Column: Turkey traumas

Chef Noel Ridsdale
Published Thursday, November 22, 2007

For several years now, First Coast Tech chef instructors and students have assisted to man a Thanksgiving turkey hotline. The simple act of picking up a phone seemed to be more rife with hysterical moments than a wedding planner's entire June, when we were first invited to participate. However, please know we have helped keep the tradition alive as we're invited into homes right on the telephone. We know how many grandkids are coming, who likes dark and who likes the white meat.

We often share example catastrophes between show segments. One of the best calls came from a guy who decided to brine his turkey in his front-load washing machine. All was well until his roommate decided to do laundry in the middle of the night and dumped bleach and dirty clothes all over the brining bird. The briner wanted to know if the turkey would still be OK if they washed all the bleach off. If you don't know the answer to that, please keep the hotline number on your speed dial this Thursday.

Once when I lived in upstate New York, a lady was bragging that she kept her turkey in a snowbank because there was no room in the fridge. It dawned on her that it had snowed again the night before and she had no clue where her turkey was. She hung up on us.

Do you think the hot line operators have a "laugh" button the way Jay Leno and other late-night talk show hosts do, or the way radio shows have a "cough" button?

I had my own turkey trauma the first time I made Thanksgiving dinner for a rag-tag bunch of displaced college friends. At the time, my hotline was my mother. It's embarrassing to think about now that I'm a professional chef, but the memory keeps me humble.

Another call came from a father who was charged with putting the turkey into the oven as his wife went into labor. She hoped her project would be done before the turkey was. Dad called later to say that his wife, baby girl, and the turkey were great!

On the receiving end of all those calls for help, it can be stressful, but with many years in the food service industry, we try to stay calm, reassuring people to master their task at hand.

Occasionally we receive a few calls to offer their special turkey carving and/or cooking techniques. Inevitably they insist their way is best and a lot of them are good. I had a dispute with a man who called about submerging a turkey in water. He wrapped the turkey in his T-shirt and anchored it with a rock. Over the years, I've heard stories galore most with happy endings. It's the tales, adventures and gratitude that make the holidays even more special to those in the industry.

Sharing food is the most universal cultural experience, connecting people to one another, to nature, and to the infinite. So this Thanksgiving when you sit down to feast, think about the tradition that is kept alive through the sharing of food, family, friends and love.

Chef Noel Ridsdale, CEC, CCA, AAC, instructional coordinator for First Coast Tech's School of Culinary Arts, shares an extensive food service background to train students in contemporary industry trends for a lucrative career as culinary professionals.