An Entry To My Haters

I'm not born to please YOU.

I swear upon my grave, nothing sucks more than being maligned for something you've never done nor had the slightest intention to do it. Nothing sucks more than being hated by a whole bunch of people that you've never even came across your entire life, for no apparent reason. Nothing's worst than crying yourself to bed every night because you just can't believe how insane and cruel this society has became. 

Time and again, I've got people telling me how fortunate I am, how envious they are and how they wish they had my life. Seriously?! You must be mad. 

On the surface to certain people, I seem like a bubbly, happy-go-lucky kinda girl that leads an awesome life. But behind all these smiles and laughter, placing aside the things you see... Maybe, you probably should think harder. I bet it'll be your greatest mistake which you'll gradually regret your whole life if you were in my position. 

How many times must I explain myself before people can stop judging me? I had enough of listening or seeing morons fabricating a whole pack of lies just to bring me down. The most ridiculous things can come from someone whom I've never even breathed a word to before. Fine, say all you want, for all I care. But dude, you sure you know me that well?

Like duh, everyone gets haters... And like I've mentioned in my previous post, everyone judges. But why hate on someone you know nothing about? I don't mind being hated, but have you questioned the reliability of the remarks you've made on me? Have you ever tried getting to know me before you start assuming?

She's not trying to seek for attention, you just don't understand her pain.

So in that case, how about I accuse your parents for bringing you up poorly due to how you bitch about me? Does that do justice to your parents? If it doesn't, why do something you dislike to others? You think by saying things in such offensive ways, and just going like "JUST SAYING." or "NO OFFENSE" will really help? Then can I just add any of it to every insult I say in your face? How does that feel?

I have no idea how my actions and words online may have portrayed myself to be on the superficial side. Besides, everybody you do not know in reality is superficial, no? Am I not right to say so? Which dude that you've actually met online and you can say that they aren't superficial? Please correct me if I'm wrong. How well can you get to know about someone's personality just based on their tweets, blogs or facebook?

If that's the case, I think it's only fair if everyone gets badly criticized equally right?

You don't see the flaws I'm forced to face with in front of my bathroom mirror everyday. People call me fake, they think I'm being hypocritical when I reject to compliments. They go like "If you don't think you're pretty, why post pictures of yourself?" Sometimes, I feel so raged. I wanna retaliate. But then again, I had second thoughts, will they even bother to listen?

It's funny how people hates to be ridiculously judged or accused, and yet they do the same to others.

1) Posting pictures yourself; if you think you look good in those pictures or you just like it, why not? Everyone definitely has at least that one particular shot that they look good in or which they really adore... Does that mean they think they are good looking? Totally absurd.

2) Issues of me copying quotes from Tumblr. I get most agitated whenever I receive comments on this. I've been quoting since the age of 13. Readers who knew me since then would've known. Time and again, I even tell people that my quotes are sometimes inspired by other quote accounts. But 3/4 of the time, I wrote them based on my own story or my friend's.

You mean people from Tumblr are human, and I'm not? We can't face the same phase in life when we're all teens? & What makes you think that quotes from Tumblr are even original in the first place?

3) How can people get away with it when they put on a full face of make up. And me, just simple make up... and I get this shit? I even posted pictures of myself without make up before, then thereafter people will start saying I photoshopped my pictures. I don't even have a photoshop application on my comp. lol?

On the contrary, when you're being confident... People start to think you're overrated, arrogant and sh*t. SERIOUSLY?! What exactly do you want bruh?

Honestly, I'm really insecure about my appearance. Friends who are close enough to me knows it best. I've never in my entire life felt that I was good enough. Sometimes I can't even help but to agree with my haters when they think I'm overrated.

I don't know, it's annoying being insecure, sensitive and emotional. I dislike it too. But can I help it? It's just in me. Why can't people understand? It's like, stabbing you in the tummy and asking you not to feel hurt. How everyone criticizes your every move and then blame you for getting affected.

Yea, I've friends... But how many can I actually confide to when I'm down, how many really cares instead of being just curious and how many will not judge?

Over the past few weeks, I've been feeling so god damn desolated and hell demoralized from all the hate comments I receive online. You can tell me to ignore, tell me it will be fine, tell me all the advices in the world to deal with it... But I don't need it.

I know well enough how to deal with all these myself. Yet as the saying goes, it's easier to be said than done. It's not easy at all. I've never hated my haters, it's just really disheartening to realize how people will never appreciate my existence. I'm trying, can't you see?

Trust me, you don't know how it feels until you go through the pain yourself.

Sometimes I just wanna tell myself....

However, with this perpetual and never ending sh*t I've to face in this society everyday... I doubt it's easy. We all have our insecurities, we all have our problems, we all hate being judged... Yet I don't understand why is it so hard for some people to comprehend how it feels.

Anyway, if you wanna accuse me for exposing myself to the internet, I deserve it and brought all these upon myself; posting pictures of myself and all. Then don't you think you should blame yourself, for exposing yourself, to me?! If you really dislike me that much, then why do you even bother about me so much? So long.

Every single soul out there that's reading this... I hope you understand I'm not trying to gain sympathy or attention. I mean, it's just how I really feel deep down inside. I don't need you to like me or have a complete change in your perspective towards me by the end of this post, but just feel me.