I do not live in an Islamic country (Canada) and I am a Sunni Hanafi Muslim. I know there is no concept of boyfriend/girlfriend in Islam, but my heart belongs to another Muslim man who I have known well for a few years. At first my parents approved of him and everything was great, but now they refuse outright to give my hand in marriage to him because he is "not of our clan" and other ridiculous reasons, such as his ethnicity. Now I feel they are being ridiculous and looking for more excuses and it hurts me. I do not have their support, but I am in love with him, as he is a kind and good Muslim and he has treated me well.

I want to a halal Nikkah with him at our local mosque with an Imam, but I don't have a Wali. My father doesn't approve for the same reasons, I can't make sense of it. At the end of the day we are all Muslim, but they won't part with such opinions.

I have decided I want to marry anyway and make our relationship halal. What can I do without a Wali? I have no other family who lives here (other male guardians, such as uncle/grandfather are all extremely distant or passed away). I have done some reading and as Hanafi I don't think a Wali is needed, but I just want to make sure.

We will still have his family and two male Muslims as witnesses, so it is not exactly a secret "Nikkah" but my heart aches for my family refusing my happiness and to get married over such ridiculous beliefs.

Also, I would like to know if the marriage is completely halal after Nikkah for us to be alone and spend time together. We would also be planning a celebratory wedding ceremony with friends/family the day after or so.

Can the Imam be a Wali? Or am I okay without it? Please do let me know, thank you very much.

  • AFAIK only an experienced (formally married) woman can marry herself in the hanafi school of fiqh. Note that marrying without your parents might be regarded as a offense and might create more confusing and misunderstandings between your possible husband and your family. – Jamila Feb 11 at 5:53
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    I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because we are not a fatwa site. – UmH Oct 16 at 9:27

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