bobbing upon the jerky torso of a reanimated corpse. Even for expert marksmen, a head shot is rare — this is real life, not Counter-Strike. On the other hand, where as rusty chainsaws strapped to your hand have an undeniable post-apocalyptic je ne sais quoi, it is probably unwise to get in close contact with a zombie until you're a more experienced zombie hunter.

So how to combine the practical with the bitchingly cool? Why not try the trusty staple of all Deathhackers: the cobalt-blue sawed-off shotgun loaded with Polymag titanium pellet shells? Effective, with a wide spread, you can maintain medium distance from your target while still being guaranteed a satisfying skull pop of festering brains.

Make sure you've got a Plan B. Shotguns can jam. Zombies can surprise you. A general rule of thumb is you want at least three types of tools: short range, medium range and crowd control. Your short range weapon should be a gouging weapon, capable of easily piercing the occipital lobe through the black jelly of an undead eye alike. Ear canals are also good targets. A philips head screwdriver is ideal. Your shotgun will be your medium range tool. For crowd control, you have many choices, but we prefer molotov cocktails. Easy to use, easy to make, an excellent way to burn a path through the insatiable horde.

Finally, it's better to cripple a zombie than wait for the one-shot, one-kill. If you can't get that head shot, why not aim lower and shred the kneecaps? While a zombie is still a danger in such circumstances, its moment of discombobulation will give you ample opportunity to leisurely reload and finish it off under less stressful circumstances. Just remember: a zombie stops being dangerous only when there's a bullet nestled in its brain. We all remember Gene Simmons decapitated gourd rolling up Santa Monica boulevard, pulling itself in for the kill with its twenty foot tongue.