Wishful thinking


Stop making such an ass of yourself.

donkey's ass


Green Eyed Monster

It grabs you silently by the heart

Gives you a sudden start.

Fending off yet another

Possible, maybe lover.

Sexting, email all are suspect

Loss of all your own self-respect.

Chase them down give them misery

Such is your sad history.

Look in the mirror long and hard

Shatter your love shard by shard.

Can’t admit it is he that he cheated

and made your love defeated.

The list goes on and on it seems

Shatters all your dreams.

The spikey tail of jealousy and its’ sting

You cannot cope, you cannot bring

Yourself to understand your love

Is not a sweet and gentle dove

But a poorly disguised rat

and it isn’t the others that

Betrayed you.

Dismayed you.

It was the viper in your breast

That destroyed your little nest.




Evil lurks

It twists and bends

Spreads hatred and misery

Cloaks itself like close friends

Reveals itself in history.

The Ides of March march on

and the evil reveals

Launches itself

on souls and steals

All goodness and light

Lives in spite and terror

Can’t look into the mirror

Or it will be destroyed

by its’ own black soul.



Welcome little spy

get smart phone

You think I don’t see you?

You think I am naive.

Slinking around on your belly

while your curiosity you relieve

Say hello to your little friends

I know they are here too.

I know you see

By the things that you do.

You are silly and strange

Bought really cheap

Information you arrange

To send them you creep.

The stalker can’t do it

The law won’t allow

So you do it yourself

You idiot cow.



The Charming Narcissist

Stop the Narcissist

It is hard to believe how well a Narcissist or Sociopath can fool people. It happened to me and several others. The woman was amazing. Funny, smart and really pretty. Each one of us thought we had found our best friend. Individually she groomed us. Made us feel special and important. The thing with a really good narcissistic sociopath is that they have an innate ability to hone in on what is important to you. They cannot feel and need someone to feed off. All they do in reality is put a mirror up and become that mirror image. Do you like her? Well hell yea because she has become you. She knows what is important, what makes you tick. She has spent a lifetime reading peoples emotions so she can mimic them. That is because she doesn’t have any of her own.
It is amazing how good they are at getting into your head. As time goes on you become comfortable. After all she is your best friend. You can tell her anything. This can be even more dangerous on social networks where you don’t get physical cues. They are able to create personalities. Before you know it you have told them your whole life story.
This is when it gets tricky you see they now have a loaded gun and you have supplied the bullets. They will manipulate you into doing things that perhaps you would not have thought of doing ordinarily. It is done slowly and expertly. Creeping into your mind. Now that they have you they will use you. They use you for their own entertainment. Gas lighting and changing the rules. Accusing you of doing things that astound you. This is how they get their emotions they feed off yours as you get upset by their accusations. Remember the bullets? Well now they use them. The secrets you told them are their weapons and they have no compunction about plastering them everywhere and twisting them.
Mine accused me of madness because I shared with her my mothers bipolar illness. The lies that came out were amazing. I am not the only one that this happened to. After a while I started talking to her other victims. It was a pattern. We banded together to stop her and we did. She cannot do her tricks as there are too many watching and warning.
The moral of this story is don’t share things that you don’t want to become public or that could be twisted with people you really don’t know. Social media gives these sociopaths masks to hide behind. Don’t be a victim. If a person in real life is too friendly too fast question why. Friendship is a thing that takes time and trust. It isn’t instant. I am lucky I got real friends from this experience. Others aren’t so lucky.

Vanity a cautionary tale

vanity tete Morte.jpg

In our youth we depend on our looks to attract a mate. We primp and polish and pose. Some never get beyond that stage. Most of us come to the realization eventually that there is more to life than that. The narcissist never does. When they look in the mirror they don’t see reality they see the youth and beauty that once was there. Living a fantasy of desirability and youth they see themselves above and beyond the mortal beings. The sad thing about it is they actually think they are better than others. Better bodies, smarter more beautiful by far and above everyone else. To this end they become alone. The sociopath is the same but they need the thrill of being adored so even though they feel everyone is not at their level they flatter them until they become an object of adoration. The victim is put up as the most brilliant, gorgeous, kindest best person that ever existed. What the victim doesn’t realize often times until too late is that the sociopath is just reflecting themselves. They are actually in love with their own being. If the victim adores them then they are worthy. That is until they become bored. A bored sociopath/narcissist can be vicious. They want entertainment so they shred, tear and destroy the object that formerly was the object of adoration. Most times they will convince the victim it is their own fault. They didn’t take care of themselves, they weren’t loyal enough, they had other friends, they are no longer desirable. This is the Gaslight phase of the relationship. As most sociopaths seek out the needy and sometimes Desperate and Dateless this can lead to very tragic results.

