Title: Sex 101

Author: whocares10315

Pairing: Craig/Kenny, mentions of Craig/Tweek

Chapter: One Shot

Rating: MA for strong sexual content and offensive language [you have been warned]

Disclaimer: I do not own Matt and Trey's precious babies.

Author's Notes: Dedicated to norikumi for the request. Sorry if this isn't satisfactory- it's a bit rushed at the end. I'm dissatisfied. But hopefully you'll like it! 3

Summary: Craig hates asking people for anything, but he has no other choice…

Sex 101

Craig was an enigma. Everyone knew that as an inherent fact of life. Nobody really knew Craig. Not even his closest friends. Sure, he acted normally enough. But there was always that undercurrent of mystery that followed the tall, dark male.

That was why Kenny was extremely befuddled as to why Craig was found standing at his doorstep at three in the morning.

"Uh," was the first unintelligible thing that slipped from Kenny's tired lips. "Craig?"

"It's late," Craig said in a sort of admittance, blinking past his dark hair. "Sorry."

"The hell are you doing here, dude?" Kenny yawned, rubbing one of his half-lidded eyes, ruffled blonde hair sticking in all sorts of directions.

"I need your help," Craig said flatly, blinking again as he stared at the other meaningfully.

"Couldn't it have waited 'til tomorrow?" Kenny groaned, leaning on the broken door jamb, practically falling back asleep on it. "Tomorrow's Saturday, man."

"No," Craig said with firm stubbornness, shoving past the tired frame of the other to go inside.

"Hey," Kenny grunted halfheartedly, frowning as he followed the other inside with another yawn. "Get out of my house."

"No," Craig repeated, turning to face the other with an indiscernible expression. "We need to talk."

"Um, it's called calling," Kenny grumbled impatiently, shutting the door in submission. "Might be a shit phone, but m'not that fucking poor."

Kenny didn't bother to add that he had to work extra shifts to pay for the bills for his phone, because something told him that Craig couldn't give a shit.

"This is serious," Craig blinked, taking a step toward Kenny. "You're going to help me."

Kenny regarded the other with a hint of anxiety, as he slowly woke up, realizing just what was happening. He could believe maybe Stan, Kyle or Cartman coming to him at such a late hour for no visible reason, but Craig? Not so much.

"What in all hell could I help you with, Craig?" Kenny asked, more curious than upset at Craig's sudden arrival, throwing his hands up. "I'm not the helping-hand kind of guy."

"You don't really have a choice," Craig said, furrowing his eyebrows, as if not understanding what was so complicated about his request. "You're going to help me because it can only be you."

Kenny resisted the small smirk that twitched on his lips at the thought of him being the center of attention for something, anything. Only him, huh? Well, Kenny could deal with that. In fact, he could even like that.

"Oh yeah? So what do you want me for, Craig Tucker," Kenny smirked lazily, crossing his arms in front of his bare chest, his boxers hanging dangerously low. "What's so damn important."

Kenny took a pause to raise his eyebrow, smirk splitting his face further. "Finally realized that you got a hard on for me?" he joked, his boyish looks looking so mischievous and teasing. He couldn't help it- it was his nature to mock-flirt with everyone around him.

"I am going to fuck you. Tonight," Craig answered without a hint of a joke. He took another step toward Kenny to close the space between them. "And you're gonna love it."

For once, Kenny had nothing to say. His blue eyes widened at the other's fierce promise, even taking a step back in his surprise. He shook his head, as if shaking the words off of him. Not believing. But the more he stared at the other, the more he realized the dark-haired boy was serious. For a moment, Kenny found his cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. Sure, he had plenty of come-ons from randoms at parties and bars that had confident claims made to him like Craig's. But not by a peer; especially not one like Craig. Craig was unlike any other.

"Oh fucking really?" was what Kenny managed to piece together in the end, a slight raise of his voice making it clear he was at least a little bit nervous.

"Yeah. Right now," Craig reaffirmed with a nod, looking unfazed by the other's reaction.

"And what the hell makes you think that?" Kenny asked, looking at the other with disbelief but also intense curiosity. "Why all of a sudden, I mean what the fuck!"

