Friday, November 18, 2016

Fly on the Wall: I Said Balls?


Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

College Boy (calling to me as he walks up the stairs): Do you want a swastika?

My heart stops cold. What the hell? How could he? Has he been radicalized by all the hate he sees around us these days? No, he's thoughtful and level headed, it can't be.

College boy comes up the stairs and says it again: Do you want a swastika?

In his hand he's holding what must have fallen off of one of the shampoo bottle I'd put into the downstairs bathroom, a Suave sticker.

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

I did not grow up in the Midwest and I think because of that I'm especially fearful of tornadoes, they're new to me. But my kids grew up with the warnings. Didn't mean anything to them. They'd grab a few things and head down to the basement where we've got a TV, pool table, fridge, bedroom and full bath.

I think it's better to have the fear than to be complacent. Like when College Boy called me on the phone last week.

College Boy: Hi, Ma. Had a minute and thought I'd call you.
Me: I can barely hear you.
College Boy: Yeah, I'm standing outside. It's really windy.
Me: What is that I hear? Wait. Are those tornado sirens?
College Boy: Yeah, they've been going off for a few minutes now.
Me: Get off this phone. Get inside. Somewhere safe. Now.
College Boy: Jeez, I don't call and you get mad. I call and you get mad. No pleasing you.

He may have said something else, I'm not sure, I'd hung up.

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

I was on my cell phone responding to a comment on my Baking In A Tornado Facebook page.

You know how, when you write a word, your cell tries to figure out what you might want to say and gives you 3 word or multi-word suggestions to choose from based on what you've texted in the past?

Well, I wrote the word "I". My three suggestions from my cell? On the right, "think", on the left "want", and in the center "said balls."


Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

Speaking of balls, I had developed this new recipe for Biscoff Apple Bourbon Balls. I had to ask College Boy if he wanted to one.

Me: Do you want one of my balls?
College Boy: No thanks.
Me: Are you sure?
College Boy: Yeah, I'm good.
Me: But I have the best balls.
College Boy: I'll pass.
Me: They're "uge".
College Boy: Stop.
Me: No one has better balls than me.
College Boy: {{silence}}.
Me: Just ask Trump.
College Boy: {{groan}}.
Me: We can discuss it in the next debate.

{{ . . . and College Boy exits the room . . . }}

{{ ba dum tss }}. I'll be here all week, folks.

Biscoff Apple Bourbon Balls, a take off on a long time favorite cookie. No bake, quick and easy to make, so much flavor | Recipe developed by | #recipe #holiday #cookies
Biscoff Apple Bourbon Balls
(Thank you Jenniy, for being my muse on this one)

I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business working on my laptop when I turned my head and looked out the front door. I was surprised to see a truck sitting right in front of my house. It was running, there was a guy in it and he was eating. Strange. 

Twenty minutes later he's still there.

Hubs walks by, sees me looking out the door and realizes the guy is just sitting there.

Hubs: That's weird. How long has that guy been sitting there?
Me: I noticed him about 20 minutes ago.
Hubs: Why is he sitting in front of our house? Is he casing the joint?

Ten minutes later he's still there. College Boy walks by, looks out and the guy is cleaning his glasses, then opens a notebook and starts writing.

College Boy: Stake-out. Let me know if you see him pee in a jar.

Fly on the Wall, is this guy spying on me? | | #funny #humor

OK, who is so desperate to see what new recipes I'm making that they hired this guy to spy on me?   

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

I wrote a post last month about the new knife set I got when Hubs' company mistakenly thought he was retiring. 

Me: That knife set may have been free, but the amount I'm spending on bandaids sure is getting up there.
Hubs: Be careful, they're new and very sharp. But you've been saying you don't have knives that will cut through meat, now you do.
Me: Yeah, the thing is, the meat I had in mind wasn't me.

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

Hubs came downstairs one morning to find me standing by the sliding door shuddering, with a stricken look on my face.

Took a while to calm me down, but I think I'm still shuddering.

The night before as I was heading up to bed, I'd shut all the lights off but remembered I hadn't put the stick down to block the door. I couldn't see, but felt for the stick and as I was putting it down remember thinking "I wonder why there's a bump on the end of the stick". I went to bed.

The next morning I woke up and went to open the slider. I raised the stick, leaned it along the side and started to shudder. Did I touch that? Was it still alive then?

I've got the heebie-jeebies now just looking at the picture.

Spoiler Alert, Jules: I know you can't deal with spiders so scroll quickly past this picture:

Fly on the Wall: I Said Balls? |

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

I often make my quick breads 2 loaves at a time. Sometimes they disappear almost as quickly as I bake them and sometimes I end up freezing one loaf. When I freeze one, I always date them so I know when they were baked.

