Monday, December 5, 2011

How to tell you are dating a male triathlete . . .

I do not know why I felt compelled to write this list. Maybe I have just spent too much time hanging with boys, listening to them gush about their tri-crushes while meanwhile observing the ridiculous essence of "the triathlete" seep into their (and my) personal life. Some of the items on this list are from personal experience and some of them are just from listening to the constant banter of the boys. 

* He runs 2 steps in front of you at all times to prove to the world he isn’t getting chicked

* The underwear he wears during the famous Underwear Run in Kona is sexier than yours

* He doesn’t call you fat but gently reminds you the handful of chocolate covered peanut butter stuffed pretzels you are about to eat aren’t going to help your running.

* The takes the opportunity to drop you on a bike ride to prove his point

* He shaves his legs more than you do and tweets about their awesomeness

* When you express your disappointment in your race he points to his HTFU socks

* A night out consists of ordering in pizza and watching TV until you both pass out around 9:30

* He spends a lot of time and effort cultivating his tan lines
* AND he finds a girl’s bike short tan line sexy because it "shows her dedication to her training"

* He buys you flowers . . . embroidered on a Pearl Izumi cycling jacket because "this year you are going to learn to ride outside during the winter"

* He wears socks to bed . . . with the CEP logo

* Cheering you on during a race consists of pulling down his shorts to reveal his new Speedo as you run by

* The number of shoes he owns is ridiculous and a fact you hide from your dad

* He uses you borrowing his set of race wheels as leverage

* He takes the opportunity to dress like a woman for Halloween and any other kind of costumed gathering.