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An Irrevocably Lost Soul by maddyishere12345
Chapter 2 : And It All Came Crashing Down
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 3

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I think everyone here has a staring problem. At this point they're just blatantly staring at me. Which is rude I might add.



I was walking in the Great Hall for the Feast when I opened the doors and all sources of communication stopped. I abruptly stalled too; not even thinking that I was, in fact the reason conversations had been thrown out the window. Turning around I saw no one behind me. How odd everyone just stopped talking for nothing? Then the realization hit and I let out a groan, they stopped because I walked in. Well this is going to take some getting used too.




Ignoring all of the rude stares; I walked down the aisle with a purpose. One thing was running through my mind, get your ass in a seat. Of course lucky for me Harry, Ron, Ginny, and all my other friends chose seats all the way at other end of the hall. We're going to have to work on their convenience. After what felt like a millennium I sat down beside Harry.



"Geez, they're like vultures!" I yelled.


My friends snickered at my outburst.



"Why are you all laughing? This is serious! I cannot walk around this school with this happening any and every time I leave my room."



"You're probably just going to have to get used to it. You're beyond pretty now." Ginny said.




I reached across the table and punched her in the arm.




"Ouch! That hurt!"




"It was suppose to." I replied smugly.




After Mcgonagall finished the same speech as Dumbledore had for so many years, she moved onto sorting the first years. After that task was over and done with she started to announce the prefects.




"Ravenclaw: Luna Lovegood and Michael Corner. Hufflepuff: Hannah Abbott and Justin Flinch-Fletchley. Gryffindor: Ginny Weasley and Neville Longbottom. Slytherin: Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini." There was a thunderous applause from all of the houses.





"And may I announce our heads this year; Ms. Hermione Granger and Mr. Draco Malfoy, will you please join me at the podium?"






Blushing from the even louder outbursts from the children; I stood up and started to make my way towards Headmistress Mcgonagall. To my utter surprise and not to mention, discomfort, I could feel Malfoy's heated and deathly glare burning through my back. Annoyed by the fact that he was making me uncomfortable I turned around and sent my own glare. If looks could kill, Draco Malfoy would have a one way ticket to hell.







Before I turned back around I caught the smirk he plastered on his face, but from a look at his eyes I noticed a hint of surprise buried in his steely gray gaze. I had a distinct feeling he didn't want me to see that.







We finished our walk to Mcgonagall and she explained our, previously explained, duties to the rest of the school. To be completely honest, I stopped listening when she started to talk; which is totally un-Hermione-ish, but I couldn't help it. My mind was drifting to a blonde headed ferret. I was now completely aware that this man was vacating my thoughts more and more since I had seen him on the platform. Freaking-Draco-sodding-Malfoy was intruding in my thoughts. The world must be about to end, more likely that it's about to explode.






Pulling myself out of my horrendous thoughts of the boy I loathe; I noticed Mcgonagall had just finished her speech. About to take my first step back to the table Mcgonagall stopped Draco and I."Meet me outside the Great Hall doors after the feast and I will escort you to your common room."






We both nodded and walked back to our respective tables. The rest of the Feast was uneventful; the usual really. Ron was scarfing down his food, which I promptly reminded him time and time again that he was being a disgusting pig. I don't think he can help his unruly habits, but nevertheless, it was revolting. Harry and Ginny were all dough eyed, which now that I think about it was probably why Ron was shoving his food so far down his throat he was going to affixiate. Still no excuse to his manners, but an explanation is still better than assuming the man is just a cow. Everyone finished their meals and we walked out in a group; me, stopping at the doors to wait for Malfoy and Mcgonagall.







The two finally arrived and we walked to a part of the castle I had never ventured before; which is quite surprising considering I am friends with Harry Potter. You'd think I knew the castle inside and out, apparently not. Mcgonagall stopped in front of a portrait of a man who was very handsome.







"Well here is where I leave you make a password and I hope you approve of your new rooms." Then the Headmistress was gone.
After awhile of hesitation I asked Malfoy in an incredulous tone, "Well, are we going to stand here all night?"






He looked back at me and gave me his God awful smirk. "Granger you're getting quite feisty these days aren't you."







"Oh shut it you prat. What do you want the password to be. Nothing too revolting I already have to deal with your face on a daily basis."






