• Member Since 7th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago


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"What's a Warpig?"

An innocent question from a innocent filly brings back a flood of memories Celestia would have preferred to keep buried.

Rated Teen and tagged Gore for violence.

Edited by Magicman7997 and Evanescyan

Now with a dramatic reading by Goombasa

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 166 )

I'll just put this here to save time.:trollestia:

Four views, four likes...and one dislike? What the hell?

Oh man, that was chilling. Another great masterpiece, Wraith. The horror of what was done to the cows, the Pigs' manipulations and beggings... holy crap, I got such an Animal Farm theme from that and I have goosebumps. Liked and faved, you magnificent bastard.

5084439 Generals gathered in their masses...

5084888 Just like witches at black masses...

I felt goosebumps throughout the entire thing. Wow.
....I'm kinda speechless, so have a mustache for your awesomeness :moustache:

That was...horrifying.
Great work!

Well... That was an quite dark explanation for the Cows and Pigs.

Perhaps,” Celestia answered simply. “I suspect it is the influence of some curse or entity."

Of course you do. Can't face the idea it was your own nature head on, eh? Perhaps you've bought into being put on a pedestal just a little bit. Not as much as the ones putting you there, but it must be hard to hear all that praise and not think just a hair better of yourself.

Holy moly,

Did you just do an expose on the " I know the blasphemy of them which say they are Jews, and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan." Revelations 2:9?

Poisining the well, with the whole Keylines thing, making profit off war, using capital as a tool. Treating others as cattle at best, "goyim have soul of animal, cattle at best" and negotiating for their lives to a prince(ss) or other central authority?

Wow, even if they were not who you had in mind, still just still.

(Oh and the whole Celestia slaughtering the pigs, so not kosher, is most righteous.):scootangel:

5084729 There really are people that don't like Black Sabbath?:applejackunsure:

5084827 Animal Farm, huh. Never thought of that while writing this, but I'll take it! And I'm glad you liked it.

5084988 :yay: Many thanks! This shall go on my wall!

5085005 Thank you.:twilightsmile:

5085091 I'm sure her violent tendencies won't in any way manifest in an unhealthy obsession with Twilight Sparkle.

5085183 i have no idea what half of those things are. I just like Black Sabbath.:twilightsmile:

Although the symbolism of capitalism and profits of war was very intentional. While not a phrase I thought of during the writing, 'Poisoning the Well' is very apt for this. Also, I have no idea what the bit about Jews and 'synagogue' means, but if it means the things I just described, then yes.

5085194 Not consciously intentional, but I'll roll with it all the same.:twilightsmile:

I still can't believe he rhymed masses with masses, that's just terrible.

Part of me wants to say the Warpigs are humans.. but at the same time I suspect they are in fact actually pigs, which would fit Artemis's Animal Farm reference

5085505 They are literally pigs within the narrative. But symbolically, it's actually a lot like Animal Farm.

How I did that without noticing is beyond me.:applejackunsure:

Generals gathered in their asses?

5085441 You bet your ass it is. Mounting a solo assault against the Pigs, slaughtering them in droves - overkill.


And you can never go wrong with Black Sabbath.

I refresh the page after 3 hours and there are 17 new comments.
PFFFFT! :rainbowlaugh: Don't ask me why this amuses me so; it simply does.

Could have been asses.

THAT JUICY OCTY PIC! You have no idea how happy this pic makes me. Her expression is PERFECT!


I have one goddamn job here...

But y'all gotta go deeper than that to put me out of a job.

Perilous Nation - Testament

5085413 They're two different words, though, right? Can't you rhyme "their" with "there" and "they're"?

No. It's considered poor form.

Excellently done, most chilling. One minor nitpick. Sentience is the ability to feel, perceive, or experience subjectively. Or, in other words, to feel sensation. Sapience is the ability to think abstractly, reason and act with appropriate judgement. Cows are still sentient, they are no longer sapient. It is an understandable, and unfortunately common, mix-up.

