TIFU by buying my mom an Amazon device.

tifu Original
sielemm 43317 S x 5 G x 4 P x 3 2019-10-06 23:14:33

I want to start by giving some background here. I basically live, eat, sleep and breath Amazon. I need something, straight to Amazon. I use kindle and audible daily. Want to stream music, Amazon music. Want a new movie, prime video. Run out of something randomly, "Hey Alexa......." Laundry soap, toothpaste, shampoo, dog food, fish food, subscribe & save biotch. Amazon has the answers to all of life's problems. So when looking for a place to store photos, I see "prime members have free unlimited photo storage with Amazon photos". Naturally, my next move is to take full advantage of this being a prime member. Automatically upload photos from my phone? Even better.

Rewind to September 25th, my mom's birthday. I thought about her gift for a while, but when I remembered she didn't have a smart TV, the answer was easy. I hop on Amazon shopping and use my Amazon credit card to purchase one FireTV stick. She was so happy she could watch Netflix on her TV now. Yay, success! Or so I thought.

Yesterday I get an email from Amazon with the subject line "welcome to the Fire TV family" and thought oh good, she's finally setting it up, she's gonna love it! Not even in the smallest darkest corner of my mind did I imagine that it would sign in to my Amazon account without even asking for a password. Surely she'd have to use her own account.

Fast forward to today at a family bbq, the tv was turned on to the fire stick home page and people were playing with it, using different apps, etc. Eventually it's forgotten about and left to turn on its screensaver. Sitting in my mother's kitchen, I glance behind me towards the tv to see a giant lit up 65" photo of my vagina.

I spit out my drink and everyone looks at me. I happen to be sitting in a position where the tv is behind me so every single person in my family got a glorious view of me, bright red, choking, scrambling to find the god damn remote with a horribly x rated backdrop. I'm not a person to just take one picture like that and call it good. I took probably 40 pictures that night for my SO to include dildos, butt plugs, the like, in all different positions to get the perfect photos that were now being displayed on my parents television for my ENTIRE FAMILY to view. I have tattoos that were visible in the pictures so there's no denying this is me and no way to talk myself out of this one.

Nobody helped me. The remote was nowhere to be found so pulled the device from the tv and took it straight home with me where I'm currently hiding under my blanket in shame and misery. I didn't give anyone a chance to say anything, I just ran away.

The worst part, I asked Alexa how to recover from pain and humiliation aaaaaaand "sorry, I'm not sure about that." Fuck Amazon.

Update: I promised an update but it's not really worthy of its own post. I talked to my mom who assured me that it's not as bad as it seems, nobody really noticed, and it's just like when my cousin replied to the group text with his dirty laundry, no big deal. However, my brother says the opposite and that my mom has threatened death and dismemberment for anyone who dares mention this to me for any reason.

I'm not sure how to prove that this wasn't an Amazon ad, I just wrote it how I wrote it because I thought it was funny. I wish Amazon was paying me for this crap.

I'm just going to laugh about it and see how it blows over. Yes I fucked up, I was a dumbass, that's why I posted it here. Yes, I should have known this could happen. Call me whatever names you want, but yes, sending unsolicited nudes to each other is something me and my SO do. It's fun. I don't intentionally save them, but my photos were set to automatically upload on wifi. It happened.

Thanks to everyone for the awards and sharing your similar stories, they made me laugh. And thanks for checking out my cat!!!!!

TLDR my sexy pics ended up on my mom's tv at a family party.

konqueror321 14817 S 2h25m

Live in the cloud, die in the cloud.

frobit1990 3638 3h15m

When will people learn?

xpercipio 2785 G 4h15m


Awesome_Arsam 2696 G 4h20m


karangoswamikenz 751 4h48m


I was hanging out with the bad homies And then I got aids

frenchiveruti 400 5h44m

I installed a FireTV one day, and my grandma saw my balls.

Saajanji 245 6h11m

AND THEN.. ONE DAY.. A Piano fell on my head. I got 88 concussions, ONE FOR EACH KEY. CONSE QUEN CES

VictorianUndead 106 6h18m

Got back out there, starting making some real crimes, HOME BOIII.... And then I got trampled by a herd of buffalo.


keys_mob_at_crack 49 8h2m

Alright, that's it students, get out in an orderly fashion.

tatertits4u 3 12h27m

You cant rollerskate in a buffalo heard.

Loginsthead 3 6h19m


KassellTheArgonian 23 8h43m


Lyander0012 14 4h25m

Wait what

alan_gonzalez04 31 5h37m
s0ramble 3 6h9m


_blackdog6_ 2 7h9m


cheetostick 28 4h30m


CptNerditude 136 4h26m


WRZESZCZ_1998 3 8h31m

Gasp Gasp


tohrazul82 4 6h0m

They won't

NSA_Chatbot 3 6h11m

Hopefully never. :D

saido_chesto 2 8h1m

They won't.


TBH she should have ordered it as a gift on the Amazon Page, that way it wouldn't just sign into her account automatically.

Shitty-Coriolis 847 4h27m

I honestly wouldn't expect it to automatically sign on.. gift or not. Not without a password anyway. Seems like poor design to me.

BrothelWaffles 375 5h6m

This is the weirdest thing to me. Since when do these come preconfigured with your login info?

SteampunkBorg 441 5h12m

That actually sounds like a lot of additional work on the side of amazon, and honestly, a huge privacy risk in case the parcel gets lost or stolen

BananaStandFlamer 83 5h17m

It’s always been that way. People tend to not read.

It does pose that risk but it’s part of making that experience better for the user. For example I ordered a new kindle and everything was set up and I could instantly download my books. It is convenient.

And it’s also listed right there. People gotta read

fighterpilot248 181 5h47m

Ah yes, because it takes so long to sign in and set up the device when you first get it. Sure it’s “convenient” but you’re saving what, 10-15 minutes max when you turn it on for the first time? Is that really worth risking your privacy over?

bro_before_ho 151 5h51m

You're using amazon you have no privacy

fighterpilot248 83 6h1m

I mean fair enough but there’s a difference between a random company potentially having access to nude photos vs having family see a close up shot of your vagina on a 65 inch TV.

wobblysauce 6 12h34m

Well don’t upload the pictures of this 65” forest and call it a day.

Cronyx 9 13h44m

This sentiment is part of the problem and why we need stronger security and privacy regulations.

AJohnsonOrange 12 10h23m

People gotta read

After working in hospitals, universities, corporate, and website building I can tell you that people specifically don't read.

Incidentally Have you heard of the "F" pattern on websites? It tells you how much people read. They'll read most of the first paragraph. Half of the next. Then steadily decrease and skip to the next headline. Problem is we're now in a period of time where we can't tell if people read this way or are prompted to read this way:


Either way, now people are looking for short snappy callouts or headers and not reading the rest.

KickinAssHaulinGrass 9 11h48m

Blogs and online articles are stuffed with filler so they can fit more ads in between paragraphs. There's probably 2 important sentences in a paragraph and the rest is trash

qwstrfg 4 12h23m

I find that so annoying with American online news articles. They have relevant info in the first like 3 paragraphs, and then just go on and on and on and on. Adding anything even slightly related, repeating the same things again and again, talking about every person's opinion on this subject even if they are barely even related to the topic.

It's so annoying, you start reading it because it's a good article and interesting topic. And then sooner or later you just have to give up, even if you intended to read it all.

I mostly read German online news and they are so much better at this. I actually finish like 90% of their articles because they say what's important and then just wrap it up.

melo8i8 8 13h15m

So they're sending me a product logged in to their full service and store which has my creditcard linked to it.

Great..just great. Packages never get stolen or lost.. especially from amazon. Luckily there arent entire compilations consisting of videos with people stealing amazon packages from porches..

In quite a few countries that's not allowed by law. Actually it might be in the whole European Union since the new privacy laws (GDPR)


Thats strange. I ordered my parents a firestick about 2 years ago for Christmas. It didnt come prelogged into anything i set it up for them and everything. Is this a new thing they do or somthing

Geteamwin 15 6h11m

It's an option when you buy it right on the page a little above the add to cart button. It says "Link to my Amazon account to simplify setup" next to a checkbox.

SteampunkBorg 6 8h18m

As an option, it does make sense.

I also realised they could do it like it's done with Internet routers/modems, where they just scan the serial number from the packaging and as soon as the device is online the server sends the proper configuration data.

Megantron1031 5 8h47m

You would think that would be unchecked to start with and you would have to click it to check the box and make it link, not click it to uncheck the box and make sure they don't link.

But I don't know why I would expect any different I mean it is Amazon. The privacy shit is exactly why I don't use it, even when my dad tells me to make a wishlist on there for my Xmas presents, I don't want them to have my fingerprints, blood type, samples of my DNA, handwriting, and voice, a lock of my hair, and all of my preferences and thoughts I've ever had.

MadxCarnage 4 14h1m

As long as your family uses amazon , then they have your info aswell. They gather information on future users aswell so no one can escape.

jtvjan 6 5h51m

I see. Is there still an option to have it not sign in? Because for me, setting it up is the best part of getting a new gadget.

sutkus85 8 5h57m

Of course, just choose the gift option.

