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27 November 2005 @ 08:38 pm
Roy/Ed; An Unanswerable Theory  
Title: An Unanswerable Theory
Author: animethief92
Warnings: Fluff, yaoi
Pairing: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Theme: #5- Attraction of opposites (50_reactions)
Word Count: 2,327
Disclaimer: I don’t own FMA

They were totally opposite in just about everything from hobbies, to interests, and just to types of food they preferred. Roy and Edward didn’t seem to match up whatsoever, except for the fact they were both alchemists. Other than that, nobody could’ve ever suspected them to become a couple behind their backs.

Roy and Edward had been together long before they had announced to everyone and nearly gave them all heart attacks. Especially Hawkeye, who shortly after the announcement left to the ‘ladies room’ and came back twenty minutes later with still red, puffy eyes that had obviously been crying. For a while, the guilt trip that Ed had felt about Hawkeye made him avoid ever going into the Colonel’s office when she was present.

Their closest friends still seemed to puzzle how they could ever have an enjoyable date for both of them. That’s why Hughes, Havoc, Fuery, Breda, Falman, and even Hawkeye, who they forced to join them without explaining what they were planning, were going to spy on what of their dates.

Hughes was lucky and could always get information out of Roy without him being suspicious, but Ed sometimes could see through the bizarre demeanor.

“Are you going on a date with Ed anytime soon?” Hughes slipped the question into one of their casual conversations and caught Roy off guard.

“Tomorrow night actually,” he looked up with narrow eyes and gave his friend a hard stare, “why?”

Hughes shrugged and began to leave the room with a nonchalant air, and with a simple wave answered. “Just curious, I just wanted to know the day I’m not supposed to piss you off.”

Roy didn’t believe that to be entirely truthful, but he didn’t let it bother him any since he had a whole stack of paperwork that needed to be completed before tomorrow or he would miss the date he had promised to stay late at work. For once he was going to do what Hawkeye told him to do everyday.


Hughes had made sure to gather their group in the break room during lunch so they could begin scheming. The only person they didn’t invite was Hawkeye, because they knew she would object and probably warn Roy or Ed of what they were planning.

“So the plan is,” Hughes began while acting as if it was a mission, “Havoc will drive Roy home and then drop the car off in a parking lot nearby and wait until Roy leaves his house. From there he will tail him until he meets up with Ed, and from there you’ll have to find the nearest phone and call us at the restaurant down the street from his house.”

All of them nodded in unison, looking completely serious about the whole deal.

“Then we’ll meet where Havoc says they’ve stopped, and by then hopefully you all will have disguises on. And I don’t mean something that will make you stick out like a sore thumb in public, but something casual and you have to act blasé as well. Any questions?”

Nobody raised their hand and then they all scattered as Fuery went to go tell Riza to meet them at the restaurant.


The next day, all of them set their plan into motion after Havoc left to drop off Roy at his house.

All of them went home and put on the most casual clothes they could find and then headed straight to the restaurant. Roy didn’t seem to notice Havoc or any of them acting strange, but the whole day most of them tried hard to act normal.

“So Chief, what are you doing tonight?”

“Why does everyone seemed so interested in my personal life suddenly?” Roy raised an eyebrow at Havoc using the mirror.

“Well, it’s Friday night and I was just curious to know what you do when you actually get off early.”

Roy didn’t seem convinced at the answer so only gave a vague answer, “Meeting someone at that new restaurant.”

After Havoc had dropped off Roy and pretended to leave his using his ordinary route, he parked the car in an alley about three blocks away and changed into his clothes. He wondered if the rest of them had brought something warm to wear considering it was so chilly that day.

He put on a hat and pulled the brim down low before heading back towards Roy’s house. Surprisingly, Ed and Roy were already way ahead of Havoc and he had almost jog to make sure they didn’t get out of his sight. Luckily for him though, the two of them passed right by where everyone else was waiting and he ran inside quickly to explain where they were going.

“That restaurant’s going to be booked full! Not to mention that it’s a fancy sort of place, where you would put on something nice to wear not this!” Breda pointed to his outfit which would blend in with any normal person on the street.

What are you guys planning to do?” Hawkeye asked crossly as she approached who she knew was the mastermind of the whole scheme.

“We’re spying on their date Lieutenant, and I bet you won’t object once we get to finally reveal the secret of what they do on a date! And don’t even try to deny how curious and jealous you’ve been ever since the little Ed stole him from you!”

Hawkeye was at a lost for words, but then gave in and didn’t protest against them anymore. Truth be told, she was jealous and is curious to know what the two do on a date. As they began to exit the building one at a time, she even began to think this might be a good idea in some weird way.


Ed suddenly stopped and jerked his hand away from Roy so he could sneeze. Roy put an arm around his shoulder and took off his own glove to feel his lover’s forehead.

“You sure you feel up to this tonight? If you’re sick we can just stay home?” Even though he didn’t feel any trace of a fever, he didn’t want to get Edward sick because he thought he had to come outside with him.

“Roy, you don’t have to act like this all the time… I’m more comfortable when you act like you do when we’re with everyone else.” Edward blushed from the considerate look in Roy’s eyes that was mixed with a little pain from what Ed said. “Wait I didn’t mean it that way…”

Edward knew he didn’t have a right to say that to Roy since he was acting like an idiot himself. Especially since he wasn’t usually the type to get all sentimental and flustered all the time, but when he was around Roy it just felt natural to act that way.

“I understand, but I can’t help how I act.” Roy kissed his lover on the forehead and immediately afterwards demanded that Ed dispose of the nasty gloves, and then gave him an extra pair he had brought.


