What is bullying ?

Bullying involves a power imbalance, intent to harm and a distressed target. Children often tease each other in play, but children as young as 3 can differentiate between play teasing and maliciousness. Teasing is no longer play if both parties are not laughing. Bullying involves repeated actions with negative intent over time.

Who is bullied ?

1 in every 6 Australian children is bullied every week.

Where does it occur ?

Nearly anywhere in society: in school hallways, on buses or trains, during sports, in the classroom, at home or work. There is usually no adult around when it occurs at school and the bully is usually not alone. Sometimes bystanders watch.

Why do people bully others?

There are lots of reasons people bully others. Bullies may be jealous, or afraid. They may not know how to act around others. They may not understand someone or something. They may not understand that everyone is different and valuable. They may make fun of, tease or torment someone who looks different than they do, who speaks differently than they do, who is unable to do some of the things they do, or who has different beliefs than they do. Bullies may also have been bullied themselves. If a person is a bully it is because of them. If you are being bullied it is not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you.

How are people bullied ?

  1. Physical aggression (hitting, tripping, kicking, pinching, pushing, stealing of or damage to belongings)

  2. Verbal aggression or intimidation (name-calling, teasing, put-downs). This includes email or sms bullying

  3. Psychological intimidation and belittling (stand over tactics, gestures)

  4. Social exclusion, rumours, putdowns

  5. Sexual inappropriateness (physical, verbal or nonverbal sexual conduct)

Signs of being bullied:

  1. Lost or damaged possessions

  2. Visible evidence of injury (abrasions, cuts and bruising)

  3. Increased anxiety

  4. Upset stomach , diarrhoea or constipation

  5. Sleep difficulties, nightmares

  6. Reluctance to go to school or school refusal

  7. Increased sadness or depression

  8. Reduced academic performance

  9. Increased social isolation

  10. Loss of self-esteem and confidence

  11. Increased anger or aggression.

What to do ?

  1. Identify safe places to play and be with friends

  2. Stay in groups

  3. Stay calm, stand straight and tall

  4. Face the bully and say, “I don't deserve this, stop it” or “I don't like that, stop it”.

  5. Tell the bully you are going to report them

  6. Move towards an adult or a safe group of children.

What can parents do ?

  1. Educate your child about bullying

  2. Be aware of school policies regarding bullying

  3. Support positive peer pressure to prevent acts of bullying or teasing

  4. Role play appropriate responses to bullying (as above) with your child

  5. Reinforce that the child is not at fault. Bullying is the result of someone else's behaviour, attitude or beliefs. It is not because of who the victim is.

  6. Encourage your child to communicate any bullying acts

  7. Seek help of school staff

  8. Encourage a range of positive social relationships

  9. Teach your child effective problem solving techniques

  10. Reinforce your child's strengths and positive characteristics frequently

  11. Use resources, such as books or computer programs to teach your children about bullying

  12. Be a good model of appropriate behaviour. It's not what you say, but what you do that a child will remember.

If you would like to discuss concerns about the psychological effects of bullying with a Psychologist, please phone Regional & Rural Mental Health Services on (07) 4637 9989, contact us via our Contact Form to arrange an appointment to see a member of our team.

Dr Pamela Seaton