Help!! I have just had the most stressful shopping trip ever..

(17 Posts)
gallifrey Mon 15-Oct-12 11:46:01

My dd is 18 months old and seems to have hit the terrible 2's already. Just now I attempted to do some shopping.
In short she will not sit in a trolley, or sit in her buggy if I do manage to get her in her buggy she gets out of the straps and gets out of the buggy and runs away.
I have some reins for her which is ok for the first few minutes then she chucks herself on the floor and won't move. If she is "free" she just runs away.
Her new favourite word is NO!

I didn't even manage to buy anything today and just came home.

The worse thing is I am supposed to be a childminder but don't have any mindee's yet and tbh how on earth am I going to manage with her behaving like this and look after other children as well?!!
I think I might get a job and send her to nursery instead...

QTPie Mon 15-Oct-12 12:28:24

If you are a childcare professional, how would you handle one of your charges if they did the same? Maybe apply the same techniques?

Personally, at that age, I found a box of raisins a godsend when trying to do a quick shop. Bigger shops I left for when DH could look after him...

Put some boundaries in place - and remember the power of bribery and stickers.

My DS is 3 and does have difficult days erases recent trip to Boots from memory but generally:

- he has to sit in the seat in the trolley, with the straps fastened around him. No sitting in trolley, we go back to the car.

- I have something in mind as bribery - if you help me with the shopping, at the end oyu can have x - ride in 50p children's ride, small, car, carton of apple juice

- engage them in the shopping - can you put this in for me (avoid putting bread at the bottom of the trolley and put glass bottles in yourself) - similarly, they can be handed things to put on the conveyor and hand over cash to the cashier.

Keep raisins, small toy etc in your handbag to pull out when needed, and if in doubt, give up, grab a ready meal on your way out so you have something to eat and try again another day. You will have hellish days shopping, and days where your DC charms the staff.

oh, and avoid places like Boots where they can grab potentially harmful things from low level or run along with an arm out knocking rows of stuff off the shelves. If you're in a shopping centre and one shop does trollies, keep the child in it for the other shops as well. I recently did TKMaxx and M&S Food in a Boots trolley No-one said anything and it was infinitely easier than getting him out and allowing DS to walk.

gallifrey Mon 15-Oct-12 13:32:57

thanks for the replies, I think at 18 months she is not old enough to understand rewards or bribery. I normally take plenty of things with me to feed her while we are going round the shops but recently she has started throwing whatever I give her on the floor along with her teddy and dummy.
She likes to hold things but will more than likely chuck them after a few minutes. Then she screams because she wants them back.
She will not sit in a trolley, or her buggy. In fact all she wants to do is run. She certainly takes after her dad!
She started screaming as soon as she saw her buggy earlier!

I am a childcare professional yes but as yet I don't have any mindees apart from older children after school.

Misty9 Mon 15-Oct-12 16:19:53

Mine is 13 months so have all this to come! I have those link 'ems for attaching toys to the buggy so if they're thrown they can easily be retrieved. Also, I've heard good things about the snack pots with the lids with slits in - so a little hand can reach in but the snacks don't fall out iykwim? Keeps them busy for a few minutes!
Online shopping?! smile

gallifrey Mon 15-Oct-12 17:08:24

Yes I normally do my shopping online but only popped in to asda to get a few bits!
Those snack pots sound like a genius invention I'll definitely look out for those thanks.
My other daughter wasn't like this at all, but this one is totally different, very demanding and has a red head's temper! This morning she banged her head on the floor on purpose because I wouldn't let her pull everything off the shelves.

christmasmum Mon 15-Oct-12 17:10:47

I gave up shopping when mine were a similar age. Still can't go and they're almost 5 and 3!

bacon Mon 15-Oct-12 19:32:43

Mine werent too bad, but the only time they were naughty and uncontrollable was when they were tired.

I was always pretty strict with the lunch time nap and never went out until they had it. I found sleep and behaviour are very interlinked.

I cant take the two to the supermarket as they dive and run around and are a real menace. If I take the one on own then thats fine.