Geteamwin 8 6h11m

Or just uncheck the box right above the add to cart button

chumpchange72 5 6h56m

On mobile that box is right above several other boxes to add additional items like cables. It's easy to see how you could miss it and leave it opted in.

Gswizzle67 4 6h55m

George Michael? Is that you?

qwstrfg 4 12h8m

It should just still require the password? Just set it up and give you the "input password/change account" screen on startup. That's 10 more seconds at most, for so much more privacy.

ThomasRedstone 3 9h46m

No additional work, it'll be done based on the serial number, so when it connects to Amazon it knows that the device is authenticated, probably. I doubt they've got employees manually logging them in!

Satioelf 5 7h7m

Yeah, I would not have expected a product I ordered to come already set up with my login info. Sure I know everything is recorded, blah blah blah, but that feels like a huge privacy and security risk. Especially if the package gets lost or stolen. Suddenly someone else could have access to a ton of personal information at no fault of ones own.

_3cock_ 3 5h49m

Bought a kindle e reader years ago and it did just this

thegamereli 2 5h46m

For a few years now. I bought one of their tablets, I think 2017 model, and it came ready to go and had my account one click away for login, no password needed.

FarminFrance 2 6h41m

Once you sell your soul to Amazon, there's no questioning what Amazon does with it

hinterlufer 2 7h26m

Mine did when I got one about 2-3 years ago. Thought it's kinda weird though because if it decided to get "lost" in mail who knows where it might end up.

replichaun 4 4h28m

Maybe in her next life she’ll handle it better.

Cronyx 3 13h43m

Fuck that. I work in IT, i have a Security+ cert, I've worked for a government contractor dealing with Secret access. This is Amazon's fault, and a failure of every imaginable interpretation of infosec. Under no circumstances should a device you receive in the mail be pre-configured with any privileged access credentials. What if it was delivered to the wrong address, or someone snatched it off the porch? She should sue Amazon for damages.

NebXan 258 4h33m

This is exactly why all my sexy pics are only stored on a local hard drive and encrypted with 256-bit AES.

Trust no one. Especially not Amazon.

Occams_Razor42 23 10h48m

Definitely, VeraCrypt ftw; there’s definitely some stuff I don’t want friends and family to see

alvenestthol 5 12h4m

Where did you put the key tho

NebXan 5 17h39m

It's stored on the meaty hard drive in my skull.

totalysharky 3 11h15m

Stuff like that story make me glad Google Photo gives you the choice to share all photos with a selected partner or share whole albums with individuals you select. That way any nudes I take no one has any chance of seeing, other than the person they are intended for. Also on Chromecast you need to select an album for it to be displayed, it won't display all photos.

barry_allan 177 3h49m

laughs in r/DataHoarder

nav13eh 100 5h11m

I am the cloud.

tonysanv 6 6h5m

Not yet.

NSA_Chatbot 4 6h11m


[deleted] 14 8h0m


[deleted] 37 5h51m


KapteeniJ 10 6h16m

Watching those photos later would be troublesome

LeftHandLuke01 2 6h11m

Tape is forever! ~ Sonny Shine

salad_cube007 2 7h33m

Ahh yes as a great man once said , "Those who liveth by the cloud, shall die by the cloud"

KCinMoon 10981 8m

You win. Yeah, that's a first-tier eff up.

IOnlyNut2ToddlerVore 2623 1h13m

Reminds me of the couple I saw on Reddit years ago that bought all their friends and family iPads only to find out iCloud put all their sextapes on every device.

Except this is worse bc a) there were probably kids around and b) OP was actually present when all of the people saw it, rather than it being found while someone was alone on their new iPad.

SugarSnatch1 1025 1h19m

That was actually a movie called 'sex tape' with Cameron Diaz and that one guy.. Jason something I think..

glorypron 300 2h11m

Jason Segel

SugarSnatch1 128 2h13m

Ding ding ding! Thanks I couldn't remember his name for shite

treborselbor 39 4h5m

Haha! As I read that, I figured I read the same reddit post !

hardcoredore 39 4h47m

Yeah... That's a Hollywood movie 😁

ChriSaito 5 5h19m

Saw that and smoked weed just before. Somehow the first half was hilarious and as the high wore off, it got significantly less funny. Even saw it in theaters. I couldn't tell you anything about the first half for obvious reasons. The second half was too unmemorable.

Thank you for reason my random movie review.

gngstrMNKY 141 4h40m

Apple doesn't pre-register devices like Amazon does, so the only way that could have happened is if the gift giver manually registered every device under the same iCloud account. Even if you enable family share, that just creates a shared album between everybody. Doubting that story.

ldhudsonjr 115 6h37m

I mean I doubted it from "bought all their friends and family iPads".

AsykoSkwrl 15 7h13m

The only way this is true, is if they royally fucked up, and signed into the same iCloud account on all the devices. But they should have noticed the weird text messages happening before the photos.

Philymaniz 3 13h51m

This is actually a pretty common fuckup. I’ve seen it quite a few times over the years.

cantunderstandlol 7 7h41m

It's from a movie called "Sex Tape"

bee_ghoul 2 7h51m

Yeah they would have needed the apple id and password. I call bs

Western_Preston 6 11h46m

Thats the film Sex Tape you absolute shit chatter

Cinderstrom 3 8h51m

Literally not possible with Apple products. You may be thinking of another manufacturer but Apple products are all configured during setup by the user.

Tasty_Toast_Son 280 3h19m

Ehh, HAS to be an Amazon advertizement with how much they glorify it and name the exact proper item of everything involved.

Usemeabuseme10 400 3h32m

Or we live in a world that consumes and identifies with products.

Magnesus 98 4h12m

Which is what /r/hailcorporate is all about.

Authentic_Creeper 298 3h33m

They also end it with "fuck amazon" which even in the joking tone is much farther than an ad would go. Everyone seems so paranoid about everything being an ad but would a giant company like amazon 1. need covert advertising like this and 2. post an ad to /r/tifu and not one of the more common subs like /r/pics

little_maggots 217 3h58m

Plus there's the drawing massive attention to a huge downside of using their products...

LangerHanSolo 37 4h39m

Maybe this is Amazon's version of a PSA trying to let people know - hey, don't do this.

illgetbacktoyoulater 2 5h44m

Sex sells.

fox_eyed_man 28 7h0m

Not only the “fuck Amazon” bit, but the mention of dildos and butt plugs, the idea that buying a FireTV stick for someone else can cause your account to be compromised, and the potentiality that any present underage family members have now seen their adult relative filling holes like a goddamn Twinkie factory.

SpaceJackRabbit 49 4h16m

Can't explain much, but I know enough on this matter to assure you this is NOT an Amazon product placement.

Red_Inferno 27 4h57m

Amazon, sharing your most intimate moments with those you love.

a1b1no 6 4h24m

God tier. Without even trying!

My sincere condolences to you, OP!

An_Old_IT_Guy 3032 59m

I wish I could say this will quickly be forgotten, but you're going to be living this down at literally every family gettogether until you die. You'll be 90 with an oxygen tank and still living this down.

embracing_insanity 1127 1h40m

Yup. Even if the older folks were to get Alzheimer's - THIS will be one of those things they'll never forget; and then talk about every time they see you.

ConnorMcJeezus 867 S 5h6m

Who are you

Mom, it’s Jessica


Buttplug tv girl


Tzipity 220 5h34m

I know you were playing the Alzheimer's scenario here but also, this just proves why even if OP continues to hunker down in shame for years, if not decades, sooner or later she will inevitably have to show up for a funeral something and the whispers that will happen.

Middle of granny's funeral service: "Psst, who's that in the row behind us? She's sitting near us. Is she family?" "Who? Oh, her. Don't you remember? That's Big screen butt plug Becky."

The preacher/priest/rabbi/imam/whoever is in discussing how deeply granny will be missed but at that moment a loud whisper passes through the entire crowd and one by one everyone turns to find that indeed, butt plug Becky is here to honor grandma.

Damn OP, I'm so sorry. I suppose you could go bold and just jump back into family life like nothing ever happened. Or legit, you finally show up for that funeral or wedding and all eyes will be on you.

shut_up_brett 61 6h50m

Just pull a George Costanza and walk in Monday like nothing ever happened.

Angelbabysdaddy 29 12h20m

That's what I would do. Like no one else has these sort of pics or enjoys sex with their SO. Own that shit and move on.

co-stan-za 4 14h12m

Good advice!

Saeckel_ 4 8h22m

You're horrible

stickfish8 3 14h46m

Or just say fuck it, own that shit and tell the parents of those underage kids you're sorry for your fuck-up. It'll be as awkward as you make it. If they notice you don't really care they saw those pictures it's way more likely to be forgotten. (Not completely of course, but not brought up every time possible.)

Yankee9204 248 3h57m

Dude, she's already dead. Stop kicking.

MexieSMG 51 5h24m

This is reddit. Lives lost make our day.

nilanshu96 6 5h4m

PTSD material

eibmozneimad 5 10h25m

This is the type of thing that the older folks, especially when suffering from Alzheimer's, will nonchalantly associate with the wrong person because it's a fond memory.