"Whatever Mudblood."






I shrugged, but when I looked back at him waiting for a password to escape his lips, he looked shocked. When he noticed I was looking his blank and bored expression returned. I stifled a giggle and turned back to the portrait.





"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing of importance. Although the only thing I can see that is of least importance here is you, so I might need to change my answer." I gave him a wink and laughed a bit.





Completely giving up on the idea of him giving a password, I started to think of one my own.





"Since you can't seem to come up with a password on your own, which I totally understand considering your below average thinking space up there, how about infinite?"







Looking over at the blonde I noticed he was a little angry; probably because I had insulted him twice in the past minute, but who am I to guess what goes on in the kids head?






"Whatever that's fine."






"Alrighty then. Sir?" I spoke to the handsome man in the portrait.






"Ah yes, Ms. Granger how lovely to see you. You're looking ravishing these days."





"Oh well, thank you. That's much appreciated. We've decided our password will be infinite."







"How curious. Very well, welcome to your new living space." The man opened up the portrait and Malfoy and I stepped into the ridiculously large living quarters.










It was beautiful, the common room was gigantic. The room literally took my breath away; with a fire and a multitude of couches and love seats. The colors of the room mixed gold and silver with swirls of green and scarlet. There was a mini kitchen placed in the corner of the room. Off to the right and left was two stairwells; leading to each of our rooms I would assume. Walking up to the stairwell on the right I noticed the carpet on the stairs alternated between gold and scarlet. That one obviously led to my room; I walked up the stairs and, apprehensively, opened the door with my name plastered on the door.








Surprised is an understatement to what I felt; the whole entire room was white, with large blocks everywhere. You've got to be kidding me. Not even a defined bed. Thanks Mcgonagall. Stepping into the room I almost screamed; as soon as my shoe had hit the floor it turned into a beautiful mahogany wood floor. Then it came to me; I had to touch everything and it would turn to my liking. Duh Hermione. I mentally scolded myself. More than excited now I moved around the room and touched everything.







Colors of brown and light blue covered the walls in intricate designs. My bed was a queen sized with a beautiful white down comforter. As I finished that task I pulled out my trunk. Setting in on my bed I began to unpack my now extensive amount of clothes. I'm so glad Mcgonagall decided on letting seventh years not use their robes and dress in normal clothes.








After I was finished with clothes I magically placed all my school supplies neatly on my giant desk. Lastly, I pulled out my twinkling lights and papers of quotes, notes, and my drawings. Swiftly moving my wand they all flew up onto my wall, a nice collage of sorts. I stepped back and examined my handiwork.







Giving myself a pat on the back I pulled my laptop out of my trunk and set it on the desk. They're not allowed at Hogwarts, but what they don't know won't hurt them. Changing into comfier clothes I threw on some yoga pants and a sweatshirt that I got in America from Cocoa Beach. I threw my hair up into a messy bun with tendrils of hair falling around my face. I flopped down on my bed and closed my eyes. Unknowingly I started humming a muggle song without a care in the world. Not even Malfoy could ruin my mood.







As if I had summoned him he knocked on my door. Malfoy you sodding prick. Can't leave me alone in peace for fifteen minutes.


Dumbfounded that the Mudblood insulted me twice I walked into the common room; it was extravagant of course, but nothing I didn't expect. I watched Hermione as she stood in awe, probably wasn't used to the sight of nice things. Although as I looked at her I felt my stomach flip. Woah, what was that. That needs to stop this minute.






Taking the opposite staircase than Hermione; I saw my name plastered on the door. To my utmost surprise I walked in and saw complete white. Stepping into the room I figured it out, I need to touch everything so it will turn into what I find appealing. Which isn't much, now that I think about it. By the time I was done the room was green and silver. Obviously, Slytherin pride. Eyeing the bed across the room I looked at the black silk sheets I jumped into the bed and felt like I was in heaven. This has to be the most comfy bed ever, even when compared to my own at the manor. Reluctantly pulling myself out of bed I walked and threw on a grey t-shirt and black sweatpants. That's when I heard it.