"You're going to show me how to have sex with a guy." Craig looked almost bored with the conversation as his blue-grey eyes narrowed. "Because you'd be the most reliable source."

"Wait, wait," Kenny interrupted, waving his hands, eyes clenching as if to process Craig's request. He sincerely hoped he was just delirious from his rude awakening. "You didn't just ask me to show you how to have hot, gay sex."

"You have to," Craig said firmly, looking like he was going to hit Kenny if the blonde didn't oblige. "I need to be good."

"I didn't even know you were gay," Kenny mused to himself, getting distracted by the thought as he stared off into space. " Could explain a few things, I guess…"

"Look, it's not like I like doing this," Craig reassured, rolling his eyes. "I hate asking people for shit. But this is important. Take off your boxers."

"Woah, hey," Kenny snapped, moving away when Craig made a move toward him to take them off for him. "The first thing you gotta understand is foreplay, Mr. Eager Dick."

Kenny almost slapped himself. He was acting like he was already accepting Craig's bizarre request. But then again, Kenny took a pause to just ask the question he always asked to himself whenever he doubted something: why not? Craig was attractive, albeit pretty boring. If he wanted to learn how to fuck from the sexpert, maybe Kenny would be doing the world a service by making Craig a crazy man in the sack to counter his boring personality.

Hmm. Kenny liked that idea. Lots of bragging rights were possible in the future.

"I don't want to get all intimate and cute," Craig clarified, starting to take off his jacket and tossing it to the side, eyes locked on Kenny's, disconcertingly controlling. "Just show me what to do."

"It's not a matter of being intimate and cute, fuckass, it's a matter of turning the person on," Kenny said in a bit of an authoritative tone; one he could only take when talking about sex. "Do you think I'm getting turned on right now by how you're acting?"

Craig shrugged, looking a bit thoughtful at that point. Kenny didn't want to admit to the fact that he could have been a little turned on by how Craig told him to take off his boxers and just let him fuck him. There was such purpose and force in his eyes and voice that Kenny found he couldn't resist that submissive, sexual pet mentality that hid inside of him. But, Kenny deduced that that was just because he loved anything to do with sex, so Craig suggesting sex, even at a "professional" level, was enough to work up some heat in the cold, Colorado night.

"Christ, c'mere," Kenny sighed, walking to the couch and sitting, patting it in invitation. When Craig obliged, Kenny faced him, a new sense of purpose now blooming in his own eyes.

"Eye contact's a biggie," Kenny started off with, doing so and swallowing tightly as Craig's eyes did not waver. "Builds tension and all that."

"And that's good?" Craig asked, looking like he didn't understand that.

"Hell yeah, it's good, don't you watch porno?" Kenny scoffed, looking incredulous. 'Why do you think there's always the bullshit story? Tension."

"I guess," Craig huffed, looking impatient. "Just hurry up."

"You can't rush perfection, dude," Kenny stated. "Besides, I don't have to help you. I could just leave you with nothing to work with when you're trying to impress some dude."

Then a thought occurred to the blonde.

"Besides, who are you tryna impress?" Kenny probed further when Craig showed signs of discomfort. A simple wrinkling of the nose and an aversion of eyes. "You got a boy you wanna make scream your name, Tucker?"

"It's none of your business," Craig said a bit unkindly, looking almost disgusted. "You wouldn't understand."

"I wouldn't understand loving someone enough to want to please them between the sheets, is that it?" Kenny replied with a bite behind his words.

Kenny found that a bit insulting. Sure, he may like to have casual sex with various partners, but he always cared strongly enough to want to make them have as good as time as him. Besides, it's also a pride thing; Kenny was a people pleaser, after all. He just wanted to be liked and accepted in the end. His libido was just one way.

"I just want to be good," Craig concluded, looking frustrated at himself.

"Join the club," Kenny snorted, shaking his head at the other as if not believing that Craig felt that he was the only one with such concerns. Nobody wanted to be bad in bed. Especially with someone special.

"So, who's this person," Kenny prodded further. "I won't help unless I know. Knowing would help me help you, dude. Just think of it that way."

"You'll tell people," Craig said. "Like your stupid friends."

