back to article Ellison ditches own cloud keynote for billionaires' America's Cup boat race



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  1. Don Jefe

    Meh. Keynotes suck anyway. Unless you're doing near real-time journalism and/or an analyst (or hero worshiper) nothing gets said that won't wait a day. Besides you can get better seats at the preferred watering hole if you establish your beachhead during the speech.

    Ellison probably would have been extra dicky anyway, if he had to miss his boat race. His speeches are nearly unbearable on a good day.

    1. Bob Vistakin

      Oracle and another mass exodus? There's a pattern here

      This asshole tried to sue Google and lost.

      The inevitable result: Is anyone even aware it's JavaOne this week? Last time I caught their podcast (2012), even the Java Posse were openly saying they were considering skipping it now. More fail evidence? The JavaOne app is for ... Android and iPhone.

    2. Potemkine Silver badge

      Keynotes suck anyway

      That may explain the success of the strippers club then ^^

  2. Mother Hubbard

    Larry, still teaching.

    15 Ways to Tell Its Not Cloud Computing


    If you know where the CEO is... it's not a cloud.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Larry, still teaching.

      He prefers to be called "Lairy".

  3. JeffyPoooh Silver badge

    BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

    The Oracle America's Cup boat was sabotaged. Somebody with no ethics and a weak moral code sneakily attached a huge 'Ask Toolbar' to the underbelly of the boat; it skewed the steering and impacted performance.

    1. JeffyPoooh Silver badge

      Re: BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

      More details on this incident are still coming in...

      The unwanted 'Ask Toolbar' was attached to the Oracle boat with a long thin rope. The rope was long enough that the impact of the Ask Toolbar was delayed for ten minutes. This unethical trick made detection of the giant 'Ask Toolbar' by the Oracle boat crew much more difficult. They were well into the race before they noticed something wrong.

      The Oracle boat was dragged off course by the hidden underwater giant 'Ask Toolbar' attached to the underside of the boat. The boat crashed off course and got tangled up in some advertising banners lining the course.

      It's mayhem.

      1. JeffyPoooh Silver badge

        Re: BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

        OMG. The chaos continues!

        With the crew's view blocked by the tangled mess of advertising banners, they become utterly lost... the cloud.

        Oh the Humanity!

      2. onefastskater

        Re: BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

        My theory is that Larry has a small nuclear powered submarine with a big magnetic running under the bay just ahead of the Oracle Team USA boat!

        When your losing try harder. If you are still losing cheat.

        1. Shrimpling

          Re: BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

          The boats are made of Carbon fibre... Its more likely to just be a rope.

        2. NormansLament

          Re: BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

          Big magnetic what? oh you mean magnet.

  4. spiny norman

    Is Larry losing interest ... again? He missed the last quarter earnings analyst conference call as well. Last time he lost interest, Ray Lane took control. Maybe this time it's Hurd's turn. I'm sure there's irony there, but i can't see what it is.

  5. asdf Silver badge


    Classic. I wonder if Oracle will be sending out emails tomorrow reminding their workforce they can view the keynote online. Someone might want to stop that automated email lol.

    1. Thunderbird 2




      Quick before there is a flood of REPLY-to-ALL

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    this should give everyone a pretty clear idea ...

    ... about how much Ellison really cares about this Cloud Thing.

    Just sayin'.

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: this should give everyone a pretty clear idea ...

      If I owned an A.C. super-boat I'd damn well be watching it rather than attending a conference too. Those things are incredible.

  7. AussieCanuck46

    Keynote is What?

    My opinion only, but every keynote speech I've ever heard was nothing more than advertisement, that the audience paid to hear, and got to be part of the recorded audience for other dickheads to watch saying "I know that dickhead." Oh the light show and music are great, aided by the open bar on the way in and the cheerleaders leading up to...the keynote.

    If you're lucky during smoko a near-god will accidentally find him/herself near you to spout some story about how this company is destined for greatness, or more greatness, or continual greatness, depending on how long the company has basked in the greatness of greatness. And when will you decide to buy?