How peculiar, where is that sound coming from? Looking across the room I saw another door. Probably the bathroom. Curious, I strode over to it and opened it. It was almost bigger than the prefect bathroom. I'll be using that tub often. Looking to my right I saw another door, that's when it clicked. One bathroom. Great. While contemplating the bathroom schedule I was pulled out of my thoughts by the singing again. It had gotten louder since I had moved to the bathroom.








Slowly moving towards the door, I finally realized it was Granger. Wow, she has a pretty voice. Stopping myself in my tracks I thought again. Why do nice things keep popping into my head about this girl! She's nothing special, especially to me! Shaking my head I pulled myself out of my trance. I caught a glimpse of the time. Shit! Granger and I have ten minutes to go out on patrol.


Begrudgingly walking out of my room and towards Granger's; I heard her start humming again. It was so entrancing I think she was a siren in another life. It's almost like her voice was pulling me to her door. When I finally arrived I knocked on her door. The door swung open a minute later to reveal Hermione. She looks good even when isn't trying to! Bloody hell!







Trying to make myself look bored I told her, "We're going to be late for patrols. They're in six minutes."






Her eyes widened at the fact. She must have forgot about it. Rushing around her room looking for something I waited.








"Granger anytime today would be good."





"Dammit Malfoy just shut up for a second."





That fact that she had the nerve to talk to me like that baffling.





"Ha! Found them."






Looking over to her I noticed she was talking about a light blue pair of tennis shoes.






"Are you finally ready?" I asked impatient.





"Yes, geez what's got your wand in a knot."






"Well we're only going to be late for our first patrol as Heads."





"Didn't know you, Malfoy out of all people, would be one for punctuality. You seem more like the guy to make a girl wait for an hour before showing up."






"Looks like you can't judge a book by it's cover than can you Mudblood."I added a sneer for full affect.







I couldn't understand why, but it bothered me tremendously knowing I couldn't get under her skin anymore; even with the loathed word 'Mudblood'. I think it irked me more that she got under mine when I didn't for her. Oh how the tables have turned. Wonderful.







"Yeah, maybe you're right." She added looking deep in thought.







"What do you mean." We had started our patrols finally. It's weird; I didn't even remember leaving her room.






"Exactly what you said, maybe I shouldn't judge, get to know the contents of the person."







Taken back by her agreement, I just nodded.





Her voice caught me off guard when she spoke again.






"So Malfoy would you want me to keep judging or will you let me look at the contents?"
I was so surprised I didn't realize I had halted.






"Um, well I don't see why you would want too."






"You suggested it, I was just wondering if you wanted me to go through with it."






Bringing myself back to Earth I answered.








"I have enough friends Granger. I especially don't need a Mudblood either."





"Okay fine with me. I was just giving you a chance."





Why won't she argue back with me. It's absurd! It's what we do!




We finished patrols in silence.


"Infinite." I stated. The portrait door swung open.




Walking to our respected rooms, Hermione's voice caught me off guard.



"I know you probably don't care, but goodnight Malfoy."




I stood there surprised and watched as she walked up the stairs.
Goodnight Granger. I couldn't say the words aloud. 




I wasn't completely ready for bed so I grabbed my book and sat on the couch. Sipping on the coffee I made; I heard Hermione's door open. Stopping my reading to see if she was coming down; I waited. Her steps could be heard, they sounded slow and unsure. I finally saw her when she got to the final step. She looked like hell.






"Geez Granger, what happened to you? You look more horrible than usual."






"Thanks Malfoy didn't know you could be such a gentleman." She slurred. Then I realized she was almost drunk. Almost. I could tell by her still witty sarcastic remarks.








"Woah, Granger mind sharing why you're almost plastered?"







"Actually Malfoy I was wondering if you would help me. I know you probably won't, considering me being a Mudblood, but do you have anymore Firewhiskey? Since I'm not totally wasted I would like to achieve the full status of it."





My eyes widened a bit. Did Hermione Granger, goody two shoes, know-it-all, gryffindork just ask me for alcohol?





"As a matter of fact I do. You can only have some though if you tell why you're goody two shoes self needs it."





"Let's just say it's exactly what the doctor prescribed." She said with a hint of a smile.






"Got a note for that answer?" I said with a smirk.






"Yeah, but I must have misplaced it in the other place where I put stuff the I don't give a shit about, the trash."





Ugh why doesn't she get mad! She only throws out better comments!





