A.A. 12-Step Christian Parallels: Steps 7-9

Steps Seven through Step Nine

We have many times documented the frequent statements by A.A. co-founder Bill Wilson that his friend Rev. Sam Shoemaker was the major source of the Big Book ideas and Twelve Steps.1 In 1955, Newsweek named Shoemaker one of the ten greatest preachers in the United States.2 Shoemaker was known as a great communicator, and was described by his associate Rev. W. Irving Harris as a "Bible Christian."3

Healing From Addiction: Where Does Our Marriage Go from Here?

Ask Angie: My heart aches. I've been married 16 years. We have 6 children. My husband got out of rehab for alcoholism, but also worked on his sex addiction. I feel as though I can work through the alcohol part but the trust with the sex addition is not happening. I have been supporting my family for over 2 months with daycare I have in my home. Questions of leaving my husband are a daily struggle. My church has helped with what they can with my bills while he was away. Where do we all go from here?

It’s Awfully Easy to be Judgmental


He saw me glaring at him.

As he walked slowly and deliberately to his car in the handicapped-reserved space beside mine, I did everything possible to silently display my contempt. He obviously didn’t need that spot. I wanted to make sure he knew that I knew and that I disapproved.

I’m not sure why I felt the need to be the parking space police that morning. I was having a particularly hard time getting my chair situated beside my car, and I guess I wanted to vent my frustration on someone else.

The Real Power Of Forgiveness

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. Lewis Smedes

I wrote an article advancing a revolutionary notion: Forgiveness isn’t... easy.

No kidding.

We all struggle to forgive when we’ve been hurt. That’s sort of obvious.

So here’s a question: If it’s so hard, why bother? Why go to all the trouble of forgiving?

Why not get revenge? Why shouldn’t I make that other person suffer? Why just let it go and let him get away with it?

Forgiveness isn't Easy

forgive Forgiveness isn't easy. When someone hurts me, my natural reaction is not forgiveness. How can I forgive something this bad?

Have you ever heard (or asked) that question?

Forgiveness isn’t our first impulse. We’ve all been hurt, and “letting it go” isn’t programmed into our menu of responses. We want to fight back, to hurt the one who hurt us.

The common phrase “don’t get mad, get even” sounds clever, but there’s really no such place as “even.” Revenge only perpetuates a hurtful cycle. To paraphrase Ghandi, eye for eye and tooth for tooth leaves us with a world full of toothless blind people.

Forgiveness of Yourself

You are not a failure. You are a Christian in recovery who failed. Satan wants you to forget what you have accomplished so far and to focus on a few moments of inappropriate behavior. Jesus wants you to focus on Him!

"I am in a Bible study and I feel I should give up this privelege."

No way! That is Satan talking to you again. Stay in the Word.
Pray and commune with God. Ask for forgiveness and then accept His grace and mercy.

  • Ask the LORD to forgive and cleanse you of your error.
    Isaiah 1:18
    Come now, let us reason together,"
    says the LORD.
    "Though your sins are like scarlet,
    they shall be as white as snow;
    though they are red as crimson,
    they shall be like wool.

I Have Learned....

The following quote contains "principles for Christian living" that are taken mostly from the 'wisdom' literature of the bible: Proverbs and Ecclesiastes.

It is impossible for one to live right, or to have wholesome
relationships, without following Scriptural principles.

I'VE LEARNED that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved...
The rest is up to them.

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I'VE LEARNED that just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want to, doesn't mean they don't love you
with all they have.

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