Tag Archives: Pun

Happy Birthday, Spud

15 Jan







Joke 986

4 Dec

Thanks to Vivinfrance for today’s joke.



“Wow!” said her father.  “That was short.  You usually talk for two hours.  What happened?”

“Wrong number,” she replied.


Some more from the archive:







Navy regulations prohibit underwater promotion to the ministry.

Doing so would constitute insubordination.


Government Philosophy:

If it ain’t broke, fix it ’til it is.



Talk about Dyson with death. 


What noise does a grammatically correct owl make?


Joke 972

20 Nov

Q: What does a nosy pepper do?

A: Gets jalapeno business


Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

A: An impasta


Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A: An investigator


Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?

A: It went back four seconds


Q: What do lawyers wear to court?

A: Law suits


Q: What do you call a fat psychic?

A: A four chin teller



A: A Dell Rolling in the Deep


source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/cleanjokes.html


Joke 959

7 Nov
[victorian child care]

[victorian child care] (Photo credit: RHiNO NEAL)

To pre-empt the complaint that the jokes are getting older as we near the magic 1001 number, my friend Steph sent me some really old jokes – they are all Victorian, found at historytoday.com

  • Why are circus horses the slowest breed? Because they are taught horses.
  • WIFE: “You loved me before we were married!”  HUSBAND: “Well, now it’s your turn!”
  • Pawnbrokers prefer customers without any redeeming qualities.
  • Moving in unfashionable circles: wearing a crinoline.

Joke 953

1 Nov
English: Joke shield of Princess Beatrice of York.

English: Joke shield of Princess Beatrice of York. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Bad puns, because it’s Friday.



It was wrong on so many levels.


I can’t think of any kayak brands, canoe?


Always trust glue salesmen. They tend to stick to their word.


The concert violinist exercised regularly.

He was fit as a fiddle.


My new girlfriend and I are moving into a tree house.  I hope we don’t fall out.


From Punoftheday, if you’re looking for someone to blame.

Joke 952

31 Oct

How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one?
By her suntan.

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.

When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.

What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.

A monster with an all over perm. 

 Why are banshees good tennis players?
They make a good old racket.



These were all lifted straight from Tom Merriman’s blog, Within the Sphere, because I have no shame – in intellectual property theft or in sharing terrible jokes.  I love ’em.

Joke 943

22 Oct

Even more from the top fifty jokes of all time

ATT00076 Cat joke cartoon

ATT00076 Cat joke cartoon (Photo credit: DrJohnBullas)



Stewart Francis

Last week my mother-in-law fell into a wishing well.  I can’t believe it actually worked.



Will Marsh


Emo Phillips

So I said to a Scotsman, ‘Did you have terrible spots as a kid?’

He said ‘Och, nay.’


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