"Why don't you argue back? No yelling, no tears, no nothing! All you throw back are comments that leave me infuriated and you don't care one bit."





"I don't know Malfoy maybe it's because we don't all live in the childish world of back and forth comments. Grow up."






"Please Granger, you're different. You may have everyone else fooled, but not me. What happened the perfect life of Hermione Granger isn't going as great as she expected? Honestly, do you think anyone cares? Your life will always be ten times better then everybody else's. Compared to the rest of us your problems are minuscule! Don't act like your life isn't perfect!" I snapped.






That's when I noticed somewhere along the lines of my rant she had become almost unfathomably angry.





"Because the Malfoy's life aren't easy at all. You're an insufferable git. Just because you were all lost and lonely during the war doesn't make your life miserable now. News flash everyone was lost and miserable during the war! Stop throwing yourself a fucking pity party. Some people have it way worst than you."





I had gotten the reaction I wanted out of her. What I didn't know though was when I did, I was going to go mad with rage.





"Oh because you're one of them! Please, your life is a walk in the park compared to mine! You don't get ridiculed everyday for being on the wrong side of the war. Ridiculed for living through the events of it. You didn't sit in a giant manor all alone watching your mother drink away her sorrows! You think you know it all, but you don't!" I screamed.






"Oh because that's so hard."she said in a substantially calmer voice that was even more sinister than her yelling. "Because that is such a tragedy. Malfoy if you think you could take my life and live an easy one you obviously don't know me at all. I won't blame you though nobody really knows my life these days. Out of everyone you definitely wouldn't."





"Granger shut up. Your life is great and you know it. You have friends who care about you. Parents who probably adore you. And a life I would probably envy if you weren't a mudblood."

I saw her rage come back as I said those words. I was a little scared for my life at the moment. I was surprised to hear her voice come out low, but menacing.






"Yeah, because you would envy my life. I have best friends you leave me out of the group now that they don't need my intelligence. I have a family who hates me and left me on my own for keeping them safe during the war. I have parents who didn't even believe me when I told them I was raped right after the war. Yes, Malfoy my life is perfect. How much do you want it now. On top of all that I'm a Mudblood, the lower than low. How would you like to have my life Malfoy. The life where at night I have to drink at least half a bottle of Firewhiskey to keep dreams of me being raped in a closet or your horrid aunt torturing me for hours on end. So Malfoy is my life perfect now? Are you still envious?"




I sat there and gaped at her. My mouth couldn't form words for what she just told me.





"Whatever Malfoy. Don't talk to me anymore. I don't care if you think it's necessary or not. Just don't. Forget the Firewhiskey I'll figure out a spell or something." With that I watched her climb the steps slowly, but surly. Stumbling multiple times.






I heard her door close and let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding in.




My brain started throwing things out of it like rapid fire.






Dammit Draco you bloody git! Why did you go and say all that stuff? Had to go and get a reaction! You sorry ass prick. I can't believe she just told me all of that. She must have been really mad. From what I can tell I was the first person she told about these events. Where has she been living? What had she been doing? Ugh! I just had to go and push her over the edge. You know it's odd she didn't cry at all when admitting any of that. That's odd. I think I would have even cried if all that was happening with my life.







I got up from the couch fully intent on going to my own room, but when it came time to choose which staircase I found myself climbing the stairs with the scarlet and gold carpeting. I noticed I had knocked on her door.







"Go away Malfoy. I mean it." I heard muffled through the doorway.








"Granger I'm coming in whether you like it or not."






"Malfoy you step one foot in this room. I will Avada Kedavra your ass. I can promise you that."




I hulted in my steps, knowing she was completely serious. I barged through the doors anyway.







"Malfoy I told you. Get your ass out of my room."




"I'm calling your bluff Granger."






"You of all people should know that is an awful idea Malfoy."






"Then do it. Kill me." When seconds passed to minutes and no movements appeared from her. I inched closer to her bed where she was lying. I finally made it to her bed. I slowly took a seat waiting for rejections. There was none.










"Not entirely, but I mean I blurted it out so I guess I should tell you.




"You don't have to; believe me I know what things are like against your will."




"That makes two of us."





I flinched at the double meaning of her words.






"Why do you talk like that?" I asked.