"Thanks for the laugh sielemm. You're so sweet, but it wasn't very smart to show those pictures to everyone."

"Gran-gran, it's embracing_insanity, not sielemm. You haven't seen her in 30 years."

"I know dear. You really need to work on the lighting though.

MetalIzanagi 329 3h22m

"Hey auntie remember that time we all saw your cooch in 4K?"

heyugl 92 4h37m

she is beyond salvation, she should just go naked to the next family gathering.-

Gamergonemild 8 5h55m

insert Alabama meme here

i_incest 5 7h42m

Sweet Home Alabama.

Gamergonemild 5 8h29m

Username checks out

gHHqdm5a4UySnUFM 88 4h10m

The only way to get people to forget this is for them to experience the same fuckup. Buy everyone a TV dongle and some cloud photo storage this Christmas.

fork-and-spoon 46 5h27m

And swap around the fire sticks, so everyone sees each others pictures.

PeelerNo44 5 9h2m

A movie about someone who has to hunt down their family members in private places one by one to remove their clothes and take artistic pictures of their nakedness.


DuckyGoneLucky 39 3h19m

Family dinners will never be the same

Bittlegeuss 3 11h56m

Estranged uncles will start appearing out of nowhere.

sxule 31 4h32m

Only one thing to do. Own it by doing porn! Family probably assumes it anyway, so why not make it a side hustle?

have_3-20characters 24 5h55m

I was thinking more along the lines of fleeing the country, but your idea works too.

TheMexicanJuan 3 14h7m

Does the oxygen tank happen to fit in an anus?

Dwiebe93 2632 2h43m

I feel your pain.. the cloud has got me in similar way. Apple tv screen saver was on and yup there goes my dick floating accross the screen, ran out of my room to gather up every device in the house but it was too late.

Onikojima 465 3h41m

kind of reminds me of a story a friend of mine told years ago, he used to work at best buy and someone came in to return a tablet and he had a look at it then wanted to examine it some more after the customer got a refund and left. he looked through photos and immediately saw spread butt shots from all sorts of angles and distances and hastely attempted to factory reset it as quickly as possible, he lost his appetite for the rest of the day

abigailthefail 477 S 5h0m

i work at best buy and i know for a fact that we aren’t allowed to look through a customers device so unfortunately this man did it to himself

justPassingThrou15 224 6h20m

I "traded in" an old iphone to apple a few months ago. I had reset it before going into the store. While I was there doing the trade-in, the guy reset it (clears all data) twice. This is a pretty good policy.

Xalaxis 11 12h37m

I mean, I get resetting it once, but twice is excessive.

rathlord 29 13h27m

From a data recovery perspective, not really. The more new writes you put on the HD the harder it is to piece back together previously erased data.

Xalaxis 6 13h37m

Yes, but iPhones are encrypted. The wiping process simply needs to erase the key for data security purposes.

anticlockwize 7 13h51m

Probably just policy / standard procedure

DracoBalatro 48 6h25m

This is probably why they made the rule. That man is now the CEO of Best Buy

KittenLOVER999 3 13h48m

What’s the policy and what is actually done are typically two very different things though, I have several friends who work at an authorized retailer of a big cell phone carrier in the US, they all will look through people’s iCloud folders when they are “working” on a trade in

Magnesus 92 4h18m

I hope he washed his hands after touching that tablet.

Ahem_ak_achem_ACHOO 5 7h25m

Nah he contracted conjunctivitis in both eyes on the spot the anus was too powerful

gurg2k1 3 9h39m

I mean if you think about it this is true of nearly every phone/tablet.

GladVlad398 25 4h19m

What was that, like some kind of anti-perv measure? Wild

smotherz 435 4h46m

Same thing happened to me except it was my husbands grandparents Apple TV screensaver. The picture was a screen shot from Snapchat of me in my bra entitled, “My boobies miss you!” These posts make me feel better.

justPassingThrou15 25 6h21m

tits or GTFO (Granddaughter Titpics For OldFolks)

xumixu 125 4h56m

really this things put your stored photos as screensaver? what kind of devil thought that up!?

justPassingThrou15 75 6h23m

I'm not sure whose photo roll consists mainly of pics of them with their friends or regaling previous adventures. Mine doesn't.

fox_eyed_man 66 7h13m

My camera roll consists of photos of paper documents that I don’t want to have to physically keep up with, accidental photos of floors or ceilings, screenshots varying in levels of appropriateness, some pictures/videos of myself and my girlfriend (some NSFW, some not) and saved wallpaper images I’ll never actually use. None of them are saved to the cloud or connected to any external devices.

MarcusForever 28 7h26m

Mine is like 80% photos of my dog; the rest is the documents you mentioned and various weird things I see while walking around or in the office that I want to show to my husband when I get home.

Angelbabysdaddy 3 12h18m

Don't forget the 150 photos and 2.3gb video of the inside of your pocket

grouchy_fox 5 12h57m

It's pretty common. Plenty of people have pictures of places they've been, fun times with friends etc. So it makes sense. Although, I much prefer the Chromecast approach - use their service by default for more generic images (art, landscapes, cool aerial photographs etc.) And have using your photo albums as something you have to enable.

xumixu 5 13h39m

The chrome cast behavior that your described is what I would expect at least. And preferably full user picked folders.

endo55 4 6h21m

Not everyone takes x-rated pics... and the screen saver is configurable.

xumixu 12 6h23m

Not all has to be x-rated. I only want my etically and morally incorrect dank memes on facebook, not on my TV.

savetheunstable 4 7h31m

It was a multi-step process for me to get my personal photos as screensavers. It's not set up by default

GormyGorm 45 5h11m

Cmon man, haven't shitty direct-to-dvd films taught us to keep our dicks off of the cloud? xD

kd5nrh 59 5h43m

Eventually people may learn that "the cloud" is just computers you have zero control over, but I doubt it will help.

Worked for a company that used several cloud-based apps to do things we could easily have done locally. Fiber trunk line got cut, and we lost internet for 3 days. They spent a fortune on a backup internet connection rather than move those functions back to local apps for about $600 total in software.

Best part? New backup internet connection used the same trunk line that had been cut.

Deez05 5 6h46m

I’m imagining your dick bouncing around the screen changing colors like that old DVD screen saver or whatever it was

ShamelessKinkySub 5 7h31m

At least your TV screen magnified it to 6 inches of gloriousness

I_Am_Slightly_Evil 2 5h0m

That’s what the hidden folder is for.

taramisus 1980 17m

Yikes. Good thing you buy everything through Amazon because you may want to lie low for the next few decades.

sielemm 1083 30m

I feel deeply betrayed by Amazon lol

TheLostTexan87 240 5h27m

So, when you buy Amazon devices there’s an option for ‘gift’. If it’s not a gift, they pre-register it under your account to make your life easier. However, there is indeed a prompt upon setup of ‘is this you?’ - at which point your family should’ve hit ‘no’ and signed into their own.

agroghan 50 7h56m

Do you know if there's a way for me to see if anyone I have gifted a fire stick to left it connected to my account?

TheLostTexan87 52 8h6m

I don’t know about seeing who you gifted it to (other than going by date/device), but yes - you can see all devices registered to you.

Specifically for the Amazon APP (the main shipping one), click on the 3 bars that opens the menu. Go to ‘Your Account’, scroll to ‘Account Settings’, and select ‘Manage your Kindle content and devices’. On the page that opens, select ‘devices’ (a tab-like button near the top, next to content and preferences), and then hit the drop down and select a device. Once you’re on a device you can hit the ‘Device Actions’ drop down and ‘Deregister’ to remove your account from that device.

technifocal 12 10h57m

Sure, click "Manage your content and devices" then "Devices" then it'll show you a list. Be aware (at least on my account) this tends to have a lot of duplicates, for example my Phone is listed as:

  • Shopping App for Android
  • Audible for Android
  • Kindle for Android
  • Alexa Mobile
  • Amazon Music for Android

Unrelated little ramble, why doesn't Amazon tell me what kind of dash button these are? Or let me rename them like every other kind of device?

TheRealBigDave 4 13h6m

Yea, they should have said no, but if OP's mom is anything like mine, she will have just pressed buttons until A) The device miraculously started working, or B) She got stuck and had to call me for assistance.

indecisive_maybe 178 2h50m

Maybe Amazon's just trying to play matchmaker? Some guy (not a relative) there will get interested and you'll fall in love, get married, and your kids will have Amazon to thank.

physhstyx13 435 3h24m

And if a relative is interested, well, then: Alabamazon

CasualFire1 35 6h7m

Alabamazon sounds like either

A) a crappy villain

or B) an obscure god with a minor cult following.

andeleidun 3 8h53m

I'm going for B. For some reason I think they're cannibals.

