Apr 30 2014 1:00pm

Every Human in Star Wars is Really a Humanoid Bee

There are no humans in Star Wars.








This explains a few things:








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Chris Nelly
1. Aeryl
Hell, there are actual hive insect aliens in the EU. This isn't THAT off base.

But, if this is only for the OT, why the prequel picture?
3. ad
Wouldn't this argument work just as well for Lord of the Rings? And Band of Brothers?

Clearly there was more to WW2 than we have been told...
Leah Schnelbach
4. Cloudyvision
Obligatory reaction from Nicholas Cage:
Anthony Pero
5. anthonypero
And why, exactly, would a site like TOR.COM, not want to go all Chariots of the Gods?
6. olethros
Corrollary: the SW "humans" are the buggers in Ender's Game.
8. Amy E.
glad i'm not the only one who was thinking that.
9. NicoleL
@ 5 Because racism?
Anthony Pero
10. anthonypero
By Chariots of the Gods, I was simply refering to the concept that human life was seeded by extraterrestrials.
Lisamarie LiGreci-Newton
11. Lisamarie
I did laugh (and I know you're not trolling) but I am not sure you can just omit the prequel trilogy because it goes against your theory (although the lack of female characters fits there too).
12. dreamysusan just the best.
13. Stephan Zielinski
More evidence Han Solo is a drone: he brags of having "made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs", which strongly suggests he succeeded in triumphing over all rivals and impregnating the Kessel queen after a remarkably short mating flight.
Lisamarie LiGreci-Newton
14. Lisamarie

Oh yea, and I meant to add, I'm not a fan of any theory that posits the 'Han is actually Force sensitive', as it takes away from his 'Badass Normal' status. In some ways, he is more of the everyman than Luke (I love Luke.) as he does not have the benefit of mystical powers, although he does have other gifts.
Alan Brown
15. AlanBrown
I had thought that the lack of female characters was because Lucas was copying folks like Robert Lewis Stevenson, A. Conan Doyle, and H. Rider Haggard, whose protagonists generally kissed women goodbye in the first chapter, and didn't say hello to any females until they got home again in the last chapter.
But this theory actually makes much more sense!!!
16. Fred Davis
Actually the prequal trilogy works even better with this theory - who would "elect" a teenage "queen" like amidala? Viewed as the result of a sane sol c society it's nonsensical, but for humanoid bees? Even the use of the idea of being "elected" makes more sense - now it's not a thing of democratic votes but of convincing a swarm of infertile females to come nest with a new queen.

Similarly, the anakin/his mother/amidala relationship is one of a fertile male drone produced by an enslaved queen going from one drone/queen relationship to another - and palpatine's usurption of that relationship is ultimately and irrevocably confirmed when the drone lashes out and fatally injures his queen.

This act is in turn is so aborrent and unthinkable that when it happens to amidala she gives up her life out of a sense of shame, presumably in the form of producing epic quantities of royal jelly to feed the pupal leia and luke, rather than live as the queen who was struck by one of her male drones - obviously she'd be unable to form any kind of hive after that and so put all her hopes for the formation of a new hive that could fight palpatine's new clone hive in her children.
Madeline Barnicle
17. barnicle
A very elegant theory. Thank you for this illuminating hypothesis! ;)
Alan Brown
18. AlanBrown
And it explains why some of the dialogue sounds so awkward to human ears! ;-)
19. claritywhisk
What truly undermines the argument here is that, while positing the theory, it doesn't mention the most obvious item of support. Light saber combat, an intricate dance involving rapid flipping, is obviously a depiction of aerial combat and/or wrestling: something akin to the fighting of terran bees. The force concerned is simply gravity. When you think about the repeated emphasis on agility and 'human' nature overcoming imperial forces throughout the films (e.g. downing the imperial walker; also, ewoks) it's apparant there was cleverness in overcoming the flightless limitations of the actors available. But really, forgetting the flight saviours? It's almost as gaping a hole as omitting comment on the dance at the entryway to the death star. Perhaps over time you can elaborate the paper to give it a bit more sting. As it is, I'm puzzled as to the clear trueness of the presented hypothesis, what grade of honey that truth corresponds to and whether further study would find it moldy.
20. Scooba
The "long time ago in a galaxy far far away" set up is to give you a sense of a "future fantasy tale". It doesnt imply that star wars actually takes place in another galaxy than ours, nor does it imply that these events happened a long time ago.
Anthony Pero
21. anthonypero
@20: I think maybe you are missing the tone of this article.
22. Merle
Great read! Though now I'd love to see insectoid redesigns of the main cast...
23. Mike Olson
Toryn Farr! Toryn Farr!
24. Duggy
You are aware that most bees are female, right? If this was true of Star Wars all the worker bees (rebel and imperial soldiers and command staff) would be female not male.
25. olethros
" Perhaps reading the article before commenting would be of benefit.
Joseph Newton
26. crzydroid
I have to object to the use of the terms "bees" and "insects", as these things also evolved on Sol 3.

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