Cristina Hassinger wanted to see the school where her mother was murdered. She needed to put the pieces together of what happened that day.

While others gathered at Edmond Town Hall at 9:30 a.m. Friday to mark the six-month anniversary of the Newtown shootings, Hassinger, the daughter of slain principal Dawn Hochsprung, was driving to the former Sandy Hook Elementary School. She would meet a State Police detective who would walk her through the building.

Afterward she sat down with The News-Times to describe the visit in her own words.

I guess I was a little nervous. I was planning to go by myself. I was kind of glad my sister (Erica Lafferty) wasn't available. Anytime I go anywhere that there are details about the shooting, I am hesitant to ask questions because it might upset others who are there.

My stepfather came. George (Hochsprung), he sent me a text message last night and asked if I wanted him to come with me. He had been to the school, but he hadn't been inside.

I always listen to NPR in the car. It's the only news I ever get. They were reporting live from the Newtown Bee. They were talking about how there were satellite trucks all over town.

I was thinking about all the satellite trucks that were all over town the day of the shooting, when my sister and I were driving (to Sandy Hook) and every car was going off that exit. I wondered how many cars in front of me were going to take the exit (today). No other cars got off that exit with me.

I turned up to go to the school but it was all blocked off. I saw George when I got there (at the firehouse). He was walking the dog.

George had brought his dog. Well, it was my mom's dog, really, but it's his dog now. She's a standard poodle named Bella. We were very careful not to bring her to the wake or the funeral. We didn't want to traumatize the dog, as ridiculous as that sounds, and have her go into a depression. For some reason we thought about that.

The detective got there a few minutes after we did. She had a pile of papers and posters and a couple envelopes of things that were in my mom's office. She was going to bring my mom's clothes that she was wearing that day but they weren't ready.

We'd been waiting to get her clothes back and had a lot of conversations about ... if we even wanted them back. I had mixed feelings about not getting them. I was disappointed that I didn't get them, but relieved that I didn't have to deal with that just yet.

We have so many things from her office. What do you do with it all?



We pulled up near the fence and got out. We started talking to the detective about what we were going to do. I told her I wanted to be walked through what happened that day.

We've gotten little pieces of info as it was released publicly ... but I couldn't get it straight in my head. I wanted to put the pieces together.

The detective showed me where he (gunman Adam Lanza) left his car. It was pretty close to the door, around the corner.



The police officer (who was also with us) turned the lights on as we went through. He was ahead of us, like he'd done this before. He knew what the next step was going to be.



We went down the hall and she (the detective) showed me the conference room where the meeting was that Mom, Natalie (Hammond) and Mary (Sherlach) were in. We didn't go inside. It was empty. Not even the furniture was in it.

The detective ... she was almost bracing herself in case we were going to get upset. She looked upset herself.

The detective pointed to the spot where my mom and Mary died. She motioned to the floor to a certain area. I had to restrain myself from jumping back a step. We were standing right there.



You would think the walls would be lined with cubbies, but the rooms were stripped bare. Any signs that something had happened were removed.

They still don't know which classroom was attacked first. They aren't sure which. If they do (know), they didn't tell us. She (the detective) was telling us what they think happened. The only witnesses are little kids, and what's trauma and what's real, it's all very muddy.

When we talked about what happened in the classrooms it was much harder to hear, when you think about the classroom filled with all those little kids. We only stayed a couple of minutes in the rooms.


We went into my mom's office. It was all the way in the back. We didn't talk about anything in there, we just looked for a few seconds and left.

There was a metal mesh garbage can still there with coffee cups in it. I wondered if it was still there from when it was my mom's office. Her desk was still there. I was surprised there was still stuff there because the rest of the place was empty.

There was a silver candy dish. She always had chocolate on her desk for the teachers and herself. She was big on chocolate. My mom had a thing -- it had to be Dove, no Hersheys.

The detective told us that everyone she's talked to, everyone she's interviewed, said good things about my mom.

And George (Hochsprung) said, "There wasn't a thing that she couldn't do in her mind."

He said, "She didn't have a second to think about what was happening. She did what she did. If she did stop to think about it even for a second, she probably would have thought, look at that scrawny little shit. I can take him."

That was definitely my mom. We didn't laugh when he said that -- it's what she would have really thought.

There was a point when we were in the firehouse the day of the shooting, and I forgot who made the announcement, but someone came in and said there were two women who were found in the school. They had been there for hours, hiding in a closet.

My sister looked at me and said, "There is no way in hell my mom would be hiding in a closet. There is just no way."