"Dude, I don't give a shit enough to tell people," Kenny said. He found gossip tiresome. That's why the occasional guy was nice after a few great women lined up. "I'm not a chick, I won't tell."

Craig seemed to study the other, as if processing each word very carefully to find a lie. But after deciding that the other was not going to tell anyone about his request or about who he loves, he succumbed.


Why wasn't Kenny surprised?

"Fine," Kenny nodded, that being enough confirmation. "Now I know what I gotta show you."

Kenny figured he'd avoid anything too rough or kinky and leave his toys in the closet, in case Tweek gets-well-stressed. Kenny could imagine Craig being rather terrifying with a whip or handcuffs.

"Okay, you have to be slow sometimes and fast sometimes," Kenny explained. "Keep it interesting."

Craig wordlessly reached out to cup Kenny's face, making him blink a bit in surprise at the dark-haired boy's successful attempt at being intimate. Craig's eyes never left Kenny's as he leaned forward slowly, the pad of his thumb brushing along his cheek. Kenny found himself sighing a bit before making a noise of surprise when Craig suddenly attacked his lips with passionate force, nipping and sucking unbridled.

Damn. He was good for a boring dude looking for help.

Kenny suppressed a moan, though he answered with the same primal energy, sliding his hands up the other's chest and shoulders to link his hands around Craig's neck. He told himself he was just creating a convincing simulation of what Tweek would probably do, but he was simply just enjoying it. Well, if Craig was good at the sop-go and simple basics of hooking up, it showed considerable promise. And he knew for a fact Craig has had sex with a girl. Nellie had bragged about it to everyone and Craig stopped speaking to her after that.

As Kenny clenched his fingers in the other's shirt, releasing an approving sigh, he pulled away reluctantly to speak.

"After a while, you'll start getting hot," Kenny panted slightly, finding it increasingly difficult not to lap at Craig's lips between words. The boy tasted delicious and forbidden. And Craig wasn't fighting it.

Craig nodded in response, pulling away slightly to remove his shirt, revealing his pale and built torso. Kenny tried not to stare, but goddamn, Craig was a fine specimen of man.

"You'll have to let him touch you like this," Kenny murmured absently, reaching his hands out to feel the warmth under Craig's tight flesh. "He'll want to, I promise you."

Craig reached out a hand—relatively unresponsive to the other's touches—to touch Kenny's hair, clenching it in his fingers as if to test it. Kenny bit his lip. Craig had no idea how much he loved that.

"Should I touch him, too?" Craig asked, sliding his hand down Kenny's front, fingers lingering some at one of his nipples before reaching right for the front of his boxers.

"Yeah, but don't ru-unnh!" Kenny dissolved in a groan when Craig cupped him through the thin material of his boxers without warning, just as he was saying not to rush. He changed his mind, now.

"Good?" Craig asked, raising his eyes to look at Kenny's expression. He was a bit surprised to see the other's face flush and his eyes glaze over. His lips twitched in what could have been a smirk.

"Mmhm," Kenny said, lips hanging open slightly as Craig's none-too-gentle hand worked him into full arousal. "That's-that's good."

Kenny's hand clenched on to Craig's shoulder, the other one moving to wrap around Craig's, half pushing it away and half coaxing it to go harder, despite his next words.

"You might wanna go more gentle with him," Kenny breathed, eyes slipping shut briefly as his hips instinctively started to roll shallowly. "You'll have to test it out."

Kenny wanted to let Craig know that with him he could go as hard as he wanted.

Craig frowned slightly but obeyed. He didn't like the idea of trial and error. He was hoping sex had a universal "right" way. He wanted to get it right the first time. Make Tweek happy the first time.

"You might have to take off your own pants," Kenny said, removing his hands to hastily take off Craig's pants. "But for the sake of time, I'll do it."

Kenny licked his lips in anticipation, starting to lose track of what Craig was there for. He unbuttoned and unzipped Craig's pants, hesitating only for a moment before pressing his palm against the front of Craig's boxers, stroking appreciatively.

Craig released a sigh, tightening his hold on Kenny's arousal at the feel of a hand around his own. He shut his eyes, imagining a certain, nervous blonde forcing himself to touch Craig because he wanted to please him. He groaned at the thought, curling his fingers under the waist band of Kenny's boxers to grasp his bare length.