Flukaku 32 4h26m
Alexis_Ironclaw 52 3h29m


did you read the post? She has a SO already...

heyugl 35 4h36m

sadly, that never stopped people of finding another.-

Netkid 12 5h42m

"Challenge accepted." ~Amazon

boomzeg 2 7h34m

uh, the more.... the merrier? ;)

Madeline_Canada 26 4h41m

My daughter and I were discussing this exact type of scenario last night as she uses my Amazon Prime account and her another daughter and me all have Fire Sticks. My daughter told me that she had signed into photos once only to find my photos and was horrified to think that I might be able to see hers. Fortunately I hadn't logged in in the past 2 years oh, so all my pictures were old and if she had any I did not see them. She deleted hers off the app and was really pissed because they also deleted off her device.

Anyway if anyone knows how to separate the accounts please let me know.

Edit: thanks to everyone who messaged about family accounts! I'll definitely be doing that tonight.

bro_before_ho 19 5h56m

Use separate accounts. Right now you use one account, yours. Either make her a new one, or remove all your stuff from it and let her make a new password/email so it's hers.

72057294629396501 9 10h20m

Make your current account for sharing. Create a secondary account for private use. Create a third account for buying your Nazi memorabilia or other dark secrets.

EladinGamer 5 5h58m

Family accounts are a thing.

pandito_flexo 3 10h3m

If you’re the master Prime account holder, just set her up as a sub-account under your family plan that’s built in to Prime. Separate everything.

honzaf 4 4h53m

Might even ask for damages! It’s totally normal to buy gifts for other people as well and not just for yourself and this is a huge privacy gaffe!

kodayume 3 5h46m

Thats their plan, now ull need amazon to deliver everything :0

Blekanly 2 5h49m

At the very least, you have the material to leave one heck of a review on the product page.


How the fuck does a product that you had never touched manage to connect to your Amazon account? That doesn't make any sense.

Also, where were the pictures stored? How did this device access your pictures when at your parents house? Do you save sexy pictures on Amazon somehow?

AgathaM 1549 1h21m

When you buy an amazon device, it will automatically attach to your account unless you tell it that you want it as a stand alone device.


that's so fucking insane. Amazon is nuts. if someone steals the package they just get access to your account??

zombieblackbird 962 2h35m

It's a "feature". /s

Hyrule_34 349 3h25m

More and more I feel that, even if it sucks for a while, it's time to metaphorically burn and raze all the big megacorps to the ground. Shit is getting way out of hand and has been for a while.

fun22watcher 89 3h49m

You have to specify that it was bought as a gift.. otherwise it must be for you.. 🤪

gcruzatto 63 4h49m

I bought my cousin one as well. Now I'm wondering if this thing has been in my account the whole time. It wasn't a gift, so there's no way I clicked the gift option

ShamelessKinkySub 25 7h21m

Your cousin probably just didn't question how Amazon figured out their porn preferences

redd_dot 16 5h32m

Sounds riiiiiight

username--_-- 5 6h14m

You can check here

CloudStrifeFromNibel 15 5h46m

Even if you buy it for you, there is no excuse for that. I'll set it up myself thank you.

Regular-Human-347329 3 13h9m

Absolute bare minimum opsec should require a user to login with email & password before the connection of any device to a user account.

Amazon should be ashamed of themselves for allowing devices not in a users possession to be authenticated to their account.

paralyyzed 21 4h12m


Poldark_Lite 2 5h15m

You might like this.

zombieblackbird 2 5h17m

I did. Thanks :)

AgathaM 141 2h34m

It’s up to you to turn it off when you order it. They have it set up that way for ease of setup when it gets to you.


on by default is just wrong

dhanson865 5 6h50m

not only is it on by default but if you sell it used you have to manually remove it from your account. No sort of device wipe keeps it from setting up as yours again if it's still listed on the account.

robclancy 8 7h28m

That sounds illegal in the EU.

Excenters 247 3h25m

That should be opt-in not opt-out. Situations like OP's are basically guaranteed to occur since they intentionally made it oup-out. They just don't give a shit.

lookalive07 32 5h52m

It's less that they don't give a shit, and more that this is just the way they're programmed. They program the device assuming that the product needs to be as easy to set up as possible so they don't get support calls from people who are not tech savvy enough to set up a device themselves.

We live in a world where a device that is made to make peoples' lives easier is so easy to set up, you can do it in your sleep, yet people still need Geek Squad and phone support to get a fucking Echo set up, even though Alexa leads you through the whole process. It's why tech support scams exist, because there is a market preying on people who don't know how to work anything digital.

Leaves_Swype_Typos 17 7h22m

This right here. People underestimate how technologically illiterate consumers can be, and the kind of calls you can get in tech support for these device+service deals.

The fewer steps you need to put people through, the better.

MeagoDK 7 7h58m

The amount of calls I have gotten where people can't even figure out how to log in with their accounts.

theferrit32 21 4h57m

That's really stupid and very insecure. Logging into the device is like a 30 second process max. They could even use email link verification or code verification instead, which would be even faster for people.

username--_-- 2 6h16m

fire tv doesn't have a keyboard, so it would probably be a few minutes. Not to mention that since you are using the on-screen keyboard to log in, if you are setting it up with other people in the room, you'd have to ask them to avert their gaze.

dhanson865 7 6h52m

they could do that the same way all the online streaming apps do. The device puts up a code and you enter that code on your phone/laptop/desktop PC to associate it with your account.

username--_-- 5 7h0m

That's a great point. essentially associate it with your account but require some X-digit code to log in. Seems so basic that i'm surprised they aren't doing it already.

suvlub 3 7h51m

It's convenient in the same way leaving your doors and car unlocked is convenient. Passwords aren't some evil conspiracy someone made up to make people's lives harder.

throwawy1321 43 4h3m

If you log in to amazon via a PC you can forcefully log out devices from your account.

Witchief 10 6h44m

Wow someone with something helpful to say, that's rare!

Multipoptart 5 4h43m

Right see welcome to Capitalism.

Amazon did the math and calculated that the amount of lost business caused by shitty data security will cost less than the amount of customer service they'll have to pay for by having their idiot customers try and fail to connect their devices to their accounts.

So now devices autoconnect to accounts. Because money.

jlonso 5 5h31m

ppl be stealing amazon packages hoping its an Amazon product that stores nudes

ILoveRegenHealth 2 7h26m


That's why I think it's really stupid. They should not make them pre-register. Make them all the same and blank, and we log in like normal.

I guess one way to avoid it is to choose "Gift" for yourself. I wonder if they allow that.

[deleted] 108 3h5m


buddha-ish 91 3h11m

If you order it from Amazon, it will already be set for your account. Third party sellers are different.

[deleted] 35 3h12m


buddha-ish 101 3h13m

Directly from Amazon using a Prime account? Because 3 Fire sticks, 2 Fire TVs and an Echo all came set to my account...

Gollomor 30 4h2m

Maybe it‘s different in different countries? I saw some videos from the US and they were set to accounts. But when I order them on amazon germany we always have to set up every single device.

skiing123 29 4h22m

Then probably just EU or German laws

falfu 3 4h56m

Probably PDPA

Drachir133 2 4h54m

I'm from Germany and when I bought my Fire Tablet it came attached to my Account. That was 1 Year ago tho, maybe something changed.

MeagoDK 2 8h0m

GDPR happened like a year ago.

invitedguest50 7 4h37m

You can go to Amazon now and see the fire stick defaults to being linked to your Amazon account when you order from your account. Apparently she left that box checked.

FuglyShmugly 2 6h46m

Taking pictures of your vagina was the first mistake.

O0-__-0O 6 3h30m

Maybe they are saying third party sellers also sell Amazon hardware. I bought a Fire 7 and it already had the account. I had to chat with a rep to turn off ads for free.

neondino 56 3h14m

My firestick and my tablet were both already signed in on my account because I bought them through my prime. This may be a country by country restriction maybe if you've not had that?

[deleted] 17 3h31m


relayrider 16 3h40m

i can confirm, unless you say "this is a gift" amazon will send it linked to your account...

i know because my father racked up a bunch of charges...

MrEZ3 2 4h46m

Not to mention a default personal photos screen saver..

NashChatt 47 4h22m

Hold up...
You're telling me some guys in a factory somewhere can get full access to any amazon account by just "attaching" a device to it? Wow. From an information security perspective, that shouldn't even be possible. Much less by some randos fulfilling orders day-to-day.

fiverhoo 35 4h28m

Heads up -- they have your ADDRESS. too!

bro_before_ho 7 6h1m

Oh shit oh fuck I hope they don't know my CC number!

ZaryaStark 16 6h31m

I don't think this happens in the factory... With a serial number and order ID, I'm sure that an account can be linked without knowing which one or without physical access to a device.

chazzmoney 7 6h46m

Not sure entirely how it works but the people pulling and packaging couldn’t possibly have access to that. It’s probably more likely when they scan the item to send it to you the serial number passes through some system that causes it to register to you the first time it gets on the internet.

Not_The_Truthiest 3 7h22m

Yep. In a previous job we used to send out Chromebox devices. We’d register the serial number on the web interface and send the box to site, unopened. Once someone connects it to the internet (either via wireless, or even headless by connecting power and an RJ45 cable), it would configure itself based on the settings in the management interface.

SouthEastLuxe 16 3h25m

Exactly. I think you have to check a box so it ships "blank".