    They're great parties, huh? As long as you can hold your chunder they are. Seen one, seen 'em all. How can I quickly get away from this one before I hurl and still claim my expenses?

  8. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    Its like ...

    ... attending a Gallagher act and not getting splattered by watermellon guts.

    Mine's the one with the seeds stuck to it.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They didn't miss much

    In the future don't even bother wasting people's time by scheduling this clown.

  10. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Poor form, Larry

    Your company is stagnating because of competition from SaaS vendors, and you bail out to watch the America's Cup? Don't you think that appearing in front of your most important customers and prospects to assure them of Oracle's cloud strategy is more important than watching a boat race--even if you forked over tens of millions on the boat?

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Poor form, Larry

      Important to who?

  11. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Photo of the errant keynote speaker here..

    No, don't think it's Paris that is next to him

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: Photo of the errant keynote speaker here..

      Is that the Oracle or the Team Amurrica boat? I can't tell.

    2. MartinBZM

      Re: Photo of the errant keynote speaker here..

      The caption on that pic should read something abrasive including words like "Heil" and "Me".


      I hope the walkouts from the "keynote" show their appreciation of his "I could not care less" attitude with a "I will not pay for your shit" purchasing decision.

  12. MchJ

    All play and no work makes Larry a... very rich man?

  13. WinHatter

    I supported Oracle

    until force fed MS SQL and now I don't give a flying crap ... it's just a DB and given the necessary amount of RAM to fit a selection of tables I don't see the difference.

  14. Julian Smart

    Oh, LARRY!!!

  15. Mr C

    choose between talking or watching a boatrace..

    no really, if i was him (or at least have his bankaccount) i wouldn't give it a second thought either.

    I'd choose boats, chicks, and fresh sea air over a packed and smelly theater room any day of the week, wouldn't you?

    the boats go (and will be replaced by, say, formula one cars), but the customers will keep paying regardless :P

  16. Dabbb Bronze badge

    To be honest today's race made more for worldwide brand recognition than any OOW would ever do. And what a race it was.

    1. sabroni Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Good point

      When I want to pick a database vendor the one with the fastest boat is always first on my list.

  17. PeterM42

    "....when you're as well-off as King Larry,..... don't need to care much about" your customers and what a PAIN it is to support Oracle

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Was Larry on the boat?

    Or was it Harry?

  19. No Quarter

    If I had just paid a bezilllllion dollars....

    ... and my boat had come back from 8-1 down to 8 all, I wouldn't hang around a conference either.

    This is sporting history being made and it could be another Headingley 1981.

    1. Paul Smith

      Re: If I had just paid a bezilllllion dollars....

      Why, what happened in Headingly in 1981?

      1. Dabbb Bronze badge


        allegation to win in a game so bizarre and boring that only Indian in Britons can enjoy I suppose.

  20. Matt_payne666
    Thumb Up

    being a racing yachtsman myself I may have a bias, but I know what id rather do...

    Keynote speech or watch my million $ yacht win the final race of the Americas cup and clinch the overall title after coming back from a 7-1 defeat...

    or putting things another way.... room full of sweaty nerds or champagne and tier 1 chicks....

    Id take the racing any day!

    1. onefortheroad

      bring it back

      best of luck for the final race Emirates Team New Zealand

    2. Getriebe

      "room full of sweaty nerds or champagne and tier 1 chicks...."

      As an ex-deck gorillia from my yoof - I'm with you. Sorta made you want to win, a bit more

  21. BJS
    Thumb Up

    yet another keynote? or sailboats topping 40 knots on hydrofoils?

    I hope that mass exodus was to Americas Cup Park to watch the race.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If the guy cannot even work a Digital Video Recorder, then why should I let him run my cloud?

    Whatever he spent on building that boat, he just lost twenty times that in customer revenue.

  23. linuxyeti

    See, who says an organisation's customer service and support departments don't take their lead from the top !! At least O'Bleary had the deceny Ryanair's s**t customer service stems from his very own attitude !!

  24. jamesbee

    On the upside though, his boat won!

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