Monday, September 3, 2018

Tapestry of Tears, Part 14

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 was spared the wrath of Lahnius when the Anti-Ganker's plans to destroy our Agent were interrupted by a wardec from Failed Diplomacy corporation. Lahnius tried to prove to Failed Diplomacy that he wasn't a New Order spy. Finally, he came up with the idea of exposing the secrets he'd learned while a member of the mighty CODE. alliance.

For months, it seemed as though Lahnius was a lonely suck-up, always trying to get Alt 00's attention. Now he revealed that it was just a clever ruse the whole time.

Lahnius knew that people would be skeptical of his claims, but so what? He and his wife knew the truth, and that was all that mattered.

For the first time, Lahnius revealed that he'd greatly impressed the Saviour of Highsec in a previously undisclosed meeting. We know the meeting happened because his wife was a witness to it.

Lahnius unloaded more secrets in Nakugard local chat: Though Lahnius had admittedly been foolish to tell Alt 00 the locations of his two refineries, there were ten more that nobody knew about. And their locations would never be discovered--they were too well hidden.

The Anti-Ganker felt liberated now that he no longer had to pretend to be an idiot. Once the pesky war with Failed Diplomacy was taken care of, he'd put a plan into motion that would destroy the New Order once and for all.

Of course, CODE. had a temporary reprieve, because Lahnius' priority was protecting his two non-hidden refineries. He didn't want to see them destroyed, even though he had plenty more.

Satisfied that he'd answered all questions, Lahnius concluded his speech to Nakugard local and prepared to go AFK.

...Then again, maybe Lahnius' wife would have to wait while he defended himself from criticism in chat. He had an image to protect.

Members of Failed Diplomacy had wardecced Lahnius on the mistaken assumption that he was working for CODE. Having witnessed his anti-Code speech, they were unsure of what to think--except that Lahnius was nuts.

Lahnius hoped that his speeches would prove his anti-Code credentials, and that Failed Diplomacy would retract the wardec. Judging by friedchicken's reaction, Lahnius didn't do himself any favors.

Earlier, Lahnius had accused Agent Trump The King of having been someone he met while playing a game called "Shattered Galaxy". Out of nowhere, Lahnius resurrected the claim and reassigned it to Agent Lament von Gankenheim.

Unfortunately, Lahnius could barely get a word in edgewise. That motor-mouth Alt 00 wouldn't shut up about herself!

Lahnius bristled when Alt 00 brought up the now-infamous blow-up he'd had with Trump The King. Once again, Lahnius' reputation was under attack in Nakugard local chat. The Anti-Ganker couldn't log off without answering the challenge.

To be continued...


  1. Where is LvG? We need him back!

    1. Hell yeah! LvG would know how to purge the shitters outa highsec, and NoL!

  2. Jeezus! The more that shitter talks, the more I want to shoot him in the face.

    IRL of course! XD

    Lol! Hear me out!!
    Do we really want him making more copies of himself? Would it not be better for the human race, in the long run, if he didn't pass on whatever defect makes him act like this? He reminds me of dennis rader. He thinks he's smart, but he's really just a vile little person suffering from severe dunning-kruger.

    Lol I'm just kidding! You silly shitters should never kill someone IRL just because they are retarded. But I still wish they wouldn't breed.

    But let's face it, anyone who acts like that idiot probably isn't getting laid anyway. Forget married.

    Holy shit though, what if he really IS married. Can you imagine the manatee that would marry some shitter like that? Bleh, I just made myself shiver.

    I know we all got a few lols from this idiot, but the game and the community would be healthier, and less icky, if we didn't encourage people like lahnius (rhymes with anus?) to play EVE. Much less invite him into an alliance like CODE.!

    What's the point of trying to lift the unclean from their own filth if that's where they want to be? Our entire interaction with highsec cowards should be limited to killing it and encouraging it to either leave highsec and stop acting like a carebear, or finding a game better suited to carebearism. There's no reason to attempt any form of "reformation" on the cowards, just kill them until they quit.

    Shitters can cry all day about falling subscription numbers and a dying game, but that doesn't change the fact that EVE was never intended for them, AND that real EVE players don't want them here anyway.

  3. "Unfortunately, Lahnius could barely get a word in edgewise. That motor-mouth Alt 00 wouldn't shut up about herself!"

    I loled!

  4. I'd just like to break RP for a moment to say that James 315, CODE., and all New Order enforcers are the only ones keeping RP alive in EVE at this point. Keep on putting the RP in MMORPG, fellas.

    With Love.

    1. Roleplay is pretend. If you actually believe something, it is not roleplay. We actually believe James 315 is the savior of high sec and lord of the miners. James is high king of both Halaimo and Kamio! It's like playing Monopoly and someone is declared lord of Boardwalk and Park Place. If they already have hotels, it isn't roleplay.

  5. This guy might be the craziest puppetmaster in minerbumping history. Even Ledrian wasn't nearly this unhinged!

  6. This dude has some major delusional issues. You could run a week long psychology conference with just him as the subject.... and still need to schedule another!

  7. Its actually painful to read that. I keep hoping it ends.... but it does not. Just log off Lahnius... just log off already... make it stop!!!

    1. Hey its P.H.a.g.'s #1 H.O.M.O.!

      You don't belong in EVE, kip wanker. Your kind don't deserve to play a pvp game. All you ever do is whine and cry and make threats that you can't back. Why the fuk are you not shardani'd yet?

      IRL of course.

      Once an ag PHag, always a kip wanker.


    2. Calm down miner

  8. oh Hai!! Classy as normal I see. I’ve not been doing much with AG recently. Been branching out some with another toon. Though I am flattered that you still remember little old me. Maybe we’ll play together again. Miss ya!

    Kip. Your #1 PHag.