ScratchinWarlok 5 11h11m

Ya but you have to put the pictures in a folder for amazon to use them in the screensaver. Im a little doubtful about this whole thing.

scrabbleinjury 142 55m

My brother had me buy his wife's new tablet and accessories to hide them from her before Christmas last year and it all came attached to my account. He had to set everything up for her account before he could wrap it and give it to her.

RealHumanUserNotABot 77 1h10m

A cool feature in theory, but could they at least throw it in as an option at checkout?!

strikerdeath 129 1h36m

They do, you mark it as a gift and it won't come pre-attached to your account.

RealHumanUserNotABot 39 2h9m

That makes sense. Do you know if there is indication during the process that you need to do that?

Stoppels 60 3h31m

I don't think it makes sense. That box usually just means they don't include a price tag or suggest gift wrapping. They shouldn't take something people are used to, change what it means and then do something dangerously insecure based on people ignoring a little option.

Shitty-Coriolis 7 4h30m


FiorinasFury 2 4h54m

I recently purchased a kindle fire for a gift and I already knew that it would by default link to my account. I made sure to click the gift option and at checkout, it asked for confirmation that I did not want it linked to my account. It's something you have to be aware of for sure.

d2factotum 2 8h52m

Don't know about anywhere else, but on the UK amazon store, the option to do that clearly says "This is a gift, do not link to my account".

Ragdoll_Knight 14 2h38m

There's normally a text line that asks "Is this a gift?" Followed by a check box to mark it as a gift.

RealHumanUserNotABot 130 2h45m

When buying a fire stick they should change the message to “Is this a gift? (Check this box if you don’t want your family to see your vagina)”

Kronusx12 16 3h34m

There’s also a checkbox on the item page that says “Link to my Amazon account to simplify setup”

Gathorall 4 8h16m

Default ticked or not?

Anonamyss 23 3h44m

They REALLY need to do more than to ask, “Is this a gift?”

I bought my kids Amazon Fire tablets for Christmas last year. I saw that question, but skipped it because I assumed it had to do with gift wrap or gift receipts...because that’s what it had always referred to every other time I clicked it on previous purchases.

As the package was coming to me and I planned to wrap them myself, I didn’t feel the need to check that box. In my case, it was simply an annoyance as my kids had to log me off and sign in on their own accounts.

I hope OP forwards her story to Amazon so they see the problems this policy creates for their customers.

WaitForItTheMongols 9 3h42m

Yeah, but they should say why it matters. If it was me I would end up glossing over that thinking "Why do you need to know? I give money, you give item. That's all this interaction needs to be, buddy"

ThraxMaximinus 9 3h27m

Im looking at a fire stick on the Amazon App right now. Before I even add it to my cart is has an option that is pre checked saying to link it to my account. So just uncheck the box and add it to your account and Im assuming it comes without info on it.

Gathorall 3 8h21m

Why is an extreme information security hazard pre-applied?

sielemm 142 2h7m

I failed miserably here, I didn't even think to check that box, I really just thought that was so it didn't include a price tag or do they'd send a gift receipt for returns.

Presently_Absent 53 4h5m

To be fair, that's fucked up for Amazon to do. The checkbox should be to turn ON the feature, not to have it on by default!!!

susanne-o 6 7h2m

Srsly this to me sounds like an Amazon f-up, not yours.

This side effect, giving full access to your account, must be marked right where you can turn it off when ordering.

The hint can't be hidden somewhere in some text or boilerplate that nobody reads.

To anybody in your family talking about the pics imo it's none of their business and they know, and whoever found the folder with the remote knew where the remote was, any decent person then turns off the telly.

And, in another vein, brene brown on shame and vulnerability, a maybe at this time interesting TED talk.

Amazon fucked up, and the person with the remote fucked up.

Frapcaster 91 2h51m

The first FU here is storing your nudes in the cloud. I save almost nothing in cloud storage, and am always surprised how most people seem happy to go with "back up everything automatically" as their usual setting.

realistidealist 30 3h19m

I’m never saving anything even remotely sexy or intimate to any cloud storage, idea scared me to begin with but a parade of TIFUs has sealed the deal.

Flyrpotacreepugmu 26 3h27m

And don't forget The Fappening.

Frapcaster 3 10h6m

I also hate how apps scan all your photos, videos, etc., to automatically add all media. It's like hey, let me add just the folders I want here.

Shitty-Coriolis 5 4h36m

Yeah I have a secure folder where all that shit goes now.

But also, I can kind of see how one might forget about them... Then back up their shit. They might mean to fix it but the forget again.. at least that would be me.

s0cks_nz 2 4h48m


Most of us aren't taking nude photos tho, so it's useful feature as you never know when your phone might get lost of broken.

boomerangchampion 4 6h31m

Yeah I'm not surprised everybody backs up to the cloud, I am surprised that so many people are taking nude photos of themselves. There's a whole bunch of people in this thread saying the same thing has happened to them, and there's an endless parade of people uploading nudes to Reddit.

Maybe I'm just a square but I cannot relate one bit. I've got literally zero impulse to take a nude photo even before worrying about cloud based mishaps.

plasmaXL1 68 1h0m

That's why I hate that level of electronic connectivity


yeah, ridiculous. what if someone steals the package, now they just have access to my account???

snakehead404 21 2h25m


[deleted] 8 4h30m


theunitedguy 2 8h23m

Unfortunately some people are tech illiterate.

onyxaj 36 3h34m

She said she uploaded all her cell pics to the Amazon Cloud. Since the device was logged into her account, it could access those pictures.

Why the FireStick thinks random uploaded unscreened pictures are a good screensaver is beyond me though.

DemIce 35 4h8m


She said people were messing around with it. Somebody probably found the options for the screensaver, changed it to pictures, and thought it was funny to see her random pics (not necessarily the risque ones).

By default, it shows photos from around the world a la r/earthporn

onyxaj 6 6h14m

Ah, that makes sense. I could see that being a setting someone turned on.

BindersFullOfLemon 11 4h55m

Firestick definitely does not default to cloud photos, it has to be purposely changed to that from the default screensaver (cities, forests, waterfalls, etc) setting.

LogicalComa 10 3h19m

I bought a few Kindles that were on sale through the Amazon app. I gave them as gifts and they came pre signed in to my account.

99213 9 3h52m

It's kind of disturbing. I got a free Echo Show and I didn't need it so I sold it on Craigslist. When that person eventually gifted it, I got an email that said "now active". I quickly went to disconnect, but the new owners also did the same by that point. But it was a bit disturbing.

Sheylan 4 3h31m

That doesn't make any sense.

Nope, this is a standard thing amazon does.

3hitbye 3 3h50m

Can confirm. Just bought a fire stick And there’s a checkbox.

Basically asking to link your account for easy setup.

It’s auto applied. I had to uncheck because I wasn’t sure I wanted my account to be on there .

Anyways, this post makes 100% sense

hammyhamm 2 3h45m

Honestly sounds like an easy way to access someone's cloud photos

imagineiflobsters 2 6h30m

It is a horrible system. I got a cheap amazon fire tablet and gave it to a complete stranger as a gift on Christmas. One of those “get a gift for a kid in need” local things.

Never opened the box, just wrapped it myself and gave it away.

I then had to spend part of Christmas resetting my password and refunding several app purchases, because apparently the device came pre-setup and logged in as me.

It wasn’t too many apps thankfully. Not sure the kid realized what he was doing. But this shouldn’t even be possible! I have two factor authentication and an incredibly strong password and amazon just logged me in without question and let a stranger in, just because I paid for the device.

HanginToads 990 3h13m

Amazon giveth, and Amazon taketh.

notalentnodirection 799 S 3h21m

Annnd Amazon shareth.

heyugl 77 4h39m

deliverybots assemble! -Amazon Prime

paracostic 35 6h20m

And Amazon don't careth

johnnys_sack 656 3h13m

Honestly it's going to suck for a bit. Best thing you can do is to own up to it and try to laugh about it later.

I once sent a text message of the 🍆 eggplant emoji asking my wife if it was almost "🍆 time?" Except that I sent the message to my daughter's basketball team parents group chat.

My wife and I were mortified for a few days but now I laugh about it. Granted, this is a little different in that your family all knows you super intimately 😄

BenTVNerd21 655 3h25m



parents group chat


tivinho99 160 5h17m

So? You asked if dinner was ready in the wrong chat, is a honest mistake.

Bit weird from all the food emoji you choosw eggplant but the message is clear.

bro_before_ho 47 6h10m

Why? Eggplant is fantastic.

negative-nancie 8 14h5m

you should try mine

GrandKaiser 7 9h42m

Eggplant Parm is a fun and healthy way to lose weight.

4productivity 7 11h46m

🍆 is a fun and healthy way to lose weight.

SnakeJG 95 3h35m

I also get excited by eggplant parmesan night!

GormyGorm 26 5h12m

I'm more of a chicken parm guy, but any parm is good parm!

ShamelessKinkySub 4 7h34m

I like myself a good, tender breast. Place that in front of me and I'll lick it clean.

