Essence. I like that word. It has a deep meaning without an easy explanation as to what it is. So, just this once, I have broken my blog-etiquette, unwritten rule, to not add a dictionary definition of any word, and tell you that according to, essence is, “the basic, real, and invariable nature of a thing or its significant individual feature or features”. – Told you it was complicated.

So, now let’s try to simplify it, and make it apply to who we are. Essence to me means, core values and experiences. The essence of who I am comes from my belief that people deserve love and happiness, but it also comes from my experience that not everyone will find that in this lifetime. It involves, me believing that people are good, but not seeing this through my own eyes very often. Ok, so maybe me trying to simplify the meaning of essence has become complicated again because, well…I’m complicated. Sigh.

I wish I could wake up every day with the loving essence of me shining through any darkness my eyes invariably see. I wish I could laugh in the face of adversity, and always know that lessons come from hardship. But when I am in my monotonous depression mode, darkness and adversity team up and close-line me into the ropes, just like in a tag-team event in the WWE. Love and laughter seem to be sitting up in the nose-bleeds when I am down for the count – Out of sight, and definitely out of reach.

I’m praying and hoping that the happy essence of me returns soon. I promise I am trying. Positive self-talk, meditation, rest, eating healthier, going to meetings, and even drawing have been happening almost daily. But some things take more time than you’d like them to.

How would you describe your essence? I would love to hear your answers!