Can’t Help But Be Mad

So that sadness I constantly felt, well, awesome news: I’ve graduated from that feeling. However, now I have transcended to being angry. I can’t help but be pissed off with everything. If in the past people have thought that I have no have patience for others, then they should see me now. 

I loved university.. for the first 2 years. now nothing makes me happier than the thought of leaving. Maybe it’s not being pissed all the time but having no time for other people’s bullshit. 

Scenario: the person your friend liked who you never liked and you know he acted like a fucking idiot toward her, approaches us. They’re talking they have some flirty vibe and you point blank say, “all the guys in this uni fucking suck.” Then look at him straight in the eye. I actually dont have a problem with men, at all, however i would have confessed to a murder if that would mean he left. Obviously not even my friends appreciated that but I still dont regret saying that to him. 

I’m so angry that it would be easier if people found me stand-offish and would rather walk away from the little ball of hate.

Scenario dos: the person you dealt with for a year but really don’t like becomes to much for you. This girl constantly trying to buddy her way to my friends but is still rude to them. I have had enough and feel like I didn’t need to deal with it for any longer so I stopped. The way when they talk about her I just try to stop it in an obvious way and they say “wow you really hate her.” Most of the time I just say what theyre all thinking yet it blows up in my face. Being honest isn’t enough for people. 

My mum always tells me that being blunt is my problem. “You can say the nicest thing yet if someone says something meaner but with a sweeter attitude they will prefer what the other person said.” 

I cant help but be angry. I don’t know what it is. 

I am always the bad guy. When people say they are the protagonist in their own life, I somehow still turn out to be the villain in mine.


I Can’t Deal With Unwanted Attention

My blog is by no means a relationship feed or filled with articles about boys. I am no Carrie Bradshaw and have no intention to be.
I think I have made it clear on this site that I am destined to be spinster. Especially seeing as I am terrified of commitment and much rather spend time with my friends discussing cats or fictional characters.
I make my need for a relationship clear in real life. With men and women alike, saying that I don’t see myself in a relationship and can’t stand the effort of other people beyond friendship.
But why oh why do guys think that I am not being serious. Why do they think my insults is flirting? Why must they put me on an awkward situation?

I appreciate men who friendzone me and I friendzone them, being friends and understand the boundaries. But some boys think that if I refer to them as a buddy and thinl that they should flirt anyway. My body is not capable of flirting, my childish face, bad hair and chubby stomach screams unattractive. I’m not trying to not look good but it happens.

The experience that spurred this one was that one “friend” who I haven’t seen in a few months, started to be more awkward than usual. In the past I have spoken about girls that he may like and my views on relationships so it’s pretty clear that I don’t want any unnecessary attention. In general I tend to have awkward reactions to very explicit conversations. Today in particular he singled me out of my friends and sat a little to close to comfort. Asked me about things that I haven’t told him, so clearly seen via snap chat months ago. He chose to spend time sitting with me than with his own friends until I told him that he should go. But not before hearing my friend mention something about my bra size under her breath. To which he continued to pester me about which size I really was. I told him very clear that I wasn’t gonna tell him but he made remarks that he wasn’t gonna quit. He then returned and mentioned about it again. My friends just made jokes that they were right that he wasn’t a friend and just an awkward fuckboy.

I haven’t noticed before but I’ve been told many times that he’s checked me out head to toe when my back is turned. Also the fact that he only greets my group of friends when I’m around. Which he makes an effort to sit next to me even asking me to move my belongings and make space for him. The worst thing is when he tries to touch my feet cos I put my legs on the table (with shoes obviously. But it’s still weird.)

People would probably just say if you were attracted to him it would be different. And to that I would say maybe. I haven’t been attracted to a real person I’ve met since I was 13 and I only fall for people with a personality to match mine and I need to know someone very very well before I get those romantic feelings. And I hate that he thinks he knows me well. The reason I’m not attracted to him is because of him. His face is decent and I can see if people are attracted to him but thinking about his face makes me feel sick.

I wanna be nice but don’t wanna give out the wrong impression. I’m done with the inappropriate comments, kissy faces and the touching.

The main reason I wrote this is because I feel weird but at the same time feel like I’m over exaggerating.
Why do guys flirt with friends? Or am I just being too sensitive?

Working in Retail Has Made Me Lose Faith in Humanity

It sounds over dramatic. And rather brash. But it is the honest truth. Everyday that I work in this shop has actually made me lose my faith in humanity. Not only is it shitty customers but also a shitty boss. The idiocy that comes from some people actually makes me physically cringe in front of their very faces. But what’s worse than this is the smartasses that have superior look on their face.

I am no longer nice to my customers as I have no reason to be. Every now and then there will be a customer who you genuinely like but then that satisfaction is rather short lived as another ass hole walks through the door.

But it’s sad that even though it is something I do once a week, I still have to do it.

I hate my job and my boss and am probably the only teenager who dreads Saturday for the very reason of working.

Yep, I sound like a bitch. And I really don’t care.

To Be In Love With Destruction

I have recently been through some of my old stuff and boy, does it suck. It’s not like “aw I wrote this when I was a young ‘un #nostalgia”. No, it’s way more like “what the hell was I thinking?” To be completely honest it wasn’t very good, it’s almost like I thought I was good so it came off kind of pretentious but overall it was just appalling.
However in the blizzard of shamefulness, I found a piece that I actually liked. So I made some minor tweeks and here it is. Enjoy

Destruction is an art form
An art much like love
Because no matter how you look at it
From all love no matter how innocent
No matter how pure
Eventually leads to destruction
To war
To hate
To love and destroy is a somewhat beautiful concept
Lovers are destroyed
And it hurts
Not physically nor mentally
But it hurts your very soul
And you can hear beating of your once existent heart
It continues takes until
There’s nothing left
Not even the pain that once kept you company.