Boobs too

Wolfcake82 22 4h8m

That's honestly hilarious and at least it's not AWFUL lmao

Its_Juice 3 13h46m

Lmao one time on January 1st a few years ago I thought it would be funny to text “I haven’t taken a shit since last year!” To my family group chat. Instead somehow I sent it to the chat with a group project for school. I had met these people like one time in class. They did not reply or ever mention it.

Dexter_06 309 3h51m

Honest answer Reddit, how many of you checked her post history hoping to see said evidence?

sielemm 495 3h59m

Probably a lot cuz my cat photo suddenly went from like 12 upvotes to over 50.

ruckertopia 254 4h26m

Oh shit, cat photo? Brb.

Pirate_Mudd 129 4h41m

That's a nice fucking kitty.

VagrantValmar 66 6h37m

Plot Twist: this post was just karma farming for the kitty pic

Holybasil 12 13h36m


sielemm 3 20h17m

You are correct. My kitty pic definitely deserved more attention, I was disappointed.

Dexter_06 47 4h8m

That's probably a good idea, I'm going to go stalk your username again and upvote that cat.

heyugl 25 4h42m

the cat is over a 100 as of now..

bobbywright86 12 7h16m

2hrs later ... now over 400!

jeditaz11 17 8h36m

Just kicked it up to 500

sahmackle 9 10h19m

Just hit 607.

KKlear 6 11h1m

We're doing it, Reddit!

Naticus105 3 13h14m

I just pushed it to 800.

ndrdog 14 4h18m

😂😂😂😂😂 Is you cat shaved?

FuglyShmugly 7 6h50m

No, but my balls are.

HoneyBucketsOfOats 12 5h14m

We all were trying to see you in the windshield reflection.

FuglyShmugly 8 6h50m

We need photos of the other cat. Where are they?

Kiavin 3 6h2m

I love your cat! I went looking for said cat though. Not the other pictures

-mihul- 3 8h6m

I got you! It’s up to 460 upvotes now :)

Ankoku_Teion 3 1d0h17m

/u/Dexter_06 put the idea in my head. Also your cat is gorgeous. And on 1.1k

Dirkins 71 5h18m

Guilty. Sadly, she doesn't share with us. Only family.

Justhe3guy 23 6h32m

We’re all family here ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

j2o1707 9 11h34m

Welcome to the family u/sielemm

therealsix 8 11h56m

Well I mean, if everyone has seen her intimate pics then it's not as embarrassing, right? OP, just go ahead and post them to reduce your embarrassment.

BaronWiggle 3 13h57m

I checked her post history to see how long she's been working for Amazon.

freckled_porcelain 287 3h34m

If you order an Amazon electronic, it's automatically linked to your account unless you click the "this is a gift" check mark before you buy it.

I bought my baby brother a fire tablet and made sure it wouldn't get to him still linked to my account. My dad sucks, and if he spotted that he would have ordered a bunch of stuff on Amazon with my credit card.

thelordofscrubs 162 11h6m

Whoa whoa whoa what the fuck? This comment took a sharp turn from personal story to my dad is a criminal who looks for opportunities to steal from his children

strain_of_thought 43 12h33m

Not uncommon, unfortunately. To lots of people children are just marks who can be groomed to be suckers for their scams throughout their entire lives, and to stop their parents from doing these things they basically have to cut them off entirely and press criminal charges. The most common source of identity theft is parents stealing the identity of their children.

Shadowblink 15 14h4m

Can confirm. All the money I received from birthday parties and other events always had to go to my savings account, I was never allowed to spend it. On top of this, I was told 50 euros was put on it monthly by my dad. When I finally received the account when I was 18, it only had 500 euros on it.

Wolfgang_Maximus 8 13h35m

I've heard the horror stories of parents signing up for credit cards in their children's names and maxing them out and moving on to the next card without repercussion.

GothWitchOfBrooklyn 6 13h55m

Happened to multiple people I know. They used their ssns for electric bills and credit cards and used money for drugs

Exceptionallyuseless 3 15h43m

My mom opened two credit cards under my name. Also took 98% of my student loans to help pay for her rent and I'm fortunate enough that I only went for one semester (my sibling who went to college full term wasn't that lucky) before I got a decent paying job, but even then my Tax returns had to pay those loans back. So yeah, stuff like this happens all the time.

Midgetboy67 250 50m

Tbh if your family members were looking long enough to see the more identifying photos, I'd say they are the weird ones here and come away from this worse than you did.

French_foxy 187 3h29m

I don't know tbh. Did you never freeze while seing something out of the ordinary ? Like your brains is "Nah... that can't be... or can ? Nah. No YES OMG is this real?;.." etc etc
I do think it's possible to people to stare at those photos because they are simply shoked.

silentxxkilla 61 3h44m

The can't look away from a Trainwreck idiom.

French_foxy 5 4h12m

Trainwreck idiom

Ah yes that's the name !

iLickVaginalBlood 8 6h18m

Yeah, I agree. Like for example, one time I walked into my mom in the bathroom changing out her tampon. It came across as a complete shock to me, I just didn't know what I was looking at. When she turned around to wrap the tampon and throw it away, I had a front-row seat to the bloody flower unfurling before my eyes as she bent down. I've never been the same since.

French_foxy 10 6h23m

I've never been the same since.

Yes, /u/iLickVaginalBlood , your username name checks out preeeeety damn well. Jeez xD

jeditaz11 3 8h38m

First thing I noticed, to bad he left out the licking part of the story.

CarefreeKate 47 59m

Agreed, that's super awkward they just kept staring

BenTVNerd21 178 3h20m

I mean if a 65" vagina pops up on the TV I'm looking.

stls 16 3h52m


Karn1v3rus 5 10h12m

How big does op need to be for her vagina to be 65"???

clararalee 29 3h51m

Umm if a 65” vagina shows up on a big screen you bet I’ll be staring like it’s a fluffing alien crawling out from the TV.

Syhreality 3 4h38m

Clearly the way OP should have handled this was to just sit there, stare and assert dominance. Isn’t this how it all plays out every time somebody on Reddit gets caught masturbating!? Make the family out to be the weird ones for continuing to watch.

ShamelessKinkySub 2 7h38m


No, I sit there in shame with my legs wide open so the world can see why I'm a disappointment

Hookem-Horns 192 2h26m

Don’t ever give Alexa access to your X rated pics ;)

fiyerooo 113 3h33m


Kimlitz 99 3h58m

Seriously, did OP learn nothing from the Fappening?

Pvt_Lee_Fapping 57 4h5m

5 years ago... my how the time flies.

TARDISboy 9 7h22m

Remember, remember the day before September

Hookem-Horns 14 4h4m

Ahh yes, classic.

GrauGeist8888 173 2h45m

I spit out my drink

Huh. From the pictures you described, I figured you for a swallower...

NooYurrsDey 159 4h25m

Is it just me or does this this read like a guerilla marketing piece for Amazon? OP spent half the time talking about Amazon products and all the things you can get on there.

AbnormallyBendPenis 105 5h0m

If it is, all I leaned is Amazon has shit implementation of their cloud devices and I wouldn't wanna use them

AManCalledE 6 9h20m

Yeah, it’s pretty much helped cement my conviction to use as little Amazon as possible.

Y_Sam 37 4h31m

Yeah, this reeks of /r/hailcorporate material.

limitbroken 27 5h3m

Ah yes, because nothing says "corporate guerilla marketing" like a post that is basically a giant glowing neon sign of how insanely laissez-faire their entire approach to privacy is

Risk management would flay you the fuck alive for even thinking about making a post like that.

PandaMandaBear 9 6h15m

Eh, I'd argue that even if it did slightly tarnish the name of the brand (note that it only does this by the end, where a sizable portion of readers would have given up) the exposure from this post is huge, and it's basically an advertisement until the 3rd paragraph.

Even if you were concerned about their privacy matters, you now know and have read about all the stellar features that an amazon prime subscription gets you.

Y_Sam 4 9h36m

Every "save to cloud" feature is lacking in privacy, but none of those are usually preceded by a lenghty presentation of all the irrelevant features to the story OP likes.

EleAnon 9 9h2m

Reeks more of dumbass to me, how the hell does somone 'eat, sleep and breathe amazon' ?

And the more urgent problem, who takes photos of their cocks/dicks and saves them to a cloud?

Y_Sam 3 9h35m


Way too many people with smartphones.
Point is, nobody would have spent a minute thinking about all these wonderful features today if not for that extremely detailed story with an unnecessary intro.

McCraftyPants 23 5h33m

That's all I could think reading this. The whole first paragraph is just talking about how much she loves amazon.

Captain-Fubar 22 5h9m

That's what I was thinking, more time was spent on praising Amazon than the story itself

bro_before_ho 12 6h17m

Well that's because Amazon is fantastic! I can purchase all my needs with my Amazon Alexa while watching the very best content on Amazon Prime with my Amazon Fire TV!

If you sign up now and load your account with $100, we'll give you $10!

As a legit amazon customer and not an amazon employee I am very happy with our fantastic deals.

TheNecromancer 5 8h42m

Even if not, that first paragraph is pretty concerning

orangewhiteshadow 147 2h48m

This is an ad.

mealzer 36 3h18m

For real

Shittysearchengine 12 5h5m

I would say this sounds unatural and unbelievable, but everyone else seems to buy it, so I guess I'm the dummy.