Falman had been the one who was able to follow them the closest so far, but when the couple went into the restaurant he traded off with Havoc and Hawkeye who pretended to be a couple and somehow managed to get a table near Roy and Ed’s.

The one thing that separated them was a wall that separated the smoking and non-smoking sides from each other, but the two tables were practically next to each other. Hawkeye ordered a small salad, but Havoc who really was hungry ordered a large meal.

“I still feel guilty every time I look at her…” The two eavesdroppers could hear Ed say with genuine guilt echoing in his voice.

“You mean Lt. Hawkeye?”

“Her and… Winry… I know she’s liked me for a really long time and for me to suddenly call and say. ‘Hey what’s up? Yeah I’m great! Guess what? You have no chance with me now that I have a boyfriend! And guess who it is! It’s Roy Mustang! Yep, another one of the dogs of the military! Aren’t you so happy?’” Edward imitated a conversation that Roy, Havoc, and Hawkeye all knew he could never say to his childhood friend.

All the spies could hear was some slight rustling and then Roy was whispering something to Ed. Neither could hear, so Havoc tried to lean closer and see if he could hear. It didn’t do any good when they began ordering food and then sat in silence for a while.

Hawkeye could feel her own pangs of guilt growing stronger as she listened to the rest of the conversation.

“I’ve never felt so selfish before, and now I can’t believe I would do that to Lt. Hawkeye. If I hadn’t butted in, you two probably could’ve gone out and gotten married or something… Had a son to take your place as Fuhrer later on…” Edward’s voice trailed off and then he made a startled noise.

“Ed, will you stop blaming yourself for things like that! I understand you accuse yourself of taking away a chance for Hawkeye and me, but she had so many chances to speak up and so did I. Neither of us took those chances when we had them, and you were the one to say something first… Not to mention, you’re the most selfless person I know.” Hawkeye couldn’t bear to hear anymore, but sat in her place and mechanically ate her salad until Roy and Ed left.

“I have to get home Havoc…” She excused herself and quickly left from the restaurant trying hard not to burst into tears as she made her way home.


Havoc explained why Hawkeye left so suddenly, but that didn’t stop the rest of the guys from tailing the two lovers. They followed them until Edward stopped abruptly in front of a body piercing shop.

Their big group split up and some of them hid in the many alleys surrounding them, all the while hoping that the two didn’t see them all together. Neither of them seemed to notice, or else they were hiding it very well as they entered the shop.


Ed pulled Roy in the shop by the arm and smirked as an evil idea was hatched. Roy looked around at all the different decorations you could put on your body and stopped when he saw a list of where they pierced your body on this.

“Ears… tongue… eyebrow… belly button… nose…” He stopped to wince at the last one listed and vowed that whatever Ed was planning, he would not pierce that.

The blonde was conversing with the man in charge animatedly and looked as if the two were having a great conversation. Then with a sudden change, Ed looked serious and asked the man something while pointing to his ear. Then Roy figured out what the little alchemist had thought when they were passing the shop.

“I hate it when he does things on impulses like this!” Roy muttered to himself and was about to force Ed out the door, but when he saw the smile on Ed’s face, he couldn’t say anything.

“I’ve got something that can prove that we’re together! Or at least I think it…” Ed lowered his chin and stared at the ground somewhat ashamed, but Roy made him look up.

“What do you want to get pierced exactly?”

“I’ll get my left ear pierced and you get your right. Does that sound good?” Roy smiled and gave him a nod, even though in truth he had always found piercing for women or just plain gross.

Edward began asking about prices and told Roy to go look at what he wanted; while warning him that he would have to keep it in for six weeks. Roy noticed that after Ed had discussed all the prices he had chosen two earrings. One dangled and was a gold cross that he knew Ed would modify slightly, and the other was what the man called a stud and was just plain gold.

Roy decided to choose two as well and hoped that he wasn’t making his lover spend too much on him. His were similar to Ed’s except he would have to ask Ed to modify his slightly as well.

“Ready for this Roy?” Ed looked as if he expected Roy to get upset and tell him how stupid this idea was.

“Yeah, let’s hurry before it gets too dark.” Then both of them disappeared into the back room to get what Edward considered somewhat a connection to one another.


Hughes raised an eyebrow when the two disappeared into another room and then emerged with Ed wiping away a tear and Roy smirking at them. The two collected a bag with two bottles in it and then were leaving when Hughes began to walk ahead.

“And you asked if I was ready… When you’re the one who was in pain.” Roy played with the tip of Ed’s braid and kept twirling it around his index finger.

“Don’t think I didn’t see you wipe away a tear or two.” Ed smiled as the two of them turned into the nearby park and all of their eavesdroppers had assembled together to watch them as they strolled down the winding path in the park.

Most of the time they were hidden by trees, until finally the whole group of nosy men almost walked in on them while they were kissing. Until they saw the two locked in a kiss which probably started while watching the romantic sunset, none of them had understood what still brought them together.

Then they realized it there was no explanation to how they could love each other so much. It was an unanswerable theory that was just existing because nature intended it too. Along with making that revelation, Hughes and Havoc had some really good blackmail on Roy.
moon_wingmoon_wing on November 28th, 2005 06:25 pm (UTC)
Niceness!! Some of the emotions were a bit rushed, as well as the ending, but all in all a very well-excecuted ficcy!!

*pictures Ed 'modifying' his earring*
Stephanieanimethief92 on November 28th, 2005 10:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the comment!