Last night, the Ronulans decided that they were gonna take their Paul and go home.

Before everyone threw their hands in the air and said, "Okay, Romney, I guess," the Ron Paul campaign tried to leverage the Republican National Committee's delegate rules to get their man in a position to dictate terms at the convention. The campaign targeted primaries that didn't automatically create binding delegate votes and used state conventions to finagle more delegates for their candidate. In this way, Paul lost in the states' primaries but picked up delegates at the conventions anyway. Then, last week, the RNC's rules committee decided to unseat Ron Paul delegates by fiat—the most dreaded of anti-Libertarian modes of action.

The Ron Paul delegate rōnin clamored for a floor vote Tuesday, but were gaveled into irrelevancy by his bronze eminence, House Speaker John Boehner Steve Reeves. Then, last night, the RNC attempted to placate them with a video about Ron Paul and a speech from his son.


Both options were insipid even to people who loathe the good doctor. The video ignored Paul's foreign policy, which not only comprises a significant part of his appeal but also is an area in which his command of history and context far outpaces his former GOP primary opponents. Then there's his son, Rand, twerpy dipshit, peddler of endless appeals to his own victimization and all-around shameless whore—who campaigned on his father's ideological legacy (and his Randroid first name), only to spend the last two years nuzzling lovingly under the throat wattle of Kentucky's own Futuristic Hyperturtle Mitch McConnell.

No wonder the Paulbots had enough. These token gifts of appreciation from the RNC sound like being kicked in the balls in Hell's own Hallmark store, forever. So when the videos ended, the Paulbots walked. Loudly.

Chanting, "As Maine goes, so goes the nation!" they tromped up the staircase from the convention floor and began making a circuit of the lower concourse of the Tampa Bay Times Forum.

Their numbers were significant enough that they took over half of the space available to walk, forcing the non-Paul contingent to hop out of the way and into oncoming foot traffic. Delegates lining up to buy giant soft pretzels were delayed their doughy ecstasy for seconds at a time.

Angry Romney supporters attempted to start counter chants. "USA!" was one bewildering option, as if somehow the Paul supporters were part of some other nation's Republican party. "Rom-ney! Rom-ney!" was another, but, as befits the candidate himself, no one seemed especially enthusiastic about it.

One red-faced-but-otherwise-white guy in a blazer whose color I can only describe as "custard" or "potato-and-leek soup vomit" tried to get in front of the marching Paul supporters and give them a little what-for.

"You're babies. Get over it. You lost," he said, jabbing a hostile finger in the face of a short college-aged woman, who immediately looked like she was about to burst into tears. A male Paul supporter stepped between them and explained that they were marching in support of the democratic process, which the RNC rules committee had derailed.

"You're here for Obama!" yelled beet-faced jizz-jacket. "You're gonna give us four more years of Obama!"

Then, inexplicably, he started chanting, "Four more years! Four more years! Four more years!" I have no idea why he thought this was an effective gambit in the middle of a Republican National Convention powered by anti-incumbency, but there you go.

Pity the Paul delegates, that they do not have better enemies.