I went to the freezer the other day to take out a loaf of Cinnamon Cranraisin Pumpkin Bread I knew was there. Checking the date to be sure it hadn't been in there too long, I found that I'd labeled it 12-22-16. Ummm, good job, Karen. Pretty sure I didn't bake it a month from now.

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

We had a bad plumbing month this month. The toilet on the main floor wouldn't stop running and Hubs had to replace some parts.

Then one of the faucets in the upstairs kids' bathroom wouldn't shut off. We had to call a plumber for this one (and were furious because we'd just had the faucet put in a few months ago).

Next, the basement bathroom flush handle broke and had to be replaced. I was almost afraid to tell Hubs.

Hubs: I'm just going to blow up all of our bathrooms.
Me: That could get ugly.
Hubs: I don't care.
Me: Are you going to build an outhouse in the backyard? Are we going to go all Alaska: The Last Frontier?
Hubs: No way. Just go to the neighbors.
Me: And how will that work? "Hello, we blew up our bathrooms, can we use yours? May as well give us a key, sometimes we go in the middle of the night"?
Hubs: Yeah, they may not go for that.
Me: So you're thinking maybe you better not blow up the bathrooms?
Hubs: No, I'm thinking you better start baking, the neighbors are gonna need bribes.

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

Not as many funny conversations going on this month. Well, that's not true, more like not as many funny conversations being reported this month. You see, my baby will be home in THREE days and I am all consumed by the countdown. I've been counting since he left in August (August 13th, to be exact). He's been gone a long time (96 days as of today, to be exact) and I've been counting down the days until I had him back in my home. And now we're three days out. I just might be really really excited.


Baking In A Tornado signature | | #MyGraphics

Biscoff Apple Bourbon Balls
Printable Recipe
1 package (8.8 oz) Biscoff cookies
2/3 cup pecans
1/4 cup Nutella
1 1/4 cup powdered sugar, divided
2 TBSP baking cocoa, divided
2 TBSP light corn syrup
1/3 cup Jim Beam Apple

*Place cookies and pecans in a food processor until finely crushed.
*Remove to a bowl and mix in Nutella, 3/4 cup powdered sugar, 1 TBSP baking cocoa, corn syrup and Jim Beam Apple.
*Roll into about 24 balls, about 3/4 inch in diameter each.
*Mix together the remaining 1/2 cup powdered sugar and 1 TBSP baking cocoa. Roll the balls in this mixture. Store in an airtight container in the fridge.


  1. OMG that spider---now I'm totally creeped out!! Love the convo about the balls between you and your son. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, Karen!

    1. Thanks Marcia, hope you and your family have a very happy Thanksgiving too.

  2. College Boy is one awesome son! Who WAS in that truck anyway? :)

    1. I still have no idea who was in that truck but I do know that College Boy is pretty damn awesome.

  3. You didn't tell me to scroll past that picture. Now it's there. Forever.
    And: Rats! You spotted my P.I. guy. Let that be a lesson. Don't hire PIs at the local burger joint.

    1. You sent that PI guy? Well, maybe that picture is just karma then!

  4. So these look amazing. And your stories have me giggling. What happened to the stake-out dude? Any clue?

    Also, already clicked open a tab w. your bread from the future. ;)

    1. You will LOVE my bread from the future.

      And no, no idea about that stake out dude. He hasn't been back though.

  5. Ha ha - loved the Suave conversation! It was a great opener. Ahh - I hate tornado warnings! My dad and other adults would be outside looking at the weather, and I'd be holed up in the basement. Maybe it's a guy thing?! Enjoy your time with your entire family! Happy Thanksgiving!

    1. Yes, a guy thing, good explanation. Now that I think of it, my dad used to sit on the porch and watch TV in lightning storms.

  6. Wooh, only 3 days left. I see a "uge" hug in his not too distant future. I'm pretty sure if you'd touched that spider the night before and it was still alive, it would have been long gone by the time you woke up. Is touching a dead spider a better alternative though??

    1. No, there's just no good alternative in this situation. And I still shudder just thinking about it.

  7. Oh DARN., I have all these apples in the house, but no Jim Bean apple liquor. You are a strange person. Alana

    1. Oh, I have plenty of apple recipes for you. But you really need to get that Jim Beam Apple and try this one too.

  8. A what sticker?? I think I would have passed out. LOL oh gosh
    I want, no NEED one of your balls. ROTFL dang they sound fantastic

    1. I was really distressed, although when I saw it was a suave shampoo sticker I have to admit that I laughed.
      And yes, you NEED these balls!

  9. You had me at Biscoff but adding in bourbon is even better. And the balls conversation was hilarious!

    1. Glad you liked the recipe, thank you for the inspiration.

  10. This post had me laughing and that had my daughters asking what the hell was with me and what was I laughing about.

  11. Those are some lookin' balls. By now you are enjoying time with your son. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and take time to RELAX.

    1. Yes, everyone's home. Hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving too.

