Saturday, July 6, 2013

More kids in desperate need of parents and not just adults who buy them crap

Seriously, all of the techno-addled creeps in this commercial just need to STFU, put the glowing boxes down...

...and get their sad butts out the fricking door and DO something, PLEASE.

Seriously, could someone tell me what it is about the life made possible by the technology being sold in this commercial that is at all appealing, to anybody?

Hey, dickwads- here's a great story for you.  When I was a kid, we didn't have personal computers or cell phones.  Our entire house had one television set.  On good days, we got three channels.  We couldn't record anything- you watched what was on, when it was on, and it was over, the tv got turned off.  We had one telephone for five kids and two parents.  Which meant that when a kid was on the phone, that conversation was short and to the point.  Know what we did have?  Lots and lots of books.  Not that we spent a lot of time reading when the sun was shining- then we were outside, on our bicycles, or on foot.  We talked to each other face to face, because 99 percent of the time, the only other option was not talking at all.  Maybe we were swimming, or playing tag, or doing a thousand other things kids can find to do OUTSIDE.

And you know what?  Not only was that OK, it was in my humble opinion FAR SUPERIOR to anything I see in this ad.  I rode bikes and hiked and fished and seemed to be forever moving around.  You celebrate the ease at which you can spend your childhood gazing at a fricking screen.  And you think I lived in tough times?  You pity ME?

Sorry to disturb your little nirvana, kids.  Go back to being little techno-zombies, convincing yourselves that being able to Instantly Watch Everything At A Whim is a "good" thing, and that people like me lived in some kind of Dark Age hell because we had to find ways to fill our time that did not involve texting, downloading, streaming or "Sharing."  Just keep telling yourselves that.  I'm sure the commercials will keep supporting the theory.  Me, I don't buy it.


  1. I was wondering when you'd get to this.

    Oh, and, Hey cell phone companies! Cell phones are great, they're a great tool. They are not a way of life, nor are they an adequate replacement for the aforementioned. Knock it off with these ads.

  2. How (not) cute, twelve-year-olds talking like they're all old and wise and suffered so much as a result of download speeds they think were slow. Pardon me for a moment while I slap them for being pretentious little twats, and then I shall introduce them to true 'suffering' by taking away everyone's electronic devices and sending them all outside to play in the backyard. Go, use your imaginations! Think for yourselves! Oh, it's hard? Funny, I never had any trouble--but I'd already been doing it for years. That explains it. Guess y'all will have to suck it up, then. I'll come get you in a few hours.