The answer man is here, ready to reveal whatever you want to know about this 50th Summerfest. Yes, you in the front, first question please. 

You're making up these questions yourself, aren't you? They're not really from readers.

OK, you got me. Who's next?

My friend insists that Summerfest, born in 1968, actually turns 50 next year in 2018. Are we jumping the gun here?

Don't overthink this. Unlike people, who have to wait a year for their first birthday, Summerfest '68 turned 1 the minute it opened. So this is the 50th fest, even though only 49 years have passed. You watch, next year they're going to call it the 50th anniversary of the first one, even though it will be the 51st Summerfest. Get it?

I see they're having a Millennial Day this year. What the heck. When is Baby Boomer Day?

Calm down, grandpa. Most of the past 49 years have catered to baby boomers. Summerfest needs to think about building an audience for the future. You still see plenty of gray-hairs at the lakefront, but I interviewed half a dozen boomers who were at the very first Summerfest, and none of them are going anymore. And when oldsters do attend, they want to catch the musical equivalent of the early bird special, like Foghat at 4 in the afternoon.

Was anyone ever born at Summerfest?

Not that I'm aware of, but I dare say some people were conceived there.

Are you excited about the newly renovated Miller Lite Oasis stage?

The Summerfest grounds have improved so much over the years. I thought it was funny that one of the improvements at the oasis was said to be "easier access to beer." There is more access to beer at Summerfest than the Titanic had to sea water.

If I need the first aid station at Summerfest, will that be covered under Obamacare or one of the Republican health care plans floating around?

I don't know. Neither maybe? They just fix you up and send you back to the crowds. Let's keep politics out of Summerfest. If we repeal and replace anything there, it should be the long restroom lines.

With the success of the U.S. Open at Erin Hills, was there any thought of changing the name of the fest to Summerfescue?

Let's try to stay focused here, people. I think the statute of limitations for fescue jokes has run out. Same with the U.S. Cellular Covfefe Stage. Ain't gonna happen.

Do you think Summerfest will ever be an international phenomenon, as one of its executives was quoted this week?

Perhaps in the same way Mitchell International Airport claims to be international. The Summerfest founding fathers knew not to overpromise. I found a statement by Howard J. Meister, who was president of Milwaukee World Festival Inc. way back in 1968: "By 1970, this is going to be a whooper-dooper," he said. That's the year the fest moved to its current site, and its whooper is even more dooperish now. In another decade or so, the thriving festival will be old enough to qualify for its own senior admission discount.

Former Mayor Henry Maier deserves a lot of credit for creating Summerfest, and in fact the festival park is named after him. It must have been really easy to sell an event that combines music, beer, fried food and sunshine, right? 

You'd be surprised. We don't decide anything quickly here. An earlier annual blowout called the Midsummer Festival stopped during World War II. Interest in bringing back something similar grew in the 1950s. Maier was elected in 1960 and put together a committee a couple years later, but it took forever until 1968 before the first keg was tapped. I wish I could say I was smart enough to know all this, but I just read it during a visit to the Milwaukee County Historical Society's Summerfest history exhibit, which runs through Sept. 29.

What's the best-kept secret about Summerfest? 

The craziest parties are on the Freeway Flyer buses at closing time.


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