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Sometimes I get confused


Can time not move?

It has been quite a slow pace week for me. I really do wish I was really busy as time would pass faster and less time for me to be caught it all sorts of drama.

Yes, DRAMA. You read that right.

There's drama at work and outside of work. Work drama is still okay but drama outside of work is just plain tiring and seriously a waste of time.

Bet you're wondering what sort of drama outside of work? Well the biggest sort of drama I'm having is relationship. I've been in and out of a few (I'm not boasting about it) and some how each of it always have its own set of dramas.

Not sure if you've notice but I rarely or hardly write about my relationship here in my blog these days compared to last time as I feel I don't need the whole world to know what's going on nor share with the whole world the inside scoop about my relationship. Its something very private to me and unlike others, who can go all bubu baba on their Instagram and other platforms, I'm not that sort.

However something hit me last night and I thought to myself, this is the place I've written all my thoughts and feelings from day one. Why should I stop? Is it because I wanted to avoid any issue or negative responses? I've started writing here way before I've met anyone in my life. Why should I change that part of my life now? Do I sound selfish? Perhaps I am.

Anyway back to me earlier story, I've had people asking me, why I don't have pictures of us on Instagram and I've had some actually thinking I was single cause they don't see any updates of us on my social sites. I guess its all a matter of preference. I chose not to do so and I will stick with my own feelings and way of doing things.

Does uploading on social sites proof how much love or affection you have for that someone? Does social sites determine ones relationship? If the answer is yes, then I'm still kind of old school. Sometimes I cannot brain, what's the motive of sharing? Can someone enlighten me a little?

Back to my relationship drama, I'm not sure how many episodes we've been through since day 1 till now. I always believe that a perfect relationship will always have conflicts from time to time as its part and parcel of life. But there are times when its just too much to handle and it will eventually reach a time when you just don't give a freaking damn. I'm actually almost there but somehow I know it takes two hands to clap thus I'm not there yet. Now you must be wondering is it that serious? Well depends on how you look at it as well. For me I sees it as it is.

I guess its not about the conflict but its more of the effort to patch things up which is just tiring and having to face the same old issue over again. I don't know who's to blame or not to blame and every person has its own side to the story.

These days I'm just more of a person who just goes with whatever there is. I've learned to let go on certain things long ago. My friend tells me I'm just lacking the important 'me' time which I crave on a daily basis. It can be as simple as being on my bed watching my favourite video till I sleep or having a cup of coffee on a weekend reading my favourite magazine, going on trips with my best friends, enjoying an evening without being judge and etc. There's just too much of 'me' time types which cannot be put in words.

Anyway what I've learned from my past is just to go with the flow. Pushing or forcing yourself through would not work thus its better to just follow where the waves takes you.

Have a great weekend folks! Hope it stops raining though. I've got a dance to fill tonight.