6 Movies Everyone Loves But I Still Hate

This is just my opinion, feel free to disagree.

6. Harry potter

(This is just about the movies not the books).
Okay, everyone thinks I’m a monster for not liking this movie. However, honestly, I do not get the appeal. So a kid, who sleeps in an attic because his parents abandoned him or died, finds out he’s a wizard. Meets a bunch of wizard kid and play Quidditch. That’s really all there is. The rest of the movie is just building a scenes. It is indeed creative but not original and good for Rowling selling her idea for plenty of money. But the movie is such a bore. I love the actors but there is something about this movie. The setting is built well but I don’t really feel like there is a story line. The kids also fit into all the stereotypes; the nerdy kid, the perfect girl and the kid who tries a little too hard. I watched this as a kid and fell asleep in the cinema. The story line just seems to be non existent but the fact that there are magical kids distract people from this fact.

5. Dirty dancing

First off, I really should’ve known this movie is bad when I heard “everyone called me baby”. So, this story is “summer love” where a rich little kid goes to a fancy ass white country club. And initially hates the bad boy but plot twist they fall in love. Who could’ve seen that coming? So Mr. Bad Boy and Baby supposedly love each other but they don’t have a real conversation and when they do it turns into a very cringe worthy sex scene. Ultimately, it’s a story of summer lust where Baby realised her dad isn’t perfect and goes through a minor rebellious streak. No matter how much I love Patrick Swayze not even he could redeem this train wreck of a movie.

4. Hunger games

(Again based purely on the movie because I loved the books)
The production was good but I can’t say much else nice. The movie relied too much on fans who read the books, the person I went to watch it with left for two minutes and then I had to explain the whole storyline. I tried to show everything in the book but ended up coming all jumbled and kind of a mess. Some parts that didn’t need to be were unnecessarily long and others were rushed through. Take Rue’s death for example this was my favourite part in the book but the movie butchered it. It didn’t quite capture it properly as it was rushed and not fully developed.
The character of gale pissed me of in the book and the movie. I hated this so-called “love” triangle. He wasn’t even in the running. Honestly, I think the movie didn’t focus on Peeta enough and wanted to give Gale more air time than he needed.
I need to comment on the lack of violence, I know they had to dial it down in order to keep it PG but it’s about people killing other people for entertainment, if people were offended if there was violence then they shouldn’t watch it. It should’ve been 15 and include the necessary violence.

3. Avatar

So James Cameron apparently waited 15 years to make this movie. In that time he should’ve thought about executing it better. Once you get past the pretty pictures which will happen in the first half hour you eventually realise that there is still 2 hours to go. So for most of the movie they just show the planet and how pretty and supposedly perfect it is. Then in the last minute they build and complete a story. Humans trying to take nature, power hungry bastards, how original.
The worst thing is was that this could’ve been a good movie. If it was condensed and all the shit was cut out, or not made excruciatingly long then all in all it would’ve been so bad. The story could have been developed properly and not rely to much on the computer imagery.

2. Brave

This movie bored me to tears and I should’ve have turned it off sooner but I watched right until the end. An hour and a half of my life I will never get back. Apparently, it is a “heart touching story of a mother and daughter”. I watched it with my mum and we both shared a heart to heart about how crap it was. So “Merida” is Disney’s epitome of a feminist, simply because she doesn’t want to marry some barbaric prince. Her mother and her disagree on marriage and Merida’s lifestyle. Sounds okay so far, doesn’t it?
Well, this is where shit gets stupid, Merida runs to the forest at night and follows some jellyfish looking things to a line cottage. And when you see a lone cottage you just have to walk into it, which is of course what Merida does. She decides to tell her problems to the “old lady” who lives in the creepy cottage and takes a pie which apparently makes her mum agree with her. Yes, take a pie from a stranger and it will sort out all her problems. Long story short, she trusts this lady enough to give pie to her mum (which could be laced with cyanide) and her mum turns in to a bear. Yes, a bear.

1. Grease

I actually liked this film the first time I watched it then I watched it like a year later and realised how much it sucked. I’m not going to tell you everything wrong in the plot because if you have seen (which everyone has) you’ll already be familiar with these. Once again in the running is a summer lust story. It’s essentially the same as Dirty Dancing but with a change of scenery. Anyway Danny and Sandy meet on the beach but after summer Sandy has to leave. Last minute change of plan and all of a sudden she staying, and going to school in America. Out of all the schools in, all the states she goes to the same as Danny (I guess if she didn’t they couldn’t have made shitloads of money for the story). However she doesn’t she doesn’t tell danny that she’s staying she turns up to the school where he told everyone he fucked her (but you can’t say that in a family film). So she supposedly loves him but can’t even write (or whatever they did then) to tell him she’s staying. There are some songs, blah. Like every other movie ever made they don’t fit into each other’s cliques, so instead of doing the reasonable thing and just accept one another and tell they’re friends to deal with it. They do the next best solution and change themselves and betray everything they have ever known for someone that they met for about a month. In the end seeing as sandy tarts herself, Danny sees no reason to change.

So this was my (kind of) rant. Thanks for reading to this point, even if you hated it.