The solitary confinement of the Aussie bloke

By Farah Farouque
Social affairs editor

February 26, 2005
John Husson with son Patrick:

John Husson with son Patrick: "Most people just don't want to hear what is going on in my head."
Photo: Simon O'Dwyer

Loneliness in Australia has a masculine face. Men tend to experience the condition far more intensely than women, right through from early adulthood to old age, a study suggests.

This gender gap peaks when males hit mid-life. From 35 to 44 they feel the most isolated from friends and other supports, especially if they live alone. These feelings persist right up to their 70s.

The loneliest people in the nation, according to the study's author, Michael Flood, are sole fathers rearing children.

In an Australian first, Dr Flood has tried to quantify what it means to be lonely by constructing an index of social support. The index draws on responses to 10 questions in the Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) survey of more than 13,000 people nationally.

Its central finding is unequivocal: women have better social support networks than men and this makes them more resilient. "There is a striking gap between men and women and their levels of loneliness," Dr Flood says.

John Husson, 34, is an expert at the martial art of Gokanryu, but when it comes to his personal life, he admits to being fragile. He has found it difficult to make emotional and social connections while the sole carer of his son. Patrick, 11, has attention deficit disorder.

"Most people just don't want to hear what is going on in my head," says Mr Husson, who recently moved to Rosebud in search of cheaper housing.

He is reluctant to burden his family and "the mates" with his load, so he battles loneliness by going for long walks by the beach.

"Sure, I feel lonely every day of the week," he says. "That's just part of my life. I have to deal with it."

Since Patrick came to live with him two years ago, Mr Husson has had to leave his job as a cleaner and rely on social security.

The lack of a structured work environment has intensified his isolation. He has also found it difficult to form lasting relationships with women.

The presence of a woman in a household can be a powerful antidote to male loneliness. The study showed that when men lived with women they generally reported far higher levels of personal support than when they were alone.

The presence of a man in a household did not boost women in the same way. Whether they lived alone or with others, women were far more likely than their male counterparts to feel "connected" by friendships and other ties, the study found.

"In short, men need women far more than women need men," says Dr Flood, who has outlined his research in a paper for the Australia Institute social policy think tank.

The institute's executive director, Clive Hamilton, says the report raises questions about whether loneliness and social isolation are growing in Australia.

"The study suggests that increasing numbers of lone households, especially among men, are indeed creating a lonelier society," he says.

Across all age groups surveyed, the research found men were more likely than women to agree with such statements as "I often feel very lonely", "people don't come to visit me as often as I'd like" and "I don't have anyone I can confide in".

Women were far more likely than men to agree with statements such as "I seem to have a lot of friends" or "there is someone who can always cheer me up when I'm down".

Out of 5.9 million Australians aged between 25 and 44, just under 700,000 now live in solo households.