Tip of the Iceberg: Judging From Afar


There's a statistic floating about somewhere that says 90% of an iceberg is underwater. Unseen by passersby yet blaringly obvious to the observant sailor. The average iceberg can live over 10,000 years. Can you imagine that? Living 10,000 years and no one ever really seeing who you were? You're all like, "Here I am! Floating in the ocean! How do you not see ALL of me?!" 

So, maybe it's unrealistic to compare ourselves to icebergs buuuut, I think you're catching my drift (no pun intended). The truth is: 


What if I told you that since quitting my job in June I have made $700? Would you believe me? Or would you think, 'but, she just went to Europe and New York City and she's happy - there's no way she's struggling with money'. Perhaps something to that effect would cross your mind. 

I don't share with you my financials to make you sorry for me. No. I'm proud of my $700! Do I wish there was another zero, or two zeroes, on the end? Of course! Did I expect to make more? You bet! But, there aren't extra digits and that's all that I've made for six months of working 40+ hours a week.

I'll put into perspective; Let's take a look at a popular celebrity. Khloe Kardashian, as an example. She's beautiful, has a new book out, jets around the world, has TV shows... She doesn't have a care in the world, right? No. We don't know her, we don't know her real life (although, I'm certain we'd be amazing friends!). We only see what people want us to see. And sometimes, we only see what WE want to see... 

Let's talk church. You see a small group leader, a volunteer, a women's ministry pastor, or the Pastor's wife and we think, "Look at them! They're serving, smiling, happy, pretty..." What you don't see are the tears shed because someone is lonely night after night, the argument in the car on the way to service, the financial issues that are straining their marriage, or the laundry list of doctor's they've seen in the past week. 

@@Social media is one of the greatest tools that the enemy uses in deceiving sisterhood and community.@@ We only show people what we want them to see. And by viewing scrolling feeds of images we fill our hearts and heads with the false notion that we know someone, intimately. On the other hand, it also allows us to 'secretly' judge others.

We silently sit there, scrolling, double tapping, commenting.... judging. Based on what? A 4x4 image? A split second in time? The 1 in 37 selfies that she was proud of? The hours in the gym it took to be proud enough to even have that photo taken? 

You see a 4x4 image but what you don't see is the story behind it. The years of abuse suffered and her story of surviving , the marriages that have lost hope, the lies she hears from the evil one, the belittling boss, the broken heart, the hours of work, the passion projects, the heart and soul being poured out... 

So, next time we want to make a judgement, let's all agree to go TO our sister and say, "Hey Girl, how are you doing? Tell me what's really going on in your life." 


  1. Is there someone in your life you may have judged unfairly? Journal about that experience and ask God to reveal truths to you that you may not have seen before.

  2. How can you speak value and worth into someone's life today?

  3. What role can or do you play in building up other women in your life?