Fw: Yard sign

Curator's note: This RW FWD: is a more expansive version of this submission already in the archive.

Subj: Fwd: Yard sign

> >
> >
> > (Read this email first, then the attachment.)
> > My neighbor is a "lefty" of sorts (Obama bumper stickers, gung-ho socialized medicine, "guns should be banned", etc.). So this past spring I put this sign up in my yard after one of his anti-gun rants at a neighborhood cocktail party. The sign wasn't up more than an hour before he called the police and wanted them to make me take down the sign. Fortunately, the officer politely informed him that it was not their job to take such action without a court order and that he had to file a complaint "downtown" first, which would be reviewed by the city attorney to see if it violated any city, county, or state ordinances, which if there was a violation a court order would be sent to the offending party (me) to "remove the sign in seven days". After several weeks he was informed that the sign was legal (by a quarter of an inch) and there was nothing the city could do, which obviously made him madder. I tried to smooth things over by inviting him to go
> > shooting with me and my friends at the hunt club but that seemed to make him even more angry. I then asked him if he wanted to go to a Tea Party rally but again he declined my outreach efforts to bring about a better understanding between political and social opponents. I am at a loss how to reconcile our long relationship (notice I did not say friendship), any suggestions would be welcome. Maybe I'll ask him if he wants to go deer hunting, which opens up November 1st, you know, just a bunch of guys running through the woods chasing Bambi, then sitting around the campfire roasting marshmallows, drinking beer, and singing our favorite country songs to the accompaniment of Jake's harmonica (he is a better lawyer than a harmonica player but don't tell him I told you). I even made him a bumper sticker and that made him madder than he already was! Anyway, that's life in our neck of the woods, how's about yours? (SEE ATTACHED PICTURE!!)


Anonymous said...

Great, now you just have to sit in your house for the rest of your life to make sure nobody breaks in to take your guns.

gruaud said...

I like how he tries to meet the "lefty" halfway:

1) Puts up obnoxious sign
2) Invites him to 'go shooting' (because lefties hate guns, as we all know)
3) Invites him to teabagging social where people will insult said lefty every moment he's there
4) Maybe invites him to go hunting and get drunk
and sing songs about killing commies, no doubt
5) Makes insulting bumper sticker

Clem thinks that putting a veneer of cornpone jes'-a-good-ol'-boy aw-shucks-we-din't-mean-no-
harm bullshit gives him a license to be an asshole.

Dude, you're the coolest.

ferschitz said...

Yeah, right: y'all jest tried so hard to "make amends" with yer neighbor that you put this giant sign up in your yard telling robbers to buglarize them.

Why, when I want to improve my relationship with my neighbors, I put up giant signs in my yard directing thieves to rob my neighbors STAT!

I also like how this guy acts all innocent-y about, why I "tried & tried" to be friendly, but inviting an alleged anti-gun person to go hunting with me...

Yadda yadda. I know this is made up b.s., but per usual: rightwing humor FAIL.

Anonymous said...


"Ever been hunting before there, Barty?"

"No. Something about a bunch of guys, all alone, up in the woods... seems kinda gay."

Once again the wisdom of the Simpson's is applicable in everyday life.

MrWhipple said...

It's okay to have different political views than your neighbor. It's not okay to be a dick about it.

katz said...

Also the sign precedes the forward, so it's a wish-fulfillment fabrication of what this guy plans to do if he ever meets a liberal, which he's obviously never done.

Hibryd said...

I think my original comment was that the neighbor shouldn't get mad, he should just make his own sign:

"My neighbors may own guns but they're not home right now."

Tootseye said...

Yeah, what's with the chasing "Bambi" in the woods and sharing marshmellows around the fire thing?? Seems like most Republics are closeted gays (not that there's anything wrong with that) or something... something's not quite adding up with the fake aw-shucks story. I'm starting to get visions of Deliverance with those 2 hillbillies who sexually assault Ned Beatty & Jon Voight... and hearing that banjo music...

Hooray4US said...

Seen this photo here before but the fake "story" is pathetic. Teabaggers should just stick with being the nasty, rude assholes that they are. Trying to fake something stupid about how they tried to "reach out" to some lefty is boring and dull. Wastes the impact of their photo, which, while dumb, has some amusement value. Typical rightwing humor failure.

Marc with a C said...

I just hope the neighbor made an interesting counter-sign. I dunno. Something like "And in case you were wondering, my neighbor does indeed have a puny dick."

PS: "Anti-gun rants at a neighborhood cocktail party?" Where the hell are you, the Hamptons?

Dreaded Liberal said...

The story is made up, but I like how, in this fictional situation, the teabagger gets his panties in a wad because some fictional leftist has the NERVE to have an anti-gun "rant" in front of him.

It's like these teabagger cannot bear to hear any other point of view but their own. So if they happen to hear someone state something that is contrary to their opinion, then it gives the teabagger the "right" to BULLY the leftist just because.

So this little teabagger fairy tale complete with photo very aptly displays the bullying nature of this tribe. It's their way or the highway, and if you don't agree with every last detail of what the teabaggers do (although: good luck figuring out what it is that they are actually "for"), then they are ENTITLED to be rude, nasty bullies.

Pretty much sums up their raison d'etre, doesn't it? Interesting, too, their hypocracy of not living by the teachings of Jesus, who says to be kind to one another and help each other out.

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