Def try a snack to nibble on.

crackcrackcrak Mon 15-Oct-12 19:41:27

The snack pots are indeed genius. I recall dd bring a bit of a pain with shopping on the past.
I think you can get an extra strap thing that goes between the chest straps to stop them escaping. Reins had the lie on floor and whine effect on dd at that age but came in to their own later on. I'd concentrate on getting the buggy under control first if it were me. What kind of buggy incedent ally?

Does she nap in the day? Would it be easier around nap time?

Apart from that all there is really is distraction. You can buy toy straps in Mothercare that I used for all sorts when dd was little so whatever it was she fancied, if I could loop the strap through it she could take it out with her. They come in handy forcthecshack pot and you could use them to attach stuff to the trolley too.

Re trolleys - you could try giving her something to hold - fruit? Bag of cotton wool? Anything really.

If none of the above work you do have my empathy it was so bloody wearing!!

Misty9 Mon 15-Oct-12 19:41:53

Think I will invest in one too smile

Misty9 Mon 15-Oct-12 19:42:35
gallifrey Mon 15-Oct-12 23:00:30

She normally sleeps from about 11 until 2 ish but recently I've been giving her lunch first and putting her to bed about 12.30 which means I have to then wake her to get the other one from school at 3!

Today I went out at about 11 so she may have been tired, which does make her behaviour difficult.
I have 2 buggies, a mothercare Xtreme 3 wheeler which is the one she refused to get in earlier and a Silver Cross Pop so maybe I'll try her in that one next time.
Will definitely get one of those snack pots too (if I dare to go into Boots ha ha!)

Thanks everyone x

beela Tue 16-Oct-12 15:46:41

The snack pots are good, just make sure the lid is on properly - DH took DS shopping one day, lid came off, cheerios and raisins all over the floor. DH tried to sneak off but was thwarted by DS pointing and shouting 'oh no!! mess!!!' at the top of his voice!

After much trial and error I have decided that the best time to take my 2yo shopping is immediately after a trip to the park, when he is ready for a sit down and a snack. Having said that, I avoid taking him at all if possible, it's just more trouble than it's worth.

gallifrey Tue 16-Oct-12 17:28:05

Just bought a snack pot, she still refused to sit in her buggy but was much more controllable walking around the shop, and I had my other daughter with me too which always helps as she runs after her!

IWillOnlyEatBeans Tue 16-Oct-12 19:48:55

Online shopping is the way forward!

JollyJackOLantern Tue 16-Oct-12 19:55:51

Ds is nearly 18 months. He was grumping the supermarket today as he was tired and hungry (my fault for structuring our morning badly).

He kept throwing stuff onto the floor. But as soon as I said "if you throw that again I'm taking it away" he stopped. So they can certainly understand threats at 18mo if not rewards.

You can use the reins to tie her into the trolley too. I sometimes do this if shopping somewhere without harnesses on the seats. I also let Ds play with the shopping list and pen. today he ate the list. I was slightly embarrassed

kingbeat23 Tue 16-Oct-12 20:36:51

Ok, I used to have at least 4 dummies in my bag for just in case and we used to talk an awful lot about stuff (we still do) if you see a mum and dd pretending to be horses in a main road in east London, its probably us (this was yesterday so things haven't moved on much). Definitely no shopping when tired although I could time it so she would fall asleep on the way to the shops and I could shop in peace, prep lunch, unpack shopping and have a cup of tea by the time she woke up.

Stroller type buggy better at this age as she could see what was going on a bit more than than the other type for some reason.

Big shop is done online and delivered. Shopping in supermarkets is basket only, if it doesn't fit in the basket and be carried home, we don't get it, her attention span won't last that long.

Talk and engage your child in the experience and if it gets all too much and you don't need vital essentials put the basket down get your things and leave. You don't need to stress so much and it doesn't have to be like that. Don't forget that all parents have been at the samevpoint as you and people judge you for trying your best and making an effort then they aren't worth taking opinions from anyway!

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