LasersTheyWork 5 13h13m

It’s convinced me never to buy an Amazon product again that’s for sure.

peter_vanek 113 2h46m

I feel like I just read an amazon ad lmao, but on the real, everything is gunna be fine! People will move on and forget

OblivionsMemories 92 3h29m

Oh yeah, nothing makes me want to buy an Amazon product like "It will display your vagina in HD without prompting for all your family and friends to see!"

peter_vanek 15 3h46m

Yeah I’m surprised they don’t show those features on the commercials!

Callistogalaxy 25 4h15m

Honestly, it's the first thing I thought. The continuous mention of Amazon & its extended products was at its most innocence, annoying. Even in her replies she wrote the name. These companies are known for doing things like this by creating a silly/funny story.

moesickle 13 3h36m

I seriously was thinking the same thing... nice try Amazon

Noob3rt 106 4h52m

As a male, I have a few policies in life that I believe many people should abide by and may this help you in future instances.

1 - If you can help it, do not take any photos at all. They will somehow always manage to be seen by people who are not supposed to see them.

2 - Do not include your face or notable features in the photos to allow for denial of existence should the above post happen.

3 - If you must take or save photos (of others), delete all traces of nude photography AFTER they have served their purpose. Scorched Earth that bitch.

Live by these rules and you will never have an issue with nude photos again.

[deleted] 29 9h26m


BrushedSpud 3 10h31m


Angelusz 3 11h30m

But they haven't fully served their purpose until the person they were intended for dies. It's always nice to get back to them every now and then. Better to secure the files wisely so chances of them escaping your control are minimized. There's no 100% security, but I'm pretty sure you can get to 99.9% if you're smart enough.

alien_nudes4free 61 4h30m

Either this is a blatant ad for Amazon products (the whole “WOW AMAZON IS SO GREAT AND HAS SO MANY SERVICES THAT ARE AMAZING” spiel followed by a “shocking” story to make you remember Amazon) or you really are the world’s most NPC walking mouth. Good Lord, default subs are cancer.

Yawndice 14 4h50m

Beautifully put

HeadfulOfHollow 6 14h20m

At least this story didn't have any embarrassing euphemisms, like most. Just a weirdly pro-corporate tone and yet another "hilarious" sex story that totally, definitely, really, occurred.

AbjectStress 5 11h57m

Immediately thought this from the get-go. How aren't more people seeing this.

Raven_of_Blades 55 1h12m

I am still not understanding how a brand new device auto signed into your amazon without even entering a password...

4ninawells 47 1h36m

I think when I ordered Fire tv sticks for my daughter, I had to tell them not to use my account. So then they came not linked to any account. The ones I order for me come with my account on it already. Either way though, it does seem like they should ask for a password the first time you use it.

AceMcCoy77 25 1h53m

Someone explained further up in a comment, but: When you purchase a Fire device through Amazon it's automatically connected to your account unless you check the little box telling Amazon that it's a gift.

ZachMN 44 2h13m

Seems like they should reverse that checkbox so it defaults to "don't connect to my account."

Sprinkles0 4 3h36m

But then people would miss out on this awesome feature!

anormalgeek 3 4h17m

You're right.

But Amazon disagrees.

uranus_be_cold 20 3h54m

As an old person, and also working in technology, I still do not understand why anyone would take an intimate picture of themself and transmit it over the internet or store it in the cloud. Google, Apple, Amazon... They all have access to your stuff.

They have even admitted listening in to your conversations with no reason to do so.

Demariyus_Targaryen 51 3h18m

Just based on the first paragraph I feel like you're getting paid to say this. Like those weird Twitter accounts that popped up a few weeks ago.

ChiefPyroManiac 49 3h27m

Nice ad for Amazon, Bezos. You almost had me, butt I see right through this poorly clothed "TIFU".


LPT: You can disable the amazon photos app and make it own protected

suckfail 66 4h21m

There's absolutely no reason to ever store sensitive photos in the cloud.

Use an old-ass digital camera with an SD card.

People seriously need to learn the cloud isn't secure. The fappening didn't teach anything apparently.

Seddit12 17 4h40m

Bring on Fappening Season 2

_isNaN 8 6h52m

The cloud is someone elses computer. This alone should be a reason not to store sensitive things there.

bentreflection 6 6h37m

Yeah no one is going to do that because modern phone cameras are too convenient and take better photos and are easier to send those pics to people. It’s risky but people will take that trade off.

silverwidow4 2 4h52m

While you're at it, keep it locked up (atleast the card) in a safe if you have family prone to browsing... Friends mother-inlaw found his camera and decided to look at the 'fun' honeymoon photos. Far as he could tell she looked at all ~40 of them lmao.

birdoutofwater 46 3h23m

If the TIFU subreddit had an origin story this would be it.

djdsf 45 4h29m

Why would you ever save photos to Amazon? Even if you use it for everything, stuff like that should never be linked to public profiles.

walterwhiteguy 42 4h33m

Pretty decent advert.

The_Kaurtz 42 4h52m

"I basically live, sleep eat and breath Amazon"

This is the most depressing thing I've read in a while

Persona_Alio 7 11h13m

She doesn't truly live Amazon until she's set up monthly subscriptions for 5-hour energy drinks and adult diapers for her job at an Amazon warehouse /s

cryptowank 29 5h5m


mapryan 9 14h53m
Captain-Fubar 27 4h55m

This reads like Amazon's marketing department trying a new tactic

idealaspirin 26 3h49m

This post is sponsored by Amazon™

coloradoconvict 25 2h20m

If things don't work out with your SO, I want to marry you, on the condition that the backdrop for our wedding is a gloriously lit 65" photograph of your vagina.

Treyspurlock 3 13h21m

And that they stop talking about amazon

DanielThePear_ 21 2h50m

Those things spy on you anyways, it isn't a good device to have in your home.

Yawndice 6 4h48m

Preeeeach, this is an ad as well.

Kiwislush 18 5h33m

50/50 this could be a concocted advertisement,

Its way too strong on talking about amazon products and services.

My moneys on this post was made by Bret in Viral Advertising

jahn_snu 5 9h41m

Holy shit, yes.

Something felt off the way it was written.

Awesiris 17 3h51m

Please treat anything you upload to cloud services as public information and anything sent over unencrypted e-mail as a post card.

Good rule of thumb: If you’re not comfortable with your family, SO, workplace and authorities seeing it, don’t put it on the cloud to begin with.

RadiantSpike 13 4h47m

This post reads like an Amazon advertisement

Heyheythrowaway324 13 6h21m

Totally unrealistic. No one likes Amazon Music.

smellslikefeetinhere 13 6h57m

This is some next-level viral marketing, Bezos.

CellBlockC 11 4h54m

No way this is true.


That's why I stopped supporting Amazon. They are an evil company and serve no public good. Fuck Bezos and his tax dodging ways.

elizzaybetch 10 4h42m

Oh. My. Gawd. This happened to me a few years ago when my mom got a new iPad and it linked to my iMessages and photos. I had been away from my SO for two weeks so there were a lot of photos....I know what you mean about having to take a lot before you get the “right” one. Full screen slideshow on her iPad. It was only in front of my poor mother and I still died from embarrassment. I didn’t know how to react except by completely ignoring the issue....good luck. I so so so sympathize.

OtherwiseJello 10 6h29m

Stop giving Bezos your money, honey.

DrSuessicide99 9 3h24m

Just another reason to hate amazon lol

enkrypt3d 9 4h32m

Op need an update!!

sielemm 28 4h36m

I'll post an update when I get the courage to call my mom.

cryptowank 9 5h7m


KapteeniJ 8 6h3m

Remember that in our heads we tend to think others remember our mistakes way better than they actually do.

So while you may think that no one will ever forget about this, actually the older folks present will die eventually, and the people have usually a pretty hazy memory of times they were kids, so after 40 years I think you can consider this event to be mostly forgotten!

But the upside here is, you managed to get internet points, so really, you should consider this a tradeoff.

filterspam 5 6h17m

Pretty sure if something like that happened at a family function nobody would ever forget and that family story would live on well beyond the lives of everyone who saw it.

disregard-this-post 3 14h28m

There’s spilling a drink so it looks like you peed yourself, and then there’s having your family see your clunge in HD.

willyoumassagemykale 3 19h16m

Guarantee no one will forget this lmao

Opiboble 7 3h15m

And that is why I don't use Amazon beyond buying things and watching Grand Tour. Their devices suck and so does their device/account security.

skyjynx 7 3h31m

The bigger FU is trusting big-tech that much. They've proven themselves untrustworthy; Google, FB, Amazon. Sorry, but you reap what you sow, hopefully this is a wake-up call for you at least.

OneStarvingEli 7 3h32m


Urdrago 4 5h23m

Nope clearly says it was the vag.

Boo_R4dley 7 3h59m

So someone dug into the settings at the party and changed the screensaver to use your photos saved on the Amazon Photos app? It,s set to a generic screensaver by default and there are several steps to get through to have your photos displayed.

