I killed the kitten.

Late November last year, we went over to Dibba, Fujeirah for a weekend. While we were there, a tiny kitten found her way under our parked  car. She limped all the way behind the boys, and grabbed hungrily at all the scraps we offered her. She looked awfully sick and had a terribly swollen leg, which she was tiresomely dragging around. It broke my heart to see this poor thing. Becoz it was the port area and in all probability, some of the rough drivers while reversing or toeing their boats had crushed her foot. She looked in so much pain. I knew I just had to help some how.

The boys took to her immediately. Somehow amazingly samie also didnt mind her. That gave me the courage to announce that when we returned we’d take her with us and probably give her over to Feline Friends for adoption.  Sam didnt really fuss or object and I knew in my heart, I was making a good choice for the little cat. What was her chances of survival in that area was really remote. She needed warmth, food, water and shelter. Alittle love would’nt hurt as well.  I knew it all the while that we would be giving her off to the FF so no attachments should be made, but if you know me, how long can you stay away from those puurrrrrrs ?? Everyone deserves a little love, even if the stay is so brief. Isnt it ?

Ofcourse, how we would manage to keep her away from Pepper would be another “MAJOR” issue. Keiki is not to possessive so long as your not right her face 🙂 So anyways, the little kitty whom we eventually called “coco” was bathed, fed, cleaned and kept in the courtyard where he basked in the mild heat and stayed happily in the protection of the cat carrier which we had for pepper.  I kept him under observation to see if he had any improvements in his limp. He did look in pain but he was so bouncy and ever so happy to please. For very short moments I would sit outside and he would somehow manage to jump up the chairs and lick me so happily.

Pepper went beserk. Inspite of never letting Pepper see Coco, he knew when we were with him from his scent and completly refused to go close to samie. He went running the length and breath of the house to make sure, the little cat never entered the house.  Those couple of days, pepper was a different cat. Well, to begin with, he’s ” ALWAYS” been a different cat !!! But he was especially difficult and acting up those days.

At some stage after nearly 4 days, I gave in. We saw no improvements in her foot. Although her activity level was so good, she was still dragging her leg but the swelling did subside alittle. I handed her over to the vet in Al Quoz after talking to the feline friends to take over this little kitty. With a heavy heart, we all bid farewell to her and hoped and prayed for the best for her future and recovery.

I was told by the Vet services that FF would call me to inform me of the outcome. December being one of my most busy periods, I could’nt make it earlier, so I went over to see her today only to be told that she had too severe a broken leg and the doctor after speaking to FF, had put her down. I cannot begin to express how disgusted I am feeling with myself.

I feel like I killed her. It was completly my fault. Had I not got him over and handed him to FF Vet, she might have had a chance. Why does everything always revolve around money ?? Did I try to play God ?? Why did’nt I believe that God would remove her pain and heal her ?

Its the worst thing that I have ever done. Have been so miserable the whole day. Every small tiny moment I spent with her, is haunting me. She was alone in the world when she passed away. No one was there beside her. No one to comfort.

Someone made such a drastic decision to kill a living being all for money …… atleast they could have informed me. If nothing else, I would have just left her at the muncipality vet ….. but why give up so easily ??? Just coz she did not have an owner ?? She wasnt blessed with a family …. and the only ones who saved her  ………… were the cause of her death. Talk of irony.

I ask God for forgiveness. It is a guilt I have to now bear the rest of my life.

Just today, while I went over to fetch Eman from school, as usual I was late. In my rush to school, I noticed this huge wooden pallet base right in the middle of Al Khail road. I was in the fast track and that is a four track highway with a very large plank (pallet) right in between. It would be too unsafe.

Called the police on 999 and informed them about the location so as to send someone to remove the harm from the road. The cops called twice to get the exact location and finally lastly to thank me. It was such a good feeling and I remember the hadith that, It is also sadaqa to remove a stone from the path which can harm a passerby.   And 20 minutes later I find out that I have caused the death of poor Coco.

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