7 Reasons I'm Glad I Never Had a Daughter

When my wife was pregnant with our first child, I convinced her that we'd be surprised with the baby's sex. She wanted to know; I didn't. We compromised and said we wouldn't for the first kid, but it's her choice on the second. I believe that was the first (and last) time I ever won an argument.

She ended up loving the surprise and decided to stay in the dark the second time as well. And as luck would have it, we had boys both times. To be honest, I originally didn't care about the sexes, I just wanted a completely healthy baby. There were too many horror stories that hit close to home, so a healthy boy or girl was all I cared about.

Fast forward a good seven or so years and I'm now quite happy, make that ecstatic, that we have two incredibly awesome boys. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I'm totally relieved we never had a girl.


Yes, they're made of sugar and spice and everything nice. But what spices are we talking about here? I'm not a big fan of nutmeg. And I totally can't stand allspice. No, I'm quite glad my wife and I never had a daughter. And here's 7 big reasons to back that up:

1. Princess of Power - No Disney Princesses! In fact, the only princess my boys would even consider talking about is one named Leia, and she lives in a galaxy far, far away.

2. Flush It - For some reason, women seem to use up an insane amount of toilet paper on a daily basis. What the heck are they doing in there, making life-size Egyptian dioramas? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if I had a daughter, I'd need to take out a second mortgage just to keep the bathroom stocked.

3. Go With the Flow - Women will roll their eyes and call us sexist but it's true. That time of the month is a brutal one for everyone involved. Especially the guys. Introduce another estrogen-producing factory in the house and the monthly visits will get twice as painful.

4. Pregnant Pause - When boys start dating, they have just one thing on their minds. And it's pretty much the same thing men are thinking about. Yeah, guys are just pigs. Honestly, I have no idea how fathers even let their daughters date. I'd be afraid to let her take even one step out of the house for fear she'd somehow get knocked up.

5. Clothes Call - If my nieces are any indication, girls don't just like changing their outfits, they love it. On a recent visit, my nieces must've changed their wardrobe at least four times apiece. And that was just in the first hour! No way my wallet (or patience) could stomach that much shopping! 

6. Bieber Fever - I just don't get it and thankfully with two boys, I never will.

7. Stop Stall-ing - Like I said, men are pigs. They're also pretty messy and disgusting. Having to bring my daughter into a public men's room would be a pretty traumatic experience. Most likely for my daughter too.

What do your daughters do that drive you crazy?

Photo via Janine/Flickr

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