I recently asked this question, and one thing I noticed was that, even though I pretty clearly stated that I understand the importance of primary keys in databases (but that it's avoidable in my particular situation), I still got responses about how important primary keys are in databases.

Of course, in this situation, I didn't receive too much backlash, but I've certainly seen other questions where the answer never surfaces because of all the answers (or comments) discussing the merits of doing it however the poster believes to be the right way.

In short: if an OP is trying to avoid letting a detail unrelated to a question from derailing the conversation, what can they do if/when it starts to happen? (Keep in mind that this is, of course, assuming that the details are indeed unrelated!)

Edit: it seems as though I've received a downvote for this question; could whoever did that please explain what they dislike about this?

Dan, you are referring to downvotes on the main site. Like I said, downvotes on meta are meant to show disagreement. –  Anonymous Jul 30 '14 at 2:30
You got exactly one "response about how important primary keys are in databases". –  EJP Jul 30 '14 at 2:31
@DanCallahan: Voting is different on meta. says "On posts tagged feature-request, voting indicates agreement or disagreement". In practice, it is not limited to feature-request tag. –  J.F. Sebastian Jul 30 '14 at 2:38
I'm guessing part of the reason this question is being downvoted is the intentionally inflammatory title. Is calling people who are trying to help you "naggy mothers" really necessary? –  David Robinson Jul 30 '14 at 2:46
I have seen SQL questions where the asker has a very specific question about something unrelated to SQL injection, and people answer the question only with how to parameterize the query properly and avoid SQL injection. Not even bothering to answer the question. It's annoying and I downvote these answers, even though they do provide useful information that I think OP should take into account. If the "backlash" is only in comments, I'd just ignore/explain why you're doing things the way you're doing them. –  eddie_cat Jul 30 '14 at 14:40
Using sexist language like 'Naggy mother' is unacceptable. There are plenty of ways of getting your meaning across without resorting to inflammatory and offensive language. Also: You don't get points for trying to be funny, you get points for posting quality content. –  George Stocker Jul 30 '14 at 20:25
@DanCallahan I never accused you of sexism, I accused you of using language that is sexist. 'naggy mother' is indeed sexist language. Instead of being hurt that I'm calling you on it, recognize that such language is inappropriate in a professional setting and refrain from using it in the future. –  George Stocker Jul 31 '14 at 19:19
@GeorgeStocker Accusing someone of using sexist language is the same as calling them sexist in all but the most pedantic of differences. I'm not hurt, I'm annoyed that, instead of providing commentary that would push this conversation in the correct direction, you're simply being one of those people I'm talking about. As a mod, I'd assumed I could expect better from you. The point of this post is to discuss people who derail the conversation; if you don't like the wording of it, edit it (as you have), flag it, or close it. Derailing the conversation is literally the worst thing you could do –  Dan Callahan Jul 31 '14 at 19:23

2 Answers 2

up vote 11 down vote accepted

First, make sure you have really adequately explained your special situation, and the comment really does not raise any point you should clarify / address some more.
In nearly every case, you can stop reading right here.

There's a simple reason we expect the asker to explain why he does something inefficient, too complicated, error-prone or even downright dangerous.
For the same reason, it can be reasonable to presume the asker does not understand anyway:

In many cases, even if the he stated that he is aware of the fact, he might not appreciate all the down-sides, or the reason he gave is not sufficient to accept them (common sense should apply here).

The situation is actually so bad that answerers will often comment or even answer after quick-scanning and recognizing one of the dozen common mistakes in the field, in the reasonable assumption that they have already identified the actual problem (I specifically do not exonerate myself here).

Referring to "but I'm a special snowflake" (no you are not (99.99% certainty)!!), this even applies to theoretical questions where OP states they want to understand what something does even though they would never use it, because it it a) and b) and certainly c) as well, because many answerers are de-sensitized.

Last but not least, if you insist on proposing / doing something an unorthodox way, you are quite likely to receive exhortations to follow the one true way.
Indicating that other way as well might get you off without downvotes, but will not redeem you in the eyes of the true acolytes.

Accept that this is the internet, and a certain amount of dross will always be with us; a thick skin is a valuable and neccessary asset, but don't forego reading and understanding, or you become part of the problem.

Someone on the internet is wrong. –  Tiny Giant Sep 24 at 23:34

I'd suggest either listening to them or explaining why this is a special exception. Because when someone claims "but I'm a special snowflake" they're almost always wrong.

I feel like it's a little silly to expect every user to explain why they're doing something that they've clearly considered, but I guess that's just the nature of the beast. –  Dan Callahan Jul 30 '14 at 2:24
I feel its more than a little arrogant to come somewhere because you need help and not listen to the advice given because it isn't the advice you want. –  Gabe Sechan Jul 30 '14 at 2:28
@Dan: The problem is too many askers don't know. The oher one is speed-reading and pattern-recognition: After the 234th time you see OP doing the same bad thing in (insert tag here), you expect it, and automatically fire off the coment without making double-sure it's appropriate. –  Deduplicator Jul 30 '14 at 2:30
@Gabe: He said he explicitly mentioned in the question that yes, he knows, but for some reason wants do do it that way anyway. So, the advice is simply inappropriate. –  Deduplicator Jul 30 '14 at 2:32
@Deduplicator I like how you're defending both sides of this conversation, haha. Anyways, that's a fair point. On truly unrelated questions (see EJP's comment on the my question above), should I just flag them? I'm assuming that's the proper recourse here. –  Dan Callahan Jul 30 '14 at 2:36
Why do you think the comment needs to be flagged, @Dan? –  Michael Petrotta Jul 30 '14 at 2:40
I've flagged it, but I mentioned which was bothering me in my comment. –  Dan Callahan Jul 30 '14 at 2:42
@Deduplicator I'm actually totally fine with your comment that starts "The problem is that too many askers don't know" - make it a response and I'll mark it as the answer –  Dan Callahan Jul 30 '14 at 2:58

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