Kenny moved in to lick along Craig's lips, reminding him that sex involved multi tasking. Craig answered Kenny's tongue with his own, taking his other hand to bury itself in Kenny's blonde hair, grasping it.

"Take off your pants, Craig," Kenny ordered, hands moving to shove them off Craig's angular hip bones, lust propelling him into only one objective. He nearly forgot that it was a "lesson." He just knew that Craig was turning him on and now he just wanted the dark-haired boy to fuck him into the couch.

But Craig, as an obedient peer would, pulled away, standing up to take off his pants, kicking them to the side. He blinked a bit in confusion when Kenny suddenly took control, standing up to grab Craig by the face, kissing him hungrily, moaning shamelessly, body pressed to his. Craig hesitantly answered, but wrapped his arms around the other, keeping their bodies flush together, touching the crevices of his back, wondering what Tweek's spine would feel like.

Kenny hummed happily in Craig's mouth at his touch, gyrating his hips into Craig's before tugging the boy back onto him on the couch, spreading his legs accordingly. He cradled the other's narrow hips with his own, grabbing at Craig's face and hair, humping his hips up into Craig, wanting friction.

"Kenny," Craig finally interrupted breathily, though he kissed the other back and even rubbed his hips back against the blonde underneath him. "Kenny, what happens now?"

"Mmn, keep moving," Kenny demanded, biting into Craig's lower lip as his hands slid down Craig's wide shoulder blades and toned sides to cup his ass, pressing them into his own, closing any possible space between their arousals. "Just rub against me."

How badly Kenny just wanted to tell Craig to dry fuck him. Kenny felt light-headed, knees falling open as Craig listened to his requests, pumping his hips harshly against him like he was on a mission. Kenny hooked one of his feet around the other's waist, digging it into his tail bone, arching his back, letting his head fall back as he gasped for air.

Craig saw the exposed neck as a possible invitation. He leaned down, keeping an eye on Kenny's face as he tilted his head and sucked along his throat, wondering if it was a good idea in terms of foreplay, wanting to impress. To do it right. He felt Kenny's fingers knotting in his hair, and figured it had been a good idea. As he rocked his hips, admitting how good it felt with a grunt of pleasure, Craig bit into Kenny, envisioning marking Tweek as his own. He felt the blood rush in his body at the thought.

"Take 'em off," Kenny gasped, holding Craig close, moving his lips to press against his ear, licking along the shell of his ear. Kenny couldn't process any other thoughts or words at that moment, the only thing existing being his hips and how fucking hard he was getting with Craig fucking Tucker on top of him.

Craig pulled away, taking the waistband of Kenny's boxers to pulled them down his hips. Kenny tilted his hips and helped in the process, lifting his legs. Craig let the boxers drop, assuming he was supposed to catch up as he removed his own as well. He leaned over the other, arms propping him up, now naked with Kenny, of all people. Craig didn't find it awkward, just, strange. But in a good way. Because Kenny was breathing heavily and looking at him in a weird way. Craig figured he was doing a good job so far. But now- the moment of truth.

"Fuck me, Craig," Kenny said, lying beneath the other, wriggling with anticipation. "With your fingers first. Soak 'em with your spit and fuck me with your fingers."

Despite the fact Kenny was "teaching" Craig, Kenny was getting off on his own "dirty talk." He stroked himself, staring at Craig as the dark-haired boy slowly and methodically started to suck on his two fingers. Craig was thinking it must have been like fingering a girl. He could manage that much.

Craig looked down at Kenny, leaning over and pressing two of his fingers past the tight knot of muscle without much preparation. Though Kenny hissed, because he was getting more consistent sex, he actually enjoyed the brief, sharp pain, even bucking his hips down against Craig's fingers.

"Next time go slower with one finger at a time, big boy," Kenny snickered breathlessly, his words laced with small whimpers as Craig thrust his fingers just as Kenny had asked. "Make sure you-nnh, fuck-you take your time with him."

Craig nodded, looking concentrated as he watched his own fingers enter and reenter Kenny, almost fascinated. He angled his fingers, wondering if that would change anything, not realizing that changed everything.