5086125 Fixed. And I'm glad you liked it.:twilightsmile:

Happy to help! It's nice to be reminded that as loving and motherly as Princess Celestia is, she does have the ability to damn scary. Can you say mama bear? (warning, tvtropes).

Interesting story with a badass Princess Celestia :pinkiecrazy:

This is brilliant. Industrious warmongers, dealers of chaos, building a machine of pigs powered by greed. An act so horrid, it makes an harbinger of peace turn to the slaugherhouse. So wonderfully poetic and grim, I can almost taste the blackening smog, the blood of bloated bodies, and the hate of an angel.

5086155 :Wow, how'd I miss that. Nice save.

5085800 Damn, I'll admit, I'm a little aroused at that pic...

5084439 THANK GOD!! I'm not the only Ozzy fan here!

This is something most members either don't know or don't mention, but an author can upvote their own story from the moment they make it. So,
1 author like
3 reader likes,
1 reader not-like.
4 views still legitimate because the author has not viewed their work after publishing it. (if you read your own fic after publishing it, it gives views for that. Or at least it did the last time I published something.

. . . SO I was just looking at different stories while my Ipod was on shuffle. . . I saw this story while the song in question was being played on my Ipod, so I feel like that's a sign that I gotta read this.

Holy crap...
No wonder the pigs and sheep and cows are all so docile...they're deathly afraid of their mistress!

5086229 Too late. TvTropes is my second internet home.

5086264 I'm glad you enjoyed it.:twilightsmile:

5086409 It's all i could hope for.:pinkiesmile:

Oh, and comments. Comments are a hell of a drug.:raritywink:

5086521 Aren't we all.

5086691 creatureentertainment.com/creature/wordpress/imageassets/2013/01/fuck-yeah.jpg

5086760 I make it a point to never up-vote my own fic. It would defeat the purpose.

Still wondering why it was downvoted, though.:trixieshiftleft:

5086789 media.giphy.com/media/qFNnOKIs6tBD2/giphy.gif

5086945 Okay, but when people ask I'm going to blame you for Mistress Celly.:trollestia:

5087158 I grew up on Ozzy. On the way home from the hospital, Dad played the album Black Sabbath. We have each album they made. We have them on 33 1/2, 8-track, cassette, reel-to-reel, and CD.

War Pigs was the first Black Sabbath song I ever heard. :pinkiehappy:


I really liked it. It's an example of a dark story done right--mostly because it doesn't twist everything in the FIM universe to achieve the darkness, and being dark doesn't seem to be its main goal. We can still see Celestia as being wise and benevolent even after what we've seen her do, and we can still see the world in which FIM takes place as a fundamentally good one despite everything shown here. In particular, I like the bizarre and really just fucking creepy exploitation system that the pigs had set up. It's fucked up within the universe's existing standards, which is really hard to accomplish, and portrayed that way. So, good job!

I enjoyed this.
Luna is often portrayed as the less peaceful of the diarchs, but I always felt that Celestia seemed better suited to the role of "warrior princess". Celestia going to slaughter (without being portrayed as a tyrant) alone would be enough to catch my interest, but your writing is incredible.

It seems that whatever Napoleon the pigs did to the cows wasn't inherited, as there are talking cows now. That, at least, is a positive.

5087378 In the show the cows seemed smart enough to talk, yet they still stampeded like actual cows after being frightened and obviously have to be looked after on Sweet Apple Acres.

The idea is that the cows are slowly returning to their previous levels of sapience, but they're still incapable of tending to themselves.

5087346 I'm glad you liked it. I'm really glad you liked it!:yay:

Now, it would seem rather unnecessary to try and milk some publicity from you like the proverbial lactating bovine, but seeing as I am a comment-whore, I invite you to do a review of whatever flavor you'd like.

(TL;DR: Would you like to review this in a blog?:duck:)


I found this one the most fitting:

I instantly thought of the Sabbath song, so kudos.
Have a song;

Except from Warpigs: A History of the Great Plains Conflict


but most either only pared her a second glance

Is it supposed to 'spared'?
There was another but I lost it.

I like the story. Most other comments here have already stated why it is good, so I'll spare you a textbook.

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