You see they need to destroy the object of their affection because being a narcissist they cannot possibly be wrong or mistaken in their belief. Therefore the object must be turned into something to make the narcissist the victim of being duped. Complicated? The mind of a narcissist is a rats nest of ego. There is no room for others and their feelings. They create and they destroy. Because they have no empathy others are only dolls to be manipulated and used. The object is nothing but something to be turned into an evil doll that they were mistaken in worshipping.

evil doll

Once that happens the sociopath is ready to be entertained. There is nothing they will not say or do to tear down their object. Accusations of sexual misconduct, illegal acts, abuse and other lies become common and are the weapons of choice.

The lesson in this is that if you end up in a relationship that from the first minutes puts you into an unrealistic pedestal take a good look at your friend or lover is it you they are in love with or themselves?  I leave you with the wise words of George Bernard Shaw.  Love should be love no matter what your looks become. Looks fade character grows.

Lost looks shaw

Who is the Bully what makes people do it? Are they Narcissists? Sociopaths or both?

bullied Miley Cyrus


Why do people do it? All kinds of people are victims. Even celebrities some of those more than others because of envy. They come from everywhere, all ages, genders, races and cultures. Sometimes they are people that have lost control in their lives so they can only find it in controlling and bullying others. Other times it is a way to fit in. Funny how a bully once they lose backup will fade away or back off. Others this is power and a way to get respect which they cannot get any other way. Fear is the only thing they know that gives them that respect. Others follow or friend a bully so they don’t become their target. Isolation is the weapon a bully uses. If another person is perceived as a loner or has few friends it sets them up to be bullied, Other times they come from homes where they are abused, ignored or are in chaos. They have no value at home so look for it in unhealthy or inappropriate ways. Many bullies end up using drugs or alcohol to subdue their pain.

Sometimes it is just that the person is mean an cruel that only feels good when they attack and cause others pain or harm. It is usually a pattern their whole lives. The odd thing is that new research has shown that bullies have excellent self esteem. They lack compassion, impulse control and social skills. Many are sociopaths and narcissists that can only feel by being extreme. The target is just that. Not a person but an object for them to ridicule or physically attack to make themselves feel anything.

Bullies have many aspects in common. They have a dominant manner and cast blame for the bad things in their life upon others. This is typical narcissistic behavior. The sociopath does it just for the sport and the target may even start out as a close friend or associate. The bully will build the person up and then tear them down for entertainment. Some people are predisposed to violence and aggression. While a lot of people are these are the ones that do not find healthy outlets for those predispositions.

People in the bully’s life also have an effect on their behavior. They may have a family that doesn’t care about them. On the other hand they may have parents that have become afraid of them and give in so they do not become the targets of their aggression. Discipline is either inconsistent or completely absent. When this happens the bully feels that there are no consequences to their behavior. It can be a matter of nature overcoming nurture. Another thing they have in common is they are attention seekers. Even if the attention is negative it is attention and that is what they crave. They never internalize rules or conduct or respect for any authority. So they run completely amok causing damage wherever they go until they finally go too far with the wrong person or get incarcerated for a crime against their victims.

Social media has made it easier for these people to do their bullying. Adults are bullied, children, even babies are made fun of because of their race or their looks. There are websites set up for just this purpose. The only way we can fight them and make people safe is to isolate them, make them know this behavior isn’t acceptable. Block them on social media if you see someone bullying someone else speak up. As a society we can protect the vulnerable. Help them find a safe place away from these twisted souls.

Protect from cyberbullying


You can stop bullying

cyber bully quote




Civilized people don’t bully. It needs to stop.

cyber bully dog



One of the many antibullying pages on Facebook. Support them.


From Psychology Today





















Recent Posts in The Wide Wide World of Psychology

The Surprising Psychology of BDSM


A Look at Effects of Stimulant Treatment on ADHD


5 Signs That Sibling Fighting May Be Bullying

How parents can identify a problem and intervene

Unique Considerations for Children Raised by Grandparents


Parenting a Child with Autism: Resist Pressure, Find Success

For each individual, the journey is unique

Love 2.0, Actually, Is All Around


The Wide Wide World of Psychology

Research, applied and basic
Joseph Magliano, Ph.D.


Angela Grippo, Ph.D.


David Bridgett, Ph.D.
