thrisis crisis


So I haven’t written anything for a while. Why is that? Well, that’s a good question. I started this blog thinking that I would put the effort in to write well thought out and researched articles about various academicey topics on a regular basis… but then most of the time when I actually FEEL like writing and no deadline is involved, it ends up being something of a more personal persuasion. And then I feel like writing on the Internet about my thoughts and feelings and life is really quite trite. So then I don’t write at all. What a vicious, self-defeating little cycle. Who do I imagine is judging me and caring that I decided to write a blog post about my day, or about struggles that I am facing as of late rather than something that is more like a mini-paper that I would have written for school?

So what compelled me to write something today? Honestly, this week is kind of bullshit: I am quasi-dating someone who lives far away, and his Internet is effed this week, so there will be no skyping until further notice; Bell decided that ‘unlimited texts’ actually meant something completely different, and I have an astronomical cell phone bill coming next month; I am so broke that I could scream; and I am having an early 30s crisis about my life and where I am going, and my career, and living situation and blah blah blah blah; also, the boxing gym that I recently joined is actually run by a crazy person, and so I sunk 300 dollars into a shitty gym rather than a pretty good training facility. Despite this, if nothing else, posting something here will make me feel like I have been even the tiniest bit productive this week, despite the feeling that I am otherwise drowning and failing at everything. Ok. So I know that I am being dramatic here, and everything will probably be fine, and I’m actually alright, but everyone is entitled to a mini-meltdown every now and then, no?

Anyways… the new plan is to write even if I feel like it’s something boring and even if I feel that it’s too personal and it’s a narcissistic snoozefest. Because whatever writing is better than no writing, and hopefully with enough persistence, the whatever writing will slowly edge its way towards writing about something more thoughtful and interesting that pertains to people who are not only myself. For now, navel-gazing snoozefest it is!