"Like what?"







"Completely unfazed. Like your life is swell and dandy."







"I don't know I ponder that sometimes too. I think it's because it's easier if I'm cynical about it. About life in general really."







"Now that I think about it; I haven't heard you say one not sarcastic remark since I've been around you, I should have noticed."







"Well you noticed I was different besides the obvious changes. That counts for something."






Silence followed. She broke it first.



"You know that's why I changed so drastically."




"What do you mean?"




"People notice something different about you, but if you change so much they can't pinpoint it. They chalk it up to the obvious."






"That actually is a pretty good idea. Maybe I should try it." I joked a bit.








"I don't think it would work for you. Your ego would throw everyone off." She said with a smile.







"There it is." I laughed. She playfully punched me in the arm. "You know if you want to talk ever. I'll be here."








"Draco Malfoy helping a Mudblood like me? How insane. Is this an alternate universe?"








"I'm starting to believe so. You know you should stop calling yourself a Mudblood."







"Why? You call me that. Besides it's the least of my worries these days. That's why I don't care if you call me it I think."








"Well i'll stop if you do."








"I don't know I'm growing fonder of the name." She joked. I just sat there with a frown on my face.








"Is that my fault?" I asked







"Maybe, I don't know. Maybe it's just because my life exploded and there are things bigger than that. I'm not sure."














"It's alright. it's really not my first priority. You know Malfoy, I like getting to know the contents of your novel. It shows me maybe I was wrong about it all."







Baffled she even admitted that. I just nodded. We sat in silence for a long time. Out of nowhere she spoke again.







"They were already mad at me for trying to save them. They didn't see it that way of course. They said I 'took there life away and that was their right.' If they wanted to die why didn't they just tell me so? I couldn't get it through their heads."







"What did you do to try to save them?"









"Oh yeah I forgot I didn't tell you that part. Um, I got rid of myself from their lives. Took myself out of the picture and sent them to Australia. Just so they would be safe. But no they didn't see it that way. They said I stole their life away. I was just protecting them. Don't they understand how much it hurt to do that to them myself?" After a pause she added, "Obviously not."







It was all sinking in. That must have been awful taking yourself from your own parents life. Hermione was stronger than I thought.









"So the war ends and I go looking for them, two weeks of looking and I finally find them and restore their memories. I bring them home and they won't even speak to me; like they resent me for helping reserve their lives. Nope, it was all resentment for ruining their lives. Then I told them what happened and they didn't believe me. They said I was just looking for attention. I woke up the next morning and everything was gone. I guess they had enough of me; so they up and left. No note or anything. I left soon after that. Packing all my valuables and went to America. Changed my look and here we are."







I just stared at her. How could she have gone through that on her own?








"Why didn't you tell your friends?"





She gave a half-hearted laugh,"I felt bad they had finally gotten through the war and I would bring the darkness back to them. I couldn't let them be brought down by the darkness like I was. Then they stopped including me in everything. It hurt , my 'bestfriends' didn't need me anymore; so they dopped me on the side of the road. Figuritvely of course."





Long moments of silence ensued.







"I'm not happy anymore, everyone took it away."








I felt guilty I was part of the reason she was so unhappy. My comments about her probably didn't help her to any extent at all.








"Draco?" I was taken aback by her calling me by my first name, but i liked the way it sounded when she said it.







"Yeah?" I whispered.







"I'm so tired."







I knew what she meant. She was tired of everything in her life. Kind of like I was. I could only imagine how much worst her emptiness felt compared to mine.








"I know."I whispered, "I know."









She laid her head on my shoulder and I wrapped an arm around her as I rocked back and forth. Her breathing began to even and I laid her down on the bed. As I was pulling the covers around her I heard her whisper, "Thank you, Draco."







I gave her a smile and she closed her eyes again. Walking to the door, I turned out the lights. Before I fully shut the door I said in a voice barely audible, "Goodnight Hermione."








A/N: Hey guys hope you liked this chapter!  Reviews would be much appreciated :) Sorry if my sentence structure is off sometimes and everything sounds weird; I'm trying to work on it. Anyway once again, hope you liked it. I'm not much of writer, but thought I would go for it anyways. Any ideas or rants; feel free to write me right away. Update will be soon. Thanks! 

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