Death 101: Homework

My brother-in-law died today. He and my sister had been divorced for many years, however, he was still part of the family. He served in the Air Force, but did not have a will. Why was that? He had been ill and knew that his time was almost up and yet, no will. What was he thinking? It was something he could do for free as a way to tie up loose ends and pave the way for those that followed.

When I was 27-years-old, my dad died. He was only 53.  My mom died when I was 40. Neither of them had a will or life insurance.  When I was 48, my husband died. You can bet we both had wills, medical proxies, living wills and anything else that would help the living deal with the dying.

In the book titled, Regrets of the Dying – the first regret often shared is this:
“I wish I’d have to courage to live a life true to myself and not the life others expected of me.”

When I’ve asked others if they would take a different path and do something different, I am often told, “NO.”
They would not change a thing.
But I would. I would change everything.

Because if I change everything, then it’s a whole different tapestry. It’s still a work of colorful art, with threads that might go north and south instead of east and west.  It’s me. It’s like taking the road less traveled and coming out of the woods onto a blank canvas. I would still choose marriage eventually, but I would be older, educated and have allowed myself to experience the music, love and drugs of my time. I would have attended concerts, universities, lectures, and traveled across my country and abroad.

And by doing all those things I would have learned a bit more about me. There’s nothing wrong with the path I took. I had two beautiful sons, eventually got my education, moved to another state, met amazing people, took wonderful trips and landed where I am … right here and now.

…Writing this blog to you about death and taking the necessary steps before you die.

Those steps include writing a will, finding a medical proxy, writing your obituary (yes, you heard me!) writing love letters to all those people who need to hear from you, making phone calls and mending friendships. Do something kind today and each day until you take your last breath. Care to take this challenge? You can start by being kind to me and leaving me a ‘Hello’ message below.

I hope your day is filled with light, kindness and love!

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