

If you could say something to a fictional character...

(61 Posts)
GimmeDaBoobehz Tue 17-Dec-13 23:34:40

What would it be?

Or to a real person pretending to be someone different.

I would love to tell Ron Weasley that he actually does nothing, Mike the Knight that he is a spoilt brat and I would love to tell a few kids tv characters to not be so rude!

Book/film/tv whichever you prefer - just for fun.

joanofarchitrave Tue 17-Dec-13 23:37:24

I'd tell Harry Potter that he was off to the Chalet School for a couple of years to learn some morals and manners. He eavesdrops on conversations FGS, is disrespectful and sneaky and downright bad. Miss Annersley would sort him out and Jo could sing him a few carols and tell him that Our Lady was a carpenter's wife so he can stop being such a snob about Privet Drive.

Lemongrab Tue 17-Dec-13 23:40:21

I'd tell Tracy bleeding Beaker to shut her stupid, annoying, loud, rude, mouthy mouth before I shut it for her.

IamGluezilla Tue 17-Dec-13 23:40:29

I'd tell Cathy that Heathcliff would never make her happy. That he was a bad 'in and to run away as fast as she could.
But she wouldn't listen

GimmeDaBoobehz Wed 18-Dec-13 17:00:32

Bumping for the day traffic.
I have waaay too much time on my hands when DD is asleep, it seems.

Cakebaker35 Wed 18-Dec-13 17:13:13

I'd tell Mr Bloom to piss off.

I'd tell Charles not to marry Heloise or Emma and point him towards therapy.

ToriaPumpkin Wed 18-Dec-13 17:18:13

I'd tell Daddy Pig he is an indulgent parent of the worst order and that far from being rolling on the floor hilarious when his daughter breaks things, gets in peoples' way and makes demands it's bloody rude.

I'd tell Rhett to grow a pair and actually tell Scarlett how he feels instead of messing with her head then blaming her.

I'm sure there are more but that's the one that springs to mind.

Love the Harry Potter at the Chalet School idea - brilliant. grin

Hohohowhatfuckeryitis Wed 18-Dec-13 17:23:23

Emma-keep your fucking nose out of other peoples' business.
Alice-don't talk to strangers. especially "dodgy" dodgeson
(Yeah I know he was real)
Children-don't let talking cats into the house when your mother is away on a rainy day. In fact, Mother what were you thinking leaving such young children alone?

If say "Come on Bridget, let's go and get pissed"

<doesn't get out enough>

Oh - Mrs Owl, you might consider, you know, telling Sarah and Percy that you're coming back ... or even hiring a babysitter so they don't end up looking after Bill. And can you not afford a more substantial nest so he doesn't end up perching on something that looks as if it's about to break?

ILoveAFullFridge Wed 18-Dec-13 17:29:38

I'd tell Bridget Jones to grow up and stop being such a pathetic, self-obsessed wuss.

Salmotrutta Wed 18-Dec-13 17:34:00

I'd tell Ann from The Famous Five to man up.

And I'd tell Frodo he should have been down on his bloody knees kissing Sam Gamgee's feet and stop treating him so patronisingly!!

ILoveAFullFridge Wed 18-Dec-13 17:34:20

"FFS just ask him!" (To the 2nd Mrs de Winter)
"FFS just talk to her!" (To Maxim de Winter)
"FFS stop wallowing, have kids, and get a life!" (To both of them)

Oh, salmo ... how do I say this ... I think that may have been the beginning of the famous deleted scene of the LOTR trilogy. wink

TheBunsOfPanettone Wed 18-Dec-13 17:37:19

LRD on GWTW I'd also tell Ashley to move up North and take that teaching job when he had the chance instead of staying around messing with Scarlett's head.

And I'd tell The Girl in Rebecca to leave that tiresome controlling berk Maxim. And I'd tell Maxim he's a tiresome controlling berk.

I'd tell Gervaise in l'Assommoir to get the hell out, just out and not touch Coupeau with a bargepole, because surely no good can come to a sympathetic and not particularly strong willed character in any novel by Zola. And I'd probably give similar advice to quite a few of Hardy's characters. And I've thought it about any number of soap characters.

So true, buns. Sadly I also suspect that, in reality, Ashley isn't that into the ladies, but there we go.

If we're allowed TV characters too - I've just watched Ashes to Ashes and it is my entirely altruistic, disempassioned view that Gean and Alex probably ought to have stopped pussyfooting round the issue and shoved each other up against a wall sometime in series 1.

Just me?

I'll get me coat.

caz1010 Wed 18-Dec-13 17:46:01

I would tell Rupert Campbell Black that Taggy is not the one for him. I would really show him a good time grin

Sparkles23 Wed 18-Dec-13 17:51:16

I'd tell Lola from 'Charlie and Lola' that she is an irritating little spoiled brat who can't have any more pink milk until she learns to become less selfish! Oh and I'd tell Charlie his little sister isn't funny and he's to learn to stand up for himself and not take any of her shit! Though would change shirt to nonsense as they are only children! Ooh maybe I'm a little harsh!

I'd tell Arthur Kipps not to stay in the house alone- you're not imagining that woman in black, son. She's trouble!

MmeGuillotine Wed 18-Dec-13 17:56:54

I can think of loads but I'm watching Pretty in Pink right now and would really like to tell Andi that her prom dress is fucking shit.

bionic77 Wed 18-Dec-13 18:03:43

I'd tell Angel Clare to get a grip and stop being a hypocrite.

rudolphdrops Wed 18-Dec-13 18:28:18

I'd tell Sandy not to change for Danny, he is a prick and there's nothing wrong with you the way you were.

ILoveAFullFridge Wed 18-Dec-13 18:37:44

I'd tell Ralph de Bricawotsit (you know, the priest in Thorn Birds) that he is an utter prick to stop thinking with his d:£& and get the hell out of Megan's head.

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