"Aw fuck, you got it, Craig," Kenny moaned, tightening his hold around his head, hips slamming back down against Craig's fingers. "You fucking got it."

"Now what?" Craig asked, tilting his head at Kenny's behavior, hoping Tweek would make the same face that Kenny was. Because truthfully- the way Kenny's eyes turned into glazed slits and his mouth hung open as if ready to salivate- it was getting Craig rock hard.

"Stick it in," Kenny growled, smirking in a teasing manner, despite the moans that shot out of his mouth. "Use your precome as lube if you don't have any. Spread me open, Craig."

Craig removed his fingers, catching the precome at his head and lubricating his shaft, almost calmly. But he kept eyeing Kenny. He didn't realize just how "sexy" sex was. Kenny was lying under him, arching his back and bucking his hips as he touched himself, whimpering like an animal in heat as he waited. Craig watched the flush travel down Kenny's neck and chest, licking his lips as he absently stroked himself. If Kenny looked this damn good, Tweek was bound to.

The dark-haired boy hovered over the other, leading the head to Kenny's entrance, biting his lip in stern concentration. Impatient, Kenny moved to speed up the process, reaching his hand down to grasp Craig's full girth, moving to tease his own entrance with a quiver, before coaxing it inside.

"Nnnh, yeah, Craig. That's it. Uhn, fuck," Kenny squirmed, just wanting Craig's heavy length in him, filling him. He leaned his head up to slather the other's lips with his tongue, moaning as Craig did the rest of the work, slowly slipping into him.

Just in case Craig needed any more encouragement, Kenny bit his chin, nipping along his jawline as his fingers found foundation in Craig's hair.

"Tilt your hips," Kenny said, lips quivering and body quaking in impatience as he lapped at Craig's lips. "And go to town."

Craig knew what to do. He grasped the other's hips firmly, leaning back on his knees as he started to rock his hips, each jerking accent being in, searching for that place. He was going to find it. This, he knew. Craig's thumbs dug into the tender flesh as he built a rhythm, bucking his hips roughly into the other, the sound of slapping skin filling the dark room. That coupled with the inhuman noises he seemed to be pushing out of the blonde's lungs.

"Ahhn, nnh. Uuhn,fuck, Craig, mmn, ha." Kenny's airy groans and whines were making Craig quicken his pace, angling himself a bit in attempts to make the other scream, hips slowly beginning to lose rhythm as Craig got lost in sensation, throwing his head back with a long groan of his own.

"Harder, Craig, ha-harder, nnh!" Kenny was fully aware that he was a noise-maker in bed, and tonight was no exception. In fact, he found Craig getting him hotter and heavier than any normal night. It might have been the mere spontaneity. But all he knew was he waned Craig to make him sore in the morning. And by the looks of it, Craig's determination to be good was making that possible.

Craig grunted at every thrust, feeling sweat build along his hairline as he held Kyle's hips, moving them down as he humped into him, feeling the other tightening around him. All he could understand up at that point was thrusting into Kenny as hard as he could. Friction was all that existed.

"Craig, I'm- I'm gonna fucking come," Kenny gasped, breathing heavily as he moved his body roughly. "I'm gonna-I'm gonna c-come!"

Craig figured he'd help Kenny and move to jack him off. Kenny came instantly, screaming his name, which spurred his own thrusting further until he came and filled him with a relatively loud moan.

The afterglow of sex settled over the two; a mess of collapsed limbs, grimy skin, and heavy breathing.

Neither of them said anything for a long while, simply lying there in the dark. Craig absently wondered why Kenny's parents hadn't heard. But he figured they were drunks like his dad. He felt the chest under him shake and he lifted his head to see Kenny laughing faintly.

"And that's what you do," Kenny panted, grinning. "To have gratuitous sex, with another dude."

Craig couldn't help but allow a slight smirk back.

"Thanks, Kenny," Craig breathed, staring down at the other for a second. He felt like he should have said more but instead he removed himself from the other.

"No, Craig," Kenny smirked, shaking his head as his eyes slipped shut. "Thank you."

~*Love? Hate? Undecided? Let me know. Thanks for reading!*~