Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Blurry baby days and daily ponderings

Are the teeth coming in hurting him and disrupting sleep?
Does he need to drop a nap?
Is it separation anxiety?
Is he bored? Does he need different toys? More baby friends?
Does he need to eat more solids? But food before 1 is just for fun, right?
Will solids help him sleep through the night?
Does he enjoy the farmers market and other outings?

These and other questions like them roll through my head throughout my days lately. They sound so lame but this sweet little man can't fully tell me how he feels or what he needs. And so I wonder.. Is he ok? Are we meeting his needs? Am I  doing this right? I couldn't have anticipated these questions would consume much of my day or that I would "worry" about things like this. Turns out what I  thought I  knew about being a parent was actually nothing. There are so many things I thought I would or wouldn't do as a parent but you really have NO idea until you're in it. Parenthood has already humbled me in reminding me how little I  know about things. It's all a learn as you go  (parenthood, life, each season).

I am guessing I will look back and all these new mom questions/worries/anxieties will be long forgotten. But I  don't want to fully forget... so I  am writing them. One day I will be long past this season and problems of school struggles, friend drama
and future girlfriends will plague me. But today, these are the things that often feel "big".

So often once a season is over I look back and it's all a bit blurry.
Already (and I thought for sure I wouldn't do this) the newborn season is a blur.
How did we survive? How did we figure out those first hours/days/weeks?
Did he really just sleep all the time?
Was he really that tiny? Did he really fit in that?
Did I really worry about that?

What do you remember about the early days of baby life?
Are questions like these a vague memory of mom life past?

Sometimes you are a mystery, sweet Rainier. But you're also a joy, you bring new to our life daily and we love watching you grow in personality and life.