Even with that the Firestick asks you to set up a pin when your first set it up for parental controls and purchases, etc. It asks for the pin to get into any settings menu including the one to change the screensaver.

elle-noelle 7 5h59m

This reads like a giant X rated ad for Amazon.

AbjectStress 7 11h58m

Imagine giving gold to an advert for Amazon.

cryptowank 6 5h6m


















basicislands 6 5h20m

Wow sick Amazon ad

CarefreeKate 5 59m

So much for privacy, eh? That's a major oof

maxvalley 5 3h26m

You’re finally getting screwed by Amazon as much as the typical Amazon employee

djacrylick 5 3h55m

thanks for the reminder to go to amazon photos and delete all of my pics from years ago

boykop 5 4h2m

omg I am just mortified on your behalf. Personally I would have broken the TV immediately. Just put a fist or a leg through it.

PLEASE PLEASE never trust any company with your nude photos. If you're going to at all, just send them via Telegram or some other secret messaging app. That's also on top of trusting someone with it should you break up with them.

Flippin' heck.. 😔

MrEZ3 5 4h43m

FYI TV's have an on/off button

KieranD9503 5 8h37m

Once you get through the Amazon ad it's an alright story.

NeuroSciCommunist 5 8h57m

Reads like a subliminal Amazon commercial.

Fav_OG 5 11h0m

This is all one giant advertising and you're all falling for it lol

Fucking dweebs

clydeobri 5 12h31m

As a former Amazon employee, I'd invite anyone who "breathes Amazon" to consider doing some reading into the working conditions within Amazon's offices and warehouses... I've sworn off buying from them or using any of their services because of the conditions my coworkers and I endured while working there. Convenience like that costs more than you think.

skadi29 5 12h48m

Did I read a reddit post or a fucking ad?

WhyBePC 5 13h16m

Copied and pasted from the Amazon Fire TV Stick manual, page 12

Page 12: "If you purchased your Amazon Fire TV device online from Amazon using your Amazon account, it should already be registered to you."

Honestly I was skeptical of OP's story. I would have never thought that Amazon would pre-register a device to the person buying it especially since this is a popular and inexpensive gift.

Exquisite_Blue 5 14h56m

"Google laughs in the background"

ThatIsTheDude 4 3h18m

That's when you yell, if you keep looking I'll have to start charging you.

If it makes you feel better if I saw that I would be rolling hard but not think any less of you.

dcks 4 4h43m

I'm sure it's been posted a million times already, but for someone that uses Amazon as much as you do you totally deserve this fuck up.

It would have told you very directly that you would be signed into the new device and if it was a present to check a box.

Since you didn't read, your family got to check a box... Lesson learned I hope, and if nakedness wasn't so taboo you'd already b in the clear. Own it and move on.

ModeHopper 4 9h2m

Yeah, I mean, I don't know why you sound so proud of the fact you're dependent on Amazon. That's like boasting that you're best mates with Saddam Hussein.

I'm gonna say you deserved this.

xxryu139xx 3 3h29m

when purchasing a fire device for someone else, make sure you check off "gift" so that it doesn't default your amazon account on to it. if you do forget to do this, u need to deauthorize said new device from your account.

Beardman_90 3 3h51m


IAmTheWaywardSon 3 4h19m

Same thing ended up happening a few years ago at the school I work at. Over the summer I set up Apple TVs and smart boards in every classroom. Each teacher connected their own apple account to the TV in their room when they get there in the Fall. One teacher left hers on during class and soon the screen saver started displaying her nudes for her class of 4th graders. We were hiring soon after.

vbcbandr 3 4h51m

You need a serious break from Amazon for a reasons not limited to this. Maybe this should be a wake up call not to let Amazon run your life as you so gloriously outlined in the first paragraph. But yeah, that was one helluva TIFU.

pinguin1234 3 5h38m

Two things always suprise me: 1. That people tust Amazon with anything. 2. That people are so worried, that they forget how their private parts look, that they have to upload pictures to every cloud the can find.

aza9999 3 6h7m

That's so sad. Alexa, play Despacito

spergins 3 9h26m

Cringe life you lead

ShrimpToothpaste 3 11h0m

Pre-configured without any need to verify the user is just horrible security.. especially in USA where stolen parcels seems to be a very big issue

TheDimHall 3 11h4m

Why the fuck would you let a big corporation take care of your private stuff anyway?

Dom1252 3 14h19m

This is why you use Google, it asks you for like 2 confirmations before it uses your own photos...

AslanSutu 3 14h19m

If you throw something to the cloud, it's bound to come back at you as rain.

Tugalord 3 15h54m


I've no words to describe how much your existence disgusts me.

Asianoodleman 2 3h19m

Mama mia that's a big OOF, I can't think of a way to get outta this one

slayertron 2 3h36m

If I made a mistake like that, my dick would murder me.

hammyhamm 2 3h45m

Now THIS is how you TIFU

1RedOne 2 4h6m

These things don't have an nsfw image analysis filter? Wtf!

Amazon is really amateur hour next to Google Photos with this stuff. My AutoAwesome / Google Assistant image compilations from trips and events are always super well tailored and exclude things like images I downloaded or nsfw pics.

I don't think I can ever remember nsfw stuff showing up in my Google creations, which is why I trust them enough to have a Google Home Hub showing photo slide shows.

It's insane to me that the Kindle Fire would just display all photos like this.

acandercat 2 4h14m

At this point in my life (I'm not sure of your age, apologies) I would have turned the TV off, grabbed a strong drink and just said fuck it ohh well while sipping on said drink. Just roll with it. Family's for life, you will eventually laugh this off.

cosgyp 2 4h33m

You have to nuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

varungupta3009 2 4h41m

This fuck up was sponsored my AMAZON.

EaterComputer 2 4h42m

PSA: If you are buying a fire tv device as a gift click the mark as gift option at checkout and it won't be automatically connected to your amazon account.

KatalystPrime 2 5h9m

this story brought to you by Amazon.com Inc

betterdeadthenfed 2 5h15m

wow thanks for the paragraph focusing exclusively on amazons features

syphon3980 2 5h29m

What if Amazon learns, and then starts saying things like about OP being a whore?

Bloodhavoc052 2 5h32m

Amazon has the answers to all of life's problems.

Well...almost all of life's problems.

schweez 2 5h40m

I basically live, eat, sleep and breath Amazon

Are you very fat?

erik_hagstrom 2 5h46m

This is a black mirror episode

kriscross122 2 5h51m

Well that's definitely more exciting than a yule log. Easy conversation starter.

javia1492 2 5h55m

If it makes you feel better, someone from Amazon has probably seen your 65" vagina as well.

Also, why would you keep the photos on your phone.....

On a very serious note though.....Amazon Music? REALLY? I MEAN REALLY?

dankgoku3 2 6h6m

basically live, eat, sleep and breath Amazon.

Oxygen: am i a joke to you

DGSlider 2 6h8m

Guess the fire stick burnt you. Sorry

Amir1205 2 6h11m

Why would you save those pics on the cloud? Your cooch is going nowhere (I hope)

[deleted] 2 6h29m


JoonJoose 2 6h33m

Serves you right for supporting Bezos, tbh.

highlor3 2 6h38m

Amazon helping in creating family's memories that will last.

yeah_nevermind 2 7h0m

Complete degenerate

Filthydogg 2 7h5m

Nothing like sharing an embarassing story to earn some internet points

ILoveRegenHealth 2 7h11m


Anyone else experience that? Why would Amazon do it like that without even asking for a password. Did they not think about ppl wanting to buy the Firestick as a gift? Are they stupid?

FlyScript 2 7h14m

Do if you buy a FireTV Stick on Amazon, it'll be automatically linked to the account that bought it? TIL

fm369 2 7h14m

Um that’s amazon being assholes unintentionally

also get a chrome cast instead, they’re better

OP4111 2 7h16m

Gotta use the Send as gift option sadly.

pounded_rivet 2 7h24m

All hail Bezos!

snuffdiddy 2 7h24m

This is the fuck up of all fuck ups

project100 2 7h43m

This is so clearly an ad.

"God I love Amazon. Btw did I mention that premium members get unlimited storage? Man I live and breathe Amazon. Fuck I love buying everything only with Amazon(TM)"

So many upvotes for this shit.

saschahi 2 7h58m

thanks amazon for the convenient pre-loggin in every ordered amazon fire-tv stick you order, without the need to put in your password at setup.

zeyjna 2 7h59m

Holy fuck 😂 straight out of a movie

Warchief_X 2 8h4m

Amazon send some devices pre-logged in. When I bought my Kindle, it says my name the moment I powered it on, and I thought that was weird. Then I realized they logged me in before shipping it to me.

SorenoSanguinem 2 8h10m

Omg..... She wins. That's it, she wins TIFU. Can we crown her Queen of this subreddit?

Solmagnum 2 8h34m

If there was ever a moment to realistically spit your drink out, that's one.

Takashishiful 2 8h36m

The first half of this post is just an ad

Highw4ySt4r 2 9h25m

I'll ask this until my final days; WHY ARE PEOPLE KEEPING THEIR NUDE PICS IN CLOUD STORAGE!?!?!

It's like you want a disaster to happen!