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When a Loved One's Personality Changes . . .

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by Rainman, Sep 10, 2015.

  1. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Drugs can and do at times change people's personalities.

    It could happen to your loved one. Should your loved one's personality be changed by drugs how can you help this person who [it seems like] is a total stranger?
  2. LindaSuzanne

    LindaSuzanne Active Contributor

    I think this is the hardest part, watching a loved one turn into someone you don't know and even despise. I have had to harden my heart to my son who tried heroin at 16 and became an addict at 18. At 34 he still takes Subutex although he weaned himself off it once. Unfortunately once he stopped taking them he was back on the heroin so the doctor advised him to carry on indefinitely. He has now turned to alcohol.

    The change in him is enormous. He is totally self absorbed and blames everyone but himself for the way things have turned out. How can I help him? I don't think I can now although god knows I tried in the past. He has to learn to help himself now if that's possible.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @LindaSuzanne... Try to stay strong, and be sure to take care of yourself. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. I will keep you and your son in my thoughts and prayers.

    Peace and hugs.
    Whiskers and LindaSuzanne like this.
  4. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I've seen this way too many times. The worse case in my little area was of a known weed smoker who would normally, just be his high self until one day something happened. Maybe we'll never know what caused it and many assumed it was a weird mixture of something. He turned into a serious nut case causing all kinds of problems in the mall until he was arrested and taken to the pyschiatric hospital. Months later he's back to his usual high self. I mention him because he's the most recent example I have have witnessed of a completely changed person. Granted his personality change was short term.

    Still, there are several others whose personalities have changed as I watched them grow. Weed smokers will mostly tell you there are now thinking at a higher level. My most outstanding case has dropped tons of pounds and has been become the Messiah of Weed.

    LindaSuzzane, I pray for relief for you and your son.
    LindaSuzanne likes this.
  5. rapido

    rapido Member

    The best you can do is to offer them your love,concern and support without enabling their addiction.In addition, keep nudging them to seek help to address their addiction.
  6. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    Just a minor correction. I do not believe our personalities can change. Our personalities are innate traits about us. Our characters can change however, because as we grow different things are added to our character. When the character of love ones have changed, it makes me fearful at times; But I still have to hold to the fact that people do change and we have no control over them. We have to just try to influence them positively.
  7. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    Yes, because at the same time, we cannot give them the impression that we are condoning their activities. We just have to do our best to encourage the things that need encouragement at and to discourage the things that should be discouraged.
  8. mooray

    mooray Active Contributor

    That is just one of the reason I hate drugs! Because it can completely turn the person you love into a stranger. But sometimes despite all your intervention, you can do nothing but watch since it takes self-awareness to recover addiction.
  9. SLTE

    SLTE Community Champion

    It depends on the situation, I guess, and how strongly you feel towards the person. The closer you are, probably the more willing you are to help the addict weather the personality changes they're going to suffer. It's not an easy question to answer, and probably the only bit of advice I could offer is show patience, because you're going to need a lot.

    I haven't seen someone's personality changed through drug addiction, but I have seen what brain damage can do. The changes are... not pleasant, usually, and can strain a family to the limit. Again, patience, and probably a lot of love.
  10. singingintherain

    singingintherain Community Champion

    I think it can definitely change an individual's personality. When you think about it, it makes total sense. There is not only the influence of chemicals on the brain, but also just the life experiences they go through during addiction. Whether it is extreme situations involving gangs, drug dealers and the police, or it's stealing, lying and violence.

    All of those things change the way you view the world so it's only natural that your personality would be altered.
  11. Whiskers

    Whiskers Active Contributor

    I hate them too! Drugs have a way of taking one's dignity away from them and making a person a stranger even to himself. I can't help but wonder if an addict even stops to consider the pain he causes loved ones even for a minute. It's terrible.