4 Ways to Overcome Fear of Failure

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4 Ways to Overcome Fear of Failure

  Fear of failure can feel so overwhelming and can be difficult to deal with if we don't know how to cope with it. Most people feel too embarrassed to speak about their fear of failure so they may keep it to themselves and suffer silently. That's unfortunate because fear of failure and anxiety can often get better if we learn how to cope with it.  Left unchecked our fear of failure can negatively affect our work, relationships, and our ability to make important changes in our lives.

 It can also contribute to lower self-esteem or depression if it gets out of hand. It's important to remember that the purpose of our fear and anxiety is to protect us from danger. It's unrealistic not to have any fear or anxiety walking through difficult or new experiences. Rather than being totally anxiety free, the point is to learn how to reduce it enough so that you can walk through life's challenges.

 Below are four ways to help you overcome fear of failure.

 Steps to overcoming fear of failure

  1.  Get in touch with what is holding you back

 Sometimes we can be so full of anxiety about something that we don't even know what's bothering us about it. Really taking the time to understand the source of our fear and anxiety is important because the first way to deal with a problem is to understand it better.

 Maybe you’re worried about making a mistake or are dealing with perfectionism? Maybe you're worried about failing because you fear letting other people down? It could be that you’re putting all this pressure on yourself because succeeding means something fundamentally important to you and your identity?  The better you understand your concerns, the more likely you will be able to find a solution to them.

   2.   Practice self-compassion

 Often times we can be our worst critics and really get down on ourselves. Try

practicing being gentle with yourself. I know it seems counterintuitive, but research shows that self-compassion can be an effective way of feeling less anxious and depressed. People who are able to affirm themselves are less likely to fear failure and beat themselves up with harsh words and judgments. When's the last time anyone wanted to do anything when they were feeling down?

   3. Remind yourself of your past successes

 Sometimes we can get so caught up in imagining bad outcomes that we can totally forget our past successes. When we are anxious we tend to forget all of the positive things we did in the past. Anxiety makes it hard to apply our logic and gain a more objective perspective on the situation and ourselves.

 Try writing down your past accomplishments or times when you succeeded in the past.   This technique can help improve our self-worth and can remind us about our abilities, instead of the terrible outcomes that we imagine will happen. It can be a powerful way to see the problem for what it truly is and move forward.

  4. Imagine how you would deal with the failure

 It would be unrealistic if we didn’t recognize that we actually could be unsuccessful at what we are trying to accomplish. The important part here is imagining how you would deal with it. Why? Because when you mentally prepare for the worst-case scenario, you are less likely to fear it and you have a game plan for how to get through it. Meaning that you probably will have less anxiety about failing, because even if you do you’ll know how to get thorough it.

 Putting it all together to overcome fear of failure

 Dealing with fear of failure can be difficult for sure. These techniques can make it more manageable and may even help you move forward in a positive way. Remember to be patient with yourself and acknowledge any progress that you make. The further you move in this direction the more confidence you will gain.  You will be more likely to achieve your goals.

 If you are interested in working with me to learn how to manage your anxiety or other difficulties, please call me at (949) 873-4053 or visit my website at www.drzeralon.com to schedule a free phone consultation.




Looking Within to Find Answers

When experiencing personal struggles and difficulties, it seems logical to search for the support of family and friends. What’s usually received in return is well intentioned advice from loved ones who truly do want to help. Sometimes advice is helpful, however, more often than not it can just end up feeling invalidating - either you’re not feeling heard, or the advice given tends to obscure self-discovery and psychological insight.

Sometimes, other peoples’ advice just doesn’t fit, and you need to reach deeper within yourself to find answers.

What’s right for you and how you can come to trust and appreciate yourself is at the core of the Person-Centered Therapy. The influential psychologist Carl Rogers developed Person-Centered Therapy, finding that people are likely to flourish when their therapist is warm, genuine, and accepting.

Rogers believed that if therapists were empathetic, the people would be free to explore their inner and outer experiences and would come to appreciate themselves thus gaining increased psychological insight, self-esteem, empathy for self and others, reality-testing, and improved decision making. In fact, research has found that Person-Centered Therapy is effective for a wide variety of individuals and difficulties.

The idea of looking into yourself to find answers to your problems seems daunting, and there are certainly factors that can make it even more difficult.  In today’s society, we are constantly bombarded with messages from advertising, media and even our own families and friends telling us how to act, what to buy and what we should be doing.  It’s much more valuable to focus your energy on “What’s right for me, who am I, and where am I going?”

Self-reflection can be difficult, especially if your inner truth conflicts with what society is bombarding us with. However, with a sense of acceptance, openness, and patience, we can begin to grow towards this beneficial practice.

There are many paths towards insight and self-knowledge such as meditation, journaling, and professional therapy. However each person will need to see what works for them. For me personally, I find meditation and keeping a journal of my personal experience to be revealing and grounding. In my next blog post, I will expand upon these and other practices which can promote psychological insight and wellness throughout one's life.